At 28 It Gets Better| The Church of What's Happening Now

Get this party started, Pedro. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey D is here for another fun-filled episode of The Church of What's Happening Now, new edition. My co-host and beautiful young brother, Pedro Garcia, we're here to rock the house today. I'm excited. What up there, Tarzan? Feeling good, man. I got a bunch of gay dudes in my DMs recently, so I'm killing it. I'm crushing it, dude. Whenever you address gay dudes on stage, they're going to follow you home. Even that joke about gay dudes hit on me, they're going to follow you home eventually because they're gay and they're like, well, maybe he don't want nobody to know. I don't want nobody to know. This is the perfect little victim for me. Yeah, I got a bunch of comments and shit. I can't delete them fast enough, brother. With the new haircut. Oh, forget about it. That's it, they're not on with the new haircut. I've never been told, hey, sit on my face. That's the first time somebody's ever said that to me. He said that to me, so I'm crushing it, brother. Oh, bro. When people are that direct online, you're throwing some heat. No, it's that reel I put up. That reel I put up because I saw the joke. Yeah, the little joke. Yeah, what do you expect if you put up a fucking, you make a joke about Arabs and the thing, you got 20 Arabs at your house doing dry cleaning and shit. You know, it's just the way life works out. Nah, it's cool, man. It's not, I was the weak one. It was good, man. It was a show that our family did a little comedy in the dojo and stuff like that. Nothing, what's up with you? What you do? I miss my family. We had a flight Saturday, Friday morning from Austin. There is nothing worse for me. Like, even the guy told me on the phone, and I called him later on in the afternoon, Brandon, great fucking limo driver, great service. They even have a helicopter. Holy shit, it's just like GTA. Like, this service has a fucking helicopter, and he's the driver. So fucking interesting. When I called him to say I'm sorry, he goes, listen, man, when you called me this morning, I was going to call you back because you didn't sound too good. I go, first off, I called him with the mouthpiece in my mouth. And I'm like, you know what it's like to get up and then look at your phone, and you're, I was supposed to be up at 6.15. It was 7 fucking 35. And I just got up and just was walking around discombobulated. I called him, and I was like, because I already had plans for Friday. It wasn't that I had the whole day to fly. I wasn't going to go off. I was going to get off the plane, relax, throw the laundry in, and then I was going to make some moves. And then fucking, I went and I called him, and I said, listen, I'm never going to make it. He goes, let's just give it a try. I said, dog, we're going to get there at 8.15. They're going to say no. You know, why? Then I got to sit there until 11.30, until the next one. But it just happened that the two flights after mine were canceled, and then everything after that was on flight delay because it was going to be bad weather here, while he wasn't. Then the second thing I thought was Mikey Sherrill making an announcement on Instagram how New Jersey was going to be, you know, the center of a storm and shit. So I go, you know what? Why am I going to argue with these people? And then I fucking just settled for Saturday. I had a plane that was earlier than that one, and I happened to make it, dog. But that's the worst feeling when you wake up and you're already minus in your day. You're minus an hour and a half. You know, it's not like, let's go now. Nah, that's it. The flight left, so. And I had my edibles ready. Like, I had the whole system cut out and shit, you know? Fuck it. Did you do some stand-up? No, I didn't. I actually hung out, bro, for the first time in a little while, I hung out. I did two great, I did a couple shows, but I did two shows that I was like, I left there honored to be a part of. Tuesday night's early show with Rogan, Shane, and Ron White. Those guys had me dying in the back. Oh, yeah. And then Thursday night show. And I did a spot Wednesday night, but it was very uneventful. It was in the little room. And then I went back Thursday night, and it was my show at seven. And that was just, this cat named George Perez showed up. I've been friends with him since 2006. And Ron came on stage for me, you know. But all four shows were sold out. All three nights I was there. The fucking energy was like, wow. You would want to, you get off stage, and you go, I wish I could do that in a different room. Right. Like three more times. But I was always doing the late show. So, but my time there was great. My apartment's getting better. The only problem is now I'm moving. I'm moving to the 56th floor. So, if I want to jump, it's even easier now. Yeah, easy access. This is one-stop shopping. When you're on the 44th floor, you land. When you're on the 56th floor, you disintegrate. Yeah, that's it. Like, there's not even a funeral. They have like a little finger on an eyeball that they put in a fucking gasket, so. But it's funny. We've been doing this podcast now for a few weeks. So, today I wanted this to be more of a Pedro thing comparison to North Bergen. I was really thinking about something. We all met at the dojo. You know, we were, whatever, we were new to each other. And after three or four weeks, something happened. I asked Pedro if he wanted to do some time. He did the time. And then my neighbor, Jimmy Florentine, called me. He goes, hey, I got a gig Friday. You're more than welcome to stop by. He goes, your friend Pedro's on the show with me. I go, all right. I go, Pedro's a great guy. You're going to have a good time. Like, the next day, I bump into Jimmy at the gym. And he says to me, bro, Pedro was great. The show was great. I wish you could have made it. It was like 80 people. But regardless, at the end of all that, he looks at me and goes, your friend fucking Pedro's a Black Sabbath fan. And I go, yeah, I think so, you know. But he goes, no, no, no. Like, he was serious about it, Jimmy. He's like, no, he's like a real fucking Black Sabbath fan. Like, this fucking guy was dropping knowledge about him and shit. He goes, I was blown away. I go, that's insane. That's fucking cool. Okay. That's insane. That was the first time ever I had heard about this. Oh, all right. Because I look at Jimmy Florentine like, nah, he fucking knows what the fuck he's talking about. So that's fucking cool. All right. No, yeah. You know, people always ask me now, why don't I go to college? When I give me one of these Joey Deer's lame excuses that I don't want to stand. If I go, people want to take pictures. You ate mushrooms. You know, it's kind of a weird vibe. But the weird thing is that that excitement, that early excitement I had from the ages of 13 to 25 going to a concert had disappeared. I went to a few other concerts over the years. But that. For me, I think because I did stand up now, it's just something didn't rub me the wrong way. I mean, I went to see like Don Henley. I went to see like Pat Benatar with her fucked up husband. I went to see. Then I went to see Guns N' Roses right before the pandemic at the Palladium. Open your eyes, Pedro. God damn it. They're open. I look in there and shut them off. Every time I look over, I think I'm looking at people. I'm like, Becky. No, you're telling me the chair is disappearing from where I'm looking. Every time I look over, something's. I don't wear your eyes. Disappearing every time. We're in for a ride. Oh, yeah. So fucking, you know, what are we talking about? Concerts. Concerts. Yeah. Now I go to a concert and I'm faking the funk. Yeah. Because I know when I was a kid, even when I went to see my favorite bands, once they played the song. What are we doing here? You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's the Yankee game that won an 18-0. You got a lot of traffic on the way home. Do we need this? Let's get the fuck out of here. I've never went to concerts. Huh? Oh, my God. Concerts were my fucking life growing up here. Yeah. This was, this is a book out. I forget who I gave it to. And it was basically about the music scene around here from like 73 to like when Madonna died, when Madonna left the village. Like 87. And it's very interesting. It's very interesting that me and Lubz are in his basement lifting weights at 530 in the afternoon and 92 KTU, or one of those, the bigger one, announces Prince and Sheila E at the whatever, 15 bucks at Nucleus. It only happens in New York. Okay? The shit about when I was growing up really young, and George will testify to this. The Stone, before the 78 tour, they were playing Nyack and all those cities up there under a different name. Like they were doing that type of shit. You imagine going to see, oh, me and my girlfriend are going to the bar to see this band Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. And you walk in and it's Mick Jagger jumping up and down with Keith Richards. Where does that happen? You know, never mind the cultural Spanish music and the bongos and the fucking salsa. That's a whole different world than New York. Anything else that's entered us culturally. It was fucking insane who you would go see here on a Tuesday night and how you did it. People go to a concert now, they call you up. Hey, did you see the schedule at the garden? Yeah, what is it? Fucking Pedro's going to be there October of 2027. Whoopty doopty. You know, what do you want me to tell you? I don't even know if I'll be alive. - October 20th, 27th, so now you put me in a spot already number two what's my ticket gonna cost well if we all sit together it'll be 310 with no taxes and all this shit so right off the bat you know i'm down 400 it's nine months away and now i gotta get revved up again when we were growing up it was as simple as this you could mail your fucking tickets in do you remember that george you used to mail you had to get a money order or your mom had to go get a certified check and you would mail it to wp what was that w the brock station no the other one k-rock one of those wnaw sounded right and you would send them the money and enter you in a raffle and if you got like led zeppelin was on a raffle the who was on a raffle all those bands all those years on a raffle you mailed them the money so right now there's four of us sitting here and we're discussing john lennon making a comeback and he's playing what's today's date the fucking whatever right 26 so he's the fucking 20th pager the 19th jesus 19th the 20th you would find out about john lennon's show in the city maybe on monday if the show was on thursday you had three days to get tickets money from whoever and then you got it got the tickets you know the adventure to get the tickets was fucking tremendous these kids will never know that like i still remember the wall tickets listen to what i'm telling you what the fuck is i still remember somebody waking me up i still remember steve avillo telling me we got to get home early tonight because we got to go get wall tickets i'm like what are you talking about and i'm like what are you talking about and i'm like i'm not talking about and i was getting in a car we had to get some guy that was you know foca raccio who was in a senior or a freshman in college at the time and he drove us out to the paramus mall and they had no tickets and then we went somewhere else which 40 minutes away at the sugar bowl or something like that but then we ended up in saint peter's college saint peter's prep had a ticket agency downstairs this is old school there was no computers you went in you asked them they turned around they had no computers they had no computers they had no like a dewey decimal thing one of those cards oh yeah we got fourth row we have sixth row center we have 22nd row that's how you bought your tickets pedro so as soon as you got your car you went to the liquor store to celebrate you have been fucking crazy and you start drinking at 10 in the morning the tickets went on sale at nine by 10 30 you already had the tickets there was no huge lines like the donkeys today that get on there yeah that came 10 15 years later but you just walked in i still remember this is the fucking i should have shot myself pat benatar was playing like december 21st a couple days before christmas was saturday night and i was driving for whatever lumber at the time the van you know i was driving for him and i in one of the deliveries i said this is my time to slip to the meadowlands and get my uh my pat benatar tickets and i remember walking downstairs nobody was there but when i was i was online waiting to get the tickets i heard a commotion and it was a christmas tournament you know played that year north carolina state with jim valvano and i turned around i saw jim valvano walking at me with all those players and i looked at them like i'm still a north carolina fan and they ended up winning the super the nc whatever the finals against houston yeah against uh yeah against houston doesn't really matter i mean but they want they beat them and they lost no they beat houston houston was a nine point fucking whatever but regardless of that that's what the one who a concert was it was really more of an experience but it was in a day's wimp you had three days to get your shit together every once in a while you had a week you know but it was always the ticket money than the drug money because we were all kids how old were you when you're going to concerts i think the first concert i went to was 13 i went to the meadowlands it was an outdoor concert it was ted nugent errol smith frank marino mahogany rush poco it was a fucking great lineup were you there george i think we all ended up oh what the fuck oh now over you know we didn't know each other we met that summer oh shit but it's crazy how you know i've been friends with jimmy flanagan like i remember still going to fucking shows and every fucking show there was a smoke bomb at one some part of the show there's a smoke bomb nothing that you goes into your mind but after the third show you go fucking smoke bomb it's the same guy a smoke bomb bandit i don't know how many those shows i went to with the smoke bomb seven years ago i'm picking mercy up at kickboxing we're sitting there in a car outside of hollywood she gets i go grab a week i left the car running i get in the car and jim florentine's telling the story about when he first got high he went to see iron maid and asbury and that that's when he started lighting up the smoke bombs and that the guy knew it was him so they threw him out and he had to call his mother to come get him and then his mother kept asking ma why are your eyes so red jimmy and jimmy had to keep saying ma the smoke bomb you know and i'm in a car listening to this and i'm about to die because i'm like that's the motherfucker who was doing the fucking smoke bombs okay and then like it was he told another story there was a series of concerts let's just say it started in 78 but if you were really from jersey you were at that fucking concert and if you really and there wasn't no bruce springsteen concert either but it seemed like everybody from north bergen high would be at those concerts you get that and 30 of the people were fucking north bergen these people you're like what the fuck are these people doing here you say north bergenese yeah yeah so fucking it was like uh it was like we started with ted duigenaro smith then 79 we all went to see sabbath and van halen at the garden and then the summer of 80 judas priest played five nights in a row at the palladium the hottest week of the fucking month dog it was brutal but they always came back then then they came back in like 81 and they brought def leper as an opener nobody knew def leper it wasn't even not no no make neither die they were just four fucking dirty kids young young you know that's who we were seeing that's the concerts we were seeing and those were the concerts that jimmy myself growing up we all ended up at and i just found that out when i called jimmy later on that afternoon i'm like jimmy you fucking serious we all went to see iron maiden at the asbury park in fact three black dudes threw a bottle at my car it wasn't my car it was perry vidge's car and fucking it was judas priest ac dc in the oh no ozzy at the palladium night soon okay he went to the early show i went to the late show vice versa we were all going to the same shows gotta remember august 4th of 1979 head nugent headlined the garden on the whatever tour with ac dc as an opener okay am i saying it right ac dc yeah ac dc was right at the garden august 4th of 1979 august 1st of 1980 ac dc was was the second stop was the palladium on the tour with the new singer like almost to the fucking date how lucky were we how lucky were we that's what i was gonna say you guys never mind the new barbarians at the garden that's a show nobody will talk about yeah it was a fucking party it's the stones with no mcjagger yeah it's fucking crazy you know these all the shows i grew up in so all that excitement got pulled away so i got the and then fucking then black sabbath with no ozzy that dude had the balls to tour oh deal deal and he fucking did a great job in philadelphia went to see i think i saw him twice twice and then we saw ozzy with fucking randy rhodes then the next time he came he came with the guy from that one band yeah that's how quick we were seeing shit so we saw all those things do you know in my heart what do you want me to what bands in a row would i have to see to take that memory and shoot it down not too many only accepted let zeppelin made a comeback and they're not and they're not so that's as good as my heart and my mind that we're going to see so why would i insult that legacy to go see sammy hagar looking like 80 with no shoes on drinking tequila on stage not what i want to fucking pay for that's what i'm saying back to the question yeah when did you get into sabbath was this something you saw on a wall in north bergen on a hallway what was it i was a friend of summer school we're both idiots he was a is a fat cuban kid called javi and he uh he uh he put me onto world of warcraft the fucking computer game and black sabbath because you ever heard of black sabbath i was like nah what is that i was like all i listened to was rap and shit fucking uh were you at that time 14 14 i was 14 years old perfect time to let sabbath into your life it was sabotage yeah that's the first i was in i was in really it was sabotage i was in and then uh and then i and then i started then i learned about ozzy by himself that what whatever happened with them they broke up and that's when i became a real big ozzy fan after that i started listening to ozzy heavy after that so i like that i like the ozzy a little bit more but sabbath is always gonna be i don't know man it just adds this fucking i hate i don't know how to put in words brother were they like any of the murals still left what do you know from when we were kids at the high school they had like lennon they had you know they had the thing of the beatles and the day lennon got shot the next morning so he put an extra at the fucking high school people were pissed no but what people were still doing is that there was no abby north bergen like no ball baseball did you know mr gallo the baseball coach mr gallo mr i know i that sounded familiar mr gallo the baseball coach when i was uh i was there was brady okay it was brady i know it's good i know who mr barone was though yeah he ran in school yeah dog yo he will he will light motherfuckers up dog you better be careful what the fuck you're wearing that day oh yeah yeah you better mind your pqs that was his thing him and terran over yeah yeah that was that thing there was this fat kid fat fucking short fuck that i used to think he was a blood and uh i remember he came in he had like a like a red hoodie on he called little red riding hood and the fucking plate i remember losing it because i was in i was in in school i was in school suspension i was fucking dying i hate that fucking little fat fuck you know it's just funny how yeah but i mean you're real even jimmy was like no no he's a fan oh yeah i'm like i don't know if he adopted that i don't know if there was influence you know when i was growing up in north bergen there was two influences it was the sabbath crew the pink floyd you know like they were all together and then you had the stones the beatles you had that crew i had no beef i loved the stones fucking loved the stones but i only seen the stones maybe twice i swam in 78 in philly and then 81 with the thing right i don't think i want to see him again after that i'm not gonna lie to you but i was sad to see him again after that i'm satisfied with this because the show in philly that was the album that was the setting he fucking he uh you know they wrote that album in new york city and you could feel it like you could feel it in there like that's a new york yeah that's a new york city out so he they really tapped into something and that was you know but that was a different camp i at that age the beatles were you couldn't explain them to me but they won every argument okay if you were a beatle fan you'd go go come back and go bro we went to see sabbath last night me and george van halen was there judas priest was there jesus came out into the solo and you look at me and go yeah but beatles are way better fuck fuck they always had you like that fuck and then finally john lennon died those motherfuckers disappeared so yeah right now it's sabbath so shut the fuck up with that shit so that's once john lennon died all those faggots went away they disappeared into the fucking almost fear like you'll never hear from them again because that was it that was always there the stones are a great band yeah but they're not the beatles god damn it you know i don't like deep purple i don't like none of those freaking creepy bands but there was always those beetle people and that's why he got shot on a monday by tuesday morning there was already an x on him on the wall north bergen i swear to god people the teachers were not happy about it fucking first period somebody had put duct tape and x them and that was it there was no respect there was no disrespect you know but it's funny that you know the lyrics and the whole thing it's just crazy to me oh no i did my research because like once that kid like because like when i was growing up mainstream was rap everybody listened to rap trying to be a gangster but uh like that that was like not everybody listened to sap i did my research i looked for it you look on see like i went to stores and shit bought albums on my own accord because i like bro i like i bro they they invented metal everything you hear now from punk to fucking punk grunge everything you hear now comes from sabbath and they didn't even know what the fuck they were doing no they're just they're a jazz band that fucking that's why i love that's why i liked sabbath so much they were a jazz band that just kept going for me it was like sabbath came in at the right time like i you know i was maybe 12 and i picked up war pigs you know paranoid and i really like that um my favorite song on that album is the one on side b about the needle and push the needle in and all that shit and they call it back for the rest of that that's brilliant they actually call something what's the fucking song on the other side what you're gonna do and the doom and the doom think even the title is tremendous and the doom you know and that was great and then i bought the first one i was going to seaside for a week with a bunch of guys i said that's cool the a track i bought the a track and i listened to it and there was girls with us and shit but we didn't give a fuck we had cold cuts and stuff yeah fuck them dude and then i went to a north bergen football game on the walk home you know where the kentucky frights the chicken delight is we were kids next to that was an album store very small never made a bundle it's probably a laundry service when i walked by they had to cover the sabotage i went right in and got it because at the stores unless you went out to crates the eddies or out to the mall was where you saw that deep of a whatever i'm lying to you the next time my guy was never say die then i got sabotaged and then i made the gall off mistake again three volume what's the time four well no what's the third round side with bloody sabbath no um that's the fifth house uh it's it's paranoid what's that album look i'm probably complaining no come on man it's got children of the grave on it oh it's got bunch of songs on it but it's got those scary songs did you ever thought about yourself after forever uh and uh that's uh that's uh yeah it's right there it's got master of reality yes master wow so i had a back off of master reality that's one of my favorites would you like to see some of these songs because i'm not sure what you're talking about but i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some of these songs that you're talking about and i would love to see some No, no, no. New York Avenue. Used to be across the street from a bar. That's where my dad was. That Macagna, maybe? I don't know. It's like a double. But across the street from there was a bar. And that's what they sold. They sold exotics. So I went and I bought an eighth of fucking angel dust. THC crystal. I'll never forget that. Why do they call it THC? Is that from weed? To scare white people. To not scare them. I can't tell you we're about to snort fucking animal tranquilizer. So THC crystal. How do you make it? You, you know, put steep weed stems in a thing and you boil it. And the white powder that comes, they dry. Yeah, sure. You know, whatever. But anyway, I went, I smoked some dope in that. Something was going on the next day. It was around Halloween of 1980. Because. The war came out in 79. But something was going on the next day. And all of us had to be home early. Like one of those long day tests. I went home. I put Master Reality on the earphones. And I put The Exorcist on the TV. I was living with. You're crazy. I was living with the benders. And I turned the TV off because John was going to be home until about 10. I was just going to go in there and moth. You know. Like just going to another system. And I remember like after I heard the Pope on the end of the rope. Do you think he's a fool? That wasn't going in my house. Nah, I think it's. My mom wasn't even alive and that shit wasn't going to play. I threw the speakers off and I put that album away. About for 20 years. I wouldn't really tap into it. I like Sweet Leaf. I like After Furlough. Another song that's a great song, but I don't want to hear it no more is Children of the Grave. Like, you know, you hear it constantly. But that was, and listen, man, I've had Never Say Die. Never Say Die's got a song on there called Junior's Eyes. I rank it in the top 10 songs I've ever heard in my life. You know what's the song I'm talking about? It's Never Say Die. It's Johnny Blade. And then it goes right into fucking Junior's Eyes. It's their last album, but it's a really good album. It really is. A lot of people tear it down. It's a very good album. It's really crazy to say this. Sabbath came into my life when I needed it. Like, I still listen to Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath, on Mondays. That's like a religion for me because when my mother died, that's what I listened to. That song picked me up a little bit. It was exactly how I was feeling. It's very dark. It's a very dark song. But after you lose your mom, I guess that's what fucking happens to you. You go dark, you know? Or anybody in your family, your grandma. It could be anybody. But I think about that, and I think about there was a girl I was in love with, and me and her went back and forth for four fucking years. And every time I get pissed at her, I throw on Sabotage. Yeah, what's the one song on there? The fucking, it just tears his girlfriend up. At the end of fucking, it's like, you know, Hole in the Sky. The Ritz, no, no, the Ritz on the other side. It's on the other one. Anyway, it's one of those songs. So they related to me from my feelings. Like, I was listening to, I'm not ashamed to tell these stories. I was driving up here listening to Pink Floyd Animals. I still remember going to the Bender's house with like a little, a quarter, a Coke, like a quarter, like $25 worth. And I had already acid in me. I mean, bro, you know, I was hurt fucking. I remember sitting in the dark in the living room with the speakers on my ear. Brian, just doing lines of Coke, thinking about my mother. That song, whatever, saved my life. I don't know. I don't know. It was just like bedding the therapist for me when I was growing up. To hear that type of music after my mother died. It just made me feel better. And it put legs under me. It made me feel stronger, you know. Pedro, I could see you looking at me like the mushrooms are hitting me. No. Like they're hitting you. I'm just listening, brother. It's just really crazy when Jimmy said that you were a Sabbath dude. It was very like, wow, is he a Sabbath dude? Because the North Bergen, is he a Sabbath dude? You know, what's your second favorite band? I'd say, I'd say, damn. Okay. And I didn't realize that. Maybe Metallica. Maybe Gallagher. Metallica. Yeah, Gallagher. Metallica. All right. I love a nice watermelon smash. It's a good fucking Gallagher, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I like smashing fruit. Hey, Uncle Joey here. You think DraftKings isn't available in your state? Well, think again, Jack. The cage is set and DraftKings keep the full card at your fingertips in one sport app. Live in all 50 states. Think about it. Download the DraftKings sports app right now and do me a favor. Use code. Joey, J-O-E-Y. What are you going to get? New customers can spend $5 and get 200 in bonuses within 21 days. That's code Joey, Jack. You're going to spend $5 and get 200 in bonuses. What else do you want? 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And then this week on, when I was in Austin, Wednesday, I wasn't feeling it. And I read this fucking thing this kid sent me. Nice kid. He just wanted advice. And he goes, you know, I'm lost at this age. Fucking crazy. How 28 is the age? As a man, you just wake up one day and go, I don't want to do this no more. This is bullshit. Like whatever job, whatever degree I got, I'm not going to do it. I'd rather do this, but I got to tell my parents and they're going to throw me out of the house. And I got to start from scratch for real, you know? Do you have any advice? And I was like. Well, those type of questions, I'd rather. They give me a couple of days. I don't answer them right away. But they. Because I don't want to say the stupid thing to somebody. Because I remember being 28. Boy, does that suck. That sucked to me. You have good luck at 28. Pedro, stop staring at me like that. No, I'm just listening. You look like fucking Charles Manson. I'll tell you what. Nah, 28 sucked dick. What were you doing at 28? I was going to open mics and being an alcoholic. Yeah. What are you doing? You're going to open mics. I'm going to open mics and having nice seltzers. Yeah, no, no. Now you drink seltzers. Now you smoke pot, you know? Smoking pot. It's just crazy the mental. I got in the car when I landed from Austin. I had to do something. It was like, oh, I had to go to Mercy's game on Sunday. And I thought. I thought about being 28. George and I were very tight. At 28, I dragged him out to Colorado to be with me or something like that. But 28 was. 28 was not when I felt bad. Like, I was confused the whole childhood. Like, not. I was confused after when you're supposed to become a man. Once you hit 21, dog, I was not a good 21. I could not deal with it. I was robbing. I was fucking. I had a new job every day. Every day I had a new job, Denny Braff. I wish I was lying to you. Like, you'd see me on Monday and I'd be delivering pizza. And on Wednesday, I worked in a bank as an executive. You know, you're like, how the fuck did that happen? God damn it. Because I didn't want to work. So I knew I could work one day at a new job. I'd work a day and then go back two weeks later and pick up the. $54 check they were going to give me or whatever the fuck it was. But it was just so fucking crazy how at 28, honestly, this is where I was at. Honestly. I wanted to get on stage. I didn't have the balls. I was doing pretty good financially. Not nothing to brag about, but I was on my feet. And I was about to go to prison. Like, I. I didn't find out. I was going to prison till the Friday before the Monday, Denny Braff. How's that work for you? The Monday before the fucking thing, you know? But let's talk about when I got out of there. The big part of my 28th is that's when my wife said enough is enough, you know? And I still remember being, let's lie a little bit, maybe 29. And like her saying she didn't want to be with me, me being happy. But I thought it was going to take a while. That bitch got her shit the next day. And she got it when I was at work. And she took everything. I was doing inventory of what she left me with. It was a milk crate in the living room with a thing to watch. You put your VCR and your TV in there. The living room had no furniture. The dining room area had. Did you ever come to that apartment? The new one, the two-floor one? The bed, she left me the mattress. She took the bottom of it and the thing. I just. I just lived on a mattress. I had a couple of towels. I had maybe. Yeah, yeah, you were there. It was. I probably had $800 in the bank. I had the truck her dad would let me drive. I was 28 and I was still borrowing a man's truck to let me fucking drive around. So for you 28-year-olds that feel bad about your life, suck on fucking that for a minute. And when she left, I had nothing. I had. Three months into stand-up. I got to tell you guys something I forgot about. So this is why it all leads to. It all leads to this shit. But I was. Let me just tell you how bad luck I was, guys. My wife left me. She moved in with another guy a month later with my child. Nobody gave me a warning. I was broke. Let's go through all that shit. So I'm starting to feel good about myself. And one night after comedy, like, this is. Me and my wife broke up like, Like October, this had to be like the third week of December. We were maybe 10 days from the holidays. I was going to get my daughter for Christmas Day. Everything was going to be fine. But in the middle of all this night, I could barely make fucking a grown man. I couldn't pay for one of the house a month rent, guys. I had to steal the rent every fucking month. So one night, I do comedy on a Tuesday. I'm feeling good about myself. I had a good fucking three-minute set, you know. And me and the comics went out for a couple bars, whatever, one particular bar. And some of them wanted to go home, but there was one guy. I still talk to him on Facebook. He goes, bro, my friend's working tonight at the bus stop. Let's go up to the bus stop. They'll let us in for free. And it's a strip club, you know, topless, but no pussy shots. But classy joint. Yeah. So we go up there, and the football team's there. And I'm talking to, I think, one of those guys, Canave, or the other guy. We're talking about whatever. And there's a Spanish girl that was really cute. She didn't look like she was from that side of the track yet. But she was three dicks from getting there. She was three dicks away from going that direction. But she came over, and she started talking to me, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And what do you do? And I told her I sold neon, and I fucking was trying to become an aspiring comedian. She was like, oh, my God, it's so interesting. And then she looked at me. She goes, how long it's going to take you to ask me on a date? I go, tonight? And she goes, no, no, no, whatever. Here's my number. Call me. Let's go out to dinner in a couple days. I go, when are you going to call me? She goes, give me a call tomorrow. So I wake up the next day, I wash my pussy, I have my breakfast, I do everything I got to do, and I call at like 3 in the afternoon. I go, hey, you remember me? Yeah, I've been looking forward to your number. I go, I got a comedy show Thursday night. I go, I'd love for you to come, and then we'll go eat dinner. Well, I'm on the phone with the guys. I got $3 in my pocket. At that time, I had a car that when you got in the car, you had to put a bungee to hold the fucking door from this side because every time you made a left turn or the fucking door swung open. Come on, guys. You guys don't know what pain is. I'm giving it to you. You're speaking my language, brother. That's not what I wrote the book. I know exactly what you're talking about. I told the author, listen, you got to help me to let these people know that I was actually fucking sucking dick, like I was dying. I was living day-to-day money-wise. Yeah. So I'm telling you. I'm telling this girl, and I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant, and then we're going to come do like a 10-minute spot at my friend's show, a horrible comedy show, the whole thing. They'd be like, hey, you had to sit in a desk at this comedy club. It was part of something else. They didn't serve booze. They served popcorn and nachos and shit like that. Okay. Now, me and my wife are separated. She's already living with the dude. I'm driving somewhere. I got no cell phone. It's fucking 88. Maybe 90. I got no luck at all. And all of a sudden, I got a pager, and it's my wife's work number with 911-911-911-911. I thought something happened to my daughter. I pull over. I call her up, and she goes, you know, you're a piece of shit. Come get your fucking stripper hoe out of my chair. And I go, what the fuck are you talking about? And she goes, come over here right now and get this piece of shit woman out of my chair. I just hung up the phone. I ain't going. I ain't going. I ain't going. I didn't take no stripper out. I didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't even know what she was talking about. Bro, the girl I asked out for Thursday night decided to get her hair done. Out of all the hair cutting places and what's that? Out of all the windmills, wind whatever, bar joints, you came to this one. She walked into the one, and God put her in my wife's chair, and this bitch told her that she was going out to dinner with a comedian. And my wife didn't finish cutting her hair. She just got in the car and left her there. It was a horrible fucking scene. This is what I, when I say to you, when people talk about bad luck, I will give you every fucking scenario. You'll feel like you're the lucky charm when I talk to you about bad luck. Guys, what is the luck of a girl that I met on a Tuesday night after a comedy show? What is the fucking, till this day, it was a CIA plan. Till this day. And she was gorgeous. She was very, it was a plant, man. And I, you know, I mean, I was going to tell, I was going to meet her at the gig. I would meet her at the restaurant that my car was in the shop. That's the number one excuse you could tell them, you know. And then we could take a cab over to the comedy show. And then hopefully a cab back to your apartment, but that never happened. So after that, my plan was canceled. My wife. My wife hated me even more. So just to let you guys know about bad luck in fucking decisions. Fucking. That's awesome. You know, you, you just think about when I was 28, man, I was staring down a fucking gun. Think about coming out of prison. Two years later, maybe I came out in 90. I was 27. Fucking seven. And I'm out there with, you know, no family. I had a, again, I had a girlfriend. I don't even know why I married her because I knocked her up. Yeah. That's the most Hispanic thing ever. I don't know why I married her. Oh, yeah. I knocked her up. And then a guy like, fucking, what's his name? Tom Brady marries a chick. She gets knocked over. He leaves her for the Brazilian chick. You know, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. On a fucking, no matter how much coke I snorted, I couldn't leave a chick pregnant behind. That's bad luck. He didn't give a fuck. He went out to win five fucking Super Bowls and shit. That motherfucker. Oh, my God. You know, and there's always, I think, how old were you when you got on stage, DB? Wow. Congratulations to you. How old, how old are you now? If you don't mind me asking. Okay, so 10 years. How old were you when you got into comedy? 28. And what was that? 28's a fucked up number. Yeah, I know. That's why 28's always the one. Yeah. Like, for me, it was 28 and I grew up at 44. 28 was the first time my body had a long talk with me. Where your whole mind sits you down and say, son, this time we had a little talk and shit. I'd already, you know. I mean, listen, when I got in trouble for that thing, kidnapping. I knew it was coming. I knew it was just a matter of days. It was going to be that or something else because I was running like a fucking savage. You can't do that. See, you could run around like a savage physically, but mentally is where that's worse than having an ego. You know, I would walk into a place. George would tell you. I would go to fucking a Dodge store in the morning. We wouldn't have no money for lunch. And I would ask the guys. What type of pens do you guys need? And I'd go right across the street and shoplift those. What would they call? Blanc. Blanc. Yeah. Yeah. Blanc pens. Those heavy duty white people pens. I'd go in and take eight of them and come back. I'd make the lady open up the card. Blanc. Whatever. I'd make the lady open up the bottom and I'd take six of them to go. And that was what I. Bro, that's not good. Because I never. I never let the miracle happen. I was just fucking working. But I knew at any time if you came up to me and said, do you want an ounce of Coke? I'd stop what I was doing. Fuck the job. They'd pay me 10 bucks an hour. This is a fucking ounce of Coke. And that's why I was out of control. I was out of control. Physically. Mentally. When you think you can do whatever the fuck you want. And that. That fucking put a brake on it. And I'm happy. I'm not depressed today that I got locked up. And I'm not ashamed either. Not ashamed at all. I'd be ashamed if I got locked up. And now I just had a ponytail. And I was telling stories to young kids at Subway. That'd be two different things. You ever go to Subway? There was always that one dude that you could tell he went to too many fucking rock concerts and then snorted glue. And life just blew him past. One day he woke up. And he's 51. And nobody wants to hear it. You're missing a tooth. You got no insurance. And Subway's the way to go. And you walk in there. And while he's making that sandwich, you feel like telling him, did you have a good time? Did you have a good time? Was it all worth it? Jumping up and down and smoking cigarettes. That concert was totally great. This is a time to stop. That's the other reason I stop at those concerts. Because those fucking, what do you call those? Those fucking career concerts? The people, look at them at the end of their career. They don't look good. Those women look like hell. Those tattoos, they got them when they were old. And now they're older. and that skin is fucking everywhere they're like Pete Davidson trying to take it off but they ain't got no fucking money it is insane when you go to those things so if you want to look like that way then look like that you know I have a dear friend of mine who I love with all my heart she was telling me that at 44 she just felt like nothing she never accomplished nothing I told her no but I had the same feeling at 44 like I was suicidal because the longest shot had been out everything happened for everybody else and nothing happened for me nothing and I saw that and that's the truth man I'm coming up on 19 years not doing coke and what inspired it was that thing that when I heard it on one of those mafia channels that John Gotti took over the the Gambino's and fucking uh he took over it's me sorry about that he took over the Gambino's at 44 at 45 years old I was 44 when I heard that I fucking cracked Jack I fucking cracked I was like I got nothing at 44 I'm barely paying a rent on $300 $700 rent and I couldn't pay $350 I had no car I had clothes that whatever the sponsors sent me that's all I wore the underwear I didn't wear them because it was either cocaine or underwear what do you want to do socks I wore two days in a row and I wore them till the big toe popped out either the fungus burnt the hole through it you guys don't know what I'm saying I had everything bare bones at 44 years old I was six years away from basically shooting out of a fucking thing and then basically what I did I went with my instinct instead of listening to fucking trainers and shit I went with my instinct I'll call agents I'm wearing my instincts we're the artists and you know you better than anybody you know what you can deliver 100% and what you can't why are we fucking around here write down the three things you want in your career and the things you're going to do to get to them it's not just saying I want a Maserati my friend said if I write this every day I'll get a Maserati I'll get one no no no no no I want you to tell me what you're going to do to get that Maserati and tell me again what you're going to do and stick to that fucking plan because that book doesn't lie to you when you go back to it three years from now you could either fucking I forgot shit I wanted three years ago I look at that book now it's not the shit I wanted but I'm one of the things I have mastered I got peace of mind again I got I went away from that whole Hollywood thing Hollywood well they don't want dirty comedy fuck you bitch comedy is comedy and it's not just that it's a bunch of other things that we as comedians think they got a rule on you got a thing called YouTube YouTube is the farm team ABC, NBC, Fox and every other network listen to what I'm saying to you that is the farm network you know what it cost you to put on that zero well you're sitting here telling me how hard life is if this is of course what you want to do you think YouTube is there to be YouTube YouTube is there because they're the farm team how do I know okay hey Joey how you doing you still taking new talent over there at CAA yeah absolutely I got a guy named Danny Braff before Braff comes out they're typing your name kid they're typing it to what YouTube that's how the world sees you but you're going to call me with some story about how come they're holding you back I'm black I'm Spanish I'm Jewish you know no you just don't you're just fucking procrastinating something I did for years too we all do anything that's going to make us better we procrastinate right you got if I tell you go get a pizza you'll go down there in five minutes but if I tell you meet me at the gym uh oh I gotta go home and put my bongo shoes on bongo shoes the stories and that dog that was me you know we had to put a story here when we first came on the podcast about it took you three years to get on stage and it took me a fucking year and a half what the fuck what the fuck is wrong with this shit and we both had the same fear we had the fear of succeeding which I think 90% of us have and it builds anxiety you got fear are you cheating this is not buy a fucking dollar and and hopefully you'll win 30 million dollars in the lottery this ain't none of that shit this is all based on you so we you know and dog I still want to kick myself in the ass for that year and a half I would have been so much better as a comic you know I would have been so much better as a comic three years it took them to finally you know we procrastinate the shit that's going to make us better I didn't know stand-up was going to change my life but I knew when I got off that stage it did the same way you knew yeah you weren't going back to no fucking day job never you ain't going back to no fucking training program you know your dreams of being a major league baseball player that's over just went down a fucking window you know it's over so it's pretty impressive all the things you control without fucking knowing for me they had put me on this first of all I never really had a comedy agent I had an agent I had guys that were not involved in the comedy realm they would call me and ask me questions about comedy you know what I'm saying like they would call me it wasn't until 2011 12 where I got with real agents and now but everybody's plan with me was completely different than the plan I took you know what I mean everybody was like I don't think that's going to work well we were here today obviously it fucking worked you know ask me what that plan was I got no fucking idea I got no idea but number one it starts by getting on stage every day and writing going back to the basics that's it going back to the fucking basics and this is again when we speak here it's not about comedy it's about something universally it's about the things we could do that we hold ourselves back for you know so I don't fucking know Pedro I know those mushrooms hit your heart but what they gave me a blast of fucking energy I haven't seen a motherfucker yet I'm waiting for him though you know what I'm saying I have not seen a motherfucker yet I saw something over there fucking creeping by the ladders behind you well that's why I don't look over there you know what I'm saying I started looking at you I was like yeah I saw that I thought you were going to stab me at some point nah nah nah I had to focus on you I'm like this motherfucker thinks I ran the bait there's a guy behind you over there with a sign and shit and I was like holy shit the worst about these mushrooms when you go home at night my wife is sleeping and I gotta go in the bathroom with the lights off and pee and there's that one purple light in the bathroom that scares the shit out of you and then you fucking go to your room you put your sleep mask on you put the fan on I set the fucking thing and as soon as I lay down it's like under those blankets it's like a different it's like I'm under the ocean yeah yeah dog that's why I got the lights in the voodoo lounge in the attic going you take it a lot deeper yeah dog I like to put the lights on but you know I have a church light I have a crucifix light on the corner just in case I get scared I'll go over there and chill I'll go over there and chill just so you can look over yeah yeah yeah oh my god but 20 28 28 was a was a crazy age what were you doing for work if you don't mind me asking 28 I was I was I was I was working for Samsung I was in I was at a corporate job corporate gig I was moving up I was doing it right and uh but I hated I hate I just hated having a I hated having a boss bro I just had a falling out with the supervisor and I fucking I couldn't stand anybody bro just working with like uh just always having somebody over you bro for every fucking move bro it just it pushes you to like to fucking do it that's why I've been writing I've been writing like I started writing jokes when I was 25 and like really writing jokes man like I was like like going off studying you studying a whole bunch of other people no stage time though no stage time that's what I did for a long time too three years just writing and then one day I got a big falling out with my supervisor little fucking short fucking fuck I wanted to fucking strangle him and uh it got to the point where I followed him into the elevator and I was like and I was like cause he probably threw me under the bus on an email to my boss for no no reason and that's when I realized I was like fuck this I'm gonna try to stand up I can't let these motherfuckers I can't let I can't have a fucking guy over me fucking being able to cut me off like just be able to fucking cut off cut me off of fucking funds like whenever he wants I can't I can't have that I can't have that cause I didn't you know I my parents like my parents are there but then you know we're not rich I don't know to grow up rich, I can't have nobody if i fuck up brother i'm homeless you know what i mean yeah no i know you know like like that that's that that's where i grew up if i fuck up i'm fucking homeless dog that's why when i like i had friends that they're getting a car accident oh okay yeah another car i'm like bro if i get in a fucking car accident it's over i can't get to work it's done like i'm gonna be i'm gonna i'm gonna have to stab somebody for money the answer to that feeling is playing for keeps now you know now your time is that more valuable you're not there to giggle about shit you know and that's what life teaches you like that's it we got to roll up our sleeves and for you you came from the same world i came from there was nobody to call i could call george he had his own problems i can't george with three thousand dollars mail it to me on instagram you know can't do that those days are long gone so i and that's why i played for keeps it's more serious it's got more you're more indebted to it you're playing for keeps every move you make you respect and every move you make is planned out even before you open your mouth it's fucking planned out you know and that's that listen i would i always loved having a job but this new corporate world he wouldn't make it for an hour i wouldn't make it too much from the 70s and 80s i can't you're not going to tell me to no overtime and then eight people come tell you and you get four emails and six flyers for one person to come tell you what 20 of these people could do it's a different job number two i'm like you again no excuses i'm just i'll paint the picture for you i haven't had a mom since i was 13 when was the last time i answered to somebody and there was two years before that where she just trusted me what do you want to do i'm doing this okay bye see you later so i've been solo for all this take how many chains now i could tell when my wife starts to do it once in a while i gotta pull her aside and go don't do that don't ask me where i'm going like i had a friend when i first started comedy and his girlfriend would call him at bars it's not gonna work what time are you coming home i don't know but i'm not going to give you a time and sit here like my mom's waiting for me to beat me that's the most uncomfortable position you got the worst is when you went on a date when you were in high school you got to be home by 11 it's 10 30 you suck on the titties maybe another half hour i could beat the clock you know what i'm saying it's worth taking the beating if she gives me a hand job even though our hand's going to be colder than oh my god it's one of those fourth avenue north bergen and jobs isn't it the best but i listen i don't i don't like that stuff either i can't i don't like people questioning me if you tell me in the morning joey this is what you got to do for me today i'm going to do it don't call me a tenant ask me if i'm doing it already 11 if i'm doing it already how did it go just give me the day let me figure out how i'm going to work this i'll go down and i'll talk to whoever i'm one of those guys you know as far as sticking on me for questions it's not going to work for us and my wife god bless her soul she understood it since day one so because she understood it she understood it everything worked out and now i'm grady i'm grateful for that and she doesn't feel bad about it now asking me i'll tell her you know i'm down the way i'm going here i even tell her like i haven't been up there in a year but i'll tell her if i'm going to that strip club i'll tell her to her face my wife just wants me to be happy so she knows i'm not going to fuck a dirty stripper yeah so far no i'm too old for that shit i see where they take him back there's like a little room i wouldn't even fit champagne room yeah the champagne room diet pepsi room a champagne was going to have a mattress with a whip one of those fucking things i could put them in the cage and they could dance in the cave you know you want to make my dick hard let's do this shit do this shit you like whips and shit no but i'm just saying what's wrong with you i'm a good good i've never seen a chick pull out a dildo nah nothing of that shit i couldn't you imagine eating some chick snacks and all she takes out a black dildo why am i like that yeah why am i here if you want to bring one ask me first that's never happened to me so why are we talking about it i i had a girl ask once she was like oh let's use the vibrator at the same time i was like get the fucking thing out of my face like she wanted to yeah suck it and i'll do my thing just suck and i'll play the bongos and you do what you're thinking but it's really important once you realize in life listen there's a couple things that are really important to you i don't want anybody to go through them okay i'm gonna tell you what the worst feeling in the world is knowing you're alone the day you're alone it's not as much as the death danny you okay you're looking around like christopher columbus uh then you realize you're alone your dad's gone your mom's gone maybe your sister you were tied with this gun it's a fucking it's a weird coincidence but i went through it when you realize that you're alone in this world listen to what i'm telling you not that you have a wife or any of that shit that shit's all good you know in the movies they talk about giving your life up for people that's in the movies that's the way people talk at bar mitzvahs or whatever the fuck does it happen in real life i can't expect my wife to jump off a building for me you know what i'm saying and i'm just saying this so what i'm pointing at is there's no worse feeling realizing when you're alone in this world that's two days of fucking your feet sink in and you're like it ain't gonna be good but you got to get up and go to work and still you just know that your steps are more valuable i don't know one of our best friends one time with ralphie ralphie loved being three hours fucking late you know love dream be out three hours late for everything and one day i called him on and he got mad at me it's me it's me don't worry about he got mad at me because i questioned him you know i'm saying knock it off guys because i questioned him and i said to him my time is valuable and he goes not as valuable as mine i go but you're not treated like it is and i said to him you're not treated like it is and i said to him you're not treated like it is if you treated your time value you've been here three fucking hours ago took him a couple days and then he apologized he understood where i was coming from that there's to a point in your life that you have to i could look at a notebook on my schedule and tell you where i'm gonna be till three o'clock every day to the minute to the minute you know i don't even know how we got in this stupid conversation you're alone you're alone you're alone you're alone man it's ugly it's different than somebody dying here you're not hearing me out this is when grandma mom and dad are gone that you go what the fuck just happened holy shit do i appreciate them more than ever these are all the parts of growing up that i hope nobody goes through this shit you know hopefully you put your grandma away later on in life and shit like that but things happen but it's called the bounce back from all this shit it's bouncing back you know in white america today they call it trauma as a child it's bouncing back if it's child trauma i think my most traumatic age was in my 20s that's when i suffered the most intense ear beatings when you realize you're not like everybody else your parents didn't put you through college you know you had a fucking suck dick to have a little car and you start yourself as it is happy i ended up a comic you know i'm happy that you're here with me yeah this all started out by being 28 yeah you got tears in your eyes yeah no because yeah no i was just thinking about my grandma shit yeah yeah it makes you realize a woman is not important but yeah yeah man this is a great life because this is how and now i have you here so now i look at you and the way your reflection because it's not like we're we're friends or whatever like that but we're both from the same fucking spot when did you graduate high school oh nine oh wow so i graduated well 82 that's 25 fucking years of difference but i see that you picked up the characteristics that moth north bergen pick up and that's loyalty that's you love your friends there's something about coming from that area like my daughter will never have this you know those kids are going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god and they grow up wednesday louis and end is coming to my house louis and enders was a kid yeah he's coming down to eat because he he's retired now so you know he's a kid i grew up with since the seventh grade went to mckinley we played basketball together all that shit my daughter's not going to be able to say that shit but these kids aren't tight she's 10 but every week a new kid comes in that fucking house except for nicole you know they don't have it's about those north bergen streets that made us tighter as a unit and a toy. you to breathe for your friends not just be a friend there's a difference between you know listen one thing i know about george is he knows i breathe for him and i know he breathed for me that's on on even thinking about it without even thinking about it i know that man there he breathed for me the same way i breathe for him that's a gift that people don't have in this life they don't have that they have friends that they go to bars with you you know so much fun you know with you but there's no substance there wow oh yeah hit me like a black dick hit me like a black dick at a diddy party just went bam now i know what those white hookers felt like you know you know and we do come from a weird place i was just talking with my barber today about it i had my cousin he's gonna cut your hair how does he know about weird what the fuck i'm just teasing oh he's a weird guy no we were talking about it because i had uh there's a one point like i think i was like 18 years old my my cousin from orlando came over came and visited and he was like singing on my front porch and he's like wow this is you know it's a nice neighborhood it's nice and quiet two minutes later a kid is running away from a model car and he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die and he was about to get jumped got fucking beat the hell up right in front of my house that's crazy yeah it's insane but it's just so weird how i always thought something was going i listen i never felt out of but what i'm trying to say is i always felt out of place you know and it was i don't know growing up in that area i don't know union city mixing it up i always felt like i had the upper hand on people i still remember being 18 19 and going to mid new jersey like where i live now we ran circles around it was two different style of kids it was two different style of kids you know those kids weren't going and fucking taking a bus and going into the city and walking to the garden and fucking yelling down the street like animals they just didn't grow up like that no we i don't know if we came from a window in time and i speak about this all the time we came from a certain window in time something that allowed us to be like this that freedom yeah dad was watching an episode of sopranos and tony asked aj if he wanted to go fishing with him he goes no i'm going to the mall he goes what and he goes yeah i'm going to the mall me nicholas this some girls we're just gonna walk he goes what do you do at the mall he goes oh wait we you know we drink we eat and we walk around he goes all right go ahead but the next day he told the psychiatrist you know and she was like were you mad that he anyway i lost my story i'm sorry no so i forgot what i was talking yeah instead of fishing yeah instead of fishing i forgot what the point was the whole fucking thing fuck yeah this room's all good i do i do love where i where we grew up though i'm very proud of it even when i drive up here and i see those tunneling streets look like something below poverty yeah let's fuck our town looks like below fucking poverty 70 of that fucking town looks like they should just drop a bomb in it the houses are from 19 fucking 01 you could see it no growth but anyway why are we talking about that it doesn't matter yeah it's just you know but i'm very proud from where from i'm very proud that when we do a podcast now together i see where you're from i'm very happy that you're here you make me very happy wow i got like an itch tonight like a coke rock that stayed in there yeah jesus christ that was that punch from that fucking microphone it's good to see this for me like there's another kid from north bergen that wanted to do stand-up wow because when i wasn't growing up nobody even knew about stand-up except for that fucking chooch and mike askley's that's it that's it that's who i spoke to about comedy later on you know it was never i just i mean i don't remember talking to anybody about comedy no never well i talked to them because i would go to mike's at night and we'd watch letterman and we'd always wait to see what the comedian was and just george got me with the movies and shit and that was part of what i was doing but i knew that i was never good enough to be part of that shit so in my mind i was never why even think about it i was never gonna be fucking you know looked at that way right i'm just gonna be a guy that looks like he's from northern new jersey you know like that's it that's all i'm gonna offer so i was wrong that's what i thought but if i if if they weren't they would never pick me yeah because i thought they were gonna pick me i'm never gonna pick me i'm a fucking who am i well then it flipped around now you gotta make them flip you exactly now you gotta make them and they will the more they spend time with you and shit like that you know i think the biggest gift i've got the last 20 years is this whole thing with my ex-wife and now let me see my child and i'll tell you why because her initial plan and i love this her initial plan was like give it three years he's gonna end up in jail or die from a heart attack you'll never hear from him again that bitch wakes up every morning goes i can't believe that dude's still alive and now he's slinging dick with three hands he's not the same man i was involved with 20 30 years ago at the time that makes me really proud of myself you know shit like that i'm sorry about what happened between us i'm sorry i have no communication with my child but you know what in the big picture it's all okay you know that means the world to me i don't even know what we're talking about this either what do you think over there you look like you didn't two pounds of fucking muscle he's just looking at me like oh fuck but that's it and that's that man that's it happy you're here pedro i'm happy to be here brother you know and it's like any other thing listen it's a new podcast guys okay you know you people saying stupid shit whatever i don't give a fuck but you can't kill pop pedro and you can't kill me until we find the rhythm between you and i the church i was doing the last two years there was no rhythm there was no rhythm this podcast was over two years ago but today i feel completely differently about this and i feel that this young blood and me once we get our wheels turning in the same page it's going to be not good for the fucking regular people you know it's not gonna be good for fucking you know half of the shit that's going on here so give us a chance give pedro a chance and it's like anything else guys after a while we're just gonna shine like i've done every other avenue with you guys have some fucking faith in me all right this week thursday i got the dojo of comedy pedro will be there with me also yeah and then november's when the party begins november 5th at the chicago theater november 7th at the ridge whatever it is the riverside theater in milwaukee i'm excited for that one and then the 19th i'm back doing my residency at the mothership and then so on and so on but remember this week i'm at uh the dojo but then october 30th or the 29th i'm at the west uh improv liberty live so please catch me at one of those shows we have no merch nothing like that i just want you to come see me why try to sell you a hat or whatever let's let's rekindle the love you know i'm saying but i love you guys and i've always will stop shooting us down we're just getting fucking started and if you know anything with me once we get this motherfucker started we're gonna have a problem bitch so have a great week i love you cocksuckers you