Best Mall Food Court! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now. We're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonium, Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. Now, if you've got a garbage question, come out and see the boys. Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a group to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's upstairs doing some chin-ups. Okay. She's got the bar crushing it out. Is she doing overhand or underhand? Under, baby. She's got it. She has Cape Fear written on her knuckles, too. Fair enough. Good movie. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode, just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is my best pal in the whole wide world. Here we go. And I love him. I'd do anything for this guy. Yeah, right. Except treat me nice. Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody. How are you, gang? Thanks a lot. Henry, good to fucking see you. Call me by my Christian name. Nice to meet you, Mr. Foley. Inmate number 7943. What? What? First of all, shout out to the motherfucking homies and bozos of RU Garbage for tuning in. Listen, the special has dropped, and there's a fucking motor on it, gang. Let's go. Over a quarter million the first day. The army of garbage has shown the fuck up. Shout out to all of you. We can't thank you enough. Yes. If you haven't already, if you're an audio listener, whatever, whatever, please go check out our special on our YouTube channel. American Garbage. Share with a friend. Throw it in the group chat. Throw a story up. We fucking love you. Thank you so much. Really bootstrapping this fricking thing to get it up and get it going. Grassroots. Grassroots. Old school. Old school, baby. I'm old school, Janice. Yeah, we do it. Talk about it at the water cooler or something. Tell people in the office. Get it going. We're trying to get a season two around here. You know what I mean? Let's do this. Yeah. But honestly, the response has been awesome. Fantastic. It's been really cool. A lot of comics reaching out. They're like, you wouldn't expect watching it. Sure. Hey, watch it last night. Blah, blah, blah. We're on the road. We watch it. So it was all very cool. It makes me feel nice and warm and fuzzy. It's a nice product. Very nice. Very proud of it. Shout out to Connor Kelly and all the fucking boys that helped on it. And also, shout out to the good folks of Tampa that came out and shared your insanely dirtbag stories and let us put it out for hundreds of thousands of people. I feel bad, though. We missed one in the credits, though. Who? Slide camera operator. I don't know. You were on there, no? I was in the producer. He's a producer. That's part of the producer. You got to wear multiple hats. The thing wouldn't have taken off. It took it off without the slide cam, Luke. I know. You got screwed on that deal. Instrumental into the transitions. Yeah. All right. Luke got to work one of the big boy cams and was, you know, really went to his head. Like the rest of his responsibilities. Did you like your headset? You had your headset on. I love that. It was the training wheels of cameras. Yeah. No, we know. I wasn't paying them to give you a good camera. There was no way. Yeah, to fuck that up. Yeah. But I loved it. Good shit. That's special. Freaking garbage, baby. Checking the frig out. All that being said, I got a little something I wanted to get into. Lay it on me. I was, I had a wedding last week and I needed a last minute shirt. So I went to, I needed a shirt. My wife needed something. Because you don't do button downs. I'm taking that from Sal Vacano. I'm done with shirt and tie. What did you have, a t-shirt? No, I did like a knitted. Collar? Yeah. Like a knitted polo, kind of. I gotcha. But nice, nice. Uh-huh. Real nice. Tucked in? Went no tuck. Looked better untucked, if I'm being honest. And not in like a. Fell right at the belt? Yeah, it just, it fell perfectly. Look at you. Also, my suit, no belt. Just them little fucking side johns. No belt loops on it. That's a real European or something, I feel. No belt. Yeah. Suspenders? Which made me, no. Which, it just has like these like pull tab. Like these old school like belt and you know, like a. A sailor would wear. You must have been sagging. No, I was all right. I was real nervous though. What does that do for you? When I put it on. No belt? What's that do for your confidence? Not, not a lot. I would freak the fuck out. Not a lot. Yeah. What'd you say? Diaper butt. Probably look good for the first five minutes. Well, that's what the, that's what happens with a shirt and tie with a guy my size. And like, and my wife's like, no, the shirt and tie looks good. I'm like, it pulled. And then you add in, add in eight buttons and then tuck that in. There's too much pulling. The fabric gets. I pull, I'm too. I even do this and my sleeves come up here. It's like a bad look. The sweat. Yeah. That neck doesn't button right either. It looks like I'm working at fucking, you know, wanna makers. It's, I look like a schmuck, a schmendrick. But, so I had to go get it. I was trying to find a shirt. Typical me is like fucking the weddings in like, you know, eight hours. And I'm like trying to hit stores to find. That's the kind of thing that sucks about shopping now. Like you can obviously get anything delivered to you in 48 hours, but if you need something in six hours, you can't get it delivered to you in 48 hours. In six hours? Your options are fucking zilch. Looking around Burlington Coat Factory. Oh, and you're going, me? And then you're going, do you guys have this? And they're like, I don't think so. I always get fucked on the seasons. Sure. Oh, we don't have any of that stuff anymore. It's whatever. It's like, fuck. I need a goddamn bathing suit. In January. So, I went, you know, we had to go to the mall. Went to the mall. This is day of. No, this is day before. Okay. But, I did the thing where I saw a couple I liked online. I was going to order them, but I didn't. And then I'm like, you're really at the, yeah. Went to the mall. Macy's? Went to, tried Macy's. Dude, it's, you go into a department. This is just, this isn't even part of the thing. It's just of the times. We were in a, we were in a Bloomy's. Really? Which it's like, to me, going into Bloomingdale's before would be like walking into the bank vault. Like you had to have clearance. We did not. We didn't belong there. You have a suit on. You get lunch. We didn't even like exit through there. I never, I honestly, I don't think I went into a Bloomingdale's until I was probably 30. Really? In New York. We always walked through the nice store. Why? None of my. Felt rich. Walked through the perfume department. None of my malls had it. Really? Uh-uh. The closest one would have been Willow Grove. Huh. Oxford Valley and Neshaminy didn't have the big, the best thing they were doing was, I mean, Neshaminy was a Boscov's. That was why it was the big anchor. Yikes. I think they had a Macy's too. Or Strawbridge's or something. Had a Caldor back when I was back. But, uh, yeah, we never, so I didn't know. To me, that was like. Bloomingdale's. Bloomingdale's was like sex in the city. You go to Bloomy's. Um, you go into any department store, I had to go to the bathroom in Bloomingdale's and they were like, oh, it's on the third or fourth floor. They're like empty, vacant space. Back in the alley. Oh my God. They're like, yeah, keep going down there. Fuck that. It's just like concrete. It's like, it's bad. Retail in the U.S. is in bad, bad shape. Bad news. Um, but I went to an express, ended up finding a nice shirt at express. Okay. Shout out to express. Nice. Okay. There you go. But I went to try it on. I don't like trying stuff on, but I went to try it on because I don't really have time. It's like, I just have, this has to get it. You don't have time. For it to not work. Sure. Why are you going to express? What? Pretty good look. Bad joke. Short, short, double that. Would you have just rolled the dice and grabbed it and rolled? No. Uh, if I had another time to go out and get it. You would have. I would have. But I can't, I'm not going to go home and then I'd have to drive back to the mall and get it. So I was like, let me just try it on. You got a true classic on it. I'm dude. I'm waiting to, I'm waiting to their all. They're all combined. The fitting rooms. It used to be by gender. That's no longer the case. It's like a goddamn orgy in there. Like swinger part. Sitting in the middle. Like a key party. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm a little bit of fucking privacy here. Um, there's a, there's three or four rooms. That's it. Right. For like the, the whole fucking men's and women's departments. I'm waiting. A woman comes out and they go, you can go in here. She had a sack full of Wendy's food in there with her. Really? Which one you're walking around the mall with active, active fast food in the mall. It's crazy. She used to be a nice, that was a classy joint young, cool store. She wasn't eating. She was just maybe taking it home. I mean, she was slurred. She was sipping her drink. Obviously y'all, if you get the drink and you're not, you don't rip into the food, you have a couple of sips, but I felt like I was, once I got in there, I immediately closed the door. There's no vet. Like there's no ventilation. I felt like I was in the Wendy's bag, dude. It was, I felt. It was greasy. Oh, it was bad. Yikes. But it's just like, that's where we're at now. Yeah. Why not eat? I don't get, eat it at the food court. I'm okay with getting it and eating it. And heathens walking around. Well, you're shopping for clothes. With a bag of Wendy's. With an active bag of Wendy's. Man. I'll give you some Annie Ann's. You walk around with some nuggets, something like that. A snack. Sure. This was like, this wasn't just like it. This was like the big, like the eight by 10 bag. Jesus Christ. Crushing a burger in there. And they never have handles, so it just looks even, you're like, it's at the top. You know, like you're an old bank robber or something. There's a bunch of cash in there. That's fucked up. Yeah, it was, it felt gross. It felt disgusting. Shirt fit? Shirt fit looked good. There you go. But with a large. Shirt's not bad. When you got to do pants and stuff like that, I hate that. It all sucks. Take my shoes off and all that shit. I hate it. Like, I have my, I have like a. There's something in my chromosomes. It's like from being a fat kid my whole life. And then it's just like nothing ever fit. And I never liked the way I look. So I hate like, it's like a bad physical reaction because I'm like, oh, I'm going to look like the fat. I'm just going to sit here and look at my fat. Oh, something gets hot in there. It's sticking. Stomach starts hurting. Feet start going and shit. Fuck that. Brutal. It all sucks. But all that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, it will answer your garbage. Garbage question on the air. That's American garbage, folks. On YouTube. Check it out. Things cooking. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's see here. This one's a great name. This is from Buttcheeks McGee. When's the first time you cursed in front of adult? When I was 13, my buddy's dad let us have a beer in the garage while he showed off his Camaro. And I said, this thing's bitching. He looked at me and said, we don't talk like that here. Dad. It always sucked when the other family had, like, their rules that weren't yours. Sure. Fucking. I mean, if you were a little trashier. But it's also, you're sitting there having a beer with a guy. He's showing you his Camaro. You can't say bitching. Come on. Bitching. Titties. Ass. You have a couple of me being a dude. Something. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, for sure, there's some fucking, you know, there was some scantily clad calendar or something hanging out. Yeah. What the fuck? That's. I am the king of that, though. That my whole life. I've been the guy who gets a little like if I go, oh, this is a little too comfortable, a little too comfortable, a little too quick. Yeah. And I always came out at that. We're not that kind of family. I yelled one time in my buddy's house, like walking up the stairs. I like, yeah, yelled. And his mom goes, we don't yell in this house. What the fuck, lady? This is Christ. Make you feel like a dirtbag. Yeah. I was always. I was always pretty good at towing the line of like, hey, what I. I would read it and just go, this is I was always like very respectable. Don't go. This is it. But then the second you gave me, we're 13 crack beer. I'm one of the guys. Yeah. You're smoking in the living room. Yeah. Going through the fridge. Uh huh. We were all we always cursed. We were allowed to curse. Not fuck, but pretty much anything else. I curse a lot to my mom now. A lot. Oh, me too. I talked to my mom like she's a fraternity. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking let her have it. I said dickhead the other day. That didn't feel great. Like to your mom? Well, not to my mom, to my sister. You called your sister a dickhead. No, I think I was talking about you for being. We're calling balls and strikes here. Should have saw that coming. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't going to say, but you're really prying. Yeah. There's nothing I won't say in front of my mom. And that's how I like it. That's how I want it. That makes sense. Right. Let it fly. Call me a fucking dickhead. Bullshit. It did not stop. It did not stop there. All right. Let's see. This one's from Ambulance Chaser. Did your mom let you bring a water gun to a public pool? That was a different kind of kid. Yeah. Either the rich kid or a bad kid. Did you hit the wave of like super soakers and stuff like that? Was there a water gun phase? The super soaker probably hit when I was of eight, like prime, right? That was in the early 90s. No. The original one was me when I was in like fourth or fifth grade. Oh. I believe so. It says the first super soaker went on sale in 1990. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. That was prime. Because the engineer built the first prototype in 1982. He also, I think, got ripped off or something. No. I think he leased it out and like made a bajillion. But I think he also built something. He's like a nerdy black dude. Yeah. Lonnie Johnson. Lonnie Johnson. Shut up. What a name. Shut up, Lonnie. That guy named Lonnie in the 80s? Let's go. Yeah. Served in the U.S. Air Force and he worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Oh, shit. Jesus Christ. And he's making the super suit. Super soaker. Let's go. Yeah. We were a super soaker. I had the standard green one, like the super soaker 100 or whatever. Wasn't that it? I think they were like, they were by numbers. And then it got to like the 3,000. Then I remember mid, this is early on in the divorce. This one of the first things I really threw, you know, pinned them against each other. Was I wanted. The big soup, the big backpack, John. Ooh. And my dad got it. And I showed up to my mom's. She was like, what the? She's like. At a pool, though, they were kind of useless. You guys had those things that you sucked into the water. And that was still, that was later than me. That was me. Yeah. That was more. Those things were serious. The stream machine. Yes. Those things were sick. You would fuck someone. If you got someone up close with those, you'd fuck them up. Yeah. Fucking freaking out. Because you just push it. And it was like all that pressure. We were big on water guns last couple of days of school. That was big. Yeah. Getting a piece through the metal detector at school. Jesus. Hitting each other up. Well, then they have the game Assassin, like senior year of high school, where you like have someone and you have to get them with a water gun. That's been bigger. That was more your guys stuff. Yeah. Like you're like, hey, I have to get Luke at some point. And it's like a month long game. Yeah. It's like however long. And there's rules where you can get people and like you have to get them like in the parking lot. Coming out of like practice or whatever at their house or something like you got to get, you know, you can't like fucking run them on a church and, you know, slash the block. Um, but we would do, we would go to the swim club those days. And I mean, I must've been seven, eight, whatever, going to like the public pool. And like, it was mayhem. No, but those days seemed like a hundred each day. Yeah. I think my mom would like drop us off or take us at like 8 a.m. And then it's just like, you're just like, I'm gonna be like, I feel like I was there for like a day and a half. Hotty shit. Sung burnt. Yeah. Smells like malt vinegar. And then the older kids could leave and walk to Wawa and I wasn't allowed. Man, they would walk by, do Danny and say they'd all be leaving on their squad. They were probably, you know, 11, 12. Sure. Fucking leaving me in the dust. Just sit there. Give me some Skittles or something. Yeah, I'm at defense. They're walking away from me. I'm just fucking so pissed. That's awesome. Kim, let's talk about DraftKings. DraftKings! Gang, as you know, the wait is over. Football season is back and so is DraftKings. DraftKings is now live in all 50 states. One app, every sport nationwide. Let's go, baby. Have some fun this season. Yeah. New DraftKings customers sign up with the code AYG. You spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days. This includes all markets. That's code AYG. In partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. You got a gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut? Call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 plus. Voiding Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbooks to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with DraftKings Predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Every contract. Trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 claim. Click the claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at dkng.co slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-play sports contest. Availability varies by state, obviously. Kim, let's talk about Factor, baby. Factor. Let's go. Factor's back. Fall is here. You want to eat right. You want to eat delicious, nutritious food. Get over to Factor. Get your routine locked in, ready to go. Factor with over 175 banned ingredients. They don't have it in there. They don't make the cut. Not everything makes the cut over there, Factor. 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GARBAGE50 off at Factormeals.com. See website for details. Do it. All right, let's see here. This one's from IP Freely. Outdated garbage rate. Use every deposit and envelope full of coins in the ATM in order to withdraw a couple of bills. I didn't know you could do that. I've never deposited anything at the ATM. I started doing checks. Really? Yeah. Is it available immediately? Uh, no. Maybe, like, I think they give you, like, the 200 or, like, the standard, whatever that is anymore. But once the phones came out, that was. But I would. I've definitely done checks in ATMs. Deposit a check in the ATM. But I never. I mean, I just started doing that later in. Like, comedy. I wouldn't trust it. I wouldn't tell her. Yeah, I never knew you could do that. Yeah, and I also never. I don't think I ever deposited a check. I always cashed it right away. Always. And if I didn't have an account, I'd go to the bank that the check was written on. Oh, yeah. They'd be like, you don't have an account here. But what is your checks written on this? They'd charge you 10 bucks. Mm-hmm. Fucking dickheads. Yeah, not every place. I mean, uh. That was always big. It says they give you about 200 to 500 instantly when you deposit them. The check. Hmm. If you have. A lot of times, if you have that, which we never. We never had it. I'd have $32 in there depositing a $400 check, and they'd go, maybe we'll give you 100. At midnight, it'll switch over. If it was written. So, like, I had TD, so if it was written. If it was a TD account, it was either, like, one day or maybe even, like. Sure. They could check immediately to see if the funds were available to draw it off of. Catch a Wachovia check. You're fucked. Waiting two weeks for San Dantere to fucking clear. Like, flying. Yeah, that was. That was. I learned that shit early and often. Especially come the first of the month in New York when rent's due, I'd get my check, go to my guy's bank. It was a Chase bank, the guy I worked for. Cash it there. Go over to TD, deposit it. Cash. Today. I need to draw off. I need to draw off on this. Today. Patty was big on the drive-thru with the thing that went up. Yeah. Yeah. That was my dad. Yeah. I could never figure out how the fuck that worked. It was weird. Air. Air. I'd send you back up a lollypot. Lonnie Jenkins figured it out. Massive propulsion. Yeah, that's. That was. That's real dirtbag economics. You figure that stuff out now. But now it's like. It's all Venmo and cat. Like, there's even ways to hack it that way that I just don't. Sure. I haven't really needed to. I'm a big instant transfer kind of guy. Still. Yeah, of course. Give it to me. It's my money and I need it now, dog. Three days floating around out there. Who the fuck knows what can happen? Get the fuck out of here. This one's great. This is from Knack Knack Paddywhack. Yous ever leave cigs out in the sun to dry after they got wet? Pro move. Gotta do it. Really? You've never done that? Never tasted the same. No. Couldn't do it. I can't smoke a wet cig. But you need to do it. If I've ever. Yes, if I. If my only thing was wet cigs. Man, I can't. Yeah. Well. Tasted brutal. I didn't let you. Did they get that stain on them? The brown stain. Ugh. Yeah. Vicious. Mm-hmm. That. Somebody. I don't think we ever did it. Microwaved them for like 10, 5 seconds at a time to dry them off. Hmm. Otherwise, it starts to cook. But I think we learned that when somebody would do a blunt. Like a blunt got wet or something. Yeah. Yeah, blunts in the microwave. And you can like dry it out or something. I don't even remember. Dry out the weed so you can break it up. Yeah. People do that. People do that with like the backwood wraps. Like they'll like completely soak them in water and then microwave them. And I. It's something. Yeah. After you roll it. No, before. Huh. Yeah. To like dry it out and then roll it. Hmm. I remember when blunt. I mean, I wasn't. But when blunt wraps hit. It used to be Philly. Philly blunt. Then Dutch's. Then White Owls. And then they just started selling blunt wraps. And I was like, we are in the future. The first time I saw brown like weed wrappers, I was like, holy shit, that's fucking genius. Uh-huh. Wait, that's what we're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. But like, what's the company? Like Zig Zag will just have the wraps. Yeah. Yeah. Cutting out the fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing as the White Owl where it's just like the wrap paper. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the clear tube. Yeah. The tubes, dude. There wasn't a fucking car I got into from 2002 to 2000, I don't know, eight. They didn't have the orange, the purple, dude. A white. A grape white owl was like, yo, we're running to Exxon. Get me, get me grape white owls. White grape white owl. White grape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, oh my God, dude. And then like, that was always immediately followed by like someone spitting out a seed or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? Oh, just like. Scooby snack. Oh, dude. I hate it, Blunt. Just, dude, that's. We would just. We had nothing to do. I mean, I'm sure we did. Let me correct that. The kids who were contributing members to our society were doing good stuff. We were just riding around like a fucking Bonneville. Just fucking baking out. Just driving into the woods just going, yo, going to Blunt Cruise. Blunt's like a bottle of champagne to stoners. It's like this special event. It is. Yeah. Gotta put the right music on. Like, oh yeah, bump this. Yeah, 50 got in. You know, new mixtape. Everyone's throwing in. A DJ Who Kid mixtape just dropped or a Green Lantern mixtape. My boy, my boy J Mills got a fucking a white. I didn't even smoke. I would just get high in the backseat of a car going, drop me off. This sucks. Stunk, man. Stunk. Stunk. Instant paranoia. Secondhand hotbox is no joke either. If you don't smoke weed. I didn't know I could go, hey man, just pick me up after. Like I thought. You would be left out of the group. Yeah. Yeah. If you missed the fucking Blunt Circle, you might as well fucking be a transfer student. I think you're a cop. That stunk, dude. So much of my life. I don't know why we thought that was cool. We were always trying to be older. Sure. It was cool. I don't know. Smoking Blunts in a car is cool? I mean, when you're 16. At that age, that's cool. Yeah, I don't know. Up in 50 Cent. For us, it was Cypress Hill. Sticking it from the bar. Yeah, that was crazy. I remember my buddy's dad had a thing easy. What are they? Easy widers? Easy widers. He had a. He had. He like opened up this drawer in his bedroom and he had the dispenser. It was stuck to the side. Stuck to the side. Yeah. He would pull out like a whole pack and I went. That was in the. That was a fucking surgeon or something like that. Jesus Christ. What the hell? Remember he took us to a farm one time? He was like, this is where I grow my vegetables. I'm like, dude, you're high right now and you're a doctor. This is crazy. Growing your chiva. Yeah. That's wild. That's where I learned it was this. Like a big faux pas to wear shorts riding a motorcycle. You burn yourself. Yeah, you fall. It's like, that's why you wear leather. It's like an extra set of skin or whatever. It's like. And he was like, you see that there? That's the cardinal sin. That guy's not a real biker. Something like that. Why is this the farm? This was the world's most interesting man, by the way. Where was the farm? I don't know. No, why was it at the farm that you would ride motorcycles out there? No, I wouldn't. We were driving. He was driving us to his farm. Now that I'm looking, he was just maybe just selling weed or growing weed. But we were driving out to his farm and we were next to a motorcycle and the guy was wearing like cut-off fucking denim, like a cut-off jean short. He's like, this guy's a pussy. Meanwhile, we were in like a fucking Ford Windstar or whatever. Going to look at vegetables. I'm fucking rolling a blunt. That's funny. This one's from Craig with a K. What a name. Craig with a K is. Craig with a K. dirtbag shit, dude. Oh, Craig with a K. Craig, K-R-A-I-G. Craig's tough anyway. Craig's all right. Craig's old school. I like a Greg. Sure. Craig or Greg? I don't know. Every Greg I knew was a fucking dirtbag. Yeah. Yeah, I'll give you that. Greg. It'd be a manager's name. Sure. Fucking Greg. Greg's fucking working today. Fuck. Such a dickhead. Is it garbage to name your firstborn child not in honor of your father's name but his preferred beer of choice? Lady I know named her daughter Millie Lou, M-L, because her dad drank Miller Lite. Millie Lou. That's a trashy name, too. I mean, she's probably a sweet girl, but Millie Lou. I kind of like Millie. Yeah, Millie's a good name. But that's southern shit, right? Like anything with May or Lou. Yeah, but Millie M-I-L-L-Y. Is that how she's spelling it? No, I-E. Okay, thank God. Millie, Millie. Millie, Millie, Millie, Millie. Miller would be a good first name for a boy. Yeah, that'd be like real waspy. Oh, this is Miller Softfoot. Miller Foley. Yeah. Miller Thomas Foley. Mm-hmm. You need the third. Miller-Foley doesn't work. you need like yeah miller like a nice name 30 yeah thomas foley yeah um damn dude that's after a beer after the beer her dad drank is crazy if you were just like a stone cold alcoholic you're like i love i love mls i'm gonna name i'm gonna give her you know the ml but the fact that your dad drank it and you're like this he would have loved it that's a middle name to me what millie the beer hey my dad loves this beer we'll do the middle name hi i'm kevin michelob ryan it's not kippy it's michelob yeah my brother lowenbrow brutal you love a lowenbrow i love a lowenbrow reference i love it and the foil it's classy didn't you say your dad drew al michelob he's a michelob guy but that had the foil too the old yeah yeah yeah it wasn't like foil but yeah yeah it had the paper around the yeah which in that weird shape i never saw anybody else that drank maybe but like that was what beer was as a kid as a kid it was like beer michelob is beer and then when they dropped that it's not beer it's michelob i remember me and pat got a hold of that that campaign it's not beer it's michelob a couple of mix let's go um let's see here also this class you're trashy the wedding i was at my cousin shot at the mikey they had the guinness cans that they would put like the draft cans so you could get like i guess because you probably can't it'd be tough to like do drafts like actual drafts of guinness the bartender would pop them open and pour them for you yeah huh felt a little bit above felt not it's you know i don't know it's it's the classiest way to do it without a proper yeah if you don't have a tap yeah right makes sense and you need the special guinness tap preferably which is hard to come by sure you got to do like a proper irish bar yeah yeah it's a tough call never liked the cans though never came out the same i don't know if i've ever i still don't understand there's like nitro in there or something i don't get it i don't know i have no idea vinnie with the skinny started drinking them we were like fucking 19 i'm like that's crazy anybody drinking dark beer when you were a kid crazy drinking a porter the fuck wild that shit was so foreign to me because nobody i knew drank even decent beer like beer was coors light or michelob so then like when people started drinking like the shimei and like i'd like shimei flipping flipping is fucking crunchy way too young people started doing that shit like in our 20s people were doing that was like uh get the fuck oh that was when you were like trying to figure out you thought that was your personality sure oh yeah i'll do the shimei blue i just want to chill out have some shimei i'm like you're just fucking smoking a blunt listen to 50 cents shut your fucking fucked up that was honey brown uh to us there was a micro brew called honey brown yeah it's like a dark beer oh that or a fucking newcastle people would do new it's like drinking pennies get the fuck out of here fuck that newcastle suck i don't think i ever really did that where i tried to make it my your thing to kind of be like like oh i'm the guy who drinks this it's always been like when i got big i'd be like any ipa like uh you know oh we got ipas i go great i don't fucking care i tried to be a bass guy for a little while oh then i had a bad allergic reaction to one my whole face swole up it's done that happened to me dude uh i think my brother came home and there was like some beers and i had a miller light and it was like i was like first time like drinking with like my fam like first time they were like here's some beer like i was probably but trying again trying to be cool had probably drank a couple of times and it was like yeah i have a couple like they came home early and they're like oh yeah party didn't pan out so but they had like a 12 pack or whatever case of miller light i drank two and my neck broke out and like all blotchy pipes dude i'm gonna die oh my god dude trying to fucking trying to be cool dude and just not just not cool drinking out of a champagne glass that and what one time we were driving down the shore again probably fuck man we were young probably 13 or 14 and we asked my sister if we could smoke in the car i remember yeah and my my boy got he was found out he was allergic to camel blues he did he turned green her to pull over and threw up on the fucking expressway just like not cool just not cool dude i wonder why that is like why did that miller light have an allergic reaction i think i think i was just flying too close to my body wasn't that cool you know what i mean it was i wasn't ready for the situation it was probably nerves anxiety yeah probably that's what i'm saying that's probably like oh dude i gotta get married now i gotta get divorced i gotta do this i gotta get a job don't don't butcher this dude you're hanging with the cool kids running with the big dogs now that's funny uh yeah it was tough um all right let's see this is one this one's from alex uh i never have one read luke i don't know it's it's actually i picked the questions but you can yell at luke i appreciate it i like what luke gets pinned on for things probably luke uh is it garbage to walk through the front lawn grass instead of walking on the concrete walkway to the front door of a house this is very situational great for the show yeah i always say this fuck the lawn fuck your mulch not walking around to the fucking walkway can't walk on the grass i don't you gotta really have a nice lawn i don't think it's not i i remove the ability to walk remove like i i don't think anybody doesn't want you to walk on the grass right luke like i'm never anywhere no one's like duh make sure you don't walk on the ground no one's ever said that well that would be the reason why would no i mean i to me i interpreted this as it like lazy and trashy to oh cut through yeah versus like if you're going over to like a party to like let's say you're going to like a i think if you're walking through the front yard and not on the walkway to a dinner party with like nice slacks on with your wife and you got a bottle of wine that feels got trimmings all over your shoes yeah exactly you come in all fucking oh you were golfing yeah that's that's a bit of a tougher uh that's a tougher one i feel yeah um i love that cutting through the yard yeah it is trashy though it is because it's like you're not going walk on the walk what are you doing not even i don't think anybody would complain you immediately get in trouble that's what you go to your head someone yelling at you somebody did yell at me when i was a little kid he was seeding his lawn and i walked through his lawn he's like you ever walk on that lawn again i'll beat your ass jesus christ buddy overreaction yeah but you should have walked it's also you don't even live in that nice of a neighborhood no this isn't this early 80s no that guy's got he was a dickhead bigger issues yeah i hated that guy um i always i mean growing up it was always like if you could cut through someone's there was houses in the neighborhoods that you could cut through or not cut through sure you know what i mean it was like we're like certain people were cool with it certain people were and now looking back i i kind of understand maybe why people i wouldn't care but i'm saying why people wouldn't love it don't want you cutting through their lawn we would drive but there was this one guy that we always just was a he was a fucking dickhead he had a koi pond and he lived next to he connected the two two neighborhoods did he have kids i don't know not that i knew if they weren't in your crew they didn't have kids they were usually fucking dicks yeah dicks but we dude i mean there would there could be now looking back i get that this might have not been like the coolest it could have been a handful of times a day in summer day sure four or five days a week little dirt bags cutting through and that he'd do like six or seven of us eight of us at a time on bikes we'd fly down this hill through his driveway oh right this is kind of crazy yeah through his driveway down his backyard was like down a hill uh-huh and then like onto this little like path oh yeah and we'd be like fuck you dude just like not caring at some point somebody could have been like i don't know i don't know i don't have killed a fish or something like that well not even that then at one point i was hard up for cash i was gonna go back and steal those fish because another buddy's dad was like jesus what yeah i was in college or right out of college and i was really broke this guy wanted he was like i'd love to get a koi pond but the fish are expensive i go buddy how are you gonna how are you gonna move them a glue cooler no how are you gonna fence them what do you mean you had a buyer for him yeah said if you steal them i'll take them yeah he wanted to buy them but like a full-grown koi fish is like very we've talked about this is very expensive scumbag move yeah the neighbor comes over it looks just like ernie no they were they were fern far and they were different jurisdictions you know what i mean not to get the stadies involved to try to fucking connect the dots this is all pre-internet sure not really but that's why the internet was for sure out large ones 15 to 24 inches are five to five hundred to five thousand dollars yeah Really? Yeah. And this guy. He was a single dad. I had some cash, and he redid his backyard and put a pond in. Sure. And we were sitting out there drinking. I was probably not even 21. He's like, you need some fucking, put some koi in there. He goes, those things are two grand. I go, I'll get you koi fucking 500. I'll get you a couple koi. Let's go. Me and Vinny with the skinny were going to fucking just go. Pull the job? Yeah, just do it. That's funny. Because it was like, can that, you could get away. We had it. That was when you were like. They were probably going to be tougher to handle than you thought. For sure. But just net them. We had to. We had it. Vinny with the skinny had the net. We'd have the coolers. He's got a gun. Hit the jack. I got to kill Vinny afterwards. Tie up loose ends. Job goes bad. They always creep me out, koi fish. They're very tranquil. I like them. They're all like Japanese, right? Yeah. Oh, it freaked me out a little bit. Slippery. Yeah, they're for sure. A little too catfishy for me. Anything that big, I don't trust. But if they're around, you're somewhere nice. Yeah. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. There was a time when we were drinking so much. There was like no real responsibility. And like the reality is obviously very, you know, like a college summer or something. Sure. Just like, you know, just drinking. Where I'm like, you could have convinced me to really do some stupid fucking. To the quick and sure. Of course. Not even like, yeah. Really? Hey, we're going to do this. I'd be like, oh, I, I can see how you get yourself in a bad position. Yeah. Where you're like, ah, listen to what 50 cent. Well, a little too much 50 cent. You got, you got your, your hang with a kid from the wrong side of the track. Trying to gash you up a little bit. You make, you make, you know, one or two bad, bad choice. Would the guy yell at you when you were going through? Yeah. We always fucking hated him. But now I'm going like, yeah, I guess you kind of didn't like 15 guys on Huffy's rolling through. I mean, it might honestly like a week. It might've been 30, 40 people like on bikes, like repetitively. If that was happening to your place, would you be cool with it? That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't, I think you would eventually go like, guys, this is a bit excessive. Me. I don't know. I can, I can kind of see how you'd go. Sure. It's a lot of people on your property. A lot. And maybe if he, I don't know if he had like a younger kid or something. I forget, but I can see, I can see. I can see the other side of the shoe. Yeah. It makes sense. But back then you didn't give a fuck. Fuck you. You live in your lane. Let's go. Kim, let's talk about square support for today's episode. Come from square. The system apparently like half the places I go. If you're a tap to pay and thought, wow, what is it? That was fast. Quick. It's square, baby. Let's go. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running the design studio square helps you run your business without running yourself. Going to the ground. Yes. And right now, listeners, you get a $200 off square hardware. When you sign up at square.com slash go slash garbage. That's S Q U A R E.com slash go slash garbage. Visit square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. Listen, we are a square business. You've ever been on a road. You, you seen diesel, you bought a t-shirt and you go, you tap the card or you swipe the card. Bing, pow, boom. You got squared guy. That's what happens. And we got a lot of homies and bogeys. We got a lot of homies and bogeys. We got a lot of homies and bogeys out there that are, that are hustling, running side business square can take, take care of all that. All the, all the, all the business, all the, all the egghead stuff for you. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, squares helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down right now, you can get $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash garbage. That's S Q U A R E.com slash go slash garbage or run your business smarter with square. Get started today. Yeah. Gang, this episode is brought to you by better help. Yes. If you sat down and you thought about it, if tomorrow you could be better at one thing, what would it be and how do you accomplish that? Yes. Could be watering the plants. It could be a communicating. It could be cutting hair. I don't know whatever you want to do, but if it's your mental health, get over to better help. They can help you become a better person day by day, year by year. Do yourself a favor. Get over to better help. Yeah. Better is a feeling defined by you and for better help, it's a better help therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional wellbeing with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress and it's getting better at whatever you want to do. If you want to be present more, better help can help with that. It's listen, boil it all down. It's about taking those little steps. Me and Foley have each used better help. It's about taking those steps to better yourself. And listen, it could be a dark time. It could be very bumpy waters. You could be in some turbulence, but it might not feel like it's working, but that little step. That little step helps in the long run. You got to take the step, baby. And right now you sign up, you get 10% off at better help.com slash garbage. That's better help. Help. H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it. Do it. Um, all right, let's see. This one's from Tootie's Pilates instructor, $10 Foley supporter. Yay. There's one on the board. It's you and me, big guy. Uh, is it garbage if most of your tools have come from a breakdown lane on 95? I just found a DeWalt battery last week. I don't know. I don't have the drill yet, but I will someday. That's pretty good. Yeah. I guess that was that shift fall off the trucks and stuff. Yeah. If you're fixing something on the side of the road. Oh yeah. Scoop it up. Uh, I mean, yeah, it's very trashy, but why not? I don't ever remember my dad buying any new tools really until like the two thousands. They were always borrowed or old or something. Never any fresh stuff. We were just, we were different because my dad had a construction on my stepdad. So it was like, you know, our houses, our garages were extensions of the company. Do you guys have like a drill when you were young? No, but also we never had that shit at the house. It was like, I'll bring it home. I'll bring one home from work at the shop. It was like, it was all the, you know, we never like, we were a screwdriver family. Oh, brutal, brutal. The difference that made having a little drill. Oh yeah. We didn't know. We never. Never. It's like bringing home an industrial kitchen though to like solve like. That's what we do. Dude, I remember my dad had this toolbox. Get the jackhammer. I think it was like a ratchet set toolbox. The tool, it was one of those metal, looked like an old lunch pail from like the 50s. Like the big, it was like this big, like a craftsman. Yeah. Probably 24 inches long, eight inches deep. Ratchet set. Big metal fucking, had the big red tray in there. And I remember this thing had to be about 75 pounds. Sure. I was like, what? Who the fuck? Who the fuck is carrying us to work every day? Ratchets escaped my mind so much. I could not wrap my head around what the fuck they were for or fucking how they were used. Sure. That, I mean, we, yeah. Get my ratchet set. Get my ratchet 716 ratchet set. We always had one, but never used it for anything. We were always missing ratchets. No, we learned ratchets. And then I skateboarded. So we would use the ratchet to get the, the ball, to get the wheels off and stuff like. That was my like. That was like our first car because like I couldn't really, I wasn't really handy, but like, I'm like, Oh, I'll take, I'll, I'll do the trucks myself. And then to put the bearings in the wheels was real hard. So you had to take one of the ratchets matched up identically with, forget the size, but identically with the ball bearing. Like, so you, it wouldn't, you couldn't just press the ball bearing in the wheel. Really? It was too snug. Huh? So you have to use like a fucking shit ton of pressure. So you would. Yeah. Yeah. So you would put a ratchet that like fit on top of it. Right. And then hit it with a hammer to get it in there. That's pretty good. Yeah. So we would do that. So we like really found, that was like my, I'm like, okay, guys can't hang out tonight. Got us swapping the trucks out. That's real mechanic shit. Got a new set of lucky Swiss bearings. Ball bearings. Pretty good. Yeah. Me and my boy Liam would just take out our bearings and like wash them in WD-40. Put them back in. Put them back in. Rotate the wheels. His dad. His dad had a little shop, like a shed. And he had a vice in there. So we'd put the board in the vice. Vices were nice. Got one of those. You were all right. It'd be cold in there. We'd be in like our jackets, like close the door. Had like a little window. It was like, it was like we were in there. He's like, hey, you know, hand me that. I'm like looking through inventory, looking for stuff. We were running. Yeah, bring the board over. We'll do the bearings. Take care of it. Yeah. Take care. Sit down. Have a cup of coffee. The boys will get you. That's funny. What's the rush? Is this thing inspected? All right. Let's see. This one's from great name. Chicken pharmaceuticals. That's a great fucking name. Very good. Great name. $10 blue collar. Love the special. Thank you, sir. Thanks, buddy. Are you garbage? If you make chocolate milk for your cereal, I'm talking pouring the syrup over the cereal, then adding milk. That's. I don't know. I mean, that's more of like a dessert to me. I mean, there's a logical answer if it's a chocolate or peanut butter cereal. Sure. But if you're doing that to fruity pebbles, that's insane. Sure. I mean, I think flavor aside, I think it's trashy. Of course. I don't think you should be. Also, that's like, to me, that would be like the trashier way to make it to me. If you made it like a chef where you're like, I'm going to make the chocolate milk and then that's like part of the problem. Like, I'm going to make the bait. I'm going to make the broth, you know what I mean? Like how a chef goes. I'm making a sauce over here, then I'm doing it, and then I'm combining it. and the things I made. If you did that, I'd go. I'd give it to you. Today we're doing a whole milk with a Hershey syrup. But if it's a chocolate cereal, it always made chocolate milk anyway. Of course. Which I thought was the best. Like a Cocoa Puffs milk at the end. Let's go. Let's go. A couple times I got into a fucking couple bowls of cereal this summer where I just like fucking. I just can't. I got to handcuff myself. It's just bad. Eat the whole box. Yeah. Just crush it. And it's one of those things where I know I got to start eating it quicker before the feeling hits me where I don't want anymore. Because I want to eat as much as possible, but I know my body is. What are you doing? What? What cereal? It was Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Huh. Down the shore. They had the kids have it. Yeah. I'll give you that. My niece walked. She's got to be about, I don't know, eight. And she's like, oh, and she then grabbed the box and was like, this is mostly gone. I said, who the fuck? What the fuck? But they had got it. They bought it that night. Like it was the next morning. So she knew she for her. They brought down a fucking chock full box. Yeah, it's spilled. What the fuck do you want? She goes, how much did you eat, Uncle? I said, what the fuck? What the fuck was your problem? Jesus Christ. I gave it to the baby. The baby was eating it. What the fuck? I know. Fat ass. I know. I know. You just, dude, I turned into an eight-year-old and she was bullying me. Like, I immediately regressed. I'm going to fight you right now. I will fight you. Start crying. Yeah, it's brutal. Puff, puff look. That's funny. This one's from Marcus. $10 homie, but still a bozo. That's a great tagline right there. I like it. I like it. This is really just a statement. Mom owned a pawn shop named Cash Cow. I'd wear a cow costume and shake a We Buy Gold sign. Man. That's a family business right there. I don't. I have so many followers. What age was that happening? Sure. Where is it? Because pawn shops are rarely in decent neighborhoods. Not next to a Bloomingdale's, I can tell you that. Not next to a Bloomy's. He was too close to a highway to be a kid. Does that make sense? Sure. That was a main thoroughfare. There was a couple of DeWalt batteries on the side of that. For sure. There was a couple of- Probably a porn store somewhere in the vicinity. Sure. Yeah, that's dangerous. I always gauge that anytime I go back to my mom's, you go back to Bucks or whatever. You can always gauge a town, and this is a very Pennsylvania thing, and I don't know why, but the tobacco stores. They're like the Sig outlets. The Sig outlets or something, they had, I don't know if it was some sort of lull or bypass that they could have, but they were never in a regular shopping center. They were always by themselves. It was like a pizza hut or something. It was always weird to go in there. Nobody bought Sigs from there. You go to Wawa. Uh-huh. That's it. That's the weird guy that bought them there. And they were always by Jersey, because I guess the taxes were higher in Jersey, so they would come over. They were always by the river. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. I understood. This is coming from someone who my dad smoked, and my stepdad smoked, and my stepmom, my whole entire life. Couldn't catch them dead. No one ever went, I'm going to pop in here and grab a pack of Sigs. So it was always this obscure, like, are you buying a bunch? It felt like it was like people were coming from other places to get- Buying cartons or something. Yes. Buying loose tobacco. Yeah. Yeah. Never. That and State Minimum was always big. Wawa always had Sigs at State Minimum, or a lot of places would go, Marlboro Lights, State Minimum. Marlboro Reds, Winston, State Minimum. Because a lot of times with the taxes, a state would apply taxes. Right. Certain taxes, like, this is how fucking, this is how much of a heater family I come from. That's why in New York, they go get them in like Virginia and shit like that. Sure. The stamp. But certain states, so like, I think, let's say, this is maybe not, this is maybe 10, 15 years ago, Pennsylvania added like a $2 tax to a pack of cigarettes, or a dollar tax. Some of those taxes, you can pass off to the customer, and some you can just eat. Right. And like, Wawa was at one point eating the tax, because they were like, we don't fucking care. We'll get you in here for a Sigs, we'll sell you a Sizzly. Get gas, get this, get that, yeah. So that's what they were like, oh, that's why it was like. Go to Wawa. Go to Wawa, they're eating the tax for you. That's how good that company is. Yeah. Yeah. That's trashy as shit. Dude, I went into a fucking Wawa the other day, told my, I was trying to eat healthy, told my wife, I was like, I'm going to go to Wawa. myself i wasn't going to dance with the devil i was not going to get a sizzly i was going to get their egg bites i've been big on their egg bites well docked no egg bites cooking oh yeah give me the mozzarella sticks do the classic did the gobbler uh so i grab uh i dance in your world for they don't even have that many sandwiches but i'm already i walked in eat i'm gonna eat so now i can't i didn't have the willpower at the moment to walk out that's just me who i am so what'd you get they had the double bacon croissant the croissant stinks what it stinks it's all croissant the craziest thing i've ever heard you're just tasting like fucking bad butter and croissant bagels stink i'm not saying they're good but you taste the sandwich as a whole i want the egg cheese and meat is the main thing i'm going for there otherwise i'm just tasting the buttery croissant i just get if i i go to a place and i'm like oh my god i'm going to go to a place if i go to a pret a manger or something if i was if i was going to be a little buttery croissant but i'm checking out and she goes it's uh i'm ringing you up for a hash brown it's free hash brown day if you buy a sandwich in any coffee it's free hash brown day so you can take it or you cannot take it it's completely up to you i said lady what the fuck why'd you fucking tell me that yeah give me 12 hash browns i know i'll take three more sandwiches free hash brown day what the fuck yeah and state minimum i'm not going to the fucking tobacco store like a loser i know things coming up kippy but that was like a i'm like god damn dude this is that's the devil that's the devil out there that's what i'm telling you i don't care being a fat kid your whole life waking up trying to trying to make the right choice i was going to have those egg bites i was going to come home i was going to go for a run never had a shot that did not happen no did not happen nice four hour nap all that croissant didn't you um all right let's see here we got time for one or two more hit me um this one is from this one's just funny good name ten dollar bozo what inning is appropriate to upgrade your seats at a ball game i say you gotta wait until at least the fourth but according to my dad quote unquote if they ain't here for the anthem they don't deserve those seats now we say upgrade we're talking about stealing seats yeah moving forward anthem that's crazy that's wild you'll get embarrassed you gotta wait till like the fifth or sixth inning but here's the thing i think if you're willing to do that you can't be but you don't give a fuck yeah just move just go i didn't know oh this ain't section 119 i could never do that it's tough for anxiety would never let me do it yeah we did it all the time with my dad really yeah huh would you wait to till the people that were in those seats leave no i don't think so i don't think so i don't think so i don't think so that happened a couple times but it was mostly just like second or third inning and we would just go get hot dogs and then it was like all right my dad would be like i think those ones are good second or third inning traffic and shit like that yeah but third inning third inning i'll give you he said fourth i i would say fourth is safe is the is the admirable thing not the anthem the anthem's crazy wild that's you know batting practice yeah these are ours right here um they kind of put the kyle's in there i don't think so i don't think so i don't think so i don't think so you can't really do that well there's a lot of those chaperones yeah those ushers or whatever and they know but i went to the fucking uh i went to a world cup game and like a lot of times just go they'll go let me see your ticket i'm sitting in uh 114 they go okay right down there to the left like no one checked my ticket at all really a lot of times there is a kind of thing of just act like you belong there sure you know and like if you if you're fucking stumble or something your eyes are darting you're sweating they're gonna go this is something meaningful you're a fucking hold it there fat boy yeah you don't belong down here in the ones uh but we all also when we would do events my dad would get like free tickets or like a supply like in good seats we never if we also never went like hey you know what let's go to uh a ball game this week never scalped we did oh for sure my dad would do that we would also do like uh uh my dad would go i got tickets to the flyers game tomorrow night and that's what we would it would be like somebody from like some big plumbing company would be like hey here's so many tickets because you bought tickets you bought 50 toilets this month or something like that yeah so that we would get good corporate-esque seats a lot of the moment spur of the moment yeah which was like now that i have a kid i want to live more of that life because at some time those tickets were like kind of coming in pretty flush i think when business was good And we'd be like a Wednesday, but we're going to the game. I'd be like, we're gonna get in the car we're driving to south philly we're gonna yeah get home like 11 o'clock when things got kind of tough that fun i'd like you want to go to keep like we'll go three months on a saturday and you never go or we'll say a lot of we'll see you know how expensive that is you got parking all that stuff the vibes changed a lot on the spur of the moment fun yeah you know snap-on tickets dried up guy's a fucking dickhead anyway yeah that stuff uh that's funny and then like that was only through my dad my mom never would never take us to that was just like a very dad of course uh thing and my stepdad didn't like sports so he for sure wasn't you know i'd have to be explaining football to him or whatever you know it didn't unless it was racing um that's funny but yeah i would i want to do the more like let's go do but then yeah i see it now you get tired and you're like i just don't know why did i commit to this but not even like committing to something now it's just like i'll get home and like i'll be like after traveling or whatever i'll make sit on the couch and the you know my son will be playing i'll be like yeah yeah yeah i'm like kicking the ball you know i was doing something with my foot it's like petting a dog with your foot just bend down and pet the dog you know what i mean got the ball on a fucking fishing rod yeah yeah yeah yeah um all right let's see here this one's from howard huntley lloyd the fourth gentleman i think i read those roman numerals right one v is four four four you's ever organized a dirty dish instead of just washing them i did it yesterday always that is rinse them off i don't even really rinse them stack them up stack them in that's if you start that early my wife doesn't my wife dumps and i go you're gonna make us dumps like she throws them all in just that that's crazy puts a pan in like fourth you go you can't put a pan in fourth you scrape you line them up i'm also just like get the pan do the pan right away like it doesn't have to be great sure just get the pan over there so it's like it'll it'll last the night you can whatever tomorrow but like get it off right away and then it's just like one can you put that in the sink you gotta do them dishes it's fun you gotta there's nothing worse than like a pot filled with water you're like like there's gonna be mosquitoes in here in the morning if i let this sit brutal gotta take care of it i'm a big fan of doing the pan and throwing right back on top of the oven that's where it goes yeah our pans live on our all on the upper dishes they can wait yeah yeah i don't fucking ever do a cookie sheet all burnt chicken cutlets or something you're scraping that shit yeah that sucks obviously i was also a big soaker i gotta let that soak that's so good to kick the can down two weeks yeah yeah be ready to go i don't do there was the other night it was bad we were just fucking cooked me and you were traveling uh baby started day a version of daycare we're just fucking fried he's not sleeping he was sick whatever not sleeping and did the kitchen look like someone threw a fucking flashbang in there it looked fucking it looked like they pulled gaddafi out it was looking it was bad it was fucking bad and busy shift at denny's oh dude because then like he's got so much shit and like he's got a tray for the high chair sometimes that just gets shoved in there that's like sticking out of the sink like a boogie board you know what i mean there's fucking shit all over that he ain't no clean eater either there's shit all over that and like they didn't look to me and she's like you can do it if you want i'll do it in the morning like that's it i respect she's like this is that's going over and i go what'd you do let it fly i turn the lights out and say fucking that that room is a no you know fill it up with soapy water we'll call it a day fucking seal the door dude that's it uh but we gotta wrap it up gang gang we love you to death thank you for everybody for watching american garbage if you haven't seen it go over to the check it the fuck out tell a friend we appreciate it we love you and we'll see you in three days peace peace hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save