Bobby's Moana Birthday! w/ Stavros Halkias

It doesn't go on your head. It goes over your right shoulder Everything has to be ninja with you. I actually think that looks awesome. It's right. Moana the Japanese soldier The tail they haven't told you the Japanese Moana soldier. I haven't told this tail yet with drunk Tommy Lee I don't know drunk Tommy Lee was with us Asian YouTube are disgusting Friends, can I say except you welcome for the tides the sun the sky? Hey, it's okay. It's okay Welcome Ordinary demigoy Okay, I can't give a shot. That's the chorus hey Hey, what's hot? Hey, what has two thumbs and pulled up the sky? When you're way to Ling. Yeah, hi When you're really bad Really bad this guy when the night's got cold Who stole you fire from down below? I got it. What are you doing? Do you think you got it? That's the song. No, yeah, no, it sounded actually perfect. Okay, so I don't know whose choice was this more honorable? It's my birthday. I get what we're doing happy birthday. What can I say except happy birthday to a sweet little Chinese boy? Yeah, what can I say to you except do this happy birthday do this and then do this that's drunk Tommy Lee This is from a fan happy birthday Look at that. Did you see what I just run the table? Happy birthday. That's from a fan. That is - thank you Thank you. You got two of them here. Yeah, these are have been here. No, we just got these have been in the I've seen this in the in the studio before we literally just got them so today my girlfriend Said that I have a disease Which one Marcelo Hernandez just texted me it called me if I could call him back sure. Give him a ring. All right It's your birthday, man. You want to do whatever you want on your birthday? You got telling me on the show Congratulations, but are you above us because you're on the bad friends with Andrew right now? Oh, no. Yes, say something. Hey, man. Hey, man. Well, I love Andrew Andrew is just a great guy and honestly Bobby, how often do you say thank you to Andrew for making your career? What can I say except your well? Oh my god It's my birthday Oh my god Bobby. It's your birthday. How do you know 69? I Recall it you Marcelo her not know Oh my god listen, Bobby. What do you want? What do you need? I could say any of you want baby? You want black market? I'll pose you. What do you want on on on Saturday? I'm doing a show in like a cool place in LA, and I was wondering if you could wait tables for it You know what I'm gonna hang up now I'm gonna hang up now on you. I love you Bobby. I love you. I Just want to say when the whole industry stop Bobby was finished. Thank you for thinking a chance on him. Thank you I appreciate it Okay, we love that kid. He's fantastic. He's on your side every time. He's the man. All right So I'm gonna tell you what I have what hey what do you got your disease is now your girlfriend says you have a couple of diseases I want disease only one no only one that's verified this is a true one though, and I regret to have it and I don't want it, but I think I have it. It's got a HPV. No, that's not HPV. What is it? First of all, can I just say something about my sexual juices? What are your sexual juices? What do you mean the pure hmm pure okay? No go to my doctor Check my juices. I gotta go to your doctor. You go to a guy at a Korean spa and he's your dog I know, but he has juice machine everything look good. He does blood work That's all he says he looks at what I have. What do you have God dude? Shodden Freud Shodden Freud. Yeah, you're Shodden Freud. Yeah. What is it? Shodden Freud is when you're when you love the demise of others Here's a why it's feeling joy or satisfaction when you get something bad happens to another person. I know what Shodden Freud is So there's this one game it was Germany versus Brazil So Shodden Freud was very appropriate there. Yes. Yeah, it was 2014 I believe and they beat Germany no Germany beat Brazil. I think seven one mm-hmm, and There's always in the if you see the highlights. They always cut to a kid Who's in a Brazilian jersey? He's crying and he's crying so deeply bringing up I watch that video all the time because when I see the kid cry it makes me laugh And is that Shodden Freud? It's pretty on the nose. He's a jerk. He's a Brazilian fan. Yeah Shodden freinders. This is great. We watch a little boy cry. It's a stands. It's kid I have Shodden Freud dude Dude this I mean that's dark to laugh at that poor kid. I know, but they lost seven one four to zero right there That's when they were at four zero. Oh It got worse and worse and worse. Is that sketch? And it just grew up to be sketch but anyway, um, I have Shodden Freud. I do it because I You're never because you're not whole. No, that that's not why it's I'll watch like Tottenham Like they lost today, and I'll watch like reaction Videos of Tottenham fans watching the game and then being devastated when they're getting scored on it It brings me joy. What about when people watch you when Arsenal loses Arsenal doesn't lose we don't lose Well, that's the problem. So no one gets to do that to you because even when we lose we win. No, right of course because you're Arsenal No, because we tried our best So so stupid. Yeah, we gave it 100% out there effort You can tell it on the pitch the sweat the tears the blood the blood The blood it runs through the stone Well, I want to say and that's the street isn't what they're talking about stone street Eric stone street it By the way, can I just say something about Eric Stone Street? Yeah, fuck that guy. Okay. Why because he called me is like why weren't you at the wedding? What wedding He goes I hung out with your friend Andrew at the wedding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, he's the man. Why would he call me to rub that in my face? Because that's funny that shot in front of bitch That's right in front of my face. That's a little case of your eyes Oh, shit, and then you guys feel the glee. Yeah, then he called me and he's like, dude I bullied Bobby about that and I was like, yeah, fuck him and he was like yeah, he stinks. Yeah Well, can I say except you're welcome? Yeah, go back to the lyrics. Hey happy birth No, happy birthday, go get happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Bobby Happy birthday to you so I wanted to do it like Travis Scott in Odyssey happy birthday to you happy birthday to you Bobby Yeah, pop up. Hey, yeah, yeah, you loved it. No, I love the movie. I didn't like that. So oh ghetto fucking banana cake, okay Banana bread from a ghetto place. Where's this place from? That's vans, I think Ralph's Ralph's. Yeah, I even worse you couldn't go to like Air one. No, dude. They didn't have it at air one. He's coconut. He said he bought it air one They're coconuts are for marijuana. Wait. Did you make a wish? I did did it come true. You're still alive, are you? Yeah, I'm kidding. I love you. No, that'll be funny. That's not funny. No, that's funny. No, it's my birthday Yeah, it should be nice. You should talk about what you're grateful for so would you think of the Odyssey better than Wana finally? No, that man is number one. You never saw Moana, dude. This is what can I say you're welcome for the sun the sky and the birds What can I say except do you welcome it's not you're a silly little Korean turd. You don't even know We were talking about the storyline. You had no idea what the story is. I do she saves this see Seasaw saver. She's the see saver. Have a see saver. By the way, now we got a love a love from Hawaii. Now they're gonna be mad at us And not want us to go why because we're now we're all about Moana now. It's not a Hawaii. It's more on a set in Hawaii It's not it's it's it's in the Pacific Islands But where is more upset tell me it's not in Hawaii. It's in the South Pacific then who gives a fuck has nothing to do with them and matters The Hawaiians matter Hawaiian lives matter and no, I believe no, I'm number one. Bobby. It's anti-Hawaiian. Do what a Hawaiian is being kicked I kicked back for the person that kicked the Hawaiian who's kicking the Hawaiians man I know who's to kick in the Hawaiians, but if somebody kicked the Hawaiian, I just better cut it out Who's out the kick in the Hawaiian? Yeah, they're laying down relaxing drinking their asai juice What are you drinking that little mini-can? Is that is that just oh my dear bubbly water? Oh, it was poached and under the bridge so scared Oh my little Moana Oh my little little dandelion. I'm very nice to see you. Oh see Grossy, we gotta commit you to a psychic. It was very nice to see you Good evening. Do you think that's what Moana sounds like? Yes, I'm Moana King the Queen of the sea I saved the sea. It's like a Moana was played by Natasha Lajero. Yeah My darling. My darling. Oh my god. My darling. Welcome to my island What are you gonna do when I'm gone in Atlanta shooting? What's what's gonna be going on? What's your plan? He has to go on the road Oh, you're going back on the road? - We're gonna go back on the road, young man. - Hello. - I think you're getting nervous. He's getting nervous. - How about what? - A lot of stuff. You got a lot coming up back on the road, specials coming out. - I'm nervous, what's gonna happen? - I don't know. - It's fun. - Moana went to, you know, Godzilla minus one, and somehow. - We merged. - Yes. - You think that that's what it is? (laughing) - You think we were watching Moana in all of a sudden Godzilla minus one happened? - I mean, be cool, cool combo. - That's a great combo. - And put jaws in it. - Yeah, why not? - You might as well put all the sea elements in it. (laughing) - What, that? - Lachness. - Lachness. - Lachness? - Lachness. - And he's the wheeler. - The mag. - The mag. - The mag, felps. - The mag, felps has to be in it. - He's fighting, fighting jaws. - King human version of whatever that is. - Whatever that is we need in the water, he is. - Yeah, we need that. - The pirates of the Caribbean. - What are you doing for your birthday? Is anything special happening? You guys are gonna be on the fucking road for your birthday. - Yeah, he's flying to Portland. - So dumb. - So you and Carlos are gonna have a birthday night together. - No, he's flying alone. - No, in Hawaii the night, so what happens is on the 16th, if you're in Hawaii, come check it out. But on the 16th, I have a show, I believe on the 16th. (laughing) - September 12th? - Okay, so on the 16th, I had already done my show. - The Adam is playing the blue note, Adam, right? - Yeah. - So I'm gonna have dinner with him. It works out, we're on the 16th, I get to have dinner with Adam, right? - That's great. - He's your birthday boy. - I'm gonna have him. - You're gonna have your little birthday because you got to get it with Adam. That's right, actually, very good. - You're supposed to be there, but you're disappointed. - I gotta go shoot a movie. - Congratulations. - Thanks. - It really, I'm super happy for you. (laughing) - You seem like it. - Congratulations. - Hey man, it's not tires when I'm trying, you know? - Don't, I know it was terrible on that show. - Now you're very good, we told you you were very good on that. - Yeah, that's coming from your mouth. You're not a truth. Sometimes you'll say, I did a good job or something. - When I told you you did a good job but you didn't do a good job. There's nothing you've done. - Some shows. - Borderlands. - You did a bad job and the movie was bad. Two for two. (laughing) The movie was almost unreleasable. - Yeah. (laughing) - Can I take my bandana off? - No. - Throwing me off. - No, it's awesome. - It's literally throwing me off. - You look good, we'll put it over you shoulder like a sash, that's what she has. - Okay. - Cute. (laughing) - You honestly would be a cute little Korean girl. - Hi. - Hi. - I'm Aura. - Oh, hi Aura. - You see my beach. - Oh, this is your, I'm in your village? - Welcome to my beach. - Thank you. - Yeah. - Do you want bok bok? - Oh, I love a bok bok. - Yeah, how many bok bok do you want? - How many usually fills up a man in my side? - 15. - Oh, I'll take for you. - A dozen plus three. - Aftok toks. - Okay. - Okay. - Right, he's coming. - Don't talk about making. - Oh, it's a lot of makings. - Do you want? - I love yes. - Come get. - Here you go eat. - Thank you. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm sorry. - Chucky, huh? - Yeah, well it's in this. - Huh? - Well it is, you know the dead toads on the riverbank? - Oh, is that dead toad riverbank? - You know the famous, by the beach. - Yes. - Oh, bad girl. - Will go. - I love how he's like, I didn't want to get in costume. He's so in character. (laughing) - How was you talk toks? - It was delicious. Thank you for your hospitality. I must be gone my way. - You know? - No, I have to leave. - You need to penetrate me. - No, please God, no. - Please, no. - Please don't punish me. The food was bad enough. - I need to be penetrated out. - I don't want to. - All right, so for my birthday I want a special person here. - Yeah, well, we got you- - I want to manifest him. - Well, I want to manifest him. - No, okay, let's see. - And the only way we can manifest him is to do our tribal music. - Oh, please, do our tribal song. (shouting in foreign language) (shouting in foreign language) (shouting in foreign language) - What the fuck? I was just on my couch watching 30 rocks. - I know. - I was in New York. (shouting in foreign language) - What did you do? - Okay. - What the fuck? What am I wearing? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Are these the sexual desires of a miniscule Korean man? Are these specific desires? That's what it feels like. A diminutive Koreans, deep, most deep-seated sexual fantasy on his birthday. This is what I've been transported to Los Angeles for. - Happy birthday, Bob. - Oh my God. - You think I would manifest a bird of paradise, a fat one? - I don't know. - Okay. - I said I was a fat bird of paradise. That's what I desired, not a hot chick. You piece of shit. - You did it up to my fuck. - You did it. - You did it. - You did it. - It was yourself. - You're supposed to be a manifest now for the paradise. - Now look at it. - I was in New York, but I feel like what you said was, let me manifest my deepest desire. - That is what he said. - I want a special person. It's exactly what I want. - For better. - Yeah, how you doin'? - I wish it was a hot chick too, huh? - Yeah. - I have the fuck I'm gonna get home. - So what can you sing me home back to New York? - No, no, no, you stay here. - Fuck, dude, you're here the whole time. - Well, luckily Uncle Stav is on Netflix September 8th. Please listen to it. So the timing actually worked out really well. I said, listen to it. Please watch it. - Can I just watch Uncle Stav and I ask you a question? - Sure. - Stavros is here, ladies and gentlemen. - Hi, hello. - Hello. - All right, can I ask you a question? - Yes. - Yeah. - And I hate to be confrontational. - Oh, no, you love it. Something about our, I don't understand why this is our relationship 'cause I love you. I have nothing but this. - I love you so much. - Yes, what, dude. It's like this with him with everybody. He's confrontational with every single human that sits in that chair. And they go, "What is it about?" Marcelo Hernandez called 15 minutes ago. And he was like, "Fuck you, Bobby." - Oh, is he even little sexy guys? - Yeah, even sexy guys can't stand it. - 'Cause for me, there's something he's mad I'm fat and I don't hate myself. That's really what it, at the core is what Bobby's problem with me is. - Well, he got off GLP1, he's back. - Oh, you're back? - Look at his stomach, show him your stomach. You look great. I said he needed to get on GLP2 or 3. It didn't work, it was not good enough. You look great. You don't need to do anything. - All right, so, fuck you. Dude, watching him put that on and have his shirt off again, it made me, I was so happy to see him. - Why, what, let me see. - 'Cause he got fat again. - He is not fat, he looks great. - No, no, he's, well, yeah, he looks great, but he's still got, he got fat again. - Let's see your titties. - Show him. - Awesome, not bad. - Go down. - Well, dude, for your age, you look great. - Disney, myself. - Oh, he's, oh, he's straight. - You're not miked, by the way. Just, it is your podcast, so I'm just letting you know. - That's fine. - Soldier, the no cause. - I'm gonna have to say what he's saying. - Coco, yeah, this is character little no, Coco. Yeah, she's sweet little Korean girl. - Hi. - Go sit down. - Okay, yes, see. - Billy's not bad, Billy's not bad at all. - It's not, but it was way, way better. - No, he looked great, Bob. - This guy's trying to drag you down. - They need to keep you just miserable enough so you don't improve your life. - Correct. - But like, not so miserable that you kill yourself. So that's kind of the, the- - I think that's what's going on. - They have you trapped. - They have me trapped. - I'm here. - I'm the one who cares about you. - Okay, I know. - Only me. - He doesn't have to oppress me. - You exactly what he's saying. He has a polyside degree. He's gonna manipulate you into fucking thinking. - No, this is happening. - It's an internment. - He knows it, he knows fucking. - He knows his history. - This is fucking Emperor Hiroito right here. - Yeah, Emperor Hiroito, you're a fucking comment dude. - He's your son. (laughing) - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's the reincarnation of the Emperor, dude. - Hello. - Hello. - This is Teddy Roosevelt. - That's right. - I don't know. - Hello, Emperor Hiroito. Teddy Roosevelt. - How you doing? - Is it Franklin? - He's Cousin, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, eh. - That's how he's Cousin. - That's yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm fucking Frankie Delano. - Oh my fucking wife's a lesbian. She's my cousin. (laughing) - That is how he was. - You're not doing the-- - His wife was, his cousin who was a lesbian. - His first cousin. - I don't remember his first or second. - Blood matters if it's blood is different. - Can I tell you the honest? - Do you have any hot cousins? - Okay. - Oh no. I don't. - I have one. - He does. - Oh really? - I mean, they're not. They're good looking. I just don't want to fuck my cousins. - I want to be honest with-- - We're telling our fans. - That was for a second. - Please. - And let me ask you about a relationship. Number one. - Okay. - A, just in general. - Is it different in club environment? Like, if I see you at a club, a comedy club, yeah. How do I treat you? - Me and you? - Oh, he's saying his behavior different. - I want to talk about our behavior so I can correct it. - Arby, no, I think you're fine. I think you get a-- - I think you do have a tendency to go confrontational off-ripp. And then you have a tendency to play very simple mind games that are easy to see through. It's sort of like when a toddler wants to piss you off. And so you'll be like hot and cold, but it's so clear what you're doing that it-- - Yeah, I'm trying to give you a compliment. - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - I'm trying to get out of this where you come out looking good. And I come out looking bad. And you're just ripping off me. All right. Sorry, my bad. I thought you were teeing me up to-- - No, I'm not teeing you up. - You look like the good guy, but I'm being buried by your thunder. - Well, he is the good guy in this scenario. - Yes he is. - No, here we go. - I don't know why I'm not saying that. - Oh, you think you're-- - There's no bad guys. We're friends. No one is at odds here. You have to stop. - Okay, come on. - No one's got a gun to your head. - So what I wanted to say is that the reason why I adore you is that there's similarities with you and me. - Absolutely, no question about it. - And I look at the similarities and I go, that's a comrades. - What are the similarities you think? - I think him and I are shaped differently. - It's true. - Unconventionalies. - Body silhouette. - Really strong personalities. - Well, one's an intellectual. The other one is a lack of intellect. - Let's not get crazy. - Yeah, I'm not an intellectual. I know the bit, I know you're trying to do here in Mach Bobby, but let's not crazy. - No, he's the intellect. - Oh, okay. - You're a fucking idiot. - This guy's a dark horse. You have no idea. He comes out of nowhere. This guy is incredible. He's one of the smartest people I've ever known in my entire life. He plays dumb. It's a big, it's a, it's a, it's like a. - It's a 50 year old bit. - It's a 50, 55 old bit. - It isn't like the birth date, right? Birth date, right? It would have been funny. - Can anybody get anything out? - Well, you said 50, and it didn't work. - No, he only started at five. You started at five. You started at five. You have spit careening down here. - 'Cause he's making me fucking. - Well, I'm not trying to, yeah, yeah, make me me a bad mad dog. - He has a special out on Netflix right now. Please go watch it for all of our fans. - That's right, please go watch it. - Please go watch it. - He's also on tires. - He is on tires. - We had great episode together. - Episodes. - Yeah. - You guys were in the scene. - You guys were together in the scene? - We worked a lot together. - We did, we did. - It was so much fun. - It really was a blast. - Was he good on set? - He was incredible. Yes, he was great, he was great on set. There was one, Bobby, there was. - This is what I'm talking about. - Oh, there was one incident. - Can you let him talk? - But other than that, it's fine. He did ask to sniff a female cast members armpits. - Okay. - But I wasn't gonna bring that up, but you did ask me how was he on set. - You did bring it up and you caused a problem on set. - I caused a problem on set and you made it uncomfortable for me. 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Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Nonwithdrawable rewards issued as $50, click to claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at dkng.co/offer, limited time offer. Nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state. - Was that different than Antony Wanderas? - Antony Wanderas did not ask to sniff anyone's armpits on set. Was he like, who is he like? - Who is your age? (laughing) - Fuck you! - Fuck that's so fucking funny. - That's true. It's for the life. It's never similar. - They're the same age. 66, yeah, I know. You look so much better. You're right. - D5, turning in September. - It looks wonderful. - Yeah, you look the same age. - You really do look great. I'm not fucking with you. - All right. - It is funny that you are so old that I looked up to you as a child. A guy that looks like this. You were a childhood hero of mine. I used to love Mad TV. That's gotta be tough to see this. I was once a blushing boy being like, oh, I wonder what Bobby and Will Sassow are up to tonight. (laughing) But look, you get blessed by a younger generation and you become friends with them. So that all gets mixed up and you don't really think about age, really. - Right. - Which is also interesting. You had Marcelo on the phone. He has no idea who you are historically either. - Wait, wait. - He's so young. Well, he's 20, what frame of reference? - He knows who I am. - From before I'm saying, he has no idea about, he's 29, he doesn't remember Mad TV. - He does. - No chance. - He brings up sketches all the time. - He goes 29, 29's. - Mad TV, he was 24. - He was like nine. - Yeah, but it was a child show. - Well, it's definitely one of the people who are adjusted for babies. - It is kind of for babies. - It was a baby show. Mexican babies, Mexican babies. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mexican is a little bit. - It's good. - Yeah, yeah. - It's so funny. - By the way, see everybody's careers. Mad TV has launched more careers than SNL. - Well, that one cast that, that cast did unbelievable wonders for almost everyone on there. Like everyone on there did something. - Yeah, not everyone. - Almost every single person. - A lot of us got out of life. (laughing) A lot of us got out of life. (laughing) - You're the success story, kid. - I don't call me kid when I'm your elder. - Okay, old man. (laughing) - Maybe Jordan Peel. I would go with Jordan Peel. - Jordan Peel, Keegan. - Yeah. - Alex Borsting. - He's an old man. - I'm an old man. - Obviously. - No, that's about right. - Terran Killham, Will Sassow. - I put Sassow. (laughing) - Yeah, I put Sassow higher. - I put Sassow higher. - And Shane Shoe, Bobby was like, I don't know why you're pretending to be like nerve, or maybe you were. - It's rushed. - It's performative. - It's all performative. - One thing I love, he's such a little princess. He's like, I'm gonna bomb him, I'm gonna bomb him. Any paces and smoke, he's like old Hollywood. - Totally yes, I don't know darling. - Hello. - Leave him to see me anymore. - Well, they even be excited if I get on the stage. (laughing) - I'm begging for a compliment. - Will be. - Will be. (laughing) - Roses, for me? - Oh, you shouldn't have. - Well, you ordered them, ma'am. (laughing) - If this had gone bad, I would've put out a long cigarette on my Mexican garden. (laughing) - That's 100% him, but he did kill, I'm sure he killed. - And the funny, you did the funniest thing of that whole show. When you started, he gets the huge pop, right? South Carolina, Shane Fans, he starts going, ♪ We are Charlie Cook ♪ - He just takes that song, and people are like mad, but they love him, if they don't know how to fucking react. And before, the audience going down, he's like, eh, he just pulled it right back up and crushed for seven minutes after that. But it was so fucking, to get a huge pop, and then try and squander all your goodwill immediately, and then immediately, immediately grab it back. - That's a fun part of this. - That's great. - He was for about a month and a half. We heard "We are Charlie Cook" in this room every single day. - It's a great song. - It's a great song. - He loved that song. He couldn't get enough of that, dude. - Oh, really moving tribute. - So will he be back in the next season? - I hope so. - You got, 'cause-- - I have no, I have no-- - No, no, I'm saying, well, is the story lend itself to him coming back? - Absolutely, so the story lends it to it, but I also want to say that I don't want to expect to be back. - No, I think you do. - I'm not saying-- - I'm gonna, if I may not call her, I'm lobbying. I think me, you and Foley, is a beautiful troika. - That's a good combination. - That's a trio, I believe, our friends. - Absolutely. - They're unfuckables for real. - No. - No. - Yeah, yeah. - No. - Netflix, believe in yourself. - That's the unfuckable. (laughing) - Holy. - Stop, bro, flee. - No, you get head, I get head, Foley, Foley. - We defied God's wisdom, though. - Absolutely. - Not God's wisdom, his will, his will. - His will, that's what I meant, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's not what happened to us. - Fuck you, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fuck you, dude. - And we beat your system. - That's right. - I'm a fuck. - This system, you set up where you set that, we weren't gonna get laid. - I'm so excited for the smite portion of this. - I'll do you one better. - When tomorrow, he wakes up, he's like, "I think I'm sick. "I think I'm dying." - Oh, cancer, yes, something like that. - No, no, no. - I mean, thanks for all L, all the success. (laughing) - Well, I'm a test tube, baby. God truly didn't want me to exist. - Yeah, you're a science guy. - Science majoring me. - I'm the fucking $69 million man, dude. - Dude, you're science. Can you make Neil deGrasse Tyson? And he's like, "Maybe we should show out." - Yeah, he is. - Yeah, he is. - You're much science. (laughing) - Blind scientist. - Yeah. (laughing) - I don't know, we'll do other science. - We'll do other science. - Yeah, Cobra, yeah, don't take the vaccine, actually. (laughing) Neil deGrasse Tyson's son was like, "Yeah, fucking foul, she should be in jail." (laughing) - I'd love to see those guys start flipping real hard. He's so fucking funny. What happened sometime? Oh, it's cool to see every time. Like it is so interesting when somebody just goes so like, a lot of things broke people, like huge moments break people's brains. 9/11 made a lot of people just like, well, I guess we should just kill every Muslim. You know what I mean? Like it's normal people all of a sudden. We're like, yeah, I mean, it's the only thing we can see only a reasonable thing to do. And they like pretended it was a reasonable thing to say. It feels normal, it feels normal. So some, I mean, when the AI, maybe that's what it'll be. When the AI bubble crashes. It's coming. - It's coming. - We are living in huffles again. - Yeah. - Maybe that's when people will be like too much science. - Well, you know, Stavros is on a campaign now. After this, we have, we have limited time with him. He's going to take down a row of flock cameras tonight. - That's right. - He's, he's removed a flock. - Oh, I want to try. You want to? - Yeah, I know about those. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would love, if you, if you have the ability to, this, don't destroy any flock camera. - Yeah. - That's my message to everybody listening. Don't. - Yes. - Destroy any flock cameras. - Also, don't get a drone and fly it into a data center. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that. - Don't do any of that stuff. - Any of that. - And if you were, if you were, if you were, too much. - Yeah. - If you're constructing a data center. If you're on the, if you're on the, - Yes. - The crew, for example. - Don't do, don't put a little button in there. - Yeah. - Like the little square from the fucking death star. - Yeah. - And if one, if one thing is, it explodes. - Don't do that. - Don't do that. - Don't do that. - Yeah. - Nobody, nobody sabotage any of this stuff. We got one of our fans who was like a data kid who's got headphones and he's like, I'm gonna, say I'm gonna do it. (laughing) - I gotta do it for the bad friends. - I know, I know. - He starts doing it. - And everybody legally saw, we told everybody not to do any of that stuff. - And you, that stuff. - Illegal. Don't do that. - Yeah, don't do it. - You, it's kinda be fucking nuts to be like, I mean, you know, when you were growing up, there was black in white television and now we're off road. - That's not real. - Now we have block cameras. - Well, yeah, because for him, it was candles always. It was all candles. - I was born in '71, we had color then. - 1871, was pretty, no, you did have color. You just got-- - But you watched lasty, probably. - I did. - Yeah, see. - Dude, that's a lot of stuff. - Such a lot of gunspoke, probably. - Yeah, I did. (laughing) - I had it on blu-ray. - I had it on blu-ray. - Oh, that's funny. - Cigarette commercials, I miss those. Those were fucking awesome. 'Cause now you can't do cigarette commercials on TV anymore. - Yeah. - Which is so fucked up, 'cause you can do beer commercials, which is, I'll call the number one killer of fucking-- - Cancelling, it's like, nobody has anymore. - What's the difference? - Yeah, I like how that's the cut off. They're like, can't tell people to smoke on TV, man. But they can black out and die and drive. Don't worry about it. Possession to sale of control. - Rassing wild horses, who's doing that? - Hang on, I gotta tell ya. - I'm safe after you. - That was you. (laughing) - Oh, I remember in '89, '71, I did it. Right when I was born. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - Dude, that was the first act. - How bad do you think animal courses were treated when they were shooting fucking Westerns in the '40s? - He can't hit his mark. (laughing) - That's true, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They just killed, so, I mean, there was an HBO show where they just kept killing horses. - Oh, dude. - Lucky, I believe, it got canceled. It was a good cast, but they just kept killing horses. - Wait, what was it, Michael Manchell? - That's the hobmon, yeah. - Which is a luck, luck, luck, yeah. - It was fucking, I couldn't wait to watch it and then they just couldn't stop killing horses. - I'm gonna blow your mind right now. This is crazy. - Can I say something? I think if you make heat, you should get to kill 20 horses minimum. Michael, they should've let Michael Manchell finish his creative vision. That's what I think, personally. If you make a movie like this. - It's sort of the Michael Jackson corollary. - Yeah. - With enough talent, all right. (laughing) With enough talent, we don't really give that much of a fuck. I think Michael Manchell rises to that level. - So whenever these horses were fucking up, he was like, get rid of him now. - I don't think Michael Manchell was killing the horses personally. - No, he was telling people to get rid of him. I was like, I put this, right, they run then. - Oh, they ran then. - My favorite horse movie is zoo. Look that up, zoo, documentary. - We bought a zoo? - Zoo, documentary. - We bought a zoo, yeah, with my crew. - Zoo documentary. - Yep, yep. - It's amazing that Damon can do that. - Look at the cover of the first one, yeah. - Oh no. - No, stop it, shut up. We know what this is. - Is that an elephant crying? - It's disgusting. It's a horse, that's a horse that's disgusting. - And look at the eye of the horse, all. - It's about the B word, dude. - That's your favorite documentary? - Well, we're talking about horses. That's the only horse thing I know. (laughing) - Yeah. - The only horse thing I know, yeah. - What do you think, you're digging an elephant's trunk? (laughing) - Well, there's two holes, like a pick a hole. You could pick a hole. - Oh, interesting. - That one, yeah. - All right, come on. What do you think, Thailand vacation? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - You can suck both our dicks at the same time. - No, I think we'd have to have one. 'Cause like, if you do this, you can still breathe. But if you do both, you can't. So I feel like, you need to suck. - Hold on, hold on. - You need one open nostril to suck a sock. - No, that's not true. - Look, put two fingers in your nose. - Put your mouth. - Okay. - True. - Open your mouth. - You just feel like, oh. - And yet, fucking idiot. - Okay, sorry. You're right. - But I don't think you're getting enough suction that way. We'll figure it out. - We'll figure it out, we'll figure it out. - Well, somebody tried to get me yesterday to watch the Perez Hilton cutting himself video. I had no idea that was a real thing. - That's like a, that's like a, like a fat middle school girl whose parents are going through a divorce. - Oh, that's that kind of thing. - Oh, it's dark. - No, it's late of the week. - Huh? - I've never experienced that. I'm just saying, he's so clearly acting out. And he's so mad. Nobody pays attention to him. And it's also like, he was kind of a piece of, his whole career was being, so like, I'm not happy he cut himself, but he drove a lot of people insane. So, you know what I mean? - Well, Britney Spears, dude. - Exactly. - You can attribute a lot of that to like, that era of the shit media, like storming these people and like, just berating their private lives. - Yeah. - And like, and that's why she now dances in her kitchen. And I watched, I love her videos. She'll dance in the kitchen. Like, I will be like cleaning in the background and she's like doing like a sexy dance. - I hope she's having a great time. - I think she's having the most fun. - I know. - She's ever had. I think now that she's free, she's like, fuck yeah. - Hell yeah. - I'm going to the top, like these videos are my favorite, dude. - Yeah, as long as she's mentally well, I'm rooting for her. - She's not. - Well, who is? (laughing) That's, it's subjective. Are you, am I, is he? I mean, it's, yeah. There's a level. Like, look at the crew of pigs we have. I mean, it's like, are any of these guys, I mean, fancy has a child, so it leveled him out a little bit. - Yes. - But prior to that, dude, this guy was a concubine. - Was Jessica Simpson ever bigger than her? - No. - What do you mean, like fame wise? - Yeah. - No way. - Well, there was a moment with "Dukes of Hazard," Britney Spears did. Of course, but I'm saying, there was a moment. We would have to, we would have to chart when she like, you know, shaved her head and like, Perez Hilton, and. - That's basically what he did. - He terrorized her. - Yeah, like those guys terrorized her to shave her head. - But there was a moment where Jessica Simpson, they had the Nikola Shea reality show. She was on "Dukes of Hazard." There might have been one second maybe. - Maybe. - She was, but in terms of overall lasting cultural impact, no. - Britney, and I'm speaking as a man who was 12 at the time and I kept real close tabs on Star Wars. I was jacking off to a lot of videos. - What? - Oh, I see. He was looking for a segway. That was actually pretty well done. - That's, that's, that's. - That's me. - Which way? - That one with me and Will. That's me, Will and Jessica Simpson. (laughs) - Have you guys smashed? - No, that was my first live. - Can you imagine? - Wait, really? - Yeah. - They didn't even let him near her dressing room. - No. - They were like, "Bob, we can't go down that hallway." - This has got to be 2000. - 20, oh. - What is it? - 2000. - 2000? - 3, 9, 11. - 2001. - That's right. - That's why 9/11 happened. (laughs) - The hijackers were in Tampa at strip clubs as this was being shot. They were having their one last hurrah before fucking. (laughs) - Imagine this is on in the background of a strip club. - It's possible. But the 9/11 hijackers watched this sketch. (laughs) - That could be a, get this one. - I know what, that little Asian boy, he seems scared. And we're scared, but he made it through, and God damn it, we can make it through to. It's very possible that you sticking through that live really was the final straw that made 9/11 happen. - Oh wow. - On you, you saw him a murder. - No. - No, no, no. - Oh, I'm just, you're an inspirational guy, and you can't help who takes it. - He's an inspiration from that. - Yeah. - Whether it's an artist or, you know, (laughs) - It's really, you can't help that at all. - So I punch her in the mouth. - Oh really? - That was the sketch. - So we're dancing, and I punch her in the mouth. - That's the bit. - The joke. - No, it's not. - Oh, you actually did it. - That's hilarious. - And we're still dancing, and she opens her mouth and a whole other teeth are red. So it's my first live, and you punched her in the mouth. - Where you on the fourth floor? - No. - You were on drugs over? - Completely sober. - Wow. - I punched her, and I remember looking at Dick Lesucci, the executive producer. - Wait a second. - A guy's name is Dick Lesucci. - You don't know Lesucci? (laughs) - His guy's name is Dick Lesucci. - No, blessucci. - Oh, blessucci. - You're, first of all, making fun of a legend. - He came up to you after you hit her in the mouth, and what? - He didn't, he was during it, and I looked at him, and he seemed mad, but he goes, keep going. - Oh yeah, that's Hollywood, baby. - Yeah, yeah, keep going. - And cares about her wellbeing. Keep going. We're live. - Hold on here. - Here, come. - Oh, we're gonna see you. (laughs) - Honestly, you look so breedable and submissive. - What is she supposed to be, she's trying to follow you around? - It's singled out. - Oh yeah. - Oh, but she wants to fuck Bob. (laughs) That's pretty sick. - That's so funny that that's the bit that they're like, and then we'll pretend like she wants to have sex with that Korean guy. (laughs) - What is the most ridiculous thing you could possibly imagine? (laughs) - I don't know, like a meteor strikes earth. Nah, not ridiculous enough. - No, it's not crazy. - How about Jessica Simpson wanting to fuck this svelte? - Oh, there it is. - There it was. Go back. - Buncher. - That was it. Wait, go back, he's gets up and punches her. Here it is. - You ready? - Ready? - Oh. (laughs) - Oh my god, dude, close fist. What, what a fucking. Pro she just kept rolling with it. She was she was so oh you can tell she's that's a big cut. Yeah, yeah, wow Place no I survived it. So she that's how she got CTE was right that very moment Acorns acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow Acorns is easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money Even if all you've got is spare change Acorns a smart way to give your money a chance to grow You know we should have paid attention to those little squirrels when they were putting away acorns They knew it exactly when I was a kid. I would look out the window and I'd see those little squirrels Packing away that little acorns like you just said Those squirrels are still alive because of that but the squirrels like myself back then are in a tree with no nuts and dying Don't you wish you had nuts acorns is all in one no more finance apps cluttering up your phone with acorns You can invest save and give your money a chance to grow in one single trusted place And also the acorns potential screen shows you the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time Plus you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every day every week every month to make sure you're building towards your goals Tell them how they can be a smart squirrel and get themselves on it I'll tell you how sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with abhorrent corns New customers get a $20 investment just before signing up It takes about two minutes and could be quickest $20 you'll ever earn That's right head acorns dot com slash bad friends. That's AC O R and S dot com slash bad friends to claim your $20 bonus today acorns dot com slash bad friends limited time offer terms and conditions apply see acorns dot com slash terms for details Hey, non-clinodorecement compensation provides incentive to positive remote acorns to your two compensation provide a potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts Aged investment settings is not including acorns fees results in our predictor represent the performance of any acorns portfolio investment results We're very investing of all dress acorn if I just L.C. and SEC registered investment advisor view for just loads of acorns dot com slash bad friends talk space talk spaces The number one rated online therapy bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can Access anytime anywhere that's right Bob and I've been talking about therapy for a long time on the show and that's because we Do believe in it and we use it. I've been using it for many many many years and so has Bob and it gets you through those tough times in your life No matter what it is man taking control of your mental health is a big big thing and we do support it very much and you do have the time Even if you think you don't from the comfort of your home your house your couch your car wherever you are Talk space makes it very easy to start. I think it saves lives. I do believe so I really do Yes, and I you know without therapy. I just I would be lost. Well, thank you talk space Thank you get it easier to get the help that you need talk space makes getting the help you need easy accessible and affordable plus Most insured members have a zero dollar copay as a listener of the podcast You're gonna get $80 off your first month with talk space when you go to talk space dot com and enter the promo code space 80 that's Space S P A C eight zero to match with a licensed therapist today go to talk space dot com and inner promo code space 80 Dude honestly Bob you look like that still. Yeah, yeah, you're the good part of not being hot when you're young is you can stay young youthful when you're 55 Your body's not that different for this is a positive thing stop look you look the same you look exactly the same You're not buddy. You weren't hot. I mean you were cute. You had more I'm so like that's a positive look how cute I am you are cute. How many years more light in your way Did you start using like when were you really messed out on I was 13 years over here From what yeah, but when did you relapse on the show right right about here right about He asked us he asked his assumptions armpits. Yeah, I could be using. I don't know. I know did you say sorry? That's a really funny. Yeah, I would have I would have not asked but I really would have wanted to smell them here Saying I'm a brother here. I understand what you're going through. I understand the impulse not the question I got to also sit on Jessica Alba's lap as a baby. Oh, wow. I played her baby and you see what they did one of those were your heads Poken through the couch. No look up Jessica. I'm bobby live to you Well, that's what it what that was all every bit with him was that it was very much like he's this sweet little like that Yeah, exactly. Oh The hair is fucking hilarious. It's the same episode Oh, no, you guys were making fun of just exemption and Nick. Oh look at that. Wow This is accidentally beautifully curated Robert. There we go All right, let's see and there's out near a little baby and Jessica Alba's taking care of you You do look you God how fucking weird dude I mean this is actually insane This is fetish pornography This is what TV was though this was like did anybody on the staff do you think were they later busted being like dipped up like being diaper guys Oh diaper diaper boys. Yeah, just before that was in the culture and I bet you this sketch who wrote this Blasucci Blasucci needed to wear diapers to nut. That's what I'm saying now. There's a big subculture where you know guys sexual. Yeah, yeah, I bet you let's you can't find it But whoever wrote that sketch, I bet you they got a weird little diaper fetish. I a hundred may be great, but I'll take this yeah I went from open mic to this. Are you serious where they find you at the comedy store some of this stuff was open micie I will say that yeah, but I but imagine going from open mic that's insane to this and you're kind of like I don't have no lines And I'm just playing babies and stuff. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah, but also they chose right running in a circle who like who's can I say something That's insane to call that shot because do you have any fucking all act out open micers exist that if you put them on fucking TV They would crumble and you rose to the fucking occasion and barren halls Barren holds an open mic or two was Mike. He was doing sketch. He was doing improv and sketch right it's from boom Chicago boom Chicago Yeah, yeah, this is honestly whoever put that crew together real eye for talent 100% because there's the way the way the fact that That's where they found you and then it worked is crazy How do they find will do you remember was he in a Canadian group? No, he's from Canada. I don't know how he got him He was just I he did stop his world and he he was like an actor actor. He didn't he didn't think he was gonna be he didn't do like a comedy troop in Canada I thought no, he was an act. He was on a comedy show I think all right He wasn't he never looked at it exclusively as comedy, which is fascinating because he's so that's why so good at it Yeah, because because if he did it, he'd be like this suck. He's a piece of shit We're the dumbest people of all time. We just want to make people laugh. We don't care if our arts good And he's like a real actor who happens to actually want to do something real and he was also fat as shit He was a big fucking awesome. Yeah, he was the nicest guy. I mean without him. I wouldn't survive. Oh, I love to hear that Can I ask you Bob? Is there any big five five big one? Yeah, do you have are you reflecting on your life? Do you so so funny anything? Do you have goals for you know? I'm going through some terminal oil right now. Let's say you're in the autumn of your life I'm going through some terminal right now. Okay, and I'm here to help with it. Any I'm going through a little Transitional period you are yeah, time but but the good news is there's some good news. The good news is bad friends is going to go on The good news is he needs the money folks I'm just wondering what do you do you have any like you've done a lot you've experienced a lot is there something you Want to do in the next five years let's say before I've been talking about this a lot What are the next five years hold for Robert down to for Robert E Lee you're such a false start you jump the gun your brain is like It's like fucking take it easy. I'm asking you a question. Don't please tell me just it's just me and you no Defense mechanism, but your days away you can't do Anyway, what no, he's not to he's going to Hawaii first. I'm here's here's a deal. Yeah, I talk about I've been talking about retiring Oh really yeah, and I think I'm in the next three or four years. I think I'm done. What would you do with your time off? I would figure it out. That's a horrible plan Here's what I'll do. He's he means retired from pod. We're gonna do the pod for a couple more years and then we're done I see but you would still you would still I do my local stand-ups do stand-up your local comedy community But you wouldn't go on the road I would okay. Yeah, but that's like I can see myself apparently on the road You know making you know, but you would want to act still No, we're not acting. We're not acting. You're acting. What are you talking? You're an actor. You're in everything. You're both incredible actors He's on he's in the new movie Tony, which is absolutely gonna win something with I don't win something I don't think so, but it's a good movie. Yeah, I take it and Tony over there She get nominated for supporting actor Mike. How was the kid incredible? I met him Dominic's life seconds Yeah, he seems like and I want I have said this on like what You know, I've said it before but it's like I kind of want him to be a piece of shit He's like handsome. Yeah, is he that handsome in real life? He's yeah, you know something you you'll see a star in real life Well, yeah, you go. Oh the angles weird the way I'm looking at it I there are there's a certain thing with certain people just look better on camera But no, this kid's handsome in real life. I was talking about a dumb Antonio. Oh, Antonio man there. It's just like he's so fucking He's like the biggest piece of ass in the world dude like he He's what Pedro Pascal wishes he was. Oh, yeah, no respect. Yeah, he can't touch him. No, dude. He wants to be this guy He can't touch fucking Desperado, dude And he's a great actor and he's like he actually cares about acting. He looks like he gives a fuck He know what he does you know what his like semi-retirement is he fucking built a theater He first away is a bunch of restaurants. He actually can he was the only person who could cook on set. Oh, the rest of us were like he was actually Yeah, yeah, he's fucking nice with it and he he's how much he's like a one of the most handsome movie stars of all time What he does on his off time is local theater in his hometown in fucking Malaga like he built the theater He just loves he's just a theater. Do you know this to be true as Spaniard? We have a local spaniard. Oh, yeah local theater in Spain, he loves it that like that's respect because if I look like that guy, I would for the while wouldn't you know my life would be much different tremendously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd be dead already. Yeah, 100 percent. The Spanish scientists were a little better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so he's so he, so you've seen one of his plays in Spain. I haven't been to his theater, but it's his theater that he does. Wow. He did like musicals. Yeah, yeah, dude, could you imagine do it? Love of the game local theater. Well, have you been to have you been a mile ago before? I haven't. It's such a beautiful place to it's not it. It's not like you, when you say hometown, just for the people that want to know, when you say hometown, it's not this isn't fucking peckypsy. No, of course. Yeah, yeah. This place is stunning. Like this, it's one of my favorite fucking cities in Spain. Oh, you've been there. Yes. I was there last year. Really? He's been all over the world, kid. Well, what about? I like that. So you know what? Actually, we just tapped into something. You need to stop fighting aging and settle into being an old like a wise old man. That did something for me. Yeah, really good. Yeah. Well, not, don't do it. I can't do the best. No, fuck it's gone. Never mind. Go back to wearing medium fucking dinosaur t-shirts. No, don't fuck me up. Put on a suit is what I'm saying. Put on a sweater. I think you're an elder statesman and you're fighting that. Yeah, it's be more sign felled. Oh, hell, yeah. Never mind. You have some other stuff to work out. What are the next five? Can you answer the question? What do you want to do? Do you want to go all over the world? What do you want to do in the next five years before 60? What do you want to accomplish other than retiring? It's about stuff. I was thinking you have like these grand goals. I just want to bring it out of him a little bit. He doesn't have it. So you just exist. You're actually almost Buddhist because you only exist in the old existence now. I see. I was like, not even, huh? You know, oh, you're not even real. I might not be. Some of the things I think it's more likely than not that this is a figment of our imagination. That me and you were in an insane asylum. Yeah, still dressed like this. We let them dress up on Saturday. It's what they love. We only get Disney media because if we see anything more violence, our fucking stabbing each other. If we're in the nut house, if we see anything sexual, we like each other. And these guys work at the insane asylum. They're like, these are the nurses. Just be producer. Show us under your tongue. Let's see that you took the pill. Are you seeing Bobby Lee again? Goddamn it. Get it double his meds. They've created some little Korean. You told me, you told me you do want to travel a little bit when you're done. I love that. But not, but he wants to do it very like very chill. He's not like a go disappear for. He's not like Ari. Of course. Yeah. Well, you seem to I want to be I want to be I mean, he does influence me. I know you love the idea of it. I don't think I can do it. You can't like being backpacking in the trails of your I agree. You've you've lived too comfortable a life. Yeah, you can't you can't do that shit. I'm with you too. I've only had money for like three years and I can't like I've started noticing bad sheets. Can you believe that bad? What? Sheets like that. Sheets. Oh my girl. I would I would sleep on floor. You know, like I had the same Aladdin sheets until I was 27 years old. Yeah. Yeah. But like now I it actually pisses me off that I showed you the world that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He did. And it does make me want to fun girls that look like Jasmine. I do like. Yeah. Yeah. But she was a bad and Armenian Uber driver here. I was chatting the whole time. Oh, really? Oh, and what do you want? It you know, they mean like to invest in how do you do with stardom? Now you're Barbara Walters. It's, you know, it's like Larry King as to how do you do stardom? Um, what do you do for stardom? You think I don't know. I don't know. What are your luxuries? You have luxuries? Have you ever seen that clip of Danny Poole? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The funny thing about it. He said. Yes. He's got a private jet. He was Larry. I was on duct tape. He has a better private jet. He goes. He goes. What are some luxuries you love to afford? And he's like a nice new pair of socks. Yeah. And he goes socks. He's like, what do you think? And he's like, oh, like private jets or he goes private jets. Yes. Larry, I was on duct tape. It's so good. That is a great thing. I tell me about. I don't have seen it. You just literally did it for better. It's not much more. We don't have to watch the video. It's the exact same thing. But the proof is the proof is that old Hollywood like that. They must have made such absorb exorbitant amounts of money so quickly that they were like once they see you on TV. You must be a billionaire totally because like that was old Hollywood's thought. And I'm sure Larry was worth. Oh, that motherfucker is probably rich as hell. But that's what I mean. Is that era? He assumed because back then if you saw a young guy in TV who became an actor, you're like, oh, you got to be. Of course. You got to be fucking rolling in the dough. Of course. Danny Poole is like, what are you talking about, dude? I drove myself here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the Lord of the Rings actors. Oh, yeah. Those guys are little. They got screwed. No, they're ruined. They got. They got for three movies. They got 200 grand a piece. Now, it sounds like a lot. It is a lot of money. It's not. Now hold on three movies. But those movies, they weren't like movies you shooting at in 30 days. Those motherfuckers lived in New Zealand for a month years. That's not stood. No, a couple people also revealed that he roughly $250,000 for the entire trilogy with no film research. Who the fuck made the money? Well, who made the deal? Yeah. Orlando Bloom was 175 for all three movies. Elijah Wood for sure. Elijah Wood got fucking bankrolled on that thing. There's no way. He got screwed. They all did. I hope Harry Potter is fucking rich. He's got to be. He's got to see that. I'm sure. Yeah. Harry Potter's got to be Daniel Radcliffe. I'm sure he's fucking cake. I love them. Good for them. They all got paid. And he was showing his cock in a horse play. What? Speaking of horses, he was in a he was in a play called Equis where he showed his cock. He made a hundred million dollars from all of the Harry Potter. That's incredible. He deserves it, dude. They deserve more. They made eight of them. He deserves less. You think so? I mean, because you're talking about a movie that each movie probably made a no you're a billion dollar. You're right. In terms of who had all the money. So what? He's got his penises in there and he shows his winters. I don't know. Maybe he doesn't show his cock. No, no, no, let's just go. Yeah, yeah. He does shows. Go. Let's just say he does. Yeah. So you could go. So it's so funny to think about being like a like a Harry Potter super fan. Mm hmm. Being like, you know, some theater girl being like, I can't wait to see him on Broadway. He's doing a horrible theater. But he made it as a kid, right? He was a child actor. A child. So he doesn't know what it like to work at Jersey Mike's or whatever. No, but his life is so fucking we like salute to him for like for not losing his mind. Yeah, that's true. Are you a London guy? Because you love London. I every time I go, I have a fun time. I don't know why. I feel like it's a little fantasy town. It's fake. I'm not a London guy. Where do you like? Because I don't like, I'm not a New Yorker either. Oh, you know, like, I love it. It's like fucking any big cities. You love it here, though. Yeah. You're Southern California, guys. I think L.A. is the best city in the world. No. Yeah, 100%. No, that's just, you know, you just like it here. I personally, yeah, prefer it. I think what's interesting about what's wrong with me? Nothing. I don't know. A very Larry King. King. Like, you're one of the Larry's. You're one of the Larry's. I'm one. What's the other one? Well, Larry David. You're very Larry David. Today, sometimes you've been Larry David. Sometimes you're Larry King. Yeah. Sometimes you're Larry, the cable guy. Yeah, I'm saying you're him sometimes. And a very nice man. Yeah, he's the man. I don't know. Yeah, he's one of the nicest fucking guys. He's, he is very rad. Yeah. Okay. So let me ask you this. Your headlining club. Yeah. Okay. Which you, you rarely do because you're a thing. I love clubs. And I'm close back. Me too. Yeah. Legit next year. Me. That's my exact same plan. So excited. Kind of bullshit. Honestly, theaters are just not what's okay. So you're, you're doing a weekend, right? And they go, listen, we need to, there's a guy that's doing a guest spot. We need to kick you out of the green room because he's a huge name. What? Yeah, just to hear me out. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to just throw you some names. See if they, they are allowed to kick you out of your dressing room. Okay, sure. I mean, the answer is no in principle for anyone. Unless there's like one, then I will play this game. No, no, go ahead. But it's interesting to think like was, would there be somebody that like, you know, George Carland, if he was alive? Yes. We got, we found a name. The first name. I, we, you know, no, the guy you named is dead. He's a dead guy. I need name. He's a legend throughout the past three. I would, if he's going, Judge Carone, yes. Next. Okay. Let's start more, let's start lower and then height. Or someone that's alive. Can I help you? It's my fucking game. Oh, yeah. Right. You're right. I'm sorry. You're birthday. It's your game. You're right, though. I'm going to do it your way. Okay. You can, uh, dang cook. No. Okay. What? All right. He can come in. I'd be like, Hey, man. Let's chat. Yeah. But I'm not, will you allow him again? Give him a guest spot? Yeah. Of course. Okay. But I'm not getting kicked out of my own green room. I don't think anybody's going to let them get kicked out of their own green room. I think Richard prior, if he was alive again, you keep naming. Yeah. If Lenny Bruce was, if a guy was jailed in the 60s for saying, fuck, I would let him have my green room. But yes, no, can what a great movie Lenny. So you're saying no one alive, basically. Yeah. I mean, I would be like, you can chill, but Louie, if Louie's like, I'm gonna take over the, I'm gonna. - He go from, like, that's just, why the fuck would anybody do that? - That's his game! - Yeah, it's my game. - If somebody wants to come into your house and like, fuck your wife, it's like, no. - So there's a famous story. - Okay, we're Sam Tripoli. - Yeah. - Okay, you know him? - Yeah. - He was headlining, his first headlining gig in the Addison improv. - Dallas, okay. - That Friday, he gets a call from the club. - Yo, men see us in town. - That's insane. - And he goes, okay, and he goes, he's now headlining. - That's a little different though. - And your future. - And your future. - Oh, that's nuts. - Okay, and so, and he just had to take it. - Yeah, well, when you're headlining, you don't have a schedule. - I don't know, so is there any situation? I mean, that's just, so that happens. - That's just very rarely. - It does happen, people flow in the town and they bump you from your fucking. - When you're a young headliner, he's not. - Sure, sure, sure. - Yeah, when you're, Darcy, when I was starting, absolutely. - Rich, if I own the club and your headlining and Richer Prior was like, I need the green room by myself. - Again, I'm fucking dead. - Say yes. - Yes, I would. - Yes, your jerk. - I'd be like, I was like, oh my God, can you bring my grandmother back next? That's what I'd say. Yes, whatever you need, can we bring, can we, who else can we resurrect? That's what I would be saying. I wouldn't be like, I wouldn't be worried about my place in comedy. I would be like, who is this necromancer that you found that brought Richer Prior back to the day? (laughing) - That's the most interesting part. - Do you know a lot of necromancers yet? (laughing) - Through my connections with my new girlfriend. - Oh really? - She does have a connection. - She with the occult? - She's a witch. - She's a witch. - Wow. - And she has a lot of connections. - Why are three witches at my house right now? They're a, it's her birthday. And so I allowed them to use my access to my pool. - Double, double, toil and trouble. - It's good. - They're bubbling up something back there. - What if they're fucking getting your hair and shit? - They're, she already has it. She already has it. - Tell them what you did with me, what she told you to do with me. - It's still there. - Oh my God. - Your name's still there. - What is it? - She was like, she wrote your name down in like, - No, she goes. - And the Graham in the middle of a brand new. - We were in London, we gonna fight. - Yeah, we got a big fight. - Big fight. - You and him? - Yeah. - It was so fucking fun. - You were touring and had a fight. - Yeah. - I see. - Obviously. - I threw like a water bottle or something on his head. - I see. - I was never gonna really be like, "We'll be able to do that." - The fight? - Yeah. - I didn't throw it at you, I threw it against the wall. - I know you did, but very violent. (laughing) - That is legit. That's abusive dad behavior. - Yeah. - And that's like, I didn't fucking hit you bitch. - And it's like, yeah, basically. - You basically, yeah, yeah. - I screamed at him. - My dad would do that to you. - I screamed at him. - And then I threw it the direction he wasn't in. - Yeah, it was nowhere. - I mean, that's classic. - I screamed that way and then I threw it that way. - That's my dad was in prison while I was in middle school behavior. - Bing, bing, bing. (laughing) - I would never hurt him. - Anyway. - I was so vulnerable. - Yeah, anyway, I got back into town and I'm dating, you know, my girlfriend. And she goes, "You gotta put this fucking name "on a piece of paper, this piece of shit." I go, "Okay." - Yeah, that's how she started crating her teeth. (laughing) Did you tell her what you did, how annoying you were? How much of a brat? Did you tell her that? Did you give her that was details? Did you little fucking fat, lazy brat? - Well, that's not a reminiscence. (laughing) - You know, that should be the name of your life. - And right before, whatever happens next, Uncle Stav on Netflix, September 8th. Let's remind you, let's remember folks. (laughing) - And I have my-- - Bro, I'm already out. - September 8th. - When is Bobby's, when is your-- - November, I'm not gonna promote him. - November, he's, he's November. - Oh. - On November, but, um. - Anyway, she told me to-- - Wait, he's just coming out and fucking September in November, you cock, so I-- - No, his special. - Oh. - I thought he said when's his special. - No, when's his birthday? - Oh, now. - Yeah, now, which, which today's date again? - September, September 17th. - Oh, so the special's already been out, so just check it out. It's already out right now. And it's doing very well, so before anything else happens, just keep watching it now, back to London. - Anyway, she goes, you gotta put his name on of his forever. - Good acting. - Thank you. - Do that on tires next year. (laughing) - This is why I have insecurities. (laughing) - No, this is not it. - This is why I have 'em. - Someone's gotta give 'em to you. - It's because of you. - 'Cause everybody just lifts you up. I gotta pull you down. - Yeah, you don't have to. I'll pull you up. - This is everybody. - I've always pulled you up. - Carrying Bobby, whatever you need, Bobby. - Yeah. - And this is you pushing it down. - Yeah, yeah, I don't need this. - I want it. - There's too much pressure. - No, you're, anyway, she said I'm this seed. - And you're Odysseus trying to stay above as this seed is wild. - What's the name on a piece of paper? - Yeah. And she's going, "When got him, let me have some." - Yes. So I put his name on a piece of paper, folded it, put it in the freezer, and his name is still in my freezer. - I need a cool off. - And if you hold off? - No. - Has she done any? - We haven't fought since. - No, we haven't fought since. - Really? - Yeah. - Take it out tonight. Let's see what happens. - I'll be injured. - I'm gonna take the name off. - Take it out and don't tell him when you're gonna do it. That's a fun experiment. - How about this? Put it in the fridge. So it's a slow transfer. - No. - I wanna see that he saw it. - Yeah, you're muddling the experiment. (laughing) - Now, we fought twice on tour, and that was too big fallouts. But we made up and we hugged and we kissed. - I love that. - And I'm more interested in this witch. Has she done any hexes around you? Have you seen her curse anyone or done any magic for good? - She's only a good witch. - She's Glendora. - She's Glendora. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - She doesn't like anything. - Glendora, city in Southern California. - She's San Bernardino, the good witch. (laughing) - That's nice. That's beautiful. - Yeah, she doesn't. - Do you see anybody? Big guy? - Why, dude? - You're mad at him, remember? - Yeah. - Oh, that's right, that's right. (laughing) - Don't take it out on him. - No, no. Unfortunately, my career-- - What do you gotta say? - What do you're killing it? - Are you barking at him? - I wanna say something to you right now. - Yes. - To what I thought. - And really take this to heart if you're capable. - Okay, we would wait to start a compliment. (laughing) - Or a criticism? - I'm Korean, Bobbi Lee. - Sorry. - What? - I don't know, but what I'm saying-- - I know that. - Who are you talking? - I don't know what I'm talking to right now. - Okay. - But at my point, they'll be-- - We're back in the psych ward. (laughing) - That's what the nurses say to calm us down. I'm Korean, Bobbi Lee. I'm your friend. (laughing) We're doing the podcast now. (laughing) Get in, they'll get in the strap us in. We're like podcasts. (laughing) - Podcast. - We need to do podcasts. - We need to do riffs. Okay, what are we gonna tell me, Robert? These are you done? Are you withdrawn to your mind, Palace? (laughing) I like my palace. (laughing) I love my palace. - I went in there. - Yeah, tell 'em. - I forgot what I was gonna say. (laughing) I've been thinking for the last minute. - Well, you asked somebody if he had a lady and then you deflected and then you said, I wanna give you a comp. - Probably he was gonna say that you're a great actor and in great movies. - No, what I was gonna say is that. - That's true. - Right now in your life, from as my perspective. - Yes, and I would love to have your perspective. - I will give it to you. - Thank you. - You're welcome. (laughing) - Why so hostile? This is why I freak out. - I'm not doing it. I'm literally excited to hear what you say. Like I said, I looked up to you as a child. - Don't say that. - I know, it's fucked up. - It makes me look. - I know, I know. - I know, I mean, what do you mean? It's the same with, how old do you? - 37. - I'm the same thing. - Yeah. - I have the same thing. I loved watching him when I was young. - Yeah, what I was gonna say to you is that, out of all of the people that I know from our ecosystem at least, right? You're doing wonderful things. - Oh, thanks, dude. - And you have, I mean, I can't, there are certain things I can't even say. So I'm not gonna say it. - Okay. - But. - What do you mean? - The end word. - You play your cards perfectly. - Play my cards for you. That sounds like a backhanded compliment. - No, I know what he's trying to say. He's like being a slick way of saying, he thinks you're on the right side of things. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Thank you. - I appreciate that. - You make good choices is what he thinks. - I like that, thank you. - And the best choice you're gonna make right now is you gonna look into that camera. (laughing) - And do what? - And announce our midway point. - Thank you. - And we're halfway into the pot. - Yeah. (laughing) - Thank you for being a bad friend. - Thank you for being a bad friend. Uncle stop on Netflix right now. Go watch it. - Go watch Uncle stop on Netflix. Thank you. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)