Ask, Tell, Confess: The Oversharing Has to Stop

Ask until we're confronted. [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [LAUGHTER] How's that for your mesothelium? [LAUGHTER] Hello, friends. Welcome, everybody to Shibu. Boom, boom, Shibu. [MUSIC] That was a good one. That was great. How do we all, like, really, like, we? Well, India is the same time. I don't know, you guys had that much rhythm. That was in band. What'd you play? They're in it. How's everybody doing? I didn't play the trombone, but my arms are too short. How's everybody doing this week? Great. Wait. Did you say you played the trombone? [LAUGHTER] What's that hell? Yeah, my arms are too short to reach something else though. So I had to add a switch. Did you picture or the user leg? Yeah. Did you get the bucket trombone? And I would throw it sometimes. It would just go flying out. Wait, does it not come to a stop? No. No. I tell you so. How did you know that? Because I was in band two. Wow. You guys are fucking dorms and teacher. Just kidding. I did play the clarinet for a little bit. I was in band. I played the viola. What? I was also in color card. I played the viola. And I was a crosswalk officer. What is that? Excuse me? Yeah. I have to wear the badge and everything. Don't we let the kids go? Yeah. Stop. Like the people I have to stop for were the kids. Did you hold the sign? Yep. Stop. Yeah. It was great. Stop sign. Yeah. Stop sign. Yeah. Stop sign. It was another life. Yeah. How old were you when you did the fifth grade? Okay. But I also was in band. I was like 20 years ago. I'm sorry. I wasn't in band. I'm such a fucking liar. I didn't want to be in band because I thought that the band was nerds. I was in orchestra. It's even worse. I know. No, no. That's a wire. Can I play the viola? We didn't. Is it like a violin? It's a violin, but it's a big, fat or chunky version of it. Yeah. The thing for chunk. Oh, it's great. You know, I used to gross myself out by rubbing the chalk on. I can't even think about it right now. I get goosebumps thinking about it. But you know how you have to like, I don't know if you ever played a string instrument. You have to chalk up the strings on it. I know. So you rubbed the chalk on it. Oh god. I was like, what is it similar to like when you play pool? Yeah. Yeah. That grosses me out too. Really? I don't know that it does. I just like to do that. Yeah. I stand there because I think it looks cool. Yeah. You should be rubbing it. Yeah. It looks like I'm about to do something cool, but I don't really miss. I love it. I want to call in a lifeline because Mama Susan used to clean hotels. Okay. Do it. Oh. I know. And I distinctly remember her telling me a story. Hi, babe. Mom. I love it. She answered on a half a ring. What's a, what's a dirty hotel room story? You can tell real quick. You're on the podcast. Hi, Mama Susan. Amy, I can't tell it. Mom. Tell it Susan. Say it Susan. Do it now. Okay. So I was cleaning a whole bunch of rooms. And then I got to this one room. And there was like red stuff like everywhere. I mean, it was, it was like everywhere. Like looking around. I thought, kind of something gets shot in here. Oh, no. I guess they were doing it when she was on her period. Oh. Oh. Oh. There were hunks. Oh. Oh. So disgusting. Mom. Did you just say hunks? There are hunks. Oh, God. God. Big hunkenop. It's not the truth. Okay. That's what I needed. I love you. Oh. Bye. I hate it. Bye. I hate it. She's so close. You yelling at my mom? I love you. I love you. I said do it now. I love you guys. I love you. You know, even better, she just told that story in public because I checked her location. She's in Hoppy Lobby. Oh, she said she could. And you guys, Mimi's mom is like the most wholesome sweetest woman ever. She's a homemaker, you guys. No, she's literally the sweetest. When I was 15, I was a bus boy at a local resort, Little America. They just put the name out there. Little America, Cheyenne, Wyoming. Occasionally, the restaurant I worked in would ask one of the bus staff to deliver room service to one of the rooms. They always asked mail staff for safety reasons. On one occasion, I was asked to deliver a trade to a room. I took the trade to the room and a scantily clad woman answered the door. I never went in the room, but I could see that there were about eight or nine men and women in their 60s to 70s, all of them nude in the room. Even at 15, I knew the room smelled like sex. I remember I was tipped well, went back to work, and no one ever asked how things went, and I never really mentioned it to anyone because I didn't think anyone would believe me. That my love was a swing or party. Oh, okay. That had a little bit. A little swing or party going on. All right. Those old people get down. Old swingers, they don't care. They will let the gray, wiry ball hairs fly. I feel like that would be like Velcro. Listen, we're going to be there one day. We're going to have wiry, old gray hairs. I won't because I shaved mine, but yeah, you guys well, because you have a bush. Bro, why do you think I have a bush? You told us you had a. No, I said I don't shave it like skin. Like there's like this much hair. That's not a bush. So you have a five o'clock shadow? Why? Why? Doesn't he get razor burn when you guys bat? Barney Rubble over there. That's got a hurt, dude. I would hate that. It's not. I don't have course hair, though. We have to show us. We need to see it. Showing you guys my vagina. Like God. I'm going to jail. Should we talk about it? You're just going to tell the internet this? Why would I not tell the internet this? I tell the internet everything anyways. I can feel her clenching. So your girl got in trouble with the law. Not intentionally. What happened was I got a ticket in 2020 in Alabama driving home from like a family vacation. Do I remember getting this ticket? Absolutely not. But for some reason our daughter does. She remembers. She's like, yeah, mom. You remember it was like April of 2020. And I'm like, how do you remember that? But she remembered it. Anyways, I got pulled over. So here's the thing. I literally I have I have three vehicles. Two of them I have never gotten pulled over and never had a problem. This new one that I got because I have it designed. It looks like big worm would be driving it. Okay. It looks like a drug dealers vehicle. I have been pulled over twice in this fucking vehicle. I even warned you. Literally, get this freaking I'm driving. I get pulled over by this officer. He gets out. And you could tell he thought it was going to be a drug dealer that was in the car. He's like, you need to roll your windows down like yelling at me from the back of his car. Right. So I had to put all the windows down because the tent on it's really dark. And he walks up and he sees that it's me and Monica in it. So he gets nicer. And he's like, he's like, you know, your tent's a little dark blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I'm sorry officer. I'm getting a prescription for it, whatever. So he's like, cool. Just let me run your license. And he's like, I'll let you be on your way. And so he runs my license. And he comes back and he goes, do you know that your license is suspended? And I was like, what? I said, when? How? How could this happen? I was like, I'm like a freaking upstanding citizen these days. Like, what are you talking about? And he's like, yeah, suspended from a ticket in Alabama. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, no, I didn't know that. And he's like, well, I'm going to let you go with the warning. He's like, we get it fixed. And I'm like, oh, thank you so much. He was so cool. Shout out to that officer. So anyways, I go home. I get ahold of Alabama. Find out that the tickets from 2020 instantly pay it. It gets paid. I got it paid. I paid it at the end of October, like October 20th, right? So I'm assuming that everything's fine. And my license is reinstated. I'm, you know, driving the other day. I might have been speeding. I don't know. I can't confirm more. And I'm going down the freeway. And literally I passed this officer and he is outside of his car, gunning people, you know, him and I make fucking eye contact. While I'm racing by eye contact, right? So I get all the way to almost my exit. And I'm like, that was a close one. And what do you know? I look in my freaking river mayor. And here comes this fucking officer on my ass. So I have anxiety because from, you know, I'm like, oh, my God, it's my driver's license still suspended. It shouldn't be, you know, whatever. So I roll the windows down. He comes over and he's like, do you know that you were doing 88? And I was like, okay, you know, like I didn't know what to do. Yeah, I was just like, okay, that's what you're saying. But I don't believe I do. You know, I was going to argue with him. He's like the every license in registration. He's being a fucking dick. And I'm just like, oh my God, dude. So I just told him straight up. I got pulled over a month ago and I was told that my license was suspended. I paid the ticket. It should be reinstated by now, whatever. So he goes to his car and then he comes back and he's like, no, your license is still suspended. And I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm like, I'm so sorry, what do I do? He's like, well, it is an arrestable offense. And I'm just like, fuck, dude. And he's like, but I'm not gonna arrest you now. He's like, but sometime this week, you need to go down to the jail and book yourself in. First of all, I didn't know that was an option 'cause I know growing up as a criminal, if you give me that option, I'm never checking myself in. You know what I'm saying? This is not, we're not going to a five star resort here. You were being punk-figged. Yeah, I know. It was crazy. And I was just like, okay, so I agreed to whatever. And then he made me in Monica Switch so that Monica can drive or whatever. Come to find out the ticket was paid. The ticket was paid October 24th. So I don't know why it's still suspended, but I got my lawyer on it, whatever. So it looks like your girl is gonna have to go book herself in. And if I do, you guys have seen all my past mug shots, right? I'm going in glam to the fuck up, baby. We are going to give you the works. No, and I'm going to. And yes, and I'm going to vlog it. For when I need the old mug shot, back be the new mug shot. When I told my lawyer that I was going to vlog it, he was like, no comment. I love my lawyer so much. But yeah, so that's a. - Do we talk about them possibly holding you? - I hope they don't. I have anxiety. I don't want to be held. - I have a horrible fear that we're going to be waiting outside with cameras and you're not going to come back out. - I won't go there unless my lawyer goes with me. There's no way. Like I'm not built for prison or jail. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. My OCD. Don't they take your eyelashes? They better not. I will go fight. They better not. They better not. They better not. I know we're laughing about it. And it's no joking matter. Don't drive on a freaking suspended license. But I didn't know. This tickets from five years ago, we got pulled over in Vegas that one time. Why were you not? That was like within a year. Yeah. You were running your stuff? Yeah, he did. Yeah. We got a ticket. Yeah, I got a ticket. Actually, I've had two tickets. Remember, didn't we get pulled? Oh, I would know Charlie was driving. Wasn't he driving? I was driving in the car. You were driving. Monica's on my lap. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I got pulled over again after that. Man, I get pulled over a lot. Now, let me think about it. Gosh. But that was in Vegas. Yeah. That doesn't count. He goes. You told the officer. And I wasn't driving my car. I was driving my husband's that looks like a fucking drug dealer's car. You told the officer, well, the speed limit in Tennessee is, and he said, "Man, this is Las Vegas." Yeah. That was funny. Yeah. I know. Well, I thought I could get away with it. Listen. All these women are always talk about how they have, like, these great experiences with cops and how cops let them go. And, like, you know, they can just bat their eyelashes. Cops hate me. They literally do not like me. I don't know why, but I've never had that experience. So, who knows? To you, ladies. To be get a one. Cool one that just recently. Yeah. Shout out to him. Yeah. Actually, shout out to him. But other than that, no. I don't have cool ones. It's always like the guy who's making me go get fucking booked, you know? That's so funny. That was funny. Yeah. [laughs] He used to snort cocaine and use my pinky nail to snort cocaine. And now, I use my pinky nail to put magnesium in my water bottle. What a life change. I have not been feeling great because of this freaking red S. If you guys want to hear about it, just go and, uh, listen to this, this week's podcast and we're going to a little bit more detail about what happened and stuff. But, yeah. Why, how times have changed. It was the funniest thing because Momo and I were driving yesterday and she wasn't feeling good. And I was like, you need electrolytes. So, I pulled out a baggy. It's literally a sandwich bag full of electrolytes. It looks like fucking an eight, like an eight wallet cocaine. And, uh, she's like, what is our life? She's like, this is, it never used to be like this. I was like, now I know what if I can, parents were talking about like, have fun while you're young because in your 40s shit hits different. All right. So, who's going to kick this off, reading some of these Yelp reviews? I got a really good one. I want to kick off. No. Okay. So, this one, uh, so she gave him one star. If you're looking for an alcoholic woman beating church going man, uh, that's a lot of mind. Damn it. Church going man with a huge dick. Then I recommend you give him a try at it. I must give him five stars for that gorgeous dick. Uh, ten and a half inches long and as wide as a cocaine, it was so beautiful. Always worked whenever you needed it. God, it sounds glorious. I mean, the description alone was grand. It gave it to us. And why is it the most toxic men have the most beautiful fucking appendages? Like they literally have the most beautiful cops. That's why. Yeah. They're all cock. That's all they care about. They've never had to develop. It's like the ugly girl. Like when you grew up ugly, you got to develop your personality because you weren't pretty when you were younger. Yeah. You know, so it's like guys, they don't have to develop a personality because they're like, I got that. Yeah. Because they got a big all-fucking hog in between their thighs, my little horny toad. Okay. Yeah. Negative a hundred out of ten. He thought he would try to make a family with me. And then when it really came down to Niddy Gritty in the parent part, he said peace out. His family also is extremely toxic and likes to fight with anyone who gets to challenge these their precious little grandson, who's 38, by the way. Oh. Also, the man had zero hygiene and smells like twisted tea and dirty balls 24/7. Oh. No. I would not recommend. If you receive him, please return to send him immediately. You don't even look in the box. Just send him straight back to hell where he belongs. Yeah. She didn't know what's back. That was a baby daddy that she was like fuck this dude. You are having a rough time. My next week of Redda has been way better than the first week, guys. I severely lowered my dose, watered down the old rat tattooey, and yeah, I feel like your girl feels good, except I feel like I'm going to puke right now because I had to take an antibiotic too, so you're going through it over there. That's how my day is fucking going, man. How about you guys? Mm-hmm. Don't. Pretty good. Horny? You say? We have all agreed that Redda has made us all horny. I thought it was just obvious, but then she brought it to the table. She said, "How do we feel?" And we all went. Yeah. The last night makes sense. Yeah. It's best week. Yeah. I've been, I've been really, raring and ready to roll. I'm like, where is this coming from? That's nice. Yeah. I don't mind it. I have sparks still left in the old bug. All right, so we-- Oh, the Rigor Morole. Yeah, the All Rigor Morole. Come on, Hailey. Say, give me a little Rigor Morole. Rigor Mor-- I hate it. She hate those words together. Mimi said it downstairs, and she was ready to fucking fight people. This one's rough. Yeah. Shrapin. Kate. She said, "Well, not my story, but I did." I did receive a quick call from my bestie while she was in a panic. Her two-year-old daughter, this girl, gives us a run for her money, was eating fruit snacks. When bestie noticed something dripping from her mouth, she quickly ran over to examine what was going on. The little had blood gushing from her mouth. Bestie picked up the fruit snack, and it had legs. It, indeed, was a swollen tick that fell off their dog. It was blood from the tick from the dog. Oh, and the dog is being treated for limes. So she quickly called the nurse's line and the nurse clearly had to make some calls. When she got a call back, a little had stumped four nurses and three pediatricians. They were told to watch her closely in the upcoming days and all as well with little until our next crazy adventure. I'm crying because I'm gagging so much. What fucking would make that little girl think a tick looked scrumptious? What about a tick as tantalizing for a child? I get it though with the really big ones. They look like gushers. I don't know if you've ever seen them on like cows and horses. The really big ones look like gushers. They never thought they looked like a gusher. They look like fuckers. I mean, when you're like little, you probably don't know anybody. It's got damn legs. That's true. I mean, that is true. I've never once said that. And I bet you, it was like very docile though, 'cause that means it was like full, full docile. All right. Why is he flexing his butt hole like that? - Ew. - It's talking to us. - It's a cool way to do it. - Okay. - Crochet Allen Jackson get up here right now. - God. - It's dog just strutting around. You got a poop? (laughing) - I just, the whole tick thing is disgusting. - I freak out with tick, yeah. - You have you guys ever had a tick on you and then like when you pull it off, like you can literally feel a crunch. - What? - I just had one in my head and you can feel it. It's like when you pull it off, 'cause you can feel like ripping. - Stop. - 'Cause it's got it's like hooks in you. - It does. - Digs its head into your skin. I pulled one off my arm the other day, but I felt like for like the next hour. - I was like, 'cause it's like a venom that they have or something. - It's like numbs. Have you ever had one? - Yeah, I grew up in the Midwest. - I thought I had one. Black yard one time remember what I found that you made me look and I thought it was a tick. Yeah, she bent over the couch She said hey, I need you to check them for ticks. Yeah, it was a mole in my like mole in the hole that look like a tick We all checked it. Yeah, I think you just wanted to show us your but hole. Yeah, I think you never want to show anybody my but all I mean she's cute though I'm seeing her but he's been through a lot online She's been through a lot online Hi, I mean, do you know what you're about? All looks like honestly. No, you've never spread your cheeks in the mirror I have done that but I'm not as like add y'all to like see You know, like I know you just look in the mirror, but my mirror's kind of high so whenever I like you've never put a mirror on the floor I never try standing on the counter though or you know the one of those selfie Yeah, or no or get one of those mirrors that like goes up against the wall and you lay it on the ground and you just squat over it Never thought about one of my confesses literally says I took a picture of my but hold to see my hemorrhoids and it's actually kind of cute Not friendship drama, but my sister and I both hooked up with at least two of the same guys without knowing for years And I first dated her husband back when we were teenagers Then dated her husband's twin brother a couple times and that's when brought so much drama with his baby mama How did you not know are you and your sister not that close you guys not talk are you guys just fucking people and like and not telling like what is she said? I dated a few times. So that means fucked a few times How how does everybody not know about each other and the dudes that are sleeping with the same girls how are they not saying anything also a twin He looks the same There's a twin, but then there's also the the her husband She slept with her husband and his twin first of all the brothers definitely had to have known that you guys fucked unless It's just a whole fucking secret society and everybody's just passing around fucking bodily fluids But the something about that does not sit right with me. No, they had to have known yeah unless you guys live like Opposite lives and just don't are just sisters that don't communicate. Yeah, but I couldn't understand how One of the guys would have been like hey, I fucked your sister, you know, yeah, that's crazy Yeah, it's why you're doing like Instagram stalking or Facebook stalking. Yeah, it was social media nowadays. How do you know it? Yeah, that's weird to go as far as husband is wild crazy I would never want to I don't even want to hook up with my friends left overs. No let alone like I could never be a homie hopper. There's no way I Would never hook up with one of my friends husband's like that's fucking weird. They were already married or this was before it was I didn't even want to see I didn't even want to feed Jason cake without asking Can I can I feed him? Yeah, yeah, I mean listen, okay, hold on Let me paint this picture for you. We're at a buffet in Las Vegas and it's a huge buffet and I forget I we were at the dessert. Yeah, you're both sugar free. Jason sugar free. Yeah, sugar free So we're sugar free and I was trying a sugar free dessert and just like if I was trying something and I would give it to one of you guys I went to go give it to Jason and then I was not hands full of plates. Yeah, cuz he had hands full of hands full of plates And I went to go give it to him and I was like and for Jason was just like, you know I was the dessert, you know And I was like I will like this is stopped right in front of his mouth and looked at her and I go can I feed your husband? And she was like, yeah bitch, you weirdo. I was like look, I don't fucking know, you know like I just always want to have respect. So They want to be weird. Oh It's good. It's not It's A little pungent But then you're gonna be able to get used to it. It's not like they over-promissated with a cinnamon Better way better I'm gonna imagine hooking up with my sisters fucking leftovers or anything all right We're gonna go out with a bang baby and listen I told you the guys came through this week for me and I was a guy look. Hey, it's all that Maybe he's getting prepared. I'm really nervous. She's gonna say come again It's not like that handle that word anymore Bro, I'm missing an entire all that I'm hearing of hair on my leg. Yep. You did oh wait. I'm so sorry. This is a female I am so horny all the time. It's almost unbearable. She's 24 female I masturbate multiple times a day almost every day and it barely touches how desperate my body feels It's like scratching an itch that never stops itching. I am wet almost constantly My thighs clinch on their own, and I desperately want to feel something inside of me all the time My clit throbs and my pussy clinch at the slightest turn on. I'm still a virgin what and That makes it feel both harder and hotter Every fantasy every imagine touch feels like it's driving me totally insane It feels like I am desperate for someone to notice to take control and fuck me I am soaking wet right now just writing this and probably going to masturbate after posting does anyone else feel this way or am I alone here? Will I grow out of it? She's still intact. That's wild. What is up with all the extra details? God Would you rather than be vague like Christina or big? I mean okay, so to answer the question I Know what it's like to be that horny because I have been that horny before but it comes in like cycles of the month So I'm wondering if maybe she's a little bit more near during like her ovulation or right before her peers like she's throbbing all the time There was no waves there guys that seems like it's chronic I don't think there's anything wrong with it though. She's 24 maybe it's Mimi you know what I'm talking where it happens all the time that no, that's what I was thinking. What's that no narcolepsy? That's what I was thinking. I was like maybe Fuck fuck I think she's 24. She's horny Bit boys are like that. Maybe she has more testosterone than I mean you've got the testosterone of a UFC fighter I do I do but yeah, I think you're normal. I think if you just keep rubbing it out. Yeah, just keep fucking plant It's fucking play the fiddle legal, so yeah, you're not hurting anybody You're not maybe she's just ready. I don't know. I don't know All right on that note you guys were out of here Tudaloo Love you. Bye-bye