Bo Derek | Club Random with Bill Maher

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I don't know if it sound like that. I don't want to be that guy, but I feel very plastic baggy today because, you know, I'm 70, but I'm feeling fine. Right behind you. Yeah. And, you know, when you have this age, you've had shit. So, like, if you feel good and don't have to deal with the health, that's a good day. It's beautiful day in California. I get to talk to you. I get to have a drink, which I allow myself. So, once a week. Right. Mostly you. I mean, I just. You just don't do a lot. So, that you would come here. It's just very meaningful to me. I appreciate it. Well, that's interesting because I am a big fan, don't miss your show. So, when I got the invitation to come, I said, yes, and then I thought, what the hell am I doing? Plenty. What are we going to talk about? We're not going to have any problem. Okay. I mean, if you've seen this thing, you know, I mean, I just. I have no agenda, no questions. I said, when we started, if I'm going to do a podcast, there's already a million. It's not going to be like the other ones, which really are just the old talk show. They have mics, they have cards, they have questions. I have pot and liquor. Great. And no pre-interview. Pre-interview. Oh. No, but I come from Johnny Carson, days, and. And I used to have big fights because I would never do a pre-interview. Yeah, because you're a big star. No. Because you get away with it. I'm not very good at my job, so the idea of having to tell a story once, and then two nights, later I have to be funny and tell it again, was I wasn't very good at it. It's really hard to do. And of course, in those days, also, like, the way the shows were, they thought of themselves, I'm sure, as politically correct, but like, they just wanted to have the hot actors in the short skirt. I know. You know, I mean, you see, to this day. I know. All these, you know, super-walk people, but like, all the actors will come up right to this very day. I'm talking about, you know, the main late night shows, Colbert, and they, and they, they're, it's either tits or legs, but it's a lot of skin. And a lot of flirting. A lot of flirting. Which is gross. Because who would want to fuck those guys? I mean, me, I could see. Yeah. Yeah. But not those guys. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm right there, and I remember, I, what was it? Larry King, I think, before I went on, they said, "Don't flirt with Larry." Larry. I love Larry. But I wasn't going to flirt with him. No, I was. Well, he wasn't married eight times. I know. And I knew Larry very well, and we weren't flirting. All the member, he kissed Brando that time. Yeah. And that time Brando kissed him. Yes. What the fuck was that about? Brando. I know a little bit about him. Weirdo, right? Because my husband was older than I was, and in the business, my first husband, and. Whose name you retain? Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I love it. It seemed kind of weird when you're famous to change your name, your last name. I know, right? That seems cori or something. And yeah, Brando kissed Larry Keith. Yeah, he did. I guess he was just. He was boy. What a genius, but. I know. What a character, you know. A character, yeah. And friends. And a lot. Practical jokes. He was a friend of my husband, so I was around when. He pulled some very, very intimate kids. Oh, really? You met Brando? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And. Dish. It was great. I'll. Just one thing that is. I think funny. It was funny at the time. He was when my husband's second wife, Ursula Andres, who was. Wow. Yeah. Was John Derek's second wife? Yeah. She just. There's just never been a face like that. Ever. When she was coming out of the water in the James Bond. I know. You know? Yeah, when athletic women were at the style then, too. And it'll. you did a little coming out of the water yourself. I think Blake had that in mind. And you look like you still could. Oh, thank you. No. You look like a aged. Glad back to Brando, when he was writing his autobiography. He actually called Ursula and he couldn't remember whether they had made love or not. He knew they had dated, but he couldn't remember. And he wanted her to verify whether it happened or not. That's in Stray Santa's book. What? Not the same idea, not the same people. It's like. I don't know if you saw that she put out her autobiography a couple years ago. It's like 900 pages, but it is worth it. It's. I'm not just saying that because she's a good friend, but it's just such. It's first of all, it's so obviously her voice. Oh, good. You know, it's not like as told, too. And she. I know she. I'm talking her many times as she was writing it. She really cared about putting it down. And, like, her life is just amazing. I mean, there was not one guy who worked with her, you know, for decades who didn't try to get with her. You know, from earliest times. And the best story, apropos, of what you're saying is she does a line in there. It's like a high coup. It's like, "Did I sleep with Warren, Betty?" Maybe. I think so. I don't know. I'd have to think about it. You know, it was like. She couldn't remember whether she literally had sex with the biggest lethario ever in Hollywood. So, what does that say about? I think that. We're not young. I think there must be a point of no return where you have so many that you can't remember. I guess. Yes, that's part of it, certainly a guy like Marlon. well, Marlon Brando, too, who tried to get with Strison. Did he? Yeah. You didn't know that. Oh, yeah. But it's in her book, you know. I'm telling you, everybody. And she's bewitching. I can see why. But. So, Larry King. Yes. We're starting on Larry King. I love Larry. But most of the time when I knew him closely to him, he was married to the last wife, the Mormon, Sean. Still around. Sean. Yeah, so we're not still talking shit about her. But it was public record that they, you know, had many marital problems. But, you know, when you would see them out together, it's this phenomenon that you were bringing up that, you know, he's Larry, he's not a terrible looking guy, but, you know, he's not a ethereal, like, you know, he, some of your leading men, I'm sure Tarzan was certainly some. I don't remember the movie well, but I remember thinking, well, this guy has some great shampoo for a man who lives in the jungle. Right. Because his hair was like fucking perfect. I know. I know. I mean, he and Jane looked like they met at Equinox. Yeah. He definitely did. But there's Larry, and Sean was like a foot tall and model looking, you know, she, yeah. Yeah. And I can't say anything. My husband was third years older than I were. So it's hard for me to judge, although I do, I shouldn't. No, you can. Yeah. Because we learn. Because we learn. We grow. When we learn, right? Life is judging. Yeah. I mean, you can be judgy, which I fucking hate. Judging, um, yeah, what's the difference? Well, judging is, judging is making a choice about your settled opinion on any issue. Okay. And that's okay to do. You know, there are some examples that would be obvious. Are we judging pedophilia? Yes. We're saying, I make the judgment that this is wrong. But judging, meaning about everything. Well, most things. I mean, I mean, you seem to feel a little guilty about this, and I'm saying you shouldn't. Because all we're saying is humans, well, humans will human. They're just going to do the human-y thing. Yes, they are. And with men, look, I'm 70 and never got married. We don't need to go into why that is, but let's just say water rolls downhill. That's my view. which is, and for men, downhill is women. You know, it's like sex, the urge to be, you know, that the water's always gonna roll downhill. - Okay. - To that. - Yes, yes. - With most heterosexual men. - Yes. - And certainly with gay men. - That's just our animal behavior. - Right. I mean. - How about if you know, you know animal, you love animals, you know how. - Boy, do it. - You know the drive, the animal drives very strong. We pretend it isn't in humans, but it is. You know, we both, I'm a Peter Board member. I know you, I know one thing I do know about you is you love horses and care for them. We, we have a mutual, (laughs) enemy, usually people say, I have a mutual friend. - Yeah, you know, when you're with me, I got a lot of beefs. I didn't start any of them, they're all wrong. But yeah, Liam Neeson is, I had a public feud with him. - Is that why? - No, no, I'm just saying, but I know you love horses, so I know you're gonna be on my side. His side is, he's pro the horses in Central Park. - Yeah. - That's horrible. - Yeah, I, I-- - I judge that. I judge that as horrible. - Yes, yes. Now, could it be done, could touristic rides on those horses in a humane way with animals? - With horses? - No. - You don't think so at all. They should not ever be-- - Well, certainly not, not, not, not stoned and shitting in a bucket. - No. - And like, so they're, they're so spirit is broken as they stand all day outside of the hotel. I used to stay in the hotel, of course, from Central Park. It's stunk of horseshit. - No, it's terrible. They shouldn't be on the street. - Yeah. - They should be only in the park. They should give that backfield for them to have turnout. I've been through this with people. That backfield with turnout and stables, proper living arrangements. - And that's what you have for your, you have horses? - I do, I do, I have two. I have two, I used to have a lot. Where we differ, I would think, because I know I've come up against PETA on a couple of issues is horse racing. I imagine you don't care for that either. - I don't. - Yeah. - And they're, I recently talked to Ingrid and New Kirk that had a PETA about it. And she said, it's circling the drain. They've gotten, it stopped in a lot of places. - Horse racing? - Yeah. Do you think it's? - I don't think it's because of PETA. - Yeah, it is. They're very, they're really good at lobbying support. Who else would it be? Who else gives it shit? - It's a lot of things. I was a racing commissioner here in California for seven years. - Why do you think it's not bad for the horse? You think the horse is okay with that? - I think at a certain level, yes. I think in California, it's okay. If we're going to use horses at all. - But they, I mean, they often break their legs and then they have to be put down. - In the old days, yes, and in certain states and certain jurisdictions. But that's why when Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he was governor, he asked if I would be a commissioner and he wanted me to look after the horses. And I think you could argue that while I was there, we changed some rules that really made a difference. - Well, that's good. But aren't we? - You're not convinced. - It's okay. But you know, we don't have to have beef. I don't want to have beef with anybody. Disagreements are fine. - I know, but it was a great opportunity to learn about the industry and make some real changes. - So here's a story that makes sense to this. I went to a party, a friend of mine. He's a great guy, I love him. And he's become very successful. And I was a beautiful house very near here. But this is like 15 years ago. He was living in an apartment, but he wanted to have this photo-belavish, you know, exotic, different kind of party. So this is in an apartment. I walk in and there's a camel in the lobby of the building. And I go up and there. So it was like, yeah, some sort of animal themed, or you know, and then outside, you know, it's in an apartment. And then like out on the patio is a fucking tiger. And I mean, as a pita person, I was just getting more and more. And there was room full of a-listers. And I knew some of them were like sympathetic to the cause I was like, we gotta tell Michael, you can't have a walk. Okay, this is just not right. And finally, a few of us go up and then get and convince them and Arnold's like, where's your walks in? And he goes, I want the sea to tiger. (laughing) - It's good. Yes. No, I worked with Tippie Hadron. We went to DC and everything on that. - The birds. That you that Tippie Hadron? - Yeah. But you know, she gave up her career for various reasons, but one was to help endangered animals. And especially wild animals being pets. She really fought that. - She probably felt guilty about how much they had to fucking torch your birds to get that. - It was later when she did a movie called Roar. - No, we didn't. - With some wild cats. One of them took Melanie was a little girl actress in the movie, took her forehead off in the movie. Yeah. - In the movie. - And she, in the movie, while they were shooting it, it actually happened. But Tippie learned by working with the animals. She thought she loved them. She had, I think, one or two as pets, but she learned in the process that this is not right. And wild animals belong in the wild. - They do. Did you ever work with them? Oh, Tarzan, you must have, to the champ. Everything was trying to kill me on that movie all the time. - Where was that shot? - That was Sri Lanka. - Sri Lanka. - Sri Lanka, you must go where the elephants are. You see. - Oh, of course, Sri Lanka. - You can ship in the lions. You can ship in the orang and the Cheetahs, but you can't move elephants. - For those who are geographically stunted, Sri Lanka is off the coast of India. It used to be Salon. And then it became Sri Lanka. And it is mostly Hindu, right? It's, it's, it's, it's, yes. - It's a war-torn island. - Christian. - Yeah, there's different factions and, yeah, they. - Yes. - Yeah. - That's the world out there. We're in here. - I know. - We're drained. - You drank? - Not anymore. - Oh. - It doesn't make me more clever. It turns out. - Oh. - I know it does you. - Got it. - And I'm enjoying the, got eyes. - Oh, you still, you smoke? - No. - Oh. - But I used to smoke pot as a kid. - And just to, one of the cool things about 10 was the pot smoker. - Yeah. - You know, I mean, it was 1980, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, and in 1980, that wasn't like, I mean, you saw it, Cheech and Chong did it, but it was like, it just was, I watched it again fairly recently. And I gotta say it holds up. - I think it does, too. - It absolutely does. Now, there are some things like it, there's literally nothing you can look at from even 20 years ago. There isn't enough something that you go, oh, we wouldn't do that today. You know? - Yeah. - So, but that. - Oh, sure, sure. Okay, I understand. - I mean, like he says, he's the, you know, Dudley Moore's writing partner is gay. - Yes. - Which, that self wasn't done a hell of a lot. - It wasn't. - But generally, it does hold up. I mean, it does have a, a sexist slant, because he's, it's a man who's having a midlife crisis and is lusting after water. - But that's what the story's about. - Of course. - Yeah. - So. - Water rolls downhill. He cannot help himself. - God help it. - I mean, that's what's so funny. And when I, when I saw it, I hadn't seen it since it came out, I don't think, and when I saw it a couple years ago, it was like, I forgot that it was such a comedy, that they play, I mean, there's just so, a lot of broad comedy, the B of the face, and rolling down the hill. - Yeah. - And the hot sound on his feet, which is so gory. - Yes. - Sorry. - And you don't even speak until, like, the third reel. - No, partly in the movie. - But then, well, but you are. But when, well, another thing I forgot, I don't know, those ear hurt. You are actually quite good when you do open your mouth. It's a, it's a great performance. - Thank you. - Yeah, it was written. And I'm working with Blake Edwards. - Right, oh, of course. - I, if he says you did a good job, you did a good job. - Right. - You can just go home and feel good about it. - No, I remember, there was a movie star and say, who was buddies with it at the time, who worked with him in the '80s. And, you know, just say, this movie star was a guy's guy. And he was, Blake said, was kind of a guy's guy. I mean, I, when I saw, knowing that, from all those years ago, when I re-saw 10, that was kind of figured in my mind that, oh, Blake is kind of a, you know, this guy said he was a dog. You know, that, I don't know. - Twisting. - I don't know if he was. - I don't know either. - Yeah. But very often, those kind of guys married to the saintly, Julie Andrews, you know. But are they-- - He was a dean, she's amazing. - What is she like? - She's not saintly, she's fantastic. - Really? - She's fine. - Well, you can be both. she's truly the good quality. of a saint, right? She couldn't be nicer, right? - Couldn't be nicer, but she can talk like a sailor or the best of us. - Oh, that's awesome. - It's good to know, isn't it? - Well, remember, then he put her in SOB. - Yeah. - And she showed her tits. - Yeah. - Do you remember what a big thing that was? - It was. - Like Julie Andrews is showing her tits. - Yep. - But no, it's a really, it does hold up and it's in its broadly comic way. It really does get at that very universal thing that happens and I can only speak for the men, but the midlife crisis or is this the last time I'm going to be sort of like fuckable, attractive to a, I mean, I have other things in life, but you don't want to let go of that part of you. - Yes. - You know, I mean, and-- - I'm sympathetic to your point. - I mean, you still got it. And I know you, it's funny because you said you were so much younger, right? Then your first letter. But now you're younger, you're the younger, I mean, your husband is now younger than you. - Yes. - So you kind of like the poster person for the age doesn't matter. It can go either way. It's just diverse. - Love is love. And it's individual, you can't. I ended up meeting a lot of young women who were with older men. I don't think I had anything in common with any of them. - Really? - But they thought we did, just because of that one aspect of my life. But, you know, I was 17. And do you think you know everything when you're 17? - You were 17 when you met John Derrick. - Uh-huh. - And he was-- - 40s, right? - Yeah, he was 46. - Yeah, I mean, look, I'm talking at the last-- - It's a great age for a man. - No, and-- - And I mean, this has been my whole life. - Yeah, and he was going off to Europe and-- - And I used to feel sheepish about it because people try to shame you about it. And at some point I went, you know what? If everybody else gets to say, I was born this way. And this is my truth. And, you know what I mean? All this, you know, if I were to come out as gay, they'd do it, but that's your truth though. That's what you like, you were born that way. - Well, I was born-- - So you're gay? - That, you know-- - Attracted to younger women. - Not just-- it's not just physical. There's a certain Shwada Veeve that replaces the Shwada mind that got up and went. And, you know, you need Shwada and Veeve. - You know, I've always said that I have some friends that are like you and that didn't get married. And they have girlfriends. They treat them well. They don't get married. So they're my heroes. - Because we're not liars. - Yes, but men want both and men lie. - Exactly. - And it's the, it's being made of full of it's that is seat. That's the problem. - I feel very good about the choice I made. I feel I made a rare choice. It wasn't hard. What is hard? It's hard to stay unmarried when you're successful. And charming it's hard, as we all know, even though half the town is always beefing with me. I just ignore the hate mail, bo. Fuck it. - I can't believe you get all this. - Oh, crazy. - Oh, the woke hate me. I get all. - The woke hate. - They just hate. - They just hate. It's an animating feature of their life. Is to feel superior to people who are morally inferior 'cause they don't agree with them 100% on everything. So that means you are, of course, morally inferior. And I just won't buy it. I don't go along, and that's okay. The people who love me love my dirty drawers. They really do. They do anything for me. They literally say to me, thank you for your service all the time when I'm out. So the people who hate me, it's just like it just balances out. - Yeah. - And if I thought that the people who hate me ever made an honest argument, they're the people who won't talk to me. The conservatives who I don't vote with or agree on many things, they're always happy to talk. It's the woke people who are like, because they're not really that bright or learned about what the things they're arguing about. So they don't want to argue with me. 'Cause they don't have, they just, I always say to them, just engage on the argument I'm making. Tell me that the argument I'm making is wrong. No, it's always your old or your sexist. Well, these are labels. What about the argument? You know, I went to see Barbie when I was out and I tweeted it about, I didn't tweet it in a long time, when I got home. And just to say that it's based on a false premise that we still have this oppressive patriarchy in 2023. We don't, there are problems that remain, but it's not a patriarchy. And I proved it because I looked up the board, 'cause there's a real Mattel company. And I looked up their board, it's six, I don't think it was six and six, six men, six women. In the movie, she barges into the Mattel boardroom and it's all men. And it's the present day. So you're literally lying and saying, 'cause we have the facts, Mattel is not all men. Why did Mattel let them do that as a company? It made a billion dollars. You don't think this was a lot? - Did it help, did it help doll sales? I guess it did, but I don't know. - I don't know. I never saw the follow, but I can't imagine that it wouldn't do, right? Barbie was like, anyone talked about in the summer of 2023. Anyway, when I tweeted this out, like, did anyone engage with that actual argument? No, just, you know, oh Bill, you're flexing, you're this, you're that, you're old, you don't get it. You hate where it's like, just talk about what the argument, just in getting, they will not, because there is no argument. - No. - Do I have you dead to right? There is a real Mattel boardroom. Doesn't mean I'm saying there's no problem between the sexes. - Sure. - But, you know, they're also very uniform in their thinking, you know. They love this privilege concept and there is privilege for white people. Of course, in this country, I mean, the legacy of this country is so horrible that all white people are benefiting from stuff that happened years before. Doesn't mean we did it today. But, you know, today is very different that there's many kinds of privilege, pretty privilege. That's a thing. - I know nothing about that. Well, I know a lot about it. - Yeah. - I mean, pretty gets you, first of all, you never have to buy a drink or a dinner. - No, it is. It's been, it's an embarrassment of riches. - What? - My life, my life. And because I had, you know, 200 years ago, my physique wouldn't have been in fashion. And my looks wouldn't have been in fashion. I'm born in the right time. - You don't think the way you look would have been in fashion toward you? - No, I think I'm skinny. I would have been considered skinny and scrawny and. - And not Ruben Esk, and not? - No, there is fashion in beauty. - There definitely is. There is definitely a Ruben Esk thing. I don't think that was 200 years ago. I think there was a little before that. - Okay. - And anytime, I think it was, it was past the Middle Ages, but early into the modern era, maybe the 1600s is Peter Paul Ruben. But anytime society is living in poverty, extreme poverty, being. - Heavy. (laughing) - Thank you. - Gigantic. - Gigantic. - Yes. - Yes, being a real pie wagon was just the most fashionable thing though. Look at North Korea. Like there's one fat guy in the country. It's Kim Jong-un, and everybody else is starving. But the king has to be, you know, he, that's, he doesn't try to like stop that. He, that's the way to signal to the people. I'm regal, I'm royal. I'm different than you. You're kids? - Nope. - No kids. Why could you? You and me, no kids. - No, you didn't want them. - No, I thought I did just because you do. You just saw everyone says you're going to have kids. And then when, I think I hit about 32, I thought, oh, I better start working on this. And scheduling it. - You don't married to John? - Yeah, I kept waiting for my life to slow down. It never slowed down. - And he didn't say, I want to put a baby in you. No, he didn't want it. - He'd had two kids from previous marriage. - I was old, so he'd done it. - Yeah, he'd done it? - So that's perfect. And so when I thought I wanted it, then I really started sitting down to scheduling. And I thought, I'm not mother material. My husband certainly is a father material. I mean, he was the most judgmental oddball and Derek. - Your husband? Was it judgmental oddball? - Well, he kind of lived in a fantasy world and he was very tough on his children from his first marriage. And that didn't work out well because he was tough. - Well, and then you look around it. - At least back then, I don't think so much now, maybe, but back in the '80s, kids of famous people were really struggling. - Nepo babies, we call them now. - No, but then I think they were left home more. - No, Nepo baby, you've heard that term. - I have. - Yeah, okay, that's anybody who's, and that doesn't mean that they can't be talented themselves, but it is a big advantage. - But I think they grew up with a chip on their shoulder, a lot of them, because they were left at home then. - You know what? - They weren't brought on the set. They didn't have the nannies where they were in their parents' lives so much. - You're right, things changed. - Yeah. - It was harder than now, it's great. All these kids are very happy. All the ones who were like 20 years old now, Johnny Depp's kid, and I mean, everybody, who's ever been anybody, from 20 years ago, their kid is now, like, and the kids are very happy with this. They don't want real jobs. - I know. - And it's okay, but just, just, you know, I've heard at times this argument, you know, oh, it's harder for, it's not harder for you. - It's not harder. - It's easier for you, especially now. They love Nepo babies or everywhere. - They really are. - They are. - And it's okay. - And, you know, I was, I couldn't wait to drive. I couldn't wait to get my first job to have my own money that I could-- - Me too. - Where? - Yeah. - I was saying you did smoke pot. - I did. - Oh, good to you. - I did when I was in high school. - When you were filming that? - I don't know if I really liked it. As much as I liked the fact that I was hip and I was smoking. - When you filmed that in '10? - Yeah. - Were you really smoking pot? - No. - No, there were less. - They brought some, I don't know. - Or something. - Oh, okay. You made it look real. It certainly was a great fantasy for me. Well, you said your husband, fantasy, you know, he lived in this and then he married the fantasy girl. He married the girl who like, it's so funny the way America like it's fixated on like one girl for like 10 years. - Right. - You were at like, it happened with Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson. It's like for like a whole decade, there's like one pretty girl in the whole country. You were that girl. You know what I'm saying? - It turned out. - Like, nobody else, and it's like, come on, isn't somebody else a little? - No. - No. - It's Carmen Electra again. That's it. And it was like, that must have been, I mean, obviously gratifying in one way, kind of a burden in another. - It was none of those things. It was just a whirlwind because I wasn't, I had no aspirations to be in films. I had, when I did 10, it was just a fluke that I got the part. And I had no agent, no manager, no, nothing, no fantasies about being in the movies. So it came at me so fast and turned my life around. So I always felt I was kind of catching up, never stopped to think, I was just always uncomfortable with my image, being all over magazines when I walked down the street. And I always felt kind of fake in an imposter at the same time 'cause I didn't work as an actress. I didn't or drive a limo or whatever, everybody else did to be in movies. - It is so funny that so many people, they wanted, they yearn for it so badly and it almost works against them. And there's something that reads, I think, about someone who actually doesn't care if I get this part. It's just like in a relationship. If you have that, I could go out with you. So I'm gonna kill me if I don't, as opposed to the thirsty guy who's never attractive to a woman. I mean, a woman is always gonna think, well, if he's too good for me, he must be awesome. And it's kind of the same in the business. It's like, well, if she really doesn't care, I mean, it's genuine, they just feel it. It's like, well, she's too good for us. We want her. - Well, that, it was that way when I went on my interview with Blake, you know, I just came in. It was just a fluke, a girlfriend said. He's looking for this girl and he wants to meet you because my husband had had a reputation for having beautiful women in his life. - Well, Ursula Andrews. - Yeah, Linda Evans. That was his third wife. - Linda, who was that again? - Dynasty. - Oh, of course, the bluff. - Big Valley. - Wait, he got with her too? - How was his third wife? - Oh, fuck. Third wife before you? - Uh-huh. - You were the fourth one. - I was the fourth. - I bought this house from someone who, whose wife was part of a fifth wife's club. There was a fifth wife's club out here in Posh. We wouldn't say exactly what part of Los Angeles is in, but a nice, let's just say, a nice one that didn't burn down last year. - Okay. - Okay, in that neighborhood, yeah. - And they were all like, well, I'd just say, they're all Beverly Hills housewives. And, you know, the fact that there was, there's something about this business. The fact that there was enough of them to have a club. - I know. - And they were all-- - And they liked to get together? - Yes, it was a club. And they were all happy. Like, it took this fucker four marriages to figure it out. And now they were obviously older in life. - Don't wait. These are women who were individually fought. The number five, or was this from the same man? - No, not the same man. - Oh, okay, that's what I thought. - The different sort of Hollywood types and moguls and who married five times is the kind of guy who just, they just get married, they just-- - They do, and there's another thing that I think happens to is a guy can come on real strong, sweep a young woman off her feet. - Right. - Promise her the moon. Then because of his privilege in life, he might, water might run downhill. And he starts looking somewhere else. And I think that, you know, certain men who have a certain affluence have more opportunity - Of course. - To do this. - Of course. - You're not gonna have a guy who really was hard for a living with five wives. - No, no, exactly. Well, that's telling you, Beverly Hills Club. - Yeah. - And they were all happy. It's, that's what she told me. Like, it was, the guy had finally settled at it. - It just-- - Oh, they were the last one. - The fifth. - Yes. - So-- - That happens, too. Physically. Happened with my father. - What do you mean? - My father was kind of, was quite a rake. And he finally, we all thought, 'cause I'm one of four kids. We thought he'd found the love of his life finally. And later on in life, he said, "No, you don't understand." I just, the drive was gone. - That's the thing. - Yeah. - I mean, look, Anthony Quinn had a baby out of wedlock at 80. - I know, I know. - So, you know. - I know I was doing a film with him. - I always thought, I always thought, I know I was there for the whole drama with the wife. - The poor wife must be like, 80? How old is this motherfucker? I have to get before I have to stop worrying about him going out on me. - So dramatic, yeah. - But, yes, the drive, I mean, but that's always been my issue. Like, I just, when I, anytime, - I'm trying not to be crude about this. Anytime I have sex, I just feel like it has to be like, I just got out of prison. Or else, I don't wanna do it. You know what I mean? - Kind of, yeah. - I mean, I don't know if I'm-- - It's not, it's not the kind of thing. Either you should do it. Either you should be very passionate or just don't do it. Like, if you used to do it-- - Yes. - Sometimes a week, you know, that's not gonna happen. But, make the times that you do do it as good as when it used to it. Like, that, you know, that Toby Keith's song, I ain't as good as I once was. - Right. - But I'm as good once as I ever was. - Yes, sweet Toby. - Oh, you know him? - Yeah. - Why, oh, mm-hmm. - He had racehorses. - Oh. (both laughing) - Well, racehorses, good ones. I only discovered his music recently. I think when he died, I was like, oh, you know, I used to make fun of this guy back in 2003 with the Iraq war and he had that song about-- - That's corny songs. - Put a boot in your ass and we made fun. And I was like, but I never really gave him a chance. And then I listened to, I got his greatest hits. I was like, wow, this guy was talented and he has some amazingly great songs. - Yeah. - And I don't even, I kind of like the boot in the ass one now. (both laughing) - Now you do. Well, I wasn't for the Iraq war. - Yeah. - So that was, you know, I didn't think of the right war to fight. I like it more for the one we're in now, but we don't want to get into that. And by the way, in my life, I'll just share this with you. There is nothing. And I mean that very literally nothing more compelling that I've ever experienced than a beautiful woman who's also great to talk to. You know, that's like, that's like everything. It was both ways, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's my favorite thing. I'm just lucky to be around some really intelligent people that I call friends, and I love nothing more than sitting and talking. My best friend is a politician. - A politician? - Mm-hmm, and she's fascinating, just fascinating. And she brings me along, yeah, Ivan Baki, she brings me along. - Who is her position? - Ambassador to the US from Ecuador, she's Lebanese. - Oh, she's from Ecuador. - Yeah, very, very complicated. - How did you become friends with her? - In Washington. I was there to work on the horse slaughter bill, to stop horse slaughter in the country. And yes, I do want to stop the slaughter. - Yeah, me too. - And that's been a 25-year shit show of that. - Well, I mean, it's ridiculous. - You mean Peter then are on the same page there, so let's just be friends on that one. - Oh, no, we are friends. - Yeah, of course we are. Well, I'm gonna talk to anybody. - I just, I'll tell you what I like. I like very pragmatic solutions. - Me too. - There's a great program that my girlfriend let me be part of in the Galapagos Islands. Do you know blue bonds? - Blue bonds. - Blue bonds. So there's a way. - Bons, B-O-N. - B-O-N-D-S, financial bonds. - Blue bonds, yes. - Blue bonds. - Sure. - Ecuador, to expand their marine preserve by 23 square miles. No, 23. 23,000 square miles. I can't remember. Anyway, it was a huge expansion, over 50% of their marine preserve. There was, critics was set up a blue bond for investment, and it was a debt swap. So they got a billion and a half off their debt that they owed for making this marine expansion. So I like the idea of monetizing. It's too easy for us in America. We've destroyed our coral reefs and our oceans. And now we're gonna say now you at the Galapagos because it's an international treasure. You can't fish in it, you can't do this. We want you to not do anything to hurt your treasure. And it also helped start this incredible superhighway for whales and sea lions. - Until people wear the Galapagos is so sacred to nature lovers 'cause it's where Darwin. - I know. - That's the whole thing with the Galapalos and the Ecuador, which is on the west coast of South America, north of Chile. For again, the geographically challenged. I know some of them are out there. And this is where Darwin went to study what became the theory of evolution. So it is a sacred place to people who actually like science. - It also belongs to Ecuador. And we expect them not to put hotels and resorts. - Right, I see what you're saying. - So we got to give them something. - Yeah, I think you could do both. I think that's one where you could do both. - But we have to. And that's what we did with blue bonds. They got a billion and a half off their debt. - Right, I said, "Oh, good." - Yeah, it's a great program. And now it's going all over. - Because a hotel, you know, do it right and just don't kill the turtles when you build it, you know? But there's no reason why you would kill the turtles. You could build a hotel without killing the turtles. I feel like that is the essence of pragmatism in politics, right? - But this might be the one place left where they won't ever have a hotel. - And that would be fine with me too. - Yeah. And we might want to keep one. - But we have to give them something. - We're building 20 miles away. - Yeah, they have. - So you have to take a fucking shuttle bus there. - Yeah, there are 600 miles offshore. - I went to enter the Hurst Castle. I thought you could drive up right up to it. No, you get no fucking bus. And it's like another 45 minutes. You ever go to the Hurst Castle? - I swear I'm in the pool. - Oh, for fuck's sake. - I know. - Oh, you're one of those people. - It's good to be me. I swear to God, every in my life still haven't made a major motion picture in 100 years. Still doors open for me. - You made the right choice there, by the way. You are not missing anything. - What do you mean? - Not making movies. - No, I don't. - You're not missing anything. - I don't miss it. - You really are. It's, I was an actor in the '80s when I was a fricomic, but you know. - Yeah, I saw your boss in the movie. - Comics become actors. When we think that's it, it was never supposed to be my path, but you know, you're young and it's fun and, you know, you do some silly movies. But it sucks. I mean, it's just too many hours. - I know. - It's just, it's just, when you're doing a movie, all you do is the movie. It just totally takes over your life, right? - Yes, and you sit around all day. - You sit around. - And it's such a, yeah. - It's such a mystery when it's going to work. - A complete mystery. - Yes. - I don't care how much talent you have put in a bottle line. - Absolutely. - It is an absolute-- - There's so many things. - All of the dice. - Totally. There's so many things that can fuck up a movie. Editing, you know, or you can get on the set and the actors don't like each other. Or one wants to do-- - That happens so. - One wants to do 50 takes, and one wants to do one. - I know. - What do you do then? - Yeah. - You know, what do you do when the chimp wants another take in Tarzan? - Oh my god. - Yes, no, it's very complicated. And you know, my husband, John Corbett, is a, I think, a great actor and a comedic actor. - I love him. - And-- - I love him and everything he does-- - Everything he does. - He's, I've never seen him like us that the, oh, you know what, he was, I think, the lead in the movie with the cop movie with Canna Reeves. - He was in that, yeah. - So great. - Strieking. - Oh my god, is that a great movie. - He loved that. - He's, he's terrific in that. No, I mean, it's seen him in a million things. He seems like another one of those guys who you, you just like, because again, it doesn't look like it's not important. Like, he's-- - Oh, there you go. - There's not just, there's not this like, super-intensity that's like, okay, just, you know this, I'm just here for entertainment. I'm just at the end of the day. And I want to watch something entertaining that grabs me and like, let's just, let's not pretend that this is curing cancer, you know? - Yeah, I know. - That's a big disease out here, how? - There's something great and that I respect so much, having been in the business of a really good working actor. Having been only a movie star for kind of no reason. (laughing) And the pressures are so different. As again, having a life, showing up, doing great work, making everybody happy, going home, and not it being all-consuming to you. And that's what he is. - That's awesome. You probably wouldn't get along if he wasn't. I don't-- - No, and I think he could normally never be with someone who's an actress because of the competition, the wire you still on the set, you're gonna be gone for eight weeks. - That's why. - I get it all. - When I was young and like, you know, dating as much as I could when I first moved out here late 20s, 30s, early on stopped going out with actresses for that very reason. Like, you'd have a date and they'd cancel it because they got an audition the next day. And it was like, they weren't lying. They weren't trying to get out of it. It's like that they were blowing me off. They just really had an audition and that was what's important to them. - Yeah. - And I was great, but then I was like, no. And they're crazy. You know, I mean, they're high strung. I mean, there's a reason why actors like to stay in a state of emotional turmoil, which is not great for your real life as a you, as a human being, but it's great when you're on the set because you have all this stirring around in your gut, right? - Yeah, you gotta be firing emotionally on anything. - So even though the scene is about how, you know, you had sex with the monkey, you know, when you were a child, you know, it doesn't sound, not something you really did, but you can channel into 'cause that's what acting class teams do. No, it's like, and you use that. And, you know, I mean, I remember, I still acting when my, yeah, when my, yes, my father died. And I remember it's kind of selfish, but, you know, how can you help the thoughts that go into your mind? I remember thinking, like, right after he died, oh, this would be a good time to have an audition for a really serious part because I could cry. Like, so I mean, I've, it's all I can do to stop crying. - Yeah. - You know, the few weeks after he died and then my mother the same thing. - Did you? - Well, it's funny, like, I remember, for both of them, it was like, and I think it speaks to the fact that I was fortunate and had great parents and not anything too unresolved, that I was, you know, I very chucked up at the funeral. You know, I was supposed to speak, I did speak, but it was very hard to talk with the, You know, the lump in your throat. So. good. That's how it should be. And then there was like a month after that when I was home and I'd just be doing whatever I have to do, I had to go back to work and I'm reading and writing and whatever it is. And like suddenly I would just like, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" And I remember thinking, "I'm so glad I live alone." Because that'd be so embarrassed. If someone was here and they just saw me suddenly start, and I'd do that for like a few minutes and come back to work. And that lasted for about a month. And then I was done. But then I don't, you know, love them. But like, that's the course of nature. Yeah. They were never supposed to be there forever. What's tragic is when someone pre-deceases the parent. That's tragic. And that'll break you. You know, when someone dies too young. Well, I went at your kid. Yeah. Oh, no, I can't. Because you're supposed to die before. I don't know how people go on sometimes. Right. Some of the circumstances. Not something we'll have to face. Another good reason for. That's my doggies. I'm still on what we're doing, man. And we're helping the planet. You know what? Another thing I thought of when I was thinking about having a kid, you'll get this, but other people don't. I thought, now I'm thinking about all these different, you know, making a little stuff in my mind about pros, cons, having a kid. I think I spend more time when I decide to have a dog, a new dog, than most people do when they have a kid. Me too. And I'm at that place now. Yeah. My dog, my voice had two. One died in August. Oh, no. Portico had gotten to that point where he's just. He couldn't breathe. So I had to bring in the needle. And because dogs just don't die. Because in nature, they'd be dead years before. Once they lose a step, you're dead in nature. But the other dogs will kill them too. Right. Anything will kill them. But that is life is partly grief. And we all know that. And that's what I started to say to you. When I sat down here, the fact that I'm 70. And I'm here with you today. And I feel fine. You know, we don't take that for granted our age. The way we did when we, when we were young. I never even thought about it. You know. And when I got sick, meaning colds flu, which I got way more when I was younger. Yeah, me too. Because we were stupid and we lived worse. We, I mean, I did. I drank. I didn't eat the right food. Didn't get sleep. Yeah. All that shit. But when I got sick, it never entered my mind. Oh, this could turn into something bad. Now, if I get a hang nail, I'm like, it's at the first sign of Parkinson's disease. And we go to the doctor every year for blood tests and our checkups. Well, you don't. Oh, are you kidding? I used to have one doctor name in my, you know, at the time, Rolodex probably. Now I have like a hundred. You know, like, well, I mean, that's part of us because doctors are big fans of mine. And like whenever one comes up to me and it's like, Oh, I'm the, I'm the best at this. Yeah, I'm like, you are my new best friend. You know what? You. I know. I don't, I don't say this to every mother for comes up to me. But you, my friend, are in my phone now. I know. And it's great. Who doesn't want a fan working on you? Yeah, you don't want to be a number or just a name on a file. I remember when Reagan got shot, which was the almost the same maybe the year after 10 came out and his big quip, which is great. He was funny, you know, and he said something about to Nancy, like, make sure the doctors are Republican. You know, it was so good. It's so good. And honey, I didn't duck or something, too. Yes. Honey, I forgot to duck. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, then that's the first time I knew that it was him and not his writers and being prepped. I just wasn't sure until then. Well, Gorvidal once said the biggest myth about Ronald Reagan was that he wasn't a good actor because they made fun of him. He was not a successful actor. He had a little run. But, you know, he also made the right choice. I thought he got out when the getting out was good. You know, there are a precious few even less with women who can endure into their fifties and sixties. And then you have to just be iconic to be working in your seventies and eighties. We're talking about Robert De Niro, Harrison Ford, Kevin Costner. Yes. If you are so big, you're iconic, Mel Gibson, you can work, but you're playing bad grandpa. And there are only a handful of them anyway. I'm saying. Not a lot. Right. Michael Douglas and and with Ronald Reagan, he was in the studio system. You didn't choose your parts. We take our good fortune really for granted. I mean, say we, I mean, as a society, as people, especially as kids today who I don't think are well-educated, I don't think they realize how recently in history, how much harder life was. You know, it was really tooth and claw, especially for a woman. I mean, there was no women's rights at all. And even in the past. No, my mom had a tough time. What was her situation? Well, born in the depression. In the depression. And where? In Southern Illinois. And a single mother. Oh. And so life was tough. A single mother. But she worked really hard, my mom. And her mom worked her whole life. My grandmother was a single mother. That's it was there in the 20s. And she told me how rare it was. She told me when she, she drove, she had to. She had to, she, my mother was really raised by the grandparents in New York. Because my grandmother had to be on Long Island. That's where her job was. And she said she, when she was driving a car in the 20s, men would yell at her from other cars. For what? Like you shouldn't be driving. Oh, no. Yeah, exactly. I didn't know they couldn't drive. Like, well, the driving was fairly new. Yeah. And the idea, well, women only got the vote. I know. That's right. So they couldn't get a credit card till, what, 60 70s? Really? On their own without a man signing their credit card. I never heard that. Yeah. Wait, come on. I think it's 60s. I really do. Women couldn't get a credit card in their own? I believe. I believe. What about that girl? I bet you she could. What about Mary Tommas? She must have had Ed Asner signing her credit card. That's Mary. That's Mary Tommas. Marlott Thomas is Danny Thomas. And you're right. I bet you Marlott Thomas couldn't get a credit card when she was 18. She needed Danny Thomas. Probably. Well, just to the point that, you know, modernity is really modern. It's really new. It really is. I mean, just a hot shower was a rarity 100 years ago. So yeah, you read that stuff all the time. You know. But I at the same time, I don't have a lot of faith in people. But we are getting better. I'm saying society for all of us. You know, you know, who did that? The pragmatists. The people, the centrist, the plotters, the people, the policy wonks. Hillary Clinton is one of these type of people. The people who just they're really not that far on either extreme. They just want to make a situation better. They're wonky about it, which you have to be. They're not the show ponies on either extreme. They're not on Twitter. They don't care about that. There was a congressman. It was always the best congressman. He was out here. Waxman. He did so much to advanced like practical social agenda issues. We once asked him on the show. He was like, no, I'm busy. I was like, I fucking love this guy. I fucking everybody else is like run thirsty to the microphone. Oh, really? You're going to point a camera at me. I'm there. And this guy was like, you know, you can see them perform bad actors. I'm a congressman. I have a job. I'm going to do that. Thank you for the offer. But you know, in your argument, you're leaving out capitalism. I love it. I love that. That's brought us out of poverty more than anything else. More than anything else. I'm always trying to lecture the children on this. And I understand why they're frustrated with the economy. It does. It is a sucky kind of economy, especially in an expensive city like this. How the fuck could you live when I moved here in 1983 from New York, where my rent was 350? I think it went up to $375. Now, of course, this is 1983. You were in Tarzan. I was on Westmount, but in West Hollywood, okay, you were doing better than me. All right. We don't have to dwell on that. But you know, you could walk the streets of West Hollywood and just look at the. Every other house had a sign rent for rent, you know? So there wasn't this. Everybody's just trying. Now, to get an apartment, you have to like bribe the person because there's so many people waiting to take that apartment. And it's like like a shoe box for like 800 a month would be the least you could know inflation is I don't know how these people live no one is they're all on only fans I want to know how how so quickly Bill Clinton balanced the budget right zero I remember the big so we can start all over again and get it inflation and then come back to zero I mean at some point it's gonna this balloon has got a pop it's thirty nine trillion you know that our GDP for the first time now I think since World War 2 or maybe ever but our debt is higher than the GDP we all more than we make as a country I mean I don't know enough about it economics to to understand how that's all gonna work out for us it's not gonna work out but you know Trump's view because he's you know a shy story of business man is that when you have a debt that big that's the debtors problem I mean the person who holds the debt because the lender yeah the lender yeah because what are you gonna do where your partner now oh you want to put us in jail well then you're really not gonna get your money yeah so we're gonna pay back fifty cents on the dollar that's exactly said that out loud yeah he really does yeah he's like that's how you do it yeah and you know he's not wrong it's it's not morally correct but he's not wrong like if you have the choice between getting nothing and getting fifty cents on the dollar I mean when when we had the crash in 2008 I had a lot of my money in Lehman Brothers they were the first ones to go and there was like oh well now there's a line of people who were in Lehman Brothers and you know depending on how much you had in or who you blew or whatever it was we'll see how much money you get back on the dollar it was not one hundred cents on the dollar no it was whatever we're gonna fucking give you on the dollar and you just took it well that's the debt swap in Ecuador oh really oh really yeah you buy bad debt you buy bad I mean this country is just so stupid and this state is so ridiculous this state why are we here because the son is so beautiful is it the son you know where I live out in the country it's just stunning it's stunning here it's stunning everywhere it's just stunning it's like you lucky now from nature yeah you know just a freak of nature this place there's no other place you can name that's one hour away from the ocean the mountains the desert you can be in Palm Springs you can be big bear you can be swimming in the Pacific you'll get a disease because it's polluted but you couldn't do it I mean it's just an amazing place and the the problem is that the son here is like what oil is to oil producing country it's especially third world ones like Ecuador it's it seduces you you don't have to do anything else for the people when you have oil what the cartels have done to these countries to their economies to their corruption to their quality of life to the kids young men having to be in gangs it happens so fast now there is a machine that comes into a country and within a few years it's already changing well it's very sad and it's I'm sorry it's all because we want to get high here basically and uh and your point is and my point is when the buying stops maybe this black marker corruption violence will stop I I want well yes I want drugs to be decriminalized I do I wanted to be criminalized today don't we learn anything in the prohibition on this show I want that to happen the prohibition created the mafia of course we learn nothing I know but because there's money in it honey that's why did I mean there's so much money in keeping it illegal and do you think the why is it a congressman from Sacramento wanting to keep drugs illegal because he's lobbied by the people who want to keep it illegal because he takes money from the liquor industry do you think the liquor industry wants the competition from this if only people would understand you can use them together and it's fantastic you don't have to be fighting but no I mean anything I mean why did everybody now this isn't making sense to me why did everybody have to get a covid shot even people with natural immunity natural immunity which we always use to respect but in covid no just get our product in you and I'm not an anti-vaxxer I'm just somebody wants to decide which ones I want yeah if they had never I remember the build up to that it's coming it's coming it's coming and I think if they had just left it here it is there's vaccine it's available to anybody who wants it I think probably more people would have taken it but when you tell Americans you must that's a problem but but even more that bugs me is the natural immunity thing I mean for the people who are like we're the science people well there was nothing that was more settled science the natural immunity is the best so if somebody has natural immunity if they got this I know a lot of people who got it like they were like oh you know what I get sick in like November of 2019 I bet that was covid yeah I bet it was I bet it was and you could test it okay doesn't matter get our shit in you that's when I go okay now the fix is in now you're you're telegraphing that you just want to get your product in me as much as you can and you know what there are things that are could come along there's this hunt of Irish now where I want your product in me but I want to decide I want to decide when I want your product in me I say that about sex toys also I want to decide yes yes for sure I've never used a sex story I mean I feel like if you have to use something no judgment here I told you before about we got a judge I don't I don't know I'm saying I we can judge we can't be judgey I mean you've been married twice both seem to I mean you were married to John to the end right yeah it wasn't a divorce that was no it was still he died suddenly of what aortic dissection what's that that's where you're aorta it it ruptures and runs like a like what's this name the other at the actor the great that's what Alan Victor I know did he yes he was a very good friend of mine and he was 69 years old and he was playing hockey with his kid his 18-year-old is from the third third-wives club and I know yeah that I think they're married and she and he just suddenly and the heart just rip ripped apart yeah and he you know in a way if you have to go that's not the worst way because you you're right to the moment you die you're living your best life he was do hockey was Canadian doing the thing he loved with his 18-year-old kid who we loved and then suddenly it's it's and there was like I remember the kid telling me they took him into the room and they look and it was like this there's nothing left I mean this yeah we could not put this back together and this was set in motion from the day he was born that like a genetic defect or something yeah yeah was in there from the beginning and it was just gonna take the number of years it was gonna take and then it was gonna it's gonna happen yeah and ironically he used to whenever we'd see a movie or a TV show and the guy would grab his chest and say I think I'm having a heart attack and drop dead he always said lucky son of a bitch so it was weird that that's the way he went as a lucky son of a bitch I it gave me some peace that he went that way he wasn't gonna get old he didn't like it the idea of getting old no one likes it no but when it comes around fast I mean fast and also I've heard people say yeah I don't want to be 75 yeah where do you 74 kidding I mean if it's one thing about humans we want more we want more life especially if our lives are good yeah our lives are good we're lucky we're very lucky I'm still writing horses I don't know how long I will be writing horses right that's that's my basketball but yeah I still play basketball every day but I don't know how long I don't know how long it's gonna be but right now it's still great and I'm in a hurry to get all I can out of it right now you're in a hurry and men are hurry to write as much as I can travel travel you know you sit in an airport and you see um I can't travel but you feel like fly private right even that I can't do why I'm just it just I just can't what even you can't it's just too much I did it for I was on the road for my whole life to stand up comic every other weekend I was out you know drag on myself out of bed after a full week working on my show and I loved it and I went into a Cincinnati or Kansas City or wherever and it was but I just just, you know, you just know when it's over. And I just, I like waking up every day here in California with all its flaws because, as I was saying, the sun's like the oil, it seduces you into accepting almost anything. And it does. I mean, I lived in New York. I grew up on the East Coast. The idea that there are almost no bad weather days here. I mean, there's rain, which we need. And I actually like, but it's pretty much confined to one season. It's, no matter how hot it gets in the day, it's usually cool at night, which is awesome. There's opposed to the muggy East Coast. - Yeah. - And sun is just part of what we need to survive. It gets demonized, the sun, like cholesterol. You know, they love to demonize these things. It's like, no, you need cholesterol. You need sun. You need some sun to convert vitamin D and it feels good. So don't overdo it, but, you know, I remember living in these great days. - I was born here. I'm California, Southern California. - Oh, you are? You're born in New York. - A surfer or a sailor? - You're a surfer or a sailor? - I was, I don't do it anymore. - A sailor? - My father worked for a sailboat company. - Oh, and a surfer? - No, I was a lucky kid. A very lucky kid. - Well, I'm a lucky guy that just have gotten to talk to you. I couldn't tell you how thrilled I was when I heard that. I said, really, she's gonna do this show? 'Cause I never see you do anything. - No, I'm never promoting it anymore. - And you don't need to. - No, I'm loving my life. - I know. - I need to go back to this. - That's the coolest thing in the world you can be. - It's very strange. People don't understand it because it's something that so many people anyway, you know, that expression they would kill to do it, to be famous, to be in movies. And not for some of us. - I know one person in the world who has no hopes and dreams, no ambitions, and is the happiest person I know. - Yeah. - Because everybody else is sort of tied to this. - Well, if I just make my hopes and dreams come true and very often they don't, or they're not as you dream them, it's very rare that your hope and dream comes. And if you just like, no, I'm just gonna skip that part and go right to being happy. - Yeah. - Skip the thing that's gonna do so until we make me happy. - I love retirement. - And go right me too. - I'm so happy in retirement. Who was it? It was on your show, I think, a Galloway. - Yes, got Galloway. - I think he was talking about the bullshit of-- - Of course. - Of, do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. No, do what you're good at. And then you'll make a good living and you can do what you want. - And you live in Santa Barbara now? - North of Santa Barbara, but I've been there since '81. - Well, someday you and I should meet in the middle with our significant others. I'll meet you halfway. - It's great. - Well, I'm dinner, I hope. - Yeah. - What's halfway? - Like-- - Ventura. - Yeah, Ventura. - Ventura, Santa Barbara. - We're all the great restaurants, aren't we? - Santa Barbara. How about Santa Barbara? - I went to Santa Barbara. - Do you ever go to Santa Barbara? - Of course. I went to Solving. - Oh yeah, that's fast. - Christmas week. - That's fast. - What? - It's funny. - It's so funny. - It's Christmas year round there, you know. - Christmas year, it's a Christmas town. - I know. - It's a Solving. - It's a-- - Santa Valley, it's the Danish capital of the United States. - Exactly. - That's why the windmills-- - Yes. - Many tivoli go-- - Oh, I am, sweetheart. I was just there. - I am eight miles from there. - Really? - Yes. - Okay. - Yes. - Well, we went there. It was the funnest day. 'Cause they take their Christmas very seriously there. - Yes, they do. - And so, like, this is a week before Christmas. - Oh, it's fun. - Of course. - Yeah, it's fun. - It's so cute. - Yes, it was so cute. You know what they do? You go to the visitor center and you have to search for gnomes. This is like one of the Danish-- - Is it a game? - Yes, that they're hidden all over town. And you get a thing with clues. And then you got to-- - I didn't do it. - Of course I did. Of course I did. It was awesome. And we were-- - Oh, you kidding. - You're very high. - Yeah, that's good to say. I'm not going to say-- I'm not going to say we found a lot of the gnomes. But I remember going-- I was very high. I go up to the visitor center desk and then the ladies there. It's just very Christmas. I was great. I said, we want to talk to Santa Claus. He said he's not here. He said, what? This is solving a week before Christmas. Are you fucking kidding me? I want to see him. I want to see him. There we go. Sir, he's like, we don't really get a lot of trouble here. Christmas. Are you going to be a problem? I was like, no. OK, give me the map. We'll search for the gnomes. And you get the clues and we'll search for the gnomes. - That's hilarious. I've never heard of that. - With you this year, if you want. - I'm going to-- - I'm going to jump into that. - We're all going to-- - We're all going to gnomes. - Challenge. - And gnomes. All right. Thank you. - I appreciate it. - Thank you. - Oh, it was fun. - Oh, good. - It was fun. - OK, I'm glad I got to know you. - Yeah. - That wasn't scary at all. - No. And it certainly went better than the pre-interview. Can you mention the pre-interview for that?