136: BIG SUMMER BLOWOUT

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Welcome back to the fucking Broski Nation Asylum. We're all mad here. Welcome back to the Broski Nation fucking Alice in Wonderland fucking a very, very unbathed day to you, to you. A very, very unbathed day to you, to me, to me, to you. Low-chunqueenly, it's not, it's not really the moment right now, okay? Body chopped. Face chopped. Chopped cheese. You smell like chopped cheese, okay? I feel, I feel fucking crazy. Is anyone else, like, is anyone else on my FM radio? Radio frequency right now? There is so much always happening, okay? So I just kind of wanted to say that low-chunqueenly because not only do I feel like the body and the face is not tea, it is mulch, body mulch, and it's got maggots, bitch. Like, I don't feel corporeal, right? Right? I don't feel like, um, my flesh sack is reflective of what's happening in my, in my mental membrane. So just to put that out there. Anyway, how are you guys? How the hell, how the hell are you guys, seriously? You didn't even compliment my nails. I'm, I'm still doing my Nosferatu nails. You will have jail extensions. Hey. You will have to get. You will have to get them filled once every three weeks. God, Nosferatu is so good. I could have done Bill Skarsgård. Bill Skarsgård could not do me, bitch. I could do Bill Skarsgård. That's him, right? That's Bill. Bill did, Bill did Nosferatu. Right? Nosferatu. Nosferatu. I love that he's, like, tall and kind of spooky looking, and everyone's like, you're the fucking monster. You, you, you. We have our monster. Yeah, it's Bill. It's Billy. Um, yeah, dude. I, and something crazy is happening in my lower gut right now that it wouldn't be the first or last time that I've paused a podcast recording to go take a shit. So, oh, it might just be gas. Shitting myself on camera, not clickbait. Okay. Guys, lots to discuss. I have been doing a lot of reflecting. This time period of my life, I don't know if anyone else in their late 20s about to, you know, tip over the edge into their 30s is feeling what I'm feeling. And you know what I fucking found out? Bitch, you know what I found out? I was doing all my tarot. I was texting my friends. Like, does anyone else feel like they're going fucking insane? Like, actually insane? Found out, Saturn return. It's my Saturn return. My Saturn is an Aries. I think that's what it is. I don't know. Annabelle told me. And I said, Oh my God, I literally have to go have diarrhea. Hey, I literally am going to go have diarrhea. I'll be right back. Welcome back. And that was a message to me because, wow, I needed to bottom out. I needed to go bottom out really quick. And that's exactly what I did. So I'm back. I'm about two and a half pounds lighter. Hey. All right, guys. Let's lock in. Let's get serious. Okay. Like I've been saying, I'm in my Saturn return. Okay. This means a huge period of like upheaval and kind of coming to terms with like, to put it very bluntly and plainly, I have no work-life balance. All I do is work. All I do is think about it. All I do is think about content creation and this and that and views and titles and engagement and fucking who's going to be on that. It has eclipsed other areas of my life that actually feed my ability to do this job. I can't come on this podcast every week and like give you a perspective on something or something I've been loving or something that I was thinking about recently. Because I am so bone dry. Like I am truly so burnt out. I am not living. Everything that I'm doing is just output, output, output, output, output. And I'm sitting at home and I'm like, I have nothing to say. And I feel like it is such a privilege to have y'all's ear, to have your attention, your loyalty, the fact that you tune in every week and you look forward to what I have to say. I feel like I'm letting you down because I have nothing to say because I'm not living. There is nothing coming in on that side of my life. And that feels weird to say because I have so many exciting work things. And, you know, but I feel like even for me and my job and my life, sometimes it's like I don't want to just talk about celebrities all the time. And I love my show. Like I love what Royal Court has managed to accomplish and what it continues to accomplish, which is connecting with these people heart to heart and humor to humor and, you know, expanding the humanity that's behind this cold, hard shell of a celebrity. That is a fun point for me in my life. Everything else is it feels like I am playing a character. And the character is. Draining the life out of me. With that being said, and with also the knowledge that it is my Saturn return and all of these things are kind of constantly swirling in my mind and like, you know, having an audience and then like this other invisible third party that's like potential sponsors or like industry people watching your every move or like, are you a good fit for this? Are you a what? It's just like. Through all the noise. And I'm not going to cry. I told him I'm not going to cry during this episode. Through all of the noise. I have felt a bit like I am losing. I can't hear my own voice. Do you know what I mean? And I've felt that way for a while. And I've been trying to power through because I owe it to you guys and I love you guys. And of course, I know how fucking stupid, how stupid as fuck this. Sounds right. Like me coming on the podcast, being like, like, actually shut the fuck up. There are so many more important things happening, but I feel like to be a force for good and a force of joy and of laughter and of connectivity and humanity and empathy and kindness. I need to take a step back. I need to have a summer break. And I think it's a net positive for. Everyone and everything that's involved in my existence and, you know, anyone that I've ever reached or touched, like I am not pouring into myself. I am pouring all of my juices into all these different cups and there is nothing left in my pitcher. So I am going to take a summer break. Hear me when I say this. A summer break. And then I will be. The right bat right as rain for spooky season. Understood. I am not going anywhere. The podcast is not going away. It's not ending. I'm not going to end it and bring it back with a co-host. I'm not going to do the fuckery. OK, I genuinely just need a few months off of not working on anything. I want to embroider. I want to write a gothic novella. I want to finish the fucking bullshit album. Music that I've been doing. I want to finish all these creative projects that I feel like because I say yes to everything and because I want to be, you know, a good little Hollywood starlet. I just can't like there is a thin line between Brittany Broski and Brittany Tomlinson, and I need to solidify that line and that boundary. So that's what I will be doing over the summer. I will be reconnecting with myself. I will be. Reading and writing, and I will be not on my fucking cell phone. And it's just a reset that I really feel culturally is happening for a lot of people. A lot of people switching to dumb phones and setting app limits and going back to tangible physical media and the AI fatigue and just we crave feet in the sand. You know what I mean? Toes in the water. ass in the sand. That's what the people yearn for. four. So I will be taking my summer break to have new experiences, to absorb new perspectives, to live a little. I'm going to start riding a bike. I am going to go visit my friends in different states and have them come here. And I want nothing out of it. I don't want content. I don't want a YouTube video. I don't want to collab. I want to just see my friends and I don't want to be on my phone while I'm doing it. All of these things and moments in the last year, like this has truly been the most incredible past 365 days of my life. And I truly thought like after I met Harry Styles one night only in 2022, bitch, I genuinely was like, I'm getting this day tattooed. I'm getting this day tattooed. Nothing cooler that will ever happen than this right now. It's just exponentially gotten better. Like every year is just, and so how can that be happening? And I'm like empty. Like I am such an Ariana Grande stan. And I remember her saying this one year where she was like career wise, like she won some award and she was like career wise, this is the best year of my life. Personal life wise, it's the lowest I've ever been. And it's amazing how that always tends to happen, right? Like when your career takes off, you leave nothing for yourself. And when you're living for yourself, it's unemployed, jobless behavior. So like, where is that balance? In a capitalist fucking like postmodern society. And I'm trying to find it. Okay. And I will not find it and I will not find it to perfection, but I can sure as fuck find it. Try. So that's what I'm in Sika. That's what I will be doing this summer. And I also like in terms of the show, as in the Broski report, I want to keep doing this for a really long time. And as long as y'all are rocking with me, I'll keep doing it. But if I want to keep doing it and invest in the longevity of the show, I want to take you with me on all of these strange, you know, pockets that I sink into sometimes. Because so is life. So is the joy and the journey of womanhood, of growing up, of going from a teenager to a young adolescent, to an adult, to a 30 year old, you know, like I am on that cusp right now and I am finding it incredibly difficult. This transition is incredibly difficult. So how do you hold up the mirror and say, these are things I am not proud of. These are things I love about myself. These are qualities that I want to amp up. These are qualities I want to tone down. Like I really am at a point where I'm like, I just, I owe it to myself because I am so beholden. It feels like, you know, this is therapy session now. I feel so beholden to other people, to industry people, to advertisers, to, you know, always watching. Everyone's always watching. And that has taken kind of more of a mental toll than I'm willing to admit. So I will be going back to therapy. I will be going back to therapy. Thank you for asking. Yes. And I will be taking my summer break. Summer, summer, summer, summer from Haskell musical when they're all counting down and then the clock goes. Anyway, long story short, I'm going to be going back to therapy. I'm going to be going back to therapy. I'm going to see you back here in September for spooky season. And we're going to get real gothic with it. I'm going to come back and I'm going to be one of those steampunk Victorian, like, you know what I'm like, top hat with the cyborg guy and the corset and the fucking Victorian boot. You know what I'm talking about? Put it up here. That's what I'm going to be. And I'm going to find a convention and I'm going to fucking go and I'm going to sell my embroidered trinkets. I'm going to sell my embroidered trinkets. And what are those things that used to hang from a chat chat Elaine that used to hang from Victorian belts where they would like put their favorite shit on it? Have you all ever seen these? A Victorian chat Elaine is an ornamental belt hook or clasp worn at the waist featuring suspended chains, holding functional household tools popular from the early 1800s to World War I acting as a portable pocket for women. It typically carried keys, scissors, sewing tools, watches, notebooks, symbolizing a mistress's household authority. Okay. Well, I didn't know it was fucking rooted in misogyny. Okay. I didn't know it was rooted in fucking gender roles. Classic. I thought it was more for like fun shit. Like you can put teeth and stuff. You can put like teeth and like hair and I don't know, like rocks, any cool rocks you find. Yeah. I'd put some crazy shit on my chat Elaine. Like look at all these fun little compartments. Are you kidding? Okay. One would be a lighter. One would be a hairbrush. One would be a mirror. One would be a Charlotte Tilbury translucent powder. The other would be a powder puff. Another one would be probably just like a pen that has a highlighter on the other end. And then another one would be a tiny little notebook. Then another one would be a tiny little copy of my favorite book just in case I'm bored. Like I'm at the train station. I'm like, oh, and then I can, oh, and another one. Little glasses. Like, bitch, this is so smart. We need to bring this back. And when you walk into this is so fun and whimsical. I'm going to, we have to bring back chat Elaine's also bitch. Listen to this. I've been very, very, very, very, very into watching Jonathan Anderson's interviews. Okay. He does a lot of sit down in like in conversation with he did a conversation with Bella Freud, which I really enjoyed. He did a conversation with this other white guy. And he talks a lot about his work-life balance and how he's a type of person where there's a point to this story. He's the type of person where collaboration is deeply important to him. I am too. He's also the type of person where like finding solutions is the joy to him. Like working in fashion, obviously in this constant state of chaos and deadlines and trying to please, right? The whole purpose is staying true to yourself as an artist, as a creative, but also trying to please, trying to make garments that are wearable and buyable, but also serves this, you know, couture women's kind of, you know, forward thinking, but honoring the tradition of the house. Like, oh, I'm going to wear this. I'm going to wear this. I'm just such a, I really sympathize with kind of his, what has been placed upon him. And he is fully capable. Like I think Jonathan Anderson is a fucking genius and an artist. And I need to start thinking of myself the same way. You know, we're all artists. We're all creatives. And it's just about how much, how much agency you give that side of yourself and how much trust you put in that side of yourself. So anyway, he was talking about, um, not he was talking about, but just in the vein of Dior, the bustle is so back. The fucking bustle, the Victorian bustle is back. The, which of course I have to say, as much as like me personally, I can look back on Victorian fashion and say, wow, like everything was so intricately, beautifully designed, tailored. Um, the silhouettes are so fun. And so exaggerated and even things down to like the little hats, like the little fascinator hats with the hat pins, those could double as weapons. You know, like all these things are, they're both, what I love about Victorian society is they are both functional and beautiful. We lost that somewhere in the mix, walk down the Thames, walk down the Seine, every lamppost down the river is so beautifully, and like ornately designed and it serves a functional purpose, right? Like they're also in London, um, the great stink of London, right? In 1830, whatever, when it was the industrial revolution and there were factories everywhere and people were throwing their shit on the side of the road, literally heaping up into piles, shit, garbage, horse shit, just like nasty. They were like, we have to do something about this. That's when the sewers, underground sewers were invented. All the stink moved underground. The gases that were being released from moving all that sewage underground lit the lampposts. Bitch, it's genius. So like, and the lampposts are genius. The sewers, the Victorian sewers were beautiful. Like I just have such a regard for that approach to life, you know, that approach to living. Just because we have to do this doesn't mean it can't be beautiful versus today when everything's about cutting costs and the cheapest, you know, labor and the cheapest materials and the the intention of it breaking within five years so you can pay to get a new one or pay to have it replaced or pay to have someone come out and fix it. Everything is just worse now, and everything is lesser quality. And I yearn, I yearn for the times previous, while at the same time, I relish the fact that we've never had it more cushy, you know, between ice cubes at our disposal, cold water, air conditioning, heaters, like little things like plumbing. And, you know, these were not always, I think we just take them for granted way too often, especially like I'm from Texas living in the San Francisco area. I'm from the San Francisco area. I'm from the San That area would not be inhabitable. It would not be inhabitable without air conditioning. Like it truly is punishing heat. It is life-threatening heat sometimes. So yeah, I'm just like, wow. I think that also what I love about the Victorian era and kind of admiring it is it helps, it lets you admire your own time period a bit more. And yeah, so I'm just, I forget what I was, oh, the bustle. Your bustle. Okay. So if we're going to talk about the bustle, which a bustle is the exaggerated fabric and ruching and gathering at the back of a dress to make it look like you have a big bunda. Okay. But at the same time, it would snatch the waist in such a way. And usually there was like a overcoat that was very fitted and the waist was tiny. And then, you know, you have these, the huge skirts at the bottom. Um, with the big hair and the hat. I mean, it's just fabulous. It's fabulous. However, while I can look at that time period of fashion and say, wow, this is really, you know, ornate and really well-tailored and beautiful to look at, the origins of it are of course rooted in desensitized, dehumanized racism and the white man's obsession with a black woman's body. The bustle really was inspired by Sarah Bartman and the way that these colonizers would look at the curves, the natural curves of a black woman and fetishize it. And so white women always trying to, you know, compete, fabricated that body type through the bustle, through, you know, the cinching of the waist through all these things. And that's a deep, dark, history of, you know, so many things. It is appalling. So many things have a similar history where, you know, well, we come to recognize it. Oh yeah, that's of the time. That's whatever. But like, why, why was that the fashion standard? White women and white people in general have always cherry picked black culture, black bodies to suit themselves. And they toss away the other things that they don't particularly care for. Or, you know, that they're not interested in. And it is this separation that ultimately is like a commodification of black culture, of black bodies. And it's a horrible, horrific history to go down, but it happened and it is the history of why this fashion was this way. So while yes, love the dress, that's the history. And so you have to grapple with both, you know, so just thought, it was worth mentioning Sarah Bartman. In the spirit of being intentional with my consumption and being engaged with what I'm watching. And if I'm not engaged with what I'm watching, turning it off and no more of this, like numbing of, you know, I have gossip girl on the TV and I'm also listening to music and I'm on Pinterest. Like I'm not, there is no need. That is not an intentional, mindful use of my time. And I wanted to tell you that. I wanted to tell you that. Some channels, which by channels, I mean reels creators. Bitch, I'm on reels. I'm scrolling reels in a way that's much more like mature and educated and erudite than most reels users. Okay. And is there some AI slop on there? Yeah, there is because it's unavoidable. But through all the garbage on and beautiful people and beautiful messages. And I found one to British guy. Okay. But not his fault. He was born that way. He, his name's Jono. Jono. What's his last name? Darity Verity. Jono Verity. Look him up on Instagram and TikTok. He does these incredible biking videos where he'll get up at the crack of dawn, like three or four, and he'll go out on his bike and no one is in London. He will ride around the ghost town of London. I mean, it literally looks like COVID era cities. Like he's biking around London and he's always gossip bullshit to say, but it's the most inspiring, like not on purpose. He's just kind of talking about what's going through his head or, you know, why he loves being up that early and his approach to life. And he's appreciation for moving your body while you, through your aging process and how getting up and making a routine out of it is it keeps him limber. It keeps his mind aware. It makes him appreciate the sunrise and, you know, everyone living their little lives. He gets to see the inner functionings and working the cogs in the machine of the city of London. He's become friends with the guy who manages the gas lamps. Remember I was talking about the, the sewers underneath London, like it's still kind of works. And so there are these technicians who I think every day or every couple of days will come and just monitor all the, the lampposts, the beautiful lampposts around London. And he, John, John made friends with one of the guys and I got a beautiful history of like the sewers of London. It's just that like, he has such a passion about life that is insatiable. That is, um, it's contagious. And so one night I w I've been, you know, spiraling. I've been kind of having a minty bay and I found his account and I was just crying. I was just crying watching his videos. Cause I was like, this is what I'm not going to cry. This is what I want to return to this thing that I'm always talking about. This, this intangible, just like, I am so happy to be alive. And there are these little moments that make it worth it. Like bird song or the sunrise, or, you know, a bike ride with friends or a nice meal. It's just like these small things, living slow. Everything is so fucking fast paced. We're rushing. We're going to do this. And then I got to fucking go, go, go, go, go, go. Slow is a, a lost art and I am trying to refine it. So filling my feed with creators like him and messages similar to his book content, slow living, unwinding Tai Chi. Like I want to do these things. I've given up caffeine, bitch. I'm off the Red Bull. And do I have horrible brain fog? And does my brain not work? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Half the time. And am I so exhausted? I need to nap during the day. Yeah. But I think caffeine takes nine days to get out of your system. And I'm about five days through that. So it's tough, but like, I can't keep abusing my body in this way and thinking that like, first of all, I'm going to age well. And second of all, it's not taking a toll. You know, I am not walking. I do bar method, but that's 45 minutes. What? Once a week. Cause I travel so much. I'm never here. Like I'm just going, going, going, going, always on, always doing this, never actually moving with purpose and intention. In fact, I avoided at all costs because I'm so mentally exhausted. I just want to lay in bed and doom scroll. I refuse. I refuse to resign myself to that fate. I did not sign up for that fate. I have a bit more of a fucking spine and agency in my life than to lay in my bed and look at my phone for 12 hours a day. Oh my fucking God. Like that is not the point of all this. And I'm at this point where I am getting mad at myself. I'm getting frustrated at myself. Similar to when I broke up with the dickhead last year, I'm mad at myself that I put myself in that situation. Right. But you have to hit that brick wall head on and shatter a few teeth before you're like, let me climb. Right. Like, with everything in life, I have to climb the brick wall, but on the other side awaits the sunset and Squidward's. heaven village. Okay. Where they're all in the Squidward homes. That's what awaits me on the other side. What's that Chris Fleming clip for these? Like, why don't you have a podcast? And he said, because I believe that something waits for me in the divine for having resisted. That's how, that's literally what it is. Something waits for me on the other side and I am determined to go find it. So yeah, dude, John O'Varity, go give him a look. I also found this other girl. I think she's, she is Slavic, but she lives in Italy and speaks like four languages and she's a ballerina. You guessed it. Her name is Almara Muse. Love her on reels. Love that bitch on reels. She is so cunted. Bitch, I don't know where she gets her money. I don't know where her money comes from, but she's so cunted. She goes grocery shopping and she'll be like, tomatoes on the vine, a slab of salmon, some time and bread. Buys it all, puts it in her Birkin. Hey, who are you? Puts all that shit in her Birkin. Comes home, slams her Birkin on the counter, takes shit out, makes dinner, like does her night routine, does whatever, wakes up in the morning, shows us her routine. She does and then she always puts on a cute ass outfit and she'll do little like half fingerless gloves, lace fingerless gloves with the fucking red lipstick and the bullshit. She'll wear a dress and like fur and she'll go to a coffee shop, do her little, and sure, is some of it performative for Instagram? Yeah, probably. But then she drives herself in her stick shift convertible to ballet and she does a full ballet class and then she goes home and I'm like, I, I, yeah, last night. Actually, this is kind of mortifying, but I, I don't care because life is all about trying things and failing and experiencing it. Okay. Last night I was like, I need to figure out what the fuck these ballet moves are. I need to figure out what the fuck a tendu is now. A pas de bourree, pas de what's it called? When you lift your leg up like this and then you do this and then you do another one where you do. Do it like this and then up, but then the grand battement, grand battement, grand plie. Okay. All the different positions. I looked up, um, dictionary of ballet terms and this wonderful Australian woman had taught me some, and I tried to do it because I bought a bar for my house. I bought a little mini bar method bar with all the bullshit. Cause sometimes I do it at home. Not as often as I need to, like I need to be, my goal for myself is to do bar method four times a week. And I think I will actually do it four times a week. You start seeing a change in my body right now. It's enough of a challenge, but like, I'll do it once a week, rip all my muscles open and then not do it. So like, what's the, you know, then I won't do it for two weeks. Like my relationship with it right now is a very, uh, inconsistent and honestly not, it's not doing much and I'm paying for it. So it's like, I need to get my money's worth. Um, anyway, I did all these. Okay. So I sat, I stood at the bar and I did the shit bitch, even like do one. I was like, ow, damn. Ow. I was also sore. Cause I just did bar method the previous day. So like a bar method is a complete full body workout. You start with arms, then you move to thighs, then you move to your obliques and you move to your seat and you move to your calves. Then you do your abs. Then you, after every single exercise you stretch, which I really, really enjoy because it's like, you're working out those areas so hard. It fucking burns. It hurts like your thighs, but love seeing a toned thigh, especially on a woman like, yeah, bitch. So I stood there and I tried and I was like, this is a whole vocabulary in a different, in a foreign language that you have to learn to properly execute the combinations and the, this and the whatever. And then there is usually in a ballet class, depending on the school, um, a live pianist playing the pieces that you are dancing to, which just adds this other element of like, it's just so magical. I don't know. Like so many people, so many people coming together to combine centuries of knowledge to create and bring to life art and art form that is entirely collaborative. Um, it just, it makes me cry. So yeah, last night I was like, I have such a deep, deep, deep respect for, um, what this art form is. Let me try it. And bitch, I was embarrassed how hard it was. It was hard, but it makes me love it even more. It makes me love it even more. Okay. Um, I also love Tony Bravo on Tik TOK. She's gotten me into tinned fish and I don't know if I like it. I don't know if I like it. And that's the fun part. It's cause I'm like, she makes it look so good and I make it and I'm like, yeah, it tastes good. It's really good. I have to dress that shit up. I tried sardines for the first time. I had to dress that shit up. She puts like onion powder, garlic. I used garlic salt. She puts chili powder, paprika, salt, pepper, lemon juice, thyme, uh, dill. She puts all this bullshit on it and then hot sauce. Then you put it on a cracker with a banana pepper. Hey, that's delicious until you see the spine until you see the sardine spine. And then I'm like, I don't, but it tastes good. Cause it's meat. I don't know. I'm trying to, I'm growing up. I'm trying 10 fish. So those three creators, I really am like, wow, they make me excited to be alive and like try new things. Let's do a quick, what I've been doing lately in this like fetal futile attempt to, uh, rejuvenate my spirit. And my mind, I finished Lord of the Flies. Um, my Goodreads review was very like, this is such a case study in human nature. I think of how quickly, how quickly it turns to violence, how quickly it turns to disarray and lack of respect for authority, how we need established rules. We need systems of shame. We need systems of consequence for a functional, respectful society. And when you have people who go rogue and there are no consequences, this is inevitably what happens. And it's so interesting, this concept of like taking a young generation who has just a taste of what it feels like to follow rules, to exist within an order and then throw them somewhere where they're not tethered to that reality enough to re re, um, invent it, you know, to take it and, um, teach it and practice it. So it gets thrown out the window, but then that's what's tethering them to their humanity. And towards the end of the book, oh my God, the ending was so fucking gag. I'm not going to ruin it. If no one's, if no one's read Lord of the Flies, I really would encourage you to, it's a short read. Um, so much to be gleaned from it about, you know, innocence and about the structure of society and, um, empathy and care. For one another and those less fortunate than you, those younger than you, those who need protecting. And, um, yeah, the end I said, oh my God. Cause then you quickly realize they're still just little boys. They're little boys. And this, there's some real adult shit that happens in that book, but they're just little boys. And I don't think they understand. And that's what makes them like freak out. They don't understand the gravity, the situation they're in. So yeah, the end I was like, you fucker. Oh my God. Really enjoyed it. I think I gave it like a 3.75, four. I think I gave it a four. Um, I started a night, a night in the moth, the night and the moth by Rachel Gillig. Now, if you will remember Rachel Gillig wrote one dark window and it's sequel, uh, two twisted crowns. I loved that the shepherd King books. I really liked the first one. The second one was kind of a, eh, it was okay for me. I enjoy her writing. I think if I'm not making this up, she's a professor. I'm probably lying. I love her approach to the magic systems, to the societies, to the protagonists. Like she always writes the fuck out of a strong female lead. Um, and a, a sweet, deeply compassionate hard shell, you know, inside love interest. So I haven't read romantic scene in a really long time. You know, I've been on my Gothic shit. This was a, I only picked this up because it was sold to me as a Gothic romantic scene, which yeah, it, it definitely, it definitely is. It has to do with cathedrals and gargoyles and this and that, and like omens. And it is, it is pretty Gothic, but, uh, not in, in what I was looking for in this kind of like, I don't know, because Gothic has such a vague meaning. It's not exactly what I was looking for, but I was pleasantly surprised. And, uh, let me say something really quick. There is a smut scene in this book that like, bitch, I'm, I turned 29 in a month. I'm not going to come on here and be like, I am now reading these smut scenes from a perspective. And this is why I deeply love what Rachel does. She writes it from such a place of like tenderness and complete trust. And it is something that is so like, it's the heart, it's the beating heart of what it is to be human. I think like to be, to see and be seen, to feel and be felt, to connect and to be seen so fully and wholly and completely that you allow yourself to become undone. That is what she, she touches. And she is so successful in it. And I genuinely, I was reading the sex scene, like crying because it was so beautiful. And the lead up to it was so well done. It wasn't this rush kind of brash, you know, fourth wing felt a bit like, oh, they're fucking already. Oh my God. And then the way that they would fuck in the second book, I was like, oh my God, like, okay, okay. This was like, honestly, the complete antithesis to that. It was, so safe. It was so safe and it was so vulnerable. And there are so many elements that she's injected into it with her magic system and whatever that make it all the more like earth shattering. You know, it was just so well done. And I just, anyone who ever shits on romantasy or on smut doesn't get it. And they're deeply misogynistic and I will die on that hill. If you think it's funny to make fun of the things that women, majority of women enjoy, you're a misogynist. Like I, what's there to make fun of? The fact that a woman likes it and that therefore it's lesser, like shut the fuck up. I get so angry. It's also like women and fangirls run. I say this, it feels like every week they run the entertainment industry. Young girls determine what is cool. Before it actually becomes cool in the mainstream. They're tapped in on culture in a way that most people never are. So suck on my balls. Anyway, after I finish Night in the Moth, by the way, the sequel comes out, I think in September. So I will be talking about that when it drops. I think I'm going to start Jane Eyre next because I need to get back on my gothic shit. And I read Jane Eyre in high school, but I don't remember it. I remember Lady in the Attic. Okay, what's the context? And, uh, you know, I'm a Bronte head, so I will be reading Jane Eyre. Um, and I will keep my review to myself. Maybe I'll talk about it in five months. I don't know. Okay. I, I need to just be alone and that's okay. That is okay. So also through all that, the reading and whatever, I'm going to get back on my hobby shit. I'm going to get back on my embroidery shit. I am going to create a gnome garden outside. Bitch, get into this. I'm going to create a gnome garden. I'm going to go to antique stores and the craft store, and I'm going to find a basin to craft outside and put all of my little gnomes. And I want to make a little pebble path and I want to make a bridge. I want to make fake water and I want moss and I want mushrooms and I want fairies and I want to make a gnome garden. I'm going to do it. And then I'll put a when it rains. Okay. I'm going to do that. And that's what I should be doing instead of laying in my bed for five hours at night, scrolling. Okay. Here are my songs of the week. West Coast Prayer by Nessa Barrett. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking love that song. Um, Crank and Saint Loser by obviously Slater. Bitch, she's next up. She's next up. Mark my fucking words. She's next up. And she's been that bitch, by the way. She's, she's been that bitch. Daddy is fuck. I love Hollywood. Every album has hit. The people weren't ready for it. The gay people were, but the people were not. The people were not. The masses were not. Okay. I've also been banging, banging Sierra Farrell, Sierra Farrell. I love her. I've talked about her plenty of times on this podcast. I saw her open for Mumford and Sons at the O2 in London. And I was just like, she is a living God. And that bitch had died. Like that bitch had fully died and came back to life. Her story is insane. And truly a, to me, I think a testimony of art saves, you know, music truly saves people's lives. And, um, I just love her. I love Chitlin Cooking Time in Cheatham County. I love Fox Hunt. I love Rosemary. I love American Dreamin'. I love Years. Her super famous one, In Dreams. She's got so many good ones. What's her one with Billy Strings? Is it Holy Roller? No. The Bells of Every Chapel. I love that song. Um, okay. Those are my songs of the week. Guys, you, you know what I'm going to plug. Like if you do, if you're listening to this, you just go watch this shit. Watch Royal Court. Listen to the Broski Nation podcast. Listen to the Broski Nation official playlist. Um, I've got merch. Go get the Moomoos. Get, um, I don't know. Go back to the main channel. We've got videos. I am going on summer break and I'm going to miss you guys, but I will be back with a refreshed attitude, with a refreshed perspective on not only my life, but the world at large. I want to be a vessel for goodness. And I feel that I am not equipped to do that right now. So thank you for understanding. Thank you for rocking with me for this long. Y'all, we've been doing this podcast for three years and I've never taken a break. So it's time. And, um, I will be back better than ever. Y'all better be good. You better be good. And you better be at attention in September. I'm not fucking joking. When I come back with this shit, you guys better be set. Okay. Thank you. Thank y'all. Loving you to death. Bye-bye.