Be the Energy

What's up Rehabs across the world? Welcome to Straight Up with Trent Shelton. Throughout my career, from the NFL to sold out stages speaking to thousands, I built up a toolkit to break through negative mindsets. Let go with holding you back and start rehabbing your life. Now, I'm sharing those tools with you in a whole new way. I'm always going to be real with you and give you the 100% truth, even when it's going to pierce your heart. This is me, Trent Shelton, Straight Up. [Music] I want to ask you this question, and I want you to be real with yourself. Like, "Oh, Trent, I'm great. I'm great." Like, be real with yourself. The question I got for you is this, and I asked myself this question a while ago, probably a year ago, and it really changed my perspective on some things. It made me change some things in my life. What type of soil are you? And some of you might be confused right now, like, "Trent, what type of soil do I have?" I don't know. Let me go outside and check. No, I didn't say, "What type of soil do you have?" What type of soil are you? We know soil is the most important thing in the garden to produce growth, right? We know that. Well, guess what? It's the same in life, right? Soil is the most important thing in life to produce growth. And I'm not talking about producing your own growth. I'm talking about producing growth in those around you, those that encounter you, those that come into your presence, those that indulge your energy, right? Those that come in your vicinity, like, "What happens when people get around you?" Okay, what type of soil do you have? Do you have great soil? Do you have a good soil? Do you have bad soil? We do know this bad soil doesn't produce good fruit. Hello. And I'm talking to somebody right now. When you look around your life and you see bad fruit, it might be because you're soiling good. That's not always the case, but it might be because of that. When you look around your life and you see goodness around your life, you see other people better. You see people thrive around you. It might be because you have great soil. Okay? And the visualization that I want to give you right now is picture everything that you encounter in your life, your kids, your friends, your whatever, as seeds. Okay? As seeds, your co-workers as seeds, the people that you coach as seeds, the people that you encounter at the grocery store as seeds. Okay? And you are in the soil. So when the seed is planted in the soil, aka, they get around you, aka, they talk to you have conversations with you, aka, etc. Right? When that seed comes into your soil, your life, your energy, your character, what happens to that seed? Does that seed grow to produce good fruit? Does that seed get better when they're around you? Does that seed change their minds in a positive way when they encounter you or is it the opposite? Right? Do you make their word worse instead of better? Right? Do you make their attitude worse instead of better when they get around you? Do they see you as an example of what not to do instead of an example to do the right thing? So I want to, I want you to think about that as we go through this episode of what type of soil am I? And again, great soil produces great fruit. So when you look around your life and you see great fruit, it's probably because you have some great soil in your life. And I just this past weekend, the 14 U team, seven or seven Tristan's team that I help coach, we just want to champion. We're in a major championship. And that people come up to me after it says like, it's like you know what to do with these kids. You know, it's like, this your first time coaching them, but they take to you so well because I was coaching defense. It's like, you just know how to bring out the best in other people in these kids, especially they listen to you. And it's because of these five things. It's like, man, they responded to you so well. It's because of these five things. It's not just with the kids. I understand how to bring out the best in people. So if you're ready, let's get right into this number one. Okay. You have to be a real model. I need to say role model. We can put slash role model. But sometimes a role model means you're playing a role. And sometimes we got to play roles. I get that right. We got to play the role of this and that in the pin on the situation. But let's just stick with this. You got to be a real model. If you want to bring out the best and others, start with the mirror. And the question that I asked that I want to put on your heart right now and ask you that I'm asking myself is, can they see it in you? Can they see it in you? Those kids I just talked about, they can see it in me. They know that I'm about the elite lifestyle. I'm not just preaching for them to be elite. They can see you leading me. It starts with the mirror. The problem that I see so many times is that we're trying to tell somebody what to do. We're trying to be a model, but in all actuality, we're modeling what not to do. If that makes sense. We're trying to tell people what to do, but they can't see it in us. We're trying to tell people to become better, and they don't see us becoming better. We're trying to tell people don't settle and they see us settling. We're trying to tell people to believe and they don't see any belief in us. So it starts with the mirror. You say, like, how do I do that? Well, two things I want to talk about. Number one is positive persuasion. How do you persuade people? Now there's negative persuasion. There's persuasion where we rely persuasion, where especially on social media, we live in this filter lifestyle. I'm not talking about that persuasion. I'm talking about positive persuasion. Peepee. Not peeing, but like peepee. Positive persuasion. Let your life persuade. Let your life be the example. It's not always your words that persuade people. More often than not, it's your lifestyle that does. You see, your actions bring value to your words. See, a lot of us think we have to talk ourselves. We have to talk others into persuading them. No. We let our life and our actions do the talking force. So number one, positive persuasion. Let your life persuade what you're trying to help someone become. So when my athletes, they see me working hard. They see me my intensity. They see our prepare. Tristan, I'm going to talk about Tristan a lot today because he's the person that I really want to bring out the best. One of the people that I'm really dedicated, obviously, is my son to bring it out the best. Tristan sees how I operate every single day. So when I tell him something, he believes that he knows it because he sees his daddy do it. He don't have to question is it real because my positive persuasion, aka my actions, have shown him that it's real. I'm a real model. Not a perfect model. I show him the doubts. He see me be depressed. He see me cry. He see me go through it, but he's seen his dad bounce back. He sees his dad get knocked down, but he sees dad get right back up. Right. So he's able to see it. So I'm not telling you to be a perfect model. Be a real one. I had a conversation with a kid on the side. He was crying. I said, man, I remember when I were crying the side line because there's so much pressure, right? And he looked at me and said, man, you cry. Like his whole mood changed. So I said, instead of me being that coach, I'll stop crying. He looked at me, his whole mood change. He's like, wow. And I was able to be able to persuade him to say, hey, this is just a moment. This moment doesn't define you greater than this moment. Let's pick ourselves up and let's move forward because I showed him vulnerability. Right. So part of being a role model is showing that vulnerability. It's showing that real you not necessarily to perfect you. The second thing I want to talk about is this be the influence. Okay. I know in this world, we talk about all the time. You are an influencer. You're damn right. I don't care if you don't want the title or not. You are influencing people some way somehow and what you do. You are contagious as I love to say. You are contagious. So when someone is around you, if you want to bring out the best and others, can they can they catch the best from you? You know what I mean? Like if you want to bring out the best and others, you have to be the best within yourself. Can they catch it from you? What's the mindset that they're going to catch from you? What's the energy that they're going to catch from you? What's the character that they're going to catch from you? What's the accountability they're going to catch from you? What's the integrity? They're going to catch from you because you are contagious. You know, so be the influence. You'll be the example. You'll be the leader. And that's how you become a great influence is that man. This person is actually trying their best to live what they preach. I can see it in them. So number one, if you want to bring out the best and others, be a real model. Okay, if you're a real model, hit me up on IG right now. Say Trent, I'm a real model. I'm going to be a real model. Number two, be an understander. Okay, be an understander. And I'm a, I don't even understand as a word, but it's a trend word. So if it is, I don't know, but I just made it up being an understander. What's a K, what does that mean? What's their spark type? I'm an athlete. I still consider myself one. In my whole athletic career, it was all about having, you know, different coaches. And what makes a great coach, it's not just their scheme. It's not just their exes and those, but it's understanding each player's spark type, which means like, how do you communicate in a way to create their spark? And we're going to talk about communication next. How can I make this person tick? What makes them tick? Right? What makes them excited? What makes them, you know, what makes them motivated? What makes them inspired? The best coaches in the world, they know their players. The best parents in the world, they know their kids because they are an understander. And it's very important to know what, what moves a person. Very important. It reminds me, I'm going to talk a lot about coaching because I think this is a perfect, for me, a perfect example to show you like how to bring out the best of the people. It was, it was probably maybe two years ago. And I'm going to make this story short, but Tristan was playing ball, right? And Tristan, obviously, I know Tristan, I know his spark type and he was making some mistakes. So I put him to the sideline and I gave it to him. I said, Hey, man, you playing soft. You know, I said, you playing soft. That's not how we play. You running from the smoke. Now, we don't run from the smoke. We are the smoke. You bring it. Stop receiving. And you go, be the bringer of bringing, bringing that energy. It's like I call it some all the time. Be the bringer. You bring in the energy you bring in the intensity. We ain't receiving nothing. Now you ain't the receiver. Even though you're a wild receiver, we bring in the energy, okay? And so Tristan responded well because I knew a spark type and Tristan started bringing the energy, right? So then another kid that same game was playing soft. So I bring him to the sideline. I'm like, Hey, bro, I talked to my players. Like, Hey, you need you playing soft. Like you getting it brought to you. You need to bring the energy. And as soon as I said that, I started seeing them, them eyes water. I'm like, Oh my gosh. I started seeing a slow tear just drip down the face. I'm like, gosh. I said, man, I broke my golden rule. I haven't took time to understand because this kid was new. I haven't took time to understand how this kid responds, how this kid receives communication. For you listening to me right now, if you want to bring out the best of the people, you have to understand how that person receives communication because everybody doesn't receive the communication the same way. If you want to be a great communicator, one of the foundational principles is understanding how people receive communication. And this kid is starting to cry. His mother's looking at me and he stands like, mama bear, and I'm like, gosh, I got to hear it after. And sure enough, I did. He's like, why'd you make my baby cry? And so I had to break it down. And I understood. I started talking to my mother. I understood how his mother, how she received communication. And you know, it ended up being good. And so I ended up getting the best out of that kid because I understood, okay, he doesn't respond to like Tristan, right? I got to kind of dial it back and I got to have a different approach. And I found that approach. I found out his spark type, right? His spark type was different than Tristan. And I was able to get the best out of him. So in being to understand, I want to talk about this real quick. There's three levels deep of communication. I'm obsessed with communication. I need to start teaching on it more. If you don't know, I'm very obsessed with communication, AKA connection. How do you connect with people? Because if you don't connect with them, you're never going to bring out the best in them. Three levels deep of communication. Okay, the first level is what a lot of people are at is that they hear. And you know this. Let me just, let me start off by saying this. Every human being wants to be heard, seen and valued. They want to feel like they matter. Okay, if you can make a person feel and know that they matter to you, you will open up the gates to be able to bring out the best in them. The problem is we live in a very impatient world. We live in a very selfish world that nobody wants to take the time to understand the human being that they're trying to bring out the best in others because a lot of times you're not trying to bring out the best in them. You're trying to get something out of them for yourself. And that's the wrong way to go about things. But if you're truly committed to bringing out the best in them, you have to understand three levels deep of communication. So number one is here. Okay, most people here, we're not number one, but most people start here, right? They hear. And they are hearing to reply. They're hearing, but they're not really engaged, right? They're on their phone and thinking about something else. And this person is telling you something important and the most, the worst thing that you can do in a conversation is show a person that you're not interested in what they're saying. And most people are here. And if you're a coach, if you're a teacher, if you're a parent, if you're not, we'll get to, I want to skip. If you're just hearing, then it's going to be hard to break through to that person. That's telling you how they feel or telling you some type of information. The second level is listening. A lot of people are here, right? They listen, but they're not fully present. They're not in a place where they're fully engaged in the human being that's speaking to them. So they're listening, but they're probably still thinking about, okay, what do I want to say next? Or, okay, what's the point that I want to prove? Are what's my rebuttal to this? And they're thinking in their head about their rebuttal and literally they're disrespecting the person that's communicating with them by not being fully present, which is the last level of connection, which is understanding. Right? A understander doesn't, isn't there in the conversation just to reply? Oftentimes, they don't reply. They allow the person to be able to speak how they feel. An understander is asking questions. Have you ever seen an interview? By the way, I noticed this random just came to my head. But like, the worst interview is on podcast. And I know this because I deal with it sometimes is like, they have these questions. If you do this, change it. This is so random, by the way. But they have these, like, they ask questions that they have all these questions predetermined. And like, you're talking about something deep. And it's a perfect alley you for them to ask about what you're talking about. But they're so locked in the next question. They ask a question about some random. And I'm like, Dave, did you not just hear what I'm talking about something emotional? You just went to a whole random other question. And a lot of people, it's not their fault, but they don't understand how to ask the right questions, right? Because if you're trying to understand somebody or understand what they're saying, you're going to ask questions. And so even with my athletes, even with the people that I coach, et cetera, people in my life, people that I care about love that I want to bring out the best in them, I'm asking them questions because I'm trying to understand because the more I understand, the more I can create change in their life, the more I can understand their spark type, the more I can persuade them in a positive way, the more I can push them, if I understand, oh, this makes them move. Okay, cool. Let me do this to make them move. Okay, this is how they receive communication. Okay, cool. Let me communicate with them like this. Okay, this is how they're motivated because I took the time to understand them. Okay, cool. I can understand my employees or my coworkers or my friends. I can know when they're going through something because, okay, this is why they're sad today because I understand they're dealing with something in their life. Oh, this is why they're going through something. And so you have to become legendary at being able to understand and understand what is their spark type. Build the connection. Okay, build the connection. And how do you build connection? You are present. Be present. The magic question I've talked about a lot is how can I be more present? If you can ask yourself that question in moments of communication, it will make you legendary as a communicator. How can I be more present in this moment? How can I make this person feel hurt, seem, or value? Okay, so number two, be an understander. Understand what is their spark type because everybody got the same spark type. Number three, okay, communicate with their potential. Now, there's a lot of people in this world. Potential is an awesome thing, but potential is Harley Met. If you want to bring out the best in others, you can't just be okay with them living with their potential. Everybody in this world is living with their potential. Everybody has the potential to be great. Everybody has the potential to take it to the next level. Everybody has the potential to change, but everybody doesn't do it. Right? So you got to sit there and ask yourself, how can I help them not just live with their potential, but actually live in their potential. I'm going to give you two ways to do this. Okay, simple. Number one, and most people get number one wrong. Speak to their highest self. I'm going to take my time with this one. Sometimes when we're trying to bring out the best in other people, we think that be little in them is the best way to get them to respond. Now, some people respond to that, but most people don't. You got to start speaking to the king in that man, the king in that boy, the king in that young man. You got to start speaking to their highest self. You got to start speaking to the potential because this world already is reminding them that they ain't enough. This world already is reminding them that they're a mistake. This world is already trying to beat them down and kick them and kick them while they don't. If you want to bring out the best in somebody, you have to open up their mind to possibilities that they might not even know exist. My life changed with rehab time and speaking when somebody came into my life and saw some of me, I didn't see in myself. It wasn't even on my radar to do this, but they saw it in me. They saw the gift in me and they pulled me to the side and said, Trent, you don't say much, but when you speak, you say a lot. And I know it because I'm around people that have gifts in communication and you got it. And I was like, what? You got it. He saw some of me that I didn't see in myself. He planted a seed in me. He was good soil. I was the seed. He was good soiled by just speaking to my highest self. Now look at rehab time. Now look what I'm doing because somebody spoke to my highest self. They could have tore me down. He could have said I wasn't enough. He could have had that opinion on me, but he spoke to my highest self. Speak to the queen in that woman. Speak to the queen in that little girl. And watch how they shift. Watch how they change. Speak to that person. High yourself. Speak to their potential so they can meet their potential. So their potential doesn't stay a stranger for the rest of their life. But we're always telling people what they're doing wrong. And I get reality. I get telling people certain things that are true and they need to correct. But if it's always speaking to their lowest self, always speaking to the lesser version of themselves, they're never going to believe that they're greater. If it's always, if the only time you're communicating is you're communicating when they're doing some wrong. Even as parents with kids, if all we're telling our kids, all we're communicating is when they're doing wrong and we're never really communicating when they're doing right, they're not going to allow us to bring out the best in them. We're not going to be a real model to them because they're not going to feel understood. And I'll even take it a step further in this scenario. Like some of us, like with energy levels, and this is just a sidebar with energy levels, a lot of us, we will sit here and speak to the lower version of somebody with all the energy in the world. We will yell, we will raise our voice, but then when it's somebody highest self, meaning they do something right, they do something good, they make a change. We don't even acknowledge it most times. Or it's like, okay, good job. Energy speaks, y'all. Energy speaks. So if you want to bring out the best in the person, you got to communicate with a higher self. Try it. It doesn't mean that you ignore the reality of where they are, but you got to show them where they can be if they're ever going to become it. Do you feel me? Speak to their higher self because there's a person not just in my communication life as a speaker, but even in my football life, my coach spoke to my higher self. He said, Trent, I've been in the NFL. You have what it takes. You're not there yet, but there's something inside you that I see that you got. And for four years, he spoke to my higher self. He impl- Oh, man. Thanks, Coach Jack. He, he planted a seed of greatness inside of me. He wanted that seed. He was good soil to my life. And the result of being good soil is that I made my NFL dreams come true with this helping God's grace. Number two, okay, when it comes to communicating with their potential. So you're not lost here. Number one is a rope, be a real model. Number two is being understanding. Number three is communicating with their potential. So we're under this umbrella. We're communicating with their potential. The first thing under this was speak to their higher self. Number two, okay, in this communicating with their potential. Architect, they confidence. Okay, write this down. Architect, they're confidence. And so what do you mean by this trend? To put in a trend term, set up something every single day for this person, if you can. Maybe it's every single week, even for yourself, where you architect confidence. So for my life, like this cold punch thing, like I know it's like the new thing. Now I've been doing cold punches for sports since I was probably 10 years old. It wasn't a mindset thing for me, which is like my body hurts. They say, getting a cold punch to recover cool. But now it's more of a mindset thing for me. Obviously, recovery too, but there's so many benefits holistically. So what I do, almost every single day, and it's never comfortable. It's never easy. But I know if I do something that's hard, if I do some I don't want to do, if I do something that's uncomfortable and I conquer that, then I'm going to gain confidence from that. And so I literally set up my day to go do a task that I know I'm going to be 100% have 100% completion rate at unless I just don't do it. All I got to is jump in the cold punch. I sit there and guess what confidence is going to come from that. I'm going to get a boost of dopamine. I'm going to get a boost of high self-esteem. I'm going to feel good about myself because I did some horror. I did some uncomfortable. So that's how one of the ways that I architect confidence every single day to build my confidence. Confidence is doing some hard overcoming something that might not be something you want to do, but you still do it, right? You build that that contagiousness throughout your life of belief. Belief is a part of confidence. Okay. The more you believe, the more confident you will become. So how does this relate into architecting confidence with those you want to bring the best out of? I got to talk about Tristan. Okay. Tristan, we talked about loudness episode because as I said before, he's just right now. I'm in the moment of really focusing on him and bringing out the best of him to help his dreams come true. He's a beast, by the way, and I'm super proud of basketball. Used to be his sport. He took time off from basketball and he wasn't too good at it, right? At the time. He took time off. I wanted to focus on football. Other sports cool. I'm with it. And so he started to shoot when he came back to basketball. And obviously, you know, if you don't do something a lot, especially in sports in basketball, you're going to probably going to lose your you lose your rhythm, lose your touch in that sport or in that craft. And so he's shooting at these games and he's airballing like literally like, you know, the crowds are in airball airball. And I feel bad for him, but I'm laughing because this is a part of sports. If you can't take it like, like, sports aim for you. And so I said, okay, I got to work with Tris because what happened was once he air balled a few shots, he lost his confidence. And then he stopped shooting open shots and he started to travel. He started to do all these other things. So I said, okay, this is what we're going to do, bro. We're going to get a gym membership. And he was down for this. I said, we're going to get a gym membership. And before school, you're going to go work out with me. And we're going to spend 40, 45 minutes at least three times a week. And we just going to shoot. We're going to go into the gym. You want to become better. You got to just be spent time in the gym. And so we go here three times a week for 45 minutes. And the first, the probably the first 10, maybe first four or five times Tristan still shooting pretty bad, right? Still air ball. He'll make a shot here and there. But I want you to hear me when I say this because this is the whole point of this message. Even when he was air baller in there, you know, I told Tristan, keep shooting. You a shooter. He kind of looked at me at first. Like, I just keep shooting you a shooter. Air baller shot. Keep shooting you a shooter. Mr. shot. I said, Shooters shoot. I don't want you to ever think because a Mr. May shot, you not him. Keep shooting. And I kept telling him this over and over. We kept getting in the gym. Having this repetition. You know what happened at about day, about workout number six. He started shooting and I seen his confidence change because he believed it. And he started shooting three and it was. That's my best sound of like a swish. Nothing but that hit five, six, seven in a row. One day, he had 10 in a row. Literally within six, six workouts, almost two weeks. Because he believed at that moment, he was a shooter. That was me architecting his confidence and it was me speaking to his highest self. I could easily say, Bro, come on, man, stop shooting. You know, air ball two shots. Let's take it on. You in a shooter. Now, you a shooter. Mr. Make you a shooter. You got to believe it. You legendary mistake, failure, succeed. No matter you legendary, you got to believe that. That's a part of architect and confidence. That's a part of speaking to someone's highest self. You communicate with their potential. And I promise you, if you continue to communicate with their potential and they can see it in you, they can see that you care, they can see that you're a real model. They can see that you really understand them. They will eventually over time walk into their potential and live in their potential. If that makes sense to you. So number three, communicate with their potential. Number four, be their lighthouse. Okay. If you want to bring out the best in people, you have to be the go to form. Now, I'm not telling you to lose yourself and, you know, always be like, I'm not telling you to be taken advantage of. I'm not telling you to be on call all the time, right? Don't take that from this because I believe in protecting your peace as you know, but you got to be there go to. You got to be the person that they, that they look at for inspiration that they look at for the example. You have to be the lighthouse. What's a lighthouse? A lighthouse, obviously, for my knowledge is it helps a ship at sea be able to know whether or not at times, right? Maybe they're lost. A lighthouse let you know, okay, maybe this is by the shore. Here I'm at, right? A lighthouse illuminates the darkness of the sea of the water. A lighthouse is a point that will guide you to a certain place. It reminds me, I'm going to tell you a quick story when I was in Fiji. And, you know, we did jet skis and usually with jet skis like in most cities islands, they don't let you go out like past a certain time because it gets dark in the sea in ocean. So we're in Fiji and I had this awesome idea, maybe I'll post the, I'll actually post the video, y'all can see it, but I had this whole protect your peace idea of like, man, this would be a dope shot. And they're like, hey, there's this sand bar in the middle of an ocean. It's like secluded. Nobody goes out there, but we know where it's at. It was two guys. And it's like, but man, you know, it's about to be sunset and we can't take out out there because it's too late. I said, man, no, it is a perfect time. I said, what can we do? And he saw the cameras. Because I had some, my camera people with me. It's like, man, if you just take pictures of us while we're out there, like, we'll take it all out there. We'll go against the rules. I like that. So we go out there with our camera equipment. Like, I'm nervous, too, because I'm, I told my friend, like, hey, if it drops in the water, I'll buy you another one. Another one. So I'm like, please don't drop in the water. So we go out there on these jet skis for sunset. Man, it was the dopest visual. We have the drawing out there, like, protect your piece 101, the sunset, infusion, the middle of the ocean, like probably one of my best shots ever. And what we didn't realize though was that we got to drive back. It was about, it took us about 10, 15 minutes to get to this spot on jet skis. We didn't realize that we got to drive back. So as we're driving back, the sun is setting. And you know, I want to get one more picture on the jet scale. Like, oh man, the sunset, give me a picture, didn't hit me. I said, we about to drive back at nighttime, darkness in the middle of this ocean. I know for sure this ocean got sharks. So I went scooping out and I seen them. So I'm like, Lord Jesus help me. I'm like, man, we got to go. So it got wavy. If you ever wrote jet skis on waves, it is very scary at times. It's fun. But at nighttime, it's scary. And all I can think about was sharks. I like, it sharks all around us, even though it might not have been true. But that was my mindset. And I was like, man, where are we at? And I'm trusted. The guides are obviously, but I'm like, man, I don't know these do. These is my try to set us up. You ever feel like you're doing all the right things, journaling, working out, drinking water, and still feel off. Yeah, same here. That's what I want to tell you about today's sponsor, talk Iatry. Talk Iatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that connects you with a licensed psychiatrist who actually takes the time to understand what's going on and build a personalized treatment plan, medication when it's appropriate. You take a short online assessment, get matched. You can book your first visit in days, not months. Check this out over 300,000 people. 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That's seeing dead. I thought I was about to be shark food. I tell you that story because that ship was my lighthouse. That ship was my guide at that moment. That ship was my safety. That ship was my comfort. Are you that for the people that you're trying to bring the best out of? Are you their guide? Are you their comfort? Are you their safety? You might be asking, how can I elevate being a lighthouse? Two things. Number one, public praise. As a coach, as people, we're good. I see it in sports all the time with parents. We're so good at publicly shaming our kids. Sometimes they need it. I might not use the word shame, but even publicly correcting our kids are just people in general. We're so good at that. We're so good at this isn't right. Do this. We're so good with that energy. But oftentimes we're not good as I said earlier with matching that energy with public praise. I like to say, put people on a platform or put people on a podium where you shine the light on them. Around other people on social media, you shine the light. Maybe you tell people, man, I'm so proud of such and such in your stories. Are you going there, comments? I'm so proud of you. Are you sharing other people publicly? Man, this person right here is doing so great. When you do that, you become more of a lighthouse in their life. Because now you have shine the light on them that they probably have never got a light shine in their life before in that matter or that fashion. Number two is be their growth support. Be the person that helps them grow. Be the person that challenges them. Be the person that corrects them in a positive way. Be the person that helps them stand up. Be the person that has their back. Be their growth support. Be the person that they can depend on when they can't depend on anybody. Okay? So number four, be their lighthouse. Number five, as you wrap this up, I know it's a long episode today, but I hope you still with me. Number five, last but not least, how to bring out the best in others is you got to release them. Okay? Maybe it's your co-worker, maybe it's your trainee, maybe it's your kids, maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it's an athlete that you coach. At some point, you got to release them. At some point, you got to give them the permission to be great. You know, with Triss, when I train him, there comes a point where I just go let him do it himself. So even with the basketball story earlier, there came a point in the gym where I wasn't in there no more. I said, hey, you know the routine? You know you're a shooter? You and your friends are in here because he inspired his friends to come join. I said, you go handle this. You go do it. I'm releasing you to be great. I'm releasing you to hold yourself accountable. I'm releasing you to believe in yourself and to let you know, this is not just daddy making you be great. This is Tristan making you be great. And it's the same in your situation with the people you're trying to be the best, bring the best out of because sometimes they think, oh, it's just because this person's helping me. That's why I'm great. You got to release them to help them build confidence. So number one, let them grow without you. Okay. Let them grow without you. Like take the training wheels off and let them grow without you because if they're always dependent on you, they're never going to build the confidence inside of themselves to believe that they are capable of doing great things without you. And number two, let them prove it to themselves because that's how they'll build the ultimate confidence and that's how they'll be the best they can be. And also that's how they'll duplicate this with other people. That's how it'll go from you inspiring them to them inspiring other people. And last but not least, as a bonus, as we wrap today up, just love and care for them, man. At the end of the day, if you don't do any of this, just love and care for them. When somebody feels loved and cared about, it's almost like it gives them permission to be their best selves. When somebody knows that they're loved, it's like it gives them freedom. It reminds me of the Kobe story. And I want to get to in depth in this, but Kobe told this story. And he said, you know, he was struggling in basketball. When he was like 12 years old, he was terrible. Actually, believe it or not, he was terrible. And he said the thing that changed for him to bring out the best within himself was that his parents said, we love and care about you, whether you score one point or you score 100. And he said, that was the permission he needed to be able to go be great because maybe in his mind, I'm an athlete, I've been here where you kind of you kind of predicate your worth on your performance, the worth of how people feel about you. Oh, my parents only love me when I'm scoring this or when I'm scoring touchdowns or doing that. And it's a lot that we often tell ourselves. And so Kobe was like, man, I'm good. Whether I score one point or 85, I know that I'm loved. I tell Tristan this all the time. I told me yesterday in this game. I said, bro, I obviously want you to be the best you can be on that field. I'm a hold your accountable to bring and bring an effort, but do know winner lose good game, bad game. I'm just damn proud of you and I love you regardless. My energy is so pure right now, man. What I mean by that is flowing through my heart with all the positivity, all the gratitude, all the appreciation. I'm just thinking about right now in my life as I prepare for one of my biggest events ever, the Protect Your Peace experience. And I'm just thinking about how blessed I am, how blessed I've been to be on this journey. And I think about all the questions that people ask me and this is a question that I haven't really answered. And I know you wonder this. I know you may be thinking about this. And so many people ask me, Trent, how have you been so successful over these last 14 years, even your life? It's like everything you have done, you have accomplished. It seems like everything you put your mind to it happens. And of course, there's pure belief in there. But I want to tell you it's pure energy. What I mean by that, yes, I believe in it so much. I don't believe in failure. I don't believe that this isn't meant for my life. I believe if God put it on my soul, then it must be meant for me. I just got to figure out the process, trust the process, even when the process looks hard, even when the process looks impossible, even when the process looks, let's look favorable. I got to remember that I'm highly favorite. And that's one part of pure energy. And I know you get that. But the other part of pure energy is wanting the best for other people. It's wanting to see everybody around me win, wanting to see strangers win, wanting people to get to their pinnacle, wanting people to live their best life, celebrating people, even strangers that I don't know. That has been the recipe because I understand this law of the world. I understand the law of energy. I understand what you expect to receive. You better give out. But you expect to receive. You better give out. Or a.k.a. You know, love thy neighbor as you love yourself. Treat thy neighbor as you want to be treated. That pure energy. I want to see you win. I want to celebrate your wins because I want to win. I want to see you happy. I want to see you fulfilled because I want that in my life. And so many people make this mistake because they're living an insecurity and I understand insecurity. It's toxic to the soul. I understand insecurity is devastating to the heart. I understand insecurity to please your spirit. But you don't get rid of insecurity by wishing the worst of other people. You don't get rid of that spirit of insecurity by talking down to other people. You don't get rid of that spirit of insecurity by praying for other people's downfall, by cheering for other people's stumbles, by wanting other people to lose. And in your heart, you feel like you're winning because they're losing. I'm telling you, if that's your spirit right now, you're going to live a hard, hard life. You're not going to get what's meant for your life because you're not giving out pure energy. You're not cheering for other people when you want other people to cheer for you. You're not clapping for other people when you want other people to clap for you. You want to celebrate another people when you want other people to celebrate for you. You're letting your insecurities ruin. I get it. There's times in my life where I've been insecure, but I've been able to check myself. I said, "Trent, there's something wrong in your heart, turning it something wrong in your spirit. You've got to check it." I shouldn't feel bitterness when I witness somebody's greatness. I shouldn't feel anger when I witness somebody joy, somebody smile, somebody's peace. Because if I truly want to unlock the things that are meant for my life, I must live in pure energy and give away what I wish to receive. And I know that seems like a simple concept, but most people don't do it. Most people find reasons to tear somebody else down instead of finding reasons to lift themselves up. And let me tell you, you're using energy as if energy isn't expensive. You use energy as if energy comes when an affinity is supplying to your life. And we know first, we know first hand that energy does have a time where it runs out. Your energy isn't always going to be hot. It's some of us listen to this podcast right now. Your energy is like that off-phone battery. You're on 1% like clutching on the life, trying to find the charger. I want to tell you right now, your life's charger is gratitude. Your life's charger is seeing other people win and wishing well for other people. Your life's charger is giving away what you want to keep because you're no longer selfish, but you're helping other people live their best life. Your life's charger. You're not hearing me right now. So you're not hearing me right now. You're like, "Trent, this is too easy. It can't be this easy. Trent, I'm telling you the law of this world is reciprocation, reciprocity. The reason why I've been so blessed because I've helped other people get blessed, not for the applause, not for the shout outs on social media, not for the ego, but I've helped people get blessed that haven't done a thing for me. Might not ever do a thing for me. Nor do I expect them to do a thing for me. I do it because it's in my heart. I do it because I want to see them win. I do it because I'm a seed planner and if I'm truly a seed planner, I'm going to plant seeds in this world, whether it's reciprocated or not. If I'm a seed planner, I'm going to plant seeds in this world because I want to see the harvest of love. I want to see the harvest of peace. I want to see the harvest of greatness because I'm loyal to that. I'm loyal to my principle. Not how other people treat me. And I'm not telling you to be used and abused. I know I feel about that. But some of us, our energy is in pure. Our energy is envy. Our energy is jealousy. And behind the scenes, even if you don't say it, energy is created. Understand, energy comes from the soul, not necessarily your words. So even if you don't say, I'm not happy for you. If your energy says, I'm not happy for you, that's what you're putting out in the world. If your energy says, man, I didn't want to see you win. If your energy says, I didn't want to see your joy. I didn't want to see your peace without saying the word, that's what you're putting out in the world. And you wonder why the reciprocation that comes right back to you when people aren't supporting you, when people aren't happy for you, when people aren't checking in on you, when people aren't wishing the best for you, when people aren't doing et cetera, it's because you're energy ain't right. In that conversation, that work is between you and God and you and yourself. But if you want the medicine to cure your insecurity, it's truly realizing that other people's success has nothing to do with chores. And I just got to be real, which was so many of us, we use our energy to sit here and pick a part, why somebody shouldn't be happy, or why the relationship isn't real, or why this isn't what it is. And you're using the injury to pick a part someone else where you can be using that energy to bring together your dreams, to bring together your greatness, to bring together your life, to bring together your next level, you ain't hearing me right now. Because too many of us were so damn insecure, that we think there's not a room for us all, I see people, I'm in competition with this person and that person, I'm the best, I'm in competition, you're not in competition with anybody, you're in competition with yourself. You should want to see your court, court competition, rise, because if you're truly a competitor by nature, you want them to be the best you, so you can be the best you, so you can be the best them, excuse me. I mean, so if they can be the best them, you can be the best you, and if you're truly competitive, you want them to be their best, so you can show them that you're better. If that's your spirit as an athlete, I don't want to see the person that I want to compete against injured. As an athlete, I want to see that DB, I want to see that person going against me to opposition, be their best, so I can show them that when you're at your best, I'm still better, that's the competitive spirit in me, but when it comes to this life, I'm not competing with you, I'm complimenting you, I'm not competing with you, I want to give a platform to you, I'm not competing with you, I'm collabing with you, and sometimes that collaboration isn't holding hands, sometimes that collaboration isn't signed contracts, sometimes that collaboration isn't partnering, but my energy is collabing with your soul, my energy is collabing with your goals, my energy is collabing with your greatness, and in my soul, I want to see you win, I'm praying for you, even if I haven't said a word to you, when I scroll social mean, I see people on their come up, I don't see them as threats, I don't see all taking away from me, I see another CEO planner, helping me accomplish the goal of having this beautiful harvest in the world of peace, of happiness, of joy, of bliss, of serenity, that's what I see. My peers always ask, Trent, it has to be a catch, why do you give away so much? Because this isn't about Trent Shelton, even though my ego gets in the way, and sometimes my ego says, it's not, it's about me, but then I'm reminded by God, this is bigger than you, you will die, you will wither away, what are you going to leave here that continues to go on? What you leave here, and only way things continue to go on and things create changes, you got to help create the change in other people, as well as yourself, even if that change means they quote unquote surpasses you in the world's hearts, it's not about you versus them, it's not about them versus you, it's about we collectively coming together and making this world a better place, we collectively coming together and fighting for a mission, we collectively coming together and fighting for this vision, I'm telling you, when your energy is pure, you can't lose, reciprocity surrenders to pure energy, it surrenders to put energy, pure energy, what you give out is what will come back to your life, maybe not the same day, maybe not the same minute, maybe not the same year, but it will come back, maybe it comes back to your kids, maybe it comes back to your grandkids, grandkids, see, I'm going to tell you right now, I know my grandmothers live their reciprocity, I know my grandmothers have pure energy, because what's coming to my life can't be explained, what's coming to my life isn't for me, what's coming to my life, yeah, it might be for my mom and dad, but I know there's generations before generations that were living in reciprocity and have pure energy, and now I'm benefit off of this, because now it's coming to my life off of the seas that they planted generations before me, my question to you, are you just living for you, are you living for generations, my question for you, if you have generational trauma in your life, if you want to create generational growth, generational wealth, generational change, it starts with having pure energy here, woo, it starts with having pure energy, I need you to hit me right now in my inbox if you with me, I want you to say Trent, I got pure energy, and I want it to be real for you, you can no longer live this life, saying man, you know, they don't deserve that, you can no longer live this life using your energy to gossip about things you can't control or change anyway, some of you gossip about things that you can't control or change your wasting your time and wasting your life as if time isn't limited, as if energy isn't limited, your charge or isn't gossip, hello, it might make you feel good that they're losing, but guess what, you're still losing, it might make you feel good that they follow them, but guess what, you follow them right with them, it might make you feel good that you're talking about their situation, but guess what, you ain't doing a damn thing to change your situation, I know I'm hitting you on the heart, press and follow if you got to, but this is real talk, man, I'm just keeping it straight up with you, this podcast about being struck, you want some fluff, go listen to somebody else, but I'm telling you real life stuff, the greatest law in this world, one of the greatest laws is reciprocity, I'm going to give out what I wish to receive, if I don't receive it, I know my kids will benefit off of it, I know my grandkids will benefit off of it, I know things that surround my life will benefit off of it, but the curative insecurity isn't drama, the curative insecurity isn't tearing people down, the curative insecurity isn't getting your happiness off somebody unhappiness, the curative insecurity isn't wishing to worsen other people, you might say Trent, I don't do that, check your spirit, when you open up your phone on social media and you see somebody, you just scroll past them real quick, because you don't want to see anything that shows them winning because you think that's your competition, and the thing about it is you can't stop them anyway, even if you try to, because it's not about you, what God has ordained can nobody get in the way of that, so your best option is to celebrate them too, because you got your season coming, your season is coming, but your season will never come if you're not happy for people in their season, your season will never come if you're not happy for people in their season, you might be single, you might be saying, oh, they marry, oh, they're going to fall apart, they're going to get divorced, they don't even like each other anyway, your season will never come, and if it does come, don't expect any happy soul to be happy for you and don't complain about it because that was your bitter spirit to other people, bitter spirits don't create better for your life, straight on, but if you look back and say, man, I'm happy for them, I wish the best for them, even when they're going through their turmoil, even if people might say it's not real or not right, I want the best for them, I pray for their happiness, I pray for their joy and their peace, I pray for them because your season is coming and what you give out, you better believe is what you are going to get back, you might be thinking, Trent, have you always had a pure energy spirit? No, there's times in my insecurity when I was losing in life when I was depressed, there's times now where I'm scrolling and I'm like, man, and I feel a little bit of bitter spirit in my soul, just a little bit, and I check myself, I check myself, and I said, ego die, pure energy rise, ego die, because when your ego dies, your peace will rise, and I want to reiterate something, it's not just about words again, I want you to hear this part, it's not just about words, or it's not just about what you say or talk about, it's your spirit, and only you know your spirit, you can talk on the phone with that person, you can celebrate that person publicly, but if your spirit isn't celebrating that person, don't expect to receive a celebration in your life, so I need you to do the necessary work on yourself, I need you to heal yourself, maybe it's past trauma, maybe it's thing that you went through as a kid, maybe it's done happiness and other people try to put on your life when you're happy, and now you adopted that, isn't a crazy how we become the same things that we used to hate, we become the same pain that we didn't want in our life, and we started reciprocating that pain to other people, the things we used to talk about and complain about, now we become that and we give to other people, I want you to take a step back today, but I really want you to reevaluate your spirit, don't you say, oh that's not me, Trump good, it's probably not you, it probably is your excuse me, if you can just jump to that real quick, that's probably you living in avoidance, and avoidance doesn't create change, it delays the change that you need in your life, you see it's about facing your reality, if the reality is your spirit is better, it's okay, it doesn't make you a bad person, hell, if people would have went through what you went through, their spirit would be just the same, but I want you to find happiness in whatever it is that wherever it is that you are right now in your life, I want you to find happiness within yourself and I want you to celebrate other people, I want you to put other people not on the pedestal but on the platform, lift them up, cheer them on, root form because that same energy will come back to you in some form, they might not give it to you, but it will come back to you and I can truthfully say y'all as we wrap up this episode, this is one of the cornerstones to my success, just keeping it in a thousand with you, I've helped people that are quote unquote my competition, I don't have competition, I don't say it in a cocky way, I say it in the real way, I don't want to compete with you, I want to grow with you, I want to champion y'all, I want to help you, I want to give that to you because again, I'm loyal to the harvest, not the present moment, I'm loyal to the harvest as a seed planner, I'm loyal to what grows once I leave, I'm loyal to impact, and if I know you can impact more than I can, why would I give you a platform or give you an opportunity or send people your away, unless I'm insecure about myself, the strongest people I feel like don't compete and don't take that out of context, I feel like the strongest people don't compete, they collab and not in the partnership way all the time, but in the energy way, in a spirit way, so I want to tell you to take a long hard look at your life, a long hard look at yourself, and this isn't an overnight process, but it's a process that's worth paying attention to, worth doing, because truthfully, it can change your life in the most simple as way, you know, there's a lot of people in this world that work way harder than me, but one of my secrets to quote unquote my successes, this is having pure energy, and wanting to see the best in other people, even if it doesn't mean I've been if it all of that best, because when you have a heart, that's pure, not perfect, that's pure, you can't lose, you can't lose, I love you, I appreciate you, and I know this might have been a hard podcast to listen to, you know, I might have stepped on your toes a bit, but good, because you know this is pure energy, and how much I care about you, and I appreciate you, but if you've been using words like all they suck, they ain't good, or they ain't like this, or they hide, and all of that stuff, when you know that's not the truth, you are allowing your insecurities to dominate your spirit, and I don't believe that you are meant to live like that, I don't believe that you are meant to be guided by your insecurities, I believe that you are meant to be led by your pure heart, and sometimes we gotta unwrap some things that's made our heart hard, that's made our heart, with bad intentions that made our heart so combative, and rightfully so, because life has a way of doing that, even with myself, but we go on this journey of finding pure peace, pure energy, and you start getting back to the core of that pure heart, the smiles start to come back in your life, but the more you're trying to keep up with other people, trying to keep up with other people, trying to keep up with other people's happiness, trying to keep up with other people's social media, trying to keep up and do everything, because it's not pure to you, but because you feel like you gotta compete with those people, you will always lose because you're losing yourself, now if it's real for you, salute, but only you know that, get back to the core of you, get back to the essence of you, because that's the true you, as kids, and I'll tell this story as we leave, my kids just got back from a Disney cruise, and I wasn't able to go, but Maria would FaceTime me, and she would be blown away, because she was like Trent, like the energy is so pure, like our girls are making friends, they have a crew, and like they're cheering each other on, and they want each other to win, and it's just so cute to see, she's like the adults here are kind of standoffish, she's a lot of creators, and a lot of influencers, and some of her standoffish, and don't act like they want to talk, and you know they're filling themselves, and that's a part of insecurity, that's a part of I'm really not happy in my life, so I gotta put up this front as if I'm the SHIT in life, that's insecurity speaking, that's insecurity ruling the spirit, that's a cover up for depression, a cover up for stress, a cover up for in happiness, and I get fired up about this, because so many people we lose ourselves for that, we lose ourselves to make people think of something, to make people think we're a certain image, we have to portray, because we want people to think a certain way about us, and we lose ourselves, so we gotta feel like we're the SHIT, because we think people think that about us, and so we have to be that, even though we know in our spirit, that's not us, we forget where we came from, we forget who we truly are, and we disconnect, but she was like, man, to see these kids that was so beautiful, of course they're kids, they go through different emotions, but they don't judge, they just collab, they don't judge, they just hug each other, they don't judge, they just celebrate each other, even in the games, they're cheering each other on, and the adults are just standing there, you see, as kids, of course we have our combative nature, of course we have this as mine, especially babies in the family, but the true heart of a child, the true spirit of a child is pure energy, pure love, it's, I don't know where you're from, I don't know what you've been through, but you're another heart that I want to spend time with, I'm not judging you, I'm just happy for you, I'm happy that we can spend time together, I'm happy that we can share energy, I'm happy that we can have this experience of life and this moment together, without any judgment, without any criticism, without any pre-judgment, we just do, we just be, because we just are, and I said, wow, what if as adults, and I know it's almost impossible to even happen, but what if adults we got back to that, we got back to that, that child-like pure energy spirit, where it's just, we're doing this thing called life together, and I just want to see you in, yeah, it's probably some wishful thinking, but I'm going to do my best to keep working through this heart and heart of mine to get back to that pure place in my life, because everything else makes life too damn hard, too damn hard, I want to get back to making life easy, well I appreciate you for rocking with me this long, hopefully it touched your heart in some way, if it did feel free to share this with somebody, always grateful, if you share this on social media, tag me @TrendShelten the podcast pages @TrendShelten podcast, we definitely repost the stories on the TrendShelten podcast, even my page @TrendShelten, and I always say, sometimes the best stories are the ones that you actually can hear my voice and you're listening or maybe you're walking, so I might tell you how to be creative, but that's always cool, and I love sharing stories like that, so I'll see you next week, until then, it all starts with you, it's rehab time, let's get it.