Atsuko Okatsuka

Hi, I'm Otsuko Katsuko and I feel honored and a little suspicious about being Conan O'Brien's friend. What does this suspicion come from? It's too good to be true. It's really not when you get to know me. Hey there, welcome to Conrad Ryan Needs A Friend, joined as always by Sonom of Sessian. Hello. Wow. That was. Hello. Hi, I'm Otsuko Katsuko. And Matt Gourley and I'm happy I've got a bubblegum cigarette. Yeah. Puffs like candy puffs cigarette. Yeah, it's got a little powdered sugar in it. David Hopping from my birthday gave me a bunch of boxes of candy cigarettes and yeah, it looks like smokes coming out because you blow a little powdered sugar. But sometimes I have them hanging out of my lip. They're just up in my office. He gave me a lot of them. I'll be honest with you. Do you look cool? I think it looks super cool. I think you do kind of look cool. Yeah. And you know, I'm always kind of fascinated with smoking because it would be a great prop. It would be a great thing to have. Also I like all the accoutrements that go with the cigarette. Yeah. You know, the really cool lighters and maybe that little, you know, art deco cigarette case. The one that stops a bullet. Yes. Yes. It's like too many movies. And I always think. I've never seen a movie. Yeah. So I've been trying to gauge when I can start smoking. Now listen, let me go out of my way to say people don't smoke. You shouldn't smoke. No one's smoking. It's bad to smoke. But you want to time it with when? I want to time it. I feel the same about heroin. Yeah. I'm serious. Yeah. Well, you know, people, these amazing experiences and you think, I don't know when I start to get, you know, to within a certain amount of time before my, my, my clock is going to run out. Yeah. I'm not smoking. And maybe I'd be a really cool looking old guy who's smoking and I have a really neat, like sort of gold done hill lighter from London and I have this little case of cigarettes and I pop when I got on going on the side of my lip and it's hanging off right there and people are like, wow, he's really cool and he's going to die very soon because he's old. But what do we think? Is that something that's viable? I mean, I don't think I'll do it, but it's like if you get diagnosed with something terminal, like when you're like 85 90. Is that what you mean? Then you'll start, then you'll take up smoking, but the minute you're diagnosed with something like that, they're like, you know, no, this medicine we're giving you. There's still a chance. They never say you're like, they never say there's still a chance. They never say there's still a chance. For 55 years, if you smoke these unfiltered, so you're I mean, so I get to enjoy smoking a cigarette for a really long time. I see. Okay. And trust me, I think I would hate inhaling smoke. What I basically do want is a more convincing bubble gum cigarette. And I want a lighter. It puts a little extra sugar powder on my cigarette. It caramelizes it. It caramelizes my bubble gum cigarette. You don't want to smoke. You just want the accessories that come with smoking. That's what you're saying. But like you actually want to take up smoking. I want those something hanging out of my lip that I can play around with. Do little tricks. I can blow smoke. What? Wheat? I don't know. Wheat. Wheat. A piece of straw like a farmer. Truth pick doesn't. Wheat. Oh, that's the same. Yeah, I love it. If all my noir detective movies had hungry Bogart chewing on some wheat, it's the opposite effect. Yeah. And he's like, I have all the games to walk into my place. He walks into mine. Look at those games. Chomp, chomp, chomp. What is he? A horse? I could wait. I'm just thinking other things that can hang out of your mouth. That can be acceptable. Yeah. And the first image I could in my mind was wheat that a farmer does. No, we are Rootabega. Do you like Kobe? A match stick. Kobe. A match stick. Like cobra. Yeah. That is a match stick really looks like you're trying hard. Yeah. Well. So you think heroin for you. I mean, we're talking. And again, this is we're telling people you can't do it. You can't do these things. These things are terrible. We're just talking about when you've got a very short amount of time left for the things we would do. I've never done hard drugs, but I would love when I'm at Destor to know what heroin feels like because everybody that talks about it, every movie I've seen. No, no, no, no. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. You don't think heroin is a magical experience? Haven't you seen Train's Body? You go through a toilet. It did not end well. I just, I just know that it looked like a whole thing looked. The only thing that's disgusting is that you're the only guy that looks at Train's Body is aspirational. Wow. I could hang out in a really grimy Scottish bathroom with a bunch of skinheads. No, I'm talking about the upswing of heroin and you have none of the bad stuff after because you're dead of natural causes. Okay. This is so dark. Please be the voice of reason and say I have a bubble gum cigarette and I think there's nothing cooler than that. A bubble gum heroin. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Well, that's that is good. I know what I would do. I can't think of anything that I'm like, I want to try that. You mean just before you go? Yeah. I think if you were told you had maybe a month to live, you would say, I want a whole room filled with humus. Don't you think? Because you love humus. I could do that now. That's true. It's good for you. It's garbanzo bean. No, but a whole room. Yes. I want a whole room. And a roll around it. It would be like just all the bad food you're not supposed to eat. All the steaks, all the candy, all the chocolate, but you know what? No one does that. No one does it. On death row, they do when they get their last meal. Fried chicken. Yeah. You are dark today. Look at you. Go. You're a very dark, dark blend today. They are. A heroin. And I'll be on death row. You thought about this. You're on heroin in your back pocket. What about this? What if they, there was a restaurant called death row. And you go and there's different cells instead of tables and you order your last meal and you can say whatever you want. It's like, I want fried chicken. I want a triple cheeseburger. I want this. And they bring you a very high quality version of those things and then a priest comes in and sits with you and then you're led out, but instead of to the electric chair, it's to your car. We're a valet. Hands you the key. This is brilliant. That's a great idea. He's dark. You're talking about it. It's a restaurant. He's talking about death. I'm talking about a good deal. Everybody gets morphine on the way out mostly if you die in a hospital anyway. So it's wrong. I would. You know what? I really want to try morphine one day. That's cool. I know. Okay. You know what? I'm medicinal. Guess what? Your restaurant's called hospice. Good luck with that. Mine's called death row. It's a huge deal. It's going to be on Melrose in Los Angeles. Everyone's going to go. I want that idea for a restaurant called Restarum and everyone. It's a regular restaurant, but everybody sits at an open toilet. What? No. But why? Oh my God. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. But wait. How does it work? It's called Restarum. Yeah. You get your meal. And your chair is a toilet. And so you don't have to go to the back. I have to excuse. Are you sitting there with your pants around your ankles? So far. Yeah. Did you sit in here with your pants around your ankles? If you like. Sure. If you like. If you like. Are you sitting? If you like. Are you sitting? Are you sitting? Are you sitting? Are you sitting? The sunniest one out of all of these. I'd like to end on my idea for a restaurant. Definitely. Everyone's, this is my idea. I know people listening right now are rushing. It's a good idea. It's a really good idea. You've got to have a hell of a like food stock and chef. It's like a cheesecake factory. It's like the cheesecake factory. It's got to menu that big. And I think you call ahead so they can get it all ready. Oh, okay. You call ahead. Yeah. This is a very expensive restaurant. But like I would want like in and out cheeseburgers. Exactly. They take care of everything. Okay. Yeah. But you have to wear a prison overalls. And you're in a cell. And the priest is, I don't care what your religion is. It's a Catholic priest because that's what's in the movies. And then there's non-negotiable phones from the governor from the DA. Yeah. And all the bad news comes in. Nope. Nope. The governor went to bed once a day. It's not going to happen. Yeah. And then you get your real meal. And then they weed you. Uh-oh. Oh, you know what it is? It is an electric chair or a gas chamber. And then at the last second, um, they, they, you veer away from that. And it's the valet parking. Oh. And you get a little doggy bag. It's a great idea. Or it's the gas chamber and you sit on it. It's an open toilet. Oh god. And say we're back in business. We're back in business. All roads. All roads lead back to toilets. I just remembered we have a big toilet guy. Who's our guest today? My guest today. Thanks for asking. Is a hilarious comedian who stand up special. His father is available to stream on Hulu and Disney Plus. She's incredibly talented. Uh, she's amazing. I cannot wait to speak with her today. Welcome. [MUSIC PLAYING] Otsuko Okatsuka. (upbeat music) I have been aware of your work, which I think is fantastic for a while, and then we met outside a comedy club in Los Angeles. - What a blessing. - On the street, and we were just talking about what a great experience that is, I was getting ready for the Oscars, and so I was hitting all these out of the way clubs, and we were outside the Elision, is that right? - That's right, the Elision Theater. - Elision Theater, and I'm, you know, when you stand on the sidewalk in Los Angeles, this is what's unique about Los Angeles. Any other place you stand on the sidewalk, but if you're on the sidewalk in Los Angeles, people think that you're unmedicated and dangerous. - Oh. - So, I mean, it's just so weird, but there was this, all these comedians standing around, I was talking to them, and then-- - All unwell, all unwell, all unwell, including myself. - Ping on ourselves, who are we dogs, you know, we're, right? People are like, on the sidewalk. - Yeah, yeah. - They don't have cars, yeah, people were-- - If you walk in Los Angeles, there's been occasions where, you know, you park your car, and then you walk a couple of blocks to the pharmacy, and if people see you walking in LA, the assumption is, something's very wrong. - Yeah, Conan's going through a breakup. Conan's, you know what I mean? I always tell my husband, like, 'cause sometimes he'll be like, I'll go on a walk. I said, on a walk, we don't do walks. - Yeah. - We're very pale, and we were like nighttime people, and we've tried nature, but it's-- nature's hard, nature's hard for us, because we're very like, we tried it. We went to like Joshua Tree, you know, 'cause we got inspired by other people's Instagram posts. And while we were out there in nature, we were like, oh no, we ran out of things to talk about. - Yeah. - Right things like that. Anyway, so I said, don't go too far. People might think we broke up. And so that's kind of the thing. - But I love that you describe nature, like I'd say, dangerous medication. - It's so scary. - I tried nature once, and I really didn't like it. - Conan, it's just you and your thoughts. - Yeah. - For hours, possibly. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, you know, how long can I touch grass for? And I'm like, okay, I've felt it. - Yeah. - And now it's back to my thoughts. - Okay, Oscar, you don't-- - It's terrifying. - You don't go into nature and then just touch grass with your-- you don't kneel down and touch grass with your forefinger. - What do they mean by it? What do they mean, touch grass? - They say, okay, and like, there's a trap. - No, okay. - What's, how long? - I'm gonna tell you right now, as your friend and your physician, I'm gonna tell you right now, you're never to go, you're never to go and your botanist, you're never to go in nature again. I don't think any amount of talking to you is gonna make this a healthy experience. - Do you said you're not supposed to go and just touch a grass? - No, you're just supposed to be in it and walk around and breathe the air and let it sort of gradually, it's not a thing you accomplish. You have a very sort of type A approach to, I'm gonna go into nature. Now, you're talking to someone and listening to someone who also doesn't go into nature. So I don't know what I'm talking about. I am not, I should not be your spirit animal on this one. - Do you think, what is it? You don't have time, maybe, to go into nature or-- - I think I too, I think we have a lot in common. I think we have a lot in common and I know from your story and from listening to your comedy, we have a lot in common. One thing we don't have in common is you walked into our place on Larchmont here just minutes ago and I'm stunned, you look perfect. Doesn't she look perfect? No, you really do. You're very beautiful, but you're also the, what you're wearing, I mean, you, it's all perfect. - Me? - You, yes. - Mid-byte? (all laughing) - Mid-byte. - Mid-byte. - Mid-byte, I love that. This is just me. - You're being all naturally. Oh, that's how you rolled out of bed. - Oh, oh, I'm just celebrating, I'm just here celebrating. - Oh my God, I'm just having cake and what? Oh, I don't even know what I'm wearing. - So, yeah, I was just here celebrating your birthday. (all laughing) - You wanna back me up here? - You know what I'm saying. - But you always, you have such a colorful, aesthetic, you're really, you have cheesed earrings. I'm just, I'm obsessed of everything about your appearance. - The outfit is just kind of perfection and the lines are, I mean, you clearly, this is how you present yourself is important to you. I'm, look like I'm in treatment for alcoholism. (all laughing) I'm just wearing a, - And sweetie, that's a brand too. - Yeah. - That's also a brand. - Well, I don't wanna, I'd like to, I'd like to dress well. But then you do this podcast, we end up talking about diarrhea half the time. So, I'm not gonna put on a nice tie. - Just to me when you said diarrhea. - Usually take us down that road. - I do, I do. - Sure favorite topic. - Absolutely, because you all have very specific brands that are so iconic, aesthetically. Yes, I think aesthetically, something that makes a person iconic is can someone draw you very well. And yes, literally, you know. - You're good caricatures already. - That's right, yeah, that's true. - I kind of, in like a silhouette, like the Simpsons, you know, in the dark, we see Sona's hair, your hairstyle, you know. Your glasses would probably be prominent, you know what I mean? - I've thought about this. - David has his own brand of glasses. - You all are very aesthetically icons too. - The one thing that you and I have in common is we both have very distinctive hairstyles or haircuts. - That's right, yeah. - I, not today, today I didn't think about it much, but usually I'm sporting this kooky wave thing in my hair. I don't know, it looks like a-- - Fine gravity. - Define gravity. It's a swoop, it's, it's, yeah. - There you go. - I tried. - Thank you. - You weren't okay with that. - No, I'm sterile now. But you have this very cool bowl haircut as worn originally by Moe and the Three Stooges. And it's fantastic, it's perfect. And it's very intentional on your part, is that true? - It is, yeah, it is. - This is how your hair was when you were very young. - This was, you know, me when I was very young. A lot of kids were cursed with this haircut. They would say as a kid, right? My parents made me do the bowl cut. They put a bowl on me and then-- - Is this part of the culture specific? Is that what you're saying? - I guess a lot of Asian kids had it, but also I've met a lot of people across cultures who come, you know, with stories about how they had it too. - Right. - I think this is also very like before Moe from the Three Stooges Friars. - Yes. - Also really-- - Friar Tuck. - That's right. - And yeah, monks would have the bowl haircut. And you know what I associate it with ease? It's easy to give a bowl haircut. My mom had the Sears and Robuck haircutting kit. There's six kids. She'd line us up outside the kitchen and one at a time we'd jump up into like a high chair and right across, so all the photos of me that you've seen when I'm a kid. - That's right, thanks. - Just bang straight across. - Icon. - And style Icon, but-- - Style Icon. - But I do think if any culture's doing it, it's because, especially with kids, it's easy. - That's right. - So they probably just like snip, snip, snip, snip, you're done. - Sure. - And that's why they do it with kids, but most kids, at certain point, when they can take control of their own look, reject the bowl haircut. - It's true. - You decided not to go that way. - Yeah, because I said, if I'm gonna be the weirdo self that I am on the inside, maybe, you know, I'll just show it on the outside so that people will know immediately, right? Okay, you're safe? Maybe, you're weirdo. You're a fellow weirdo like me, you know? And you didn't have to conform to, you know, I still get a lot of messages once in a while from, you know, from guys who are like, you would be more attractive if you would just do the long hair thing, you know? And it's like, well, there were a lot of times in my life where I felt like a bit of an outsider or freak, you know? And it's like embracing that. All the things that, you know, I didn't, I was like, oh no, this makes me look like such a, I can't make friends with this haircut, you know? And now I just wanna embrace it and let people know like, yeah, let your freak, is it a freak flag fly? - Yeah, yes. - Oh, what a tongue twister. - Freak fly, yeah. - It can go dirty so quickly if you say it quickly, you know what I mean? - Freak fly fly, like that. - There's other F words get, you know, I'm just saying, it can easily, if you say it really quickly, it's one of those things that if I was on the air live and I had to say freak flag fly really quickly, I'd be nervous. - Oh, okay. - You know what I mean? - It's actually a freak flag, like your kink. - Well, that's my, I mean that, yes. - Is that the saying, is the saying more about sexual stuff than like being a weirdo? - I think it could go either way. - It can be any way, you know, it could be, yeah. - Any freak, any flag of any freak can fly, yeah, in any way, in any way. - That's really helpful. - Son of a, thank you so much. - Thank you, that's freaky, they like it. - Yeah, and no one knows more about a freak flag fly and so on. - Yeah, that's a compliment. You are very comfortable in your own skin and you're happy, just saying whatever stuff you've been up to be it legal, illegal, cool, dangerously wrong. - Which is like, how did this turn into? - I know, it's for help from anybody. - It's just my diarrhea thing, and now it's, I'm a freak, it lets my flag fly. - Let's get the focus back on Asco, if you don't mind Son of a-- - I'm happy, happy too. - Free flag fly, diarrhea lady over here. But that's not important. The important. - But it's very sweet, I think what you do is, you know, 'cause sometimes I'm like, oh Conan, like feel, this is a similarity I think maybe we have. I'm not sure, I might be putting it on you, but like you don't want anyone to feel like an outsider too. - Right. - And so I don't know, I feel like you just sense to me being like, oh, I don't know how the saying goes. English isn't my first language. - Right. - And you're like, you sona, you're a freak. - Yes. - You're a crazy. You do that. - And you know what, to make you. - So it makes you, you know, yes and improv. - Yes, she is. - You know, team mate, so she's like, yes, what are you doing? And suddenly, No one remembers Otsko doesn't know English. Suddenly Otsko's, you know, "Oh, freak flag flies." No one remembers anyone. This is the genius of Conan. Thank you so much. Until you just. To commercial. Until you just brought it up, Otsko. I did a very good job of, you know, distracting from your pain by brutally making kind of sauna. That's right. [music] We have a lot of commonalities. It's not just the hair. I watch your comedy and I see how all of your instincts are to put people at ease. That seems to be very important to you. And I love. You were so. I love the way you talk to an audience and get involved with an audience. You're so good at it. And kind of shining a light on what's the funny thing that's happening here without hurting someone's feelings, which I think is kind of a superpower. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It's all about, like, you know, wanting to be seen and wanting others to feel seen too. Yeah. Well, you've done this. Yeah, I want to make sure I mention it now and we'll talk about it later too. But you have this special on Hulu called Father, which is delightful and amazing. And it is, you know, up for Emmy consideration, which it should be. You talk a lot about your childhood and there are people that say comedians that say, well, I had a really strange childhood and then you hear about it and you go, yeah, kind of. Your story is crazily unique. And sounds perilous, but you talk so well about it and you're so funny about it that sometimes the reality of it can get a little obscured. And so if you don't mind just talking about that a little bit because you're born in. Is it Taiwan? You're born in Taiwan but you end up kind of growing up in Japan in your early years, right? And there's a lot of stuff going on in your family. Right, yeah. Yeah, so I'm half Taiwanese. I was born in Taiwan. Day one already, so my dad is Japanese. He stayed in Japan for my birth. Day one, the first face I see coming out of my mom and I don't remember this, obviously. People were like, oh, I know. I have my memory starts from day zero. Yeah, yeah, I feel like. Well, they're just lying. Sure. Well, maybe they, you know, they're like, I did Ayahuasca. You know, they're like, am I past self? Was it two cats? You know, like I haven't had the, what is it? The pleasure of having that kind of. I put some in your cake. Image. You will have that image very soon. I'm feeling dizzy. Why am I all day one? Oh, we're still in day one, sorry. So, my uncle is actually. My uncle's face is the first thing I see because he's helping my mom get me out of her 'cause he's not a doctor, but he was studying to be an OB-GYN. And my family loves a discount. And so, I see, 'cause I was like, what? Why didn't we have like a real doctor, you know? And so, I think that's why they flew to Taiwan. They loved that there was gonna be a deal and that it was. You were at a mall. Relative. And getting your ears pierced. What's sort of the birth kiosk? And then we'll grab an orange Julius afterwards. I'm just outside of a clairs. (laughing) It was a hospital, but yeah, so they want that's already happening. And I find out later, my dad wasn't there because I guess the relationship was already rocky. That's, you know, pretty early on at me as a baby. And so, three months after that, we all moved to Japan to reunite with my dad. Yeah, and so my mom, you know, so my mom suffers from schizophrenia. And my grandma was heavily involved in orchestrating, you know, my mom and dad meeting 'cause she was like, it's gonna be hard to marry this daughter off, you know, in Taiwan. Maybe we go somewhere kind of far. Maybe we go to Japan where, you know, my daughter doesn't really speak the language. And so-- Wait, your grandmother's trying to hide your mom's schizophrenia or mental issues? There's mental issues. I think they didn't really know what was wrong with her, you know? Right, but she's thinking, I shall have a better chance of marrying if we go to a country where people don't understand her. It's kind of like my inkling. 'Cause I've said to grandma, you know, like, there's Taiwan's a small country, but, you know, there's still, there, like, I think here's the thing. At the time, right, a woman in her 30s, single never had a boyfriend. They're like, what's wrong with her already, too? And so, you know, I think there were multiple things going on. Let's just, let's just try a different place. Let's just try a different country. And, you know, she has a hard time making friends. Something is off about her, you know, so I think it was a lot of that. And then so my grandma took the reins and saw, in the newspaper, they were doing a speed dating event in Tokyo. So, signed my mom up and went there, you know? And there was a language barrier, but I think, I like to think that, you know, when there is, though, all your secrets can't be revealed. Yeah. So, I mean, your grandma just sounds like a mastermind. She's a criminal. Yeah, she's a criminal. My grandma don't get me wrong. She's a criminal. She also then took me to America. That's right. You live in Japan for how many years? I live there for eight years. For eight years. And then your grandmother said, and I'm going to tell you your story for you. Yes, please. I think more men have to do this for women. Right. Okay. No, I want it. You should do a one-man. Your next one woman's show, I should come out at the top and just start telling your whole story. I think people would love that. Yeah, no. And then you come out and have me beaten. You're helping me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I shared a mansplain what Oscar went through. But your grandmother says to you, we're going to take a trip, and she takes you here to Los Angeles. Right. Yeah. And then you realize over time, she kidnapped me more or less. Is that true? Yes. Yeah. She said it was a two-month vacation to Los Angeles. Right. Again, she's a liar. Right. So we're in Japan and suddenly. And before, you know, I'm living with my mom and grandma in Japan, too. I was living with my dad. He full-on had full custody of me. And then slowly, you know, was like, hey, what if we spend more time with her? You know, oh, we got an apartment down the street from your place, you know? And so my dad was like, sure, you know, he was already raising two other kids of his own from the previous marriage. So, and then my mom's mental health declined. Yeah. Pretty bad. She was very suicidal in Japan. So I think, you know, my grandma was like, okay, we changed locations again, which, you know, at this point, I'm like, sweetie, it's not the location, you know, right? But I get it, like, as a single mom for so long, my grandma was. And then she was also now helping to raise me. I think she was just trying to get ahead before the next disaster. So she contacted my uncle, her son, her other son, who lived in Los Angeles already. Hey, do you have any space for us? I think we're going to try living there. He's like, we have a garage. She said, that'll do. And so, yeah, we came here. But she only told me it was going to be a two month vacation. You end up living for a while in a really small space. Right, right. With your grandmother and your mother. And your mother who has this very serious mental illness and that is such an intense experience. But probably contributed to your abilities and comedy in some way, don't you think? I think so for sure. Yeah. And a lot of it comes from, it's not like the sadness of it. It's really for me, you know, like our need to make other people laugh. I'm also a people pleaser, you know, being quick enough to be like, without anyone noticing that like, what I just did, ha, ha, ha. Ta-da is like a master fact that maybe this person was feeling insecure over here. You know, my mom, all my life, I've seen her, right, suffer right now, you know, even as we speak, I know where she is, you know, in her bed, you know, like unable to move that much. She has seizures too now. And so she doesn't have any friends. And I get to like tour and see the world. I get to hang out with icons, legends, heroes of mine. You just said that because you don't know our names. I'm going, I'm here with icons. Yeah. That's what I say to the Uber driver when I forget his name. You're an icon. I can't Matthew, was it? Yeah. People call me Matthew, sure. And so, you know, and so it's this, that's, that's what, like my, my want to make her feel not so bummed out. And so like, um, could you reach her by being funny or outrageous? Is that the way you could connect with your mom if she was even in a debilitated state growing up? Yeah. Yeah. I was honestly afraid of her most of my life. So I didn't know how to make her laugh. But I knew how to make my uncle and aunt last. Yeah. Yeah. Because the family is so intense. You know, we grew up. So they lived in the front house. But there was like, at least in the garage, there was no music in our house. There was no, my mom and grandma didn't watch anything. You know, my uncle finally installed a TV. us back there and so I would watch like Chelsea lately and then that's when I started like even learning what stand up was but when we would have dinners together as a whole family that we would just eat in silence like you know we just witnessed a funeral. Nobody would talk just silent. Eventually I think out of survival out of like making it easier for me I started trying to make little little jokes um you know I remember one time we had another one of these silent dinners literally just all you can hear is just like things being cut on the play one time my aunt asked for salt we all jumped because someone talked we're like oh like don't ever do that again you know how I was jumpy when Maddie came in with the tea that was it's because I think it's because of that it's always silent it's like oh my god you know what happened in it was just she's like salt I just said salt but for treat to different corners of the garage yeah to think about what just happened. We're being attacked you know and she just she just wanted a little more seasoning but um so then you know we would sit in silence then and one time I remember we finished eating it and I just said well that was really fun we should do it again and and then my uncle cracked that's good okay that's I couldn't get it out on my mom right yeah the um long stories yeah sorry no but no but I mean that's yeah I think we're not gonna have any of that no because I think I apologize in here for telling a really great story um I think because I'm like oh you know maybe I don't know how much you already know or not and I know but I'm I'm just fascinated by your story and I I love talking to really funny people and hearing how they made their way that's that's one of my favorite things uh or not just funny people but a bunch of the people we've had on the show whether they're in music or acting or whatever writers I just love figuring out how people um sort of like salmon swimming upstream they have like a little idea that they're supposed to do something and they develop it and then you can put any obstacles in front of them they've usually figure out a way to get there and I don't know if you had a lot of role models growing up who you know where you could see someone and say if they can do it I can do it were there stand-ups that really you gravitated towards for sure yeah I mean you know it's it was hard though because I never saw so I was starting to see stand-ups on like the Chelsea lately show for example yeah and one of the first stand-up specials I saw was Margaret chose through someone at church I used to go to church that's how they get immigrants they go do you want friends hey welcome to the country you want friends right yes we speak your language oh well that's cool we have free food I like that yeah and then boom suddenly you know I'm at Jesus camp so there I am go Jesus go I get you go God you know yeah cheerleader for God I'm in the choir I'm an alto I'm an alto my uncle is the choir director anyway saying a cantata do you know what that was clearly this was a huge inspiration to you this this was just conversion the way you talk about it I mean it really came in my life so quick I mean I'm from Taiwan and in Japan like Jesus less countries yeah you know yeah and then suddenly I'm getting baptized willingly I mean and then and in a choir singing alto because I could never hit the high notes alto is very hard you know we we all know yeah yes we do okay you have to harmonize oh boy no no no I mean I just grove in the other day you guys to sing the melody sing happy birthday dear Conan I'm gonna have a boo yeah nobody cares they're go oh that's not a beautiful yeah because someone was harmonizing creating an illusion that there's a whole group okay you're very bitter about that you've had so much success and you've you've achieved so much and you can't get passed this well Conan when you get kicked out of the choir yeah by your uncle who's the choir director when you kicked out for because if your musical abilities are because you were causing trouble I don't know you just heard me sing but we did a cantata okay I only got to perform once with the choir we did a can't do you know what a cantata is I was gonna be quiet because I thought everyone else would know no no no idea Tim Timothy Shalame with no yeah but it's it's like a short opera short opera it's like 45 minutes long we did a good short opera because I like a handle I'm sorry oh you and Timothy boy again oh turns out kidding I love opera I was very last night at the opera which opera Loboam yeah that in your pocket yeah that pocket Loboam yeah he left 40 minutes in I had you it's a urinary issue I love opera but I can't go more than 40 minutes without relieving my bladder it's a terrible disease and I'm waiting for a big commercial that I get to do about a medication you're right it's ages I put it out there the ages to even ask you ask thank you or we must respect our elders you can't wait wait how did I get here I was I've had this condition since I was 15 I urinate every 11 minutes yeah you've been doing really good are you doing the well I have a I don't want to tell you I'm wearing a device right now it's okay I've urinated nine times let me get this got dark and thanks a lot so I did the device you're wearing sponsored I'm glad you asked off go I'm glad you know with with P on ago I'm developed by NASA listen I'm we're gonna we're gonna try and make sense out of this and I know I can do this right right but we left you with Jesus camp you're gonna kicked out of the choir because no one appreciates the incredible it was an Easter performance it was the first one in the church my I I love to sing loud oh boy because he has risen and I don't know wouldn't you do that too I guess so I'm not a trained singer choir is a voluntary voluntary basis yeah they can't be picky there's no audition and all is welcome well guess what that means I'm on there too with my skills my uncle call it nepotism I got to join you know pretty easily and then after the cantata I was never asked back wow he said you love to sing loud let's go and we could hear you wait he wanted you to sing but not be heard because I was off a lot and he said sometimes you would also sing in English we it was a Taiwanese church we sang in Chinese and we could hear because I don't speak Chinese at this point a bitch is confused I was in Japan I'm in Japan now I'm in a Los Angeles in a garage I left Tokyo for this to be undocumented we were undocumented you're undocumented we had no papers my grandmother papers because we were supposed to be here a vacation so we just applied for a two month play visa or whatever that's called yeah touring visa sure and then we overstayed at boom what happens suddenly we're here illegally and and in Japan I only spoke Japanese suddenly I'm learning Chinese because I'm half Taiwanese too now I'm living with my Taiwanese family I'm confused I'm Christian now and now I'm singing alto of course I'm off key of course I got to go into English sometimes I think you put it best when you said a bitch is confused you know that's gonna be the title of my autobiography now you've got it so when I first saw Margaret it was just me like oh this is so awesome okay now I know this exists and she exists and you know but also at the time I didn't even know I didn't know until I was like 16 that I was undocumented and what that event meant right because I wanted to suddenly drive like all my friends at school like everyone was getting their permits and I said grandma I want to drive too you know none of us drive I think it'd be cool and then I can drive us around we don't the bus I don't we don't have to take the bus anymore you know you're old you know and it'll be easy on us and she goes well you can't you can't drive you can't do that because we don't have social security numbers and I was like oh like that was the first time I had it realized you know what a way to find out yeah I know I was yeah because I wanted to do by the way you're here illegally yeah yeah yeah right right so it's like it comes to like bureaucracy paperwork stuff right that I would I know I'm a I'm just you know a high school kid trying to kiss boys and I did yeah that was that you don't have to be an American to do you don't need most boys don't ask for your social security number thank God before well I was always a stickler sometimes a girl would be like what's smooch and I'd say well hold on a second I'd like to see various documents yeah that's yeah that's why I was a virgin until well Obama's first term okay we call that a narc yeah the school snitch over here trying to get kisses so I do not trust him I'd try to like to kiss you but I'd like to see your papers like this narc over here and no and so yeah because I was surprised because there's so much you could do I was going to school I was in the cheerleading squad. - Were you a good cheerleader? - I was, you know, as a squad, we were okay. (laughing) As a squad, we were self-taught. - Together, we were okay. - Separately, we were awful. What a great recommendation. We're not very good. We're terrible when we're apart. But when we get together, we're okay. - Tuning. (laughing) - We really kept, we really kept people's attention with our spirits, you know? We were, we were really comfortable. We were very self-taught. We didn't have a coach, our cheer squad. When people hear that I was a cheerleader, they're like, oh, you were a jock. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand. My squad, it was like full of girls who were like, if they went for cheer, I would have joined a gang, you know? (laughing) These girls were scary. These girls, I didn't, I didn't know that. I didn't know that being a cheerleader was the last exit before gang. (laughing) - Well, that's hilarious. - Welcome to Venice High School. - Yeah. - Early 2000. - Sure. - Okay. Venice. No, me too. I was like, you know, I thought cheerleaders were like, the bring it on girls. - Yeah. - Sure. - And then here I am, I'm, you know, I join. And it's, yeah, it's, my first, they were like the first girls to accept me. Right, so my first friends were Latinas and black girls who called me Coco, they gave me a nickname. And some of the girls, that, I mean, they were, like some of the girls were, their boyfriends were part of the Crips. - Oh wow. - One of them, Juanita, I remember, one time her boyfriend called her a bitch to which she pulled out a switchblade, put it up against his neck and said, "If you call me that again, I'll cut you." And then I'll cut myself. - Oh, oh, what? - I was there, I said, I said, I said, I said, "Dude, you are crazy." - You are crazy. - I mean, I get the first part, but the second part seems extraneous. I'm gonna say extraneous. - We're like, I'll cut you. - And then later, I'll cut myself. (laughing) Wait, Juanita, I'm very afraid of you cutting my throat, but you do on your own time. Later. - The drama. - Yeah. - The drama, right? She was a poet, too, on top of it. I was like, wow, so these were the kinds of girls. Once I got my driver's license senior year, the captain of the squad, she borrowed my car during lunch. Wait, got on the portion, came back for six period. (laughing) What were your friends like? - Oh my God. - So this is the chance. (laughing) - When I say, yes, when I say, if everyone for a cheer, we would have joined a gang, these are suddenly my friends in America, you know? And I was like, wow, like, I have been snoozing. What is this exciting life? We would go to one time we went to Denny's parking lot, where a fight broke out between the cheer squad and the flag team. I had never seen such a thing. We were all in uniform, it was after, after. - The cheer team fought the flag team. - Yes, because one of the flag team girls started dating, oh no, no, no, one of the cheer squad's ex-boyfriends. And I said, oh, what is this? - Right. - Yeah, I was trying to get on board, 'cause I was such a scaredy cat. I don't fight. Literally, like the only things I fought are like, help fight the voices of my mom's head in that garage. - Yeah. - And, you know, fighting for my life to stay on the choir. That's the only things I fought for. - Is this, so the fight starts to go down. Did you, what did you do? - So I was scared. I showed up with Juanita. Everybody, everyone's in uniform, so I did. - Juanita is just hitting herself in the corner. (laughing) I'll get you, and then I'll get them. - You should've done that. - Yeah. - She said, can you imagine the flat people are retreated? - Yeah. - Yeah. - This is crazy bitch. - I'm gonna first punch myself. Then I'll get you, if you're not careful. - Incredible. Juanita's just backwards with everything. - I love you. - Incredible, but she's all, she's all cartoon-like. (laughing) I would love that. - Oh man. (laughing) I'm cheering her on, 'cause you're two cheer leaders. - Sure. - No, so I'm on the sidelines. I don't know what to do. And Juanita's like, I'm gonna get in there. I'm gonna get in there. The fight started. People are dragging each other in the ground. But first off, they march in, okay? The flat team comes in with their flats. (laughing) I was like, is this West Side story? - It's West Side story with flats. - And it's confusing, because it's like a, the flat team was also like Latin and like Black girls too. So we look like we're on this. We don't know who's fighting who. Thank God for the uniforms, 'cause you'll get confused. - The uniforms top a lot. - At least with West Side story. It's like, okay, Puerto Ricans versus the white people. - Sure. - Yeah, yeah. - Similar dance moves. It's confusing, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - These girls. Yeah, so thank goodness for the flags, 'cause then I go, okay, that's not my squadmate. - Right, right. - And the pom-poms, we have the pom-poms. - Domest fight I've ever heard. Easily the dumbest fight I've ever heard. - But I'm dying to know who won. - I know. - People are getting attacked. There is no winning, sweetie. There's no winning in violence. - Yeah, that's beautiful. - Yeah, yeah, no one wins. - Sorry, I'm sorry. - No one wins. - Except for maybe, one eaters break fun. Who is at home going, no, thank God I have a break. - Yeah. - Tonight. - But. - Have you kept up with one eat at all or any of these people? - Yes, we're on Facebook. - Oh, that's nice. - Facebook, they still call me Coco. A few of them have come out to see my shows. - 'Cause they, okay, that makes me really happy. - Yeah, yeah. - And so, oh, I was the, you asked me for my role. I held everyone's jewelry. (laughing) - Because they were like, "Coco can't fight." And I was like, "Well, I'll just hold, yes." And so, you know, the scene in Cinderella. - Right, you have one of those TSA bins. (laughing) - Or at the scene. - Let's have it all, clink, clink. Now get to it, you two. - Who's coming up? - Yeah, well, thank you. A more, you know, modern reference. I'm referencing Cinderella. I'm like, you know, the scene in Cinderella. He's like, "How about the TSA yesterday?" (laughing) - You know, yes. - Anyway, I can help, I like to help. - Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm like, you know, Cinderella. Cinderella, Cinderella. (laughing) Who's watching Cinderella lately? Anyway, there's a scene where they're throwing things at her and she's like holding the jewelry and the clothes. You're not going to the ball. That was me with the fight. I was holding the jewelry. And then just shouting positive affirmations. 'Cause again, we were cheerleaders. I could do that. J-U-A-N-I-T-A. What's the spell for Anita? (laughing) So, those were all, yeah. Why did I, I don't know why I went into it. - Well, no, because I was asking you about this fight. And I'm curious because the Hulu special that you did, father, you're talking about, 'cause so much of what we talked about today, your father's introduced at the top of your story. And then I think you guys were estranged for a long time. - Right, right. Is you're reconnecting or reestablishing a tie with your dad? - Right, yeah, it's true. He didn't, he missed out on my cheerleading days, my choir days, my Jesus camp days. - Right. - In a way, it's cool though, because when we got to meet up and we really got to reconnect-- - So you've been living in Japan this whole time? - So he's been living in Japan, working as an engineer, raising, you know, my half siblings. So once we were undocumented, another rule that I didn't know was you can't leave the US if you want to come back in, right? - Got it. - So we were stuck here. And I suddenly, you know, I didn't get to say bye to my dad who's in Japan, super busy, you know, raising kids, single dad. And I didn't get to say bye to my friends there. So I just felt super like suddenly, oh, like I didn't get closure from the place. - Yeah, you're cut off in an unnatural way. - Yeah, and then I got busy, right? With cheerleading or trying to get a driver's license. I finally got my green card. When I was 17, we did the Visa Lottery program where, you know, you, I guess my grandma, the hustler, finagular, pretend that we were in Japan still the whole time and you, she put our names into the lottery. - Oh my God. - I mean, first of all, I want this woman running my life. - Yeah. - And I'll say, actually, I want her running our foreign policy too. She's job-a-way. He's right here. - I think your grandmother just would beat out David so quickly. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can't do these things. You can't get me into a Japanese Lottery system. She become a full citizen of the United States. - You never cheated me all the time. - You went to Lululema today and bought me some underwear. - I did do that. - Yeah. - And she, yeah. - What did she do that? - She could do that too. She could do that too. But she's doing like international committing international, I don't know. - I say crimes, but she really was able to, with a network of other grandmas from the church, and we know grandmas, like the network of grandmas, they're true. - They're making it happen. - Yeah, they're true like gangs. They're telling each other, you know, the best deals at the supermarket. Or, you know, they're telling each other like, what loopholes, you know, to what bank to go with if you want the higher interest rate or whatever. And so through that, she figured that out. And then every year, she would apply for the lottery. And every year, you know, our names wouldn't get pulled. And then on the seventh year, all three of our names got pulled. And so, yeah, and that's how we got to get a green card. - Well, let me be the first to welcome you to America. - Oh, what a place. - Oh, okay. - Thank you so much. - I'm assuming I'm the first. It's been a while. - Yeah. no one else has ever seen. But the courtesy to say that. So welcome. Thank you. I mean, you're kind of like a diplomat, right? To so many countries, to many countries, you're the orange-haired American man that they'd rather see when you go abroad, right? And you've done that for us. That's true. That is true. That is true. I'm trending ahead of other orange-haired people who tend to show up in countries sometimes. You've done that for us. You close the gap for us or you tried to get ahead of it with Greenland, you know what I mean? You've really done a lot of it. I think I've done so much for the world. But I think like the alto and a choir, I'm also overlooked. And I think that's another way that we're. Thank you to the nod at Altos. Yeah. That's what I do. I have to ask you this before we wrap, your father, how does he feel about this crazy success you've had? Oh my gosh. Is he, I'm guessing he's really proud? Yes. He got to see me perform a couple of times on my international tour now. And so it's cool. You know, I was saying like he missed out on, you know, my choir days or cheerleading days and stuff like that. But also he kind of missed out on, you know, me struggling in my comedy career, right? Like trying to figure it out. I said, okay. Finally, let's try the stand-up thing. And, you know, it's wild that after years of trying it, years of doubting myself, maybe I'll go to like art school instead as a backup plan, which is a terrible backup plan, right? Why go linear? Why, also, an unemployment, I got a degree in creative writing and. Boo art, Boo creative writing. No, this is art school. So creative writing is literally like if you want to turn in two words, that's your thesis. You know, it's like that. Yeah. So, you know, he missed out on those years, but then I was developing my voice and when we met again, right, it was me doing an international tour back in Japan, two thousands of strangers who know who I am in Japan, when you come back from like work or school, you say, "Tadai Ma, I'm home." And your family members go, "Okai Di, welcome home." And so on that show where my dad was there, I tried saying it. He said, "Tadai Ma, I'm home to these Japanese audiences and all thousands of them together said, "Welcome home." And I was like, "Oh, I almost broke down and cried and you know, my dad could understand those parts." And it was really cool because it was like, you know, I hadn't been home like that in 22 years, you know? Yeah, so it was really cool that that was how we got to reconnect. It is like you're, you know, like the Superman myth, he's put into a space capsule and, you know, when he's a baby and shot off. And then if you catch up with him 25 years later, whatever, 10, 15 years later, he's Superman. And it's just this thing that happened that you couldn't foresee, but it's magical. And I think an amazing gift that your dad gets to see that. Sometimes you're going to make people miss you and come back, you know, hotter. Right, isn't that the whole thing? Well, listen, Oscar, the special is beautiful. It's on Hulu father and I wish you all the best in M.E. season because you deserve it. You are so funny and you've got a great spirit. And it was just, it's nice to get to know you better because I admire you and then to have you here and talk and we got to chat a little bit and bond out on the sidewalk outside of that comedy club. That's right. But I remember leaving that night. Oh, I, this is unfinished business. We have more to talk about. So I was so glad you could come in and I hope you come back. Oh, thank you for having me. You guys are true kindred spirits and if I may, now it's here. Okay, I've really, I've really set it up. Yeah. Go. See, you got to see, you got to see, give me an oh, you got your oh, you got your oh, give me an end, end, you got your end, you got your end, give me an, a, n, n, n, we got Conan. Wow. Wow. I like when you ended. There was a little bit of, oh, because we got, well, Conan, Oscar, thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. All right, we're going to do a little segment. Normally, we do this with Matt Gourley and we do something called review the reviewers where people call in with reviews and we listen to them and then I respond to their reviews. But Gourley's not here. He's on paternity leave and because he's out and we don't have review the reviewers, I thought I just supply the call in reviews myself. Oh boy. Oh boy. This is so sad. So what's this? And this is Jack Muncie and he's coming to us from Cleveland, Ohio and he says, what's play it right now. You're pressing a button. Why are you doing this? I listen to Conan O'Brien, he needs a friend all the time. I think it's the best podcast ever. Conan's mind. I listen to his mind work and I'm like, this guy's splitting the atom. I don't even have a question. It's just that funny show and it's like I also think, is it me or is he like the coolest guy ever? I don't know, but I don't know, Conan. I don't even have a question here. You're just incredible. Well, wow. That was pretty cool. Oh yeah. That was so nice. Mr. Muncie. Yeah. Mr. Muncie. Yeah. Thank you very much. I don't think I'm splitting the atom. I'm just saying things that come to my mind and it tends to dazzle. I guess. I don't know. You know, it's weird. If you have these superpowers, you don't walk around going, oh, wow, I have superpowers. You're like, I'm Superman. You know, I can crush this piece of gold and it becomes a diamond. Yeah. Another day, another dollar. You don't get amazed by it because you've lived in this body for a long time. Sure. What do you think about me? Yeah. Good enough. What are, who, what, what are you, what's happening? Karen Stipsen in Anchorage, Alaska has a call. We don't know. Um, hey, Conan, um, yeah, Karen here and I listen to Conan, my name is a friend. Why would you need a friend, you know, I would think you, you'd have more friends than anyone on earth. You're just as a funniest, most creative, and I just, I don't know. I saw you host the Oscars and I was like, I'd do that guy. He saw that in a bag of chips. Karen, so people talk, I know I shouldn't be talking this way, but I live only, Karen, are you listening to us right now? I'm anticipating what you guys will be saying, I guess I won an anticipated of the year award last year. I'm a really good anticipator, but I'll just wait for our sonas and David's laughter to calm down. I just, I don't know, I just, I listen to Conan, I'm like, wow, how is he, how's he, he's just the best. So anyway, Conan, I'm just curious, do you think that you'll divorce your wife and maybe be back on the market and hang out at Anchorage? I sure hope so, a lot of ladies appear to be pretty happy. Well, gotta go now, bye. Oh, look, it's cold outside. Thanks Anchorage for ya, a little joke, bye. Well no, I don't think I'll be divorcing my wife any time soon. Love my wife. We've been married a long time, she's my soul mate. But hey, you'll be the first alcohol, should the deal go down because she may want me out. Yeah, yeah, she gets pretty exasperated. I did do this thing at home where I take pretend calls and lies, it hates it. Oh, she does. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that is so great. It's so great. she said, "Why don't you go do that at work?" So I thought I'd do it here at work. But anyway. - But that was you? - Yeah, well no, no, no, I didn't do it here yet. I'm thinking I might do it. - Karen said you're all that in a bag of chips. - Yeah, that's how kids talk now. - Yeah, okay, it's funny. I hear you say that all the time. It's literally nobody else. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Okay, yeah. So pretty cool. - Victor Hadalgo. (laughing) Where's Victor calling from? - He's coming from Corpus Christi, Texas. - Ah. - Conan, man. (laughing) - He's a man, you're the man, Conan. You're a one cool ombre. (laughing) - Is he Mexican? - You're a cool guy, Conan. I'm actually, despite my name, I am my family's from Sweden. (laughing) But I just use the word ombre in an element. - Okay, just kidding. - Yeah, but my father is Lars. - And my mother, my mother is Torquia. And yeah, I just go by Victor Hadalgo, just, you know. But anyway, I just wanna say the show's amazing and sometimes when I'm sitting in my sauna and having a taco. (laughing) I just think this Conan guy is amazing. Again, no question. Just Victor Hadalgo here from Sweden. And I just think you're amazing. Again, no question, like he's referencing. - Jack Muncie. - I'm just anticipating. - It's weird, I have a boyfriend with us. - Yeah. - That everyone else probably didn't have a question either, is what can you ask this man? (laughing) It's like perfect. You know, we have an old saying in Sweden, if the skates aren't bent, skate away, skate away. And I just wanna say, you're the best, Conan. Yeah, absolutely amazing. And someday I hope you and I can split Hemi Junga. (laughing) Peace out. - Wow, that guy's incredible. - Peace out, he said peace out. - Yeah, he did. I don't know, I have to say these have been amazing calls. And I don't, I don't, these are better than the calls that are curated. - The Gourley Finders. - By Gourley, who I think does a shitty job finding callers. - Do you think there's a caller from like a sonafan? - Oh, well I could try and find out. Let's see, I'll look through the list here. No, there isn't. (laughing) - Okay. - I know that violates every rule of improv, improv, but no, it isn't. (laughing) There's absolutely no. - Not single, one, it's a long way to go. - Wait a minute, wait a minute, we're getting a call right now. We're getting a live call right now. And what, can you pass this through? This person says there is sonafan, let's see if they are. You always patch him in right now, they're on. - Hey, he's going in there, he's going in on the line. - Yeah, this is Conan, what's going on? You say you're a sonafan? Oh yeah, he's a big sonafan, I just say come on sonafan, I just want to get on. (laughing) - Yeah, say, say, say come on sonafan. I just want to start to coden you the best coden. I don't even know what son it does. So that seems actually I asked you for a lot of favors I think it's committee. I just say so. You suck David helping you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck and back. Fuck you, man. I'm a booey. Bum a booey. Bum a booey. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. So no, I can do the fuck you. Yeah, you stink. You're dragging coden down. He's the best. Bye. Yeah. Bye. Bye. God. - He said, "Woo, woo, woo!" - Jesus, that was unpleasant. (laughing) - It said, he psyched me out. He said he was a fan of yours. - You know what, not all our fans are good. I think that we don't need all of them. - Well, we do need that guy. - No, I don't think we do. - It's fantastic. - It says here he's a multi-millionaire and he wants to give all of his money to the show. (laughing) Which of course would mean it would go to me. All right, well, that was review the reviewers, and I thought it went really well. Incredible fans I had. - You go great fans. - The best. Peace out. (upbeat music) Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Cessian, and Mack Gourley. Produced by me, Mack Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering in Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and BritCon. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of serious XM when you sign up at seriousexam.com/conon. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs A Friend, wherever fine podcasts are down the beat.