Best of "Guam" (Compilation)

Shop Black Friday Appliance Savings and get up to an extra $1,250 off select appliance purchases, like GE Profile. Plus, free delivery on appliance purchases of $398 or more. Make life easier with the fridge that doubles as your personal kitchen assistant. Or upgrade your laundry room with the ultra-fresh Vent System Plus Front Load Washer, so your clothes stay fresh after every single wash. Shop Black Friday Appliance Savings with fast, free delivery at The Home Depot. Offer valid November 4th through December 2nd at participating stores and at homedepot.com. U.S. only. See store online for details. Progressive's Accident Response can contact emergency services if you're in a major accident. The only thing worse than someone you love being in an accident is not being able to help them. So Progressive is here to help when you can't. So get peace of mind knowing your loved ones are protected with Progressive's Accident Response. Learn more at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Limited Availability in California. Driver is responsible for emergency and towing charges not covered by the policy. Coverage subject to policy terms and conditions. Have you ever wondered how movements start? I'm Ashley C. Ford, host of Into the Mix, a Ben & Jerry's podcast about joy and justice. This season, we're talking to unexpected progressive heroes who found purpose in unexpected places. People like Marley Diaz, making sure every kid sees themselves in books. Kyle Mesteth, a native skateboarder building a movement for kids nationwide. Joy Aladakun, whose music moves from protests to daily commute. Find out how they started something bigger than themselves. And listen wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Distractible is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test. So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ookla Speed Test. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved. Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! Guam! I'm here in Guam. What are you doing right now? Because I'm stupid. Yeah, I agree. I'm getting out of here. Let's leave. You and me, Wade. Three, two, one. Whoever leaves first wins. Wade is clearly right there. Neither of you left. Editors, send me to Guam! What's Guam look like? I'm in Guam! Put me in Guam. Put me in Guam! I have no idea what that. Why do you look like you're underwater? I don't think Guam is underwater. Put me in Guam! Look at all this Guam! Is that offensive? No idea, probably. I feel offended. You know, to be fair to Mark, I looked up Guam and the first image was a beach. Oh, pretty close. Guam is a U.S. island territory in Micronesia. Because I know there's a military, a lot of military presence. And John, who was on an aircraft carrier, they would dock there. And that's actually where he spent all of COVID. Oh, these guys are. They know the future. Guam's World War Three significance. Oh, wait, that's two. I can read. Wait, no, read that article. It was there for a blip. Yeah, you got to remember it. Guam's World War Three significance is on view and coming soon. Oh, God, I made that last part up. Oh, I thought it was not a boob. North American boobs. Woo! Yeah! American boob! Editors, black out his camera for a little bit. No, I was going to say editors. Snip that out and send it to Molly. American boobs! Woo! Molly, let me feed. Yeah, OK, now black screen, black out Wade. And Mark and I will just talk for a minute. Fade me out. Fade me out. All right, perfect. That'll be worth it. All right. Anyway, so, Bob, listeners, there's nothing you're missing. I swear to God, there's no reason to be any kind of upset. Wade, your shoulder is still in shot. Wade, you can come back now. There he is, that was cool, all right. Well, you can't tell because I just finished a level, but I was playing flow free. You know, this is a bridges one where you go over and under the bridges. What is that? Are you sponsored by these mobile games? Like, I don't know. No, they don't like me. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractable, where I am here. Keep camera one on me, on me. And are my co-hosts are here. They've been here this whole time. Uh. I was here. I never left frame. I was just turning on my beautiful light. To be fair, I didn't know what you were doing, so I was covered for you. Guess who's in Guam? Me? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Editors, wait! It's like a lifetime license. It's like, yeah. So over my entire life, I would have probably never use all the sounds in there, but man, I got to get it this time. Could just start putting extra sounds into videos and stuff just because you got them. Yeah, I mean, that's basically what we do in YouTube. And here on editors, hit them with all your sound effects. Oh, wow. Easy there. Now my fade out sound. I don't think. Now my fade in sound. A bunch of guys. More than two. There he goes. Oh, wow. I'm glad he's gone. I hope he never comes back. I don't think Mark has gotten more than a quarter of a sentence out of his mouth without Wade just jumping in on something. A bunch of dudes who before the FDA was the FDA spent years and I mean years eating food with a bunch of things that they thought was deadly, but they didn't know for sure any kind of chain, any amount, any configuration. And those things can do random ass things to biology. And who knows what they can do? They could do nothing. Most of them. Just do nothing because your body just, like, doesn't even interface with it and purge it. So F.E. could be. Oh, no. Bob, did you get that one? F.E. is iron. Oh, no. I'm saying it's bad if you I don't know. I don't know. Wade, Wade disappear for a second. I need to talk to Bob. Disappear for a second. Peace off for a second. So Bob, was that a smart joke that he made or was it? I think the concept was good, but then he the punch line was. Confusing. It's still funny to me. I'm so glad that's staying through the whole episode. You reach this apex where somehow you have found success and you have money. My God, that's me. Now Bob's gone. Editors, can you make the whole tub just blow up? Our highest produced episode ever now that you're done working on iron. We need the full editing team to blow up Mark's bathtub. Get an M-80, get a green screen, go in your backyard, film a practical explosion for our our cinematic experience of a podcast. Listen, viewers, you're not our listeners. You're not missing anything this episode. There's nothing you need to be watching for. There's nothing. Oh, wait. If you only guess within the 21st century, that'll probably help Mark a lot. Probably. It's like me trying to stay in Russia whenever we were playing that other game. That's true. I don't know how many times I told you it was all in the U.S. Yep. Put me in Guam. Oh, that was funny. I love that short. How's it going, everyone? Boys are back. Welcome to another episode of Distractable. Yay. I'm today's host, Wade, joined by Mark and Bob, who also faded in with me. How are you guys doing? Good! I was trying to match the energy. Was that not the energy? I'm stupendous. That's good. Anything new? I might explode. Oh, I will give you 10 points if you explode randomly on camera. I don't know if edited in counts. Editors, can you make that bath, that bathtub markings to be an explode again? This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. You already know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month. But here's something new worth noting. T-Mobile now has the fastest 5G home Internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speedtest. No, seriously, their 5G home Internet speeds are officially the fastest, which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know. And yeah, it is still a great value. Backed by a five year price guarantee, so your bill doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention. So if you want the fastest 5G home Internet with a simple setup and savings that actually stick, head over to t-mobile.com/homeinternet to check availability today. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on Ookla Speedtest intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved. Let me explain it to you in words, in a way you can understand. Editors, like, help me out with this one. Pretend my head is your car. Editors, now delete my head. Boo. That's your car. Well, I think I think the tweet was right. Wade's car is in the ocean. Editors, put Mark's head in the ocean. Look at all the Guam. Put me in Guam. I don't know where it is. This is, you know, that thing that Mark was using to keep track of points. It's an ink writing tablet thingy. And there's a little marker on the side. This is the one that has color, obviously, yellow. Also, I don't know what I just flashed on there. Editors, make sure it's horror. put it in guam uh you influenced me and it's awesome anyway whatever shut up shut up shut up the both of you i'm not living i'm agreeing with you mark you're right shut up shut up i'm not living any younger wait disappear anyway that was my car buying experience it was fine it looks really smooth uh-huh so we know this never happened okay because that's not how you got your car it was on a boat that sank you swam down to get it out and you drove it out from atlantis i thought it was on a boat that sank thankfully it was not and someone on the subreddit will provide a picture that is just as realistic as yours of this occurrence that i'm describing so we won't know what to believe hmm subreddit get on that defend me i've never said that before in my life i don't know if you have specifically subreddit defend me maybe you haven't said yeah subreddit defend me subreddit re-drown me subreddit put wade's car in guam it's a convertible all the guam's getting in it probably was probably was guam isn't guam a place i think a guacamole which one's which oh same thing sorry guam guam's gonna be real pissed when they hear this he called us guacamole wade called you guacamole just to be clear hey actually look listen we don't have to oh okay hang on okay it's the next one after this current episode i almost got hand shuck i wasn't listening i didn't hear none of that bob you want to do a deal all right yeah mark mark's gone let's make a handshake deal editors peace mark out fade him out oh no yeah adam savage is a bastard and having tools with an arm reach is dumb and also a little beta behavior let's be honest yeah yeah pretty much adam we know you're a big fan of this show i'm sorry well we're not a big fan of you get out uh well i don't know hey i'm not with him we all speak for each other here editors put him on an island because he's alone put him in guam i'm here in guam i've so they said why guam was the ocean it's fine it's not important it's fine the lost city of guam also known as atlantis apparently i have a counterpoint oh yeah shop black friday appliance savings and get up to an extra 1250 off select appliance purchases like ge profile plus free delivery on appliance purchases of 398 or more make life easier with the fridge that doubles as your personal kitchen assistant or upgrade your laundry room with the ultra fresh vent system plus front load washer so your clothes stay fresh after every single wash shop black friday appliance savings with fast free delivery at the home depot offer valid november 4th through december 2nd at participating stores and at homedepot.com us only c store online for details i guess i should be going like this oh no i should not do this towards myself i want to throw this out there what the fuck why do you have a knife oh hi wade you missed out on a lot i clearly did a knife fight right now uh well don't worry it won't matter because i'm the only one who matters here is the host uh editors put wade between us my left mark's right don't do it there's points on the line you wouldn't you shouldn't wait are we stabbing the cricket should i stab this way everywhere in all directions get him it's all me always has been i'm cutting myself out of this podcast i'm going to guam bonk i just did my office i didn't go to guam thought you guys could get away fire if i say warmer it'll misguide you so i'll say colder oh fire is clearly hot you idiot god you got me you're right you're fucking editors kill me editors kill them in guam i wish i had time for games one day you'll be your own boss and you can do what you want to do i hope so it's almost done though right yeah actually i like how people on the subreddit of my subreddit are just sometimes like if it's almost done like he says well like what am i do what do they think i'm doing jerking off in cancun it's guam let's go for a walk boys oh man i went early he's gonna know how to he's gonna know how to beat this yeah look like here's my hobbit hole keep it up mark he'll eventually be able to beat this play what'd you hang on i'll catch on hang on wait do it again you don't get to see what i got i already i already rolled oh he played eeny meeny miny moe but with rock paper and scissors it looks like track this editors peace me out paper you win i'm gonna put on the wheel up preemptively mentioned mark's height the most i'm winning wait is that good or do you lose a point for that one yeah we don't have many minus points so let's make that a minus that'll be a minus kind of like when our heights are compared huh i don't know just laugh no one's laughing editors no please take the studio out of here put them in guam would you like me to do phone things yeah can you look up what the origin of mukbang is we could transition this to a restaurant i brought it back so i was the first call back right oh mark accidentally pieced himself away editors mark needs to be invisible now that's gonna be a rule the next council if you ever make this you have to just your camera has to disappear if you happen to do this for some reason you peace out he excitedly wheeled around to try and catch the plans that i tossed and he smacked his head on the wall of the jail and collapsed into a heap and then if in the background you hear a trouble stringer locked down the whole jail to clarify when you say wheeled around he's not in a wheelchair is he no no he that's a phrase that no no he was like that it means to turn around quickly and then i just pictured in trapo just for some reason wheelchair that's not funny by the way all right put mark in guam put me in guam fortunately i knew of one power that can get me out of this situation i raised one finger first this finger and then i raise the other to the security camera and i say editors put me in guam the teleporter activates and i zip out of there unfortunately guam is located at the deepest depths of the marianas trench as far as i know so i found myself trapped in the depths of the ocean fortunately i was a uh live streamer who had a 24 7 stream going on and my views were like you wouldn't believe all i had to do was escape mariana's trench and i would be cemented as better than in trapo unfortunately due to some uh past misjudgments and misdeeds on my part the only platform i was still allowed to stream on was x fortunately after i failed my escape attempt and died grok will be able to keep me alive in people's memories escaping random bullshit nonsense forever thanks ai editor's note grok did not actually help mark in guam a little you know he didn't help him in guam he just recreated his likeness so that he could live on forever i feel like grok's the no-but of improv isn't it in a way in a way in a way everyone needs that mark you got points for besteka mctriple no not that smorgasburg look at all this guam handsome point treaty of westphalia tungsten full of cream devastation without everyone in it only toot who up my ass and kill me kill me that's the episode congratulations wayne thanks man is this winter speech time or yeah i would like all you to inject your speeches with another disclaimer to not do anything that we're receiving remotely we would love to hear from you in the comments section in the comments section below you weren't even suggesting it it's all dumb yeah if you researched chemicals then all right that might be the worst winter speech i've ever heard in the history of this podcast um bob you did it you're the victor and i'll prove it to you by telling wade to go ahead and give his loser speech already hurry up and now the end is near and so i face my final curtain my friends no song lyrics i lost i'm over it i was funny peace anyway that's it wade's gonna host the next one because he's a big jillionaire now because he wins the squid game thanks for playing thanks for listening thanks for watching podcast out and i'm dead i'm dead in guam put me floating in guam oh all right well thank you guys how's that all right there he goes that was an entertaining episode uh bob goes from not even being here at the beginning of the episode to taking it all and i think that is Hey and Wade left and wait now Wade's gone. It ends as it began I thank you Bob who is also known as my skirm on YouTube and Twitch Wade Thank you lord minion 777 or minion 777 on Twitch and YouTube Thank you everybody so much for being a part of this podcast experience. Be sure to follow it or we'll kill you Have a good day Augusta So any last words do we what is the deal with this? Are we like deleting our channels or how serious is this cuz loser deletes our channel? I got a good feeling about this one last words. I would you said hmm There was only listening Wade made a peace sign which means fade me out Can we have little licks in on the show or is that a your channel exclusive type deal? No, he goes wherever you watch, but you might have 50 50 chance of getting one key though That's the danger. All right, that's your winner speech Bob. I was really sad to see it I'll come to an end this way, but in a way, it's also really good We're back for full circle back where we started eating chicken and dumplings like old times more like the one old time Anyway, just wait for the next skit video on not Mark's channel. He's deleting it called the rise of slender, man We're gonna smear peanut butter all over somebody's face and they're gonna be the king of the somethings. We'll work it out later Anyway editors at this blow it all up. So we're done podcast out Guaman mark. Yeah, are we Guaman? What happens when I do - do I go double Guam? You disappear from where you are and you reappear in Guam. Take me to double Guam Wow Double Guam All right, we're out of here peace podcast out that's it you Shop Black Friday appliance savings and get up to an extra $1,250 off select appliance purchases like GE profile plus free delivery on appliance purchases of $398 or more make life easier with the fridge that doubles as your personal kitchen assistant or upgrade your laundry room with the ultra-fresh vent system Plus front load washer so your clothes stay fresh after every single wash shop Black Friday appliance savings with fast free delivery at the Home Depot Offer valid November 4th through December 2nd at participating stores and at Home Depot comm us only see store online for details Progressives accident response can contact emergency services If you're in a major accident, the only thing worse than someone you love being in an accident is not being able to help them So progressive is here to help when you can't so get peace of mind knowing your loved ones are protected with progressives accident response Learn more at progressive comm progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates limited availability In California driver is responsible for emergency and towing charges not covered by the policy coverage subject to policy terms and conditions