Bobby's Missed Connections

- You two are bad friends. - You are these two idiots. - Wooo! - My dude, I'm an agent here. - You two are disgusting. - Wooo! - Are you two or something? - The bad friends. - Well look at who's back. - Hello. - Look who's back. - Hello. - Hello, Porgs. You know, it was really good to see you when I walked in the studio. - I felt a laugh. - Did you really? - No. - I hugged you twice. (laughing) I hugged you twice. - But with some extra touching. - With some crachies. - I love doing crachies with you. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - From Porg, nipple crachies are good. - A couple of tickles for the boy. - Yeah. - You're back from Espanya. At some family time. How are you feeling? - Okay. - Yeah. - Happy to be back. Are you happy to be back for real? - Especially because I saw you guys tried to replace me. - We didn't try. - We did. (laughing) - We were very sad. - We absolutely did. - That guy was fantastic. - We found a wonder kid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's the best, the big sea. - Dynamic, the big sea dude. - Are you threatened? - A little bit. (laughing) - Wow. - But did you, you didn't edit that episode. Did you, no, but George did and you watched it. Did you watch it? - I did. - You did. - I know he watched it, like a sick little weirdo just. - Yeah. - He's not as good as me. (laughing) That is no way he is as good as me. - Yeah. - And he was. - He was. - Yeah. - Yeah, we flew him across the country just to temporarily replace you. But nobody, nobody, bad friends. No one can replace fancy bees. - No. - Happy, he's back. (clapping) - Well, so the big sea, doesn't really know what food is. (laughing) - I don't think he eats. - Yeah, I mean, we'd run to John and Vinnie's, right. - Yeah. - And everything was, I don't like it. - Yeah. - Well, the first thing he brought out was, was a, like a barada or something and he had no fucking idea what that ever seen barada before in his entire life. - He, that was a dead ghost. - Yeah, dead ghost. (laughing) - A whole ghost. - Yeah. - And we had, oh, he hated the gem salad. - Gem salad, didn't I? - By the way, it's just lettuce. (laughing) - It's a Caesar salad. - He hated it. - With a little spice in it. - That's so good. - Yeah, he didn't like that. And then, what he did like was the anchovy pizza, which is strange. - Love it. - He loved it. - Yeah. - It was no cheese on it, just red sauce and an anchovy stripped across it. And he'd like that. - He was like, yeah, that one is pretty good. (laughing) - He was like, the fish pizza is good. - Yeah. - You don't like any of the other pizza. He didn't like the Haaglettale. He didn't like the brown, he didn't like the Bronx bomber, he's never had real pasta, I think. - No, he's never had-- - I think it's a little too chewy for him or something. (laughing) - He went like this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like a horse, like you're trying to get rid of something. - And then the embrace afterwards were as if we were never gonna see him again. - Well, we're probably not. (laughing) - Yeah. - No, you know, we do, I will say this. We do really, I don't wanna give anything away to the fans. We do love the big sea. - We like the big sea. - We will see him again. - I hope so. - We love him. - He's unique. - We gotta get him some, you know, - What? - Some action, I think. - What? - What? - What? - Well, I mean, he's 30, what? 132, and then he hasn't had, since the Dominican Republic had, in high school. - 13 years. - Which I don't even believe, do you believe that story or no? - I don't think he's really had sex. - Come on. - Come on, what? - Of course, that's not real. He's never had sex. - He wanted to give a detail about how it happened. - Yeah, 'cause he's been puffy ran away. - He's been puffy ran away afterwards. - And ran into the forest? - She was able to cut the ropes. (laughing) Escaping through the woods. And I was chasing her. Come back here little girl. - Yeah, it was a wild story. - He had an elaborate story because he, because he's been broached with this subject many times. Some people have said, you know, he's been around another guy that's like, "Hey, you know, you working on anybody right now? You got anybody on your roster?" - No, no, not really. I have sex once in Dominican. (laughing) I think it's like, it's not like, you know what, it's not make fun of that. - We're not making fun of that. - Let's go backwards. I'm proud of him 'cause he's saving himself for real love. That's what he said at dinner. He said he wants to meet real love. - I think that's what they all say. (laughing) - Well, dude. - They all say that, right? - Either we take him to John and Viddy's or (blows raspberry) - Oh, that's true, that's true. - You are, you aren't screwed to me, you know that? - Yeah, it did have to feel that. Like we should be extra nice to him. - Yeah, yeah, I don't want to. - 'Cause we don't know, we don't know. - I don't want to read about a Westfield Mall in Jersey, getting fucking lit up. - Oh my God, that would be the end of our podcast. - He's wearing a bad friend's merch shirt. (laughing) No, TMZ. - Oh my God. - Did you see the mugshots of the guys that robbed the Louvre? - No. - This is unreal. Look at how hot these guys are. - How are you? - I'll be the judge. - Is this a movie? - Well, that's Chase Crawford. (laughing) - No, but they're saying he looks, that's him on the right. That guy. - Wow. - Look at his, oh my God. - Well, come to Hollywood. - Yeah. - They're gonna cast this guy soon. You know what, someone is gonna bust him out of jail and put him in a movie. - Yeah. - Remember the model, remember like the hot model that we-- - We started like two beyond black stuff. - We should make a move. I got it. We bust him out. Mangione, right? - Yeah. - You know what, with the two brothers or the boss, well that was the young brother from the Boston Marathon, what's his name? - Oh. - It's our Naya. - Well, we'll leave that guy in there. - Oh, well, he's cute though. - I know. - Is he, is he? - Yeah, Jeremy Meeks. - He's already an actor now. - He's famous, right? He got like famous. - Wow. - Okay. - But go back to the mug shot of the guy that robbed the Louvre. I can't, I mean, honestly though, look at that guy's face. - Yeah. - That guy's a thief. - Yeah, look at the neck proportions. - How easy would it be for this guy to get an older woman who's rich to give him money? Brother. - Right. - You don't need to rob. - Yeah. - You don't, what does it say? This is one of the two, right? That's one of the two. Where's the other guy? Is the other guy, they keep showing him. So obviously the other guy is not, no, he's sexy too. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Is that big sea? (laughs) - I went to Paris to rob the Louvre. I stole Mona Lisa. - Why is that happening? Hot guy's doing this. - Why are hot guys robbing? - Yeah. - When you, you look at Kyle Rittenhouse. - Hollywood's dead. - You're like, you get it, right? - Yeah. - You look at Rittenhouse, you're like, yeah. But when hotties are doing it, what's going on with our world? - It's diversity. You know, it's killing that stuff. - This is DEI. - Right. - DEI is like enough us goes. We need to start getting hot guys to rob. - Right. - This is the, this is the fucking, this is the lib contingency added again. - Oh my god, they're hot. So are they in trouble? - A little bit. - Yeah. - Uh-oh. - They used a crane to like-- - But they didn't kill anybody. - They didn't do it. No, they didn't do it. - Oh yeah, that crane company is from Germany. - Yeah. - Their ads is like, you know, in and out, faster than whatever. Like they're selling through the roof. - Well, you might as well market, use the marketing. These guys stole a crane and then they hoisted the ladder up to the window. Dude, it was in, it's in broad daylight. I mean, it was like in the middle, you can see it. It's not like it was like hidden and sneaky. They just put the crane up to the window, walked in and came out. - And so they got the merch? - They got merch. - Well, I mean, that merch, but they got, well, at the lieu one, they got paintings and stuff. What is it? - No, just jewels. - Jewels. - They got jewels. - Our Rudy Jewels. - And then they, she was in there. - Then they got out. - And they escaped. - And they escaped and then they caught on. - But some rat, somebody ratted him out. - Oh, who's the rat? Google the rat. - Google the rat? - Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, go back. I'm sorry, I wanna see that real fast. It says, the heist is valued at 88 million euros. That's 102 million Americans. - Wow. - Eight pieces of historic French jewelry. Fuck, the French, who cares? - Yeah. - No, we love the French. We love the French. - He came this close to getting away. - I know. That's amazing. - I should have let him go. - I would start small if I wanted to rob. - What would you rob? - Well, I would start like, like my high school days, like Kit Katz and, you know what I mean? - Oh, yeah, yeah. - And then you would slowly go, okay, I got away with that. And the next thing you would rob is like, shoes from pay less shoes or something. - Yeah. - Right? Like I got loafers. - By the way, that's why they went out of business. (laughing) - Oh yeah, yeah. - Everyone stole from that place. - Oh, the next one is, you know, if you go to San Francisco, you went to the CVS where everything is locked up now. - You think I went into a CVS in San Francisco? I went from my hotel to the club to the hotel to the club. - Oh, I went to a CVS. - I did not walk outside. We were both in San Francisco and the CVS, you know how in L.A., half the things are locked up. And fucking San Francisco CVS, right? - That's all. - Toothpicks locked up. - Well, those are wet. - Yeah, oh, yeah. - That's how they broke into the Louvre. - Yeah. - I mean, everything. - Yeah, but I will say the city. - Ben-Gay locked up. - Well, I buy a lot of Ben-Gay, I'll tell you this. - It's funny. - It's locked up up there. - What? - Chips. - Yeah, it's crazy. And then there's so many of those buttons. - Who loves chips? - I wonder. (laughing) - All of us. - Yeah, all of us. - All of chips. - Yeah. - And then there's one person, some poor Filipino lady where you have to, she just happened to be. You know, you're pressing the button, but you have to imagine there's 40 buttons being pressed throughout the fucking-- - Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Liverpool. - It's helping now. - She has a good nail. - She's the key master. (laughing) - She's got 50,000 keys or under neck, just running through the fucking, like, yeah, what about this? Why don't you just get one guy per aisle? - Yeah. - You know what I mean? Like, dude, I'm the fucking, you know what I mean? Deodorant guy. - I'm the serial boy. - Yeah, you'll be serial, I'll be deodorant. And I have all the deodorant keys, right? McCone, I don't know what you do. Okay. (laughing) - What's going on? Are you stunned? - I thought he was going to tell me what I was going to do. - No, he's, he doesn't. - He's giving you the option, I'm the CVS fucking manager, I go, what do you want? What do you want to do? Like, what I'll do, what? - I'll do the condoms. - Oh, fuck, okay, give him the condoms. - Why, because you don't use them? - Yeah. - You'll be fun to monitor that one versus the other ones. Keep an eye. - Can I get a McCone in love? I was introduced to a new friend of his recently. - It ended. later that evening. Never mind. Wait, you found love and then you ended it. Well, I met up. We went to the Dodger game and we afterwards I said, Hey, we're going to walk down the hill because you can't get a fucking Uber. I was like, we're going to walk over the hill and probably go to shortstop or grab a beer just hanging out. And then so we went to little joy and I said, come meet us. And this guy, this is how nervous he was in front of this girl. I haven't seen him like this in a long time. I was pretty hammered. And I was just giving him cash, just handing him cash, like get her a drink, get her, go get her food. And he was nervous. I could tell his when he showed up late. I go, where did you go? He was late. He goes, I thought you said little boy. I'm like, there is no little boy. There's no little boy bar, dude. There's little joy and it's literally across from your house. Well, you know what I did on the flight to San Francisco. There was a attendant, a flight attendant. She was beautiful. So I wrote her a letter. Oh, yeah. Restraining order now. No more delta flight. The guy next to me is back. Yeah, I was sitting next to the business man. Excuse me, sir. Do you have a pen? He's like, yes, young man. I have a pen. He's me the pen. So I take the, um, you know, the throw up back, the barf bag, the barf bag love note. Right. And I wrote this like, like, you're so pretty. And you know, here's my number, this and that, my Instagram, everything. Right? Yeah. Nothing. Well, you check your requests and all that stuff. You checked it. I've been checking it for days. But did you get her name? Was her name on her name tag? No. No, no. I looked at the, you know, when you do DMs, you're not a single guy, but I know I go through it. You siphon through all the profile pictures. Nothing. Yeah. And you know, and you take a risk like that. But it was, she was so pretty Andrew that I had to take a risk. That's really, she must have been this small, she must have been a smoke show. She was a smoke show. What airline are we talking? Alaska. Oh no. Was she a laskin? No, she was just a, a white girl. She was so attractive. And I thought, you know, me, you know, she smiled at me and this and that. So, you know, listen up Alaska airlines. Wait, wait, wait, wait. If you didn't talk to her, you just wrote her a letter. That's like high school stuff, like, wow. And I put checkmark. I like checkboxes. Do you like me? Yeah. Sort of. Oh, that doesn't work. Self sabotage. Yeah. And the, and the thing with the hand that was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She. Well, last airlines is easily honeyble. Anybody out there that works for Alaska. There's a flight out of Burbank that goes to SFO. Oh, she didn't find me a track. Sure. She did. You're very attractive. No, there's lots of rich famous guys in first class and Bobby's just one of them. So she has a pick. Oh, that could be it. She's getting a lot of bar. Exactly. You got to stack a bar. Yeah. I mean, you, you, I mean, right? Would you take a risk like that? I don't know. No, because I feel like you'd be called like lame or something in a group text after. Oh, so what you're departing the plane, there's no time to talk. They're at work. It's not time to talk to girls. So you can, you can never see again. No, you think people don't, you think that never happens. I don't want to be a part of that. That's you're not interested. No, I don't want like to be made fun of in public or someone like filming me like, look at this guy asking this girl out. I'm afraid you don't want to end up on a TikTok. Yeah, that's scared. Okay. So I'm a flight attendant. Exactly. Get ready with me when I talk about a creep, my group. And then they do a breakdown of it. Yeah. I know that I've seen, I've watched, I've little, there's flight attendants who do TikToks and I, I see them sometimes. And they took a path. Oh, she could take my fucking bar from now. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That'd be so impressive. But you didn't say anything. All you said was, yeah, I find you a trick. Well, what did you say? I drew a very detailed, you know, I mean, swastika. No, of my penis. No, no. So here, because 15 years ago, I was, I don't know what airport I was in, but I was sitting there and just a lovely lady sat next to me. And I think it was before I met Kaliila. And we had a conversation. And she was very pretty. Yeah. And very nice. And I never got her information. I always felt, I think about that. And then sometimes you, you know, you'll run through the airport. You'll just see some of you, guys, you'll lock eyes with a girl, a little smile. And you're like, Oh, that's a missed opportunity. And so from now on, I don't want to miss those opportunities. If I, if I feel like, that's cool, take them. Shoot that shot. What? You're smiling. I don't like it. Well, I'm just saying, without your glasses that you don't have, right? Like, you don't see that well, like two feet up more. So I don't know those smiles that you see are directed at you. You don't, what are you already imagining? You do have tremendously dogs should vision. You think everyone's smiling at you. Everywhere. Bobby. Dude, that made me so angry. It's so, it makes me so angry. I don't know what it is. I mean, welcome back, but I don't know, dude, you know, why don't, why don't you look up misconnections? Because I guarantee you there's a, there's a misconnections website. You know, is that Craigslist that does it? Starbucks and Santa Monica. It's zoom in. I am the Asian female that was hesitant to talk briefly over coffee about a month ago if around instill interest loves to have coffee again. This is like wildly sad. It's, it's beautiful, but sad as fuck. This is what I'm talking about. This is why you have to seize the moment, you know, and maybe I am blind and I can't see the smiles. Okay, but it doesn't matter because maybe one of them are a smile, you know. Looking for Sarah from Pasadena, I think. We should respond to some of these. We should just be Sarah. Well, you look, you got to shoot your shot. Yeah. You're single and free. You got to keep shooting your shot until you find love and it's out there. Yeah. Could it be on Alaska Airlines? Maybe. This guy needs to apologize. Asking the Italian girl on my dreams for an opportunity to apologize and landcaster. My only sin was to love you too much. I miss how it used to be. You never, you're never alone. I'll always be there if you need me. I still love you. Oh my god, these are so hard right here. Well, it's even sadder. It's that it's on Craigslist. I don't need, do people use Craigslist heavily now? I don't think anybody uses that anymore. Facebook marketplace took it over. That's exactly what it is. There's a lot of love loss and misconnections in this world right now. Well, how do we, how do we mend that? How do we mend it? I don't know. I'll tell you what, there's a lot of love. San Francisco, holy fuck man. Those guys go fucking bananas. They have, they have the most fun. I got hit on a bunch. I got to hit out not one time while I was there. I can't, I was out. You got no guys. I get no gay love now. I set up at the bar to have dinner and I'm, oh yeah, I didn't go to any bars. No, dinner. I had dinner at the restaurant, but I mean the hotel bar. There's another thing to happen. I have a couple of things to happen, but another thing to happen was I get a text from some random number saying, hey, you speak at my meeting. That's cool, right? So I go, I didn't ignore it. And then, you know, I mean, he was kind of, you know, persistent. So I said, okay, I'll do it, you know, and so I show up. And so there's this one guy in the program. He's the biggest rock star, right? And he, he's a guy that I've met for the last 20 years. He has no idea who I am. It's almost, you know, how you meet somebody and you have, they act as if they've never met you before. You've met a bunch. Yeah, I mean, I've, I've been introduced to him, but it, it's just, I mean, he's an old or rock legend. Okay. And so now I'm speaking at this meeting and he's sitting there with his wife in the second row. He's never seen me talk, really. And I have a 30 minutes. I'm the main speaker, right? And so I'm like, all right, I'm gonna, you know, you're doing some time. You know, I was like, I got, I got, I got to hit this. Yeah. What's your, what's your opener? My opener is so cheesy. I can't, I don't want to do it because here's the thing is that I have to, um, for the fans. All right. Well, so what you're doing is it's not just you can't go up there because there's this other comic that spoke once and he did his act literally. He did his standup and he lost the room. Half the people walked out and people, you know, a lot of people know I'm a comedian, so it's like, you can't go in like and try to be funny. Right. So you start with real. So yeah, so I started, I said, I just, first thing as I say, you know, I have to say that AA is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. True. You know, and, um, when I was 17 years old, I, um, luckily got, you know, a spiritual licking or a psychic change, you know, and, um, and then move on from there, you know, me about helping others and this and that, right? And but then I go into, I know my, my, you know, pitch is I can get funny. You can talk about my parents and stuff. Right. So I do start doing acts, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, and I'm doing it and I'm doing it and I'm doing pretty good. Yeah, it's like 350 people there, 300 people. That's a big, it's a big huge AA meeting. I look over and the guys, oh, he's dead. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, he didn't hear a word you said. Yeah. But anyway, um, yeah, he, but, you know, I, um, my fantasy would be, you know, I mean, you know, come over to my house, you know, I mean, come over, yeah, to the house. Yeah. And then he, you know, and then it's like, you know, he was an original signs, you know, whatever. I don't know. I think you're thinking, you know, I think you keep, you know, I want to have that moment of like you, like you in Taylor Swift. You know, like he says something funny and I'm like, very funny. I want that phone. Yeah, everybody. he wants that photo right I've just you and Obama or somebody you had a redemption with another rock legend the other night at the comedy store oh that's right I had another redemption who I think I could say it is kiddo you redeemed yourself with Anthony yeah like now he's you're back in his good yes did you speak to him for a while yeah oh yeah and it was magical give yourself copy of something no but I I always will like this almost but you think that's good Domino's hey man you know what dude what baby I love two things in life let me guess specialty things and pizzas right what what a dominoes do do they do specialty pizzas they do both are you serious combo dude and just get check it out dude what look at this red box here don't just you eat box you know what it is what extra bagonza I already took a bite here I already had a piece but I'm gonna have another bite of this extra bagonza this is extra bagonza a super loaded deluxe pizza with pepperoni ham Italian sausage beef fresh onions fresh green peppers fresh mushrooms black olives all sounds between two layers of provolone and cheese made with 100% real mozzarella I'm drooling right now I'm drooling I got a couple of really good pizzas on my table right now and this one especially this is what I think it is that is the spicy chicken and bacon ranch ladies and gents this thing is phenomenal I love how especially because I like a little spice in a kick and they drizzle with a little buffalo sauce of course is made with a hundred percent real mozzarella and in here they got that grill chicken breast smoked bacon and jalapenos probably one of my favorite combinations of food layered on delicious crispy crust ooh damn I know you know they have other ones you know Wisconsin oh oh my god they have the Wisconsin they got they got the six cheese the Wisconsin six cheese and also your favorite city Memphis Memphis barbecue chicken wow and we got we got we got how no lulu who I don't know who I am is up there as well specific that you did they got so many different kinds of dominoes now between the spinach and fat of the extra baganza the meat so they also got yo filly cheese steak dude yeah yeah yeah use over there go get a filly hogi cheese steak they got the filly cheese steak pizza delicious so yeah if you're at home and you hungry get yourself some dominoes dup.com did you know there's a website that shows you identical versions of expensive products for way less it's called my friend dup.com no I have heard of this by the way because you a lot of people are doing tiktok shopping people are buying stuff up tiktok shop and I'm telling you you're paying way too much for all that stuff I was able to find some fun stuff that I wanted to buy on tiktok a little when he's a little cleaners for my windows for my car and it was it was I don't know much cheaper I think it was like 30 or 40% cheaper than it was on the internet all you have to do it's very very simple all you have to do is type in dup.com forward slash before any product url and it instantly shows you similar more affordable alternatives all you do is just go to dup.com and pace url url or even upload a product image and it's going to show you the cheapest version possible dup.com exposes the markup so you're not paying double just for the same name that's right that's the best part dup.com is 100% free to use by the way no cost to you seriously what do you have to lose to try it out the holidays are very expensive and they're here and inflation is up so why not go to dup.com show yourself the best price for yourself or dup.com really is the best holiday shopping hack just type in dup.com forward slash before any product url in your browser and boom it will instantly find you more affordable alternatives perfect for gifting they even have an app and a browser extension you can download no account required no sign up required it's completely free to use stop overspending on brand names and start saving on holiday gifts with dup.com immediately it's men's health awareness month and talk space wants to know how you feel guys this November prior to your health by prioritizing your mental health with talk space can I talk to you please yeah every Thursday you know we have the schedule my therapy you always go to therapy without places like talk space I'm not I'm a goner yeah yeah I think it's very important it's extremely important like I can be costly by the way it can be and thank you for talk space is affordable and in network with most insurance providers and we are a big proponent of talking to someone on this show and talk space therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans like I said and you can easily sign up online to get paired with a licensed therapist who's going to fit your needs well typically within 48 hours and you can always switch providers at no call talk space makes getting help convenient because you can make your appointments from the comfort and privacy of your own home yeah that's right you can even talk it out between sessions by sending text video or audio messages to your therapist there's more to men's health awareness month than just mustaches talk space is here to help you with therapy on your terms as a listener of this podcast you're going to get $80 off your first month with talk space when you go to talk space dot com slash bad friends and enter the promo code space 80 that space 80 SPA CE 80 to match the license therapist today go go over to talk space dot com slash bad friends enter the promo code space 80 and you have a new movie coming out all all I get the tiktok is all his movie what movie the magic movie every other ad is the magic movie that you're in the movie yeah you are in the magic movie I'm in one scene you're in the movie and then you disappear yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm in one's fucking it doesn't matter you're in the movie well and whenever I see that I got my boys in this I'm so proud of them shut up now I'm being really I'm real that's good elite stuff you know how little movies are being made right and for somebody in our ecosystem I stand up you know I mean an actor that gets into anything is a big deal that let's have a come on man next man step into your glory then what happens in it what do you think in the movie no now you see me yeah and now you don't I pop in and I pop are you a patron what is it you I mean you send an NDA you can talk about your role well I'm in the crowd and I'm yelling at I'm yelling at them on stage they're all on stage Eisenberg Woody Woody and I love Fisher no Morgan's not there yeah yeah and I love Fisher I love Fisher yeah the Woody was you talked to me about can I have Woody with the coolest thing was meeting Woody I was fascinated I'm just I wanted to meet him so did you know who you were no no no no no but he but but the director introduced me he's like oh he's a comedian what he's like I love comedes I he's like he does a podcast he's like I have a podcast I was like yeah and then he was like did you say that your podcast that does better numbers and his yeah I mean does it I checked on YouTube does it no I didn't look it up I actually have no idea I don't does he do does he have a potter is he's just starting it but he was just talking about the world he's fascinating oh yeah him and him and him and dancin yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't know rad dude very nice guy I'm I'm more broken up right now because my boy got his title stripped away my good friend good to be Prince Andrew they good one took it away man good one let's go back to the movie now I see what you're trying to do you want to go this way I have no I have nothing to say about the movie it was fun I mean I'm in one quick scene it was awesome I mean it was a Budapest we talked about we talked about going to Budapest it was great I'm gonna see it I'm gonna I hope it's good yeah I don't know I know nothing this is one of those things where you touch it and you leave I don't I have no idea I get in there and then they're like thank you goodbye although Budapest film crew probably the best film crew I've ever worked in my no I'm not kidding no I know I did it shocking they're amazing they're so fucking good they're so great they're on top of everything and you're like oh I don't need that hot too some of them yeah some even some of the girls too but it was really no it was a great time but yes I'm gonna go see the beautiful architecture people go see it some of it half the city is yeah the other half is in ruins it's in ruins yeah but I'm I'm more concerned about all these Japanese bears getting loose I was thinking about you the other day I wanted to call you yeah if I've been seeing that they're overtaking Japan yeah Bracka bear everywhere yeah I wonder why because they're not having as many children now I think they're overpopulating because they're not being controlled there's no hunters so they're they're I think they're inviting hunters to come help I kill them because they're killing people I know but just yeah can you gather them them up and then put them in an area of offence to an area where this is black country black bear country Germany Germany this is Baltimore protean asleep yeah well I'm just saying like create a town you know I mean all right town for black bears all the black bears go there yeah and you stay there yeah don't drink out of the white bear fountain according to the japan times 12 people have been killed more than 100 others are injured nationwide just this year alone wow it's pretty crazy yeah whoa that black black bears are gnarly look at that they're getting more aggressive yeah like I apparently they're they're showing up and like trying to get into people's houses it's fucking rap Japan's hunter population has been shrinking people don't hunt 60% of licensed hunters now are over 60 so there's no kids are doing it yeah I would just gather them up and bring them somewhere like there's there's other islands around right you put them on boats yeah put them on boats and bring them that Okanawa that's a pretty populated yeah put them on boats like we can call it almost odd whatever you want to do we want to do it no put them down to yeah Okanawa's they already did that once Okanawa you know what I mean yeah but there's there's probably other islands around Japan where they can you know I mean put the bearers in cage him okay so you think I don't kill - Feeling animals is not my thing. - Yeah, but if they're killing people, you gotta protect your population. - What's the survival of the fit as well? - Oh yeah, we have guns, so I guess we have guns. - They don't get guns at all. - I mean, they do have guns in Japan, but not like that. - Yeah, wow, they're pretty big. And they're trailing people, huh? - And they don't look Japanese at all. - Yeah. - I thought they'd look a little bit more Japanese. - Well, what can you just get their guide to do it? - Who's that? Who's their prime minister or whatever? - No. Huh. - Godzilla. (laughing) - Release Godzilla, dude. (laughing) Godzilla will fuck that thing up, no? - We call on you to help us, Godzilla. - Yeah, yeah. Or Mothra, I mean, you know, Mothra can pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck. - How many bears do you have? - I have a stuttering problem. - AI, how many bears can, how many bears versus Godzilla? How many bears would it take for Godzilla? - Yeah. - I wonder what the scale would be. No number of normal size bears can take out Godzilla. See, you're right. - Yeah, he could wipe out probably a million of them. - Well, let's get, let's reenact, let's get him out here. - Or Mothra would be easier because he, Mothra can fly and just pluck them from the ground. - Yeah, pick them out of the sky, throw them in the ocean. - Throw them in the ocean. - Yeah, that's actually a smart thing, you know. - Well, get on it, Japan, what are you guys fucking more? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Don't, you know, cage those Mothra, they gotta be released. - Little tiny jeopardy. - Unless we saw Mothra. - He's been, he's been out. I think he had an injury, like an MCL tear, something he's been out. He's uninjured, reserved. - We're bringing Yamamoto and Otoni and baseball bats and go over there. - Congratulations to the Dodgers. - Oh yeah, the Dodgers, incredible. - You were in your Dodgers hat today, go you. - It's heartbreaking to see Blue Jays fans out. I just feel so bad for them. - Nope. - Why? - You, S, A, you, S, A, you, S, A. - S, A, you, S, A, you, S, A. - The fuck with us, Canada. - I know, but, you know, they were leading for most of the game. - Yeah, they blew. - They're in home turf. - They blew it. - And they, you could just see them just like, just not being able to get over the line. - I actually loved it, dude. They meant, I loved it, dude. It was fucking great. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was, it was kind of wild to watch. It was really, 'cause I was in San Francisco when they won and SF fucking hates the Dodgers. - I know, the Dodgers. - They were so mad. - So Tuesday, the sky came up to me. He goes, "Hey, I'm fun with Theo." I go, "Okay." And he goes, "I'm the new manager of the Giants." - The team manager? - Yeah, I just got hired as my first year. I'm starting work next week or something, but I wanted to. - Starting work next week? - I don't know what it was. - That's not how they taught. - Yeah, that's, but that is, give me the name. - Tony. - Tony Vitelok came to my show Tuesday. - Seriously? - Yeah, with his girl. - Wow. - Yeah, super nice. I mean, I didn't do that well, but, yeah, Tony Vitelok came. Really nice guy. That's fucking rad. - Yeah, I mean, it's no Taylor Swift, but, you know. - That's the manager of a bad sports team. - Not bad. - Are they bad? - No, they're okay. - They're fine. I mean, it's Newy. I mean, I told him, I go, you have a shot, right? He's a manager, he can rearrange, they don't have control. - It's baseball's money. The Dodgers have all the fucking money. Soccer's the same way, isn't soccer the exact same way? - I don't know. - There's no cap on soccer, right? - Yeah. - You guys have a salary cap? No, so it's the same thing. So why are the best teams the best consistently? They have the most money. - Yeah, I'm gonna see on you. - If there's no salary cap, that's why people hate the Dodgers. The Dodgers spent the most fucking time. 12 years ago, Lester City won the Premier League, right? - Yeah. - And they were the worst team, they have no money, right? They had no, they came from the championship, straight to the Premier League. No star, Jamie Varty, which is the one guy. - I've seen that name, I know that. - Yeah, and they won the Premier League. - That didn't happen in America, because of the refs. It's under. - And we have, you know, teams like Manchester City and Chelsea, Roman and Bravo Vitch owned Chelsea. He's like an oil baron from Russia. I mean, they have all the money in the world, and Lester still won my point being is that you can still be a thrifty manager and look at stats and go, you know what I mean? This kid, I know, he's in a household name or, you know what I mean? But I think he's perfect, you know what I mean? - No, I know what you're saying. I think that may happen in soccer in baseball, unfortunately, now, that day. There was a guy Billy Bean for the Oakland A's and he kind of revolutioned them. You never see money ball? - No. - With Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt, you can see the movie was fucking phenomenal. - That's great. - But it was about the story of this, of what you're saying. He kind of like an iconic manager who literally kind of revolutionized the way you could pick players and get them young and do it. But it's a big money game now. It's all bullshit, it's all money game. Like that's why people fucking, that's why those guys really hate the Dodgers. - Yeah. - They got the most fucking money. And I get it. It was like, for years as a kid, the Yankees for me. It was always the Yankees. I was always like, the Yankees are unstoppable. - Oh my God. - 350 million dollars. But this summer, what Arsenal did was, if I can talk soccer for a second. - I'd love it. - And wait, let me ask you a real question. So, Lester Sidney, is that what you said? - Yeah. - So, some of the players, are they from the area as well so they have pride in. - Local. - So, this is the thing that we don't do anymore either, right? - Yeah. - So, most of these kids are fucking from elsewhere and you just play with the team that you play. The cool thing about soccer that I love is that, you see these local guys play for their squad. They're city, there's like pride. - We also have a youth program. - Yeah. - And Bokaiosaka, Ethan Wanyeri. Some of these players are Lewis Skelly. They're all, Lewis Skelly is 18 and he's in the main team. - He plays with the main team of Arsenal. Wanyeri is 18, 19th place and they're all from Hellend. They're all from the academy. And our big star Bokaiosaka is from the academy as well. So, it's like, they've been there as kids. - Right, that's why we have the pride. There's semblance of pride. We don't have that. I'm jealous of that. You used to have a player, when I was a kid, like, Jordan was Chicago to us. He stayed in Chicago, right? Like, there used to be kind of a vibe. You stayed there as long as you could. Now, these guys don't give a fuck. They're gonna go wherever they're gonna go, whoever's got the best check and that's how it goes. - That's sad. - Well, that's just the, but the business did that. These guys don't really have, it's almost like you're putting a position when the Dodgers called Shohei and they gave him $700 million. Yeah. I mean, how else is he gonna pay for those gambling? - Let me ask you a question. So, this summer, Arsenal FC, should Liverpool, right? Spent so much money. They got this guy, ESAC, and all these guys, and they spent $150 million per player. - Jesus. - ESAC cost over 100 million pounds. - Jesus Christ. - But what Arteta did was, he bought people from leagues that people were, like, teams that were like, people were, like, this summer, like, 30 million for that. Who is this guy? Like, we bought a defender named Muscarra. No one had really heard of him. - But he knew. - But he knows that he would fit right into the team. And so now, Arsenal has a backup for every position that's just as good. Whereas Liverpool spent $2,3 millions at dollars on two, three, four players. They don't have the backup, you know what I mean? And it's about stats and about, like, you know what's gonna work in our system, you know? - Right. - Yeah, yeah. - No, I think it's fascinating. - But I don't know much about baseball, so you're saying that baseball, there's no. So the Dodgers doesn't have, like, a youth program. - Well, they have a farm system, right? We have a farm, you have a farm league. Like, you have AAA, but you do have a system. But these guys are quick to get rid of them and trade them and especially if they can't afford them. You know what I mean? You don't have scouts. - They do. They do, they do. - For the kids. - Oh yeah, they scout. - Like, 12-year-old. - Oh yeah, they scout middle school and high school. Then you bring them to the Dodgers youth academy and do they have that? - Well, yeah, they do have training facilities. - And then you guys live here. But most of the time-- - We go to school here. - Yeah. - That's more a non-American thing. Like, the NBA just started that in India not long ago. - Yeah. - In India? - Yeah, 'cause they're looking for the next seven footer. - But don't play basketball, man. (laughing) I wonder who, I wonder let me play. - Yeah, yeah. - Listen, Ranjit, you're five foot seven. (laughing) I can be a standard, but I can't be a starting center. It is fucking funny that the NBA has so much money overseas because like, guys like Steph Curry, he's probably bigger in China than he is. I mean, he's global superstar. But like overseas, there's so much money in the NBA overseas 'cause Asian kids fucking love the NBA. We can't sell the NFL to almost anybody, but the NBA, you can sell the fucking everybody. Everybody loves, I mean, those guys go to China. They do like, like, stuff in those guys. They'll go do like a summer camp in China and make like $30 million for like a weekend at camp. Just because he's, you know, they're massive overseas. I'm big here, but still. - Can I ask you another question about sports? - Lebron James. - Did I ever tell you that story? When I was on a boat. - You met him? - No, no, I was a boat in Europe and the guys like, you know, Lebron James, I was like, yeah, he goes, he will stay there when he come here. That place, he will stay. I was like, he's either now, he goes, no, but we will watch. (laughing) I guess he stays at the same, like, and they're like, Lebron James, this is Lebron James. - Oh, wow, wow. - What did you ask me about basketball? - No, I wanna talk about, 'cause now, you know, I'm really kind of getting into baseball a little bit this year. - Love. - Yeah. I had no idea why it would be exciting, but now, you know, watching the World Series and the playoffs and stuff, I get it. - It's a nerd game. - But I don't get football. - I don't expect-- - American football. - Yeah, I want you to convince me that it's good. Why is it good? - Well, you know, baseball's my number one. So I can't, that's how, I agree with you. But baseball is like soccer and the fact that like, these are all, this is all chess moves. - Yeah. - Soccer's coordinated chess moves. Baseball is calculated statistical moves. Trying to advance players in different positions to the likelihood of scoring and positioning. Football is that too, it's fucking awesome, but I you like it because you like, you like these little technical moves and I think that's what you like. Football is more like pure raw athletic strength and talent and ability going at each other. they're at full speed as hard as you can. There are strats, of course there's strategy to it. It's hard, I don't know. Well, selling you on football's tough, you don't like, you don't like violent sports at all. - I do, UFC, I was a big fan of it. But you know what show that I've been watching on Netflix, everyone, I command everyone in this room to watch it. There's a show called Physical 100. - Bring it up. - But it's Asia, right? - Oh, I'm out. - So it's basically, so it was a Korean, yeah. So that's the Philippine team. - That's Manipacki? - Yes. So like it's Australia, Indonesia, Korea, Japan, Turkey, right? - Look at the tits on that guy. - Yeah, Turkey, Thailand, and they're all competing, right? - Other Thailand, a bunch of ladyboys on that. - No, but I think Indonesia or Thailand does have a ladyboy on it. - It should. - But it's, but the Philippines American people. Why? 'Cause man, he's so small. - He's so tiny. - What is the competition? What do they do? - Well, there's only four episodes right now, but it's basically, the first one was, they have these four platforms, circular platforms, right? And there's I think eight countries, right? - Okay. - And each, so they basically, there's a gigantic circle, and in the middle of this dirt mountain, it's a gigantic circle. See if you can see these. - He's bringing it up right now. - It's a trailer. - Okay. - It's the trailer for it. - Yeah, yeah. But it's not, it's not show, 'cause they're gonna show the whole thing. Show the, oh yeah. So you can see the circular thing right there. - Right, right. - Okay. - So you have eight countries and then, you have to dominate a circle. - Wow. - So the most people on the circle, right? Right? If you have like, - It's king of the hill. - King of the hill, but it's like, how many others, one, two, three, I think there's five. - This is rad. - Right? But it's like, when you're watching the first round, you can see Manipaka just flying through the screen. (laughing) Yeah, it's pretty brutal though. - Can they punch? - You can't punch, but it gets pretty scrappy, dude. It's a really fun show, you can hold down. - It's a fun show to watch, yeah, yeah. - I'm in, I'm already in. - It's fantastic. - But there's some countries that, I mean, that would just, like US, we would just-- - Well, yeah, that's why they don't want us a part of this shit. We get the most lunatic out of our mind. - Guys. - X military, like just ready to fucking kill it will. - But every team has famous people on it, like, you know, so the Australian team has Robert Whitaker. He's one of the best UFC fuckers, you know, Whitaker, and then that's fucking Mongolia, they're badass. - Well, let them get out. - And look at Genghis Khan. We call him Genghis Khan in the middle. Look at, they have Genghis in there, dude. Look at him. But it's a really fun show. - Physical 100. - Yeah, physical 100. Asia. Ridge, what do you got? Are you from the future world? - Well, I'm a little bit of a futurist. - Do you have a time machine? What'd you get there? - I'm buddy, that's a Ridge wallet. Ridge makes one of the most durable, cool. And also, I love the colors. I'm big into the colorways. This is Hunter Green. I just named that, I don't know if it really is, but it looks like Hunter Green, but Ridge is incredible, man. They're lighter, they're stronger, they're more durable, they hold cash in cards, they fit in your pocket, and probably one of the best things about Ridge wallet. It has got RFID protection in there, so you're not gonna get robbed by some scammer who's got a machine stealing card numbers. - Well, Ridge has been perfecting the wallet for 12 years, my friend. Everything is better on the Ridge 2.0. It's 10% lighter. Every gram matters in a Ridge wallet, 2.0. They found the perfect balance. - That's right, they get over 50 colors, by the way. They also have NFL MLB college teams, perfect for holiday gifting. If you don't know what to buy, your old man, buy him his favorite sports teams in a Ridge wallet, 'cause you know he's keeping cash on him, and they got over 100,000 five star reviews. Ridge wallet is a gift that people really do want to receive. - For a limited time, Ridge is having their huge Black Friday sale, head to ridge.com, Ridge, R-I-D-G-E.com to get up to 47% off your order. - This is by far the biggest discount they've given all year. That's Ridge.com for up to 47% off your order during their biggest sale there. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Please, please support our show. Tell them that the bad friend sent you. - Shopify, whoa, we would not have a business without Shopify. We love Shopify. - We do, they make everything so simple, 'cause they have that point of sale system. It's a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across to up to 1,000 locations. And we're lucky, because we do it mostly from the internet. We ship you guys shirts and hats and hoodies and all that stuff. And thanks to Shopify, their POS system makes it so simple and easy that even dumbbells that produce this show like Carlos and Macon and Fancy can do it. - In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY Business on Shopify's POSC real results, like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set survey. - And here's the deal. Acquiring new customers, it's expensive. It's hard to do, and it costs a lot of money for small businesses. But with Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. So you know where your customers are, what they're really looking for, what they're actually clicking on and what they're gonna take home with them. - Get all the big stuff for your small business, right? With Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/badfriends. - That's Shopify.com/badfriends. Once again, Shopify.com/badfriends. - I don't know, to get you into football, honestly though, we'd have to embed you with the team and your team left your city and came here, which is, you're here now. - Yeah, the charger, yeah. - Well, maybe you could be a charger fan. - You put it for Tottenham for you. - Ooh. (laughing) Ooh, something came out? - Yeah. - Oh, that's a, that's a tonsil stone. - Yeah. - No, don't put it in the dark. - Yeah, I like to, I like to. - There's a lot of things. - For minted. (laughing) - I had a exemptic verb. - That was a tonsil stone. - Yeah. - Do you get those all the time? - It's a tonsil stone, dude, it's soft, look. - Okay. All right. (laughing) - It looks like it. - It does, look exactly like a tonsil stone. - Yeah. - It's a small hard deposit, okay. - That's what I thought it was. - What? - Tonsil stones, it's just a breed they get stuck in those little, like, those little hangy things in the basket. - It's a tonsil stone, okay. - Did it smell, smell your finger? Does it smell? - Yeah, it smells like what I ate. (laughing) - What a crab. - It was crab? - It's a crab. - Oh, it's a piece of a crab. - Welcome back, fancy. - No big deal. - Yeah, I went there. I went to the fucking crab place last night and it fucked me up, bro. - What do you mean? - The bowling crab. It's too much sodium. - I can't do it. - It's too much. - I just don't like mass amounts of seafood. - Yeah. And then you gotta get the potatoes and the carrots with it, but it's like, and then if you go medium, like who, when did fire become a flavor? (laughing) - An element should not be able to, I don't wanna eat a sandwich, go, this is earthy, right? - Have you tried our new wind burger? - Yeah, a wind burger. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's delicious. - When did fire, who likes it? - You get fire, you know what I mean? - I agree. I hate to take, like when they do, it's a smoky thing. I don't want smoke, smoke tastes like you burnt it. - Yeah. - I don't want smoky anything. - Yeah. - They do that a lot with drinks now, too. They smoke on top of a cocktail. I don't want the smoke. - Yeah, or you could own a cosplay as right? They'd take the sliced tuna or whatever. They'd put it on a wooden plate, but then they put a thing over it. - Yeah. - And they stick smoke in there, like cedar wood. - I don't like that. - Yeah, and I'm like, I totally agree. I fucking hate that flavor. I don't know why they do that. Somebody, it's a culinary thing. It's gotta be like a cool, fancy culinary thing. And then that's, that makes, in the community, that makes it good. - Or don't put fucking, you know what I mean? Caviar on top of salmon. - No, the mom and the fucking kids. - Well, I don't eat the mom and the kids. - You never had chicken and eggs? - I refuse. It's the combination I can't do. - Oh, I'll do it. - Chicken and eggs. - I'll have, I'll have. - It's mom and baby. - Yeah, the family's all together. (laughing) - We'll get grandpa in there, then, then. - Might as well. - Yeah. - I'll take a ground patty of like meat with, you know, a full grown cow, and then it's mixed with like a baby calf, you know? Why not? It's called, again, what's wrong? Veal. Veal is delicious. - I can't do baby anything. - So you don't, you want him full grown before you eat him? - Well, I'll be honest with you, there's been a lot of guilt now, as of late, are we eating meat? - Why? - Like, TikTok algorithms. - Oh, a lib talk. He's on lib talk. (laughing) - We lost him to lib talk. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, people just raising cows and the cows cuddling with their owners. - Right. You've never seen that? - No, I mean, I've seen, yeah. - The kids on the lips. I love it. - Well, then you need to move to India. - No. - Like this. - It worshiped the cow. - Like this. This is like, ooh, look at that. Look at that, look at that. See how many smash burgers could you make? (laughing) - A lot, a lot. - Yeah, we can make a lot out of that. - I've done it. - Look at that. - Yeah. - Yeah. Those are free range, happy cows. - Yeah. - Yeah, you don't feel guilt. - No. - Because they're sentient being, like the other day, I went to your house, saw your dog. - Yeah. - Yeah. - They have the same human connection. - There's not enough meat on her, though. - I know. - She's tiny. That's why I have a tiny dog. - Brad Williams, it's beautiful. (laughing) - I know what you're saying. I get it, dude. I have this, I've had this moral dilemma before in my mind, but also, I really love red meat. I like it so much. - I do too, but it's like, you know what? I can't wait until let's like grow it. - Well, they're working, they're doing that now. What do you mean? We have that. - Yeah, but get to a point where it's like. - Tasting good. (laughing) - Get to it, it doesn't taste like shit. - Yeah, like, assessable, you know what I mean. - But it's all, we're all in beta with all this stuff. Like, this fucking home robot, they're pushing out. You know this thing? - Oh yeah, that thing, yeah. - That thing looks like it. - And then you have to have, do you know what they need to do? - A guy to control it. - Yes! - Yeah, it's insane. - Yeah, why don't the guy, why don't the guy controlling just do it? - I know. This is very dumb. - Yeah, a guy has to control that fucker. - And they want 20K for this thing. Is that how much it is? - Yeah. - The fucking thing I've ever heard. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna wait until that improves though. Yeah You know what I mean? Bobby would you like me to clean up the cat poop today again? Yeah, I don't want to keep asking to neo. I think it's the dumbest I watched the video of it You know what it did that blew my mind in that one promo video it does this it like wakes up He's like neo load the dishwasher and then it goes like this and it looks at its hands and that made me go Fuck because that's what I do if I'm like fucked up on drugs I always looked at my hands. Yeah, because you're like. Oh, where am I who is this fine? Imagine sleeping and then that's wake up Look at that. Oh, deal with the fuck. I need you to wake up Also, put a mouth on it. Yeah, I mean you get the eyes. What's how hard is it? Put them out. Let me get a little bit of morning head We're we are literally three years away from these things also being just sexed out It's like the neo programmers are like look sir. They're doing no chores. All that yeah, they've loaded not one dishwasher We're we're 10 years away from Probably 20% of the households having something like that in the house How many people have a Google device where you can talk to it in a complete music or how many have like a Alexa or whatever? Yeah, you do you do. Yeah, yeah, three out of five 10 years ago. You were like what are you talking not 15 years ago? But now in the future everything's gonna be automated. You're gonna talk to the microwave You're gonna be like might get the food from the fridge talk to each other and then put it in there and heat it up Yeah, and by the way, yeah, gonna be rad Fancy went home to Spain to go see family You were gone for what what two and a half weeks. Yeah, exactly two and a half weeks. Yeah, cuz I miss you every day I have it on my calendar Fancy gone fancy gone fancy gone fancy gone. I mean, we did miss you like crazy. I texted you a few times Just out. Yeah, I miss it. See you. Yeah. I finally joined Bobby's club What is that? Oh, yeah, it's a tough one man. Yeah It's I still At times. I just think about him, you know, it's it's so surreal that they're no longer with us Yeah, the worst thing was the bureaucracy of death, you know bureaucracy of death. Yes, that's a great band. Yeah Really it's a great bureaucracy of death so much stuff There's so much bullshit that comes along with death. Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's also a racket is what you're like the amount of money That happens when people die the amount of it's just it's fucking it's a racket. It's crazy Burst wedding deaths the three best best best businesses you can get into because it will never go away Yeah, if you want the most secure job in the world do burst weddings and deaths You will never not have work forever and they can and they fuck people over they rip them off Oh, yeah, everything was like that like my dad wanted to be cremated like like yours and we have to still pick a Coffin we why exactly that's why I asked well because that's how it is They're not gonna cremate it by itself, so you have to buy and they show you you're on the prices It's like how long is it gonna be there like just to go through the thing. Wow So basically they're like you have to pay for the coffin for them to be in it while they while they burn it right God, that's fucking crazy, but everything was like that insane. Yeah, and do you have the ashes? Yeah, I do you want to mix ashes with me? It's not a matter I still have better works it better just see what happened. You get a Spanish Korean goal What would happen that what would happen if you make their souls? Yeah, they probably they were just bump into each other They don't even know each other to be freaky. Yeah, it's merge in the afternoon. Oh you Where would you love to spread that your dad's ashes if you had like some some place in Italy? You know a place you love some my dad was an art history Professors or something that's fucking cool like anything Italian like it over in all of garden We go back to John and Vinny's if you got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could sprinkle your dad over the jumps out my budget is tight So yeah, maybe do you want to be burned? Yeah, okay. Yeah, my grandfather Who was like my literal hero I've talked about on the show. He always he always was like land land is for the living He would go past cemeteries. He'd be like this is fucking bullshit It's a bullshit way. It's like you don't need no one is immortal land is for the living get out of here Let the next people have the land Hmm. Why do you why do you have to plot land and be like I mean? I grew up like having to go to the cemetery and like you know people like it's a little surreal like cleaning the oh, yeah Now did your some people have a stone to have a tombstone do your dad how does he have one? No? No, no, my dad didn't want any of that. I your dad's the fucking man. I'm gonna go old school. Barry. There. Yeah right I'm just in case I'm just in case it's like like what if McCone wants to visit me? No, no We do but here's what you do you take the ashes you spread them in a place that means meaningful to you that you can visit often And then you see them all the time, but your little tidbits and actually at bits are all over the fucking place What I'm saying is is that my body will be in a place your body will be gone It'll be gone before you even before anyone. It's gone. It's you're not there anymore. You'll rot through the coffin You'll you'll rot to the coffin the bugs and the things will get in there They eat you that it dissipates into almost nothing. There's not there'll be nothing left That's so depressing I think it'd be cool to be buried just no coffin and actually just decomposing the earth Yeah, that's what they do that to they do those wraps those eat their called like eternal What do they call it? It's the tree ones. I'm I would do a tree one. Yeah, the famous actor did it There was a famous actor that did that right that he or he said because he got cancer that he wanted to do it But it's like an eternal they wrap you in this biodegradable thing and you kind of go back into the earth and it's all That's fucking rad that to me is very cool Yeah, just bearing a body is illegal. Yeah, wait a minute Seriously, like a felony. I mean you if you die, you can't just bury my cone in your backyard. I'll be right back Oh, dude speaking of that. This is fucking crazy. They just found in Vegas. Did you see that? 200 plus bodies or something buried in vague Yeah, you know, yeah, I know they finally found wow they finally found what was it funeral home? It was a funeral home that did it Now they're pinning it on a funeral home a funeral home recovers 300 plus piles of human remains outside Las Vegas What do you mean a funeral home took the bodies and buried it? No, they're what do you mean? There's a federal investigation zoom in who down a federal investigation on into who dumped more than 300 piles of human remains They think a funeral home did it. But why would they do that? It's probably cheaper than paying for the because there's got to be some sort of I bet you it's expensive to remove human remains There's probably a fee and they were like fuck this. We'll just throw in the desert I'm guessing. Wow Bureau of land management officially confirmed piles were human remains the department was actively investigating Cremain so they were all cremated cremated bodies Well, then what's 315 piles of dead bodies? Wow, that's so many. Yeah, there are rules to you know in in order to spread the ashes You know you want to do it in in the ocean you have to be I don't know how many kilometers in you can not just do it right there are laws you could scatter You're on your own property obviously right public land the rules may vary by the location national parks You got to get a special use permit. Mm-hmm. Who do you think is buried in this as Fredness but in a national park? Gotta be Roosevelt right. Mm-hmm. I mean wouldn't that make the most sense? Oceans and waterways But you can spread ashes sneakily a lot of people do that. Yeah people do it all time Well, people do you know people do a lot I've heard this that people go to like when they go to baseball games or soccer field soccer pitches or some that means a lot to them They carry a little bag and they they spread it out there. Oh cool. That that I think you would fucking the Emirates What is that someone's mom from bad friend's life That what are you being serious? Yeah, it's Luke's mom. This is oh this from London. No, no, it was from um I believe Pittsburgh. I can't believe we still have that. Yeah, we've had it for two years here We don't know what to do with them This is meaningful. Well, let's combine Luke's mom your dad and your dad. Yeah, this is what happened What if Luke's mom's hot? Yeah You're 12th of your dad's will be like fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that life Let's mix them dude. I see bone. Do you have some do you just have some of your dad He's not here in LA. He's not gonna make he's not gonna do it. Why I just think we should I guess to Koreans in Spanish always get along I think my dad and your dad would get along Koreans are a little obvious if so I don't know yeah a little holy shit Well, look at that Modern relations between South Korean Spaniards are very good characterized by increasing cooperation and cultural exchange Historically Spanish missionaries who first encountered Koreans described as peaceful intelligent Though a long period of limited interaction followed once they saw them once they were like they're very nice Like you gonna go back no chance Both countries have since forged a modern strategic partnership based on shared values like democracy and have experienced similar Histories of civil war and subsequent rapid economic growth. It is that is pretty fucking interesting I mean, it is it is kind of wild to think about The spreading of the ashes and what what does that do for the area that they're spread in I like when you go back to the east coast and you're in some old creepy fucking you're like it's gotta be bear I think the I think haunted should it's only because they buried stuff beneath it Like we're not native land. It's because they buried on native land. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna like yeah that area is haunted I'm always like well, they're under there. Mm-hmm You know, mm-hmm. I also saw Look Talk about country relations. I saw this thing this morning on the way to the airport about Finland In the Finland open prison program. These guys get to like come and go as they please. Yeah, they have cars It's fucking unreal. Yeah, they have cars. I was working out and then he went to he went to work He went to a cool plunge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this guy this guy. Yeah I murdered somebody He is in there for murder for murder one and yeah, and he's like joking on he's goes to a guard and he's like picking flat It's pretty it's wild. Yeah, I mean the idea of in Europe is that, you know, prison is a place to rehab Rehabilitate. Yeah, it's something that Americans do not believe in. No, no, but do you believe in it as a European? I think so Yes, I think it's a I think some people yeah, I mean obviously there's They might be some exception. We probably have the world most violent twisted criminals. I would imagine the U.S. is number one again at that. We have the most fucked up wild shit. Yeah. What crime? Let's say we're a government. We are kind of a little we're a little government. What crime is too much to do to the rehab? How about second degree murder? Second degree. See, look up second degree. No, let's say I'm a presenter. I'm going to present you a case. Yeah. All right. So I have a client here out. Welcome. What's the client's name? Alfred Simmons. And he came home from a trip early when do his house. Yeah. And his wife was having sex with two of his workmates. Where do they work? Costco. Oh, seriously? Yeah. I love corporate though. So this man. Okay. This man. This man comes home from work. Yeah. He finds his wife in bed with two of his Costco co-worker. Yeah. They're going at it. What position are they in? Oh, every position, my friend. Wow. So he's just sitting and watching. He's cucking. Is he cucking for a little while? Yeah. Well, his friend David is upside down. I don't know how they got the ropes tied around his ankles upside down on just the ceiling. But he's upside down. Wow. He's licking her. They're a push armpit. Please don't assume, sir. Sorry. Okay. And the other one. A little dwarf man. A little person. All right. And he's got marshmallows all over his body. He boiled down marshmallows, put it all over his body, right? And he's sort of just like on her chest and just getting the marshmallow juice on her on her breasts. He's got it. You know, I mean, region, right? It sounds more fun than that. It's pretty fun. It was a fun time. But anyway, this guy. This Simmons took a machete Simmons. What was Alfred? Alfred Simmons. Mr. Simmons. Mr. Simmons. I'm sorry. I call him Simmons. Yeah. He took a machete. Yeah. And he chopped up unfortunately. But what about the other man? They're fine. Okay. Yeah. So it was an unintentional second degree killing. It was non-premeditated. It was a second degree. Yes. Since it was a dwarf, right? We couldn't charge him with first degree. Yeah. But you could always get him for half degree. It's a half a murder. Yeah. We consider that and it's like a half a half degree murder. Half a person. Yeah. So anyway, um, he deserves rehabilitation. Okay. Good. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I heard you have a client, but I would say I would say this. Yeah. Yeah. You would need to have him make amends with the family with the family of the little person that was murdered. So you'd have to get him to go to find it. First of all, you got to find that tree. Well, we've had to buy him a plane ticket to get to Middle-Earth. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't even know how to. That's what I'm saying. We don't even know how to do that. So I heard you had a little client. I do have a client. Yeah. It's a toss. Yeah. Barba Duke. Uh, Mr. Barba Duke here. Well, based on the game, Alan Barba Duke. Okay. Uh, he's a, he's a doctor and a lawyer and a physicist. Oh wow. He's very well accomplished already. Then probably ready for rehabilitation. I don't know. Okay. Well, it's pretty egregious. Now he was eating lunch at a Jimmy Johns and a good sandwich. Freaky fast. And, uh, I will, I'll tell you he was eating lunch and he found a pubic hair in his sandwich. Oh, and he turned around and a bunch of the young teenage pimple face boys braces. They were laughing. Shit's lit, dude. What do you think about that, bro? Wow. Our pubes are in your fucking mouth, bitch. Oh, so these kids put their own pubic regions inside the sandwich? Yeah. Well, that is three teenage really uncalled four three and, um, wow. But Barba Duke, he took this the wrong way because he was having a flashback from the, what was his first name? Uh, what's Barba Duke's first name? Mr. Barba Duke. No, what's his first name? You said it doesn't matter. But Mr. Barba Duke had a flashback from his childhood where he was bullied when he was very young. I see. Many people in the neighborhood make him eat their pubes. So it was, um, pubed the Duke as it was a game understandable. Yeah. Mr. Barba Duke kind of had a flashback. Uh, he grabbed what did Mr. Barba Duke do? He grabbed one of the butter. He grabbed one of the bread knives. Um, and he slowly, um, cut up each of the teenage boys and he cooked them and they're still now serving some of them at Jimmy John's. It's, it's a new flavor. You know, Chipotle introduces something new every couple of months. Yes. Now, Jimmy John's introducing teenage boy. Okay. Uh, and he, well, this interesting that you would say that because it's like, first of all, um, you would think that once somebody's carving up one teenage boy, that the other teenage boys would run. He cut, he, uh, he dismembered all, he, he took the knife and cut off all their legs, with the butter knife, with a butter knife, a bread knife. Oh, bread knife. Bread knife seems difficult to do. Well, dude, you don't, Mr. Barba Duke was quite strong. He trained, he trained Taekwondo and, uh, sword mastery when he was in college. Okay. Well, I'm very, seen that done, but anyway, he's very skilled. Yeah. He's well skilled. What do you could think, guys? Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. You think he's good. Yeah, we're good. Yeah. He's good. Mr. Barba Duke, we're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Carlos doesn't realize he's Mr. Barba. In prison, can you wake up whenever you want to wake up? No, I think there's a, there's a bedtime, there's a wake up time, there's a yard, but I can't go. I'm going to sleep in. I'm going to mix up. You would, you would, prison would hurt you a lot. Well, I bet because bedtime, I want people to walk. I mean, honestly, then you'd have to get up and do shit. No, but I can't go. Hey, yo, prison guard. What's your name? Larry, prison guard. Yeah. Tomorrow. I'm Larry. Hey, Larry. All right. Tomorrow, you know, breakfast, all that stuff. We sleep in. No, wake up. You gotta do exercise and clean. Yeah, but I'll do that after lunch. No, well, we'll just beat you then. What do you mean? We'll just beat you. We'll physically come. I didn't do anything. I just want to sleep in. I tie a too bad. No cameras. Oh, shit. You'll beat me. Who's what? Huh? What'd you beat me with? What do you want to be beat with? But Tom, do you think they would beat me if they would make me get up in the morning, the military? Yeah. So fucking, that's what they do. It's work. You gotta go to fuck. You sleep early. Like, yeah, I'm, I'm going to sleep early. I think so. Do we even go to bed early? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think yeah. I don't know. I like sod as 11. Can you google it? I don't think, do they make you wake up? I don't think so. Of course they do. There's no, I don't think so. Yes, they do. No, this is not. Also, it depends on what level of prison you're in. Yes, you do have to wake up in prison around 6 a.m. Structure daily schedule includes mandatory head counts and work assignments. Yeah. I mean, they do, you gotta do shit. You're forced to do labor. It's, it's, you're, you're doing late. Yeah. Oh my god. They get paid. But they would let him do stand up and get out of it. Yeah. You know what I do. What? Fuck everyone. Yeah. You would get fucked. Whatever. Whatever it takes. I want to sleep in. You'd be bottom. How did you go? How did that Friday go? It was okay. I mean, I love San Francisco. The punch is great. And you were there before and they, you know, they talked all about you. Bobby was just here. That was a cool week. It was me Tuesday, Wednesday, the new Thursday Friday Saturday, right? And on Friday during the day, Matt Nayshoes was Doug Benson. How funny is that? No. Yeah, he did four p.m. Wow. He does like four 20 shows in certain cities. He'll do that. That's fun. At four 20 p.m. Yeah, I think he did Saturday before me, I think. That's a lot of fun. I didn't even get to fucking see him, though, because obviously he's on the road in and out. But yeah, no, that club punch was great. San Francisco is awesome. There is also a perception of San Francisco that that comics have sometimes where they're like San Francisco liberals. They were fucking. I feel the same. I said everything. It was rad. It's fun. That I, I, I just think San Francisco is misunderstood as an audience. Also, the homeless seem safer. They're not as naifey. Yeah, they're not as naifey. And they're having conversations with themselves, which is nice. That's not just all I got to do. You ain't got no clarity within this time frame. What do you mean? Come on. They're like talking to each other. Infinity stones, great magic. You know, I mean, I can't and man. And they're having conversations with each other. And so you're just kind of walking by. You can't add. No, yeah, you can't go. The mind frame is down below. And they're like, what you saying? You know, you can go down below. Yeah, but you, you can listen to them. They're not, you know, I mean, like naive, not nice. Shanky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need it. That would be funny to put in a homeless guy at an improv and sign him up for 101 or whatever over at UCB. Yeah. Just a homeless gets a frantic guy. And he just kills. He gets on SNL year two. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, crazy bones. But, um, but there is a lot. Do you see a lot of homeless? Yeah. Yeah. They're, they're so safe. Well, we live here. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen it. Fucking here. I love the homes here. Crazy. I saw one person in Spain in those two and I would kill them. You kill them. You get rid of them. You guys are, you got what do you do with them? What do you do with the homeless? Erplane and LA. The, I saw a couple of TikToks say about Japanese homeless. And the typhoons get them. The typhoons, that's what they do. That's real. The typhoons. Fuck them up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they look so cool. No, that's just a cool guy. No, it's like a famous meme because it really is a homeless dude. No, I wanted to start a clothing line called Hobo. And that was when I brought it to a company. That was the photo. I mean, you, I want to do a line of clothing that look like that. You wear that shit all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Balenciaga. Comment does that. Yeah. They, they get it off of that Russian dude. You know that Russian dude? Okay. Look up. Balenciaga. And then the Russian streetwear guy. That's right. Have you seen this before? No. You're going to love this guy. This guy right here. Right? He goes to thrift stores and he's influencing fashion, fashion trends. [BLANK_AUDIO] He's like a homeless guy in fucking Russia. Are they paying him? No, so they want to keep this man homeless just for his art ideas Smart. Yeah, yeah, don't let him don't let him in and they steal his fashion ideas by looking at his photos and he knows this look at He that's what he normally wears and then look what he did. I mean, it's credible. That's fucking dark. What was who's who the guy on the right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go back to some of these other ones I mean, do dope. No, yeah, he's got cool style. Yeah, good style Yeah, he's cool. Obviously he was artist of some kind. I don't know Harper, yeah, bizarre just Ukrainian magazine. Wow, it's incredible. It's crazy. They're just stealing from them. Oh, let me tell you something that happened. Yeah, oh my god You just piss me off. Yeah, so I Flying to San Francisco. You have a driver. No, how do you get to the hotel? Uber? Okay, why would the driver? I know you do Okay, yeah, he tells me yeah, you get the driver for me. I get a driver for you assign his deal. Yeah, you pay for my driver I pay for your everything. Okay, so anyway. No, he pays for his own Yeah, of course. Yeah, so this guy, you know, I land. There's a guy has a sign Lee and go hates me He's like what's your first name? Bobby Okay, I'm not lying. It gets worse Then we actually were walking smoking to the car. Yeah, he goes Hotel you're staying up. He doesn't know. Isn't it in the fucking thing? It's why ask them to go Don't you know what a hotel? I'm staying out because I do do you? I go I don't know it's in some of my I have to go to my emails and check it out. Just getting kidnapped by a fan No, just check out he goes no, I can't put you in my car unless I know what hotel you're staying up seriously Yeah, and I go well what you already I already gave you my name Right, he's like it's rules man. I've never heard this in my life. Yeah, and Now I'm going through my emails. Then I finally go the hotel He's like okay Wow, and I still give him a big tip. You I knew you I was just gonna say I bet you gave him a hundred bucks But I did I threw it out of my mouth You know, I mean I go here you go man. I whipped it at him. Yeah, fuck them, right? I just got out didn't say goodbye or anything It pissed me off. Yeah, that's fucking weird dude. Do you know why? He doesn't think that I Em anything how many leaves have to see and you know, it's San Francisco. I also said Bobby You know, I mean that's a rarely That's a less commonly. Yeah, it's also like you know, I don't know. Is it did I read it wrong? No, that's fucking weird though that he did. I don't know why I never happened to you. I'd take ubers You've never gotten a car. It's the same thing amount of money. No, I have but they've never no I have it's not the same I have What do you mean? It's more expensive for sure. Yeah, it's what more expensive. No, but I have take we've got I'll do it first from no one Is that what you're saying? No, no, it's your pay for you deserve it I don't deserve anything. I just think it's easier. I like the torture of a foreigner who's speaking on the phone. I like I like to go to a new city and hear their foreign their foreign local, you know, yeah Yeah, no, but I I I've had that before I've had it before where I'm like, oh, that's me and Because I use an alias. I don't use my name. I'm like, that's me and then they have to like check To make sure because it's not you know what I mean? Yeah, it's not my name. I say because it's weird that they hold your fucking name That's the weirdest thing. That's why I put mine when we go on. Yeah, that's smart But you're so fucking famous Bobbie Lee the name is famous. Oh, this guy had no idea I know who you are. No, I maybe he was fucking with you. He wasn't dude. Yeah, I know was he He was like Brazilian so he had a thick accent. Oh, you know, I mean But I almost I almost gave him a bad review, but I didn't do it. No, no, you can't do this. Why why can't you you can't? It's not let him suffer. You're you're living a great life. Fuck him. You're right. You're right You're worse than our mean Uber driver in Detroit What would remind me remember we were three packed in the back of the car. Yeah, he was being so rude to us And you're asking if you can turn on the AC on and he just wasn't listening kept turning his music was that the one where we are laughing Really loud there was one uber I was in with you No, that was in London. Oh, that was so on the way to the show with Chappelle. Yeah, that was so fun Yeah, yeah, and you asked what this building was and he was like And we and that's all he didn't turn back around and there was dead silence at first and then all of a sudden we just I died I died lab although we also we also valedine. We were like oh cool. Oh you were in the car Yeah, we're dedicated to be on the phone afterwards. Yeah, what you were dedicated to be on the phone after like what okay? That was so fun, but then you guys were like we're gonna bomb tonight. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we could feel it something was in the air that night as soon as we passed a fucking Abbey Road I was like we're dead we're job legends and then we're fucking penis jokes. Thank you for being a bad friend Yeah