01. Awful Little World

Speaker 4 Hey Dad, what's up? Speaker 3 Hey kiddo, you know those special socks are what I'm supposed to yeah? Speaker 4 I'm at the drugstore right now. Speaker 3 What I was about? Speaker 4 To go get them and I beat you. Deal with it A. Speaker 3 Man in my condition no fair. Speaker 4 Just focus on the exercises Dr. Ramos gave you. Just follow the plan. Speaker 3 And the plan? Speaker 4 Plans are good. What's your color for the socks? There's like a million options. Speaker 3 Don't you need to get to Arkham, your boss? Speaker 4 I'm going straight from here. So what'll it be for Simon? Speaker 3 Just great. It's fine. Speaker 4 I'll see you tonight. I'll bring dinner. Bye. Speaker 1 Rundfeld. Where's Quinsel? Not to hear. Speaker 5 Apparently self-care day. Briefing same time every day. Speaker 1 It's not that hard the younger generation, you know. Speaker 5 Not time. Speaker 4 I'm sorry I had to get the socks for my dad, but there was a holdup at the drugstore. Speaker 5 They stopped taking food stamps or something. Speaker 4 No, I mean held up like at gunpoint. Guy in green spandex kept sticking out his tongue. Speaker 1 Let me guess, calls himself the Gecko. We hear some sticky. Speaker 5 Fingers don't tell Batman were full already. Speaker 1 But you know, I I respect you, Harley. Truly. I really, really do. You do that urban life elbow to elbow with the untouchables, snout in the through. Couldn't handle it myself. Speaker 4 Should we get started? Speaker 5 As your supervisor, I'll okay let's get started. We'd like to go first. Speaker 4 I could, unless Bob. Speaker 1 If you know that, please, please take it away. Speaker 4 OK, first we have Philip R who joined us at Arkham five months ago. His biggest hurdle at the moment is the hyper vigilance connected to his synesthetic delusion. Speaker 5 This is the finger guy. Speaker 1 I'm sorry, finger guy. Speaker 4 He believes his optic nerve is channeled to his hands giving. Speaker 5 Him medication. Speaker 4 Buspirone for anxiety, but he's responding really well to dialogue. Speaker 5 Centric. Let's keep it moving. Speaker 4 Okay. Speaker 1 Next is Natalia Kay, who insists that our sessions be held in complete darkness, which has been difficult. You know, we're trying to eliminate their delusions, right? We're not playing along in fantasy, right? Speaker 4 Sure. Speaker 5 Yes, what Bob said. She's on close opinion. Speaker 4 Well, yes, but I don't think that. Speaker 5 No, fortunately you don't need to think. All you need to do is follow my 3 point discharge rubric 1. Do they understand the moral implications of their crime? Two can they control their impulses? No biting, No stabbing. The basics 3 Do they have the life skills to effectively reenter society? Check those three boxes and resend them straight to the discharge board. Speaker 4 That's. Speaker 5 Moral implications? Impulse control? Life Skills, Bingo, Bango Bongo. Speaker 4 It's extremely short sighted. You're asking me, I'm. Speaker 5 Asking you to do your job. Which you might not have if the Wayne Foundation pulls its funding. Maybe you don't need a paycheck. Who knows? Speaker 4 No, no, I'm not saying that. I don't. Speaker 5 I didn't think so. Now Bob, what do you have for us? Speaker 1 Maximilian Z Model Compliance after the ECT course called D still a total basket case. Waylon Jay Heavily sedated until, well, let's face it, probably ever. Speaker 4 Have you tried engaging? Speaker 1 Last guy who tried engaging with Whalen got his hand chewed. Speaker 4 Right, but. Speaker 5 I have to back Bob on that. Well, the closer Whalen is to eggplant status, the safer we all are now. As you might have heard, we've got two new chickies in the over stuffed 10 house, courtesy of our caked provider. First, there's Arnold W, caught shaking down a taffy stand on the boardwalk where he was employed as a what was a puppeteer? Something. Anyway, Standard disassociative identity disorder Won't talk. Won't he refuse his treatment? Classic shake and bake case if you ask me. Next, but you may have read about this guy in the news. Pretentious St. performer turned self-proclaimed agent of Chaos. Keen on large scale pranks and goofs. Preferred medium TNT. Real name is currently unknown, so we are going with Patient J for now. Speaker 4 You mean the Joker? Speaker 5 Miss Gwenzell, you know the Arkham policy forbids, right? I'm sorry, the identities alter egos, they only serve to reinforce the patient's psychosis. Speaker 4 Understood. Speaker 5 In any case, patient J has been processed and is now awaiting evaluation. Speaker 4 I'd be happy to. Speaker 1 BE That's very kind of you to volunteer, but given all the media attention, this might be more of a Bob type situation patient. Jerry. He's a devious little bastard. Thrives on attention. The more you give to him, the stronger you become. Speaker 4 I've dealt with malignant narcissists before. Speaker 1 Not like this guy. Trust me, one little bat of the eyelashes and boom, you're trapped inside his awful little room. Speaker 4 Did you just? Speaker 5 Think Doctor Quinzell. Patient J's got Bob written all over him. Speaker 4 It's just he could be the key to understanding what's happening to Gotham. Speaker 1 What's happening to Gotham? Speaker 4 I mean, look at Arkham. Two years ago, this place was just another underfunded psych ward. Chronic depressive schizophrenics, the usual. Now we're packed floor to ceiling with these. What are they calling them? Super villains? Masks, Capes. Catchphrases. It's like a whole new class of delusional behavior. Where is all this coming from? I mean, doesn't it seem at all weirdly? Speaker 5 Different undies. Speaker 1 Now can we please let us continue? I'm reverted. Speaker 4 It's like Gotham's infected with some kind of psychological contagion, and patient J's the perfect case study. His crimes aren't about money or revenge. They're about him, His persona. But he's building a brand. Speaker 1 All the more reason he needs a firm touch. Speaker 4 He needs to be studied, not pulverized. Speaker 1 Zero Speaker 1 tolerance. Speaker 1 Shake Speaker 1 him Speaker 1 up, Speaker 1 pop Speaker 1 the Speaker 1 top, Speaker 1 and Speaker 1 let Speaker 1 that Speaker 1 soda Speaker 1 go. Speaker 4 If I can understand what makes him tick, there might be. Speaker 5 Again, this really is a Bob touch situation, but the puppet guy. Speaker 4 Ventriloquist, Arnold W. Speaker 5 Right. He seems like a good fit for you, don't you think? Speaker 4 So Arnold, is it OK if I call you then how are you feeling today? Do you want to add anything to that or? Speaker 6 What do you want from me? Speaker 4 I'm just here to. Speaker 6 Listen well, Enjoy. Speaker 4 Look, I know this setting can make it difficult to really open up, so. Speaker 6 No, no, this is the perfect place to talk about feelings. I mean, how about I take away everything you love, the one thing that gives your life meaning, zip you into an arm and suit and toss you in an asylum cell next to a muscle balanced oath? Who keeps you up all night with the sound of his meaty fist pounding a portrait of the Batman he's drawn on the wall with his own feces? Now go on, go on, Tell me about your feelings. Speaker 3 Please do go on. Speaker 4 What do you love? Speaker 3 What? Speaker 4 You said take away everything you love. What did they take from you? What was it? Speaker 6 Am I required to sit here for the full hour? Speaker 4 It says here you were apprehended with some a puppet. Speaker 6 It's a dummy. Speaker 4 Is that what they took from you? Speaker 6 Maybe. Speaker 4 That gave you meaning, that hobby, The Ventrilo. Speaker 6 It's not a hobby, it's. Speaker 1 Go on to get it. Speaker 4 It's a friendship. Is that more accurate? Speaker 6 What difference does it make? Speaker 4 Arnold, I'm here to help. I'm wait, hold on here. Speaker 6 What's this? Speaker 4 Compression socks. Speaker 6 I can see that. What do you expect me to do with them? Speaker 4 Try them on. Speaker 6 I'm already. Speaker 4 Wearing on the. Speaker 6 Hand Well, fine. Speaker 4 Hey, Dad. Speaker 1 Hey. Speaker 4 She returned here. Catch. Speaker 3 Ah, my socks. Thank God. Speaker 4 And I picked up some pad Thai. Speaker 3 This one of these socks missing, it's. Speaker 4 A long story. Speaker 3 So that was work. Anyone else get their head and bit No. Speaker 4 Hand. That guard only lost her hand. Speaker 3 Just then corrected, you've got that Taser pen I gave you, right? Speaker 4 Yes, Dad. Speaker 3 Charged then ready. Speaker 4 Yes, Dad. Speaker 3 And you're happy this way. Making gas station wages to babysit a bunch of violent nut chops. Speaker 4 Nothing's going to change if we don't at least try to understand them just. Speaker 3 Don't say Marlene. Huh. Patron St. of lost causes. Remember how you used to play psychiatrist on your mother? Speaker 4 And me you'd ever let me forget. Speaker 3 Asking us all these questions about our past, pending US paper cups with Tic Tacs in them. You thought you could fix this? Speaker 4 I thought I could fix her. Speaker 3 No one can fix her. The point is, I knew even back then my Harlene was going to do big things. You're going to be running that place one day. Speaker 4 Don't hold your breath. Speaker 3 What do you mean? Speaker 4 Nothing. Nothing. Forget it, Harlene. It's fine, Dad. Everything's fine. Speaker 3 Interesting. So tell me more. Speaker 4 Is that what you think I do all day? Speaker 3 Well, you're getting sleepy. Very. Speaker 4 Sleepy is that? Are you a hypnotist now? Speaker 3 Hey, wait, whatever it takes. Speaker 4 OK, OK. It's just, yeah, well, sometimes they make me feel like, well, like I'm eating it, you know, putting the cookie jar on the high shelf. Speaker 3 I know it. Those sons are bitches. Speaker 4 Dad, it's no big deal. I've got it covered. Let me. Speaker 3 Just say one. Speaker 4 Oh, one thing. Speaker 3 You're smarter than them. Those fancy psychiatrists, your boss, whoever. Speaker 4 All of them. You've never even met them. Speaker 3 I've met you. That's all I need. You just got to show them. Step up and take what's yours. Speaker 4 God don't I. Speaker 3 Very sleepy. Speaker 4 I'll get it. I'll get it. Hello. Oh, Doctor Ramos. Hello. Right, Hold on. Let me let me just put you on speakerphone, Nick. Speaker 3 Hi, Doctor Ramos. Speaker 2 Hi, So your scans do show cancer as expected, but it's still localized. Speaker 3 Localized. Speaker 2 Being operable as long as we can get in there soon. Speaker 4 OK. Yes, let's, let's do that. We. Speaker 2 Can schedule a surgery as soon as you place a down payment. Speaker 4 Hold on, let me just. Hi. Oh. How much do you think? Oh, wow. No, of course I I completely understand. Yeah. No, no. If that's the best option, we want it of course. Thanks. OK. Speaker 3 So what's the damage and don't? Speaker 4 Worry about it? Hardly. You worked double shifts at the factory to put me through grad school. Now it's my turn. Listen, I. Speaker 3 Know what you're making over there, Dad. Speaker 4 I'll figure it out. Speaker 3 Look, you're just starting to spread your wings. You can't be chained to an old man on his deathbed. Speaker 4 Quit it with that. OK, we are going Speaker 5 Oh, Arlene, good. Speaker 4 Morning Mr. Grandfather. Speaker 5 Where's Bob? Speaker 4 Oh, I'm not sure. Speaker 5 Must be finishing up with the with Patient J, Yeah, Patient J. It's weather, right? Something. Speaker 4 It's really something, yeah. Speaker 5 Something. Speaker 4 Maybe we should get started. Speaker 1 There's his file. Speaker 5 Wow, Bob, what are you? Did you forget your happy bills this morning? Speaker 1 It's your problem now. Speaker 5 I'm sorry, who are you talking about? It's patient. Speaker 1 He cannot be. Speaker 5 Killed Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. What happened in there? What about shake him up and popped his up? Speaker 4 He He is the disease. Speaker 1 Look, send him to Blackie before he infects everybody in here. Speaker 5 No. Speaker 1 Well, that would be a little tricky in terms of paperwork, you know, so all those things, he said. I'm, I'm a good person, right? I know I've made certain mistakes, but I I keep. Speaker 5 Are you crying? Speaker 1 I deserve to. Speaker 5 Live I Bob. Speaker 1 I'm going to leave now. Speaker 5 Bob, Bob, you. You. Speaker 1 You can't just get wrong. You know, everything. My whole. Speaker 5 Life, Bob, please. Speaker 1 There is no Bob anymore. Good boy. Speaker 5 No, that's great. That's perfect. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Speaker 4 I'll take him. Speaker 5 But. Speaker 4 Patient J I'll take. Speaker 5 Did you not just see what happened? Bob is the best we got. Speaker 4 Someone's got to do it right. Speaker 5 I can't let you in there. Speaker 4 Unless you want to take him yourself. Speaker 5 Yeah, well, that's that's not. You know what? Fine, here's the file. Speaker 4 Sorry. This one's Hello, Patient J. Speaker 1 but for his skin. Could I Could I get a hug? Speaker 4 A hug? Speaker 1 I don't think about it. Please. Speaker 4 I'd like to begin. Speaker 1 Look at you. Speaker 5 Look. Speaker 6 At. Speaker 1 You. Speaker 8 Bob wasn't. Speaker 1 Fun. Speaker 6 Appetizer, but you. Speaker 1 Throw me a bit, pass me the tartar sauce, but it's supper Aaj Kay.