Before You Blow Up Your Life

gang welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome back to another episode of color daddy do you guys know where that's from yeah she's the man remember what is the guy he's like the uh head principal he's like welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome to illyria yeah that movie is one of my favorite movies of all time today is gonna be a topic that i i think a lot of you are gonna like i hope um so this was kind of inspired because the other day i was scrolling on tiktok as you know one does and i came across a girl who quit her job broke up with her boyfriend and moved to costa rica and i was like slate queen she was basically taking us through a day in her life she's like eating her acai bowl for breakfast and then she's surfing it up in the afternoon and then she was like reading in her canopy bed by candlelight at night and i was like oh my god like this is just i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with this i don't gonna lie it looked magical for a second she had me thinking like oh maybe i should like grab my bikini and just like leave it all behind meanwhile i'm like literally happily married and like seconds away from giving birth i'm like oh yeah beach bod in costa rica like let's go but it did get me thinking about how inspiring it always looks when you see someone leave everything behind and start fresh and start new because when something in our life feels hard or stagnant or painful there is something incredibly exciting about imagining that we could just start over right go to a new city or get a new job or start a new relationship like meet a new version of ourselves and it kind of gives us this feeling that like we can escape and leave behind everything that was making us unhappy and it's never too late to start over but as romantic and daring and thrilling as it looks especially when people post those type of series on social media i do think it's important to note on the flip side like there is a reality that running from your problems may only be a temporary band-aid and i'm also not saying that that's what that girl that i was watching on the tiktok was doing i just have seen enough friends in my life and moments in my life where i'm like there are the people who are going to be there for me and i'm like i'm not going to be there for them who can actually go to costa rica and do that thing and you're like okay yeah great do your thing then there's other people where you're like girl you're running you're running from that problem and babe it's going to catch up to you at some point but like go off queen and so that's kind of the inspiration for today's topic is let's think before we blow up our life i've seen a lot of people make major life extremely quick changes with these major high hopes that it is going to solve all of their problems and i'm like okay let's do it let's do it let's do it let's do it only to realize two years and a mountain of debt later that they actually kind of ended up right back in the same place with the same problem and i know it sounds like i'm saying the exact opposite of all of the inspirational tiktoks telling you to stop thinking and just take the leap babe this is your sign take the leap that's not exactly what i'm saying i do support the leap but what i'm saying is before you quit your job move across the country end your relationship or book a one-way ticket to costa rica i'm not going to do that i'm not going to do that i'm not going to do that i'm i want you to pause long enough to ask do i actually want a complete different life or do i just want relief from the current life i have there is a very large difference because the big difference is you're either running toward something or you're running away from something which one is it right we all have that friend the one who thinks that their life is going to be solved by the next best thing right they're always there's always something she needs to drastically change if i just do this then i'm going to be happy if it's not the job it's her boyfriend if it's not the boyfriend it's her hair color if it's not the hair color it's the city that she lives in like nothing ever seems to quite fit right and so then we tend to create this story that it's like okay if i shake up the situation everything that we are uncomfortable with or unsatisfied with it will all just go away if i just change the situation but there is this saying that i love no matter where you go there you are you can try to outrun all of the deeper things that you need to deal with but they will always be there waiting because it's like once you get settled in that and you're like okay this is looking good then you're gonna lay down at night and at some point those issues are gonna creep in again so if you are someone who's currently watching this and listening to this and you know you're at this point where you're getting the itch right maybe you're feeling like you need to shake things up maybe you need to skip town leave it all behind i get it because i think there's a lot of people listening in their 20s and in their 30s and that's kind of like i think when this can happen and i'm not saying don't do it i think today we're just going to have a i've thought about that i think will be helpful to kind of uncover what's going on so number one i think the first question we need to ask ourselves is like are you bored now don't hate me for this one because it's obviously a boner killer but like it's kind of a question you need to ask yourself like after you've just spent a week romanticizing about moving to paris and having sex with a hot man that you met in the cafe who wisps you away on his vespa and you're ready to take up smoking cigs as a hobby to feel something and post it on your instagram and look like the cool girl that you are the reality is sometimes we mistake under stimulation for being in the wrong life or being on the wrong path real life you guys disclaimer can be boring like that is just the truth if you've been doing the same job seeing the same people picking up the same sweet green order every single day for lunch living in the same apartment sometimes you can look up inside and be like am i wasting my life away like what's happening right and so if your answer to this question of being bored it's like yes ask yourself how you can introduce novelty into your life without completely just setting it on fire and trying to change everything about it i also want to clarify boredom is different from dissatisfaction boredom signals a need for stimulation while dissatisfaction means that something is not working for you like for example what i mean by that guys if you're coming home every day from work extremely depressed feeling like a shell of a person then yes you should look into making a change in your life but if that's not the case i don't want you to mistake peace for boredom like think about it in terms of a relationship the toxic ones oh honey they're gonna be exciting they're gonna be stimulating but the best ones can honestly feel a little bit boring at times if you're used to always fighting or chasing something when you finally get peace it can feel like something is wrong or missing so if you're only feeling under stimulated i want you to get specific about what you're actually bored with just saying like oh i'm so bored feels daunting and like some huge need like oh my god we need a solution like we not we need to fix this but once you actually narrow in on the area of your life that you're feeling bored about you can literally just make a specific change like are you just craving some adventure like okay see if there are any fun weekend trips that you can start taking with your friends do you want to be around new people maybe you're just like oh i've had the same friend group and we're all doing the same thing every freaking weekend and it's getting like okay so join a different gym or join a pottery class or do something different do you want to feel sexier put on your hottest outfit take yourself out to a bar because you never get dressed up anymore and you used to do it in college but now you're always too tired after work it's like find just the root cause and then you can find a pretty approachable easy solution i promise you so many of us get home from work and then we just spend hours and hours and hours scrolling on social media and you are getting nothing from that it feels momentarily like a de-stressor and like you're relaxing and oh my god i'm getting to not think about work for a long day of work scroll you're not going to feel stimulated or excited about your life if anything watching other people's lives is going to make you subconsciously because maybe it doesn't register because you're like oh i'm so relaxed i'm just scrolling and living and this is nice but it actually is going to eventually make you just feel like shit about yours right because then by the time that you wake up to go to work the next day you're like oh my god like another day doing the same thing and it's like yeah and you could have done something different last night other than a lot of times the literal answer is just making the tiniest tweak put yourself in an uncomfortable new situation where you join the class or you go to happy hour with your co-workers whatever it is it can be very small but it can make a huge difference in just breaking up mundane repetitiveness of a pattern you've slept into which we all do and at some point you need to take accountability if you keep saying you're going to do it you're going to do it you're going to do it and then you never do it well then this is no wonder you're bored you you now if boredom isn't your issue i want to move on to the next question i have which is a little bit more pointed and threatening are you trying to escape something oh i have a feeling this is like a lot of ours right because like for me i've gone through this in my life like you're like oh maybe but like shut up i don't want to hear it no no we need to talk it through sometimes the fantasy of a completely new life becomes really enticing when something in your current life is uncomfortable and you don't want to deal with it directly but this is actually a form of avoidance obviously changing your environment you're like i'm moving across the country yes it can temporarily reduce your stress because you're removing yourself from the trigger and you're giving yourself smaller less scary and more actionable problems right it's like okay so this is so much more fun and it's it guys it is so much more fun and easy to look for new apartments on zillow and shop for a new couch and a new wardrobe than to just unravel the grief of the old relationship that you've never unpacked and all the baggage that has come with that right like avoidance avoidance is like a little tricky little minx okay because she actually can feel productive moving apartments applying for jobs booking trips reinventing your routine your image yourself your closet you're doing so much that it feels like you're addressing the problem when you may actually be organizing your entire life around not having a job and you're not having a job and you're not having a job and you're not having to feel it not having to address the actual problem so i think the best thing is to ask yourself like if you want to leave and move or whatever the big change is that you want to do what problem do i think leaving is going to solve like be actually specific with yourself okay if i transfer then what or if i quit my job then what like get concrete answers for yourself because i want you to pause long and hard and i want you to pause long and hard and i want you to pause long and hard and i want you to pause long and hard and i want you to pause long enough to make sure you are making these decisions from an informed internal place because the external change it can't do all the internal work for you but sometimes change i will say really is the answer and so i realize this is kind of like a double there's it's like it's very specific per person take my bestie lauren for example okay when she broke up with her college boyfriend of seven years their lives were completely entangled in new york city together they had the same friend group they had the same they were literally in the same neighborhood everyone went to the same gym like and she took a hard look at her life and she saw that if i stay in new york i'm just gonna fall back into the same situation i worked so hard to change and she knew that if she saw him enough and ran into him enough with all these friends they were eventually just gonna get back together because the history was going to change and she knew that if she saw him enough and ran into him the ties were too deep it was just going to be easier it was going to be convenient and she was like i don't want that i don't want that and i know that i will keep doing that and so she left but she knew that meant okay if i'm leaving new york i need to immediately start doing the work on myself and i do immediately start pouring into myself and unpacking what happened like how did i stay in this relationship for so long how did i let myself stay in something that was so unfulfilling and so i remember the minute that lauren and i moved to la and we left new york literally the first thing that she did like we didn't even have our boxes unboxed i don't even think we own beds yet and she got a therapist and she started working on her own healing she didn't just get to la and use the new environment and the palm trees as a way to distract herself and avoid her reality no she used it as a reset and started the work immediately and just leaned in and so yes she moved but it was the work she did that made her feel unstuck it wasn't actually the location the location was like a nice change because she was like this will be a good restart but it wasn't actually that and so it's like i said before if you want the big change okay i just want you to feel like you're running towards something and not away from it i think lauren's situation is a great example because she kind of ended up getting the best of both worlds she was not technically fully running away from him but she knew herself enough of like this ain't gonna end if i don't change something up an opportunity presented itself to move across the country and she did it but she also then didn't live a year of just being like oh i love this place let's go to the beach and we're like we um so the the seven the set the seven years that you stayed in that little thing over there that you were really unhappy in but we're just gonna forget because like bikinis and let's go to nobu like she didn't do that now the final question i want you to ask yourself if you're like i'm blowing it up i'm blowing it up i'm gonna blow up my life and leave last question would be are you idealizing a fantasy life for yourself i think it is so easy and so common to stalk someone on instagram or tiktok and think oh my god it must be so nice to live in new york and go to the cool fashion parties every night and travel to abiza over the summer but here's the thing you're comparing your life to the fantasy of someone else's you are not actually seeing the insane amount that they're paying for rent you're not seeing the piece of dog shit they stepped in on the sidewalk and they're like i fucking hate this place and you're definitely not seeing the anxiety and the anxiety and the anxiety and the anxiety and they feel of having to make their life look so amazing all of the freaking time and so even as adults there can be this feeling that everyone else they've all got it figured out but you right it's so different than college when like we're all kind of on the same timeline and when you get out of college and you're really adulting people start to move through life differently and you can look at your feed and you can even think looking at your friends and be like am i doing something wrong like should i have done what she did or what what's happening but you guys let me just say this take it from someone who knows social media and knows these people that you are fantasizing about at the end of the day they are still people with real problems and they still have super boring days in their sweatpants where they question their very existence they're human too right and so my advice here is to picture the reality not just the fantasy if you move to new york will you have friends there will you be able to afford rent will you be stressed or will you be excited like be real live your life in your head for a second be like uh and if the answer is yes i actually would love it then maybe moving is a really good idea for you but if you're just picturing the glamour then get ready for a really really really dark wake-up call okay so how do we fix this i think we need to get more comfortable being completely unapologetically content with exactly where we're at i'm not saying you need to get stagnant but like let's enhance the lives that we have instead of wiping the slate completely clean and being like oh my god i need stimulation so i'm gonna blow up my whole life like being content is not complacency it's really important to recognize that there is this idea that if you stop wanting more you're gonna lose your ambition and and you've become stagnant in life and it's like no you can be grateful for where you're at while still wanting to grow and evolve it's just not fair to yourself to postpone happiness until the next milestone until you feel electric and alive because i do think we are scarily good at moving the goalpost for ourselves the apartment that you desperately wanted becomes eventually just your apartment and the relationship that you hope for becomes a normal relationship the career milestone that you obsessed over then just becomes your boring daily work routine and speaking of boredom let's start even maybe we can start romanticizing the boring eras of our lives this is something that i've thought about a lot recently because one day i am convinced future you is going to look back at current you you know you're you're thinking you're so boring you're making your ground beef and your sweet potato bowls multiple times a week and you're watching the housewives and you're ending the night with the long ass skincare routine i think one day you're going to be so jealous when you look back at that quote unquote boredom okay ultimately this is all about us figuring out what's going to help you live a realistic life that you are content with and happy with like i want you running towards what you want instead of running away from it and listen if that means at the end of all of this you are like no yeah i'm selling all my clothes i'm selling my car i'm selling everything i own i'm also not even gonna tell my family and i'm moving to costa rica alex babe more power to you but just make sure you're asking yourself the right question because when you get there if it's just bliss and happiness and you're like this is what I've wanted my whole life I am so happy for you but I do know a lot of people eventually are like it's night four and I'm realizing oh my god all of this was to distract me from the fact that the man that I thought I was going to marry we ended our engagement and I thought that meant it was a sign from God himself that I needed to trade in my loafers my slacks and and my briefcase for a bikini a day keeps the blues away and I'm like I need to get back to Seattle where my life is and I need to go get a new job because I quit my job unexpectedly I just now need to go get a full new wardrobe go buy another car because I gave up everything thinking I'd feel so lean and ready to go on my new life journey and you're like that was a really really expensive way to just quickly get an answer of like yeah no I didn't need to blow up my life I just needed to like make a couple changes and maybe the couple changes was like don't go to the same coffee shop that you're gonna run into him at that was all you had to do and maybe go out for dancing every Tuesday night and do some salsa with the girls yeah that's all you needed it's good things to think about over here on call her daddy just trying to stimulate that brain because half the things I bring to you guys it's things that I've thought about trust me oh my god guys if you had met me in college I was constantly like I think I need to do xyz and then obviously I would call my mother and she'd be like first of all thankfully you don't have the finances to make that life-changing decision so just humble yourself constantly and if you don't humble yourself have a friend or a family member that you know will humble you and they'll get you right back on track anyway let's humble ourselves even more and let's answer some questions question number one hi daddy one of my close college friends moved to my city two years post and ended up moving into my house because we had an open room I've been inviting her to hang out with my friend group but recently found out she was talking shit about me to one of them now I don't want to feel obligated to keep inviting her but it's awkward because we live together I also don't want to seem like a mean girl since I'm the only one who initially brought her into the group help I think you need to confront her I think you just need to go in and be like hey I am so happy you moved here I remember when you called me like I was so excited and it's and I'm so happy that like you ended up being able to move in because we had the room and all of it but I need to be really just direct and honest for a second and I want to have an open conversation with you I don't want to have an attacking conversation but I do need to awkwardly address this I did get back to me that you were talking shit about me in my friend group and I am really hurt because I feel like I have not even in like a pat on the back way like I've included you and made you feel so I hope comfortable by all of the things of including you into my life when you moved here and so to hear you talking shit on me I feel betrayed that you're using the relationships I introduced you to to basically make me look bad to my friends instead of just coming to me and being honest and so I just want to open the conversation up for you to be like what's going on and what's the problem and please just say it directly to my face and let's see if we can work through this because this doesn't feel good and that I don't I wouldn't do this to you and then give her the chance to again if we've learned anything about ourselves as women we in friend groups things can get a little things can get a little hmm how do we say this drama and we there's moments where some women wake up that day and they're like oh you know what will solve the flu symptoms I'm having gossip and then people just like to gossip or they like to stir things up and then they're like oh why did I do that there's a chance that the friend told you this and it's actually not fully that your friend was talking shit on you but she took it as her talking shit on you you know what I mean so you need to hear it from what's the saying you need to hear it from the lion's mouth you need to hear it from from the lion can't talk you need to hear it from the whatever mouth themselves okay and you need to hear it from her now you're gonna be a self-aware person and you're gonna be able to see if she's fidgeting if she's lying if she whatever and again maybe I'm in my like no bullshit era but if she's like no I never said that big okay let's call Kayla and talk about it with her and because I just I want to see what she said about this and so we can all just put this to bed because I really am not interested in drama I have a job I have a life I have rent to pay like I just I don't want to have to deal with this oh you gave her a friend group and she's slicing and dicing you in the back I don't think so there's always going to be drama in friend groups that are big and so you got to try to in a way but the only way I think that you will feel like you got resolution and not have resentment is if you directly tell her what you heard and I think sometimes people could be like oh but like that sucks because then you're throwing the other friend under the bus no no no no if someone is talking shit on you we're grown adults we're not in high school anymore we're not going to PE class okay we're grown adults that are making decisions of who we want to have in our life and who is going to be there for us as we grow up and as we grow up and as we grow up and as we grow up and as we grow up and as we go through all the hardships in life I don't have time for fake friends now that I'm an adult literally have no time I have no time for drama so let's get underneath it okay next daddy hello I just got married less than two months ago and I just found out through a hey girl text that my husband cheated on me three weeks into our marriage while I was out of town three weeks after the wedding after a night out with friends a woman stayed over in the spare bedroom oh how sweet he didn't do it in your bed he did it in the spare lovely what a nice man oh wait and then it says twice as if once wasn't enough you pig infidelity has never been an issue before and he says he's extremely sorry and he's willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild my trust yeah oh I'm sure you are you're willing to do whatever it takes maybe I don't know be faithful when we just three weeks ago set our vows to live together and I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't will death do us part no she said I'm embarrassed to tell my friends since they were just at our wedding completely understand and I'm completely torn over whether I should whether I should stay how do I figure out my next steps okay I cannot imagine the way that you feel after your wedding is maybe the most in love that you'll ever be right and like some people may disagree but like that is like peak peak like oh my god we're just beginning the rest of our lives together this is like honeymoon central you just had your friends and your family and your dress and your life and the vows and the ring and all of it and you're like oh my god this is the love of my life I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person we're going to build a family together whatever that looks like for each individual right to find out that the first chance he got once you left not only to cheat on you that's already an in your home twice it is so diabolical and then to find out from a hey girl text this man was never gonna tell you you were never gonna find out it will always be in the back of your head thinking oh my god had I not gotten that he never would have told me and so I know this because of the woman not because of my husband and life's not going to be the same it's gonna get really hard you're going to go through so many things together so imagine in the worst times babe imagine when you're sick you're not feeling your best something's going wrong this was on the day with the rainbows and the flowers and the sun shines and he was like I think I have to have sex twice with this woman like I think it's I think and I and I'm gonna make it up to her but like this has to happen he couldn't have self-control right after your wedding imagine in two years imagine in three years then it's gonna be like every time you go on a trip you're gonna be like what's happening in the guest bedroom every time you leave you I just refuse for any woman I just don't want you to be living in a state of constant paranoia and anxiety because the one thing that you know that's gonna happen from this is he is saying he'll do whatever so he's kind of now like okay I told you I'll do whatever and I'm so sorry and he got everything he wanted. And the fact that you're saying you're afraid to tell your friends because you're embarrassed that's the other biggest red flag you know how horrific this is you are now making yourself have to go through this alone and you can't get support from the people who love you most because you're trying to protect the person who just hurt you the most and it's like no no no no you deserve support and you deserve respect but I am so sorry because I actually can't imagine the literal trauma and trust issues that this has created for you. And that is horrific. Daddy, do you have strong opinions about couples sleeping in separate bedrooms? I love my partner, but I also love having the bed to myself and sleeping in the middle without anyone disturbing me. Is sleeping separately bad for intimacy or can it actually make a relationship healthier? I really don't know the answer to this because I think it has to be per couple. Like I think I personally wouldn't do this. If Matt's in my way, I kick him. Matt's going to have a leg on the ground. Like I will find my space and I will find my room. I'm also the crazy lady that was like, I want my dogs to sleep in bed with me. Like my bed is just jam packed with like, I've got my, like, I've got my book in my bed. I've got like, there's a lot going on in my bed. For me, Matt and I have such busy lives. So I find that like, it's kind of my favorite time is when we get home and yes, we have dinner or whatever, but then getting into bed together is like my favorite part of my day with Matt. And then the mornings in bed together are my favorite time of day. Cause I just get to like be there with him. I think that for me and my relationship, I would not want that. I also am not judging people who want to sleep in separate bedrooms because I also know there are some literal thieves of the night. Okay. Thieves of the night as in they're stealing, your sanity and your happiness and your sleep. I have my sister, shout out. Hi, Catherine. Worst sleeper known to man. If you sleep in a bed with my sister, you're getting punched in the head. You are going to have bruises on your side and you will fall off the bed at some point. Every time I went on family vacation, somehow my sister always ended up getting her own bed because we were like, no one can sleep with Catherine. And so then she got the luxury of getting her own bed because we were like, we can't sleep with Catherine. So like, there are people that are in years. So I get there are some certain situations where you're like, I need some sleep. I think you just need to talk about it because understandably getting in bed at night and all of those things are what most of us think about when like intimacy can happen and all of that. But if you're having that in other times of day or night, or you're doing the deed or whatever, and then you're going to sit like whatever, if it works for you, it works for you. I just think you have to talk about it because my fear in some of these dynamics that I've seen online is like really wanted it. And one person didn't. And then like, how does that work? But I think everyone is going to be different in a relationship. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa, like no judgment. And listen, Matt or I travel sometimes. So if anything, like we do get the bed sometimes for ourselves, but if you're people who never travel and you're always together, like maybe you could be like Sundays or Mondays or whatever are the days that we get to sleep alone or whatever. I don't know. You can make it up. If you're like, I love it. The only reason it's but we both feel great about it, babe, live your life. Hi, daddy. I recently realized I'm always the one making plans with my friends. If I stop texting first, I honestly don't know if I'd hear from half of them. Is it worth bringing up or should I just accept that some friendships are this way? I mean, you can bring it up, but honestly, I think this is a tale as old as time. Two parts to this. Number one, there are some friends that literally just like horrible communicators and texters. And it's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like I completely forgot. I'm so sorry. And that's just like, that's just the way it is. Like, they're just going to be like, I'm sorry. Like you're always gonna make the plans. And I, but do they always show up? Do they bring the vibes? Like, are they the bad? It's just like, sometimes they're like, oh, like I think you have to read the room a little bit of like, is the friend that you're always like, you never reach out and you never, but then when they show up, it is good time Sally. She's like, tell me about your life. Oh my God, let's get the picture. Let's get another martini. Let's stay out. Let's have fun. Like, and she's just there and she's present. Then you're like, okay, Rebecca just sucks at texting. And like, we love that about her. But what I feel like if you're writing this in is it's like, you're really putting in the legwork. And then when you're getting to the dinners that you're scheduling or the girly events, you're not really feeling the love there either. And so maybe you are sniffing around with some self-awareness of like, maybe these people are like, oh, like I don't have anything on Thursday. Like, I guess I'll go see her. And you're kind of starting to feel that vibe. That would be my gut is yeah. I guess you could bring this up with them. But again, maybe this is just being in my thirties now, but I'm like, sure. Bring it up. But like, I feel like you kind of know, like, do they ever ask you any questions about your life? It's one thing. If it's like, they're just bad. Someone's bad at making But like, do they ever make an effort? Do they ever say like, what's going on with you when you go out? Is it all about them? And they're not even really asking like, how's work for you? Or how's your relationship? Like, do you feel seen? Do you feel heard? Do you feel anything? Or are you constantly like, I'm kind of leaving all these interactions being like, yeah, that kind of felt like we checked a box to go to a dinner. But like, did I even enjoy myself at that dinner? I think a lot of times in our adult lives, we feel like, okay, I've got to keep up with my I've gotten so to the point where like, I have no time for anyone that is not, we're not mutually invested in each other's lives. I don't, I'm not doing surface level anymore. And so if you're feeling like you're way more invested in these relationships, I don't even know what the fuck you would say. You're going to send out a group text and be like, Hey guys, I feel like I'm the always, always the one planning things. Like, can you guys do it? It's like my mother always said to me growing up, why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you? And I know that is like such a, that hurts. But like, really think about that. Like, why would you want to like force them? Like, come on, like make the effort guys. Like, shouldn't they just want to? And again, it's like, yeah, you'll, you'll only be the one that knows if they are the type of person that just suck at texting or like suck at the plans or whatever. But like, I have a feeling that's not it. And maybe these just aren't your people. You want to have people like, I have made some amazing friends in LA. That text me and engage with me. And it's like a mutual, mutually beneficial relationship where I'm like, Oh, I love her. She loves me. We both make the similar effort. And it's such a good feeling. And there are other people I had met in LA where like in the beginning it started. And then I was kind of the one that was always reaching out and I was like, Oh, this isn't worth it. And then I let it drown off and then they never reached out. And so I felt like, okay, so it was right for me to kind of pull back and like not put too much effort into it, you know, in your gut, but don't try to force people to like, want to hang out with you. You're better off actually putting more effort. Into finding new friends than finding people that you're like trying to jam in and be like, make a dinner reservation, Victoria. And she's like, honestly, I don't want to, but you always pay for the dinner and you get us all free drinks. So like I come and I booze it up and I use it as a pregame. And then I go to my boyfriend's after like you always offer. So I just come like, you'll know in your heart, listen to your heart when he's calling for you. You'll know, you'll know. Okay. Daddy gang. I love you so much. This was a really good Sunday. I felt it in my bones. I felt it in my belly. And now I'm feeling it in my bladder because this child is pushing so darn hard on my bladder that I need to go pee. So I'm going to go pee and you're going to go, you're going to go reset your life on this Sunday and you're going to feel great about it. I love you guys. You know, the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers on Wednesday. Goodbye. Bye.