Barry Rothbart Meets The Whiskey Ginger Ghost 👻 | Whiskey Ginger

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So if you like hockey, laughs, and hearing how players really see the game, you are in the right place. Let's get into it. At Edward Jones, we believe rich is more than caring about the latest and greatest. It's also taking care of what gives your life meaning. That's why your dedicated financial advisor meets you where you are, with personalized financial strategies that help protect what matters, so you can preserve your progress while creating. The key to being rich is knowing what counts. Let's find your rich together. Edward Jones, member SIPC. Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series. Hello, Whiskey Ginger fans. I'm jumping around a little bit. Bad friends, Bobby Lee and I, are going to be playing Thunder Valley Casino in Lincoln, California, which is basically Sacramento. Come on out and see us. Then I'm at the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas. Beautiful Las Vegas. Viva Las Vegas. Come see me at the Wynn March 21st to 27th. I'm going to play the Little Roadie Fest out there. I'm going to be playing the Little Roadie Fest out there. So at that point, I was like, why am I even fucking doing this? Was it like a punk type series? It was a hidden camera show. Yeah, yeah. It was a hidden camera show, but it was from the perspective of Al. Like, it was a lot of like, he wanted to do only pranks in the hood. Like, he was like, we're not pranking white people. Yeah. He's like, we are only going to prank people in the hood. And now that's the biggest thing on social media. Isn't that the funny? He was way ahead of the curve. He was, yeah. He really was. He did a bit. Well, he's like, if we're going to fuck with white people, we're fucking with them bad. So we went to Beverly Hills. Or Bel-Air. And we did a bit called Gangster Gardener, where he showed up with a bunch of like, jacked up, tatted up dudes. And they just started doing your lawn. And they would come out and be like, get off. Get the fuck out of here. And he'd be like, no, no, you always. I mean, he did hedges. And he gave them a detailed list of what they did. Wait, they just walked up to other people that didn't. They just walked up to a lawn in Beverly Hills and started doing it. Gangster Gardener. He's like, if we. Because he was like, if we're going to fuck with white people, I'm going to make them uncomfortable about, like, service. Because then you can get them an actual physical, you know, that was. That's kind of the world we started learning. Was like the, you did this. No, you didn't. That never worked. But the physical was always great. Like, a guy would run out. And he was like, digging. They were digging a hole. Planting a fucking tree. And the guy was fighting him on putting the tree in. And I was like, well, this is great. And Comedy Central was like, this is Lawsuit Central. Like, it was just. They hated every second of it. So then by the time I got to Punk Truly, I was like, if they fire me, fine. I was, I was fucking. I was miserable. You were like, that's it for my career. I got. I did. - I didn't, yeah, I hit the ceiling. I just didn't give a fuck. because i thought well this it just felt so like uh and also that you remember it was not it was a crazy writer's room fucking insane it was insane and then like miley cyrus would show up and like christ was just like you know i don't want to say it but yeah it was nuts it was crazy it was and it was it was very alpha it was like very oh yeah like you really had to get your pitch in it was impossible it was impossible and i was just like i made it like this is huge yeah and i remember yeah i remember you were hilarious and adam lustic adam lustic one of the funniest guys alive i just saw like a week ago really yeah his kid knows my kid and we're like we both live in pasadena well his his house was messed up in the fires and stuff oh yeah that's right yeah but um you did that by the way that wasn't the fires it was you you did you just burnt down his my fires right yeah he it was messed up in the rock hard fire yeah yeah that's a much smaller yeah just his house um i yeah so what happened was i did five episodes of punked with you and this was it was funny because like when i auditioned the audition was amazing i don't know if you remember how fun it was oh it was a lot of people it was like that was my nightmare because everyone auditioned for it at the time but you basically just go into a room with some other actor and they're just like just improv yeah there was nothing it was literally just like just yeah do something there was no set there was no like scene there was no set rules so then it was really playing to some people's ultimate strengths yours in particular because you can fly some people really kind of you let me go bro yep open the gate that's what i used to call it on set open the gate open the gates let him go but you really it does play to some people's strength but i did see a lot of improvers that would come and they would get eaten alive because they wanted way more structure and the show is kind of oddly unstructured it was very much this is the bit but if you didn't figure out a way to like rogue set up your own little world inside of you it was never you were just going to be lost on camera you also can't have a sense of humility in that show like you really have to like be able i remember the advice because i was so nervous the first time when we we did what was the first bit the first bit we did was it actually was ruined it was at this cafe where a car was going to drive into it yes with uh who was it and the cafe was in los feliz right i think it was um what's his name dyrdek i think we were pranking dyrdek and i was supposed to be like the manager of the cafe and i was supposed to be like the manager of the cafe who's like you got to pay for that like the whole bit was someone just randomly drives in with his car like the ballet guy yeah it was his and i was like i was like you got to pay for that right now it's like 100 grand or whatever right and i was so fucking nervous and i remember uh goldberg jason goldberg he was just like don't be nervous because what you have to understand is no one is thinking about you being weird everyone's thinking about themselves all day yeah like no one goes into a restaurant right and then immediately that's what happened he was just like rob dyrdek was like immediately he was just like this isn't real right and it was ruined and then they quickly had to be like what celebrity is nearby and they got i think sean kingston that's right who i think was arrested not too long ago for some crazy shit wait really yeah sean kingston the rapper right yeah yeah the same guy and they got him and we did it and it was fine but it was it was very nerve-wracking and it was a lot of fun and it was a lot of fun and it was a lot of nerve-wracking and i also was like in this high because i just like got new faces jfl which was like when you got new faces at that time in our careers it was just like didn't you also do the same year or the tonight show yeah yeah right you had like three things in a row and i i got an agent for the first time right after booking punked and it was icm and the golden they don't exist anymore you were the golden boy i was the golden boy and they put out a uh a deadline article that i signed with them which is crazy that's funny when they do that isn't that fucking crazy weird and deadline articles if if people don't know who aren't in this business are the only reason you get into this business is deadline you get an article they're so fucking great it's just like everybody's like you get a deadline article man i'd rather get that than the paycheck um but we yeah so i got they announced it and they said i was on punked in deadline mid mid shooting the season and i got a call like that day from the punk producers they were like we gotta fire you because everyone's gonna know you're that's right a cast member and you're gonna it's gonna it's gonna fuck up every bit and i got fired what a fucking terrible move yeah why did they and i stayed with that agent yeah stayed with them for some reason in some weird way in my head i was like now they owe me it is interesting to think it's more it is they didn't need to fire you because i don't think you were famous enough then also wasn't like amazing on the show i don't think well nobody really was the show was really tough to do it was hard but i just mean like they didn't need to fire you but at the same time uh the thought of the agent getting off them they that was just them getting off saying they signed you so bad they needed it that bad yes and they it's that's that and honestly if you if you told an agent you'd be like i should i should take away your money but you're like you should get no commission and then in their mind they'd be like what do you mean this is a celebration there is this thing i don't know if you have this with agents where there's a point where you're like well now they're going to be on my side like something will happen and you're like well now they're now they're working for me correct and i was like yeah they they screwed up my my life now they'll fix it now they're gonna get me something else and they never did um but yeah it was crazy yeah i guess they they didn't have to but i could see them being like yeah like agents being like hey look out for this guy you're gonna get punked but that was a crazy season man that was like but that is i feel like everyone was so mad it was just like a strange vibe it was an unfortunate it was more stressful than fun i remember like most nights feeling anxious and stressed and also bummed if like we shot something and it didn't go well i would just go home at night and be really fucking bummed like like it just would fuck you up if you didn't you know what i mean it's not like a day on set if you had kind of a shitty day shooting a tv show or shooting something you're like i just wasn't as good today as i want to be but it could you get over it pretty fast yeah with that show it would like sat with me for days because i would think about so good on it you're the only thing that was good on that show well that's nice it was just i can't you haven't been good since thank you i think trust me you were great on the business agrees have you seen ricky's the nicky what happened to sean kingston by the way now i'm like crazy he was arrested at fort irwin u.s army training base performing a show based on a florida warrant for numerous fraud and theft charges his mother was also arrested three hours earlier at their florida book them dan when your mother gets arrested yeah that's so disgusting book your mom because he probably fraud case both well because he probably bought the house that she lives in is probably under his name and it's probably dirty money yeah they were sentenced to three years oh they're in jail together yeah yeah they both got killed in prison right just start fake rumors john kingston he's singing to his mom at night in prison is kind of sweet though you're so beautiful girl at night i just yeah we don't have to say i'm punk but the last time i was like oh that's the ghost oh fuck that's good i mean no that means he likes you oh good and that's the ghost means he likes you of sean kingston there there see if he fucks with the lights that means he likes you i'm not kidding there's a ghost that does this okay it's morse code bear be berry can book something something in 20 35 that's a long time away for a gig yeah is this gonna keep doing this now yeah that's crazy what is that in here we pour whiskey this episode of whiskey ginger is brought to you by squarespace squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or you're scaling your business squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain showcase your offerings with a professional website grow your brand and get paid all in one place i've 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squarespace.com slash whiskey what's the code it's whiskey to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain ginger i like gingers and we're back hey and we're and we're where were we back getting off of the the world of punkata it was a it was a strange time in our i got punched in the neck by nick cannon's friend i like that part yeah yeah and i remember them being like keep going keep going i was like i can't breathe they were like keep going yeah dude punched me in the neck his security guard or something no it was it was one of the people who was being like it was a rap group he was managing or something do you remember it was a sex party in a warehouse yeah yeah in a running around well we wanted we wanted somehow to get adam lustick to run naked through a scene because adam is has a he's a beautiful beautiful bald man who's very skinny with a he's well endowed and it was like who doesn't want to see that guy huge dick he's a massive cop how is that possible God loves some people more than others I feel like and he's got a good heart and he wears it well he wears it very well but he has a big wiener and we thought I don't know who pitched it I'm sure it was Christ or one of us that was like you gotta have this guy like a crazy party in Hollywood run through butt naked there were so many sketches early on in my career and so many things where I was like this would be so much funnier if I was naked it was just being naked it was so funny I was naked in so much shit there was a naked show in New York do you remember you never did stand up in New York no no no only when I came only when I would go to do shows there was a naked show where the audience and the comics are both naked oh see that's fair I like that if you're both naked you don't have to be naked but a lot of people would come so it was nudists for some reason nudists are never attractive I don't know why like people who are really into nudity but it was like this is a bit I should work on yeah but why are they not I don't know because everything I've seen nudists they all seem like very well to do people very nice and sweet but they're never attractive never why is what would it be you think because attractive people I think if you're attractive it's like it's too high value yeah it's almost like a gift to see me naked yeah right and nudists are like this is a fucking push this is a push and they're all hairless we don't know I think that the nudists the nudity of a hot person is more high value but this so this show you go to is nude audience nude comic nude comics and I would you would do a set you just do stand up ten minutes I did I did an hour no yeah it was like ten minutes it was just like you just yeah you do a set are you not self conscious of your penis I mean like look I'm sure you have a regular penis but like no you'd be surprised oh you got a nice beef no no no not nice oh but so then you care less I feel like you may care less if your penis is not sometimes I feel like if people have like are well endowed unlike Adam I think they they're a little more embarrassed about it which is odd really yeah I haven't found that yeah kind of like they don't want to show it off maybe it feels like it's like I don't that's not a but little penis guys always want to show it it's not little like Bobby always wants to show it it's not little well his isn't either it's average I really you know little no little it's little yeah it's little the grower not a shower thing is very real I don't know if that's like yeah it's weird in like you know in your locker room settings when you're not hard well you gotta grow most of the time I gotta grow so I would be like you know trying to jack off a little backstage you know I would go in there yeah yeah there's some comics I'm not gonna name names who have unbelievable dicks just the oh well that's a great compliment I'd love to know who has a nice cock yeah I don't know I didn't want to say it yeah I get it you know and then there were women comics on the show or this is just another all white male show no no no women and they were butt naked butt naked yeah this was a huge I don't know if it's still going on but yeah what was it called it was a big deal the naked show and who ran it do you remember some nudist guy who just was like who wasn't a comic no he wasn't even a comic at a bar he was terrible he had the smallest dick I've ever seen ever in my life it must be crazy having a micro penis right we talked about that once before I didn't believe it was real yeah I almost think it's a it's a it's lore but he this man probably had just had a small penis right well he was fat if you're fat sucks it kind of doesn't count yeah I heard you can gain 3 inches per 10 pounds of weight you lose well that's I don't know if that's true well get back in the gym you know yeah yeah yeah it sounds like a reason for me to get back in the gym anyway the craziest naked thing was I got hired this was before I was like even in LA I was just starting in comedy and I got hired to I was a videographer for a while before in New York in New York and I got hired to shoot a 50 plus gay nudist comedy commercial a commercial for the colony yeah an hour well not even a commercial it was like an informational video where I had to stay there for two weeks where was this in the Poconos oh nice well I was like well someone because I had an ad on Craigslist or whatever like just being like yeah I'll shoot whatever I got a camera you know I'll shoot anything I'll shoot anything I'll edit anything I was like I got fucking I got a computer whatever you need man and I got an email from this weird email address I think it was like nude Yorker or something and they were like we run a 50 plus nudist colony and we want someone to come stay with us for two weeks gay nudist colony all male and we want someone to come stay with us for two weeks and just shoot everything and just you know video literally document their life document the entire retreat it was just a retreat oh okay okay it was like a camp it was like summer camp for older guys naked gay and I went I was like you know I'm just letting you know I'm not gay like is that okay sure you're not just bring your camera they were like that's preferable and I was like okay why would that be preferable well you're about to find out oh okay and so I went with this other guy who I would shoot stuff with and we got there and we were clothed and it's crazy it's shocking to see that many naked people in one place it's a fucking 50 naked guys yeah it's heavy it's like seeing a dinosaur somewhere like you're just like how is this fucking possible like your eyes are like like that many older naked people yeah there was 500 people there oh shit I thought you said 50 500 50 plus god they were all older than 50 years old and they were like oh you have to be naked too the whole time no I don't and I was like I don't really want to and then they were like trust me you're gonna wanna and I started I started walking around fully clothed and being the only fully clothed person just felt so strange so I was like I'm gonna try it I'm gonna try being naked and I was naked and I spent the rest of the time naked and it was the best two weeks of my fucking life a lot of people propositioning me yeah of course and it confirmed to me that I wasn't gay because you know you always have these doubts you're like would I like there was times where I would be taken to like the back of like a cabin by some like everyone was very friendly very friendly sure they were handsome man yeah and he honestly he was like do you wanna like fool around and do something like just no one around no one around and I was just like no I kinda just wanna talk and I would just talk to these naked guys it was the most beautiful experience and then they have a talent show on the last day and they were like we heard you're a comic and I was like yeah and they were like do you wanna do stand up and I was like yes I do and I did 20 minutes of stand up at their talent show naked in front of 500 people completely naked yeah and it was the greatest thing ever that is rad yeah a guy named bear man yeah oh we know we know bear man yeah you know bear man we know bear man so many cock rings too at these places you just love cock rings or piercings rings like the that keep your dick hard oh so they stay so these guys are hard the whole time they're at least half way wow did you ever get hard while you're filming no no I didn't get hard for a month after it would be fun to take like a blue chew and just be hard while you're filming just dick up all day long so many people were walking around hard there was some one of the guys who ran the camp were like don't go to this section of the camp ever right that's not for you because they were like that's where some scary stuff happens and I was like what and they were like you know it's just like people are fucking like constantly at this part of the camp there's a couple guys that have never left but yeah people walk around with boners like full boners wow I felt great I honestly was like I kind of get it what's weird about nudity is it kind of just takes away all pretense sure from your life like it takes away class like you don't know who's rich who's not yeah it takes away a lot of like it kind of puts people on the same level and I kind of got disappointed when I had to put my clothes back on right it's a lot easier to leave the house like we had our cabin and it was like I don't have to think about what the fuck I'm going to throw on this is actually an interesting perspective people wearing shoes obviously yes because footwear well what was scary was if it rained people would just wear top no bottom and that's a whole different kind of naked the yogi bear somehow it's more naked when you're just clothed on the top and not the bottom than it is being fully naked it's the Winnie the Pooh I mean that's the Winnie the Pooh yeah that's the Winnie the Pooh just a shirt on top with a dick out yeah yeah yeah because the shoes but shoes yeah you wear shoes you have to because you can you're walking around camp yeah right yeah it is funny this is a there's something in the my brain immediately went to when you said you don't you can't tell class I was like that's really interesting it is funny in society I think it should be the richer you get the more naked you have to be in our society oh I love that idea like wouldn't that be nice to see these fucking egregious like billionaires and they must be nude at all times like they they cannot wear clothes it is it is against the law after a certain tax bracket for you to wear clothes yeah I wonder what that would do to the world of wealth that's like you have to be naked people wouldn't want to be wealthy I know isn't that interesting you have to be naked at all times you would purposely not yeah do something do certain things because you're like I don't want to you just get certain surgeries and shit though you know like you'd get because you but you see some of these like billionaires on the list and or like you see these like extremely globally wealthy people and they always look like that one guy that yells at people on TikTok who has glasses bald that little short fat guy what's that fucking guy he's like you can't fucking that he's like screaming all the time my pillow guy no no there's like a little like a he's like a motivational speaker and every other word out of his mouth is a cuss word but I know "Oh, he's a little pudgy fuck under all those clothes." - Yeah. - And I'm like, be so funny to make you be naked got a little dick i feel like elon yeah you've seen it right yeah yeah i'm trying to remember what it felt like that musk cock you could tell you could tell elon musk has a small penis based on the rockets he builds oh yeah rockets are purely a phallic huge dream that's like such a cyber trucks yeah well the cyber truck was a big it was a prank that that actually like worked on america he i think he drew that i no no i seriously i think that the joke was like he drew like some quick concepts and that became the car that's so funny which is such a fuck you to people to design engineering like all the it's illegal you know it's illegal the cyber truck's illegal in france uh my my my friends were over at my house this past week and she's french and she's from france she's like it's illegal i was like what do you mean it's illegal there she's like it's too sharp like the french government was like it's far too sharp sharp well yeah like physically sharp yes like the angles are dangerous oh like if a toddler falls on it well if any if it bumped into somebody it would get could it could cause more harm than a regular car yeah which i think is very french and very no that's that's how it's gonna harm you it's too sharp if it hits you yeah they just i just i yeah i like the idea that they're using that as a as a loophole to be like no we can't have those in this fucking country i learned i dated a french girl for a while and i learned they have a lot of crazy like you can't they have a whole list of names you can't give kids it's illegal like you can't name a kid hitler you can't name a kid you know cocksucker or whatever it is like you can't here you could name a kid any literally anything why could louis ck had a good bit about this about what name a kid he's like you could literally name a kid 50 f's in a row yeah it was like a bit he did yeah yeah yeah i remember yeah ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen yeah classic but there are illegal u.s uh names what are they not illegal yeah what because they're considered titles religiously offensive or impractical like king impractical jesus christ messiah adolf hitler the at symbol 1069 oh shit what's 1069 i don't know that's just the i'm gonna name my next kid 67 10 10 68 10 69 banned name jesus christ you've banned but however that's that's really manipulative because you could name your your kids jesus is an extremely common name and your his middle name could be christ i think you're on a fake news site yeah you're on fake news i was looking at true social it says it's banned in a 1069 is banned in places like north dakota minnesota and california because it consists solely of numbers which can cause confusion and legal and administration systems just that number i don't know why then maybe that's just maybe that's just the fall some sort of penal code or some bullshit need fast hydration for the summer heat hydrate your winds with the new liquid iv sugar-free ring pop cherry it's the classic cherry ring pop flavor you grew up loving reimagined as a zero sugar hydration mix that's clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone whether you're spending the day in the heat recovering after a workout or just looking for an easy afternoon pick-me-up liquid iv makes hydration simple and delicious shop liquidiv.com save with their buy three get one free offer and use promo code pod 26 that's pod 26 at edward jones we believe rich is about taking care of what gives your life meaning that's why your financial advisor personalizes your plan to help you preserve your and create something that lasts let's find your rich edward jones member sipc this episode is brought to you by paypal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manage your account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step download the new paypal app to get started see paypal.com slash protection terms what was i gonna say there's gonna be kids named 67 my daughter's six and she's she knows 67 already as a thing do you know about 67 67 you mean 67 yeah that's okay i know your daughter's six she's six and she knows that she knows it are you gonna have more kids or that's it i think that's it because if you did have another kid would you want to have another girl or a boy i'd want another girl i don't want a boy yeah isn't that boys suck boys are dog every friend she has that's a boy i'm just like i actually don't like any kids besides her well yeah that makes sense some people like kids after they have kids they're like i like kids i just don't like i think most of my friends with kids only like their kids yeah and they hate other kids because their kids play with other kids and they're like i fucking can't stand those cannot stand them it was the opposite when i got a dog i was like i love all dogs well that's me yeah right i love every single dog every single dog hate everything i hate kids so much more now that i have a kid well that that does line up because you they're closer to you now now you like see if she has a friend over you're like awful price i can't stand that fucking awful and i think he's gonna have little fucking boners and be sticking them everywhere it's like i can't have that that's disgusting it is funny to say i do love all dogs because of my dog i've actually i'll say this i love dogs i love certain breeds now i like certain breeds now that i didn't really like before i was a breedist there were certain breeds of dogs i'm like i don't fuck i can't stand that dog i i always was yucked out it's a it's a ocd thing i'm grossed out by like bulldogs because they drooly oh you have like an ocd like a germ thing oh yeah yeah really yeah i didn't know that that stuff grosses me the fuck out yeah but not like like howie mandel level no no no no no no no no no or like trump level you know no no it's pretty like trying it's like trump it's like trump no what's trump's does he is he ocd crazy he won't shake people's hands unless it's like he has to yeah i'm i'm i'm split on this because i do understand i don't love touching people like i would love to hug you i know you yeah like strangers huggy touchy all the time ah that that i'm hate it well okay so that i'm kind of like i hate being touched especially after shows yeah i don't want to touch so that's the little weird to me like when i used to say hi to fans and stuff a lot of times i'd be like hey hey thank you for coming thank you but a lot of people want to shake out of respect but it's like i don't want to shake everyone's hand because that's an ocd weirdo germy thing where it's like i'm on the road now i i'm more likely to get sick if i shake every one of your fucking hands i'm gonna get sick you know what i mean like boy i was just thinking about how bobby would just tongue he tongue kiss people yeah he said tongue kiss people yeah i don't even shake hands i mean i would do yeah i would do yeah yeah he tongue kiss people and he'd get really sick a lot he gets sick all the time but that was my thing is like if i was on the road everyone wanted to shake your hand after the show and i would do it but then subconsciously i'm like well i'm gonna be sick next week in florida for sure shake your hand i people for some reason feel like they have like physical ownership over you that's a little after show where they like put their arm around you and shit or grab you does that happen to you oh yeah you're a little scarier than i am yeah well we're you but you're they don't know how scary you really are no one knows yeah you're fucking yeah i know the little i know the basement my daughter knows yeah um daddy go back downstairs no but you come off more intimidating i feel like people say that sometimes yeah but then when the fans meet me they i think they start to change their tune actually the first thing they say is where's bobby and you're taller than i thought that's like the second everyone says that everywhere i fucking go taller than they thought because on the show it's behind the scenes it's behind a desk and so they don't know bobby and i look like we're the same height but then when we're next to each other he's five one and a half or what is he four nine or yeah he's just over five feet four nine no he's what is he what is he really five four isn't it five three five three four nine is such a funny height i wish he was i'm not you know if that's like uh if you're you know a normal person and i don't want to you know what i mean like if that's your if that's your ailment i'm not right it's fine but if you're a normal person who's four nine it's just such a crazy height it's a funny number just say five foot no one's gonna check that you know i might you pull out the tape well there's like a little girl there's like a tlc always runs these shows there's like a woman who has a she has a kind of um uh like a pituitary gland thing where she looks like a woman but she's perfectly little do you know what i'm talking about she's not a little person she's not an lp portions is what you're talking about yes her proportions i don't know how to describe it but then that she's dating this guy tiny of course she's dating this like six two handsome guy and the internet is like this this guy's a pedo lock him up and you're like no she's 30 you know what i mean like are you talking about shauna ray shauna ray that's exactly who i'm talking about i don't know why are you saying perfectly little woman just got me she's a perfectly little woman she just looks like a tinier version of one of us i know what you're saying yeah it's such a crazy it's crazy to be like that that is her you know i think tom cruise is five foot three don't talk about the lights will go back out again yeah he owns this entire time tom cruise and michael j fox is also a really crazy short like shorter than you would think i what i was gonna say is that you're in great you're in better shape than i would assume i always think that when i see you yeah i'm like he's in good shape yeah i don't know why i wouldn't assume you were in great shape but yeah since you've known me i've always i've had moments of getting uh uh chubbier uh when i did shows like that like after i came off punked and starting doing my that first sitcom i did eating like shit drinking and eating it was more than the jim carrey one no no no it was the the mixology abc show mixology yeah i tested on that i was miserable on that show that was such a crazy man those pilot seasons back then i was just like i think that's a part of it the pressure was insane and you felt like you needed to get your fucking bit in because you were like i'm never gonna be on tv again if i don't get this thing again and i and i gotta show off otherwise they'll never want me back and i if that those are so much money where it's like it feels like Workshows are an amount of money where you're just like, it's almost like an intimidating amount of money that you're like, Especially, they're like, you could hit the lotto with us, and we're going to give you the numbers to put the lotto on. So you're like, so I can win. They're like, you can, but you got to be good. You know, you have to, like, play their little game. Mixology was one night, right? It was like the whole season was one night. Yeah. So crazy. So stupid. It's like The Pit, but it was a comedy. It was a comedy at a bar in New York, and it was supposed to be shot in New York, and then the guys decided they wanted to shoot it in L.A. It was the guys that wrote The Hangover. The original draft of The Hangover. I remember that. Yeah, John and Scott. Which was crazy. Because I remember when they sold it to me, like, when my agent was like, you got to go out for this thing. And I read a little bit of it, and I was like, oh, this is kind of interesting. And then he was like, it's the guys that wrote The Hangover. And I was like, wait, didn't, I thought The Hangover was written by Todd Phillips. And they're like, no, Todd directed it. And I was like, but I think it says he wrote it. And they're like, yeah, they wrote the original draft, and then he took it, redid it. That happens all the time. Made it his own. Yeah. Because I remember saying when they were like, they wrote The Hangover, I was like, no, they didn't. I don't think they did. But they did. And, you know, didn't need to do anything ever again for the rest of time. That, yeah, that movie must have made. And then the sequels. Wasn't it the highest grossing comedy in history? The Hangover 1? Well, its budget was $35 million, and its box office was $469.3 million. Half a billion dollars for a comedy is, not only is it unheard of, it'll never happen again. We'll literally never, ever see a comedy make the $50 million. And not really an action comedy, either. Like, action comedies do really well. Well, I mean, the Tyson stuff, like, those stuff is not action, but it's hard R comedy. Yeah, yeah, hard R comedy. What? The highest grossing comedy of all time came out in, technically, the highest grossing comedy of all time came out in 2023. What was that? I bet you can guess. 2023? What was the biggest movie of 2023? It's two years ago. This isn't a Marvel movie, right? No, sir. No. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa. That's a good question. The highest grossing comedy of 2023. Oh, Minions. Minions. No. Live action. Live action. Live action. Moonlight. I don't know. La La Land. No, that was 2018 or whatever. Yeah, like, I don't know what years are. This is $1.4 billion gross. Holy fuck. Ghostbusters. Jumanji. You're going to feel so dumb when you hear what it is. Give it to us. Barbie. Oh, that's not. Come on. No. That's what I mean. That was not a hard R. Number one, Barbie. Number two, Deadpool, Wolverine. Number three, Hi, Mom, a Chinese comedy film grossed $841 million in 2021. Oh, that's not true. That's the Chinese government said that. That's surprising. I mean, it's not that surprising. But Barbie was huge. Number nine is Hangover Part 3. So Hangover Part 3 was the highest grossing. Number nine? Yep. Wow. Of all time. Bridesmaids must have done well. $586 million. Yeah. God, that's crazy. Yeah, those guys never have to do anything ever. But that will never happen again. Like, that is a fear of. When will comedy go back to the theater? It's kind of a bummer. Like, that Keanu Reeves, Seth Rogen thing, it tanks so fucking bad, and you're like. I don't even know what that is. I know. That's what's really sad. Like, it's supposed to. It's like a. He's like. Keanu's like an angel. Oh, God. You know, whatever. Yeah, yeah. But Seth, Keanu. Who else was in it? Aziz. Aziz and someone else. But what it is. Oh, Aziz directed it. Oh, he did? Yeah. Who would it make? I mean, that was one of those where you're like, okay, this is back to like a. It was his big directorial. Directorial debut or something. He never directed his show? That Master of None? No, I think he did do his show, too. No, Feature, right? Oh, yeah. Well, movie. But that's kind of the bummer about that, that I'm like, I'm begging so bad for fun comedies to try to sneak back in. Budget was 30 mil so far. Box office is 13 mil. 13. But also, it just came out recently. It came out three weeks ago. Yeah, that's a low number. It's only the 27th. I don't know if we want to date this, but it's only been like two weeks. Well, yeah, no one goes to theaters unless it's like a huge event. Don't you go? I still go. I go. Oh, yeah, but we're not like anyone else. I know. That's also true because we're embedded in this bullshit. We're so different. We're not like you. But also, this has happened. U.S. theater attendance used to be three times a week on average in like the 1920s, so it's been going down consistently ever since. Yeah, that's why AMC is like, yeah, just go. See whatever movie you want for free. Are you an A-lister? No. Isn't that funny? I've never joined after all these years. That's like my dad in me. That's fantastic. That's like, it's got to be a scam. Like my dad never signed up for anything. I thought it was a scam. Yeah, yeah. But it's probably giving you way more value. It's probably getting to go. Oh, yeah. It's incredible. But AMC likes me more. And they treat you like you're like a whale in Vegas. Like they're like, you go to this line. I always say I'm an A-lister to everybody. They comp you a room? Would you like the AMC Sweetsmith at Rothbart? They're like, your popcorn's free? I'm like, how? They're like, no, it's just free. Is it really? Yeah. So the snacks are all free? They just like spring these gifts on you. They're just like, you want a free candy? I'm like, yeah. And they just give me a free candy. Because wasn't the rumor that like much like gas stations, concessions are really, where a lot of money is made in movie theaters? I mean, that's not a rumor. That's a fact. That's the only place they make money. But isn't that crazy that you're like, well, the movie was $30. And they're like, I know. We lost on that. All goes to the studio. You're like, we lost. You lost on that? All goes to the actors. That's why actors make so much. And actually, Brad Pitt's going to get some of that popcorn. So he gets a nickel for every popcorn sold. Yeah, no, there's nothing like seeing a comedy in the theater where you're just like. Laughing with other people. I felt that seeing one battle after another. So did I. I felt that like. First time in a long time. That comedy juice of like when he was like, you know, hard R retard on the phone. And people just lost their shit. People in the theater clapped when Sean Penn died in the theater I was in. Really? I've never, I've never been in a movie where people clapped when the villain died. I don't care if people haven't seen it yet. You're too late now. You should have already seen it by now. But the scene when he falls off the roof, I laughed for like a full five minutes. So fucking funny. I laughed so fucking hard. I had to like do the thing where my wife was like, stop, please. Because I kept replaying it in my head. So fucking funny. How funny it is to see a guy fall. Yeah. And the like young kids are jumping so high. So high. Over the thing. They're like bouncing. Yeah. It was so fucking good. It reminded me of old school comedy Pratt fall, but not hokey. It didn't feel. No. And this isn't me taking a shot, but in the way that like. It wasn't like Farrelly Brothers. Right. I was just about to say in the, in the goofy, wacky fall, this was like a real fall that felt real, but it's so funny because you're like, God, that looked real. It looked so fucking real. I'm dying with the like, yeah, I don't want to give too much away. I don't know if people have seen it, but like. Cause also the fall didn't cut. It was Leo when he gets up. Yeah. He really did the fall too. It's a long take. Did you know that? No. No. Yeah. They hit a cut somewhere, but it's a really, cause I just rewatched it last weekend. It's pretty seamless. I could not see where they cut. It's seamless. Yeah. Maybe the stunt person did it. I don't know. More than likely. They wouldn't throw Leo down. It was like a 30 foot drop. I don't, I think it's half. I think some of that stunt and the other half is good camera work. Oh yeah. No, he fell into a shadowy area. They definitely had a cut somewhere there. He fell into something. And then getting tased is always funny. Don't tase me, bro. It's like, it returned to all the things inside of me that makes me really laugh hard about simple, stupid. I just love movies. I know. It's just a movie. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a movie. You're like, this is a movie. I just saw a movie. I'm not just like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah. Because lately I have been going to see stuff and I'm like, this is boring. I know. It's so boring to say movies suck, but like, movies suck. They do. So much stuff sucks. What are you making right now? Trying to, yeah. What are you making? Movies. Movies suck. I want to make one. It's funny. I had this podcast that just came out recently about my dad. It's like a doc series about my dad being a criminal. Your dad was a criminal too? Yeah. Like, what kind of criminal? So, he was in the mob and I found out, he always lied to me. The basic story is he said he was Jon Bon Jovi's manager to me until I was like 10. Fuck you. Really? Yeah. And then he got arrested and I was like, what the fuck? And he was like, yeah, I do illegal shit for the mob with like gambling and loan sharking and like, he's Jewish. Did he ever work with Jon Bon Jovi? Never. That's the funniest thing in the world. Just a total fucking lie. Dude, I love that. And then I started working with him in high school. Like, I started like dropping shit off at places and like disposing of evidence and like doing all this crazy shit. And he died in 2007 of cancer and he made these tapes on his deathbed. He made deathbed tapes. Saying goodbye to people? No, just like his life story. And I didn't listen to them until during the pandemic. I was like, maybe I could do like a fucking serialized podcast about like discovering who my dad was. And I listened to the tapes and it was like a bunch of shit I didn't know about him. And it like sparked this investigation and I did this Audible series. That's crazy. Yeah. And this whole Audible series is me just like learning about his crazy. Crazy fucked up shit he did. And it's kind of like a comedy true crime thing. But yeah, I'm turning that into a movie hopefully. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have a relationship with your father or it was all kind of surface? We were best friends. Oh. Oh, we were like, yeah, he was like almost to the point where it was like beyond what a father should be like best friends. Like he would hang out with me and my friends. More than your buddy than your father. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he died when you were 21? Six. Oh. 24. Sorry. Okay. Yeah. And he died. Yeah, he died. And I actually gave him the cassette tapes. I was like, just record something. And he recorded all. He admitted to like the darkest shit I've ever. Because he knew he was dead. Sex crimes. Oh, that's not good. That part's bad. Like crazy shit. And then. Crazy illegal shit? Maybe having other kids too. And like I did. There's a huge twist at the end of this thing. It's like it's 10 episodes, but I find out something crazy. I'm not going to say it. But I find out something crazy about myself that I was like had no. idea i think i know we'll say it i say it off-screen yeah micro dick and that's where you got the mic that's what I found out that's fucking yeah yeah it's crazy is your mom ever remarry or she did that try okay she didn't know about the craziest part of this is she didn't know about any of this and he admitted to cheating on her their whole marriage they were married 10 years and she didn't know any of this shit and I had to I it's in the it's in the doc series like I had to tell her all this shit like and have this conversation with her that's what a weird debate in your mind that you had did you decide like you did was there a moment you're like maybe I shouldn't tell her because why would I yeah why what's the point well why did you decide to tell her all that stuff because she kept asking okay I like I interviewed her for the thing I was part of it and she just kept being like what it was on the tapes and I was like she's gonna hear it so I had to tell her like at their engagement party he got a hand job and like crazy shit yeah what do you mean like someone a friend of theirs jerked off at the engagement party yes like a friend a friend my mom's best friend jerked off your dad at their engagement party in a car outside of their engagement party true story and he gleefully admitted this shit on these tapes gleefully that's crazy at your fucking engagement yeah yeah yeah holy shit yeah also your mom's friend dog dude what the fuck is her deal this didn't make the series but my mom and I decided a handjob a handjob yuck why yuck I love handjobs really I do you do yeah what you don't know I really like suck it sit on it I don't want your hand on it what I don't don't touch it suck it sit on it I touch it it's really easy it's like quick no one's gonna jerk you off doing it it's it's it's so much easier well your wife does that because she doesn't want to do other stuff she's like here yes right I'm not under the impression that's I'm totally maybe I'm in the minority on this but I love handjobs I've never gotten a handjob my wife whoa the only time I got handjobs when we were teen like teenage years really yeah at high school am I alone on this yeah do you like handjobs you're alone on this yeah really suck dude no I love them no one's better than you at handjobs you're not gonna drive my car better than me it's my car she's good send her over she's good man no no yeah it's you know whatever handjobs are good he got so he got a handjob and uh my mom and I try to track the this lady down no that's rad and we found her and we couldn't use it in the series because she never gave permission but yeah we found her she's still out there giving handjobs she's still out there she's a comic fuck you swear to god shut up swear to god she is a comedian yeah in New York in LA no way yeah Ellen Cleghorn it's not her that's um yeah yeah it's crazy yeah but she does she is an actress or something or what did she know she just you know those people who just are like they go to like the haha or something and it's just like older people like and they're just like and they write a book or something that they say you know it's one of those people I love you so much yeah you know older people you know they fucking you don't talk about like they all self published three of them in my head right now yeah I know exactly who you're talking yeah those kind of people I want to off camera you're gonna tell me who it is because I'm just crazy for sure god that's fucking wild yeah it was it was a wild ride it took three years to make this thing was it cathartic like do you feel like you got some relief from it or no yeah yes you did a ton of relief so it felt a little bit I didn't expect to weight lifted you know it's funny it's like I don't know if you're this way but I feel like nothing could affect me like I'm just like I've been through so much shit I'm like yeah I could learn anything about my dad and it would not affect me and then it started affecting me and I was just like this is crazy I'm a little numb to a lot of stuff although the big if it was a big enough curveball you know I have a friend did I tell this before on here who found out at the latter years of his father's life who was fading away and I was like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god that he was a PDF file and it blew it fucked him up in a way he was talking to me about it we hadn't seen each other a long time but it fucked him up in a way where I mean if you like change the chemistry of his brain he almost didn't seem the same it's like nothing he did nothing wrong like elements of that right where he like he just was different because it blew his mind so fucking deep and he was like I don't even know yeah do you like get a lot of pride from your family or your father or like do you like are you like I'm proud of who I am like being a Santino we don't well my mom's remarried and and and my dad and I have kind of a you know our relationship my biological for dad is like we're just it's a guy it's we're got you know hey I hope you're well it's good to hear from you you know like we didn't really keep close because my parents got divorced when I was a kid wasn't around so like it was hard for me we didn't really like he he was uh he was my father not my dad you know what I mean right so for me it's like it you know now we're I'm grown and like we keep in touch a little bit and it's nice but there's not there's not that thing beneath it where it's like remember when I uh took you to the ball game it's like we never lived that life so he's like an adult male and I am too now yeah that's why you're scary yeah yeah the dad thing yeah but my stepdad was a wonderful man who who raised me I mean in lieu of my father not being there he was incredible but my stepdad and I are unbelievably different I like sometimes I joke with my mom I'm like I we literally couldn't be more different guys yeah I feel that about I've adopted some of his uh habits where like he was a neat freak it all like I I am a neat freak like oh so you were really young when he my parents oh my four and then my dad was in jail for a big chunk of that yeah whoa yeah whoa yeah you should do an audible series I thought about it I'm gonna find the tapes except my dad is like old school Chicago guy yeah mob stuff or no you don't have to say it well well no it's it's you know the the running joke was like if you want framework of my family's history my grandfather his dad till the day he fucking died worked at the racetrack oh put it together yeah you're like this guy was embroiled in like the most it was like yeah that was my dad was at racetracks all the time they live these people they live and die by these people and so they all gamble and their their worlds are completely surrounded by people that are trying to uh hit the life lotto this is the people I emulated growing up was like my dad's friends who were like at otbs do you remember otbs please what do you mean we used to go to otbs all the time my dad and I it's a for people I don't know off track betting is like if there is nowhere for the if it's a place where the weather doesn't permit they will just bet on florida horses all day long or yeah to wherever they are it basically looked like a hospital where you could bet really really yeah it was like fluorescent lights it's so you look like a hospital waiting room right it was just people just betting on horse races in a hospital waiting room it's somehow sadder than casinos like it's because casinos at least have like some sort of vibrancy to it yeah yeah carpet it just the otbs were always yeah so I would go to the track and he worked at the dog track the greyhound tracks yeah really tough that's crazy there goes that rabbit that's the real fucking degenerate but as a kid yeah I was fascinated with it because it was like it seemed like a playland I was like this is incredible and they had boxing nights on like mondays and like they would have events to keep you there longer because they wanted more people to just come back and stay even if the dogs weren't running that night or that time of year but yeah my grandfather every one of my grandfather's friends had nicknames it was stuff I learned as I got older I was like oh that's not normal and italian right yeah yeah yeah that that almost became very obvious to me that I was like does your grandpa's friends your dad's friends not have nicknames you know what I mean like street names yeah I just didn't I thought that was totally normal I'll never forget I used to go to like the back of pizzerias with my dad and they would meet these guys who had the biggest hands I've ever seen they all had huge huge hands fucking hands yeah like just knuckle draggers and and they would a few of them would just hand me $50 bills oh yeah cash I was just like I was like seven yeah and they would just be like you want a 50 I was like yeah I'll take a 50 one of them handed me a ken griffey jr rookie card just was like you want this yeah it's like why does he have this on him they're endearing themselves to the to the community it's so getting cash was always very strange people that would give you cash as a kid was always like a uh because that's the only people that had that kind of cash on them at all time because they're they're their own bank oh they're not depositing money into a fucking checking account dude my dad didn't have a checking account his whole life this is what I'm saying he kept I knew how much money because he kept it he had this like headboard where you keep stuff on it and he would have just a stack of money and that was his money I thought he was rich because I was like the stack was like this big my dad's a billionaire and I was just like who has money that much probably like 10 grand but I was like that's all the money he has in the world but it was like 10 grand in like 20s yeah and I was just like he's the richest man on earth did you ever pinch or no no no never no you were scared of your dad no he would give me money if I asked okay I didn't have to yeah right if you're like I want a hundred dollars for this he also would like like OCD level count it all the time he loved he loved counting money he just would count it all the time you're not that you don't love money like that no I I'm scared of not having money but I don't love like when I have a lot of money I'm not like oh yeah this is great almost gives me more anxiety. Like, when I'm really flush, I have, like, I'm more anxious than when I'm not yeah I think it's a healthy way to live I think it's a healthy feeling because if you become someone that like gets money and then you go they can't touch me now yeah then it's like the world will fall fall on your fucking head but the gross part about money is when people start making substantial sums of money it's for some reason I wonder what the psychology is like the very very wealthy people in the United States the more money their families acquire it's almost as if the more selfish they get or the more insulated they get oh yeah cuz everybody wants it but so what I want to know what the note you know what that old that was that old thing on the internet that was like at a certain level of money doesn't determine any more happiness you remember this old thing that it was like that's if you make an X amount of money a year right I think it's a bull because if your lifestyle doesn't change with the amount of money right like that's the thing is like if you keep the same lifestyle but you just make more money you're just like yeah it's just in an account right but the more money you make the more you spend and you're yeah but I wonder what this I would rather hear a study about what is the level of money that people achieve like a CEO or like a company owner where they begin to give less and do they do less for other people and give less because I do feel like young money people start to really do give more like there's more philanthropy that's given at a certain level of new money where they are very generous and then there's like a weird cutoff I think there's a point and I've never been this rich but I think there's a point where every need is taken care of you're like I bought the houses I want I bought everything my my kids kids kids are taken care of right and then money becomes a game like a number game where you're like I just want more than other people yeah and that's where I think it happened like like because you're like yeah it's all taken care of but now my goal is to be like I have more than that fucking billionaire or or it's an even smaller game like Warren Buffett that weirdo fucking game he plays where if the stock market is up doesn't matter if it's it doesn't matter the number of how much up but if it's up he gets a he gets a what is it called at McDonald's he gets the sausage egg McMuffin if the stock market is down he gets just the egg McMuffin without the sausage isn't that disgusting that's great that's let that's how manipulative money isn't because it doesn't matter the the price of anything means nothing he just thinks that's like a that is like a financial jinx did you grow up without money or with money no we had we so when I was a kid kid when my mom was a single mother I was a kid I grew up with my mom you know she was she was paycheck-to-paycheck right she was just kind of going to get by and then when she met my dad he's a salesman who had a good job who who like did very well and and took care of us very well so when we were young it was a really hard struggle for my mom something I only learned when I got older that she really struggled she would you know she was it was really much harder than I ever knew as a kid she was good at hiding it right and then my stepdad worked in sales and did well you know was never like my parents were always afraid of everything like we're not gonna this could all go you know so we never were like flush rich we never took a ton of fancy vacations nothing like that but he always had a good job and did well enough and my mom they both worked my whole life they both just retired like five years ago like they were my mom never never not worked I only knew her as someone that worked so we were fine we were always well and fine except when I was a kid I think I had no idea that my mom was struggling pretty bad I didn't know I mean when you grow up with that like fear of money and your parents it seeps into you oh yeah like it really you start to not even consciously you're just like I've been scared about running out of money my whole life when you will be home because of them yeah yeah it's forever what does it say Warren Buffett actually orders the more expensive bacon egg and cheese biscuit when the market is up and then he has the sausage McMuffin with egg and cheese oh so it's the fancy biscuit when the market's high yeah but this is I kind of like that less but it's yeah me too than what you said yeah I thought mine I thought so yeah yours is way more fun yeah fuck that other thing mine's better but that is that is a disgusting manipulation of like because he's so full with money that you're like oh then this is a joke it's I know that he's making a joke that's gross though that's like so fucking gross he has a $47 billion he doesn't Berkshire Hathaway I'm also like the like I like Jay Leno have you ever met that guy I met him for the first time not too long ago and it's it was so brief that I it was almost like I didn't great guy I don't want to talk shit about you know but his whole thing about like never spending his tonight you know about that yeah I've heard this that pisses me off I don't know if that's real does that sound I don't know that sounds like one of those fucking you know Hollywood yeah that he says he's only spent money that he made on the tonight show that's crazy I mean I'm sorry on stand-up yeah he never spent tonight show yes meanwhile Conan's like I spent all that money I've spent every dollar I've ever made well that's what you're so put that's what it's there for really yeah that's not the right attitude oh spend it you're gonna die you know it's like almost like when I finally this is such a dumb such a dumb person when I finally learned that with credit like let's say you let's say you acquire you you accrue thousands of dollars of debt tens of thousand and you die with 80 grand in debt in credit card debt it goes away dude I it's the coolest thing with that I I got it when my dad was getting sick this is like I was like early 20s I got into crazy credit card debt cuz I was just like I was doing stand-up you know I wasn't working really right I just got credit card credit card what's the highest you had what was the highest debt you had I mean for a kid in his 20s I had a lot of credit card debt I mean for a kid in his 20s I had a lot of credit card debt I mean for a kid in his 20s I had a lot of credit card debt I mean for a kid in his 20s I had I mean for a kid in his 20s I had like 20 grand that's a fuckload of money had like 20 grand that's a fuckload of money which was a lot and you know I was which was a lot and you know I was just like I'm not gonna pay this you weren't just like I'm not gonna pay this you weren't scared at all I was just like scared at all I was just like what am I gonna do I'm not gonna pay this or you're what am I gonna do I'm not gonna pay this or you're actually I'm what are they actually I'm what are they gonna do I'm yeah I'm going I'm doing the fucking like gonna do I'm yeah I'm going I'm doing the fucking like you know the bar down the you know the bar down the street open mic like what am I gonna do I stopped and street open mic like what am I gonna do I stopped and I think I was just like on I stopped and I think I was just like on the fringes of society enough for them the fringes of society enough for them not to find me and then seven years not to find me and then seven years later is gone and I found out that later is gone and I found out that there's a seven-year statute of there's a seven-year statute of limitation on most credit card debt that limitation on most credit card debt that if you don't pay it for seven years it's if you don't pay it for seven years it's off your record fuck you gone but if off your record fuck you gone but if they get you in the meantime then you're they get you in the meantime then you're fucked they could garnish wages or fucked they could garnish wages or something but I just never had wages so I something but I just never had wages so I was just like making you know I was touring doing and there are no touring doing and there are no wages to be gone but if you could avoid it for wages to be gone but if you could avoid it for seven years and then I like seven years and then I like check my credit like ten years later I was like check my credit like ten years later I was like it was great and I was like how it was great and I was like how I thought I just was like scared to check I thought I just was like scared to check my credit for the rest of my trip my credit for the rest of my trip do not do this people at home but this do not do this people at home but this could not all right do it yeah no one could not all right do it yeah no one pays their student life I know but I'm pays their student life I know but I'm afraid now it's gonna be like people are afraid now it's gonna be like people are gonna try it and then someone's gonna go gonna try it and then someone's gonna go to jail big thanks a lot very rough I to jail big thanks a lot very rough I don't know if this I I'm not a lawyer don't know if this I I'm not a lawyer but it did happen to me it happened to but it did happen to me it happened to you it happened as well the unpaid you it happened as well the unpaid credit card debt falls off your credit credit card debt falls off your credit reported for seven years the debt itself reported for seven years the debt itself does not disappear this distinction is does not disappear this distinction is critical because it affects your critical because it affects your creditors ability to sue you and creditors ability to sue you and continue to impact your financial life continue to impact your financial life in other ways well let me tell you in other ways well let me tell you something on come get him here I am something on come get him here I am fleet bank still around well that's fleet bank still around well that's probably what it is the bank folded probably what it is the bank folded pocket we can't do it that happened with pocket we can't do it that happened with one of my student loans the bank folder one of my student loans the bank folder and they were like yeah you're fine fuck and they were like yeah you're fine fuck it I just like yeah private student it I just like yeah private student loan just sent me a letter last year and they loan just sent me a letter last year and they were like that's another I stopped were like that's another I stopped paying a student loan at some point too paying a student loan at some point too and my dad was lucky my I was very and my dad was lucky my I was very lucky my dad told me he was like you will lucky my I was lucky my I was lucky my I was lucky my I was lucky my I was lucky I was lucky my I was lucky my I was lucky my dad told me he was like you know I'm dad told me he was like you know I'm gonna give you a dollar and I was like gonna give you a dollar and I was like oh my god so then my money that I made oh my god so then my money that I made in college was my money and that's what in college was my money and that's what I had to operate with unless I was I had to operate with unless I was really low if I was crazy bad broke you really low if I was crazy bad broke you know in college my dad would be like know in college my dad would be like alright I'll give you a little bit I'll alright I'll give you a little bit I'll give you a couple hundred bucks but you give you a couple hundred bucks but you gotta figure out the rest and I think it gotta figure out the rest and I think it was good for me but it was painful was good for me but it was painful because a lot of my friends did more because a lot of my friends did more shit than I did mmm so it sucked a shit than I did mmm so it sucked a little bit yeah because I did never had little bit yeah because I did never had a credit card and I and and my senior a credit card and I and and my senior year they had some dickhead on campus year they had some dickhead on campus you know doing like you know some like you know doing like you know some like oh you know 28 year old kid it's like oh you know 28 year old kid it's like dude you apply for a credit card you get dude you apply for a credit card you get a free but above a bubble bar and I was like i wanted like it's free money it's free money i wanted to do it so fucking bad but my dad scared the shit out of me because he's like are you still that way uh in the sense of like um scared of debt well i don't have i don't yeah i i paid everything off all the time i was like i don't want them to come get me and also i don't even have a i don't have a debit card like i don't have a debit card you just pay cash everything it's either it's either my credit card which is paid off automatically or i was doing that cash i just don't i have this like eternal fear of like being flippant about stuff or losing track only because like you heard those stories about people that like lost track and they're like when when you when you heard like when you're like what do you mean james brown's broke do you know what i mean you're like what do you mean they're like he's broke you're like james trusted some jew right you're like james brown the guy who made like a hundred million dollars in a single year he had like a hundred million dollars in a single year he had like a hundred million dollars in a he has no money yeah so that fear of like the first time i ever got a tv show i was like i'm gonna save every single fucking dime i just like to know every i do my own books like i don't have my business manager accountant do my books i do i literally every month do you have a business manager but you still do it yes brilliant an accountant sure same thing yeah yeah i don't i don't want i want to do my book i want to know you don't trust i want to feel how much money i have you know what i mean like i i'm i do this thing i don't know if a lot of people do this but i like i'm constantly asking people to do this and i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like adding up how many months i have left until i'm broke that's great you know what i mean like yeah i'm so scared all having a kid too it makes you i was gonna say that probably scares you the hardest yeah because i'm like you know they need i need for her yeah i don't need for me always you don't need for you no you need for that yeah that machine needs a thing yeah yeah that's so it's great that's probably the that probably the thing that keeps you moving if you never had that kid you'd be dead dude the amount of fucking money i wasted yeah it's crazy could have gone on sneakers could have gone to the kid was i doing could have gone to the kid yeah of course i could have daddy how come i'm hungry daddy wanted shoes daddy wanted nikes and you just don't understand that i have a lot of nikes that's what is that where i sleep in the shoe closet that's where you get to sleep kiddo because daddy wanted to waste money and that's how we live no i think most americans have like that ticking time bomb or they get to a place when they're like i don't give a fuck fuck you what do you mean like they just don't if if because they know that they're they're financially in a bad place so they just oh yeah what are you gonna do who cares yeah fuck you that must be great well maybe i don't know i feel like yeah it's there's a fear all the time i but the thing is like i tried it you know like some people who are rich they're like i don't want my kids to know how rich i am yeah it's so stupid you know like they're like they know they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna be middle class but secretly i'm not i'm the opposite i'm like i have no money but i want her to think her to think you're rich that's actually brilliant yeah yeah but that whole idea of like we have friends that have kids that they try to like they're like we don't let them we try to like keep them humble or whatever yeah but it's like you fly first class yeah what are you talking about yeah your kids your kids are with you in all of the wealthy things that you normally do every rich person i know they're like yeah i don't i don't want my kids to know but like we always fly first class i'm like i'm not gonna sit in fucking economy like yeah oh once you can fly first class there's no one on earth who doesn't want to fly first class right nobody goes we'll go back yeah no we'll go i don't love my kids that much i saw a kid at i saw a kid at fucking we went i took my my one of my my childhood best friends came into town and i was like i want to take you to nobu malibu on the beach i was like i haven't been in a long time and i go this would be fucking amazing it's a good night for all of us yeah so i make a reservation we go out there and we're waiting for a table that's just not happening they're like we we only had two people on the list i was like no it's for four of us it's two couples they were like well you're gonna have to wait a while because there's no tables then i look over to my mixology yeah i told him about mix i said do you know me from punked i look over to my right and sitting at a beach chair eating sushi is no shit a six-year-old girl and her mom and i was like this is the this is the world that los angeles has that people are like what are you talking about that kid is eating the most expensive sushi in la it's six and she's just kind of like on her mom's chatting with some other girl having martinis and i was like this is this is the world that la's created where wealthy people just kind of don't at some point they don't give a fuck they're like whatever she's got to come with me she's got to indulge in the way that i this is how we live i'm not gonna stop doing this i know it is what it is it's funny to watch so you're like that's crazy yeah like we didn't i don't think we like going out to dinner when i see young people at a nice restaurant now i'm like i don't remember going out to a nice restaurant when i was a kid i was like i don't remember going out to a nice restaurant when i was a kid i was like we wanted to regular restaurants i remember thinking chili's was the nicest restaurant that existed it was i legitimately was like we're gonna chill it like well when they when they when they i i think like tony roma's actually was the the nicest tony roma's is very nice does that still exist did you go to tony roma's yeah i think they're gone super rosa was good italian do you know that super rosa they're all gone too bucca di beppo i mean good christ what are you a great ribs god bless tnr yeah those like those higher end chains or whatever those were the fanciest thing in the world i still have like if ruth's chris seems like the most expensive meal you could have yeah it's not but yeah yeah yeah there's so like but for steak you were like who goes here who goes to ceos is this only for ceos yeah we never really had that my parents were never into like like my sister now loves fancy restaurants and she suckers my parents into going right but my dad still prefers the other stuff buy a landslide of course we get my dad every year the same gift a hundred dollar gift card to the olive garden every year for christmas really he's yeah every year and hundred dollars goes a long way there yeah it's last the literally the entire year i'm not kidding it's christmas to christmas he starts to run out around november and then he lets us know he's like you gotta top off that card man because i gotta go back i need it man that is the possible ended this is like an unbelievable truth about my dad he's upset and he likes to go alone yeah doesn't need to go with anybody goes alone sits in his little booth we would go to the olive garden on very special occasions like a graduation or something and my mom would always be like get the never-ending ball like do you know they do that like as if it's like a hack that she discovered she's like no no it never ends there's a loophole like you get as much i was like i don't want that much pasta you need to you're like it never ends or what was the hometown buffet country country old country buffet ocb little ocb we'd go to those in high school because that was we feel like we cry it's so funny that you do feel like you crack the system you're like i'm gonna eat fucking nine different kinds of food are they aware that i'm doing it i went to the best buffet i've ever are you a big buffet guy i haven't been to one in years i don't where is a buffet you're not a big eater right you don't like i i love food i have to like i make my my nutritionist makes my meals and pills now so i don't uh no i'm kidding how funny if i only take a guy who's trying to stay alive forever you see that uh yeah oh well he has to be on the show what was his fucking name he's like bobby johnson ryan johnson ryan johnson yeah brian brian johnson yeah he's like i'm four years younger than my actual age you're like who fucking gives a shit that's insane who fucking cares yeah but i look like powder from that movie you know like i look so strange i am michael stipe yeah i am michael stipe i'm i look like i'm actively dying but i'm not um i love buffets yeah i went to the bacchanal my brother took me we were in vegas yeah that's the that's like the one yeah that's the one it is i've never been to anything like that they say that's like the nicest one isn't it that's like the fanciest one i don't know i just i'm like and i do it right man i just get like a tiny bit of everything that's my buffet strategy what's your perfect buffet plate general sows banana foster cake lasagna and uh sushi and sush and sushi see for me it's pasta pizza meat of some kind whatever you get pasta and pizza at a buffet yeah i have to i put the pasta you're throwing your money away i put the pasta on the pizza you're throwing your money away though i wrap the pizza in pasta that's a terrible idea i know but if i go there i know i'm gonna go deep i'm gonna go hard so that's my first plate is a little tour of italy my second plate's usually sushi because i can settle on that's easy i can you do the whole king crab legs plate i can't do the crab legs yeah i don't know what it is i just people go nuts for king crab legs at buffets people go crazy i'm gonna say it what black people love it that was the red lobster thing red lobster they stayed afloat because of black people 100 yeah yeah you know i've never been to a red lobster i've never been to a red lobster i've never been to a long john silvers not once it's bad in a way where you're just like this could uh i i might need to go see a doctor after i had this it's so bad yeah yeah it just i don't i fast and i've always said this people have argued with me i say it's fast food seafood they're like that's not fast food it's casual dining seafood but i still silvers but it still feels like fast food seafood too yeah yeah i know it's not but it does feel that way like frozen shrimp um you when you can taste the water like it tastes like water do you know what i mean like frozen drip tastes like water yeah it just gives me a feeling it creeps me out in my soul i don't know why it fucks me up i've made big mistakes at red lobster i mean the cheddar bay biscuits are great but i've gotten like oysters like i was like stupid i was like what am i asking for a bacterial infection i don't know what i'm doing that's what i'm doing i'm just asking for a bacterial infection i don't know what i'm doing that's crazy yeah stupid but oddly enough those are probably healthier than some fancy restaurant that uses a technique that's supposed to taste more organic or something but that probably has way worse shit in it they probably spray bleach their oysters you're not getting sick they got a fucking spray bottle with fucking bleach you're never getting sick like spraying lysol right they're probably cleaning it by hand with soap and water they're like put these oysters right back in the shell my dad used to go to he loved arthur treacher's do you know that was a treacher arthur treacher's is like a lower end long john silvers no chance that only exists in like truck stops and shit okay i used to have a joke that like every time we went to an arthur treacher's they were surprised we were ordering from them like they were like like they could it it is the lowest quality fish place arthur treacher can i see a photo of what it looks like arthur treacher arthur treacher's was his place and your father loved it loved it you just get fried fucking whatever who even knows yeah there it is arthur treacher's never in my life this has got to be a new york thing no it was everywhere really pretty sure yeah truck stops all across the country have you heard of this minnesota boy no no but i love the british flag did you have roy rogers growing up i never we i know of it but i never had it yeah i saw it but roy rogers is slated in the category of of uh of cracker barrel to me it kind of had a that same uh cowboy yeah what was it and not don johnson what was the other uh howard johnson howard hotels hotels ojo what was it called there was like a not don john there was like another in tim hortons no we didn't have those timmy hortons eh yeah we had we see you had those in new york we never had those no we didn't have those we had one in in like penn station or something right but we never then i never heard that till i went to canada what was it called not but it had that cracker bear feel it was almost like a southern but we never went to those either my parents were very it was like we went to one or two local spots and that was it they never really went out my dad loved diners i still love diners all the time i love diners but they're dead yeah they're dying like cafe 101 closed down years ago no they reopened uh a new one there what is your diner is it a Another diner. Oh, it's the same thing? Same thing, yeah. But is it good? It's good. Yeah, it's a diner. I don't know. I like diners. I like diners if they're authentically, like, it's kind of shit, which makes it good. But when they try to do, like, good food at a diner, then I get bothered. Fred's? What are you doing? What is that? Yeah. That's a restaurant. Yeah, you're trying to be a restaurant. It's a fake. It's like $20 for a burger. I don't know. The fuck are we talking about? That's crazy. Okay, if you and I open a diner, all right? I'm down. Let's do it, dude. I'm fucking down. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's be honest about our prices. What is a cheeseburger at our diner? Tops, $10. I would say $8 is probably right around there. Yeah. $8 to $10. Yeah, you got to get a greasy, like, you want to, my wife, she messes up. She always goes to diners and orders the things, like, that aren't in their wheelhouse. Right. Like, she'll get, like, the shakshuka at a diner or something. It's like, no, no, no, don't get the tuna melt. Don't stray. Yeah, yeah. Get the old school, get the thing that they can make in lightning time. Yeah, yeah. They can make it so fucking fast, it's done when you order it. She overthinks it constantly. Yeah, like, lasagna at a diner and shit. Insane. Don't do that. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. No, you get the thing where you know the moment she types it in, it's in the window. It's like fucking, the moment it's like, dude, dude, they're like, yeah, order up. Yeah, yeah. That's what you want at a diner. Soup. Soup. Diner soup is always pretty good. I love diner soup. Very salty. But my problem is, sometimes diners, they do soups that are pretty good. For their clientele, which is old people. Yeah. So they'll do like a split pea. Split pea. And it's fucking, no one's eating that shit. Yeah, no one wants that. White Palace Grill in Chicago. White Palace. Love that spot. Yeah, and they should change that fucking name, by the way. Because that's not cool anymore. It's not a White Palace. Why? No Kings, No Kings, No Kings, No Kings, No Kings at White Palace. By the way, the No Kings protest has now been like a weekly thing in the valley here at Studio City. They protest on the corner out front of the CVS and it's kind of cute because it's a bunch of old people. It's only old. There isn't one person under 60, not fucking one. And they sit there and they have the No Kings sign and this is every weekend and they get the honks. You know, people honk, you know, honk for us. But then I thought like, you do see these elderly people like, they honk, they all get scared when someone does honk. They want them to honk, but they all do jump a little bit. They all jump. They all watch. I'm like, it's because it says like, honk. So they'll be, they'll walk across the intersection and then and you'll see them all kind of jump a little bit. It's the funniest shit. I was dying laughing watching it. I was like. One dies. I was like, just don't make them honk. No Kings. Don't make them honk. Just hold up the sign and enjoy the fucking protest. I mean, I'm not, you know, I just, the name No Kings. It's awful. It's just lame. It's a lame fucking. Yeah. It should be. No Kings. No Kings is wack. I don't know. I feel like that's a thing for British rule. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. Please. Come on. No Kings. Come on. No Kings. I don't know why it sounds like that to me. No Kings. No Kings. Oh God. No, no, no, no. What? How much? Oh, no, no, no. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. No Kings. Barry, I love you. I love you so much, man. I missed you. years now 2010 wow fuck that's insane yeah punked that's gross we're getting crazy right we're getting old yeah i don't feel old i do i look old i think well we both look our age i think i see that more and more now when i like when i if i'm out somewhere and i see like teenagers i'm like oh fuck like i can you can i can physically i can see the way that they look at me i'm like mad that more comics keep coming yeah yeah i thought it would stop i thought that would be it you thought we would close the door it's like 20 year old comics now yeah oh yeah and they're cruising baby but when i see them i when i see young people i do know that they look at me the way that i looked at when i was 24 in comedy and the way i looked at the 40 something year old comic yeah i know they look i know how they look at us of course yeah it hurts a little bit yeah when they go when they go oh hey what's up i'm like oh fuck yeah they hate us dude they're like old fucking you see barry's fucking dance meanwhile we're like i hope they see my set so they take me on the road that was always a thing i remember reading judy carter's comedy bible when i got into stand-up and one of her pieces of advice was hand a tape to headliners whenever you see them oh yeah and to be like you want to take people did that back in the day i know people did though and by the way the guys that did that did get road work now i guess no no but they may not have become they may not have become a headliner but but i do remember guys that were so good at playing the game and i was very jealous because i was so scared of i didn't know how to do that you know i never opened for a headliner no one ever took me out me neither i was always scared to ask you were in cities you didn't need to i know but i was so but i would love to have gone and gotten the experience because i had to go get it the only times i got it was if irvine improv or you know if somebody from the improv up here sent me down right same thing with um la jolla comedy stores they would send me down with a headliner you could go down they need somebody and uh i guess you can go it was that kind of it was never like the headliner wasn't like you want to come with me i mean what people don't realize is that you just got to be a good hang that's what headliners want but you want to hang out i'm scared of even i was so scared of even asking people i was so nervous about being like who do you take now uh right now i'm taking uh a young man named devontre coleman do you know him no oh he's fucking fantastically funny cool but i've taken in the past zach townsend went maybe for a while laura peak um ali mckoski before that chris o'connor um but yeah i keep trying to change it up and take new people but devontre is with me now he's you know him he's brilliant he's so fucking good well if you want i'll hand you a tape you could check out my set yeah i think uh do we still take tapes or all right i hand you a vhs yeah yeah uh thank you for watching thanks man uh barry we end the show the same way thank you do you want to plug anything more now do you want to plug something on my audible series plug the audible series mars searching for alan rothbart it's on audible i love the name it's it's one of the coolest things i've ever done maybe the coolest um searching for alan rothbart is on uh audible now it will put the link in the description down below so you guys can go um it's amazing to see you and i love you and um you buddy i'd like to see you more you're not far pasadena is not far no you're burbank right yeah yeah i mean as far as they know yeah uh we end the show the same way look into that camera say one word or one phrase to end the episode pussy you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers 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back for a brand new season we play medical doctors who are besties just like in real life and we'll definitely be up in each other's cases scrubs premieres wednesday on abc and stream the next day on hulu side effects may include laughing cheering and lots of high fives