Bobby Is Tone Tone Galore

[MUSIC] Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia. My name is Captain Bobby Lee. We have Admiral Andrew Santino here, and we're brought to you by the Space Command Ship 0x90, and we're here in space near Mars. No, we're in Atlanta, Georgia. That's not good opening. Though I could feel it when I was doing it. I was like, let's do a space statement in my mind. I'm like, let's keep talking. It's not working. But anyway, welcome to Atlanta. I did a show here and Andrew's doing a movie here, and we joined forces here to do a program called Bad Friends here in Atlanta, Georgia. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. [MUSIC] You two are disgusting. [MUSIC] Oh, you two are something. The bad friends. Hey, welcome to Bad Friends. A wave series. We are so excited to shoot today in Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, the Southern Rail, dude. We're a little couple of Southern Rail. We'll go to it stupid. Now that sounds like you're mocking. Oh, hi, I'm a aristocrat. [LAUGHTER] Is that better? Yeah. Actually, you are a little aristocrat. Yeah, I'm a aristocrat. You would be a southern bell, a pretty little southern bell. We got to get a camera on him for the-- I see dead people. But anyway, what if he doesn't want to be on camera? Yeah, we'll do a punch in later. Anyway, we have two videographers sitting in the room with us. We're at Atlanta, Georgia. I'm here filming a movie and Bobby did a show last night. And that's why we've ended up in this little room where we are. And I flew in this morning at 6 in the morning. You did? I was in Knoxville yesterday. Is that where you're shooting? Not to fill. No, I'm shooting here. I was at the Tennessee game with my dad. Oh, I see. And Gillis, we had a blast. I can't talk about what happened. Jane Gillis. Oh, Jane Gillis. Yeah. Jane Gillis, man. I'm big fan of Jane. Jane's cousin, Jane Gillis. Yeah, Jane Gillis. Yeah. Who's Ray Trump was there? Oh, I love him. And then him and I went out. It stopped. I got dinner after the game. You and Trump? Yeah, just him and I. Yeah. We went to Red Lobster. It's so good. He loves that. He loves rock. Cheddar Babyskits. I don't want to use stuffing. Yeah. We'll face with Cheddar Babys. So I have-- me and Carlos have been doing well. And what's we're going on? Yeah. I want you to air it out. Maybe. Okay. So where we have her, haven't we have-- No, dude. I'm so mad. I were done. Oh, because I called you. Yeah. You go, you go. Yeah. Go ahead. Call to me. No, I don't want to say it. No, I want you to say it. I said you were being abusive. Yeah. Were you being abusive? No, I don't know. Did you strike him? No. He's been emotionally abusive. Oh, it's emotionally abusive. No, no. Go off, man. You know he faced-- That's why I faced him last night. And he's in bed with a girl. He goes off. And I was like, ooh, I think this is going to be good. And then he says this morning, he didn't do anything. He just called me. I said, you do anything. He said, no. No, we didn't even cuddle. And then he says to me, I go, I've never heard of that in my life. He goes, that's because you're too straight. What does that even mean? Like you're so straight, you can't even imagine being in bed with a girl and not having sex. Not as an adult male. No, that's as a kid, maybe. What if you were in the army or something? So the guys talk all night. Is that what you're saying? They do. They do chat a lot. My neighbor was like, what was that? What was the party like? You're just as gay, if not gayer than me. What are you saying if I'm in the army? What does that have to do with? They have like, you know, female soldier next to each other. Yeah, female soldiers, you know, you're like in a sniper mission. You can't just have sex with her. What are you talking about, dude? That's an example. You're never sleeping with another soldier in bed without clothes. That's never happened. Like it's very cold. You have to get some stuff off and get body warmth. It's not about sex, about being warm. And last time I just wanted to be warm. Oh, like naked and afraid. This is very funny. You naked and afraid it. Yes, it was fine. It was survival. I tell you, dude, this hair is really getting to your head. Yeah, it's unbelievable. She was a trucker though. I don't even know what's going on. Yeah, she was my friend. We were in Congress. Can we go to work? We met her before. Yeah. I think I did recognize her. Yeah, so I was mad because I called them out. That's not your abusive. No, that's not. You got called out for being abusive. So we're in the internet where I show. And before the show, he comes up to me and he goes, um, there's a guy with cancer. Let me finish the story. A lot of guys with cancer these days. I know. And it's really sad. But he goes, he's going to come and say hi. I go after the show. After the show. Well, did he have any any sort of paperwork to show that he had cancer? I know. I need to prove it. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Like I have cancer and you're like, sure. How would I know? What paperwork? I know you look like a pretzel, but I, you know, I need paper. That one you can see. And I go, of course, of course, you, you want to come by and see how? How did the cancer guy reach out to you? Yes, the venue and the venue asked me. Damn, dude. That's pretty bold. It was bold. Dear tabernacle. I have cancer. I think you just went up to secure it. You went to security. Wow. So anyway, I agreed. And so I kind of. A guy, black guy, Asian guy. A white guy. We finished. So we. Why you let a white with cancer? I know, dude. I used to do Puerto Ricans only. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, pop up. I have cancer. Poppy. In my bones. Yeah. In my bones. Yeah. So. Cancer. So I forget that he's even. You forget. You forgot he had cancer. No, I forgot that even. There was that element to the. You forgot. I forgot that. Cancer element of the night. You know, the theme of the night was cancer. It was cancer and it was gone. Yeah. Because there was other people coming in. I was like, hey, I think you're coming in. Listen to that. Oh, you like it. Listen to that. Whatever. You know what I mean? Right. So then, um, I just completely forgot. And I just go, where's cancer? Like there's people in the room. And there was a guy sitting there. He goes. Me. Yup. And in my mind, I'm like, you have to do an announcement before cancer comes in. I didn't know he was there. Oh, yeah. This is your fault. Oh, that's one of the guys announcement. When cancer comes in, so I don't go, hey, where's cancer? Right. And then he goes over here. And then I'm embarrassed. I'm like, what the fuck? I just call. I'm so sorry. He's like, it's fine. Yeah. And his friends laughed. Sure. Yeah. But I was so embarrassed by it. You know, you got to do now. I'm sorry for not protecting you from yourself. When they're, you didn't protect me from myself. Yeah. When there is. So I apologize. A cancer person that needs to come backstage or special needs person or handicapped or any of that stuff. We just need to communicate to each other on tour. And I think what you should make is stickers that say cancer. Something like a ribbon or different hand gestures, you know. There's not, there's so many different. There's, you got to put cowbells around their neck so we can hear when they're coming. Yeah. But we've already created all the hand gestures that one can create, man, right? We have, I'll just do them all. Uh-huh. And see if we can all. Yeah. This is shocker. Exactly. Yeah. That's rock on. Rock on did, right? Yeah. Wait. That's the shocker. That's the shocker. Right. Different from shocker. No. Shocker. Yeah. Shocker is different than shocker. Yeah. Really could I do it? Fine. Okay. I didn't know you're the hand guy. Well, I was doing a game. Yeah. What's handicapped? What? Oh my god. Is that handicapped? No, at my point is it. Oh, this is kangaroo. It's more kangaroo. It's more kangaroo. Anyway. So you're abusive and you're not doing your job. This is both of you. Did you? No, that's not true. Did you say when you were you in the room when I did go where's cancer? Yeah. You were in the room when I said that. Yeah, they were fine in having fun. Okay. It wasn't like the end of the world. Maybe there's a better way to say it. But you know, I mean, where's the gentleman that happened to be sick or something like that? Maybe I should have said that. Your niece was there and you were distracted. Why? You just were. Who was there? My niece. What do you mean? What do you mean? You know, you know, it's could I just say something to you, pal? This up, stop. See that face you're making right now, pal. Right. You act as if I don't come from family. You don't. You act as if I have no one out there like with my name. Do you know what a niece is? It's supposed to be my brother's daughter. Yeah. Any of your siblings there. Yeah, but I don't have it. I have one brother who doesn't, you know, I mean, have any. So I have cousins that have them. So I just call them niece. That's not a niece. What is it? It's your second cousin once removed or something. All right. So what? So your niece was backstage. And then, um, yeah, I have family as well, like you do. You don't. Yeah, I do. Now, I'm a family man, dude. You're a mutt that they find in Mexico on the street. Like maybe it does have family somewhere. Right. Like most likely not. Right. Missing something. Like a kangaroo or whatever. Anyway, um, so that happened. So you called out cancer. You were abusive to Carlos. I wasn't a music. Oh, right. I'm the one here. Why? It's pissing me off, dude. Because my dad sent me a nice text message. Balling in the car. You don't have a dad. Anyway, um, see that. How does that feel? I don't have a niece. I have to. It doesn't feel good. No, I know that you have a dad. Because your dad's dad and mine's not. So don't throw your bullshit on me. Don't throw your dad's dad stuff. God, I love it. It feels good. I should call my dad right now. No, I don't. I don't know much. I love him because he's alive. You know, it's Mark Maren's birthday today. We ought to call that. Yeah. Who are you calling? Cat. I don't remember when Carlos talked to me in that way. I think that's her voicemail. Hello. I think it went high. - I think that was her voicemail. (laughing) - That was her voicemail. - Yeah. - She goes, "Hi." And I go, "Do you remember?" (laughing) - Do you remember? - Yeah, I absolutely was not. - So the tour was-- - It's odd and nowhere he did that. It was a fucking shocking. In my mind I was, I was not able to talk to him. I was never gonna talk to him like that. - Well, how about these photos of you who abused you? Was that Carlos that injured you? - The photos of me was a completely, that was nature abusing me. - Let me see what you mean. - So I get abused by him and nature. - So these are your legs? - Those are my legs, that's disgusting, dude. Look at what happened. - What is that? Were those from chiggers? - Uh-huh. - I'm dead serious. - Yeah, yeah, they're chiggers. - I had chigger bites all over my legs. - You know how you kill them? You go into water, they drown. (laughing) - He gets wet. - I knew it was coming. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And if they're on your body you're in a movie that they chirp. (laughing) - They chirp loud in a movie. (laughing) - You know how certain bugs are attracted to lights? - Yeah. - Chiggers are attracted to a single beep of a dying fire alarm. (laughing) - I got riddled by chiggers. - Oh, look at it. - Hold on, Gillis was calling me right now. - Yeah. - Shane, I gotta call you, I'm on bad friends unless you wanna talk. - That's the thing, those things came out of nowhere. - Shane, Bobby. - Shane, Bobby says that. - Hey. - What's up, buddy? - What's going on, man? - Hey, bud. - Are you calling? - Just calling 'cause me and Santino had a wonderful evening last night. - We really did. Do you wanna say what happened or no? You don't have to. - I can, I don't have to say where it was or whatever, because I took, I thought what was a micro dust of mushrooms and I ended up tripping. - It was a mega dust. (laughing) I didn't want a trip. (laughing) - He was in the corner of the couch where I kept looking at me with wide eyes and he was like, Santino. (laughing) - Wow, it was great, fun, fun, fun. - Shaney, let me call you back. - All right, bye, bye, bye. Let her do, he was having a good time. Can I tell you that I've got a new lease on life now? - I love it. - Hold on, let's finish this. - Okay. - This is what, you're walking through the woods. - No, no, you have no idea. So I have another photo that I'll just show you. - I'll just follow this. - Are you still painting your nails? Are you getting them painted? - What do you mean? A little fairy does it. What are you talking about? Do you paint them or do you go somewhere? - I go somewhere. What's your aggression about, guy? - Who's a fucking regular question? You fuckhead and then you spun it like, what are you talking about? It's very easy. Do you do it or does someone-- - All right, so see this couch right here? - Let me see. Who's that chick? - That's my girlfriend. - Oh. - All right, so in that couch-- - I can't see her face. - Yeah, so in that couch, right, is outside of Turtle Bay in a little tiny cabin. Okay? We decided to make love. Sweet love but the lake. - Okay. We make sweet love. She goes in to take a shower. I fall asleep outside. Three in the morning, completely dark, by a lake. Okay? - You woke up. - I woke up. - Did you checkers that stole on your wallet? (laughing) - It's enough. - It's enough, dude. - I'm sorry. - Yeah. - It's enough. But you know who got bitten the most, dude? Next to me, there was a fat one chick. (laughing) She was really, oh my god, they went after her. - Wait, so this is Turtle Bay, so that's what happened. By the way, did she have a tattoo above her? It says, "Love to all you." - Love to all you? - I have no idea, dude. It's in Old English. - It says, "Love." - Wait, love, I can't read it. - Oh no, love is all you need. - I'm new in English. - That's all you need. Don't you agree? Are you agree? - No brother. - Yeah, you need a job. - I know, but yeah, you do need more. - Love is all you need. - It's a Beatles song. - Sing it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Beatles. - Yeah, oh, love is all you need. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I know you're not tone deaf, but you know that's not how it goes. - What? - Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. - I was trying to make a version of it, that's it. - Why are you not gonna sue us? - You think Paul McCartney said it? - Yeah, I don't want the Beatles to sue them. - I don't want bad friends to sue them. - I'm gonna sue them? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, you know what, I got. - I love it. - Take us to Oasis next year. - Woo! - Nice. - I got in line. What do you mean why? Oasis fucking rule. - That's not me. - I got in line, online. Luke, Luke, my cousin got online. You had to sign up for a fucking code just to be able to try to buy tickets. - Whoa. - And then you put your preference or cities and it was like, Boston Vegas. - Call Taylor. - Call Taylor. - Who? - You're friends with me. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. - You don't have any connections to going to Oasis. - I buy tickets. - I know, but you can get in. - Why, I buy tickets? - You can make a phone call. - To who? - Who? - Your agent. - No, they don't. - They can. - Why would they be able to do anything? - Who reps Oasis? - Oh, you'd have to look it up. - Yeah. - But music and. - I've done that before. - Yeah, you see. - And then you rub green data, you know, and then they go, yeah. - I just don't have that in me to do it. - I don't want. - I'd rather them get me a fucking job. - Yeah. - Than get me tickets for Oasis. - The one time I did that was George Lopez. - I never met George Lopez and I had a Mexican girlfriend in Christine Portillo. Then the door was open to George. As soon as he sees you with a Mexican girl, you're in. - Yeah, that is true. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so, that's how you get in with all those Mexicans. - The fuck? - You go to Edward James. You go to Edward James, almost as well as dude. You got to bring a Mexican up there. - Why? - They love it. - So you know that, you know it. - I do, I'm trust like, I got no memory, I cheated. - Are you walking? - Yeah, I have those polo ties, dude. - I come in, you know what I mean? - It's a girl friend. - Yeah, I come in like that. So my point is is that, I don't even know what I was talking about. - You have no point. - George Lopez. - Oh, George Lopez, yeah, so I didn't know him and I called my agent. They gave me fourth row at somewhat a theater somewhere in downtown. - What show? - It was somewhere in LA, downtown LA. George Lopez, I said. - Oh, I thought, I thought George got you. You got to take us to see George Lopez. - I don't know him at this point, I said. - Oh, yeah, how old are you? - I've been my thirties. - And you went to see stand up? - I know. - Fucking gross. - It's so gross. - I would never. - And then I almost didn't get the tickets. - I don't know, dude. It was like, what are the holes? - Is there anything I can do? - Were you on Mad at that time? - Yeah, I almost didn't get George Lopez tickets. Now I know him well, so I could get tickets now, but like, yeah. - So he, he doesn't shame me. - What? - Here's the words, the worst part. - And I love George, but he comes up, like, I guess in a machine. - What the fuck are you talking about? - He's on stage, it comes up like Michael Jackson. - Like Prince? - Yeah. - Like out of the hole in the back. - Something a hole in the back. - Yeah. - And he comes up like that. - Wild. - No way. - Yeah, dude. - Like Alveston. - I remember he didn't turn around for like two minutes. (laughing) - Right. - And I literally got up. - And I go, let's go, let's go. (laughing) I poked her like this, I go, let's go, let's go. It's too long. - It's too much. - It's two minutes of way too long to be around like that. - You know what George is? - George is a comic. - He's a real comic. - And he likes comics. So like, I know some people that don't know George think like, he might be a little stern or not cold, but like, you know, whatever, but to comics, he's like, loves comedies. - I love him. - He's just, he loves the culture so much of comics. - I love him so much, he's like, great guy. - So I have a lifestyle change that's happening and you guys are gonna be privy to it now. - Da da da da, lifestyle change. - Thank you, I found a new lease on life. - Da da da, new lease on life here in Atlanta. - Tell me. - How much? - I don't want to be criticized, but I joined a group. I found a group here of people that align with my beliefs and my, it's pretty cool. - I was there. - One battle after another, remember? The White Society? - It's really wonderful. - And we get together. - Let me ask you some questions about the group. - Let me just ask you some questions about the group. - Sure. - What's the group called? - Yeah, but there's a lot of names. - And you give me the name, main name. The lobbyist group. - The brotherhood. - The brotherhood. So the brotherhood's like APAC and they give money to senators and congresspeople. All right, so you're, all right. - What are you lobbying for? (laughing) - Singularity. - Oh, singularity. When it comes to singularity, if I may, I work for ABC, by the way. My name is Nathan Brano-Hugh. - Oh, hey, Mr. Brano-Hugh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We got to be brand new. - What? - Brano-Hugh? - Brano-Hugh is running here. (laughing) - Is your dad just a white guy? - I was adopted. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Well, it's about you. We don't have a lot of time. - I'm interested in Brano-Hugh. - I know, I'm looking at the brotherhood. (laughing) - All right, so when you're singularity. - Hold on, she's calling. - All right. - Hello? - Hello? - Was Carlos out of pocket? - Was Carlos out of pocket at all? (laughing) - That's crazy. Well, tone, tone, wise. - Who the fuck is-- - See, that's not-- - Okay, can you hang up the phone now? - All right, Kat. - We gotta go. - Oh, we gotta go, bye, goodbye. - Goodbye. - So, now we're opening a window into who's abusive. Well, that's a character. I play okay, so he when he wants to be abusive he turns into tone tone galore All right now tone tone galore you're gay. Yeah It was Bobby's character for me you named it you all you walked into a roomy when I'm tone tone galore That's not what happened. We're in your penguin sweet and Sidney or wherever yeah, you're like you're kind of a penguin sweet You're like your tone tone galore go like it was like improv. You've adopted this character Yeah, I'm a do you wear certain clothing to be told it's that I went to a gay conversion camp and I'm trying to get others to go Yeah, there's a backstory to tone galore Yeah, and if you don't agree to go to the camp I immediately like really hurt did you go to the camp? Yeah, and I'm not gay anymore and I want other people to not be gay too And so I would hit cat really hard and like leave marks on her and stuff seriously. Yeah, that's not that's not cool either So who's being emotionally a book you know that's physical, but that's funny. That's not funny everyone Because you're tone tone you can where do you smacker the thigh ass anywhere this is insane Can you explain to me tone tone galore? 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I was bleeding and Andrew said get on rocket money And I've saved thousands of dollars It is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions Monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings That's what it is. That's exactly right Bob Bob's used it And it helped him tremendously But also if you're looking to set budgets and goals it can also help you do that You know, you can also Discuss automated savings that grow towards goals with adjustable amounts of frequency and set it and forget it approach So if you're looking to just you know save money not wasting it online and also grow your money rock and money helps you do that as well Let rock and money help you reach your financial goals faster join it rock and money dot com slash bad friends That's rock and money dot com slash bad friends rocket money dot com slash bad friends talk space I love talk space, you know therapy is save my life. It's the most important thing Talk space is the number one rated online therapy bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists That you can access anytime anywhere Well, you typically compared up with in 48 hours which is huge about talk space And I will say Bobby and I've talked about it pretty candidly on the show for many many years now both of us believe in therapy I do think talk space is very inclusive and it provides treatment for individuals the best was LGBTQIA Plus community veterans teens everybody no matter who you are I do think talking to someone is very imperative it helps you Get to where you want or need to be depending on what your goals are and we've been using it for a long time and I'm happy Also unlike other telehealth companies Psychiatry is available through talk space so you can get the medication you need to supplement your talk therapy if needed Talk space may skin help you need easy accessible and affordable plus most insured members have a zero dollar copay And as a listener of this podcast you're gonna get $80 off your first month of talk space when you go to talk space Comment into the promo code space That's space 80 SPAC 80 to match with the licensed therapists today go to talk space.com and enter promo code space 80 Who's tongue-tongue-lar? I can't yeah, yeah, you can who's tone-tongue-lar? Contro-tongue-lar is the character that Carlos adopted Thank you adopted pretty method acting and he like I think he was like is he violent is he violent? Yeah, yeah, he's a Christian counselor Yeah, yeah, so what all his repression comes out in violence It's because you're repressed is that what it is your gay guy who can't come out on other people to be involved or thank you cat I got wait. I'm trying to understand this character. So you're repressed. You went to conversion camp. It didn't work No, it did work. I'm not gay anymore. Yeah, right. Yeah, but I work for the camp and I want other people to come and they never listen to me. So I hit them So when people come You're fucking see what I'm dealing with for doing dealing with fucking layers of psychology or yeah, it's six stop It was your idea wait a minute. How did I come with tone-tongue-lar? That's insane came up with the name That's all I did that's something that I would come up with tone-tongue-lar Absolutely wait a minute. It was the street. I'm the tree. So you went to camp. Yeah, you want others to come to camp to change Yeah, I because you think it worked on you. Yeah, and I know you're not secretly given tuggies at camp. No, absolutely You're not being a bad boy in the box. No, I liked my conversion because of the suppression though It comes a repression. I mean, yeah, it comes out in violence. Yeah, and so for him to say that to me Just fucking guy. Yeah, get it over with because I went to camp and I don't need to see this sounds like someone who's denying They're truth. I think you're mad at me because I slept in bed with a girl and we didn't have sex No, I'm not mad at that. I just think it's odd for an adult male. I was tired. How old do you again? 39 come on I was tired. It's not odd. It's okay Did you try? No, I didn't try it. I promise, but you can't you look you have to try a hundred percent. Yeah You can't Know are you not attracted at all to her? I'm not very pretty. I've seen her. I saw her on Facebook last night. They fucking face me from bed I was like why did you pick up the phone? What I was super attracted to her friend when we met and so that's like the connection is she attracted to you Probably not why would you say like that? She flew here from Nashville. Yeah, I mean, she's cool. It's like a 30-minute flight. Oh, it is It's a way wait a minute though. She flew here to see you there was their discussion. We're gonna be sleeping in the same bed That we did that ever come up. No, because we've done it before and Vegas before so wasn't you were in fucking lost Vegas and nothing happened? Yeah Shocked. I'm astonished and there's a gate. There were two beds and not one. There's a gay guy in the other bed And everyone just had a good time. I watched game of thrones on my iPad. Who was in the other bed tone tone galore Hey, it's Caligula. It's dark. It's it's could you sleep in a bed with a woman just as a friend? I've done it so many times. Oh, I'm so gay, dude No, but out but here's my excuse Okay, see that attitude right there. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. All right. See there we go. I know. Well, you do see it You definitely just started it. Yeah anyway, he's such a gas lighter Gas is up, dude. Gas is up all day long. Can I finish my brotherhood? Yeah I'm done with it. What's my name again? Bromahue, Bromahue, Bromahue. Nathan Bromahue. Nathan Bromahue. Yeah. Anyway, welcome back. Good commercial break. Anyway, um, so the brotherhood. What is your name again? Cliff. I cliff. How are you? So I'm good. You guys are lobbyists. You singularity is what you said. That's what we're looking. Yeah I understand it. And you know what? I love your books. Yeah, I mean, yeah, how to die in Alabama was a great how to die in Alabama was a great bum. We're big in the book. Turn right. And your references to Timothy McVeigh was incredible. You know, I mean, it was terrible human being. No, don't do that whenever you say his name. I have Absolute yeah, okay, Tim. David Karash Ruby Ridge Bring up a picture of Stone Mountain. This is where I'm staying. So the joke that we're out obviously making is I learn on my first fucking day driving down, this is it. I'm driving down. I'm driving down Robert E. Lee Boulevard. Oh, they got my photo wrong. Yeah. They carved it wrong. Well, your eyes look, your eyes look different there. Lee Boulevard. I get to the set and one of the crew members is like, I was like, ooh, tough, tough little road out there. He's like, yeah, the resurgence of the KKK started here. I was like, what? He's like right here in Stone Mountain. So go back to the other picture, Carlos. You can see we're shooting near this thing. It's this big national park. And he was like, yeah, the KKK started on the outside of this stone mountain. Oh, what's the other story? The resurgence of it. It's fucking insane. And I go and I said to the cop, there's cops everywhere inside of this park. It's a national park. There's cops all over the, and the cop comes to set and he's like chatting with us about the movie. There they are. Oh, there I am. There's stone. No, no, I wasn't in this one. I took that photo. I'm chatting with the cop and I was like, I was like, what's this place known for? He's like the KKK and suicide. I go, what? He goes, we people jump off of that fucking thing all the time. And the woods are so dense and thick, they shot stranger things in these woods where we're filming. Some of it. And he goes, people get drugs, do drugs, get drunk and go get lost in the fucking wood. Is it beautiful? It is. I'd be beautiful. Yeah. It's kind of, it's like I get it while I get it. If you're going to do it, do it somewhere pretty. What's going on with you other than having all this time off? Beautiful. You just sit. Huh? Are you helping your wife? No, I'm here. I'm watching Bobby doing pirouettes and getting naked on stage and I mean time of my life. By the way, are my contract, our contract punishment with MGM because your bottle in Vegas is gone now because I resigned with MGM again. Oh yeah. So we're out of jail now. That's you. I think I'm still in. No, you're good. Really? Yeah, we asked. They said you're good. MGM I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No more butthole stuff. Yeah, I get no. No, he didn't do it. I didn't do. The whole deaf community came to see Bobby last night. The deaf community. Uh-huh. Yeah. No, you are a visual act. Yeah. It's not as much what you say is what you do. Are you making fun of the translator up there? No, making fun. She did such a good job. Yeah. How do you fucking know? You don't speak sign. I knew if I was looking to the left, I thought she was doing like the Down syndrome making love. What if she was like this dumb and Korean more fat, this stupid, this Korean fat clown. Yeah. She did that. So wait, how many deaf people came to the show? I don't know. Dude, they just was a translator. Is that what you call them? Interpreter. Interpreter. Yeah. Interpreter. Yeah. Yeah. But did you meet the deaf person? Yeah, they came up afterward. No, there was no deaf people that the interpreters though came backstage afterwards. Oh, they did? Yeah, and the ego. What's up? You know, that kind of thing. You know, it was good. I just said hi. I just said hi. Yeah. How many shows do you have left now this year before your special comes before maybe four or five three? Are you happy? Are you happy? I'm so happy. You are? It's a grind. But it's a good grind. It's a good grind. Yeah. But I'm a home guy. I know I'm the polar opposite. I know you love being out. I don't want to go home ever. I know. But what about your dog? I love my dog. It was my dog and my wife could just be a mobile. I want to, you know, I'm going to be one of those guys that gets a camper and travels. I want to sell my house so bad and just go, yeah, you've always been like that. Let's go. I'll tell you why. When I was a kid, we moved a lot into apartments in Chicago. You're a dreamer. And then by the time we got to the suburbs, that house was a house, not a home. It was a place I like went to high school in. Oh, it didn't feel like I didn't have a childhood home. We were in apartments and then when we got a house. Yeah. Why can't you just call that your childhood home? Because it doesn't feel like it. Yeah. But how long do you have to be in a house for you? It to be a childhood home. I think you have to grow up as a young kid there for your child. Like your most formidable years. Like like four to nine. Oh, that's your childhood home. Yeah. So Minnesota is my childhood home. 100%. That is your childhood. Yeah. San Diego's where you like, I still think San Diego because we're all the drugs happened. That's not good. Oh, no, those are the good times. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you know, you know why Christian Bale snapped on that set. I'm on you. When you first listened to that Christian Bale thing, you're like, well, that's a little too much, but that really fucking pissed me off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought someone was crazy. Yeah. Judgment. You know, by the way, when you see me moving around your lights, what you're doing your job. What are you saying? The thing? He's like, you're in the shot. Yeah. Yeah. He was. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, the guy. We're not working together again, man. You apparently did it multiple times. So it wasn't like a fucking one off. We haven't had any explosions on set. That's great. But it's heavy. We're shooting a probably a 40 day movie in 22 days. Wow. It's insane. We're doing pulling 14 hour days. How many, so many scenes in the day? A lot. Six. Wow. We're gunning as fast as we've ever. It's fucking insane what we're doing. Stay most, Heather Graham. Amazing. So cool. Amazing. So nice. So cool. So funny. Stay most of my boss was Ralph Machio. A Ralph is in it. Yeah. I was talking about. Yeah. I met him before. Yeah. He's got to come on the show. He wants to. Yeah. I met Ralph. I said, I said the last episode. We just talked about Pat Marita. Yeah. Can I tell you about what? Here's what my brother and Ralph almost got into it. Your brother fought karate kid. He was so embarrassing. I had to kick my brother out of a theater. What happened? So I was hosting the Asian Excellence Awards. And this is one of my brothers was drinking. Yeah. Yeah. And we were. So it was Danny DeVito, Ralph Machio sitting on a couch in the back of the theater. The babes of Hollywood. What? There's the mega babes. And so my brother was drunk and my brother had never been around Hollywood. Anyone. Sure. Right. So my brother had a beer and they're sitting around a couch and I swore I got my brother. This is Ralph Machio's head right here looking this way. My brother would go up behind him and go. I got a good man. That sounds like Steve. Gratigid, man. The best. You're the best. So Ralph probably liked that. That's not he. They all moved away. Of course. And I pulled Steven sort of go, don't talk to anybody. Don't talk to Machio that way. Don't talk to anybody. If you don't know how to do it, don't do it. Well, how does he do it? You'll say shit. You just don't say, dude, if you're okay, let's say I'm fucking Pat Marita. Yeah, we're an elevator. Aren't you supposed to be dead? I'm alive. This is 1988. All right. This is after, this is pre Karate kid after happy days. Okay. So I'm in a really bad zone. No, maybe he was happy. No, he was doing commercials and stuff. All right. All right. Okay. Okay, works on works off works on. He has a script. No, it's being developed. Oh, he has the script. He has a script. It's being he's tracking it. He's tracking the project. Right. So he's trying to get into the role. So he already knows some of the line about it in the trades. What? He read about the trades. Right. Right. Right. And they won't see him right now. No. Yeah. Yeah. They're looking for other. You and I are an elevator together. I don't know if this is there is the setup is so elaborate already that it's I don't think it's going to. It's the weight of it is a crumble. Yeah. The weight of it's going to crumble, but I'm going to try anyway. Okay. So um, what do I say? Do you say nothing or say something? Okay. If you're a Pat, I would look over to who works on the works. Oh, Daniel son. Daniel son. Daniel son. Daniel son. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Excuse me. Hello. Happy day. Two day one day. Happy day. Do they brought it? Happy day. Happy day. Oh, I'm out. Yeah. Good. Bye. Bye. Bye. Elevator open that wall. That's what you would just sing with them. That's so dumb. Dude, that's worse than like you sang back. Oh, that's. You fucking immediately sang back. Everybody did say a thing back. Like how fun would that be? Yeah. Yeah. Mine was. The movie's good. And Tim Simons plays Tim Simons and Sinkwa walls play by best friends in their. They're fucking both so good. It's so funny. Tim flew back to LA last weekend. And I was like, where are you going to see your family? He's like, I got to go to the Emmys. I was like, you that's awesome. And he was like, it is, but he's like, this is hard travel because of the shoot schedule is fucking insane. And he goes also, you know, he went a thousand times for VEEP because that show got nominated every fucking year. And he's like, you know, it's still fun, but it changes your perception when you have family and work and they're like, you got to get back to do this thing. I was like, man, I'm never going to ever get invited. Have you ever been to the Emmys? I've never been to any awards. Me either. Yeah, we'll never go. No, no, don't say that. They don't want us to go. I know they don't want us to go, but we have to go. Can you imagine them looking at the guest list? And they're like, how the fuck are these guys on it? I know. Like even if we did get an award. Yeah. They probably wouldn't let a show up for it. Yeah. I was looking back at some of the play back. I used to interview people on the enemies. Oh, yeah. I used to be the interviewer. Do we have that footage? Yeah, yeah. We looked it up. It's on YouTube. It's bad. Please don't look it up. Please look it up. Yeah. But anyway, I used to interview people on the wet red carpet. For who? For ABC? No, for Fox. That's embarrassing. Stop. I want to hear it. No, I want to hear it. It's so embarrassing. It's so bad. (laughing) - I'll tell you that case, make contact. - And you know what I've been thinking for you, help Waffle. - It's nice. - Yeah, you've really had some. - Well, thank you very much. - That in a sexual way, and just a man kind of way. You were like, "You were very, you know, I tried to get in a sexual way." (laughing) - Okay, turn it off, turn it off. Turn it off, turn it off. - Okay, it won't turn off, baby. - Turn it off. - You know, after watching that clip, I gotta tell ya. - The bad. - And you've grown so much as a comedian. (laughing) - You look, that was cool bear. - I know. - Yeah, I saw 'em. - From so long, I didn't remember that. - It was like 30 years ago. - You look good. - Skinny young Bob. - Yeah. - Look at you now. - But that's the closest I ever got to the Emmys. They wouldn't let me inside. - They'll never get inside. - They don't let you inside. - Bluetooth. - Bluetooth is the official sponsor of Bad Friends. - You know what else Bluetooth should sponsor? - Me. - That look your girl gives you when she's ready for another round. - Again and again and again and again and again and again. - Listen guys, I carry Bluetooth, this is for my pocket. - Bluetooth gold is in his pocket and literally was pulled it out. - That's how you should go. - I just turned 55 years old and the machinery works. It still works, right? Does it need lubrication and fabric and help? - You need some oil. - I need oil. - And this is what the Bluetooth does. It gets the engine running. And let me say something, okay. It works. - Yeah, it does work. - It's the best. - He sent me a couple photos before and afters and I don't like that, but it definitely does work. I'll tell you that. - Bruce Banner to Hawk. 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Shopify helps you launch a store and start selling in a few simple steps without needing to be an e-commerce expert because we're not. Look, we're pretty stupid. Everyone that works on this show is very stupid and Shopify helps us do everything. - You like sidekick? - I love sidekick. Shopify's AI system helps your business task along the way from store set up to planning promotions. They do literally everything. Look, we put a bunch of shirts online, T-shirts and sweaters and everything and if it weren't for Shopify, we wouldn't know how to get that stuff to you guys. - Shopify's mobile app lets you manage key parts of your store from anywhere, including inventory, customer support and payments too. - It's exactly right. You can launch before Black Friday at time of year and more people are shopping and ready to buy. The best part is Shopify has got these pre-built themes and AI sidebuild and it makes it easier to create a professional storefront no matter what it is you're selling. I mean, it can be shirts like us or if you're making nicknacks in your garage, in between your other jobs that you're wanting to make a small business grow, Shopify is gonna be there for you the entire way and help you get it to the people that need it most, which are your customers. Start your free trial. - That Shopify.com/badfronts. - You heard them that Shopify.com/badfriends today to hear your first. - Chitching. - You ever get a call, get sent straight to a voicemail that's clearly from 2015 and just hang up. You ever have ever happened? - It's happened, yeah. - Yeah, your customers do that to you too, right? - Yeah, the customers do that. - That's why at some point, you just gotta say, let's fucking quote it. - All right, today's episode brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O, the business phone system built so you never miss a call. All your calls, text, voicemails live in one place so anybody on your team can pick up a conversation, see the field history and respond fast. So it's basically showing your entire company. You know, we got a small little business here that everyone communicates so much easier with Quo. It's the number one rated business phone system on G2, trust it by over 90,000 businesses who rely on it to stay reachable and look professional every single day. - Set up in minutes on any device, keep your existing number and add teammates so as you grow, no IT, no hassle. - No IT, no hassle. Quo takes it all the way for you. They integrate with tools your team already uses like HubSpot, Zapier, Clawed, and more. Helping you save time, stay organized and spend less time chasing information between systems. Money is on the line, folks. Always say hello with Quo. - Try Quo, Q-U-O for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/ - Bad friends, that's Quo, Q-U-O.com/ - Bad friends. - Although I will say, if anybody's gonna win an award. - Yeah. - I saw Bobby's movie. I wasn't supposed to see it. - What movie? - Bobby Kelly's movie. (laughs) - Okay. - It's great. I'm not even kidding at all. You're so good in it. It's fantastic. - You Yamanika, Jim Norton, Bobby Kelly. He did a great job. I can't, I can't, I believe you. - What? - No, I believe you, but I don't believe you too. - Why? - I mean, the middle, because sometimes you'll go, I did a good job, but they come to I'll call other people and go, oh no, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. So it's like, I don't know. - I can't tell if you're being real or authentic. - I'm being genuine. - I'm being genuine. - I think it was great. - So what do you want me to say to make it? - No, because I swear on my mom. - My mom, my mom. - Because shooting it was so hard. - Yeah, I looked and passed, I would have hated it. - It was so hard. - And then afterwards, it's like, where is it? It's been years. - Well, he's got, he's got. - You don't know what the project looks like. - You did it two years ago. - I know. - Well, that's, all right. - I mean, it's not that old. - Right. - Was I fat in it? - You look the same as you do now. Fat. - No, you don't look same. You look the same, you're not fat. When were you fat? I think you think you're fat, 'cause we make jokes. - Yeah, I have fat. - You've never been fat. - Yeah. Okay, thank you. - You've never been, not to me. (laughs) What does that mean? - You just totally love it look fat, like an hour ago. - Yeah, you didn't know what it was yet. You also hurt, no dude, fuck you. Get out of here. - Yeah. - Can I also tune in? - Get out of here. - Go back to your country. This is, you're in the South, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You better go back to where you came from. Spanish. - Can I tell you reason why I know you're right? Because yesterday, he did the GLP-3 joke on the phone. - It's a good joke. - You need to be on GLP-3, you're so fat. - So when you're saying, I am fat then. - No, you're not. - You see the GLP-5? - It's just funny joke. - You got the three of ready? - Yeah. - You went from two, one, two. - Yeah, two to five now. - Oh, dude. No, I told him, take GLP-1 and two so you can get to GLP-3. You can add them together and make GLP-3. - No, you're not fat. - And actually, you're not fat. - So I don't know if you're being sincere, but. - You know, you know what I mean when I say this. I swear on my mother's life, a person that I wouldn't. - The movie was good. - I thought you were very good. (laughs) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, look at me. - Yeah. - Yes, I enjoyed the film, but I was more so commenting that you're very good in it. - Yeah. - Yamanika's so fucking good. - Yeah. - Genuinely. - I was like, this is very fucking good. Her emotional fucking roller coaster, she goes, it's great, dude. I thought it was fucking great. Like I really like that. I'm not fucking a roller coaster. - I'll get it, good, thanks. - Say something and make sure that I know I'm being genuine. - I can call Robert right now. - Yeah, we talked about it. - I told him. - I told him the same thing and I said, he goes, do you have any notes? And I said, I would cut a little bit of the fat. There's some fat that the runtime is long. - Yeah. - What? - You're good. - Are you calling me fat? (laughs) - You guys see Resident Evil, some hope, anything? - Resident Evil, amazing. - You saw Resident Evil? - Yeah. - I liked it, dude. You guys watch it? - I wanna see it. Tim Simons went to go see it when I was going out. - That's really good. - He was like, I just wanted to go see Resident Evil. - Yeah, I was like, is it worth it? He's like, absolutely. - Yeah. - It's so simple, but it's like, you know, he has his own style that guy, dude. - It's so good. - It's so good. And then I saw Hope, the Korean movie. You saw me doing it. - All I wanna see, that's so bad. - I saw it too. - Would you, no, I have my opinion about it. - Yeah, too many Koreans. (laughs) - It's rockin'. - I wanna see Dagger. - The problem with that movie is that it's three hour long and then you get to the end and it's like, oh, this is just part one. - Or whatever. - Here's the problem with the movie, okay? My problem with the movie is that it's another movie of two halves, okay? The first hour and a half of that movie is a masterpiece. - Great. - Great. The ending is the worst thing you've ever seen in your life. So it's like, take it for what it is. - Is it really that bad? - No, it's just like it's-- - It's abrupt and it changes the whole thing. - And it looks like the second part is from that the perspective of the other people. - Yes, exactly. It's like a point of view adjustment. - It's told through another lens then. - Yeah. - But you don't like it. You're like, why would you do that? - Yeah, it's a scene. - Is it being well received? - Yeah. - I mean, with the cans. - With the cans. - Yeah. - Just kind of crazy. - Another place we'll never get to go. - Well, that's the last place I'm gonna go. - Wouldn't that be so fun? - I'd love to go. You know, Venice, I've always, I have fantasies of going to Venice, going on a yacht, going on a yacht with Brad. - With Pit Dog? - Yeah. - With Pitsy? - With that dog from that new movie's end. (laughing) - Yeah. - Just the dog. - Throw the dog in the ocean and save it again. - Just like the movie. - Just doing it over and over and over. - Yeah, I would keep doing it like the movie. - Throw the dog in the ocean. - When a new guest comes on the boat, you do the bit again. - I do the bit again. - Check this out, right? - I'll jump in. - Yeah. - Ruffles. - Ruffles, yeah. - You jump in. - But my fantasies out there with Brad and, you know, with the dog. - Who's your Hollywood fantasy in the Venice film festival? Or at can, can, can? - What is it? - Can. - Can. - But here's my fantasy, all right? I wake up at a chattel. - Whoa. - Rye. - So you're not on, you wake up on the land. You don't wanna live on the boat. - I mean, two pieces of land, right? - Interesting. - There's a, oh, so here's what it is. There's a lake, right? At cans and there's an island in the middle of the lake. I'm in that island. - Wow. Like I said, anyway, I'm who owns the island Daniel De Lewis. Yeah, and he calls me. He calls you a day That's how he sounds like that's what he sounds like when he's not acting. I'm shocked. Yeah, bye I feel like yeah, hello, Daniel Wait, what character are you doing? You're doing Phantom Thread right now or I always make the little jokes like that in the morning He hates it. Yeah. Yeah, he really does You know, he's a don't you guys don't make that joke about clogs Because you know, you know, he made clogs. Yeah, anyway, my point is is like so my fantasy calls me. Let's have a croissant Yeah, so we have a croissant big croissant guy. It really is People know that and I wear the clogs as far as the show you should. Yeah Yeah, there's a lot is it a pan of chocolate or is it just a regular croissant the fuck clogs are panic chocolate You're wearing And it's the worst because when you step down the chocolate goes in between your toes Yeah, yeah, so I walk in with the panic chocolate, right? And he always does like a lab. Oh That's how we wow. I mean, I get it. Yeah, you get it. Yeah, yeah. This is a great dream. It's not a dream This is oh, it is a dream. Yeah, so I wake up. I have a dream. I have a dream that one day Bobby will wear a pan of chocolate shoes Yeah, and then you they lose Can I finish my on an island? God penapply cruise Pineapple cruise pineapple cruise and I pineapple cruise and I did we go fucking snow sledding in the U Lake in The summer To get the ice out there is hard You know how much ice sheets of ice you have to get to create that like who's paying that tab Daniel no, dude pineapple Elon Musk doggy. Yeah, he loves it. Yeah, it says it's a lake. What's your fantasy? You have a cans fantasy? Honestly, yeah is What's the one with the big staircase? That's Venice film festival with like that big that's can Oh, you fall down. I want to fall down. Yeah, I want to fall down. You and I are holding hands So fun with that be you and I holding hands at the top and we fall and we do a tumble all the way down Right in my pocket. I've catch up. Yep, or you know, are you know what? I'll go to real Hollywood store and get real blood ketchup's funnier ketchup's funnier because that someone will be like Right and I put all of my face, but it's a ton of ketchup. Yeah, and I get up pockets are filled with ketchup Okay, I'm like a match. I mean it's my bit I'm the one that did this. I'm on the ketchup. Okay, I created the ketchup. Okay. All right. Sorry for yelling guys But I fall down the stairs and then you fucking you really hitched your fun top of it and I come up with red fit Oh, right. I scream right and my neck is broke broken So now you have to drag me by my shoulder. Yeah, legs are flopping around like a fish. Yeah, and they're like they're not putting anything And then we don't know how they showed up. We don't even get in. We don't even get it. We didn't even have tickets. What's it like in there? I bet you're so boring. I know. Finger food and small talk. I know Finger food and small talk. Let's take how all these things are I think Holly would event you go to you're like this sucks shit. Yeah, there's always one guy that's like Yeah, I'm Snaked his way in there and he's miserable and you and he has to talk to you and you're like what do you do? He's like nothing. I'm just a producer and I make millions of dollars and I don't fucking do anything. Yeah, I was at the variety party and Comic-Con and I ended up like talking to mr. Frost from X-Men. What's his name? Who mr. Free that mr. Free iceman ice man ice man from X-Men. Oh, X-Men, I don't know Schwarzenegger would have been way cooler as mr. I know I know I'm with ice man. You're gonna go down bad man Yeah, so um you liked Resident Evil and anyway, yeah, what else is out there? It's the point is the point of life We're never gonna get an award. Yeah, but that's cool. I think it's more rock and roll to not get an award But we've been in projects where they get to go. I've been in that situation. We're all going. I'm on the show - you're not going I did three seasons a day even we didn't get nominated once and that's and it was fx's biggest comedy Wow, and we still didn't get nominated because it's all politics. I was talking to Tim Simons about it He was like there's so much Positioning it's so weird. It's not this isn't like who what everybody likes. I mean sometimes it really is But a lot of times it's just look when Leo won He could have won for 50 fucking things. Yeah, why that? Yeah, probably my one of my least favorite projects of his to be honest I think the pressure gets so unreal that they're like we have to give it to him But they could have done it so many other. I know, but there's competition those years You know, well, that's the issue. So it's not the best. It's what slotted the best time. Yeah, it's timing It's what's the best timing for all that shit. Yeah, I want to be that guy when I grow up do fucking one movie a year And it's a banger If every year maybe every two three years, that'd be great We got to get into Tarantino's next and last movie. How do you get in there? We'll pick up those feet pictures again and fucking send that over I saw your chigger feet man Can immediately we get in the film? Yeah, I'm concerned with the cut on your forehead Because I heard yeah, I heard about how I see you don't even know Lift up your hairline in the very front look oh up here that'd be your forehead What happened here? So you were pure wedding on stage. Oh, no, I know what I hit my head on the stage Oh, yeah, I was climbing the stages like this. Okay, so the stage is high at the tabernacle. Yeah, it's very high So I'm like like a spider monkey just hanging off the edge like this, right you get down first Oh, I almost died, you know, McCone as an elevator. I got on his shoulders I don't want to see it there. Okay, do it in fact take to screen off Let's leave the bad friends. Yeah, yeah, leave the bad friends, but I don't want to see another video of that thing We have it. Okay You know because you want to he wants to showcase his work That's what this whole thing is I look at the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I developed you know what I mean very cool Very cool, but it's like check the fuck up. I don't want to see it. That's so your goal. Yeah, what is it with your work? I just want to show my work. Yeah, yeah, but I don't want to see it now We say you know you know when you show your we this is what you do Look what I did this weekend on a phone not on a broadcast like this Okay, okay. Well, we do pay him do it. Yeah, let's check it out here. Okay, you're right and I'll say this okay Did you do I know we're not talking about it But you did you have night terrors on the greyhound? I was really worried. I was going to but no My my my days were terrifying Imagine him sleepwalking up to the bus driver the greyhound. I would have been like everyone else on the bus just crack Screaming out running down those aisles and He got chased by a pack of dogs. No, I can't really I cannot wait to talk about it It's so exciting. He sent me video. I was tracked he gave me his locations. I was tracking him I wanted to see where he was day-to-day like I'd wake up in bed Make coffee Snuggle into my bed and watch little TV before going to set and he's in like you know Ramma wild Texas It was amazing. It was incredible and I saw the bus slowly moving through time and space and then he slept in motels that are Unspeakably shit or on the bus. I slept a lot of nights on the bus The showers in the motels Yeah, I shall somebody I just didn't shower on the bus Bob. There's no shower in the bus. There's a bathroom. Yeah, and it's there a bath Yeah, there's a bath That's part of the song. Yeah, yeah, the bath on the bus goes blish Everybody knows there wheels on a bus and there's bath up in the bus. Yeah, no, there's a fucking no He's showered at motels, but he showed me a motel and I'm telling you dude They always they always look Exactly how you think they're gonna look like disgustingly creepy stain old bed shitty headboard and the round shitty mirror in the bathroom in a little nasty little soaps They're so set motels are tough. They're tough dead motels are Still no checkers on his legs Probably as bad bugs though you have bed bugs for sure. Yeah, I bet you got something you brought something along. How do you get that bugs? I don't want them. How do you work? They're in the sheets really? So if I if I'm in a hotel They go in the bed. They go into the mattress. They go live inside the mirror in and then they have had jagged so if I'm in a hotel right and um I don't know Yeah, I'm a kangaroo. Yeah, I'm a kangaroo. I'm an hotel. How can this kangaroo afford them to nice? I have no idea. What is he doing for a job? Yeah, why did you reduce? Oh, you sell it? Yeah, yeah, this kangaroo sells This we do yeah, so I'm in a bed. I've always wanted I've never googled it But I'm in a bad there's bed bugs in it and I go back to LA. Can I take those bed bugs with me better believe it? Yeah, that's how they get around. Yeah, so they live it in your clothes. They live in yeah, they live in your clothes in your hair Yeah, so you can wash your hair. They can still be in it especially as dense as your hair is whoa. What do they look like? I don't know did you know this is I'm setting you up at a joke Yeah, no, I underhand to you. No, no, my friend and I toss it right Yeah, I hit it right back to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what do they look like? Bup, Bup, set yeah, yeah, yeah, oh back again. Okay. All right, all right So we don't know what they look like they look they're little and they're little tiny black dots They're small right? Bring up a check. Uh, not a checker bring up a bed bug They look like Doc. What's going on, bud? I think I wasn't able to go on the wife. That's why it took me so long to pull up the photo Girl, let's just text it to me You know what would have been smart to work all the stuff out before we got here that had been sick You had a hard night. What you had a hard night? What were you doing you with a girl? We were with some people we met at the show, but also with don't be fucking coin. You were with a girl last night From my show No, there's gonna be a new rule guys What he's not allowed to get pussy from your show. It's my show But you it's my pool of people. Yeah, but you're you need permission. You're in a relationship. You're right. It doesn't matter I have dude my fans. Listen everyone if you're listening. Okay, my fans stay within our clan You don't go outside. He isn't our clan. No, he's not a part of my he he's a part of the bad friends clan But when I do my solo show, it's the Bobby Lee universe. Damn. It's a different. It's like, you know It's a black hole. It's not DC Marvel, but it's like I'm X-Men and he's more you know, I mean regular Thor he's a civilian. Yeah, no, he's a straightaway. You're like the blah. Don't have sex with my fans That's a bad bug. Was you beautiful? She's very pretty. Yeah Anyway, what's this? That's a bad bug. Yeah. Wow They speak like three different languages Most it's seriously. Oh, they're like AOC Yeah, I don't even know it does you speak the angle? I don't know. It's a good job It's a good job, but anyway, but they're also they're native. So we should acknowledge I didn't know they're on stolen bed. Oh They're native to this bad. They're native to this bad every time I climb in a bed in New York I say to this I want I want to do a landing a bed acknowledgment To respect. Oh, yeah, wow and they destroy so you have to burn everything I heard you do you have to light it on fire or you have to Fucking like bleach it. It's crazy. I've known two comics that I've had. I'm not gonna name them. I've never had it in New York Not in LA. Okay, good. I don't think we I don't think you can't get them in no, yeah, I'm sure you can yeah But it's it's probably in very city, but get rid of bed bugs You got a multi-step cleaning heating treating plan clear out trash and messing your bedroom wash your sheets blankets clothes and hot water dry Laundry on high heat 30 minutes vacuum your mattress seems insane to put your vacuum on your bed Just burn your bed Use a steamer heated to 130 on your mattress couch and baseboards zip up covered on your mattress It is it is I've heard it's a genuine nightmare and you just have to throw away your mattress because once they burrow in and they have eggs It's over. Yeah, Los Angeles ranks is one of the top metro areas United States for bed bug activity Wow, wow Oh my god, it's got your address on there Small blood smears on the sheets are dark rusty fecal spots on mattresses and bed frames. That's that's how you know you got it Yeah, now how do they get in there? No dogs maybe - huh? Deep brewing the skin or no. No, no, no, no, okay. They're just itchy. They're itchy My fucking wife and my dogs so much and I want to go home to the pictures are crazy. Yeah, I get the pictures every day They're having fun. They're playing in the backyard Hitchhiking or personal belonging traveling from nearby units brought in second-hand items so they can get there by anything I would assume McCone's yeah, McCone's come pretty close to the second hand furniture like thrifted stuff That's all that's your whole thing. Yeah, but half of its life in furniture Yeah, I walked into his apartment for the first time. I was like that's my everything It was my bed. It was my dresser. It was my coffee table. You're light my light. It was like my whole house A lot of my fucking clothes is that yeah, ton of my clothes. So we learned today Carlos Carlos. What's your character's name? Cone tone galore. Yeah, tone tone galore. See you said so I know that it was you that made it up. It's a hundred percent on you Excuse me. You made up tone tone galore now. He embodied the character But you made it up. I stand lead it. You stand lead it. I stand lead it I think I did I created the character and then it would got it got bigger than you could control I could concord control it It's like AI. It's gonna kill us and get everybody. Yeah, how many years do you think we have left true? I'm being genuine in the way Bad friends or life no before we die Bad friends is life. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It is it is life. No, I'm I do you think I really is gonna happen in two years? They say they buy the end of two thousand thirty that Ten per there's a 10% chance that Civilization could be gone. It's kind of tight. It's pretty tight. I'm gonna get a gun. I'm gonna I have to take a class about the gun. Yes Imagine he's like no, I just want to go I'm gonna go re-learn another history because I don't let's be real I've never held one type or so. Yeah, I've seen them in the movies So I know how they work. I got a gun come over all you can have my you can use my gun So I want to learn how to like with the safety is how to put the bullets in correctly You know what I mean maybe get that you kind you know me with the fucking chamber. You die so fast in the apocalypse I don't have a computer. Oh, yeah, so that's good. That's a good thing. You might be the only fucking Asian guy without a computer on earth I don't want to come with you No, we it's built into us. I got mine removed Yeah, I was a Surreable cortex, but the apocalypse is not gonna be you don't need a gun because they're Gonna poison the water. They're gonna shut off the electricity. This is where they kill us food source food source I'll get $50 water at air one. Everyone won't be around. Oh, fuck You know why what because all the people that work there their preesses won't be able to charge Oh, yeah, because they won't we won't have electricity Yeah, and their bikes and their e-bikes won't work either and the guys on the one wheel you know the one wheel guy Where's he gonna plug that in and that's the entire staff that I love that one wheel guy? You love the one. He's a good guy. It's like the guy that roller skates near the studio. Yeah You know that guy? I fucking love that guy. I love that guy unbelievable. One time I asked him Why do you do this? Because I killed my wife and I All right, thank you for being a bad friend Yeah