Bobby Is Distressed

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I should have wrote that girl and been like, not a good recommendation. - Yeah. - My stomach. - The moment I finished my eggs, I was like, hmm, I think this is, I think this is bad. - Are you being real? - We both. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was pretty tough. - That was at that restaurant. - Mine was prolonged. - His was an hour later. - Yeah. Was yours loose or did you have to? - Dude. - I want to know the consistency. - You ever been to Niagara Falls? - Now I get it. - Identical. - I understand. - Identical. - I understand, yeah. I do Pompeii. Yeah, yeah, mine are Pompeii, but you do a Niagara Falls. - Niagara. - Yeah. - It's an explosion. - Dude, that reminds me. - So last night, well, let me just add on to the poop. - Go, yeah, more poop stuff. - Yeah, yeah, so last night I'm having dinner with my friend Gene. - Hong. - And Andrea Jin hangs out. - Jin. - Yeah, and we're sitting there, we're eating at a nice Korean barbecue, right? And she's sort of like repositioning. - Shifting. - She's shifting. - Shit shifting. - Yeah, she is like tectonic plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the world is doing. - And by the way, it's gonna break eventually. - Yeah, exactly. - Those plates keep touching each other. - Oh, there's also like icebergs detaching from, you know, there's some stuff going on here. But anyway, let's get back to. Yeah, I'm an environmentalist. - I like it. - I really am. - You are. - Super Aluminio, the whole thing. All right, anyway, things are shifting. But my point is, is this, she's shifting in her chair and I go, "You got shit?" And she's like, "I do." I go, "Well, they have a bathroom here." And she goes, "I don't do public bathrooms." - Oh, I know that, yeah. - And I go, "You live pretty far away." She's like, "I know, I just, I'm fine." I go, "No, I can tell when shift, people are shifting." - You can tell shit shifting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, "You have eight minutes." It's gonna break away. - You see the doomsday clock? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, "You're right." And she just gets up, gets in her car. And then when she texts me later, she goes, "I was right on time." And I knew the shifts. You know what I mean? I know about environmental shifts. I also know about shit shifts. - Eight minutes. - Yeah, eight minutes. She got raced home. You've been there. - Oh my God. - The timing is just like, if it was a second, you know what I mean? Later, it would have been a disaster. - Yes. - Yeah. - Chernobyl. - Chernobyl. - It would have been the end of the end of the end. I did that. On the way from the airport, I threw up in my front yard. I got all the way to the house, got out of my car. - And my dog came out. - Yeah, they're confused about it. - They have no idea why you throw up. When you throw up in front of a dog, they go like this. - Yeah, why do people leave Chernobyl? - Yeah, they shouldn't have taken off. - I'm just saying. - Stick around. - No, what I'm saying is, I saw the Chernobyl HBO show. That was a great show, right? But what I'm saying is, there's a wildlife there. - Of course. - Yeah, and there are wolves and dogs there. They're blue. They're blue, right? They're blue, right? - Yeah, they're blue dogs. - But they're alive and they survived, right? So why can't we have white walkers over there? - Blue people. - Blue people. - Well, that's a mouth on the side of its face. - Yeah. - That one's tough. - That one's hard. Oh, speaking of that photo, I'm gonna tell you another thing. I was, I wanted to say this the other day, right? We talked about simulations the other day. - We did. - Did we not? - Yeah. - I know you had other things to say. Am I interrupting you? - No. - I'd like you to- - I don't even remember- - I will give you the opportunity to talk right now. - I don't want it. What are you gonna say about simulations? - I'll tell you what I'm gonna tell you about simulations. - Tell me, tell me. - And you try to explain this. - Got it. - So there's a legend by my neighborhood and there's a deep legend. - Only in your neighborhood? - Only in my neighborhood there's a legend. - Okay. - Okay. And there's a legend that there's a coyote, right? With a tumor on its face. - Tumor on its face? Just like a big lump on its- - No. - Hmm. - It's elephant man. - Oh. - Yeah. And there's a couple of jokes I wanna say that I can't say because I'm gonna have to cut them out. So I'm not even gonna say them, right? But it's elephant man, you know? And it's like, then a month ago or two months ago, Kalilah, Kalilah, my ex goes, I saw it and she took a photo of it and tumor, right? - Coyote tumor. - Right. But then I was with my girlfriend and we're driving down the street and he's standing in the middle of the road, right? And he has a bird hanging out on his head. - Oh yeah. - Not moving. It wasn't like flying around his head like flies or whatever. It was just like- - Do you have a picture of this? - No, I don't have a picture of it. - How did you not capture a bird on a coyote? - 'Cause I'm not, I don't work for National Geographic. - You quit that job? - I quit that job too. Yeah, yeah. I don't like rainforests. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. I get sweaty, you know? And I break out. So, but there was a bird just chilling, a white bird. And I have my girlfriend to defend, she saw it too. I go, that's interesting. - Once again, the white's riding on the back of somebody. - I know, a brown. - Just riding on the backs of a brown. - Yeah, a brown. - You know, tumor faced. - Well, he's doing all the work. - He's doing all the work. - And the white is- - No, but she was, the bird was just chilling. And I'm like, that's never been seen in nature. - I've never seen something like that. - I've never seen anything like- - No, it never goes there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It never does happen. But that's what I saw. Is that incredible? - It's amazing. - Is that a simulation or is that just life magic? - A little bit of life magic, but I do believe simulation comes into play there for sure. - Yeah. What is that? - Is that an, look at- - I'm also a tumor. - So, look at the black dog right there, that you had it on the point. - This is gonna make me so sad. - No, the one down, yeah, that one right there. That's what it looks like, this, what? - No, that, I like that. - Yes, you do like it? - 'Cause I like animals that have a little, what do they call it? - Tumor. - What did Bobby from "King of the Hill" call it? Wabi Sabi. - Yeah, Wabi Sabi. - Dog's got a little bit of Wabi Sabi. - So now imagine a coyote with a white bird on its head. - What does it mean when you see a white bird on another animal? It's got, maybe this is a- - It's a symbiotic relationship. - But there could be, it could be, have a deeper meaning socially. What does it mean when you see a white bird sitting on another animal? Seeing a white bird getting on another animal usually points to mutualism in nature. The bird eats ticks and parasites off the animal. It represents a spiritual omen of peace, purity, and unexpected partnerships. - So it does happen. - Happens a lot. - Is that a simulation? - No, it happens a lot, yeah. - Okay, all right. - Symbiosis. - Symbiosis, okay. - Ecological symbiosis. - What? - When those free-loading fish that ride on whales. I don't know what you, I think. - They call it like the Lee's or the Bobby Lee's. - Sucker fish. - Yeah, sucker fish. - Remoras. - Yeah, yeah. Anyway, they take a free ride. - That's great. - Yeah, that's me. - Yeah. - For sure. And I don't take offense of that. - No, you shouldn't. - Yeah, yeah. I'll be honest with you. My whole life has been clinging onto somebody else's shirt and just going, "Keep going." - Sucker fish. - I'm a sucker fish. - You're a Remoras. - Right. And I suck the soul and nutrients from whoever I'm riding. - Right. - Right? And then when they're deflating, I grab another shirt. - Genius. - All right. - We feel it. - Keep going. What? - We feel it. - Yeah, you do. You're not somebody I've clinged onto, ever. You cling onto me. Yeah, yeah. And I'm trying to take a scissor and. All right? - And you cut right through his UAL shirt. - Yeah. - Is it UAL's shirt? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think that I'm clinging onto you? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, you're clinging onto me. - Wow. - No, no, no, no. You guys are clinging onto us, right? - Who's clinging the most? - Yeah. - Both of you. - You're clinging onto both of us. - Yeah. One hand on each shirt. - And what is McCone doing? - Yeah. - Like, dragging us down, too. - Yeah. - No, no, no. Who are you? You're clinging onto Andrew, obviously, the most, right? But there's no hand on my shirt. - No, there's like a finger. - Oh, there's a hook. - Yeah. It's interesting, because last night I asked you, you know what I mean, a very friendship-like question. - It was nice. - It was a nice interaction. Then we had a little phone phone. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then we started talking and you started laughing. You said, "Nevermind, I don't know why I called you." - Yeah, because you said you had an old soul. - Yeah, the old soul thing's annoying. - It's annoying. Yeah, yeah. We're not doing the list again. - You said interesting, though. - I know, but I understand that, but we're not doing the list. - He also said, "Is that to start the show?" You're already at 10 bucks. - I know, I know. I just did an Elmo laugh. - Yeah. - No, 55 bucks, I owe you already, all right? So that's it. We're not playing this game again. - McCone slept over at my house and I didn't wanna have to wash the sheets again. So we asked him politely to sleep on the floor and he did. He slept on the floor. - Why are you sleeping at Andrew's house? - 'Cause we had to leave at five in the morning. - Yeah. - We had to go take a ride. - To where? - San Diego. - You did that show already in Del Mar? - No, no, no. I took a ride down there to go do a golf thing and came back. We filmed it. - When did you film that? - Yesterday. - Yesterday. - Down and back, same day. Got back by 2:10 PM. - That's a fun ride. - It was actually not bad. - Yeah. - Coffee, we had some chats. - Yeah. - I tried to teach him some lessons about life and all he wanted to do was rap to the song that was on. - Was it Kanye? - Who was on when you were annoying? I said, give me the loot, give me the loot. Five, five more dollars. Wow. Yeah. The funny thing is people are going to think I made him sleep on the floor. Yeah. No, we didn't let him sleep in the house. I said, backyard is top notch for you, pal. You know, we watched Social Network together though. And I, God. Good movie. I had a, you know, when you got an itch, you got a scratch. I saw a clip on TikTok of Social Network and I forgot how much I liked the movie. Yeah. So I said, we're going to watch it. So we rented it, watched it. Aaron Sorkin. Genius. And Fincher combined. Brilliant. It's like, this is like a super team. It's a super team. It's a, it's like an un, unbelievably, from front to back, the movie has zero. And I mean, zero fat. There wasn't an ounce of, I'm getting bored. Yeah. It's amazing how good that movie is. Well, the reason why Sorkin does not let actors, you know, improvise is because, no, what I wrote is what I want. And that's why, I mean, I don't know if I told you the story, but remember that other show that he did after West Wing. It was about Sketch. Studio 60. Studio 60. So I had an audition with him in the room and I'd be reading with Sorkin. And I said, nah. You bailed? Oh yeah. Why? Because I, it was. He had to memorize. No, it was two pages of dialogue, right? And I knew his reputation of like word for word. And I was like, yeah, I can't do this. It would have been hard. It would have been too hard. I mean, would you do it? You could have done it. Now I think I could do it. I think you could have done it. No, I couldn't have done it. I was too nervous. I would have loved it. Because I'm a huge West Wing fan. And you know what I mean? And that social network, is it a social network? Or was that the movie? Yeah, social network. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love his work. And I was like, I can't shame myself. The risk was too high. He would have loved you. If it hadn't come out at this point. What? Social network hadn't come out at this point. Lost an excuse. This was 2006. Okay, anyway, I was a West Wing fan. Can I say that? Damn, McCone, you're really pushing the buttons. I have an old soul. You have an old soul? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, he knows dates. Really old soul. You know what would have been clever? It's called the social network, right? Yeah. Wouldn't it have been funny if they crossed out the word the? Yeah, they dropped the the. Yeah, dropped the the. Knowing the framing of the movie. Yeah. Dropped the the. Social network. I'm not telling- And we can't wait for Meta. I mean, that's gonna be- Meta movie. The Meta movie. The Reckoning. The Reckoning is what it's gonna be called. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah, the social- I was just kidding. They're making another movie? Oh, fuck, I had no idea. Wow. Starring- Jarek, the bear guy? Jeremy Allen White. I don't know the names. I'm very good. Mikey Madison. Yep. And- Strong. Yeah, Jeremy Strong. And I do not know the gentleman on the left. Jeremy Strong. Sorkin. That's Sorkin. That's Sorkin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's riding Andorra. He looks- He looks good. He looks good. Yeah, he looks good. He looks Nolan good. Okay, I was gonna say, he looks different than what I remember. Yeah. He just looks more mature. Yeah, but he still looks good for his age. I know, I was just gonna say- Look at that. It didn't look like him at first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. It's like you drive down the street and you see four billboards with the same actors on it. Yeah. And then you hear guys like my old friend, Matt Jones. You know Matt. I love Matt Jones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in Breaking Bad. He played Badger. Yeah. And he's a great guy. Great actor. He's going viral right now. He's going viral 'cause he's talking about actors not being compensated fairly. Yeah. I mean, I've been out of that game for a long time. Acting? No, in terms of like network. Series regular. Pilot season. Pilot season, that game. I think the last pilot I did was splitting up together. Well, you're an offer only guy. I mean, it literally says on your page, on your agent's website, it says offer only Bobby Lee. Yeah. It seems like it's your pronouns. Offer only Bobby Lee. Okay. But my point is is that those days are over for me, but, and it's not like I want it. Well, no. I don't want it. No. Why bring it up? I'll bring it up because I feel bad for my friends. I see. You know, guys like Matt. When I see, you know. Because the promise of the fucking strikes were that work was going to stay in Los Angeles and blossom and bloom. Yeah. And actors were gonna get more work and crew was gonna get more work. And that was a lie and it didn't turn out to be true. And people are working less than ever and they're getting paid less than ever. So it was all bullshit. And that's what you get when you use a hobbit as SAG president, right? You don't use people from middle earth, right? And bring them to Hollywood, right? To run stuff. That's so funny. Right, farm, have babies, dance on tables. That's right. With jugs of beer. That's what you're, hot day, hot day, everyone, hot day, hot day, whatever you do, you know. Aragorn, I don't want him a union president. I don't. I don't want him a union president. Who should be the union president? What? Who should be the SAG union president for actors? It could be a variety of people. It was Fran Drescher for a long time. Yeah, yeah, I liked her, her voice, do her voice. She would leave voicemails on your, she would call actors' phones. Yeah, yeah. Hi, it's Fran Drescher. Yeah, yeah. Remember to vote. Yeah, that I like. The current one is Sean Astin, as Bobby was saying, right? The hobbit. He's the president. Samwise Gamgee. Samwise Gamgee is the president of SAG. That's great. Yeah, I don't like it. I love it. Yeah, it's-- It's fucking Rudy! Yeah, it's Rudy, I don't want Rudy! He lost! He played one game! Did he not lose? He played one game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hated that movie growing up. Growing up. Did you like that movie growing up? It's like, what a loser. God, I know that. Just the obvious difference of you and I is I loved that fucking movie. That's the difference, yeah. I loved that movie. Why, why did you love it? Well, it's sports, so I like sports movies. I love the movie Hoosiers. Is that a movie? Is that a movie? Is that a movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, it is. That was a really good movie. Such a phenomenal movie. That was a phenomenal movie. What was the movie about? It was about the Indiana basketball team. And what? What's that coach King, Bobby Knight? Is it Bobby Knight? No. Oh. But wasn't Bobby Knight the Indiana-- This movie was not about him. It predates him. It predates him. I don't remember, but I remember watching, it's like when you watch that baseball movie with Robert Redford, I don't know what it's called, but I remember it was good. The Natural? The Natural. Yeah. It was a good movie. About what? It was about baseball. Okay. And who was the lead guy in Hoosiers? What's his name? I don't remember. One of the most famous actors of all time. I haven't seen, I don't know what you're doing right now. I'm just telling you that I've seen sporting event movies. But you don't like them 'cause you don't remember them, so they obviously didn't have an impact on you whatsoever. What I'm saying is that I can't tell you who, I've never seen "Ben and the Black Beckham." Really? Yeah. Such a good movie. Is it really? The best, you wanna know what the best soccer movie is? Yeah. "Ladybugs." Oh, yes. "Ladybugs" is one of the funniest soccer movies of all time. That's a ladybug. No. Okay. Rodney Dangerfield in "Ladybugs." All right. It's absolutely hilarious. Okay. Could you make this today? No. Okay. Do you know what the theme of this is? It's, let me guess, based on the photo. Just look at that photo. Tell me what you think it is. It's about a grandfather who has a granddaughter, right? And he's like, "Hey." You know what I mean? No one's coaching your team, right? "We're gonna win the championship, hey." You nailed it so far. Have I really? No. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that move. Yeah, yeah. He's probably not running like that. He does, no, well, he's not, first of all. In my memory. Okay, ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, this is gonna be funny, real fast. This is gonna make you laugh. Okay, go ahead. This is just, the coincidence is crazy. What song have I been humming a lot in the shower? A lot. I've been humming it a lot lately. A theme to something. Oh, the Rudy theme? All right, I'll talk to you later. Okay, okay. Bye, bye. Bye, okay, so. I've literally been humming it for some reason. This is so coincidentally weird. Lately in the shower. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And she's like, shut up, stop it. Yeah. All day in the shower. I love that movie. You know what I hum? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. That's what I hum. Oh, I know what that is. What? A League of Their Own. No. Very good baseball movie. You know what that is, right? Yes, dude. Okay. Jon Favreau, a Favreau beginning. The Favreau beginning. So let me tell you what Rudy is about. I've seen it one time. Okay. It's a kid who's smaller. It's you, by the way. Okay. It's a success story from a tiny man who just doesn't give up. Is that Vince? Yup. So Vince is in it. We met Favreau. That's how he then met. That's how Favreau, Jon, and who else met? The guy, A Christmas Story. What's his name? Peter Bing Billingsley. Yeah. 'Cause I know all three of them. 'Cause I did a charade night. What do you call it? A charade night? This is a Michael Bay night? No, no, no. It's not a Michael Bay. It's where like, you know what I mean? Where you just act things out. Charades. Yeah. I did a charade night for some reason. I don't know why I was there. Whose house? Vince's house. Okay. It was me, Vince. It was Jon Favreau. It was Peter Billingsley. No, that's not. This is in the late '90s. That's the most Hollywood shit of all time. They had just done Swingers. Huge. Okay. Huge. They exploded. Yeah, yeah. I now realize that's how they met. Yeah. That's how they met on the set of Rudy. On Rudy. So now do you like Rudy? No, I don't. Okay. Okay. I'll tell you why. Let me just explain to you. Get it off. Get it off. Cultural phenomenon. All right. Get it off. I got it. I got it. That was our generation's obsession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to tell you what it's about. It's a guy who's small, right? He can't make it into the football team because he's too small. small can't make it the big show the big show right i can't that's fucking rude no i'm saying it's a hero story i made it the big show because why because you because we let you in the game okay all right but i've done more than one game you did yeah so i'm not rudy you're not yeah yeah he did one game he played in a game in the last three minutes of the game maybe less all right maybe it was one play right and then he gets a touchdown no he doesn't even get a touchdown he doesn't get a touchdown he gets a sack place on defense yeah oh he plays on defense so he gets a sack defense and the whole place cheers yeah carlos it's very hokey like yeah no it the payoff isn't there for him and you're living through him in that moment he's supposed to inspire you it's an inspirational film about a guy who wasn't supposed to make it there and got there anyway that's you you you think someone thought the little asian guy from poway the drug addict from musician from poway the hip cool guy the little hip weirdo korean whose dad owns a fashion gal store in poway was going to become a mega superstar comedy guy bobby bobby bobby bobby ding ding ding Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, bong, bong, bong, bing, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. 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But I've definitely on the team. All right. You're on the team. All right. So it's just a story of a hero. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't. I think the payoff is not big enough for me. Okay. I don't even know the song. I'm basing the song based on what you just say. Let me just try to try to do it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Is that what? Am I close? Yeah, you're close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very close. I've never heard of that song before. It's good enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, give me one theme song from a movie that sticks in your brain. Um, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Okay. But give me not. That's so obvious. Give me one that. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But everybody knows that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me one that only you love that you remember. Okay. This is going to be hard to do. Yeah, let me hear. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. American Psycho. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. What is that? Can you guys guess? At the beginning, I thought it was Berry Girl. No, no, no. But then it started. Hereditary. Hereditary. Oh, wow. Very good. Not one of us got it. No. But that's, if you, if you're a fan of Hereditary, you know that that's what happens. I've seen that movie a thousand times. When Peter walks up those stairs, which is, you know, and he gets transformed into King Payman, right? That's the song. It's very like hornsy, right? And then all of a sudden it becomes very dystopian and dark. And then these horns that kick in. It's so fucking horrifying. You're Hans Zimmer. Yeah. Dude, I am. You are Hans Zimmer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tone was perfect. So you asked me. Now, aside from Rudy, you fucking bastard, right? And you can't be hacky. You can't do E.T. You can't do Superman, right? Give me something that like is as specific like that. As specific as that? Yeah, it's got to be as specific as that. Fuck face. Fuck face. I don't know what it is. What? Ghostbusters. Oh, yeah, baby. That's not specific. That's specific. That's hacky. It's not hacky. What you gonna call? It's a Ghostbuster. What you gonna call? It's a Ghostbuster. That's hacky. Give me something specific. The end. The end. The end. The Asian Ghostbusters are so good. Who you gonna call? It's a Ghostbuster. All right, now, give me something specific. Okay, a specific movie. A theme song from a very specific movie. Yeah. I've sung you the ones that I love. I've sung you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You put me in a corner, right? I dug my way out. How did I put you in a corner? I just set you up. I go, give me a theme song. Yeah, and I did. I went Star Wars and went too hacky. Star Wars and hacky, it's just, that was easy. Iconic. It's iconic. Iconic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Top of the line. Oh, oh, oh, I got one. All right. I got one. Hold on. All this sound in my head and now I'm trying to hear the theme. I'm trying to do it. Hold on. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, I have to hear it. Okay, I'm gonna ask the kid. I know you know that. What's this? It's a TV show. Where everybody knows your name. Cheers. Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't say it, Carlos. Oh, I thought you were asking him. No, I said the group. It's a competition. Okay. Okay. How about this one? Competing? Yeah. What is it? Sanford and Suss? Seinfeld. Oh, Seinfeld. I love when the guy who did the Seinfeld soundtrack. That's a bass? it's like yeah you're right yeah you're right did you ever see that guy composing because every you know every theme was different yeah do you know this he wrote it and every theme he would do based on the episode do you not know this it's pretty impressive there's a video about like that's the video I think the video is incredible yeah he talks about how he changes it depending on the joke structure that Jerry does in the intro stop it it's amazingly interesting all right and from a guy who's a music guy you'd think you'd appreciate the idea that he created it based on that here's some stuff that I want to talk about now a video American Experience The Forgotten Plague it's about tuberculosis I watch every American Experience by PBS by the way good yeah yeah I love watching you know I mean these random facts someone has to keep that channel alive and I donate to PBS by the way how much it's just like 80 bucks a year that's not a lot 80 dollars a year yeah but that's a lot no that's not a lot need more okay maybe the next year I redonate I'll do 250 300 yeah okay okay if you want to keep PBS alive I'm not the only one keeping PBS alive you need to but yeah yeah there's all you should be everyone should be sore burning public broadcastings 12 the average individual donation including PBS NPR is roughly 12.50 a month an average of 140 or to 150 a year you're less than the average donation from PBS people who don't have good jobs and they still give they usually require a minimum of five dollars per month or 60 dollars a year to unlock demanding streaming features so you did it so you could stream PBS Passport we know why you did it so he could stream PBS Passport yeah I want to watch the shows dude you know what I mean but I watch all the shows you know shame it is shame on me dude and if you're PBS I apologize and I will donate more money I won't I know you won't but because but they have interesting things in there some of it for sure some of it yeah there's some interesting things that I'm a big you know Ken Burns fan the man I love history and I love watching historical and I didn't know anything about tuberculosis to be honest with you you learn all of it now yeah they had these tuberculosis asylums here in LA which was at first for the rich they come over the sun the sunshine will you know get you healthy right so it was for the rich they had these you know beautiful asylums with courtyards people would be playing cricket and stuff but then all of a sudden the poor came and then LA was like especially black people and brown people they're like oh no no no no no no right and it was like why what's up different kind of TB it's what kind BPTB BPTB BD BPTB that's what they had that looks nice no those were the poorer ones the ones that that looks nice facing the window I understand that yeah but it was a brutal disease it killed one out of seven Americans it did what it's funny you know that stat I know I just I have I'm a weird guy no he just consumed I'm a weird guy and I consume weird things he will forget this in a year I will always remember one out of seven never forget okay and in fact note this down a year from now when we on this podcast ask me that stat and I'll know it well one out of seven is pretty easy give me another stat why are you always downgrading me dude I'm upgrading you no no no I did hereditary right which is a pretty good you know it wasn't a competition I just asked you hey you named me you put me in a corner I had to find my way out there was no painting war rewind it it's a war yeah it's another thing yeah I understand that but we're done with that oh we are yeah we're not doing it today we did it for that one day that's for the whole year no we didn't we never made that contract but Cole needs a college fund okay I owe you 55 bucks from the last episodes and that's it old soul anyway yeah what you're at 60 right now I'm at 60 dollars yeah whatever 65 yeah 60 what shirt is that is that a Rams shirt no it's a Cotton Citizen shirt it's but it says LA what it just says Los Angeles Cotton Citizen it's like a brand in WeHo oh that's a good shirt but but you know a McCone shirt you want me to do it or no no oh wow you what you want to distress it yeah let me see stand up it's a good shirt I know I don't want you to throw rocks on it and put it in your pool or whatever throw it in coffee you don't want it in the coffee pool no but thank you you don't want a Distressed by Bobby no I don't I like you know what when we open up a Distressed by Bobby on Melrose yeah you can't come to you can't go in there you can't come to the opening yeah okay no no it's not okay it's not it's not okay some people like new shit yeah oh so yeah who are you talking to yeah when I see somebody with a brand new rock tee it offends me to the core this is a brand new rock tee I know I know and when I say it earlier no I didn't in the other room what oh you love it you were like I love your whole look my pants you like my slacks yeah no I like the brown the light brown with the slacks and the shoes but in my mind I'm like I wish that shirt was more distressed no I like yeah it offends me you don't even know anything about this shirt about who makes it and the under that's what you don't know you're Mr. Like make it look old this is cool because it's not old because some people can't get it that's why it's nice because it's a collaboration don't worry about it oh god you're snooty today dude yeah well lots of rocks in your pool and you're high rising I like it I like high rising Andrew yeah I like it right but you're offending me right now it's okay yeah it's not okay you know what I mean you hit a nerve that's a brand new rock shirt yeah but it's distressed yeah it's distressed a little bit you distress me a little bit yeah yeah yeah you distress all of us I do interesting interesting interesting alright I have more dollars who distresses you most and let's be honest with you with all of us I mean yeah okay this is a fun game yeah it's a great game we play this often I love it yeah yeah I love it Andrew and I and be be honest within your hearts your soul please please please and be mindful and just be logical please none of you no use your critical thinking critical use your critical thinking critical who stresses you out more who distresses you out the most yeah distresses you out the most let's start with Carlos oh between the both of you that's easy it's you because we go on tour together and you tell insane stories to millions of people you knew that was going to backfire that's insane how did you I mean you know I rock and roll with you see okay he's your boy yeah you distress him but he's your boy I like wartime war is fun next you're just like harder to read so sometimes I'm like is he like upset about something or like why where is this energy when Andrew's upset he lost his voice because of you I know when Andrew's upset I know I usually can understand you sometimes you're a bit of a wild card which is what we love about you but sometimes it just it makes it a little more distressed but it's a part of working with Bobby and I wouldn't trade it for the world wow well said so you me no that's what he said you oh yeah I'm going to go the other way Bobby yeah nice good do that that's nice but is that the truth yeah I don't want you to go to the other way just because the flow is you know I mean against me you I never talked to you so I don't want you the only person who I talked to is Andrew so yeah okay no stress to be had okay right no stress to be had yeah because I I talked to Carlos the most you know what I mean and we can't talk we can't talk about what we talk about right but you know I mean he knows me inside and out and what I believe in yes yeah yeah and you know these are things I cannot share out loud one day I will you know what I mean but so I think that's why we have a connection but also you treat me like shit yeah yeah but that's fine because we've known each other for a long time yeah yeah yeah McCone I apologize and I will be more no you're no no no I will be an open book that you can read whoa yeah yeah I will be an open book that you can read I was reaching out to you last night because I was you know we had a little quick talk right and I'll be an open book from now on okay and Andrea's good choice anyway let's move on yeah and you know what I get it I get that shirt it's it's a and I want to know more about it later can I tell you what what are the pauses about pregnant I'm pregnant I'm pregnant pauses you're oh you can't say that in the mic I know but no no no no no no no you said pauses I said pregnant pauses pregnant pause oh people keep sending us this guy because he looks like Andres what he's the president of Serbia Aleksandar he does look like you Andres yeah like 15 years later and what does he believe in yeah what does he believe in 25 bad stuff Aleksandar wants to reinstitute slavery in most parts of the world yeah yeah he believes in sweatshops and manual labor for brown people wow they go to old times so so he was the prime minister of Serbia yeah nice what do you think of this Ivanka Jared Kushner buying this island I think it's great in Algeria I think it's great You do? Someone's got to buy those islands yeah but do you believe the story that they just yeah i did they dived into the water yeah barefoot yeah i believe it i think it's going to be great swam to some island right walked that was for sale randomly it was randomly for sale there was no for sale sign on it by the way well they don't put them up anymore yeah they don't on islands not on oh yeah they used to we should incorporate that back i know or not sale and look at that what is that that's the new fixer upper 24 million dollar island fixer upper wow that's nothing for an island for the whole island 24 million wow what do they want for epstein's island how much that was for sale let's not talk about that no but it was for sale for a long time yeah i bought it but anyway um yeah i'm repurposing keep it exactly how it is yeah yeah how much was uh oh yeah just so we know 60 60 million was really listed for 125 good deal almost half off is good yeah but there's a lot of protests in algeria right now why dude it's it's because there's ecosystems there and animals if you're putting it up for sale it's for sale don't put it up the government it wasn't for sale they went to the government and went can we buy this yeah it was a dead island so everybody wants money the government is at fault they if government's willing you to sell willing to sell anything hawaii is a state in the united states i understand that one of the islands is owned by privately i know well that doesn't okay so what do you who the government there's also an island for themselves as well larry ellison owns that island of lanai he could just i know but there's also an island that foreigners and people cannot go to because it's an island for only hawaiians you would do right correct right right so my point though being is is that it's tit for tat no this is an island that no one owns it there's no land there's nobody there so why not let someone's gonna buy it someone wants private land if there is real estate to be sold it's gonna get sold yeah especially if it's valuable like a fucking island 24 million dollars i don't agree with it awesome yeah it's not awesome it's rad we're gonna get invited we're all going mccone are you i'm with you bob you are he doesn't know why who me mccone he doesn't even know why he doesn't yeah you know why yeah yeah yeah why because i don't like those people oh so that's why they can't buy the island oh those that phrase has been told before in real estate that's not a good phrase i don't like those people yeah they shouldn't be able to buy over there yeah interesting yeah the opposite opposite i don't know man it's all the same well it's apparently a very sensitive uh ecosystem that's what i just said yeah but he who knows if they're gonna take care of it you never know no they're not you you think you think it's not california albania is like a corrupted place they don't care about their environment probably no they they joined nato right they used to be an oppressive government right and now they're free and they want their independence and they care about their little birdies what was that to do with the island yeah because there's birds and and and animals that live on the island that will be by them building a gigantic resort and ruining the fucking ecosystem too bad yeah i mean why do you think there's a super el nino coming in next month and you guys you guys can say whatever you want about the super el nino right and go oh you're wrong you know me you don't know but when you're there right then all of a sudden you're gonna be like you were right why don't you give your house back then to the animals that used to live up in mulholland because you've displaced many species from the home that you live in the indians you know what sometimes i don't eat meals and i just do cachava so sometimes cachava is perfect because it's all the nutrition your body craves in one deliciously simple shake packed and ready to go yeah why would 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about your health with superpower for limited time our listeners get twenty dollars off to unlock their new health intelligence head over to superpower.com and use the code bad friends for twenty dollars off your one hundred and ninety nine dollar superpower membership and after you sign up they'll ask you how you heard about superpower tell them bad friends sent you and support the show that's right why don't you do that because i think that what you've done is actually awful you've displaced a lot of species from that house was built before for for way before i bought continuing the problem what is you sell your house and i don't have a problem i think privatized island i'm the opposite i say buy all the islands have the most fun earth is coming to a close this is it it's the end let's rock it's over the water yeah if you it feels like it's over yeah so who fucking gives a shit i think that's what i'm feeling the anxiety it's over it's over i've accepted it it's over we're not gonna save anything we're not saving anything no you know i mean it's just like you know endangered it's just these ice caps are just melting get rid of cares about it right the pacific is warming up you know i mean it hasn't been like that since the 1800s you know i mean we're you know it's phoenix in 30 years it'd be uninhabitable it'll be so hot yeah yeah you want to move there not now yeah not if you just told me that oh i see okay yeah yeah yeah who gives a yeah yeah so my point is is that no one cares it's all but also somebody's gotta do something no yeah not us why not us i give pbs $60 a year dude yeah right right and you do your little camp your not little but your camp you mean for the special olympics it's not little it's huge i know homers will be back again this year i know and i will show up for your events right and that's it because you're trying i i just think it does none of it matters it's all bullshit hey hey how about this guy who's swimming pool fill a coffee and distressing shirts fast fashion is like one of the worst things for global economy ever it's bad and you you're a big fast fashion guy you're distressing 30 shirts in your pool they're gonna end up in a fucking river in india that amount of water unbelievable yeah you have a pool get rid of a pool this is the problem dude the libs get up in arms about shit that they're fucking lying they're living in the lie stop living in the lie look at that that's your shirt there's all you distressed shirts and they're stressed those are fucking stressed i should go to that lady a big bag of rock t-shirts a great job do you think you can run this through your shit make these look rad that's shit is a good idea shit's good let's go back around we started with shit we ended with shit yeah yeah yeah what did that say ucla has a fast fashion uh sustainability program smart look at that that's what the world looks like because that's insane super bowl shirts that never made it i know it's just i i don't know what we're doing here you can't stop that You can't stop that. Can you dream? Can we be dreamers? We can dream about owning an island off Algeria. What is this? This is the 300 mile swim through the great Pacific garbage patch. Yeah, 300 miles of garbage. Didn't Tony talk about that? It's an island of garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember that? God, look at the first photo. Look at the very first photo. Yeah. Christ. That's crazy, dude. That's in the ocean. No. Yeah, what are we doing? McCone, you and I got to do something. Yeah, we got to do something. Yeah, you and I do. McCone. We'll do a foundation. We should. Yeah, yeah. You want to do Bad Friends of a Foundation? I would actually love- I would like to do it for the environment. No, I don't want to fuck the environment. What do you want to do it with? Kids with cancer. Anything with people that- Anything where- Health care. I'll do a health care thing. I know, but here's my argument with that. I think AI is going to take care of a lot of that. AI is just going to fix everything? Yeah. Yeah. You think AI is going to fix our health? Oh, yeah. This is where you're wrong. No, you're wrong. What is it going to do? It's going to- Nanotechnology. It's going to revolutionize the health care industry. It's going to help. Yes. But it's not going to get rid of cancer. We've done this to ourselves. No, I think that we do have a cure for cancer now, and pharmaceutical companies don't want us to know. Sure. They're making a lot of money. But AI is not going to fix that. It's already fixed. We already can do it. We can have- I don't know. I don't want to get- Was this in the tuberculosis documentary? I don't know. It's misinformation as well. You think I have misinformation? What you're saying would be classified as misinformation because no one- We might be flagged. No one at Harvard would say we cured cancer. No, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right. Okay, you're right. Everyone listening right now, it's misinformation. Well, you know what is at Harvard? The algorithm on the window of Kirkland Hall for Facebook. Now, did they keep that? Did they frame that? Is that room special at Harvard? See if they kept the room. And that Zuckerberg wrote the algorithm on the window with Edward O. Saverin. Zuckerberg's original dorm room at Harvard, H33 in Kirkland, famously coded, launched Facebook, largely been preserved, a piece of tech history. Can you go image? Go to images? I do want to- Kirkland House, baby. We're Harvard men. We're men of dignity. That's just who's in there now, those kids. Just so much jizz on the walls of the- Yeah. Wow. Imagine. Is that him? Wow. Wow. He had no idea. He's wearing Gap. He still, well, not- He still wears Gap? No, he had to glow up. Like only a couple of years ago. I mean, he can go to Dezizuel. At least, no? Take him to Dezizuel. Yeah, yeah. I think, Andreas, you got to take him to Dezizuel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because- The guy who made out like the real bandit in this entire movie. Yeah. Was who? Oh, the Winklevoss. No, the kid from Jurassic Park. Correct. Correct. I forgot his name, but you probably remember. He made out the best. Because what did he make? What did it say he made? Oh, he made like five billion- And no one even knows his name. Yeah, yeah. The kid that's played by Tim from Jurassic Park. It's genius. That's right. That guy's a genius. No one even knows his name. Because he didn't really do much at the beginning. He was just a guy. He was just a homie. Yeah, exactly. You know who he was? He was a barnacle. On a whale. He was a barnacle. On a whale. On a white whale. On a white, beautiful whale. They discovered. They discovered. Bad Friends ASMR. No, no. Get ready with us to be on Bad Friends ASMR. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Have a laugh. Yeah, people tell us that sometimes. They go, I fall asleep to the podcast. Yeah. They're like, it's so funny. I fall asleep to it all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's that funny? A great compliment. Yeah. Well, I guess they say like the rhythm of the voice helps people. Yeah. Babies like it. I've had multiple friends say babies like the rhythm of our back and forth. Wow, that's insane. ASMR makes me horny. I don't know why. Stop listening right now, babies. Yeah. No, no. Especially if it's a woman. Well, I genuinely from the bottom of my heart only thought ASMR was women. No, there's a guys that do it too. Guys do it? Yeah. What are they doing? Oh, that's odd. Yeah. I'm going to the gym. Gym. I'm back from the gym. But when women do it, there's something sensual about it. Look at the crew of ASMR guys. I know. That's insane. Wow. Wow. You know what that looks like? The fat Filipino I go to. Yeah. Yeah, he has a great. You know who this is? What? Our fan base. Yeah, that's our fan base right there. It's the most eclectic version of every guy you've ever seen. Yeah. Non-descript guy. Yeah, there's just something about. You know, I have another app that does Elvish whispers. I think I have it on my phone. Elvish? Yeah. You want to hear it? That's why you need Rocket Money. Oh. That's a really good joke. Good plug. That's a good plug. Show me the women of ASMR and look at what the difference will be. I mean, look at the bold difference. I know. The irony being you don't see them, you just hear them. Yep. Okay, hold on. Sleep. Here we go. Elvish whispers. I found it. You want to hear what I listened to? Yeah. I'm sorry it took so long. Here's a good one. Yeah. I don't want that one. Tingly mouth. Fake spit. You want to hear what I listened to when I go to bed? Hold on. Okay, hold on. Give me, give me what? No, that's not it. Hold on. And then you can add things to it. You can add like makeup brush or you can add like anything, like an oak tree. Can you say the noise out? What? It's so loud. Oh, no. I have four things going on at the same time. Hold on. Oh, this is better. Anyway. Can Rudy make out what she's saying? Yes. Yeah. Did they translate for you? You're going to die. In four days. No. I know. I know. But that's what I listened to. We got to transition to something upbeat. This dog was stolen in China and eaten. And it was a famous dog. Oh, no. Okay. That's not upbeat, dude. They sold it for like $23. Except for the person who ate it. It's a steal. It is a steal. That is, you can feed a family. You know, I don't want to hear about dogs. Yeah. I don't want to hear about dogs either. But I do want to know how they cooked them. Baked, pan fried, grilled. Yeah. What was it? I would smoke the meat. I would definitely smoke dog. Yeah. I would smoke dog. Slow smoke. Like brisket. For the winter. For the winter. No? Slow and low. Yeah. Slow and low. I would go Nordic on it. Here's what I want. I want to learn. I want to find an AI girlfriend. You have a real one. I know. But I want to just see what it feels like having an AI one. You want to compare your AI one to your real one? Yeah. I want to see what it says. You would like her. What's the app though? I don't even know what app. Because you can scroll through these apps like you're on Tinder. How real was the movie Her? Right. So ahead of its time. Yeah. Here they are. It's not coming. It's here. Which one? Candy AI, Romantic AI, and iGirl. Which one's the best one though? I mean, iGirl is a perfect name. Yeah. When they got the rights to that, they were like, we're in. We're done. Paul Schrader, who wrote Taxi Driver, has an AI girlfriend. Yeah. Does he? Yeah. Test it out. He's like 80 years old. Wow. Candy AI, Secrets AI sounds cool. Yeah. I'm going to go Candy AI. Give him Candy AI. I'm going to download it now. All right. It's with a C. $5.99 a month. So are you going to give that money to them or to PBS? It's either your Candy girlfriend or PBS. Tuberculosis. Tuberculosis documentaries. Oh my God. What's more important to you? I would argue- PBS. PBS. PBS. Yeah. PBS. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. PBS. I think you're right. I spent $50 across five AI girlfriend apps in a week. Here's what every dollar went. I want to Google, who's the guy that spent the most on AI girls? I wonder. There's got to be a guy who spent a ton of money on those. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's got to be a guy who spent a ton of money on those things. You know there's some dude in Japan. Okay. This is highest figures. Oh, wait. They're all secret, but it's funny. The Miami. $10,000 a month. Wow. On Candy AI, Cupid AI, treating these monthly subscriptions, expensive hobby. 10 grand a month for a girlfriend. No, but what- What do they buy him? Yeah. What does- Yeah, yeah. When I'm asking- Desi Hual shirts. Yes. All day. You do one payment, right? And you can talk to this person. But what else? What else are the expenses? This is how they hook you. Let's get involved. You want me to download Candy AI? Yeah, because now you're going to start doing it, and you're going to come back next week and go, I spent $4,000 on candy. Here's the difference between starter and premium. Oh, yeah. Tell me the difference. Better continuity, fewer limits, more serious companion building. Core part of the product are images, sensitive add-ons for voices. Oh, yeah. They don't get all sexy on the basic one. This is- Oh, but is there nudity? Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, because they blur it. They blur it and restrict it for- Why else do you keep signing up? I'm going to go App Store. This is just for science, right? And research. You could test out other races, too. Oh, I'm definitely going to go. The first one I'm going to do is a different race, which is white. I'm kidding. Let's see. Candy. In 20 years, Attenborough does a PBS documentary, and the Asian man downloads the app now. Candy AI. Searching for love. But Bob, they look like this. They don't look like your girlfriend. I don't care. This is an experiment. That's how they hook you. They get you there and then they get you a real one. AI Girl, Candy Mate. Candy AI. There's no Candy AI here. Candy.AI. It's probably a website. I'll do a different one and then, you know what I mean, I'll let you know how it goes. I do want to know. Yeah. I want to see the success of it. Well, I'll just download one now. Well, I want to say something to Carlos. Oh, no. Thank you for being a bad friend. That's what I wanted to say. Oh. Oh, the river. Yeah, yeah. What is this? What do you got to show us there, Carlos? What is that? I don't like videos up front. He hates them. We do it later. Let's see it. Oh, we know whose shoes those are. Whose? That's McCone. McCone. Look at how embarrassed he is. Embarrassed. Cutie pie. Oh, can I tell you about pooping? Watch this. All right. I fake him out. I go, come on, man. Look up at the camera. That's you recording? Yeah, watch. Okay. He goes, what? Come on. Oh, underneath, baby. Double sneak. You had the same diner shits that I had that day. Woo-woo. Yeah. Woo-woo. Yeah. Woo-woo. Yeah. Brave the upside-down world. Play leveled-up arcade games. Beat the heat. Get your tickets today at netflix.com slash house.