Ask, Tell, Confess: Girl, You Left Him for THAT?!

Ask until you can feel it. [Music] Let me bet if I Uber Eats just one cucumber. Just one? Probably good. She's going to roll. Right. Okay. For the sauce, there's so much sauce. There's a lot of sauce. I noticed that. It's going to roll a soupy at the end. At least I need another cucumber. Soak up the sauce. Dude, you should make it a really thick one. Thick. What sauce are we talking about? Yeah. Like, make the slices thicker. A little bit thicker. What are you making? Oh, mix it up though. Do you thin and thick? What are you making? Yeah, I can't do just straight thick. That was the thin ones. Like, cucumber salad? I've never had it yet. [Music] It's crazy because you walked up to me with it like- I've tried to force you to eat that cucumber salad for the past couple of months. Yeah. Something about people feeding me- Yeah. When people feed me, it's like, I get weird. Okay. I won't feed you. I'll just leave it on the counter. Yeah, it's going to be like- It's like a cat. You know when you leave food out. You can't actually feed cats treats. You can't approach a cat. Cats got to approach you. Gotcha. Like, leave it out. Oops. Forget about it. Don't look at you. Type of thing. Mm-hmm. Or just make it look very enticing in the fridge. Like a clear- Maybe a little setup around it. Like, candles. A clear tupper would do it. Okay. We don't have clear tupperware. Like a glass one. Is it tupper or tupperware? Tupperware. Tupper. Tupperware. No, pu. Not buh. Tupperware. I get where you'd be confused. Tupperware. Where? Because it does look like a tub. You know. I think it's the brand. Tupperware. Tupper. Who owns Tupperware? Who owns Tupperware? I don't know. What do you think their name is? Tupper. Tom. Tom. Dick and Harry. Do we say Dick and Harry? Tom, Dick and Harry. Wait, the dick is Harry. Tom, Dick and Harry. So Richard? Richard. Richard. Richard. I think I get Richard would own Tupperware. Richard, yeah. No, Richard sells Tupperware. He does. That's the top salesman of the Minecraft. Ladies only that. Like he goes door to door. Yeah. He got a mustache. Like the boy in dynamite. Uncle Rico. That's perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Oh. Oh, they found bankruptcy. Y'all. Is it Richard? No. His name is Earl Tupper. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Earl Tupper. Let me see a chat. Earl Tupper. Who are you guys? Oh my God. I love Earl. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Tupper. Earl Tupper. He owned it from 1938 to 1958. And then, Dart Industries took it over in 1958. And now, Tupperware is not even that old. No, 1938. That was a whole year. Yeah, it was a whole year. I mean, it's still in 1900s. Yeah. I thought Tupperware was around like fucking nearer. Oh, and then 18 years later. For someone. Do they have plastic back then? I don't know, but they did follow Bankruptcy. I feel like it's a lot of glass. 2024. Yeah, I don't think they had plastic back in the year. Wait, did they follow Bankruptcy? In 2024. Damn. How do you fucking go broke having Tupperware? It's Tupperware, everyone has it. Everyone has Tupperware. Yeah. I think that was a scam to get more money. Ooh. You know, I feel like a lot of companies follow Bankruptcy just so that they clear their debt for the next six years. What is it as long as you file a chapter 13 and not a chapter 7? You're okay. Yeah. Yeah. Chapter 13. Is that what it is? It's vice versa. It's one of them. You know. Are we rolling? Yeah. All right. Hello friends. Please clip the whole. Leave the Tupperware. Go know this. You guys just got to tune into a real conversation that we actually have. Yeah. Go to genuine. Yeah. Go to genuine. Yeah. Go to genuine. Yeah. Go to genuine. That was good. That was really good. Thank you. I think you're going to have to do it more. I had to open my diaphragm. I did it. Yeah. Open the diaphragm. Yeah. That's good. Good stuff. Set up. Yeah. How's everybody doing? We're all fucking tired, man. We went to Disneyland yesterday. Oh. Was it 3,500,000,000 steps? Yes. 4.5. Yeah. It was crazy. It was so fun. I know. We started it hot with cookie shots. You did. What? I didn't get one. We were waiting for you guys. And. They were $20 a piece. Oh, I believe it. Let me just tell you. Everything a frickin' Disneyland cost me. You are now. I'm in a frickin' leg. It's a luxury to be able to go to Disneyland. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. How much money do you think they make in a day? It's just Disneyland. I feel like I looked this up one time. I feel like it was like 1.2 million. Yeah, it's definitely one. And we looked up how much years are just a year. And like, it's almost 100 million. Less? Yeah. Yeah. Just for the years. And what? Churros? $6 a piece. God. About $20. We did. Churros was good though, huh? Yeah, but guess what? With Disney ballcrumbs. And very cream cheese. How was I been enjoying it? It was fire. It was fire. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. Yeah, it's because I'm Mexican. It's like, you don't. Mm. If I told my mom had dipped my churro in like a cream cheese. She'd be like, excuse me. She'd beat you. Yeah. No, she'd be with a chocolate or a chocolate. Chocolate? Yeah. She'd beat you with a chocolate. Yeah. She threw it short. Yeah. Did you get hit with those a lot when you were little? Yeah. It falls within range. I was catching a chocolate. Mm. Yeah. How's it feel to get hit in the back of the head with a chocolate? It happens quick. You don't know what it is. You don't know what it is that for it. And they're like, oh, it's a freaking shoe. My mom got aimed. She'll beat me. You always wanted to do that. Yeah. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it next time. That's what we do. - Yeah, that's easy. - Aim to her. - Yeah, before you had a helmet though. No, it was after a helmet, so. - All right guys, without further ado, let's get into the subject that has been long-awaited. - I'm so excited. - I'm so excited. - Okay, so I'm just trying to do this correctly. The subject we picked was, what was the pettiest thing? - Yeah, like the funniest reason. - The funniest, the pettiest reason why you broke up with somebody. - And some of you motherfuckers are assholes, dude. - I'm like really self-conscious after the subject. - Bro, I'm like-- - It's like the little thing. - Yeah, no, it's so bad. I'm like, oh my god, did I ever get broken? I'm looking over these things. - It makes me feel like, if someone goes to me, it's like, what did I do? - No, but then it made me feel like, God, I haven't put up with a lot of shit. - It's my relationship with you. - I'm like, oh my god, I could have left over. - Are you breathing the wrong way? Just 'cause he breathed through his mouth, somebody was like, he was a mouth breather. I was like, oh my god, I would've did my mouth sometimes though. - Remember-- - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I don't know. - I feel like guys will be giving the egg pretty often, though, to women. - Yeah, yes. - 'Cause I think I was sitting-- - Chasing after something. - I was sitting on the couch a certain way. And Brooke was like, you can never sit on the couch like that. - Reaper. - Oh, like when a dude crosses their legs. - I feel like, yeah. - There's a certain someone in this house that will smoke a cigarette and get the legs crossed, little dangly, and now that we've seen it, or like the bottoms of the feet like, I don't wanna see the bottoms of your feet. - Yeah, no. - Like, have you seen the dudes who like, stim with their toes? - Yes. - So are they sitting there? - Or like, so we also knew someone that used to put their feet behind and like, their feet, you know, their toes on the chairs. - I caught Seth. - I caught Seth holding on to the zero gravity chair out there with just his big toes. Like it was a cigarette. - That's great. - I'm gonna need you to not do that ever again. - No. - He was like a little, like, a little girl. - He was barefoot a lot. - Oh, he's barefoot. - He never has a shirt or shoes on, ever. - No, I like hit 30 and I started thinking about that kind of stuff. I'm like, I can't sit. So I realized I can't lay down on my stomach anymore and have my feet touching. - Why? Lay down on your stomach, like up in the air. - Yeah. - I'll like the little dangly. - Can't do that. - I can't, like, yeah, I can't swing my legs and have my stomach touching at the same time. - So your thing to do is getting in, like before you get into bed. - Okay, and you, who does? - What? - You do that. - I got to wipe my feet off. - You can't have crumbs on your feet and get into your bed. - That's why you walk around barefoot. - Wait, how? - Have shoes on and you'll never have a shirt. - If you didn't have shoes on and you feel like a mobility. - You might have a little, if there's no one spec. I'm not even joking, you guys. If it's like, I can feel it in the bed, I'm gonna freak out. - Or give me nothing. - I walk around barefoot. - I literally have fucking slippers on every day. And even in my own house, we have a clean house, dude. - So you're telling me, you walk around barefoot and then throw socks on? - No. - Absolutely no, you have to clean your feet. - No, no, no, no. - Okay, that's fun. So I'm just saying, how did the crumbs get there in the first place? - They had on the floor. - But I had shower than socks. - If I was a guy, kids. - Yeah, cash walks by with a fucking moon pie, came over. - Who gave them a moon pie? - Auntie. - The moon pie. - The ballad did a moon pie, wild. - Auntie doesn't say no. I had come to find that out this trip. - She knows, you can blow the bubbles in the house - All right, no. - No. - She goes. - Yeah, no, don't do that. - I was like, I may not get into it. - All right, let's get into it. Who wants to kick this off? - Oh wait, there's so many good ones. - I want to just go into it. - So many good ones. - This one says, "Shorty had nine toes, I needed 10. Anything else is a bonus." - That is fucking horrific. - Shorty had nine toes. Where did the other one go? - Yeah, I would like, I needed one for me. - That little piggy went to the market. - Did they go to? - They didn't come back from the market. - Damn, I feel bad for her poor baby. - I wonder if her balance was off, and which toe was it? - Oh, should we ask? - If you could lose a toe, which one can you use? - The pinky. - Yeah. - I don't know. I feel like one of the others needs me the one that goes, 'cause like, isn't the inside in the outside what keeps you grounded? - No, the outside. - Okay, it's less noticeable. - And like, looking at, like shoes right now, my pinky toes basically covered, you know? - I feel like the one next to the pinky could go. - Yeah, yeah, that could go. - There's not bad ones. - I want all of them big, yeah. - But if you had to lose one. - Yeah, it's the ring finger. - The ring finger toe. - I don't think I could do it. - Oh, fingers? - No. - The ring toe. - Ring toe fingers, what do I call this? - Yeah, 'cause then you could so ring toe together. - Yeah. - And it would squish them a little bit more. - Yeah. - But losing a tooth, you could shove them forward a little bit. - Yeah. - Or like, when people have the webbed, where it's like stuck, can you see that? - Yeah. - Would you have webbed toes? - Yeah, webbed toes, it's like. - Dude, Dylan says I have webbed toes, do I? - No. - I don't think so either. - No, for cream, blur that. - Yeah, blur my toes out. - Do I have webbed toes? - No, no, no. - Okay, that's what I thought. He's like, you have the cutest little feet, you have webbed toes. I'm like, no, I don't. - I don't know. - Dude, has he never seen a webbed toe before? - I don't know, I've never seen one. - Yeah, sure. - Ooh, you've never seen one? All right, let me read one of mine, frog. Attention, all new and existing members of the WDNC. I'm Melanie Sanders, and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to meet at life and realize we just simply do not care much anymore. Now we got to help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry Gucci, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bad wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the WDNC. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders, wherever you get your podcast. - See how they tattoo like a little cut off? - This Smoky bitch is funny, okay? But listen, she said, I lost interest in someone when he was funnyer than I am. We can't be having that. I'm used to be in the coolest funnyist person in their lives, ever. - Did I write that in? - I literally hate me. - Yeah, no, no, piss me off. - It don't piss me off. - You cannot be funnyer. - I also can't do it if they're not funny. - Yeah. - If you have no sense of humor and not funny at all and I'm funnyer than you, it's got to be a little competition. - They got to see you're funny. - Yeah. - Or they got to play off you're funny. - But I think I've realized, like I'm funny and the men are just there. So it's like, maybe they're not that funny is me. - Dude, Dylan and I fucking laugh so hard all day long. - And it's 'cause we're both funny. - The cello? - Bro, I almost pissed my pants at Disney. - The cello? - So I have a dog there. - I have a clip of it. You guys, did anyone else watch this video? - Yes. - Hold on. - Did you add it to the share? - I added it to the share, but this video right here, insert clip, insert this freaking clip because there is a moment in which I'm following behind them. And this dude, turns around. - Why does he do that? - I don't actually know about this. - It's not like that. - Oh, he does it again? (laughing) - Did he probably thought he was a character at the freaking park? - He's so, but if you guys knew what we were talking about, I have to give you context. (laughing) We're literally walking and we're listening to music. And he's like, what do you think would be like if we were in the rowing 20s? And I was like, well, first of all, we'd have to fucking take a dance class 'cause we both suck. We'd need to learn how to dance. And he's like, man, I'd be on there just playing the chill-o. (laughing) He's like, and you'd be on the carpet. (laughing) - It was. - What? - No, it was just, and the way he does it is like, he's so animated. - He's so animated with it. It's crazy. - He's like a cartoon character. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He is a cartoon character. - So I think when there's too funny people in the relationship, I mean, how can you go wrong? - Yeah, it's the same kind. It's like playing off of each other's funny. - Yeah. - It's so important. - I would want a funnier dude than me. - I would want some money. - I would want someone to pull the funnierness out of me. - This one can handle it. - Yeah. I don't know. I think your, your, that gives you a little run for your money 'cause you guys both have the same aesthetic. I think he's funnier than me. - I think you guys both have a, yeah. He's a male version of you. - He is. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - How do you feel about that? - And I think that's why you like him because you guys can go tip for tap, you know? - Yeah, we do. - Yeah. - All right, next. He's got another one. - Oh, I got a great one. - Oh. Mine are only gonna get better from here on out. - He sent me a live photo and it, he farted in it. (laughing) - I don't know. And it was a member of Hollywood and Dead. (laughing) - What? - I have to know which member dude. - For real. - I want to send this to one of the guys and be like, which one was it? - Which one was it, was it you? - Yeah. - Literally said loud and wet. - Ew. - In a live photo. That's why I can never take a live photo. - Just. - That's crazy. - How are you hot when you're pressing something out like that anyways? - Why are you taking a photo while you're farting, though? - Yeah. - But that's what I'm saying. - Do it and then take the photo. - Well, how can you be sexy and maug when you're farting? Like, I don't understand that. - I don't know. - I don't get it. - That's crazy. Hold on, he farted in the light. That's a quick fart. - That's a quick first girl. Quick fart. - Yeah, I think a lot. - I was like, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I would probably guess. - Yeah. - And I also learned that you can hear stuff in a live. - Yeah, since when could you hear the live? - Yeah, when can you? - We can in terms of volume. - There's a time and place. Oh, all you have to do is just like a meme. - Yeah, you can hear it. - Yeah, you've been farting in your life. - What do you mean in your life? - Oh, okay, okay. - I'm just gonna have a photo. - Yeah, that's not. - That's not. - But also, I've always thought this. - I feel like cameras always are watching and recording because how did you know the couple of seconds before I was gonna hit the button? - It's too deep for me to think about right now. - The button. - The button to take the photo. It records like the first three seconds. That means it's always recording 'cause how did you know when I was gonna- - I thought it was the after. - I thought it was at three seconds after you hit the button. That would make more sense. - No, it's before. 'Cause it has you like getting into place and then taking it. - No, it doesn't. - Yeah. I've always seen it like after like the camera, I've seen before. - Okay. - Yeah, so I think I don't know. - What do you got one? - I have one. - Let's go. - No, like myself. - Oh, yeah. I think I was like a high school maybe, but I went out with this girl and I think she's on a date. She first, definitely first date, she facetimed her friend like in the middle of the date. And then I was like, that's it. - Why? What would she say? - That was the thing. It was like an emergency, like oh, there's nothing going on. But no, they were just like, hey, how was your day? How was like English class or whatever? - Oh, so she didn't know how to read a room. - Yeah, no, I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. So, and then I think I drove her home right after that. - Yeah. - You said, well, 'cause it makes you feel, yeah, it makes you feel like they're not interested in what year you're at this age. - Yeah, and it was cool. I was like, I'm not gonna waste my time though. I'm an efficient guy. - Did she ever text you back? - I don't know. No, I don't think so. - Well, I think she just wasn't interested. And you guys both weren't interested. - I think that's what it was because she didn't know how to verbalize it. I don't think English was her first language though. - Oh. - Yeah. - All right. - Yeah. - That was interesting. - I don't know what she was from, but she wasn't from there. - Gotcha. - Mm, yeah. - I mean. - This winter reminded me of you. This was it because they fucking whistled too much. - Oh my God, my biggest fucking pet peeve, dude, is of Whistler. - Just fucking Whistlin' Dixie all through the house. - Like, come on, man. Like, knock at the fuck off. My autistic ears can't handle those high pitches. - I was gonna say, is there a certain type of pitch of Whistler that you can't handle versus none of them? - Yeah, I like a low hum. That's about it. - Okay. - I whistle, which is crazy because the asshole confess intro. It's literally me triggering my own shit. That's why when people are in the comments and they're like, "I fucking hate it, I'm like me too." - Yeah. - Like when other people are like, "I love it." - No, I hate Whistling. I don't like it. It's like a fucking recorder. You know those things? - It's like a kid, just like that. - Oh, my God. - I can play this shit out of one of those in third grade though. - Yeah, same. - Oh my gosh, you made me buy her too. - What colors? - I don't like that. - There's a nice blue one, and then there's a pink one. - Oh, the blue one, which is enough? - Yeah, it was like a rainbow-ish, like a corn-looking one. She really likes it. - Yeah, I think I rented mine. - Yeah, she was like, "Oh my God, Mom, guess what? I learned how to play it." I said, "That's Crosbun's?" I didn't ask to hear it. - How does that one go? Remind me. ♪ Crosbuns, hot crosbuns ♪ ♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun ♪ - I feel like I'm really missing out here. I don't know what a recorder is. - Mm-hmm. - The fuck? - A little flute thing? - It kinda looks like a fake clarinet. - Never. - So what's the blue and pink thing you're talking about? - That's Olivia's, but I think-- - It's like a color. - They're like a size of a ruler, you know? - A little bit bigger, yeah. - Really? - They're like plastic, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, my one spot. (laughing) - Is there a read? - You gotta read what? - I know. - She got a-- - Yeah. - Waising it up? - There's not a read. - No. - Who's mom was teaching me how to play the saxophone? Was it your mom? - Yeah. - Yeah. - She really taught me, and I blew, boom. - Like it was for you. - You did, you did. - As soon as she told me what to do, it was great. - She walked you through it. - Yeah. - No, it was awesome. All right, I got one ready. "This guy's, or this lady said, he's shat." (laughing) He shat with the door open in a mountain cabin. We were seeing each other for about two months, went away for the first time. I got really sick, but on the morning, I woke up and started making us coffee until I smelled something rancid. It was him taking a shat with a bathroom door wide open. His reason was he wanted to feel free. Whatever the reason, disgusting. I get it, yeah. I don't know, because I feel like two months in and you're shitting with the door open? No. Okay. Dude, I don't even pee with the door open. I'm so weird about that. I'm, I, listen, I don't think women should shit in front of their partners. And I get so much hate for this, whenever, every any time I say this, but I will never shit in front of my significant other. I think that's fair. No, no, I'm just saying it disagree. No, I was wondering if I should get that in front of him. That's different. That's a situation like. I just meant like I, it was all, but that wasn't like yet back in Mexico. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You were creating life. I had an ex that we had one out and we were lit. And middle of the night, I'm still like kind of awake, gets up and like runs to the bathroom like fuck. Bathroom's in my bedroom. I'm gonna hear it. And I literally hear just blowing it up. And I was like, yeah, I gotta go. And I literally went to my guest room and went to bed and found that I came down the next morning. My trash can is on my sink. And I was like, what's that? He was like, that's where I had to throw up in. I said, awesome. Both in, same time. Okay, but I feel like that's what he was saying. Yeah, he's sick. You're a bitch. That was crazy. I feel like if you've been with somebody for two or three months and they feel comfortable enough to shoot with you in the same room as them, like close the door first time. Yeah, I get that. But I talk about the lady here again. I'm talking about the, well, he was sick. So that dude deserves a pass 'cause if you shouldn't. Or drunk. Oh, gotcha. That's sick like that. He was sick. Oh, okay. Yeah, well, then control yourself. Yeah. But I think when you've been with somebody for two or three months and they're shooting in the same room with you with the door closed, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yeah, I think like that's nitpicking and being a little picky 'cause what happens if one day fucking you have to shoot? And that's what I'm literally on. It's showing a hotel room or something. And sharing a hotel room, what are you gonna do? Got a lobby? Yeah. Yeah. Yo. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, even when whenever we have to like share like a shower room, I literally won't hit that bathroom. I will hit the lobby bathroom. You don't use the shower room? No. I will use it to shower, but if I got to go number two, I will hit the lobby. I got it. Yeah. You got to take a canoe. Yeah, I think every, yeah, it's like a tropical fart. Yeah. Oh God. It's easy to talk about it. Tropical fart. You didn't hear this whole conversation yesterday? Tropical fart is the keyword. I will not. I will not move in front of anybody. Jay, with him 10 years, never saw me shit. Okay. Farted one time in front of him by accident, which we talked about. Huh? It's on dress. No, she took him to poop. She didn't poop in front of him. Yeah. That's when I shipped him out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, so do you want it down to go get the coffees? And I went into the bathroom thinking I just had to pee and then all of a sudden a loaf, a loaf of pee. I get it sometimes. I know. And I just had to get it out real quick. Well, it didn't smell, but I wanted to make sure. So we have poopery in there, so I spray it, right? He's down over like 10 minutes, right? Comes back. Fucking ate him. Comes back up and he goes, "Did you pick up?" Stop right now, wait, you said it. He goes, "Did you make a poopy?" A poopy's crazy. I'm like, "No, I didn't." He said, "You made a poopy." He goes, "It smells like tropical fart." He said, "It smells like strawberry fart." And I was just like, "Bro, go away." He said, "Can't you a cupcake?" "Baby's first poop." And this whole time, I've been denying it. I'm like, "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It didn't happen." I'm like, "Girls don't poop." Yeah. Hey, him. Can't stand him. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's what I've been having to deal with. Let's look at what's like a good hack to not have the, like, a bathroom stink after you blow it up. Pupery? Nope. No, let's say you don't have that. Let him match. Let it be a real man. Let him match. In the toilet before you go. That's like poopery. It's like poop. If you don't have poopery. Never thought about that. But I saw I just have some fucking lion next year. Is that glow glow in a YouTube video, maybe? I don't know. Put it in the toilet. So then when you flush, it mixes with soap so it kind of helps, and as soon as it hits the water, flush. Flush. Don't let it linger. Don't break the seal. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they call that a courtesy flush. Yeah. I'd be hitting those, like, crazy. Yep. Not me. I like to let it linger. I want to waft in my own sense. Yeah. And she said, if you'd love me, I'll sniff it. That's what I heard. Yeah. That part. That's crazy. Yeah. That was crazy. What? Listen, nobody wants to give their money away to ridiculous bank fees. It's your money. You shouldn't have to pay somebody just to keep it in an account. That's why I like what time is doing. 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Go to Shopify.com/bunny today to hear your first. What? Was it a dead body? No, I think they were just swimming. That could have been taken so many different ways. That's crazy. I literally just picked up a mat and I had a tread water. No, no, I had a tread water. But also, I've seen the videos, and it'll be like a mediaic and they go under the water, and it's like the feet kicking. Oh, dude, dude, dude, little feet. Oh, yeah. Any of you still plug your nose when you jump in the water, though? No, I don't know. I grow up. I grew up. Yeah, good. Yeah, that's automatic. You can breathe out. That's a roast. I mean, it is. If the water is really dirty, it's like a dirty water and rivers or something dirty. I guess, yeah. I don't know. No, I just don't know what I can't see the bottom of my feet in. Yeah, the ocean is scary. This is scary place. Yeah, I did. Cashroom was got taken out yesterday. He didn't know what a wave could take you, so it just started taking him. I was like, "I'll let you get him." She's like, "In the water, she's just watching, we can take him away." Dude, get your brother. She's like, "I'll be waiting for this moment." She's like, "I don't know if they're going into this world." She's waving to him. Yeah. That's literally her. I'm like fully dressed on the beach and she's just standing there watching him get taken out by the wave. That's crazy. That's so funny. That's so Olivia. I'm glad, I mean. I came over and I came over and he had a twin-sized bed. No. Wait. I had one for a minute. I'm not going to lie. Well, that's what it's a room. It's a room. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can't imagine putting a queen size in your bedroom. Bro, I had went and visited a dude who was on probation on house arrest at his grandma's house who only had a fucking twin bed with the fucking shit still on it. You know how the old people keep the crackle thing on it? The plastic? The plastic? Yeah, and we slept on it. We would wake up and just sweat. on this fucking crackling every time you move. I feel like if you really want to fucking, what if he was a great dude with a twin bed? - You know what, buy him a queen. - Yeah, bitch, buy him a queen. If it bothers you that bad, mattresses are fucking cheating by the time it's on. - Bite it up against it. - Yeah, like two, two twins. - I think judging somebody for them not being able to afford something is a little fucked up. - Exactly. - But I mean-- - But I like to swing low and I have low expectations. So nobody listened to me, all right? - You know, when you were describing him, I said, "Yeah." I mean, it was like, we're basically still around. Oh, that guy, no, you don't want him. - No, I had a twin bed for a while. - You had a twin bed for, do you bring girls home to it? How did that work out to you? It's just sleep really close? - Yeah, yeah, I think it was like, it was college days for sure. Definitely not a dorm, but like student apartments, you know. - Did you live with great questions? - Let's go. - Did you live with a bunch of dudes like-- - Yeah, two dudes, but I never met him before. It was my first time living in Tennessee. - Yeah. - Wait, so how'd you meet him Craigslist? - No, I just met him that day. It was like a, like when you applied and lived there, they pair you with people. - Oh, it was like my college, don't I? - Yeah, I didn't know. - Yeah, I didn't know that that was even a thing. So how did you bring people back into those situations? - So you shared the living room and the kitchen. - Damn, I didn't know that. - And everyone had their own room and bathroom. So it was very easy to just crawl. - Yeah. - Oh, it was awesome. - So you guys had your own room and bathroom? - Yeah, your own room and bathroom. - Elegent, I had to share. - Oh, share a bathroom? - Bathroom and room. - Oh, I'd fight, I'd share a bathroom. - Like our beds were like this. But like also I would just be like, yo. - Were you in a dorm? - Yeah. - So yeah, it's different than dorms, student. Student housing's a little better than dorms. - Yeah, I was in a dorm. - dorms a little, and you could bring people back to your dorm? - I would. - Yeah. - Oh, that's for sure. - For sure. - I bring them the dick for me. - I bring them back even if they were like a sleep. - Dog, I've been to a couple of dorms. They're pretty lit. - Wait, so you fucked him while she was in the room asleep? - I think so, yeah. - Quiet. - But I think she also did the same. Kinda didn't care. - Yeah, I think once you live with somebody and you're just trying to have to stuck together, you just have to figure it out. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh god, okay. - Okay, 'cause I get it. - This person said, he tasted like sour milk when I kissed him. That's halitosis baby. He must have been an alcoholic. - I don't like it. - Foo. - Sour stomach, that's your good. - If someone microbiome. - If someone leaves a linger on you, immediately dumping them. - A linger. - Yeah, like a linger in smell on you? - A tinge. - They left a tinge on you, dumping them. - Have another tinge one. - Go ahead. - They smelled like SpaghettiOs and had the personality of a chip of lead paint. - A chip of lead paint. - I don't say SpaghettiOs, I don't like that. - We have some in the pantry, guys. - I like SpaghettiOs. - I know. - The ones with the meatballs are without the meatballs. - Oh, I love the meatballs. - The meatballs are fire. - I'll fucking eat them. - Not just at first. - You're picking out the meatballs. - Yeah, same first, yeah. - I purposely, when I was younger, would take more out of the thing. And then my brother would have like two. - I love the meatballs. - I like tinge. - They're fire. - Yeah. - Get it. - All right. - It's a midwest. - The personality of a wet chip paint or whatever's they said. - Yeah, I hate you. - Not a chip of lead. - What color? - A toxic. - A toxic. - Oh, god. - I thought I had been boring. - No. - Me too. - All right, this one says. I actually know this person. I had to DM them afterwards and ask him about it. He said, it was the way that they kissed. Tongue moving in hyperspeed. He said he would just jetted into his mouth. - Yeah, like a fucking lizard, right? - That's good. - Like a lizard? - I couldn't do that. - Jamming into his mouth. He's like just a rocket tongue. - Oh god. - When he kissed ladies, you got to be sensual about it. Be sweet. - Yeah, I thought I'd be jamming tongues into their mouths. - Yeah, none of that. - Well, that, she obviously didn't practice on her wall. Like we talked about. - We talked about this. - Oh, it was a girl. I thought it was a dude. - No, the dude messaged me. - No, it was a girl. - You know him too. And he said that this girl would just like. - This girl said his toenails. Fucking nasty men out here with witchy ass toenails. - I know exactly what she means by witchy. It's like the curved ones. - I know. - I know. I already know. - I already know. - Dude's feet. - I kind of just don't want to see him. - Like just always wear socks, keep the socks. Keep the socks on. - I see a gene sandal combo, dude. I am so mad. - Speaking of sandals, this person said he wore flip flops on a rope swing. And the flip flops made him stumble. - On a rope swing. - What the hell? - What the hell? - Shripping on your flip flops. - Oh my god. - And David Broket, what is happening? - Flip flops on a rope swing. - But I can wear the red fern grows. Like what is happening, dude? - Seth, he just wraps his big toes around the rope swing. Could you imagine? - In the sandal. - No. - It just bend into the back. - No. - That's crazy. - I got chills, I mean, like that one. - I just got so cold in here. - Yeah, I did it. - I felt that too. - I felt that too. - Yeah, look, this one. - Yeah, I got chills. - No, no, no. - I'm just trying to spare a box on. - Ooh. - 'Cause it literally got so cold. - Oh, I did. - You can see, look, I have goosebumps right now. - All of us at one time. - Yes, look at that. - Stop. - See my goosebumps. - I've had more hair. - That's weird. - That's crazy. You don't have hair. - I don't even think you have the follicle to grow the hair. - Yeah, put the spare box on because something just happened. - Yeah, that's cool. - Let me see. - That's crazy. - That was crazy right now. - Oh, this lady said, no earlobes. - No. - I have questions. - Did they get it? - No, they didn't. - Did they get their ears cropped? What is happening? - Cropped? - Yeah, like what is, how do you just miss earlobes? - I mean, okay, but I have seen it. - So is it, if they have those big things in it and then have them go? - No, I've just seen it where like the, the lobe doesn't come down. It just goes like the bend, it goes straight to, it's like a perfect seat. - It's like the ear took a short cut. - Yeah. - It just went straight to the head instead of taking a picture of it. - It's like little pixie ears. - No. - Just on the bottom, it just sees out. There's no little, boom. - Yeah. - There's a lot less surface area. - Have you ever seen someone with like, incredibly small ears? - Yeah. - And incredibly big ears. - You know, ears are a thing. - Your ears never stop growing. - I'm so excited for that. - I have to sneeze, hold on. - A shoe. - Nope, I mean, bless you. - No. (laughs) - Did the thing, did the thing, did the thing, did the thing. - She's that hot shoe. - You did the sneeze as you blowed yourself. (laughs) - That was like when you answered yourself in the car. (laughs) - I said suck your dick note, ew. - What happened? - I will literally answer myself. - She asked her to crush someone else and then answered it herself. She's like, try suck your dick note, ew. (laughs) - What was this? - When we were truck coming out of the bar the other night. - Oh lord. - Oh my friend Anthony, he's so funny. He's like a comedian on Facebook or on Instagram or a fucking social media, one of those platforms. Anyways, he said one rogue hair around her butthole holding onto a large piece of toilet paper for dear life. - No. - No. - No. - I bet you she washed her hair and the hair got stuck in her butt crack, maybe. - Wait, say it again, the hair was attached to what? - A rogue piece of toilet paper. - Oh, this is the dingle berry, just fucking suck. - Yeah. - You just flick it off? - Of course, that's not a sign of bad hygiene. That's just a bad timing. (laughs) - That timing, that's so funny. - Yeah. - That timing is crazy. - That timing is cruel. - That's what it is. - That timing. - You guys are gonna have two words. The first one was console. Either console table, paper? (laughs) What'd I say? What'd they say? - She stuttered. - And I gotta stop. - Yeah. - She makes for the whole podcast. - Stop. - Just end it right now. - All right, one last one. - Oh wait, here's the Hollywood undead one. I still wanna know which one I was. - I did do. - He came too fast, and then he went into the bathroom, and I could tell he was crying in there. And he tried to hold back tears when he came back to me. No, I didn't finish, but I laughed hard now. I need a man, not a little boy. - That's not fair. - Oh my God. - Let me check for the baby for him. - Bro, imagine being so hot, and then you make a guy come that fast, and then you're like, you suck. - That's cute. - That's crazy. - Yeah, but like, did he make her, like, - She didn't come, she said she didn't finish. - Yeah, but like, - Which I, which I get. - Yeah, like, yeah, like, let it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, totally fucking like, make him feel like the man, whatever, and then fuck again. - Go around too, yeah. - Yeah, too. Like, you just accept the fact you were hot, and he busted. - Yeah. - A little sugar-free gatorade. - That way he could have just been so horny from the sexual tension. - What, what? - Is that the round two starter pack? - A yellow sugar-free gatorade. I'll go crack it, and then-- - But it's not sugar-free. - Yeah. - I don't do, I don't do that. - I don't know. - I mean, that's just a you thing. - It's me thing, yeah. - Oh, this is like universal. - No, just for me. I like the hydration from the yellow one. - It's me too, I prefer it. - Okay, that's my favorite. - I get it. - It's a little like pine-solid, but I love it. - No, it's not. - It's a little cleaner-ish. Then it tastes like cleaner, do you? - Mm, I love the yellow ones. - The yellow ones? - Doesn't taste like cleaner? - What's your favorite? - You also didn't think that you'd like to taste it, but I can eat it. - The blue? - Yeah, like blue. - I guess it's good. - I'd call it by its government name. - Yeah. - What? - Glacier-freeze? - Yeah, government name. - You have to call it by its color. - Yeah. - Someone here? - Sorry. - I don't know. - Full cover. - Full cover? - I'm surprised. - Kennedy. You said it's someone here, and it's like Kennedy. - All right, Kennedy, we love you. - Kennedy. - Like, JF. - All right, guys, thank you guys so much for submitting in all of your little petty reasons for breaking up with people. We will come up with a new topic for next week, and I cannot wait to see what you guys submit. And if you guys want to submit, go to all of our Instagrams. And once we put the subject up, ask talk of fest, DMs, or if you have just a story and you want us to create an episode out of it, just send us your story. All right, love you guys, talk to you later, see you next week, bye.