Blinder Side

The Rick fix the chair. Yeah, yeah, but I'm coming for it. I have a great part to that character today. Please don't say to bring down two bites and I went this big mistake. It's a really it's a good part to He buying some overnight oats. Yeah, I was telling will that if he's ever too lazy to make overnight oats that all you have to do is buy this and then you pour milk in there. Why are you staring at my feet? Stir with these wires. Oh, I was staring in my feet. Yeah, I'm in my new shoes that I'm obsessed with. I'm trying to figure out how much money I can make off them. Those about my feet. What those shoes ain't new? They're kind of them. Yeah, Liam always Liam always tracks a new piece. So you think he's not gonna detect your new piece. You can't walk into a room with a new piece without Liam sniffing it out. Right, Carla? True on the piece, please. No one noticed that I got a haircut, but So how come you didn't notice my new piece? That that's marine marine layer. I clocked it fraudulent. I crocked it. You crocked it? Crocked it. Why didn't you say anything? I whispered it when you walked by. What'd you say? I said no piece. What did I say? Nothing to hear me. Did I my posture straight note? I did. You got a big shipment from marine line. Do you like it? Eating clock my new piece. What? I knew that was a new piece. I was I was gonna wait for him to say it though. New windbreaker piece. See? I'm not the peace police though. Oh hell. I don't I don't pretend to be something I'm not Which is ironic because I'm an actor. Hopefully you're smiling. Take your spot up. And you're an actor. Are you allowed to talk about it? Probably not. No, you can't. What is this, by the way? That is Andrews. I send that into the girls bathroom here. And it can like pour itself like an octopus through cracks. And it's like a little spy gizmo. That was will. I also have like a milk carton with like a big camera on the side. I have big pans that are like microphones. I'm doing like a new 2026 is turning up all me. You go into Spot spy stuff to go into the you hire Emily to walk a huge cart of coffee into the woman's bathroom and Emily goes Room service and you're hiding underneath the card, but I have one of those like submarine things And I'm looking through the top and it's it's the chocolate fountain up top spinning and there's a giant camera on it And it's worked so far. That's not bad. What's the what's the lore behind this? Why is this here? Willie, do you got that for Andrew for Christmas? Pretty sweet. Take notes guys. Just kidding. I got a great Christmas gift from William. What'd you get her? Doesn't matter. Yeah, we can't talk about it. Also, I did not get Emily a Christmas gift. Yeah, no. I got her a Hanukkah gift. Hanukkah. He did say happy Hanukkah. But I didn't get it for you to be showy on the par. I know. So we have to stop talking about it. Well, I'm curious what it is. You don't know. No. I don't go around telling people. All right. Well, I'll talk about it because I thought it was a really nice gift. He got me a new sleep mask because of my TikTok that I made. Of course, exactly what I wanted. And fuck off. That conversation we had. You bought her one. What conversation? When Binder was texting us about how she can't sleep or something. No, about my sleep mask lore. I cannot find the most perfect sleep mask for my eye. And then William got me a really nice bougie one. But the thing is, I need her to be in tip-top shape for the pod. Are you downloading? Is it one of the smart ones that you can get her data? Yeah. You're downloading her dreams. Well, it detects when she falls asleep and it's the eyes slide open and it starts playing like a video. So it's a video, an AI video of you and I as like Egyptian gods and like all these like slaves praising us and whatnot. And it's kind of whispering affirmations of us to Emily. She doesn't know. So she wakes up. It turns it shuts off. That's why I have. Of course, I've been losing sleep, though, because I have to stay up and constantly generate these. So it's kind of an inverse of. So did you download our consciousness into this or is it just kind of like a? I downloaded your consciousness into it. Pretty cool. Not cool at all. Thought it was cool. Not cool at all. Did you see the hate inside of me? That's why I addressed it. But you know what sucks? The hate turned into the most pathetic rage I've ever seen and the pathetic rage turned into self hatred. Yeah. And then the self hatred turned into this. It was like the clown in it at the end. Like at the start, you're really scary. You're like this jacked big like Egyptian like gold said you and then you melt into like literally like muck like the Pokemon muck look up muck. You melt into the Pokemon muck. I'm familiar with muck. He's made out of mud. He's my favorite Pokemon. I never played Pokemon growing up. Never got into it. Never watched the show never played the games. Let me tell you this. I played Pokemon Emerald. That was kind of the Pokemon Emerald, Pokemon Stating on Gamecube. And then yeah, there you go. That's Liam. Kind of does look like him. Okay. Just kidding. Okay. And what was your new jacket it does? Okay. Okay. Okay. So Pokemon will flame you later. Me? Yeah. Why? If you say look like muck, I gotta show you some. No, your new jacket looks like muck. Get ready. Get set. You're cooked. Um, so Pokemon Stating. I'm Pokemon Emerald and then Pokemon White on the DS. Those are the only Pokemon games I played. They're very fun, but I just can't get into Pokemon now. The only Pokemon games you played. I've tried. It's just not from it. So I just don't think they're fun. I really don't. I'll find a letter. Um, mine. Did you ever play any games growing up? We had so many. Just games on our phone. Remember? Yes, true. Sonic. Sonic. I played Call of Duty with my brother. Um, I feel like he didn't. Super Mario Party. Stolen Valor her right now. Yeah, I feel like he didn't play God. I'll literally play with you and the kids show you that I can play. I'm not good at it, but I can play. I used to trash talk people. I told you which college you play. Black Ops and Modern War for three, I want to say. Okay. That's a good answer. It's a good. Those are in the same area. We've talked about this before. We've talked about the maps, Newktown and like, that is true. We have. Damn, dude. You just got. I can literally describe it to you right now. Yeah. Fucking come at me, bro. All right. I stand corrected. Continue. What else did I play? Super Mario Party. Mario. Mario. Mario. Super Mario. Disappranos. That was very New Jersey of me. I can't lie. I didn't mean it. Mario. Super Mario Party. Yeah, I don't really know. I guess that's how I say it. Mario. Mario. Mario. Something like you're even funny by yourself. It's like nothing to be shamed over to try to fix your solvus. Who you are. It's where you're from. It's gonna be proud of you. You should up and look for this guy and say Mario. You should be proud of your heritage in your jeans, Emily. How many inches of your hair did you cut off? It's like three inches off. And you sold the only person in this office that noticed was Josh. Josh noticed? Creep alert. Creep alert. No, I love Josh so much. Yeah, so do I. He's on the hot seat now. What did he say to you? He's like, did you get a haircut? I was like, yes, Josh. What's sass to you for noticing? He said, he said, fuck yes. Dapter up. Fuck yes. That's sexiest fuck. No. Fuck yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my god. Was that perplex? Oh, I was hoping this was going to happen. I was hoping you were going to do this. I did not like the last day. I did not. I thought it was two buts for you. That boy Josh. Smooth as hell. Smooth as hell. Unbeknownst to most people, Josh and I are very close. We hang out outside of this office. Well, that's not weird. His roommate, his roommate, didn't sound weird at all. Me and Liam hang out outside of the office. Yeah. Josh is a young boy, by the way. He's like, he's like, barely 18. Yeah, you're talking to Emily, the vulture binder. Um, Josh's roommate is co-workers with two girls in my friend group. They work at the NFL together so there's just a bunch of mutuals. Sure. Sure. Shout out Josh. I'll be keeping my eye on this situation closely. Yes. Because I have to say one more time, that boy Josh, move his hair. Sure. He glides. He don't walk. He glides. Sure. Nothing worse than like that being his response every single time he says something. Me. Yeah. Thank you. Why? Like, it sucks. Yeah. I agree. You don't like sure. Like, I like it when it's supposed to be there, but like, you're just doing it to do it. Why didn't have anything to add? Exactly. But you got to add. Yeah, you have to add. That's your job. We've been adding. I just figured you, well, you just said for the, I got to say it again. He's smooth as hell. I'll tell you again. That boy Josh, move his hair. So we had a, we had a dead end. Do you like that? Why don't you say, I agree. Josh is smooth as hell. I agree. Wait, one more time. I agree. I agree. Smooth. Smooth. Yeah. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. As hell. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth with a V. Smooth with an F. Why can't you V it? I am. Smooth. He's smooth. All right, pull up this Dilbert article title. Yeah, yes, please. Just the title popped up on my phone and make me laugh. Oh, they changed the article title. Well, the article popped up on my phone. Scott Adams, creator of the satirical Dilbert comics. What did it say exactly? It was like, Scott Adams, creator of the satirical Dilbert comic strip. Who said racist shit on a podcast? Yeah, who like got canceled. Oh, right there. This one. Scott Adams whose comic strip Dilbert was a sensation until he made racist comments on his podcast, dies at 68. I just, that made me laugh so hard that his just whole life is sometimes like this very famous thing. And then he has a, he makes racist comments on the podcast and that's his life. That's so funny. Well, I'm curious to see what he said because I want to know. That's what I want to know. Can you find out binder what the Dilbert guy said? I just, you could literally put anyone's name in that article title and it's true. Just, just everyone, I feel like everyone famous past the age of 60s said something racist on a podcast and that's their life. It would have been fun here if you started making Dilbert racist. Dilbert gets divorced and takes like a really right when wormhole hook. Oh, I love that racist rant. Okay. He said, Adams urged. Oh, we got it. We got him. This is a full podcast, but I wonder what, uh, he goes, the second bold point because it's not okay to be white question mark. The guy who did Dilbert is like white people are under attack. Do get away, get away. I'm guessing. I accidentally joined a hate group. Do get away. It sounds like a YouTube title. Yeah, it does. Here's my tape. Yeah, we need, we need Scott Adams like this in the thumbnail. I actually joined a group. Mr. Beast is a priority on education does well. If, if anybody in the black community focuses on education, they'll do well as well as the, the system allows that. If they don't, I can't make that my problem anymore. It just can't be my problem. It can't be my problem. If the solution is so clear, so available, and people don't want to take it, it's just not my problem anymore. So I resigned. I resigned from the hate group called black Americans according to the rest of us in poll. 46% of them don't think white people are okay. Oh, he's saying they're the hate group. You're joined a black hate group. No, no, no, he joined a, it sounds like he joined a pro black group. And now he's calling it a hate group. Okay. The thing I can do is to say I'm not going to help. Well, he's saying it. Yeah, they hate the whites. Delbert. Not okay. Delbert, dude. Dude, we don't need to spread any more of this Dilbert rhetoric. Yeah, it's crazy. But this came after Adams urged white people to get the hell away from black people during racist rant online. What the hell? I got it, dude. Dude, what is already this Dilbert app? This would be so much fun if you wrote these as Dilbert. I know. Can we have AI do it? Yeah. Calvin Hobbs gets racist. I mean, you couldn't be more disconnected from reality when your job is creating like comics. I wonder how much money he made off Dilbert. How much money could Dilbert make a mess? Check his net worth. I bet like north of 10, 10 sheets, 10 sheets. I'm purposely not looking at you. Oh, now you want me to look at the AI answer. Yeah. 20 to 120 million. That's a big range. All right, let's go down. celebritynetworth.com. Hollywood life. 20 million. All right. 20 sheets. Oh, sorry. 20 sheets. 20 sheets. Sorry, it's all good. That's what the pre-hockey player is called Nils. Yeah. I'm hoping to make 20 sheets off just one project this year. I'm trying to get a couple of sheets by house. Rant it out. Come on, landlord. Make a couple of sheets off that. Let the place go shit. Let it get filled with a black bulb and Rant and ignore my tenants. This episode is brought to you by bear bells. Bear bells. Guys, what are some iconic pairings? Peanut butter and jelly. Obviously, Batman and Robin coffee in the mornings. What's that so true? Because when I wake up, I'm like, must drink coffee before I take on the day. Yes. Need coffee for energy. What's your coffee to make funny time at work? You were across the off-kid. Got to have coffee. Liam, what's your personal dynamic duo? I got one. Pissing your shitting. Emily. Mine's Will and Liam. Bear bells are strapped. The flavor we've all been waiting for PB&J. 200 grams of protein, no added sugar, all the nostalgia. And I'm going to try this bear bell, PB&J bar right now. Does it taste like a peanut butter and jelly in your mouth? Yeah, it does. That is really good. Well, there actually is jelly in here, isn't there? Yeah, there is. I'm looking at it. It's the number one protein bar in the U.S. and it's for good reason, all right? Bear bells are protein bars with 20 grams of protein, no added sugar, and taste as good as a candy bar. And I'll say it again, they do. That's not a lie. The new peanut butter and jelly flavor is out now. Grab it at Target, Walmart, or barebells.com. Use the code Friday for 15% off. If you love PB&J, as much as we do. Which is, which is probably unlikely, but use code Friday for 15% off. Thanks, people. So let's get back to the episode. Bliner, do you watch the Globes? I watched part of it. I didn't, like, I wasn't, I started it in the middle of it. I feel like you're, you'd be all over the Globes. Yeah, I feel like you'd be doing, like, drinking games with your friends. Like, no, I like to get for it. Jankham games. Like, you have, you print off, like, bingo cards. You're like, this is what I thought. Right, right. Like, drink when this person wins the award. No, no. What? Drink every time this person says something. What? What the hell are you talking about? You're saying you, I would play drinking games. Never said, we never said you would play drinking games. Okay. Didn't say that. I'm doing dry Jan, so no drinking. Me too. Yeah, me too. Well, I started off drinking after the new year, but I'm going to just go to, like, February 5th or something. Right. Because there's no rule. Naturally, right. Naturally. And there's no rules. Yeah. No, but no, I like watching, I like seeing pictures of the outfits. People post them on their story and then you hit yes or no, like, if I liked their outfit. But I come to the conclusion that I genuinely don't know who anyone is. Dude, Connor Wood was there. His fit was fit and dude. He pulled that shirt. He was, he was looking handsome, lad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He left no crumbs. She left no crumbs. Chica. Riba. That's what I said. When I saw Connor where I said, oh, Riba, when I started doing this, the apartment. Yeah. That's what that was for. You could have just told me you were in a trance, though. I was in a woman's blouse hanging from the waist down. You're in your gal's blouse. Nope. It's quite tight on you was. I won't tell you where I got the blouse from. Okay. Oh, oh. Anyways. Yeah, I came to the conclusion I have known. I have no idea who any famous actor is or director by the by their face. Like, I can't name anybody. Yeah. And I was sitting with my friend while we were watching it and she was showing me like photos of people who are at the Golden Globes. Like, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know that these people were. Like, she showed me a picture of like Martin source case. It was easy and I like didn't know. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that though. If anything, it's like you aren't as plugged in to the zeitgeist. Yes. You're not. The pop cultures. But isn't it like my job to be plugged in? No. Your job is to be good at editing and produce the pod and you're good at those. Yep. Your job is not to know pop culture. True. My guess. My growth. My growth. You're doing pretty good. Hey, you're still here. That's because I cast a spell on the two of you. Oh, I knew it. Don't do that. That's a binder blouse. Wait. You want to hear another runner russ? This is the craziest thing that happened to me last night. Yes, please. So hold on. Let me get ready. Okay. I was already ready. I rolled out of bed. Ready. Wow. Period. Period. Period. Well, period. You know how like you have dreams and you don't remember them until something the next day, like reminds you of that. Yes. So I had this dream that I had like a birthday party and this like attractive guy from like literally from when I was the town I grew up and never really spoke to him. How old was he? He was just a year older than me. Was it because you had no tongue? How old were you when how old is this version of him in your dream? It was like our age now. Both of us same ages. And I like never spoken in this man in my life. Because you had no tongue. Continue. Sorry. Never spoken in this man in my life. Yes, we follow each other on Instagram, but like never interacted and like I like genuinely forget what the man looks like. But like I just know that this guy was in my dream and he showed up to my birthday party. Oh, I've heard this one. This is where like the mother's. Yeah, the mother's because the mother is the doctor. And that's how she can operate on him. I've heard this one before. Yes. You can still tell that if you want. You're always calling out riddles before the end. Wait a little. This is all one wouldle. Long story short. Now that I'm like about to tell the rest of it, it's I'm realizing it's probably anti-climactic. Well, yeah, it's a dream you had, but continue. Well, no. So my room. You're going to be like, whoa, the climax of that thing that didn't happen. Blue my socks off of my feet. I just don't want to be here today. You're you're you're balls deep in the story. But I actually do. I'm realizing now that I'm absolutely fucked because I while I see the dream for what it is, which is a projection of her subconscious, her psyche, if you will. You know what? I should have told it backwards because it would have been better that way. Honestly, probably. Now that you're going to have to hear the second part, I should have told the second part first, but my roommate was on FaceTime with this guy that she's been talking to, but he lives in New York. Is this on the drink? Are you in the dream? No, this is real. This part now we're back into real. This is like inception. I don't know which part of this. Do you have a top that we could spin? Yeah, that would be very helpful. Anyway, we're trying to see if I'm trying to see if I have mutuals of this guy because he lives in New York. And, and he's a Jew and like, you know, it's the whole game of Jewish geography. Anyway, he goes he goes on to my Instagram and looks at like our mutuals and he goes, how do you know this guy? And then that's when it clicked to me that that was the guy in my dream who like literally takes up no morsels of space in my brain. I would have never remembered that that he was the guy. Oh my god, I want to die. I actually need to go home. Fuck, but do you think it would have been better if I just told that backwards where I was like, oh, like, I don't know or at all. Maybe, maybe not at all. I think if you had told it in different parts over, it was like a seven episode pause series. I need to do better. Like an HBO mini series. I need to do better at this, but like it was so crazy. It was so crazy. Like this guy was like, how do you know this guy? I'm like, I literally don't know him. All I know is that he was in my fucking dream last night. What did he do? And I didn't. I wouldn't. What are the odds? It's a weird coincidence. You know, what are the odds that like the one random mother fucker or my dream? It's a matrix. It's a matrix. Like, don't you find that so weird? You should talk to Elise. She's been having some matrix moments. They've been really mugging her out. Really? Elise has been having a matrix a year. It's kind of been like, I'm watching this woman have a psychotic break. Every time something happens, Elise goes, I for saw this. But then she pulls out proof. She does. She doesn't have it. It's pretty scary. Really? Yeah. Elise is highly connected to the universe. I love. I love you. Elise can manifest shit. Really? Yeah. I'm pretty sure she's into it. Have you ever manifest or something? Actually, I think she can one manifest stuff. Sorry. Have you ever manifested something? Nope. You manifested that hand job. You made me give you a mat. No. I don't know if that was manifesting though. You were manifesting me. God, I got to fucking love you, but I fucking hate you, but I love you. I'm manifested hooking up with my celebrity crush. Look, I actually just genuinely in my brain was so delusional to believe that it was going to happen. I thought they executed him. Didn't they execute him in like the 90s? There was like O5. Tell us it on. O5, that's it. Yeah, I saw the video. They hung them. Yeah. So you're a liar? Anyway, that was my binder blast of the day. That was a blast. You know what? That was a, that was a, you live in your own guys. You live in you learn or you don't learn by like my eyebrows singed off. I feel like the guy in home alone, when he got electrocuted, he's all bones for a second. Oh, he just got arrested for hiring a prostitute. Yeah. Can we not publicize that info though? What the man live? He's on his way out. Also, yeah, it's like. He's on his sad. It's sad. A single guy in like his 70s just trying to fucking have a knife with a woman. We're gonna lock him off of that. Look up. I forgot his actual name, but exactly. That's that even adds. Yeah, that sucks. That's like. Fuck, dude. I can't remember his character's name. Look up a sticky bandit prostitute. We're not the wet bandit anymore. We're the sticky bandits. Oh, Daniel Stern, a marvel, marvel merchants, a marvel. And of course they use the photo where he looks like, like a villain in Pokemon. Yeah. Oh, he was cited. He wasn't even arrested. Soliciting a prostitute. What's the, does that mean he didn't even go through with it? Who's just like the ordered one? What's with his like, are these mutton chops? Sounds like Daniel Stern didn't want to be home alone because cops issued him a citation. Are you fucking kidding me? Go to who wrote this article for a allegedly trying to hire an escrow to the name of the person who wrote this article. TMZ staff. They don't want to give away their names. Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame, shame. Dude, this is like when Crafts got in trouble for getting a hand job at that massage place. His wife died. I think there was more to that sex work is work guys. I agree, but I think there was more to that. What was the situation? What? Can't say what was going on? Let's, you know, at least it's like tapped into like universe in a similar way. I'm tapped into the inner machination, not the universe, but the inner machinations of this cosmic gumbo, we love it. Sex trafficking. Oh, oh, oh, no, I don't know what happened. Man cut open dead hog and ate it in public. Click on that. I love that. I love that shit. There's a video. I think it's blurred. Why? Well, we can find that. Don't tease me like that. I'm just going to picture it. This lady looks like she's AI. Now, I'm going to have to cut it open to see what it looks like on the inside. Click. Was he cold? Did he get inside of it for real? Ladies, anyone who knows Palm Beach knows this clock tower. This is a postcard spot, a tourist musty. And according to police, this is where a man dug into a full-grown hog's carcass and filmed it. Now, tonight we have that video and we did blur it because some of this may be disturbing for a few of our viewers. Maybe the worth avenue clock tower, a backdrop for sunrises, proposals, and those classic Palm Beach photos. The last place you'd expect to see this police say that's 27 year old Jonathan Hauston of Cluiston, kneeling on the sidewalk with a dead hog, the clock tower just feet behind him. Investigators say he cut the animal open blood and organs across the sidewalk and then bit into the carcass while recording content for his Instagram accounts. Oh, I didn't realize that in my back. No, my fault, twin. My fault, dude. What? What's this woman have to say about it? Oh, I mean, when they say four people are crazy, I mean, I guess they kind of are, that's that's insane. I think this is unbelievable. It happened on a Sunday morning in November when a witness thinking she was lonely. Can we find the guy's page? Yeah, go in the comments. Oh, ethically carnivore is his Instagram name. It was dead. I don't have a huge problem with this. I do. I mean, we do that. I eat pigs. No, I just think anyone that's uh, camhoring in public should be shot. Fair. I mean, you're camhoring and you're making other people's reactions. Part of your content. Uh, yeah, I don't like it. I'm not enjoying this man's. I'm not oh shit. Oh my god. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But look away. Just let us watch. Yeah. I actually don't want to say it. Just go away. I'm blurring that. Whoa. I didn't like that at all. I don't, I don't. I'm not. Oh my god, dude. That's crazy. This guy's this guy's plum crazy. Anthony Davis is likely to undergo surgery to repair ligament damage in his left hand and miss several months. Oh man. The worst trade. The worst trade in history gets worse. You got the American flag though. Let's look at the concoup these days. Oh, that's kind of fun. Um, is this quick break to talk to about better help? This episode is sponsored by better help. You know, Liam, did you know that the new year doesn't require a new you. Maybe just a less burden to you. Something with less weight you're carrying around. Liam, why are you carrying around all this weight on your shoulders? I don't know. I guess just like trying to identify what weighs me down, you know? Yeah. Maybe better help could help me do that. Well, I think they could because better help has quality therapists. Better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. Okay. Therapist match commitment. Better help does the initial matchmaking work for you. So you can focus on your therapy goals. Short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and are 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment. Right means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored wrecks. Yeah, you can switch right away. Better help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/afpod. That's better help. H-E-L-P.com/afpod. Thanks. Better help and equip word from Beth MGM. The college. The championship is coming up. We got the NFL playoffs. NFL playoffs. Sorry. NBA is cooking right now. So if you haven't signed up for Beth MGM yet, use bonus code afpod and you'll get up to a $1,500 new player offer in your first wager. $1,500. Here's how it works. Just download the Beth MGM app and sign up using bonus code afpod to pause at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. If that bet loses, you'll receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets. Then get access to second chance promos, odds, boost tokens, same game, parlays, and so much more. Beth MGM. Make it legendary. Thanks, Beth MGM. Let's get back into the episode. Oh, shout out to everyone in Pittsburgh who came this weekend. Had a great time with all of you. You know, it was really funny. I was asking the people at the venue. I was like, who was the, who's the worst person that's rolled through here? 'Cause they were mentioning that they've had some disease and they said that, what's your name? Stormy Daniels, is that your name? Tick that. The Trump porn star? Yeah. Said she came and was an absolute nightmare. Browder on Mike didn't work. Oh, she did stand up. Yeah, she told her to stand up. She does stand up? Yeah. Can we look up some of it? Apparently it's garbage. I would imagine. Do you think she has any Trump material? I'm kidding. I would assume that's most of her act. Yeah. Maybe it's good. Why am I hating? But they said it was terrible. Everyone is in tones. What can you do? Shout out to everyone in Pittsburgh. I'm going to Philly soon. Check it out. We came to the 23rd Philly Helium. Let's ride. I had that in Bander, please. Damn, that's sick. Oh, wow. Do you have crink, crinkers? I texted you some over the last week. I've been trying to find my, this the whole time. Maybe I slagged them. No, I think you did text me on them. I did not. One of the riders on NSFW is doing a survivor pod and some going on next week. Ooh, a survivor pod. Which season? Well, season 50 is coming up. When? Season 50 is the next one. I know when it's coming out. I think February or March? And it's, you know, some of the biggest names in survivor. So I'm very excited about that. Me too. It's probably not going to be great. But, uh. Dude, Jeff lost his fastball and it's okay. Uh, I don't know how much of it is, Jeff and how much is the producers being like, we have to get Mr. Beast. We have to get Jimmy Fallon. You have to incorporate them. Yeah. No, no shade to Jimmy Fallon. I'm just saying I liked old seas shade to Mr. Beast because I don't like having all of this shit. Tarnished survivor. Like it should be a, it just doesn't feel like survivor anymore. It feels more like a Mr. Beast game show than. Are you saying that because you did not get cast on to Beast games, even though you applied several times. You spent weeks and weeks on your audition for Beast Games. Weeks. I helped you for weeks. And remember when you didn't get it and it came out that you bought a turtle shell. A human sized turtle shell. Oh, don't cry. Don't cry. Oh, oh, oh, stop yourself. Stop yourself. Stop yourself. Stop yourself. Stop sorry. No, we want to see that. And then you got inside this turtle shell inside your room and didn't come out. I had to bring you bowls of milk and you only ate milk for weeks. And then sometimes I'd have to leave for a couple days I'd come back and the milk was curdled. And you said don't take it. I like it like this. I like when it becomes a pudding. I need to poke your head out of your leather back turtle shell. That might, that might have something to do with it. Yeah. Like those tears. Might have a little, might have a little bit to do with it. Your mascara is running. You have mascara running down your face. I don't. I just put everything in a lot of this and I put it, I put everything in the interview. And I thought I was gonna get it and I did it and I feel so stupid. I feel so stupid. My money. It's all right. Oh, it's all right. Can you touch my leg? Oh, can you touch my leg? Oh, it's all right, man. Oh, oh, it's fine. It's fine. Because I remember Jimmy sent you that nice letter. Yeah, I was really nice of him. Emily, what did we just talk about? Mr. Beason, you not be getting on his pretty good. I saw her on her phone the whole time. So that's pretty good. That was a good multitasking. I was paying attention. No, I know. I'm saying I'm impressed. I thought you weren't. That's crazy. I can't see Bonder's face. Also, you have no obligation to pay attention. Yeah, I do. Not the whole time. Well, if you guys are doing going down like a bit, I try to tune it out because like I have as we all know an issue of interrupting and sometimes I don't realize you're in a bit. So when I tune it out, it helps you get like a long bit going out. I was just giving you hard time, Emily. I think you're a great producer. You couldn't even look me in the eye when you said that. Whoa. All right, so that's kind of scare me. Maybe we stop for the pod. Should we do crackers? By the way, Liam, the one you sent me. Yes. I've gotten sent at least five times this week on my personal. Me too, that's why I don't know. And I bet you will. It looks like me or something. Can you guess which one? No, because there's about six guys who have clearly physical and mental disability and people send them to me all the time. And it's rude to me and it's rude to the people that you're sending. But you know what, they're all correct. Do you can you guess which one? No, I can't. I don't know their names. I don't look at them unless they're what describe. They look like me, but they look like they are physically disabled. Well, I wouldn't see that. And people find that pretty funny. I wouldn't say those things about this guy. Oh, man, dude, I don't want to see this. Pull it up. Cracker of the Week. Cracker of the Week. I stepped in dog shit in this airport. These were my nice shoes. I dressed up today. I treated myself like you ever before. Okay, these were Prada. And now they have dog shit. Dog shit. This is why I travel. I travel private. I stepped in dog. Yeah, that's me. So I saw that I never clicked on it because I just assumed this guy was from like Bulgaria and didn't speak English. No, he's just from the look of him. Metacon. He makes some great videos. He's the man. Shout out. No, I just I just didn't know. He just gave me vibes of like this guy is from a block country. A block? Oh, I said black. I did not. Isn't it so nice to have doppelgangers? Like, how fun is that? Fun. Does Liam? No, Liam gets Liam. You got what? Yeah. And the guy who from last two episodes ago or something. She's pretty sad actually. Yeah. Okay. All right, I'll do my character now. Did you know when I said crumper? I didn't find one. Sorry, Liam wins. I went to the movie theater. All right, I couldn't find anymore. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, one second. Hold on, Liam's scrolling on his phone. Well, I'm trying to find another crack right now. That's pretty good. No, I just didn't want Emily's story to interrupt you scrolling on your phone. Well, I don't want to be on my phone during the pod. Wait, why not? Bad look. Is it horrible? Oh, then why are you? I'm trying to find a good character. Oh, weird. I'm trying to find a cracker. That's strange. You didn't have one. No, I just thought that was weird. And I don't think you're a bad guy or lesser of a good person for it, right? Right. Does that make sense, Liam? Makes sense. Sweet, brother. I love you, brother. What do we got back here in Gizmo's or gadgets? I mean, there's literally a dog robot right in front of your face. If you ever scream at me again, I'll kill myself on camera. Okay. Sorry. Fuck it. What are we saying, binder? And? And I saw Housemaid. How was it? It hurts pretty good. It was really good. What's it about? It is about this woman who is a nanny, like a full-time livin nanny at this house and chaos erupts. What erupts? What kind of chaos? Spoiled the mother. You want me to spoil the movie? I don't. Spoil it. I think you should see it. Huh? Actually don't want to spoil it. Spoil it, dude. I want to see what you, I don't want that. We got, I want to see it. I'm never going to see it. You're not? It was really good. What if I see it? Who's in it? You don't care if I see it? Sydney Sweeney. So you're obviously seeing it. Oh, was Sydney the Sydney Sweeney movie? I heard it was horrible. An Amanda Siphread. Siphread. Yeah, I heard it was terrible. Look up to the IMDB reviews. You might be thinking of it. It was like bad at first and then the twist started to happen where you realize like, okay, this is why people like this movie. Dude, spoil the shit from my ass. Seven. Not great. What about Rotten T? Rotten Tomatoes. 72%. That's not bad. Uh-oh. Oh, 92 to pop a meter. Ew. Ew, I'm out of to see that. See the, the razzy nominations are out. Who wins? There's a lot of categories actually. What's the razzy nominations? It's like the opposite of the Oscars. It's like for the worst of the year. I think the worst pictures are the, Oh, Ice Cube, uh, yeah, War of the Worlds. That's going to win. Snow White's on there. Um, I haven't seen any of them. I got to watch that. What would you do if you made a movie and ended up in the razzy awards? I could see that happening. Take my own life, probably. Uh, didn't in my wrong Ice Cube's War of the Worlds movie, didn't they use like footage from actual terrorist attacks in the movie? I did not know that. Can you look that up, Emily? That's, I've only seen a one clip of when his son dies and he reacts like nothing happened. I mean, Emily, just like the way you googled that. Sorry, but I know you were, I knew you were going to fucking say something, but like I just, I was trying to go quick. Oh my god, they did. That's insane. This, this is like one of those movies that they filmed during COVID. They're like easy money grab. It was so bad that the movie it ended up being was completely different with like the edit they put together. And the way they just like Frankenstein, a completely different script. It is true. The trailer is the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's, it is like, oh, that's right. The guy like they say the day by ordering a part. Yeah, it's insane. But the, uh, the trailer literally feels like a Tim Robinson. I think you should leave sketch. There is a line in the trailer and it says, data is their food. It's like bones are their money. You've seen it right? What? The trailer for this? Uh, no. You haven't? No. Emily, pull up the trailer. I've seen. I don't know. We can't play it out for. Oh, you can't. Well, there's just be like demonetized. Uh, that's, you know, trailer? That's fine. How, I mean, how much are we really making per episode on monetization? It's got to be like 50 bucks. Yeah. I would like to leave it in because it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Hey, you are your data. See, you took the Sunday graveyard shift again. Dad, when's the last time you left the office? That's classified. They lie. The surveillance industrial complex is collecting massive amounts of data with the Goliath program. Our most precious resource on earth is data. And data is food for the superior intelligence. Because you never believed in truth. Holy fuck, Alex Terrible. We have to watch this. The data is their food. Tell, yeah, what they're comprised of. No, sir. I've never seen anything like this. I witness video is coming in from all over the world. You are the harvests. It's insane. It's worse these days. I have to watch this. This seems like one of those movies where it actually had nothing to do with War of the Worlds. And they're like, the only way we can save this is to edit in the War of the Worlds enemies and use that IP. Yeah. That looks like it could. That's definitely so bad. It's good again. It's worse than you think. Get away from that. Get away from that. Man, dude. Yeah, it's, it's abysmal. 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Guys, Lucy's now in stores nationwide. You can find a retailer near you at Lucy.co/stores or get Lucy delivered to you ASAP on apps like DoorDash and GoPuff. And you can always set it and forget it with a monthly subscription delivered to your door from Lucy.co. Lucy is the only pouch that delivers long lasting on demand flavor. Find a store at Lucy.co/stores or get it shipped with 20% off your first order at Lucy.co/fpod using code fpod. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal agent. Every customer is age-verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine, nicotine is an addictive chemical. Thank you, Lucy. Man, dude, you see Will Smith doing just some pop up there. He's doing this new like a discover show where he's going to all of the continents. Look this up, binder. To do what? To escape America. I think his career is over. Yeah. Well, he's like, he has nowhere else to go. Pull the pole. That's Will Smith. I kind of like that. That's a guy who's about to kill himself. You have to be a little concerned about that when he's pulling out moves like this. Dude, what a fall from Grace. He literally was a goat. Yeah. He ruined his life the night he won the Oscars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Here's the thing though. It's like our conversation we were having last night about athletes who throw on the field, non-contact injury. They tear their ACL was if they had sat out a week. Was it going to happen in the next play? Will Smith, this was bubbling up. Something was going to happen if it wasn't the Oscars. His life was collapsing from the inside. Yeah, he definitely. This could have been like an OJ situation. We're lucky we got away with a slap. You're probably right. The slap might be the greatest thing to ever happen to Will Smith. I was thinking about it might have saved his life. I was thinking about the slap last night being like everyone seen that, right? Yeah. It's like two girls one cup. Like everyone knows what it is. Yeah. It's like that high up on the thing. What else is in that echelon? Two girls one cup, Will Smith's slap in Chris Rock. What's the number? Fringe guy. Fringe guy. You're random roommate freshman year. What are some other ones? You got Linus? Linus Tanner. Linus Tanner, Uncle Barnabas. Well, those are God tier. We're just talking S tier right now. Yeah, those are God tier. Those are deity tier. 9/11. 9/11 is up there with the Will Smith slap. I feel like 9/11 can't count though. Why not? I feel like it's in its own that's its own genre. That's God tier with Linus. That's deity tier. 9/11 and Linus and random roommate. There's a ghost. There's a ghost? That was kind of spooky. What fell? Don't name the brand. Just what fell? A hat, a cap. Might have been one of ours. It is ours. The name of the brand almost Friday merch. Whoa, what is this? Is this like interstellar and there's a version of me banging on the wall screaming. Please don't compare your videos to 9/11. It'll end our career. Yeah. Stop! I think we should leave it in any way. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. I'm going pull the pole because I'm going pull the pole. Should we give away our old heat poster? I was thinking I want to put it behind me instead of the blindside poster at my desk because the blindside poster when I'm on meetings, I have to blur my background because I don't want people to see that. All right, fair enough. All right, guys, Emily's taking the poster away from one of you. Yep. Think of that. How about Emily, you sign the blindside poster and send it to someone? That we can do. Comment blindside down below if you want the poster. A blinder blast. We should call it a blindside. A blinder side. How have we never thought of that? Binder blindside. Blinderside. Blinderside. She dips beneath lasers. Did you guys watch I love LA? I have not seen I love LA yet. I heard it's pretty good, though. It's I've heard gorgeous. I just I never knew who Rachel sent it was until this show and I'm obsessed with her. Can we like can can you like do sketches with her? Like I feel like she does that stuff. She's way too big for us. No, I need her. She's out. She's three tears of I feel like you she you she would put you guys in a show. No, I feel like she would hate. Yes, we're the type of guys she's made. No, I really think you guys would get along. No, she wouldn't like us. Why? Because we stink. We stink. No, you don't. You're so tired. You're such a little fellows. We have B.O. Yeah, we have B.O. And our B.O. sync up like women's periods. Yep. All right, I want to read this though. Yo, Debbie on that. I'll go red. Rachel sent it if you're listening. Oh, well, that is true. She does hate to pop it. She hates us, but she doesn't. All right, read me this binder. A former adult film star who beheaded and killed her ex-husband will serve at least 28 years in prison, a judge ruled Thursday. In November, following a two week trial, a jury convicted Devon Michaels, 47, of first degree murder with a deadly weapon for the death of 46-year-old Jonathan Willett. Michael's killed Jonathan Willett inside his Henderson home the night of August 6, 2023, beating him with a stick and then decapitating him. Michaels, who last worked as a realtor, also uses the name Nikki Fairchild and Tracy Tevara's on this past Thursday. She was sentenced to 28 years to life. I want to she's dating her son. I want to read more about that. Okay, so Michaels married Jonathan Willett in 2012, but divorced him in 2018. Michaels later married Jonathan Willett's son. Deviere Willett, 29, although she described both as marriages of convenience, according to testimony. No, what does that mean? What's a marriage of convenience? It's like how you do this pod with me and you live with me. You don't want to, but it just kind of works for now. It works for you for now. fully understand what that means now. Thank you. Yep. Following his murder, the father and stepmother took custody of the children, the grandparents had never met their grandchildren and never met Michaels. They said, but do you think you could cut a man's head off? No. What if you wronged you slightly slightly wrong me? No, but what about a man's penis? Absolutely not. What if you had laser vision? Would you be able to do it? What does laser vision mean? Like if I could just laser it off? Exactly. No. Why not? Because I'm not evil. You're emotional. I don't think anything about what she did is evil. Okay. Break down to me how what she did is evil. Okay. You have the floor? Balls in court. I can't. Well. Exactly. You can't even. Exactly. Okay. Let's move on. I have a character. Do it. All right. This is this is the worst character ever come up with. That's when you know it's going to be so crazy. All right. You are Carlito the magnificent. Sounds good. You are a magician performing street magic, but this is in a universe where magic is real and everyone can do it. Okay. Ready? All right. Go. Okay. Please hand me your cell phone. Get a job. You bum. That's a character. Come on, man. You get it? Yeah. I do. I do. I do. You're in this universe. You're the equivalent of a guy like going up to like wash someone's car when they stop at a red light. That would be exactly what it's like. And it's raining while I'm doing it. The cards are soaking wet. Oh man. That's a great comp. That's a great fucking comp, dude. All right. There you go. That's pretty good. All right. I'll do mine. I'll do that. Here they say there are five love languages. Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and receiving gifts. I say there are 12 love languages. One, words of affirmation. Two, never holding me accountable for my actions. Three, quality time. Four, financially and emotionally enabling my addictions. Five, allowing me to avoid difficult or serious conversations about our future. Six, acts of service, like getting me roommates out of all. Seven, making peace with the fact that I turned into a monster after four drinks. Eight, never asking me to try anything new. Nine, physical touch. Ten, ignoring the fact that all my closest friends are bad people. Eleven, receiving gifts. If you choose that one, your piece of shit. Twelve, never farting or pooping while I'm around you ever. What's your love language? Mine, quality time. I have some other stuff. Remember those frog and toad books? This is just a new bit of, okay? Yeah, I remember. There were four frog and toad books. Frog and toad are friends. Frog and toad together. Frog and toad all year and days with frog and toad. I've made some new ones. Frog and toad tethered through sin. Frog and toad suicide packed. Frog and toad visit hell. Frog, frog and toad exiled. Fire and Satan and frog and toad. Frog and toad acid movie theater bomb attack. That's it. That's it. Frog and toad pop pop secret. Pop pops old uniform. You can do a million frog and toads dude. Limitless. I'm trying that. The frog and toad been on stage and spawning. Swimming. Throw it out. It's bombing. Yeah, frog. Nobody's like, oh, that frog and toad thing really was like really good. Do that. Do that frog and toad shit. Come back next week. Do that shit. Do that frog and toad should support nobody. You do you can headline that frog and toad shit killed. Emily, how long have we been going? An hour or five. Cash caught. It's a short one, dude. What do you want? What do you want from me? I'm sorry. We'll have a guys. That's the episode. We'll have a much longer one. We have a special guest next week. It's very special. Yeah. It's only like an hour and a half maybe at least for the next step. And I'm sorry that half this episode was me binder blasting. I didn't mean it. Binder blindside. Binder blindside. Binder blindside. Binder blindside is you throw me a pass. I'm running down the sideline. Field is wide open. I wake up in a hospital. Turns out I fumbled. Wake up in a hospital. Coaches there. He's crying. My career's over. I know just from the look in his eyes. I've never seen a grown man like that cry. That's a binder blindside. Then Wood Harris walks in. They say family only. He goes, can't you see the family resemblance? That's my brother. They all leave. I start to break down crying. The door shuts. Emily's been standing there the entire time. She's smoking. She says she goes, nothing personal kid walks out. Damn. I think I goosebumps. She asses it on the ground. Nails with her high heel. Nails the ash. Hard to do. Like the Pixar lamp jumping on the eye. Yes. Damn dude. I can see it. It's like I'm fucking there. Nothing personal kid. Unplugs my machine. That's just the binder blindside. Takes five fentanyl patches. Slaps onto the back of your thigh. You can't reach them. She said, good luck. Those are quick release. They're posted no fentanyl patches. It says, it says, just kick me. I'm overdosing. I don't even know. All right. Philadelphia, Philly Helium, please. I'm coming soon. Not this weekend, but next weekend I'll be at Philadelphia doing stand-up comedy at the Helium Comedy Club. Rob Stance will be opening for me. It's good. Oh, Rob Stance, the man. So funny. Probably gonna fuck him there. Is he living Philly? Philly? He's kind of like, he's like a, he's like a lives around, you know. He never really know real lives. He's like, oh, he's safe there. Sometimes, you know. No mad. He's a no mad. He's a, he's a no mad guy. On the run, you could say. Sure. On the run from what? Sure. All right. Thanks. [BLANK_AUDIO]