Beastly

it's the lonely island and set my ears podcast so exciting yorm gave us a warning that he was going to be 15 minutes late and instead he was right on time and he hurried and we're going to give him all the time he needs to just settle in as usual the f train was on time and it's great easy nothing to say about it yorm you know what else is right on time that body oh yeah do you want should i should i i'll wait i'll wait to take off the top lift up that shirt because there was we got a lot of mammal we got a lot of grief and i think you know most of the feedback we receive couldn't be more fair right uh and i think the last episode somebody wrote in um here it comes 32 minutes correcting previous errors one minute talking about the short 11 minutes talking about pictures we can't see by the way while i'm doing that andy's literally just waving his iphone in front of the camera another thing people can't see why don't you just you know what jack black he obviously wants to get it out right out of the gig whoa yeah i mean you're waving a phone in my face dude uh well clean let's just say five minutes before this started i rocked it let's go quibby clean wow 62 words 363 points three pangrams and it felt so good on a pod day to just rock it and rip it and know that seth probably has like three words i've got 14 to go and i also wanted to use the last time before the pod doing my word games but of course i can't because i have to get ready for the pod yeah but i don't andy how many words are there today how many words are there total would i say 62 maybe yeah it was a big one all right then 62 to go for me nice easy so you arm you do one a minute and uh probably by the end of the pod you got it wrapped up do you guys ever feel like you're going to be able to do it in one minute and you're going to do you guys ever feel like having glasses is like shouldn't be like a right it should be earned and that maybe i'm going to get my glasses taken away like somebody's gonna come in and be like no not worth it like people with glasses need to be smart well i feel like glasses implies my eyes like i read so much that you know so i feel like i'm gonna get revoked pretty soon i think once you're past a certain age everyone has glasses have i hit that yeah definitely yeah it's either readers or the other ones i gotta figure out how to store glasses i gotta figure out how to store glasses i put them down i put them face down the lenses i get these like cheap reading glasses they're so scratched up so fast i just gotta get better at it maria gets hundreds of them and then she gets mad that i take them but i'm like there's literally like dozens and dozens of glasses around the house glassesusa.com guys uh check it out and uh they're a great service and uh what else what else we got check out cvs readers you can get them right at the checkout aisle so you won't do our live ads but you're happy to do ads for people who don't give my absolutely i just think people look cute in readers seth what do you want me to say then yeah readers readers be good um there's a uh asap rocky song called sundress and that makes you horny people is it about readers no it's about if you listen to it you know obviously we can't play it here because we'll immediately get this thing rip it off every platform right um the question was are they sampling uh the song yorm song from everyone's a critic oh now they're not but it is it is fun to listen to it because it's close enough where you're like oh that's a that's a fun poll have you ever had this depressing moment uh where you go to look up a song because that's immediately what i did i went to went to old spotify to look it up and uh the last thing i had looked up on spotify was a request from one of my children and you just realize like how far you've fallen uh because the last thing was pirates of the caribbean minions version you know what it's good that they have interests yeah they do they do have interests uh speaking of interest stuff i finished widow's bay okay yeah yeah were you scared i was spooked out the whole time the show is entirely too spooky but it did get funnier as it were on and it was fantastic i'm not i'm fully bandwagon widow's bay is great the office clan is amazing it's been a real fun journey for me to realize how you guys are um so easily spooked as a tree yeah oh i go i get spooked out like immediately anything intentionally spooky makes me feel spooky if you guys had come uh to prominence in like the 40s and 50s the lonely island that is like i think you would have been an avid costello situation where a lot of your instead of digital shorts it would have been like the lonely island versus the mummy or like the lonely island god damn it don't say that yorm's eyes lit up so wide that's right did someone say avid and costello oh i mean it's definitely it is fun to think of like uh the creature from the black lagoon like tapping yorm on the shoulder who then taps keeve who then taps andy and like just i mean yorm is three snorks in a trench coat he has three snorks in a trench coat there's a couple snorks i did uh posh my brother and i did a couple live tapings of family trips this week we did one philly we were one in boston and uh each one had a q a and there was a healthy amount of uh great armies before who were your special guests so we it was it's hard it turns out and i think everybody who does live podcasts will tell you it's kind of hard when you're on the road to book special guests yeah go where they are in philly we had uh the local nbc traffic reporter is a woman named sheila waco who used to work at late night as a photo researcher and she's a dynamite and she was great genuinely great uh but then in boston uh we had uh tiffany haddish who can i just say about tiffany haddish and you worked with her yorm oh yeah yeah last rg right last rg yeah totally i believe her to be a really special person i really i like i like hanging out with her oh my gosh she's so funny we were we were pitching something and every time we were on zoom she would just get these crazy like zoom faces where it would be like she's a unicorn now but she wouldn't stop like the entire zoom we sold it you sold it um somebody wrote declan walked so aunt gladys could run uh aunt gladys from weapons i think they thought that maybe declan was a precursor uh you'll be shocked to know not that i haven't seen weapons too spooky oh god yeah i mean if widows bay did a number on you yeah i don't be throwing on spooky stuff i would say uh run don't walk away from weapons i already have anxiety about season two of widows bay and they're like just starting to write it apparently so yeah i'm going to watch it because i liked it but i'm also like god damn it i'm gonna be like spooked out for all those weeks because you know right now they're not trying to think of a way to be less spooky no if anything they're gonna lean in more to the spookiness yeah because yeah they're not listening to this pod being like bad news guys it's too spooky uh seth i also watched rory scobell's new stand-up special and loved it great i've only seen a few uh jokes on social media that i loved i love him very much his vibe is so wonderful he's such an nut the joke i saw that really made me laugh is uh how much trouble he'd be if his wife died and saying to his kid uh all right look we're both sad but seriously where do you go to school how do we get there help me out oh andy yes you of course decided to start asking us if we made you horny oh yeah yeah what was that yeah so weird hey did i make you horny when i was about to take off my shirt well you almost made me horny but then you pulled up well here's the thing on the feed i'll do a picture of me shirtless okay yeah radical we'll see how many people and then we can do it and that's something people will be able to see yeah and then we'll see who i make horny okay people enjoyed that when you asked keeve and it's worth going back to listening he just very quietly says uh i guess sometimes which is maybe the perfect answer i mean if you spend enough time nobody nobody asking do i make you horny wants to hear i guess sometimes that would spin you out way more than no i hope someone says that to austin powers if they make a new one i mean i guess sometimes and then just walk past them uh there are some good reactions in this last one the other one that made me laugh was uh yorm said you guys were out in silicon valley uh sucking digital dick oh yeah i did say that yeah that's that's you have a really nice you have a really nice andy just oh like you're kind of taken aback yeah i mean that's your life that's your life just roll i was channeling bill hicks you guys oh yeah as always yeah yeah i was given shade to the tv show the offer being a 12-hour movie which is longer than the movie itself and then somebody pointed out that i said that on a 47-minute podcast about a one-minute digital short goddamn right yeah again no none of the comments about us are wrong it's a kind of it's the kind of feedback we look forward to hearing because like like we don't want to you know what i've said since the jump on this pod why make something new when you can talk about what you've already made yeah wait guys reminiscing munching them member berries oh member berries uh i got some more um robert pattinson is the dave enrico of the odyssey i haven't seen the audience he likes to party i haven't seen it yeah okay that comment means nothing to me wait hold on sorry they talk about partying in the odyssey like is there a lot of talk about partying the window of how long is it okay to not have seen the odyssey is closing pretty fast guys if you want to talk about a movie that is still in a theater you you're barking up the wrong tree yeah i guess that's true you know what i've seen in a theater toy story five oh yeah so if you're checking your last thing on spotify I think is indicative of the fact that you could also just assume you haven't seen the Odyssey, you know? Yeah, I guess that's true. What did you think of Toy Story 5? Did you cry? Did you cry? Oh my God, yeah. Three times, right? It was so good. They know what they're doing. Did your kids like it? I only went with one of them and yes. Gotcha. But you know what? A little spooky. No, I'm just kidding. There was an article about Jack Johnson in the New York Times. Okay. How's he doing? The headline, stressed, overwhelmed. Have you tried being Jack Johnson instead? His Frozen in Time anthems, Odes to Go and Meet the Flow, are the soundtrack to A Summer of Hopecore. Oh, Hopecore. Now my question is. Hopecore, that's new. I'll take it. Here's my question. Is JJ Casuals mentioned in the New York Times? No. Yes, it is. Oh my God, we're back. We are back. Tell me how it's mentioned. He developed a close relationship with filmmaker Emmett Molloy, collaborating on a pair of surf docs when Molloy became, an in-demand music video director. He brought along Johnson as secretary of camera. This is how they meet. Anyway, later in the article, Molloy, when describing Johnson, brought up Andy Samberg's send-up FM on SNL and one sketched Samberg as Johnson host of the Mellow show, throws out non-secretaries, cargo shorts, ultimate frisbee, vegan cookies. In another, Samberg doesn't add for JJ Casuals, shoes that look like bare feet. I mean. What a dream to just be in the conversation still. What a dream. I mean. But to clarify, B-A-R-E, not bear, like B-E-A-R, like the bear that attacked Biden. Right, not like bear slippers. I think Quaid Army knows what the shoes look like. Yeah. Okay. Clarification. Unshoed. Okay. A guy named Kevin claims that he pitched clean jeans in the comments for getting a clean genius, so. Yeah. And now he's claiming he's the Rosalind Franklin to our Watson and Crick because we stole his Nobel Prize. Well, it was worth it just to get that coming back at us. Yeah. Clean jean, not to be overly, harsh Seth, like is a fucking joke and you should be embarrassed. No, it's not. To the point where my friends, I have two friends from summer camp and we text, we text about spelling bee as well. And they were, they were both like immediately like, what do you feel about this Seth clean jean thing? Cause they thought it was like a fucking joke. Yeah. I don't. And by the way, I know you were worried about being too harsh. I don't feel like that was too harsh at all. Okay. Wonderful. Lin-Manuel Miranda. Yeah. Right. He commented, he commented on, on our Instagram comments about his experience of, of seeing a movie in the dragon. I knew this was going to come up. But then someone said, somebody commented in our Instagram comment section to Lin and said, a quick question about the Warriors movie you're doing. Do I make you horny, baby? Answer it. Answer it, Lin. Oh, now I like where this is headed. I mean, Lin enjoyed the comment very much. And then I think the dude who wrote it is pretty psyched. By the way, I think we talk about Lin enough on this that we can just, just say Lin now moving forward. Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah. I sent a photo to you guys. I went to the county fair where we are these days and there was a ride called the dragon wagon. Yeah. And I was like, they spelled it wrong. Yeah. Oh yeah. There was one with me too. When I went to the fair with the toilet. It should just be the dragon. Obviously. Yeah. I mean, have they not learned anything? What are we doing here? Hey, this is the Miley Cyrus episode. Miley, very good times. And I want to kind of fall back on, what we maybe used to do a little bit more and watch some sketches before we get to a very short, short. Yeah. Who wears short shorts? Me after Keevan Yorm left. Because it was going to make us too horny? You finally were allowed to get, because they got too horny. And so you waited until they left to start wearing short shorts. Yeah, you didn't, a new crop of guys. It was an unofficial collab with Nair. Oh, nice poll. I really was like, what? Who was who wears short shorts? Nair wears short shorts. This has been pointed out. Oh, it was a Nair commercial. Okay, right. Gotcha. Andy. Yorm, be real. You ever put Nair on your butt? No comment. Oh, that's a yes. Seth, that's a yes. That's a yes. Seth, now imagine Yorm, now imagine Yorm, butt naked, but in full sneakers in the bathroom, smearing Nair all over his hairy butt, and then letting the butt hair dissolve, and then looking at it in the mirror. And does that make you horny? Yeah. FYI, I was picturing sneaks on, no pants, buck naked, but then also maybe holding onto a bar. I don't know where the bar is, but dipping his butt into a bucket of Nair. Definitely. That's just how I was picturing it. Yeah. Unkempt bush up to his belly button. Oh, Seth, you know I ain't that flush. I don't get a bucket of money for my Nair. And nipple clamps connected with chains, hanging from the ceiling in some sort of sex chair. You guys, can we move on? Mari walks in, does not break stride because she's seen it all before. She's so bored. Just a regular Tuesday. It's a Tuesday. All right. Oh, this is something somebody said about, you know, obviously we know Amy Poehler trying to tank our pod, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's after us big time. Bad hang. And every time she shows up here, bad hang. Yeah. Rival pod. But now somebody said, how does Andy feel about the fact that she also has a show about archeology with dig in the title? Oh, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. Almost as crazy as the fact that Digman wasn't accepted in today's spelling bee. What? Yeah. Like, are you winter soldiering us or not? It's crazy. Take a land. No, I look, I think I spent the better part of my career ripping off Amy and trying to do things she had done. Yeah. And now she's clearly returning the favor and trying to bury me pun intended. So it's her time. Yeah. It's her time. It's her time. Well, I said it's her time because it's an incredible transition. And again, I host a late night talk show. I'm obviously, I'm obviously king of transitions. This is a, a sketch. I remember fondly. I want to watch it with you, Andy. It's called our time. Now I see what you were doing. You were teeing up our time. I was. Okay. We let's watch it. Yeah. I had nothing to do with this sketch. This is a Tucker America, a little Mulaney. I think Solomon. No, not in the rundown. Oh yeah. Well, anyway, it's mean. It's very, it's really mean. And, and I had mixed feelings about it, but it's also undeniably funny. Well, okay. So it's about Apple, the app and taboo from black IPs hosting their own show called our time. Yeah. Now it is, it is a little mean. The fun part though, is that you and Keenan, the intro song is really fun. Cause it's you just singing your part. Our parts of tonight's the night. Yeah. What's it called? Tonight's going to be a good night. What is it? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So it's just like long pauses and then. And it takes you a second to know, I couldn't, it's also funny because it's the opposite of how a lonely Island song would be. Cause it's just long music breaks and nobody talking, but it's, there is a strong premise behind why. And you, you don't realize what the premise is until like halfway through the song. Yeah. Correct. Correct. And now show them some respect. It's taboo and Apple D app. Oh, this is brutal. All right. It's a cop. Our time. Tonight it is. Tonight it is. Tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to our time. Finally, our own show. Just like the people wanted. Okay. I really will say I liked seeing you and Keenan together again. It gave me DJ dynasty handbag. Vibes. Yeah. Some deep house dish. I mean, I love getting to do scenes with him. We obviously, he's so good. Cause you just know if you fall into his rhythm, it's going to work. Yeah. I feel like he's been in so many sketches, right? He's been in so many live sketches. He knows over the course of the sketch, like, Oh, it's going to be this now. Yeah. Like this is the part that's working. This is the part that's not. Chloe. Wow. Thank you so much for being here. We know you are so busy. No. Well, before we begin, we are both in the black and white. I'm Apple D app. What kind of name is Apple D app? Well, you know how well I am as a way of saying, William, Apple D app is a way of saying, and I am named after the board game taboo. No, I will say as a followup, black IPs came on after that aired right after. No, but, but not long after. Yeah. And taboo came like right up to me and was so nice. Great. Like it was just like, that was fucked up. I was like, I know. I'm really sorry. I didn't write it, but he's like, it was funny though. It was funny and was super chill. Oh my God. That's all you want. Yes. Um, this is a thing, uh, Mulaney and Fred would do a lot, which is, uh, Robert Osborne played by Jason Sudeikis would, uh, show clips of a famous movie. And Fred would play somebody who had been cut out of the film. Um, there was a, a one where I think we talked about where he played, uh, the Brewster, the weather vane and wizard of Oz. Oh yeah. That one was so fucking good. Uh, this one is, uh, is crazy. Hello, I'm Robert Osborne and welcome to the essentials where we take a behind the scenes look at America's greatest films tonight, 1965. Seth, will you stop for a sec? Yeah. I love that. There's a solo laugh of someone who knows who Robert Osborne is. And it's laughing at the impression. It is such a thing too, that Higgins would be like, It's a good Osborne. He's thrilled. The sound of music. The film is filled with timeless characters and scenes. But tonight, we show you the moments you haven't seen. The ones that ended up on the cutting room floor. Let's take a look. Don't be lying, Maria. I expect my children to behave at all times. I'm placing them in your command. Oh, yes, sir. When I sound the whistle, they will step forward and say their names. Liesel. Friedrich. Louisa. Hey, how you doing? My name's Ricardo. Now, most people call me Richie, except for my landlord. He just calls me late, you know. For all I know, Maria, this is my adopted son, Richie. Richie didn't grow up in Austria, Fraulein. Oh, no, man. I grew up in the hood. Did you ever hear of 125th Street? Yeah, we used to call it downtown. The bus wouldn't even go to my neighborhood. The only bus we had was 15 cholos, all in garbage can. It's Guantanamera. Cholera, Guantanamera. Though not in the original script, the part of Richie was added by studio head Daryl Zanuck as a vehicle for the 34-year-old Hispanic comedian Richie Inez Jr. So this is just basically Mulaney and Fred with their hyper-specific observations. This is the culmination of a certain era of stand-up comedy. Probably like Freddie Prinze is the model they're using. It's fantastic. And I would say it's more for comedy people than the studio audience. But I think we're just going to keep watching it. That would be us. That would be us. That's observed by our losing it immediately. Oh, my God. You're in the next clip, Andy. Take a look at another lost scene. Hey, it's me. I am 16 going on 17. I know that I'm naive. Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet and willingly I believe. Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, check it out. When I was 16, I lived in the projects. And we didn't play hide and seek. We just played hide. You know, I hide behind the fridge. See a couple of cockroaches back there? Shh, guy up there. We're hiding too. And you know we had that fridge on layaway, Lizzo. Right. Richie, can you keep a secret? Rolf and I are in love. Isn't it wonderful? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know about love, man. Growing up on my block, there was this girl named Juanita. She had them long legs and one of those Dominican butts. You know those Dominican butts? You know what I'm talking about? Oh, I know. He knows. He knows what I'm talking about. I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You sing good, chica. Don't give up on that, okay? Yeah. If you listen closely at the end of that scene, you can hear Julie Andrews say, you've got to be kidding me. Richie Inez Jr. filmed for seven weeks on location in Salzburg, Austria. Cast members said he spent most of that time pointing out things that he didn't have when growing up. Fun fact, all of Richie's lines were lifted from the 1964 comedy album, Wanted, Dead or Hispanic. Let's take a look at one final scene. I'm bigger than I do, I do, I do. All right, hold on, hold on, hold on, let me say one last thing, okay? Break down the music. Girl, give me that microphone. All right, yeah. Now, a lot of you out there, you're afraid of the Germans. You know what I was afraid of growing up? My grandma, my abuelita, she used to sleep with one eye open with a belt in her hand. You even think about breaking something, guapa. This is that amazing Fred thing that he is the only person I have ever met who can make work, which is now, like, the audience is actually just kind of with him, and listening, and he's making that observation that he does better than everybody. He used to do it in his, like, observations about one-man shows, and just that thing of, like, when it becomes maudlin. But he also performs it so well that it sort of works. You kind of are still tracking the jokes and the vibe of it, yeah. You're leaning forward to all this. Yeah, you're leaning forward, and he just, it's crazy. Also, a shout-out to the back line, Vanessa and Bobby and Miley, who just have to listen. While he's doing this. I ain't doing nothing wrong. These guys know what I'm talking about. These guys know what I'm talking about, cut to laughing Nazis. It's so crazy to see swastikas on camera. That is a really ballsy joke. Fucking crazy to see. Well-earned, though, is what I like to say. Well-earned. You gotta do it. Wrap it up, Richie. Okay, I'm gonna wrap it up right now. But every year on your birthday, she used to make you fry plantains. She heat up that thing. You know that? Yeah. She put a half a stick of butter in there, and then she threw in those plantains. And that sound, to me, Oh, no. That's the sound of music, man. I knew it was gonna be hateful, but. Richie Inez Jr. went on to be cut out of several other Hollywood classics, including The Graduate, Star Wars, and Jaws. Where he famously said, we're gonna need a bigger butt. For The Essentials, I'm Robert Osborne. Uh, very nice. It's an absolute treat. Really good. Um, then there's a, uh, uh, Miley Cyrus and Kenan as Raven-Symoné doing a, uh, Disney Channel acting class. Uh, Disney Channel acting school. Disney Channel acting is its own art form. And to master it, you're gonna need a special skill. A special set of tools. On the Disney Channel, every person has to be the loudest person in the room. Watch. What's wrong, Jumantha? If I don't get an A on my science project, I can't go boogie boarding with Kevin. Well, then you should trick Thomas into trading projects with you. Good idea! That's, uh, Millennium America as well. They were very much a Disney Channel era. They had a hot show. They had a hot show? Um, the Miley Cyrus show? Miley showed up as Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber? That's always fun for everybody. Mm-hmm. Vanessa playing Miley. And then, uh, Miley herself showing up. Uh, mostly just fun to see how, uh, somebody like Miley Cyrus perceives a Justin Bieber impression. Kind of in the outfit he's wearing in The Roommate, like a week previous. Yeah, a week previous. Anthony Crespino, secondhand news. Uh, one of my favorite of Bobby's update features. Uh, we've talked about him before, but he, uh, he gets the news a little bit wrong. And it's really fun. And your favorite Fleetwood Mac song, right? anthony crispino secondhand news oh secondhand news yeah you like singing along to it and going that's the one that has lay me down in the long grass oh yeah we've talked about this last time we did secondhand lay me down in the long grass and let me do my stuff yeah you gotta let seth do his stuff yeah just and you gotta let your arm do his stuff when he's narrowing his butt not in the bucket and also maybe there's like one of those sex machines from hbo's real sex in in this scene with me and it's just whomping on him it's whomping him and he's swinging back and forth mario walks through doesn't even look at him not near doesn't even like she walks in she's like did you move my pen yeah he's like wednesday squawking like a chicken all splayed out just splayed out full-on robot like starfished up in the air but he's like held up in the air like vekna's got him just like beautiful new smooth butt this is all hearsay yeah he's like he's like getting like anime porn like different every whereabouts and she just doesn't i mean like if mario's wearing a heart rate monitor just his flat line just nothing you know when we said guys that we would go towards sexual harassment right well we've gotten there guys we've arrived we've arrived yeah episode two fantastic you think episode two well no after we talked about that all right anyway secondhand news seth go all right so here's uh here's anthony crespino talking about um some international news let's just move on okay all right so uh you hear about this uh we hear about this situation in north africa though there's this wizard over there causing all sorts of trouble gandalfi no he's not a wizard and his name is gaddafi no it's not it's not no it's definitely not pretty sure it's not no matter how high your voice gets couldn't hear that one it was too high but um see seth apparently this gandalfi he's a real ladies man you know because he calls himself you know the president of labia i'm not gonna even touch that one oh you're not gonna touch labia seth okay you gotta remember this predates spelling bee predates spelling bee yeah oh but when when labia was have been desensitized because queen of using the word labia and its root um all right wait there's one other thing i wanted to show you it's a real wig james kent and i just feel like we should watch it all the way through i will just say for people who are listening and not watching uh wig and miley cyrus very high like 80s soap star look sort of satiny dresses uh very teased high hair and uh it's shot through a filter it looks like vaseline on the lens beautiful very yeah very soft very soft focus and uh just just the three of them at the height of their powers so good luck picturing that here we go hello my name is jamila - Hello, Rosela Perkins. - And I'm Lynn Doot, and we know what you're thinking. 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That's our CD. they're not salty yeah all right so beastly what was beastly based on uh there was a movie called beastly and so this is just again we're just remaking uh the roommate with beastly yes uh i guess we didn't get voice notes from john and rob this time fuck no fuck should we just make them up oh so beastly an arrogant and cruel student prone to humiliating unattractive classmates is cursed by someone he hurts and physically transformed in everything he despises the only solution to the curse is to find someone that will love him as he is oh that's the plot of beastly we'll get uh we'll get voice notes from those dudes yeah we'll throw them on retroactively um yeah but yeah it was another week of like kind of not sure what to do roommate had gone nice and easy yeah oh by the way we never talked about whether or not it's criterion i feel like we've skipped a few weeks of talking about whether or not things are criterion obviously the roommate yeah we should clean it up i mean for me i would throw uh the roommate straight into kim's videos oh interesting like what is it for if not that it's tough for me to do that wholly because it's a movie parody like a trailer parody yeah but yeah but tonally i agree well so i mean i guess the question is like is and again we've talked about like you know is laser cats all like the laser cats collection in criterion closet right i think yes i can't tell i mean hit us in the right direction but i think it's a fun little thing i might go and let's see how we feel after watching this one like declan movie trailer stuff is in a in its own thing which is just like it's in its own little section it's a fun little thing i think it's helpful that i don't remember the movies at all you know now it becomes its own original thing this one again uh klein will tell you this is going to be minute 14 nice and tight and it's uh going to be fun to watch yorm have you re-watched it today no i i kept it fresh andy have you no i was going to wait till this i didn't have a free minute 14. i haven't either and i'm really uh excited all right here we go should you vote for me just because i'm the rich popular good-looking guy hell yeah in this school looks are everything what's the deal with the witch steer clear man she's into some dark stuff i love my good looks well i curse you to a life without them you have one year to find someone to love you or stay like this forever oh no i'm beastly full-on home alone full-on home alone full-on beastly and i don't feel as though we're asking our audience to remember you from two weeks ago no we're almost kind of hoping they forgot in a lot of ways yeah in a lot of ways we want full credit for it being a new idea yeah it's like if you didn't see that one we're maybe better off it's a very interesting the rare recurring character that's kind of hoping the first one didn't make a mark enough that you can get even though it was like a week earlier i do like picturing you guys in the room that laughing i feel like even lauren would be like do we feel like it's it's too much like the roommate guy and we were like it is the roommate guy all right so now we don't have a lot of time to talk about it but we're going to talk about it in a little bit but we're going to talk about it in a little bit but we're going to talk about it in a little bit but we're going to talk with beastly it's now at the 42 second mark yeah but it's an interesting format the roommate and beastly it's it's 40 seconds of setup yeah and then we have 30 more seconds of jokes and then 30 seconds of just jokes back to back and one could argue we haven't had the only joke is that you have had a home alone reaction yeah and a reveal of the look that no one has ever seen before wink 30 seconds let's see how beastly does now again one of the reasons to think maybe beastly doesn't crush it now is uh this is the the rare rule of twos there will not be a third there will not be a third as long as the show is on that that window is open seth you're right if lauren wants to keep doing it he's going to keep the door open to declan that's when they said do you want to end in season 50 he was like then there's no third declan all right here we go let me see your face pretty gruesome huh i've seen worse really no dude you look like i misjudged you declan it's what's on the inside the oh dude what what's up are you serious i think i sat on some mashed potatoes miley cyrus playing uh the girl and then you turn around making a groaning noise and you're played by gene you're gene hackman so it's a different actor playing declan this time yeah last week it was uh or two weeks ago it was ben kingsley yeah sir ben kingsley yeah sir ben kingsley all right home stretch nine seconds to go a couple more jokes we've called back sometimes people turn around and declan is naked on a bed eating a big time you're eating fried chicken and you sat on mashed potatoes that's right calling back the john solomon that's right on a piece of john solomon worked on that's right that's right i'm pregnant and it's yours you're a man and we haven't slept together bird rango beastly beastly with rango oh i had no problem with the way that it rang oh solomon sent a voice note that fast he did great it's such a great age that we're living in that you can do that i think it's relevant to note that andy and i met at the mtv movie awards where it was our job as writers to insert hosts into movie parodies using existing footage. And I think you can kind of see that expertise at play here in Beasley where with Rob we were able to make the first 30 seconds of a minute 15 or so piece fairly unintelligible, kind of hard to figure out why there's a witch there, where they are, what's going on. And then obviously craft kind of blue chip jokes like Andy sitting on the bed with his legs spread naked eating fried chicken, which is an exact repeat of the beat in Beasley two weeks earlier where he's sitting naked on the bed. And, you know, obviously the Ringo joke at the end. That's all kind of why I worry that Beasley might have kind of soured Lauren on wanting to include Declan. As a character in the 50th anniversary of SNL. But I don't know. I don't know. Thank you, John. Blue chip jokes. There was also a nice moment with your co-writer, because it wasn't just John Solomon, it was Rob Klein. We asked him if he wanted to join the pod today and he said he couldn't because he's watching the Twins all day because he has twins. And Jorm, you actually thought your first read on it was that he was watching the movie Twins all day. Which I thought was a better excuse. I mean, I'm sure it's fun watching Twins. It's a very funny thing. It's funny to ask somebody to come on our podcast to talk about a sketch they wrote and they would rather just watch the movie Twins all day. I mean, it would, to be fair. Yeah. Yeah, I respect you guys getting out and being like, this might not be a thing. Yeah, I liked the roommate jokes more. I liked saying Ringo a lot. Yeah. It showed on your face. Still wish your head had turned around. The guy in the movie doesn't know the movie he's in. And in fact says it's a different movie and gets corrected by the other person in the movie. That's something I like. That's a real shy. Ronnie vibe to this one. You know, Declan has a little bit of crossover. There's a Venn diagram there. Yeah, no doubt about it. He talks different, though. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try one more time. Welsh name that I keep saying wrong. Reese Ephans. I think it's Reese Ephans. OK. Anyway. Hey, Andy, somebody said you were your Don Pardo impression. Sounds like a sleepy Nicolas Cage. So I'm going to address that. But just to be clear, we're moving off beastly. Yeah, we're done. We're done. Did you have more to say about beastly? I don't know. I mean, it's going to be the name of this episode. Yeah, that's true. All right. Keep going. I thought it was fine. Yeah, it's fine. Roommate, stronger. It had the advantage of the discovery, you know, of this new idea. This new world. It's late in your run at this point. It's late in your run. And people are like, whoa, he's got more in the back. Whoa. He's been saving Declan. This don't ever run out. This isn't like Shy Ronnie at all. So Kim's video on Roommate. Do you think you were Declan-ing? This was your way of trying to make it easier for Lauren to let you go? You were like, if I just keep hitting him with Declans, he'll be like, it's time. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's somewhere between that desperation and exhaustion, I would say. Yeah. But I also liked the look of the character. And I liked that we had an idea already. It's fun. I bet you were in a good mood when you were in full Declan gear with Klein. And Solly? Yeah. It was easy to shoot. Yeah. It looks good. They did a good job of cutting it in. That's a good positive. You were with people you liked. Oh, was I ever. So Sleeping in a Cage. Do you think that's a fair hit on your part? I mean, kind of everything I do is a little bit that, right? So just now as Sleeping in a Cage. Yeah. Sleeping in a Cage doing SNL intros. Give me like Mikey Day, Andrew Dismukes, James Austin Johnson. this is saturday night live i don't know i'm trying to make it sound more sleepy nick cagey yeah because my don pardo is more like that you know all right now just do a wide awake nick cage give me a michael che give me a mikey day land your host the ayatollah i don't know i'm not locked in if i'm being honest i'm not locked in you're not locked in it's fine it's fine uh sometimes people you know in the comments they'll have a time code and then it'll allow me to reference something like for example the way you said oh right or the way that keith said i guess sometimes when you said i'm making yeah from earlier in this episode yeah yeah and someone in last week's episode wrote uh 4308 and then they just wrote shout out to time codes so i thought they were shouting out how helpful they are but when i clicked it it was me saying shout out to time codes works on so many levels if you do enough episodes of a podcast you eventually will say something like shout out to time codes yeah yeah a lot you're like what would happen in my life to make that be a thing i say if i told you that a few years ago you'd be like you know someday you're gonna say publicly shout out to time codes you'd be like fuck off fuck off i'm not some boring dweeb i got a talk show on television i'm not gonna do a different medium that's time code dependent like i'm young i'm a young man uh all right dudes all right dude the last of declan we won't see declan again for a while wait hold on so i'm gonna say kim's video for the roommate not for this one and then i'm curious what keith thinks and then we didn't talk about the creep oh yeah cry team for sure for show that's not it does not have my vote i feel more conflicted than i thought i would be based on its quote-unquote success within our canon wait so you wouldn't have before it was successful and now that it is you don't well i'm not sure it makes me think it's a candidate for me the creep misses there's a i'm big laugh missing for me on the creep okay i don't disagree can i tell you my reasoning for for keeping it like yeah my reasoning is is actually has to do with musical i had always wanted us to do a dance song even if i was fucking cut out of it like if my friends weren't pieces of shit and uh and what was your verse though i want to find it yeah where's your we didn't actually complete it it was me under the bleachers and i wrote part of it we started recording it and then we were all like no it doesn't actually need it like we we decided in the room we did not you never recorded it i think i may have started recording it and then we were started it and i can't remember but it maybe felt redundant or something i can't remember what our thinking was but um yeah it's not on wax it's not on digital wax okay um but to me like in the same way you know like uh brass monkey was you know like a little bit of our santana dbx like it's a song that should be on an album and to me just because of that should be it is canon it is uh i don't want to say canon i think it's all those things i think it's canon i think it's great album song i just think when we talk about criterion so you're basing that on just like how many laughs then like joke wise it has to like hit a certain bar for you and it and it didn't yeah i think we're not using canon correctly i just want to point that out i think so too yeah canon is like the lore of a world created in a story or a show well then i think we are but you know what i'm not as good at spelling b and like you know definitions that's true uh andy's right andy is right it is uh fuck really yeah but you can say i only repeated your arm because he said it so confidently that's what you need but isn't there a different way of using it which was the first way i used it which is in our canon like canon of work is that a different thing or am i wrong yeah well it's that's the way i was yeah it's the that movie event is part of the official story can i was also saying that it was explosive like you guys were saying it was canon like the way people talk about like a story point or something in like lord of the rings or marvel or something i was saying it was part of our canon a canon of work an accepted body of official genuine or highly respected writings and creation interesting you know what i mean i meant like canon like kaboom that really went off with a shot and i was talking about the camera brand okay sick so we're all on the same page yeah or different pages but all put together it's the most important thing is that this episode never ends because it was the most important one ever um oh uh the the band cat's eye was on the tonight show with jimmy fallon and it kind of felt like they were doing the creep oh really yeah i gotta check it out yes you sent that so the dance move was uh and i'm sure they have a fan base that is uh cool and laid back and i wouldn't take this as a criticism but uh daylo drank his shit um keep couldn't be here we didn't mention that oh yeah we should have mentioned the schedule didn't work out but he's on keeve leave yeah he's on keeve leave i'm sure that he's already sent some in and you've been hearing them already but if there's any keeves greaves or keeves of greaves or um keeves greaves i'm not gonna fight that keeves peeves yeah this would be a good one i'm not gonna fight that i'm not gonna fight that i'm not gonna fight this would be a spot for those right now keeve you could just um hit us in the uh proverbial titus hello everybody it's akiva sorry i couldn't make the episode this week but i also wasn't there at snl this week so it kind of works out uh i've just been listening to the to the app and i gotta say guys i love it i'm a big fan quaid army i know that sounded sarcastic but i really mean it the creep is criterion and uh you're wrong uh seth andy i can tell you're on the fence but uh you're it is and you don't have to defend it it just clearly is and then um the roommate is uh not kim's video for me but i don't have specific complaints except for maybe that It just feels kind of slight and lazy. But is that specific? I don't know. And then beastly, obviously criterion. All right. You know what's one of my thorns, my yorm thorns? Yeah, what's your yorm thorn? Hit us with a thorn, yorm. Okay, so I remember this. This was a real yorm thorn at the time. So I was in Spain. I was at a McDonald's. I was trying to get some ketchup. So I was like, ketchup? Do you have ketchup? And they were like, huh? I'm like, okay. Ketchup. Do you have any ketchup? And they were like, uh, it went on for a while. And then she was like, oh, ketchup. And I was like, are you kidding me? Fucking, that's like the same word. Anyway, cat's eye sounded like ketchup. Jesus. Fucking crazy that you get money for this. You fucking love it, bro. I didn't say I didn't love it. So Andy, it feels like that maybe the telling of that story is your yorm thorn. We've all got our thing, guys. What is it? Nothing rhymes with Andy that is like an agitation. Andy's. Yeah. Andy's. I will tell you that I knew, I feel like I've been doing this podcast long enough, or maybe just known yorm long enough. The minute he said cats up, I was like, oh my God, that's what cats eye made him think of. I knew where, I was like, what was that? I was like, what is this? You speak yorm. Yeah. I'm like, oh. What about Andy's Randys? Because he's so horny recently. Or like Andy's candies, because candies give you cavities. Oh, yeah. That too. I'm workshopping it, Seth. I don't know. You don't need the judgment, dude. I'm sorry. Yeah. Sound off in the comments about what Andy's complaint should be called. Or maybe it's just like a yorm thorns Andy's version. We just gave up. We gave up with a word play. What episode is this? Finally. I don't know. A million. A million and 700. Oh, Kevin Miller pitches Sam Burns. I got a Sam Burn. Something that burned my butt. Yeah. Just like the Nair did on. Oh, and he's just, he's like swinging back and forth. Just squawking. Mari walks in. Robot sex robot chasing him around the room like he's a piñata. He might as well be a ghost. Yeah. Andy's Randys. There's nothing yorm can do that could make Mari act like she's seeing it for the first time. That is very true. Let me tell you. She is bummed out. He's like, oh, my God. It's happening again. Look at me. This is to get the hair off my butt and nothing else. I don't. Enjoy it. Fucking HBO real sex pistons. Just firing. Who's all curled. Anyway, that's my friend. All right. I know that I don't say this often enough, but I love you guys. Love you, buddy. I love you, too. Later, Arnold. Later, Quades. Later, Keith. Later, fellas. Yorm. Love the ketchup story. So good. Seth. Cat's eye. Is. Well-loved in this household, and I don't appreciate what you were saying. Hands off, Gabriella. Gabriella. La, la, la.