Beers To Go! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now. We're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonium, Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. Now, if you've got a garbage question, come out and see the boys. Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. To get the big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties of the New Edition. She's upstairs cooking up a little squirrel meat. Okay. It's in season. So, I hear. The neighbors gets it. It's not from around the area. From the butcher. They go out and get it in the woods. Are you going to have some? Probably not. What? She's going to be upset. Okay. This is a long Tootie. There's no one to squirrel meat. No. It's a no on the squirrel meat, and I'm going to pass on this Tootie. Take it from the top. What? This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians. This is all in there, right? What the fuck? I feel like I'm having a fucking stroke. Gang, this is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. My co is coming in from across the table. CEO of RU Garbage. Contractually obligated. International businessman. A lot of Lululemon on this kid. That's what I've been hearing. I've been hearing a lot of talk. You got a lot of Lululemon. You got $60 socks on. They're not $60 socks. Let me get one. Kevin Ryan, everybody. Look at you. Luke was making fun of him, calling him. First of all, shout out to everybody. Thanks for tuning in as always. Shout out to Lululemon. Shout out to the good folks over there. All the girls. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are on Spotify. No, we're in the charts, dog. What are you talking about? Man, you're hanging on to that. I'm the barometer of that. I check that every day. First of all, you're not the barometer of shit, okay? Hey, I'm the barometer of shit. Give me the real feel. Then obviously check out the gosh darn comedy special over there on YouTube. American Garbage. Numbers are through the roof, baby. Yes, they are. Over a half a mil in the first week. The boys are locked and looted. Shout out to the Army of Garbage for supporting. Truly awesome to see the response from everybody, the DMs, the shares, the fucking emails, everything. Some guy knocked on my door, told me how good it was. Is that true? I apologize for that. Yeah, shout out to you. And also, as far as the socks go, I was in there with my wife was buying workout gear or something, whatever. There's broads by there. And I went, I said, you know what? I'm going to take a gander over there. There's men's clothing there. Men and women. You think I'm wearing fucking broad socks right now? Yeah, I do. No. I would wear broad socks if they were comfortable. No, these are men's socks. Huh. Well, they're weird looking. Yeah, they're like, they really. Let me see those again. There's like an arch in the bottom. What's up with that? They're great, dude. These are great. Do me a favor. Look, there's an R and an L. They're like shoes. Who's R and an L? Like left and right. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I just realized they're on the wrong feet. That's expensive. Who's this LR fella? That's why I keep falling down a hallway. God damn. I wanted to ask you where the calf is. I'm up there. There's a mark in there. Oh, yeah. You're pinching. Listen, I'm not this kind of guy. Socks. No. But I was in there. Yeah. So my wife was buying, I think, like a jacket or something. Jacket? Not like a jacket. Like a zip-up or something. I don't know what they really sell there. I thought they sold those hot pants. It's all workout clothes. They've got everything. I mean, for these fucking socks. They sell everything. And I got big. I had socks. And I'm a big guy. I've been on my feet. We live a life where we're on our feet a lot. I mean, I'm sitting on my fat ass right now. But I mean, we travel a lot. I'm out running around. I mean, you know, don't try to downplay it. You complain about your feet all the time. I've always had bad feet. If you remember the ice socks from a couple of years ago. Ice socks? Yeah, I got them socks with the ice packs on them. You've got ugly feet. I got bad feet. Listen, hand up. I got bad feet. Gross feet. Gross, bad feet. I got gross feet, too. Yeah. Bad feet. Run. He's in a family. I think my arch is starting to get blown. I've been fat for 40 years. Blowing out your arch? Blowing out my arches, baby. I think. I don't. I got bad feet. What does it mean? They're starting to flatten? A little bit. Really? A little bit. All that weight. I think. Ooh, like Tower 2 coming down. The problem. Building 7, didn't we pull it? The problem is, for so many years, I ran bad shoes. Sure. I'd wear the shit out of my shoes. They'd flatten out. We're running around the city for fucking a decade. You'd leave the house and fucking. It's 6 a.m. You get home at midnight. I'm on my dogs all day. Yeah. And a pair of fucking 18-month-old Nikes that are blown the fuck out that I got for my brother-in-law and they didn't fit. Slipped them off while you're sitting on the couch. Yeah. So, I was like, you know what? Maybe these will help my feet a little bit. And they're expensive. They're not $60. They might be like $40 a pack, but for like five pairs or something like that. It's just throwing you under the bus. Yeah. What the fuck? I mean, I'm getting it from every fucking angle. Good job, Luke. Okay. All right. No. No. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. I'm a big sock guy, too. I like it. But, yeah. And I saw Luke looking at them. And I said. He knows. He knows. I said, yeah. And he was just like, they look orthopedic. Or what do I want you to do? Yeah. They look prescribed. But they're Luke Lerman. They look like a sleeve. Athletic. That's all you can say. He's not wearing one of those one single sleeves. Yeah. That's pretty cool. The Allen Iverson. Yes. But another thing, too. There's a you look like a dirt. You look like a dirt bag from Northeast Philadelphia because all my socks when you're in that store are black ankle socks. Oh, that's a bad look during the summertime. Yeah. I mean, with jeans, it's okay. You don't want a pair of shorts, a pair of Nike shorts. Yeah. What? That's crazy. Black ankle socks. You might as well be wearing black Air Forces. It looks like you're about to rob a bank. It's a tough look. It's like in your home arrest thing. Mm-hmm. House arrest. Yes. Your anklet. It's a tough. So over the summer, I bought these one for the support, but then these I bought the high. These are too high. I don't know what's going on. You're wearing knee highs. Yeah, they're high. I'm all over the joint. Do they have the little straps that connect to your pants? I wish. I got a bad pair of underwear on today, too. Either I got fat or these things shrunk a lot. Are they Lululemon? And I put my money on shrunk a lot. Are they Lululemon? Now, these are Tommy Hilfiger from Marshalls. Wow. Yeah, you go there, you get the Marshall. Tommy Hilfiger. Tommy Hilfiger. It's probably spelled wrong. These are Hilfingers. I had a question for you. Uh-huh. I saw this this weekend. Wanted to know what your thoughts were. And obviously, it wasn't me. Six months, clean and sober. It was around. Check the files on that. It was around lunchtime or whatever on a weekend. Okay. Person was having a drink at the bar. Uh-huh. And they're like, their crowd was leaving. Their friends. Their friends were leaving. And they said, hey, you mind throwing this in a cup for me? A to-go. A to-go. Bartender was a little hesitant. Rightfully so. I think it's illegal. But they ended up doing it. Well, sure. Yeah, I mean, and not, listen, I'm all for it. Have you done it? How do you feel about it? No, this goes back to leftovers for me. I'm sculling that fucking drink. Like, there's no drink I don't have. There's, at no point do I have an alcoholic beverage that can't be deleted. Sure. 30 seconds. By the time someone's putting their coat on. We've always lived by that same code. My beer's good. Whatever it is. Hold on. Give me a second. Crush that. Let's get out of here. And then you walk out and you're all full. And then let that settle a half a beat. Then light a heater. Good friggin' night. God bless. That's. I'd be remiss if I, you know, uh, I'm, it's trashy. I'm, I'm all for it, I guess, in the sense of like. It's usually a lady move. Nothing against a lady move. Yeah. I'm trying to, I mean, even a lady's a move. Because my family put them back. Really? So it's like. So you're. Well, I mean, they're not like. You're somewhere Niecy's, Niecy's slow on her. What, she gonna pound it? Nah, but Niecy. All right, let's go. Niecy's like the tide. You know what I mean? Like, Niecy's not, Niecy's not rolling in circles where we're ordering one and then we're like, well, we, you know, there's a fight in the parking lot. We gotta go, you know. She's like, oh, I'll do one more. We'll do one at the, say we're going, say we're down the shore and we're going out. I'll do one. We'll do one at the house. She'll do one, you know, whatever. Maybe two. Who knows? Then we'll go to, then we'll go to Surfside or. What's the Bay of Pigs now? What's the fucking place? Castro? No. CIA? The OSS? It's on 11th. The Good Shepherd. You ever see that movie? The Surfing Pig. We'll go to the, we'll go to the Surfing. I was close with the Bay of Pigs. Surfing Pig. I just had the wrong side of the island. She'll do probably two there. They had a stranger in their house. Who? CIA. That's how they found out about Bay of Pigs. Yeah, there was a Russian agent that was working inside. Is that what, is that what they, is that what you got deep into? briefed on. There's a stranger in the house. Man, this guy will do anything to feel cool. We met at a Lululemon. Oh my gosh. No, asshole. Asshole. Is that a Cuban? No, man. Keep on doing it. I don't know why it came out like that. No, asshole. Because you're a psychopath. I just saw The Good Shepherd again. That's the way it starts. We have a stranger in our house. John Turturro says it. Very well. Very well what? He says it very well. Yeah. Anyway. You, not so much. No. You're trying to crowbar it into a casual conversation. But listen, I'm fine with it. I don't roll with a crew. That's like a vacation move to me. You think so? If you're on an all-inclusive, oh, I'm going to carry this into the thing. These people were not on vacation. No. That's like New Orleans, Charleston, down the shore. Yeah, that I'll give you. But I mean, yeah, if I'm at the pub with my mom and she rolls out with a fucking, with a roadie, it's a tough look. It's a tough look. Put that in a coffee cup, hon. All right. Yeah. Curious. See where you stood on it. Gentlemen such as yourself. Sure. You wear Lululemon socks, but you're also a pretty big dirtbag. Thanks. You know? Kind of walk in both worlds. Well, the Lululemon socks, I would argue are, I mean, that was an that's, I'm trying to get my feet better. That's old man shit. That's never going to happen. No. Not at all. Never. And I don't think it's good for my circulation. Your feet aren't coming back. No, I know. They'll get a massage. Getting the weight off. Yeah, getting the weight off has helped. But and also, I got to be honest with you, my socks, if you've ever seen me podcast on Patreon without my socks, there's holes in my socks. These, these, I got these a week ago, two weeks ago. They're going to, these things are going to be cooked. I'm so big on like trying a lot of different things. Socks, underwear, especially. Like a lot of different brands. Every five years, refreshing that, getting like seeing what's new on the market. I'm not that guy. That's crazy. I used to be a Calvin Klein guy going all skims for my underwear now. Skims, the fucking Kardashian shit. Kim K brand. Man, you guys. Oh, socks and underwear. You guys. I like it. I'm surprised to see you in jeans again. Why? I didn't know how many pairs you had. You took a dookie in the other pair last time I saw you. You know, it's crazy. It is. Yes, it is. Uh-huh. I found out that bathing suit fit though. Yeah, which was Lululemon. No, it wasn't. Yes, it is. That's a Lululemon bathing suit? Yeah, because we even said it. I said, oh, that's Lululemon. Wait, why is there a Lululemon bathing suit here? I don't fucking know. Were they a sponsor? No. You sure it wasn't a Chubby's? I mean, you were, but I think it was a Lululemon, right? We all talked about it. I fit in that good. Yeah, I look because we were shocked. You said they and you that we said you typically where you're fucking and one fucking hot sauce and one and one is the he's the Chinese street baller and one and one. That's pretty good. Thanks. And one and one every time he hits it. Hey, yo. All right. But those were as the first time I seen you in a tailored fit of some kind, not, you know, your typical woo wear pants that I see you walking around it. Stuff to look pretty good. You got in the will from your dad. Yes, sir. It was a nice a tailored look. It's very nice. Plan is to let it grow. Let my hair grow out. Let it all grow bushy shaggy. And when I get down to close where I want to be do a quick fucking glow up. There you go. Focus on this. Focus. Focus on the stuff that's important in your life, gang. There you go. When everything else is about to blow, grow out your hair. You know how we do it. What? I said, you know how we do it. But I was just growing my hair. Fuck! You're going to be seconded as you're getting arrested. It was just the hair. It was almost to the point where I was going to trim it. And boom. Wayne's court. Give me six weeks. Prolong. Drag it out. All right. Listen, all that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hand. As you guys know when you join the old Patriona, which is at an all-time high. Listen, people of people. Yeah, people buy the, you know, the dry. I mean, listen, you know, if you're you probably know you probably don't. I don't know. Just check out Patreon. Things are having a good time. Wacky wild storylines. Some people tune in for the car crash gang. This would have very. I mean, this is this is why this is why it's a good program. First thing on my list. Not even fucking around. Let's go. This is from half carpet long time. Ten dollar investor. I've had one read before, but respect. Thanks for being honest. Sure. You's ever just had one sock on. Wow. That's a bad look recently. Recently. I can't really. It was a Lululemon. I can't really tell you the no. I can't really tell you the circumstances. Well, yeah. You lost your sock. Yeah. And it was nighttime and it was like just one sock. I don't know. It's just there. See, I'm I'm then. I mean, we were, you know, I thought we came off eventually. I thought we were birds of a feather. Whereas I'm a big no sock in shoes guy. Oh, love no socks. That's what I'm saying. So if I don't have one sock, my option is not to even if that socks on that socks coming off and I'm gone. We're all dog in the shoes. Yeah, it just doesn't. I don't know. We were kids younger. I know it's like like I know now how bad it is. What does no no, no socks. Sure. Like I know that I've just ruined this pair of sneakers. That's not completely true. It's not right. It's not it's not false, but it's not completely I have a couple wears. The fuse is lit on those shoes until them being over. I am right there, dude. I put them on last night to run the dog down for his night. Which one think he's these? Okay. And now by that I went down and right back up sweaty. Oh, man. Man, I as I put them in I went these are these are done. So yeah, it sucks, but they feel so good. You feel young. You feel fast. I feel wealthy. If I have like a newer pair of shoes and I slip in without shit, they're they're wealthy. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it makes me feel rich. Huh? I go this is because I used to be so you don't do that because that's all you got really can now go. Well, if these shit the bed in two months, I I got, you know, I got the 89 99 to get a new pair. That's the way you look at it. They're your bombers. What do you mean? Like you don't give a shit. Not that I don't give a shit. I just know that like the consequence of putting your bare foot in a shoe a very heavy foot sock talk this week. Your consequence of putting my sweaty. If you only had one pair of skank toe. Yeah. Feet in my thing. Raw dogged. I know there's no coming back from that. No, it feels illegal when I do it. I don't like you don't like he feels like I'm going on the run. It's like we're different guys. I didn't have that. I didn't have the time to put my socks on. Well, what could I be doing? I haven't had my afternoon tea yet either. I had a pair of green airwalks from TJ Maxx not even airwalks from like the skate store. Uh-huh. TJ Maxx. He was like corduroy. They were like a test they were like a test shoe that they put out and nobody must have bought. Dude, corduroy sneakers are rough. Dude, corduroy. And they went both directions. The cords went like horizontal and then in the middle they went vertical. It was bad. And I must have worn these things. Oh, I got them in a springtime. I wore them all summer by August. And then we're outside a lot. You know, my mom's a little absent. That's not a summer shoe either. No. Corduroy. Dark corduroy. They were like army green. Jesus. And dude, by the end of the summer, my mom was like, what the hell is that smell? The hell? Oh my god. That's freedom, mom. That's freedom. That's money, baby. That's fucking sunny days and heaters, girl. That's straight cash, girl. Yeah. I remember you had to like power wash them, you know what I mean? Yeah. Sucks. Go spray your feet out. I hated that. Dude, having to spray your feet with a hose in the backyard before you're allowed in the house. Man. Tough McGillicuddy. Kim, let's talk about ZocDoc. ZocDoc. Let's talk about ZocDoc. Talk about genius. Coming up with a way to book your doctor's appointments, to find out what doctor's in your network, who takes your insurance, are they close to you, this, that, do they? Dude, you ever call a doctor's office? Hey, do you guys take this? They'll call you back and, oh no, we don't take that version of the insurance. Oh, that version of you. That version kills you. We don't do the gold plan. We do the silver plan. Well, I got the gold plan, lady. Uh-huh. I'm peeing blood here. Not with ZocDoc, baby. Listen, I, a personal use of ZocDoc, I found my primary care doctor on ZocDoc, all randomly. I needed a doctor. I go, what am I gonna do? It was the insurance. I was looking. Sure. I was qualified. Oh, we got the silver, bronze, blah, blah, blah. I was, not everywhere took me. I went in, typed it in, boom, we take you. Found him. He's right by here. No kidding. Shout out to him. There you go. I went for a physical. He's now my guy. I loved him. He was great. Good reviews. And not to diminish it, but it makes It makes it like a restaurant or like a business kind of. Hey, here are the reviews. This is what the real – you get the real feel of a doctor's office. Not this, hey, welcome in, blah, blah, blah. And it takes out the bureaucracy, if that's even the word. I don't think it is. No, I got you. The big, scary administration part gets kicked aside, and you make the choices. Your health matters, and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. If you're ready to be seen, I know I am. Head to ZocDoc.com slash garbage to get started and check the appointment off your to-do list. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash garbage. Do it. Kip, let's talk about Ultra. Ultra. Let me ask you a question, gang. You got trouble sleeping? Mm-hmm. Do you wish you could fall asleep faster, sleep deeper? Yes, yes, yes. And wake up without grogginess? Oh, the grogginess. Ooh. Is your sleep score lower than what it says on your Whoop or your Oura Ring or your Apple Watch? Do you currently use any sleep aids that are too strong? And melatonin, I'd knock you out. You wake up next week. Do yourself a favor. Get a little Ultra. Get yourself straightened out. Yes. You can switch to Ultra's new sleep pouches. I've recently switched to take the edge off and help you drift away into dreamland. And it's been a complete game changer. The idea behind it is great. Everyone's using pouches for increased focus and energy. But Ultra took the idea and flipped it on its head. That's right. Like all great IDs, you take something, you flip it. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom. The pouches help you wind down and fall asleep, and they help me stay asleep. That's my big problem is staying asleep with the pouches. I can stay asleep. There's one milligram of melatonin dosed at the clinically optimal range so that you're not overdosing and feeling groggy the next day. Because let me tell you, that is a B word when you're feeling groggy. It's got L-theanine, reduces anxious thoughts while you're falling asleep. It's got magnesium, chamomile, passionflower, and lemon balm extracts to support sleep maintenance. Got to work on this, dog. Mm-hmm. Ultra sleep pouches deliver better, deeper sleep with properly dosed and natural ingredients. New customers can use the code garbage and get 15% off at takeultra.com. That's takeultra.com. Takeultra.com for 15% off with the code garbage. After you purchase, they're going to ask how you heard about them, support the show, and tell them the bullies freaking sent you. Yeah. My one friend's dad wouldn't let me wear just bare feet in the house. He's like, you had to put socks on. I had another. I had a family that did that to me. I was sticking to the floor. They were so bad. You're walking up the wall. Yeah, man. I just like it. I love it. I love it. I was wearing not these, but you know those running sneakers that I have that are all fucking. They're all fucked up. They're all dirty. I got them like, I don't know, a month ago, and they're just trashed. Man, wearing those with no socks and like seeing them peek out of my jeans, just feel cool and young. Yeah. I don't know what it is. And like a couple miles an hour faster. Sure. You get cooking. It's crazy. It's a different vibe. You feel a little different. It really is. When I put these on, I honestly, it's like, Dad, I feel secure. I feel confident. I feel. I think it's good. It's because they're nerdy looking, and I don't care. I can't be worried about how my socks and shoes look. I got bigger fucking problems. I got a fry. I'm locked in dad mode. That's why I think dads look corny. Like, yeah, give me the fucking new balances and the fucking tight jeans. I got shit to do, guy. I can't be bogged down wearing them. That's how you see it. Do you see like an old dad? I mean, you used to have a bit about this, but like a dad, like a cool, cool dad who's like, has too many accessories. I did used to have a bit about this. I'm sure. I'm sure I have a feeling it'll be coming back. I'll see if you guys can see it in Appleton. You just go all like, how do you have time to worry about like. Like the guy that, I'm sure he has kids, but the guy that does the real estate downtown with the salt and pepper hair. Nah, he's cool though. I know. I know he's cool, but I'm just saying, he dresses hot. Yeah, but that looks, that guy looks, because that's just like he's in his pants and a t-shirt. I don't know. Like a cream knitted like polo shirt. Like a wine bar with the kid. No, not even that. With the pencil tats or whatever. What? A wine bar with the kid? I see it all the time now. He's down there. What the hell is Luke talking about? He's down in the cool guy neighborhood. Dad's at wine bars with your kids? That's all I see. It's like moms and dads having like the Sunday night. Like hipster dads. Yeah. Some guy who's like, oh, I have like, I'll, I have the one article of clothing that sums it up completely. The fucking knitted hat. No, I don't have it. I have it to give to you. To tell you. To tell you. Which I'm sure you, I'll see you wearing this shortly. It's the knitted hat rolled up over the ears. That thing serving no purpose. You want it only for looks and you look like a dickhead. Oh yeah. That to me, if I see a guy walking his kid with that, I'm like, you're worried about how your hat, your non-functional hat looks. You mean like a, like a stocking hat, like a winter hat. Yeah. Like a knitted hat. But rolled up over the, it's not like you just threw it on like, oh, we're running to school. Hipster style. Yeah. It's like, I want to look cool when I take my kid to school. Right. That's what I, I have. I have trouble getting behind. Also, I don't know if I ever said this. I saw him again today. I see there's this dad in my neighborhood, drops his kids off to school on a motorcycle. Did I ever tell you that? It's crazy. Wait, you go to, these are babies. Drops the baby off? He drops his two kids off at school in my neighborhood. Whoa. They do. You hear him. I'm walking the dog every morning. He comes peeling up. Are they both on the bike? They're both on the bike. There's one holding them both in the front. I don't, I can't recall. I haven't, I can't recall. Damn. They got little helmets. It's cute. It's cute. Very dangerous. And he then, he then takes the helmets. He hooks them on the, like a Ducat, like a, like a ninja bike. Not even, not even, I'm not even talking heavy bike. I'm talking. Really? I'm talking rice rocket. This is heavy bike. What was his name? Do you remember? Fuck. Don Cheadle's name. Oh no, it wasn't Don Cheadle. It was Don Cheadle playing the stunt man in Ushuaia. He was in the Russians. 12. Yeah. No, 13. We're talking heavy bike. Basher. Basher. No. No, that was his name. Yeah. He played, he then. He was impersonating. He looked like a. Like an Evel Knievel type guy. Okay, heavy bike. But yeah, that's crazy too, right? That's another thing where I'm like, this is very performative. Fender Rhodes. Fender Rhodes. I'm talking Fender Rhodes. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah. But any who. Before. Our new spinoff sock talk. We've been talking about socks for 45. That's the magic of the show, baby. That's what keeps us in the charts. That's where we go. Uh-huh. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Phil 90 X. Great name. Very nice. Very good name. Shout out to Phil X. Shout out to Phil X. Was talking to him this weekend about moving some things around. Have to get some more sock money. We're switching to conservative investments. Really? Yeah. Playing it fast and loose the last couple weeks, huh? Somebody has been. I got to hedge my personal bets based on the personal decisions of someone else. Luke, I messed up. Hand up. Hand up. Shouldn't have been at that wine bar wearing that fucking douchey fitted hat. This is from Phil 90 X. Phil 90 X. Great name. That just makes me feel good about what we've built. Phil 90 X. $10 sizzly here. Is it garbage if your three-year-old daughter puts her dolls on the porch steps of her dollhouse and says they're sitting there because they're smoking? Holy heck. Welcome to the show. I love that. She knows too much at this age. Way too much. That's great. That's so good. That's so good, dude. That makes me feel pretty good about the future generations. Yeah. We're not, you know, we're not becoming two or five. This girl's still playing, still playing heaters with her dolls. Still playing heater. Playing heaters, huh? Come on over. Bring your lighter. They're sitting on the porch having a heater waiting for that loudmouth on CNN. Waiting for that liberal scum to keep running her mouth. That's so cute. Like a tea party, but a heater party instead. She's like got a fake lighter, like a Fisher-Price lighter. That's great, dude. That's awesome. Holy shit. That's the shit. They're ripping heaters, dad. Pouring black coffee instead of tea. Cracking beers. They all got a Dunkin'. That's great, man. That's beautiful. Truly. That's like we talked about on Skanks. My mom was against it, but the baby, we were at my brother's house. The baby kept bringing us beers, and he liked being part of it. We were like, no. Yeah, give one to Uncle Danny. Give one to Dad. He don't know their beers. He don't know their beers, but we're having it. We're inclusive, and it's a good time. And it just, there's something dirtbaggy in me that makes it, you go, that's my boy. Yeah, I look back and think about that stuff. Is that stuff that, you know, triggered anything? I don't think so. I mean, I don't think it helped. I don't think making seven and sevens with a twist of lemon at five and a half didn't help your fucking drug and alcohol problem. Working for tips. I remember hearing that one. Yeah, but so many kids did that. There's a lot of drug people with drug and alcohol problems. That's a small amount compared to the macro numbers here. It's all good fun. Sure. I'm not against it. I'm okay with it. Yeah. I remember, I don't even know who this guy was. I want to say it was an uncle, but I feel like it wasn't an uncle. This guy was in our life for a little while. It always is, isn't it? Yeah. He was an uncle, but he wasn't. He was around for two years, three years. Oh, man. There's a guy. Shout out. That's like me. I don't know if our family's still friends. There was a guy named Twig. Twig would come. Twig was at all of our ease. guy shout out twiggy he ain't around i think there was a i don't know what happened i want to speak out of turn and put air puff twig something i did the beef in or so i don't know he was my uncle's boy but twig which i also think is the guitarist for marilyn manson uh twiggy twiggy right i think so but uh yeah he was around he was he was a staple for all of my you know him and another one and another woman nancy bubbles nancy bubbles was around for a hot minute um but there was this guy and he would i he he would i'd go up and get him drinks at a party at a hall somewhere i want to say it was like a knights of columbus or fire hall or whatever somewhere we were having birthday parties or like holy communion parties um and he's like go up there order me a seven and seven with a twist of lemon and the fact that it rhymed was like the funniest fucking and i you know i must have got him back 15 seven and 14s with lemon you know what i mean seven and seven seven i guess is seven and seven up yeah seven and seven with a twist of lemon and it rhymed and i was like this guy is a fucking that is an old school highball right there yeah nasty and as much as i've drank i've never had a fucking seven and seven with a twist of lemon i know how to order them though shade though and give them to this guy he was for sure probably pedophile hanging around hanging around the parties too much seven and seven with a twist of lemon there was always just two that was the problem with such a big family there's too many then not that there was any pedophile i'm saying that as a joke but the the the buddy for a couple of years you know what i mean what like really got in there was a guy that watched me all summer he watched me danny and liam all summer all summer i don't even know if that guy i don't know where that guy is he took us out on boats he took us to the beach girl yeah he was a cook he was he was a he was he wasn't like a like a college kid no he was the husband of my aunt's friend i think and we all kind of stayed in a house in sea isle we all everybody pulled together oh yeah a house for the just when your mom was working my mom and aunt were working and we would somebody with the kids would stay down the shore and then they would drive back up to philly for like they work shift work so they work like monday tuesday wednesday 12 hours or whatever and we were just posted up at the i guess that was probably the cheapest way to babysit us so it's just you three with a stranger down the shore he was the man and i think my mom said she bumped into him recently he's still like oh yeah he used to raise my kids hey you know one still has big heady smokes yeah they all got drinking problems one's got a one's a bit of a fighter you know what i mean what the fuck he's he was the man he was uh i think i i want to say is this is crazy i want to say his wife's name was bunny bunny and steve right that's got second marriage all over and now they were he was the man they were awesome they watched he like watched us he was and i guess he was just like a big kid or whatever and we were just like i don't know we were just vibed all summer because dude i remember i remember fishing with this guy because you could go rent one of those wooden boats where you drive from the back and stay in the bay they must have been in the 90s they were probably like 15 bucks a day so you'd be like we throw six kids on a boat which just seems crazy no life jackets um and we would just go crabbing a lot of flamboyant material cigarettes couple of beers fireworks uh yeah wow we were yeah that was but again a lot of those sure coming around and dude down the shore was different in the 90s it was just like as long as there's an adult one one adult one adult for 15 kids yeah two may or may not have known the kids i remember my mom them sending like 30 kids 20 30 kids to the beach with like one or two adults yeah and being like hey oh coming back yeah 20 kids what it was it's yeah i mean somebody's slipping under the under the riptide a rip current take you out yeah lost a lot of good kids out there yeah more doritos for everybody different time yeah um but let's see here all right uh that was a great one um all right let's see this one's from riley ten dollar bug man exterminator never have never have one read and that was a lie shout out to you very cute the boys are hitting today is it garbage if your wife's drunk aunt came to your son's fourth birthday party at your house and took multiple plates of leftovers to her car before the party was even close to being over me and my wife noticed and immediately went out to her car when nobody was looking and took them all back to her house and took multiple plates of leftovers to her back no huh that's i mean one really dragging out of the mud it's she's but yeah she she's making you fight a fight you don't want to fight yeah essentially you're dragging into the mud uh multiple i mean yes insane that she's taking that back to your wife's drunk aunt to her car i guess she's driving home sure i don't think there was a chauffeur i don't think there was a driver in that car four somebody waiting for her uh-huh um yeah that's i mean that's insanely trashy but then you going back and stealing them and not letting not going hey just let her play you got in the mud with her i respect but also dirtbag yeah if i'm a guest of that party and i get the old car food i am not happy about it man you get deviled eggs have been sweating for a minute you're unwrapping that putting it back in the sterno tray like mix it up mix it all back in there that's good we gotta put back jesus that's isn't it true that if you take grocery stuff grocery food grocery store food off the shelves you can't put it back uh i mean i think if it leaves the building or something like that oh if it goes to checkout you're allowed to put it back i think we did get it i mean i did like if somebody was like if it got there and went oh i don't want this we go okay if it was like a box of cereal you'd let it sit until you got a minute you can take it back yourself or send it back but if it was like meat somebody would run it right back oh no kidding i think so what do you got on uh lucas uh no grocery store food generally cannot go back on shelves once it leaves the store or is left unattended out of its proper temperature zone yeah i think if it if you get to the register and go i don't want this anymore but like if you find if you find a couple of pork chops on the fucking bread aisle that someone just put there that's got to get dumped because you don't know how long it's been there you know what i mean which people do it's crazy i did it the other day i felt you did not with that no and with clothes which i never do because i worked i don't it's annoying but it's not pork chop yeah it's not pork no i know but i did i was like looking for but i literally just threw it i went i can't i can't that guy wasn't helping me he iced me this fucking kid i used to be like 15 times i walked by him damn and i was just like i asked him for help he didn't give it to me i was just like late and he was like yeah treat me like i'm an asshole it's the last time h&m gets my money sure you know what i mean i'm with you uh and i was trying it just was i did i just was just here i'm done i can't i'm not doing yeah that's different i've seen like half a rotisserie chicken like yeah that's got to be it's got to be like a rice-a-roni yeah yeah yeah that's got to go pick through kevin's talking about cash app talking about the best in the my favorite uh-huh cash app yes okay you know it's safe you know it's secure you know they don't hassle you send in receiving money not to mention they got that cash app card now what are we doing over here we're not talking about old school banking we're talking about overdraft charges and all that kind of stuff you want to go cash app green baby does 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Do it. Kip, can I tell you something about Chubbies? Chubbies. Can I be honest with you? Please, for once in your life. Be honest with the folks. Uh-huh, for once in your life. With the sponsors. Chubbies. Chubbies. Chubbies came into our lives a couple of years ago. I was about four and a quarter. Four and a quarter. Big boy. Four and a half. Big boy. Four and a half. Sitting on four and a half. Most of that muscle. Sure, obviously. No, I'm kidding. Lean muscle. Chubbies sent us stuff. I didn't fit into it. Uh-huh. It wasn't until this summer where I got into my first pair of Chubbies, and man. Ain't no looking back. There really isn't. I know. I mean, I'm talking about the way they fit. I feel like a European model. Yes. The short shorts a little bit. They're nice and cozy to stretch. Shout out to Chubbies, man. Yes, they're comfy, casual, and built for life. Chubbies original stretch shorts can live on your legs. Available in long, longish, short, and way short. Listen, I tried the way short. A little too short for me. I'm hanging brain up these things. Let's be real. Shout out to the classic line swim trunks. That's how they made their bones back then with the swim trunks. I remember seeing my cousin Mikey, big burly guy. He was wearing them on the beach. I said, that's cool guy stuff. I got to get me some of that. You got your Chubbies performance polos. You pair that with the shorts for a backyard party. Brunch, actually crashing a wedding. Whatever you do, you're ready to get going. Whether you're layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy summers, or just leaning fully into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners $20 off your order with the code garbage at chubbyshorts.com. That's code garbage at chubbyshorts.com. Support the show and show your thighs some respect. We're Chubbies. Do it now. Back to the show. Back to the show. This one's great. I believe this is from Wade Boggs Beers. I kind of got mixed up in the copy and paste from Patreon here. It says, are your paper plates still in the half-torn open plastic? The real feel, what's going on in your house. Ours are like that right now in the studio. Yes. Yes, they are. But we got the pretty good ones. We have more like cardboard plates. We got the thick ones. The ones with the depth, which growing up, we didn't have. Can I say this? I feel like the paper plate is coming back a little bit. I love a paper plate. Right? We went out to lunch the other day, me, my wife, and my son. And they did a thing that I never saw. Oh, God. These New York numbers keep calling me. Nothing to do with me. Yeah, I don't think people are looking for Luke. I got a call from Chase Bank today. Really? And then he sent me, he left a voicemail. And it was like, something, something, Henry. And I'm like, get the fuck out of here. His name was Henry, though. I was like, get the fuck out of here. This rat fuck. And give me that bullshit here and there in a kippy disguise. You got a huge paper mache head on. I borrowed a kid for a little while. You got big white Lululemon. These are Lululemons. They're on the wrong feet. Get the fuck out of here. One of those AI face masks. Those things are scary. Yeah, I don't fuck with them. They can throw off the cams and stuff. But fuck, what were we saying? Oh, the paper plates. And instead of, a lot of you order something for the baby, you know, they bring it and then you're like, it's glass and whatever. They dropped a paper plate with paper utensil, plastic utensils. I went, this is great because he can't smash it. If he throws it, it's not breaking. Yeah, I'm like, oh, this is we're doing this at home. We're all paper plates all the time. Love it. Grew up smart, grew up all paper plates, love a paper plate. There was coming back. I don't think I as like in a like into my I mean, when I think I moved out into my twenties was the final time I kind of transitioned that I guess I lived there. I lived in my mom's right before. I came up here. Yeah. So 30, I got 28 as a pit stop, pit stop, 28. I would never use a plate like an actual plate. It was, we were, it was always paper plates, 100% of the time pizza, anything I was making went on paper plate, two, three paper plates. Sometimes if you need course, we always did the really cheap paper, like flattened the ones you wait, the ones you get from like the pizza place. Yeah. Cool. That's our whole lives still. She'll do that. You need like six of those. Oh, I know. I know. Put a steak on there, dude, eating Eggo waffles on that thing. You ate half the plate. The syrup would rip or would soak that thing. And then you can't use a real knife and fork on that. Once it gets a little moisture, you're eating plate. Oh, it sucked. It sucked, dude. I hated it. Suck it up. Like napalm fucking yeah, that's a, but she, Denise. I would take them out of the plastic, like the 500 stack or whatever. Stack them up nice and put them on. We had like a wicker, uh, like, you know, whatever, like a thing you would put like a pod on or like a wicker basket kind of thing. And that they were above the microwave. Yeah. And I remember being a kid, I'd have to jump up on the counter, stand on the counter to get to that thing, to get a paper plate, which we could have put a couple on account for me when I'm home alone, fatty, hungry, probably put them there. So I wouldn't eat. Yeah. Right. Bitch. Trying to stop me. They're up on the roof of the neighbor's house. They're in a bear bag out back. Uh, can't stop me. You want a paper plate? Can't be. I don't remember that. Waster. That's I come in. I'm all swollen. I'm all stung up. Yeah. Looking back, she's probably trying to keep me. She knew you were chubby. Uh, they would have conversations out in the open about it. It's brutal. I remember someone. Making a, making a peanut butter joke about the amount of peanut butter. I ate and my sister, we were on the way to big boulder, Jack Frost. And one, I never told you one of these, it was like a sports illustrated magazine or something. I don't know who the fuck was reading this. You read that? I cut a bag of waffles. Um, one of the facts. Was like, Americans eat three football fields, a pizza, three football fields, a peanut butter, like three feet deep every year. So it was like trying to get one American. No, that's my sister. She said America, you know, total of Americans eat three football fields. And she said, I think it was my sister and she went, yeah, Kevin's two of his two of the fields. And I'm my world folded in on itself did dump it. And my mom's like, you know what? I was like, well, that's all he eats. I got to give it. Like she got defensive that she's only feeding me peanut butter. That's all I wanted. Don't talk about chasing the dragon. I imagine you just permanently sleepy, like a lot of heavy car, like an old biggie. Like, oh man, you can't get, you can't get the engine clean with that. Nah, dude. I was doing that and then going to snowboard or whatever. I was trying to get up and go have a protein shake kid. Will you? Yeah, man, a lot of enriched flower in my child, a lot of bleach flower down that empty. It's all empty calories, a roll, an Amoroso roll loaded with peanut butter and a screaming cold Coke. I never understood what that meant. Empty calories. You should learn, oh God, that's funny. Brutal. Let's see. This is from another great name. This is from Kid Rock Bottom. Great name. Is it garbage if the electrician you found on Facebook asked, did you want to pull permits for all this? Are you trying to keep it under the radar? That's great. That's your kind of guy. That's only thing I wouldn't fuck around with them. Electric. Yeah. Yeah. Just cause it scares me. It's what we always learn. You can't fuck with it. No, you just can't. Water, whatever. Yeah. Hey, it's a leak. I don't want him fucking like shooting himself at the house. Fucking have to bury him there. Oh man. Panic. Patty always put it fast and loose with the electricians. Okay. And we're back. A couple of roofers too, I heard. I love you, Patty. How dare you. And you tell that Kevin. Listen, me and Patty, the only fucking thing you got back to back, we're like me and me and Patty. Like Danny Glover. What's with you today? Mel. What's with me today? Yeah. What do you mean? You're stuttering. You're forgetting stuff. Yeah. Whatever. It happens. One or two flubs. You need to take your ivermectin or whatever it is. Yeah. Ginkgo biloba. Uh huh. Something. Sure. I got a couple of notes for you too. Fair enough. Um. All the blood strapped in his ankles. Yeah. Can't get out of the fucking, the Lululemon death grip. Yeah. You're not supposed to wear those rolled up. You're supposed to pull them up high. They're up high. Yeah. They're supposed to get even. Cause they're compression socks, aren't they? Yeah. Pop up. Yeah, they are. Keep the blood flow going. No, they're not compression socks. They're just socks for a skinnier man, a more athletic frame. You're telling me how to wear my compression socks and I'm on shit. Shit. Um, all right. This one's from Taylor. Never had one read. Is it garbage to pronounce it Rod Chester instead of Rochester? I'm probably guilty of saying Rod Chester, Rochester, Rochester, Rochester, Detroit. I get that from my mom. there in detroit it's so trashy it's so trashy uh-huh your mom said that detroit i'm detroit she says something else too caribbean the caribbean i think it's the car down here in the caribbean and all you all inclusive at the caribbean little layover in detroit huge she says huge humans sure human that's a huge human human human human like a human being like yeah he's a human being yeah so there was a shot coming at me somewhere in there no too little slow not you're lucky i didn't take my fucking like uh whatever antihistamines i got nothing you see your antihistamines why do you have an allergy allergies uh i'm allergic to broke are you done huh well god broke boy yeah no broke boys nope no new friends um all right let's see here um this one's from money mark 90 said great name also long time ten dollar homie besides when i go broke in the payment laps and his name's money mark that's great amen um you's ever known anyone struck by lightning you've ever known anyone struck by lightning which we've talked about then this there was a response to that me i was up to my waist in water and boom spicy that's how he described getting electrocuted yeah that was from aunt toady's luba lube was the response to that does he say anything else no just that fuck yeah up to your that's trying to say how did i kill him i don't know i'm very curious at the body of water because you would have said in the pool this was if this feels like it was some sort of crick or tributary flood water or something do you ever see sometimes when it's when it strikes like a lake or something it's like like yeah catastrophic yeah fuck you up blows up the water crazy i don't mess with a dog i do not i feel like that would have to give you superpowers sucks right you ever see doesn't it doesn't make sense no that's why you're cooked it does though you're fucking fingers crossed to get electrocuted one final fucking comeback spiders biting you oh man let's keep hanging on that room of yours it's gonna happen that thing is a web yikes my geeks you leave my spiders alone um another language one this is great this is from toady's mug man ten dollar squad member do you say antibiotics or antibiotics antibiotics antibiotic he's antibiotic couple antibiotics get a z-pack good for you i'm in antibiotics antibiotics i was uh i said this before but during the pandemic we're on the beach in wildwood and some lady went the hell's in any body anyway anybody any anyway was a great she died two weeks later sure mass spreader event sure um anybody antibodies uh i feel like we've done this but it was she was posted and maybe i pulled it before a lot of upvotes so i believe so i believe it wasn't is it garbage if your high school girlfriend was the high school mascot that's us that's a that's got to be a strong broad right sick and twisted love affair that's my girl she's the bull or whatever you know what i mean yeah it's never like there's been like banned or something what do you know well you don't know what to mascot was it's all high school mascots are never like you know it could be a big suit here's the fucking victoria's secret model you know what i mean it's princess peach or whatever yeah it's always like this is fucking you know it's like an armadillo a fucking you know imagine being that lucky man sure she's got a lot of school spirit yeah she's probably you're probably athletic you gotta be sure you can't be a slouch you gotta be locked in a lot of pep a lot of pep can't be a lot of peanut butter yeah sure i can't be a lot of peanut butter i can't be a lot of peanut butter actually she's probably more like a gymnast if you think about it maybe you got to be able to fucking maybe move you know what i mean or you're not you're not built like me doing it you never had a high school girlfriend kept it's kept single all through high school yeah never date it no take somebody to prom and all that stuff yeah but never like romantically wasn't until really i guess freshman year yeah fresh i guess yeah freshman year college really but a girl from high school kind of she was in high school yeah no what what the heck talk about a fucking bamboozle guy jesus well we got that on tape chase bank i think that's all you need get them red team go red team go holy shit oh my god almost sunk the whole goddamn operation um all right let's see i knew he was no good there he is pervert get him sit in your chair counting all the money uh let's see oh shit what nothing uh this one's tell me nothing tell me shut up haven't you done enough damage telling people nothing is like the best thing ever i hate it what oh no nothing dude i fucking hate that shit your feeble brain could never understand it yeah whatever fucking mush you're gonna tell me you're not fucking soup for brains no i'm not gonna tell you damn why am i gonna tell you this one's from uh no i can't do this one he wouldn't get it uh let off this one's not good for this one hits a little too close to home me and luke will talk about this one later just making a fucking make his head explode he's having a little bit of fun but he's seething on the inside not at all there he is the honest hank we all not at all locked in i love you guys and hope you do well i wish you well now tell me what the fuck you said we're gonna cut you're really not gonna tell me you're really not gonna tell me i'm over that i'm over that phase of my life since when i ever did a lot of self self-help this weekend i did okay a lot of reflection uh-huh deep personal personal got electrocuted struck by lightning three inches of water deep body of water um all right this one's from foley's bastard son oh jeez uh ten bone homie special was great thank you very much had one read uh is it garbage you let your kids stay home from school just because they missed the bus jesus man that'd be like my kids yeah fuck it that's crazy uh-huh never never yeah that's garbage you're not trying hard enough what as a parent said anything listen maybe you need a reset day i get that what was it i wonder if he's if he's staying home too well that i think like fun denise would do that maybe once every two years maybe if she was home if she had the day off or something and i don't know say danny was sick or something if there was a world where like we could all stay home she might there was a time she flexed that muscle a couple of times really good parents do well yeah i think like if danny was sick and she's like why i have to call out of work anyway because i remember there's a couple times i woke up where they were still danny and sarah were still there and i'm like something's because they went to school earlier than me oh and i'm like they were in junior high and i was in elementary school your first talk the peanut butter my peanut butter toast um and i would like i'd go something and they'd be like we're staying they're staying you can stay home we're staying home we're going to a movie or something not a movie no we had to fucking we stayed in a house we had a very would you would you waddle back to bed no really no couple hours not at this point she's cooking she ain't working she's got the fight something scrambies going they just bacon in here that's why i woke my fat ass out of bed a couple of sausage patties or links for the boy then a little shutdown no i mean i'm like at this point i'm like seven what kind of seven-year-old gets up eats and goes back to bed dude you're fucking are you that fucking insulin resistant that's crazy dude what seven-year-old shuts it back down like he's like like he's a coal miner all right all right thanks ma wake me up for uh price is right i gotta go oh if my teacher calls tell her i'm sick no yeah no rolling it shut her down that's crazy you're such a fat ass it's wild you shut it down after that you tell me you're not gonna have egg waffles and immediately go to bed and watch sopranos ow i feel like peter pan when he couldn't remember i couldn't i couldn't think of what it was like to be a little kid you know figure eat that take a huge take it don't shut it down jerk off don't come in a computer room neither oh man you're full of life back then yeah yeah probably me and danny start fighting or whatever you know what i mean get something going yeah um yeah yeah yeah for sure it's kind of funny i had this the little kipperino started daycare and we got to take the subway to to get them to daycare and the subway was fucked. We had to transfer. The subway was running late. There's just all, you're sitting there. One of those things where you're like, just sitting for 15 minutes. And I'm like, fuck, what time is it? We got to be there by 8.30. I'm texting her. I'm like, can you send a message to the fucking thing? And I'm like, I'm paying these motherfuckers. Like, what am I? I like resort back to that. For some reason, as kids, obviously it was like insane if you missed the bus. If they had to drive it, they had to drive. Oh my God, if you're late, God forbid, you have to go in and sign them in if you missed the day. It was like this pressure cooker of getting to fucking a random Tuesday in fourth grade on time that has zero consequence, zero positive consequence in the rest of my life. Only negative. Of course, that's a end up fucking kids miss the bus or staying home. Sure. I mean, yeah, it's listen, but we don't need to go like, you know, we're not pulling a fucking bank job where I'm like, you know, where you got to get there and get in. Is there a penalty for showing up late? What on mine? Yeah. With the little Kipperino? Yeah. Maybe I, but I'm going, I don't give a fuck. I'm paying you people a decent amount of money. All right. It's I'm over correcting. I'm going to say my attitude is going like, oh, I can't. It's also my therapist told me I don't have the tools to have a normal conversation. I'm going, I'm sorry, I'm late. I have to go. I'm fucking you. Who cuts your check? I got to go. Sure. Right to the top. Right. I respect. I go right to the top. Let me talk to your boss. Get personal real quick. Hey, you fat bitch. What the fuck? You snaggle tooth whore. The fuck's talking to you? Like, I let you watch me. Just losing it. Where's your husband? Let me slap him around a little bit. No, but that's in me to be like, we can't be, we can't, we can't. And like, my wife doesn't really have that. I'm like, can you message them? She's like, it's fine. And I'm like, oh yeah. Is it? Well, I never know whether it's fine or not. I don't know what's fine. I mean, I think it's fine. If a 18 month old is 10 minutes late to daycare. Yeah. I think it's fine. I don't have to message. Don't worry about it. I'm so bad at like determining that stuff. I know. Yeah. It's weird. It's not that weird. Just bad. You just said the same thing. What? You didn't know whether it was text him or not. No, I'm saying text them. I'm not saying I don't know. I'm saying, I'm not saying I don't know. But yeah, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. And also I'm saying at the end of the day, I don't really, I have a poor, I'm expressing myself poorly, but it's saying I don't really care if they care. Gotcha. Is the part I'm, I don't know how to really say that though. I have to go, I'll fucking kill you. Right. But yeah, at the end of the day, if they're upset with me, I have to get okay with them being upset that my toddler was late for school. Sure. You're also not making a habit of it, which is like a thing where I think it's like, it's a problem. It's like, Hey, every day we're at, we're coming in late. Well, I think it gets disruptive then. I feel like, Hey, the other 10 kids are here. And when someone comes in and he tries to leave, someone cries, that makes five more kids cry. Then we're dealing with the fucking, you know, it's always like, yeah, it's the first couple of days where, yeah, like a mental institution, craziness, just kids crying, just kids crying. Um, yeah, but losing their mommy and daddy. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you still cry over your father. Fucking parents. Yeah. They're 50. These kids are like 14 months. They don't know what the fuck's going on. Um, all right. This one's from Holy Foley. Is it, I feel like we've might've talked about this, but it is, is it garbage to cut up all your food on the plate and eat it? My girlfriend started doing this at a high end steakhouse and I was mortified. I'm in the middle on this and I'm trashy. I have my, and I have poor manners, but I do it. What? I don't know. It's a nice thing. If somebody did it for me, it's so, I mean, why don't you just, you're just, you're just criticizing toddlers for crying and you want somebody to cut your yum yum. Here comes the trade. Nice little cubes of filet mignon. I, I'll cut. This is what I'll do. I'll cut like two to three pieces ahead of time. Cause I like using steak as an example. Yeah. All right. I'll do like you said, I get a filet. Yeah. I'll probably cut, but you know, let's say it's like kind of why, you know, I'll cut maybe one or two slices slices. Then I'll probably cut each one of those slices in half. So that, that leaves me with four pieces. I then, then I'll do because my, yes, then I'll do. Cause my thing is I cut, this is the American way. I knife in my right fork in my left. Yes. Right. I then put my knife down, switch my fork over, which they say, which feels trashy. And as I didn't realize until, I don't know, probably two years ago that you can't do that switch over. And then I'll do like, if I got my mash, if I got my brussies, whatever I got going, I'll do a little combo Thanksgiving dinner. But that way I have four good clean bites where I don't have to do the heavy lifting in the middle. Yeah. Like an assembly line. Then you say you feel after that and you start slicing again, you start slicing. Maybe I'll do one slide. Maybe I'll do three slices in the whole conversations going. I want to be like, I want to be locked in vibe in here. Right, right, right. That's me. And that's true. I mean, that is cutting it all up. Cutting it all up is crazy, but you can pre cut some. And that's coming from a, that's coming from a man child. So take that pre cut half the steak you get. That's a lot. It's a lot, but I'm saying that's too much. I'm not saying it's not too much. Okay. I'm saying that's the, that's the line line. I see out of perimeter. I'll give you that. I'll give you a third. I'd give you a third. I really think it's a quarter for a lady. Nice lady. I would say it's less. That's less for a lady. Ladies are dainty. I need my, I need my protein. Okay. I'm doing my macros. Okay. Uh, yeah, it's not a good look. It's not, it's child. It's like all that only other, only children that, that happens for children. You know what? I used to kind of hate, but also kind of love when they were, when you were a kid and they'd cut half the slice of pizza. And then you get the full, like they cut the bottom of the triangle off. Yeah. Like, so you got a triangle, they'd cut it like here down and then leave you like two or three inches in the crust. And then I would eat that because I guess I was like too little to hold up the full, right? Floppy slice. They'd cut the point off like half, like say this is the, you know, they cut like halfway. Yeah. So there's no flop. Like the crust can, the integrity of the crust. There's no crust. No, it's mostly crust. It's mostly crust. No, but the bottom triangle is all cheese and whatever. Yeah, but I would cut, that would get cut into like bites. I would eat that with a fork. See, that's my favorite part of the pizza. What? That little, that, you know, the first couple of bites. I wish they could just, you know, it was all cheese, no crust. Mine's a crust. Really? Fun fact. Interesting. Gippy. Different people can disagree. Intelligent people can disagree. Are they here? Yeah. Those intelligent people? Yeah. Are at the table? Yep. Talking about socks and cutting pizza? That's right. Yeah, you heard me. You're the one who said you liked it. What? The pizza. As a kid, yeah. As a kid, that was my favorite thing because I felt like a girl, like I felt like a real boy. I get to eat the slice like my dad. The crust. All parents loved crust, which I was just like, crazy. Crazy. Yeah. I'll eat your crust. What the, are you a hobo? Go get another fucking slice, Dick. I can't eat my, eat my trash. I'll eat your crust. Pull a little peanut butter on that? Can't yell that. You need to crust. What the fuck, I'm four. Uh-huh. You said shit? I still have that. I was, I got wings as a starter the other day. You did? Uh-huh. By yourself? What? Like solo? Like, that was your appetizer? Uh, yeah. Huh. Were you with the missus? Mm-hmm. What's she gonna do? What is an appetizer? A summer roll. Ah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. With the white thing on the outside? Yeah. These things are chewy as shit. My body. I loved it. I loved, I loved every single ingredient. What are we doing with these? It's like alien eyeballs. What are we, what material is that stuff? Do you think I'm gonna be touching that? Open it up, put it in a tortilla, and give it back to me. What is the deal with that shit? I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't either. Chewy. Now. Yeah. Hey, you wanna know how to ruin a good cut of meat? Wrap it in slime. All right, we gotta wrap it up, though. Gang, I'm gonna tell you right now, we love you to death. Do us a favor, if you already haven't, get over there, check out that American Garbage on the YouTube page. And the tour. And the tour. We're on, we're on the road, coming up, uh, first dates. We got Appleton, Wisconsin. Let me just say, let me just pull it up right here, take a quick look, and properly do the freaky plugs. We got one show at San Jose. Then we got two in San Diego. Tickets are going quick for that. then we got Tacoma, Atlanta, and then wrapping it up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, wrapping the year up strong like we do every year. Get them freaking tickets. We'll be at Parks, Casino. Uh, and then there's more dates as well for 2027. Gang, we love you. See you next week. Peace. If you don't know by now, this is me and Tommy's vodka. It's called Poro Sos for the bears. And we want you to make friends. There's nothing better than a beer. and having a best friend that you can share secrets with, share a cocktail with, and you're going to love this vodka. It's got a smooth taste, a beautiful finish. And we taste tested a hundred different vodkas and landed on this one mutually. And we were not wrong. We have won two huge awards, the USA Spirits 2024 gold medal and the Tasting Alliance 2024 double gold medal. It is a fair price. It is an accessible price. We wanted to make that for our fans. We want you to enjoy it. Go get yourself a bottle and make it with soda. 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