Body By Berner founder Bernadette Fahey opens up about her business journey, the power of the mind, how she finds balance and so much more

Do you want better communication with your partner? This is the new couples journal from Selfdom and it is a fantastic way to instigate the conversations that you might not normally have with each other. Little things as simple as what are we doing well at the moment? What could we work on? What are ways that I could show you more love? These prompts help you dive into areas that lead to more connection, lead to better communication and lead to a better path forward together. If you want to work on communication with your partner, try the Selfdom couples journal today. You can use code selfdom for site-wide 20% off. Get your couples journal today at selfdom.au. The mind is so powerful and you have to be really careful about the office that you keep inside of it and just doing things that fill up your cup and just know that things are going to get hard but just trust the process because the universe always has you back and like the silver lining will come at the end. On today's episode, we have Bernadette Faye, the founder of Body by Bernadette. We go deep this episode. We both shed a tear. We talk about perseverance, the importance of PR and branding and balance. I really love this conversation with Bernie and I know you're going to love it too. Enjoy. Welcome back to another episode of Selfdom Beautiful Humans, a safe place to learn and get inspired to live your healthiest and most fulfilling life. I am Dom your host and I feel so grateful to be living my passion, getting to interview inspiring and knowledgeable guests. On today's episode, I have Bernie from Body by Bernadette. Bernie is such a close friend of mine and I truly believe it's a long time coming for us to do this podcast. I did my first ever event at her beautiful Bondi studio and she teaches some of the hardest Pilates classes I have ever done. So I would say Bernie isn't just an overnight success. She's put years and years of hard work into getting her brand name to where it is and this episode is going to be all about that. So without further ado, welcome. Thanks so much for having me. You are the Pilates teacher of the elite of Sydney. Yeah, thank you. You really have created a name for yourself. I wanted to talk about your journey. How did you create Body by Bernadette? How did you get the name? Just tell me from the start. Yeah, basically I was in Kolangata. Are you from the Gold Coast? No, I'm from Bondi but I was stuck in Kolangata during COVID and I lived in America before that. Came back to renew my visa and you know the whole world shut down and I thought you know what great I'm going to have some time with my mother. I'll go back over to America. I had a fiance at the time and got completely stuck and my whole life kind of blew up and at the time I was working in PR and was really burnt out of what I was doing and I was listening to a lot of podcasts from entrepreneurs and the common thing that kept coming up was find something that marries your passion and it's never going to feel like you're working a day in your life. Fast forward, my relationship ended. I decided to stay in Sydney in Australia and at the time I got really into online working out like a lot of people did during COVID and I was just running one day and meditating and it kind of just came to me to start my Pilates teacher training and that's where it kind of all began. I moved to Sydney from Kolangata. I went and found the best school which was Polestar Pilates. It was also internationally recognized because I didn't know if I'd moved back over to America and I went in every day for five months and got my mat and reformer. I did my teacher training and from there passed my exams and then went through and worked my way through all of Sydney's top studios. I started in a tiny studio in the inner west because I was so scared to get up in front of people and teach. It was a total new skill for me and bit by bit, month by month, I just gained more confidence and then I started my own personal home studio and just slowly started inviting people to come for free. I think that's how I met and it was so picturesque and beautiful. It was right on Tamarama and there was this transition where I was getting so busy at home and then I stopped working at studios and that's kind of how Body by Burner was just like my personal kind of Pilates teaching name came about and then I had to move out of my home and then found the beautiful studio in Bondi where I now am. I think that's so inspiring that you had a complete different career path and then jumped into a new career path because so many people even on a small scale do a uni degree and they're scared to try something else because they're like I've invested four years of time and money into something else but now you're living and breathing your passion and it's so inspiring to see you do what you're doing and to see how far you've come. I wanted to ask you've obviously got the PR background how much has that helped with you kind of navigating Body by Burner? I think in a real in a big way it has but the biggest thing and when I got this question from you I was thinking about it over this week and the biggest thing that's helped me is my ability to connect with people and make people feel good and I think when you have a great product and you can do that when you're delivering an incredible class but also allow someone to walk away and feel like you know what like I've got this I can do it that's where my success have been and I guess PR has been a byproduct of a really good product. Yeah I 100% agree like your classes are incredible and they're unique and they're different and they're Body by Burner. You know it is a Pilates class but you've got your you elements to it you've got your stick there and you know now you've got a bunch of teachers who you know work so well in the studio what do you kind of look for when you're hiring people for the studio now that you're you know you don't need to teach every class yourself and it's really funny going from that transition and it wasn't too long ago that I myself was sitting in that spot auditioning to go and be at a studio to work at a studio. I go off feeling it's how when I meet someone right away they're looking at me in the eye they like are they confident that's a big thing because if I want people in my instructors at my studio to make the clients feel comfortable and then from there it's you know just seeing how they you know what their teaching style and all of that is but it's definitely like I go based off my intuition. Yeah that's really interesting because some people have 10 years experience versus some people have one year's experience but it's again it's that connection it's what you found worked for you with your ability to grow your business now you're looking for it in the people you hire. Yeah and I also know like when you know when you're in a new space and when you're auditioning for someone new like nerves obviously come into play and it wasn't too long ago that I was that person and I just if someone's nervous it's okay I find it's like my job to make them feel comfortable and just see kind of how they go from there. Yeah well I definitely think Bernie you are your own brand it's obviously called body by burner I wanted to talk about your view on being the face of a brand how important do you think it is in the wellness space do you think it gives you an edge? I think it's like a double-edged thing when I started body by burner it was me working out of my home in Tamarama I wasn't at that stage ever thinking that I was going to have a studio I kind of just wanted to build up myself and then when I moved into the Bondi studio I had an opportunity then to either step away from it but it kind of the press was already out there my name was already out there so I had no choice. You see people like Tracy Anderson I mean she's got studios across the US and other classes I don't like it's hard because people would want Tracy but then I think your brand gets so big that it grows outside of you I think it's a double-edged sword like there's some really great benefits to it but then it's like you know people want to come in and they want body by burner and it's like I've only got a finite amount of time in each day yeah I feel like every time I see you we have a conversation and we're just like fuck when you burn out like we're literally like the burn is burning out the burn is burning out you want to give your time to everyone and you're so welcoming to so many brands to the studio it's it is the most aesthetic studio I have ever ever seen so you know I'm so grateful that I got to have that event at your studio so I understand that double-edged sword thing because it's like you are your brand but as you progress there's only so much time you have and you need to look after yourself and your mental health which has me wanting to talk to you about kind of the highs and lows with business I do believe a lot of the self-dom community are in the wellness space they maybe would want to open a studio or some sort of oh they want to become a practitioner can you be would you be honest and open with us about kind of what happened at the start was trying to open body by burner we've spoken about it off mic before yeah I'm like I think yeah I'm so happy to go down that and share when I was living in Tamarama and ran my studio from there I felt like I was and it's so funny even now like choking up I can feel my you know my heart and like my body seizing just just like going back and thinking about that time but I can't I wrapped my identity way too much in being the girl that lived in this beautiful apartment overlooking Tamarama and that Pilate body by burner that's what I thought it was and then things happen with my family where I had to move out and at the time I was like well what am I gonna do where's my place of employment going to be like how am I going to do this and it was I was so stressed out and I remember thinking like I just want to die you know you know and it's like the more people that I talked to about it they're like I felt like that as well and it's like so hard to go through it because I think so many people look at me and they're like you know that's like you have it all or whatever but it was like such a tough time in my life and I think you just like my friends were so amazing and you just have to like kind of like just it just like keep going and it's so funny because I remember people said to me like hard things happen and I'm like such living proof of it that you just have to trust the process because then at the end it's like I found this like dream studio that I couldn't even believe and my business and everything's grown to be so bigger yeah you know like through that and I think now what I've learned from that situation is the mind is so important like it's so powerful and you have to be really careful about the office that you keep inside of it and just doing things that fill up your cup and and just know that like things are going to get hard but just trust the process because the universe always has you back and like the silver lining will come at the end you know yeah and I think as well it's so important to share those vulnerabilities because everyone posts a highlight reel yeah no one sees that and I and I like even it's so funny because in the shit times and like you know like I'm if you see my social media you'll see me at an event but like the next day like I'm grinding it at the studio at 5 a.m and like it's like that those things you don't see and I guess it's like we're just so busy to show that but yeah like it's really tough and then even when I opened the studio and everything was going well like it's been amazing but it's still so intense you know yeah well you talk about mindset and I love you said something about you have to look after the office in your mind I love that so much I've been to your classes and you always put peppermint oil on our wrists we take some big inhales exhales the mind is such a big part of the practice yeah how do you incorporate that into your own daily life now coming through the other end of those challenging times I have learned not to overwork myself I went to a retreat earlier this year and I set out a whole bunch of goals and I think on one side it was so to get my business where I have in the last few years I needed to work hard but I think you just you can't do it at this state of totally burning yourself out because if you don't have a full cup then it's there's nothing to give so for me it's definitely not overworking I have to exercise every day when I was working at Tamron didn't have a team all I was doing was taking care of everyone else and working out and I've learnt like my aesthetic and my body is my brand I have to exercise and feel good and meditating is such a big thing and I think so many people unless you've done a course or have a bit more understanding of it it seems so unachievable and like such this like idealistic thing but I think if you understand kind of like how the mind wanders and allow that you find like a great deal of like peace and like yeah that meditating really helps me and I've recently been doing float tanks as well yeah oh my god I'm obsessed with that it's just did I tell you about um maybe the city city gave me a message that the only thing is my bloody hair I need to get a haircut for it because my hair just gets from all of the salts and stuff oh my god and if you don't rinse properly you get like white all over you and then I got into my car the other day and there was like bloody crystals all day yeah yeah yeah yeah cool yeah yeah yeah so with your classes as I mentioned there's always an aspect of mindfulness yeah when you hire trainers is that something you teach or something you really encourage them to always include yes for sure and I think there's like different people and different people have different levels of spirituality and I never want I don't want to have a studio or be that kind of boss that is like you need to be like me like I think everyone I want everyone's personality to flourish I think you know definitely having the bookend things of the peppermint oil that I start and the beautiful beyond words cards that have like a little illustration and a quote from um have a quote those two bookend things are in a class but how it's delivered I leave it up to the instructors because you know not everyone's not not confidence all right not everyone um is spiritual and that's okay you know and it's like just being accepting of everyone and like for my teachers that aren't I just say honest just say it's great for the nervous system take a few breaths yeah you know or the woo-woo ones can go a little deeper well I think it's so important like when I notice how I enter a studio versus how I walk out it's those three breaths at the end that just solidify and cement the practice so much I find it really important and I have every class I've done you know as you said there's those few things that are non-negotiables and I love that because that's when you know you're entering the body by burner space yeah and I think it's good it's your brand and it's it's something that all the teachers can incorporate and it's it's a beautiful way to start yeah and I think that's like when maybe thinking about breath because fitness and Pilates is so broad there's so much competition out there it's like having those few little touch points that are unique that's when I opened the studio like I'd always had done that before but I I made it like a non-negotiable that you know so it all feels like very body by burner and I'm sure well actually I'm not sure you might relate to this or not but me five years ago I didn't have any time for mindfulness I would probably leave before the stretching I've got to go I've got to get my steps I've got to do this my cortisol was always through the roof so now seeing you know a studio where these elite Sydney people come everyone when I go into your studio everyone's beautiful and you know I think it's important even if it's forced on them to just take those deep breaths because that might be the first step for them to be like okay actually I feel calmer yeah maybe I will try meditation maybe I will do the breathwork session whatever it may be I think even if the first reason they start an element of mindfulness is like forced it could be the catalyst for something so much greater and it creates a ripple effect within the area and I think it's so important well I remember when I was living in my early 20s in New York and you know I didn't have meditation or those mindfulness tools but I did have a gym membership and I would go and do a lot of yoga classes and this always stuck out to me and I've all I think it's always been a way that I try to teach a class the teacher said to me said to us all how you show up on your mat is how you show up in your life and how that kind of translates is like you're in these like difficult poses if you can learn to just breathe through that and just like kind of witness the sensations because shit's always going to come up and just breathe like it's you know and like I remember like things would come up outside of the mat in the world and I'd be like okay like I've got this like I could do that really hard pose I can breathe now and yeah yeah and I think it's so important to realize that yeah that little movement you do on those mat if you do one extra pulse when you thought you were going to give up you realize cognitively that you're stronger than you thought you were a hundred percent and you like and that's what I find so interesting about training people is just to get them like you know like you're feeling like okay like I can do I'm like I'm worthy and I can manifest you know my highest dreams and I'm going to get it hmm well I wanted to touch on your retreats we were talking a little bit off mic yeah what does a burning retreat look like what what would the schedule kind of well I think the overarching theme for the retreats is giving you tools for how you can for tools for how you can not burn out in your everyday life to kind of just like disconnect and just have like add this little tool belt to your you know repertoire for living a better life the retreat schedule will start with a morning fitness class by me a beautiful breakfast all of the food is organic and made by chefs and then it will go into a mindfulness workshop such as like a little manifestation thing or yeah manifestation something like that and then some free time into lunch and then between in the afternoon there'll be the opportunity to have incredible therapies I've created an amazing list of kinesiologists fortune tellers massage therapists there'll be a little afternoon activity a stretch in the evening and then dinner and a sound bath healing yeah oh my god that sounds like heavy yeah I wanted to ask if someone couldn't financially afford to do a retreat yeah what are some simple takeaways that they could use to prevent burnout meditation is comes up again and again yeah and if that's something if you're if you've got like an adversity to it and you're like no I don't want to like don't do it like just if it's meant to come to you and you do it it will don't stress yourself out to do it other things that you can do is simply putting your feet in the sand putting your feet on grass walking around and just being in nature is like there's like energy and vibration like that is such a big thing breath work you know like a simple box breath five breaths in hold five breaths out hold and just repeating that could be writing three things down that you're grateful for taking note of things that make you laugh like just just taking a moment to not be a human doing to be a human being and like feel into your heart space yeah just notice how lucky we are I think it's so important to notice as well because I think people would see on your Instagram and you know you have all these beautiful people come in who have maybe designer products but and I know what it's so like it really it's like this because I think I'm a bit of a dichotomy in myself I see that in you I love like designer things and but I'm also really spiritual and it really doesn't matter to me at the end of the day but it's like this push-pull and I think it's so sad to me that people feel like that because I really don't want to create a space that's like that I think it's just the area as well you know or maybe it's just like yeah because I hear from some mums they're like oh I could never go in there and it's like if you see you know my mom came in yeah like there's not everyone is designer but also I also think like how awesome that I've created a space that people want to come in in their best outfits and like energy like if you care about your appearance like whatever it is like there's nothing wrong with money either no and it's an abundant thing you know I think like that's the standpoint that I come from but it is something that I grapple with but I'm like that's kind of me like and some a lot of my clients love that you know it's like there's that spiritual side but there's also a bit of designer handbags on it but I think it's okay to have that dichotomy and I think a lot of people like you have to have one thing and run with it but it's not true I think everyone is so has so many different layers to them and even when you were talking about that challenging time and how you got out of it it was like the meditation the movement it's all these things those five things you just said were all free yeah like your biggest wellness tips are free and anyone can do it but you've also created a beautiful space that allows all to come yeah and yeah I mean even for me sometimes I'm like oh maybe I'll look a little bit nice because I'm going in there but I kind of love that about your studio and I think yeah people will always say that different trainers who have come on they always say different things like oh some people think I only train models or something but again social media is one little thing that you post yeah you also always post yourself in the funniest moments like with your tan on and like you're just I feel like you're a designer but you're so like just a silly silly human yeah but I'm just like trying to bloody like do it all like build a bloody business and like still have some fun on the side but like if sometimes I got to like train someone in a tan and pyjamas like that's what I have to do and like you know what I run my own business so I can't like and I'm kind of a bit unapologetic about it too I wanted to ask though with the you've had some viral videos did you see a correlation with those videos going viral and getting more people come in um yeah and like I I always ask like when there's new faces I'm so I'm so intrigued like how they not found out about the studio a lot of girls say tiktok and Instagram like I'm and also like people from America have come in they're like oh my gosh I can't believe I'm in body by burn I like I've like seen this on Instagram it's like so yeah and then like Rita aura came a few weeks when I opened and she posted on a social and that kind of just like like people love celebrities wow yeah and I think it's important to realize as you said a hundred times you love movement you love breathwork all these things but you're a business owner like you need to do what you need to do to get people through the doors then like so you can pay your bills and like get through yeah and it's yeah I think like social media is such an incredible way um for me to market my business and that's how I've I think that's been me harnessing that tool of it has been like the biggest driver of business outside of word of mouth of people saying you know it's like a great workout she's incredible yeah I think it's important well we always see each other at events I think we always like bump into each other we have like a few words here and there how do you find balance with that because as you said you're in the studio the next day at 5 30 a.m like how do you do it well in my earlier like a few about a year or two ago I was really working to get my name out there and at events events were a really great way for me to pick up clients so I would basically go to anything I was invited to and then now um I just I'm I'm like less is more it's too much for me and I've learned like where my energy levels are like a few um you know even a year and a half ago and this is maybe a little bit more directed to instructors like I would want to teach 10 sessions a day and be like amazing I'm going to make all this money and now I'm like I will not do more than three or four because I am exhausted so with events I just I pick and choose what I love but yes like it is challenging sometimes if I'm out at 10 o'clock at night and then I've got to be up at five like but I guess it's all just within the job and that's what you got to do and just find your times when you can have a bit more downtime I wanted to ask if you are someone going to these events say you're new to becoming a Pilates instructor or someone trying to do social media and they go how does it go from going to the events to working with the brand um so whenever I'd go to an event one of my tactics yes we're getting the tea I would always wear I guess I'm like pretty known for wearing like raunchy outfits yeah she's in the go daily mail that show off my body so I'd always kind of like you know like feel fab I mean you are your brand I keep saying it again and again but like it's part of it yeah so I would go and then I will always find out who the PR person is who the brand person is and I will just go up and introduce myself um and you know talk to them and when it was me working at studios I'd just be like you know I'm a you know like just start from there then I would invite them to come and do a session with me because I think I have a very unique way of teaching and I can really um it shines through so I remember with Swiss vitamins I went to an event and cancelled like a shift that I had that I was getting paid for because I knew I want to work with Swiss went up and met the PR team messaged them right away and said hey please come and do a session with me trained them for free at my studio and then it ended up being work I also have trained a number of PR agencies and then they have all the connections to the brand so a lot of things came through that as well but it's like sometimes you're not going to get paid for things you have to just put yourself out there and that's been like a really big driver and it's great because now you're in a position where you don't need to go to everything like you've done the hard work you've done the hard yards but I think it's important there still is like yes but yeah I think though it's important to recognize that you have to be working for yourself no one's going to work harder for you than you if you want to work with those brands like talk to those people don't just go to the event yeah we're not getting paid to go to those events make those events work for you yeah or if it was like you know a great model like I remember one of my girlfriends went on a trip and I'm like who is that dumb like she's gorgeous I have to train her and then you know I'm like oh will you introduce us and she's like yeah yeah I didn't know this yeah she's like so nice she'll definitely let you train her and I was like oh cool and then I saw your November and I was like hey I'm Bernie this is gonna sound so weird but like I'm a trait like that's what I do and like models I'd be like look like hey like this is weird but like I want to train you and then it would just yeah kind of like you know and every yeah I think that's awesome advice though because I think no one knows everyone sees the sparkling lights and you killing it they don't know how you got that yeah it was a lot of bloody free sessions and like it still is you know like but it's worth it you know now you can only now you give it knowing it's worth it yeah and I think like it's sad to me now that I like don't have that time like I used to because I loved it like I loved it was so great and we like create like the funnest content and like it's a bit of you know it's I don't have that time like I used to but I think it's you're not going to get paid for everything you've got to like just put and like call out to the like this is what I want like yeah I just I see things I'm like I'm gonna get like the cover of body and soul one day I know I will like that's it's like those things you know yeah I'm just like yep I know I'm gonna be on national TV I was on the today show last year like I just yeah is that yeah is that something that you do every day or every week or every month to manifest um I would love like I wish I could say I do you probably do it subconsciously you know what I mean like I feel the way you're going I will yeah you already know it so you're doing something up there that's making you yeah just believe in yourself yeah I guess I do like I just hold myself to a high standard and I really like I'm like fuck yeah I'm gonna do this like I just know sorry to swear no no I swear all the time so when it comes to comparison being a business owner and seeing other Pilates teachers I want to speak about how do you stand your own lane oh that is on an even like different Pilates studios too and it was also like so hard you got copied like you got proper copied I mean that is I look at that like as a compliment and that's okay um I remember last year when I was moving out of Tamarama and I was like homeless trying to set up a studio and this is like dark side but this girl in Dubai had copied me um with like a concept for a studio name that I wanted and was like kind of copying the um the content of the designer bags and you know my body was like painted on something similar onto the walls and I like blew up and went crazy on Instagram and I learnt so much from that because I think whenever you've got like really intense views like strong views on Instagram or in general you're going to get people that really love you and people that really fight against you and it taught me to not you know like you just let people be if that that is in her world that she can't come up with a unique idea like just take it as a compliment don't you know don't lose spit the dummy on it and then how about with comparing yourself to other instructors or studios because it is a quite a popular spec yeah it's like I would it's just like how did I open a studio in Bondi like there is so much competition again it goes back to that thing of abundance and just like trusting that like there's enough business for everyone just like don't once you start coming from this scarcity mindset that's all the energy that you're pulling in um some studios on my Instagram if I followed them from before I wouldn't never like just unfollow them but I just mute them because I kind of prefer not to see what's going on if anyone triggers me again I just mute them and like send them love but like it's just best like just keep your like tunnel vision on what you're going on and just wish everyone the best success yeah I think it's great advice because social media is a scary place but the great thing is is you can kind of control it if you want to yeah there is a mute button there no one needs to know that you unfollowed them you need to be aware in yourself of what triggers you and what will impact you and then go with what works for you so I think that's that's amazing advice and I also think that we need to be teaching us more that there is enough success for everyone yeah everyone is so scarcity mindset I really feel like in Australia and Sydney specifically there's like a tall poppy syndrome situation happening here but there is so much success and abundance for everyone 100% and I think like if you're ever feeling and like this is if I ever have like these like um big reactions or like I'm like about someone I'm like hey B why we're feeling like this so it's like down like let's unpack this like that's about you it's not about them you know and I think like wish everyone well like it's all fine like look how many beauty brands there are there's enough money in this world like we can all live and succeed yeah I think it's it's just so important to recognize and I love that what you're doing as well understand your own lane and and it's worked for you yeah no one does what you do and yeah does it how you do it and it's worked for you yeah and like me opening body by burner didn't burn down any of the studios that I worked at my business is successful and flourishing similarly anyone else that opens up like I would hate it if it was office at me but you know yeah it is what it is yeah yeah well I always end the podcast with the same question yeah I always ask what advice would you give your youngest self I think probably just trust the process um and just just breathe honestly it's like we're so wound up and even like today you know when we're talking about that a few years ago about me stressing out about leaving a bloody apartment and wanting to end my life over that like look at where I've cut like it all works out like just relax you know I think we all need to stop taking life so seriously like it's like what life's meant to be fun it's meant to be light and yeah I feel like the piece of advice you're giving is super common and it's something that we all similarly struggle with yeah so it's really important yeah well Bernie thank you for coming on thank you for having me we shed a little tear we laughed we did it all um make sure you're following @bodybyburner and @burnadette.fe she posts the best reels that are inspiring but also hilarious so yeah if you guys go to the studio make sure you tag us so we can see and I will see you on the next episode