136: BIG SUMMER BLOWOUT

Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Welcome back to the fucking Broski Nation asylum, we're all mad here. Welcome back to the Broski Nation, fucking Alison Wonderland, freeing a very, very unbeth day to you, to you, a very, very unbeth day to you, to me, to me, to you, low chunk you in Lee, it's not, it's not really the moment right now, okay. Body chopped, face chopped, chopped cheese, you smell like chopped cheese, okay? I feel, I feel fucking crazy. Is anyone else like, is anyone else on my FM radio frequency right now? There is so much always happening, okay? So I just kind of wanted to say that low chunk you in Lee because not only do I feel like the body and the face is not T, it is mulch, body mulch and it's got maggots, bitch. I don't feel corporeal, right? I don't feel like my flesh sack is reflective of what's happening in my, in my mental membrane. So just to put that out there, anyway, how are you guys? How the hell? How the hell are you guys, you're usually, you don't even compliment my nails. I'm, I'm still doing my nose for tattoo nails. You will have jail extensions, you will have to get them failed once every three weeks. God, this bro, it was so good. I could have done Bill Skars guard, Bill Skars guard could not do me a bitch. I could do Bill Skars guard. That's him, right? That's Bill, Bill did, Bill did those for tattoo, right? No, it's for tattoo. I love that he's like tall and kind of spooky looking and everyone's like, you're the fucking monster. You, you, we have our monster. Yeah, it's Bill, it's Billy. Yeah, dude, I, and something crazy is happening in my lower gut right now that it wouldn't be the first or last time that I've paused a podcast recording to go take a shit. So, oh, it might just be gas, shitting myself on camera and not clickbait. Okay, guys, lots to discuss. I have been doing a lot of reflecting. This time period of my life, I don't know if anyone else in their late 20s about to, you know, tip over the edge into their 30s is feeling what I'm feeling and you know what I fucking found out? Bitch, you know what I found out? I was doing all my tarot. I was texting my friends. Like does anyone else feel like they're going fucking insane, like actually insane? Found out. Saturn return. Eh, it's my Saturn return. My Saturn is in Aries. I think that's what it is. I don't know. Annabelle told me and I said, oh, literally, literally, oh my god, I literally have to go have diarrhea. Hey, I literally am going to go have diarrhea. I'll be right back. Welcome back. And that was a message to me because wow, I needed to bottom out. I needed to go bottom out really quick. And that's exactly what I did. So I'm back. I'm about two and a half pounds lighter. Hey. All right, guys, let's lock in. Let's get serious. Okay. Like I've been saying, I'm in my Saturn return. Okay. This means a huge period of like upheaval and kind of coming to terms with like to put it very bluntly and plainly. I have no work life balance. All I do is work. All I do is think about content creation and this and that and views and titles and engagement that I haven't the fucking who's going to be on that it has eclipsed other areas of my life that actually feed my ability to do this job. I can't come on this podcast every week and like give you a perspective on something or something I've been loving or something that I was thinking about recently because I am so bone dry. Like I am truly so burnt out. I am not living. Everything that I'm doing is just output, output, output, output, output. And I'm sitting at home and I'm like, I have nothing to say. And I feel like it is such a privilege to have y'all's ear, to have your attention, your loyalty, the fact that you tune in every week and you look forward to what I have to say. I feel like I'm letting you down because I have nothing to say because I'm not living. There is nothing coming in on that side of my life and that feels weird to say because I have so many exciting work things and you know, but I feel like even for me and my job and my life, sometimes it's like I don't want to just talk about celebrities all the time. And I love my show, like I love what Royal Court has managed to accomplish and what it continues to accomplish, which is connecting with these people, heart to heart and humor to humor and you know, expanding the humanity that's behind this cold, hard shell of a celebrity. That is a fun point for me in my life. Everything else is, it feels like I am playing a character. And the character is draining the life out of me with that being said. And with also the knowledge that it is my Saturn return and all of these things are kind of constantly swirling in my mind and like, you know, having an audience and then like this other invisible third party that's like potential sponsors or like industry people watching your every move or like, are you a good fit for this? Are you a what a, it's just like through all the noise and I'm not going to cry. I told him I'm not going to cry during this episode. Through all of the noise, I have felt a bit like I am losing. I can't hear my own voice. Do you know what I mean? And I've felt that way for a while and I've been trying to power through because I owe it to you guys and I love you guys. And of course, I know how fucking stupid, how stupid as fuck this sounds, right? Like me coming in the back, I was like, you know, like actually shut the fuck up. There are so many more important things happening. But I feel like to be a force for good and a force of joy and of laughter and of connectivity and humanity and empathy and kindness, I need to take a step back. I need to have a summer break. And I think it's a net positive for everyone and everything that's involved in my existence and you know, anyone that I've ever reached or touched like I am not pouring into myself. I am pouring all of my juices into all these different cups and there is nothing left in my picture. So I am going to take a summer break, hear me when I say this, a summer break, and then I will be right back, right as rain for spooky season. Understood? I am not going anywhere. The podcast is not going away. It's not ending. I'm not going to end it and bring it back with a co-host deal. I'm not going to do the fuckery, okay? I genuinely just need a few months off of not working on anything. I want to embroider. I want to write a Gothic novella. I want to finish the fucking bullshit album music that I've been doing. I want to finish all these creative projects that I feel like because I say yes to everything and because I want to be, you know, a good little Hollywood starlet. I just can't, like, there is a thin line between Brittany Brosky and Brittany Tomlinson and I need to solidify that line and that boundary. So that's what I will be doing over the summer. I will be reconnecting with myself. I will be reading and writing and I will be not on my fucking cell phone. And it's just a reset that I really feel culturally is happening for a lot of people. A lot of people switching to dumb phones and setting app limits and going back to tangible physical media and the AI fatigue and just we crave feet in the sand. You know what I mean? Tows in the water, asks in the sand. That's what the people yearn for. I will be taking my summer break to have new experiences, to absorb new perspectives, to live a little. I'm going to start writing a bike. I am going to go visit my friends in different states and have them come here and I want nothing out of it. I don't want content, I don't want a YouTube video, I don't want a collab, I want to just see my friends. I don't want to be on my phone while I'm doing it. All of these things and moments in the last year, this has truly been the most incredible past 365 days of my life. And I truly thought, after I met Harry Styles one not only in 2022, I genuinely was like, I'm getting this day tattooed. There's nothing cooler that will ever happen than this right now. And it's just exponentially gotten better. Like every year is just, and so how can that be happening and I'm like, empty. Like, I am such an Ariana Grande stand and I remember her saying this one year where she was like, career wise, like she won some award. And she was like, career wise, this is the best year of my life, personal life wise, it's the lowest I've ever been. And it's amazing how that always tends to happen, right? Like when your career takes off, you leave nothing for yourself. And when you're living for yourself, it's unemployed jobless behavior. So like, where is that balance and a capitalist tracking like post modern society. And I'm trying to find it, okay? And I will not find it and I will not find it to perfection, but I can sure as fuck try. So that's what I'm in Sika, that's what I will be doing this summer. And I also like, in terms of the show as in the broski report, I want to keep doing this for a really long time. And as long as y'all are rocking with me, I'll keep doing it. But if I want to keep doing it and invest in the longevity of the show, I want to take you with me on all of these strange, you know, pockets that I sink into sometimes. So is life. So is the joy and the journey of womanhood of growing up, of going from a teenager to a young adolescent to an adult to a 30 year old, you know, like I am on that cusp right now. And I am finding it incredibly difficult. This transition is incredibly difficult. So how do you hold up the mirror and say, these are things I am not proud of. These are things I love about myself. These are qualities that I want to amp up. These are qualities I want to tone down. Like I really am at a point where I'm like, I just, I owe it to myself because I am so beholden, it feels like, you know, this is therapy session now. I feel so beholden to other people, to industry people, to advertisers, to, you know, everyone's always watching. Everyone's always watching. And that has taken kind of more of a mental toll than I'm willing to admit. So I will be going back to therapy. I will be going back to therapy. Thank you for asking, yes. I will be taking my summer break, summer, summer, summer, summer from Haskell Musical when they're all counting down and then the clock goes anyway, long story short, I'll see you back here in September for spooky season and we're going to get real gothic with it. I'm going to come back and I'm going to be one of those steampunk Victorian, like, you know, I'm like top hat with the cyborg eye and the corset and the fucking Victorian boot. You know what I'm talking about? Put it up here. That's what I'm going to be and I'm going to find a convention and I'm going to fucking go and I'm going to sell my embroidered trinkets. I'm going to sell a 3D printed lockets and one of those things that used to hang from Chattelaine that used to hang from Victorian belts where they would, like, put their favorite shit on it. Have y'all ever seen these Victorian Chattelaine is an ornamental belt hook or clasp worn at the waist featuring suspended chains holding functional household tools popular from the early 1800s to World War One, acting as a portable pocket for women. It typically carried keys, scissors, sewing tools, watches, notebooks, symbolizing a mistress's household authority. Okay, well, I didn't know what this fucking rooted was actually. Okay, I didn't know what was rooted in fucking gender roles. Classic. I thought I was more for like fun shit, like you can put teeth and stuff. You can put teeth and hair and I don't like rocks and you call rocks, you find. Yeah, I've put some crazy shit on my Chattelaine. Like look at all these fun little compartments, are you kidding? Okay, one would be a lighter, one would be a hairbrush, one would be a mirror, one would be a Charlotte Tilbury translucent powder, the other would be a powder puff. Another one would be probably just like a pen that has a highlighter on the other end and then another one would be a tiny little, a tiny little notebook. Then another one would be a tiny little copy of my favorite book, just in case I'm bored. Like I'm at the train station, I'm like, oh, and then I can, oh and another one would be little glasses. Like bitch, this is so smart. We need to bring this back and when you walk it, it seems, it seems, it seems, it seems pretty, but this is so fun and whimsical. We have to bring back Chattelaine's. Also bitch, listen to this, I've been very, very, very, very, very into watching Jonathan Anderson's interviews, okay. He does a lot of sit down in like in conversation with, he did a conversation with Bella Freude, which I really enjoyed, he did a conversation with this other white guy and he talks a lot about his work life balance and how he's a type of person where, at, there's a point to this story, he's a type of person where collaboration is deeply important to him. I am too. He's also the type of person where like finding solutions is the joy to him, like working in fashion obviously in this constant state of chaos and deadlines and trying to please right? The whole purpose is staying true to yourself as an artist as a creative, but also trying to please, trying to make garments that are wearable and viable, but also serves this, you know, couture, women's kind of, you know, forward thinking, but honoring the tradition of the, the house like, oh, it's just such a, I really sympathize with kind of his, what has been placed upon him and he is fully capable. Like I think Jonathan Anderson is a fucking genius and an artist and I need to start thinking of myself the same way, you know, we're all artists, we're all creatives and it's just about how much, how much agency you give that side of yourself and how much trust you put in that side of yourself. So anyway, he was talking about, or not he was talking about, but just in the vein of Dior, the bustle is so back, the fucking bustle, the Victorian bustle is back, the, which, of course, I have to say, as much as like me personally, I can look back on Victorian fashion and say, wow, like everything was so intricately, beautifully designed, tailored, the silhouettes are so fun and so exaggerated and even things down to like the little hats, like the little fascinator hats with the hat pins, those could double as weapons, you know, like all these things are, they're both, what I love about Victorian society is they are both functional and beautiful. We lost that somewhere in the mix, walk down the Tim's, walk down the sin, every lamp post down the river is so beautifully and like, ornately designed and it serves a functional purpose, right? Like they're also in London, the great stink of London, right, in 1830, whatever, when it was the industrial revolution and there were factories everywhere and people were throwing their shit on the side of the road, literally heaping up into piles, shit, garbage, horse shit, just like nasty, they were like, we have to do something about this. That's when the sewers, the underground sewers were invented, all the stink moved underground, the gases that were being released from moving all that sewage underground lit the lamp posts, bitch, it's genius. So like, and the lamp poster, the sewers, the Victorian sewers were beautiful, like I just have such a regard for that approach to life, you know, that approach to living. Just because we have to do this doesn't mean it can't be beautiful. Versus today, when everything's about cutting costs and the cheapest, you know, labor and the cheapest materials, and the the intention of it breaking within five years so you can pay to get a new one or pay to have it replaced or pay to have someone come out and fix it. Everything is just worse now and everything is lesser quality and I yearn, I yearn for the times previous. While at the same time, I relinquish, or not relinquish, I relish the fact that we've never had it more cushy. Between ice cubes at our disposal, cold water, air conditioning, heaters, like little things like plumbing and, you know, these were not always, I think we just take them for granted way too often. Especially like I'm from Texas living in the south, that area would not be inhabitable. It would not be inhabitable without air conditioning, like it truly is punishing heat. It is life-threatening heat sometimes. So, yeah, I'm just like, wow, I think that also what I love about the Victorian era and kind of admiring it is it helps, lets you admire your own time period a bit more. And yeah, so I'm just, I forget what I was saying, oh, the bustle, do your bustle. Okay, so if we're going to talk about the bustle, which a bustle is the exaggerated fabric and ruching and gathering at the back of a dress to make it look like you have a big bunda, okay? But at the same time, it would snatch the waist in such a way, and usually there was like an overcoat that was very fitted and the waist was tiny and then, you know, you have these, the huge skirts at the bottom, with the big hair and the hat. I mean, it's just fabulous. It's fabulous. However, while I can look at that time period of fashion and say, wow, this is really, you know, ornate and really well tailored and beautiful to look at, the origins of it are of course rooted in desensitized, dehumanized racism and the white man's obsession with a black woman's body. And the bustle really was inspired by Sarah Bartman and the way that these colonizers would look at the curves, the natural curves of a black woman and fetishize it. And so, white women always trying to, you know, compete, fabricated that body type through the bustle, through, you know, the cinching of the waist through all these things. And that's a deep dark history of, you know, so many things. It is appalling. So many things have a similar history where, you know, we come to recognize it. Oh, yeah, that's of the time. That's whatever. But like, why? Why was that the fashion standard? White women and white people in general have always cherry-picked black culture, black bodies, to suit themselves. And they toss away the other things that they don't particularly care for or, you know, that they're not interested in. And it is this separation that ultimately is like a commodification of black culture of black bodies. And it's a horrible, horrific history to go down. But it happened. And it is the history of why this fashion was this way. So while, yes, love the dress, that's the history. And so you have to grapple with both, you know, so I just thought it was worth mentioning, Sarah Bartman, in the spirit of being intentional with my consumption and being engaged with what I'm watching. And if I'm not engaged with what I'm watching, turning it off. And no more of this like numbing of, you know, I have gossip girl on the TV, and I'm also listening to music, and I'm on Pinterest. Like I'm not, there is no need. That is not an intentional mindful use of my time. And I wanted to tell you guys some channels, which by channels, I mean reels creators. Bitch, I'm on reels. I'm scrolling reels in a way that's much more like mature and educated and air you die than most reels users. Okay. And is there some AI slop on there? Yeah, there is because it's unavoidable. But through all the garbage on reels, there are some beautiful things and beautiful people and beautiful messages. And I found one to British guy, okay. But not his fault, he was born that way. He, his name's John O, John O, what's his last name? Derity, Verity, John O Verity. Look him up on Instagram and TikTok. He does these incredible biking videos where he'll get up at the ass cracker dawn, like three or four. And he'll go out on his bike and no one is in London. He will ride around the ghost town of London. I mean, it literally looks like COVID era cities. Like he's biking around London. And he's always got some bullshit to say, but it's the most inspiring, like not on purpose. He's just kind of talking about what's going through his head or, you know, why he loves being up that early and his appreciation for moving your body while you through your aging process. And how getting up and making a routine out of it is it keeps him limber. It keeps his mind aware. It makes him appreciate the sunrise and, you know, everyone living their little lives. He gets to see the inner functionings and work the cogs in the machine of the city of London. He's become friends with the guy who manages the gas lamps. Remember I was talking about the sewers underneath London, like it still kind of works. And so there are these technicians who I think every day or every couple days will come and just monitor all the the lamppost, the beautiful lamppost around London. And he John, John O made friends with one of the guys. And I got a beautiful history of like the sewers of London. It's just that, like he has such a passion and curiosity about life that is insatiable. That is, it's contagious. And so one night I, I've been, you know, spiraling. I've been kind of having a minty bee. And I found his account and I was just crying. I was just crying watching his videos because I was like, this is what I'm not going to cry. This is what I want to return to. This thing that I'm always talking about, this intangible just like, I am so happy to be alive. And there are these little moments that make it worth it. Like bird song or the sunrise or, you know, a bike ride with friends or a nice meal. It's just like these small things, living slow. Everything is so fucking fast paced. We're rushing. We're going to do this. And then I got to have a fucking go, go, go, go, go, go. Everything's about optimization and about productivity. Living slow is a lost art. And I am trying to refine it. So filling my feed with creators like him and messages similar to his book content, slow living, unwinding, tai chi. Like I want to do these things. I've given up caffeine. Bitch, I'm off the red bull. I'm off the red bull. And do I have horrible brain fog? And does my brain not work half the time? And am I so exhausted? I need an afternoon today? Yeah. But I think caffeine takes nine days to get out of your system. And I'm about five days through that. So it's tough. But like I can't keep abusing my body in this way and thinking that like, first of all, I'm going to age well. And second of all, it's not taking a toll. You know, I am not walking. I do bar method. But that's 45 minutes. What? Once a week. Because I travel so much I'm never here. Like I'm just going, going, going, going, going always on, always doing this never actually moving with purpose and intention. In fact, I avoided at all costs because I'm so mentally exhausted. I just want to lay in bed and doom scroll. I refuse. I refuse to resign myself to that fate. I did not sign up for that fate. I have a bit more of a fucking spine and agency in my life than to lay in my bed and look at my phone for 12 hours a day. Oh my fucking God. Like that is not the point of all this. And I'm at this point where I am getting mad at myself. I'm getting frustrated at myself. Similar to when I broke up with the dickhead last year, I'm mad at myself that I put myself in that situation. Right? But you have to hit that brick wall head on and shatter a few teeth before you're like, let me climb. Right? Like, let me climb over this brick wall. So that's where that's how I feel right now just with everything in life. I have to climb the brick wall. But on the other side, awaits the sunset and Squidward's heaven village, okay, where they're all in the Squidward homes. "Can, Brad!" That's what awaits me on the other side. Was that Chris Flamingclip for these like, "Why don't you have a podcast?" He said, because I believe that something waits for me in the divine for having resisted. That's how that's literally what it is. Something waits for me on the other side, and I am determined to go find it. So yeah, dude, John O'Varete, go give him a look. I also found this other girl. I think she's, she is Slavic, but she lives in Italy and speaks like four languages, and she's a ballerina, you guessed it. Her name is Almara Muse. Love her on Reels. Love that bitch on Reels. She is so content. Bitch, I don't know where she gets her money. I don't know where her money comes from, but she goes grocery shopping, and she'll be like, "Hmm, tomatoes on the vine." A slab of salmon, some thyme, and bread. Buies it all, puts it in her burkin. Hey, who are you? Puts all that shit in her burkin. Come home. Slams her burkin on the counter. Takes shit out, mixed in her. Like does her night routine, does whatever wakes up in the morning, shows us her routine. She does all these stretches. She like really takes time to be with herself, and then she always puts on a cute ass outfit, and she'll do a little like half-glut-fingerless gloves, lace-fingerless gloves, with the fucking red lipstick and the bullshit she'll wear a dress, and like fur, and she'll go to a coffee shop, do her little, and sure is some of it performative for Instagram. Yeah, probably. But then she drives herself in her stick shift convertible to ballet, and she does a full ballet class, and then she goes home. And I'm like, "I, I?" Last night, actually. This is kind of mortifying, but I don't care, because life is all about trying things and failing, and experiencing it, okay? Last night, I was like, "I need to figure out what the fuck these ballet moves are." I need to figure out what the fuck a tandoe is now. A pad-pad-bare, pad-du-de, what's it called? When you lift your leg up like this, and then you do this, and then you do another one where you do like this, and then up, and then the-grambatement, grambatement, grompier, okay? All the different positions. I looked up dictionary of ballet terms, and this wonderful Australian woman had taught me some, and I tried to do it because I bought a bar for my house. I bought a little mini bar method bar with all the bullshit, because sometimes I do it at home, not as often as I need to. Like, I need to beat my goal for myself is to do bar method four times a week, and I think I will actually start seeing a change in my body. Right now, it's enough of a challenge, but like, I'll do it once a week, rip all my muscles open, and then not do it. So like, what's the, you know, then I won't do it for two weeks. Like, my relationship with it right now is a very inconsistent, and honestly, not- it's not doing much, and I'm paying for it. So it's like, I need to get my money's worth. Anyway, I did all these, okay? I set it at the bar, and I did the shit. Bitch, even like, doing one. I was like, ow, damn, ow! I was also sore because I just did bar method the previous day, so like, at bar method is a complete full body workout. You start with arms, then you move to thighs, then you move to your obliques, and you move to your seat, and you move to your calves, then you do your abs, then you, after every single exercise, you stretch, which I really, really enjoy, because it's like, you're working out those areas so hard at fucking burns. It hurts. Like, your thighs, but you know, I love seeing a toned thigh, especially on a woman. Like, yeah, bitch! So, I stood there, and I tried, and I was like, this is a whole vocabulary in a different, in a foreign language that you have to learn to properly execute the combinations, and the this, and the whatever, and then there is usually in a ballet class, depending on the school, a live pianist playing the pieces that you're dancing to, which just adds this other element of like, it's just so magical. I don't know. Like, so many people, so many people coming together to combine centuries of knowledge, to create and bring to life art, an art form that is entirely collaborative. Just it makes me cry. So, yeah, last night I was like, I have such a deep, deep, deep respect for what this art form is. Let me try it. And bitch, I was embarrassed! How hard it was! It was hard! But it makes me love it even more. It makes me love it even more. Okay, I also love Tony Bravo on TikTok. She's got me into Tinned Fish, and I don't know if I like it. I don't know if I like it, and that's the fun part. It's because I'm like, she makes it look so good, and I make it, and I'm like, yeah, it tastes good! Is she good? I have to dress that shit up. I tried sardines for the first time. I had to dress that shit up. She puts like onion powder, garlic, I used garlic salt. She puts chili powder, paprika, salt, pepper, lemon juice, thyme, dill, she puts all this bullshit on it, and then hot sauce, then you put it on a cracker with a banana pepper. Hey, that's delicious until you see the spine, until you see the sardine spine, and then I'm. I don't, but it tastes good because it's meat, I don't know. I'm trying to. I'm growing up. It's my sardine return. I'm trying Tinned Fish. So those three creators, I really am like, wow, they make me excited to be alive and like, try new things. Let's do a quick what I've been doing lately in this like fetal few tile attempt to rejuvenate my spirit and my mind. I finished Lord of the Flies. My Goodreads review was very like, this is such a case study in human nature. I think of how quickly, how quickly it turns to violence, how quickly it turns to disarray and lack of respect for authority, how we need established rules, we need systems of shame, we need systems of consequence for a functional respectful society, and when you have people who go rogue and there are no consequences, this is inevitably what happens. And it's so interesting this concept of like, taking a young generation who has just a taste of what it feels like to follow rules to exist within an order, and then throw them somewhere where they're not tethered to that reality enough to re-invent it, you know, to take it and teach it and practice it. So it gets thrown out the window, but then that's what's tethering them to their humanity. And towards the end of the book, oh my god, the ending was so fucking gag. I'm not going to ruin it if no one's, if no, it's Red Lord of the Flies. I really would encourage you to. It's a short read. So much to be gleaned from it about, you know, innocence and about the structure of society and empathy and care for one another and those less fortunate than you, those younger than you, those who need protecting. And yeah, the end, I said, oh my god, because then you quickly realize there's still just little boys, they're little boys. And there's some real adult shit that happens in that book, but they're just little boys. And I don't think they understand. And that's what makes them like freak out. They don't understand the gravity of the situation they're in. So yeah, the end, I was like, you fucker. Oh my god, really enjoyed it. I think I gave it like a 3.754. I think I gave it a 4. I started a night, a night in the moth, the night in the moth by Rachel Gillig. Now, if you will remember, Rachel Gillig wrote one dark window and it's sequel to twisted crowns. I loved that. The Shepherd King duology. I loved those books. I really liked the first one. The second one was kind of a, eh, it was okay for me. I enjoy her writing. I think if I'm not making this up, she's a professor. I'm probably lying. I love her approach to the magic systems, to the societies, to the protagonists, like she always writes the fuck out of a strong female lead, and a sweet, deeply compassionate, hard shell, you know, but gooey on the inside, love interest. So I have a Red Romantician a really long time. You know, I've been on my gothic shit. This was a, I only picked this up because it was sold to me as a gothic romanticie, which yeah, it definitely, it definitely is. It has to do with cathedrals and gargoyles and this and that and like omens and it is, it is pretty gothic, but uh, not in what I was looking for in this kind of like, I don't know, because gothic has such a vague meaning. It's not exactly what I was looking for, but I was pleasantly surprised. And let me say something really quick. There is a smut scene in this book that like, bitch, I turned 29 in a month. I'm not gonna come on here and be like, "You want to show?" I am now reading these smut scenes from a perspective. And this is why I deeply love what Rachel does. She writes it from such a place of like tenderness and complete trust. And it is something that is so like, it's the heart. It's the beating heart of what it is to be human, I think. Like to see and be seen, to feel and be felt, to connect and to be seen so fully and wholly and completely that you allow yourself to become undone. That is what she touches and she is so successful in it. And I genuinely, I was reading the sex scene like crying because it was so beautiful and the lead up to it was so well done. It wasn't this rush kind of brash, you know, forthwing felt a bit like, oh, they're fucking already, oh my God. And then the way that they would fuck in the second book, I was like, oh my God, like, okay, okay. This was like, honestly, the complete antithesis to that. It was so safe. It was so safe and it was so vulnerable. And there are so many elements that she's injected into it with her magic system and whatever that make it all the more like earth shattering. You know, it was just so well done. And I just, anyone who ever shits on romanticy or on smut doesn't get it. And they're deeply misogynistic. And I will die on that hill. If you think it's funny to make fun of the things that women, majority of women enjoy, you're a misogynist. Like, I, what's there to make fun of? The fact that a woman likes it. And that, therefore it's lesser. Like, shut the fuck up, you know what I mean? I get so angry. It's also like women and fangirls run. I say this, it feels like every week, they run the entertainment industry. Young girls determine what is cool before it actually becomes cool in the mainstream. They're tapped in on culture in a way that most people never are. So suck on my balls. Anyway, after I finish, night in the mouth, by the way, SQL comes out, I think in September. So I will be talking about that when it drops. I think I'm gonna start Jane Eyre next because I need to get back on my gothic shit. And I read Jane Eyre in high school, but I don't remember it. I remember lady in the attic, okay. What's the context? And, you know, I'm a Bronte head. So I will be reading Jane Eyre. And I will keep my review to myself. Maybe I'll talk about it in five months. I don't know. Okay, I, I need to just be alone. And that's okay, that is okay. So, also through all that, the reading and whatever, I'm gonna get back on my hobby shit. I'm gonna get back on my embroidery shit. I am going to create a gnome garden outside. Bitch, get into this. I'm gonna create a gnome garden. I'm going to go to antique stores and the craft store. And I'm going to find a basin to craft outside and put all of my little gnomes. And I wanna make a little pebble path. And I wanna make a bridge. I wanna make fake water and I want moss. And I want mushrooms and I want fairies. And I want to make a gnome garden. I'm going to do it. And then I'll put a little umbrella over it for when it rains, okay? I'm gonna do that. And that's what I should be doing instead of laying on my bed for five hours at night scrolling, okay? Here are my songs of the week. West Coast Prayer by Nessa Barrett. Yeah. Yeah, I fucking love that song. Crank and St. Louisert by, obviously, Slater. Bitch, she's next up. She's next up. Mark my fucking words. She's next up. And she's been that bitch, by the way. She's been that bitch. Daddy is fuck. I love Hollywood. Every album has hit. The people weren't ready for it. The gay people were, but the people were not. The people were not. The masses were not. Okay, I've also been banging, banging. Sierra Ferrell, Sierra Ferrell. I love her. I've talked about her plenty of times on this podcast. I saw her open for Mumford and Sons at the '02 in London. And I was just like, she is a living God. And that bitch had died. But that bitch had fully died and came back to life. Her story is insane. And truly, to me, I think a testimony of art saves, music truly saves people's lives. And I just love her. I love Chitlin' Cookin' Time in Chitlin' County. I love Fox Hunt. I love Rosemary. I love American Dream Inn. I love Years. Her Super Famous One in Dreams. She's got so many good ones. What's her one with Billy Strings? Is it Holy Roller? No, the bells of every chapel. I love that song. Okay, those were my songs of the week. Guys, you know what I'm gonna plug. Like, if you do, if you're listed at this, you just gotta watch this shit. Watch Royal Court. Listen to the Broskination podcast. But listen to the Broskination official playlist. I've got merch. Go get the Moo Moos. Get, um, I don't know. Go back to the main channel. We've got videos. I am going on summer break. And I'm going to miss you guys. But I will be back with a refreshed attitude, with a refreshed perspective on not only my life, but the world at large. I want to be a vessel for goodness. And I feel that I am not equipped to do that right now. So thank you for understanding. Thank you for rocking with me. For this long, y'all, I've been doing this podcast for three years and I've never taken a break. So it's time. And I will be back better than ever. Y'all better be good. You better be good. And you better be at attention in September. I'm not fucking joking. When I come back with this shit, you guys better be sat, okay? Thank you. Thank you. Loving you to death. Bye-bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)