Beware Greek Ambassadors Bearing Grifts

[MUSIC] >> Welcome to Love It or Leave It Line from Hollywood, a special shoutout to our viewers on MS now. I'm John Love It, former presidential speechwriter Rachel Maddow's Wario and host of the funniest show you are currently watching. Tonight on the show, Congresswoman Sarah McBride, Congressman Derek Tran, and the great Tignotaroer here. But first, let's get into it. What a week. [APPLAUSE] On Wednesday, the Wall Street Journal reported that Kimberly Guilfoyle, the US ambassador to Greece, an erstwhile fiancée to Donald Trump Jr. participated in a shockingly brazen bribery scheme by Big Fat Greek scandal they're calling it. According to the report, Guilfoyle asked Trump donor Eric Dieters for $100,000 to pay down her American express bill just ahead of her confirmation hearing. And while we didn't previously know that Kimberly Guilfoyle was $100,000 deep in credit card debt, we did sort of spiritually instinctively know, right? We knew Kimberly Guilfoyle was in credit card debt the way freshly hashed sea turtles know they must crawl to the ocean. Ironically being deeply in debt and not knowing how to pay it back made her a perfect fit for Greece. [LAUGHTER] See, some of the jokes are at the expense of Republicans, but occasionally, Greece is going to take a shot, you know? Guilfoyle was privately lobbying the Trump administration to help Dieters with IRS and legal issues in exchange for up to $1 million if she was successful. She was not successful as hard as she tried, much like this convention speech. Leaders and fighters for a freedom and liberty on the American dream. The best is yet to come. [MUSIC PLAYING] Very, very forceful speech I take from Dr. Guilfoyle. Forceful is one word for it. But she's still texted Dieters asking for the additional $100,000 in a way that would not leave a paper trail. And it is smart to leave a paper trail when you're asking for no paper trail so that anyone who might look for a paper trail will see that you were too smart to leave a paper trail and call off the search. Rogue Guilfoyle, it won't show up anywhere if you wire money to American Express. That's all it will show. Please. It won't show up anywhere, not the Wall Street Journal, not John Love, it's opening monologue, not anywhere. Guilfoyle also texted, "Honey, please, I need you to get this done for me today, along with the Praying emoji and a PDF with payment instructions via the signal app. Why am I on this?" replied the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg. Dieters, however, did not send her the money, telling Guilfoyle that it would end his marriage. Boy, every relationship has its own challenges. My mother was right about what she said at our wedding. One day, you would send a bribe to the ambassador to Greece. But hey, sometimes ending a marriage is the best thing that could ever happen to you, just as Gavin Newsom. He was married to Kimberly Guilfoyle. He didn't know. He's got to make sure people know. Isn't that wild? Life is long, you know? Life is long. Dieters also told Guilfoyle he would pay her $1 million if she could land him an interview on Tucker Carlson Show, which also never materialized. I have an in with him, insisted Guilfoyle. You know that demon he says attacked him while he was sleeping? That was me! This is the biggest failure to secure $1 million, since by Wednesday night appearance on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? Yeah, sure. Dieters and a local guitarist had also written a song called Kentucky Outlaw that he wanted Guilfoyle to show Kid Rock. Here is a, that's real. Here is a taste of the song, which we can legally play as long as we comment on it. That sucks. The Wall Street Journal also obtained screenshots in which Guilfoyle warned Dieters to stop talking about their corrupt arrangements in texts and emails. In January of 2025, weeks after her nomination to the ambassador ship, Guilfoyle complained that Dieters had told one of her podcast producers about their deal. "It's unbelievable when we have a private arrangement with you that you would now see a producer talking about the money. Good luck, babe. Your podcast producers are going to know everything about you. There is no way around it. Oh, that reminds me. I have to kill producer Bill." Added Guilfoyle, "You'll literally cost me my ambassador ship. Stop writing. See, Kim, you're worried over nothing. It didn't cost you your ambassador ship. It does mean that you now need a pardon from Donald Trump, the father of your ex fiance, which, even if you're on cordial terms, isn't necessarily a lock. I am on perfectly good terms with my almost mother-in-law, Mia Farrow, and I don't believe she'd want me to go to federal prison. But until she signed the paperwork, I would be nervous." Meanwhile, Trump said this week that the administration does not at present believe that a plagued bioweapon has escaped from a Russian lab. "They're saying it's very much under control, so we hope not, Peter." "We've heard this before a couple of years ago during your first term, where are you getting the same vibe right now from Russia that you got from China at the start of COVID?" "Well, China had to say much, and Russia's not saying much either, but they do say they haven't very much under control." "Cool, cool, cool. Very reassuring. Very reassuring. Hey, should we be worried that Dr. Fauci is driving from Costco to Costco buying all the toilet paper?" According to a new report in the Atlantic, the White House has asked the Pentagon to draw plans for a strike in Iran to take place before Election Day with the hopes of giving the GOP a boost in the midterms. And yet, on Thursday, Trump ruled out a strike, writing on true social, "We will not be attacking Iran at any time prior to the midterm elections to be held in the United States on November 3rd." Said one Iranian commander, running from the bunker, "We are going to have the best fucking month of our lives, hoping against hope that at least one of the other commanders also really, really wants to kiss." It's a welcome change, after Trump suggested Iran go ahead and blow up San Diego, where Pete Hegseth traveled to greet the returning sailors of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Here he is, running behind the Marines at Air Station Miramar. Look, Hegseth is 46. It makes sense that he can't keep up with active duty Marines. It would be pretty tough, even if he weren't, sweating out pure gin. Hegseth is a world-class schmuck, who should be impeached and ultimately sent to prison for war crimes. But I saw a lot of people mocking him for his athletic prowess from the safety of their keyboards. I just know that Hegseth and I, while having very little in common, share the same reaction to being in our mid-40s, complete and total denial. Because right now, I too believe I can keep up with those Marines. Hate to fall behind, but love to bring up the rear, am I right? That's kind of what I'm talking about. Crooked media, I don't know what I'm talking about. Not that Hegseth kept my sympathies for long, because on Thursday, while aboard the USS Lincoln, the Defense Secretary said the public will be able to watch a live stream of the firing squad when it executes former Army major in Adal Hassan, who killed 12 soldiers in one civilian at Fort Hood in 2009. We know what it is. It was a radical Islamist attack in uniform inside the ranks, and so he's going to get a firing squad of soldiers as it should be. And we'll make sure that people are able to watch it, that it's public, because people need to understand that this is a serious consequence for these types of things. That's smart, Pete. Only problem. It's not exactly a deterrent for mass shooters craving infamy and attention, who want to go out in a blaze of glory to stream their dramatic and exciting execution to the public. One way to potentially create more mass shootings is to launch a new reality show called "So You Think You Can Shoot Us." Speaking of gruesome reality shows, and yet more leaked audio, and a clip that is incredibly the most damning yet. Texas Republican Attorney General and, yes ladies, he's single, Ken Paxen, talks at a private fundraiser about cutting programs like Social Security and Medicare. Making some reasonable cuts in the inventory is better. You're going to have to do it, or we work better. There is no solution. That's just a rail. If you have to suck it up, we've been spending like crazy, and no one seems to care. It's going to bankrupt us. I would really like to pay my fair share of taxes, which is less than I'm paying for. Quite the cut up that Republican lady, Ellen Les Jenner is over here. If you actually listen really closely, you also hear James Salarico whisper into the microphone. I'm James Salarico, and I approve this message. Meanwhile, Maine Senator Susan Collins squared off against her Democratic opponent, Troy Jackson. In a debate Tuesday, they focused on the impact of tariffs on Maine. Troy mocked it, but I was successful in getting concrete, pulp, and road salt removed from the tariff list. I didn't mock the fact that she got road salt back. I mocked the fact that what about everything else? Maybe we can't eat road salt. Maybe you can't eat road salt, said Health and Human Services Secretary, RFK Jr. Chowing down on a flattened possum he described as dry brined. In sexier news, New York Democratic Congressional candidate Chris Gallant responded to a recent uncovered X-rated BDSM photo he took several years ago as part of an ad campaign for a fetish brand. Gallant would have addressed this earlier, but he was under a gag order. Going back to less sexy news again. On Bill Marshall, author and journalist, Anon Girardartis, made an important point of about homelessness. - A pretty large chunk of those people end up in cities were failed in some other parts of this country. There are a lot of families who fail the first duty of family, which is to love your kids more than any other thing. And there's a lot of families in this country that look at some verse in some book and choose the verse in the book over their child's face. Every time someone is sleeping on a subway bench in a city, the rest of America can sort of say, "Ah, look at these cities." But we are holding a lot of your people while you fail to love and take care of them. (audience cheering) The clip has gone viral with a lot of people praising his point. This is how it's done. You never hear about this in the media and the secret to a perfect poach egg from a Michelin chef. Though I do think that last one is just my algorithm. And it's true, there is a long history of cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles being a refuge for young people escaping hostile families and seeking a life where they could be gay or trans or whatever else in places with fewer bounds and greater possibility. There's a reason there are so many songs about California. It's been a beacon of freedom, opportunity and hot, shirtless guys on roller skates for a long time. But this is a trap. Fox News blames every conceivable ill on the depraved coastal leads on immigrants, on socialists and trans people. It's to lay guilt and provide an easy, satisfying answer, a confirmation of their viewer's moral superiority. And we can't slip into that same mentality as good as it might feel. I'm sure slipping into the LeBrea Tarpitz feels awesome for a minute. Last year, USC found us part of the 2025 Greater Los Angeles Homeless Count that nearly 80% of unhoused people had lived in Los Angeles County for more than five years before losing housing. The California Statewide Study of People Experiencing Homelessness out of UC San Francisco found that nine in 10 unhoused people were residents of California when they became homeless. According to L.A.'s own homelessness agency, the unhoused are not for the most part made up of outsiders. They are people who live in our communities, but may have been priced out by an ever-increasing housing market. We see ourselves as morally superior, tolerant, and welcoming, and compassionate, but that is a lie. Oh, Alabama kicks their kids out because of the Bible. L.A. kicks people out because we won't allow construction of buildings over seven stories. California's get priced out of housing every day. And where do they end up going? Conservative Texas, which, by the way, has built more solar and wind power. I heard they even have a vegan running for Senate. And for those who stay in L.A., how many live far from their job sitting in traffic on crumbling roads or waiting for slow and unreliable buses that require budgeting hours just to get to work, while our mayor and city council block housing construction, and our leaders hold a press conference to celebrate a new 10-mile transit line that won't be running till 2047 if we're lucky. On the bright side, if we all get in our cars now, we can arrive at the new K-line station right when it opens. By the way, L.A.'s homelessness agency, the one I mentioned earlier, it has wasted hundreds of millions of dollars to mismanagement and corruption as the number of homeless people in the county is once again rising. It's actually hard to know how much money was actually squandered because the previous CFO of this agency, and this is real, only had a degree in cultural anthropology. And listen, no offense to our cultural anthropologist, but your degree is a joke. Wow, that, you were right. There's too many cultural anthropologists that listen to this show. And while I'm at it, a decade ago in Los Angeles, no mosquitoes. Now, many mosquitoes. And it's a special kind of mosquito that bites during the day. We only got the fucking day walkers, fuck. Again, this is not a criticism of a non who has written eloquently on the causes of homelessness and the ways we fail, the most vulnerable in our society. His point isn't wrong, but it is part of a more uncomfortable story about the chasm between our values and our actions. What's broken in Los Angeles cannot be laid at the feet of Trump or Fox News or some anti-Gay hillbilly pastor. The homelessness crisis in California is no one's shame, but ours. The Allure of Donald Trump has always been that he tells supporters you don't have to change or grow or compromise or suffer even one uncomfortable thought. That plus is big, beautiful ass. (audience laughing) And it is no coincidence that Trump's influence rose alongside algorithmic feeds, which encourage the same easy, self-satisfied, mannequin view of politics in the world. And we have to defeat that Trumpian mindset, but not only in these midterms. We have to defeat it in ourselves. Otherwise, we'll never achieve our ultimate goal, destroying Christmas once and for all. (audience applauding) On Thursday, the trial began for an Ohio man, charged with harassment. After he sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state letter. (audience laughing) Sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state senator. When asked why he Shrek's did the politician, the Ohio man replied, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. But don't worry, we are going to show you the image he sent. You have three seconds to avert your eyes or put on your glasses. Here it is. (audience laughing) A man was arrested for sending this picture. He spent a day in jail. First they came for the guy who sent a picture of Shrek's dong. And I didn't speak up because I was simply too horny. (audience laughing) Free that pervert, Ohio. That is not harassment, that's funny. And by the way, think about the mindset of a state senator who calls the police after getting that. The police shut up. (audience laughing) Can't call the police for looking at Shrek's hog. (audience laughing) In Milwaukee, a woman was arrested for pretending to be a substitute teacher because she was bored. (audience laughing) Folks, you can just do things. (audience laughing) 24-year-old Amy Jones signed in to enter the building, went into a classroom and allegedly called the students fucking lame and annoying for not having weed. (audience laughing) She also disparaged the students over their weight and bragged about the felonies she'd committed. "Oh, captain, my captain," said the children. (audience laughing) And finally, this October authorities confirmed the first rabid raccoon in LA County in over 50 years and the most rabid bats ever recorded. So happy Halloween, everybody, and see you at the hospital. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight and we'll be right back. - Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It coming up. - Love It Or Leave It is brought to you by Helix. A good night's rest sets you up for a great day. So if your mattress isn't doing its job, neither can you. It's time to upgrade your sleep. 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Head to Zbiotics.com/loveitcode. Love it for 15% off your first order when you're going to have a couple drinks you feel better the next day. It works. I had it at our wedding. So Zbiotics.com/loveitcode. Love it. Zbiotics.com/loveitcode. Love it. [MUSIC PLAYING] And we're back. [APPLAUSE] All right, we'll be joined by Congressman Sarah McBride and Congressman Derek Trant in just a moment. But first, CricketCon is less than 30 days away. It is a chance for political nerds, pollsters, organizers, journalists, creators, and Cricket hosts to gather in one place in real life just days after the midterm. I'll be hosting an episode of Love It Or Leave It on November 6th plus a panel at the All Day CricketCon event on Saturday, November 7th. You can check out the lineup and get tickets for both Love It or Leave It and the full day CricketCon at CricketCon.com. [APPLAUSE] All right, now this is a reminder, please call your Congressperson. Sometimes they will come in your podcast. All right, please welcome to the show. It's Congressman Derek Trant and Congressman Sarah McBride. [APPLAUSE] All right, let's start with this. OK, the polls are good. The environment for Republicans is bad but. Let's get our heads in the game. What worries you, and if you wake up, and there was no wave, or the wave was less than we imagined, what is it that you think right now where either missing or not taking seriously enough? Well, first of all, it's great to be back on. And this is a big exclusive. This is the first time we've had the trans caucus in Congress appear together. Yeah, so there's a big scoop for you. No, it's huge, it's huge. Yeah, look, this is an important day for the trans community. That's right. That's right. You know, as you mentioned, the polls are looking good. And it does feel like something big is about to happen. We are seeing right now hundreds of millions of dollars being spent by Republicans in a last-ditch effort to try to divide and misdirect the public's attention. We're seeing them trot out the same tired political strategy from 2024. And that is to try to distract the American people from the fact. that they are lining the pockets of the wealthiest 1% by going after some of the most vulnerable 1% in our society right now. But what I'm seeing right now is that the American people are seeing through that. They're not falling for it, and they are ready to turn out. The thing that keeps me up at night is that we are in such a good position in a number of polls that people might be complacent, that people might take a victory for granted. I'm also concerned that there are many people in our own party who are so fearful about some of the most dramatic scenarios that people worry about, that they're catastrophizing, that people might scare themselves into not participating. And so I think right now, obviously, there are still a few weeks left. There's a lot of time for things to change. But right now, if the data is accurate and if the sense that I'm sure Derek is also feeling on the ground is there in November, I think as long as we don't take it for granted, we're going to have a Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. [APPLAUSE] Good evening. No, no, I agree with Sarah, 100%. When I'm out there, everything feels good. I'm talking to folks. They feel good about this. They're pissed off for all the right reasons. But my thing is, we're worried about a free and fair election. And when we have our ICE and CPB officers or God forbid the National Guard at our polling places, that is worrisome to me. And that is what keeps me up. But I think we're going to do the right thing. The courts are going to do the right thing. They're going to stop him. But that fear is still there. We're prepared for the worst, but are obviously hoping for the best. We have a voter protection effort to Derek's point that is unrivaled. We have significant precedent on our side from the courts, especially if he tries to do something with the Insurrection Act. I think we have to be clear with the American people that there is going to be a fair election in November, and that the law is on our side. And at the end of the day, in part, to prepare for the worst, we have to steal a line from Donald Trump, have a victory that is too big to rig. That's right. Yeah. So let's hope for the best. What do you think the first priorities should be if knocking a wood, nothing taken for granted, nothing is certain, but what do you think the priority should be for a Democratic House to run the first? Yeah, I think it's health care. I think that's what we've been messaging about. I think that's when I talk to my community and my constituents. That's what they care about. They don't have their health, they can go to work, they don't have their health, they can't take care of the family and be with their family. It's something that I've talked to leadership about in the Democratic caucus, that we got to do more. And we got to do better. And we see the gutting from this administration hurting so many individuals with HR1 and his big bullshit bill. This is where we can come in, and we make a difference. And I think it's expanding health care. And I really think that's where we can make our mark. How do you think about the person that would have to sign a bill to make reforms to health care would be a man named Donald Trump? How do you think about what, let's say there's either a Democratic House and a Republican Senate or ideally both chambers are Democratic, either way, you're getting something to Donald Trump's desk. How do you think about that? Well, I think this is one of the fundamental questions that we're facing right now, which is the realistic outcome, obviously, that they're still going to be divided government. That Donald Trump will still be in the White House. And look, I think when it comes to health care, I think Derek's absolutely right that restoring the care that was cut in the big ugly bill has to be the number one item on our agenda. We can use all of the leverage that we have at our disposal from appropriations bills to hearings to leverage that power to try to get that care restored. I have a theory that Donald Trump didn't really care about the Medicaid cuts. He just wanted his funding for ICE and his tax breaks for billionaires. He knew that he had this unholy alliance with congressional Republicans, which is he gets what he wants on corruption, on immigration, and on tariffs, and they get to dictate the policies on everything else. He knew it was going to be deeply unpopular to cut Medicaid. But he knew he needed to have that in the bill to get some of the hardline freedom caucus members to support the big ugly bill. I don't know whether he's going to want to die, politically die on the hill of continuing the Medicaid cuts. And I think the leverage that we will have our capacity with the gavils and with appropriations bills increases the chance with this president that we could restore that funding. But I think more broadly, this isn't just about reversing or reducing the harm of this administration. It also has to be about lowering the costs for the American people on all of the issues that are keeping them up at night. And it means laying the foundation for a big bold transformational policy agenda for 2028 and beyond. And I think there are sort of three buckets that I'd really like to see us lead on. This is my personal opinion. But the first is leader Jeffrey is appointed me to be one of the co-conveners of a caregiving working group. It's one of five working groups outlining the affordability agenda for our caucus in the first 100 hours, first 100 days, and first year. And I believe that we can unite the full spectrum of our caucus from progressives to moderates around bold caregiving policy, paid family and medical leave for all universal childcare investments and home care and elder care so that it's actually affordable to start a family and take care of your loved ones again in this country. I believe that we have to build on our progress that we actually made with bipartisan support around housing by creating a federally funded construction workforce program that puts people back to work and ensures we have the workforce necessary for when we pass meaningful investments in housing construction to actually build that new housing at scale and at speed. And those are jobs that'll put people back to work in fields that are more immune to the impact of AI. And that's, I think, the third thing that we have to focus on, which is meaningful regulation of big tech specifically AI to protect workers, to protect our safety and to protect our democracy. [APPLAUSE] Congressman, so Thomas Massey introduced articles in impeachment against Pete Hexf. So we're going to have these battles over the forward-looking agenda. We're going to be in budget battles with Donald Trump, where there's going to be this tough deal making, right? There's going to be questions about what health care cuts can be undone. I pity anyone that will then be facing a choice around whether they would accept refund funding Medicaid and increasing the funding for the Pentagon to make up for the whole created by the Iran War, a decision that is coming for all of you. So good luck messaging that. But as that's going on, people are demanding accountability. They want investigations. Do you think the Massey argument for impeachment is a good one? What do you think about it? No, absolutely. I got the opportunity to question Hexf in one of the House hearings. And I can tell you, this man is ill-equipped to lead our troops. I do believe that accountability is extremely important. And I think when we look at where we are right now and the suffering that's going on around us, if we're going to get in control of Congress and we have the gavils, we have to first address that pain point, that so many American families, so many Americans out there are facing. That is our priority. The accountability part of all of this, absolutely. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. And we're going to do that. It's not just Hexf, him being incompetent. It's also this administration that is insanely grifting off of everything. It's corruption everywhere. And that is so frustrating. And one point to the last question you had, I think we can't lose sight of the fact that us winning control, even though we may not get any bills passed, we can stop this administration and make them elamed up. That's so important. [APPLAUSE] So there's a lot of Republicans that may not be returning to their jobs. God willing. Are there any Republican members at the house who you would-- even if your mind knows you want them to lose, your heart will be a little sad. Is there any person up here like, I do want them to lose? But I'm going to miss seeing them around. Fuck no. Really? No? Not a single one. There are Republicans who are perfectly pleasant. There are in private. There are Republicans who you can work with on some issues. But we have had a front row seat to their cruelty, to their chaos, to their corruption. We have a front row seat to the blank check that they have given this administration. And after all of that, I don't care whether you're perfectly pleasant in the hallway. Democracy is far too important for that. And even in my heart, I believe that. OK. Well said, sir. [APPLAUSE] You were a cook in the army? I was. So my childhood friend, Frank Castanza, he was a cook in the army. Hey, what's the longest I can keep potatoes? Until they turn black. Until they turn? Yeah. Now, the USS Lincoln, they were. - They were struggling because they were stuck at sea. They weren't getting enough supplies. Were you ever in a position where you had to figure out how to be part of making a good meal with less than what you need? Like was there ever a point where you're like, I know what to do. I know how to make all this work together. - No, I think that's a great question. I've never had the opportunity of serving on a ship, thank God, 'cause I was army and not Navy. And one of the things that we were so blessed with is the fact that our government took care of us. And they made sure that there was enough food, there's enough rations. We got the orders that we needed to come in. What they did on the USS Lincoln was insane. To keep them out that long, to countless numbers of suicide attempts. The fact that this administration through this defense secretary, secretary of war, whatever you wanna call them, it's just incompetent and able to control and manage what's going on. Says a lot about why we need to make sure that we gotta win this November. That's plain and simple. - I read homage to Catalonia by George Orwell and it was about his time serving in a militia during the Spanish Civil War against Franco. And then he gets shot randomly and he barely survives. He ends up in a Spanish hospital. And he said that even when Spain was incompetent across very many avenues, they always had incredible meals in the hospital, but you weren't really hungry 'cause you'd been shot in the neck, but they would still try to make him eat all the soup. - Yeah, look, food is a morale booster, right? And I think the military understands that. So, you know, I loved my job. And if they didn't like me, anyone mistreated me, they got half portions. - That's cool, that's cool. Use the power that you have. Hey, do you cook, Ever? - I do cook. - Do you really, what do you make? You ever roast a whole chicken? - I have, I've roasted a whole chicken once. I do the turkey every Thanksgiving. - Oh, you do? - Yeah. And I've only cooked it properly once out of five years. (audience laughs) - I am a spatch-cocked and dry-brined a turkey, then that morning my fridge died. And I did almost cry, I'll be honest, but then I called around and I got one last turkey, and then I made it much more quickly. This year, you know what I wanna do? I'll tell you, I wanna fully debone the turkey, and then I wanna roll it. - Wow. - If you've heard of this, you can roll it. You can take a whole turkey, every part of a turkey. Take the bones completely out, then you put herbs and stuff, and then you roll it. It's like a, and then it just cooks like a log, and then you slice it, and every slice gets everything. Little light made, a little dark, but everything's moist, and it's even, I wanna make a turkey log. (audience laughs) So congress. (audience laughs) Hey, what reality show are you watching? - I'm gonna start on Saturday, the new season of Trainers. - Oh, you are great. - Yes. - Have you watched Ultimate Girls Trip? Are you watching Ultimate Girls Trip? - I have never, I haven't watched it. - Is it worth watching? - It was great, just wrapped, highly recommend, 'cause we've talked about this in the past, the sort of reality TV vacation of our congress, and each time we talk, you've sort of evolved in your appreciation of the ways in which reality TV has wrecked either our culture or the people within it. So I think traders is interesting. Do you think that when the lefties and the mods are dukened out on the house side, you can bring some of the wisdom of watching traders to that? - I would love to be the Allen Cummings of that dispute. Yes, please. - Yeah. - Ah, do you all watch traders? - Okay, good. - Do you watch any reality show? - I don't. - I got a job. - You what? I got a job. (audience laughs) - Okay. (audience laughs) All right, sorry, you're hard. - I hear people of Delaware and watch traders all of the same time. - Yeah. - You remember a congress, not sure why you're wearing a robe and holding a gavel, you're judging us. (audience laughs) Oh, hey, do you think we can get Mom Donny to convince Trump that Medicare for All was his idea? - Absolutely. He has a spell on that man. I have not seen a crush like that. - It's cool. - With an elementary school. - I think we need to dispatch him to make Trump think that I like Trump is gettable on some of these issues. - Absolutely, Trump has no core other than personal enrichment. And so if you can just flatter him, he often does what you want. He's the most manipulated man to ever occupy the White House, which we see on full display with Putin and other world leaders. - So that's something to look forward to. (audience laughs) Well, now that I have you both, it's time for the first annual meeting of the joint Orange County Delaware Tourism Board. (bell dings) Congressman McBride, Congressman Tran, in the interest of driving up tourism, I'm going to pitch your two beautiful districts against each other. Tonight we're going to definitively answer the age old question, what's the most beautiful place on earth, Orange County or Delaware? You will both defend your state and I, famously neutral, John Love, it will rule on the winner. That's right, baby. I'm like avocado oil, neutral with a high smoke point. What? The stakes are very high because whichever place wins, that's where I'm going on my honeymoon. All right, here we go, first up. All right, old Bay or Sriracha, what do you think? - Sriracha all the way. - I mean, I guess I have to say old Bay, but I do love Sriracha more personally. - Wow, wow, that point goes to Orange County. - Damn. (bell dings) I mean, you didn't even defend it. You didn't even defend it. The state birds, Delaware blue hen chick or the California quail. - I mean, the Delaware blue hen is wonderfully encapsulated in our University of Delaware mascot. And so we actually celebrate this, which I don't know if you even knew that your state bird was the quail, is that right? - And you share it with the rest of the state of California. - Look, I can tell you the blue hen tastes delicious. - That's right, we eat your mascot. You don't eat ours, hot. - And they're fighting and we all want fighters right now in the Democratic Party. So, fighting blue hens. - Oh yeah, the fighting blue hens. Okay, I'm gonna give that one to the California quail. - What? - Sorry. - Come on. - Okay, next up, we're, you're, sorry. Take it up with the judge. Weird law, Delaware, it's illegal to get married on a dare versus Orange counties. You can't own a pig in Seal Beach, though some exceptions might be made. So, this is an interesting one, because in a sense, isn't every marriage on a dare, the dare of happiness in the future, you know? On some point, it's all marriage is illegal in Delaware. - Yeah, in a sense, there's never been a legal marriage in Delaware, which is cool. Everybody's sort of living in sin in the state of Delaware. Every marriage is a dare. I never thought about that for I dare you to marry me. That's what it is. Will you marry me is I dare you. - Marry me, you're gonna bet the rest of your life on who I am right now. I was so different six months ago. What will I be like six months from now? - And don't you wanna own a pig on your honeymoon on a Seal Beach? - You bet I do. - So you can't do Orange County. - I choose Delaware. - There you go. Yes, finally. - Although, Orange County did say they would consider issuing permits to some pigs. Are you aware of this picture, Versi? - I did not know. - Wow. - It says that you could have a service pig is an exception. That's fun, huh? I have a service pig. - Service anything. - Yeah, you could have a service. - Is there any of the airlines? - Yeah, yeah. Those people that brought those service horses on the plane really fucked it up for the rest of us that were lying about our dogs. It's like, of course I'm lying about my dog. Everybody be cool about it. Now I can't bring my dog on the plane because some asshole brought a service peacock. This sucks. It's like we're all, guys, it's just to save 150 bucks. Everybody be chill about it. - This is an emblematic of the accesses of the left. Absolutely. - Sure, 100%. - Let's see, Nott's Berry Farm where there were Hobath Beach Boardwalk including Funland and the Funland Haunted Mansion. - Well, I hate to tell you the Haunted Mansion is actually closed right now for renovations. - But. - And even better Haunted Mansion. - That's a perfect one. - No, no, no. You can walk from the Haunted Mansion down the boardwalk to Baltimore Avenue where there are a ton of gay bars including Aqua where I like to go and you can have a shot with me at Aqua. - Wow. Can I do that at Nott's Berry Farm? - No, you can walk from Nott's Berry Farm to Disneyland. - Happy placehold. - Oh, that's interesting. Walk to an even better theme park kind of sad for Nott's Berry Farm. Hey, can I ask you a question, Derek Tran? Did they rename Montezuma's Revenge? Because when I was a kid and I went to Nott's Berry Farm they had a ride called Montezuma's Revenge. - I remember it. I've been on it. - Is it open still or I think they closed it? - I'm gonna be honest, I don't know. I haven't been to Nott's Berry Farm in a minute. - I like when names like that are grandfathered in. Like this is a ride named after a racist diarrhea trope. Oh, I'm gonna give that one to Delaware. I am. - Absolutely. - I am, I'm sorry. - Thank you. - 'Cause of the shot with me? - 'Cause I get a shot with you. Nott's Berry Farm, where do you eat some berries? No state or local sales tax in Delaware versus no equivalent found. (laughing) - Self-explanatory. - Yeah, I don't know. This is gonna be a tough one for you, Congressman Tran, because it's not your fault. A lot of local taxes here in California. They really get us coming and going. - But it's California versus Delaware. - No, I know, that means. - It is more bang for your buck in Delaware. Not only do we have no sales tax, but housing, I think, is three times less expensive. - But it's Delaware. - In Orange County, you can get a beautiful, beautiful home in Rojobeth Beach as a rental for probably what you'd have to pay for one day in Orange County, you can get for a week in Delaware. - And you know, you can get more bang for your buck in Delaware, and more bang for your whatever, in Rojobeth. (laughing) - It's not a dock in Provincetown. (laughing) It's not a dock at the right. Oh no, oh no, you saw that clip, fuck. All right, I'm gonna give this one. - Oh, come on. - To Delaware. (bell dings) You both heavily defended your states. I'm gonna declare the winner, the great state of California. - I was never said. - Ha. - I think that was rigged. - Oh good, interesting, interesting. Thank you both and we'll be right back. (clapping) - Hey, don't go anywhere. Love it or leave it as brought to you by trees.com. Listeners of this show have heard us talk about our love and the online plans to our fast growing trees for years, but now they've got a new name, it's trees.com. It's simple, it's chic. It's still America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over three million happy customers. They have all the plans your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, houseplants, and shrubs, all grown with Karen. 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Now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together, use love it to save today, offers valid for limited time terms and conditions may apply. Hey everyone, my name is Elijah Cone and I've been a producer here at Cricut Media for a decade. I love making our shows with the smart creative people who work here and hearing from all of you who was in every week. But the thing that I'm proudest of is that video we made of your vegramas while me grunting while hitting baseballs. No wait, sorry. The thing I'm proudest of is the work we do through votes of America. See, we don't want our shows to only leave you feeling anxious about the state of the world. We want to give you something you can actually do about it. Just this year, our listeners have raised millions of dollars and filled thousands of volunteer chefs to help candidates and causes into 2026 midterms. And we have no plans to slow down as we head into 2028. As far as I know, there's no other media company that does what Cricut does. We make entertaining, thoughtful content that brings people into politics and then we give them a direct way to get involved. And if you believe in that mission, one of the best ways to support us is by becoming a paid subscriber. Your subscription helps us keep making the shows you love and building a media company that doesn't just talk about politics, but helps people change them. And if the mission sounds great, but you feel like you need some sweet subscriber benefits to get you over the finish line, we've got you covered. Subscribers get ad-free shows, plus excellent exclusive podcasts, newsletters, and much, much more. So thank you for listening and supporting what we do. Head to Cricut.com/FriendsToday to learn more and become a subscriber. (upbeat music) You can see my next guest on her stand-up tour with dates coming up in Fresno, California, and Colorado Springs. She's also the co-host of the Hanson Podcast. Please welcome Tegna Taro. (audience cheering and clapping) Now, I would like to start with something of a rift between us, something of a row, something of a Donnie Brook. - I feel like we have a few of those. - Well, I'll start with one and we'll go from there, which is you recently invited Ari and me to your home for a lovely dinner. And when we walked through the door, you said something that did catch me off guard, and you said, and I quote, "I'm so glad we drew your names out of the hat." (audience laughing) And I reacted a little bit. I would say I was ever so slightly put off by the idea that we were invited to your house based on some sort of a lottery, some sort of a bingo style auction that you held with Stephanie. - Mm-hmm. - And now, then I was sort of mercilessly attacked for the remainder of the evening. And when I brought this up with the team, I'd love it to leave it, they also felt that I was wrong. - Yeah. - So defend your idea of choosing us at random to come over. (audience laughing) - I told you, it wasn't totally at random. First of all, I can never get over how cute your face is. As gay as I am, I'm always just like, how is it that that face was even designed? (audience laughing) - Thanks, yeah, thanks to the community. - But anyway, what happened was, Stephanie and I, well, I told her, I wanted to start socializing a bit more because we have our family, our kids, we're working, and there's so many people in our lives. Don't reach your cards, you ask me a question. (audience laughing) So, there are people in our lives that we adore because they have cute faces. There are people that we want to get to know better. And then we just thought, let's make a really solid list of who those people are, and it's a good list, and then we're gonna throw it in a hat. There's actually no hat, okay? No, there's a hat. (audience laughing) It's a good looking hat. It's, yeah, so we just throw some names in there and we picked yours out. And I think that is very, it's not random. Do you understand? It didn't start out random. And then there was a slight randomness after. But the list is not random. - How many names were in the hat? - It was just you and Ari and the people that were there. - How many names? - No, I would say, this will help, I think. - I would say there's probably like-- - I'm actually nervous. - 40 names? - And there was like, what, eight of us? Pretty good odds? - It's really good odds. - All right. And then, well, two of those were me and Stephanie. - Right, so there were six. - There were six. - Okay. - Yeah. - So six out of 40, so three out of 20. It's about a little less than, a little more than one in seven chance that we were gonna invite it. It's pretty good. - Wouldn't you say that's a pretty decent, like, would you be offended if you were invited to this party that you got-- - I'd say I wasn't offended. I was something between MIFT and offended. - MIFT and offended. Would you have felt that way? - People. - Right, see, you're wrong again. (audience laughing) - Thanks a lot. It was free to take my side. (audience laughing) It was lovely, and I was, I once you explained it, it made sense. - Yeah. - Yeah, and I got over it. Eventually, I got over it. - Well, we're talking about it here. (audience laughing) - Hey, you were recently in Tennessee. - I was. - And you were doing stand-up, and when you're doing stand-up in a time-- - It's what I do. - It's what you're-- - It's what you're known for. - Not funny, it's what I do. (audience laughing) - And you're gonna-- - And you're gonna tell my audiences, go ahead. - No, that's a great note. - Yeah. - It's a great thing to tell them. You're in Chattanooga, Tennessee. - I was. - And I have to assume that you're sort of, I don't know, how well-known are you in Chattanooga, Tennessee? What happens when you go to Chattanooga, Tennessee? - Well, thanks for asking. I, I, well, you know, the show, I did two shows. So one sold out, so there's a second show, right? - Cool. - And the next morning, I went into a coffee shop to get a coffee for the road. And I'm not bragging, so everybody get off my back, but I walked into a coffee shop and the seven people that were there recognized me, had no idea I'd had a show there, okay? The people behind the counter recognized me. And then after all of that happens, a woman walks in behind me. I miss the whole thing, and then she says, why do you look so familiar to me? And Stephanie, my wife had told me, before you should just immediately say, I'm a comedian and an actor, because I used to say, oh yeah, I don't know, just to kind of skip past it, but we never would skip past it, 'cause they'd want to figure it out. So there I am using what Stephanie told me, I'm a comedian and an actor, and she said, but what's your job? And I said, well, I'm a comedian and actor, so I used it again, trying to get out of this. - Yeah, yeah. - And she cut me off quickly and she said, I heard you. And she said, but I'm wondering, do you go to a lot of beer events around here? I said, I don't, and I don't go to many beer events ever anywhere. So that's about how I'm known in Chattanooga. - Pretty good. I would say it's pretty good for Chattanooga. - I would say everyone, but her seemed to know me. - As far as you know, as far as you know, everyone but that one lady. And she did kind of know you. - Yeah. - I could place it. - Yeah. - She could in place it. - But she'll see me on here. - One can only help. I did a show in Chattanooga. - Did you? - Yeah. - How'd that go? - It's pretty good. - You know, their pride is in October down there. - Pride is in October. - Yeah, they keep it in October. - Why? - I don't know. - For October, beer fest. - You think it might be tied to beer fest? - Well. - I thought it might have been the heat. - I was thinking of this woman who asked if I go to beer events. - What was it in October when you were there? - No, I just got back. Yes, it was. (audience laughing) Yes, in fact, it was October. - Hey, speaking of it, we're doing great. I like that both of us, that Stephanie is like, you're behind the scenes coach being like, hey, I just watched that interaction. In the future, we're gonna try a different method. And I get the same from Ari. Ari does that for me a little bit. Ari's like, hey, what you did there? That was weird. You were weird. You're the reason. That interaction just had that you're confused about. You did that. That's your fault. And then I learned and I grow and I changed. - Yes. - You know? - I tried to, but beer fest lady in Chattanooga was not having it. [BLANK_AUDIO] Georgia. What's the truth though? I am a comedian and actor. Next. Hey, it's spooky season. Yes. Are you decorating for Halloween? How did you come up with this question, John? Well, this was the last time you're here. We didn't have these things are looking up. It's really good on MS now. Our kids are 10. We have twin boys. We took them when they were -- how old were they? Three to CVS. They bought all of the -- no offense CVS, but the CVS garbage in the Halloween aisle. And we have had that ever since. And so when I just got back from Chattanooga I pulled up and I was like, "Oh, right. Halloween's coming up." It just looks like CVS drove by and just threw garbage in our yard and kept going. So yes, we decorate. You don't know what I was thinking about when you said no offense CVS. If CVS was a person, I think they would not be offendable. I think they'd have a kind of sturdy attitude and they'd know their failures and their successes. They'd be pretty even about it. Like, "Seems like me. You just described me." Yeah, I think that is like you. You and CVS have that in common. Yeah. You know your strengths, you know your weaknesses. You're not easily offended. But you're saying if CVS was a person, I'm like, "Here, here I am." Yeah. Sure. You're friends with CVS. In a sense. Yeah. In a sense. Then it's interesting to think how would you be -- what's Walgreens like? And I think similar. I don't know because CVS doesn't invite Walgreens to their half party. Walgreens not in that hat. It's too complicated. Sorry, Walgreens. It's too complicated for, you know. They tried to be friends, but they just couldn't, you know. Too much in common. I know. Too much in common. Some people are too similar to be friends. What are we talking about? I'm not sure. How do you decide what to land on? Well, I don't really know. Hey. Yeah. Because besides your dry wit and incredible charisma, you're also best known for not knowing much at all about anything. In that spirit, it's time for segment. We're calling "Tigs Say The Darn Just Things." And here's that works. I'm going to present you with a recent news story and ask, "Do you know about this?" Okay. You can just -- You can just say yes or no. I'm going to follow the news more than I follow pop culture. Why don't we just see what comes up and see if that's true? Here we go. First up. Do you know about this, "The Ballad of Stella Lefty?" You know who Stella Lefty is? Yes, I do. She's a country singer. Uh-huh. I follow music and documentaries mostly. Yes, I am aware of Stella Lefty and -- Her song, Boston. She has a few songs. She's been -- Do you want me to tell you what I know? Yeah, that's the -- Yeah. She's written some -- She has some songs out there that people think sound a lot like other songs. Yeah, they bear an uncanny resemblance to similar songs. And it's also a little strange to sing a song about Boston. Nearby the place the original song was about when you're not from Boston. You know what I mean? If you're going to take a song that has a melody that's about Vermont, it's weird to then sing a similar song about Boston. Sing about something far away from Boston. Right. You know, I don't think of it. When you think -- the distance shouldn't matter now that you think about it. Yeah. All right, I think -- Yeah. Okay, that's all we need to know. I think -- You know what? Take knew about that. Steve Hilton's Lesbo ad. Do you know about that? Like -- Yeah. Meaning Lesbian? That's right. Uh-huh. I said Lesbo. Yeah. Like they would have said in the movie "Look Who's Talking" in 1989. Oh, you know. When I learned the word. What I call myself. What? What is Lesbo Baggins? [ Laughter ] You see, because you eat so many meals. That's right. I also just call any Lesbian Lesbo Baggins. Oh, cool. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Republican Canada for Governor Steve Hilton, here in California, received backlash for a horny campaign ad, which Likens votes for Steve Hilton to having Lesbian sex for the first time, and we do have a clip. Oh. [ Singing ] I can't believe I'm doing this. It's like being nervous. It's not that bad. I've just never done anything like this before. Like, what if my dad finds out? Just try it. Look, give me your hand. Close your eyes. [ Sighs ] And I'll do all the work. I didn't realize how long this part goes on. [ Singing ] And she -- [ Laughter ] That's -- Sorry. That's great. I don't think the Lesbian should vote for Steve Hilton, but that's pretty good. [ Laughter ] Hey, as a lesbian, publicly lesbian. What's your reaction to that? I love it. [ Laughter ] Not a single note. No, it's really good. I'm -- [ Laughter ] So I can, like, go home and Google that. Yeah. Yeah. I can show Stephanie and me. It's on all the computers. My kids. You bet. That's the craziest thing about it. Next up, we have -- This is a cell phone. It's sort of a sense in a sense. What is it? It's an old radio. It's a real old radio. What's the name? We got it for the show. It's a radio. Because this is, like, what would radio became? I got it. Okay. Yeah. Have you heard about AI? Let's not move this -- Let's not lose this momentum. [ Laughter ] Have you heard of AI stand-up Tiffany Sloan? No. Like, rather than -- let's just show you, clip. I have a lot of mixed friends. Anyone mixed in here? Whoop. Hell yeah. What are you, my guy? German and English. Okay, you're white. My comments are just men saying hi. 4,000 of them. Hi. Hi. Hi. And not one of them said, hi. Here's rent. Wait, that's not a real person. No. What is happening? We've made a series of mistakes that -- You and I have. We are responsible. Some doors lock behind you. And several have locked behind our society. We kept walking through doors, and then trying them to get back through, but we actually can't. Is she popular? Because she's good. No, it looks good. She's good. She's really good. She's really good. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. She's really good. Here's the thing. If she walked into a coffee shop in Chattanooga. Yeah. Nobody's confused where they know her from. When -- she is -- like, she has a big following. The clips are going viral. All the jokes are stolen. Basically, some of them are manufactured -- My understanding of it. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong. It's Tiffany Sloan. Oh, I thought not Tiffany lefty. No, that's lefty. That's the -- That's the -- A lot of thievery going on. Yeah, listen. Yes, we've sort of -- You know, we stopped going to church, and then things really kind of went downhill. So -- Chattanooga, stop going to church. Yep. This happened. Yeah, absolutely. And that -- that entity. Yeah, the jokes are either stolen or kind of crafted from other comedians' material. And they just put another comedians -- Like, I saw a video of a comedian saying, "Hey, that's my joke." And it's just like kind of a dude. And then you go, and it's just sort of like this sort of, you know, I don't know what you describe that shape as. That this shapely woman made of AI doing his material. Right. Which is not good. No, no, no, no. You don't think that -- I mean, a great comedian shouldn't -- Even someone as good as Tiffany Sloan shouldn't be stealing other people's work. You should definitely not be stealing people's work. And we've always said that. Yeah. Me and you. Everybody head to Tignitaro.com. Oh, that's it. For Ticket, that's it for now. Oh. You're going to hang for a bit. Everybody go to Tignitaro.com for tickets to see her on tour and listen to Handsome wherever you get your podcast. And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've been on the fence about therapy, perfect time to explore it through our long-time partner, BetterHelp. Insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, which hopefully reminds us all about the importance of prioritizing our mental and emotional well-being. Therapy isn't just for big-life choices or major crises. It can be a place to talk through smaller everyday frustrations and roadblocks. The work situation, taking up too much mental real estate or relationship dynamic, you can't quite name, or simply the sense that something feels off. You got to get therapy. All those things happen everybody. You know, you need us. And if you can get it, you should. If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. If you don't have insurance or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month. Visit BetterHelp.com/LoveIt to explore your payment options. That's better. H-E-L-P.com/LoveIt. Hey, everyone. My name is Elijah Cohn. And I've been a producer here at Krikin Media for a decade. But the thing that I'm proudest of is that video we made of Yvesek Ramaswamy grunting while hitting baseballs. No wait, sorry. Just this year our listeners have raised millions of dollars and filled thousands of volunteer chefs to help candidates and causes into 2026 midterms and we have no plans to slow down as we head into 2028. As far as I know, there's no other media company that does what cricket does. Your subscription helps us keep making the shows you love and building a media company that doesn't just talk about politics but helps people change them. And if the mission sounds great but you feel like you need some sweet subscriber benefits to get you over the finish line, we've got you covered. Subscribers get ad-free shows, plus excellent exclusive podcasts, newsletters, and much much more. Head to Cricket.com/Friends today to learn more and become a subscriber. And we're back! We're joined once again by Congresswoman McBride and Congressman Tran. It's time for the Rand Weal. Here's how it works. We spin the Wheel Wherever Lands. We talk about it. You have 60 seconds to rant about a topic of your choosing. Let's spin the Wheel. It is landed on Sarah McBride. Yes! Take us away. Well, picking up on a topic we talked about earlier, I do not believe that celebrity reality shows are better than civilian reality shows. I am tired. I am tired of seeing people go on these shows who don't have their lives at stake if they win or lose. It's probably why both of you failed it, who wants to be a millionaire the other day. You're playing for a charity, you're not playing for your own success, and so we don't see the ruthless gameplay that we need to see on those TV shows. And I got to tell you, I know everyone's gameplay when they're a celebrity, and so do all the other contestants, except for you when you were on Survivor because none of the other contestants knew who you were. They were lying and they didn't know. They were lying and they did know. I proof I can prove it. The gameplay is less ruthless. They can't deceive one another. It's not as good TV. And none of this applies to you because even if you went on traders, celebrity traders, no one would know your gameplay since you got voted out of Survivor on the first episode. So, you're all good. Don't worry about it. It doesn't apply to you. Wow. I believe it's a new record, seamlessly making a genuine point while insulting me three times over the course of 60 seconds, pretty impressive. Let's spin it again. It is landed on Technotaro. Let's see. What do I want to rant about? Well, I do want to warn you right up top. My ranting is not much of a rant, but I will tell you that traveling a lot, bathrooms are tough for me. Mainly, though, germ issues. I know we all have our different reasons here for bathrooms. I hear you. Girl, I know you hear me. But, girl, have you ever been in a bathroom stall and then. Right, and see Macy's forbidden me first. Well, I'm here to tell you. Be glad. Because, you know, how the little area is open where you can reach to the other stall? No. No. You've never even been in where a toilet is. Never. Okay, well, here's the thing. Somebody at the airport put a pillow down. Oh, great. Tell us more, because I've actually heard this also. By the way, I heard about this at my raffle probably. At the raffle I won. I won a raffle to come to dinner with Dickens. You want me to talk more about it? It's so disgusting. They put a pillow on the ground. Okay, the end. Somebody put a pillow on the ground. Exactly my point. It's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. And that's all I can say in my rant over and over is how disgusting it is. However, there are pluses to bathrooms. Public bathrooms. One of them being that I overheard a woman in the stall next to me with her probably two-year-old who she was probably traveling alone with. She locked the child in the stall with her while she was going to the bathroom. And I got to hear the little kids say, "Oh, mommy gross." It stinks. And she's like, "Stop it." Quiet. It stinks, mommy gross. I would prefer that than seeing a pillow on the ground. I think that's such an important point. It really is. And I'm so glad I could be a part of these brilliant people up here and talk about smelly gross things in bathrooms. I know there's bigger issues in bathrooms. Sure, no, not that I can think of. I think it's all pretty well set other than the gross thing. Well, there's my rant. Beautiful. Thank you. It has landed on me. I have a very specific and very small rant. And I've ranted about many things. And so I've ranted about serious and big issues before. And you know that I have, I care about big and important things. This is not one of those things. Here's what I believe. We've sent a man to the moon. We've achieved amazing things. There's an app on my phone that can translate any language and that also manned life on earth. That's impressive. Hard to do. I think that when you open a tin of fish, it should be closeable. That's it. I don't know how and I don't know why. But what I don't like is that when I open a can of anchovies, the opening of the can is kind of an insuperable boundary to closing it again. And you're really only have two options, which is to force it close and kind of nudge the little metal thing under and then either hope for the best or wrap it in tin foil super quickly. Then when you open it, it's fish surprise. Or you put the whole fucking thing in a ziplock bag and then kind of push it close and then put it under something in the fridge. And I just think we can do better. Yes. That's all. It's a very small thing. You know, I want to, I was listening. I do, yes. Because I, you know, I'll open up a can of anchovies. I've seen to do it. You're not scared to do that. Not scared at all. No. No, I'm brave. Yeah. One of the bravest people I know. This is the second episode in a row. I'll say it once again. Comedians are the bravest people. We've often said that. We do. We say that. We'll be right back. We will be. And we're back. Boy, I'm good at this. Or am I? Which is why it's time for segment. We call second thoughts. Here's how it works during the show. The producers of this program have collected all the ways they think I could have done better. They also occasionally will provide a small treat as a kudos for the rare moment where I've done something great. And I was hand these cards and Bill said who I did refer to killing earlier. There's a kudos today. And I went like a child on Christmas. And then he went for Sarah. And that kudos was for the trans caucus, which we all felt was a delight. We really all appreciate it. It's really less about the tree's cheat itself and more of the achievement. First thing I'd like to apologize for. I showed my audience Shrek porn. And presumably everyone watching MS now. I said put on your glasses instead of put on your context to see the Shrek penis. And everybody feels you feel context was funnier that I shouldn't have changed it to I changed it to glasses on the fly. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the team. I left them down. I realized when the two members of Congress came out that I also showed them Shrek's genitals. I asked a member of Congress how long I can keep old potatoes. I'm sorry for implying that someone in the army would be on a boat. I cried. I'm going to make a turkey log. I called myself famously neutral. Both halves of which are questionable. TIG, I'm sorry for looking at my cards while you were earnestly answering my question. I did start every question with, hey, again, a new tick I've developed. Someone like Jeremy, Jimmy, Jimmy Glick. And I don't really know where that came from, but it's happening more and more. And I just turned to people and I say, hey! So much thievery. You think that? I don't even know if it's stolen. I just think it's, you know, yeah, maybe. Oh, I attributed AI and plagiarism to not going to church. I tried to describe a shapely woman something I should never do again. Is there anything else you think I should apologize for? I want you to think about it and come back to me once you know. - Do you have any regrets? - I do. - Okay. - Not tonight, but I-- - You know, the sort of lifelong and unrelated. Do you have any regrets? - I regret insulting you two out of the three times. - No, I think two of them are warned. I think they're all good, they all worked. Hey, it worked. All right, if it works, it works. And I, but one regret, this show must end. But that is our show. Thank you so much to Tignitaro. And representatives, Sarah McBride and Derek Tran, there are 25 days until the midterms. We will be back next week with astronauts, Andy Olivas, and comedian Mocha Casher. Have a great night. - Love it or leave it is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Gilmagrath, Kelsey Dante, and me John Love it. Our production team includes Holly Hefer, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Tolls, Claudio Shang, J Banks, Ruhl Calderon, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroat. And our production staff is proudly unionized with the writer's guild of America East. [MUSIC PLAYING] - Hey, everyone. My name is Elijah Cohn, and I've been a producer here at Crooked Media for a decade. But the thing that I'm proudest of is that video we made of you Becrama Swamy grunting while hitting baseballs. No wait, sorry. The thing I'm proudest of is the work we do through Votes Abe America. As far as I know, there's no other media company that does what Crooked does. We make entertaining, thoughtful content that brings people into politics. And then we give them a direct way to get involved. Your subscription helps us keep making the shows you love in building a media company that doesn't just talk about politics, but helps people change them. Head to Crooked.com/FriendsToday to learn more and become a subscriber.