Beware Greek Ambassadors Bearing Grifts

what's up los angeles welcome to love it or leave it live from hollywood a special shout out to our viewers on ms now i'm john lovett former presidential speechwriter rachel maddow's wario and host of the funniest show you are currently watching tonight on the show congresswoman sarah mcbride congressman derrick tran and the great tig notaro are here but first let's get into it what a week on wednesday the wall street journal reported that kimberly guilfoyle the u.s ambassador to greece and erstwhile fiance to donald trump jr participated in a shockingly brazen bribery scheme by big fat greek scandal they're calling it according to the report guilfoyle asked trump donor eric deeters for one hundred thousand dollars to pay down her american express bill just ahead of her confirmation hearing and while we didn't previously know that kimberly guilfoyle was one hundred thousand dollars deep in credit card debt we did sort of spiritually instinctively know right we knew kimberly guilfoyle was in credit card debt the way freshly hashed sea turtles know they must crawl to the ocean ironically being deeply in debt and not knowing how to pay it back made her a perfect fit for greece see there some of the jokes are at the expense of republicans but occasionally greece is going to take a shot you know guilfoyle was privately lobbying the trump administration to help deeters with irs and legal issues in exchange for up to one million dollars if she was successful she was not successful as hard as she tried much like this convention speech leaders and fighters for freedom and liberty and the american dream the best is yet to come you very very uh forceful speech uh jake from kimberly guilfoyle forceful is one word for it but she still texted deeters asking for the additional one hundred thousand dollars in a way that would not leave a paper trail and it is smart to leave a paper trail when you're asking for no paper trail so that anyone who might look for a paper trail will see that you were too smart to leave a paper trail and call off the search wrote guilfoyle it won't show up anywhere if you wire money to american express that's all it will show please it won't show up anywhere not the wall street journal not john lovett's opening monologue not anywhere guilfoyle also texted honey please i need you to get this done for me today along with the praying emoji and a pdf with payment instructions via the signal app why am i on this replied the atlantic's jeffrey goldberg deeters however did not send her the money telling guilfoyle to send her the money to that it would end his marriage boy every relationship has its own challenges my mother was right about what she said at our wedding one day you would send a bribe to the ambassador to greece but hey sometimes ending a marriage is the best thing that could ever happen to you just ask gavin newsom he was he was married to kimberly guilfoyle oh you didn't know he's got to make sure people know isn't that wild life is long you know life is long deeters also told guilfoyle he would pay her one million dollars if she could land him an interview on tucker carlson show which also never materialized i have an in with him insisted guilfoyle you know that demon he says attacked him while he was sleeping that was me this is the biggest failure to secure one million dollars since my wednesday night appearance on who wants to be a millionaire yeah sure deeters and a local guitarist had also written a song called kentucky outlaw that he wanted guilfoyle to show kid rock here is a that's real here is a taste of the song which we can legally play as long as we comment on it that sucks the wall street journal also obtained screenshots in which guilfoyle warned deeters to stop talking about their corrupt arrangements in texts and emails in january of 2025 weeks after her nomination to the ambassadorship guilfoyle complained that deeters had told one of her podcast producers about their deal she wrote it's unbelievable when we have a private arrangement with you that you would now cc a producer talking about the money good luck babe your podcast producers are going to know everything about you there is no way around it oh that reminds me i have to kill producer bill added guilfoyle you'll literally cost me my ambassadorship stop writing see kim you're worried over nothing it didn't cost you your ambassadorship it does mean that you now need a pardon from donald trump the father of your ex-fiancee which even if you're on cordial terms isn't necessarily a lock i am on perfectly good terms with my almost mother-in-law mia farrow and i don't believe she'd want me to go to federal prison but until she signed the paperwork i would be nervous meanwhile trump said this week that the administration does not at present believe that a plague bioweapon has escaped from a russian lab they're saying it's very much under control so we hope not peter we've heard this before a couple years ago during your first term are you getting the same vibe right now from russia that you got from china at the start of covid well china didn't say much and russia's not saying much either but they do say they have it very much under control cool cool cool very reassuring very reassuring uh hey should we worry that dr fauci is driving from costco to costco buying all the toilet paper according to a new report in the atlantic the white house has asked the pentagon to draw up plans for a strike in iran to take place before election day with the giving the gop a boost in the midterms and yet on thursday trump ruled out a strike writing on true social we will not be attacking iran at any time prior to the midterm elections to be held in the united states on november 3rd said one iranian commander running from the bunker we are going to have the best fucking month of our lives hoping against hope that at least one of the other commanders also really really wants to kiss it's a welcome change after trump suggested iran go ahead and blow up san diego where pete hegseth traveled to greet the returning sailors of the uss abraham lincoln here he is running behind the marines at air station miramar look hegseth is 46 it makes sense that he can't keep up with active duty marines it'd be pretty tough even if he weren't sweating out pure gin hegseth is a world-class schmuck who should be impeached and ultimately sent to prison for war crimes but i saw a lot of people mocking him for his athletic prowess from the safety of their keyboards i just know that hegseth and i while having very little time to think about it i'm going to have to go to the hospital in common share the same reaction to being in our mid-40s complete and total denial because right now i too believe i can keep up with those marines hate to fall behind but love to bring up the rear am i right this guy knows what i'm talking about crooked media on ms now all right not that hegseth kept my sympathies for long because on thursday while aboard the uss lincoln the defense secretary said the public will be able to watch a live stream of the firing squad when it executes former army major nidal hassan who killed 12 soldiers and one civilian at fort hood in 2009 we know what it is it was a radical islamist attack in uniform inside the ranks and so he's going to get a firing squad of soldiers as it should be and we'll make sure that people are able to watch it that it's public because people need to understand that this is a there's serious consequences for these types of things that's smart pete only problem it's not exactly a deterrent for mass shooters craving infamy and attention who want to go out in a blaze of glory to stream their dramatic and exciting execution to the public one way to potentially create more mass shootings is to launch a new reality show called so you think you can shoot us speaking of gruesome reality shows and yet more leaked audio and a clip that is incredibly the most damning yet texas republican attorney general and yes ladies he's single ken paxton talks at a private fundraiser about cutting programs like social security and medicare making some reasonable cuts and mandatory spending you're going to have to do it or we were going to be there is no solution that's just a reality we have to suck it up we've been spending like crazy and no one seems to care i agree it's going to bankrupt us i would really like to pay my fair share of taxes which is less than i'm paying quite the cut up that republican lady uh ellen less generous over here if you actually listen really closely you also hear james talarico whisper into the microphone i'm james talarico and i approve this message meanwhile maine senator susan collins squared off against her democratic opponent troy jackson in a debate tuesday that focused on the impact of tariffs on maine troy mocked it but i was successful in getting concrete pulp and road salt removed from the tariff list i didn't mock the fact that she got road salt back i mocked the fact that what about everything else i mean we can't eat road salt maybe you can't eat road salt said health and human services secretary rfk jr chowing down on a flattened possum he described as dry brine in sexier news new york democratic congressional candidate chris gallant responded to a recent uncovered x-rated bdsm photo he took several years ago as part of an ad campaign for a fetish brand gallant would have addressed this earlier but he was under a gag order going back to less sexy news again on bill marshall author and journalist anon Ghirardardus made an important point about homelessness. - A pretty large chunk of those people who end up in cities were failed in some other parts of this country. There are a lot of families who fail the first duty of family, which is to love your kids more than any other thing. And there's a lot of families in this country that look at some verse in some book and choose the verse in the book over their child's face. Every time someone is sleeping on a subway bench in a city, the rest of America can sort of say, "Ah, look at these cities." But we are holding a lot of your people who you fail to love and take care of. - The clip has gone viral with a lot of people praising his point. "This is how it's done. "You never hear about this in the media." And "The secret to a perfect poached egg "from a Michelin chef." Though I do think that last one is just my algorithm. And it's true, there is a long history of cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles being a refuge for young people escaping hostile families and seeking a life where they could be gay or trans or whatever else in places with fewer bounds and greater possibility. There's a reason there are so many songs about California. It's been a beacon of freedom from opportunity and hot shirtless guys on roller skates for a long time. But this is a trap. Fox News blames every conceivable ill on the depraved coastal elites, on immigrants, on socialists and trans people. It's to lay guilt and provide an easy, satisfying answer, a confirmation of their viewers' moral superiority. And we can't slip into that same mentality as good as it might feel. I'm sure slipping into the La Brea Tar Pits feels awesome, for a minute. Last year, USC found as part of the 2025 Greater Los Angeles Homeless Count that nearly 80% of unhoused people had lived in Los Angeles County for more than five years before losing housing. The California statewide study of people experiencing homelessness out of UC San Francisco found that nine in 10 unhoused people were residents of California when they became homeless. According to LA's own homelessness agency, the unhoused are not, for the most part, made up of outsiders. They are people who live in our communities, but may have been priced out by an ever-increasing housing market. We see ourselves as morally superior, tolerant and welcoming and compassionate, but that is a lie. Oh, Alabama kicks their kids out because of the Bible. LA kicks people out because we won't allow construction of buildings over seven stories. Californians get priced out of housing every day. And where do they end up going? Conservative Texas, which by the way, has built more solar and wind power. I heard they even have a vegan running for Senate. And for those who stay in LA, how many live far from their jobs, sitting in traffic on crumbling roads, or waiting for slow and unreliable buses that require budgeting hours just to get to work, while our mayor and city council block housing construction, and our leaders hold a press conference to celebrate a new 10 mile transit line that won't be running till 2047, if we're lucky. On the bright side, if we all get in our cars now, we can arrive at the new K line station right when it opens. By the way, LA's homelessness agency, the one I mentioned earlier, it has wasted hundreds of millions of dollars through mismanagement and corruption, as the number of homeless people in the county is once again rising. It's actually hard to know how much money was actually squandered, because the previous CFO of this agency, and this is real, only had a degree in cultural anthropology. Listen, no offense to our cultural anthropologists, but your degree is a joke. Wow, that, you were right. There's too many cultural anthropologists that listen to this show. And while I'm at it, a decade ago in Los Angeles, no mosquitoes. Now, many mosquitoes. And it's a special kind of mosquito that bites during the day. We only got the fucking day walkers, fuck. Again, this is not a criticism of Anon, who has written eloquently on the causes of homelessness, and the ways we fail the most, the most vulnerable in our society. His point isn't wrong, but it is part of a more uncomfortable story about the chasm between our values and our actions. What's broken in Los Angeles cannot be laid at the feet of Trump, or Fox News, or some anti-gay hillbilly pastor. The homelessness crisis in California is no one's shame, but ours. The allure of Donald Trump has always been that he tells supporters you don't have to change, or grow, or compromise, or suffer even one uncomfortable thought, that plus his big, beautiful ass. And it is no coincidence that Trump's influence grows alongside algorithmic feeds, which encourage the same easy, self-satisfied, Manichaean view of politics in the world. And we have to defeat that Trumpian mindset, but not only in these midterms. We have to defeat it in ourselves. Otherwise, we'll never achieve our ultimate goal, destroying Christmas once and for all. On Thursday, the trial began for an Ohio man charged with harassment after he sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state letter. Sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state letter. When asked why he Shrexted the politician, the Ohio man replied, "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed." But don't worry. We are going to show you the image he sent. You have three seconds to avert your eyes or put on your glasses. Here it is. A man was arrested for sending this picture. He spent a day in jail. First, they came for the guy who sent a picture of Shrek's dong, and I didn't speak up because I was simply too horny. Free that pervert. Ohio, that is not harassment. That's funny. And by the way, think about the mindset of a state senator who calls the police after getting that. The police? Shut up. Can't call the police for looking at Shrek's hog. In Milwaukee, a woman was arrested for pretending to be a substitute teacher because she was bored. Folks, you can just do things. 24-year-old Amy Jones signed in to enter the building, went into a classroom, and allegedly called the students fucking lame and annoying for not having weed. She also disparaged the students over their weight and bragged about the felonies she'd committed. "Oh, Captain, my captain," said the children. And finally, this October, authorities confirmed the first rabid raccoon in LA County in over 50 years and the most rabid bats ever recorded. So happy Halloween, everybody, and see you at the hospital. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight, and we'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. There's more of "Love It or Leave It" coming up. - "Love It or Leave It" is brought to you by Helix. A good night's rest sets you up for a great day, so if your mattress isn't doing its job, neither can you. It's time to upgrade your sleep. That's where Helix, the most awarded mattress brand on the market, comes in. Helix custom builds your mattress based on your sleep needs. Just take the two-minute Helix sleep quiz to determine your best fit. They deliver your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the US. Plus, you can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges and a 365-night sleep trial as part of the Happy with Helix guarantee. I love my Helix mattress. I have a Dawn Lux, super comfortable. I took the quiz, and that's what I got. It's just a great mattress, and I sleep better when I'm home because of it. It's comfortable, great for, you know, streaming a show. Hey, you wanna watch "Silo"? Yeah, in a comfortable bed, even better. Like, why are they at "Silo"? You know, how'd they get there? Who built it? What's up with that silo? Go to helixsleep.com/loveit for 27% off site-wide. This offer's exclusive to "Love It or Leave It" listeners. That's helixsleep.com/loveit for 27% off site-wide. helixsleep.com/loveit for 27% off site-wide. "Love It or Leave It" is brought to you by Z Biotics. As the weather cools down and our schedules fill up, fall naturally changes how we approach our social life and morning routines. Between tailgate parties, cozy dinners, and holiday gatherings, staying on top of your game means planning ahead, especially when nights out are involved. That's why you need Z Biotics pre-alcohol. Z Biotics pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was engineered by PhD microbiologists to break down acetaldehyde. You don't want it, and it's an unwanted buy, byproduct of alcohol metabolism. Make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night, drink responsibly, and enjoy your next day activities. Z Biotics has sold more than 14 million bottles and earned the trust of thousands, including us. Get rid of this acetaldehyde. I love Z Biotics, it's great. You should use it. Try it for yourself today, and if you're unsatisfied, they will refund your entire order, no questions asked. Head to zbiotics.com/loveit, code "loveit" for 15% off your first order. When you're gonna have a couple drinks, you feel better the next day. It works. It's like a wedding. So, zbiotics.com/loveit, code "loveit." zbiotics.com/loveit, code "loveit." - And we're back! All right, we'll be joined by Congresswoman Sarah McBride and Congressman Derek Tran in just a moment, but first, CrookedCon is less than 30 days away. It is a chance for political nerds, pollsters, organizers, journalists, creators, and crooked hosts to gather in one place in real life just days after the election. We'll be hosting an episode of "Love It or Leave It" on November 6th, plus a panel at the all-day CrookedCon event on Saturday, November 7th. You can check out the lineup and get tickets for both "Love It or Leave It" and the full-day CrookedCon at crookedcon.com. All right, now this is a reminder. Please call your congressperson. Sometimes they will come on your podcast. All right, please welcome to the show, it's Congressman Derek Tran and Congresswoman Sarah McBride. All right, let's start with this. Okay, the polls are good. The environment for Republicans is bad, but let's get our heads in the game. What worries you? And if you wake up and there was no wave or the wave was less than we imagined, what is it that you think right now we're either missing or not taking seriously enough? Well, first of all, it's great to be back on, and this is a big exclusive. This is the first time we've had the trans caucus in Congress appear together, so it's a big scoop for you. No, it's huge, it's huge. Look, this is an important day for the trans community. That's right, that's right. You know, as you mentioned, the polls are looking good, and it does feel like something big is about to happen. We are seeing right now hundreds of millions of dollars being spent by Republicans in a last-ditch effort to try to divide and misdirect the public's attention. We're seeing them trot out the same tired political strategy from 2024, and that is to try to distract the American people from the fact that they are lining the pockets of the wealthiest 1% by going after some of the most vulnerable 1% in our society right now. But what I'm seeing right now is that the American people are seeing through that. They're not falling for it, and they are ready to turn out. The thing that keeps me up at night is that we are in such a good position in a number of polls that people might be complacent, that people might take a victory for granted. I'm also concerned that there are many people in our own party who are so fearful about some of the most dramatic scenarios that people worry about, that they're catastrophizing, that people might scare themselves into not participating. And so I think right now, obviously there are still a few weeks left. There's a lot of time for things to change. But right now, if the data is accurate and if the sense that I'm sure Derek is also feeling, on the ground is there in November, I think as long as we don't take it for granted, we're going to have a Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. What do you think? No, no, I agree with Sarah 100%. When I'm out there, everything feels good. I'm talking to folks. They feel good about this. They're pissed off for all the right reasons. But my thing is, we're worried about a free and fair election. And when we have our ICE institutions and CPB officers, or God forbid, the National Guard at our polling places, that is worrisome to me. And that is what keys me up. But I think, you know, we're going to do the right thing. The courts are going to do the right thing. They're going to stop him. But that fear is still there. We're prepared for the worst, but are obviously hoping for the best. And I think, to what I was saying, we have a voter protection effort, to Derek's point, that is unrivaled. We have significant precedent on our side from the courts, especially if he tries to do something with the Insurrection Act. I think we have to be clear with the American people that there is going to be a fair election in November, and that the law is on our side. And at the end of the day, in part to prepare for the worst, we have to steal a line from Donald Trump, have a victory that is too big to rig. That's right. Yeah. So let's hope, let's hope for the best. What do you think the first priorities should be if, knocking on wood, nothing taken for granted, nothing is certain, but what do you think the priorities should be for a Democratic House? Do you want to go first? Yeah, I think it's health care. I think that's what we've been messaging about. I think that's when I talk to my community and my constituents. That's what they care about. You know, they don't have their health. They can't go to work. They don't have their health. They can't take care of their family and be with their family. It is something that I've talked to leadership about in the Democratic Caucus that we, we got to do more and we got to do better and we see the gutting from this administration hurting so many individuals with HR1 and his big bullshit bill. You know, this is where we can come in and we make a difference and I think it's, it's expanding health care and I really think that's where we can make our mark. How do you think about the, look, the person that would have to sign a bill to make reforms to health care would be a man named Donald Trump. How do you think about what, if, let's say there's either a Democratic House and a Republican Senate or ideally both, both chambers are Democratic. Either way, you're getting something to Donald Trump's desk. How do you think about that? Well, I think this is one of the fundamental questions that we're facing right now, which is the realistic outcome, obviously, that there's still going to be divided government, that Donald Trump will still be in the White House. And look, I think when it comes to health care, I think Derek's absolutely right that restoring the care, the care that was cut in the big ugly bill has to be the number one item on our agenda. We can use all of the leverage that we have at our disposal from appropriations bills to hearings to leverage that power to try to get that care restored. I have a theory that Donald Trump didn't really care about the Medicaid cuts. He just wanted his funding for ICE and his tax breaks for billionaires. He knew that he had this unholy alliance with congressional Republicans, which is he gets, that's what he wants on corruption, on immigration and on tariffs, and they get to dictate the policies on everything else. He knew it was going to be deeply unpopular to cut Medicaid, but he knew he needed to have that in the bill to get some of the hardline Freedom Caucus members to support the big ugly bill. I don't know whether he's going to want to die, politically die on the hill of continuing the Medicaid cuts. And I think the leverage that we will have, our capacity with the gavels and with appropriations bills, increases the chance with this president that we could restore that funding. But I think more broadly, this isn't just about reversing or reducing the harm of this administration. It also has to be about lowering the costs for the American people on all of the issues that are keeping them up at night. And it means laying the foundation for a big, bold, transformational policy agenda for 2028 and beyond. And I think there are sort of three buckets that I'd really like to see us lead on. This is my personal opinion. But the first is, Leader Jeffries appointed me to be one of the co-conveners of a caregiving working group. It's one of five working groups outlining the affordability agenda for our caucus in the first 100 hours, first 100 days, and first year. And I believe that we can unite the full spectrum of our caucus, from progressives to moderates, around bold caregiving policy, paid family and medical leave for all, universal child care, investments in home care and elder care, so that it's actually affordable to start a family and take care of your loved ones again in this country. I believe that we have to build on our progress that we actually made with bipartisan support around housing by creating a federally funded construction workforce program that puts people back to work and ensures we have the workforce necessary for when we pass meaningful investments in housing construction to actually build that new housing at scale and at speed. And those are jobs that'll put people back to work in fields that are more immune to the impact of AI. And that's, I think, the third thing that we have to focus on. Which is meaningful regulation of big tech, specifically AI, to protect workers, to protect our safety, and to protect our democracy. Congressman, so Thomas Massey introduced articles of impeachment against Pete Hegseth. So we're going to have these battles over the forward-looking agenda. We're going to be in budget battles with Donald Trump where there's going to be this tough deal-making, right? There's going to be questions about what health care cuts can be undone. I pity anyone that will then be facing a choice around whether they would accept refunding Medicaid and increasing the funding for the Pentagon to make up for the hole created by the Iran war, a decision that is coming for all of you. So good luck messaging that. But as that's going on, people are demanding accountability. They want investigations. Do you think the Massey argument for impeachment is a good one? What do you think about it? - No, absolutely. I got the opportunity to question it. I was in Hegseth in one of the Haas hearings, and I can tell you this man is ill-equipped to lead our troops, right? I do believe that accountability is extremely important. And I think when we look at where we are right now and the suffering that's going on around us, if we're going to get in control of Congress and we have the gavels, we have to first address that pain point that so many American families, so many Americans out there are facing. That is our priority. The accountability part of all of this, absolutely we can walk and chew gum at the same time. And we're going to do that. You know, it's not just Hegseth, him being incompetent. It's also this administration that is, you know, insanely grifting off of, you know, everything. It's corruption everywhere. And that is so frustrating. And one point to the last question you had, I think we can't lose sight of the fact that us winning control, even though we may not get any bills passed, we can stop this administration and make them a lame duck. That's so important. So there's a lot of Republicans that may not be returning to their jobs. - God willing. - Are there any Republican members of the House who you would, even if your mind knows you want them to lose, your heart will be a little sad? Is there any person that you're like, I do want them to lose, but I'm going to miss seeing them around? - No. - Really? No, not a single one? - Look, there are Republicans who are perfectly pleasant. There are, in private, there are Republicans who you can work with on some issues, but we have had a front row seat to their cruelty, to their chaos, to their corruption. We have a front row seat to the blank check that they have given this administration. And after all of that, I don't care whether you're perfectly pleasant in the hallway, democracy is far too important for that. And even in my heart, I believe that. - Okay. - Well said, sir. - You were a cook in the army? - I was. - So my childhood friend, Frank Costanza, he was a cook in the army. Hey, what's the longest I can keep to keep potatoes? - Until they turn black? - Until they turn, yeah. What is there, you know, the USS Lincoln, were struggling because they were uh stuck at sea they weren't getting enough supplies were you ever in a position where you had to figure out uh how to make a be part of making a good meal with with less than what you need like was there ever a point where you're like i know what to do i know how to make all this work together no i think i think that's a great question um i've never had the opportunity of serving on a ship thank god because uh i was army and not navy and one of the things that um you know we were so blessed with is the fact that our government took care of us and we made they made sure that there was enough food there's enough rations you know we got the orders that we needed to come in um what they did on the uss lincoln was insane um to keep them out that long to to there was countless countless numbers of suicide attempts um the fact that you know this administration through um this defense secretary secretary of war whatever you want to call them um it's just incompetent and unable to to control and manage what's going on um says a lot about why we need to make sure that we got to win this this november you know that's plain and simple i read uh homage to catalonia by george orwell and it was about his time uh serving in a militia during the spanish civil war against franco and then he gets shot uh randomly and he barely survives he ends up in a spanish hospital and he said that even when spain was incompetent across very many uh avenues they always had incredible meals in the hospital but you weren't really hungry because he'd been shot in the neck but they would still try to make him eat all the soup yeah look look food is a morale booster right and i think the military understands that um so you know i i love my job and if they didn't like me um anyone mistreated me they got half portions that's cool that's cool use the power that you have hey do you cook ever i do cook do you really what do you make what do you make you ever roast a whole chicken i have i've roasted roasted a whole chicken once i do the turkey every thanksgiving oh you do my family yeah and i've only cooked it properly once out of five years uh i um uh uh spatchcocked and and dry brined a turkey and then that morning my fridge died and i did almost cry i'll be honest but then i called around and i got one last turkey and then i made it much more quickly this year you know what i want to do i'll tell you i want to fully debone the turkey and then i want to roll it wow have you heard of this you can roll it you can take a whole turkey every every part of a turkey you take the bones completely out then you put like herbs and stuff and then you roll it it's like a like a and then it just cooks like a log and you slice it and your every slice gets everything a little light made a little dark but everything's moist and it's even i'm gonna make a turkey log um so congress hey what reality show are you watching i'm gonna start on saturday the new season of traders oh you are great have you watched ultimate girls trip are you watching ultimate girls i've never i haven't watched is it worth watching it was great just wrapped highly recommend because we've talked about this in the past the sort of reality tvfication yes of our congress and each time we talk you've sort of uh evolved in your appreciation of the ways in which reality tv has wrecked either our culture or the people uh within it so i think traders is interesting do you think that next that uh when the um the lefties and the mods are duking it out uh on the house side you can bring some of the wisdom of watching traders to that i would love to be the alan cummings of that dispute yes yeah please ah he's so do you all watch traders okay good do you watch any reality show i don't i got a job you what i got a job oh okay all right sorry sorry you're hard people of delaware and watch traders we're just the same yeah uh you're a member of congress not sure why you're wearing a robe and holding a gavel you're judging us uh oh hey do you think um donnie to convince trump that medicare for all was his idea absolutely he has a spell on that man i have not seen a crush like that it's cool as an elementary school i think we need to dispatch him to make trump think that all i like trump is gettable on some of these issues absolutely absolutely trump has no core other than personal enrichment and so if you can just flatter him he often does what you want he's the most manipulated man to ever occupy the white house i think he's the most manipulated man to ever occupy the white house so that's something to look forward to uh well now that i have you both it's time for the first annual meeting of the joint orange county delaware tourism board uh congresswoman mcbride congressman tran in the interest in the interest of driving up tourism i'm going to picture two beautiful districts against each other tonight we're going to definitively answer the age-old question what's the most beautiful place on earth orange county or delaware you will both defend your state and i famously neutral john lovett will rule on the winner that's right baby i'm like avocado oil neutral john lovett will rule on the winner that's right baby i'm like avocado oil neutral john lovett neutral with a high smoke point what uh the stakes are very high because whichever place wins that's where i'm going on my honeymoon all right uh here we go first up all right old bay or sriracha what do you think sriracha all the way i mean i guess i have to say old bay but i do love sriracha more personally wow wow that point goes to orange county damn i mean you didn't even defend it you didn't even defend it the state birds delaware blue hen chick or the california quail i mean i mean the the delaware blue hen is wonderfully encapsulated in our university of delaware mascot and so we actually celebrate this which i don't know if you even knew that your state bird was the quail is that right that's the and you share it with the rest of the state of california look i can tell you the blue hen tastes delicious oh that's right we eat we eat your mascot you don't eat ours ha and they're fighting and we all want fighters right now in the democratic party so fight and blue hens oh yeah the fight and blue hens okay i'm gonna give that one to the california quail what sorry come on okay next up weird you're sorry take it up with the judge weird law delaware it's illegal to get married on a dare versus orange counties you can't own a pig in seal beach though some exceptions might be made so this is an interesting one because in a sense isn't every marriage on a dare the day the dare of happiness in the future you know on some point i'm so all marriage is illegal in delaware yeah in a sense there's never been a legal marriage in delaware which is cool everybody's sort of living in sin in the state of delaware every marriage is a dare i never thought about that for i dare you to marry me that's what it is will you marry me is i dare you marry me you're gonna bet the rest of your life on who i am right now i was so different six months ago what will i be like six months from now and don't you want to own a pig on your honeymoon on a seal beach you bet i do so you can't do orange county i choose delaware there you go yes finally although orange county did say they would consider issuing permits to some pigs are you aware of this pig traversy i did not know wow it says that you could have a service pig is an exception that's fun huh i have a service pig service anything yeah you could have a service for any of the airlines yeah those people that brought those service horses on the plane really fucked it up for the rest of us that were lying about our dogs it's like of course i'm not lying about our dog i'm lying about my dog everybody be cool about it now i can't bring my dog on the plane because some asshole brought a service peacock this sucks it's like we're all guys it's just to save 150 bucks everybody be chill about it this is an emblematic of the excesses of the left absolutely for sure 100 percent um let's see knott's berry farm or the rehoboth beach boardwalk including funland and the funland haunted mansion well i i hate to tell you the haunted mansion is actually closed right now for renovations but an even better haunted mansion to come no no no you can walk from the haunted mansion down the boardwalk to baltimore avenue where there are a ton of gay bars including aqua where i like to go and you can have a shot with me at aqua wow can i do that at knott's berry farm walk from knott's berry farm to disneyland happy place on oh that's interesting walk to an even better theme park kind of sad for knott's berry farm hey can i ask you a question derrick tran did they rename montezuma's revenge because when i was a kid and i went to knott's berry's farm they had a ride called montezuma's revenge i remember it i've been on it is it open still or i think they closed it i'm gonna be honest i'm gonna be honest i don't know i haven't been to knott's berry farm in a minute i like when names like that are grandfathered in like this is a ride named after a racist diarrhea trope oh i'm gonna give that one to delaware i am absolutely i am i'm sorry thank you because of the shot with me what yeah because i get a shot with you there's there's you know knott's berry farm where you eat some berries no state or local sales tax in delaware versus no equivalent found self-explanatory yeah i don't know you're gonna this is gonna be a tough one for you congressman tram because uh it's not your fault a lot of local taxes here in california they really get us coming and going but it's it's california versus delaware no i know that you get more bang for your buck in delaware not only do we have no sales tax but housing i think is three times less expensive but it's delaware in orange county you can get a beautiful beautiful home in rehoboth beach as a rental for probably what you'd have to pay for one day in orange county you can get for a week in delaware and you know you can get your more bang for your buck uh in delaware and more bang for your whatever in rehoboth it's not a dock in provincetown it's not a dog that's right oh no oh no you saw that clip fuck all right um i'm gonna give this one oh come on to delaware you both ably defended your states uh i'm gonna declare the winner the great state of california 100 i think i was rigged feel good interesting i want to read this one i'm gonna read this one i'm gonna read this one i'm gonna read this one interesting thank you both we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Trees.com. Listeners of this show have heard us talk about our love of the online plants to our fast-growing trees for years, but now they've got a new name. It's Trees.com. It's simple. It's chic. It's still America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 3 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, houseplants, and shrubs. All grown with care and guarantee to arrive healthy. Whatever you're looking for, Trees.com helps you find options that actually work for your climate, space, and lifestyle. Trees.com makes it easy to get your dream yard. Just click order grow and get healthy, thriving plants delivered to your door. Their Thrive and Alive guarantee promises that your plants arrive healthy and happy. No green thumb required, just quality plants you can count on. We have plants and trees from Trees.com here at Crooked HQ. They've arrived looking very healthy and have been easy to care for thanks to the experts at Trees.com. Their only problem before was that website. Now it's solved because they've got Trees.com. And right now they have great deals on planting essentials up to half off select plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their purchase when using the code LOVEIT at check. That's an additional 20% off better plants and better growing at Trees.com using the code LOVEIT at checkout. Trees.com, code LOVEIT. Now is the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use LOVEIT to save today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. You can see my next guest on her stand-up tour with dates coming up in Fresno, California and Colorado Springs. She's also the co-host of the Handsome Podcast. Please welcome Tig Notaro. Tig Notaro, the host of Handsome Podcast. Now, I would like to start with something of a rift between us. Something of a row. Something of a Donnybrook. I feel like we have a few of those. Well, I'll start with one and we'll go from there. Which is, you recently invited Ari and me to your home for a lovely dinner. And when we walked through the door, you said something that did catch me off guard. Okay. And you said, and I quote, I'm so glad we drew your names out of the hat. And I reacted a little bit. I would say I was ever so slightly put off by the idea that we were invited to your house based on some sort of a lottery. Some sort of a bingo style auction that you held with Stephanie. And now, then I was sort of mercilessly attacked for the remainder of the evening. And when I brought this up with the team at Love It or Leave It, they also felt that I was wrong. Yeah. So defend me. Defend your idea of choosing us at random to come over. I told you it wasn't totally at random. First of all, I can never get over how cute your face is. As gay as I am, I'm always just like, how is it that that face was even designed? Thanks. Yeah, thanks to the good guy. But anyway, what happened was Stephanie and I. Well, I told her I wanted to start socializing a bit more because, you know, we have our family, our kids, we're working. And there's so many people in our lives. Don't read your cards. You asked me a question. So there are people in our lives that we adore because they have cute faces. There are people that we want to get to know better. And then we just thought, let's make a really. A solid list of who those people are. And it's a good list. And then we're going to throw it in a hat. There's actually no hat. Okay. No, there's a hat. It's a good looking hat. It's. Yeah. So we just throw some names in there and we picked yours out. And I think that is very. It's not random. Do you understand? It didn't start out random. And then there was a slight randomness. After. But the list is not random. How many names were in the hat? It was just you and Ari and the people that were there. How many names? No. I would say. This will help, I think. I would say there's probably like. I'm actually nervous. Forty names. And there was like, what, eight of us? Pretty good odds. It's really good odds. All right. And then, well, two of those were me and Stephanie. Right. So there were six. There were six. Okay. Yeah. So six out of 40. So three out of 20. It's about a little less than a little more than one in seven chance that we were going to get invited. It's pretty good. Wouldn't you say that's a pretty decent. Like, would you be offended if you were invited to this party? I wasn't offended. I was something between miffed and offended. Miffed and offended. Would you have? Would you have felt that way? People. Right. See, you're wrong again. Thanks a lot. It was free to take my side. It was lovely. And I wasn't. Once you explained it, it made sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I got over it. Eventually, I got over it. Well, we're talking about it here. Hey, you were recently in Tennessee. I was. And you were doing standup. Uh-huh. And when you're doing standup in a tent. It's what I do. It's what you're known for. Even if I'm not funny, it's what I do. That's what I tell my audiences. Go ahead. No, that's a great note. Yeah. That's a good thing to tell them. Uh, you're in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I was. And I have to assume that you're sort of, uh, I don't know, uh, uh, how well known are you in Chattanooga, Tennessee? What happens when you go to Chattanooga, Tennessee? Well, uh, thanks for asking. Um, I, I, I, well, you know, the show, I, I did two shows. So one sold out. So there's a second show, right? Cool. And, um, the next morning I went into a coffee shop to get a coffee for the road and, uh, I'm not. I'm not bragging. So everybody get off my back. But I walked into a coffee shop and the seven people that were there recognized me, had no idea I'd had a show there. Okay. The people behind the counter recognized me. And then after all of that happens, a woman walks in behind me, missed the whole thing. And then she says, um, why do you look so familiar to me? And Stephanie, my wife had told me before. You should just immediately say, I'm a comedian and an actor because I used to say, oh yeah, I don't know. Just to kind of skip past it. Yeah. Yeah. But we never would skip past it cause they'd want to figure it out. So there I am using what Stephanie told me. I'm a comedian and actor. And she said, um, uh, but what's your job? And, uh, I said, well, I'm a comedian and actor. So I used it again. Trying to get it right. Trying to get out of this. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, she, she cut me off quickly and she said, I heard you. And she said, um, uh, but, uh, I'm wondering, uh, do you go to a lot of beer events around here? I said, uh, I don't. And I don't go to many beer events ever anywhere. Um, and, uh, so that's about how I'm known in Chattanooga. Pretty good. I would say it's pretty good for Chattanooga. I would say everyone but her seemed to know me. As far as. As far as you know. As far as you know, everyone but that one lady. And she did kind of know you. Yeah. Couldn't place it. Yeah. She couldn't place it. Right. But she'll see me on here. Oh. One can only hope. I did a show in Chattanooga. Did you? Yeah. How'd that go? It's pretty good. Yeah. You know, their pride is in October down there. Pride is in October. Yeah. They keep it in October. Why? I don't know. For October beer fest. You think it might be tied to beer fest? Well. I thought it might have been the heat. I was thinking of this woman who asked if I go to beer events. Well, was it October when you were there? No. I just got back. Yes. It was. Yes. In fact, it was October. Hey. Speaking of. We're doing great. I like that both of us. That like. That. That's. That's. That Stephanie is like your behind the scenes coach being like, hey, I just watched that interaction. In the future, we're going to try a different method. And I get the same from Ari. Ari does that for me a little bit. Ari's like, hey, what you did there, that was weird. You were weird. You're the reason. You were the reason. That interaction you just had. Your fault. That you're confused about. Yeah. You did that. Yes. That's your fault. Yeah. And then I learn and I grow and I change. Yes. You know? I tried to, but beer fest lady in Chattanooga was not having it. Yeah. I heard you. What's the truth though? I am a comedian and actor. Next. Hey, it's spooky season. Yes. Are you decorating for Halloween? Halloween? How did you come up with this question, John? Look at the cards we got. Look how much. This was the last time you were here, we didn't have these. Oh, man. Things are looking up. Things are really good. On MS now. We, our kids are 10. We have twin boys. And we went, we took them when they were, how old were they? Three to CVS. And they bought all of the, no offense, CVS. Yes. But the CVS. We had garbage in the Halloween aisle, and we have had that ever since. And so when I just got back from Chattanooga, I pulled up and I was like, oh, right. So Halloween's coming up. It just looks like CVS drove by and just threw garbage in our yard and kept going. So yes, we decorate. You know what I was thinking about when you said, no offense, CVS? If CVS was a person, I think they would not be offendable. I think they'd have a kind of sturdy attitude. and they'd know their failures and their successes, and they'd be pretty even about it. Sounds like me. You just described me. Yeah, I think that is like you. You and CVS have that in common. Yeah. You know your strengths, you know your weaknesses. You're not easily offended. But you're saying if CVS was a person, I'm like, here I am. Yeah, sure. You're friends with CVS. In a sense. Yeah. In a sense. Then it's interesting to think, how would you be, what's Walgreens like? And I think similar. I don't know. A little wackier. CVS doesn't invite Walgreens to their pull-out-of-the-hat party. Walgreens not in the hat. It's too complicated. Sorry, Walgreens. It's too complicated for, you know. They tried to be friends, but they just couldn't, you know. Too much in common. I know. Too much in common. Some people are too similar to be friends. What are we talking about? I'm not sure. How do you decide what to land on? Well, I don't really know. Hey. Yeah. Besides your dry wit and incredible charisma, you're also best known for not knowing much at all about anything. In that spirit, it's time for a segment we're calling TIGs Say the Darnedest Things. And here's how it works. I'm going to present you with a recent news story and ask, do you know about this? Okay. This is going to be humiliating. You just say yes or no. I follow the news more than I follow pop culture. Why don't we just see what comes up and see if that's true? Here we go. First up. Do you know about this? The Ballad of Stella Lefty. You know who Stella Lefty is? Yes, I do. She's a country singer. Uh-huh. I follow music and documentaries mostly. Yes, I am aware of Stella Lefty. Her song, Boston. She has a few songs. She's been in. Do you want me to tell you what I know? Yeah, that's the point. Yeah. She's written some songs. She has some songs out there that people think sound a lot like other songs. Yeah, they bear an uncanny resemblance to similar songs. And it's also a little strange to sing a song about Boston nearby the place the original song was written. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It was about when you're not from Boston. You know what I mean? If you're going to take a song that has a melody that's about Vermont, it's weird to then sing a similar song about Boston. Sing about something far away from Boston. Right. You know? How far away from Boston? When you think. The distance shouldn't matter now that you think about it. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay. That's all we need to know. I think. You know what? Take new about that. Steve Hilton's Lesbo ad. Do you know about that? Steve Hilton's Lesbo. Lesbo ad. Yeah. Like, meaning lesbian? That's right. Uh-huh. I said Lesbo. Yeah. Like, they would have said in the movie, Look Who's Talking in 1989. Well, you know. When I learned the word. What I call myself. What?. is Lesbo Baggins. It's because you eat so many meals. That's right. I also just call any lesbian Lesbo Baggins. Oh, cool. Yeah. Republican candidate for governor, Steve Hilton, here in California, received backlash for a horny campaign ad, which likens votes for Steve Hilton to having lesbian sex for the first time. And we do have a clip. Oh. I can't believe I'm doing this. Don't be nervous. It's not that bad. I've just never done anything like this before. Like, what if my dad finds out? Just try it. Look, give me your hand. Close your eyes. And I'll do all the work. I didn't realize how long this part goes on. See? And she. That's. Sorry. That's great. I don't think the lesbians should vote for Steve Hilton, but that's pretty good. Hey, as a lesbian, publicly lesbian, what's your reaction to that? I love it. Not a single note. No, it's really good. I'm. So I can, like, go home and Google that? I can show Stephanie and my kids. It's on all the computers. My kids? You bet. That's the craziest thing about it. Next up, we have. Is this a cell phone? It's in a sense. In a sense. What is it? It's an old radio. It's a real old radio. It works, I think. We got it for the show. This is a radio show. Because this is, like, what radio became. I got it. Okay. Yeah. Have you heard about AI. Let's not move this. Let's not lose this momentum. Have you heard of AI stand-up Tiffany Sloan? No. Rather than. Let's just show you a clip. I have a lot of mixed friends. Anyone mixed in here? Hell yeah. What are you, my guy? German. German and English. Okay, you're white. My comments are just men saying hi. 4,000 of them. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi! And not one of them said, Hi, here's rent. Wait, that's not a real person. No. What is happening? We've made a series of mistakes. And basically. You and I have. Yep. Well, here's the thing. We are responsible. Some doors lock. Some doors lock behind you. And several have locked behind our society. We kept walking through doors and then trying them to get back through, but we actually can't. We're through that. Is she popular? Because she's good. No, listen. She's good. She's really good. She's really. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. She's really good. Here's the thing. If she walked into a coffee shop in Chattanooga. Yeah, nobody's confused about where they know her from. When. Is she. She is pop. Like, she has a big following? The clips are going viral. All the jokes are stolen. So they're going through. Basically, some of them are manufactured. My understanding of it, and someone can correct me if I'm wrong. And her name is what? It's Tiffany Sloan. Oh, I thought. Not Tiffany Lefty. No, that's Lefty. That's the. A lot of thievery going on. Yeah, listen. Yes, we've sort of. You know, we stopped going to church and then things really kind of went downhill. So. John and Tig stopped going to church. Yep. This happened. Yeah, absolutely. And then that comedian. And that entity. Yeah, the jokes are either stolen or kind of crafted from other comedians, material, and they just put another comedian's. Like, I saw a video of a comedian saying, hey, that's my joke. And it's just like kind of a dude. And then you go, and it's just this sort of like. This sort of, you know. I don't know what you'd describe that shape as. This shape-leaf woman. Yeah. made of AI. Yeah. doing his material. Right. Which is not good. No, no, no, no. You don't think that. I mean, a great comedian shouldn't. Even someone as good as Tiffany Sloan shouldn't be stealing other people's work. You should definitely not be stealing people's work. And we've always said that. Yeah. Me and you. Everybody head to tignitaro.com. Oh, that's it. for a ticket. That's it for now. Oh. You're going to hang for a bit. Everybody go to tignitaro.com for tickets to see her on tour and listen to Handsome wherever you get your podcasts. And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've been on the fence about therapy, now is the perfect time to explore it through our longtime partner, BetterHelp. Insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, which hopefully reminds us all about the importance of prioritizing our mental and emotional well-being. Therapy isn't just for big life choices or major crises. It can be a place to talk through smaller everyday frustrations and roadblocks, the work situation, taking up too much mental real estate, a relationship dynamic you can't quite name, or simply the sense that something feels off. You got to get therapy. All those things happen to everybody. You know, you need it. And if you can get it, you should. If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 425 health plan networks. And eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. If you don't have insurance or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com slash loveit to explore your payment options. That's betterhelp.com slash loveit. And we're back. We're joined once again by Congresswoman McGrind and Congressman Tran. It's time for The Rant Wheel. Here's how it works. We spin the wheel. Wherever it lands, we talk about it. You have 60 seconds to rant about a topic of your choosing. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Sarah McBride. Yes! Take us away. Well, picking up on a topic we talked about earlier, I do not believe that celebrity reality shows are better than civilian reality shows. I am tired. I am tired of seeing people go on these shows who don't have their lives at stake if they win or lose. It's probably why both of you failed at Who Wants to Be a Millionaire the other day. You're playing for a charity. You're not playing for your own success. And so we don't see the ruthless gameplay that we need to see on those TV shows. And I gotta tell ya, I know everyone's gameplay when they're a celebrity. And so do all the other contestants. Except for you when you were on Survivor because none of the other contestants knew who you were. They were lying, they did know. They were lying, and they did know. I have proof. I can prove it. The gameplay is less ruthless. They can't deceive one another. It's not as good TV. And none of this applies to you because even if you went on Traitors, Celebrity Traitors, no one would know your gameplay since you got voted out of Survivor on the first episode. So you're all good. Don't worry about it. Doesn't apply to you. Wow. I believe it's a new record seamlessly making a genuine point while insulting me three times over the course of 60 years. - 60 seconds, pretty impressive. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Tegnotaro. Let's see. What do I want to rant about? Well, I do want to warn you right up top. My ranting is not much of a rant, but I will tell you that traveling a lot, bathrooms are tough for me, mainly, though, germ issues. Germ issue. I know we all have our different reasons here for bathrooms. I hear you. Girl, I know you hear me. But, girl, have you ever been in a bathroom stall and then right. Nancy Mace has forbidden me from using it. Well, I'm here to tell you, be glad. Because, you know how the little area is open where you can reach to the other stall? No. No. You've never even been where a toilet is? Never. Okay, well, here's the thing. Somebody at the airport put a pillow down. Oh, great. Tell us more, because I've actually heard this also. By the way, I also heard about this at the raffle I won. I won a raffle to come to dinner with. You want me to talk more about it? It's so disgusting. They put a pillow on the ground. Okay, the end. Somebody put a pillow on the ground. Exactly my point. It's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. And that's all I can say in my rant over and over is how disgusting it is. However, there are pluses to bathrooms, public bathrooms, one of them being that I overheard a woman. in the stall next to me with her probably two-year-old, who she was probably traveling alone with. She locked the child in the stall with her while she was going to the bathroom, and I got to hear the little kid say, Ooh, Mommy, gross! It stinks! And she was like, Shh, stop it! Quiet! It stinks, Mommy, gross! I would prefer that than seeing a pillow on the ground. I think that's such an important point. It really is, and I'm so glad I could be a part of these brilliant people up here and talk about smelly, gross things in bathrooms. I know there's bigger issues in bathrooms. Not that I can think of. I think it's all pretty well set other than the gross thing. Well, there's my rant. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Woo! It has landed on me. I have a very specific and very small rant. And I've ranted about many things, and so I've ranted about serious and big issues before, and you know that I care about big and important things. This is not one of those things. Here's what I believe. We've sent a man to the moon. We've achieved amazing things. There's an app on my phone that can translate any language, and that also may end life on Earth. That's impressive. Hard to do. Uh. I think that when you open a tin of fish, it should be closeable. That's it. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but what I don't like is that when I open a can of anchovies, the opening of the can is kind of an insuperable boundary to closing it again. And you really only have two options, which is to force it closed and kind of nudge the little metal thing under and then either hope for the best or wrap it in tinfoil super quickly. Then when you open it, it's fish surprise. Or you put the whole fucking thing in a Ziploc bag and then kind of push it closed and then put it under something in the fridge. And I just think we can do better. Yes. That's all. It's a very small thing. You know? I was listening. I do, yes. Because I, you know, I'll open up a can of anchovies and. I've seen you do it. You're not scared to do that. Not scared at all. No. No, I'm brave. Yeah. One of the bravest people I know. This is the second episode in a row. I'll say it once again. Comedians are the bravest people. We've often said that. We do. We say that. We'll be right back. We will be. And we're back. Boy, I'm good at this. Or am I? Which is why it's time for a segment we call Second Thoughts. Here's how it works. During the show, the producers of this program have collected. All the ways they think I could have done better. They also occasionally will provide a small treat as a kudos for the rare moment where I've done something great. And I was handed these cards. And Bill said, who I did refer to killing earlier, there's a kudos today. And I went, like a child on Christmas. And then he went, for Sarah. And that kudos was for the trans. Trans caucus, which we all felt was a delight. We really all appreciated that. Really less about the treat itself and more the achievement. First thing I'd like to apologize for. I showed my audience Shrek porn. And presumably everyone watching, MS now. I said, put on your glasses instead of put on your contacts to see the Shrek penis. And everybody feels, you feel contacts was funnier that I shouldn't have changed it to. I changed it to glasses on the fly. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the team. I let them down. I realized when the two members of Congress came out that I also showed them Shrek's genitals. I asked a member of Congress how long I can keep old potatoes. I'm sorry for implying that someone in the army would be on a boat. I cried, I'm going to make a turkey log. I called myself famously neutral. Both halves of which are questionable. Tig, I'm sorry for looking at my cards while you were earnestly answering my question. I did start every question with, hey, again, a new tick I've developed, somewhat like Jiminy Glick. And I don't really know where that came from, but it's happening more and more. And I just turn to people and say, hey. So much thievery. You think that? I don't even know if it's stolen. I just think it's, you know, yeah. Oh, I attributed. AI and plagiarism to not going to church. I tried to describe a shapely woman, something I should never do again. Is there anything else you think I should apologize for? I want you to think about it and come back to me once you know. Do you have any regrets? I do. Okay. Not tonight, but it's. Sort of lifelong and unrelated. I regret insulting you. Two out of the three times. No, I think two of them are warranted. I think they're all good. They all worked. Hey, it worked. All right? If it works, it works. And I have but one regret. This show must end. But that is our show. Thank you so much to Tig Notaro and representatives Sarah McBride and Derek Tran. There are 25 days until the midterms. We will be back next week with astronaut Daniel Leavis and comedian Moshe Kasher. Have a great night. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes. And our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. Right now, the midterms are the biggest story in American politics. But however they go, the Democratic Party is going to have to do some serious soul-searching. Join us, Washington, D.C., November 5th through 7th at the second annual CrookedCon. It's going to be the Posse of America hosts, and some of the smartest people in politics. We're going to try to answer some big questions. Stuff like, if we won, how did we win? If we lost, how could we possibly have lost? And with 2028 around the corner, where do we go from here? If you believe in democracy, community, and fighting for the future, now's the time to grab your tickets to CrookedCon 2026. Head to crookedcon.com to get your tickets now.