Bandwagon Violence | Son of a Boy Dad #409

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I was in the pit, yeah. I got out there last night, took the train in solo. Yeah. And I just wore a mask. Masked up like you were looting in the fucking COVID riots. You wore a Knicks jersey. And beat someone up even though you were actually a cop. I had an Uber driver that was telling me that he was going to the. He was going to sit outside of the stadium and watch. And he was like, smoke a little tweed. Get outside the stadium. Tweed? I was like, yeah, that sounds awful. That sounds insane. Where can he even sit? It was impossible to get in. I think people just stand outside. Do they have like a big screen outside of the arena? No, last night. It was like all from 30th to 34th was completely blocked off. Like it was the inside of an airport. But like people weren't there? No, you had to go to Bryant Park to watch outside. Oh, really? That's lame. And Mom Donnie was like, make the streets run with their blood. He called out the hit? Yeah. He was like, don't let a Spurs fan walk in this city. Knicks in five. He tweeted something like that. He would be removed from office just immediately. You think? No, I think he'd be celebrated. If he tweeted him was like, I don't want to see a Spurs fan on the street. Yeah, they'd be like, bing bong, dickhead, we voted for the right one. I think he would. That would be a massive issue. They'd be like, let me get a chopped cheese with a fucking Spurs fan's dick on it. We were talking before the episode started about the brawls and things that have started have been broken out where it's just like 20 Knicks fans forcing some dweeby Spurs fan to vote. Spurs fan to like take their jersey off. Meanwhile, their face is covered in blood. And I don't know. I mean, obviously, that's just insane. Yeah. For so many reasons. Yeah, I think it's crazy. I mean, I was listening to what you guys were saying before, but I feel like they're like, I feel like there's certain cities that are like that. Like, I don't think New York's the only city that like, obviously, like Philly. No, but that's the identity there. So people, again, it's like, you know what you're getting yourself into to a degree. But if a Philly fan beats someone up for wearing the wrong jersey, or if they jump someone for wearing the wrong jersey, they're a loser, too. It's not like, oh, they get to pass because they're from Philly. No, you're also a loser. It's not like it's like some cities. It's cool. In some cities, it's not. My thought was that where was this violent, protective territorial energy from the Knicks fans for the last 50 years? You could waltz into the garden wearing any team's opposing jersey. Until what? Like this year till last night, when all of a sudden it's like we have to protect this fucking house. I think that's the biggest issue everyone has with the Knicks and their fans is that there's so many bandwagon fans. Well, they're all those are also just blue shirt wearing Wall Street bros. Yeah, I mean, I've decided to get excited for the first time. Yeah. Imagine like just watching the Knicks this like series for the first time and you're like beating the fuck out of Spurs fans. Like you should go to jail. I was like, I said, I was like, what, why, where was this energy for the last 50 years? You're all of a sudden violent now because they're good. It should have been the opposite. Yeah, yeah. You should have been beating people up because that's all you had. Yeah. When they were bad. Yeah. Have you ever seen the Crip initiation videos? Of course. Where they like have to beat someone up until they like list like 15 cereals or some shit like that. I just see the one where they're yelling fight back. It's like you have to like name like 15 cartoon characters while they're beating. That should be the opposite for the Knicks fans. And like you shouldn't be allowed to beat someone up unless you can name like players from the 2015 roster. Yeah. You should have to have to have some ball knowledge to be able to whip ass in the streets. Yeah. I mean, it is like. Like, what are the New York teams? I mean, I guess Yankees, Mets, Jets, Giants, Rangers. No one's won since the Giants in 2011. Yeah. What do you what exercise are you doing? I'm just like trying to think. Like if I like last time I've seen so many people wearing like yesterday, like almost everyone on the street or at least around here was wearing full Knicks gear. Yeah. Ugly colors to really bad. I don't really have a problem with that. I have I have a problem with like bandwagon violence. Yeah. I mean, a bandwagon violence. That makes no sense to me. It's just I mean, it's like also the Spurs like they're not. This isn't some blood rivalry that's been percolating for 20 years. Not at all. They're. Our team got good like this year. Yeah. Yeah. And like recently. They just aren't the Knicks Spurs rivalry. I mean, 99, they played each other. That was like. No one was. None of these people were alive. It's 22 year olds beating people up. It's like, yeah, the Spurs are arguably the most respectable franchise in the NBA. Yeah. All those championships they won. Greg Popovich, probably the best coach ever. I don't know. I don't know enough about. Talk to me, Roan. Am I wrong about that? Yeah, totally. You couldn't hate those Spurs. You couldn't hate those teams because they were too fundamentally sound. Yeah. I mean, the only thing I could see is like the Wemby thing last night. Like, I could see people getting mad about that. It's not about the Spurs. It's about. Well, it's a little bit about the Spurs. No, it's about the Knicks. No matter who they play. It's not like if they're playing the Warriors. I think if Wemby doesn't shove Brunson's head like that, I think maybe two less Spurs fans die last night. But there's still 300 deaths. That's a drop in the bucket. These are bad. I just don't think that the violence should be directed towards human beings. No. Flip a car like a normal fan base. Yeah. Like throw a fucking trash can through a fucking Smashburger window. Like go against like a corporate entity. Don't don't like. I just feel like also like a game three at home losing by what five in like the last seconds of the game. Like, I don't really feel like that's a game. And you're up 2-1. Yeah. I don't know if that's like a game where it's just. Like, I get like maybe like game seven or maybe they tie the series like last. Like, like people are like, I feel like people are kind of just going on with today. Like, yeah, that sucked. But like, I can't imagine killing someone last night over that game. Like that game. Like you knew the Knicks were going to lose the whole fourth quarter. It's like the last scene of like gangs of New York where it's like there's a black man being strung up on 34th and 7th. Oh, another one on 22nd and 3rd. The police blotters just. Now, does it change? Your guys calculus at all that like some of the people who are getting beat up were streamers that were there to troll. Oh, that's not. They should get beat up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That. Yeah. That. That's civic duty. Yeah. I still. I still think it's you shouldn't beat them up. Like, just let someone troll and like beat them at trolling. I mean, to be honest, you show up doing that. You are literally asking to be beaten up. That's what they're there for. They're looking to get. Is that how many of those people were that? About 50% of the people there, I'd say. I did see a van of them coming up. I did see a van full of streamers there and they're like, are you ready for this? And one kid was like, I'm not scared in the front seat, but rubbing his hands together, which is like clearly when you rub your hands together, your hands are sweaty. And so like, that's a true pure nervous sign. Yeah. I saw sneaker was there booing Trump, which was pretty funny. Yeah. Because I'm pretty sure he was like the number one. He was like arguing. on the streets with Rabbi Shmuley about it. Yeah. Was it him? Do you remember Aiden Ross that like bought Trump the Tesla? I don't know. With like Trump's face on it. Streamer gift giving culture is very funny. You just have to gift someone something. I saw Moses the jeweler was pissed off. Really? Moses the jeweler was furious. Did you see that? Well, I saw him. Yeah, I saw him. Yeah, that guy. Moses the jeweler. I don't know. I didn't realize Moses the jeweler had come across your desk, Francis. I've seen that guy. You're familiar? I know Mo. I know Mo. Yeah, Moses the jeweler was there with Fano. And they're like, we're the only crazy Knicks fans. It's corporate now. Yeah, I mean, the whole thing is pretty crazy. I'm excited for game four. I wish it was tonight. I don't think they need the full. I hate the night off thing. Really? Especially in the NBA and NHL. I hate when they do that. Well, they have to. NBA? Yes. They're already recovered. They're already good. They woke up today like fully refreshed. No, that game. They're 21 years old. These games are wars. Yeah. That game was very physical. Brunson looked cooked at the end of the game. Which is interesting because he probably played his fewest minutes of any playoff game so far this year due to his foul trouble. Really? I don't know what I'm talking about, so. It's okay. He looked tired. Yeah. I saw sweat on his face. OG looked very good. I was impressed with him. He's the only guy seemingly. Who can kind of get past Wemby and then protect by dunking. He's the only guy who just seems to find a way to like seal Wemby behind him and not worry about being blocked. Yeah. Sometimes you see that and you're like, why doesn't Wemby just go go gadget arm, try and block it from behind? But OG is that stout. He's that strong. Yeah. He's strong enough. It's just strength. Strong as an ox. Yeah. Was he the one that hit the three at the end? Yeah. In that corner three. That was sick. It was like, I was. For the last minute, I was like. If the fucking Knicks are going to fucking do it again. Oh, I thought they were going to. I like. The thing is like basketball. It's like, you know, like, I feel like it's so like, like they're going to foul. Like this is going to happen. Like it's. I know. But you just get to a point where you're like, they're not going to win. The replays were getting onerous. That was crazy. I thought the final quarter. I mean, it just took so long. It kind of really took some of the momentum out of watching it from home. But is that what like I really have barely watched the NBA finals. I watched the whole game last night. But I wasn't really. I wasn't fully locked in for the first half. Is Timothy Chalamet wearing on anybody else a little bit? No, I get. I get the feeling that if Timothy Chalamet wasn't famous, he would be hugging his overweight Mexican girlfriend from behind in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags. I could see that, too. Which makes him sound like a Spurs fan. Come on, baby. Yeah. Thanks for buying the tickets, baby. Yeah. I mean, I don't mind him. I don't know. I don't. I mean, like he was there all last year. He's been there all this year. Well, he's been going his whole life. Yeah. So he bought season tickets when he was a kid. Oh, really? In the nose. Paint and sold a bunch of them. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't have any issues with him. I mean, are they are they showing him like every every five seconds? A lot. I mean, he is courtside. Yeah. But yeah, he. He's probably he's probably the the most famous actor on the planet right now. Wouldn't. Would you say? Would you say that? Who's who's bigger than he is? Who's hotter than he is right now? Like in terms of like new up and like like anybody in Hollywood who's hotter than he is? Like if you go like I think males only. Sure. I think if you were to go like I think like Leo and like those guys are still more body of work. Yeah. But I think he's definitely I mean, like in terms. In terms of like current relevant actors, he's definitely the most. I think because, you know, he's dating the Jenner. True. And he's in Dune. Yeah. Which is the best. And then like having. But if you saw Leo. Massive hits. You're pausing the TV. Let's get a closer look at this. Like, yeah. Get out much. He's a little bit more of an old man and a mountain mystic kind of guy. Doesn't appear as much. Yeah. Maybe that's just me, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's just a Leo guy. I saw Denzel was there. I saw Jay-Z was there. That's that's. I thought he was in prison. Jay-Z. Didn't he like rape a little boy? Jay-Z. Yeah. You're thinking of Diddy. No, I think Jay-Z got into some trouble, too. They were like, he's the goat. Let him have one. Yeah, true. I mean, a lot of the Knicks are in the finals. You're not going to deny Jay-Z. I saw that Trump got there via Air Force One. Chalamet showed up in a Lamborghini. And Ben Stiller got there via the tunnels from Williamsburg. I think that the reason I bet if Trump didn't go to the game, I bet there would have been less violence last night. You make everyone wait in a four hour TSA line. That's how the people get angry. People get people are fired up now. Dude, but I think most of the violence was at Bryant Park for like the watch parties. They're probably pissed for their friends at the game. I saw Wemby getting screened in the tunnel of MSNBC. Like he was going, he was boarding a flight at LaGuardia. Yeah. A long ass wand. What'd they think? Wemby was going to be the guy to kill Trump? That would be crazy. I could see, um, they, did you see the sort of glass that they erected around the Trump's box? Yeah. That's kind of cool. Yeah. They booed him and then they muted it on the TV. Sounded like that. Yeah. I don't think it was a great idea. I get why they did it. But to cut to. That Trump during the anthem. Oh yeah. Is a conflicting moment there. Did you see them? Because the people were booing and I, and it's like, yeah, first of all, that anthem, that was the, one of the best national anthems I've ever heard sung. That guy's voice was beyond belief. Oh really? Oh my God. That guy. I don't know if I, I, I didn't really hear it. It was unbelievable. I was taking a knee. It sounded like Seinfeld. It was unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. He's incredible. Yeah. That guy was amazing. And imagine being that guy and you're killing it. And then all of a sudden everyone's booing. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. I never even thought about that. And he probably doesn't know Trump's on the fucking Jumbotron. What the fuck? Did I just go flat? He's not looking up. He's like, oh, did I miss a word? Yeah. He thinks. Yeah. He definitely thought he butchered the fuck out of it. Yeah. Added his own verse in. Yeah. Just vamping. I mean, that would throw me off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would throw me off. So it doesn't matter where you're at in the song. I know. You start hearing 25,000 people booing. You're like, I must have done something bad. Yeah. Yeah. Never. They're never booking me again. They had Trump on a couch like this. They had him on like a three seater couch and there was like a dude sitting in the middle. Imagine being like, at least get two people on the couch, three, like squeezing on a couch. Trump's have the president having to squeeze his balls at a finals game. I saw his granddaughter was there. She looked like. Terrified when the booing was going on. Yeah. I. Kai? Yeah. People, my buddies in my group chat were like, have some respect for the anthem and the presidents. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is selective patriotism. Yeah. It's also not the first time that this has happened. No, it isn't. And you know, you're just fucking doing all the same shit that like both sides just decide to become like. Yeah. To cite. Diehard patriots. Yeah. Patriotism. Yeah. When it suits them that the other side has not. How dare you boo when the flag has been raised? Yeah. It's like, what? Yeah. How dare you exercise your freedom of speech? Yeah. I mean, I just think Trump going to New York for the Knicks game three, like what was, what were they expecting to happen? Correct. A massive applause. Could have been any of the presidents. They would have been booed. Trump hates New York City. Yeah. I don't understand. He has vilified New York. Yeah. And totally separated himself and called this place a fucking dump. Yeah. Which I don't even know if I would say he's wrong. It was funny when he was like. Fallen a bit to seed. They were like, do you like basketball? He was like, it's fun. It's a bit left wing, but it's fun. Yeah, exactly. I thought that was a good line by him, but I just can't believe that he didn't have a comfy seat. Like they're building a custom box for you with bulletproof glass. You can't get a fucking, a lazy boy. You can't get an Ottoman underneath or like some, a massage chair or just going three wide on a couch is never comfortable. Who was the guy he was sitting with? I don't know. Oh, was it James Dolan? That was, that was Dolan in the middle. Interesting. I don't know. I saw a Bloomberg get smoked on the sideline. That was amazing. Yeah. Robert Kraft on the sideline. Yeah. Jeeps with the. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I saw Bloomberg get smoked on the sideline. That was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. All the pedophiles are out. Yeah. Jeter and Eli Manning. I didn't know they were pedophiles. That's crazy to see that. You have to be a pedophile to. Yeah. That was, that was Dolan. That looks like a bad time. Yeah. That looks so opposite. That looks the opposite of vibe-y. That doesn't look like a good time at all. Like James Dolan is sitting in the middle seat on an airplane right there. Yeah. Like having to cross his arms, can't use the armrest. James Dolan's also been hated by New York people for so long. But maybe they're turning that around now that the Knicks are good again. Would you guys say, is James Dolan still despised or have people come around on him? I don't think the Knicks mean good. But I might be wrong. He hates Barstool too. Yeah, he hates us. He won't let people come to like, he wouldn't let, I think he wouldn't let like Glenny Balls on like the floor of some event or something like that. I know that Dave said that when we had that big conversation about if he could sell out Madison Square Garden or not, he said that he wouldn't be allowed to do a show at Madison Square Garden regardless, like even if he could sell it out. Dave said that? Yeah, because this guy wouldn't let him. Imagine turning down like a full arena of people just because you don't like the guy. Yeah, but he could just be like, I'll just put in Billy Joel for night 78. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, we'll bring Harry Styles back for a little. For 35 shows. 35th show in a row. Where do you stand on that debate? Are you still that Dave couldn't sell it out? I don't speak on things like that anymore. It's beyond me. I would. I would say, I don't know. I don't know. It's tough. Now, I actually think I'm closer to. I never thought I'd see the day you'd be so scared to speak your mind. No, it was like, I don't really feel like re-bringing up all that. So you feel the same way? No. I haven't thought about it in years. I'm just asking you to think about it. I'm trying, but I'm just having a hard time getting a good answer for you. What do you think about that? Do you think that he could? I don't have any comment either. I'm afraid of my own words. What do you. If they're putting bulletproof glass around Trump at the game, maybe don't go to the game. Like, if you're at a. Like, if someone shot at Trump at MSG, it would have been like a stampede of people. Like, it would have been chaos. Well, help me out here. Like, that's never happened before. Help me out here. When he goes to the UFC fights, does he sit behind bulletproof glass then? I think he sits front row. That's kind of what I thought. Can we look. Can we look. Can we look that up? He does sit front row. Or at least he has in the past, but it might be. So the presumption. The presumption then is that you're. That an arena of UFC fans is just so unanimously friendly to the president and that Madison Square Garden is so against him that he has to protect his life in one versus the other. They're still both 20,000 people. Yeah, I mean, I. In each place, I would think. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I totally agree. It doesn't make any sense. But the, like, I guess the U. Like, this is more recent with all the. Front row, yeah. assassination attempts and stuff. Well, I also think that. Quotations? I think that in the. Like, imagine if he was sitting in Michael Bloomberg's seats and there was, like, a loose ball and Jose Alvarado, like, shouldered Trump in the face. Going after a loose ball or something like that. Yeah, yeah, that would be crazy. Like, in the UFC, there's, like, a fence that you can't. It's not gonna spill over to hit you. Yeah, but still, like. Bulletproof glass is a different point, though. Bulletproof glass. Like, if there's bulletproof glass, that means that they think that there is a possibility that someone is gonna try to shoot Trump at the Garden. Which, if that's the case, aren't you putting everyone that's at the Garden in danger by being there? Nah. The president should be able to go to a sporting event without his life being taken. Yeah, but, like. I just think it's bizarre. We should live in a. We should, theoretically. No, I agree. I totally agree. live in a country where you can go to a game and not be like, I gotta kill the president today. No, I completely agree. I've got two tickets, but I was planning to just watch, but now that he's coming. Yeah, I spent $10,000 on tickets. I'm gonna build a 3D-printed gun and fucking. Smuggle a plastic gun in my asshole. Smuggle it up my asshole and then go assemble it in the fucking bathroom. Like, I just don't get, like. The bulletproof glass means, like, security thinks, hey, we did our best, but there's still a chance. No, I think it's just, like, if something did happen, it would be like, well, why the fuck wasn't he behind bulletproof glass? I think it's just, like, a fail-safe type of, uh. Like, you have to have every measure covered or else you'll look like a fool. But, like, look at where the bulletproof glass is. Like, this isn't. This isn't insinuating that someone's gonna die or that someone is gonna take a shot with, like, a rifle from, like, mid-court. Like, he's in the nosebleeds and the bulletproof glass is in front of him. So where are they shooting? From the other side of the nosebleeds? I don't know. Like, it's. I just think it's cra. I think it's crazy to even have the bulletproof glass. Well. I heard. I saw he was banging on it like a hockey game. He's like, Bronson! They also had the glass when he went to the Ryder Cup. Oh, yeah. And again, that's New York. To me, it's. It seems like. I don't know. Like, they decide that they need to put. I think enough people have tried to kill him that it's just like. Well, they should. My point is that they should have it everywhere. Well, I don't know. I don't think he should be going to UFC fights fucking unglassed. But that's the thing that I don't understand. Like, do you think that they're. Do you think the glass is to, like, put fear in people to be like, oh, look, when Trump's here, he needs the glass? No, I don't think so. I think it's. It's a correct and necessary precaution at this point. But I don't entirely. My thought would be. I think the correct move would just be, hey, watch the game from home. You don't watch the Knicks at all. You've never been to the games. Let's watch from home. There's a big precedent for. Rather than walking in with a fucking glass box around you. Heads of state presidents going to Super Bowls and major sporting events. Of course. He should be able to do that. I don't know. I think the thing. I think you're trying to lull the. Secret Service to sleep. And you're like, there's no reason for anybody to be concerned. And then, bam, that's where Sass steps in. I think the glass is more of a statement than it is an actual, like, safety precaution. It's not even bulletproof. Honestly, it could be. It might just be, like, plexiglass. Candyglass. Trump was probably hoping for someone to hit it like a wrestling move and it just shatters like stone cold walking through. I don't know. I don't. I don't really know what to make of it, to be honest with you. Like, has there been any, like, shootings at the Garden before that? It's just a public. You saw how violent it was outside. But it's a four-hour security line and then going in and being inside of a cage. Dude, I think 20,000 people, it's pretty tough to be perfect in frisking and not letting someone slip through. Like, whether. Maybe they've acquired a MSG employee outfit. Right. And a fake mustache. I mean, at that point. Have you considered the fake mustache? No, I haven't. Because it seems like you're not even thinking about it. Take the fake mustache off and he's like, I'm part of the damn act, you fool! You fool! I just think that this is an insane visual to look at. Yeah, but you know who wishes they had some bulletproof glass fucking Abraham? Abraham Lincoln. That, like, this is a prime Wilkes Booth situation. But Abraham Lincoln didn't have the glass. Like, he's mad enough to go to the play without the glass. Yeah, because we had to learn from Abe that we need glass. But they got, like, 20 other presidents after Abe, so clearly the glass doesn't matter. Those didn't happen at sporting events. And they got three other ones after him. JFK, no glass. Who was talking yesterday? They had an option for glass. Opted out. Yeah. You know? Yeah, but that's. That happened in Texas, right? So he was a Democrat. Makes sense. Should have had glass. No, but I think, like, what's he going to do? Drive down the street with a glass box over the car? That's literally what the Pope does. Correct. Have you seen the Popemobile? No. Tyler, do us a solid show of the Popemobile. I just feel like if he's going to a. If he went to a drag show in Boston, he doesn't need glass. I guess. Yeah, like, that's pretty much what they should have for Trump. Look at the front of the car. Why does it look like a souped-up El Camino? That's crazy. That's kind of sick, to be honest. The bottom, the new ones with the Mercedes, that Vatican, I knew that the tithing money at the Catholic Church was going to something good. A nice G-Wagon for the Pope. Jeez. A whited-out G-Wagon. That's unbelievable. That's pretty sick. Yeah, he's flexing in that bitch. Like, if Trump showed up in one of those, I would have a little bit more respect. His show. Shit is, I mean. Instead of just one thin layer of glass in front of him? Shit's not going to stop an airsoft gun? It's not going to stop a hookshot with a grenade. Yeah, exactly. Have they not taken that? They haven't taken account for the possibility of grenades? Grenades are. Yeah, Ralph Nader's are not going to be stopped. From the way the Knicks were shooting last night, though, nobody in New York was hitting Trump. Yeah, that's true. 38% chance, they're hitting him. Damn, bums. Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, we'll be right back. But first, a quick message from one of our partners. Hey, Alabama. Stella Blue Coffee's new canned lattes are here and in a store near you. Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee, each can is a good source of protein and comes in two smooth flavors, espresso cafe mocha and espresso sweet cream. Whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are the best. are for those. those always on the go, and for those who care. Stella Blue is more than just great coffee. It's about giving back. I named the brand after my rescue dog, Stella, who inspired our mission to help more dogs find their forever homes. Every purchase supports animal rescue organizations, so when you drink Stella Blue, you're not just fueling your day, you're saving a dog's life. Try the new cans today. Head to our store locator on StellaBlueCoffee.com and sign up to redeem a buy one, get one free offer. All right, now back to the episode. Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, we'll be right back, but first, a quick message from one of our partners. Stella Blue Coffee's new can lattes are here. And whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those always on the go and for those who care. Stella Blue. It's more than just great coffee. Taste the difference and make a difference. All new Stella Blue Coffee can lattes now available at StellaBlueCoffee.com or subscribe on Amazon for 10% off. What were you about to say, brother? Nothing. I don't really have anything more to say on the podcast. You're done? Well, I'm just saying I ran out months ago. Oh, okay. So sometimes I'll just say what's up. Yeah, yeah, nothing wrong with that. I saw that dude from the Spurs. Yeah, Luke Cornett. Luke Cornett. Another thing we were talking about before the episode that should have been totally fine. All good, all good. But you spanked it out of there. We, yeah. I saw Luke Cornett yesterday and I- Luke Hornet. What? What? What is his name? Luke Hornet. Luke Hornet? Luke Cornet. Isn't that what I said? Yeah. He's just- Luke Hornet. Just keep moving. Just keep talking. I'm just fucking- He's messing around. I guess I'll start over. Let's go back to the serious conversation about how you can't fathom one inch of glass. Let's do 15 more minutes on you not being able to- I'm going to show up for the podcast next week with a glass box around me. On my head. I'm just taking the next step, you know? Then you know what I'm going to do? Stab me in the chest. Fill it with sand. No. No farting it. Yeah. Like Steve-O. Yeah. There's going to be no bottom. It's just going to be kind of surrounding the face. Well, then I'm going to shoot you from underneath your chin. Good luck. So Harry texted us yesterday. He goes, I think I may have seen Luke Cornett on the street. On 7th Avenue. Well, I saw him yesterday before the podcast, but I never brought it up because I didn't want to be wrong. So here's my point, right? Luke Cornett is 7'3", and he was wearing Spurs gear three blocks from the garden when they're playing them. Head to toe. There's no chance it's anyone else. I didn't think he was on the Spurs. There's no Luke Cornett impersonator. I thought he was on the Celtics. He was. I know. I know. I thought he was still on the Celtics. I didn't know he was like one of the top guys in the league. It's kind of amazing, to be honest, that he has become actually a more important player on the Spurs because he was very sparingly used on the Celtics. Yeah, he was like a three point shooter on that. He like completely revamped his game due to injuries. But he's like the backup center. But I thought it was ballsy of him to be wearing Spurs gear. I'm surprised he didn't have throngs of a mob chasing him down the street. It was dude. The street was closed. It was literally. It was literally me, him and like two other dudes that were with him. How'd you get on the street? I just walked through the barrier. He was wearing Spurs gear. Yeah. Yeah. It was right next to like the hotel that they must be staying in. Ritz. I was like walking down the street and I was staring at him because he's seven feet tall. Naturally, eyes are glued to him and he was looking at me. And then I realized after he was looking at me because he thought I was going to like say something. I was staring at him. I wouldn't put a past big cornet to know who you are. No, no, no, not at all. I was like, the vibe was like knows you. The vibe was like I was passing them and they were all looking at me like, here we go. I can get the photos ready. Like it looked like I was like a fan. I was going to be like, hey, Luke, can I get a photo? Instead, you're the guy who's going to be like, you got you really have a passing resemblance. Yeah. Cornette. You ever think about playing basketball? Have you ever seen that center on the Celtics? Yeah. Luke Cornette. That's honestly how it kind of felt that way. And then I and then I did the podcast, got on the train, looked up the Spurs roster. And then I found him and I was like, oh, that was definitely him. I didn't even know it was Luke Spurs insignia on his chest and, you know, like I had a feeling that they had something to do with the team. You. So you're. Telling me you were like, golly, Celtics center. Luke Cornette is a Spurs fan. Yeah. I mean, I must have been going to the game. I just thought there's no way that was Luke Cornette. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see Wemby at the park sketching? Yeah. That's a little performative for me. A little performative for my liking. He's French. Doesn't matter. Yeah, it does. He's a basketball player. So what? He's not sketching anything. What was he sketching? You're saying in Central Park? There's a video of it. I think he was in the cool ass over and over again and like cubes. It's still the drawing equivalent of LeBron reading the first page of every Harry Potter book. He's in Gramercy Park. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, Gramercy Park. Well, that makes sense, right? Because then you got to have a special key to get in there. That's nice. Why is this? Why are you finding a way to hate on this? I don't mind. I don't mind that. I think it's performative. Why? Who is he performing for? That's a private park. So you can't. He's if he were in Central Park, I would say it was performative. But this park, he's seeking privacy. You think anybody having like any type of hobby privacy anywhere? I feel like once you're that height, privacy is out the window. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. No one's going to be like, oh, shit. Who's that nine foot guy walking? You know who else's privacy is out the window? Who is anyone? Someone else whose house he's walking by because he can quite literally see through their window. Yeah. He's peering into the skylight on top of someone's roof. He is a peeping Tom. Yeah. Every day. Yeah. I mean, going into like a public bathroom, he's probably right over the stalls. And not only that, but everyone's penis looks small because he's so far away from it. Yeah. Like if he pees at the urinal, his dick is higher than the divider. Yeah. Yeah. Then he has to go into the actual stall and he's so much taller than the stall. He's probably got his arms up on like the sides of the stall. At least he's good at basketball, though. There's some of these guys that are that height. Only if he gets this ring. He's only good if he gets this ring. Didn't he drop 30 last night? Doesn't matter unless you get the dub. No. He's pretty fucking good. There's a guy from Florida named Oliver Ryu who's like seven, eight. And he just, he can barely move. Like, imagine being like that. Well, will that happen to him? Like, will he get like, will he turn like 30 and he'll be like, I can't. I think he benefits. This is just my theory. From the fact that he's as lean as he is. Oh, really? Yeah. Because he doesn't carry so much weight and then therefore his joints aren't. He moves better than anyone, any seven footer ever. Yeah. He's lithe. It's pretty shocking. I just don't know how he hasn't got. I don't know how he hasn't got, got like injured. Well, he's 22. And again, look at this. Good come for him. He's kind of. I hope he doesn't, but. Gay? He's a bit gay. He's a little bit. Just drawing in the park. Yeah. He could suck his own dick. Like, that's a. Exactly. Pure. I can suck my own dick. I can suck my own dick move. This is praying mantis behavior. Yeah. What the hell? He's fly though. I'll give it to him. I have no hate in my heart. I like Wemby. Yeah. He's great for basketball. He's good. The Uber driver I had just kept on calling him the alien. He kept on being like that alien on the Spurs. Yeah. Smoking some tweed with the alien. Yeah. That guy with the Uber driver was a little, a little much for my liking. Yeah. I can't believe you were having a conversation with him. No, it got a little crazy. Started talking about like how he was going. Hang out with some girl who's pregnant and. Or no, she had, she just had a baby. And he said he was sucking one of the titties while the, while the kid was sucking the other. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. I swear to God. When was this? Sunday. What? Where were you going? I was, I had a rental car and I was dropping it off and Ubering back to my apartment. How long was the Uber? Like, how quick did he get to this? 12 minutes. What? Yeah. He's talking about sucking teeth. He's within 12 minutes? Yeah, I mean, he was joking around. I was howling laughing. I was screaming laughing. What nationality are we talking? Definitely Hispanic of some sorts. Yeah. Yankees jersey. The funniest. And then at the end, he was like, you got to make, you got to crack jokes, man. And I was like, amen. He's giving you career advice. Yeah. His jokes were funnier than mine by a lot, though. Yeah, he was sketchy. Like right in the scribbling, sucking one titty while she sucks the other. This is gold. Keep going. It was funny, too, because I couldn't really understand him fully. So like I'd get like every other word that when I was able to fully understand. Hard to miss. Yeah. How'd you get him going? Or he just started ripping? He just went. He was ready. Like I got in the car immediately. He's like, are you from New York? And I said, yes. Not really. I kind of thought he meant like, do I live in New York? And then we talked about the Knicks. For like a couple of minutes. I don't know anything about the Knicks. So I kind of was bullshitting my way through that. And then we started talking about titties, which I know a thing or two about. And we were able to get we were able to get a good flow going after that. Harry, have you ever have you ever smacked your penis against some titties? No, that's not. That's TMI. Way too TMI. You took it to another level. I thought this was a titty conversation. I thought this was a titty convention. I was enjoying the conversation until now. I'm screeching halt. Mission accomplished. Because it turns out you talking about titties made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to talk about them anymore. You got the job done for sure. Yeah. Put your bra back on. Boy. Boy. Oh, God. Get those titties out of my conversation. If Wemby had titties. He could smack his own dick against his own tits. The way that he's pliable. I bet he's got a tiny dick in comparison to the rest of his body. You know, I don't know. I've always heard Shaq's dick is gargantuan. The Shaq's kind of a little bit of a different breed than Wemby. What does that mean? Shaq's a beast. What the fuck does that mean? Wemby is tall and skinny. Shaq is tall and jacked. And massive. Did you see Shaq rubbing Ernie's back yesterday and his hand took up the entire back? Imagine being palmed by a person. Palmed in the back? Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. Picking him up like a claw at the fucking county fair. The claw. Yeah. It would be awesome if you were one of the, if you were a stand-up comic who's an Uber driver and you just ran your material on everybody that came in. I feel like that's such a good way to speak. Speed-run material. I know. Yeah, I felt like that's kind of what he was doing, but I always wonder, like, where do they get these stories, like, so quickly? Like, has he told that joke a thousand times? For sure. You think? For sure. Yeah, it's probably not one that you're just testing out on a 10-minute drive. He's like, oh, I'm going to play the hits. He was playing the hits. Yeah. New York crowd. I want to go up. I want to get a laugh in the first minute. I don't want to do anything too risky. Hooks us in with the Knicks talk. Something local, something topical. And then just gets into the dirty stuff. Quickly. Real quick. That's so nice. Francis, I'm going to Cafe Carmelini for lunch today. It's funny you say that, because I was just thinking about bringing up restaurants. Have you ever been there? No, I haven't. What's that about? Oh, I've heard about it. It's quite good, right? It's close. Why are you going for lunch? A friend of mine is in town. Taking a half day? No, I'm coming right back to work after. I'm taking a long day, actually. I have a 6 o'clock recording tonight. Oh, wow. Really? Right? I had a 10 p.m. recording last night. Brutal. Of what? Bush. You think we should get. So we have five episodes to record in Chicago next week. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy? Two on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday. Count me out. I'll let you boys fire up the old group chat with foreplay. See if they're off anywhere. And tag me in on that as well. Ron, you can handle those. All five. Five episodes. Because we have two for the week, and then three we have to bank for the time that we're off. For the fourth? What are the dates that we're off for the fourth? I think we have the whole month of July this year. I was going to say Jerry and Mook as a guest for one of them. Oh, yeah. Why not? Like a Bush episode. Yeah, that would be great. Let's do that. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, let's do that. We've got a lot to talk about. We've got a big meeting with Austin today, right after this. Why don't we do that on the Son of a Boy, Dad? Have Austin on, too. This is an off-camera meeting. Got to get angry. Yeah, awesome. It's going to be a get-angry meeting. Who's going to get angry? I think everyone. At him? Well, it's kind of like us versus Austin. That's how it usually is. Why? Just not seeing eye to eye on a couple things. That's the way their bank account's set up. He thinks that you guys are spending too much money? No, no. He thinks, well, yes. And we think the opposite. You think you're not spending enough? Yeah. What would you do with more money? Come on. Better players? No, no. We just really need the money to approve all the funding and everything for the majors. We need the money to approve the funding. There's a lot of ways that, there's a lot of things that it, I mean, I can talk about it a little bit, but I don't want to go too much into detail, but like, because it's an off-camera meeting. I thought there were no off-camera meetings. This is Barstool Sports, bro. Nothing's off-cam. Well, pretty much the thing is, is we have to have a budget for every single tournament that the players are going to. And then on top of that, we have to get that budget approved by Austin. But they don't let, Barstool doesn't let, like, we no longer handle the money from Bush. And there's a lot of revenue that comes in. Like, there's buyouts from players. There's tournament winnings. There's those two. Those are the two big ones, pretty much. So that's it. But like, so, and then obviously we have like ad deals. We have like, you know, like the Twitch subs, YouTube subscriptions, like all that. What, when you say buyouts for players, you're saying that like other teams will buy out the contracts of current players? Like professional teams will buy out the contract of our players and pick them up. How much are you getting for that? Uh, usually it's around $2,500. Oh. Per guy. Cool. Which doesn't sound like a lot of money, but it is a lot of money because that's like two people's full way there and back. Sure. For the team. So it's more so just like, we got to get on the same page of like where this money's going. Because like, we're bringing in all the money. Hypothetically, if we were like an independent organization and we weren't attached to Barstool, like all of that money would be used to fund the next trip. But like, it's a weird gray area. With Barstool, because we're paid salaries and stuff, so they don't want us to have the full access to that money. You make it seem as if, you know, given total control over the budget, you guys would manage it better and everything you want to get done would get done. Is there enough money coming in that you could send everyone to majors and do all those things? Yes. You know that for a fact? Yeah. Yeah, we have to do a full budget for every major. And I know how much money we bring in. Yeah, but that's with Barstool getting none of the money. Like, there's no cut for Daddy Dave in that circumstance. Well, the. Daddy Dave needs his cut. Well, they get the cut from all of the ad revenue. Like, from Kraken and Lucy. A cut. They get 100%. Yeah. Well, Daddy Dave needs to wet his beak on your shit, too. I just think like they, like, I don't care. Like, we don't care about the money. Like, I don't care about. I'm not looking to like walk away with $2,000. I think it's okay if you care about the money. I'm not saying you care that you get some. I'm saying you care where, how it's used. Yeah, more so I just, like, I think we just want more freedom to just, like, we know what to do. We know how to book everything. We plan out the full budget. Like, MOOC does like a full spreadsheet of like. Sure. But isn't it the case that, I mean, all I've heard, and again, sorry for being such a. No, I don't care. hater. I'm doing it to kind of clear up confusion. Yeah, I don't mind. Is it, from what I've seen, the issue that. The issue that has plagued you is that you guys never seem to adhere to your budget. That was more so just the Birmingham one. The Birmingham one was a little bit of a disaster, but there were also. Because of the car crash? The car crash, yeah. It was the car crash. Because the car crash, we rented two cars, which is a lot of money already, as you know, for a week. And you broke one of them. Broke one of them. On another car. On another car, which then, you know, of course, that adds up a little bit. I actually don't think that that was them. I think that was like 300 bucks or something. But then we had to Uber 40 minutes both ways every single day for a week. Because no one trusted you to rent you another car? No, because the only other car we had left was a 12-person van, which we had crashed the SUV, or the sedan, so I think everyone was like, maybe we don't drive the van around now. So we Ubered everywhere. That added up. And then, like, yeah, I mean, there were a couple other things that happened with the budget for that. But, like, for Atlanta. What were the other things? Nicky numbers, the flight situation. consideration jerry added him into the flight wasn't supposed to happen we're we're on to cincinnati we moved on from that but the the so yeah i mean that's pretty much it we went over budget with that but it wasn't like we didn't go crazy over budget also a lot of the stuff that we're paying for is coming out of pocket like i had to buy one of the coaches flights both ways didn't get expensed so there's like other stuff like that you did it yeah like we all split it with jerry and no because jerry has to pay the guy's salaries out of pocket holy smoke yeah and like mook bought the other coaches uh flight out of pocket why are you guys doing this what do you mean i mean just seem like you're funding it out of your own pocket that's the thing that we're trying to clear up is why are we funding it out of our own pocket when we're not getting any of the money and they're getting you the ad revenue as well what's austin gonna say to that uh he'll say like we'll shut it down or like that's not gonna happen he'll say either either you're paying it out of pocket or it's shut down he won't say it uh yeah i mean that's very very very likely yeah well you gotta you have to do what he says he's the boss well he's not my boss but oh yeah oh yeah i guess he's not well that's why the meeting i'm not like we can you know me and austin can get into it it's not a big deal it's a healthy conversation yeah are you nervous no not at all i don't think it's gonna go well i don't think we're gonna get what we want i told them i told jerry and mook last night i was like look there's either we're either this is either gonna go really well or it's gonna go exactly how we think it's gonna go i know austin's gonna enter the meeting with like a hooded cloak low over his head with his fingers tented and glide into the room yeah i mean austin i don't even think knows what the meeting's for we called the meeting content austin yeah or boss austin but this is boss austin got it so we'll see lots of stuff in the works yeah i can't fucking wait we got to have jerry and mook on let's do them on monday is that nice can we do some of the scheduling right now sure jerry and mook on monday it won't be that it won't be that bad to have some conversations with our friends no i'm excited to talk to them and we'll talk to nick and kb hopefully nick and kb maybe we could do them on tuesday or or maybe i'm thinking two on monday one on tuesday two on wednesday and then you guys can fly home fine with me okay you don't want to do two on tuesday two on tuesday sounds great why don't we do one on monday four on tuesday fly home because that's never worked for us ever why it's just six hours straight of potting um why don't we all just take a bunch of adderall and we'll just run for six hours and we'll cut it up at part six pass the mic yeah all right there's who's in now yeah that that sounds nice hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but 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pass-through may apply in illinois 21 plus in most states void in canada one football boost per customer maximum bet limits and wagering restrictions apply tokens are single use and expire at the end of the final select game each day when offered terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash promos all right now back to the episode what do you think about this harry i was thinking about this on the way in do you think that there's a space for sort of like a liberal version of tony hinchcliffe guy who's like just saying all kinds of unwoke stuff but like at his core is a democrat like it's weird because i feel like the i feel like liberal like super liberal people like if we're being honest would he get canceled would that person get canceled by his own 100 didn't the democrats like uh like twitter account call stephen miller a faggot or something like that oh it was like the official twitter account can someone look that up who i don't think i saw that like i think like the dnc like account i think that they're like my point is that they're dipping their toe into like uh forbidden language to be like hey like we can mix it up too but like the left does like so much like self-policing and i think so much of like the political identity is if you are farther than me to the right then you are a nazi you know and i think that that's every everybody kind of identifies as that yeah i was gonna say i feel like if you look at someone like as left as you can go at their core those people aren't really funny maybe it wasn't stephen miller you know it might have been someone else that they called a um a faggot but my yeah i don't know what what is your uh what what what made you think that like why why tony hinchcliffe it from kill tony or from roast stuff just just what he is and does is there a counterpart to that you're asking if there's a lib tony out there correct yeah hasan piker like a punk rock kind of like damn the fuck it you know you can't tell me what to say like start making really inappropriate like abortion jokes that are on the side of being pro-choice yeah yeah i guess that make i guess i could see that or or you know what i mean yeah like instead of like or like calling homophobes nazis like they're the enemy in a way where it's like if i see a homophobe on the street i say we fucking string them up yeah yeah i mean like yeah if i see anyone intolerant on the street i'm gonna fucking kill them yeah no i mean i get what you're saying i i think you try to tell me who i can't love i'll kick the shit out of you you know wins bitch yeah i mean i think you're looking for there's a war right now yeah on who i'm allowed to love i think and i'm here to say i am ready i want all this smoke the problem is is like is there anyone that thinks that's funny though like because like i get like kill tony what i don't know we could call them war libs war war libs yeah like i could see like mark maron maybe going you know mark maron's too fucking righteous this is my point like you can't you can't like you're looking for an offensive lib yeah yeah the thing is though the shit that like libs are what would a lib it it totally goes against what we know them to be but there may there may be i'm wondering if there's a space to galvanize like fucking pissed off lesbians there's a term that you're looking for you know who are ready to fucking i'm sick and tired of this soft bullshit me and this army of fucking women strong rugby women and then and then a bunch of like fucking rock and roll gays i'm trying to think if that march down the streets and and call everyone retards it's kind of mad rife in a way in college we used to call people homophobic faggots and that kind of was like the i think that that's what you're looking for yeah i mean i think that works i just don't know what the like how it could be funny you might you also might limit your audience to an incredibly niche like the most like the most niche group you know i will say though right so you're looking for like the the meme that's like the one friend that's too woke but they're like i don't even know really like i don't know exactly what i'm clearly imagining a mythical beast because this does not exist i don't think you are i think this does exist i will tell you so unfunny that people like they just don't take off you don't you just laughed at everything i said yeah because you were saying it in a funny way well there you go if you were serious doing those jokes on stage i'll be like what the fuck is this so maybe you think if i went on stage and i was like i saw a homophobe the other day You know, but and I said to myself, that guy clearly can't take a dick. I don't know. Something like wrote an actual joke. I don't know what it what it was funny because it's you saying if that was like a guy on. So maybe why am I not the guy? Yes. Why not? Why can't I? Because you can't be the guy. I'll move to Portland, Oregon. I'm opening a comedy show or a comedy club in Portland, Oregon. That's going to be it's an unsafe space. Anything goes. I think you could do it as long as you don't hate on gay people or try to protect right to life. I mean, I don't know what it is. I don't know exactly what it is. I don't think you can be the guy. I think it would be too obvious that like you're doing it as a joke and to be like you would be too obvious. Like this is funny. Like you would be like it would actually be funny. We're talking like we need a guy who's up there like dead serious. And like those are his jokes. Like his joke. The big punch line is like, if you're homophobic, I'm going to string you up. I was pissing in the U.S. I was pissing at a U.S. FC fight the other day and I looked over the urinal and I was like, oh, boy, I can tell you like small government. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Something like that. Yeah. And then everyone's like. All right. Yeah, that's it. That's the end of it. It's not going to work. I think it could. I think you might be the guy. You were Bowen Yang, I think, is the guy. No, no, no. Bowen Yang. Bowen Yang is like aware and funny. Like he has like the ability to like we need a guy that's just not funny. Yeah. The problem is, is I'm also just not liberal enough. I don't. Not too lit. Not live enough. No character. Can't imagine that side. Maybe, you know, maybe I'm a wild card. Maybe I'll spend half the year in fucking Portland and half the year in Austin. I like it. That I think has that. I think you have potential to be a household name. Oh. One night. You never know what you're going to get. It's almost like a modern day Andy Kaufman. Yeah. I think if you were to go and you were to be like, make yourself known as like, I'm the biggest panderer comedian on the planet. Like you go to Portland and you have blue hair on stage and you're like the, like you're just the biggest lib on the planet. And then you go to Texas and you're a full on racist. My pronouns are fuck and you. Yeah. Yeah. Cause then you, you go everywhere. People are like that Francis Ellis guy. He's great. And then, but the footage would emerge. Now that's where you would run into issues. And they'd be like, that's not, that's not what I know. I wasn't, that's not Francis. Yeah. There's no, it couldn't be. It can't be. But who cares? Who cares though? If you, whoever shows up, if they know that they're going to get an affirming show, something that affirms their beliefs, then it could work. Got to be really nimble. I think we can make a whole documentary about this. That would be funny. Actually, that would be funny. Yeah. Of pandering. Pandering comedian. To the most extremes. Yeah. And then like, like somehow reveal it to the people that are now fans that you've done this. Without them knowing. Yeah. You'd have to. Yeah. Like maybe one of the clubs puts up the wrong poster or something. You know, maybe when you go to Portland, they accidentally put up a poster of you with your cowboy hat on. And it's like a big deal. Yeah. Like fans in Portland are outraged. Yeah. This isn't the Francis we know. Yeah. People will call you out for being a hypocrite, but like. But that's the whole thing. That's feeble. I think calling someone a hypocrite is like a feeble criticism. Yeah. Everybody's hypocritical. Like when politicians start calling each other hypocrites or one side starts calling the other side hypocritical. Like, yeah, of course. Yeah. That's like what you've never gone back on your word. What? You've never changed your mind. And the defense to that as well. I have new information now. Yeah, exactly. I got new information. Well, I didn't have the intel I had then that people from Texas like this kind of thing. Yeah. What was making you think this? I think it's like people have brought it up before. Like, you know, everyone's always like we need a left Rogan. Yeah, fine. But like, you know, there are so many left leading comedians and it tends to always follow a certain. What about like Stavros? Yeah. Yeah, he's a good one. He's like left leaning, but he's also very funny and aware. Looks like like not. Yeah. Like it's not like preachy from him. Like, I think the biggest thing with like the lib comedian. You're right. Stav has already done it and he's way better than I am. So I give up on this. No, no, no. But he's not pandering. You could do it. This is the big thing is that you're pandering. Right. Call it the the Frandering tour. Yes. Frandering. Frandering. Frandering. Yeah. See, that's what we were looking for. And no one knows what it means until they get there. Right. Like, where am I? Houston. You know, I saw the ice guys at the airport and I said, good job, boys. Yeah. I love that's a good opener. Yeah. That's a real you're standing ovation. You have to be worried about the liberal pockets of cities like that, though. Like you might have to go an hour outside. Where it's real red blooded Americans because Waco. Yeah. Cities like cities like that do have like like Birmingham. You know what I mean? Like Alabama, Red State, Birmingham, Blue City. Yeah. I think this is like I think the tour like we could map out the full tour date. Like, I think it's got to be on. It's got to be back and forth. So it's like number one. First date, Portland. Date to Oxford, Mississippi. You don't think we finished the lips? And then go? I think you have to fully transform yourself every night of the tour. Every night? Yeah. Become a new man. Start wearing like go to go to the Red States and wear like a fat suit. Yeah. Full transformation. Yeah. Tattoo, you know, Confederate flag tats. Temporary. I think you could go as far as using a different name on both. I'm Frank in the Red States. Frank in the Red States. I think you announced two separate tours. Francis and Francois. No, no. Francisco in the blue. I love it. And you announced them at the exact same time. And it's just every other day. But like no sides are hurt because they only see like one of the tours. It's like Oxford, fucking Huntsville, Nashville. All these red cities. I don't even know if Nashville is a red city, but it probably isn't. But you know, you get what I'm saying. Yeah. Houston. Houston. Dallas. Dallas. And then the other side is San Diego, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle. Yes. Yes. I'm for this. You just would have to get two acts. That's all. And you just go back and forth with two acts and then sprinkle a little local shit at the beginning, just like any other show. Or, and hear me out. I don't do any of this. Because it sounds utterly exhausting and probably not that lucrative. Yeah, no, it's a pretty bad idea. Extremely lucrative. Everybody eats. Terrible idea. I'm glad we fleshed it all the way out. I'm glad we saw it. We saw it through. You know, we saw the end of it. Yeah. We saw what its full potential could look like. Yeah. I think I'm ready to give up. On the podcast? No, no, no. Just in life? This is all I've got. My career. Yeah, I'm ready to be done. You're hanging it up? What are you going to do instead? I don't know. Life coaching. Read. Not a bad idea. Get a course going. I'm ready. I'm really enjoying this book I'm reading. Bo, if you're listening, this is for you. It's called The Sun by someone. Oh, God, that sounds good. Richard Foster, maybe? Rick. He also wrote American Rust, which I haven't read. This is about a kid who wrote The Sun. Nathan Foster. Nathan Foster. It's about a kid who gets he's growing up on the frontier in like the 1850 and his family in his house gets like marauded by Comanches and he gets taken as like a slave and then raised in the Comanche world. And it's but he's like pretty badass himself. So they see that he's worth not killing and like bringing into their fold. And. I'm really enjoying it. It's awesome. He goes from being a slave to being like a cop guy. They I don't I think he becomes a soldier. I haven't I'm only 100 pages in. But yeah, they like and he doesn't really know his identity. He can't like decide because he's a white guy, but he's like riding around with the Comanches and killing white men. Twelve years of Comanche. A willing. Frandering. Comanche. Yeah. Yeah. All that Frandering. Do you think that if that was you, you would be so you would like play the long game and like you would just get turned into a vicious killer and wind up like like skin in the heads of the Comanche for what they did to your family? Or would you just be fully assimilated? I think I would go full race trader immediately. Get get Stockholm syndrome. Yeah. Same. I would I would do anything I could to to make them like not kill me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. White devil has struck again. Yeah. yeah be one of the comanches yeah i mean once you're once you're one of the guys you're not turning on the pack yeah no once you're a savage until the whites develop the like six shot pistol and really turn the tides against the comanches now we're fucked and then i'd go over and be like hey boys uh bad news they've been holding on to me for 14 years i could never escape but here i am yeah i'll tell you their secrets now you all you've got is fucking swords yeah and bow and arrows they had to shoot the bullets out of the air this early scene in the book where they kill they kill a buffalo and they bring it back and they like cut open the stomach of the buffalo and there's curdled milk in the stomach of the buffalo and the comanches want him as a kid to to drink it because that's what they do you and he knows they want him to do it because they think it will give him strength and he'll yeah become valuable so he goes to drink it but it's like he he forces himself to keep it down even though he's like throwing up in his own mouth and it pleases them and then they like take out the intestine and like uh start eating it raw oh and and they like sprinkle from the bowels like the the juice oh to season it i thought you're gonna say salt no no he's way like eating blood yeah that's disgusting it's really tough i'm out on this book i was in now i'm out nathan foster how did this honky get these ideas about the comanche i wonder he's the mighty comanche the comanches came to him and spoke tell them that we eat the fucking blood tell them we use blood as seasoning tell them we use curdled milk his brother his brother won't do it they take his brother too and his brother is this bookish guy who dreamt of going to harvard swear to god oh no and he's he won't do it and uh they end up killing his brother this is early in the book and uh and i was like oh that would have been me yeah yeah i'm not drinking this shit do you have perrier yeah no shot i'm drinking that do you have any idea how many parasites there are in the stomach of a bison yeah yeah that's disgusting yeah it's a good book though huh it's really good yeah i'm enjoying it i love watching a flick about the the mighty comanche or some some indian tribes what was there was like a kevin costner movie dances with wolves no it was like a more recent one i think that maybe he i don't know if he directed it seven samurai um but it it uh details some the rookie oh that's what it was the rookie where he had a fucking oh field of dreams where they are fighting with a tribe over the cornfield horizon tribe of the corn horizon dreams is a banger i thought it was a banger bull durham that was his that was his indian name yeah i guess it was sitting bull durham he does he's done a lot of movies like about the old west yeah i thought this is a decent plane watch it's not like a banger three hours it's a plane watch 6.6 three hours i tried to watch it three hours i tried to this movie crime 101 was not very good that sounds really bad just right off the title great cast ruffalo hallie really keegan chris chris chris is in it very unbelievable cast it's a good guess i don't like that barry cogan guy whatever his name is though you don't like barry cogan yeah i think i don't like him at all why is that uh i think saul burns one of the worst movies i've ever seen i don't like barry cogan i don't like barry cogan i don't like barry cogan ever well because you're deeply homophobic correct that and uh leave this fucking bitch was dog shit too and you have penis envy because you saw barry keegan's fucking i don't even remember seeing his penis yeah because you've wiped it from your memory like a woman who gives birth and doesn't realize how traumatic it was so she can give birth again i think salt burn is like if you were to trail down the downfall of society i think it begins with salt burn i think that's the start just because he's slurped to come this man can't slurp come without your stamp of approval no they i mean they just stole um the talented mr ripley and just made it like a perverted gay movie that sounds pretty new no because talented mr ripley was already a perverted gay movie it was pretty gay but it was like not it wasn't really in your face you know like i don't mind a little gay salt burn i'm homophobic salt burn made me homophobic strictly towards barry cogan or whatever this would be a great time for your yeah anti-homophobic comic to to emerge yeah except that uh yeah i'd be doing crowd work i'd be like uh look at this guy in the front row looks like a homophobe bet he didn't like salt burn what do you do for a living to a comedy show i bet you work on a crab boat fucking bitch have you ever ever seen a guy trying so hard to look straight he's you just make him on a blue collar guys yeah yeah i guess there are sneakily blue collar uneducated what what are the tropes of like uh the angry lib lib i don't know who who dislikes you know you you i think like it's automatic like i think what you were like said about the south like people super lib people think that the south is like incestuous that's a big one true yeah they think liberals are incestuous no they think that the people that live in the south are always banging their siblings yeah yeah which i think it's probably pretty uncommon probably probably close to nobody i don't know i don't know how often that happens definitely not as much as people think or maybe it's more maybe it's more than people think who knows yeah well now you're lowering the threshold of how much people think it's maybe it's more i knew from a very young age that i was not to have desire for my sister because we grew up in the northeast of course where that was found in schools yeah but i know a lot of people from the south that i think have also they also know that not not as many they haven't it hasn't come across their desk yet i don't think it has i think it's made its way down to the south yeah you say that not all parts not the bayou now i think it's made its way to the bayou the bayou doesn't even have ice all right i'm talking about like cubes not uh the force all right all right wait a minute no wait a minute wait a second we need a palette cleanser we got to end a little stronger than that no a little something come on what do you got how's your diarrhea how's that been my diarrhea is good i've been taking good shits been eating a lot of fiber fiber gummies too okay yeah supplementing good good good feeling healthy feeling strong what else nothing you got nothing going on anything anything fun that you're looking forward to no i mean going fishing soon planned out the trip last night how long are you guys going to go for i think three days four days yeah this feels very familiar to the last time we talked about it yeah yesterday a day ago that was yesterday um okay well you cooking anything good francis i made some cod last night oh yeah i made some good cod little fish and chips no no i didn't and if you were to make fish and chips you would probably use cod i would do i would do i heard cod is one of the most nutrient-dense fishes as far as protein and creatine content dude every time i go to the monger and i get cod i say i want a pound and they're like okay here's a pound they always go a little over it was 1.13 last night i said that's fine then i brought it home and i cooked 1.13 pounds of cod and thought i'll eat half of this and then have the rest tomorrow yeah sure didn't how much did you eat the whole 1.13 pounds holy shit what size did you have or sauces uh i marinated it in dijon mustard lemon olive oil paprika a little bit of garlic um and then i put lemon slices over the top put it in the top rack of the oven at 450 for about 10 minutes and then i did some uh fresh parsley on top that sounds delicious i mean cod's cod's light yeah i did uh for sides i did broccolini and um i did some roasted carrots as well you can't say cod's light if it's over a pound of it i mean how like how many plates would you say that was that's probably enough fish for about four people three to four people how long did it take you to eat 15 minutes light i put it away dude i think i could do it i think i'm up for the test next video the great cod off yeah the great cod off oh like a cod like call it i'm gonna bring cod to the next major 1v1 cod and it's just you guys both eating a fucking 1.13 pound alright who's ready to come in second place this is my mom's recipe oh why don't you put that keyboard away I'm definitely down for that the cod 1v1 nice alright well that was really funny I think we can end it on the cod 1v1 I think that's the big finale the cod off is really really funny we were looking for something and we found it it's like an improv when they're like when they run around to end the scene I want that on viva I want that on the main page spot on you'll have to send that to those people yeah alright we'll see you guys next week I will be in Wilmington North Carolina at the dead crow comedy club room tomorrow or not tomorrow next week Friday Saturday four shows you can find the tickets on my Instagram or on the dead crow comedy club room website thank you