Best Of The Life Wide Open Podcast by CboysTV 2025

ever done one of these dave no closest has probably been a deposition ken went to europe 10 years ago and he came back and he never caught back up he's still behind ken is still two weeks behind or however long he was in europe i'm trying to stay hard for the little banged up just like our buddy gavin always trying to stay hard i'm just trying to stay hard bigger yeah there's way too many guys in this couch to be talking like that ken's gonna be in a spider-man morph suit too i got it take one leave one ryan titties or beer i'm taking beer i think i spend more time with beer than the other what's what are you bro took beer over titties what you still got butts what it's a controversial statement yeah that is how all right cj it's starting to make sense the latter i dropped beer in a heartbeat same i guess i am over now i wouldn't take bro i'm not getting there's very few things i'm getting rid of before titties ryan didn't even have to think about it where do you draw the line my family i think that's about it are you still down to get that tattoo you were talking about the white morning tattoo so hold on so is this going on well originally you said tram stamp but if you had to negotiate the ken said that it was on the thigh and there was an arrow pointing towards my dick that was his white monster i said okay wait what is what is this you agreed to that tattoo well hold on we were talking how much it would cost mike said a hundred grand i said for a tram stamp that is i'm like bro i'd do it for less than a hundred what tattoo exactly the monster logo with an arrow and no i think that's the same it would say white white monster i'm down for that i'll do that's funny i'll do it for whatever i say is gonna sound ridiculous but i'd do it for 30k all right mike said a hundred yeah i said a hundred that's just within the realm of possibility now we're talking a budget for a video we're gonna have to really milk this out and i didn't realize that he would come out like his curfew would say at 11 o'clock come home at 11 and then pretend to go to bed but sneak out the back door and go party and do whatever which i didn't learn about that till later i even got a broke my foot one night snuck back into the house with a broken foot and then pretend to fall on the stairs maybe i never did tell him i know you knew evan's dad's just finding this out now i rolled my ankle running from the cops and i broke my foot yeah we think it's just a fresh injury that happened going downstairs oh it was so brutal i had to wait for like six seven hours and my foot's just swollen dropping i gotta wait until morning and then maybe made it to like six or six a believable time yeah kind of clunk clunk clunk stumble on the stairs that's pretty good that's pretty good i mean yeah i've been off the wagon for a little bit you know in bed yep i can't go any further i think i know where you exactly what you said i can't go any further let's just stop there what was evan's advice to you he didn't have any there was nothing to be said he just kept trying to ease me along like oh yeah i don't have that problem maybe you're just more of like a primal you know because like if you look at it in terms of uh before this day and age like you would just be able to spread your seed faster and not get even by a mile you know we're going to so through natural selection your genes are actually more dominant than evan i'm extremely fast right didn't you say you got like five times in a couple of hours that's pretty impressive that is awesome that's very impressive that is extremely impressive dude what are you complaining about what are you complaining about you're good five times in a couple of hours when you told me i mean with two seconds at a time still to be able to reload that quick is very impressive are you using performance enhancing drugs for this what running only stock only stock no mods drink much pineapple juice no that's good for you no just some dr pepper someone's been posting thirst traps of ken oh yeah who's been taking them dalton i think ken's actually got access to post our first video back in a little in a minute and it's that people are like getting deleted and coming up for us to start using it dude those those vids at ken are popping though do you have that one ready of when he's sleeping dalton when he's sleeping yeah that like one minute one the one raw him just he kind of moans and then you like at one point i think you like kind of turn the camera and you like get in you're like and he's just sleeping like this all the comments about his wedgie start locking my door at night yeah yeah i know dalton was in there which one no i have the one in the bedroom door the back all of them i have the one where i put cheese on his face when he's sleeping that's the look of a guy with the back door oh that's from vegas that's from vegas right there i'm not happy about you getting scammed but i do get a good chuckle you do nothing that makes you happier than your other friends having problems oh a hundred percent that sounds terrible when you put it that way it's terrible it's okay it's kind of funny in the long run but it sucks for us when you're laughing at me when i'm in a pickle i'm not enjoying it but you're getting a hell of a time out of it your pickles are always hilarious that's true that's maybe not the best that's not the best also gavin's never really been in a real pickle though cj got fucking scammed on 1500 news evan's just like how am i gonna spend the rest of my day being this happy we gotta talk about that thing right there um what you guys getting into fortnight bro you guys are like 10 years late oh jacob ryan you're almost 30 years old stop this stop this my girlfriend at your dad's house ed is a tough look at your age yeah jake's a man he plays tarkov yeah yeah i do go to bed late or too late sometimes yeah but even when i do go to bed early and i'm all caught up on my sleep let's say i go to bed eight or nine i could sleep till four o'clock in the afternoon the next day no problem i also have this alarm clock it like vibrates your bed it's called the sonic boom it flashes leds at you it's like the loudest alarm clock in the world and that still doesn't wake me up what are you thinking about right now i've got a vibrating alarm clock in his bed can't wait till morning he's not getting up on purpose he's got to just like for your dad feel even after you get that thing back to pristine condition it'd be like if your girl cheated on you or something and and you guys get over it but then in the back of your mind you're just like uh it's just not the same it's been ran through a little bit here yeah that is how it's been beat up about their cars it's been beat up and don't get me it's okay if he beats it up yeah someone else is yeah but corvette guys ain't beating their cars up right you ain't beating it sometimes not every week saturday nights we're beating it up gosh that's funny it is funny there's like hard i'll run it hard every so often there's like corvette ryan beats the shit out of his but any other corvette owner i there's very few and far ryan's feeling far between i think the first time i ever rode in ryan's corvette just not in the room you guys aren't gonna believe this dalton is actually ai generated that actually even been here imagine dalton just like pixelates right here we're like it was all prank on you wait wait stand up and move so we can do that shot just get out of the shot for one second here you go ryan just cgi some shit i'm a podcast editor bro i i take audio and picture and splice you guys you three i'm not steven spielberg seriously you guys are seriously you guys don't know how to do this you are the three editors in the room that camera is on a tripod all you have to do is transition to a clip where he's not in it it's the easiest thing ever you just put a little avatar mike we don't have that type of budget are you being serious you drive past your house and you got the tiniest dock and then also the tiniest little boat like it looked pretty good and then i feel like you need that out front because it lets the women know that's the shoreline yeah i was cracking up because cj kept going oh look it is the tiniest dock i've ever seen and i was like dude i don't know how to do this i don't know how to do this don't know what you're talking about i can't even see a dock i see the lift i see the boat and the tiny little boat was covering the dock the dock is nine feet long it was less i think it was five yeah a lot of guys feel like they need to compensate on the lake ken feels so secure in himself he goes the opposite direction smallest boathouse smallest dock a little lift with a tiny pontoon shoreline impact zone you were just worried about your neighbors thinking You were too rich. - Yeah, no, I don't want to back that up. bad impression for the neighbors don't want to flex on them that hard the upside down pineapple flag or you driving that driving that chevy through your house a week after you bought it that was not a that was i think they already have their ideas on you the neighbors actually loved that because every single one of them hated that house they were they're happy to see but then they see you should have a tiny pontoon what the fuck is that they're all coming home and be like i'm so happy that we're you know finally back at our lake house and then your wife walks in before you oh my god honey what oh my god i think the neighbor's gonna chase you next door i think the neighbor's gonna try to chase me the neighborhood's gone to shit it's not even a 27 footer i thought the poors weren't allowed to live on this beach and then they see ken walking down hopping and putzing it to yeah that thing's not staying in front of my house ken i heard you kicked a tv the other day god damn it i was hoping that wasn't gonna come out in my defense that is too good of a story not to tell yeah i may have blacked out and uh broken a tv why take us through full story okay so starting with what you were we're at it we're at the chili cook-off and the person whose house it was at she was like yeah i need a new tv and it was like fuck it i'll just buy her a new tv because it was black friday that weekend and tvs were on sale this is before kicking the tv you were already no this was after that next day okay no no no no you got to go through the whole thing uh so i actually don't remember because i blacked out and you always say that when you do something i actually don't remember i don't even remember remember doing it i'm like me after being told after the fact the next day i love we're just sitting at the bar someone goes yo careful watch out that tv ken's here we all look at each other go huh what wait what he goes yeah he kicked a tv and we're like oh tell us more oh hey cody updates we were just chatting on the podcast today and we were we were wondering about a little more information on the whole ken kicking in tv incident sure i don't know why he had it in his brain that he needed to destroy the tv i think maybe because she needed a bigger one or something and so he just he was like oh we should just destroy it and we're like no no no like let's just leave it i thought we had him talked off the you know yeah all of a sudden he's like kicking the tv off the nightstand and like stomping on it and all this stuff holy smokes we'd originally gone in back to her apartment because we were going to kind of clean up after the chili party because so this wasn't at the chili party we're not going to clean up after the chili party we're not going to clean up after the chili party we're last year we flipped everything in her house upside down what wasn't ken a leader of that too ken was a leader of this yes he shut her water off he was taking light bulbs ken's version of flirting is just going into a chick's house and just destroying everything okay last year last year to buy her a gift but you felt embarrassed about it so you had to ruin it to justify the gift and you should slash her tires next time i'll come with i'll come with you we should do it as long as you buy your new ones after i think we should that'd be great prank trust me she'll love it it's one of those things where you wake up the next morning you're like what the fuck did i do i wish you wish that's all you had to regret wouldn't that be nice oh fuck it was just a shitty tv and i already ordered it last night you could plug your tesla in at her house and then run up her power bill and pay it you could drive your bronco right through the garage door and then get him a new garage door and if her car is in there you can buy the car too you could clog her toilet and then do her plumbing for her it's like fucking he puts in hotel plumbing it's good for like hundreds of people it's just industrials six inch pipes oh my god i finally got my voicemails back from the wedding like so we had like a phone it was like the guest book oh dang it i forgot to do that oh did i i don't know i haven't listened there's there's a bunch so it's just like a little old school phone you pick it up you leave a message and uh i got the messages back and i gotta play the one that evan left don't worry it's like it's pretty standard it's it's funny none of it makes any sense at all yeah um we only had one towel and uh like he wasn't staying there were pubes on my bedsheets hahaha he wasn't staying anywhere it's probably fine i get it but uh yeah i i honestly i just want my money back i haven't thought he was on the phone with with uh like customer service yeah that's hilarious i think i just thought it would be funny when you come back yeah so i figured that i mean it's as random as it gets and then he leaves another one and it gets a little sad and i'm pretty fucking horny right now i just i just want someone to talk to i'm not in a good place oh my god so if you call me back that'd be great ken just doesn't want these storage units put up because it's right across from his bar and then he has to like get drunk and look at storage units yeah that'd be a shame that's where they draw the line like even if it was another block away from the lake that way from his bar once it's out of the shoreline impact zone there would be zero fuss because he wouldn't have to do any of this like go to the county stuff man we are turning into locals aren't we yeah there you go ken just said shoreline impact zone yeah but watch out it's coming for the shoreline impact zone is that what you call your boathouse no but that's what i had to do let's get my that's what i do to get my photo but there is no bed so how can it be in it that doesn't matter he's got a couch gosh that is the shoreline impact zone holy shit that's pretty good that's just a new name of his we're locked in his boathouse is now the shoreline impact zone let's get him a sign i think you gotta buy it right now oh it's on ebay just add the cart deposit of one thousand dollars is required done you need to take a loan with my credit card or deposits are non-refundable the podcast could put up a thousand dollars yeah luckily your deposit this isn't you have to pay back does the podcast have a thousand dollars to put up yeah it's just it's all tied up yeah well assets and investments right now yeah it's ironic that i've literally thought that i've looked at every gen five viper for sale right now but he finds he sent me one that i haven't seen it's insane i swear ken has some like back alley entrance to these apps just got car gurus and auto tempest that's like the two to look at because they have everything like i think you should buy positive one thousand dollars is required it's non-refundable that's not the end of the world trump changed for money i'm not a worse no i press buy it now yeah just press buy it now i'd do that at 125 yeah at least that'd be a good video and then we can go and get it pick it up there's a make an offer option on there not on this one i was hoping for that come on mike the podcast needs a thumbnail for real mike buys a viper live on the podcast the account it's been highly anticipated and buying you ever use the chat gpt where you're like literally talking to them yeah uh here like if you go what are the benefits of knickknack and why are people raving about them hey it sounds like you guys are nowhere is it all if you have any other questions she sounds kind of hot can you change the voice of your dude yeah you're turning it up you know what's funny that you say damn she's kind of hot her voice i got a little jammed up last night because i use chat gpt all day long and i'm at home and i'm talking to this thing who is that it's chat gpt why does she sound like that and like she started getting jealous alex she's like sends this to her friends like he can change the voice then she's all like you need to change the voice i'm like i'm not changing the voice i like it yeah so dude like i got a little bit of an issue with that she's like laying in bed she just hears cj go tell me something sweet it was kind of getting smoky so i was like all right like this is just like we got to shut it down so i shut it down and so what i think happened is because i i didn't feel the cut so i don't really know when it happened like gavin could have flung a piece of glass off on his wheel and it could have hit my arm and cut it i could have that's not what happened yeah there's no way yeah so what i think has happened i stepped off the bike and my bike stayed standing up and the windowsill was to my left and i i was walking and i slipped and put my arm out to catch myself but it went out the window and then went and then i fell down and touched the windowsill but then i was chill i was chilling totally chilling i don't know if you were chilling i was like i gotta get out of the house it's too smoky so i start walking to the front door and i look down and my arm is just completely sliced open so and i'm like boys hospital now and i walk straight over to dalton i'm like dude you got to take your belt off and wrap it around this as tight as you can and he's like i'm like dude no like you need to take your belt off right now like we don't have any time to spare normally he doesn't hesitate when you tell him to do that these are like 19 i'd say probably 80s dual pane windowsill like two separate frames that are apart with just a space in between like old style windows no glass protection you know no tempering where they shatter into little things that don't hurt like this is classic like saw saw movie grade glass that's thick ass big like jagged pieces ready to cut just ready to cut yeah sliced yeah and so i don't know we just took it too far and but i think it was yeah the high heels that really did yeah well so the situation the wine and the high heat and the spaghetti sauce on the floor like i was slight i mean who would have thought that those high heels would be evan you gotta look at this one you gotta take a look at this one you know when you look back at it you really wonder what the fuck were we doing oh my god my leg has been pretty gnarly actually i think it's can you can you show it without like uh yeah it's yeah i'll take my pants getting inappropriate camera for sure i don't know if you can i mean it's not bad look how long his underwear are he's fine he has a poop stain doesn't he he has a poop stain that's bad turn around turn around turn around ryan you're gonna have to sit there for a second you're gonna have to sit there for a second being a youtuber is hard and in order to do it you have to want it every single bone in your body has to want it and i've been doing it for over five six whatever seven years riding motorcycles around the country you know risking my life possibly freedom yep and i've been on rides where like people are getting seriously hurt you know where people had passed away and at the bottom of it too i also didn't really want to be a youtuber like i didn't like all the attention like when i was on these rides and like you know we'd go out to bars whatever and like i remember being younger and like guys were buying me beers and i'm like oh god buys me a beer i gotta talk to him now you know this this and i was like god like i just didn't like that energy of like i don't know if you like me or you just want like to be close to me because i have like these like i couldn't tell and i didn't like that energy and it was kind of like i can't ride like this forever i don't really like the attention i'm getting burned out on editing and i just realized i didn't want to do it yeah and it you know being youtuber it's hard and you guys have a great team you kill it and it's awesome to watch i just realized i was like it's just not for me i did it to the best that i could i got to a level where i got a taste of kind of a lot of the things that come with it you know you get the you can make good money the fame the attention the connections like i got it all and i was like i just just doesn't seem like something i want to do long term and maybe i'll in five years from now i'll be back at it full but i don't i don't think so i think i just i stopped it and i accepted i'm like i'm not doing this and i felt way better we were on the sidewalk watching the street performer he was a rapper and he was actually doing really good like i actually gave him like a 20 tip because he was actually spitting bars yeah yeah like it was good give him some money we're having a beer watching him and i'm like man this just seems like the appropriate time to like light a joint get surrounded like how fast officers well we were halfway through the joint so you had a couple minutes yeah yeah yeah at least i got stoned before the experience oh thank god that probably eased your nerves we were kind of more out in the open so they they took us to get over here got us like backed up against the wall they got us surrounded um and this whole time i'm just like holding it and it's smoldering and i'm like focusing on this officer and i just feel a rubber glove grabs my wrist with one hand with the other hand the lady just grabs it it's just like looking at it i don't know why but it's just so funny to me i mean it's a freaking joint it's legal i'm pretty sure in half the country and then uh meanwhile your cousin and will were in the bathroom weren't they like they oh yeah they walked out like holy shit cousin joe never recovered from mimosa morning okay he just stayed in bed will had just walked into the walgreens to buy us a round of coctillions so so when he walks in we're watching this street performer he comes out two minutes later and we're just swarmed by federales and uh his face was just truly like just like the double take you know just me and nicky backed up against the wall they put you in like cuffs no no no and they had you surrounded they were surrounded and honestly they were very nice they they didn't overly hassle us they were just very firm either way we're fired up we got the best fans in the world dude it's crazy actually so respectful yeah they are they're just they're just good good people good kids we've definitely curated uh an insane community yeah honestly no lows it was all highs but there was a really high high someone proposed in the booth oh yeah yeah yeah shout out to those guys congratulations happy couple we might be invited to the wedding ken might be the ordained you might have to get my license yeah the officiant yeah i don't know i'll figure it out you guys got any advice i mean i asked evan he didn't have anything you could like think about other things don't think about three wheelers yeah just think about other things think about four wheelers um turns you off you could do less motion too yeah i feel like if you're you're doing like a lot of like this if you know what i mean but you did less range of motion but just kept it close because like it's not really about the range of motion really yeah okay i like i mean if you're trying to really get it done like get them going yeah like it's not really about your range i don't think it's more so about the contact like this if you know what i'm saying really actually making it happen is this not is this too much i mean i'm just that's my advice to you so like that that that could help with uh prolonging it and then also like if you're like just about to to release what you can do is switch positions but take a little long getting into this new position like so that way you have how long does it take me to roll over yeah you know like like take your time take your time take your time and then like you know you you can maybe gain some more time there um yeah that would be my two things but yeah you maybe got to just try and disconnect i can't disconnect i mean it's like anything else where i get too flustered then i just keep getting more flustered it ends bad are you oh yeah if you're thinking yeah are you getting pretty like active such as are you sweating a lot yeah are you like sweating like i'm sweating right now sweating right now like i we might even talked about this in the last podcast we did yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when jake like rides a snowmobile like he's just doing all these unnecessary exaggerated exaggerated motion right and i feel like you're maybe doing the same just way too much in bed probably you're probably right too yeah i don't know i don't know what it is either i gotta figure it out though i mean there's something wrong with me right now dalton can't even do a burnout with his tires he did it last night actually yeah it was it was raining no you didn't do it last night you almost fucked me oh funniest thing ever what happened what happened last night the cummins is idling in the parking lot while dalton's inside singing songs oh we didn't know he was singing he's got the camera propped up he's singing to it next to a dirt bike and then you just see him look because he hears his truck start spooling up in the driveway so you hopped in it that f yep hopped in it uh gav said you know is this thing do a burnout so i was attempting to spool it up and spin the tires a little and by that time dalton came running out drug me out of the truck so so it could do a burnout he ended up getting in it and uh i think he was angry with me so he took it out on his truck you ripped a burnout at 11 p.m at night yeah so who did the burnout dalton he did it dalton it was no burnouts at 10 30 at night we have neighbors and your truck is loud good job not doing a burnout evan so much restraint out of you what do you mean not doing a burnout you did a burnout well i don't mean did i well i did i definitely did not do what dalton did i saw the snap of it or whatever and i was like oh yeah that one that was loud dude i mean are we gonna get the clip i'll show you in a second but what you did you didn't have lock up on and basically that locks up the converter to spin the tires if you don't have that on you can toast the trans in like 45 seconds but i didn't but you you said 45 seconds i was in it for five you would have stayed in if i don't didn't come running out sound like gavin i knew that was coming you sound like you looked right at me only stay in it for five damn it dude we've been doing better we're back on the rocker what do you have at 10 now oh we're back to 15 dude 15 seconds i'm not uf can you tell him what you told me this morning we are stopping do there's no if he would have with that lady it would have even it wouldn't even been really worth it because it would have been so quick oh that's honestly in my head half the time too i mean yeah it saved me there just because looking back now i'm glad i didn't but yeah in the head you're like it's not even worth it five seconds yeah why am i going to disappoint her and me so you did a burnout in his truck when it was raining well i tried to and it didn't really burn out and then he came out and then he did an actual burnout and then we parked the chuck and then we came inside and did some wheelies on the starks this is the funniest i don't think there's anything wrong with me just wanting to privately sing a little bit and record it i mean there's nothing wrong with thirst traps it's kind of cool i don't post singing content i just like to sing sometimes that's it everyone everyone's gonna see it so let's run it why'd you film it oh i know why but i won't say that's up to him you're the best you're the best dude no way that's funny that is so funny it almost sounds like your truck's getting stolen and then did you think it was getting stolen or what'd you think well i mean at that point he had no idea where we were like he didn't know we had just pulled up no i knew you i knew you guys were at zorba's so i left my truck running and i was gonna come meet you guys and hang out and i was just about to leave like literally right song right after that and well i'm a cornball and can i see it can i check on this got ruined i don't blame you for singing and doing what you want looks like a little kid that stole his dad's work truck all right here we go what are you gonna burn out right now this is a little kid that stole his dad's work truck oh he's outside uh spenny had an idea that he pitched me and that was he would get fake tits for fifty thousand dollars no i never proposed that you guys talked about i never proposed yes you did all right all right all right all right cody sherbrooke proposed it to me asked if we would fund it and if we would fund it spenny would do it steve was talking about doing this yep and so i went to spenny i said is this true and he said i wouldn't do it for 50 i said well what's the price we landed on 75 we landed on 75 but we're gonna have a contract for deed it's 50 gonna own them for the first year it's fifty thousand dollars up front he gets that and then if he keeps them for the year he gets five thousand dollars every two months holy shit dude you can just be coasting to get to this deal yeah and he's our let's just say this cj he's already finding what he's gonna buy with that fifty thousand dollars this i was i actually was mapping out what i was gonna buy he's gonna go for a down payment on a house and a nice iced out chain what's the chain say nice tits yeah ryan almost tackled you off the bike we were gonna get canceled for that burnout that i was like we are going cj did a burnout on a rainbow crosswalk on pride corner i'd have done it on a normal crosswalk too i don't discriminate probably the worst part about being friends with you guys is i have to be on edge 24 7 i'll be in puerto rico and think something's gonna go on your life on edge yeah he really never knows like are they pulling a prank on me i know i'm in a whole nother country but you never know no freaking clue wait what happened in puerto rico that you thought could have been us that was just an example but dude i was in the sauna the other day and some guy starts talking to me all weird like just starts talking to me like giving me some stats like i'll talk to me about the watch he goes i'm not talking about my watch and i go like really yeah it just started being like a total weird what'd you have on why was he wearing a watch in a sauna because he was a weird dude he was on something bro i have no clue what the guy was on but i was like all right the boys are probably trolling me or like i don't know what they're doing i don't know what they're doing i don't like the boys are telling this guy to go like this dude's gonna be like in 30 years from now he'll still be like are the boys pulling something on me oh seriously rolly boy here we go oh look at him throwing it up look at him throwing it up oh my gosh keep that tongue in your mouth was it a long time coming you're 19 yeah you're fucking 19 with a rock yeah man i've waited my whole life for this aren't you aren't you heading out to a little wine night right now it is actually that i was on my way what goes down on wine night you just drink as much as you want yeah fall asleep yeah some people call it falling asleep some people call it passing out it is so interesting because everyone's got their character in this world and there's some pretty promiscuous looking women on there so i get the base character sometimes i'm a man sometimes i'm a girl like i don't have anything special going on here but when i got the girl i'm sitting there in third person running behind it i'm like this girl she's kind of got a dump on her she's kind of got a dump on her no no that's you it's interesting mike there's family guy characters bobs burgers simpsons you can have so many different characters but there's some like i mean there's characters that are basically like an anime hot chick premium skin and i'm i'm sitting there i'm like dude these little boys are probably like fired up fired up over the animated i mean i by no means was fired up but i thought to myself i thought to myself they knew what they were doing when they shaped this girl's behind her boston whatever else i love when you just pause and for 4.99 you can get an even bigger one that's the thing yeah you can upgrade to bbl you can give the you can i don't know i don't i well they sell like different characters well there's different characters like yeah you can get it's insane so anyways it's it's a whole new thing where we could be cooked as a society like they talk about watching the p word online and how less and less guys are having actual sex now because it's just way easier to just go jerk one out to that nothing wrong with hooking up with the torta every now and then you got it a what the torta what's that just a bigger woman a bigger woman i had i was not talking about weight here gav but you always tell that i want to google this p-o-r-t-a look at these these so interactive back there he wants to double check he wants to double check the weight in mexico a torta is a type of sandwich filled with a variety of meats cheeses vegetables and sauces the term can also refer to a cake or a flatbread in other spanish-speaking regions what what so are you eating a lot of these sandwiches or what bro where'd you learn that see here here's the thing is we say so much dumb shit on this podcast and nobody ever questions us we're just saying we're spreading misinformation for the words that we're saying right here and evan's keeping us honest i got one more though uh according to um urban dictionary torta is also slang for an overweight mexican woman oh there we go all right yeah really i just did what i could to make this place a home and that's what you do you throw garbage on the floor yeah as you know i've been uh kind of thinking about getting a tattoo lately and uh did a little something in sturgis got a little tattoo it's warm in here should we give him uh the reveal yes we should where is it what do we think of that that's not too bad oh really okay oh that's good you like it that's good yeah oh yeah there we go hey that's good i thought i was gonna take some heat yeah spenny thought that he was gonna have to get it laser removed yeah oh really yeah spenny was like my mom's gonna whoop me i thought you guys he did mad about it ev can you tell the story about when you woke up and the neighbor's dog was in your bed wait what uh i got home from the bar at like 1 30 in the morning and standing right by the front door of the shop was waffles so i was pumped i was like heck yeah waffles like let's go hang out watch tv for a little bit go in the shop and we're watching tv and i fell asleep and so i wake up at like seven in the morning have to go take a leak so i walked to the bathroom basically with my eyes closed take a leak walk back into my room and just like get the living shit scared out of me because waffles is just like standing there tongue out just happier in hell i'm like oh my god like what are you doing here you got to get out you got to go home cj is that your second banana you were eating or is that the original one you're eating when you were sitting you it doesn't look like it's gotten any shorter but you've been eating a banana for five you had a peel in your hand you've eaten two bananas in less than six minutes i've not won dude i have not seen somebody eat as much as i've seen cj eat dude well when you work out you're on the go you need to stay you know punished you know i guess yeah you do you do need to eat but it's like you chew longer i do yeah i think that's why that's what it is like usually you just see someone yep yeah and then back to it but it's like you're constantly chewing i'm like i chew it and then i swallow it but ben eats like a malnourished child you have like dsd from your kids or from your kid child your childhood like he's a fucking io that just had a Like, it's fighting. There's six things, and it's eating, like, a little bit of scraps off the road. Like, he's got his arms up like this. Look, he has food in his mouth right now. He couldn't swallow his food and then say what he wanted to say. Where are you guys going? We're going to miss our flight seat. Let's go. All right, see you. Did you remember to turn the audio on? Should the record be green or red? What color is it right now? Because it's supposed to be green. Green. Okay, good. Shut the fuck up. Dude, wasn't, like, the first podcast we ever filmed not recorded? No, it was, like, a different time. We were, like, three-fourths through, and Ken goes, oh, fuck. Ev's dad is the best golfer I've ever played with. Really? Deadass. He's so good. He's the complete polar opposite of Evan. I was going to say, what do you think about Evan? Yeah, he doesn't hit the ball very far, but he's just a sniper, and his short game is lethal. Wow. I'll tell you this story. We played in a scramble last year. It was, like, a charity event. Ev was like, yo, my dad will play with us. And I was like, okay, that sounds good. He shows up. We get on the first hole. It's par three. All of us shank our balls all over the place. It was me, Evan, Tommy, my brother-in-law, and Grandpa Ron. So imagine that crew. And then Ev's dad, right? So we're all over the place. Ev's dad gets up, sticks it to, like, I don't know, six feet. I'm, like, clapping. I'm like, John. What a shot. He's got a stogie in his mouth, right? And he goes, relax. We'll be doing that all day. Dude, it was the most savage. It was the most savage comment after a golf shot ever. It was so cocky. And I was like, all right, all right. Sure enough, did it every shot. It was just John Daly. Maybe you should stop being so cheap. There's a rumor floating around. Yeah, you're spending all your money, and now you're going cheap on us. It's not right, Mike. Rumor has it that you're not. You're not having an open bar at your wedding. For me to do an open bar, like, full open bar through Spanky's, like, I saw their prices. Like, why are we doing, like, eight bucks for a vodka drink? So they charge you full retail on those suckers, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, where's the happy medium? So how much was that getting cost? Thousands and thousands. Well, obviously thousands, but, like, more than 5,000? I don't know. I hit up two-turn Tony's, so there'll be, like, unlimited two-turn Tony's. Oh, let's go. We're good then. To me, that's, like. How do they feel about that? How do who? People catering to wedding. That's what I thought was funny. So I was like, how does that work? And then they're just like, oh, yeah, whatever you bring is free game. Oh, sick. So I could just show up with a bunch of Crown bottles and Grey Goose bottles, you know, like. Yeah, you just need some bartenders. I would just do that then. Yeah. You could literally go to the liquor store and just buy a couple cases of Crown. That's actually the wedding. I can help you booze shop if you'd like. The weddings that I've been to where there's just a counter full of, like, ice and booze, that's my preferred. Like, if you can make your own drink as stiff or not as stiff and you can you're never like, who do I tip here? Or how much do I tip since the drinks are free or whatever? But, yeah, I got, like, unlimited Tonys. That's actually lit. Let's go. And I might have a lead on I'm going to throw back and bring some Doc X. That would be pretty legendary, too, actually. It's got to be. It had to have. They quit making that shit, like, five years ago. Are you sure? That's not a true statement. I'm pretty sure they still sell it. They still sell it. I still see Instagram posts. It's just a Wisconsin drink like it always has been. Really? Yeah. Oh. So, Mike's wedding is sponsored by Doc X. So, Sydney and I's favorite. Sydney's walking down with a big X on her dress. At what point does rock crawling become cool? 27 beers. I ran $100 up to $7,000. What? Yes. $6,900 profit. And then? And then I'm such a sicko, I lost all $7,000. Yes! And I put $1,000 back in and lost that, too. That's exactly what I would do. Yeah. No, it was so bad. It was so bad. How bad of a losing heater did you get on? Well, I started putting a lot of money in. So, like, you know, I was very slowly working my way up and down. And I would, throughout the day of travel, I was up and I would be at, like, $6,000. I'd maybe go to $4,000 and then I'd get back at $6,000. These are big swings. I was at $7,000. Well, I was getting. You know, pretty big hands. But, yeah. It's so easy when it's just a fake number. I'm sick to my stomach and disgusted with myself to do that. And that's when I realized, I'm like, I can't have this. And, of course, my immediate thought is, why don't I just put $2,000 in and throw it in on one hand? And I could get it back up. Mac is a blind graphic designer. He was in the trenches this weekend. Like, he was driving the bus around. If you guys saw that, he did a great job. He had everything in sight, I guess, or out of sight for him. And, like. He crashed a three-wheeler. He didn't hop back on that after that. Our weekend was kind of giving, like, bachelor party vibes. It was our version of a corporate outing. Collectively, let's say, everybody had five, six drinks on the course, not counting the four shotguns that were had. And the shot. You know, it's like, he doesn't drink at all. And then he comes around us. And then, dude, he was. No, no. They do. They do drink. And that's why we were on our worst behaviors because they were just. Yeah, they do. But, like, Mac doesn't drink like that, dude. He was. No one's shot. No one should. I'll tell you that much. No one should drink, like, the way that we were behaving this weekend. It was not good. Our editor was here, too, Pat. I talked to him this afternoon. It's Tuesday. And he goes, how are you feeling? I was like, good. I didn't drink after Friday. How are you feeling? He was like, I'm just feeling okay now. He was like, I woke up still hungover this morning. Dude, on those big weekends, that's how it goes. You need, like, two or three days till you're actually back feeling good. Yeah, it was heavy. Or just don't stop. That is true. I'm ready to do it. Don't stop. And also doesn't clean up after himself, so. Oh, what? I mean, I'm not. What do you mean I don't clean up? What do you mean? I'm pretty well about it. Am I not? Did you clean up the fudge bar at Ben's? 100% I did. That's because that was so bad and you got called out in the moment. Shred 8 fell asleep with a fudge bar in his mouth. If someone wasn't a cop that you fell asleep with a fudge bar and then got all over the couch, you would have just woke up and been like, all right, what are we doing today? And you would have left. And then Ben would have. You came like an hour. Why is there fudge over my couch? You know I. And then Ben would be cleaning it up and you'd be out riding your three-wheeler. Oh, my gosh. No. Probably fucking piling it up somewhere. Definitely doing that. Gav did know that he spilled that little fudge bar on the couch, though, because when he woke up the next morning, he came and I was sitting on the couch and I knew he was sitting there and he comes up, he walks by, grabs a blanket and just nods a lot and he pulls it over his face. So you weren't going to clean it up. He wasn't. He was just going to try to move on. It wasn't him. It couldn't have been anyone. He literally just walked and he's like, oh, a little fudge stain. Gives it a little scratch and pulls the blanket over. You've been outed. God damn it, Benny. Whose fudge stain is it? He's still got fucking fudge on his beard. What does it mean? He's still got it on his beard. What does it mean? I don't even eat fudge. Somebody put a fudge stain on the couch. and then just walks into the kitchen and i was like already crying laughing i was like this is way too funny so i uncovered it because i knew it was gonna be i was just trying to hide it from ben i was gonna clean it no matter what but i was just trying to hide it before he saw it and then he saw it it was partially his fault it's three in the morning he offers me a fudge stick gavin's like the kid on a trike eating a fudge stick yeah dude i'm getting really close to the end of finishing i have probably a quarter of the left and i knew i was falling asleep and that's where i should have stood up i'm always passing the blame to somebody else but you just blame ben for giving you a treat that you made a mess this is literally gavin yeah that's literally gavin fudge well this place is starting to smell like cj's nuts again oh no look he's even got him in his hand right now speaking of your hometown mike did you see who uh who's running for your new mayor what the fargo's mayor race uh heating up next year we're here with jake coulter jake obviously you are one of the candidates for fargo's mayor um i know you're a national guardsman but tell us a little bit more about your background yeah my name is jake coulter i'm running for mayor i'm an army national guard you're a national guard you're a national guard i'm a brother son and uncle my family's ruined the city and that's why i intend to make it a better safe place oh man why is this so funny to you i don't think it's funny i just think yeah he's 20 years old he's running for mayor of holly no fargo of farg that's an insane like i'm like i think it's great should somebody get in there and shake things up fargo's going to shit dude they're getting stolen yeah bro yeah so i think he could clean up i don't know about that i think he could clean up the streets clean up the streets you won't have stolen papillos anymore you probably figure out where your papillo is but uh i don't know i just think it's i just i bet he would i bet he would clean it up well initially when it got sent to me i thought it was a joke i was like oh that's funny like 20 year old sent this in the group chat with a bunch of laughing okay you guys know who that is nobody responded okay you guys know who that is except for i think alex was like i think alex goes what's your deal oh is it not funny i i walked in the house you showed me this video and i just walked downstairs i just walked downstairs didn't say a word to him i'm not shitting on it i just think it's funny i read the article and was like fully okay we're laughing now like the dude's got my vote yeah because i'd vote for him too i'd 100 vote not because i feel bad i feel i feel bad for laughing but i i like it but i do gosh i got a kick out of like he's just said he's like i'm down to do whatever it takes if we need frontline men so it's like if if we need more snow removal guys i'll get my snowplow license and i'll go out there until 2 a.m pretty soon this guy's removing snow yeah i know he's like holy shit i should not have said that it's the snowiest winter the last i i like the kid i just initially thought it was funny because i thought it was like maybe you a prank like imagine me being like hey ken you should run for mayor which we did one time and i'm like holy shit this kid's taking it really far he's even getting on the news and like taking it seriously like imagine then he ends up winning but i don't know it's just funny he's 19 20 that's crazy youngest mayor yeah you should run against him ten would fucking i i think we should uh sponsor a run for calise to be mayor move uh move calise out of cormorant haven't heard much from her classic i think when missing no one having to know whereabouts it'd be great for you to be mayor but honestly waffles is gonna get my vote next election damn damn can't even can't even support the homies waffles is the fucking homie well cj we wanted to bring somebody in that we thought would be good for you to sit face to face with so we hit him up and uh if you want to come on in here and let's just say he was happy to sit down and have a debate with you it's jake coulter running for mayor of fargo welcome jake nice to meet you holy shit dude what's up yo thanks for coming appreciate it i'm not gonna be debating him i'm on his side well yeah i don't know i heard i heard some jokes i heard some laughs on the on the left i mean i can't i just laugh at everything i do want to say i guess just to clarify and i think i clarified on that podcast yeah the reason i initially thought it was funny is because i had nominated one of my young friends as mayor and everyone thought it was ridiculous but for me it was just a joke so then i was like just i've never heard of someone young running for mayor and i thought is he pulling a prank on people and then i realized the more i looked into it that you're very serious about it yeah and that's when i was like dude i'm backing this guy like i like him and i do have one thing could i could i hand yeah bring it in bring it in dude it's nice like i got surprised like i i genuinely like it was a bro i thought you were bringing someone else i thought i thought you were somebody funny i thought you were bringing in the the vikings cheerleader yeah we got that's who i thought why why did you convince dalton it was like we didn't have to convince him dude well why did you just even mention it one time we didn't bro no we didn't even mention it we didn't we're sitting there driving this thing so we we drove in three different vehicles here we did groups of three it was in my vehicle myself ben and dalton at about hour 10 dalton must have been a little delirious and he just kind of chimes in from the back seat he goes wait is it evan's birthday oh so this is like you're i'm sorry when you said driving i'm thinking we're like driving the cars on the track you're talking this goes back a couple days this goes back to yesterday yesterday morning yesterday morning okay sorry yeah so you're driving him from the hotel yeah and he goes it's evan's birthday and we go yeah he goes oh what the why didn't anyone say anything like what oh he hates his birthday like he doesn't like the attention you know he's like oh dude what if i decorate his room up and get him a cake and i kind of forgot about it until you know he was mia at 11 p.m at night and then i they were setting up your room and obviously you walked in and took the cake to the face dude i've never seen ever in my life someone so hilarious covered in cake yeah you look pretty funny i've seen a lot of videos of people getting their face smashed in cake i've never i could not stop laughing at the the cake man that you turn into i felt like it's kind of like in the movies and for comedy like when you pie someone's face the pies they use for comedy are usually just whipped cream so it really like makes a mess and i feel like that's kind of how that cake was it was so much frost just white frosting and you were just like oil based you're just covered in cake and you're just like pissed you're like well it made no sense like it made no sense like why is dalton in in my race car bed hanging pink confetti balloons and and then he's standing with a cake which i knew was where that cake was gonna go and he tells you happy birthday and it's not even your birthday yeah none of it made any sense i don't think i was pissed i was just like what are we doing here like it's late what why why is this happening and then when you guys said that dalton actually thought it was my birthday then it was hilarious all my neighbors found out that uh we had a podcast because i was telling some like hoa drama oh yeah that's right on the podcast right after i moved in and it just spread like wildfire then what they hate you did you go take no no no i don't get as many as i used to and i i think that i might have and i also think that like they look at me as like a loose cannon of like spreading the information to the world about like neighborhood the neighborhood drama basically and so one i think i might be excluded from some emails but two i think they maybe like let something slide because they run a pretty tight ship right and like i've never had any problems and like i've heard a couple of my neighbors say like i'm not neighbors have been like oh did this happen did so and so say this to you i was like no what really that's surprising and then i started thinking about like oh maybe they just like don't want me to go on and just like exploit them on the podcast now i don't know which i wouldn't but they're only doing three fertilizer applications each year to save money or something yeah that was what happened when i moved in that does happen on the podcast you'll say something about someone or about a situation and you'll say something about someone in your head you're just expecting or hoping that they don't listen to it even though you know damn well they they're gonna have someone that sends it to them or whatever like it's not hard to intake that information dude anyone who's around us doesn't matter who you are there's that possibility that we're gonna talk about you on the podcast you're gonna get roped into something that's told to the whole world normally we're good about leaving names out but yeah your story is not safe with us the worst part is even if you think you might be good oh it was good i didn't do anything too crazy or mean or bad or funny or outlandish for them it's always a bigger deal but yeah then we can make a meme about anything man some people just need to lose the password to their bank account yeah 100 and jake is one of them you've always been like that though which i can respect you know some guys just never change like if we're gonna have fun i'm there to have fun like yeah yeah it's great it was a lot of fun it was a great time but people like you know there's two ways of being like financially irresponsible and like just like you know for example like evan could be one and you could be another it's just two different perspectives of financially irresponsible you know it takes in a flamboyant the same job i'm usually always investing i'm losing my mind kind of moves in the shadows of blowing his money you do yeah you do it's like we're like what happened there like i think evan is like doing good like he's up big and then next thing i know he's just a fucking five thousand dollars and he's all pissed off i'm like how last time i saw you you were up five grand i was just doing it for the snapchat content because we were like we were making the bets i was down i was up then we went to the table and i was just like yeah this is making a great story yeah it was great it was it was great it was awesome i appreciate i appreciate it from like my end jake like it could not have been more entertaining from like just a spectator you guys can't argue at the end of the day me and dalton hang out more with each other ride the track just do whatever than anybody does in the whole crew right so that's why we had to just squash the beef no i'm saying when this beef was going i mean don't say beef but i mean there's there was it wasn't real beef it's when you're good friends with somebody you bust their balls or you not literally i think everyone got that but yeah no i dude it's just i'm not sure if i have uh with the big kind of relationship with anyone i don't know i would say since you bust my balls all the time since since dalton what yeah you do like about my belly yeah i still have liquid in my hip it's not for me yeah why is that just such a weird thing to say yeah dude i don't know if you have liquid in your hip it's probably just blood or water because that's what your body's made up of yeah fluid no it's it's in like it's been infected for like three months it's just a little bit of evan's liquid where sleeping beside gavin in a tube man tent yeah was the worst thing i've ever done terrible bowling a china shop he literally rolled onto me probably 15 times oh sorry like he was literally like laying half on me and i had to like wake up and like roll him off and he like wasn't ever awake i'm like gav gav like you're laying on my shoulder bro like you're laying halfway on my body zero clue just who's your call to get you out of jail well i know not you because you would never answer the phone i'm better about that he has always said that he has honestly i think cj cj always answers the phone honestly if i went to jail i'd call ken because i know ken would just come he'd drop know what to do show up he'd probably pay the bond or whatever the bail money we'd get out i'd be in the car let's not tell anyone about this yep i do think the last person i would i would call would be micah though because mike would be like oh yeah i'll i'll come get you out right away four days later you finally show up my hot take is you I love it because i keep messing them up what made you think i'll go for an early fist bump just to avoid the whole fucking agreed and you always feel like the thing is yeah just just get my fist bro here's the problem we meet somebody and there's seven of us standing in a group and so ben and cj walk in and they dap him up with like just a nice dap up okay now you've got five more people we've got five more people we've got five more people we've got five more people you've got fucking 32 more seconds of dap up ahead do we need to dap everybody up and go hey hey or do we just start some sort of group consensus exactly you don't know what's gonna happen a group hug i was going more for a hug than consensus but yes no we just have one person we we surround them and we all come together what's up dude hey bud bring it in you know how that people would be talking just in the like i guess industry of all the people we'd hang like can you imagine we go like oh you guys we all yeah we group hug cletus and then group hug squirrel and group hug like all the guys in the shop and they're like what the hell yeah i met the i met the c boys this weekend oh yeah how are they they ended up being okay but it started a little weird think about in one year how many people we meet and then you take the six or eight handshakes dap ups versus one quick group hug how much time we'd save in a whole year how much farther we'd have hours days maybe we send out a representative like we just send ken and say hi we are c boys tv and then it's quiet and then we just back up and then everyone comes in and yeah we could all gather and hold each other's hands with like one a chain yeah hands across america style like the power rangers where they form the megazord dude you guys are on to something here that's what i'm saying but then if everybody else daps gets to dap someone up and then i go great to meet you and i give them a nux they're like they're like what the fuck is up with this guy he doesn't want to dap me up me and ryan just didn't hit it off yeah it's happened all right who's the big dog then uh but there's many there's so many options like if you come in like this it's a handshake but some people will take this and then they twist it into something dumb it's when you when you bring it in and and then you you bring them in for the dap up and if you're like confident enough with what you're doing then it just all flows it's when it's when two people don't have confidence going into it it's like if one person just takes control of the situation they can just kind of like manhandle the situation but i'm just people just going up again there doesn't need to i've gotten a lot better i've gotten way better i'm way better than i was five years ago yeah yeah ken ken couldn't dap for his to save his life which you have gotten better hell of a lot better i'd say yeah but you couldn't make it's because of the hand-eye coordination what do you hate young boy cheeto i cannot get away from the oh that's funny no it's not funny it's not funny every single tiktok i post no matter what it is or what it's about hop hop in this hop hop in this and they do this little thing with the the gif now that you can comment a meme in tiktok tiktok you've seen that unbelievable yeah like the girlfriends all the girlfriends tiktoks are just loaded with c-boys memes and and half of them are uh evan looking like this saying cheeto and then the other half is evan with the cake on his face or the family guy holding up the little yeah that was pretty funny i like those ones but it's the ones where it's him with like the broken heart and it's cheeto or it's like yeah s-y-b-u something yeah but i gotta love that dude it's honestly so annoying they need to take out those pictures asap because it it actually does you'd prefer to just read the word cheeto no i actually did block that word they can't comment that anymore then they put in pictures and you can't block what they post the pictures yeah i love the internet of speech right there you can't this is a top one these days too now bro the internet is seriously undefeated of coming up with some funny ass memes it never stops it never stops what's some other what what is some other uh they went back to my old hot because like all my um just go go to sydney's yeah i'll go to alondra's or sydney's or they went back in like my old hockey like elite prospects thing and they grabbed a picture from like when i was a freshman in high school and it's just me with a fucking comb over holy shit that's good whoa that's funny i just realized they put the shirt on oh my gosh all right i'll grab this mike mike grab this airdrop for me if you can i know you guys have seen this one but this is one of my personal favorites holy crap i don't think it looks overly like me but it definitely looks like me you know who it is i don't think it looks overly cheeto dude i want them cheeto shoes for real those go hard used a lot of those orange ones remember at this point kids are just commenting that just to comment it yeah i don't think i don't think any of them know but the girlfriend's post that actually has nothing to do with you or you at all or really any of the c boys besides maybe the c boy they're filming and it's just loaded with dalton and evan comments it's just a trend these days it's yeah it's funny at some point you just got to embrace it because the more you hate it the more they're just going to dig in on it and i actually did learn he learned that after eight years just didn't fully embrace it and just literally it'll stop it's getting worse dog because they're realizing you hate it way better dude you have extra people that like you initially off the bat they hated you so we got like just this is this is like hold on hold on hold on no i gotta see the comments on this one this is just a picture of ryan under a rainbow i mean i would comment cheeto on that rig oh i haven't seen that i haven't seen that i haven't no i have not seen the family guy one like that is funny that's funny it's a classic what on earth so now uh and who who is that guy on the left there is that jake preissler that is that is ai is a hell of a drug thanks i'm wearing the same shorts who else is doing what we were doing and saying what we were saying that isn't high on math i was thinking he said that bro yeah no one travels more than shred aids so many freaking flights and especially at the beginning of the year it was pretty scary there's a lot of stigma around planes crashing and shit like that thankfully i haven't gone down it's the most dangerous thing he's doing it yeah he could eat that fall though that's what's going through my head is i'm like how am i gonna talk and roll where am i gonna put my head i do think i can get all the shit you're doing you're worried about flying now the black box would be disintegrated and gav would just stroll out of there wipe the dust off dude no one has had a crazier seven days than shred aids it's actually not been okay i don't know how you're still walking i definitely shouldn't be just tuck and roll you are built like a cinder block i'm so freaking lucky you guys like seriously lucky for my build and just stay in the gym i mean that's all i gotta say dude you are seriously like meant to be doing what you're doing right now and your build is perfect for it 100 thank you for that i really appreciate it actually and i feel a better compliment you can give gavin you been telling him his build is perfect for what what he does you said he's built like a cinder block but i would argue if you took a standard cinder block and threw it off that loading dock it would break yeah you're strong yeah you're stronger than a cinder block my favorite part though is after the fall he just stands up i should not be okay right now i should not be okay right now but i'm fine i'm fine how's how am i fine what the i didn't believe it bro i mean the second i saw my head going for that wall i was like oh it's gonna be a good one and i never even got knocked out you're not even wearing a real helmet you're not even wearing a real helmet you're not even wearing a real helmet ken sets the tone by wearing the widest pants that anybody's ever seen right the boys are immediately just laughing we're just firing already and so we're like we had a set time that we were supposed to to leave and we check mike's location where is he 45 minutes away not true and we were supposed to leave in like like five minutes i was 10 minutes you guys said you were leaving at 9 30 and i got to the shop at 9 28 we were all at the shop ready to go and you were just like hitting the gym downer road yeah well that's when i got to the shop so so we're like well the jet's not gonna leave him but we were like we probably should get there so they know like somebody's at least hopping on this thing right so we go to the airport and i call mike mike and i was like yo mike just meet us at the airport and uh we'll meet you on literally on the runway and so we're standing there and mike comes around the corner in his viper and he pulls up and he parks it right in front of the jet and he hops out throws his bags in it and i was i was standing there just like it brought a tear to my eye like i was just like this has got to be the most baller thing i've ever seen mike do and he's on his way to his bachelor party and just pulled up in his viper bro it was so sick it was easily the most baller thing i have ever done that was awesome the pilots were amazing they liked it oh they loved it yeah they were just like immediately on the same level as we were the craziest thing to me was just walking onto the plane with a crisper full of beers yeah i bet you love that that was pretty awesome wasn't it we hop on there bro and we're still sitting there and they're just like the pilots are in the front the cockpit like you know flicking all the buttons and shit right and gavin looks over and goes i think i could drink five tonys before we take off and then i'm just immediately like absolutely hundred dollars on it let's go and he gets four in right before we take off he's just teary teary-eyed about to throw up like yeah doing the thing where he goes like and i'm like we haven't even taken off yet they're gonna be like we can't now i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i feel like you should take your pants off ryan are you dressed up like cat williams i am i got the height figured out i'm dressed up as uh ted from ted are you a tampon are you blunt man i am good guys can but chronic close enough oh i thought you were a tampon from the jay and silent bob spin-off blunt man and chronic something about your eyes kind of creep me out in that thing we seriously cannot talk about anything serious this is a you're not popping gav oh yeah thanks bro dude if it was based off haters dalton is the most popping off dude dalton how do you handle it man no i love it and i do it on purpose do you there's a reason why i mean why do you think people that you know have hate comments are generally more pop and then the people that are just you know they have happy comments all the time i mean yeah i mean you got a good point but i yeah okay what i'll do is i'll piss people off they'll comment it'll push me to other people right new people that don't have any idea what's going on and then they'll chime in and then further down the road i'll try to win them back by doing what by not being cheeto i don't know okay and then i'll just keep repeating the cycle and i've been doing that for the past like three four months and look at the numbers the numbers don't lie you're killing it so yeah keep it up do you think that he would wrap his truck like that if he wasn't trying to rage bait people hey it works bro i had to come up with something that would have been more polarizing i don't know if it would have been more polarizing i don't know and a baby blue wrap i think you did it you chased after me and wiped out all that stuff's old news you guys have been like best friends for the last whatever six months i understand but yesterday he kicked me off he kicked me in the nuts for no reason with the camera you kept him in the nuts poking my burger locker off camera for no reason it was not off camera we were filming it he bruce lee kicked him karate yeah bruce lee i mean you should know by now that you keep poking the bear the bear's gonna fight back yeah i watch ben poke the bear all the time he doesn't fight back i know but i've explained to you why i didn't kick him in the nuts already why because he pays your bills no i mean it's a valid point but that's not the reason i mean to go back to your question i mean like sturgis for example don't remember all the times i've brought you back from zorbas there's been a lot of stuff that has gone on in the past four months that built up and yesterday you pushed me over the edge and i will not get into the details of it but you did push me over the edge maybe you should consider that every once in a while you push me over the edge like yesterday what that's exactly what i did your winnie poo buried me one too many times that's your own fault you're you're not following the 100 day challenge like the rest of the guys that would never have happened if you got rid of the belly honestly ev i love your belly it's pretty funny i love your belly you definitely are funnier with your belly since we're on the top of a crash can we just watch gavin's crash back here and watch how close he was to landing on the top of his head like he is so good at falling he just like perfectly bends his neck and into a somersault i'm not gonna take any credit away from gavin however i sounds like it i see that crash he had to the same way when i hit the ice a lot of people complimented me on like a clean get off it's like bro when you get sent you're kind of just along for the ride yeah so i just got lucky more so maybe i mean gavin of anybody in the world knows how to eat a fall but he didn't even make it out of the parking lot when he did that at one point he's full-on lawn chair i mean his feet were on the pegs until that ski fully this is what gavin's saying right now oh shit here we go again so then you were stranded at home and you decided well oh there's nothing else to do uh might as well go to the casino yeah so i'm stuck at home and i'm i guess i'm kind of pissed not like pissed just but like pissed i'm just like fucking lamborghini yeah it's well it starts at the casino well that's the thing it's like seven in the morning and it's stuck in between gears i'm revving up freaking straight pipe lambo in my neighborhood oh yeah i've got like a breeze what is going on is he still drunk from last night so i'm like causing a scene and then i've got nikki which maybe isn't the strongest person in the world and i'm can't have her in the car because i don't think anyone would say that your girlfriend nikki is the strongest person well i got her trying to push this car uphill up my driveway oh fuck but i'm scared to put her in the car because what if she panics and drives it through my garage like i don't know so i'm like oh you're gonna have to push so i'm like one foot out the door like a skateboard plus her pushing it rocking it back and forth trying to get it nothing works she has to leave for work now i'm stuck at home with no vehicle i talked to our guy he's like well you can maybe try to disconnect the battery and do some things so i'm spend a couple hours it's hot out nothing works i go sit down on the couch for like four minutes i'm just festering i'm like i'm so i uh take my girlfriend's son's bicycle he's seven he's nine nine he rode a nine-year-old's bike to the casino driving down the road you see he's on a kid's bike pedaling so and then well it is a 20-inch bike if you were to have an arch nemesis in the three-wheeler world would it be him it would probably be him just fueled by all the comments in there just half them saying shred 80 can never do this shred 80 really what that's a good idea i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not they're saying there's a couple why don't you just go to a skate park and show that you can i probably should do you think because you can't dude it'd be tough to show him up actually like he's hitting that shit pretty good i think i can give him a run for his money but he might have me in the skate park i can admit it really yeah so this is the man huh this he doesn't look like a doctor he's not a real doctor oh so that's just but he'll take a look that's just a part of that three-wheeler community some people lie about being a redneck others lie about being a doctor in the garage right now we can start training today let's run it after this this dude looks pretty redneck bro no he's something he's a real redneck you can tell yeah look at his backyard bro you saw my backyard he's got double wide with a garage he's got a trailer you don't even have a trailer do you no i don't you don't have a trailer on your three-wheeler all right hit the skate park this isn't good why because he looked awesome he didn't look pretty good i'll give him that i kind of thought you had three-wheeler hair but his hair blown through the wind really looked 80s to me i gotta grow it out i think yeah flocking what if you found out that marissa oh dang dude started dating this guy that would be he can eat a fall too i look like a grind are you kidding me can you imagine how funny that'd be though is this his only wheeler though you know i think he has a 250r he has the first gen 250r but he oh god that was pretty sick actually dude we gotta stop hyping him up he's good shit though stop hyping him up he's lit he's pretty good dude cj don't tell him that you're good too gav thanks thanks bro you're good too you're more of like an enduro rider you're kind of like the kirkland version of this guy this guy's kind of urban no i'm not dude if anything he's the city boy i'm the redneck oh he's a doctor he's a doctor yard he looked pretty redneck he's hitting this freaking skate he just stalled it out that was pretty good actually he has to have the big board kid on that only reason we did it is because that's where i learned it from it's like i was drinking dude we should get evan into the ufc he'd probably be really fucking good he would dude he's short scrappy have i mentioned that tough he's got no yeah i cannot foresee evan getting knocked out i just could foresee him like literally acting like he's dying because he'd be so out of breath like oh like start taking everything off like somebody in his corner you know when he goes to his corner they have to have him be hitting a vape yeah every other guy's like all trained up and whatever evan walks into the ring with strutting carrying he's got a t he's all he's wearing just ethicas as his as his shorts oh bucked up so i'm like blown out - He's over here at the vape. While they're putting, like, the stuff on your face, you don't get cut. He, like, smacks the hand away. Oh, yeah. Who is that? Who is it? Hello? Yeah, what's up, Doc? What the fuck? What the fuck? It's our buddy from Winnebago. Oh! What up? What? What the frick? Is this a bad time to show up? No, you're just fine. Just drop in. Holy hell, that's hilarious. How's it going? Did they not tell you we were coming? No. No, I knew. I knew. No, Spenny told me. Spenny knows. I didn't know on the hour when you'd be here. I could feel it. I could feel it. This is what we were saying earlier in the podcast. People just drop in. I love it. What's up? What's up, Big Doc? Hey, I got the same hat. It's just another day. What up, dude? How's it going, brother? How are you doing? Yeah, come on in. All right, we got the whole crew coming through. Let's go. Love it. Take the walkthrough. How's it going? Come on in. What's up, man? Come on through. Come on through. Hey, thanks for coming. Hey, how's it going? Take a seat. Get comfortable. Yeah, take a seat. The good news about Utah Jail is they only soak there. Oh, that's nice. This video I took is actually like seconds before it happened. Basically, we're all hiding behind, I believe, a term for it would be my credenza. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know. Some part of my house. The bridge behind the credenza. Oh, my God, dude. Look at just this. Oh, my God. What's the start of this? Benny just caked in Parmesan. And so this is what's happening seconds prior to it. You love how I'm barefoot. I am barefoot. What are you doing, Gab? How are you barefoot? I know. Oh, so bad. And then I go, holy shit, that kid looks like Dalton. And he turns around. It was Dalton. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot Dalton got a perm, bro. He looks like fucking Napoleon Dynamite. Don't forget about the spray tan. Why do you think he looks like Dalton? Did he get a spray tan? Yes, he did. He said he did self-tanner, but I don't know. For his TikTok? Yeah. He got a spray tan for his TikTok. Yes. Man, he's really, he's investing in his content, dude. He said he was looking a little too pasty. Remember that time he took a shit wall of barefooting? I was going to say, that was wild. Did we ever show that? No, we didn't. That was insane. I was thinking about bringing that up. I don't know if I want that in there. That was crazy. Well, because the day before, me and Banyan had the Carolina Reapers. Oh, no. No. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's not good. So then the next day, we're on the boat, and we're barefooting, and I'm like, man, I kind of got to go. My stomach's going. And I was like, I just thought it was the best idea. So at first, the boys just thought I was mooning them. And there's, we, I don't know if you guys, I might have a clip somewhere. And it's just like, we have it too. Well, there's HD footage of it. It's just like a mist. In Arizona, they have like cop cars that will be sitting on the side of the road, and they have cameras, and they'll like flash and take a picture of you for speeding, right? And then they send you a ticket in the mail, but it's been deemed like it's, it's an unlawful way to give you a ticket, so you don't have to pay it. Like, if you go into the police station, it happened to Blake, the guy in the police station literally laughed and said, no one pays these. But most people pay them by mail, so they still take your money, but they're like literally not legally binding. So good to know if you're in Arizona, don't take my legal advice, because I have no idea. One guy told me a story. Is that real? Yeah, but that's what they said. Can you get a fact check on that? I'm pretty sure I remember seeing something about that too. There we go. It's fact checked. Oh, that's great. Well, we have Evan's mom. Thank you. Welcome. This is your first time up here ever, isn't it? Well, yes, to this place, yes. And Evan's been here for four years. He always, he always mentioned, he was always like, yeah, my mom really wants to come up, but I think he doesn't want you to see his room. Well, I was just going to say, did you clean his room? I'm kind of afraid to see it. No, I chucked some packages in there. It's decent. It's been worse. It's been worse. It's been worse. Okay. It's medium right now. Yeah. Probably smells fine, I'm assuming. I won't judge. Well, I mean, it's probably been this way his whole life, I'd imagine, hasn't it? Are you kidding me? Well, oh, no, but I was really fussy growing up, and now I feel like this is part of your rebellion, but that's okay. He's rebelling at age 30. I'm not cleaning my room. No, you can't come over. Are you sure Gavin hasn't been hanging out with your girlfriend? Oh. Yeah, where do you think he's learning this three-wheeler stuff? That's why Aiden wants to impress you. What's up with your background, Ev? Nicky Joe has a thing for the 250Rs. Oh, yeah. I thought you. My phone background is my girlfriend in a bikini sitting on Gavin's giveaway 250R. Yep. She's a three-wheeler girl. But don't you also have a picture of your sister in a bikini on a 250R? You got to chill, bro. That's not my picture. Let's pop that up. It's not your picture. Show me more. There is one? 10. That's my background. Do you remember when we were in Florida and we punked Gavin by setting his background, his sister, on the three-wheeler? Why was she on a three-wheeler in a bikini? Girls love three-wheelers. I don't know. But then I. Let alone a picture of it. But then. Who took the picture? Not me. Are you sure it wasn't you? It was not me. It was her friends. But you got the picture. I don't have it. Well, no. So it actually was off her Instagram, but I set it as my background, but we made it look like it was Gavin. So we're Raz-ing it. Then I switched it to my girlfriend on the three-wheeler, but Gavin got mad at me like one more time because he thought it was still. They look a little semi-similar. Blonde, girls, bikini, three-wheeler, you know, at a quick glance. Yeah. He was confused. So then I just switched it mainly just to Raz-Gavin because he kept thinking it was a picture of his sister on my background. Man. Yup. We really probably got to stop making these jokes about Gavin and his sister. You guys got to stop with all the. Yeah, we got to chill on it. We got to chill on it. Like, actually, we got to. Just stop. 50% of the Gavin jokes, man. Give me a break. Dude, I want. They're either about my sister or something else that I don't like talking about. So what'd they end up finding in the surgery? So in the surgery, they got in there and basically they told Ken and Talita that they were going to be like, yeah, we get in there, one or two tendons, repair them, and we'll be out 15, 20 minutes. So I'm like, all right, no problem. I head down to the surgery room. I was down there for three hours. Ken and Talita were stressing out a bit. Stressing, dude. Texting me, trying to see if I could do it. Trying to see where I'm at. And. Because, yeah, it was supposed to be 15 minutes. Yeah, the doctor was like, yeah, 10 or 15, 20, maybe 30 minutes at the most. And three hours later, I come out and had eight tendons fully sliced and then one nerve and in the nerves, the back, kind of the bad one, because so I'd had no feeling in my. I have no feeling in my thumb, my pointer finger, or my middle finger. I can wiggle them, but I just don't have feeling. And then actually nicked the artery, which is the main artery that you can die. So I just barely, barely nicked it just enough to. On the hair of a nut sack. Yeah, literally, just barely just sliced it. And that's why it was bleeding so much, but not enough to be like super, super. A main concern. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Last thing Ben sent me, study shows at least one guy in the friend group is actually gay. I don't know what study, but. Yeah, you and Ben would love that, wouldn't you? Hey, I mean, I'd be just happy. I mean, yeah, I'd just say, I think you guys would love it. There's a chance it could be you, so be careful. You guys clearly talk about it. Oh, shit. I didn't think about that. Maybe I need to start really thinking about it. Like, maybe I am gay. The shoreline impact zone. Know what? It's not being called that. That's what all the locals are calling it. No, no, it's not. We went over this. That's not the name that's been chosen. There's still some names. Who gets to choose the name? Well, me. It's my property, so. I feel like. But the thing is, is like. It's a nickname. So, like, nicknames don't really get to be chosen. Like, you just kind of dealt a nickname, and whatever sticks, sticks. Yeah. Yeah, and right now, the shoreline impact zone is pretty low on the list for nicknames. That's all I've heard it called. It's pretty stuck around here. No. We had it on camera yesterday. There's been a few other names. Dude, they referred to your place as Ken's P-Palace. Do you want us to call it that? I don't even know if I can say that in public. I don't even know if I can say it on a podcast. Yeah, we're going to bleep that. It's just supposed to be Ken's Boathouse. That's all it is. We're doing better, man. We're starting to figure it out. CJ's advice has really been helping me out in a lot of ways. Oh, really? Have you actually been doing my advice with the pelvis? When have you been putting that advice to work? 100%, dude. Thank you, bro. You haven't even talked to a woman since you got that advice. Between Texas and Vegas, I was home for two nights. One of the nights, I got lucky. And it actually lasted a while. It worked. Did she like it better? No, she loved it. It was a great night. This is what I was saying. There was actually a lot of people actually said thank you to me. Thank you for giving that advice. And then there was a few people that were like, CJ's a fucking idiot. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. No, you know what you're talking about, man. Yeah, so I'm glad that I could help. Dude, if one more person tells CJ this, he's probably going to write a book about it. Bro, I should. I think so. The pelvis method by CJ Lautzer. That's what we call it, the pelvis method. Like an Instagram crew. Or like kind of leaning over a table. What hand do you drink with when you pick up a drink? Both hands. Double fisting it normally. That's why. You just make it look so effortless. You make it look like it's something very hard. And it's like, man, maybe I could do that. It just goes perfectly every time. It's just so smooth. Where do you begin to ride like this? Like when did you start riding? Can you kind of run us through, I guess? Probably like my backyard. So when I was five, I broke my femur riding a PW50. So I didn't grow up racing like all the other kids that were racing dirt bikes and stuff. So my sister bought a 110. So I would just ride her. one 10, like every day in the backyard, trying to do wheelies up the Hills and just. i had a lot of friends that skateboard and snowboard and ride bmx so my friends were so good at skating doing like kickflip backtails and stuff so i'm in my backyard on my 110 trying to do like a little whip land wheelie and like that's how i like express myself riding a dirt bike is from a lot of like snowboard and skateboard inspiration and yeah that's what it looks out in the backyard you guys see jake's video where he definitely kind of blamed me for the truck i was gonna i was actually gonna ask you about that ryan so are you paying him or what's the scoop well what did he say give me and the viewers i gotta watch it sorry i basically the whole video is just i think it's even titled ryan's fault really yeah and then he goes on in that video talking about how he's blown up like eight different trucks but then somehow the one truck that i borrowed of his now it's my fault like are all the other trucks so did you get an invoice or no uh he has not invoiced me yet did you get it did he send it to you i don't know why just i didn't know if he was sending it to the company or me personally i mean you were the one driving it i'd imagine you would get the invoice well i just kind of figured i was towing all your guys's stuff right you know like i wasn't i you know i wasn't driving the mini truck i didn't tell you to hot rod that thing well that's still up for debate seems like you were just misdriving it ryan i don't think it's possible yeah i don't know man it's like there was peace and corn around obviously me you know the crew and jake went through what we went through and then you know for the last couple years it's been pretty chill and like ryan totally just fired it back up and now it's just bad again there's this giant cloud yeah which is sixteen thousand dollar bill in it yeah it's just like right just pay it so we can just be boys again that's just between jake and ryan i think everyone else we're all good i thought we're moving this dresser and i was like i'll give it to spenny spenny's living at the farm now and the drawer falls out of the dresser and i see what looks like crumpled up women's underwear and i've never seen it in my life i promise i've never seen in my life so i put the drawer back in didn't say anything you want to look at it didn't even want to look at it i'm like what the what is that whatever i'll deal with it when i get to the shop so i take this dresser down and uh i pull pair of underwear from behind this drawer like huge granny panties like huge huge haynes women's underwear and they're poop stained i don't know about poop stain but just blowed out okay entire front of the crotch to the back where are you going out it's like saying the story i don't know okay so then i grab another pair same huge underwear blowed out then i grab another pair huge underwear same brand haynes blowed out all stuck in the back yes did you buy this thing like used or where'd you find this i i can't remember where i got it but i did not get it new so they could have been in there from the start back in the day we've had lots of parties there people have stayed in that room yeah you know we we have lake days people go in there and change so one pair of underwear blowed out you're like dang someone must have had a bad day but then i go for the fourth pair huge underwear blowed out shit stained everything yeah like shit and everything else that could come out of you so i only took one picture because they were so disgusting but are you sure they're men oh my god oh my goodness cj am i sure they're men no i'm sure they're women you just gotta get your numbers up yeah just get the numbers up i want you fucking three times a day three times a day we're going to texas i should be able to make those numbers happen out there i'll tell you that right now you think so easy pretty easy yeah i mean not pretty easy but there's my type of woman out there i'll tell you guys that right now you're gonna need like a like a secretary or someone who's like like setting these up at like okay right at this time gav needs to be here and here and then he's gonna be riding his three-wheeler in between this you know just because otherwise the schedule is gonna be just it's asking a lot from you ken's already working on that with me we got a couple chicks scheduled out here in the future but we got ken we'll get you how many how many crickets are you looking for down there some mud crickets what do you guys know about the mud crickets nothing none you want me to tell you about them yes i don't know why you're asking us oh my gosh any guy with a lifted truck and cut off sleeves they are drooling over really yeah so we're going to i can i would imagine you got to be a hot commodity down there we're gonna find out i've never been well we're gonna find out too i'm expecting a lot from you you talk big talking real big you are yeah i mean they might be fat but i'm good with that as you guys know there's some yeah i'm good with that i'm good with that i'm good with that i'm good with that that means that can be acquired and you're right that might help with me prolonging the situation so yeah it doesn't really fix your problem though i hope it does but because when you go with the bigger women i don't want to go into graphic detail but we're already so graphic this is where he draws the line what happens gap nothing good nothing good we're not gonna talk about them this is the most paris thing i've ever seen like you're thriving for one and then for two obviously you were you were just joking around being funny it was hilarious it was like it was like you were getting set up for do one of your promos again like i was contemplating doing a promo before we left that hotel and i was like uh nothing nothing's locked in no reason to film it if we don't have a contract yeah but you were dude this guy's so committed to the promo game now he's willing to just like risk a little bit of time in case how he needs it down the road negotiated for more money just for the hat and the actual eiffel tower being in the background i mean this is insane here we go this is this is the best video i've seen and action we we madams and messieurs david and i are in paris and we are going to the vikings game we are going to kill them the browns but we will prevail and cut and we did we did ken it is just you are just a natural man and it makes me think how do we have two guys sitting on this couch one guy who was hated for his promos and the other guy who is just like they're just begging for more both of you extremely good at them but they're just like please please ken just give us more advertisements like if ken was the only guy doing commercials people wouldn't watch tv for the programs they'd just watch for the commercials cj you're having like some meeting this morning or whatever right yeah could you hear what was going on in there i heard you showering i didn't they might have heard it because they were wondering what was going on i turned the shower on i massively plugged i massively plugged the toilet i actually couldn't get it to unplug you were just going to war with the toilet yeah but it's very violent you know gloshing and when you're running the plunger i think they were almost wondering like what's he doing in there well we heard him they're like it got weird because i was in there before and then i heard there's people out there but i used the toilet and then i did take a shower and then i had laundry that was in the dryer so i like folded all my laundry it just felt weird for me to at any point walk out of the bathroom into what i felt was an important meeting yeah they were investors looking to give us a bunch of capital well and they pulled all their money back we needed to upgrade the toilet with that what's the first thing you guys are gonna do with the capital system needs a backup there seems to be this trend going around saying that evan has fallen off although i disagree that you have not fallen off but there's this trend going around saying that you have just because you didn't hit that one jump and then of course when i just feel it out not even attempting to hit it i ride over the jump that gets plastered in there and then just spread oh evan fell off look at him i was like damn this is probably going to like come through on camera that he just can't ride a dirt bike anymore and then i mean it got chopped up that way intentionally though like well yeah it was it was more of just like i drive it was like the gap jump it was like a and then it's like hit the gap jump yeah it was it was more of just a joke of just like evan isn't on a bike and then they just took it and ran with it and i think it was more of kids seeing that they could get some views off of views and likes yeah just saying that and then it just kind of spread like wildfire and i've noticed it with like other things too it's it's when we finally like say we'll like crack a joke and then everyone else thinks that they're like i can crack that joke now too yeah so i think that it did just get like blown out of proportion and i think that there's one person that is really like leading the charge of like loving it loving every second of it and that's dalton evans arch i did find out after these were coming up that dalton posted a video like on tiktok like months ago where he chops it where i'm on the stark for like 30 seconds and tip over and then he edits it and he's like whatever you guys know what i'm talking about i don't actually i've seen it yeah he's making himself look like wheelies around the garage a whole bunch it's like oh yeah i did yeah it did get out of hand chasing so hard he's grabbing onto anything you can i think that one the loyalty of the cheeto army is pretty fluid of where its loyalty lies but two it's like everybody loves a good comeback story and this is your opportunity to just capitalize on that and then the cheeto army is going to be like we knew he was still able to ride a dirt bike yeah kind of coming at you here and i don't mean to do this just more curious than anything do it what what was the uh the thought process behind putting your ex-girlfriend well we're still on good terms you know it was a blank space down there man i wanted to keep it a clean thumbnail to add something to it you know give it a little bit more flavor and that's what I came up with. Smart. I got a feeling you guys were going to come up with something. come at me for it and you changed it and it didn't work so it's okay hey i i defended you right away gav i said it was a business move no we knew the thought process behind it it was a smart play i thought you know you've done a lot of legendary things you've got a lot of legendary clips but one of the funniest ones is your dad yeah that like oversees all everything i've done so good your dad can we watch that can you pop that up we've watched it on the podcast i think i think twice at this point it's so funny i i it's timeless yeah we got whenever whenever i need a good laugh like i go back and run it back because it's just like i think this is even the second time i posted i have posted a little bit more this time it's worth the repost people can't stay in this video this is so funny hey justin you MUA shut it off and everyone's like why did you stick your hand in the tire i'm like dude i'm thinking so fast and that hill is so much steeper than it looks on there but bikes like upside down i guess i didn't really look at the brake lever right there but my dad was pinned in the thorn and then i was trying to get in there get the bike and then i was getting stabbed by the thorn bushes too and then justin comes over and he's just the strongest dude ever he lift that thing up and god , my dad out of there he's in the thorn bushes it's not even his glasses oh dude hey still got the stogie yeah he didn't drop drop the stogie but that's a steep hill and he was behind me and i fully dusted him he couldn't see sorry dad i'm amazed you guys have all stayed off of drugs a little round of applause for ben thank you guys thank you guys big weekend finally proposed to his girlfriend his long-time girlfriend of nine years emphasis on finally and it really was insane what'd she say ben she said yes boys yeah if she didn't dude that would have been more surprising i would say i was assuming that she was going to say yes but it definitely did not make the whole experience less stressful well if anything you there was more riding on it i wasn't concerned about her answer i just was concerned about everything else going right there were so many moving factors and i was concerned about everything else going right there were so many moving factors and she told me a while back she was like there is zero percent chance that you will be able to surprise me zero really she was like i know you so well that there is no chance that you can surprise me and i was like okay bet like those are fighting words right yeah especially especially for me like that i live my life for surprises yeah but of course like things just you know happen grata's the last one to get ready her dad's running around the house being like all right people let's go we got dinner plans and i'm like he's looking at you yeah yeah exactly you know greta's like i just don't know what to wear and i'm like oh my god she like goes up to her mom's bedroom and she's like looking through her clothes and like doing her hair and uh her mom like walks in and she's you know starting to get antsy too and greta's like trying to do this new like blow dryer hair thing oh man and cindy's like what are you doing today is not the day to be trying new things with your hair oh no so cindy's like fixing her hair for her finally she's like getting ready and i'm like hey uh can you before we go can you come and take a snapchat for me and she's like okay she's sick of being my personal snapchatter at this point and i like just texted dalton like all right we're on our way up yeah and i was like i didn't want to give her my phone because i didn't want dalton to be like all right i'm ready for you or something like that yeah you know yeah i've started playing all these things out and then she's like doubles down like come on give me your phone and dalton's got photos of like her going give me your phone and then her going all right come on give me your phone and then like i had a bunch of things planned to say right so this big moment yeah blackout blackout no dude one i didn't even get to the right spot that don't wanted me so like he was taking a video i don't i'm like barely half in the frame you know she's pressing me for my phone and i was just like it dropped down on a knee really she's looking at you or she's looking away she's looking at me at this point and you just and i was like i was gonna say a bunch of stuff before i dropped down and i was just kind of getting pressed so i was like getting nervous oh man blacked out dropped down on a knee it was just like grotto will you marry me right to it just right to it right to it just right to it and then like she has so i don't want to say like little trust in me but she has so little trust in me she thought that i was playing a prank we stand up you know we're hugging and kissing and she did say yes she we figured out she said yes she's got the ring on and she we're like oh my god she's or she's like oh my god and i'm just like it's just like the biggest relief of like wow this just happened right still out of body she goes does does anyone know because she was like this like it was so random and like she was so surprised no inkling at all she was like does anyone know and i was like well your parents know inside and i was like oh and dalton knows and i point over i point over into the trees and then oh that that was her reaction to seeing dalton which is like the greatest like carousel of pictures i think i've ever seen in my life right so this is me saying how happy you are this is me saying dalton knows and then she's looking and then she's like what and then she sees him oh and then she's freaking out and then it gets even more where this she's like oh my god oh my god and then it was just like oh my god this is act this has just happened yeah you had a run-in with the dlpd recently uh i didn't want to i was hoping that wouldn't come up so a few weeks ago i i had uh i over served myself and i was gonna go stay at a friend's house in dl myself they live in a condo and you know there's one unit on top of another one and i went to the ground floor unit and they live in the upstairs unit so i was knocking on the door trying to get in what time was this 2 a.m late oh and did you did you get in no the cop like they called the cops well eventually they knew like oh oh he's outside because i tried calling him and then uh came outside but you know when i got upstairs then the cops rolled up and then what people inside called the cops yeah because they thought i was trying to break in you're scared would a large bearded man was banging on my door i'd call the people yeah yeah everyone had a laugh it was it was totally fine once once they figured out laughing in handcuffs no there's no handcuffs involved so the cops found you upstairs yeah yeah i was on the deck oh until he got upstairs and the door was closed no handcuffs were involved it would have been really funny if the cop was like yeah it was weird he asked me if he could if i could handcuff him you might tossing those on or would you would you mind just tossing on those handcuffs for a second maybe tell me i've been a real bad boy i mean i gotta say at my wedding there will definitely be an open bar speaking of let's go yep i'm engaged guys i got engaged on uh about five days ago so five days of engagement how is it different you know i was a big advocate that it wouldn't be different because alex and i had been dating for six years but i will say it actually is different now it does change things it does change things it does feel different really i was a big advocate that it wouldn't feel different i was like i mean nothing's changing we still live together we still all these things but it does it does feel different you look at things differently now that you're like you do but you i'd say i just feel like a little bit more connected ken has some weird infatuation with uh our girlfriends or like his friends we could say this and we know he's not gonna listen he's not gonna he's got no idea i don't want to say that you think he has an infatuation with him i wouldn't say that oh yeah that's maybe i think he feels uh comfortable around them so like he's talking to him more than he would talk to any other female because he knows that he knows them where like i'm gonna go out on a limb just because i know ken pretty well and assume he wasn't rubbing up on jake's girlfriend's ass because he was trying to like smash or like do something like that no no like he wouldn't do that but he just feels like comfortable around them when like he wouldn't necessarily do that too so sometimes you pull your pants down so what you know i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding you know what is funny though uh just just the other day you know i still live with ken i go walking downstairs and alex is i think she's vacuuming and ken's there in his underwear just doing something in the in the living room and like they're not you know completely different side you know ken's got some balls on like so it's just like some major package hanging down and like i don't care i'm not worried about it one bit but uh but like it is i did think to myself it's like man most people would be like what the fuck's going on i didn't think nothing like i just was like i kind of chuckled to myself of anything this has been apparently a long time coming last time you were here gavin you left early due to how pissed you were he kept bickering back and forth which is respectable i mean you would have just came up to me and be like hey like dude i should have just came up to you and just given you one just right in the stomach or something punch me i heard that you were so pissed that after like hours after when you were walking past dalton's office to go to your room you were like you dalton no that's what you were saying definitely not what was he doing - Dude, you were, I fucking hate you. i've ever been that pissed yeah so you were pissed bro just come clean you were i was actually oh yeah you were fuming yes i was fuming dude yeah normally so why were you so mad because it's been a build-up of things for the past year i've known him honestly but it's always been the same relationship every time this time he just finally took it a tad bit too far so what was it because he was on a dirt bike naked chasing you no that part was fine like i enjoyed that part i thought it was so ridiculous and dalton gets in front of me and i see evan recording on top the hill and he's all revving it up like he's gonna you know clutch dump it and just roost me i was like ah there's just don't do it because he'd already pissed me off he knew i was already mad but we're chilling and he's still naked not okay and so he's looking up at evan i go dalton if you do it i'm actually gonna lose it and he's red bombing it for about 15 seconds and i go dalton like actually don't do it like i try to tell him like this is it right here like if you do i really didn't think he was gonna do it that's what pissed me off so bad is the fact that he still did it and he looked up at evan smirked and just let it go just let it rip evan loved it yeah of course of course he loved it but yeah just roosted the shit out of me and after that i lost my cool and i can really keep my cool like i i know how to stay calm for the most part like definitely can stay calm but that one was just a turning point i was looking at the end and started roosting you and you just didn't even care that i didn't even know i can't i don't even remember you freaking he was just locked on to dalton how did you feel when those two guys finally got you cornered up against the limo i knew it was game over i hated that dude just two naked boys freaking getting me yeah you didn't you didn't really think you were gonna be able to outrun me and dalton did you i thought there was maybe a chance i was on the 450 and i just got up getting cornered why is the limo back there right now gotta put it somewhere gotta put it somewhere so okay ken people absolutely loved your brand deal in the last video i and i think that you're now the designated brand i cut it up one way and then i saw it got recut a different way quick break in the video to bring a word for quick break quick break in the video to bring a word from today's sponsor better help i recently turned 30 and it really made me stop and think ken hasn't seen this i i saw it i saw it out but the truth is life doesn't always line up with the timeline that you imagined crossed in in my 30s brought some real tough self-reflection i realized that i was measuring myself against old expectations and honestly it left me feeling a little stuck and really overwhelmed i used to put off therapy because i thought it would be complicated or maybe even intimidating but i realized that having someone else to talk to someone who can listen and help you look at things differently really opened up on the side you wrote it from the heart that came from the heart that's why i'm glad today's video is sponsored by better help better help is easier to start therapy you just fill out a short questionnaire you can get matched with the therapist in as little as a couple days and if your therapist isn't the right fit you can switch therapists anytime at no extra cost i did actually use the chat to uh 4.3 rating write that whole script better help is a platform you can trust so if you've been thinking about starting therapy click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com slash seaboys tv to get so good you did a great job this thing's gonna win an emmy yeah i know i know dude ken showed me last night me and don and it was literally with this it's the best ad i've seen i think it's insanely good it's so good the way it's the type of thing we walk into the shop at nine o'clock at night and ken's just standing there with the the camera on a tripod he's got chat gpt bro he was grinding and then he goes up to justin's office and he puts it in this he paid five bucks for to auto cut it for him and he said and then you took that cut and then you just threw it in the trash and started over what's it like when you're riding in the middle of the pack down the streets of baltimore and everyone is wheeling and you're on a on an interstate highway so i've never rode in baltimore and i've also i wouldn't say i've allegedly allegedly yeah riding with a bunch of guys being in the pack it's like one of my like safe places if that makes any sense which is very ironic but it's just like everyone's around and you hear all the different bikes and it's like you look over here and like there's someone doing over here there's a guy out of harley doing a burnout it's just like i don't know man it's so madness it's so cool because when you're with a level of riders where like everyone kind of has an idea of what they're doing it's like my favorite thing to do is like start in the back of the pack you know with everyone not really wheeling pop it up and then just kind of make my way up through the front and it's just like you kind of see someone like this guy's doing that okay he i could see what his body language like especially some of my friends like brian 636 or seabear when we were riding i could tell by their like body position oh he's about to like come back and scrape or he's about to do this or that so it's cool to like kind of read everything and get through there and it's just it's so much fun please never send another video in our men group chat of your outfit of the day again i do not give a fuck what you're wearing i don't care that you just got some new pants and that you really like them this guy's passionate too i didn't i didn't want to come in with some fire not even if we just did a podcast where everybody is my fucking mic working or is this my headphone no it's not right and you sound like shit like was i the only guy who opened that thing who opened that thing was like yeah that was a little gay it made you uncomfortable i think even justin was yeah ken didn't even finish it he couldn't even finish it once i heard ryan say oh i picked up some camel pants click click click click i think you even did one of those you did one of those where you put your foot up and like kind of like showed it like like you're doing a tiktok swirl oh it's gone now i i didn't even want to have it saved on my phone where was it it was a snatch primals bromeo is one of the one of the oh mike might still have it i still have it i can hear it in my headphones if that accounts for anything i don't hear anything in mine holy shit this is gonna be a hot subject all i gotta say if you're gonna send us something cool it better not be some fucking pants from aeropostale noted i just thought of ken having to hover that's all just that sorry it'd be it'd be like a freaking like doing a plank you'd have the biggest thighs in cormorant that is a workout an eight minute squat ken's in there for hours still 90 ken installs like a bar before he goes in he puts on like those hand wraps your grip chalks up where were you going with that right yeah ken's like come on let's keep this moving yeah we need to install one at the merch barn too for you it's just a harness system like one of those sex swings it's a harness stuff like he's going ziplining it's funny holy that would be something that'd be possible where where are we going with this ryan you walk in you walk into like prank i mean it's like all tangled up it's on a winch system he gets it he gets it up all the way the winch battery dies he's stuck he calls darius in merchandise man warehouse manager he comes in gets him down there's a manual release do you want me to pull it i think it'll drop you all the way though let's keep moving let's keep moving let's keep this train going uh ryan where were you going with that another funny thing that was at our high school too is we had like a designated smoking pit really outside the high school shut up dude i had shut up no lie there was a straight up smoking pit and there was this a couple kids i was in a i was in like the low english class because i sucked in english because you only knew canadian at the time there's a couple kids who were like kind of like gnarlier dudes and uh this one kid would like we would be doing like a test or something and he would he was just like such a loose cannon and you would stand up and he'd be like mr ma i i'm going for a smoke and he would just stand up and he would walk out he wasn't even of legal age that blows my it was illegal to buy them but it wasn't illegal to smoke them it's like having window tint yeah except for the opposite what age can you use tobacco 18 oh really in canada 18 so they would just some of the kids i mean like every high school had like smoking pits and you like knew that that's a smoking pit it was just describe this to me it was so like there's the parking lot and then the school's right here and there's like a batch of trees so it was a designated spot established by the school for smoking or was it just a spot that's where the kids like that's where you go smokers went oh okay the principal and the school cop would go cruise by it at like lunchtime because they knew like the kids were out there smoking and what tell them to make their presence they wouldn't tell them to stop but they would just be like making sure they weren't like smoking weed or like doing drugs just cigarettes like obviously like that's where you would go to deal the drugs like you'd meet in the smoking pit or like if there was ever a they'd be like meet in the smoking pit and you'd go to the smoking pit and that's where you'd probably like as big as just like this room oh wow that's a pretty big pit And is it actually in the ground? No, it was literally just like where there was like a drain or something. Like a little cup of tea. So you guys were just standing in water? No, there was just a water drain. Just found a low line. We found a wetland. Just a little low, a little low. It had a drain. There's no water. There's no water. So you guys would just stand around a drain. I didn't go into the smoking pit. I was just. You sure know a lot about it, Spenny. I knew where it was. I bet you were dealing monsters to him. Spenny's taking a troll by the smoking pit. When you're at the smoking pit, you're like, I'm not doing the deal out there. I was Dave's shop bitch. Like, that was my, that was on my check. Like, in the memo line. Like, what am I getting paid for every week? Shop bitch. You were a good shop bitch. Yeah. I guess I refer to it as a shoreline impact zone because, you know, it's obviously a boathouse on the shoreline. And there's some impact going on. I thought this was way more about clapping booties. It's like NFL's greatest. Hits montage every night with Ken and some single moms in there. Maybe not single. That, too. It just depends, you know. I heard the beach was actually pushing back because they thought there was an earthquake. All the rest of the houses around Ken's started falling into the lake. It's like Ken's house is slab on grade. He couldn't. There wasn't a stick built structure that could take him. It's 10 inches of concrete. Yeah, it's like an airport runway underneath there. I'm not quite as bad as Gavin, but we're there. I did see a lot of guys that posted Instagram stories of the deer they shot. And some of them straight up looked like first year baby deer. I was like, I can't believe you one had the balls to shoot this thing and to fucking post it. To get down on your hands and knees down here and hold up this little baby deer head. What the fuck, dude? Like, impossible. Dude, I don't know. Just some corn mountains. Were there comments? Were there comments like, bro? I don't know. Ryan's like, dude, I hit that on the way to the gym in the morning. How'd you guys end up placing for that? I don't even know what we placed, but Dalton did win women's longest putt. What? Yeah, did you put him down on that? Who wrote him down for that? That was funny. That was an honest accident. What? I didn't. We must have missed that. They announced it. Dalton Songstead. And they have it on the website. Shut up. Women's longest putt for the tournament. Oh, my God. Yeah. Now, that's pricey. That's funny. Dude, I didn't know it was an accident because when I heard it, I was like, what? That's hilarious. Evan must have just done that and, like, didn't tell any of us to, like, walk away. I think it was actually Grandpa Ron was the one that was like, oh, we got a proxy. Let's measure it. Maybe Dalton actually did make it, but then Grandpa just didn't read the sign and wrote him down. Dalton definitely made a big putt, and I remember them filling out the proxy. Yeah, you did, too. Mine wasn't the women's. So, did he get an award? Please don't tell me that they gave him money. No. No money. What you did was mean on the cleaning lady. In my defense, I didn't notice it when I flushed the toilet. In my defense, that's what a toilet's for. When I flushed it, I did not notice it looked like that when I came back. When you caught hang time off the seat, you should have thought to look at what had just happened. We'll call you Rocket Man, buddy. Bro, we got to fucking give our cleaning lady. Oh, sorry. Let me rephrase that. You need to give our cleaning lady a Christmas present. Okay, that bathroom has been way worse before. No, it is not. No, it is not. That was one of the least bad times. That was not that bad. You're fucking delusional. Wait, so I don't know if Ken still has seen it. You're delusional. What did it look like? What I saw on Monday when I came back here was not. It looked like the Fourth of July happened in the toilet. There was a couple little brown spots. There were brown specks when I saw it. No. Little. No. It looked like you took a handful of mud and threw it at a wall. It looked like that video when we took the one dirt bike out and everybody was covered in mud. That was the inside of the toilet bowl. Dude, it was the most atrocious thing I've ever seen. And the way it adhered itself to the porcelain, no amount of flushes would knock it off. No. It was so bad. Glad you think it's funny because it's not cool. It wasn't that bad when I left it. Somebody else blew that thing out after that video. Oh, really? Yes. Who here even has the technology to do that? The capability. It wasn't. Okay. When I left on Tuesday. Was that Monday or Tuesday? I did that. It had a full week to adhere before she had to go in there with a chisel and safety glasses. I was gone for almost a full week until I come back and you're like, oh my God, that toilet got blown out. It was blown out the whole time. I sent her a snap in the group chat. You guys saw the snap in the group chat and I sent a snap of the toilet and I said, in all caps, Ken fucking Matthews, you assaulted this toilet. I must have all caps. I must have clicked through that snap. Oh God. Oh, are you proud of yourself? It looks like a crime scene. Look at how clean the water is. That shows how hard on there that stuff is. Yeah. That's my bad boys. High velocity. You see why we had a problem with it now. Yes. That's my bad. Ken, I think you need to just take a little bit more accountability for your blowouts. Maybe occasionally you could just take the edge off. You don't got to fine tune it, but maybe you go shoot. Maybe I'll just knock the edge off it. I mean, it's insane. Ken, it's like this is a criminal act. I didn't even notice. I just flushed that shit and walked away. What does your toilet look like at home? Have you ever done that? Have you ever peered inside? Ken, what do we got to do for you to change your legal name to Ken? That sounds like a disaster. I don't think it's that disastrous. It's probably easier than setting up like an LLC. And it's probably easier to do now before you continue to acquire more things like a Lincoln. Like then you'd have to change the title and stuff. So you might as well just do that now. We should surprise Ken by changing his name legally for him. That would be awesome if we could do that. No, no, I'm not going to legally do that. There's enough stuff out there already that I'd have to switch. And it just doesn't sound fun. What if we change your middle name? Same exact same thing. What are you thinking? I was thinking like fucking in the middle. Ken fucking Matthews. Then if you're in that Lincoln continental, you know, the JFK. Now you got KFM. Ken's other friends are trying to change his name now, actually, from Ken. What are they trying to hijack? Ken's Ken's nickname to what? Greg. Greg. I don't know where that came from. I love it. They just are like, well, where is like, what the hell is going on? My new nickname wasn't good enough. So now I have a new one. Don't know those real Louis Vuitton shoes. Where'd you get those? Pull them on up. Like you. Did you just purchase them online or up in here? I've been flash these fucking shoes, man. This dude gets a Rolex one week. Louis Vuitton shoes. The next kid's balling, man. You can hop in where I'm sitting. I don't really want to sit by him. You don't like him? Evan and Dalton do. They do get along now. Like the beef is squash, but they still bicker back and forth. Like I walked in the lunch today and I hear Dalton kind of like toiling about something. And then Evan giving him a dead like, well, maybe if you didn't do such Cheeto things, you wouldn't have that problem. Like it's so genuine. God damn, Dalton. It's got to be pretty nerve wracking wearing these things around the shop. Yeah, for real. I would be nervous. Why don't you just scrub the floor? You know our shoes get toast around here. Let me see those things. Take them off. Yeah. Take them off. Steal his shoes, Ben. Oh. Sturdy. I'll give him that. Where do you even buy something like this online? How much were they? A thousand bucks? He just laughs. I was going to guess more than you could afford. A hundred. Thirteen. Thirteen. I will give you. Don't do that, Ben. You just fucking stepped into it. Rubbing them on your other shoe. Oh my God, dude. Oh, bro. Bro. Yikes. Ben, you were like the biggest sneaker head for the longest time. And the fact that you just did that invalidates everything I thought. They look good on you, though. You like? If you could do a bachelor party right now, what would you do? Or Cabo. Nice. Classic. Love it. I love that idea. Sounds great. Yeah, that sounds good. We should probably, like, do one of those fake YouTuber weddings. You know, in like Jake Paul, man. Married Tana Mongeau or whatever her name is. Ben, getting fake married for YouTube would be top tier. Who's a YouTuber that we could have you fake marry? So do everything but sign the paper. Sophie Rain? Like Amelia Hartford? I could do Amelia. What about Sophie Rain? Can you know who she is? I actually don't know who that is. Look her up. She happens to follow C-Boys TV. I think it could happen again. I personally do not, but sorry. Sophie Rain and Ken Matthews get married in Cabo. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. Some context. Sophie Rain is like the highest earning OF creator. I don't know if you can say it. I think that's probably why she follows us. Just because of the car content. She's probably trying to figure out what to buy with all her money. What do you think? I might have to investigate that a little more. There you go. Okay. Dude, I think we speak that into the world. Sophie Rain, Ken Matthews, 2026, Cabo. We don't want that, though, because if Ken married her, he would leave us so fast. Dude, she made $50 million last year. You could add a second story to your boathouse. Maybe even add just the second boathouse. Yeah, Ken would be like, I'm done filming with you guys. Have you fucking do these pranks on me? I don't need any of this anymore. And all of us would say, damn it. Money. Money Mike does? Are you serious? All right. For you audio listeners, three gifts in a row. Our boy Jackson just walked in with five Nike shoe boxes. Hey, yo. These are sick. I get it now. Ryan, you're the only one who can fill the shoes of my best man. That's so sick, dude. What? Dude, right? Yes, yes, I accept. Awesome. Dude, this is so sick. Damn, my brother. So Ryan's your best man, huh? And now he is, yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Oh, look at that, Ryan. I was getting nervous you weren't going to ask me. Look at that, dude. Let's go. Damn, I think I owe somebody some money. I took the over-under on that one. Grooms, man, let's go, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, dude. These are sick, too. Yeah, so I got. Thank you, Mike. Dude, it was so much fun ordering. Like, I got everyone different pairs. These are fucking sick, dude. Dude, thank you, Mike. Of course, bro. I'd be honored, bro. Absolutely. You're a man, dude. These are sick. Woo. Shit, those are sick. What? Those are bad. Are those reflective? Yeah, the Nike signs are reflective. Bro, these are so sick. We're going to give up this beauty. Holy shit. Bro. Are you buying that, kid? Is it a convertible? Yes, you're buying it. You have to buy that. That is insane. Are you serious? That is so sick. How much is it? $8,085. Oh, that's actually a pretty decent deal. Pull the trigger on it right now. Let's go get it today. Dude, start it off with another car. I want to go look at it, at least. What do you mean look at it? I'm looking at it right now. It looks great. Let's go. Last podcast, Mike bought a Viper. You got to buy one right now. Yes, yes, yes. Calling it now. Someone buys a car on the podcast every single podcast. So my buddy Slim got himself a proper fishing boat this summer. Or this spring, he picked it up. Just a little early 90s, like a 16-footer, 40-horse motor on it. Just a proper fishing rig. And he has had it out eight times this year. Never had a problem with it. Runs like a top. And before he could even get to shore, I whip a U-turn and just crank the throttle wide open. And the lower unit just explodes out of the boat. Just like all the bad metal noises. I can't even. And just seeing Slim just slowly turn around. He's halfway from the dock to its truck. Just turns and just gives me that look. Like, really? You rat bastard. This guy. So now what? He's got to get a new lower unit. It wasn't my fault. It never is. It never is. But you never had insurance when you finally needed it, though. Yeah, but I ended up. It buffed. It buffed. You had a compound fracture. Yeah, but it. He just limps around a little now. We just buffed it out. It's good now. If your pointer finger is longer than your ring finger, you didn't get a certain amount of a hormone at birth. And they've found that it holds up with people that are homosexual. I got two gay cousins. Should we call them up and check? Yes, call them. Call them up and check. Yeah, I got it. Actually, I got a gay buddy. I got a gay buddy. I'll call up right now. So straight up, I was just, like, mind blown because he said that. And I was like, wow, I wonder, maybe you need to take this to the boys. So you took this information from this podcast, face value, it's true. No. Okay. But I just, I wanted to, you know, I think it could mean something. So I just wanted to, you know, just see. Should we put it to the test? Yeah. Let me call my buddy. Ryan, you're fucking kidding me. Hello? Well, define the ratio here. Yeah. We might need a fucking tape measure. Because Spenny's is looking pretty mountainous over there. Wait, so. I don't know. Is this just a whole thing to get us to look like this at our nails? Now, how do we know, CJ? Ryan's looking hetero. Yeah. Looking pretty hetero. That's a pretty hetero. I'm definitely not out clean yet. Spenny. But that makes sense because I got my cousin. Yeah. It might be something biological. Yeah. It might be biological. And then I somehow just. Like in the genetics. Yeah. I just made it out clean. Not clean, but. You don't know. Have you ever thought about it? I've never thought about it. Well, you should think harder about it. I feel pretty comfortable. Ben, you look pretty stumped over there. Are you good? Pretty quiet. The newlywed couple. What's up, brother? Oh my gosh, dude. I've been waiting so long to say this. My wife. What's up, Sid? All right. Let's go. A little backstory for the listener. Mike and Sydney got married last night. We had their wedding yesterday. I mean, I feel bad saying this for the other people's weddings that I've been to, but it was actually the best wedding I've ever been to. Thank you. There was so much stuff that happened at the wedding. That's for damn sure. There was so much stuff. And it was just. It was just a great time. It just really was. From Gavin stealing Ken's Continental with Evan, doing donuts right before the best man speech, dusting out everyone eating, you know, your hot dog stand. How much money did you make last night on the hot dog stand? Quite a bit, actually. Like 300 bucks. And I didn't even work it. Your uncle just came over there and shoved a bunch of money in my pocket. That was the best. Another profitable night, huh? You guys all look so hungover. Dude. Everyone's pretty quiet. In sunglasses back here. It's crazy. I know you guys aren't supposed to be talking right now, but like half the crew has their sunglasses on. And I also want to apologize right now. Hey, look her in the eyes. Do it. I am very sorry. You know, we were just hanging out a couple of Tony's and. It's OK. I know you had to make it about you. Oh, my God. No, no, no. I was not trying to make it about me. It just kind of ended up with the keys in my hands. And in the ignition. Was it cool? At least. Did it look cool? No. That's actually the worst part is that it didn't look cool because it was, you know, just what was the stigma for the listener? You were just sitting in your chair, right? I'm so sorry, but I do want to. Oh, yeah. Well, we were all getting ready for speeches. So we're trying to get everyone to be in their seats. Yeah. The DJ was like, make sure everyone's in their seats. All of a sudden, literally all the black tuxes running over there. Yeah. Literally the MC goes, all right, we're just waiting for the bridal party to sit back down. And then you see. I haven't been doing fucking donuts 25 feet from the tent. Like we see donuts literally every day. Of course. At least once a week. Someone's doing a donut around here. Dude, I doubt some of our family has seen someone do a donut since Uncle Timmy got drunk 25 years ago. You know, like people were nervous. They thought you were going to hit him. You slid into the trees. Were they nervous? You think? I was nervous. I thought you guys put it into the trees at one point from the angle I was sitting. You backed it up extremely. And I knew that Evan and Gavin were pretty liquored up from the moment I saw them. They had already put in a pretty solid shift for the last three, four days. So they pulled up rolling. Oh, man. We just came off the mozzarella sticks. And yeah, you guys read Zorba. So they pull up. We immediately ripped the sleeves off Gavin because he looked weird having sleeves on in his in his tuck. So we ripped those off. That's the first thing I noticed at the ceremony. I'm like looking around at everyone. I see Gavin. I'm like, did you? Did you like it? It was appropriate. So no. I think she'd be lying if she said she liked it. I mean, it wasn't like bad. It wasn't bad. If you want them, they're still in the car. We can definitely sew them back on. What are my arms? I don't even have the shirt anymore. It's completely gone. There's nothing. It's ripped to smithereens. Ripped to smithereens. It was okay. I just was so surprised at how like rough it was. It was a hand. It was a hand job. Like, I mean, we just ripped it. Like, we didn't use the scissors. Nothing. Just fucking. Yeah, that showed. But that was all right. That's what he prefers, though. And at my wedding, I would hope that you would show up like that. Be yourself. Yeah. Like, that's just so on brand. And Evan being just a little bit on like the fence of not knowing where he's at. I like that, you know. Hey, what do you mean not knowing where he's at? He was just on one. Oh, just looking around? Yeah. Where am I? I got some good shots of Gavin tearing up the grass. You did a really good job. You were staying right there with me. You were on the inside loop, man. Oh, because you were. You're going two miles an hour. That's how I knew we were doing something right is when Dalton came running over getting the camera. I was like, all right, we're going to spin it. I don't know about doing something right, but you were doing something. Yeah, exactly. Dude, I was even apologizing just for being there. I felt guilty just building it. Because you were instigating me. If you come over with the camera, no shit, I'm going to run it. You were already doing it. Speaking of putting poisonous things in your lungs and reaping the ramifications of it, I have been working on getting a slide. Life insurance. Because we're working on our buy-sells. We're working on becoming a proper company with proper benefits, right? All of our rates are pretty similar except for one. Oh, God. Our buddy, Kenjamon. Kenjamino. Okay, let's. So, these are all of our things, right? They're all together. Notice this. Because it's just presumed they're in the same rate. Sit down, Ken. Sit down. Yeah, come on in here, bud. So, preferred is. So, like the best non-smoker they said is probably what we'll get. So, it's about $1,100 a year for $2 million worth of coverage, per se. Something about it would happen. Anyone want to guess what old Kenjamino's is? Because I had him. He's a known vapist. And I asked him. I said, if he quits, you know, for like a test and whatever. And they said, if he was to say he quit and then started again and there was nicotine in his system, they could deny the claim. So, I was like, all right, probably not worth it. Is he over double? Triple. Holy shit, Ken. What? This is all because he's a vapist. Pretty much three times. Is it worth it, Ken? Now you're costing me money. Now your vaping is costing me money. Okay, so I actually was thinking this week. I'm like, before you even brought this up, I was like, it's time to stop. What? Because now is the time, Ken? $616. I've been trying to cut back alcohol in my life. And then I was like, okay, well, what's the next thing? I'm going to cut back that, honestly. So, yeah, honestly, it's time to cut that. Yeah, for literally $1,600 a year. Or $2,300. Jesus Christ. Yeah, this was actually one of the better quotes. Dude, this is a huge moment. This is. This is a huge moment, Ken. The billboard didn't do it. This is it. This is it? This is it. This moment right here, Quinn. Take it out and throw it away. I actually don't have one right now on me. That's what I'm talking about. Because I just don't have one now. Now you don't even have to be worried. Dude, congratulations, Ken. Get it. Congratulations. Holy shit. After everything we've done over the last five years of trying to get you to quit, $1,500 did it. Last year, I surprised everybody with gifts, but with tariffs. Fucking tariffs. Tariffs is the reason. Fucking tariffs. You cheap bastard. Credit card fees. We have foregone the Christmas. Christmas special gifts this year. Oh, I thought you were going to say, but I did get like the whole group. One little thing. No, I actually, I was talking to a GLD about getting us custom life wide open chains, but they said they couldn't do it in six days notice. So what? Maybe next year you have something to look forward to. And your butt is coming in. What part of the sentence? Oh, it's just straight up. No gifts. Butts can't come. There it is. No, there's no, but in this sentence, there is no gifts this year. Have you guys seen the theory going around on Tik TOK that like I'm off the rails on. Oh yeah. That's awesome, dude. I mean, not awesome. Actually, it's, it's not awesome. I don't, I don't know. Hold on. What? Yeah. Uh, people think that I'm just like doing basically every time, but like, but like ever wiped his nose heavily. And they're like, I see this. They're like, you can just totally tell. You tell he's just off, off his, uh, he's all strung out and some people are like, well, like obviously they're, you know, they're YouTubers rockstar, like obviously doing it. And then other people are like, yeah, like how else do you think they like keep up with that lifestyle? And then other people are like, dude, so bummed to see this. I see a lot of those like, oh man, so bummed, dude. I knew exactly after seeing it in the video that people were going to think that it was when we were building the houseboat. And we were cutting all the wood for the inside of it. And then I was cutting the fricking fence post. It was dusty. It was super dusty. And then CJ comes up or don't comes up with the camera. And I was just like fresh off of just like wiping my nose of like sawdust eyes all watery. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to talk during it. And, uh, yeah, they saw that clip and then they were just like, he is off his mind. And I can't even have allergies anymore. I was like, dude, and since we don't do, and like, you don't think anything of it. Oh, I probably shouldn't wipe my nose on camera or whatever. Yeah. So far off base. I commented on that one of the most viral ones. And I was just like, bro, laughing face, laughing face. Like what? This is funny, but absolutely not. Ben, why are you so obsessed with touching me? Because it's just love to like poke me and grab me by my waist. It's just really weird thing to poke when we're in public and you come up behind me and grab both your. Yeah, it's weird, dude. People are going to start thinking weird things. Like, oh, it's not like I hold on over. Wow. But I do give them a little squeeze. It's just like to remind you that they're there. I feel like you're getting used to living with them. So me touching them is you being like, oh, yeah, they're still there. And then every time I poke your belly, it's more of just like a curiosity thing of like, what's the poke going to feel like? It's just peering at it? Yeah. Evan's belly is insane. Like, look at it. Dude. No, like, look, actually, look at this. Hold on. Just let me look for the camera. It's like. What was the turn? What was the turning point? This is a hard poke right here, and it isn't even going in. Just so much beer. Dude, you're bloated. It's just simply full of beer. You've been drinking so much beer for the past three years I've known you. It's only the past year that you started to show it. Yeah, no, I've been drinking a lot of beer lately. Like, even more beer. Yes. And how do we feel about that? I usually feel pretty good after a six or eight beer. It was a bad situation, but I hope there's people out there watching that could use the positivity that I had. The courage. The courage, yeah. I mean, I'm obviously, like, I'm dealing with a lot. I got, this is like, I've rode dirt bikes my whole life, and I could maybe never ride again, but I'm not going to let an injury stop me. And if you're listening and dealing with the same, I hope you push through and get back to doing what you love. Stay positive while doing so. Maybe stay in the gym and keep having fun, too. Yeah. Love you, Spanning. You're a warrior. I'm glad. Yeah, I'm glad. Hello? Good afternoon. Is this Gavin? Who's this? Is this Gavin Carlson? Gavin, my name is Rita, and I work with the Minnesota State Department of Health. Do you have a moment? Say, this is an urgent matter. Do you have a moment, Gavin? No, sorry, you're breaking up. What is this about? My name is Rita, and I work with the Minnesota State Department of Health. We are attempting to control the spread. Do you have a sexually transmitted disease in our area? Your name has been given to us from several individuals as we've been conducting interviews of sexual activity. I need to ask you a few questions. Can you please inform me of your last 60 days of sexual activity? You just hung up. Oh. I think you call him back again and say that just one individual, though. Don't say several. Got it. But that was really good. That was really good. I think call him back. Call him back. He's like, fuck. Now he's on the run. He's on the run. He's on the run. I'm like, what else can you say to him right now? All right, it's calling. Gavin, hi. This is Rita calling back. I must have lost you there. Can you hear me? I can hear you. Wonderful. Do you have a moment so I can ask you a few questions? What is this about? It's a sexually transmitted disease that spreads. It's spreading in our area, and we've been given your name as someone who's potentially been infected. Okay. So I just need to know a few things. Firstly, have you noticed any abnormalities in your genital area as far as lesions, burning while you urinate, itchy, irritation, anything like that? No. No. Okay, good. Good. That's good. Have you been with anyone who which you share a direct relation with in the last 60 days? Have you been with anyone who which you share a direct relation with in the last 30 days? No. Okay. Have you engaged in any fellatio or conilingus in the last 30 days in the state of Minnesota? No. Okay. That does not eliminate you from the propensity to have this disease. We are also working with the Colorado State Department of Health, so they may be contacting you as well. What's the disease? It is herpes. Okay. What's the potential? For also gonorrhea. There's several different cases here we're working on. We're just trying to narrow it down right now. Okay. Okay. So just keep your phone on you so that the Colorado State Department of Health can also reach you. And I do have one more question here. This is a little bit awkward because, you know, the context of the conversation is a little bit uncomfortable. So bear with me here. But is this Gavin Carlson from Shred 80? No. Oh, this isn't three. We can't be. Gavin? Is that you? Okay. My son's just a huge fan of his, so I thought if you were him, I wanted you to say hi to him quick. He's at work with me. I'm sorry about that. No, it's okay. Sorry. Bye. Bye. He couldn't get off the phone quick enough. No, no, no. This is not Gavin Carlson from Shred 80. That's not me. Okay, bye. I feel like we should call him back now on our number. Yeah, I'll call him. No, no, let him sit. Let him sit. Oh, my gosh. Let him sit. He's going to be tweaking. Oh, my gosh. Dude, he's probably like, fuck. You know he's sweating. He's not going to call on anybody. No, that's not me. Bye. That was so good, Angelo. That was so good. He was trying to play dumb. No, no. Nope. Okay. What the heck, bro? Heck. What up? Did you just what? What's up? What's up? I just got a weird phone call. I got a phone call from freaking some lady in Minnesota, and it was weird. I was actually going to call you and tell you I got a weird call. Bro, I literally just got the same call, and she was asking for your contact. What was that about? I don't know. She was just asking. I didn't even think it was like a real lady, and then she was freaking about sexual STD or something. I don't know. It was weird. Regarding what? But then just asking if I'd hooked up with anybody in the last 30 days in Minnesota and stuff like that. It was well over two months ago that I hooked up. I used the condom. And I felt fine. So what'd she say? it was she just asked a couple questions and then she's like okay and then she ended it so weird with saying oh and then can i have you to say hi to my son i was like that's kind of inappropriate and then i just hung up after that she's like are you three wheeler gavin oh she just wanted me to say yeah shut up yeah what what is right bro so it was so weird because yeah i just said no i just said no and i didn't say hi to him i was like no i gotta go oh that's kind of a dick move what the it was a weird situation bro so yeah she called me and was like hi so we've been contacted by someone that you know tested positive for i don't even know what she said gonorrhea maybe and yeah is that bad i don't think gonorrhea is that bad but i like i said i used a condom is it not bad gonorrhea is bad but i don't know i don't think i have gonorrhea what do you mean you don't think i'm i guarantee i don't i think i'd feel some type of weird way i think my p would burn i fall 100 normal itchy no itchy at all warts nothing are you playing a prank now no no i'm just asking i'm just asking because she just called me she called me it was like somebody tested positive and they had told me um that they were like hooking up with someone that was coming to film with you so she had my contact information and i was like oh my god i don't know what to do and and i was like uh okay well yeah i mean it was probably so she was asking if i could connect her with you why would she not have already had my number like why would she know my name and stuff i don't know why i gave it to her okay i mean are you in trouble or what no why would i be in any trouble what are you talking about why you sound so nervous then you're making me nervous what the freak dude you just gave her my number and it didn't even like look official or anything i don't even know why i answered and talked to her what'd she say okay it was the stupidest thing ever what okay i can't are you messing with me no are you messing with me no go into depth like what did she say she just said she worked with the minnesota state department of health so that made it sound official it was just weird as freak though have you got checked lately no what about are you being dead after you messing with me well have you got checked have you got checked have you gotten checked are you no i don't ever get i've never gotten checked i've always no well that might be a problem bro bro for what i told you i used a condom what about that other chick that you were telling me about dude i blow job what about i'm not freaking raw dog and chick though i hate you guys you guys are all so stupid that's not even fun bro how nervous are you gavin gavin hi it's me it's rita i did not like that what the hell you guys here gavin i got rita on the phone here uh gavin hi it's me rita i'm gonna ask you to go ahead and pursue the use of saran wrap full body and go get tested gavin you're an asshole dude you wouldn't say hi to her son bro it did not feel like the right circumstances hey hey what's up dude it's me three-wheeler gav gav we said that was the only time you've ever not claimed to be three-wheeler gav now you'll be gonorrhea gav dude i was just watching a new video literally about the comment and then i got that freaking phone call scared the shit out of me the new video was beautiful i was laughing my ass off that was so good i appreciate that your finland vids have been awesome too or iceland you're awesome you're a man you guys are awesome i don't have any rooms booked it's okay dude it was took everything out of me just hit the flights booked we're flying a legion so it's direct that's nice not delta bro we don't have the money for that i was honestly looking out for you two you paid for their stuff or no uh currently yeah but i mean it's just easier if we pay yeah we could do the non-monetary favors whatever i believe he called them a backdoor well you guys might be sharing a room so it'll be perfect bro i just opened my tiktok and it just opened to f it shred 80 football highlights football highlights it's amazing how they managed to like find you but like people are putting in the work and like digging up stuff i agree like it's insane like every time i open it's something somehow related to us from someone i don't even know i haven't listened to the new podcast but i've been taking some flack in my tiktok about being naked on a motorcycle chasing gavin damn that just came out oh yeah people are literally commenting on my tiktok saying like the 10th time you've been naked on a dirt bike no that's the first time i have a picture of you you've never been naked on a dirt bike come on spenny you've told me stories before there's no way that was your first time oh that's true i wasn't there i was naked on a bike before yeah you're right probably the first time being talked about on a podcast yeah yeah yeah it's like they're they're chirping you or what yeah they're just i don't even know what they're saying they're just saying like that i'm sus after chasing gavin naked on a dirt bike dude cj and i stripped down naked on our pit bikes with ice tires and did wheelies on the ice that was pretty fun and random pointless weird i guess yeah are you justifying it like it's you guys i'm saying it's not it's not crazy it's like riding a horse naked it's not crazy one kid goes explain yourself riding dirt bikes naked chasing gavin that's a valid point and then another guy says concerning gavin with no clothes on the dirt bike concerning him these comments are coming in and i'm like how do these guys know about this because i haven't listened to the new podcast i think we just blow up your spot for like an hour yeah the whole time literally it's all right that was funny i feel like everybody should probably ride a dirt bike naked at once dude it's so exhilarating it's like skinny dipping everybody at once everybody oh that's not one time it's like skinny dipping have you guys never skinny dipped ryan that was the most quad guy thing i think i've ever heard you say come on now ryan like we should go do it after this in the rain nice little drizzle you know what happens when it rains we figure that out not all at once that's not what i meant i meant to say not at once either i meant just to say someone everyone should do it at one not together is what i'm trying to say i just spent the last 10 days with you you talk such a big game and i've seen the worst performance in my life i've seen the worst performance imaginable i'm still out there having fun i'm talking to the girls getting their numbers i'm just setting myself up for in the future i don't need any one night yeah no one night stands we're just looking for the future girl right now what were you doing in the courtyard the other night that's a whole nother story ev oh let me hear this wasn't good man you know i have a slight love for hippie chicks and we were in moab land of the hippies a lot of hippies a lot of douchebags so many just dickheads i would say i've never seen it like that i think i don't know what that was about what are you maybe i was running around looking too redneck oh dude you can hear him punching him that's my mom so she he was already on the hood before this kicks the back keep in mind this thing is in perfect condition yeah the cops are coming buddy just and then he like kind of stops for a little bit here yeah so then he he circles around here watch this oh oh but look at him he looks his hand piece of shit i'm so mad dude i've never seen anybody do that in my life that is insane yeah just one hand punches so i mean that's i wouldn't want to fight him i mean dude how about this right here oh yeah he's on drugs he starts humping the thing you see he thinks it's a fucking decepticon replay that punch again that punch was insane watch him one hand punch it and my cracked it my dad's like or my mom's like he's gonna break his hand and then he just turns and looks at his hand it was pretty funny watch this shit look at the glass boom one hit looks down it like that hurts a piece of shit my mom was your mother's the sweetest lady in the world too i don't think i've ever heard her swear yeah yeah it was kind of her first time i think dude yeah i had to fuck good for her get it out but yeah i suppose but anyways yeah my dad was he's i think a little torn up still about it obviously because his prized possession just got literally fucked up and assaulted and like you know he thinks about things like he doesn't want to have an accident on it on its vehicle report for resale and like you know he spent years just keeping this thing pristine and now it's like to him it's like not as good when you have to go and like get it fixed and like the guy fucked up pretty decently my point is that he looks at it differently than we would like we would be like what you know i got a good podcast story we'd move on we'd go get it fixed whatever but it just it hits a little different and then he's also pretty bummed because i think he when my mom was saying he wishes that he would have done something but i'm like no that would be stupid to go over there and do something about i don't know what you could do dude in minnesota he would have gotten in trouble yeah for assaulting like if your dad literally touched him it would be like well who knows he could have gotten the drugs on him or he just would have he could have gotten stabbed yeah or he could have uh you know end up actually kicking the guy's ass and then it just gets flipped on him that's what you do a act surprise show dismay deny deny deny then you attack with county accusations do you know what what What kind of stickers those were that ended up on my truck? Uh-oh. Well, you gave me the gooby gun and the torch, but the gooby gun was flammable, and now I melted my door handle. And it melted into the, like, with a lot. I can't open my doors. You can't open your doors because of what now? This. This. This is so dumb. So dumb. Ask who could have done it. The stickers. The damn wheel stickers. That, I don't know, I think it was Dalton or whoever. They put those stickers on my door handles, and then I was trying to clean it off. You told me heat it up with the torch and try to scrape it, or to put the gooby gun on it. And then I put the gooby. You said be careful with the torch because it's hot. Well, yeah. I didn't know. The gooby gun was flammable. It's oil. Yeah, now my wrap is melted. My door handle doesn't work. Oh, that's funny? Was it Dalton? I have no idea. Because I'm going to loosen his lug nuts up if it was him. Well, you should do that anyway. Well, you came in and you got it off. Well, I got it off the one side, and then I found out this son of a bitch put it on. I put it on multiple doors, so then I just put a lot of gooby gun on there, and I just hit it with the torch right away trying to speed things up. It says flammable right on that bottle. I was irritated and didn't have time to read. But you didn't see who took those stickers. I didn't see who put them on your truck? Well, I mean, yeah, I would love to know if you saw who put them on my truck, but I'm saying they were all the stickers were in there. They were in the shop, in the work base, so I thought maybe you saw who stole the stickers. No, I gave the one to Ben. You gave. So it was Ben. I thought it was. I gave him a big red one. I'm like, what do you want to do with this? And I was going to stick it. I was pretending to stick it on the side-by-side, and he grabbed it from me and threw it in the garbage. Okay, so I should look at Ben, though? I don't know. Well, if you were a betting man, who do you think I should suspect? Boy, I would hate to throw anybody under the bus. All right, well, I'll get to the bottom of this. I just. I'd hate to be the guy that did it. Boy, I would, too. I wouldn't want you mad at me. Well, I would never be mad at you. I know you would never do that. I know you'd never cause me to burn half of a wrap off my truck, wreck a door handle right before Christmas. I have presents to buy and a family. Yeah, that would stink. I would have read the label first. So you're telling me. You're telling me it's not the sticker applicator's fault? It's the Goobygon guy's fault? Well, did you not look at the Goobygon? I think that stuff is happening. Well, I looked at it. It was running down my door. This thing's oily as mess. That's not good. No. All right, well, we'll figure it out. All right, we'll talk to you later. Yep, I'll let you know. What the hell was that? Bro, Big Wrench! Big Wrench! Big Wrench! Can't take a go at a business! Donated somewhere in the. Jesus. Somebody needs to lube the door hinges. Sounds like Evan farted because Mike's walking away. He had to get a breather. It's a good thing we're cornered back here, huh? Good thing that. I've actually been doing it the whole time, but everyone with headphones in didn't know. I could hear it. She's been getting ready for wine night. Dude, I think we found your new spot, Ev. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, this is definitely your spot. Big Ken's going to be pissed because he can't scroll his phone to not look up what we're asking him to. Are you going to put Ken on that side? I don't know. I think we're just going to put him in his own elevated chair. Just call him in for the ads. Some kind of Buddha chair where he sits cross-legged right here, raised up. In the middle. We're ripping across the Seven Mile Bridge, which, as far as I'm concerned, is the longest bridge in America. Bro, seven miles is a long ways, and if you're on this sketchy two-lane, it's got a shoulder about it. It's about this wide. We're driving down it, and the tire blows. The trailer starts swaying back and forth, almost hits the freaking wall of the bridge. There's oncoming traffic, and I yell, tire, to which Gavin yells, where? And I'm like, what the fuck do you mean, where? Behind us. He thought I yelled, fire. So he locks up the, or starts slowing down pretty quickly because he thought we were on fire, but that's obviously. I mean, couldn't you feel it behind the wheel, Gav? Then you got it. Well, a lot was happening. Obviously, there was something wrong with it. Yeah. I hear him say, yell, tire, and I hear, fire, and I just immediately, I'm like, well, shit, we got to get this taken care of right now. Shit got a little chaotic, and we eventually get to the side of the road, and then a semi about takes the mirror off on the side of our pickup. It was a narrow bridge. And he immediately goes, this is not worth dying for. We have to get off this bridge. So we're like, all right, we're going to limp this trailer. Just dragging it on the rim? Yeah, it was rolling. Just bare rim? Oh, it was okay. So we're like. All right, it'll be fine. You know, it's just going to roll. Well, the tire eventually disintegrates the rest of the way. Then you get to the rim, and then you hit one of, like, those things in the bridge, you know, where they, like, flex, and it caught the tire, and then, like, tore up the rim. And so then we basically ended up just dragging it on the hub seven miles. Well, we basically wore completely through the rim, and then got into the hub. Mike, why don't you show off your trophy? Oh, my gosh. The wheel? Dude. That's what's left of the wheel. Like, we didn't do anything. Oh, my gosh. That is so hard. Be careful. It's really dirty. So, like, even if you guys know what a drum brake on an old car or a trailer looks like, even the drum brake is like a half moon. A solid third. Yeah, same size as that. Just gone. I think you got to tell the best part, though, now. It started on fire. There actually was a fire. It started on fire. Dude, I'm sitting there, like, kind of eyes closed. We're driving, you know. I'm just listening. Dalton's like, you know, we're talking about how your guys' tire blew, whatever. And then Dalton goes, man, Mike's shit always starts on fire. Leave it to Mike. That's why we're using Mike's trailer. Of course it started on fire. And I just was like, bro, the tire. In my head, I was like, the tire blew. You're being a little dramatic. I don't think it counts as a fire. And then an hour later, I look at the technology. I see the video. The thing was actually on fire. Yeah. It started sparking, and I look back, and one of those times, like, sometimes, I think something, and I don't say it out loud. But this time, I go, I think it's going to start on fire. And then by that time, it was already on fire. Well, it was, bro, the rubber. Everything you own, Mike. Everything. My house, dude. Nah, not your house. You better be careful, though. The rubber had, like, not a lot of rubber, but enough rubber to light on fire. Had, like, got behind the rim and was wrapped up in the axle. So the sparks started that rubber on fire. But the problem was the floor of the trailer is wood. It's an all-metal trailer. I said that right away. I'm like, what's a metal trailer? It can't burn that good. And then I realized it's made out of wood. And with a bunch of gasoline bikes in there, too. A generator, four bikes, gas cans, oil. One-wheels, lithium batteries. That was just a bomb. That was just an absolute bomb waiting to go off. I would have been so bummed to lose two Starks, the Harley, and the R6 dirt bike. That would have sucked. It wasn't an option, but we fired in our half-water bottles. We didn't have much. Ryan used a Coke. We fired in Ryan's Coke, my Coke. Which, you know, was a sacrifice. And then Evan pulls out this gallon jug of water, and we're like, sick. Putting the fire out, so sketchy. That was about the longest we spent out of the vehicle. And what, it was a minute? Dude, we just got to watch all together. Oh, man. Yeah, play it, play it. You know me. I can be a little dramatic. Dude, yeah. I thought you guys were drunk listening to the way you were talking, Ryan. Okay. Fuck you. I was like, well, Ryan, that's the funniest part. Obviously, I am in this moment being pretty dramatic. He hawks at me, bro. Our rig is burning down. Yeah, get out of the way. Sorry we inconvenienced you. You had to swap lanes for a second. Oh, slow the fuck down. Me being dramatic. Me being dramatic. And then I calm down. All right, watch out for these cars. And then look at this guy. He literally is in our lane. Fuck you. Dude, he probably couldn't see you. He probably couldn't do it. I was going to say, can I devil's advocate for that guy? Oh, yeah. You could see the frickin' trailer with flashers and fire. But you were running like 50 feet behind it with just an iPhone light. No, that was right behind the trailer, but that helped. When I did that, I think it helped. People started moving over earlier, but yeah, definitely. I think it did help, but I could see where they're like, what is this maniac doing? Where if it was just the flaming trailer, maybe he wouldn't have. But honestly, I respect what you did, because you were looking out for all of us trying to be firefighters. So thank you. Thank you for your service. What I'm excited for is to see the mark in the bridge when we drive home. I don't even know if we should talk about it. We might get charged for seven miles of concrete. We're sitting at the bar, Evan, myself, and Mike, and the bartender, Evan starts telling the story like, yeah, we blew a tire on the way in on the bridge. He goes, that was you guys? Shut up. Yes. And we go, what? You heard about that? He goes, yeah, word gets around pretty quick. It's a pretty small town. what the fuck i love women that are older that's probably my biggest problem and they love you they do love me yeah because they think that you're like low 40s yeah 100 i'm at the perfect age to get the woman i like i love these older women and now i finally have a chance to get them so it's been hard staying away from them explain what the dilemma was though you met a cute girl she looks younger but she's older she's correct and uh you guys had a late night had a late night we just hung out man but you know and it was pretty pretty low key all things considered the biggest problem was how much i fell in love if you want to know the truth yeah i fell in love yeah you're still pretty flustered about it but so i'd say that i'd say that's not the biggest problem though yeah that seems like pretty that's like the second problem to the first biggest problem she's married isn't she she's married no no no no no no what do you mean no the picture you showed me like if you zoom in on her hand she's clearly wearing a wedding ring stop guys i'm getting anxious well we're not gonna we're not gonna show a picture we're not gonna say anything on you either this is not on you correct i don't think this is on you at all a married woman that was not wearing her wedding ring correct that told gavin that she was single and then gavin told us how in love he was and we started doing some research and we were like oh yeah this woman is married and he goes how do you know and we go well here's a photo of her with her husband and kids yesterday yeah i was gonna say well he was like he was being weird about it i got her first name and then i found her under his following and it was literally yesterday i was like what do you mean you were under debate whether she had a husband she just posted a picture yesterday with him gavin feels like he did something wrong but i feel like you didn't thank you for that well you didn't know genuinely we're duped you're not wrong for feeling bad i'd feel bad about it so bad yeah it's really just a cruel world out there man you can't trust anyone i can actually feel yeah gavin i can feel that energy off of gavin right bro i'm sorry no it's okay i've been worked up about it just because of how much i actually liked her too that is a bummer you never know she was pretty she was she was she is very impressed too she was like wow bud you know i know oh not good bro makes the guy all worked up like holy crap do you think your man even rides three wheelers that's probably the problem dude last time we went and got uh one of the boys x-rayed we found out that evan had a little toy car why is there a little toy car well i mean you don't think that shouldn't have anything to do with my back problems though should it like that that shouldn't even be normally people take that out right away but how about you cj what'd you do i saw you guys played fortnite got a horned up playing fortnite alex wonder why you were so sweaty while you were gaming yeah that's normal um no i i didn't really game that much i probably played like an hour and a half but uh so speaking of weddings do you guys remember how when we were at heydays that guy proposed to his yeah now fiance right in front of us it was on video yeah well his name's jameson he asked if i could ask you to be ordained and marry them well are you joking right now i'm being dead serious he wants you to officiate the wedding that's so lit why not ken you were no no i think you say no way and oh i was like i'm just sorry no way i can't wait so no dang it no when is it uh i can get the details it's next summer what is he gonna be busy you got plenty of time we can move stuff away yeah yeah we can move i think you should do that and then i also have a lot of time to do that i think you should do that i think you should do that and then i also have a lot of time to do that i think you should do that for you to do the same for my wedding but alex keeps saying no i just know that alex would want a different direction for your wedding i think she deserves what you're gonna give been getting everything she wants for the wedding i have one ask and it's for ken to do the officiating well you are planning a stunt show yeah you're hosting that part though oh perfect yeah but the stunt show is just part of it that doesn't that's not something i want that's something that's gonna happen it's not like i get one ask and i think it's gonna happen it's for ken the stunt show is that's that's a done deal like there's nothing we can do about there's no true rule of thumb but i think the guy should get three asks so i mean you got the stunt how many did you get mike i got three all right what'd you get uh i could invite you guys that one was tough to get through that actually used up all three of my asks on that one the viper was the second one and carrot cake was the third one what a terrible waste of a third one well i mean you can't you did not get much out of those if i would have said stunt show like i wouldn't have got it so ken will you do it for him jameson he's watching right now i think it depends on how long i i don't like what what what does that entail like am i the main guy talking well i mean you'll be you'll be running through their vows you'll be talking you know we gather here today to marry jameson and his soon-to-be wife sophie they love each other very very much they've been through so many ups and downs and you know marriage is like a a roller coaster it it goes ups and downs but no matter what how much fun you stay on the ride because you can't hop off and also it's so much fun yes and 20 minutes tops ken you got yeah i think you're doing nice i feel like you gotta spend a weekend or two with them so you get to know them as a couple for sure so you can say some nice things about them actually let me so you're gonna think about it i'll think about will you be my ordained minister i don't know if it's ordained i don't even know what the name proper naming is this but will you do mine would you you won't damn so even if i can persuade alex to say yes you will say no i think yours has a lot more like pressure on it are you kidding me people would love it they'd be glued it has less pressure i feel like than than this other yeah they're gonna be like most of the people they're gonna who's this tall bearded man yeah but we're we're such an i don't know and why is he wearing a ketchup costume i think you need to slurp a minnow before the pod yeah let's do it end it out ken with with the minnow no no why not i'll do it with you put it in your drawers you won't even know with you no i'm i'm not doing a minnow shot but if you don't have any fireball you just just eat the minnow no i'm not just doing just eating a minnow that is disgusting it's either right either do that or a cold punch no no that was no way incredible come on brother get some beer down you yeah he just he slurped it did you slurp it or did you just like you turn into the suck and then throw it on the floor no i that's gone you slurp that thing i can see in your eyes well ben now is not the time bro the the velocity was incredible on that yeah i'm not doing a minnow shot that's just end of story we're gonna sit out here all night bickering about it rip one ken we're gonna sit out here all night bickering about oh why don't you do a minnow shot no why don't you do a minnow shot no why don't you do a minnow shot no it's just what we're gonna do why don't you just do it we can keep going this podcast for another three hours going just do a minnow shot i'm gonna be like no why don't you just do it because i don't want to do a minnow shot why because i don't want to do it because it's fucking tuesday you know what is that this is ridiculous yeah well that's pretty good podcast boys yeah it was good fun i think there was a lot of humor there was a lot of lessons learned i think it was a lot of fun i think it was a lot of fun i think it was a lot of fun i think it was a lot of fun everybody yeah even i have that problem less motion try to just you know more friction thank you cj that'd probably be the best way to would you say you're kind of an expert it's called the pelvis method yeah you know i don't want to talk about myself but uh you know i don't want to talk about myself either but yeah actually oh my god he's not gonna make it he pissed his pants he pissed his pants he actually pissed his pants on that note thank you uh for getting through this podcast yeah thank you guys and uh thank you for getting us to five million subscribers yeah that's big boys cj's gotta go play play fortnight i probably am gonna go play fortnight cj's gonna get into seven rounds 30 seconds each i don't know if that's a diss on his gameplay or ken does live beneath me Woo!