Beirut, Lebanon w/ Tom Papa | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

I guess. You know who's cool. It's right. We're all thinking the same guy. Arnold Schwarzenegger. And you know why is school? Some of you might have the wrong answer here. No, it's not because he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if he was this full-blooded marriage child. No, it's not that at all. Even though you could tell who it was. It's because while he was dealing with all these smoking cigars, Arnold Schwarzenegger smokes cigars. He's one that covers cigar-efficient Auto. But how do you get him? You're new to it. If you're a guy, you know it's cool. And if you're a girl, oh, if you're a girl, you smoke a cigar. Woo, that's hot. Probably what that maid did to turn him on. Well, that's where cigars international comes into play. They have the largest selection, unbeatable prices, and customer service, experience, a second and none. Whether you're new to cigars or a seasoned aficionado. Cigars International takes enjoying cigars, makes them easy, approachable, and fun. And now, they're offering free everyday shipping on cigars international. No co-dominams. Cigars International is a go-to really for all retailer for all things cigars. Biggest selection. I love them. Don't go, he was out of them. Use my code "trippin" at checkout for 20% off your order of $50 or more. Or visit cigarsinternational.com, www.cigarsinternational.com/trippin and the discount will automatically apply. Guys, some exclusions of why. But it's a solid gift and a solid pickup. Let's get back to the episode. It's funny. Like, shoe people, people who love shoes, they're just like, they notice them. They notice stuff right away. That's why I'm with boobs. Yeah. I'm like, oh, great. A connoisseur. What does that say? I get weirded out. I'm appreciating it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to UB Trippin. It's a travel podcast. Every week a guest tells me about some place they've been that they really liked or they really hated or whatever. I don't know. I'm not created in Charlottes, Tom. Tom Papa, a great stand-up comedian as the guest today. He's got a special on Netflix right now. He's third special on Netflix. Home free. Home free. Fourth on Netflix. Third on Netflix. Third on Netflix. Third on Netflix. Home free. Yeah. Which home fries even in the running. Now. God, I'm home free. Where were you six months ago? You ever get a name for a special? I'm like, oh, thank you. That's good. Yeah. It's the thing we're worse that. Yeah, I didn't name this one. Really? Yeah. A friend of mine gave me the name. Is it from the special? Yeah, somewhat. It's just thematic. Yeah. Because my kids are gone from my home and I do have like this new freedom. Like I can go back to being that Tom before this whole experiment for 20 years. Wow. Yeah. They're all gone. That kid who's phone you look through? Yeah. Gone. Gone. That was a long time. That kid was in that story. It was like 10. Yeah, about that. Yeah, 10. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And now she's a woman like with a job and an apartment and doing her thing. And it's great. It's a very cool phase. But my house is, you know, you build it for this one thing. And then that those kids leave. And you're like, wait a minute, we, I say even in the special, like I did this all for you. And now you're going, you're going to go, I should go. You could have it all. Just give me a backpack with a, I say in the special, you can, just give me a backpack with a Van Halen CD and some weed. And I'll go back to the living life I was living before I met you. That's so funny. That's so funny. And you're like, I did this for you. Just Shane and O'Connor were at my apartment. We were barbecuing and they got into a, a friend fight. It's such dumb fucking junk shit. Yeah. And then this O'Connor stormed off. Shane was yelling about. I'm like, no, no, I just put shit on the grill at work it out. I just put food on the grill. I'm not ending this now. Yeah, he said. Yeah. I'm not ending this. I shopped. I shopped. I did all this. I got the utensils out. I have the spatula. Yeah. I fix it. So it is this phase. And it's not the whole special isn't that, but it does kind of like, it kind of is in a way because it kind of, I do have this freedom now to like go back to being myself. And that's just kind of like freed me up to just live a little bit more like I did before. Yeah. Are you, now that you are this, not just you want it in. Do you think about travel? I'm like, somebody's parents was retired and they're like, what are you going to do? Yeah. I'm like, go to Japan. Go to these places. I know. That, you know, it's funny. You say that. That's like, Japan is the number one on my list. Yeah. I mean, I love Italy. I'll always have go back to that. And there's, I mean, there's a ton of the world to see, but Japan for some reason is so much on my mind over the last year. You got to go then. That's a, that's the sun. Yeah. It's called, it's calling. Yeah. What about it? The mountains ski mountains are just more than the city. I just, whenever I see pictures of those trees and those flowers and the peaceful mountains, I just something about the mountain. I don't even, I haven't even researched. I just have in my head, I'm supposed to go the mountains of Japan. Wow. Yeah. And then somebody, and then you like, once you start like, I mean, maybe it's because more people are traveling there too, but you like know them from the comedy cell. It was just there. He went. And he just loved, he couldn't believe just how together all was and how peaceful and she's looking at that lovely. Yeah, look at that. That would be fucking great. He went, he went. Wow. The funny story he told me was that they have those, you know, they have those amazing Japanese toilets. Those automatic total toilets like in public restrooms in the city. Yeah. He's like, could you imagine having that in Washington Square Park? Like, how long would that last before people were just destroying it? I mean, no way, no way. We destroy everything. It's nice there. And he's like, that's the, that's the difference. Like we have to lock up our plant. Like, you know, those big elephant ear plants. Yeah. And they lock those up. Because he just gets stolen every night. Yeah, it's ridiculous. God, it's a fucking trash dump of a town. I mean, really, it really, it really is. He is so much. I love it so much. But man, is it is, we shouldn't be living like this. That was the cool. I'm doing a joke about somebody. And I'm like, who's seen one? It's always a few people who've seen one. I'm like, the answer should be none. I'm on subway masturbators. Oh god. I'm like, everybody. And we still live here. And I know you just casually have seen it and haven't moved. That should be like, you should be going after you see that you go back to your apartment and start packing. Just like, no, no, no way. I'm done. I mean, it is fantastic. But it's really also horrible. Yeah. And really, you shouldn't live like this. I mean, Adrian's moving. She's like, I can't handle anymore. I gotta do something. Really? I'm gonna leave here at some point. You did. I did. Yeah. I did. I want to, I want to come back and spend more time. But I don't think I would do it like without an escape hatch. Like, you know, for years, I went back and forth between New York and LA. Yeah. And, you know, it was good to kind of split it up. Like to completely shut down LA and come all in on New York all year. I don't know if I could do it. Yeah. I like where Ross does it. We have two places. And then I'll like, go do a gig in Kansas City. And then we're like, what's the weather? Like a new spot. Yeah. I'll go back to there. Yeah. He really seems to have it all figured out. Damn, except eyebrows. He's fucking got it. Yeah. I mean, maybe that was the sacrifice because everything else devil said I really dialed in. It just dialed in. That's such a great life. He really has a great life. I didn't just squint all the time. Yeah. You're not gonna get those, but you're gonna get to go to all the parties you want, sleep as ladies you want every day. It's just a casual bad for a fucking decades that just hasn't gone to a beast right on the edge. Yeah. You're handling it. Yeah. Friends with everybody. It's just it's really a marvel. So where are we going today? What should we do? Let's get into it. Bay Root. Well, yeah. Bay Root is an interesting one because I'm what a far away place. It's not like a London or a fucking even Australia. Yeah. And let me be clear. Yeah. I'm not a cool traveler. Like okay. This is good to know. I'm like I get nervous when I'm out of the country. I get like a little bit like going to customs. I always like want to be like the cool guy with a gene jacket and like a just a backpack in a camera. Yeah. And you just you're cool with whatever kind of scary people you run into. And I'm not that I get a little like. But where are we going? Okay. Is that cool? Is this is a? Yeah. I get a little nervous. I all adapt as the trip goes on. But I there's definitely a little anxiety as I'm going into a new place. How long does it take you to like like chill? Like okay. I think it's it once you get to a safe place that you thought might be dangerous. It's a yeah. Yeah. I mean like Brazil took me like a day and a half and I'm like, oh what did they tell me? This is fine. Yeah. You start to get the vibe and the rhythm. Yeah. About that. Like a couple days. But this trip was I was never really that I got pretty comfortable. But the thing about it was a stand-up trip. Okay. And I met I met and put together this tour. It was a two two stop tour in Dubai and Beirut. And this was like 20 years. eleven or so and forget all of the characters that were on it. Whitney Cummings was on it. Tommy Davidson was in one of them, I think. I've spaced out his name in this comic from Canada. Now, Russell Peters. No, he does it. We're at the end. Jerry. Jerry D. Jerry D. He was on it. So the first stop you're going to fly from New York to Dubai. You've never been anywhere at this point. I've been to Europe and Jamaica and Mexico and Canada, those places. I've never been anywhere in the Middle East. This had to be like 2010. Yeah, like 11, 12. Yeah, like in there. And I'm excited for Whitney to go on a group tour. Where would that have been in her career? Yeah, exactly. We were both like, yeah, we weren't, we were still taking a gig like that. Yeah. And the other way for stand-up to be able to get you to these like crazy places. So great. Whenever, whenever I'm in a situation like my wife and I have this thing, whenever we find ourselves like in a nice hotel or a new place at a certain point, one of us will go, thank you, comedy. Yeah. Yeah. That's like our, so cool. Our thanks. You know, yeah. I mean, there's no way I'm booking a trip to Dubai in Beirut because as a kid, I was not one trip. You would have planned. Right. No. That's two trips. And why? Yeah. As a kid, what were you going to say? As a kid, I remember seeing like the Beirut bombing. And seeing that in the news. And I'm not even sure if it was in real time where I just learned about it as I got a little older as a kid, but just seeing those horrific when they bombed the embassy and they're just taking soldiers out of the rubble and like this was in my mind not just Beirut, but all of the Middle East. It was really scary place. Yeah. Middle East kind of gets the Africa rep where they just like put it as one country. Yes. No differences between governments or exactly or anything. It's just all lumped together. Yeah. The Middle East to a kid that grew up like hearing about the hostages or Beirut or any of that kind of stuff was, you know, just a just in general, a big scary play. Yeah. Those breakthroughs. Right. Hi, everybody. Are you sure if you're here breaking in and tell you a little bit about today's guests? Compoppies. One of the all time great dudes and comedies. Everybody's best friend. It should be. He's also kind of under the radar. One of the most prolific comments working. He's got seven stand-up comedy specials. The last three of which are on Netflix. I think one of the old ones is on Netflix too. Check out any of them. You're doing great, which is I guess that's one who had most closely tied to the theme for my last special America sweetheart, which kind of guys the focus of the positives. What a day and live in New York City is last one. He's got books out. You're doing great. We're all in this together. You've dad stole my break and it's podcast breaking bad that I've been on. Check them out at Tom Papa comedy on YouTube. Instagram @TomPapa and Tom Papa dot com where you can see all his tour dates starting tonight. February 16th. This is Hilton Head North, South Carolina. Then February 19th. He moves on to Fort Lauderdale, the Broward County Center for performing arts. What's Broward County? That's where all the cops were filmed. He's pretty much only doing giant theaters. So see them. If there's tickets available, Stewart Florida, Jacksonville, Florida, Nash and Tucket, Connecticut, Salt Lake City, Evans, Utah, Hutchinson, Kansas, Pensacola, Florida, Orlando, Florida, Fort Myers, Florida, Dayton, Ohio, Cleveland, Columbus, Las Vegas, Bethlehem, then in April. He's at Huntington at the Paramount for two shows. I played there. Mike Vecchion, great shows. April 30th in Skokie, Illinois, the home of the Jews near Chicago. They don't live in Chicago. Why would they? No, this is better Jews than Skokie. Jolie, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the PAPS Theater. Great theater. Tom asks those guys about about a, about a, put your blister on the sun. I'm fucking lost out here. I can't remember anybody's names, anybody's, some of the V, right? Anyway, ask them about them. They have stories, go lore. You'd love it. It's probably the best green room in theaters. And in Los Angeles, at the Netflix is a joke festival at the Wilshire Eble Theater on May 5th and July 10th Atlantic City. July 18th Great Barrington, Massachusetts. Get all tickets at tompapa.com. For myself, I just like you to follow me on Instagram at R.E. Shafir or the podcast as well, which is a fun way to follow the podcast. And you get extra pictures from the guests that might not be up there a little, little clipper too here or there. And that's kind of it. At Yubi ChippenPod, please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. Yubi ChippenPod on YouTube. Hit the like and subscribe button. Smash, what does that say? Smash the like button. Smash subscribe. This guy is a lucky Lou, for sure. See, I had to turn my back fully. He sees the mic, slows down completely, staring over there. It's very embarrassing. I'm done with this. Let's get back to the episode by some merch, please. Yeah, so the trip starts amazing. I'm in JFK by myself and I get on an Arab Emirates flight business class. Oh, they flew you like that. Never been on that. One time, I got bumped up and they put me into a middle seat. But I was in the middle of throwing a shit fit, just being a real jerk. Like, I don't know. I see I want to be able to sleep so I can have a window seat. Yeah. And like, search for, look at the ticket. And it was like, oh, nice. Yeah. I was like full reclined. I'm like, oh, insane. God, it feels good. You just don't want the flight to end. You don't. This had like these pods. And Emirates is like Emirates is, I mean, no joke. Like, to fast forward to the end of the story when I came back. And after flying Emirates and then in this your own pod, there was one other guy. There was one other guy. It was like a double-decker thing. And there was one other guy like way over there. I like, I looked up for my cubicle. I was, we were alone. And the staff of these flight attendants who were just gorgeous. And in those beautiful uniform, we read things with a little like shawl. Yeah, that little that little veil. And they were bored. So they just were waiting on us to pop your head up. They were just like waiting to serve you. Like, there's two meals. There's like a dinner and then a breakfast and a cocktails. I mean, it was like you had a harem. Wow. It was insane. And then after all of that experience going there and back, I landed in in San Francisco and I had to connect on American Eagle. I mean, yeah, yeah. And it was like, oh, the carpets are all torn up and the flight attendants are like 70 years old and just pissed off at you. We're grandfathered in, shut up, shut down. I was like, whoa, all right. That was like a real wake-up call to like just the the airport that all of it was just like, oh, we're behind. I grew up thinking we're like ahead. We're so far behind. Did you have the thing when they get over like Arab airspace? They go, okay, we're covering up her hair. Take the alcohol off the tables. No, I didn't recognize that. They do that and then they do the other way. Like if you land in like Doha, it'll be like that and they'll put and then like they take off and then like, we're clean. Like, who wants booze? Wow, really. Yeah, that is kind of the the interesting part of it all. Like, we landed in Dubai and this one girl was really friendly and there was anything like, like hook up kind of friendly, but she was she was kind of like, wanted to come to the show and all that kind of stuff and like on the plane, she was just like, you know, talking to an American. And then when I saw her when we were performing, she was with her boyfriend and she was completely in the when we had when we were on her way there, someone a couple had gotten put in jail because they were holding hands on the street. Wait, what? Yeah. In UAE Dubai. Dubai is what country's that? That's the country. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah. For holding hands on the street. A young couple. So when I saw her, she wasn't like the cool like flight attendant anymore. It was like very stoic and just kind of watching what she was saying and it kind of Kirk Fox was on it. Kirk Fox was on this on this because the two of us rented a car. Dubai is UAE. I was right. I knew it was something like that. It's a city, right? Dubai and then what's the other one? There's another big city there. Yeah. Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi. Yeah. Right. Where they've Camel races. - Really? - Mm-hmm. - Wait, so wait, it's God, arrested for holding hands. - For holding hands. - And Aunt Mary, that's a deal. - Was that the problem? - Yeah. - Are they still, wow. - Yeah. - 10 years ago. 12, 13 years ago. - And no drinking, no alcohol, unless you go to the hotels. And if you go to the hotels for some reason, they have nightclubs in the hotel. In the hotels for, I guess, expats, but it's just like a loophole. So everyone out in the city, you can't get alcohol, you can't do anything. Everyone's very stoke, you can't even hold hands. Then they get into these hotels and they go into the club and it's bottle service and everybody's doing everything. - Wow, did you drink then? - I drank a little. - You're not a club guy. - I'm not a club guy. - You would be a bar guy if anything. - I'd be like a mix or whatever. - My favorite bars, yeah. Places that look like they should have closed down 15 years ago. - Yeah. - With one old guy at the van. - They tore it up. - They tore it up. - Mixed orally, they have old wish bones for kids to come home from the Vietnam Wars. I'm like that. And I'm like, that's like meat, though. You shouldn't have that out this long. - Yeah. - Real, real bad. - Yeah, this is, there's no health code. Like they don't even inspect it anymore. (laughs) Those are my places. I like that. I'm not a club guy. I've never been to a club in the US. I don't think-- - I don't do it well here. - Vegas, he fucking-- - There it was annoying. You know the worst part for us, if you've been to these, like the last festival or any other kind of stuff, we wanna talk and hear each other and make each other laugh. And we love stories and we love each other. And then you get into a place where they just bam that music. That's for people who can't carry on conversations. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And they do this in this conversation. - The stand-up do after parties and they'll blare it. And you're like, can we have downstairs and feel like we eat in low-level classic rock? - Yeah, exactly. - Exactly. It's so, it's so the opposite of what we need. - It's for the four new faces who are like, what's dance? (laughs) - Yeah, no, we need to be able to talk. And that's our love. - Sometimes we've been in a makeshift green room which is just really like a hallway in some venue with like concrete slab. You can all pick up a slab here and sit down and you're just talking to your buddy. Like, this is great. - This is perfect. - Yeah, perfect. - Yeah, you don't even need food or drink. - You don't even need broccoli. - I know. (laughs) - Yeah, but those places, but it was kind of like, you really quickly, and I remember being in the hotel watching this Saudi channel, and it was like, - Oh, that's cool. - It was all men in a room dancing with each other and like, 'cause there could be no women in the thing. And it was like, so like, they have all of these rules, but they're all kind of like, they bend them, you know? - Oh, yeah. It was just like, outside or shit? - Yeah, yeah. - Like guys like this are weird. - What's that? - Weird. - This is just like, they're like, we're gonna be touristy. We'll give you a thing, that's how we succeed. - Yeah, but it's also for them. Like, they also, they bend the rules. Yeah, it was them, that was the thing. It wasn't all, like, expats. It was all of the kids from Dubai were there, and they could do it too. - But they just have to be in the tourist areas? - Yeah, you gotta go into these zones. And that's where we did our comedy was outdoor in the, it was called like the free zone or something. And it was a zone in the park where they were doing shows of all different kinds in like a city park on a stage. And you were allowed to say things and present things that you could in outside of the free zone around the, in the rest of the city. Still there were limits, it was like-- - Did they give you, like-- - You can't talk about this with us. - Yeah, there was, don't talk about this or that. Don't talk about the, whatever the ruling family was. No jokes about them, no jokes about-- - No jokes about culture and the Arabs. You know, there was like, it was clear, like, and also, I don't know if it was, I think it was one of those, like, you could drop an F bomb but not two. You know what I mean? Like that kind of a thing, like, don't. It was, you know, pretty tight. - It's gotta be tough when you're in a place that have to think about your words for the first time. Like you're kind of, actually, on the higher level of comedians who, like, well, like, you're, you're pretty clean. - Yeah. - With not 100% I don't know. - Yeah, pretty clean. - But like, yeah, so, but like, you barely think about, like, what can I say, you're just thinking, like, is this funny or not? - Yeah. - For the most part. - For the most part, 'cause I don't really, yeah, I don't really, I don't swear a lot in my life. So I don't really bring it to the stage that much. But there are, but there are, like, when I do corporate gigs here in the States, and when they're really strict, and they're like, no sex, like, not even the words, but like, no sex, no language, no religion, of course, that kind of stuff. When you're doing it, you know, when you're doing it, things pop up and you're like, oh, wait, that's, this could, this one might be a problem. - Oh, so you do have a problem. - This one might be a problem. You know, I do this joke about finding out our family history through DNA tests, and I'm like, we're German and Italian and French. Where the French come from, and my mother goes, oh, secret's out, your grandmother was a whore. - Yeah. - And, and that joke in a clean, corporate environment, that's like a very innocuous joke, that's like, that's very light. - Yeah. - In a certain, I did what corporate gig recently, and it was like, it really stood out. - Wow. - That all of a sudden, in that environment, that joke, then in a nightclub, it's just hilarious, it's just funny, according to the audience. - Yeah. - And, it just doesn't, you wouldn't even think twice. - That's so crazy. You're right, the environment completely changes how it's - Completely. - Completely. And that's when I realized, when I, I had done one, a college years ago, and I was, they were like, hired me because I was clean, but then it was like, oh no, they mean clean at another level. Like, you don't even mention. - Yeah, Nate has his rules, he's like, you gotta be Christian clean. He's like, I like everybody, do whatever, but like, I made a deal with my audience. - Yeah. - It's gonna be Christian clean. - Yeah, which means you don't even. - No, in you window. - No, in you window, right? Yeah. - Really, I don't even think you could do, like, poop talk. - Mm-hmm. - Like, you'd have to do it. I don't know, I'd have to ask him. I don't know what Christian clean is. - I know. - So, these countries, you're like, give me the, say it. - Yeah. - Take exactly what you mean. - Just tell me what you don't want. - What I can do. - The most strict one ever was when I did one for NASCAR. - Yeah. - And, they gave you a printed list. A printed list of like, 50 things that you do not say. - And then, like, you must be racist at least once. (laughs) - Just for flavor. - Alright, let's go to Beirut, though. - So, we're in Beirut, and- - And this is where you did the show? You're talking about, or that was Dubai. - And we did the show in Dubai. - Okay. - And in that zone, and my new friend from the airplane was there with her boyfriend and was like, being very stoic, and after the set, I, like, came by the fence, (laughs) and they were like, that was enjoyable. - Wait, they separated men and women? - No, no, no, they were together. They were there. No hand holding, but they were, like, a couple. And, you know, you stay in this beautiful hotel. Kirk Fox and I rented a car, and just went for a drive on an afternoon, just to see what this was. And when you called up that aerial thing, like that weird, it looks like a palm. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Like, they just built this. - It's a Vegas. - What the fuck is this? - Alright, when we were there, that was- - That was after there was like the financial crash? - So they built a fucking Palm Island? - Yeah. - It shaped like a, can you see it when you're not- - You can, when you, we drove it. - Oh really? - So you're kind of like driving. It's almost like, if you ever been down to like, Southern Florida, like on the west, on the East Coast, like Boca and all that kind of, like kind of have like these little adjuncts. - Can I click on it? - It kind of feels like that. So Kirk and I got in this car and we just drove. It was such a fun day. - God, it's so fucking nuts. - Yeah. - I mean, this is just, it's a, they made an island that looks like a palm tree. - Yeah. - And then this one, you saw that one up here that looks like the whole fucking world. - Yeah, they just made a bunch of- - I think that's what we drove. - It was bizarre and this was a time, there was a financial crash and people were leaving cars at the airport and just vacating. All these businessmen, rather than stay and have to deal with your debt and stuff, they just would fly to the airport, leave the car and just get out of the country. It was like this financial, pretty cool. - Yeah, it was kind of insane. - Wow. - It was really a wild place. - I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. - I'll race you. - I'm you in finance. - Hey, how are you? - And each week I'm in different towns across the country to extend up comedy and to keep me from riding in my bed or putting a gun to my head. - I get you to teach me how to do your jobs. - Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com. - Come, slash Ian Fightance Comedy. Every other Tuesday produced by YMH. - I got a rip apart, too, bro. - Let it loose, too, too. - I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? (upbeat music) - Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. - Hey, guys. Today's episode of "You Would Chippin' Us" brought to you by my favorite sponsor, shopify.com, who I use, whom I use. I'm sorry, to get all my, everything, all my online sales are there. 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No, it's not 'cause he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if he was this full-blooded marriage child. It's 'cause while he was dealing with all these smoking cigars, Arnold Schwarzenegger smokes cigars. He's one of the covers of cigar-efficient auto. But how do you get 'em? You're new to it. Ooh, that's hot. Probably what that maid did. Turn 'em on. They have the largest selection, unbeatable prices and customer service, experience, a second and none. Whether you're new to cigars or seasoned, efficient auto. cigars international, takes and joins cigars, makes 'em easy, approachable and fun. No cosmonyms. Cigars international is a go-to really for all, retailer for all things cigars. Biggest selection. I love 'em. I can't go, he was out of 'em. Use my code "trippin' at checkout" for 20% off your order of $50 or more, or visit cigarsinternational.com, www.cigarsinternational.com. Slash trippin' and the discount will automatically apply. Guys, some exclusions apply. Oh, Sebastian was on it. What a time, that was. Sebastian was on it. Yeah, that really takes you before 2014. Yeah. For everybody was just like emerging. Yeah. And yes, Sebastian was on it, 'cause he kept making fun of me. 'Cause I, the sun is different there. The sun is enormous. It's, and it's hot, it's so hot. And we were all like hanging out at the pool. You know, there's nothing to do there. Kirk and I went for a ride and then it was just hanging out at this pool on this rooftop. Yeah. And Sebastian kept making fun of me 'cause I was reading my Kindle. I was reading a book on my Kindle. And you know, Sebastian was like, "What are you doing with that Kindle?" (laughing) He was mocking me for that. (laughing) But I remember the sun looking so different. What do you mean? That sunset, it was like, you know, you see like nice sunsets and whatever. This sun in the Middle East looks 10 times the size. I guess where you were at and the horizon just goes on forever. It just looked massive and hot. And if you felt like a word in the Middle East, this is desert, this is different. Was it broiling there? Yeah. It looked so hot. We would try and like hang at the pool for a while and you know, it was like Phoenix kind of, you know, when you get those. Yeah. Like that kind of thing. It's gonna make sense. Yeah, it doesn't make sense at all. 94 is too much and it's like 20 more degrees. And you're like, "What?" My doctor gave me Ambien. That was the first time I took Ambien. Why? So you could like wake up and run. To reset the clock. 'Cause the time difference was so different. Did you have any of the fun stuff? No. No. I just, I just conked out. I didn't, I don't think I walked around. That would be high risk and if I could go outside and just start holding some girl's hands. See how much you get away with it. I touched nine, no regrets. (laughing) Mr. Papa, we have footage of you. I was asleep. That really is. It makes everyone look at that. I'm from Spider-Man. It's so funny to tell, yeah. It's so funny to tell the story and all these faces are coming back. Like what? Like Sebastian Kirk and Whitney and. It's fun to talk about these things and you do remember as you go. Yeah, yeah. Someone will say, "What about that guy?" Especially if you took a trip with somebody. Yeah. And they're like, "Oh, right that guy." And then you would mind them of some part of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 'cause it's too much to keep in your head. So that was like the beginning of the trip and then we were gonna go to Beirut and do the same thing, have a show over there. And this was like a small opening of when Beirut was at peace. And their long civil war was over and they had like, they were opening up to the West, which is not commonplace. It was like this little blip of time where they were doing it. I do remember being on the flight from Dubai to. Beirut and there was no Israel on the in flight map. Wow. They were listing everything as you're flying over it and stuff. And like on the screen? Yeah, it was not listed. Wow. I was like, eh, okay. That's what it means like we don't recognize you as a country. That's what it means. Yeah. It's 100% you don't know where you're at. Arab Emirates. Wow, interesting. Interesting. And you land in Beirut and you know, nervous Tom is, I'm having a good time and with all my friends and we're doing all right. Yeah. And yeah, look at that. And we land at night. That's scary. And as soon as you get to the airport, it's Ellis Island, crowds of families greeting their loved ones coming to the airport. And the airport, all of a sudden we went from Dubai, which is space age in the future, Vegas, brand new, making your own islands. And now we're in like, I would say like the 1960s architecture run down, it hasn't been painted. It looks like burned out. It hasn't been painted or fixed, yeah. And all of these just hordes of people and it's not a huge airport by any means, but it's very, very foreign and they're all waiting for their loved ones to come on the plane. Like you would have like in earlier times when it's like a big, it's such a big deal that someone's on a plane that the whole family goes to get them. To get like, wow, welcome. It's so great. Now I remember those days and now it's like, get an Uber. We'll see you tomorrow. Exactly. Yeah, what would it take to go? pick someone up at the airport yeah and it was just packed and it was like night time so you know in every airport by the time it's night you've gone through the whole day it's sweaty it's hot it's it's just it's just chaos yeah just marching to the end of the day and we all get off the plane and get our stuff and we get into these into a cab and Whitney and I are in a cab a couple other people and we're all kind of split up and the guy and we're driving on these streets and it's all it's just that crazy driving you know we always think like oh it's nuts around here like if you're in LA or whatever and you're it's like people don't know how to drive it's like we got it pretty dialed in people are kind of following the rules like there it's like you know it's like whole families on a moped and go in the opposite direction and they're cutting each other off and no one's upset that you're getting cut off or someone's coming right at you because that's just how you drive you know you just don't get each other it's just you know those places and as we're driving the guy who's driving us I guess it wasn't a cab because it was this guy was driving when he was asking us he said I need your passports and I'll bring them back to you tomorrow but we need your passports to get through the whatever permitting and business stuff we had to do to perform there and Whitney was like hell no why was she worried about I'm not giving my pat do you look around us or you're just gonna give them our pat we're never gonna go home again like how are we ever gonna get out of here if something goes wrong what do you mean no effing way am I giving you my passport kind of smart and I'm like that's kind of smart but the guy says we got to give it to him but he did ask for him so I don't know yeah and I think Ahmed was probably telling us it would be okay and it took some time but and I'm kind of watching you know Whitney's such a boss I'm like I'm gonna do what she's gonna do yeah you know I would love to see I'm that hubby be Whitney it's doing it like the air of a man really coming out trust me trust me bro bro yeah we do all the time and and Whitney just like so she decided what I guess we have to do it but you know so we gave them our passport and they brought us to this hotel and again like older kind of like could have been something at one time yeah and I think we got our passports back the next day and that was all fine but now we're discovering Beirut you know and we had it we had a couple of days there I think like we had a full day and then the next day we did the show and would you get in there left how did you find it it was pretty wild I mean this place you know we were right on the beach like there was like this airy you know like go out to we weren't on the beach like swimming and stuff but there's like this big concrete it looked like a place that like when you see pictures of Cuba or these places where for a minute they were like boom I mean they call it the Paris of the Mediterranean right and it was like a gorgeous gorgeous place and my wife is Lebanese oh really her father was Lebanese and you know there's a there was there was a lot of you know I learned from the history of it you know what it was at one time it was like the place the place was the Paris limitally it really was all the academia was there and and the arts and it's beautiful right there on the sea and gorgeous but whenever the shit went down and it went down they were in civil war for a long time and you walk around Whitney and I had a day where we walked the city and you know they're older buildings every building had bullet holes in it wow everyone was just fighting on the streets and stuff they were just yeah and it's you know the Arabs and the Christians in Beirut and even when we were there it was like there was like the Christian part of it which was seemed like a little more modern and then there was the Arab streets which was like martyrs you know like you got it felt more ghettoized you know and it was like big banners across the street of the martyrs who had dedicated their life and all that kind of stuff and it was like wow to like promote a mart or the martyrs like they were all different fucking time different I mean imagine that fucking sorry I'm cursing so much Roger but that that guy who went up at the MGM or whatever child those people I'm actually having a plaque to him yeah this was their struggle and they were seen as if you gave your life and they were it would look like you know here in New York like Little Italy when you go to like Mott Street or you go to you know Mulberry and like they have those kind of like frilly things across the street you know and they just look Italian whatever it was like that but with faces of the people who had given their life to the cause and they're looking at you a little differently than when you're in the other section you know and it really just gave you this feeling gave me this feeling that they're all cool right now like everything's okay but they're not interacting they're but there's like it's definitely segmented off and it felt like all right this is kind of all right but if anything goes wrong like it's I for some reason my head because of the driving I was thinking if a Christian cab driver hit an Arab kid like some kind of accident like that it I could see the place just going off well like everyone was kind of in there and but you know they'd been each other for years decades right so it just kind of had that vibe to it I guess you know who's cool that's right we're all thinking the same guy Arnold Schwarzenegger and you know why school now some of you might have the wrong answer here no it's not because he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if he was this full-blooded marriage child no it's not that at all even though you could tell who's no it's not that at all it's because it while he was dealing with all these smoke to cigar so Arnold Schwarzenegger smokes the guards he's one that covers cigar aficionado but how do you get him you're new to it if you're a guy you know it's cool and if you're a girl oh if you're a girl you smoke a cigar oh that's hot probably what that made it turn them on but how do you get him well that's for cigars international comes into play they have the largest selection unbeatable prices and customer service experience a second and not whether you're new to cigars or seasoned aficionado cigars international takes and joins cigars makes them easy approachable and fun and now they're offering free everyday shipping on cigars international no cozy minimum cigars international the go-to really for all retailer for all things cigars biggest election I love gone go he was out of them use my code tripping it check out for 20% off your order of fifty dollars or more or visit cigars international dot com www dot cigars international dot com slash tripping in the discount will automatically apply guys I some exclusions of life but it's a solid it's a solid gift and a solid pickup let's get back to the episode I was in Egypt it felt like it's like oh it's about to get dangerous here like tourism it just plummeted from a few terrorist attacks and then they were like desperate for for tourism so yeah walking down there like I'm fucking hungry can you please take a boat ride whoa shut like and I was like oh this is about to get it's just like you can feel a powder keg sometimes that sounds like that yeah you feel like you know can't really see it's a sense yeah and as you're walking around so then you know Whitney and I are walking through she didn't feel unsafe being a chick no and Whitney was interesting and she was she was dressed she had her horse with her she had and she had big sunglasses yeah and like a cool like headband and her like a half shirt like her midwreff was out she's just like a movie star and she was just kind of like strutting around and we were just half shirt that didn't matter we were pretty much new friends and you know we were just we were just friends and there was nothing my wife hates when I tell this story but there was nothing like flirtatious with us like we were just like really enjoying ourselves and there you know I think yeah I was married and so there was no like thing as we're walking around the city then we went to a mosque and we walked into this mosque and they stopped us and said she had to cover up and they put her in the garb from the floor up like just her eyes were out one of those and she had to walk behind me she had to stay with me and be one step behind me and as we're touring this beautiful lots what a double what yeah so you went from do you have a picture of Whitney in a in that I might you got a set of time I might I'll ask if for the love of the Lord, but I gotta put that up right now. - Yeah, I might. - Oh my god. - Yeah, I'm sure I just the eyes coming out. - Just her eyes, and walk behind you. - And I'm telling you, I know this is weird, but it's truthful. Like I said, we're spending this whole day with this American movie star, and there was no sexual thing when she was my property, walking around. At one point I turned to her and I go, we gotta get out of here and get you out of that, because all of a sudden, it was like, what do you mean? I have a woman at my, (laughing) I'm like, this is not making sense. (laughing) - That's a thought good, like I like this. Yeah, stay back then. - Yeah, I was like, oh, is this part of why this is happening? Like, you know what I mean? - Wow, I mean, just to have a where that is nuts, and then it will walk behind the man, but you're not even married. - We're not like, but we are equals. - But we're not like, she wasn't patrolled to me. - But we're in a mosque, you know what I mean? That's as serious to the religious teachings that you're gonna get. - Can you take your shoes off when you go in there? - I believe so. There was like a carpet, it was gorgeous. It was like the most beautiful mosque in Beirut. It was really something. So then, so we got there and got back to normal, and just went about our thing, and Whitney wanted to go get some like jewelry, some like beads and, you know, stuff-- - Chachkis. - Chachkis. And we go walking down by this one like towards the water. - Yeah. - And we walk down, and there's this big shrine in the middle of like a circle, like Columbus Circle kind of area. It's like a big flame kind of thing. And it was a memorial at that circle was where the Syrian, I think it was the Syrian leader, got blown up in a car bomb. And not too long before, like we were there, like a couple of years before. And, is that it? - I don't know. The Muhammad Allah, I mean mosque. - Yeah, it looks like it. - There you go. - Wait, really so they had a plack to them? - No, so a car bomb had killed this leader, forgive me, but I think it was-- - Syrian Lebanon, like in bed sort of? - Yeah. - Like Austria, Germany kind of. - And there was somebody that was running, I think maybe against Assad, or I don't know. I don't really know, but they wanted him out. They had a car bomb and they killed him. He was an emerging leader. Sorry, the hotels around this little square that were still standing, but they were damaged from the car bombs. You could see through the hotel to the sea. It was Swiss cheese. There was nothing there. Like it was, I was like, this is from one car bomb, took all of these buildings and just obliterated them. Forget what he did to the leader they were going after. - After what the fuck, they wanted to be sure, huh? - So powerful, so scary that this would be from one car bomb. Wow, we walked into this little shop. - Should just pull up that car. - That's crazy. - How much do you need to do that? - So powerful, terrifying. So we walked into this little shop right off that little circle and there's like a little guy in there and he's got like, it's like a canal street filled with stuff, you know, beads and clothing and little stuff and we're buying stuff and he's like shopping for his jewelry and whatever and we start a conversation with the guy and he's literally 50 feet from where this car bomb went off and he asks, where are you from? And we said Los Angeles and he goes, "Oh, I could never live there, too scary." (laughing) - That's crazy. - Earthquakes, oh no way, I could never do that. - Oh my God, what are you-- - He's two feet from where this car bomb went off. They've been in a civil war forever but it really put it in perspective and it put the whole trip in perspective. - It will work. - Because I went into the trip thinking the fear of the Middle East, the boogeyman of all this stuff that I had learned, it's because it was unknowable to me. He's thinking the same thing about L.A. 'Cause he, one visit, he'd be cool with it. - Right, yeah, there must be earthquakes every day and more people coming out of the ground. - You just see new snippets, I mean we even have it here, like when Portland was having trouble and was like, it's a hellhole and I went and performed there and was like, my daughter and I, yeah, there's like a couple blocks and people are losing it and the rest of everyone's having fun. It's always the unknowable stuff and I try and keep that in mind as the nervous traveler. It's like, it's always the story that hits you when you're not there. Me and DeVito went in Kansas City and this cab driver, or Uber driver, like young black kid and we're like, all right, there's picture Kansas City, whatever and he goes, where are you going? We had to go from way up where they improbable as down to into the city. Like what should we do? And we're like, we're both sober right now so we're not drinking and he's like, okay, well, he goes, yeah, me too. He goes, hey, we're passing my mega church right now. That's where I go to church. Like, okay, so this is a Christian good person, like 25 year old, like, you know. And then, and then we're like, we don't drink. He's like, well, if you're looking for something fun, actually, if you're comfortable with your heterosexuality, like the gay area is like really fun, you don't have to drink, like, I wouldn't have expected a Kansas City Christian to say that's just a fun part of town. But it's just like not the story I'm getting about them. And then some other cab driver was like, hey, you guys from New York, how is it there? It was like a hellhole, I'm like, no, what have you heard? It's totally fine. And I'm like, we're getting bad stories about each other. - Always, I mean, every time I go to Austin, they're like, oh, LA, what's going on over there? I don't know, a lot of sunblock. - Yeah, same guy. Same shit. - Same shit. - Yeah, same stuff, but when you're not around, and also when you want it to be the story. - That's the thing too, I have to tell all those guys, like, no, the store's on great, the connoisseurs packed. But I don't know what you're talking about. I keep going, it's packed. - They want it to be not as good. Turns out it's one of the top five most populated cities in America, so you can fill up a club. - Yeah, every day. - And we've got amazing comics here. - And there's a thousand guys and show business that are showing up and showing the shows. - Chicago shows are full. - You think LA shows for him and Bobby Lee and Staten, we're not going to get full? - Of course, it's, yeah, and Alley Wong's just popping down and it's a Sebastian. And yeah, people always, the stories are inaccurate, and you got to go to these places to really see what you say. - That's so much fun. - So what'd you do when you're there also, would you get the food, what were the toilets like, what was the food like? - We, we took a, they-- - They want to see the theaters of Lebanon. The theaters of Lebanon is a famous thing, 'cause these mountains that are cedar trees, and they make a lot of things from the cedars of Lebanon. And you'll hear a lot of like Middle Eastern restaurants in the city who will be called cedars of Lebanon, and it's gorgeous. And we went up there and they took like this little tram, they took it up into the, yeah, they're there. I think that's exactly where we were. - Really? - Yeah, it's just, it's like a famous little park and they take you up and there's like these caves. It looks like Whitney on that trip. And it was a really beautiful day. Like you got to see all of this. - Yeah. - But again, it was like, it was kind of like, the Olympics had been there like 50 years ago is the feeling. Like if you go to see like Lake Placid, you know, it's like, oh, they still have some of the remnants of when the big thing happened here. It kind of like the tram's older, you know what I mean? Like it feels like, you know, Shae Stadium in 1969 or something. - Then look at that cold. - Yeah, I guess. I don't know. We weren't there when it was, yeah, I guess. I mean, it's pretty high up. - Yeah, I guess so, damn. - Yeah, I don't picture it. - And they drove us up and we spent this really nice day just seeing it. It was gorgeous. But then they took us down to the sea and this family, I guess through Ahmed and the, there was a promoter also with Ahmed, who was like from there, who was like, putting the show together. - Oh, that's far from the water. Cedars of Lebanon's way out there. - Yeah. - That's interesting. - Well, it's not, the place isn't all that big, you know. - Oh yeah, good point. - So then they took us to this lunch on the water and man, you really got it. It was like a modern place. - Oh no. - Sea food. - Yeah. - And we're just sitting out in the sun, the water sparkling. We're eating the best seafood I've had in my life. They just keep bringing it out. And they're just, it's like, oh man, what this place could have been. What this really, in peace, this would be, I mean, we am awfully coast, you know? - That's what they call the Paris in the ocean, right, Paris in the water? - Paris of the Middle East. - Yeah. But what was the vibe for when they eat? Was that the thing of like, we're just gonna keep fucking feeding you, feeding you, feeding you? - Yeah, but it wasn't like a, it was like, this was, this was where like the people who had money would go. This was a little fancier, this was, and they just kept bringing out course after course. I remember like these big prawns and just eating all this food. and it was, and the other eating thing we had at night, one of the nights there, there's like this main square, like after our show and stuff, we went and there was just like all these restaurants and just tons of young people at long tables, just eating all this beautiful like PETA and hummus, like you've never had, you know, and just so great and young people I was with a kid from a Palestinian kid in Beirut and he was just like informing us about their life and all and they were all so at the show here on the coast, they were so happy that we were there and they wanted more people from the west to come and they've been watching Seinfeld, like that's their favorite TV show, you know, this Jewish Manhattan TV show, you know, that's their main thing, they're like we just want to be a part of what we couldn't be a part of for all these years. Tell your friends to come, this is a beautiful place and it really, really was and then within a couple of years it fell back and it went back into a really dangerous spot. There's that great Bourdain, one of Bourdain shows, he's there when the bombing starts when there was there. Yeah, he was in a hotel in Beirut and it's like, and that feeling that I had, like you were talking about of like trouble could happen, you watched it on what happened more some more. I don't remember who was bombing or was it an attack? I think maybe it was Hezbollah and Israel or something was, I think that's what it was and it was when I was watching, I was like, oh yeah, they were, they couldn't leave the hotel. Anthony looked concerned and they were kind of stuck there for five days. The airport was shut and you're like, I just hope that I can get out of here. Yeah. It's a real shame because the people were like the rich people at the, at the sea and the young people at the square, they were all just people and they just were like, they like culture and they want more of the western culture and they wanted to us to enjoy what they had and just, they're just people in these circumstances that prevent that all from happening. It's terrible. I love seeing a group like what you're saying, a group of young people talking about world events or just ideas, you know, like what type of government's best and they're all 26 year olds and it's like smoking their rolled cigarettes and you can cough, you're playing back at them and they're like talking about it passionately. Yeah. And it's just like, they do it in Paris long the river, they do it there, they do it in like off year long the river. It's just like, it's just like, damn you guys are cool. I know. I know and you're smart and you care and you feel like you can make a change here about things. It's almost like a young Bob Dylan, you know, I know and they were all going to go to a nightclub. There was like a club on top of a thing where they all want to go and I think some of our group went, but I went back to the hotel. I was like, I've done enough weekends with Rogan and Vegas. We're now like, oh, have fun, you guys. Like, like, I don't like it 50 straight times. I don't have to experiment. I know what that is. It's all right. Guys, go have a great time going to walk around. Yeah. I know. And I used to tour with live from here, which is Prairie Home Companion. And it was the first time I was touring with other people, like musicians and all these other people. And there would be a bit party after every show and no one going too crazy. It wasn't like real big club stuff, but you're up late and you're drinking and everyone has a flight at seven. And I was like, you're, you're, you know, you're wrecked. And I would watch a couple of people were just like, no, I'm not going to go. Good night. I'm going to my room. I was like, you can do that. You can just go to bed. I like to Irish it. I like to just like, I don't want to make a thing. I know I'm leaving. I know someone's going to try to talk me out of it for no reason. It won't miss even going on. I know. Talk to me tomorrow. I had the opposite of it. I went to Sarah Silverman, had a party, that she has all, with all comedians every year. And I was like, I got to say goodbye to Sarah. And instead of just slipping out. So I went to the host of the party and said I'm leaving. And she was like, so bummed out that I was like, I was like, I never should have. Why am I announcing that I'm going home? Yeah, that I'm done with this. I had a great time. It was wonderful. I got to see all these great people. And I would blew it by being like, I'm going home before the lights go out. Yeah. Yeah. If you leave without saying anything, you're still in their minds. You're there for another 40 minutes. They don't have no idea when you left. Everybody's like, I guess he's across the. Yeah, exactly. Across the room. Yeah. So what were the bathrooms like over here? They root. Super. It's cool that you went during the specific time. Yoshi went to Kabul, a couple times during the occupation. And it's almost reminded me of like what it would have been like in Germany, when Germany was occupying Paris. Well, it would be a German soldier there must have been like, no, you got frequent songs. Right. You know, it's like, it's just a specific time in that that city's gone now. It's not. Yeah. It's not that anymore. And your bay route doesn't sound like it's there. I don't think so. I'd be really curious to see. But you know, it's not, it's not there for us. Yeah. Like we are going there now is not like. But my wife once, my wife's never been. And you know, she had a family there at one time and she'd like to go, but I can't, but we can't go. But I don't know. I mean, you go to any of these places, even when they're up against it, you know, like I just had a friend come back from Israel. And you know, those people, they're living their life. They're doing their thing. They know they're, you know, there's trouble, but they are, they get on with it and they do it. People are very resilient. So at my point is I bet those squares are still filled on a Saturday night with kids eating, but the kids from the West aren't there. They were just experiencing political instability. There are armed clashes and some errors in bay route, not even in Lebanon and daily military action that could escalate quickly. That's the thing. There's a risk of unexploded landmines and or Jesus. Yeah. It's a shame. Avoid crowds and large gatherings. That's exactly who you'd want to go up to. Like what's this crowd all about? We would have to like fear that and run. There were guys with machine guns, just military, just hanging out on the streets, just like just hanging out by themselves. And we walked up to one guy, went in and we asked for directions to something. And I don't know if he spoke English or didn't, but he just kind of like looked at us and was like chewing something and he just kind of like spit and glared at us. I just went on our way. It was like, yeah. So at the end of the trip, I go back to the airport and after seeing all the hope and the despair and the volatility and I was at the airport, nervous Tom comes back out and I'm like, they could just stop me when I give them my passport to get on to get through security to go to the gate. And I was like that. It was fine. I got there early, you know, because I was nervous and just wanted to get through. And I was like, okay, this is cool. But it did have that feeling of like, you want to be able to get out of here. Was that movie? Was it Argo? Yeah, Argo. They're like, you got to get off the like, where's that plane? Like take off, take off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, there was a little bit of a relief of like that I looking back on it. Is that like a good feeling to have had? Yeah. Which one, the feeling of feeling unsafe and like, this is out of my control. Now that you're safely gone. Yeah, yeah. I think it was great. I mean, it all it all worked out. But I, but I, my instinct was correct. Like, this is a place that is not stable. And you feel the ground shifting a little bit. But there's a lot of beauty and a lot of really cool stuff about it. I'm glad that comedy brought me there. And I got to see it. You didn't just stay by the hotel. Yeah. And you know, like to come back and tell my wife's family that I was there and how did they love you for that? Yeah. And so like, they're, they have like a, their, their name is like a, like, Smith over and, you know, over there. So it was like trucks, you know, with their name on it and stuff like that. And it was, it was a, it was a cool thing. And I hope to go back one day. Hopefully, it'll be another opportunity to be a peaceful place. Yeah. I mean, they're really saying like, no, a lot of times when they take department warnings, they go, do not travel. It's like, you look into a little more and like, they just haven't left to the band yet because we don't trade with them. Yeah. But it's fine. Uh-huh. This does not seem like that. No, this is not the time. You can't even fly to Israel, right? Like right now. I think you, I had a, my, my friend, go through somewhere. Oh, maybe if you go through somewhere. My friend couldn't, I know people go out of flight from LA to see his family in Israel and the flight, a canceled, Lufthansa canceled. Was it till later date? Oh, right. It's weird to, and some of these places where we're like, is it safe? And you're like, well, what are you talking about? I know. So like all the war that's happened in Israel now is like, not in Jerusalem and like Tel Aviv, from what I understand, it's like in Gaza. Right. Yeah. Or in the north of, right. So as much as people like, oh, fuck, it's like a lot of day-to-day shit. I think on both sides too. Like, and that's in that city. We're here. Yeah. - I know that's always the thing, like living here. - But you hear it, same thing, you hear the story of like, is it all, I'm like, it's like South Chicago. - Right, it's like when you hear like a transformer, something blows up in New York, and then my parents would call on like, no, that's down on 14th Street. - My mom, I used to have a joke about it, but there was that terrorist attack in Times Square. They drove over a bunch of people. - Right. - I hadn't heard about it. It wasn't on computer yet. - It was right. - My mom was frantically calling me like five times. I was like, what? - It's like, aren't you okay? - Yeah. - But I didn't even know about it. - Yeah. - And then when she told me it was Times Square, I was like, oh, I'll never be there. (laughing) That's it, it affects me in any way. - I don't understand. - Who, what? What do you think about it? - It's like going to Vermont. - Yeah, he's talking about it. (laughing) - Yeah, you heard about it at the stand, or I call me, but like. - Yeah. - Yeah, but it was, it was definitely. - Sounds pretty epic. - It was pretty epic. It was really cool that you got to do it for sure. - Yeah. - What, so you got Japan on your horizon. Try to ask people where they want to go. - Yeah, I'd love to go to Japan. - You just gigs there too. - I also want to go to other eye. - Yeah. I mean, that just makes it, I don't know if you know this hack, you're smarter than I am. Tax deductible trip if you do a hundred dollar gig. - Right. - The whole trip is a third off. - Wow. So like, get a partial, you know. (laughing) - Amazing, thank you, comedy. - Yeah. - There you go. You also want to go to where? - I want to go to like, Germany and Switzerland, those kind of places around the holidays. - What holidays? - Like Christmas holidays, like a little snow on the ground. - They do those Christmas villages right. - Yeah. - They really do them right. - Yeah. I've never done that. - Me and Morsey, you know Morsey. - Yeah. - We went to, we went to a deal actually. - I forgot that connection we had. We went to Montreux, Switzerland in like mid-December for a festival. - Oh wow. - Yeah, we made a deal there where like, let's go to two new countries every year. - Wow. - Challenge each other. - Wow. - Not together, but like just to do it. 'Cause we went from there to Amsterdam. And others have been to Netherlands either. - Oh wow. - And they have those Christmas villages, they're just like, yeah. - Really, to everyone's walking up and down and just like, you get some bread, like bottomed out with cheese in it or like a hot wine. - Yeah. - That's what I wanna do, that would be really nice. - That would be cool. - I know. - Very way safer. - You let it off. - Yeah, I know. - Downtown Bay Root. - I know, exactly. - Did he do that joke there? - If you're nervous, it's like. - It's a Bastion to the day. - It came out very, yeah. - Looks like downtown, actually. - He probably wrote it after that tree. - Maybe, oh yeah, exactly. - Yeah. - Yeah, bombed out thing, bombed out hotels. It's like, oh I know what the camera looks like. (laughing) - Yeah, really funny. Do you have any, this is the last other thing. You got any travel tips. You travel a lot. I've had everything from pack light to get a good toy with your bag to put your mushrooms in a granola. - Yeah, I don't know. A good thing to do is every once in a while when you get to a hotel, dump your bag. - What do you mean? - Like, you always have your carry on and then you got your backpack or your brief, like that bag. And every once in a while I just did it last night. I just dump it all out on my bed. And you just see like how much weight you're carrying of extra bed. - Stuff you don't need. - Bad hotel pens. - Oh right. - Like different assortments of like, a lighter from some places someone gave. - Lotion from a rash from two years ago. (laughing) - Yeah, exactly a lot of old expired Benadrill. And yeah, go through all that and lighten the load. I always think of it like the Apollo, remember the Tom Hanks movie, the Apollo 13 when they had to rescue them, bring them down and they had to make the thing as light as possible. I think they did in the Martian too. And you're just stripping out everything from your little travel thing to make it as light as possible. - That's it, you do just a crew into pockets. - You really do. Yeah, it's just a masses. - Old like tickets from like airlines. - Yeah, chain, paper clips. - He's like, I put it in there. - Yeah, exactly. - Old like protein bars and just a lot of garbage in there. And once in a while just lighten your load. - That's pretty good. - Yeah. - You were a bayroot being expensive or not expensive or no memory. - I don't have much of a memory. Probably not very expensive at all. - Yeah. - I would imagine. - That seems pretty cool, that's like a cool one. - It was very cool. I'm really glad that I saw it. It gave me real perspective. - And it was really fun. It was a fun group of comics, you know. - That's it, dude, if you go with comics to a place, then you have a group of just friends. You can connect. - Yeah. - I'm doing a gig with blank on the name Long Cove it, Jake Johansson. - Yeah. - And we were talking in the green room with a DCM prof, not the green room, it was after hours. John X was there, so he was just like, "Hey guys, I've right drink, we're fine. We'll lock the doors." - Yeah. - And he was talking about how he had, his wife's friends in town that he had to go see and talk about gardening. And we were all talking about hookers and Tijuana. And he's like, "Look, I'm not that guy, but I'd rather be here with you comics." - Yeah. - Then some like, wife's friend. - Yeah. - You know. - And it's just like, you're with comics, even if you don't know them, you can just connect. - Yeah, exactly. There's a shorthand, you're observing a ton of stuff. You wanna make sense of it. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's the best. It really is the best. - Yeah, I was joking and like, let's go out and look. Okay. - Yeah, yeah, I know. It's so great. - Is there anything you wish you would have done there that you didn't do? - Like regret. - Mm. - Start a war. - Yeah, maybe start a war. Maybe I should have gone to the club just to see what that kind of thing is like. And I don't really enjoy that. - Yeah. - No, we kinda had done it all. Like I didn't feel like, you know, and even like the Dubai part, like Kirk and I getting in a car and like driving. It was like, how 'cause you went to a car, it was easy. - Yeah, it was easy. Just went to the front desk of the hotel. He gave us a car. It rented through somebody and went out and did it. - Front desk, actually. I'm always like, reticent hesitant to like, go up to them and like ask for anything, but they're like, that's where you go to. - They're great. - I'm gonna do diving. - They help all the time. - Okay, we know that. - Yeah, I don't have to be like, act like I know this, but he has to concierge. - Yeah. - That's their job. - It's their whole job. - Yeah. - Is to tell you the good restaurant to eat it. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And when it's not crowded. - I'll call someone for you. Yeah, where to go, come to it now. - Yeah. - That's their job. - Just, yeah. - Use them. (laughing) - All right, well, pop up buddy, I appreciate it. - It was just great. Thank you so much. - Guys, check out Tom Popp. Also, he's got a podcast. I'll do an insert in the beginning anyway. But your podcast radio show. - Breaking bread. Breaking bread with Tom Poppah is my podcast. - I'm a good honest. - I'll start with my episode if you want it. If you want to weigh in. - Very cool. - Yeah. - And I'd love to have you back. Yeah, I got a good bread for you. - Okay. - And just Tom Poppah.com. - Blueberry, huh? - You feel like a sweet, like a blueberry. - I've done a blueberry scone. I make blueberry, a really good blueberry scone. - It's a blueberry and a bread, huh? Doesn't seem to ever happen. - Yeah, it don't, nice and bread, yeah. - Yeah, why not blueberry? I'll get on it. I'll make it. - Okay. - Thanks, buddy. - Thanks buddy. Everybody, check out the special again. Also, it's called, hold on, not leaving home. Hold on, hold on. I'll get it. - Uh-uh. - Hold on. - Home free. Home free. - Home free. (laughing) - Take that weed. (laughing) - Oh, great, that's proper. - Well, what are the odds? This doesn't fall into the water. This is what a mistake this is. Thank you very much, Tom Poppah, coming in today. I mean, it's for sure. If that hits the-- All right, well, let's see. This could be the last podcast I do. By the way, long live my phone, I dropped it in shit water. I dropped it in a fucking toilet of shit water. And it wasn't good shit. It wasn't good shit. It was meat on a stick and cheap beers. Brahma, and I think it's a piva. The steak on my part. For sure. Please check out Tom. Check him out on his website at tompoppa.com. No, tompoppa.com. H-G-T-P slash dot dot slash slash tompoppa.com. You can check out all those tour dates running through them. It's Hilton, it hits out the Carolina Fort Lauderdale, Stewart, Florida, Jacksonville, Mashantuck, Connecticut, Salt Lake City, Irvans. That's going. Utah, Hutchinson, Kansas City, Pensacola, Orlando, Fort Myers, Tate, Nohio, Cleveland, Columbus, Las Vegas, Bethlehem, Huntington, New York, Juliett, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Los Angeles, California, Atlantic City, and Great Barrington, Massachusetts. Check him out on Instagram. @Tompoppa everybody. And on YouTube @TompoppaComedy, check out his specials. He's one of the most proliferate comments in the world. Seven fucking specials are doing great. What a day. And live in New York City is the last three that are on Netflix. Bunch more on Hulu. That's good. It's short up now. His podcast Breaking Bread that I've been on, that I didn't mention in the fucking intro bumper, which you should watch, Breaking Bread. I've been on there twice. It's a fun podcast. She's got a good fucking mindset, Tom Poppies. So always happy. Doesn't get involved in anything. Like all the drama. Just kind of, he's where we should be, mentally. Tom Popp is the man. Tom Popp is the man. The suit game could use some like flourishing up. If you ask me, it's pretty drab. That's just me. that's it I think I said everything about him oh he's got books you're doing great we're all in this together your dad stole my rake he's got fucking books who's the fuck is this guy what the fuck is this guy that's it guys wherever you're watching let's say please subscribe hit the like button smash the subscribe what are they smash that like button believe a comment for the algorithm next week oh fuck I knew this it's not Julio Galarotti in finance taking us to Montreal Canada please subscribe for that today's episode is edited by Alan Caffey it's produced by your mom's house network oh that's gonna need some shoring up that's about to come loose that's gonna need shoring up your mom's house network please subscribe to the Instagram account that Caitlin runs and Heather runs at you would chip and pod and that's it everybody enjoy get your passport get out there they root who would have thought they fucking root there used to be the most amazing like it's the home of like you know academia in the middle east and then you know went bad by the way unrelated to that happy Ramadan everybody have a good fast and I hope you're hope you enjoy it on your side hey all right bye bye until next week