Billie Eilish Returns

Hi, my name is Billy Eilish, and I feel really good about being a Conan O'Brien's friend. Oh, that's so nice! It's true! Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien's "A Friend" joined by Sonoma Fessian, Hay Sonoma, and David, of course, hopping. And there's been a lot of chatter, I guess, online about Eduardo, because Eduardo just, I guess, this episode just dropped where he called me a little bit, and Eduardo, let's talk about this. Just blowing up, people are loving it, that you called your employer a little bitch, and you, today, was all blowing up, admitted to me that you were a little rattled after. I was, I remember it happening, and I remember going home and talking to my wife, she'll ask, "How was work today?" I was like, "You know, kind of weird," and she said, "What do you mean?" And she knows the hygiene, she's seen some of the videos, and I said, "Today, I think I went a little too far," and she said, "What did you say?" I said, "I called a little bitch," and she just started laughing. Oh, she didn't say, "Oh, my God, that's too far," she just started laughing. Well, you know, I looked into it, and apparently, and I consulted my doctor, and I talked to family, I am a little bit. So you are on safe ground here. I feel better. No, no, no, you, you, I, it just felt weird, you know, to, I'm not used to it. It didn't feel just right in every way. It was a candid moment, yeah, but that's what makes it work. It wasn't weird for you at all. No. Really? Because I, I don't know how you guys felt, but I was like, "Oh, whoa, Eduardo went there, nobody else felt that?" No. When you say, "went there," it sounds like he visited a place that we all know about. He said the thing that we're all thinking, like it's the Emperor's, you know, new clothes. Okay. I, I wasn't, I think that's how I, I think you matched myself in that. I think you mirrored how I felt, and I just, so I just felt like I was getting into perfect, I was stepping into a bath that was perfect human body temperature. That's how it felt to me. You create an environment that people feel safe to call you a little bitch in. Yes, yeah. Hey, watch it. You know, you, you have to be careful. Yeah. I mean, is it because Eduardo? Is he the only one who could say that to you? Eduardo has, yeah, Eduardo has all kinds of cred. He's like the coolest guy here, and he designed the studio and he's, you know, he's not thirsty at all. He doesn't need praise. He's just this guy. He's just Eduardo. He knows he's good. So when he says something, it has a certain ring of truth. He just insulted everybody in here. Well, yeah. It's like you're the only person in you. It's Eduardo, and then just a collection of the worst people I've ever seen. So no, you hired every single person in this room. I didn't hire you. Sona hired you. That's true. Thanks. I don't even think I hired Sona anymore. I was interviewing her. She offered me a drink. I blacked out. She was my assistant. Oh no. Yeah. Roofed me. And then he became my assistant. Yeah. I mean, just sign papers. Yes. Many papers. But, yeah, I do think if Adam, if you call me a little bitch, it would upset me. You know, if you said like, hey, we're going to do this dynamic ad insertion. It's a new policy. It's serious. I'd be like, well, I don't think I want to do that. You'd be like, what are you? A little bitch. I'd be upset. You know, Blake, if you said, hey, little bitch, I'd be freaked out. I would physically assault you. And David, that would be a huge mistake coming from you to call me a little bitch, you know, and what context would you say it? Oh. Let's think of a context you'd say. Oh, you'd say, hey, I'm going to see Hillary Duff tonight and put it out for the seventh night in a row. I'm going to see her and then I'm following her to she's taking a vacation and I'm following her in her family. Oh my God. I know where she's staying. I don't think. But if you said, hey, I'm going to go see a show tonight and I have an extra, I have a third ticket because Dustin and I are going, but Conan, you can come to and I said, I don't know. I'm, it's kind of late and I don't think that's my scene. So I don't think I'll go. That's, I fuck you, a little bitch. Yeah. Oh God. Wait a minute. What? What? What? What? That's way too far. Jesus. What's the hell? I thought it would, I thought it would be like a new personality for me. Oh. That was awful. It's not cool. Hold you, little bitch. No. That's not how you do it. Nobody's here. Do you like him? Go to town. He did. I think you gave him license to vent and then he vented. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Ten years of work. Did your mom come out? Yeah. What if, what if your mom heard that? What was she going to need to bleep that? Is that true? Yeah. She'd be upset, right? It disappointed at me. Yeah. She's a good woman, your mom. Yeah. Remember when I sent her flowers? That was really nice. Because she taught me how to flip. She helped you with your contact. Yeah. I grew into the window behind her. That's how fast Korn grows around your house. There in Southern, Southern Chicago, Illinois, whatever, and anyway, and it was like. And then the Korn went, ow, help, to wash your hands first. Yeah. Talking Korn in Southern Illinois that teaches you how to put contact lenses in. We got the phone. Exactly. We got it. Okay. So any who, um, yeah, she'd be upset if she heard you talk to her with me. But, uh, no, you just got mad props from me for, you know what, you, you, it was, I think it, it came out of your face because it was so right for you to say it in that moment. Uh, testament to you, I talked to some of my friends like that. So I just felt very comfortable, you know, to, uh, so can I start hanging with you and your crew? Maybe. What do you guys do when you hang with your friends? Where do you go? It depends on what we're doing. Different, different things. Do you ever just drive around in that car that the entourage guys had? No. No, I don't do that anymore. Of course. Yeah, you used to do that. Licking con ill. Just hang out, watch the game. Watch the game. Golf. I want to drive around town with you and your friends and I want to rent the same car they used in entourage. Let's do it. Can we do that sometimes? Let's do it. Where are you going to go? And play that pit bull song on. Oh my God. Back in time. Men in black soundtrack. Oh God. We're, what are you guys going to do and where are you going to go? Drive around. Be seen by people. Okay. We're just crews. Yeah, crews, crews. We just crews. Okay. What do we get? What do we eat? Um. Some burgers, maybe. Okay. Some tacos. Yeah. What do you say tacos? I'm higher. He's going to pay. You're going to get some like steak at Michelin restaurant. You put a little, you put a little strength. It's tacos. What do you want me to say? You can say tacos the way I say it. You said it. Tacos. Tacos. Why would he say it the way you say it? But if I switched it, if I switched it and said tacos that way, would you be a fan? I'd be like, great. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm going to get some mayonnaise and then I'm going to get some ice cream and some tacos. Yes. You're okay with that. Yes. That's cool. I'm going to start doing that. Yeah. Maybe with a lot of words, like quesadillas and stuff. Don't say it that way. Yeah. Don't say it like that. Guess it is. Say it like he said it. Yeah. Guess it is. Exactly. Your voice is going lower. You're trying to see a Eduardo. Yes. That's what you're doing. You're trying to be a Eduardo right now. Every now and then I like to have, sometimes I like to have some starbursts. Yeah. And then I like to have some phanta, yummy, yummy, yummy out of a can. Yeah. And then some tacos. It's perfect. In case it is. All right. You can hang with us. You know. Yeah. I'm going to hang. We're going to drive around. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. My guest today is a Grammy award winning singer songwriter whose new concert movie, Billy Eilish, Hit Me Hard and Soft, The Tour Live in 3D is out now and this incredible person was on the show once before. We had a blast. She's back. And I'm thrilled. Billy Eilish, welcome. We had such a good time. Last time you were here. It was the best day ever. It was. That's a little crazy. I loved it. I really loved it. It was one of my favorite days. I loved it so much. Phineas was so upset. Yesterday we were in the studio and he had seen my calendar and he was like, are you doing Conan tomorrow? And I was like, yeah. He was really upset. He was like, can I. I know I don't have anything to do with the movie, but please. Anyway. Anyway. I don't want to remember. There's a little awkward. I last time, towards the end of the podcast, they said, Billy, you're welcome back anytime. And then I, I don't know what got into it, but I turned to Phineas. Do you remember this? Yes. And I was like, you shall never be here. It was weird. It was very weird and uncalled for. Uncalled for. Yeah, uncalled for. No, I love Phineas. He's welcome here anytime. But I'm so thrilled that you were here today. The first thing that comes to my mind, I might have mentioned this last time, I think this woman has magical eyes. Look at those eyes there. I mean, you must get this all the time, but what do you. No one I'm saying like your eyes are in stunningly, yeah, but also it looks like you can look into other worlds with those eyes. I don't have eyes like that. I have like suspicious creepy eyes. You have like artist eyes that look out and see new worlds. And then I'm like, "Hi Billy, how's it going?" "Gallem ring, ring, passes." And you're just, there's so much right? Am I wrong? Yeah, I even know how you're right. They're both blue, both your eyes are blue. But you're right, they are, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're better on their eyes. Yeah, it's okay. You have beautiful eyes too though Conan. No, no, no, thank you for the compliment. That's so sweet and ridiculous. Okay, here's what I was thinking about today. All right, this is what I'm thinking about. You know, I'm going to embarrass you for a second, but the statistics are insane. 44 hot 100 hits, 10 Grammys, two Oscars. And I had this feeling today, it's time to get out. Get a Hyundai dealership in the valley. Billy's Hyundai's. That's a good car. You don't need guns, yeah. Now listen, your team, you came with a big team. They're going to be mad. It's time to get out. They're trying to open the door now. And I bolted the door so they can't get in. They're like smashing it a lot. I just think, just think about it. You with a car dealership, I think you'd be, you'd do great. I do love cars. Why did you think of that? What made you think I think the Hyundai is a solid car. But why? I'm just trying to get free Hyundai now. Why did they sponsor on our show? That's why they sponsor on this. Oh, is that true? I don't even know of it. I don't even know if it's a Hyundai. So many times that turn. It's the way it rolls off the tongue. Hyundai. Hyundai. I'm looking for that car. What do you, what are the, like ads you have to do for this podcast? When people, they used to be when we started out, it was really fun. Because they were these, and listen, I love these products. I really do. But it would be like a company, a company, there was a company called Fracture. I'm sure it still is. And they would take, let's say you had a nice picture of you and Phineas together. You would take it to Fracture and they would send it back to you and it would be etched into glass. Oh, my God. And so I used to do these long runs where I would say, you're the day someone showed me a picture of my grandmother on paper and I ripped it up. Because if it's not on glass, what are you doing? You have to have Fracture prints. So that was the early days. Then when the podcast got big, suddenly it's these products that are harder and harder to kind of have the same fun with except Luxbede. Oh, God. Luxbede. Luxbede, it's a bidet. A bidet? Oh, wow. Yeah, I think you know what a bidet is. Oh, yeah. Okay, you've been around. Oh, yeah. And love me a good bidet. They would write the most embarrassing copy and it was stuff like, you know, after a big Thanksgiving meal, you can do some real damage always to mislead you. And it was, and I didn't know I was starting to read it before I knew what it was. So it's on the internet. Where is it? Where can you see the side? It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube and I lost my mind. Also, the second they did, we, we love the Luxbede people so much. They actually wrote an ad where it started with a fake ad for like a burrito company. Right. And then it turns into burritos and then he's like, oh my God, is this a Luxbede? No, they were tricking me. They were baiting me. Wow. Yes, I've humiliated myself many times with average. But we're not here to talk about the Luxbede. And so I'm like, what the hell is this? How happy? Can I just say one thing? How happy is Luxbede and fracture right now? That one of the biggest music stars in the world is here and we're talking about their products and not getting paid. Yeah, I just wanted to say that. Well, I want to start by asking about your family. How is Phineas? How's he doing? He's doing great. He's doing great. He's getting married in August. Okay. And do we, do we like this person? We love her. Her name is Claudia. She's wonderful. They've been together like seven years. And yeah, it's fucking awesome. I'm very excited. Okay. Are you going to participate in this festivity at all? Or is that a secret you can't say? It probably is a secret, but yes. I'm very excited. Oh, cool. Yeah, so he's really good. We're like in the middle of making an album, which is interesting because the last time I came here, the only time I came here was like three years ago, almost to the day. Yep. And it was also in the middle of an album process. And it was actually, I was thinking about this like yesterday. It was the day that we made Birds of a Feather when we came here. It was like the morning after we had written the beginning of it. Oh, my God. And I remember coming in here and going into that room, you and I were just in talking. Yep. And I remember like seeing some team members because all of my team was here for that because they were so excited that I was going to be doing this. Everyone on my whole label came. And I remember walking in there and going like, I think we made a really cool song. It's called Birds of a Feather. And I remember playing it for them. So with that being said, that's really, isn't it? But can I say one thing? This is how I remember it. We really left to go finish it anyway. This is how I remember that. Okay. So I came in and you were there with Phineas and I said, you guys seem to be really tight. And we are really tight. And I said, it's almost like you're Birds of a Feather. Oh, my God. And this is what I recall very distinctly. Billy, you said Birds of a Feather, hey, there's something there. And I said, yeah, maybe an A minor. Remember this? And then you said, great idea. And you said, let's split the royalties. And I said, okay, let's talk. And then it never happened. I will, Birds of a Feather. Nice try there. Anyway, that's how I remember it. Look at that hair. Look at that. This hair is everywhere. And you know what it is? I left it. Did you blow? No, I didn't do anything. This is called. Yeah, I went to a dry bird today and got my hair blown out. Because I'm going to prom. No, I let it get a little long to the Oscars. And then I haven't cut it. And that was like two and a half weeks ago. And so what happens is it gets to this point where it's perfect. And then it goes like a centimeter more. It goes. And that's boring. But did you do it to yourself? I didn't do anything. It's just this is me. No way. This is your natural hair. Yeah, I mean, I didn't. I didn't. It won't play the same way it usually does where I can get my cool. I call it cool. Wave in it. Now it won't do that because it's too long. And it's just a big floppy match. No, it looks wonderful. All right, we're going to stick with this now. Okay. But here's what I also remember. I remember your parents were here and there was such a good vibe. And I was talking to your parents for a while. And I felt so good because I thought this is a real family. Like this is not okay. Let's pretend to be a real family. So we can make it through this podcast. You guys were here for quite a while. You wouldn't leave. Nope. I remember. Yeah. And I mean, really for like an hour later, I think you guys were still hanging out in the kitchen. It was really fun. Yeah. It was amazing telling you. But your parents were very cool and kind of in a great way unaffected by it all. Like they seemed like these are people that just want their kids to be happy. Yeah. And I find out I was reading some interview you did somewhere where you said, oh, when we drive places together, we all sing songs. You said, yeah, like like a family from like the 1950s and earn them in like a corny movie. Yeah, yeah. Is that true? It was true growing up. I probably said it like in a past tense, you know, like we did growing up. We're not usually all in a car together scene. I like that image. That's it. That now at this point in your career, you two will be like, well, you and your folks and your brother will get into a car together. And I'm thinking a station wagon from the late 70s. Yeah. No, that's that really makes us sound. Roll, roll, roll. Literally. But yes. And you know what? Sorry. I'm sorry. I cracked myself up and that means someone's always laughing. Yeah. Um, was there a time when you would do that because my family never did that. Ever. There was no joyous singing. Was there joyous anything? Um, we love to be around a ham chewing it. Chewing it. Chewing it. Like, like just chewing it, spitting it out like birds hanging off. We all had a different. We sat at a round table and each one there was a ham. There was six hands on six rows for each kid. And we would just go, ah, but um, no, there's a lot of laughter. Yeah. But there was no, uh, la, la, la, la, you know, singing along or doing harmonies or anything. You can't imagine my dad, you know, imagine your dad. We weren't fallalying. It was more. It was more like listening to music in the car and all of us singing along. Okay. More like that. And the only, the only reason I probably said it like that is because my childhood friend used to comment on like how kind of like surreal it was to be around our family because we were all singing all the time, like singing and like harmonizing with each other and listening to music constantly, playing music, playing guitar and piano. And like, so yes, music was always being played. But we grew up in the most musical family ever. Well, I think you have to be vulnerable if you're going to sing with other people. And I don't think in our family, we were, we would have let ourselves be that vulnerable. I'm not even kidding. I think it was all about, I guess Irish people, they're being like super well defended and then making jokes and everyone laughs. But if someone was to start singing, the rest of us would have started throwing things at them. You know what I mean? So maybe I wanted to be fallalying with my parents and my brothers and sisters. You know, it's funny. Yeah. I mean, I do my version. What would you say, David, or Soma? - I think you say-- - I think you have a great voice. - Yeah, well, I feel like you're the same person. - I play music. I kind of play guitar, and I love to do rockabilly stuff, that kind of, so yeah, that's my thing. - You did a Newport folk festival show, not too long ago. - Oh my god, well, what the hell? - All right, well. - So your family didn't sing or play music? Did they, did they, were they playing music? - No, there were very few records in our house. - And the records there were were comedy records, but my parents didn't have, you know, yeah, but we didn't, we were not. And then later on, we started getting our own records when we were teenagers, but my parents didn't have like a big record collection or anything. It just wasn't, we weren't that kind of people. So I would have not fit in with your family. - Well, I would have been in the way back at the station wagon going, "What's going on?" (laughing) - Well, well, well, well. (laughing) (upbeat music) - We have something in common, which is, I don't think you liked your name growing up and I didn't like my name growing up. Let's talk about that. - Let's talk about that. Well, tell me about yours. - Well, it's Conan, and that didn't fly when I was a kid. - Why, why, why? - People had never heard it before. It was before the Conan, the Barbarian comics really caught on. So early on, people were like, "Conin, what's that?" And then once the Barbarian movies started to come out, I swear to God, everyone was like, "Conin, "what are you the Barbarian? "Where's your sword?" (laughing) And it was, you know, about 15 years of that. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah, and so no wonder I didn't want to be vulnerable when I was singing. What about you? - For me, it was, I, same thing, like nobody had heard it, except if they had heard it, the thing that I would hear every single time I said my name was, that's a boy's name, you know? Every time I talk to any child. Also, like, even adults would say, other kids would say, they'd just be like, "Billy is a boy's name." But isn't Billy a boy's name? I mean, you know, kids are like little assholes, so they're gonna be like, that's a boy, you know? And that really pissed me off, also because I was like, I really wanted to be everything girly as a kid. Like as a kid, I loved, you know, all the things a little girl loves. I loved my princess things and my pink things and whatever. And so, Billy just didn't make sense. But in hindsight, I mean, first of all, I love my name and I wonder how you feel about your name now? - I like it. I think I grew into it. And I think that's what has to happen with your name sometimes. What is the name that you would have wanted? - I can tell you. - Okay. - Sparkle. (laughing) - I wanted to be named Sparkle, but. - Hey, me too. (laughing) - More realistically, I wanted to be named Violet. Really bad. I really wanted to be named Violet. I wanted to be named Lavender. - Oh wow. - I knew a girl named Flower. Like very specific themes. - Sure. - Oh, also I, my like, this is such a homeschooly vibe, but my mom, when she was pregnant with me, like Phineas was four or three. And he would call the belly, which I was in pirate. You'd be like, "I want pirate to come out." So they had named me pirate, like as if kind of whatever. And they were thinking and considering naming me pirate, O'Connell. (laughing) - Because this, because this child. (laughing) - Pirates of badass pirate. - As a girl, but yes, it would have been a little tough. And also, Bully Central, I feel like. But at the same time, it would have been cool. But I am really glad in hindsight. I'm not named Pirate. That's some LA shit. That is some serious LA homeschooling. - So my name pirate is listening right now? - Yeah, literally. - Sorry, if you're listening right now and your name is Pirate or Sparkle. - But Conan apologies. - Don't you feel like this, 'cause I feel like, there's, first of all, I love my name, and also I can't imagine any other name for myself. I mean, now I just turned it into, I don't know what I did, or, you know, sometimes I think that the name can also help influence you a little bit. And so if it made you feel in any way, when you're really young, if it made you feel a little unbalanced or, I don't really love this, maybe that's a good thing to have if you wanna be artistic when you're early on. So it's possible that these names help us, or we grow into them and they grow into us. And so I wouldn't change anything now. - Yeah. - But I really did go through a number of years where I also wanted jet black hair. Like, you know, I wanted like jet black hair, and I wanted my name to be like. - No, you're gonna say I wanted my name to be jet black. - Well, I would have taken that too. Yeah, that would have been a good name. The name's black, jet black. (laughing) What do you do? - Yeah, I have to say, that's not too cool. Yeah, I would have gone with jet black. - Well, I wanted your name to be. - I don't, I just thought, you know, I used to look at sort of the conventional people that were on television or movies, whether it's, you know, from Elvis movies or Bob Crane from Hogan's Heroes, or like any of these people that have like just black hair and they've got that conventional good looking face. And I was like, that's how I should look. What is this with this crazy reddish-coff? Why do I have this weird name? Why do I have freckles? I hated having freckles, you know? - Oh, come on. - Yeah, true, yeah. I had my two front teeth were dead 'cause I fell in the driveway, and they were dead for what? Like they died, like they turned gray, and my, our dentist was like, - Oh, but they were riding around here. - Well, your other teeth show up. Just leave 'em, so I went around like, "Hi, you look real pretty." I had two gray front teeth. I've got freckles. - Were you also ridiculously tall then, too? - No, no, I got tall super fast. - Well, we didn't have that also. (laughing) - But wait. - But she's really. - But it would be a little. - I love it. - I love it now. - So what? - Yes, but you're famous, and it's like fine. - So I'm like Frankenstein. - You're famous Frankenstein, be happy. - But you don't have the missing front teeth and the weird, you know, hating of yourself. - Well, I still have that. - Okay, fair. But you know. - Fair, you should hate yourself. Thanks for admitting that. - You have a serious gift, which is this height of yours and that you could play a really scary guy. You could play, you could be, stand up. - Okay. (laughing) - This is humiliating. - What are you talking, guy? Look at this one. Look at this. - Oh, what are you about to do? (laughing) - Yeah, great. This is great. - Wait, so what am I. - You're scary. - You could be Frankenstein. - No, you could be Slender Man. (laughing) - Don't you think? - I could see you. - You know Slender Man. - You come in here, you're like, oh, Conan, he's so talented. Oh, really, my humor, my wit. - No, you're freakish, guys. You could be Slender Man. - It's such an opportunity. You have such an amazing opportunity. (laughing) You could be so scary. Dude, dude, dude, you could, it's during October. This year, you should come here. - Right, yeah. - You should wear something spooky and you should scare these people. - Okay, just what I'm gonna do. We're gonna contrive away. I will do it and we just have to figure out a way that I creep up on you in the background as Slender Man. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? We just have to figure that out. We'll do that. - You're play like a skin walker. I mean, your pants are tight, all right? Just get some tighter pants. (laughing) They barely need to be very much tighter. - What are you talking about? (laughing) - Hey, your pants are so tight. - These are tight pants? (laughing) - Are they? - They're very tight. - He wore jeggings once. Maybe he goes back to jeggings. (laughing) The Kardashians dared me to wear jeggings, I think. - Well. - Didn't they? - And I wore jeggings. - You did wear jeggings. - Yeah, that was horrible. (laughing) There's a reason my children don't talk to me. - Oh, God. - Okay, so that's great. What an ego boosts for me. - Yes. - My career is going places, 'cause Billy Irish says I could be Slender Man. (laughing) - Or any freakishly tall monster. - You really could play such a good monster. - For a zombie, and just don't moisturize for a day. And I could play the undead. (laughing) All right, you heard it here first. I'll be showing up at a Halloween theme park near you. - Oh my God. Oh my God. Have you guys been to Halloween Horror Nights by chance? - Yes. - Okay. - Yes. I've done Halloween. - It traumatized me. - Why did it traumatize you? - Why when I was like, I was younger. Did you go recently? - I go every year, girl. - You do? - Of course I go. - Halloween Horror Nights is no joke. Like their legit makeup, the actors are really into it. - They chase you out of a house with a chainsaw. - Yeah. - It's gotten more PG. - Oh, that's right, yeah. - Sorry. It's just not, they don't really chase you like they used to. They kind of just stand there and go running, you know? And that's it. But anyway, if you've gone recently, they do this thing to kind of make it like a more 4D experience where they like pump scent in certain rooms like really gross scent to make you really overwhelmed with the grossness of the, so like if you walk into one of the, you know, rooms during the maze and it's like bunch of sliced up people and whatever and it'll smell like this like rotting - Oh my god. - Purcell smell. It's disgusting. It's amazing. - I like. - But I'm not even gonna, I'm gonna say bless her soul and I'm not gonna put this woman and shout this woman. out, but I was somewhere doing something, and I was with this woman. And she smelled exactly like the whore nice scent. And she kept like, I know this woman, right? And she was leaning over. I was sitting, she was leaning over, and she was, you know, doing things. And I was literally like, and because I'm me, and I don't think really before I say things, I almost was like, you know, you smell exactly like that whore nice scent. Like a rotting cord, bodies. But so yeah, so like, and I was texting everyone else in the room, like doesn't this bitch smell like the rotting cord scent that they spray? I think we can tell people it's Joy Behar from the view. Always smell like rotting me. I love her. I love you Joy. There's no one funnier, but no one will tell her to her face. Wait, is this true? No, no. This is how rumors get started. Yeah, but like the first thing I notice is smell. So if you stink once forever, that's how I will think of you. I took seven baths before you got here. Oh, do you take baths? You can't fit into a bath. No, I don't. I have terrible. I feel terribly about myself now. When did you become a freak? At what age did you become a freak? You can't have a bath. Does the U.S. Army have to make you a bathtub and bring it in with handcuffs? Talking about. No, I do not take a lot of baths because my knees always stick up. I'm insulted and you're right. I'm very short and I have an enormous bath and I can barely fit in the fucking bath. We should trade bathtubs. Let's do it. That's why I believe that's why I brought it up because I cannot fit in my bathtub. So you're not here to promote anything. You're here to find out if my bathtub fit because yours doesn't and mine doesn't and we're going to switch. I'm literally drowning that bitch. These are the problems that you have to face. Do you fit into your bed? Well, my wife is there, too, somewhere. It's a pretty good size bed. You want one of those like shack beds, right? No, I don't have a shack bed. I'm a human being. I don't have a shack bed. One of those things you see in the polka nose, it has a giant heart and it rotates. Every night I put rose petals on it and I go, "Lize them, my dear." She's like, "No." So no, we have like a big bed, but yeah, we fit in our beds and I am allowed to drive a conventional car. I wish it was a Hyundai, but apparently it's not. I want to talk about, you said something else I was reading because I was reading up on you and I was like, "Okay, I want to have some good topics." You were talking about how you really enjoy hanging out, just like hanging out and I was wondering, "What is a good hang for Billy Eilish? What's a good hang for you? What do you like to do if it's you and your friends and you're just hanging out?" I love to go on bike rides so much. Just an electric bike. I'm not doing any kind of working out really with the bikes because also I live in a very hilly area, so it's a lot of up and down. I'm a big believer in e-bikes. I think that's cool. I love an e-bike and I use this company called Super 73, which is these like big bulky. It's amazing. I love going on bike rides. I love going on a dog walk. I love swimming in my pool. I love specifically any kind of activity that you might find at a kid's summer camp. Any kind like on tour will be in the most beautiful place in the world and I'm like, "Can we please go to a water park or can we go to a ropes course or a trampoline farm?" We did a few glass blowing classes and pottery making classes. Well that sounds like. I love activities. You like activities. I like an activity. I don't love that much is playing a game. Sometimes because it triggers some part of my brain that gets worried. If I'm playing a game that I'll misremember the rules or else screw up, I know it's a problem. I need to get over that. Do you like any games or no? That's a good question. This is interesting. No, I don't know. I think I'm just not like games person and people will say to me, "Hey, what's the play this?" I mean, I do games on my own like puzzles or crosswords or things like that. But when it's a group of people and they say, "Hey, let's break out this board game and play." I'm kind of a little phobic about it. I don't know what that is. I'm competitive. My thing is I get competitive. She's crazy. I look like loose friends. Same, but I like that. So that's interesting because I love games and I'm ridiculously competitive, but so you don't like games because you're really competitive. Because I don't know if you just get too real for you. It gets too real. And if anybody on my team is just dragging us down, I just want to. I don't know if they really need that. She's one of those people that just in a blink of an eye sees red and descends into madness. We're talking about games. You're talking about life. I'm just saying. Oh, I was saying you're like a jackal hide, I think you're a murderer. Yeah, I know. What about sport type? Because we play a lot of like pickleball and I get me. I'm very competitive with sports activities. St. No, I'm competitive too. Are you not competitive? I'm competitive. I try and hide. I'm very competitive. I can't play pickleball because I think I'm too tall and this fits into your whole idea that I don't fit in this world. But you got to bend over and like take these different shots. And I think I wasn't meant for this planet. I feel like I feel like you it would help you because you're so tall. I mean, literally we were playing yesterday and Phineas laughed really hard because I and our friend Lucy are both both very short and we were both just playing one on one and he cracked up because he was like, you both are so fucking short that you have to step so many times to get to each side. We have to I have to literally run full speed. He can't short shame you. That's wrong. He sure can. Well, I'm going to talk to him. Yeah. And maybe I'll only lift the ban on Phineas coming in here if he apologizes to you. He's banned. He's banned until he apologizes for mocking you. I know it's time to take care. Thanks. Okay, so let's talk about the movie because the movie's out now. Oh yeah. I have a little note that says when this drops, the movie will have been out for a day. Wow. People sure love the movie. Wink. But hit me hard and soft. This is there's this movie is stunning to me for a couple of reasons. One, you co-directed this with James Cameron. That's insane. To have him direct it is insane. But then to get to be a co-director with this guy is not. It's insane. It was also his idea to have that be the case, which is insane. The way it came about is my mother met him through something else. One day came over and was like, oh, by the way, James Cameron emailed me. Super casual. We have a whole team of people whose job it is. Your mom can get through all this level of people. I mean, it was like, he emailed you? Yeah. Your mom booked you on this podcast. Your team was like, don't you Conan. And then your mom's like, go over to Conan. No, God. So real. But anyway, she was like, yeah, James Cameron emailed me, saying he wanted to like asking if you would be interested in him filming your movie and putting it out as a, or filming your concert and putting it out as a movie in 3D. Like, that was the ask. The not even ask. Like, just like, interesting at all, like at all. And obviously, I thought that's the most insane, unbelievable thought even at all. I was like, what? Yeah. And then I got on the phone with him and we just like talked about it. And what was so special to me, I've filmed concert films before. And they've been amazing. I've done documentaries. It's all amazing. And honestly, it is a lot of work. And I was not planning on doing that for this tour. And the tour was like coming to an end in a few months. And like, I remember feeling like, oh, this is sad that I'm not going to have this show. A document. Yeah. A document. I was really feeling like, oh, that's kind of sad. But also like, what am I going to do? You know, it's, I'm not going to film it. I'm not, there's nothing really. I don't have any ideas for something anyway. So it was kind of perfect. Obviously, it's also an insanely incredible thing and opportunity. But I was also like, fuck yeah, I want to be able to watch this show forever. This is like my favorite show I've ever done. And I was so proud of it and felt just so good up there. And it's just, it was just a really good show. And I'm like, I was so excited. So that's like the beginning of it. And then like, he wanted to co-direct it with me. We met. He came to my show in Australia. And then, um, and one of the, the biggest parts of the process that's been really special to me is I like, when I first started talking to him, I said, very flat out. Like, I have no interest in changing the show at all for this. I don't want to modify anything. I don't want to hear any notes. Like, I love you. You're amazing. But and he, he had like kind of had already Made that clear like he felt the exact same way and I I really was like surprised by that. He was like, no, I don't want to change any more. - He didn't want the concert to hit an iceberg about an hour and a half. He's just, he's stuck in a rut. (laughing) And then he wanted the Nawi people to come in and fight the iceberg. (laughing) But I'm glad you got him off that 'cause he's so stuck. - I know, I know. - He's so stuck, I know. But here's the amazing thing. He always loves to, and he did this with, he made me with Titanic, he did it with the Avatar films. He always likes to bring this new technology to it. And I'm imagining that, I think that's part of what he's doing here is, I would think he would say, like, wait, I've got a camera that I can use, it's never been used. 'Cause I know it's in 3D, but I'm guessing it's not in the 3D that I grew up with. - Probably not. (laughing) - Thank God. (laughing) - It's like, it's pretty insane. Like, and I do remember throughout filming it, he would be like, this technology's never been used before. Like, we were using things that literally, it was the first time they were used, which was such an insane idea. - Yeah. - And to have James Cameron be the one doing that. And also, it was very surreal because we were, you know, on tour, and that's a very normal thing we're all used to being on at this point in the tour. And like, you know, he's like, I wanna film some of your warmup. I'm like, okay. And so I'm like doing the thing I always do. I'm in my room with my, like, I'm wearing like boxers and a t-shirt doing my warmup and getting my ankles taped for the show. And James Cameron himself, alone, with a enormous 3D camera. Literally like this, is walking in himself, and he sits like right here in front of me. And he's asking me the questions, and he's the one standing there. And then there's like four dudes that walk in that are like holding the boom and the lighting. And I just like, it was the most trippy shit in the world. It was just like, what am I looking at? - Like wherever he goes. - Yeah. - He's like, hey James, you can come to our barbecue and then he shows up and he's got a nine-dimensional camera. - He was exactly what you would imagine him looking like, just standing there with a camera on him. (upbeat music) - There's this moment in, and I've had staff members here who are huge fans, 'cause I know it's in the movie, but they've also seen it. They've seen it on the tour and they've talked about it. And I was really intrigued by this because you have this moment where you get, I mean, these are huge shows. You get everyone to be absolutely silent. And that's very riveting to me that, first of all, to have fans that will be involved in the show. Do that is it shows a real, there's a mutual respect. And I think for you to be in an arena that's filled with that many people when I ask everyone to get absolutely quiet and then you create this musical moment with them not saying a word is stunning. And what I love about it is, yes, there's gonna be this great technology and there's gonna be all these amazing angles, but people also, I think, get to see up close what it is you do that is different. I think that's pretty amazing. - Thanks, Conan. That's so well said and nice of you to say. - But that moment, when did you start to realize, okay, I'm gonna go for this, 'cause-- - Well, like you said, when we thought, when we had that idea in the rehearsal period of the tour, I really was like, I do not think this is gonna work, like how am I gonna get the entire room to be silent? And it's not like, you know, somewhat quiet. It has to be like nothing at all because what's happening is in my mic, I am singing one part and then it's looping and I'm singing another part and then that's looping. - You're building it in real time. - You're building it in real time by recording. And so, and also like because I sing not like very loud, the mic is like pretty hot and so it really picks up a lot and there was, there was one time, I don't know where we were. It was honestly one of like five times in the entire 106 show tour of Hit Me Hard and Soft that they weren't quiet. And the only thing that happened was everyone was quiet except this voice. - Billy, get me a blow-dumbs! (laughing) - Oops, see. - That sucks. - Now, I thought it was funny. - No, no, it is, but it's also just-- - But I'm holy shit. - But also I'm thinking-- - And then that was in the loop and so every time, I'm like, ah, Billy, did we record it? (laughing) - No, no, I didn't know I think I picked up by the recording. - It was repeating, it just was repeating over and over. - Well, it was a number one hit. (laughing) - And now the guy's like, where's my money? (laughing) - What a side for me. - I'm blow job Sam. - Oh God, that was literally the only time that really ever happened because their fans are so, and that was just like some guy. - What else do you know that the people around him were like? - Oh, he got completely, I mean, he got shamed by the entire audience. And I think like, this is something about my crowd and my fans that I love so much, which is like their complete devotion and also like their willingness to fight for what they believe in and what they love and me and you know, really defend me. And like the fact that they are all respectful enough to be completely silent for an entire minute while I'm singing and not making any noise, not sing along, not say anything, not want the attention, like it's really, really beautiful. And also like I was so sure it wasn't gonna work out. I've never tried anything like that. - It's scary, I would tell you. - It's so scary. And at the first show we did, we were in Quebec. It was the first show of the entire tour and they were completely silent. And then I was like, okay, well that's the only time that's gonna work. And then fucking work every single time except that one time and a couple times where they were just rowdy and screaming. But pretty much for the most part. And also like the fact that I was asking them to do that is insane, it's an insane request. And I was, well, I think, I think you have this thing. (laughing) Turns out he's like a neurologist. (laughing) - 44 neurologists. - Oh my God. - I actually led the field in cerebral cortex therapy. - He hasn't known that. - What happened? I don't know, I had a tequila, I lost it. - Oh God. But I think that. - No, not for a guy. - Oh, not for a guy, not for a guy. We're gonna find him. He's also banned. He's banned and Phineas has banned. - That's the only two. (laughing) - The only two, yeah. I think it's a tribute to you that your fans, you know, that guy excluded your fans, know you. They know you and they're not knowing this idea of who you are. That's who you are. I mean, that's what I've, the two times you've been here and we're hanging out and I'm refusing to play a game. (laughing) When you're here, I can see that, oh, that's Billy. That's just who you are. And your fans know that. There are a lot of people in your business, who are just show business in general, who, and I see it a lot in comedy, there's people love the idea of them that they've constructed, but that's not really who they are. And so I think that's a credit to you that yes, it can work. There's a lot of people who wouldn't work for it because their fans don't have that relationship with it. So I think it's really amazing. I think it's cool. And also, the whole concept of so much of show business, especially in comedy and in music is make noise and keep the noise going and people are afraid of, I gotta keep the energy up. We gotta keep it going and that's so much of it that for someone to come out and say okay, everyone be absolutely silent. I'm gonna try something is very unusual. - I know. And they really play along, which I find so beautiful and also really surprising. And they're like that throughout the show too. Like they're so, so willing and up for anything that I want them to do. And they, it's just, it's just amazing. They are so wonderful. And I do think like, you know, what you just said about me being me and that's who they know. It's like, it's true. I think like, I kind of attribute that to starting out at as 13, you know? And being the person I was already, which is like always very honest and bold and like says anything kind of, I was already like that. So I didn't think anything, I didn't think to do anything else and I was so young, I was just like saying anything all the time and being myself. Like I didn't know who else to be. - Yeah. And like I, even when I kind of like sometimes wish that I maybe hadn't shared so much of who I am, I am really glad that I did. And also, and that I do because one of my main goals, and I talk about this in the film a little bit, but like I can't stress it enough that like one of my main goals as starting out was that I wanted to be the artist that I, that I would want to be a fan of. And that's because I am a fan. I'm a huge fan and I always have been and I've always been a super fan not just like oh I like artists and I like the whatever it was like posters and merch and you know if I could have gone to a concert I would have and I couldn't because you know I couldn't afford it, but it was like merch concerts or Merch No, but now you're banned And now that you hurt you're out what the hell I was saying, but I was gonna say that I like If there's one piece of advice that I can give like younger artists or new artists and the thing that I have Given to people like if anyone's starting out asks me which has only happened a few times like what I would say my One piece of advice actually to is like play smaller venues than you think you should right or then people are telling you to and Get a serious serious connection to your fans and be your fans Family like that is the number one thing in my career that I will always keep number one in the priority list and like it's all that's it that's all that started and cuz it was me I was like saw myself in these kids and Wanted to do everything that I when I was 12 used to think like oh My god, I why can't my favorite artists do this and why why can't they make it easier for us to see this, you know And so I've really strived to be that for them and like be reachable and feel like they feel like we are One and like they don't feel separated from me and like I don't want to be Known by them or know them, you know like I want them to feel like we are friends and that if I'm out in the world You know and like be respectful of course, but but but like when I'm out in the world and I make eye contact with someone Like this has happened before and they just like Smile at me and I smile at them and they run up to me and we hug like that has happened before because It's just the connection is just there. We don't have to say anything. We just like and and you don't have to be afraid of me You know that you know There's a there's a part of the movie where you're talking about because you're very tactile you're you go out you you're touching a lot of the fans and you get scratches on your hands From your fans just because they're so excited to Lay hands on you and you're willing to do that and I'm thinking it's it's not great that you're getting scratched up But at the same time you're letting them know it's real right like this isn't an act. I'm not a hologram image that's been projected. I really This is who I am. This is what I care about you guys are part of my crew and we're in on this together Yeah, which is I I mean I've always felt that's the way it has to be even though I work in a completely different world I think I look for any opportunity to let people out in the world know that like it or not for good or ill This is who I am. Yeah And such a great quality, but I mean that's I think really Really key. I don't know you know there might come a day where you're like enough with the scratching of the hands, you know But yes, it's it can be a lot I mean also because it's like the trajectory of things has gotten so much better over the years that at this point It's not only fans in the crowd Sometimes like it's sometimes it's a little bit like it can be a little bit dangerous Yeah, but the thing is like I don't want to be out of reach like physically and you know Mentally like I want I want them to feel like I am right there with them And so it's like it's it's a hard balance because for a long time it was pretty easy to do that like I when I was first doing shows Every single show no matter what I would get off stage walk straight into the audience and meet every single person in the room And like take pictures with everyone talk to everyone and sign anything like I never it would take hours and hours And it would be like hundreds of people and it was like not paid. It was nothing. I just I wanted to meet everyone Well, it's also it's staying true that that's a real connection right it doesn't have to be recorded right no one has to see it right you know It's real they know it's real and that's Responsible for so much. That's a big part of everything. It's happened for you. I know it's I mean it's hard to explain that to people that That used to get when you first started working with me You would get upset that I would hang out in the crowd so long afterwards or was it safe when they get crazy? I mean, I'm sure there's been some situations for you where it's been hairy. It's the same for you It's it's can get scary for the people around you who love you who care about you who want you to be safe It can get old and nuts. And I'm acknowledging right now Whatever I've gone through Billy has that times a million Because it's a very different Connection, I mean people it's so what I've experienced is people get really excited, but They they really like some goofy video that I made 28 years ago Which is nice. I really love that but You have to walk that line now where you can't walk into the arena and sang and I hang with all of you for 15 days And get and so yeah It's been hard to figure out how to have the connection with them, but not completely It's fun because in the movie there's a part where you're like literally seeing your fans that are camped out and you're behind a window and you're banging on the glass And I can relate to your excited to bond with them So you're trying to you're trying to let them and they're so excited that you're banging on a window and they can see you and you can see them It's just nice. I mean people always try and pretend that this is More complicated than it is. It's really simple. The reason you started doing this is you wanted you had something that you wanted to share with people and you wanted that connection and it's real And now you can change the scale of it. You can have James Cameron, you can have futuristic cameras. You can have 15 million people coming to a concert and 8 billion downloads. It's still the same thing. Right. The scale change, but it's the same thing. Right And it's also like with that exact idea. It's like You can have boundaries also it's like you don't have to I think I used to give my So much of myself to that that like I kind of hit a wall where I felt like I lost part of myself a little bit because I've given so much of it to Them and as much as I loved doing it. I was like, whoa, this is like really affecting me and I Yeah, it's and also like again when it got to a larger scale It got a little less human somehow like people started right treating me less like a human Um, which I get it's like seeing big big big bear big foot So big foot Listen, no food in my body. Just one coffee and SS. All right. Don't worry about it Anyway, hey, but this is real man. This is you Aye, aye, aye, but I mean that's uh Yeah, that's what's one of the things too that um, I see it in comedy people get obsessed with I played in arena and I think I don't know what doesn't look fun Like yeah, I like it. There's a certain magical size where and I think it's it's obviously very different in music You can you music is quite different and I think sometimes comedians get confused a little bit because they think I want to be a rock star comedian And obviously some of them can do it brilliantly I think Kevin Hart can do it brilliantly and Eddie Murphy. There's different people that can go into an arena and they're fantastic and then I always think for a lot of us there's just the right size, you know, which can be Uh, you know, okay 1500 people or something like that, but once it starts to get to be more than that It's hard to feel close. Yeah, it's hard to feel close and I do think music is better On a larger scale then then just saying shit, you know Yeah, I think so yeah, I get what you mean though because I had the same kind of feeling for many years I was like I don't want to play arenas because then I'm gonna be far away from everyone and not feel like it's intimate at all I feel like for comedy it's like different because You're standing there talking to them. So it's like Really a harder thing on a larger scale you start to lose like this if it gets really big Yeah, and I'm not one of those kinds of comedians, but I think that you might at some point lose that That spark of immediacy right if the scale gets too big Um, and again, there are special people that can really do it beautifully. Yeah, and I think I'm always craving You know Sometimes when I see that the venue is really big. I'm like, uh, I don't know if I'm gonna have that same conversational Uh thing going, but again, it's very different in music and I think um all comics wish They were rock stars. They just do and me included. We all wish We all with we all look at music and we all Kind of try and pretend that that's what we are and we're not and then occasionally I'll meet these like iconic musicians who are like, well, I really wish I could be to have a talk show and I'm like Really? You want to you want to wrap it up without roker and go to a commercial? Um, no, I really do um But uh, well, I'm really excited for you Hit me hard and soft, uh, and this is co-directed with you James Cameron. That's insane Just madness because I have offered him a co-directing thing with me many times. Yeah, and he's so far, no call back. So maybe he's banned, too, from the bud. I'm going to say that I have great admiration for you as an artist, but I feel a real connection to you as a person. I'm really proud of you. It's just a weird thing to say, but I feel like, you're probably your dad's age or something. But I have this pride in like, "Well, Billy is doing a good job." It's like, "Well, who am I to take any other than I wrote that big song for you?" Great. You did. I did. Yeah, you did. I'm pretty much most half your catalog easily with things like, "Wow." I'm just saying, and we're going to settle this out of court. I love the judge asking for any proof. I'm pretty sure she said, and then he said, "You're just doing good." No, I'm very happy for you. I'm very proud of you. You're welcome here any time. Phineas is welcome here any time. Give my best to your folks, and I just, you're a huge deal. So you coming in and just sharing your talent and your wit and just your spirit with us is a really cool thing. Thank you so much. I love coming here so much. I will literally come back as many times as you want. Well, we have a funnel. We have a Hyundai and a Badez sponsorship now. Who's Billy Irish for their Lux Badez? Hi, guys. But you've had a huge meal. But I thank you for saying all of that. It's unnecessary. It means so much to me. You guys are all awesome. I love the vibe in here. And the other day that I just, I live to laugh. And I love when I meet people that live to laugh. You know, just amazing. I hate people that don't laugh. Just so fucking, can you imagine? I hate when people don't laugh because it means I don't get paid. Oh my God. And that's it. No, that is my language. Like when people don't laugh, I'm like, "Oh, I guess I don't have a reason to live anymore." But it's so wonderful in here that all these people are just, we're all just laughing. It's amazing. God. It's just what life is about. But thank you for having me. Yeah, it was a big, we really, it was a big, it was really big of us to have you. I'm just gonna say, and you probably didn't see that. No, it was-- I thought you were in a compliment, Billy. I was like, I don't know. I did say it. She's still in the business. I mean, how's it going for her? If you were like, "What are you talking about?" And I was like, "I don't know. I pretty much know what's going on with young people." Yeah, I don't think she's doing so good. I'm an idiot, but thank you for being here and say hey to your gang for me. I will. We all love you so much, and I feel the same. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Cessian, and Mack Gourley, produced by me, Mack Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo, theme song by The White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com/Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs A Friend, wherever Fine Podcasts are downloaded.