Bebe Rexha

Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade Electrolytes, Zero Sugar, and Vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. For me, I always just really loved, loved making music. That part is the best part. Like, I really just loved it. Were you good at it? I wasn't always good at it. And I have my moments, but I just loved it. I loved the feeling of it. I loved how it made me feel. I love how it was therapeutic, sitting in my parents' basement with all their storage stuff. Got a job, bought my own computer, two KRK speakers, a cheap microphone, was making beats on GarageBand with my keyboard. I couldn't even buy a MIDI. And I always just loved the music part of it. You know, sometimes you make money. Make that money. Sometimes we make money. I mean, in the industry, it's like, what are you going to do? Sometimes you make money, sometimes you don't. Yeah, sometimes you make an impact. Ooh, that's more important. Sometimes you make both. Yes, that would be nice. Sometimes you have self-discovery, which is just as important. A lot of self-discovery. What's more important? What's more valuable? Self-discovery, I think. Nah, I think, I know. And you need money to live. Yep. And you need to do something that makes you feel like life is worth living, fulfilling. Yes. And you need to grow. That's what I always try to do in all the things. Duh. How old are you now? Oh, I'm very old. Take a guess. What's very old? I'm not taking a guess. 47. I was going to say 45. I'm much older than you. Not much. You're just a baby. No, I'm not a baby. You look very young. Good. I'm not saying my age. You don't have to. Yeah. Age is a number. Yes. Are we starting already? We're done. We're in. Oh, shoot. We jumped in. We jumped to the deep end. There's not even an intro? Nothing? No. Really? You don't care? No. Whoa. I just like to talk. I like that. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Because usually like, hey, what's up? It's Joel here with BB Rexha. Welcome to the show. Welcome to Art is Friendly. Welcome to the morning zoo. Here we are. Yeah. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I haven't seen you in a while. Very long time. We always just run into each other. You've always been very nice. Really? Yeah. Good. I try to be nice when I'm not in a bad mood. What puts you in a bad mood? Good. Good interview. I don't know. Life stuff. Yeah. Could be like relationship stuff. Maybe my mom. My mom says something to me that was annoying that day. You know, mom stuff or anxiety. Anxiety is a big one. That's kind of a background. It kind of hangs around in the background and you know, it's there and you wonder when it's going to come. Boo. Push ya. But for me now, what I've noticed is that I've learned to, like, I don't run away from it. You sit in it. It's like, oh, it's here, but it's like going to go away in a second. And then I try to remind myself. I remind myself that when I'm at a party, like I was at my daughter's party the other day and I, what I've just noticed is like, everybody's probably feeling the same way. Yes. I can guarantee that. Right. Guarantee it. Yeah. It was fun though. Guarantee it. If we're not feeling that way, we're not there. We're not alive. No, we're just not there. I'm just at home if I'm not feeling that way. Oh, dead. That's hilarious. Then I'm not feeling that way. You're right. I'm only feeling that way. I feel that way too at home sometimes. That's why I don't watch scary movies. I hate scary movies. Sometimes if I'm in the mood, like I want to be scared, but like, why should I watch a scary, why should I put myself in that situation? I'm the same. Right. Like I want to like feel good. My wife loves scary movies. I don't understand. I don't. My mom loves scary movies too. Psychopathic. Yeah. Like killing blood, all that stuff. I'm like, yo, pimple popping. Yeah. All of it. How did you learn to deal with that anxiety practice? I think it's not managing it. I think that it's about accepting it and not running away from it and knowing how to I guess it's like you're learning how to self-regulate. That's true. And like you could be at work or whatever, whatever you do. And it's like, if you need a moment, like I remember when I used to be, I was a perfume girl for a long time. I was selling perfumes. At the mall? Yeah. Like the store. And I would have moments even just selling perfumes because I had to make like sell 12 bottles a day, but they were so expensive. And like, how do I get people to buy these bottles of perfume? It's so like, and then I would go to the bathroom and just like sit on the toilet seat for like 10 minutes. 10 minutes and take a break. Cause then what are they going to say? What are they going to say? Like, what are you doing? I'm like in the bathroom. It's just to breathe, whatever, even go outside for like, you have to know how to like take care of yourself. And I feel like a lot of times I see with a lot of people, it's just, they want to go, go, go, go, go. And she's got to like learn how to breathe and self-regulate. When did you develop that? Like, when did you learn that? When did that become? Probably in the last couple of years. Yeah. Yeah. That's experience. Yeah. And doing the same thing over. It doesn't work. You throw that out and try some little new, very interesting how humans, we do that. Some of us. I think it comes with age as well. My mom told me that when I was younger, she's like, it's going to come with age. And I was like, like, she was right. Well, you're a very successful person. So successful people have a tendency to be high strung. Well, high, high strung is something I think more like highly focused. If we're not aware of that and we're not focused on what we're interested in, which is like this long. List of stats that you have of success. Yeah, it's a proof of, uh, it's proof of work, right? It's proof of, but when you're not doing that and you're focused on some little life thing, you could point that same intensity at something that doesn't deserve that intensity, right? Cause if we don't, if we don't write size things in our life and make them the right size, we will overreact to them. And then, so learning how with experience, which I find with successful people, they're. Yeah. You know, there's a through line with whether they are aware of it or not. Some people get there faster cause they, maybe they go to therapy or they do this or they do that and they exercise these different muscles and they become more mindful. Then you can organize a little bit more. You can measure a little bit more. Departmentalize. Exactly. But the thing is, I will say therapy is very helpful, but I feel, well, I, not that I feel, I know, um, I don't remember the exact stats, but like our health system is so based on like physical health and we're so behind on like mental health. And I think it's always been a taboo. And I just feel like recently in the last, what, 15, 20 years, it's kind of been more. Yeah. Um, cause I, I'm like a fact girl. Like I love like researching facts. You like truth. Yeah, I do. But I think that, um, we have a long way to go to catch up with mental health and the fact that it could be so expensive. It's hard for people just to get that help. And I feel like I wish everybody, it's really nice. To be able to talk to somebody. That's why, like I did this thing with better help back in the day and they were giving away free therapy sessions to my fans. That's great. I like doing stuff like that because I know how much that's helped me and just having somebody you could talk to and just learning the techniques. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade Electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. What propels you? Although I will say the techniques they give you are when you wake up, get sun in the morning, like these are like the silliest things, what they work, wake up, get sun in the morning. Like as soon as you wake up, go for a walk. I spoke to this life coach one time and I was like, okay, what's the plan? Like, how do I get to the next level? Like, how do I like up my life? And he was like, okay, the first thing we're going to have you do is walk. I said, are you kidding me? Am I paying you to tell me to walk, move your body and even just walking. You know, it does something to you where it like kind of all your, everything that's in your mind kind of like falls out and like you could process things, but moving your body is important. Being able to talk to somebody and then also not being scared if you get to a point where you really need help. Yeah, it's, um, I agree. You're saying things that have facts that back it up. So the sun in the morning, it does something to get us on our regulates your, um, what do you call it? Yeah. It regulates your circadian rhythm. That's right. And then. You know, waking your body up and moving your body is actually your systems. So it's your, if I have like really bad anxiety, sometimes I'm like, I can, I feel like running. If I go for like, um, if I go for like a run, it just like immediately even stretching something I think is really important to move our bodies. And I think in this day and age, like even when I'm at the studio or whatever, sitting in the car, stuck in traffic, I'm like, damn, I'm like, I didn't get any of my steps in today. It's like when I'll be like touring and stuff like that. I'll just like go walk. To get coffee. Yeah. Like make sure it's like kind of far. Yeah. Just to get my steps and get your steps in everybody. Very important. And find versions. 10,000 steps is BS though. Yeah. It's, I think it's like for somebody like me, I think like 7,000 steps is like doable. I think the 10,000 steps, I don't know where that came from. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off, but I don't believe in the 10,000 steps. Get seven. Let's start at five, six, seven. I think seven is great. The 10,000, I need the scientific research behind that because I don't think the 10,000 steps is. And I think you're right. I think it's an average. So it's like the 10,000 hour rule is actually not a 10,000 hour rule. It's an average. It's actually some people get there in 2,000 hours and some people get there in 20,000 hours. Interesting. And the average across everyone is about 10,000. Okay. So if they did the same with steps, it's probably something. So where should we say like. I think it's probably, you're probably correct. It's probably like 5,000 to 15,000, depending on the person. Yes. And their body. And their, and their needs. So I think that, it's a likely an average. I just feel like I, cause a lot of my friends are like, Got to hit the 10,000 steps. Yeah. I'm like, girl, like I, I was like on an hour and 30 minute walk and I still didn't hit the 7,000 steps. I'm like, what's like, and I'm short and I'm like, how many times do I have to do this? Like, you know, they're like a walk two times a day. I'm like, bitch, I don't got time to walk to like, to get like real like hikes in. Yeah. Like who's going to walk two times a day that long? Who can? Right. Yeah. Who's got the time? Yeah. Unless you have a heavy lifting job. Some people have very active jobs. So let's say 6,500. 6,500 is a good number. I think that's the new 65 to 7,000. I'm just saying for some people, cause it's like, imagine you don't walk and you get 1,200 steps a day. You're at a, you're at, you're in a job where you sit down mostly all day and then now you're going to jump to 10,000. It's like. Yeah. What I would say is. We talk about the most random stuff right now. We do. We do. We're talking about step steps right now. Oh yeah. But here's the thing. Steps could mean a lot of things. Yeah. And so with people listening, I'm always trying to. See what really successful people are doing to be the best they can be. And, and also if people see BB Rexha and they think, wouldn't it be nice if I could just close my eyes and wake up and be BB Rexha. They don't understand what went into the journey of becoming and being you. Yeah. And you're just like them. You just decided to start walking in a direction and you kept going and you, and you didn't stop. So whenever any obstacle came or whenever anything came, um, but you're still dealing with the same garden variety problems we all have. And so if, if someone listening is getting stopped by something. They're going to, you're going to, no matter what, just want to, sorry, you're going to get stopped. Something's going to happen. Something's going to happen and it's going to happen multiple times where you're going to get blocked, but go ahead. Well, that's the truth of life. And so what they need is models. To see, Oh, they did that. I could do that too. Yeah. And then they find their versions of, of what going forward means. Cause the only way to grow, to succeed, to, to have what I think is like joy in life is to go forward. You got to push. I feel like that. Isn't that the whole point of life? Yeah. We're all living. I try to remind myself like every day, like, you know, I read a quote, it was about like our moms and stuff. And it's like, we forget that our moms and our parents are just boys and girls living their lives for the first time. Yeah. They're doing life for the first time. And I think I try to be really compassionate with people, whether they're in their car, like cursing me out or whatever, or whatever happens. I'm just like, we're all just living our life for the first time. And everybody's going through so much that we don't know about, but I think keeping the momentum to go forward is really important. And then, but knowing that the momentum won't always be going, moving forward. Yeah. Most times. So it's like, you're going to have dips, you know, I've had those dips. Peaks and valleys. Definitely peaks and valleys. That's a career. Yeah. Sounds like a band name. Should we start it? Peaks and valleys. Yeah. You should. Let's leave the rest behind. So anyone listening when it comes to steps or, or sleep. Sleep. I don't know. I don't, that's the only thing I don't do well. I don't sleep. You gotta sleep. I know. I don't, I just like, I'm like grabbing my phone and like. The phone. The phone is a problem. I sleep, sleep next to my phone. What good does the phone bring us in life? I like, I mean, look, I think everything in life has the good and bad. Yeah. I personally like that. It connects me to people. I'm on FaceTime all day. Yeah. If somebody calls me regular, I'm like, I can't do this. I need to see your face. Do not call me. You want to look. Either text or FaceTime. Yeah. The call is painful for me. I don't know why. I have to like, but I like that it connects me to people. It connects me to my fans, but then also anything in life, too much of it. Right. Like being on social media all day. Moderation. Moderation. Yeah. In all things though. That's hard though. But we have to find it and it's tough sometimes, but, um, and we all have. Our spots, you know? So, um, but for the people listening, it's more like, okay, start with something you can do. Small, small, small steps and then build. And that's how you build. I don't know if I'm like only if it's like, I know I'm sure many people are like this. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I'm a very like black and white person and I'm trying to learn that there's a lots of shades of gray, right? But it's hard for me to live in the gray, but it's like, even when I'm like trying to go on a diet or trying to work out. Yeah. Or whatever, I'm like all in and then I mess up or like mess up, have a bad day. I'm like, ah, whatever. It's the holidays go all at that one day turns into like five months. Same, but that's very normal. It's very, is that you, is that like, does everybody do that? Some people don't, some people are just like so disciplined, but you have to zoom out a little bit and realize like there's five or six categories in life. Yeah. One is health and fitness. One is work. What do we do? Where do we put our energy? Uh, one is, uh, relationships. So romantic or, uh, friends, friends and family. Yeah. The other one is, uh, what I would consider like the spiritual side of life, transcendent side of life, whatever that is for you. And then there's our emotional life, which is kind of emotional health. One of those categories, every single one of us has a weaker muscles and then in likely in a couple of those, we do very well in a couple of those we do. Okay. And then if we're able to be, uh, unjudgmental of ourselves and analyze like where we're at, right. What's the truth, right? Not what I want it to be, but the thing we tend to do sometimes is I think my perspective, um, is we'll tell ourselves a story so that we can live with it. True. Instead of looking at. The, and taking stock and going like, no, this is just where I'm at. Cause our mind tells us lies, right? And it's all, everything is built on our, what we've been through in the past and it builds. So whatever you may go through, everybody has some form of trauma. It could have been something as small as your teacher taking away your toy in kindergarten. You can't judge people on what their trauma is. So now that's always subconsciously in your brain, then your brain, like you, you build like your, your thought patterns are built from a very young age. So then we start like. Building that inside of us. And, um, it creates this pattern that follows us for the rest of our life. And we get into cycles. And we tell ourselves these stories and they could be completely, completely false. And a lot of times it's really good. I use this, um, somebody said this to me in the studio, a writer said to me, sometimes instead of riding, being envisioning ourselves on the roller coaster, take a step back and like, make believe you're watching the roller coaster. Yeah, that's a good metaphor. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not going to do this. I'm like, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. And she really created this whole persona the tragedy yeah she really created the whole persona of no doubt she was a very smart woman yeah I'm telling you very smart yeah she played this certain role gorgeous smart but she knew how to play the part she created this she was incredible and so was Elvis I'm not criticizing Elvis and he seemed like a really sweet person and he was incredibly talented and he seemed like a good a good soul the size of the success very if somebody said to you you could have been Elvis but you're gonna be dead by I'm gonna choose to be alive it's not that I don't think people should be ambitious and should go for as big as they want yep but understand there's a fantasy a bit aspect of that that doesn't come with a cost with the sacrifice with a certain things that you may not want and certain people that can't even go out right and and is that a way to live not for me some people like it some people like it but I would but I personally like like being able to go to the mall or whatever some people notice me take a picture hey BB whatever but imagine you can't even go to the mall you can't even well it's the idea of like I I don't want to be a king I don't want to be a president I don't want to be anything like that I don't want to be the biggest of any thing I want to be happy absolutely I want to make things hopefully that I feel proud of yep and the result of those sometimes is is attention or some success in that way which I'm grateful for but also I've grown to a place where I enjoy peace yeah peace is important and I enjoy the best part of my life is the small part small things right small part you like coffee I love coffee like my favorite part of the day is waking up yeah cup of coffee the most important opinion in my life is my wife and kids I'd be devastated if I if I if I let them down they were ashamed of me yeah or you know um so now I'm older now though so when you're young you're ambitious yeah fuck this like I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that I mean that's a fun period though too cuz you're like you can take more risks now you have to be you know that if you take risks and you do something stupid you have a chance to get out of that you know that if you do something stupid you have a chance to get out of that you know that whole family and people that you can't let down and you have a different measurement of what success is so it's a young man's game in that sense of I remember that period where I thought I wanted to be the biggest thing in the world or I thought I wanted it all I thought but I didn't even know what that meant and then you get older and you realize like oh I kind of see what that means it's not that I don't think it must exist mm-hmm artists must create people must go for the gusto and they must get after it and like if you want to go right ahead go for it go for it but I agree like for me I always just really loved love making music that part is the best part like I really just loved it well you're good at it I wasn't always good at it and I have my moments but I just loved it I loved the feeling of it I loved how it made me feel I love how it was therapeutic sitting in my parents basement with all their storage stuff got a job bought my own computer to care case speakers a cheap microphone was making beats on GarageBand with my keyboard and couldn't even buy a MIDI and I always just loved the music part of it that was oh I never was like I think when I was younger is like I want to be a famous singer but then after when I like learned how to write and start producing I was like I just love this and I think all the other things kind of come with it and some people just have a different approach for me it's like I was never really into like how old were you when you started that in your parents basement oh wow like 14 I always wonder like who told that 14 year old girl she could do that nobody right nobody right yeah it was you literally nobody I mean I had like most like my parents at the time like my dad's an immigrant like they didn't want my dad it was more so like he was scared like he thought it was a waste of time and even came to a point like right before I had my first big hit as a songwriter he was like you gotta like make a decision like you can't be sitting in this basement all the time and like making music like you either got it like get a job I had a job but then I like whatever and then he's like he's to an end he's like you either got to go back to work or you got to go back to school right because I had done two years at college at Baruch College in New York City for music management and then I had gotten signed when I was 19 to my first deal and that fell apart and then I was like in my early 20s I had my job at the time everything but then I got into like when I got dropped I was like uh was tough but that's when I went back into writing I just like that it became like that pain like just made like made me want to like I don't know it was like therapy for me well at the time you'd given that deal a lot of credit you thought that was the I thought that was the make or break so when that when that fell through that first deal when it fell through it was really tough for me because what was I like 22 23 I don't even remember it was tough because I didn't understand the business aspect of it and I was still very green and I learned a lot course but you have a whole team of people at a label from product managers to the creative people to the A&R's to the exact all the executives you know calling you what's up talking to you this and that and then out of nowhere poof not one person checks up on you not one person answers your call because they no longer see you as a product they're not you're not part of the company anymore so then they're like goodbye so to me that happened and then didn't have management and then that I remember the day it was like terrible I think I was on 14th Street or whatever and I walked like from 14th Street all the way to the ferry it's over yeah I was like it's over it's over it's over and then I was dramatic I like stayed home for three months yeah well you'd never been through that before yeah I felt like it was over like I feel like oh I ruined my shot had it work out had someone if I was there yeah like hey kid it's tough bad day back tomorrow yeah there's other deals yeah white in your view of what this thing is is we think it like when we're like I feel like as humans we think everything is like do or die and it's one it's only one back to the black and white it can only be this one thing and it's never that and you know what it's like relationships record deals work likely if I asked you now had that deal worked out I would not be where I was at would there no way would that have been good luck no I like I wasn't like I wasn't at that time I was in such a dark place because I was being in it I was like in a holding period yeah which a lot of times labels will do especially to younger newer artists because essentially they're like tax write-offs yeah which is messed up but we're a commodity so if people don't know you know they'll sign younger artists and yeah they'll spend a couple hundred grand but then that's like a tax write-off for them you know they'll do that for the whole bunch of younger artists and what a lot of people don't know is how much success you've had as a songwriter because as an artist you have so much success 39 million Spotify monthly listeners I was I was shocked at that number yeah a lot of listeners yeah by a lot okay yeah you had four songs over 1 billion streams which one yeah okay you have okay this is a fact I don't if I gives me this stuff directly okay I talked to them oh really very close with Spotify I get they tell me stuff okay they're like major mover major mover big songs I mean and then the co-writing which is the part I love the craft so I appreciate people like you who have talent in the craft of writing songs and you've co-written big songs and you have Grammys I was nominated the monster won a Grammy yeah but you didn't get a Grammy for that because they didn't perform it no it was at the time I don't know what happened yeah I'm not sure at the time they weren't nominated yes your Grammy nominated but not did you ever win a Grammy you've won a Grammy smelled the Grammy I've been close enough right you you I've been close enough you got to go like this yes close oh I can almost taste it yeah I know I have no nominations no wins never even been to the Grammys are you serious 100% and I've done all the things they asked me to do when they say come play the Grammy thing it'll put you in the conversation but you're joking I'm not joking what I'm not bitter about it I wear it as a badge of honor that's crazy it's the truth you are Wow here's insane sorry I'm not like can't get over that no no it's it's okay like I feel like at that time did it bother you any other day now I know you're you want that recognition I'd be honest yeah I've never said this out loud okay I'm being very honest okay it's a trust exercise okay the Grammys used to be a sad they announced that they wanted to win a Grammy and they when they make the announcements, I mean, I can't. it every year but uh and then i stopped i stopped when i got older and i realized like i kind of made like this piece with it like oh i'm not a grammy artist what i'm not a grammy type artist and then i and then i got a lot of your fans would disagree i appreciate that yeah and i do not reject it at all i i appreciate that you would even think i had a grammy makes me feel warm and fuzzy okay good the fact that you say that like i can tell you're surprised yeah makes me feel like really good so thank you you want to hear yeah i'm still shocked but i was nominated one year for best new artist and then country song meant to be with florida georgia line it smells so good so we had the grammy i didn't want to do this because my team was like we feel like you're going to win for meant to be like we just have a really good feeling yeah you should i had set up a whole my mom too had set up a whole party at the house oh you guys i didn't want i didn't so sweet so didn't want best new artist and then i was like okay you know what and then it went to country song and then i was like i was sitting in my sea i was so nervous and then they go best country song dan and shay tequila and my heart just dropped into my stomach and i could i could you know respect that it was a great song it's not about the other artists it's the experience you had that's all but then going back home to all the balloons and the people that was really hard i'm not gonna lie i went like just straight to my bedroom took my i had this big red dress on took my dress off and just laid on the bed okay but here's the thing i was so sad i know i was like after that you're like you try it you know when you see like the artists on camera and they're like they're like deep down it hurts you know you're gonna be happy for them but deep down it hurts you know it still hurts when they do those camera shots i think i think it's so sad it's so evil when they do those camera shots of the people when they lose that is the ultimate like did they say my name that would be me i'd be like did they say my name i can't tell but no what i'm saying is this okay i'm i'm laughing but here's the thing that i never want you to give up yeah okay and me too yeah that i wanted to win oh yeah and that i was disappointed me same and i had to give up i had to act like it was cool that's cool okay i don't want to grab it anyways but i feel like anytime people say something like bigger artists don't want to get into it it's because i i don't personally like i believe in love and hate yeah but i don't really truly believe in hate i believe that hate is confused love if something moves you enough for you to feel a like an anger towards it there's something in there that is that doesn't feel right or is confused because if you really didn't care you if it's not right it's not right it's not right you're not right you're not right it didn't bother you you'd just be like ah you know you know what i mean yes so i believe like when artists say that i feel like it's kind of bullshit uh yeah but then i feel like that's their way of you know speaking out to kind of get over it because it does hurt they're dealing with it nobody ever yeah nobody ever i think intends to make bad art that's why i try not to judge people you think somebody goes oh today i'm gonna make this painting i want to make the worst painting ever i want to make a bad song i want to everybody's always just trying their best and doing what they can but when artists say they don't care i'm like look it's not everything i mean when you get older you're like okay it's not everything but you still would love the recognition you still would love i think it's more so the recognition of your peers you know and everything in the industry and everything in life is about perception and i've now i'm starting to see it more than ever i'm around people meet the biggest celebrities some of them are iconic and then some of them are like and here's the truth too it's not a game that you can win it's a human that is based on perception the members vote to get through the first round and then when the next round comes it's committees yes of who goes in about whatever and then the members vote again i don't care what anyone says yeah there's 50 people or 100 people in this category and then people are just scanning through looking for the maybe the one artist they want to vote for and then they're like oh oh oh oh it's not this system that it's an old system even though it's done online now whatever it's still what i would do if i were the grammys is i would impart a couple elements into the process i would have one part digital a feed of of actual success like online like your streams your views your and then that that should that should count like how you move culture a little bit too right that should count towards okay i understand that but then now here's this yeah you could also argue that all yes popular music whatever it may be streams hits and stuff like that but then you could also argue that there's also artists out there that maybe have music that is incredible that have not been given that opportunity because sometimes you'll see some people win and i'm like i don't know who this person is but then i'm like googling them i'm like oh wow this person's amazing that's the the human part okay okay so that that part x the human part x the human part that part should exist okay good but there should be some more modern if we if we account if in 2026 uh what constitutes a platinum records different than it was in 1980 true if what constitutes all these different categories that the metrics are different now there are things like the grammys that need to be modernized more the grammys have been super focused on diversification which is a good thing yes that's been the mo for the last uh like i would say 10 years right they've been trying to make it more more diverse more representative that's really good yeah i love that's different from the voting system okay so the grammys have made strides in lots of ways and then in other ways they're still in my opinion behind and and it's not it's not a system that's like perfect by the way i think they probably would agree with me so i'm not afraid to say this out loud and i also am not at risk i've never won a grammy and i don't ever plan on it i'm not saying anything because i'm not scared i'm still in the running i don't know you still have a song together yes well i'll probably win then i feel like yeah i feel like come on bro but i'm saying like what are you kidding me i think still not over that bro i think you have a lot of grammy maybe i should do just like i was saying i want to do a classical album all of it because i studied class i studied opera for a while wow and that's what i wanted to do but then i don't know i ended up in pop music maybe i should do popular music popular music yeah well you're popular popular it's a good thing classical's cool i love randomly like i don't remember where we were recently i have a bad memory somewhere in europe and i booked an opera and i went to go see an opera i'll do it sometimes alone that's good i love it i love it it's so inspiring like the costumes the way the versions they do of each like i saw um the three part act of puccini and like i love gianni c i'm gonna say it wrong but there's a song that i love that's sweet why is that sweet that's just like something i like it's beautiful yeah it's nice to enjoy beauty yeah and like beautiful things that aren't necessarily the payoff is how it makes you feel when you watch it and it's beautiful it's i like it you don't like opera i could tell by the way you're saying no i'm not particularly no no no i like opera i like your opera but have you ever heard an opera singer live like like been in like the yes it doesn't speak to you yeah it doesn't move me what like what moves you um music wise like what can you listen to and you're like i have goosebumps and like a musical wow yeah really yeah like what kind of musical any great musical lame as or even modern ones like what is the uh the difference to you of a music i mean i know there's differences but what is it that moves you that classic like opera can't move you i think opera is so i love classical music yes so i listen to classical music a lot in the morning a lot of times we have like chopin or um different kinds of classical music playing in fact in my spotify wrapped every year my top three is classical music interesting so i do listen to a lot of classical music the style of singing i don't love it interesting i think it's beautiful like the heavy like the heavy like the whole like that and that and i see i could see that i do think like the voice is an instrument but also it depends on the type of i now like i'm trying to get you to like come on to the opera side trying to like i also think it depends on the type of voice because a lot of them could be a lot like like heavier and i think in the years it's changed where it's more about clarity and like i don't know i personally also like an opera singer that's more in the mula like she did a song that ended up being in the fifth element where they like when remember when it was like they took her voice and like you probably don't know what i'm talking about no i like to hear you sing though that's nice that's not singing but but it is i heard a little bit no not really but you know what you're you're talking about yeah it's interesting see that was cool to me yeah i want to play it for you but i like a musical is i is a bit like opera because you like musicals because they're you can understand them better they captivate my imagination yeah they capture me yeah i used to do musicals in high school they would put two or three a year two on a year you were like a theater nerd yeah i was that's sweet little shop of horrors jesus christ superstar fiddler on the roof and you just loved it i loved it i love actually love musicals they actually asked me to do something on broadway but i just was too busy do you think that that what i hear and see when you tell me about your younger life in your parents basement or at school doing um musicals and then trying really hard and getting your first deal and then it falls through and then becoming a huge success but do you think that the little girl because it sounds like you were very sweet and like you just wanted to make stuff and like and imagine things and make things and feel like that part of you of course felt alive and you were like the fairy tale part right like the more the unjaded part right this like the fairy tale part right like the more the unjaded part right like the more the unjaded part right like the like you know like when you're younger i feel like all kids and babies are like angels yeah yeah we just want to play yeah and we see the world in a really nice way but do you think that you had somewhere in the experience of of growing up and then coming into a really hard industry that like no one gave you no one prepped you for it no one sat you down said okay so here's the deal yeah you're gonna your first deal is gonna fall through then you're gonna keep going and then this will likely happen and then that'll happen probably down there and then you know it's gonna fall through and then you're gonna keep going and then this will likely happen and then so just get ready and well who was gonna tell me that right my dad who came from albania right so me too right me too like my dad was making pizza like you know what i mean for 275 an hour yeah like the whole uh the whole mission statement of my company that is a great company mddn can i be the guy i wish i'd met period oh done period that's it can i just can we just be the guys you met somebody that helped kind of guided you through that i wish i'd met oh can i be the guy that i wish i'd met and who is that guy well he's a guy who would encourage me he would explain things to me and so that i could learn them and keep them instead of me need him so that he could take advantage of my need of him and that's the way this business works and so what i'm saying is i'm just it's it's not like this business is full of awful people there are bad actors and every single business whether it's medicine or if it's churches or if it's the music industry or if it's anywhere that you could say sounds like a good place oh doctors save lives and there's some bad ones you know what you know what what i want to say maybe there's a doctor there's doctors out there that just passed their exam right and they became a doctor just passed their exam they're not very competent well maybe they end up being you don't know right because i think a good doctor not to get into something different now is but like i understand what you're saying is like there's bad people but yeah there is good people too oh a lot and it takes a village it does take a village right so so that's my point is i'm not saying the music industry is any different from any other industry but yeah you could be working but we are sold like it's this fantasy and all your dreams come true and the industry you mean or just life or just the idea of success in this thing we do yeah like i'm gonna grow up and be a rock star right what does that mean we're told it's this amazing thing it is it's got aspects of it that are incredible and then there's aspects of it that no one tells you about and and there's right yes and so you've lived it that's the the good times are great and then the bad times are really bad and there's plenty of stuff right in between up and down it's all the above it's really how you finish your thought though the young woman who had dreams who sets out and who's got talent and she's like and and oh my god i had first deal i had such a drive i had i was joel i had such a drive and you still do yes but i was so i was more like i felt more like not jaded like i really loved it and i felt like i was too naive a little bit so insecure a little like i was very uh i knew that i didn't look like how what i the artists that i grew up on i know i didn't look that way i was always like never had like the six with the abs and i was always trying to find myself you never had abs yeah i when i was like super super fit at one point the only thing i ever got was like the side like the thing i could never get that's too hard what i'm saying though sorry let's go back to the thing sorry sorry let me focus my question okay is do you feel like at some point you had whether you were conscious of it or not had to push her back and protect her and become someone that could do that to somebody else or or just not someone not like you had to be a different person yeah but you had like you said to become jaded yeah to protect what it is to experience this industry as a sweet naive excited dreamer yeah who believes in the good we've all done it but to recognize that i had to do that to survive is important i think that's just life in general though yes sorry i don't mean to make everything about life but i think that's life in general it's really corny but if i were to say something to you if you were to think of yourself as your youngest age where what age would you think of yourself like it could be not youngest it could be like when i say joel look back on your like when you were younger what what age comes to mind right away 15 so that's probably where i got stuck not where you got stuck but you probably faced some trauma something happened in your life that really affected you big time and not me trying to be a therapist right now but you are there are pies the one thing i've learned is it's silly it's silly silly silly but if you could go back and imagine that 15 year old boy is like in like i say like in the chambers of your heart right now yeah yeah yeah and he's like inside of you like what would you say to him like if you could say like i'm here to protect you like i'm here now i got you like i won't let anything bad happen to you anymore and i think those younger kids live in inside of us and we need to remind ourselves because we're still like i feel like we live with everybody lives with some type of hurt and some type of trauma and we have to go back and say and you have to go back to the 15 year old joel and be like hey i know this happened to you but now i'm older i'm more grown and then and i got you and i got you why don't you go like something you would have loved when you're 15 like why don't you go to the arcade real quick here's some cash you know if you make up this story like here's some cash and just go play at the arcade and whenever you're ready come back i'll be here and i think that's the thing that i've learned is that it's like those little things that sound really silly that like help us feel like we find that and like protect ourselves and like heal ourselves through those ways you're really good i know i really want to study psychology at some point you've already studied it you just you just described inner child work yes but which is really important and i really recommend it but you're really good you came on my show and you're gonna make me cry i'm sorry i saw i saw it so i i don't want to because i'm not a therapist like that but i could also like you are i could also um i've been through a lot and uh personally and have really worked try to work on myself i can tell yeah try to work on myself and you know i'm not everybody i'm not a doctor so you know i say it all the time on this show yeah i'm not a doctor but but it is a hobby but if you were to but it's a really interesting question that i've been asked before and that i've if you you know if you were to think of an age anybody in this room right now are watching the age comes to you immediately at 15 and then you got to go back and say why this age what happened to me why did i feel scared at this at this age what changed what thing was triggering to me and then we have to go back and really like heal ourselves from that age because there's something that lives with us forever yeah and what i wanted to get to is a lot of times we do get jaded we're living this life things happen you're in in the music industry you're in a relationship you're wherever you are and people will leave you high and dry yeah it's real life will hurt you you will get jaded and that's what's making you stronger though but then you have to get to a point where you need to show up for that little boy or little girl inside of you that's still inside you that feels hurt because that's also the kid who had the dream had the dream and got you here if that kid had never started making beats in the her parents basement and dreaming of what she would become and what was possible you wouldn't be here but somehow along the way we discount that kid oh we lose it i lost him for a second after all the hurt we all do after all the hurt and like all the music business drama and you know it's really tough sometimes you know it's been uh i'm really grateful for what i do because you have to say that because then people are like ah i am i'm blessed but it is really hard sometimes especially when i'm around other peers or it could be in that situation or um just at certain award shows and it does feel like high school you know and i've never felt like i was part of the cool kids you know maybe you did because you were kind of like in a band i never i didn't really no so i never i never felt like i was i was part of the cool kids i remember being at my first like the i heart radio awards and sitting around all these like celebrities and stuff like that and i just felt like i didn't belong i had such bad imposter syndrome so cool see but i don't like i know you maybe don't think you are but i'm as an outsider yeah i just go look at this cool girl here yeah yeah look at her coming in here all cool - All cool. - Like you come across very strong and confident. yeah now but i feel like you know you want to be you know this industry is brutal you know but you have to come you have to come to a certain place where you stop looking for the permission or acceptance of others or this perceived idea that like if i'm not careful i start comparing myself to like i'm so fucking over that you know honestly but how am i supposed to look at 47 how am i supposed to be how am i supposed to and and i think don't see you're putting you're putting sorry look i feel like this is turning into a therapy session i would be like a bitchy therapist though like i would help you i would help you but then i'd be like okay joel let's snap out of this shit i don't care that you're 47 years old yeah you got your life ahead of you i don't know maybe you're gonna make one of your best albums maybe you don't fucking know so let's not let's stop doing this we're not doing this self-sabotage shit that's what we have you know but that's the thing is like you gotta like you know like you said it am i being too you said it am i being too new york and too like harsh no i love it you're like uh you're like the the sister everyone needs to tell them like what the fuck are you talking about yeah get out there do you know what i mean well because because look i'm gonna keep saying this now i see in life everything is about perception some people just play the game better i met somebody one of the biggest producers and they said i've met the biggest stars in the world and i will tell you they're just the best actors and actresses right and they really have a different type of confidence and they really don't ask for permission they just do and they definitely feel insecure but they just can play the part so good fake it till you fucking make it and for me i was always this girl who um was always like is this good can this be this what should the single be even though i knew in my heart what should the single be what should it look like i just want to make everybody happy at the label i just want to make i just you know is everybody happy is everybody happy and then instead of following your gut then you get caught up in this thing and now i've come to a place where i'm like you know what like if i end up in a room and people are like oh my god i'm gonna be like people don't want to like give me recognition or whatever my flowers i'm like cool bro like that's fine like i'm gonna like go home to my dog and like watch my favorite show i'm good like i'm tired of asking for permission like i don't like who the fuck are you you go home you shit the same way i do yeah you know what i mean like look at my pr looking at me like oh gosh that's the truth no but i'm just saying like we all end up in the same spot we all end up in the same spot you know what i mean well six feet under six or seven this is true six six feet under you know you know what i mean unapologetic let's get to dirty blonde now yeah so so okay so i will say before we talk about dirty blonde i think you would love my song the way i want you it's really good it goes into like big guitar moments and it's like but the way it starts is sick it's so good it's not one that's been released yet no like all those ones that have been released are more like dance and like right but like my favorites are like the more like time which talks about like you know time like feeling like i wasted a lot of my good years on the wrong or like in the wrong situations that's related at the wrong labels or and wanting to it's actually um the lyric is time feels like i wasted all my innocence wasted all my best years on you real i'm trying to find the girl that i once knew you know so many good times but i never had a good time you know and those songs are really important to me on the project do you love this record i do yeah i i wanted to like i i feel like i can always do better this is a problem with me there are some records on there that i'm like absolutely like so proud of like the way i want you i'm so proud of that song i just like love like how it starts because the thing is like with me i'm just like i don't like being stuck in a box and i grew up on so many sounds like so many different like i feel like especially you when you came up with your band like you had a sound you had a you did and it was it was iconic you know and for me it's like i'm always like kind of songwriter first and i just hate being stuck in a box and with like my song the way i want you it's like the perfect mix of like live instrumentation a little bit of rhythm rhythmic we have those live like big heavy guitars but then it goes into like a dance moment it's just like that's like how i would say who i am a little bit of all that i'd agree with that yeah i don't put you in a box thank you you have a ton of experience you you've been like in like you've always been experimenting in with like all the time from the you know i'll read comments online and people will be like bb like come on just fucking stick to a brand whatever and i'm like no bitch yeah this is like i this is like i not to be like you know like like not to be like what's the word egotist i don't know i don't know what the proper word is you can't find the word it ain't true okay well there you go but for me it's like i've been in the room i've written with dolly parton and i've written with quarter george line and then david getta and then songs for eminem nikki minaj rihanna like i it's like you've been here so i've been here but it's like the thing with me is it comes down what i feel like people are not understanding is like it comes down to the fucking songwriting yeah because they see me and they'll probably in the past everything was so glossed over because i was at major labels and they want everything at the time to look a certain way so they'll gloss you over and then they don't get to see who the real you is which the real me is just a girl from new york city albanian like energetic maybe a little too real at times and like also just somebody that's just you know always just trying to like speak their truth but it comes down to the songwriting and for me i don't want to be fucking stuck like i said if i want to do a fucking classical album next i'm gonna do that shit should i think you grew up in front of everyone because you were young when you started i think that you if there's any question you know for me i have zero questions you're talented hard working you've been here you've been in the industry you've been in the industry you've been you've done all everything you just said you don't have to say right it's sometimes people make you feel like you might have to say i've done all this because in the world that we live in the bad are so good at making the good think they're bad you don't need to explain just because your resume isn't in front of you the way some people's are in other places like the thing about being a creative is we don't walk in the room with this stack of papers of everything we've ever done right but you did it and i know that and everyone that knows knows what they know right like and people that are for real can see it but what i see is you're very sweet so that's a good thing but you're talented you work hard and you've got you got stuff what what's yeah that's it it's that new york that's three go ahead like claws it's like i'm from new york don't fucking tell me right which is a good thing not not to go off the thing but i remember when i first started in the music business like i was working with some like big producers and stuff and i was always just i didn't know the la vibe yeah so i'd walk in the room and then they would like sit down with me after and be like how was the session i'm like terrible and then i'm i remember leaving and then i told a really big producer that because i was working with one of his producers and i was like it was terrible and then his manager pulled me aside after and was like you don't tell blah blah blah you better watch it kid no you don't tell him that it was bad you say it was good and then you come to me and say it was bad i'm like but why exactly i'm like i don't so i was never like that hey everybody i'm so happy to be here it's a good you know i was like yo i was like let's get this let's uh i got this idea i want the beat to sound like this i want the and then i was always like the girl in the room that was like knew what she wanted and everybody's like that's a part of your uh a success it's you the more you you can be the more you you are and then you are you excited for dirty blondes like are you like i can't wait for this album to come out there's so much i want to do that a good i can't sleep you gotta get some sleep the six hours minimum i do like four or five you gotta do more than that i know i know sleep seven's a sweet spot i mean i wish i could sleep nine hours uh you should try relaxing magnesium before bed okay it really tried it before i think it works for me really yeah but i put my phone away i don't put my phone away that's the thing you can't fall asleep with the phone i know but anyway let's go back so we can end this in a positive note yes this is going to be a really big episode it's going to do really well i hope so um and everybody loves you and not everybody oh yeah not everybody but they should no i'm just kidding um not everybody but that's all right that's all right i'm gonna make you love me baby i think you are so talented and you've worked really hard and i know you know that already because you did it but it's good to hear it because you're in the middle of a career that has so much optionality and potential beyond potential because you're no longer a person who just has potential of course you have potential you've proven the potential was there and it's solid it's in the it's in the billions of streams it's in the it's in the the fact that your your name for me i want to jump in on that yeah if you don't mind i don't mind for me i think during covid like the whole i feel like we lost like so many years of our lives yeah we did and we don't remember that it's seven years ago and where i was at in my career and the things that led up to you know when i was in that in that nominated for those grammys at that year when it was meant to be a brand new artist a best new artist there was such an amazing feeling and an energy happening and then a lot of unfortunate events happened like in a row boom boom boom boom boom that fans could feel it online and they don't know all of the background behind it but it did eat away at me as a person. And it became very hard for a very long time because I felt like I was, and this is beyond label. I mean, I just, it's all, and I felt like I was really stuck. Your experience, yeah. And I was in a really low place. And the one thing that killed me for such a long time was when I put on my EPs and my first album, there was such an energy. It was the culture, it was the people, it was the fans. And that to me is the most important part. And then somewhere along the line, I felt like I was diluted. I was diluted because I maybe wasn't around the right people. Maybe they didn't, they were trying to chase what a hit would be, what a pop star looked like, rather than like, who is Bebe Rexha? And like, what does she stand for? What's her story? Where is she from? And that's the most important thing. And I think now I feel like I've been able to come back with an incredible team of people that are like uplifting me to a point where it doesn't feel like I'm in a cage or I'm like reaching and desperate for like that. To me, it's like being able to build the fan base and the people back to where the energy is just, to me, the culture and the people is like the most important thing. Beyond the billion of streams, the billion streams, even though you said that like great billions of streams. To me, it's like, I'm sure you can go on the road and still sell out because you have those hardcore fans. - We're very fortunate, but what I would offer is, the experience you had, if you didn't have it, where you got to where you are now, I can see it and feel it, is that as you know who you are. And I think that had you not gone through that, you might still be asking that question. - Absolutely. - And so sometimes it's painful to go through those moments, but what you experienced is important. And it is kind of like your story, your growth, your arc, all that. There's nothing better than to arrive on solid ground where I know who I am. I know how I feel. I know when I have a feeling like, that's it. I don't have to question it anymore because I had to go through all the questioning and all the people and all the bad people and all the relationships and all that. They are just a vehicle. They are just a lesson. They are just our teachers. They are not, it's not personal. Feels personal at the time. And then I look back and I go, thank you for teaching me. - Yes. - And so where I think you are now, the new album and just sitting with you. - Yes. - I say what you've accomplished. One, to give you your, to give you credit, right? Because you deserve it because you worked hard to have it. And that girl didn't have to leave her parents' basement and put herself out there. And this world is fucking hard and it is hard for us to step out in front of everyone and go, hey, look at me, here's my song. And then we have to stand by while everyone says the good, the bad and everything in between, right? And what I have to remind myself is I kind of take it all with a grain of salt, because now I know who I am and I'm on solid ground. And I know what I think, how I feel. - You just know yourself. - And you know yourself, but you have to go through all that to get here. - To really be like strong in your, and some people, it takes them a different time, you know, to get to that. - Everyone's journey is a different timeline, right? But you're on yours and yours is yours. That's it. No one else gets to have it. No one else gets to own it. It's just you. And what I say to give you your credit of all the things you've accomplished, and when I say your career ahead of you, - Yes. - I would not say it's potential. I would say it's a matter of what you decide to do. You're proven. It's not a question now. - I mean, as long as I'm alive, I ain't going nowhere. - As long as you're alive. - Let me tell you that. - So just stay alive. - God forbid I. - 10,000 steps. - Something might happen, I don't know, but if I'm still alive, honey. - 6,500 steps. - Yeah, 6,500 steps, small steps, believe in yourself. - But I'm just saying, congratulations. - Thank you. - On all the success and thanks for coming and good luck with the record. I'm really rooting for you. - Thank you. Thanks, Joel. I appreciate you. - Good to see you. - Good to see you. - Yeah. - Thank you for listening to this episode of Artist Friendly. You can also watch the episodes on Spotify. Spotify premium users get no commercial breaks on my show. Make sure to follow, like, and comment because I always read the comments.