Best of James (Compilation)

This episode of Distractable is present to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet according to the experts at UCLUS speed test. If you want the fastest 5G speeds with a 5-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com/home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply, fastest based on UCLUS speed test intelligence data, second half 2025, all rights reserved. From mini me to paternal pride, it's time for best of James. You got a baby! Oh yeah, that's right, also there's a baby. Wow! James! His name is James. James! I don't have to call him baby anymore, he has a name now, legally. James. That's a good name. Man, what would you think if I said it wasn't a good name? Oh, does James pay his taxes yet? Do you know tax season's only three months away, little James? Well listen, daddy takes care of the taxes, okay, James doesn't have to worry about that. James, that's the whole point of having a baby to pay your taxes for you and stuff? I don't know what you've heard about babies, but no. No, don't even add an entertainer about this one, no, straight up no. I thought they changed your diapers when they get like hold up to get out of their own and they pay your taxes for you and I don't know it works so you can die. Alright so you had the critical ideas of old enough on their own, but what is that age that you think it is? After they emerge? You think that's old enough on their own? After the emergency, what's it called the emergency emergency emergency room? Yeah, they got all these pregnant ladies in there doing their emergency things with the emergency room. I get it now, medical jargon is so lost at me. I saw a turkey, that was so big that nobody believed that it was a turkey until they inspected it for themselves. Took James to a fall festival, like a farm, right? You know, it's a big Midwest thing, it's like, "Oh, it's fall. Let's do a corn maze." And then go in the pump patch and we'll have activities and stuff. And we went to this place, it was really fun. They had a bunch of cool play sets. The first moment we were there, I did have made a parenting mistake. They had this big thing that was just like a big hill and you could run. It was sort of like a hill where you were supposed to clearly run from one side to the other. And there was like a path, but then the sides were very steep. You were not supposed to go up or down the sides. You were supposed to go over the path. And James started going up that and I was like, "Ah, that'd be a good picture." Because I was like, "I'm trying to take pictures. We're doing this fun thing with James. I want pictures of James." And so I was like, "He won't be fucking crazy for 30 seconds. I can let him run up or down this hill really quick." So I let him go and I'm like, "I'm just going to go around and take a picture of him and I have my phone out about to take a picture." He's on the very top of the hill and he looks down at me and he just goes, and tries to run down the steepest fucking. It took like two steps and then just pile at the bottom and it's busy. This is right by the entrance. So there's a bunch of other people doing the hill and people and just out in the middle of all that James is just fucking eating so much. Just back up. And I just, I put my phone away going to go and pick him up and he's like, "I'm okay. Let's do this stuff because he doesn't want to go home." And he's like, "It was fine." But it was so, I was like, "He can do this right." Did you get any of it? Like a photo collage of, "Ah, I pooped." God, I fucking, I wish I didn't even get all the way to like, I was like trying to get the camera open and I was like, "Oh, no." And then there's, "Bluf." Anyway, it's warm out now and that's really fun for James because it means we get to go back to the playgrounds and stuff. And we did that yesterday and he had hell of a time. Before it got cold when we were going to the playgrounds like the end of last summer, he was walking but he was small enough that it was kind of like, we had to chase him around basically because at any moment he might just like fall off an edge or do something crazy. And so we would, and he's like really independent now, which is awesome. But I forgot one important fact about the playground that we take him to a lot. It's like one of those old school like wooden castle style playgrounds. Super fun. There's an area with a really fun slide. And he was, I was letting him climb up on his own and go up there to go on the slide. But right next to the slide, they've made this feature where it's like tractor tires stacked up. And the middle of the tractor tires is a hole down all the way to the ground. And you're, it's meant for kids to like climb down the tires like they're ladders and then there's like some chains and like it's for climbing. But James is not tall enough or coordinated enough to climb on something like that. So I let him go up there and then he got to the slide and he was like, slide big tires. And I was like, what do you mean big tires? Because it's like up on the second level. And I'm like, what big tire? And he went and he's like leaned over the hole. And I was just like, I forgot that was there. And I ran and dove under the bottom of it. And was like, face up under the hole. And I was like, get out of the slide. And he just looked at me for a second. It was like, oh, yes, slide. All right, I won't jump down the suicide hole yet. That's fucking like it was the one because when we got to the playground, I was like, all right, let's see how this goes. And he started climbing on his own. And I was like, this is cool. He's so, he's having so much fun. And then he was like, I'm going to go on the slide and start climbing up. And I was like, oh, man, big tire. Like, whoa, fucking shit. Why did they put a jump hole in this place? Anyway, he's fine. And he went down the slide about 20 times. He would just, but like half of the times, I continued to let him go up on his own. And like half the time, he'd get up there and be like, big tires. And I had to be like, we're going on the slide, buddy. Remember the slide? Yeah. But anyway, it was super fun. And only twice did I almost think he was about to break his entire self jumping down a big hole for no reason on to hard ground below. Also, he threw a lady herself on. Oh, really funny. This poor mom was chasing her kid around who was more in the needs adult supervision very directly staged still, younger than James. And she like went down the slide and friend James like frantically like, ah, where'd you go, baby? And her phone fell out of her pocket on the top of the slide. And James is just sitting there with this stranger's phone in his hands just like, mine now. And she's at the bottom of the slide like, give me my phone, baby. Give me my hand. He like contemplated and everybody eventually he was like, okay, and tossed it down the slide. And it was very nice. But I thought I was about to have to go wrangle my son from stealing a stranger's cell phone at the playground. I think you're going to be like, oh, you found us a new phone. Thanks, baby. And then like leave with it. Now James, ask for money for this. Oh, yeah. I'm going to earn way more points. I have a very funny update. All right. I can't wait. Sad updates aren't worth nothing. Okay. James is refining his comedy and it's really fucking funny. So James likes to tell jokes and a lot of his jokes are set up punchlines. Something really quick. Usually he'll do like a fart or something or you're like, whatever. But he has realized he likes getting the laugh. And he has learned like, this is what got me the laugh, right? So he'll do a joke and he'll be like, ah, and then I farted and everyone's like, ha, ha, very funny like, and he'll be like, and then I farted because he's like laugh some more, right? He's like working on it. But obviously you can't say the same punchline twice in a row. That doesn't work. We're comedians. We know that. So last night at dinner, we've seen there. And James just is like eating his food and he looks over at man and he goes, mom, your cheese and mom and man, he's like, why am I cheese? And he's like, cheese can't talk. And I'm like, okay, I look at him and I'm like, okay, what's dad? And he goes, dad, you're crackers. And I'm like, oh, because crackers goes with cheese and he's like, crackers can't talk. We're sitting there and I look at him and I'm like, all right, if mom is cheese and dad is crackers, what is James? And he goes, hmm, I'm scared. Because mom and dad are cheese and crackers and we lost our shit. Like it was very funny and we made it. I had a good laugh and he was just like soaking it up. Like, that's the funniest thing I've ever said. I mean, he's right. And I said, and we've been trying to teach him about this, right? So we had to laugh. It was good. And I looked back at him and I was like, okay, James. Mom is cheese and dad is crackers. What does that make James? And he was like, oh, can't say the same thing. Oh, what do I say? Oh, I'm afraid. And then he went through every word that he could think of that was like scared to get to back to the same bunch of it. So funny. It's probably much fun here because I'm his parent. Like, I get that that's maybe not the most genius comedy thing that's ever been crafted. But he is working on he's like really actually working on his timing and he's like experimenting with how he's doing. It's very funny to watch him like figure it out in real time. It's actually super impressive too. He's thinking of like synonyms and word play like. Like that's crazy. - He did it a bunch. I think he did. I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm upset. I'm, what did he say? I'm nervous, I'm something. He did like one or two other ones. He knows a lot of words. - That's funny and impressive. And he's just turned three? - Yeah, just turned three. - Yeah, when do we start rashing in names? Was that in the 90s? (laughing) (laughing) - Please, sir, can I have some middle initial? - I just wanna name my daughter Dorothy. We don't even wanna have a last name. - I can give you a door. (laughing) - Dad, just 'cause there's a story, it doesn't mean I like my name. Why did you call me door? - I can give you a door and a hyphen. - Let's talk to your brother, Jam. You guys are a pair. I know, Mandy and I are not gonna name our daughter, Dorothy, don't worry, Chad. Also, we don't have a daughter. That's a hypothetical daughter. Do you have a secret daughter that we've never known about? - No. - That would really prove some favoritism going on. If you keep going on with your son and all the stories about your son, it's like, oh yeah, also. There's a daughter somewhere in there. - James is so great. James, James, James. Guys, we got a count of the number of times we've heard James. We're not door. - Oh no. - Well, maybe we'll go back and be like, oh my god, he's been saying door all along and we thought he's really the hardware. Oh my god. - Door wouldn't shut up last night. I was like, man, it's dudes, doors talk a lot. What the hell? - At 26 minutes, when we play James backwards, it's actually doors the favorite. - Well, that's gonna start some funny rumors. Oh, James is, well, it's not fair to say this. James is almost potty trained. James is wearing big boy underpants. So that's pretty big, that's huge. And he went a whole day yesterday with no accidents or anything. So he's in the potty like a real dude. He pisses everywhere. About door, door sucks. I don't wanna talk about that. (laughing) - I think it was kind of an accident but it ended up happening on Monday of this week. We've been trying to potty train James for a while and it started with just like, we'll just let him sit it like, we'll let him sit on the potty, we'll try and catch him. And there are a bunch of strategies that are really intense. Like, one of the strategies is, he just doesn't wear pants or a diaper and whenever he starts peeing or pooping, you just grab him and go, (laughing) Look how fun he had to run to the bathroom. (laughing) Which sounds like the most insane shit I've ever heard. But the strategy that we have gone with is, you said a timer for, like, start at 15, it's at 20 minutes now. You said a timer and you slowly, lengthen the timer and every time the timer goes off, James goes to the bathroom. So that it's like, he hopefully doesn't have an opportunity to go in his diaper, you get in there. And if he sits and if he goes, he goes, if he doesn't go, it's fine. It's like, we can make it fun and you have like books and you hang out and he gets rewarded for going and being good. - Does it like Pavlov's dog in this, when he goes to school one day, like, the bell goes off for next period. He's like, oh no, the timer. - It might. - Okay. - We're unsure about the Pavlovian things that we're building into our son. But this is one of the methods that like, it's online, people are like, it works. But I turned my kid in one week, but he's been doing really good. He likes it, generally, and he does, generally what he's supposed to do, but he does not care if his pee is aimed into the toilet. And so if you're not paying close attention, 'cause like, I set him on there and I get him situated, so it's good, but he sits there and he wiggles and he does stuff and he might stand up and sit back down. And by the time he actually does go to the bathroom, a lot of times, you're just sitting there, and all of a sudden it's just like, shit, I was like, ah, oh, ah, get that, aim it down. But he's doing really good. And he's making progress, gotta get potty trained, so he can be ready to go to preschool, 'cause he's a smart kid and he's gonna need more mental stimulation. He needs to learn. He's pretty much only happy if he's learning shit, which is awesome, but exhausting when it's like, okay, it's 45 minutes 'til bedtime, I'm exhausted and James is like, tell me about every animal in the Sahara. And I'm like, God, I only know like five. - That's how you did so good on the animal part. - Yeah, no, I literally, the Quetzalcatus, I know Quetzalcats, whatever, that dinosaur, I know so many more animals than I ever did in the rest of my entire life, because James will just be like, tell me about animals. And I'll be like, what about penguins? And he's like, I know about penguins. Keep good new ones. God, I don't know, I gotta go study. And it wasn't ready for the pop quiz. (laughing) - That's delightful. - Just make up animal. - That's dangerous. - Do you remember shit? - That's true. - I mean, authors do it all the time. Have you gotten into mythical animals yet? - Not so much. That actually is an interesting thing. He sort of, developmentally, he's starting to get to the place where he like, he understands that stories exist in like other worlds kind of, but he really doesn't get that all stories aren't just like things that happen in real life all the time. So the great, like we, many and I both really like Nightmare Before Christmas, classic movie, enjoyable movie, terrifying for him. He loves the music. If you just play the music, he's all, this is how the movie is. - It is a terrifying movie. - But like the visuals of the movie and the characters of the movie, he is immediately just like, we had a thing where we just, we showed him, like, and then he showed him like the first minute. And after stuff started happening on screen at the very opening of the movie, he was like, it's scary, it's scary. And for like a week afterwards, every time he went to bed, we like, do the whole thing, he's all happy, we read books, we put him down, we're like, all right, goodnight dude, and he's all. I'm scared of Halloween. Oh God. It's not real, it's okay. It's a movie. Those guys can't hurt you. The timing's bad because Halloween's right around the corner, so that's probably, probably gonna work. - But like stuff he sees in real life that might be scary to other kids. He's actually pretty chill about. Like he thinks, we go to like, minards and home stores and stuff, and they have those huge witches and fit. And when we're at the store, he's like, ha, giant witch. And he thinks it's awesome. But in movies and stuff, like if it's too creepy, or like, night before Christmas, it's very like stylized and, but if that existed in real life. - Oh no, a focus, that would be scary. 'Cause I would have raised focus, but I was scared of Billy. They got the sealed mouth. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He was scared, he was a mess, y'all. - We helped him. - James turns three in December. - Oh, so he hasn't achieved consciousness yet. - Truth consciousness. - All right, Bob, what's going on in your life? Who are you in debt to? Mafia? - Oh, lots of people. - So we recently visited family in Iowa that we were discussing generally, and this is like a theme that comes up in James likes Bluey, and there's several episodes in Bluey that deal with pregnancy and stuff. And we were trying to explain to him like what a pregnant lady is, right? We were talking, and it just sort of came up, and so it's like, "Oh, who's pregnant? Is mom pregnant?" Whatever, but anyway, we were trying to be like, "No, nobody." When a person is pregnant, when a woman is pregnant, it means that they have a baby growing in their belly. And so you might not be able to tell, but like if you see someone who's pregnant, you need to be careful, right? Like they have a baby in the belly. You're gonna be careful with the baby. It was just a discussion that we had. And it was going on and the way things do with like kids, just trying to like teach him stuff. So we got to the belly gets big 'cause the baby gets big, and James looks at me, and is like, "Baby and dad's belly?" And I was like, "Oh, no, no, no, dad's just fat." That's a confusing distinction for you, sorry buddy. But it was like a funny moment, but everyone was not in on it. So then after we get back from that trip, we're at dinner with Mandy's parents. And James is talking and they're like, everyone's paying attention to James at dinner at a restaurant. And out of nowhere, he just starts talking about babies. And he's just like, "Dada, da, da, da, pregnant ladies." "Dada, da, da, da, babies." "Mana, na, na, na, baby in the belly." "No, dad's just fat." And Mandy's parents did like a spittate. It was the funniest fucking thing. 'Cause like out of nowhere, unprompted, he just like remembers the conversation that we had. And now he just does that. He'll just, he'll just walk up and hit me with the like, "No, dad's just fat." And then walk away. And everyone's kinda like, "You taught him that." I'm like, "I know, I taught him that." This is exactly what I was hoping would happen. That's so funny. Anyway, he's gonna be a funny kid. - That also brings up the point of like, whenever you move out of some place, what makes it difficult is the memories you have there. So one of the hard things about leaving our previous house, we obviously have a lot of good memories there. 'Cause we were there for like five or six years. But the last time we got to hang out with Zombie who passed away and person was at the house. And like, I remember like seeing him sitting like on our couch, like on his laptop and stuff like that. And it's like, "Oh, we're leaving that memory behind." So like, there's also the people that have entered and left your lives. If you have memories with them in a place, that can make a place feel like home and it's harder to leave it behind. Or just the memories you make over time. The longer you're in a place, the more memories you have. Like the harder it is to leave that because that feels more like home than a new home can for a while. - No, it's funny, both of you brought up stuff that definitely connects with me. Well, us, so we lived in California only for like four years basically. But, and we lived in two different places there. So we weren't in the place we just moved out of that long. But, that was the house we lived in when James was born, right? Like, that's where we brought him home from the hospital to that house full of the Grandparents were all in town. That's the first place he ever ate, you know, food and like, there's a very strong, even though it's, he's only yesterday, he turned eight months old. told. He's not even a year old yet. Like most of his life is connected to that place. So like, yeah. I'm done. Okay. I'm pretty good. Uh, we finally don't have people in our house and I don't know what to do about it. It's like, can I sit in some piece and fucking quiet for a second? I don't know. I come over if you want for James. I mean, yeah, sure. I like James. And James really likes Molly, so that's fine. Yeah. He loves Molly. And whoever Molly's husband is. That's pretty much the other. He dude, I listen, he's going to be a, he's going to be a problem. He is a ladies man. And he can, I wouldn't take it barely walk because he's like running now. Yeah, that's true. He did full out loops around me. Yeah. No, he's got blue eyes, blood and hair. He's a big flirt. He's always flirting with girls that are older than him at the playground. His instinct, if he sees any, it's any kids, but he gravitate towards the girls, but especially if they're like five to 10 years older than him, he immediately just walks up. And it's like, I am James. Good. Well, you want to hold hands? He's going to be like eight years old, trying to get a problem. Well, I think he had the day of his life one time. We're at a park. It was mostly a little kids park, but there was a group of like high school girls that were like just hanging out off to the side, just sitting talking in the circle. And he was doing swings and whatever. And he saw them and ran right over and sat down in the circle and didn't even introduce himself. Just sat down. And they were all kind of like, and just kept going and like included him because he was just a cute little kid. And he just sat there. I was like, it's working. My dreams are coming true. And that's pretty much it for me. Well, I have James small talk. Do you guys want to hear about more joys of having a child? Always. Fascinating times in the world of James. He's, he's, uh, he really loves Mark. I think in one of the previous episodes you talked about, uh, the movie K-Pop demon hunters in the weekend immediately following when we recorded that. I, uh, happened to watch it. And I, uh, I agree with your take. It's pretty good movie. It's just enjoyable because we watched the movie. We were playing the music and we just like played it for James. He fucking loves the music from that movie. He, uh, he really likes golden and he really likes the soda pop. He's like dancing more than he's ever danced before anytime it comes on. He starts dancing. And the, there's like the drop in, uh, I forget which one, but the one when it's like we're going up. That's in golden. He like when the drop is coming, he's up and he goes ready. Ready. We're going. It's really funny. Uh, and that's very cute and very fun. And, uh, so to balance it out, uh, this is the other thing that he's doing a lot lately. We were in the car and he was just screaming and not like angry or sad or anything. He was happy. And he was just going, uh, and like it was a lot. And eventually I reached a point where I was like, man, how do I stop that from happening for a minute? And I just sort of was like, hey, buddy, what are you doing? What? Hey, James and I either get his attention. And I finally got his attention and he looked at me and I was like, yeah, okay, what are you doing? And why? And he just goes, I'm buying because I was like, you know what? He fucking, he answered me directly. I cannot fault him. He knows exactly what he's doing. And he's really committed to it. And so I've had a headache for about a week and a half. Um, but it's still pretty funny. But that one is way more unpleasant because he really does just scream a lot right now. It's fucking loud. But he's having a great time. So he's hard to complain. It's the Quetzal, Quetzal Kotlis, Northropi. It's a dinosaur bird. You know what? Quetzal Kotlis is? Wait, how did you know what that was? Because I know what the fucking Quetzal Kotlis is. Because it's a kind of dinosaur thing and James likes dinosaurs. I didn't know we had dinosaurs on this list. I'm not going to lie. I didn't either. As per you, we're going to start today with small talk. I want to go first this morning. James, son, one-year-old, had gymnastics. And I just want to say, baby gymnastics? Pretty wild. Very cute, though. Turns out one-year-olds are crazy. Like climbing on the walls, doing somersaults. Balance beam back flips. There were balance beams. I like they have the whole rage. There's a balance beam that just sits on the floor. Then there's one that's like six inches tall. And then there's one that's like four feet tall that looks super dangerous. It's fine. And there's rings and they do somersaults. And James ran face first into another child today. They clashed foreheads. They're fine. He was upset for a second. But then there were bubbles. Oh, he's fine. But anyway, I was one of four men in the entire building. And it was an interesting experience. One of the men worked at the place. One of the men was a dad who left because they were in the class before us. And then I think there was one other guy there. Wait, how big is this facility? Because four men in a place seems like a reasonable number of people. In the class before James's class, because they're separated into like age groups, there were probably 20-ish kids. And each kid has, each kid has an adult with them, right? So it's a kid and a parent. So there were like 40 people, 20 kids, 20 adults, all women, except for one one dude in that class. And yeah, so in James's class, there was maybe more like 15. What is the purpose of gymnastics at one year's old? I mean, it's not competitive, right? The point is you're teaching them how to walk around. It's a place where they can work on balance and motor skills. They learn things like how to do how to do summer solts, but you help them do summer solts. And so he's learning how to like control. He has to tuck his head. He has to stick his arms out. It's like, it's like helping develop motor skills in a more fun way. They just run around and run around and climb on stuff. How is your day or recent week or recent life as a you guys? Really funny today. James met Santa today. He did this last year, but he did not remember. And he was, he was kind of scared of Santa last year, which is pretty common for little kids. He was two years old this year, and we took him to meet Santa. And we were like standing outside of Santa's area. And it's like a hole. There's Christmas trees all around and it's decorated. We're standing outside and he's all Oh, Santa. Oh, oh, oh, Christmas tree. Christmas tree. He would not shut up. He's in a stage right now where he's super chatty. It's adorable. And then it was like our turn and we go through the line. We walk in and like he stands at the entry and we're like, it's Santa James. Go meet Santa. And he does that kid thing where he's like like two inches at a time. Wouldn't say it. Damn word. Walked up to the guy. It was he was a great Santa. The guy who was doing it. I mean, Santa was great. And he's like chatting and asking him questions. He had his zebra with him because he wouldn't put the zebra down today. He's like, Oh, you have a zebra. I love zebras. Maybe you can help me take here my reindeer. Oh, James was just like. And then it was time for the picture and we were like, go hug Santa. And he like did that thing where he didn't move his body, but he leaned in slightly closer to imply that he was like, hug. It was really cute. The pictures turned out pretty cute, but he was just it's he's you've met you both to met him. He's not particularly shy in general. But what he makes like people in costumes or strangers, he doesn't know who are, you know, but he knows from TV or whatever. It's a weird reaction. I can't tell if it's abject horror or he's just like, it's the celebrity I love from television. He's here. Oh, but it was very cute. We have pictures. So we're sending everybody pictures like a Christmas story whenever Santa like kicks the kid down the slide. Shoot your eye out, kid. As he seen that movie yet. No, there's no reason to fear Santa from the media. We've showed him. We did actually show him some of the Santa Claus. So maybe he thinks Santa is Tim Allen and he doesn't like him. It's an entirely reasonable. You walk into the North Pole and like, I mean, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, how in any brought you cookies, Wade? He did. Yeah, I was going to say James delivered cookies to me today. He was really sweet. He was like greeting me and he ran and came by and I forget what all words he said, but he said hello and he said bye-bye. He handed me the cookies and I was like, thank you. And she's like, say you're welcome. He's like, welcome. And it's like, oh, thanks. And then he put his hands out like, all right, I give him back. And I was like, oh, uh, this is awkward because I'm not gonna. They're also very good cookies, but no, it was sweet seeing him. I've been building stuff. I built a, I built a wardrobe. A hard wood wardrobe. I didn't cut the piece to see. It was, it came pretty, but I screwed it together. God, damn it. But also I built a thing. It's like a little tool organizer shelf thing that you're supposed to hang on the wall in the garage and like you put your drills in it and charging. I included James in it. James are almost two-year-old, uh, baby. And he loved it because mainly it was just screwing things together, which he could help with pretty easily. And he liked, he would put his hand on the drill and then I would knee and he'd be all, ha, because he thought that was the coolest thing ever. He put his hand on the drill. Like on the back, like on the safe part. Okay. Just like, I held the drill and he like put his hand on it and then I pulled the trigger and it vibrated and he thought it was cool. But we got like 90% of the way done and it turns out a shelf is just a baby-sized couch and he like literally the whole time he had been sitting on parts of it and standing on it. But then we got like 90% done and it's just a little him-sized like wooden bench thing and he just sat in it and was like, oh, you've built me a chair. Thanks, dad. So now we have a work pro branded tool chair holder baby set up in our living room that I don't know if I'm ever going to get back. It was very fun. James is coming into a big dad era, which is fun because I feel like he was kind of all about mom for a long time. But now we're doing stuff. We're building things. Well, the toys they have for kids that are, you know, workshop based. They have that cardboard router table where you push the cardboard through. Oh, those are cool. We're getting one of those so bad once he's old enough. Those look awesome. Yeah. Dude, me too at the sleep deprived. Yeah. Why you? James is going through a growth spurt and is having growing pains. And so instead of sleeping, he just cried all night. I also feel sleep deprived. What important thing are you doing? We have dogs that have decided that their schedules are no longer to sleep at night. Their job is to go to sleep and nighttime, they're like, all right, Paul, we'll take a nap for like an hour. You know what it sounds like is you actually have a couple of outside dogs. Oh, you know, I really not that much. I'm still sick. I made James' life. I had to clean the hot tub and it got really hot. And so I was like, I emptied it, but then I didn't clean it. Then I filled it back up and James loves it. So now we don't have a hot tub. We have the world's smallest pool. His kids aren't supposed to go in hot tub. It's not good for them because they're tiny. So we just keep it at like 90 degrees or whatever. Some like warm pool temperature. It's the fucking it's the best thing he's ever experienced. Kid loves just going under the water, falling down, scaring his parents, thinking he's going to drown, coming back up, laughing about it, you know, kid stuff. You made James alive. That is true. That's true in at least two ways. You'd think that would be worth two points, but it's not. James is counting now. He could count the numbers one, two, and five, but he does them correctly. If you count one, two, three, four, five, he'll be all one, two, five. So he knows. Wow, he really does. He's just working on he's working on getting the other ones in there in the mouth situation. Can't quite do with a three and a four. Those are tough. It's getting closer though. Three I could see being tough. Four seems like it'd be the same as five to me. Listen, you wouldn't understand how toddlers work and it's well, actually of the three of us, he might understand the most toddlers actually function. Think it's true. That's true. Four, five, four, four, four. Let me say, four, four, ours are hard too. One, two, three, four, five, one, two, three, four, five. It's a really hard number. Are we on teaching weight? How to say numbers now? Is this what they call unschooling? Three, four, one, two, three, five. I enjoy that. Give yourself some points. Look, I got a new ring. Wow. James gave it to me for Father's Day. This is my father's. How the hell is he shopping? That's crazy. He's very sophisticated. He's like four years old mentally, even though he's only eight months old physically. That's pretty impressive. He's made from a whiskey barrel. It's very cool. Whoa, that's a small barrel. I turn invisible when I do this. Where did I go? Whoa, that I can see. He's back. I can only get this great content on Spotify. Yeah. Sometimes when I'm playing with James, I'll pretend to throw something and then actually I didn't throw it and he hasn't figured out yet that I do that and so I'll just mess with him and be like, let's throw the ball to you. And then he freaks out for a second because he's like, what the fuck? And I'm pretty sure I convinced him I'm some kind of wizard. I do that with the dog sometimes. So I'm gonna say a log I can keep that going. Lexi's worked that out. Lexi is no longer fooled by that one. I've done it too many times, but James is still figuring it out. So that's pretty conniving, right? That's very conniving. You know, I just don't need anyone knowing that I poop. I just don't need people knowing that. I got a book. I think you should read Mark. It's going to really change your life. Crazy caterpillar. It's called Everybody Poops. Oh, oh. And James is reading it a lot right now. Just check it out. I've seen that book. That book is fucking disgusting. It grows as a book. I've ever seen a potty trading. Potty trading in general. Like, I don't know what I thought it was going to be, but it's it's more concerning that I expected. Like one method of potty training is your baby doesn't wear pants now. Your baby is just full, Winnie the Pooh. And if and when they start peeing or pooping while you're just doing like every day life, like you're in the living room and they just start going, you just pick them up and run to the bathroom and be like, in the toilet, in the toilet, in the toilet. That's so terrifying. It's a technique that I'm not going to do. And then like, James is interested in the toilet now. And the other day, I was like, oh, dad needs to go to the bathroom. Hang on. And Mandy was like, oh, maybe James wants to see how the bathroom works. And I was like, oh, I don't want to see that. That doesn't sound good. And I thought about it. And I was like, no, that's actually what I'm supposed to do. Isn't it? I'm just to bring my son into the toilet so we can talk about how toilets work. And I can, it's, I don't like, it's concerning. It's good that he'll be able to use a toilet at the end of it. But all the rest of the end between parts, I never thought all the way through how that works. And I don't care for it. Make it less concerning. Get one of those things they use to bypass drug tests, the wizzinator. And you can use that to demonstrate. Interesting. That sounds worth it probably. So I've been, I got a thing off of Facebook Marketplace as per how it usually goes. It's either a drug deal in a parking lot or someone leaves on their porch and you talk to $20 under the, the mat, right? It was one of those. This was one of those. They were like, it was a, it was a thing for James. It was a little toy thing. He was getting in really into hot wheels. It was not a valuable thing. And this lady was like, I'll just leave it on the front porch. I'm really busy today. And I was like, that's totally fine. I'll just swing by and get it sometime this morning. I'm also busy. That was the agreement. And I was just going to stick 20 bucks under the mat. And I got to the house. They addressed that she sent me and I saw the thing sitting on the front porch. But it was at the house, which was down a very long driveway, which was filled with several children riding their bikes up and down the driveway. So I pulled up and I was like, I don't really want to carry this. I don't want to walk up the whole driveway. I'll see if I can pull. So I sort of pulled up toward the driveway and was like, soft waiting to see if the kids would get out of the way. And they looked at me. And we're kind of like, and they went up towards the garage of the house like they were going to run away. And I pulled very menacingly and slowly up the driveway the whole time the kids were increasingly concerned like, well, he's actually coming. Oh God. What did mom say about strangers? Wait a second. Hey God, there's something we're supposed to do here. And I literally like, I got up there. I parked and I got out of the car with like my hands up like an officer was was detaining me. And I was like, no, it's okay. I'm buying the thing from your mom. Kids, the thing on the porch, did she tell you? And they were like, oh, yeah, she totally said a guy in a car was going to be here this morning to pick up the, that's cool. You're cool, dude. You're cool. But that wasn't, it was not cool. They were clearly freaked out. And they like ran away inside. And I just went up to the porch and was like, it took the thing ran away. I'll sketch you like, it was really awkward. I don't know if I've ever done a face of marketplace deal that didn't end in some level of awkwardness. But that one felt bad because it was kids didn't see the adult didn't get close to the kids barely said a couple senses to them, but they were definitely freaked all the way out. And I still feel kind of bad about it. I was hoping they all would come up just make you or something. But James loves that toy. That's his new favorite toy. So worth it. Do what you got to do. Yeah, that makes sense. All right, yeah, scares children. But hey, if it's for your own child, scare all the children in the world. Yeah, I scare all the other children moving. God, I fucking hate moving. You're moving. Yeah, I don't know if you could see. Remember how all these shelves used to have shit all over them? This I can only hope will be the last time I ever move for the rest of my life. Damn, we'll see if that holds up because I'm pretty sure I said something like that when we move to this place. But we are moving. The movers will be here in less than 48 hours. I will say this area like my desk is covered in all the same. I haven't packed it all. This is the least packed part of the entire house. All the rest of our houses in like boxes and shit, but we have been hard core pretty much most of the day every day since Saturday and today is Tuesday, moving, packing, carrying heavy shit up and down stairs. I fell on the stairs one time, totally fine, survived. But the movers actually show up and then will be moved over. Honestly, as much as I despise moving, this is lame because I always do this and circle it back to being a dad now that I'm a dad. But the most concerning part of all this for me is I'm curious how James is going to handle it, right? We've already moved once, but he was like a baby when we moved. We moved from California back to Ohio to be closer to our parents when he was like 10 months old, which was tricky because 10 months old are tricky. But this is different now, right? He's old enough now where like his room is his room. He knows that that's his bed. That's his bookshelf. This is his, we're like packing up his belongings and they're disappearing and he's kind of like, hey, didn't that bookshelf? Wouldn't that full of books? We're not all my books go and it's like, he's being really. Cool so far, but I'm curious the first night like we're gonna sleep in this house tomorrow night and then the next night We're gonna sleep in the other house and his bed is gonna be in a new room and it's gonna be a smell different And I just don't know how it's gonna go. He might be totally fine He's really chilly likes traveling. He loves staying in hotels and stuff. We've done that a couple times But I'm worried that it's gonna be hard on him because he is so young It's hard to express how he's feeling or understand exactly how he's feeling and moving is weird and moving is difficult So it sucks and I hate packing, but the main thing on my mind is James because I'm really curious and just want to make sure he does okay Because it's a big change for a little kid who doesn't necessarily understand While his shit is all moved around and not where it's supposed to be anymore, but It'll be over soon said for getting about the three months of unpacking that always follows and move from house to house Are you like in a safe house or are you hiding from the government or is it actually vacation? It's vacation. This is this is a big family vacation It's like we're near the beach and James saw the ocean for the first time a couple days ago and he loves it He has no fear whatsoever We were literally like he might not like it It's big and scary and we walked him out onto the beach and we're like look It was the ocean and for half a second he was kind of like What the fuck strong with that pool and then he was like I'm going in and ran into the ocean at full speed and he does not Know what fear means. That's terrifying. He wants to go swim with the sharks meet Aquaman and all that stuff Some family memories terrifying, but fun. I want Mark to babysit him at the beach now with Mark's love of the ocean and James Fear of the ocean. I think that was too combined. This is a winning combination. Don't worry about a thing Bob Go to sleep. Here's an slumber James James gets into the three inch deep edge of the ocean and Mark is like he's gone Everything's good. James is real funny these days. He started music classes this week. I want a good time with that What what is he doing in music class? Like it they give him drumsticks or something? Yeah, it's a toddler music class. So it's like Triangle hit the triangle Shakers they had to get a banana that he was shaking hitting hitting and scraping and shaking Is the gist of it and like play like they did the big parachute where you we once it's in a circle or a That's our stuff, but fun stuff. I'm sure listeners can tell I sound a little sick because I am I'm gonna talk about the baby So anyone who paints that. Sorry, then the last week we have had possibly the worst the night with James and also Three of the best nights of sleep with him like since he was born. So it's been a really weird mix of stuff He's teething right now and he has like three molars coming in all at the same time Which is incredibly painful and so there was one night he could not exist without just screaming because it was like agony Like constant agony didn't sleep the whole night It was his him it was during to do anything to keep him from just screaming in pain But then three other nights around that he has slept for like eight straight hours without waking up or anything Which is not he usually wakes up at least a couple times in it. He slept like he was a rock and it's been weird Because those have been fantastic nights, but also I've been sick so that didn't help me sleep very much But then the one night where he literally just didn't sleep It was just absolute chaos and ruin the next week of everything because my schedule was all off He was crazy. We didn't sleep So anyway, we're in a we're in a wild time with the baby right now, but it's cute He's starting to talk he knows what sound the horse makes. Oh, if you if you look at him you go James What sound does a horse make he goes? No It's amazing. It's very cute. Oh, that's cute. Wait when did he when did he say his first words? Well, he's been saying like mama and dad F Nine or ten months he started really saying stuff, but in before the new year He was talking and saying some stuff, but like he's his his speech is about to explode He's going to start talking saying all kinds of stuff A win goes in marks column of wins, but he doesn't win the episode. We spin again. There's a lot of different things on this wheel. Yeah, that's quite a few James wins James gets a win in his column. All right, that's pretty good But it takes a village to raise a baby so each of the three of us loses a win That we sacrifice to give James a win. I feel like he's basically a part of me So like I get his win probably. I know you should lose more than one, but I was trying to be fair. It's like a it's like a celebrity. He's like my celebrity child, right? I hold his win until he's old enough to use it responsibly Yeah, but it's like in the bank gaining interest so you can't really do anything with it Yeah, in my bank gaining my interest You can feel about how you will, but it's James win and we all three lose a win for him to get one There's a super moon yesterday and and apparently tonight as well And like a very very slight eclipse of it as well Oh man James is saying a three-word sentence is now Whoa It's kind of one three-word sentence, but like I'm not trying to undercut his achievements But he, we were going to bed two nights ago we were going to bed And I was laying next to him trying to settle in And he just looks at me and he goes I see daddy Oh, that's like what? And apparently no one has no one has been teaching him this I think he watched he does watch Miss Rachel on YouTube Which is like a very popular kids YouTube thing I think she does that, but like no one of us people and his real people in his real life were teaching him that He just started doing it And then now he's like I see doggy I see moon He really like the moon last night as it's big So like I don't know where that's pretty fun I'm glad he's listening to real people not like Miss Rachel Points are at stake James takes man poops James is my baby he takes man poops Like steals them or has big poops Some of his poops smell like baby poops Which is not one singular smell But there's like a vibe that baby poops give off Like puppy breath Some of his poops smell like a full grown man Took a dump into a baby's diaper It's horrific Have you ever pranked him and taken a poop in his diaper Then tried to frame him for it Once but I got caught I want to go on the record and say I've never stolen any poop in my life There's no poop stealing, there's poop giving The sneaky, sneaky giving away of poop mark No, never done that either It's like whenever you're stealthing in Skyrim or something And you try to place a poop on someone's person to frame them as the pooper Like when they're sitting on the toilet When is this occurring? You stealth up behind them and then you equip poop in your left hand And then you clap your left hand on their back So you smear the poop and kill Like the yarls giving his big speech about the dragons And you're like poopy The trick is you put a bucket on their head first And then you can cover him in all the poop you I don't want to talk about that James is talking a lot Uh, he's good Honestly, he's been sleeping pretty good this week and stuff So like, I think the biggest thing is he's getting stronger Uh oh He's getting stronger but he's not getting better about understanding what violence is So it's not really his fault It was, this was not even that recently Just, it weighed suffering or mine in me of this I guess We took him to an event And he got like a, he got like a toy at this event Basically it was a dump truck toy And he loves dump trucks We made the mistake of he got that right at the start Like we got there, went to the first area He got that immediately He did not have any interest in doing any of the rest of this whole event We were at where you could like sit in a helicopter And look at it was like trucks and things It was very cool It was like emergency vehicles, fire truck He had his little dump truck toy And we were like, look buddy, let's get in line You could sit in a tractor And you can, and you can sit in this Medevac helicopter Doesn't look at all this stuff, I was, I was holding him And I was like, I'm gonna take this toy And we're gonna go get a picture of you sitting on a tractor And I took the, I grabbed the toy And I pulled it and he was kind of like, yeah But and I was like, nah, we'll, I'll give it back Like, I took the thing, I got it away from him And he full body, full length of his arm, wheeled back And like, right on like my cheekbone Perfectly solid contact He smacked the shit out of me And even, I was there with Manny and Rin, friend, Rin Like, even they, he did that and they were like, whoa Are you okay? Like, yeah, that was a real man smack He's very strong and he kicks and smacks But way above his way class Damn That's not exactly surgery But did he laugh afterwards? Did he like, he was very unhappy He did that and was like, kill you I know where you sleep He takes like a bottle off the table, breaks it, like holds it at you I can climb stairs now Yeah, no, he's a, it's wild It's talking more though now He learned in the last couple days, he's learned how to fake sneeze So now, I don't know where he'll just be all *Growling* *Growling* Too! It's really cute He's like, what a year and a half now is that right? Uh, 17 months That's basically like a year and a half This is not even the bad, isn't like, when they turn two, doesn't something terrible happen? He's, he's getting into the terrible twos type stuff It's, it's more like terrible toddlers Cause they're learning how to regulate their emotions And they're able to do more stuff physically But they're not aware of what they're doing over So yeah, he, he's, this is like He's getting into the terrible, quote, terrible twos behaviors Can't wait till he's a terrific teen He's gonna be just the best No more problems Gonna be smooth sailing once he gets past, too Tell you what Nice, excellent Anyway, I'm gonna finish James' table someday It's a six-month project, really And I'm only two months in So yeah, I kind of a lot of time There'll be like in college, his third year of college, but like James I'm working on this your whole life, it's finally ready It's like a Fisher Price sized like table I'm gonna have to cut some parts out if I want to get it done done by then, but I think I can make it happen. - Cool, chain souls and bears. - No, I don't have a chain soul, I'm gonna keep bringing that up. - Sorry. - I try to think if there's something that happened to me, but mainly the thing is, James sleeps by himself this week? - I don't know if it's gonna last, but. - Oh my God, we're making progress on the sleep training and it's a miracle. - He's so big now, he's like so human and runs around and stuff. Whenever you guys came over to watch the football game, it was wild. - No, he's a menace. He's smart enough now to really cause problems and really do some dangerous shit and he loves it. He's good though, his speech is developed. He's suing three word sentences now. He's working on more. - He was sweet. It was really awesome having him and Milo over. It's wild, seeing like the progressions of baby. - Yeah, Milo, Milo compared to James was a crazy reminder of how far he's gone. 'Cause Milo, for anyone who doesn't know Milo, is Patrick Staddick's child and is six months younger than James, I think, not that far apart, but also basically two entirely different creatures because the development in that time is crazy. - In the first few years, six months is a long time. - That's true, it's still like an over quarter of his life and it's a third of Milo's life, I guess, so. That's a lot. - I was like, man, oh man, I don't know how y'all can keep up 'cause he's fast too. - Yeah, he's very fast. You know when he's real fast? - When he sees the ocean. - I think I talked about this, but man, is he fast when he decides he's going into the ocean? - James is kind of walking now, not on his own, but he has a little thing that he pushes, that he holds onto, he can walk around with that. - Is he already that age where he's supposed to be walking around? - He's a little bit ahead of the game on that one, but yeah, that's kind of, he's in that area. He sees nine months, around a year is when I think by understanding as a lot of babies will start to stand up on the, like lean on the couch and scoot around or you have a little walky thing and walk around. So yeah, he's sitting there. - That feels like in my brain, one of the most dangerous times for children is when I first start to walk and they're like stumbling around everywhere. - It's very dangerous. He's already taken a couple pretty good spills, but he'll learn from the pain. - Hmm, we all do. - But he will, he'll eventually learn from that. We'll get there. - James walks now. I think I've mentioned before. - I was like, who is that? It's your baby, I know I've met. - We have a baby. His name is James, he've definitely met him a few times. He walks now. He doesn't walk more than four or five steps at a time, but he has his walking and it's terrifying. He also climbed up the stairs. He did not walk up the stairs, but he climbed up the stairs with a person behind him making sure he didn't fall and die, but he did it by himself for the first time. Everything's in peril and all the child proofing we've done is pointless. - This is, I don't know if I talked about this on the show previously, but James, splash tables, I think is what they're, I don't know. It's like a little table you fill it up with water and he plays in it, right? It's just like you play with toys in it, whatever. It's really good summer toy 'cause it's like, it's not just running a sprinkler. It's like a set amount of water so you don't just, you know, blast water every witch away. And last summer he got one of those and I looked at it and I was like, you know what would be really sick? There's like a top and a bottom. And if you put, if you pour water in the top, it like rains and it's really fun, so you have to physically like take a bucket and pour it and I was like, what if I buy, what if I get like a, like an aquarium pump and I'll feed a hose up to the top and I'll set the pump in the bottom and then it'll like, cycle the water. So it's always right and I did all this research and I bought one thing off the internet and it didn't work and I bought another thing off the internet and it didn't work for other reasons and it was all that like literally my setup would be like, I have an external battery pack with like a USB cord running to the pump into water. It's all just the sketchiest shit. And I was like, I spent a lot of time trying to home through this thing, never quite worked right. Eventually I just gave up and whatever. On the internet yesterday, I was presented with an ad for exactly that product made in the simplest most concise way possible. It's just a thing, you drill one hole, you set and I looked and I was like, this costs less than one of my multiple attempts at doing it myself did. Son of a bitch. But anyway, I bought one. So James is going to have the dopest water table to play on this summer and I'm pretty excited about it. That's cool. Well, so I'm an idiot and I can't ever, I always am like, I'll just do it, I'll make it myself. I'll home brew it. Now I should probably just buy it. Whatever I'm going to make, it's either not going to work or it's going to be so fucking terrible that I just forced to wish I would have bought it. Wouldn't want to put your child in the way of that. Like it works, but the whole water table's electrified somehow, even though I don't know. Maybe I should just let a company hold onto that liability for me. You know what power makes me think of and the thing that I'm obsessed about right now? Power. Wheels. This is the little racing curse. It's yeah, it's like the cars that little kids can sit in. Oh, the drivable ones. I was thinking of hot wheels, right? Yeah, not hot wheels, power wheels. It's like the little, it's like a little Jeep or something that little kids can sit in and drive around the yard. I was never allowed to have power wheels as a kid and I don't want to spoil James, but man, do I want him to be old enough to have a power wheels? I mean, this part, I did TikTok update. There were people on the summer that say they missed TikTok updates. TikTok update, kind of. I mean, this part of TikTok where, look at all these dads who are customizing their power wheels for their kids because most power wheels are six volt, based on six volt battery systems, but if you put a 12 volt battery in there, you double the power. You might fry the engine or the electric motor, but it goes twice as fastish. It goes faster. And you can do, then there are guys who like add a trailer so their kids can like tow, you know, a little fake motorcycle or tow like yard waste or all this stuff. And it was one where I saw a guy put like a backhoe type thing on the front so you could like rake leaves but use your power wheels, all kinds of stuff. - Giving you a point for child labor. - Yeah. - Have I told you guys about James, the fart story with James? - We farted in a movie theater in Oppenheimer and everyone laughed. - I wish he did. He probably would think of that. He's very funny. - No, so we have this place we drive frequently where there's rumble strips on the road, which is that thing where you're driving and you drive over it and goes, "Mm-hmm." We drive over there all the time and we were driving there with James in the back seat and we went over the rumble strips and out of nowhere and he's never said it before, at least to me, really. Out of nowhere, he just goes, "Huh." Farts. 'Cause the rumble strip fucking sounds like farts. Anyway, he's hilarious. He's gonna be the funniest kid I know. - Oh, no, it's funny to me, but like he'll be second. - Well, you're not a kid, so you're kind of in a different class. - All right. - You're not the funniest adult I know either, but don't be offended. I know a lot of adults. - You could say that it's just not true. James is hilarious. Also, he calls the movie Sing Dance Animals and that's his current favorite move. - Pretty accurate. Is he like getting old enough now where he's branching out of a lot of like the baby-esque shows like the Blueies and stuff or? - He still enjoys Bluey. He still enjoys, the thing right now is animals. Everyone is constantly surprised. It's, 'cause we're like, "Oh, he loves animals. He loves animals." And people were like, "Oh, you like horses?" You're like, "No." He knows what a yak is. He knows what a flamingo is. He can't quite say it, but he knows what a hyena is. He knows probably a few dozen animals in total and in the all day every day is. Why animals? Why animals? And it means a lot of different things 'cause it could mean he wants to watch a video of animals, could mean he wants to stuff to animals, but he's an interesting place. Very smart. He likes to enact animals eating each other. He'll get like a bear and a giraffe and then the bear will be chasing the giraffe, trying to bite it and it will succeed at some point and he's literally just running around like, "Oh no, oh no!" "Oh no, oh no!" Or he'll stage like accidents. He has like trains and stuff. He'll put an animal in front of the train on the track and then just slowly like, "Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy." "Oh no!" "Ah, you shot it!" He, it's, that's probably good, right? I mean, I guess it's better than taking like Barbie dolls or like army dudes and being like, "Oh no!" (barking) At least they're animals. They don't have souls. James has learned that he could scream real loud, so that's fun. I've never been made dizzy by a scream before, but that can happen now. Last night we were getting ready for bed and he was like, he gets two books and then we go to bed and it's like, "Oh, we have a whole routine." And we got to the, I think to the end of the second book and like, close the book and man, he was like, "Okay, put the book on the shelf and we're gonna do this." And he just was like, "No, no, more stories." And we're like, "No, man, it's bedtime. This is, we do this every night. This is the routine." And he did that sort of like, there was shake of rage and then proceeded to scream louder than anything has ever been in human existence. And I actually like, it made my head vibrate and when he stopped screaming, I was kind of like, "Ah, ah, ah, ah." So I never had that before, but I'm sure that he'll only do that the one time and that's not gonna be all day, every day for the next three weeks of my life. - How do you stop that weight, bad advice? - Uh, what you do is you give him a megaphone so he can be even louder to the point where he makes himself paralyzed from the noise. - You're right, you're right, there we go, yep. - You give him headphones and a microphone and make him scream into his own ears. - You know how homelander went up to that one superhero and went dwing on the sides of the head and then made him deaf, now that he'd scream louder and this is horrible advice. - Put him in a bit of a stupor, stupor here, who she did there. Yeah, I should definitely do whatever homelander does. He's a good guy, right? He's a father. - I haven't watched the show. I haven't watched the show. He's like the Superman character in that universe, right? He's a good guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is America. - Yeah, he is America. - Yeah, and he's a father. He's raising a child. - I think his first act as a father was to throw his son off of like a roof or something, wasn't it? Spoilers? - I don't even. - Yeah, kids did now. - Spoilers. - James has entered a new era, which I have not named yet, but I'm gonna just say that it's very destructive and it's mainly of his own self. He's entering a Marcaira, really. Let's call it that. - Okay, you're right. - I sort of hope eventually he'd gain like a fear of getting hurt because he's not afraid of anything. He'll just like climb up on the back of the couch and you know, like he could fall and break his neck and he just does stuff like that. And he has started falling off of things now. He started falling down. He fell off the back steps on the patio because he just wasn't looking and ran off the steps. He keeps doing that, but he doesn't act like he gets hurt. Like he falls, he fell onto his face. He missed this last step, fell onto his face off the back deck onto a concrete patio and we were like, oh, oh, and he just stood up and was like, I thought kids cried a lot. He does cry when he gets, when he like hurts himself sometimes, but when he really eats it, nothing. He doesn't get scared, he's just like, oh, that's cool. And then just good news is like, he's just gonna keep doing crazier and crazier shit. He's not learning to be afraid for his safety at all. He's like the next evil, con evil. I don't know. It seems bad, but also he's like, he's fine. Like he's getting scraped up. But otherwise, he's fine. I mean, I trust him. He's doing a half now. Pretty trustworthy guy. It feels like a cop out, I guess, but I'm excited for more James. I feel like, I mean, we have fun, he's been fun. It's not like he's been unfund up to this point, but it's been tough. We moved from California back to Ohio and then we just moved it again and like he's handled it like a trooper, but it just throws off all your routines and it makes it really hard to like really get in and do all the fun stuff because there's no time for shit. It's like, it gets to be evening time and we're like, okay, buddy, let's do something fun. You want to bring boxes back and forth between houses? You can hold the door open and be a little help. Be a little door stop. Hey, he likes it. But like I'm excited for another year, like a new year where he's going to be older. He's talking a ton and we're like, we're going to start doing stuff, I think together this year that's a little more complicated and fun and I'm also, I think personally, I'm excited to put more tools on things. I got to do a good stretch there when I had the Subaru where I was like working on the car and I was doing stuff with my hands and that was really fun. And then I got rid of the Subaru and I lost that completely. I want to get back to like, I'm excited to work on stuff. And one of the things on this new house that was such a big selling point for me is I have a huge garage and I have like a work, a dedicated like workshop area. It's just a little side part of the garage but I have like a work bench and a toolbox and I can like have projects where I don't have to pull the cars out of the garage to work on them and then clean it back up and pull the cars back into the garage. Every time I'm, it's like, I have an area. I can just have a little project. If I have a glue up, it can just sit somewhere and dry in clamps and then I don't have to, like I'm excited and James is getting the age where he's going to be able to help me do that. Maybe we'll build a bird house or, you know, who knows what, but like, that's awesome. That sort of stuff. - Hey, baby. - Hey, guys, I have a baby. - Oh, wow. Is this his first appearance on the podcast? I think it is. - Baby, how are you doing this there? Who's supposed to be taking a nap? Who's not right now? Well, this is interesting. - I'm assuming this means he's being a problem. - That's not busy, sit him in there. Clock the door. - How could it possibly be a problem? - No, no. - Whoa, hey, now we're here and we're still in the same episode. - Watch new episodes on Spotify. [BLANK_AUDIO]