Bonus #182 - Doug Smith [PATREON PREVIEW]

Based of elders beautiful guest. I got a pretty standard shitty dad question for you. Great. Long story short, my parents divorced when I was young and I moved in with my dad. He was in a abusive piece of shit. So I moved out when I was 13 and never spoke to him again. Would you bow forward a decade and I diagnosed with something called Martin syndrome. Marfan is not flying and is in Martian syndrome. What isn't that like gigantism? I don't know. It didn't bow bond. Doesn't bow bond. Mariana which have Marfan syndrome or some machine. I think that's when you see that like turned into a Titan when you it basically I kind of think it's you're turning into a Titan characterized by skeletal changes like elongation of the limbs and looseness of joints displacement of the lens of the eye. So that's where the blindness comes in. Look up. Marfan syndrome NBA players and keep playing while you do that. Maybe see if you can be good at producing. Oh, they're right. Practically. I'm a dad like to fight a guest. This guy has like five years left. And my older sister has gotten close to him and has been taking care of him because of that. And now she's pissed at me. The guy he used to abuse when he was young. That I'm not taking care of him and blah blah blah blah. I live three hours away so I don't even know why she's mad at me for that. And then she's also threatening to have him cut me out of his will. If I don't start pitching in and reach out to him. I didn't even know I was in it. The only thing in his will is his house split four ways. So I'm looking at probably 50 to 100K. I have 40K in the loans. I need to pay off. So I don't really know what the fuck to do here. I kind of planned on never talking to the sky again, but now my sister is telling me he has this will. And if your sister and fuck your dad, they don't start talking to him and helping him out. She's going to have him cut me out of it. And I don't know man. I got 40K in loan. So I don't know. What's the move? You go a little bit more. I'm sorry. Do I talk it off? You don't even fucking know it in my life. I don't know. Sorry. It's kind of rambling. You do know. You're just in the exact situation that makes you the most nervous. You're reverting into being a nervous-ass little kid who's fucking drunk dad might fucking give him a black eye. So you're scared again. Yeah, dude. You got to tell your sister to fuck off here in my personal opinion. I don't know. You're you're kind of dealing with elderly parents. You have a bunch of weird shits going on. In fact, didn't some crazy shit happen? That was one of the reasons you put in the podcast. That was the best excuse yet. They found out my dad's caretaker was a convicted felon. That's not, dude. You just trust that you're barely mobile. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, what we should do is get this convicted felon to care for your dad. Well, that solves all the problems. Send this convicted felon to steal from this guy's abusive piece of shit dad. Doesn't matter if you're in the will or not. Yeah. The money's going to be fucking. You know what's yours. The money's going to a fucking gated commune in Barbados. Um, what we do. What did I? Do you want to fucking? Is it too weird to talk about? No, no, no. You had it. You just found out that your dad's caretaker was a felon. It was not. My dad was actually doing okay. It was his wife's caretaker. So her kids were hiring just, you know, the cheapest, you know, crags. That's what you want to call corners is caring. You have to get your elderly mother. Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane, dude. Yeah. They're like, can you change a diaper? No. They're on taskrabbit. They're like, watch my mom for seven hours, right? $40 an hour and two bottles of water. Yeah. One time, if you can mount a television, you can care for, hey, why do they change your diaper? Yeah. You get shelves, but then you're like, hey, in the notes, hang out with my mom and change her diaper twice. We'll give you $40 tip if so. One time Adam, Adam was still Adam Friedland was telling me he hired a fucking he hired a taskrabbit to clean. Yeah. Like I guess he just wanted like a, you know, he didn't have, he just wanted someone to clean his place. And he fucking and the guy is just some dude shows up just a taskrabbit and he's like, man, I can do it. Whatever. And I'm just finding on his belly, on his phone, on his phone, the guy just on his phone, feed up, be like, oh, sorry, I was taking a break. Seeing a grown man. First of all, seeing any grown man with his feet up, like Britney Spears, like on the cover of her fucking album, on my bed would piss me off. Something just primal in me would be like, stop enjoying my bed. No other man can enjoy my bed. It was a girl. It wouldn't make me as mad. But anyway, yeah, hired taskrabbit. So, so, so this is now, so this is your step mom, basically. My step, my step mom's kids hired the, they were, they were burned through these people, like two weeks, paying them a hundred bucks a day for round the clock here. You know, and these people would burn out and, and, and hit the bricks. So they were just burning through these people. And finally, they found this woman who was great. She was just no complaints, just reorganized the garage going above and beyond, cooking three meals a day, you know, sweet bubbly. And then my sister-in-law, at some point, was like, we should probably be doing background checks on these people. There's a lot of elder abuse and, you know, theft and fraud. And they ran a background check. She's just texted me a picture of a fucking mug shot. Oh, no. Just this methed out face. Just chopped hair cut. Just, oh my god. But wait, was that like how far in the past, like three, like a month before her? It was, it was, I think it was from two years prior to a little. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. And she was great at the job. But yes, we were kind of torn, we're like, but she's good. Like, they're happy with her. She's on thin ice. Yeah. We know what you've done. We know what you're up to. So when basically what we said, we were like, we know your, you know, we know your history. Don't do anything. And then you kept her on for a while. Nice. And then she eventually, you know, choked my mother-in-law to death. She, she actually ended up selling my stepmother's kidneys and the black market. But she told them they were from a youthful. We cheated. So then she got killed by the cartel because they were expecting the child's kidneys. And it's all right. But that's so funny to be like, ah, she's pretty good. And you know what people do need? She makes sense. Kitchen, chicken catchatory. Yeah. Honestly, if someone was addicted to shit and then got their life and they looked really fucked up in the mug shot and they looked good now. Yeah. I think I, and they were great at the job. I do think you kind, if they looked exactly the same and they were being weird already, I'd be like, all right. Yeah. Sorry. But you know, people need second chances. Exactly. That's what I said. But they, but turn over a new leaf. But you're fine getting the, getting a text that the woman you're, that's in the home with your elderly father every day. Like this. That's not a great text to get for her. But anyway, we're turning to this guy's call. I would say, I would say, first of all, here's what's going on. Your sister is completely overwhelmed with how much it takes to care for an old person. And she's grasping its straws. And now she's like, fuck, how do I, I don't want to do this bullshit? Could we hire someone? I don't want to pay the money. And it's like, what about my brother, who my dad molested? What if I could guilt him into changing a diaper every once in a while so I could go to fucking Samba class or whatever the fuck. It's like right now, even like my mom is dealing with this with, you know, my grandma, she's old as fuck. And my mom has to be her care. Like, and I've even offered to be like, do you, my mom just doesn't want a random person in her house. She's like, look, I'm still young enough. I can still handle it. But I've offered like, we'll pay for somebody. Like we'll get somebody. And it's, I don't know. I guess my mom is just people get stuck in patterns that they just know. I might just have to force it on her this year. Because she cares after my nephew. Basically, her whole life has now become babysitter or babysitter of an old woman or a baby or a literal baby. Right. But it takes a lot. Like looking at, and I think America's real dude, we're going to be really fucked when all these fucking boomers, all these boomers keep voting to keep themselves healthy and have resources. And it's like, soon you're about to be so fucking old. You're going to, they're going to drain all the, they're going to have to sell those houses to get fucking around the clock care. This shit, it's, it's a lot. So I think what's going on here is your sister is up against the wall. Right. Needs help. No, your dad's a piece of shit. So no one, he doesn't have community or friends or you're this literal kid who doesn't want to see him. So who the fuck else is going to want to deal with his fuck like doesn't think the checks come due for pieces of shit. And this is coming due. And it would be nice if it only affected your dad, but it's clearly affecting your sister. I think ultimately, I don't know what your relationship is to your sister. I think it's pretty fucked up and manipulative of someone to try and force them to make amends with the person that abused them so badly that this guy said he moved out at 30. Yeah, where the fuck did you go? Yeah, I mean what the fuck are you talking about and also what the hell is this mom up to if it's fucking abusive dad Got custody that's fucking nuts, dude. They never give a fucking man custody his mom must have been a real fucking piece of shit Or I don't know dad or so. I don't know. Sorry. I don't know. I maybe something I'm my guess is tragedy You gotta bring the sister to his side and let this guy fucking rot. Yeah, I think I think the point is I don't know what is your sister a reasonable person. I don't know what the fuck's going on here What is true? It's not something that one person can take on and you're just gonna be scrambling for who else can I dump some of this shit out? Yeah, exactly exactly and but this is not You're a fucking issue. Yeah, like if you if you got lucky and that not even though you're a fucking 40 year old man now You're still the baby of the family. So do your you're fucking siblings like take care of most that other shit Or do you have to get in there? Yeah, now that he's he's he lives down in Maryland now like 15 minutes away from my brother He's out of the assisted living facility. So yeah, I mean I was visiting him every week while he was living with the convicted Sure she hadn't you know stole the hubcaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was I mean, that was like a two-year stint I was going to visit him every week. Oh, well, we've got it again in in Rockland County. Oh Yeah, it's not fun man. So yeah, that's my real the situation is your sister's desperate. This is a lot of work Yeah, and at the same time though I do empathize with her if it's if there's one person whose problem. This is not it's you Yeah, and listen if he if if your dad would say to you I Was a piece of shit. I'm really sorry. I fucked up so bad. I'd like for you to you know If he wasn't like I don't want you to help me I would just like to spend if your dad reshot just like I'm so sorry I'd love to be a part of your life in any capacity that's comfortable for you. It's totally up to you I realized I fucked up and oh by the way It will never make up for what I did, but he I want you to know that when I pass you get X amount of dollars And you have all if your dad did that and you had it in writing by the way that you're getting money because right now This poor bastard is being this gullible idiot Sorry, man. I don't think you're a gullible idiot. I think you're a gullible person who was abused and probably your pattern is sort of like Guilt is really working on you and your sister's king and on that and I think it's actually really cruel of her to do that She doesn't even he's like now she knows that if he was if she just appealed to a sense of justice He would never help if you fucking dickhead dad right and she probably knows that her dad is never gonna fully apologize So she has no way to like appeal to his like sense of wanting to reconcile so She knows the most powerful just like everything else This guy's material conditions You know and we had Jabuki on and he said you can either choose like dignity or money in capitalism And it's like that's what she's appealing to you now She's like, well, I know he's got loans and I'm gonna maybe he can trade his dignity even though he made a principal stand to get away from this abuser What if I pretended like he might pay his student loans off because you're fucking sister Your sister doesn't know it's in the will you don't even know so if I wouldn't even consider it unless I got a real number in writing and even then I think This money is not worth it. You don't know how much it is Maybe if it was a guaranteed huge lump sum maybe you don't even know it's in the will You don't you can't trust that that's what's gonna stay in the will these people go ahead all this you're Sharing up to say something. I'm just gonna say to 40,000 in debt sucks. That's a lot, but you know When's your dad gonna die first of all who knows how long this asshole's gonna be kicking and how long you might be on the hook And you know, just not feel good about it and never get an apology or anything from him, but also he said house split four ways Yeah, probate After after death is a fucking headache. Yeah, you get someone's gonna need to be like running around The lawyer the paper were you know the lawyer you buy to make to all the fees all this other shit If all we're talking about is a house dude for I would say for your soul if this was a hundred million dollars It's not worth it now. I'm also not picturing some like blue blood Palacial estate here Right away aluminum sighting split-level ranch split four ways listen You're not even gonna cover your 40 grand of course look look you're he's gonna cut you out of the world and we're talking about $800 dollars of horse cash if you know, we're talking about We're talking about some vintage moral burrow of merchandise Yeah, dude, you're being you're being manipulated. You're also gullible. You're falling into the same patterns that your abusive family I don't that you know if put you in this position Your sister is not who Decides whether you have to have a relationship with your dad or not. No you do And furthermore, your sister is not the person Who can convince you to I think if your dad made a real appeal to you and you felt like you wanted to Then you could do it, but this money this money is fake. You don't even have a number I think she's there's a chance. He's just straight up lying to you. You know what I mean? Yeah So don't fucking do call her bluff and see what she does be like okay, take me out Okay, and then be like that fucking molested me or hit me or whatever and You know she probably know at the very least I should fucking get this money. Yeah, if you want to take me out I don't give a fuck. I hate him. I hate him. He's a piece of shit. Yeah, make sure you got make sure you got home Homeowner's insurance torques the place with him in it. Yeah, two birds one stone. I like that a lot Yeah, committing shares for her and murder your father Now that's not our for legal reasons. That's not our official advice, but Consider all your options What a humorous a theoretical solution that a miracle humorous non will be crazy, right? It would be crazy to do Do not look up faulty wiring and the types of homes that your father lives in and we'll try and recreate it