Beth Becomes a Mentor | "Our Little Island Girl: Pt 2" (606)

this is a head gum podcast on today's episode of that was us we are diving into season six episode six our little island girl part two beth reflects on the dancer she was and the mentor she's become meanwhile kevin confronts the consequences of his choices and the pearsons navigate changing family dynamics ahead of thanksgiving there are so many changes our kiddos go through as they grow up finding their voice forming opinions wanting to do things themselves getting dressed is one of those daily moments and that's why we are loving magnetic me you you know you gave me magnetic me pajamas and i'm realizing in this moment because i wore them for the first time two nights ago and i was like they are magnet what a lovely idea and they're the most beautiful color of blue that i have ever seen in my life yes not only does magnetic me make independent dressing easier for my wife and children but it saves so much time it really matters our point is is that they are really wonderfully made they're incredibly soft if you want to wrap your kids up in something soft and cuddly and fun it can make bedtime fun it can make getting up in the morning fun because it makes getting dressed for bed actually fun for the kiddos trust me once you try magnetic me you'll never want to go back to buttons or zippers i know you and your kiddo will love these outfits because i love them so right now new customers can get 15 off site wide at magnetic me.com please do not wait get 15 off at magnetic me.com that's it this episode is brought to you by netflix's new series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy aims the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden now only on netflix what's going on gang hi how's everybody doing yeah doing really good i want before we get into the episode which is by the way part two of this i want to make mention of this written by ebony freeman and susan kalechi watson yes so everybody on the cast except for bruno either wrote or directed an episode sue and and and chrissy were the two people that chose to do the writing thing um and so we were going to try to get a chance to speak with her but she has a rehearsal that's going to be keeping her from joining us this episode so we love you sue we miss you sorry we didn't get a chance to talk to you fabulous episode yeah like acted the way it was written directed like all of the above was just it's so extraordinary it's really really cool yeah uh before we get into the episode though i wanted to tell you guys about a couple of things that i've watched recently please i'm really enjoying so the first one it's on hulu check it out has anybody watched furious not yet i'm going sister what is this omg it's like emmy rossum okay vibes emmy rossum is an fbi agent and she's hunting down another female serial killer okay irish i chick i believe and i don't know her name offhand but she's phenomenal but i also want to give flowers to a friend of mine who's a new york theater actor who i've known for years and is getting showcased on this show the sister's name is quincy tyler bernstein and she plays like the head of this one division of the fbi it's one of those things where you like you you know how talented somebody is and you wish that other people knew how talented they were and now the world and now the world yeah quincy tyler bernstein hand-in-hand with emmy rossum and she's phenomenal and she's phenomenal and she's phenomenal yo business very excited when you guys watch the show come come on okay okay okay then one that i'm a little bit behind on and i know you're not gonna watch this one because it's in the got family have you watched the night of the seven kingdoms no no i don't even yeah he didn't even look at me watch it okay you're not a gay you're not a got guy i went through got i listen i'll participate if the class is is going through a lesson yeah and back then everybody's watching right and then there was like two or three seasons where it was just garbage white guy yeah white guys with beards dressed in fur and i was like who's that who's that that now is that the same white guy with a beard dressed in fur that we did the other you know you have to follow yes i got lost a little bit i thought they've been telling me that winter is coming for seasons now and winter still has not arrived i've never seen it so what were you all so worried about um this one is six episodes okay yeah but do i need to know the lore of the other stuff more manageable if you knew the lore it would help but no are there dragons no okay this is now you're speaking a little more character driven and the center character his name is sir duncan the tall they call him dunk or whatnot this young man i believe he's higher duncan the tall you it'll make sense because the show is actually like slam duncan it's kind of like a comedy okay in this got world okay it's so good okay all right i'm in please give it a shot what's it called it's called a knight of the seven kingdoms okay you'll love it okay you love okay a knight like can k-n-i-g-h-t right there's no dragons but there are knights are you okay with that i'm okay with knights you're okay with knights yeah yeah yeah i mean it's not my favorite there's something that happens in the pilot that you may be grossed out by but okay but can you give me can you give me the realm of what what is grossed out yeah a guy uses the restroom but but it's not that bad and it's only one time because my wife stopped watching it with me i have babies that have like blowouts yeah yeah i'm not like grown man but so that one doesn't yeah then okay stick with it you can be fine yeah you'll be fine last one you guys been talking to me about widow's bay yes it's it's dope yeah it's freaking fantastic reese is dope whole supporting cast is dope like i just got through episode two when he had to stay the night in the you haven't finished it because listen i'm supposed to watch it with ryan michelle he watches everything i understand but like i know you think it's dope now listen to me i'm supposed to watch it with ryan michelle buffet yeah she keeps getting scared yeah and then she stops and i'm like scary but i i find it more scary i find it more funny than i find it scary i agree i find it way more funny than it's creepy it's not like scary yeah but like getting her to like sit down for like a few episodes is not easy yeah although i am watching the new season of lasso and are you guys lasso people no not after the first season yeah there's a new season yeah okay when did that come out recently recently a few weeks ago guys they sure waited a long time i love it well the show went off the air yeah and then they decided to bring it back and then they said wouldn't we rather keep making money listen the book is it's about um the team is trying to make a female soccer team got it right it's got all the heart that you loved from the first one okay oh it's it's beautiful okay great yeah okay i'm into that i love that that's it i just want to share the things that i'm watching right now am i missing anything is there something that i need to be watching that i haven't been watching i'm watching nothing yeah i need what's going on with you guys tired reading you got young kids tired traveling watching movies saw his god is everyone should check that out saw the breadwinner check that out you're cute um you're cute um i did i watched them both back to back it's a weird double feature but also like without your family it's a weird double feature of you you're a good friend he's a great uh there's a lot of you know there's a lot of downtime in vancouver sure um traveling around um but yeah checking out checking out what i can check out okay you went okay here here okay here's one thing you need to know about vancouver you can watch uh uh um oh shoot good good good luck don't die yeah um that's the movie with sam rockwell yeah i had it michael pena's in that joint don't die sam rockwell i know what you're talking about um yeah don't die sam rock don't die sir we love you you're a national good luck have fun don't die good luck have fun is it great yeah it's great okay i want to see that i want to absolutely fantastic um like a movie of old so okay cool that's my contribution deal deal guys i'll come with contributions next time i'm so sorry the one contribution that you gave me last time is that you went to go see the odyssey yes have you have you got yet not yet i want to and it's great yeah it's great and i'll say this doesn't take anything away not my favorite nolan no i don't think it's anyone's favorite nolan but great it is do you have a favorite it is a movie movie for sure and and damon is dope yeah um there's just - Deals the movie for me is Samantha. Samantha Morton. - Yeah. - Oh, I've heard. - For sure. - For sure. - That whole section is great. But even like the first time, like the way that they use CGI in the movie, sparingly but to like maximum efficacy. So good. Yeah, great movie. - I can't wait. - Our man Bill Irwin is in the movie. - That's right. - The doctor who tells Rebecca that Jack has passed. - I've heard he's great. - Yeah. - Yeah, and if you can't spot him. - He's Cyclops. - Yeah, okay, I will. - Sorry. - That's fine. - He plays Cyclops. Yeah, he plays a Cyclops. - Spoiler. - Yeah. All right. - In this episode of this show. - In this episode. - Get into the episode. - Get into the episode because there's a lot we can start with. We could start with Beth's stuff, but there's also some really interesting dynamics going on with brother, sister, husband, and everything. Like where do you think you wanna start in the past? Like where you wanna go first? - Let's start with, I think with Beth present day. - Okay. - Start with Beth present day. - 'Cause that's sort of what this episode is. - It is the center. - Yes. - The central theme of this episode. - For sure. Go for it. - So she has gotten this new job where she's sort of like head of recruitment, right? At this like dance academy in Philadelphia. And she's tasked with finding kind of like untapped talent for this like special program, giving them grants, right? And whatnot. And she's really like in her element. You see this, like the show sort of opens with this, with this like montage of her, like, you know, in these rooms and watching these dancers and meeting with families and like watching kind of this new reality of her discovering, like, I think this is my purpose. Like, I think this is what I'm meant to do in this chapter of my life and my career. And like, she's walking sort of like with, like a little taller than we've seen her. I feel like in the past, right? - Let me speak on this one a little bit because both Sue and Ebony, who was our writer, are former dancers, right? Both African-American, Sue, Caribbean, Jamaican, but grown up in New York. And both have non-traditional ballet bodies. Meaning like ballet is about lines and strong, long lines, et cetera, et cetera. - Long lines. - Right. And so a lot of black women, they may have lines, but they have curves over those lines as well, right? And so sometimes they're told that like your body doesn't write, you don't, the point doesn't look the way that it's supposed to. Even Misty Copeland, who I mentioned, I just met the other day, curves, teeny tiny woman. But like has curves and was told like, you know, I'm not sure if this is actually gonna be the path for you. So it takes someone being in that space to advocate for someone that doesn't look like the way that it's always looked for the possibility even to exist. They're like, you know what? This person can show up in this space as well. - Sure. And they deserve to be there. - Exactly. - They deserve a spot. - Yes. - And so it feels very appropriate. Someone like Beth with this background is the one that's sort of leading the charge in this particular program, right? And you see her sort of with like her new recruits and she makes them face the mirror and give themselves sort of like their own pep talk. Like I can, and I will. Like she's just very in her body, in this role. Like it's, it's just, it's fun to see her with such sort of command. She definitely has this, this sort of like assertive nature in life and as a mother and as a wife. But like, I feel like throughout the entirety of this series, we've always sort of like, there's a lot of tumult for Beth when it comes to like figuring out who she is. There's a lot of trauma. There's a lot of like unprocessed grief about this phase of her life. - Yeah. - Who she was as a performer and it's tied in with losing her dad and having this, who she thought was like a steadfast advocate at her own dance academy when she was a young woman. - Yeah. - Really breaking her heart. And she carries that with her and she carries that with her into this new job. So all of that to say, it's really nice to kind of find Beth in this particular place of like, oh, has she finally figured this out? Has she finally found her purpose? 'Cause you want, you want this part of her life to also make sense as like someone that loves her and roots for her as an audience member. So again, I just like, I was really struck by that. She's in her element. She believes in these women the way that they, that her dad believed in her. - Yeah. - There's this one woman in particular named Stacey. - Stacey. - Yeah. - Right? And she, I think again, like she is a surrogate for young Beth. - Yes, totally. - For baby Beth. And she really just like sees this girl trying and I think some of the higher ups at the academy have kind of like whispered to Beth, like this one's probably not gonna make it. And it only reinforces in Beth, like I'm gonna get behind Stacey. I'm gonna make sure like I believe in her. I see her. I know she can do it. And she kind of like finds her in a rehearsal and Stacey's, you know, not being, like not being able to complete these pirouettes or something and Beth like kind of tags alongside of her and is like, look, I've been in this very position before. Like we just, you know, whatever. Kind of gives her her own pep talk again. And then we find Beth, if I'm missing anything, please jump in. - Okay, that's good. - Beth is sort of really freaking out before the performance and we see Randall and she's like, I'm gonna need one of your like famous Randall pep talks, like. - Yeah, he tried to go like, you got this or something. She's like, I don't know. - And she's like, okay, I gotta pee again. I gotta pee. It was a sweet little comedic moment. - This is a great, this is a great, you know, kind of allegory for what we've been talking about being parents, right? Like we're provided these opportunities to guide young people and to guide them in a way that also re-parents ourself, like that gives us a chance to heal, you know, generationally backwards and forwards. And the idea of her having to redefine what it means, what it means to succeed, like for this young dancer, like you have to understand that doing it the way that you're expected to do it or the way that someone tells you you should do it does not inherently mean that you're succeeding. Like there are different ways to succeed in this process. - There's also something about, she makes mention, 'cause Randall tells her, he's like, you know, you've done all the hard part, you found the people, you've gone through the practice or whatnot, now you just sit back and watch them do it. She's like, before, like I would be up there and still have some semblance of control or like it's in my body. Now I kind of have to like sort of take my hands off a little bit, to your point. So watching my kids compete, I'm never more sort of like, like just like, I can't do anything. You know what I'm saying? And there's this part of me that's like, oh, I want to do something of the, and sometimes, you just have to sort of be present. And I even talked to them beforehand. I was like, is it helpful when daddy talks to you during the game? And I get very specific rules. It's like during timeouts, yes. At halftime, yes. But you just screaming stuff out during the middle of the game, you can keep it down. I was like, copy that. - Copy that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - To be open to that is incredible. - Yeah. - More "That Was Us" after this short break. - I went back to my hometown recently. Half of it completely changed. Half of it was exactly the same. I drove my family past my old high school, past my first spot where I had my first job, and all of it kind of gave them a tour of years gone by. - My whole family is still in St. Louis, which is where I'm from. I go back probably about twice a year. My mom still lives in the house that I grew up in. - Wow. - And I get a chance to see her at least twice a year. And it's always a one-time thing. It's a wonderful, wonderful visit. I don't necessarily stay at home, but we'll get to that in a second. - It felt very kind of "This Is Us," this trip. You know, our show was one long road trip back home. And while I was revisiting all of those old memories, my actual home here in Los Angeles sat empty the entire trip. - Listen to me. Listen to me, Christopher. That's the case for listing your space on Airbnb when you travel. Someone visiting your area gets a great place to stay, and you earn a little extra cash. If it's the logistics that are holding you back, Airbnb's co-host network is the answer. You can hire a vetted local co-host with real hosting experience to manage things for you. - Gang, a co-host can help manage reservations, message guests, and provide on-site support if anything comes up. - Yeah, if you're interested in listing your space on Airbnb, find a co-host at airbnb.com/host. - This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series, "East of Eden," a bold re-imagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity. Starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask brothers, and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch "East of Eden" now, only on Netflix. - This episode of "That Was Us" is brought to you by Article. Ladies and gentlemen, I like furniture. I like furniture. comfortable, that is easily sort of like paired with other pieces. 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To claim, visit article.com backslash TWU and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That is article.com slash TWU for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. This singular idea of what it means to succeed and how you can help them to do that is interesting, right? Because especially in ballet, this dance world where there, there is a singular idea of what it means to succeed, which is you will be a soloist in a prestigious ballet company. Anything less than that is failure. When in fact, you know, there's, there are people who spend their whole career in the chorus or there are people, did you know this? We had a friend who was an opera singer and you think, okay, opera seems like a pretty narrow lane. Like, what do you do? What do you do with that? Do you write? You're either Pavarotti or you're not. Yeah. What you do is you join a company, an operatic company. These soloists like Pavarotti, whoever it is, come in and then there's 30 or 40 other people who support them. Who support them. Those people, I didn't know this, like at, like at Lincoln Center, the opera there. Yeah. That is a lifetime job. Is it really? When you ascend to that role, you get chosen. Torks. Chorus. Because when you're 20, they need 20-year-olds. And as you get older, they still need you in the chorus. They still need you in the chorus. Starting pay, $250,000 a year. Wow. Really? To be in the chorus at the opera. Wow. A lot of money in opera. But all I mean, that example is meant to say that like the idea of what it means to succeed. Right. And you see Beth kind of realizing, oh, I had a very narrow, narrow idea of what it meant to succeed as a dancer. Sure. And now all of these things are opening up to me. Yes. You know, I would have been, I would have been, I think, happy the rest of my life being a Chicago theater actor. Sure. Yeah. Like things shot me off in different directions and I'm also happy here. But like, there are just many different ways to identify what it means to succeed. But I think she also has a unique perspective of, I know what it means to be at this phase of your life and narrowly thinking like, well, also saying, this is my dream. Yeah. And we all had dreams, right? So it's like, you, you couldn't deviate from that. Like you had to be so laser focused, especially with such a specific discipline as ballet and being a soloist. Like there is, there is no way to sort of deviate. As you get older and things unfold a certain way, sure. Then you can maybe open yourself up to the possibilities. But it's like, if you're not going to give your all for the practice that you have been, dedicating your life to for, since you were a child, you know, like what else is there? What, what has it all been for, you know? So I, I think it's interesting 'cause Beth has this very, very specific and unique perspective to offer Stacey. And we watch Stacey on stage and she's killing it initially. And then she kind of like takes a tumble, right? And falls in the middle of this performance. And the audience sort of like kind of sits there quietly. And Beth doesn't know what else to do other than to go to her side. And sit down on stage with her. That was a moment, like because she was sort of like up and she's like, are you okay? Are you hurt? And she's like, I'm fine or whatnot. And she's like, well, what do you want to do? And she was just sort of frozen. She's like, I can't do this or whatnot. And, and you see Beth take this moment to just plop down and be like, all right, well, I'll just be out here. I'll be out here with you. - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? And she asked like, why did you choose me? Right? And she's like, cause I see a fire in you that I recognize within myself, you know? And she just says like, you're going to do it. You're going to be fine. And when you're ready, we'll do it. I love the way Hooks directed this because it's like the audience ceased to exist. - Yep. - And that is to be that present with another human being in their time of profound. - Need. - Need is awesome to not be checking outside to be like, oh, it's everybody. She's just like, no, no, no. - It's just you and me here. - It's just us. - And I'll sit here as long as you need. - As long as you need. It was a beauty. And then, you know, her husband says like, you girls, you may not remember a lot of stuff, but like, I need you to remember how dope this woman is. That is your mother. - How incredible she is. - Because it was pretty. And I would like to think that I could do that for another human being. And I think like I've had instances in my life where like my kids have gone through tough times and I'm like, hey man, you're going to be fine. - Yeah. - We're going to be here. But like to just sit down on stage, like forget the humiliation, forget about my own personal sort of like, oh, I have all this stuff riding on it, which is what she was feeling before and talking to. She's like, you know what? Right now, just me and you stays. It's just the greatest gift you can give to another human being is your presence. And she did it. - Yeah. - It was cool. It was real cool. - They get home. Randall says the girls are obviously giving rave reviews. Beth is downstairs with a glass of wine. She's like, I'll meet you back upstairs. And she gets this wild hair. - Yeah. - To call Vincent, who was her teacher. - Yeah. - At- - Goran Visnich, is that how you pronounce his name? - From ER. - From ER. - Yeah. - My man who basically like took over for Doug Ross. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Handsome cat. - 'Cause we saw in a flashback. - Yeah. - That, that- - Randall and Beth had gone to DC. - Young Beth and Randall were at a dinner once and she had an opportunity. - Yeah. - To tell Vincent. - Yeah. - How she felt or how he made her feel. - Right. - Through the, through the process. - Yeah, like a year and a half after she left. - Yeah. - And quit dance. - And, and she made an attempt at, at talking to him and kind of froze and missed her opportunity. - You know what I loved about how he played this? In each one of these instances, he was like happy to see her. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He was like, what's going on with you? - I think he was. - He's like, I, I'm, I, you know, I always knew that you had a, a wonderful brain or wonderful talent. Like that's, you were gonna make something of yourself. - Yeah. - And I think she was expecting like, oh, it's you again. - Right. - Whatever she had built up in her mind's eye of, - Right. - Of, yeah, her expectation of what this conversation was gonna consist of. - Yeah. - So like- - Yes, it is interesting. - In the past. - That he like didn't match that at all. - Not at all. - He came with a completely different energy. - You should come to the studio. - Yeah. - The girls would love to see you. And, and she's just like, all right, I gotta go. - Yeah. - I don't know what to do with this at all. - Yeah, I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't prepared for this at all. - You're not playing the part that I need you to play in my head. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Randall's like, you sure you don't wanna get the bread pudding? They're like, no, they're out. So now part two, she calls him on the phone. - She calls him on the phone and tells him how hurt she was when he replaced her after her dad died. After he, you know, had said that he really believed in her and how that failure made her feel so small. And that's the part that she hates about herself and she hides from everyone. And, you know, but what she has learned throughout this process and over the years, and especially right now with the role that she's in is that there is power in waiting in the wings and being there for the stars and the ones that aren't. And essentially like this power makes her realize she knows who she is and she knows what she's meant to do now. So it almost turns into a like exactly, what you would envision when you're telling someone how they've hurt you. And it turns into like a debt of gratitude of thank you. Because had I not gone through this with you, I would not know what I'm capable of. I would not know what I deserve and what I want and who I am. So because I've carried this trauma and this pain with me for the entirety of the last 25 years of my life or 20 years of my life or something, I'm like, I owe you. I owe you for what you pushed me to do and see in myself. - There is, he said something like, it wasn't my responsibility to coddle you. Like I was supposed to give you the skills in order to be this, to be the best, right? And what I loved about this is that like, at no point in time was he vilified. I was like, oh, he was wrong for how he did her. Like, no, he actually, actually even casting wise, the way that they did it on the show, it wasn't like they replaced young Bethany with like a super like Alpine white girl or whatnot. It was another black girl who just had it. And it was like, I liked that he wasn't vilified. But he had a perspective and that she had a perspective. But I also really appreciate that by going through what she had gone through, she's like, I do, somebody can occupy a space of championing people who don't always get championed. yeah yeah you know because because sometimes and i think about that in terms of this career like there are well-meaning well-intentioned people that just have blind spots and don't feel like well i'm not i can't give that extra time or energy when other people can do it sometimes yeah it's okay to give that extra and also you know if if the entirety of your success is riding on on the focus and attention of an outside person yeah i don't think that that ability stands on its own yeah you know what i mean like i had a i had a acting teacher who's like if you if you can do anything other than acting go do it yeah heard that one you know what i mean and and and it's not it's not meant to dissuade people it's meant it's like a gut check yeah where it's like if what i just said made you question question yourself yeah in any way yeah then maybe take a closer look at that question sure if you heard me say that and and it went in one ear and out the other i'm good you'll be fine you know what i mean totally and so like this this idea of of it mirrors what kate went through with the singing audition yeah it has nothing to do with how you look right this lady over here is a better singer right it you're right he's not vilified and it's like neither is wrong in this situation in a way yeah she's definitely entitled to have felt hurt and dismissed but he was also kind of hurt and dismissed but he was also kind of hurt and dismissed but he was also kind of just doing his job um yeah it's he had other young ladies that he was responsible for too like it does it does go to show you how powerful a mentor is who says like you uh-huh sure like because i i don't think i'd be an actor if i didn't have that mentor that said like you know what you should do this it creates audacity you know what i'm saying like he it's helpful it's very very helpful yes the last part of it is we flash forward yes um and i knew that it was the flesh because i was like oh her hair is different we only see this we only see this hairstyle yeah in the future yeah because now she's she's old beth the only person had to get old on this damn show was brown really and mandy too but yeah we're in the same boat but not exactly the same boat because you're still pretty but brown just got other she had her creep keeper years i had my creep keeper years for sure in the end this season you'll see stay tuned yeah we'll stay tuned but but i was like oh sue looks really pretty i was like oh she's supposed to be a little a little older sue and justin yeah they're like now this is what you can talk to themselves okay they were like listen i'm just gonna come in tired all right you don't life has been hard for both of you gentlemen not for them so much just a little just a little less makeup and i'll come in tired don't worry now we see that sue is the boss boss boss she's the boss yeah yeah she has dozens of she gets a postcard from stacy that's right who is who is uh the soloist in a production of the nutcracker i didn't quite catch where i forget where it says it's kind of like a big deal something like a big deal yeah yeah yeah and in her card i think she says uh i did and i can and i did i can and i did because before i had to look in the mirror and say i can and i will yeah which is very cool and she puts she puts uh this this postcard up next to stacy's picture stacy of course was the first picture on this bulletin board yeah and now we see that there are covered it is littered with so many other women success stories ebony freeman's pictures on that board is it is it really yeah that's great i love those easter eggs that's great um and and you know if we if we want to jump ahead to the to the the kind of beth storyline you know her father her father who who has and the book ends of this book and she's like oh my god this episode sure reminded us that she was the little island girl who danced before she could walk did things in her own way in her own time and and who is going to change the world someday yeah that's what he said and let's be honest you you some some people change the world as as the soloist in a nutcracker yeah but the work that beth is doing is behind the scenes seems to be rippling out much further i also like i you ever heard that thing those who can do those who can't teach or what have you like i would love to sort of like do away with that mentality as it's reductive and sort of dismissive of like just how important mentors teachers like people who see your potential who believe in you enough until you can have that level of belief in yourself i would not be here if it wasn't for a milton ray zoth who was my high school drama teacher uh for uh dr perry j elam jr who cast me in my first play at stanford university and said like you know i know you're going to major in economics but i think you know you have fun doing this thing and you should just maybe keep auditioning for things uh without a man by the name of ron van lew at nyu who was a scene study teacher who told me like you know you're very good at figuring out the answers but i think you could spend a little bit more time just contemplating the questions this is people yeah these people who they like drop shit in you that just sort of stays there and then comes out in a whole nother way like thank you to the teachers man like especially in like western society because i think they do a better job in the east of really giving them the respect um and admiration that they actually deserve we we sell these people short and when we got to covet i was like i will never sell you short a game yeah i need you i love you i appreciate you we can't do nothing without you there's nothing without teachers they're so underappreciated underpaid underserved like it is it's abysmal yes quite frankly without going deeper than that shall we go to the next one yes which one you want to do uh rebecca and miguel and and the kids sure miguel kate kevin and sophie yeah our grocery shopping for thanksgiving they're walking into uh rebecca and kate's house yeah sophie is talking about her life and she's like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know about this loss they're gonna live in new york and just like daydreaming about this life that they're gonna have one day and kevin just like does not chime in he kind of ignores it that's right which is a little curious barely look at her yeah yeah it's like okay i don't know what's going on there i don't know what we're meant to think about that and then rebecca walks in laughing with matt who's like her her new boyfriend i also love that mandy moore at this time is 30 and matt's probably 50 something i was like look at mandy moore acting with these grown-ass dudes oh i love it and she's surprised to see uh her family this is my good friend matthew yeah just saw a movie together yeah and it's it's severely uncomfortable and uh there's some good you make some good jokes brian not uh matt trying to fit in but like the kids are looking at him like yo bro yeah you ain't my dad yeah yeah you're not gonna be our new daddy don't bring your dad jokes in here but he also meets miguel he also meets miguel yeah this is our good family friend miguel dude the way the way that this miguel rebecca thing plays out yeah because this is such a slow burn it's such a slow burn but it is it's so delightful how the audience has the joy of knowing where things are ahead of those two people right and even when they're just trying to be friends with each other it's like you guys you even think about it or whatnot but i think it gives the audience ultimately i believe the ability to love miguel because he was not plotting no like at all right but he was annoyed yeah i don't like another guy and then she was annoyed in the end when he wants to invite thanksgiving yeah that says something right there if you're annoyed about someone having a significant other for sure but rebecca ends up kind of like inviting him to thanksgiving she sort of feels bad that they're talking about it yeah in front of him and it's like so what are your plans and he's like i'm just usually by myself and it's like oh well obviously you should come to our thanksgiving that would be weird not invite you now yeah miguel's like oh well nice for him to sort of invite himself or whatever she's like that's not yeah whatever and then uh at one point sophie's like oh you guys seem really cute like do you think it's gonna he's gonna be the new guy and rebecca's like oh we're just having fun like it's very casual it's yeah i think that's what she thinks too it's like this is not the person to go the distance but i'm doing what i think i'm supposed to be doing i'm starting to try to enjoy my life again it's also like i i think about this after my pops passed away and arlene brown had a couple of attempts at dating i remember the one guy who sat in your chair yeah he sat in your chair his name was udo mueble i'd come home he'd be like hello styling how you doing i'm like you can get out of my chair and i'll tell you how i'm doing jack you know what i'm saying i'm trying to watch batman animated series get out get out of my chair i'm gonna get out of my shit get out of the webway get out of my shit get out of my webway yeah that was a good joke oh lord have mercy but like i and i i think i always want i wouldn't have been mad like because it is she never really saw never remarried or whatnot but i never felt like i would have begrudged it i was like no life goes on you're a human being you deserve companionship whatever way i was like i don't like that dude but like you picked another dude it would be okay but i get i get the i get the position of the kids too and they're like oh there's another dude in my house yeah yeah yeah that has to be so strange yeah it's it's it's a funky little thing to negotiate but kevin's drinking a lot as as we've established as drinking kate's gained some weight yeah she's she says you want to say anything about my weight you want to say anything about my drinking name do you want me to yeah all right cool moving on keep it moving and then you going on with you like you've been really strange and weird and he's like you know it's been hard out in la she's like what's really going on like there's this girl in my acting class and kate it was just one time oh and you're just like oh like punched in the gut this guy now we knew we knew from history that like of course that would cause the divorce from the first time around was was infidelity or whatnot but now we're being presented with it uh right before thanksgiving and then kate's like you got to tell her and he's like kate she what if she doesn't forgive me like what if that doesn't go the way that's supposed to go doesn't matter you have to tell her and this isn't because kate's in the in the rock and hard place you're talking about my best friend yeah and my brother right so eventually like she sort of confronts him after she has that conversation with rebecca and whatnot about um matt then kev walks away because uh rebecca's like i mean it's casual it's not like you guys like you guys are meant to be right it's you know you guys are a real love story and he just sort of like turns on his heel and walks out yeah i have to go take a i have to go take a jet lag nap yeah yeah yeah he leaves and she's just sort of like jet lag nap what's going on yeah more that was us after these words from our sponsors this episode is brought to you by netflix's new series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy ames the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden now only on netflix mr president my company for me of the explosion on our rig today causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami they all keep the blame on me tom cruise is digger got us into this mess and digger's gonna dig us out from the director of birdman and the revenant what would happen if i stopped doing it you starve you freeze to death that's what with great power comes great deniability i'm not the first nanny digger see the trailer online now playing only in theaters rated r under 70 this episode is brought to you by netflix's new series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy ames the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden now only on netflix and and he comes clean now this is an interesting sort of thing because i do believe that that is the right thing to do sure and i have another more complicated sort of answer to this that i'm would you call it a hot take it could be considered a hot take yeah this is the hot take and i want you to disagree with me unless you don't disagree with me if your intention is to repair your marriage and to be together then some people can sit could consider them unburdening themselves a selfish act that does not do anything but give that other person an image in their head that they did not have before disagree with me but i'm saying that like they're the other take is like you do the work you do the work you do the work you do the and you sort of like get your shit together yeah but you show up as a better point okay is that he's not yeah he is he's making it so evident that something is wrong that anyone in their right mind would push and question like what what is going on something is totally off with you with us like what did i do she even said she's like are you mad at me like right through all of his own misbehavior he's still making it about himself punishing her for it yeah and so and even in the confession yeah he made a mistake and he's still making it about himself and he's still making it about him what did he say it was tearing me apart and she goes oh so sorry yeah it must have been really hard for you yeah and in the confession he also says please don't take it out on kate i told her not to say anything oh which again i'm like dude yeah he's just fucking up as as we have identified in later erin previous seasons here comes wrecking ball kevin just ruining everyone's life yeah yeah and they so she leaves obviously right she's very angry at kate very angry kate and there's a thelma and louise reference between the two we've learned they're that good of friends they're that close they were going to watch the movie before one's the one's louise and uh as she's leaving they're listening to a lot of smores that's cover of king of pain yeah that's right angst full on that as she's leaving like she's like what do you want me to do she he's my brother right and she's like what do you want me to do she's my brother right and she's like what do you want me to do she's my brother right and she's like what do you want me to do she's my brother and she just kind of looks like i give this girl credit i always i want to remember her name right now because young sophie she's amanda layton she's wonderful yeah she's so good she's killed she got like the look on her face was like you know what all right choose your brother man also like the sweetest yes it was always so nice to be around them she's adorable she just like always had a smile on her face was chatty and kind and then like would wallop you yeah with this yeah she killed that shit yeah she killed it yeah and this whole storyline kind of uh we find it in our modern day story with kevin and and madison and and kate and and toby and elijah that a lot of people that kevin still is behaving this way you know that's essentially the the mirror is like between the the modern day it's like he's not much has changed not much has changed he he still has a pretty self-centered view of the world and he's like i don't know i don't know i don't of the world and how it should work. He keeps implying that he's really excited to bring his kids to the cabin for Thanksgiving so they can participate in the Pearson traditions. - I wanna give him a little bit of grace here and that like Thanksgiving is what the Pearsons, like he's excited and looking forward to it. He's myopic, but I don't think he's knowingly being self-centered. - No, no, no, I agree. - Okay. - Yeah. - I just wanted to make, I just, okay. - Yeah, yes, 'cause I do feel like there is middle ground here. This was something I found difficult about this particular storyline. I was like, it's okay for him to want to have his kids at Thanksgiving. - Yeah, sure. - For him to think that it is just his right without even like talking to Sophie about it is. - Right, right, right, right. - Or sorry, to Madison about it. - Madison. Different blood. - Right, yeah, different blood. But so I found it challenging that I was like, ooh, they need to be in better communication and figure out a plan 'cause like them both wanting what they wanted was totally reasonable. But yeah, so I was like, the fact that Madison was just like, no, well, I'm taking the kids and starting my own tradition with them. I was like, well, that doesn't sound totally fair either. Like there has to be a middle ground. - Right. - If you guys aren't going to be together this year, you guys get, you know, like I just, the fact that that was left sort of open-ended and that we were meant to maybe side more with Madison, I was like, well. - We need a little conflict. - A little, yeah. I was like, I don't totally agree with that. - I feel you. I feel you. I also wanna, I also love like in that first opening scene too, that like he's going out of his way to like make - Brunch for them. - Special brunch with like all these waffles and et cetera, et cetera. - All the waffles. - And my man comes in with his homemade muffins and everybody's like, hey man, these muffins is shit. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Even Tobias was in the middle of like a business call or whatever. - A phone call, yeah. - He's like, you make these muffins? And then so does, this is where the 87% comes in because this is not scripted. Kiss on the forehead. - Yeah. - It's beautiful. - Yeah. - Dude, estrange. Just, loved it. - I liked Adam a lot. Working to kiss wherever I can get one, you know? - So, but later on that day, everybody's gonna get together to go to the first taping of the Manny. - Reboot. - The Manny reboot. They're going back to the Manny reboot. Everybody excited. Bro, you're gifted, but like, I love the inside baseball of like acting like you don't know the industry and talking about all the things that happen in the industry. it's fucking hilarious it's so funny talking about wait what there's a few of them that you mentioned the punch-up the punch a punch-up a punch-up is where they take a bad joke and they make it better yeah yeah yeah it's so good it's so good because you're like schooling about elijah about everything that's going on etc and he's just sort of like he's happy to be there also elijah like as soon as he showed up one i loved adam uh love he's still with us yes uh um but he he and toby were peasant like oh yeah if we had had one more season totally you guys would have been besties yeah yeah yeah toby finally would have had a friend a real friend there's a jeff probes joke back there there's a craft services joke back there and the punch-up okay i wrote them down i have to make sure yeah uh then kev goes back to talking to madison about the cabin um madison ultimately does she tell him i'm doing if i jumped over anything but she does tell him she tries to say like i don't want to have this conversation right now like you got something to do like go ahead and do your taping etc etc but kate and she are also making faces at each other yeah i was like guys obviously he's gonna bring it up can't keep sharing these looks like what's going on she's like i just want to have a quiet thanksgiving with the kids with elijah here and he's like so you're just gonna shit over like my family traditions keep me away from the kids and she's like look man i'm not trying to do that but like you didn't even really ask me what i wanted and now this is the first time i have to articulate it kate told me i shouldn't have brought it up before so it's a little thrown under the bus because oh kate knew and he's like ah you know what screw everybody yeah right i'm really glad because i didn't remember what happened i'm really glad the writers didn't self-destruct him yeah you know what i mean like i was like does he mess all this up again i can't remember yeah if this all gets messed up but they let him succeed yes he kills it there's growth there's growth yeah there's growth there's like and it's funny too because as they're they're doing the show and uh he's sort of talking about how important his kids are to him on the show etc and and madison's like maybe i'm being too tough like maybe i shouldn't and kate's like you deserve to have what you want like you know you deserve to be with the man who wants to be with you right and be excited like you're not wrong for wanting what you want but you're not wrong for 100 you know and i think that's even reflected later in the conversation between kev and kate like where he's like thanks for having my back and she's like bro i've been having your back since we've been in the womb like literally yeah back to back like what are you talking about um and then he she sort of articulates for him like bro you could have said i love you you didn't yeah right now she's got a dude who's like madly in love with her who wants to spend all his time with her and you want her to like do something with us like come on no like have some perspective yeah sure not saying that you're like wrong for not wanting to be around your kids but have some grace for this woman who bore your children yeah and who's raising them who's raising them right and so he goes straight over to her house go straight to the house make some ends you know what you're right like you deserve to have the thanksgiving that you want i'm sorry for you know doing it my way and she's like thank you i appreciate that and our man elijah steps out man you're talking about you're talking about somebody dropping they nuts i also loved he's such a good actor he's so funny that like you can see him being nervous yes about what like she's trying to be tough with totally giant movie star yes but it's also like like fully aware that he is not yes that he's like out of his league yeah and he plays it i mean better than i've seen anybody play it kind of great it's kind of great i mean he he like i love madison like it's sort of like you know i i would never expect like this you know handsome movie star to be and he's like you know i know i'm batting way out of my league yeah right so like there's a like she's not the person like he's like i'm lucky that this chick is here and like if you're sitting here waiting around because you think i'm not gonna stay yeah then you're gonna be waiting around for a long ass time yeah and he's like note it yeah like kev you can see kev be like you know what let him have it does deserve him let him have this moment yeah kevin is like got it point taken point taken he i mean like with a smile and like yeah yeah you put your big boy i got you yeah and that's and that's that it was it's great good episode it was a really good episode a beautiful beautiful arc for for sue for beth and sort of stepping into her own i you know i remember in season one they were like i was like hey what city plan and like i don't think they had a very clear sketch of it and i love that they took the time over time to be more concrete with like what it is that she did and then what it is that she loved yeah and then sort of being able to reunite her with that thing that she loved which is very very very cool um and now it also means that we have a thanksgiving episode coming up the next episode we don't miss thanksgiving because i was like right is thanksgiving about to happen i was like no the piercings don't miss thanksgiving so i don't i can't even remember just yet but i'm seeing oh i do you know oh it was a big rebecca conversation with the kids at thanksgiving oh this is what happens yes and then it's also like rebecca in the past it was like it was i i was in three different timelines i just remember it was a really heavy episode and i think that this is the episode that glenn directed is it yeah this one yeah uh 607 great i love glenn i think if i'm correct well please leave us a comment let us know your thoughts uh on youtube or spotify uh you can send us an email at that was us pod at gmail.com or you can send us uh all kinds of little messages over there on speakpipe.com slash that was us and be sure to check us out a day early on hulu yeah if you want uh guys so coming up next our favorite segment our fan segment that's who i'm gonna be as i'm yeah yeah but do but do it again and we'll put we'll put a big like reaver on it ready a fan segment beautiful be right back after this you guys are silly all right welcome back to our fan segment we've got a couple of emails here uh with regards to the uh the episode we haven't read these we haven't read these we're coming to them cold we know they have something to do with the world of dance yeah and we're excited to take a gander who wants to read the first we're gonna break it up because they look like they're full ones i'll read the first i'll read the first paragraph or so off you go okay hello that was us crew smiley face just wanted to write in and tell you about how much this is us impacted through the trajectory of my life and my story i have so many favorite storylines from the show but my number one fave has to be beth and her journey with dance i grew up in a beautiful dance academy visionary performing arts academy in pittsburgh owned and operated by nicole carter who we all affectionately called mrs nicky it was an amazing life experience to grow up dancing starting at age three and to be taught by a black woman that i could see myself in in the city dance was a safe space for me to grow up in and i still look back fondly on my experiences and all that the discipline of dance taught me in college i majored in education and after graduation moved to texas to begin my teaching journey i stayed in the general education classroom for nearly 10 years all along feeling deep within that there was that there was i think something just more for me just more just more for me excuse me okay i just knew that i wasn't living my dream yet as beth's storyline unfolded and we discovered that she was a dancer i remember the tears welling up as i realized that i too had left dance behind as a dream i don't remember it ever being a conscious or deliberate thing it was just the direction of my life and i just knew that i was going to be a professional career started to take me although it had been years since i danced in a formal classroom setting dance was always always in my heart it had always been a part of my life as i grew up so as an adult i could feel the gaping hole that not being involved in dance created in my life after beth opened her own dance studio i remember having the feeling that a light switch had been turned back on inside of me a few years prior i'd written in my prayer journal about my dream of being a dancer and i was like oh my god i'm going to be a dancer i'm going to be a dancer and a dance teacher but for many reasons i just felt like that dream was too big after watching beth's episode i opened that journal back up and took a breath i knew that i could no longer ignore my dream it was right there in front of my face and i just felt that stirring inside that told me things were about to move and change i took an exam and got certified to teach dance in the state of texas a short couple of months later i met a principal looking for a dance teacher on a pre-k through eighth grade campus and this school year 2024 to 2025 i began for the first time in my career where i started as a three-year-old in the dance studio i attribute so so much of this awakening and remembering of my dream to beth i wake up every day and head into my school's dance studio never having had imagined this being an actual possibility for my life words just can't to go to work and not only enjoy what I do, but I get to love it more than I've loved anything else. So I thank the writers of This Is Us for giving me Beth and sincerely thank and honor Susan Kelechi Watson for masterfully and so vulnerably bringing Bethany to life and in turn, resurrecting the dreams inside of me and reminding me to keep my lines straight, my back tall, and to never stop dancing ever again. Thank you, Jasmine. Wow! That is unbelievable, Jasmine. There you go. That is so beyond cool. Yeah. Impacting lives in a direct, just- A very direct way. One-to-one ratio. Yeah. Holy cow, man. Art imitating life, imitating art. Dreams. Dreams deferred, dreams ignored. People, listen, I know practicality gets in the way of a lot of things, but pay attention. And it has to sometimes, but- It has to sometimes, but pay attention. Pay attention to the dreams. If there is a way that you can honor them, if there's a way that they can make their way into your life- In some capacity. Give yourself permission. Yes. Give yourself space. Yes. Like, oh, that felt good. Yeah, that is- That felt good. That is truly- Thank you for sharing, Jasmine. Thank you, Jasmine. Please, and congrats on your new lease on life. Hell yes, sister. Here's another email. You want to start it? Hey, that was us. Yeah? What? That was me. And then the email says, My name is- My name is Harry, quote unquote, female. Harry with an I. Yeah. Harry with an I. I've been- My name's Chris. That was me. And then back to the email. I've been a dancer for 16 years, and I just recently turned 18. And fun fact, I have seven siblings. Wow. And most of us watched the show as it came out with our folks. That's wild. Yeah. That's wild. So let's see, if she's- Two when she started dancing. She just recently turned 18. I mean, she started watching This Is Us when she was- Eight? Eight? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Stranger things have happened. Yeah. I like that show, too. Beth's backstory really resonated with me. This guy. The way she navigates through the dance world and finds her way back to her love of dance is so true to many dancers' lives. I personally found it hard to navigate through the rejection that comes so frequently in the dance world, and that led to not feeling good enough. And not even wanting to continue. But I found that the love of the art perseveres through the loneliness and rejection that you face, and I saw that portrayed so well with Beth's character, and I'm truly thankful for that. I'm now on to dance at Disney World in late October. And that is all because I didn't give up. This Is Us story and characters truly did help me realize how dreams can come true and happiness is possible through the heart. I truly love you guys. I am such a huge fan of the show. I've been watching since season one as a kid. There you go. Thank you for giving everyone a true representation of what a family looks like. You guys are amazing. Harry. P.S. Mandy, my dancer heart and brain, loves the forever now, and I always wanted to choreograph to it. It keeps me inspired. That's so sweet. I would love to see that, Harry. I can't wait to see it. This bar that she dropped? Dreams can come true and happiness is possible through the hurt and rejection. Yeah. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's all of it. Right there. I mean, that's life. This Is Us. And life. Yeah. Totally. Sometimes you have this bifurcation in your brain that like, oh, I'm hurting right now, so I just have to be hurt. Or I'm happy right now, so that other thing doesn't even possible. And it's all, it's just a little bit messier than that. And just because it's messy. It doesn't mean you don't just keep going. That's right. Yeah. Keep on going. Well, thank you for sharing these emails with us. Congratulations on your Disney gig. Yeah. Yeah, that's so cool, Harry. Congrats. Must be short for Harriet, I think. Yeah. I think so. The H-A-R-R-I. Or even Henrietta sometimes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Harry, Henry. You know how that goes. That's a great name. Great nickname. You want to tell them where they can check out the show? Listen, y'all. Support our sponsors. They help us keep the podcast going. You can send us an email at ThatWasUsPodcast. ThatWasUsPod at gmail.com or send us any kind of message, really, at speakpipe.com slash ThatWasUs. Leave us a comment on YouTube or Spotify. Yes. And you can watch us a day early on Hulu. Sure, if you want. Guys, what a pledge. Most importantly, guys, just be cool. Just don't go changing to try and please me. You know? Yep. Just stay cool this summer. Summer's over, friends. Summer's over. Don't ever change. We're in the fall. What did you guys write in your books? Keep in touch. K-I-T. K-I-T. You're the coolest. Don't go changing. You're rad. You're radical. That Was Us. That Was Us is filmed at Rabbit Grin Studios and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. That Was Us is brought to you by Netflix's new series, East of Eden, a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity. Starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask family. The Trask Brothers and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch East of Eden now, only on Netflix. Mr. President, my company formed the explosion on our rig today. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant. What would happen if I stopped doing it? You starve, you freeze to death, that's what. With great power comes great deniability. I'm not the first nanny. Digger, see the trailer online. Now playing only in theaters. Rated R. Under 17, not admitted without parent.