Armchair Anonymous: Summer Fling

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Armchair Anonymous. Today we're going to hear juicy stories of summer flings. Oh, one of these was so precious. Wow. Jack's really loses it. He loses his entire. What do we call that? Like tear reserve. Water reserves. Sure. Sure. It was really sweet. Well, it would be hydrated. One was so sweet. They're very fun and sweet. And yeah, they're all wonderful. They're so fun. Yeah. Very uplifting. Yeah. Makes you nostalgic for a summer fling. We also have new prompts. Please call us. Oh, I was going to throw this out there too. If you know somebody with an incredible story, that might not even listen to the show, but they like to own stories. And you can think of it. Wrangle them in to submit to pass this along. So new prompts tell us a crazy dinner party story. Nurses tell us your craziest nurse stories. Tell us a crazy study abroad story. Tell us about a time you made the news. Dinner party, nurse stories, study abroad and making the news. Please enjoy summer flings. Hi guys. Hi. What fake name shall we use? Can you please pick? Yeah, let me stare at your face for a minute. I have one, but I want to hear yours. Okay. Well, first of all, you have a very inviting face. Well, thank you. Yeah, yeah. It's very pleasing. It's very symmetrical. The golden rules popping. God, we love that. Yeah, we can only look with envy at the golden rule. Well, I don't know money. You're not not symmetrical. I'm very asymmetrical, different shape nostril. No, my nose is fucking bent. I got different shape nostrils. I got a septoplasty this year because I had a crooked nose. So that helps, but now my nostrils are really crooked. Yeah, minor terrible. So what's a septoplasty? Correct. A deviated septum from cocaine news. Yeah, all of that. My auntie surgeon did me a favor and filled in a divot. So shut up to him. Yeah, because you know, deviated septum surgery is like sometimes in quote. It's like just to get a nose job. Well, no, we both said Monica and I were on hot ones and we were claiming that the hot burnt our nose so bad that we had to get it repaired. And then he gave us a stupid nose job. No, I have the stupid cute button. No, okay, I haven't gotten closer. I want to hear yours. Can I? Boom. And I think we know why. Yeah. Robin right pan. That's right. Oh, okay. I don't know. She still go by pan. Oh, why not? Okay. Robin right. Okay. So Robin, where are you? I'm in Denver, Colorado. Ding ding ding. Rob was just telling me one second ago that he went to Red Rock this summer with his little boy for the first time. Oh, who'd you see? The head in the heart. Oh, that's a good show. I read rocks. Do you go? I haven't been this summer. But yeah, I used to see Brandy Carlisle every single summer there the weekend after Labor Day, Ava Brothers. Oh, my God. All our friends. Oh, hey, I almost said so avius. I'm going to say envious. Yeah, it's fun. Oh, amazing. Okay. So you have a summer fling story. Okay. So it's 2007. And I have just graduated from college and I am taking my father to Peru. He's a teacher. And so he got a summer's off. And so we're going to go to Peru. I take myself backpacking Europe 2003 when I graduated high school. So the same one to bring my dad. Oh, that pause. What a lucky dad. If one of my little girls asked me to go to Peru and they graduate college, I'm going to fucking explode. I'm glad you said that because when I was thinking about the story, I was like, why didn't I bring girlfriends? Was I that lame? But he's such a special man. Oh, that's lovely. But just wait until you hear it. He cannot hear the story. Oh, he never hears the story. Oh, background is I graduated from a conservative Christian college outside of Chicago. I bet Rob could name it just in the Western burbs. This is a college that is steeped in purity culture. And I was raised in purity culture and sex and dating is not anything my father and I talk about. I go to Peru a week earlier than my dad because he's finishing up his school year. I've got some time. I'm not going to waste any time. I get down there. I visit a friend in Lima. I do some dune bugging in Wacacina where the sand dunes are. And then I end up in Juarez, which is a town in the Courtaire Blanca. And it's there that I meet Neil. We'll call him Neil. This man from Scotland who was also traveling solo. And a lot of people are traveling in groups. So we sort of find each other because we're the only solo travelers and just hit it off. And we start doing day trips together. And it's not romantic. It's just comfortable. And we have a lot to talk about. And then when it's time for my dad to come to Peru, Neil just sort of joins the trip. My dad rolls at that. Also for the record, I'm like a recovered purity culture person already at that point or this started the recovery. I was a closeted sexual being at the morning. Okay. So our first trip with my dad is going down into the Colca Canyon and camping. And it's during that time that I notice my sleeping bag is sort of shimmying towards meals. And I don't mind. And it's just really comfortable and a great way to spend a cold night. And I am aware of the fact that it's like sort of weird that my father's just on the other side and probably clueless in the same town. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Great. But that adds a little danger. Everything's really chased in innocent though. And then we proceed. We make our way back up the Colca Canyon. And then we end up in Ari Kipa, which is one of the towns there. So then we eat their delicacy there. Improved just ki, which is guinea pig. Is it delicious? No. Too bony. Oh, bony. Too much work. Yeah. And my dad every night, he's going to bed early. So that night, my dad goes to bed. We're always sharing a hostel room. So at this hostel, Neil and I go upstairs and we're just on the hostel roof enjoying the city skylight. And I get a kiss on the forehead. So I was like, oh, okay, I didn't mind that. We're out of the friend zone. Of course, right after my father arrives. But again, still really innocent, cute, harmless. I didn't date in college. It was mostly drunk in one night stands. I was also a closeted alcoholic, but didn't realize that at the time. Oh, wonderful. A lot of times I think those go together. For sure. I'm now a friend of bills and eight years. Oh, congratulations. Thanks. The next day, our next adventure is to go to Copacabana in Bolivia, unlike Tadykaka. My dad, however, says he wants to take the later bus train thing. He's going to arrive half a day later because he wants to buy a nativity set for my mom. So he says go ahead. So Neil and I are on our own to go to Bolivia. So we take trains and buses and we're snuggling. And it's so cute. And it's so wholesome when we get to Copacabana, the thing to do there is you get a row boat or a paddle boat and you go out on Lake Tadykaka and you just enjoy the surrounding area. We grab a bottle of wine though. I go out in the boat. We get tipsy. Finally, someone says something that's like, why haven't you kissed me yet or something, something and then it's on in a boat in the middle of the day on Lake Tadykaka. Oh, and then we realize, well, there's only so much you can do want about. So we decide to head back to shore, go to the hostel that we have dropped our stuff at that my father's meeting us at later. And we make excellent use of it and waste no time. And I don't know. I think I set a record that day. Now that I'm in my forties, I look back at that longingly. As far as many of times coitus. Many times. So many times coitus. Well, the clock's ticking. Dad's coming. Sometimes later we meet up with him. And we go out and about. I think we're looking for dinner. And he leans over to me and he's like, Robin, did you guys smoke marijuana in there? It smells real funky. Oh, my God, your father asked to do smoke marijuana. He was always really concerned about me and using substances. I was like, no, I'll have to go smell it and we get back. I didn't notice anything. Also, my dad doesn't know what marijuana smells like. So then we go to dinner. My dad again turns in early. Neil and I have a drink. We realize soon after we don't want to be drinking. So we do it at me. Classy young backpackers do and we go find some sort of hourly motel. I don't really know what we found or what he found. I know we woke some in Keeper up in the middle of the night. And again, we make excellent use of this room. Then we go back. We creep into the hostel that I'm sharing with my dad. He doesn't even wake up. The next day, we part ways. Neil has his other adventures through South America. My father and I are going on to the jungle. And then we're going to go hike the Inca Trail to Montu Picchu. To make it to the jungle, it's called a quitos. And you can only get there by boat or plane. It's really out there. It's really cool. A couple days in, I start to feel unwell. And I've got fevers, aches, chills. My dad looks at his guidebook and he's like, dangay fever. You have dangay fever. So we go to a clinic. They give me fluids. So like, there's not much we can do for you. There's no tests at this point. Just manage your symptoms. Tell an old adveau. I'm 22. I rally. The symptoms are intermittent. After a quitos, we go on to Cusco, which is where you're going to start. Thank a trail. And it's there that I realize I really have to peel it, but I can't pee. I'm like, Oh, this is a UTI. I don't know to use a bathroom in between things. So I do what any sensible 22 year old does before I go on a three day trek through the Andes. And I do nothing. Oh, no. So it's like a three day trip. I feel fine most of the time. I'm impressed with myself. And then the last night there, I start to feel pretty ill. And I know I'm ill because everyone's drinking and partying before you do the sunset hike to see Machu Picchu. And I'm more pissed that I can't drink than the fact that I might be sick and have to crawl into the sleeping bag. And then the next morning, I rally again. I feel great. We're going to go see Machu Picchu. We do the sunset hike. Then we hike down into it, walk around. I'm feeling really tired, though. And that's just kind of annoying. Then once you're done there, you take a train from the site down back into Kusko. And again, there's more celebrating and drinking and partying. And I cannot. I can do as I crawl up on my dad. I've got intermittent and fevers, my algeas, that's like aches and pains. And then we get to Kusko, I feel okay, probably just crawl into bed and go to bed. Next day, we have a really early morning flight. So I'm huddled under this blanket at the airport before our flight. It's really early in the morning. And now I'm just like, okay, I'm just exhausted. That was a big or hike, then I realize, woof. And then we get on the flight. It's a short flight from Kusko to Lima. As soon as we take off and are in the air, I start shaking uncontrollably. It's like teeth chattering, I feel really cold. But I'm super hot. They call for a doctor on board 'cause my dad's legs over a flight attendant. In my memory, he looks like Gabrielle Garcia-Marquez and he hands me a small pill. And I'm sure it's just Tylenol. They talk about maybe turning the plane around to go back to Kusko, but because it's a short flight, they're gonna go on to Lima. When we get to Lima, we land. And there's an ambulance waiting for me on the tarmac. Wow. And they take me to the hospital, run some tests, give me some fluids. I'm medical now, so I'm sure they gave me some antibiotics. Prophylactically, and then they come back and they say, you have a massive kidney infection. Yes, spread to the kidneys. I don't say a word 'cause I am pretty sure at this point, but we roll with the dengue fever, we roll with maybe the weird food I ate. So that was the exciting part of the ambulance. And basically, the end of the story, except that when we go back home to Minnesota, my parents take me to an infectious disease doctor 'cause they have got to figure out why they're 22 year old, otherwise healthy. Daughter acquired a massive kidney infection and I did not ever, throughout that whole thing, have the heart to tell them it was like, 'cause I was fucking the brains out of this. Yeah. The Scottsman. The best reason, the only good reason. What I'd be wrong to assume, if you're doing a ton of hiking and you're at hostels and showering's not regular and washing your clothes, I mean, you could get a UTI without the sex part, right? 100% yeah. I might have floated that like, man, I guess we should've washed our clothes more. I don't know, I would have dumped it on that. Totally, I mean, I've had many a UTI. Don't brag. I know. That's why I try to keep that to myself, this is a big brag. And it's not from wiping. Okay, I didn't say that. You said it with your eyes. No. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I meant more to the people who think it's from wiping. I wipe always front to back. Sure, as you should. Anyway, also once you start getting UTIs, you are prone to UTIs and then you can get them so easily. So yes, you could have been like, guess I got a UTI. Yeah. I wiped once back the phone. The Christian way through hard work and exercise. I didn't even want to go there. Yeah, that's fair. Oh, wow. Do you stay in touch with Neil? I think I emailed him the story and he wrote back LOL. Oh, I mean, I'm sure it's hard to call LOL, but no, we didn't stay in touch. It was a true summer flame. There was just nowhere else to go with that. Okay, Rob, and that was delightful. Thank you so much. It's such a treat to be sitting here with you guys. Yeah. And his dad's still with us? Dad is still with us. Oh, good. But we keep him in his innocence. So he's more innocent than ignorant and he's a good man. He now teaches yoga and has broadened his perspective. So understands that people do things differently than just one way. Love that. Oh, lovely. Can I do two quick shout-out? Yeah, yeah. Okay. My daughters love you. They can't be here. And I'll use their code names as well, but Sissy and Momo. And then I want to give a shout-out to my partner who celebrates 19 years of sobriety today. Do one. Big congratulations. Big shout-out to Hot Rob. Okay. Hot Rob. Okay. Not Hot Rob. Hot Rob and Robin. I know. That's why when you said that, I was like, oh my goodness. Good job. Oh my goodness. Yeah. All right. Lovely meeting you. So nice to meet you too. Thanks guys. Take care. Hi. Hello. Is it nighttime? Hi. Yeah. It is sort of. I had to make a fort because I didn't have a fit. Okay. In your name's Hannah, right? Yeah. It is. It's so nice to meet you guys. Thank you so much for calling me. Where are you, Hannah? Right now I'm in Berlin for the summer in Germany. Amazing. Is it as good as everyone always says? Oh my gosh. Better, I think. Yeah. Really. Indescribable. Yes. This is like my third time coming back in the past two years. Part of the story takes place here. Oh. Ding ding ding. And do you hop over to Prague at all? Because that's quite close. Yes. I've been one time. I found it to be so storybooky, you know, it felt like it was just walking through history. I've found there Copenhagen and Amsterdam to kind of have that feeling. Nothing like the U.S. can provide since it's such a younger country. Yeah. We were looking at a church in Prague and I said to the girls, but church is 700 years old. That's three times the age of our country. That's why I like it. Look at it. How could that be? Look at it. Okay. Yes. I do. So the summer playing story took place last summer when I was traveling Europe with my best friend after graduating college. Oh. What a time. What a time. Yes. It was coming up on the end in late August and we were going to end where we started in Paris for a few days after spending the month in Berlin. So it was a three month long trip as long as you can spend with the Schengen visa or without having to get a visa. So the last month of the trip was in Berlin. We had been using the Euro rail pass to go all around. Oh. Incredible. Yeah. But we were flying back out of Paris and for some backstory, while I had been in Berlin in early July, my long distance partner from college and I had just broken up over the phone. It was a bad, messy situation shift, just like on and off seeing each other for a year, found myself single and horny and available for the first time into the sexiest cities in the world. Oh. Yeah. Great way to spend the last month of my travels. So after putting up in Berlin, my best friend and I were on the train to Paris for the weekend to cap our almost three month trip. I had been using Hinge since my ex and I broke up in order to meet as many young and hot people as possible. Oh, yeah. And so on the train, I was a little bored. So I went to switch my location from Berlin to Paris. And I noticed that someone I had matched with was physically in Berlin, but lived in Paris. And I thought this man, I want to call him Jack, was a dime. So we weren't going to be in the same place. I started a chat with him anyway and we really hit it off. There was Woody Banner, spicy and exciting back and forth. It was a very entertaining train ride and it turned out we were just missing each other both ways, unfortunately, like trains passing in the night. He was going to be arriving in Berlin for a festival that weekend, the day I left and was returning to France the day that I was supposed to fly back to the States. But luckily, I had had a gut feeling a while back that I should maybe invest in a flexible plane ticket home. I like to think it was because I'm truly connected to my French boyfriend and not because me and my best friend had missed our flight out of JFK in June. I ended up pushing my flight back a week and Jack was going to come to Paris for his summer holiday instead of going to the south of France to see his family. So we both kind of changed what we were doing so drastically because we felt as though we had to see it through and have a romantic week together once he gets back after the weekend. And is he French? Yes. Last weekend with my best friend in Paris and we went to a well-known techno club. Whenever we go to the club, we call the friends we make collecting Pokemon because you kind of make these raw and open-hearted connections, have an amazing night together, form a misfit group, release them back into the world after, but then always have the lessons that they taught you in your back pocket. So we met these two really amazing guys and I really hit it off with one of them. We'll call him Henry. We danced all night together and then as a group, we went to an after's club. I made up with Henry and we talked a lot, but I didn't go home with him because I was excited and anticipation of seeing Jack the reason that I had decided to stay in the first place. So Jack was getting back from the festival Monday. I said goodbye to my best friend and grieved her for the day while I waited to meet Jack at the train station, had my giant hiking backpack and all my stuff to go move in with him for 10 days. Oh, you guys are going to go straight to sleep in the same place. Wow. Yeah. We were going to stay with him in this apartment we had never physically met before. Oh my God. The train banter was very successful. I'd also been bouncing around for three months, so I think I was primed and ready after going hostile to hostile to spend some time in someone's apartment and just people in general. So yeah, I'm at the train station, nervous and excited at the same time and I finally see him for a second, you have to get to know each other's physical body exactly just texting. Yeah. So we got for a moment and then he grabs my hand and we go to his beautiful apartment in the center of Paris. Oh my God. We immediately get right into doing all the things we said we were going to over text. Afterwards, I was thinking, oh, this is perfect. Exactly who and what I thought and was hoping this experience would be. In the next morning, he goes downstairs to this Asian restaurant next door to get take out. And I'm like, yes, that sounds great. I don't feel like cooking after moving all my stuff and then having crazy monkey sex all evening. Even though we had talked about how fun it would be to cook together, we eat and start watching this reality cooking show that he threw on. We had talked about the parks and rivers nearby his apartment, the Botanical Garden and going to have picnics and eating amazing cheese and wine and reading together. Just like all the things that I like to do, but would be so romantic to do with someone who could show me around in the city, so looking forward to it. The conversation was there, the sexual energy was there, but over the first two days, I kept gently asking, like, hey, do you want to go for a walk? Do you want to go get some stuff to make dinner? Do you want to go to work? And getting him to do any of the things he had advertised to me and said that he also liked to do is kind of like pulling teeth. But every time he would say, like, it's too hot, I don't feel like it, no, but you can go if you want. It was just, like, very off-putting and a little bit depressing, not what I was expecting. So the libido starts to drop, the conversation gets a little less exciting, and he just wants to lay in front of the fan and watch the Sam Cooking Show. Oh, wait, how many days left when this is starting to happen? I was starting to get a little bit-- They call it the "ick now," right? Yeah, yeah, on, like, day two. Oh, too early. It was just becoming a little bit triggering because I've had an ex-partner that struggled with depression and masking their personality. So I was recognizing the signs a little bit. And it's so difficult for everyone involved to be this intimate with someone who's struggling with mental health. But I'm not invested in this guy. I wish him to rest, and we were getting along. But at this point, I would rather stay in a hostel and literally be alone than feel obligated to stay with him and just feel alone. Yes. The third night, I went out to a bar with my other friends, and he didn't want to come, of course. So then I ended up meeting a third party who's separate to the other two guys in the story and sleeping with him in the park. Oh, wow. In the park? Wow. Oh, wow. I had been out all night. I slept at his hostel. And then I rolled back up to Jack's apartment in the morning. No questions or cares. And I provided that I wasn't enjoying my time and not only that, but I felt as though I knew he was struggling somehow and if I were to stay, that I would feel like I was using him for a spot, I can accommodate myself. I don't need to be somewhere that I'm not feeling happy. So I showered and got my stuff together and sat him down to have a genuine conversation. It was pretty straight up asking, are you okay? Are you struggling with depression? You aren't excited or even neutral about doing anything with me. He ended up opening up and saying, yes. And he had been excited about the idea but that he was struggling and he was sorry. Can I ask one quick question? So he just came from a Berlin festival. - Yes. - Okay, so he probably went fucking hard. The dude was probably rolling on Molly for three days straight and you're dealing with the very predictable depression that follows three days later from the dopamine deficit. - That could have totally played a role. - He probably had zero dopamine. - Yeah. That totally relates to what he responded. I think it was cute with the language barrier. He was like, you were like a light in a jar to high on a shelf for me to reach. - Oh wow, that's so romantic. - Yeah, it's kind of beautiful. - It's depressing. - Yeah, she's just, we together decided that I would leave and we would still be friends and we are still friends to this day. And sometimes we have a cheeky sex. - Oh my God. - Is he happier now? - He is happier now. He told me that he generally struggles with depression. So I immediately went to go put my stuff down in a hostel and just like re-centered real quick. And then very quickly remembered Henry, the guy that I had met at the Techno Club a few days ago. And I texted him and asked if he wanted to go on a date. So I met up with him in the park that same evening. - The park is your spot. (laughing) - The park is everyone's spot like in Berlin and Paris. And we did have wine and cheese and he just headed my lap and we talked about his job in the French military and childhoods and interests and dreams and it felt like we were walking into space with conversation. It was very romantic. He said I could come back to his place and that he had drove. And when we were going to his car, we pulled up to his motorcycle and I was entranced by this. (laughing) We rode to the south of Paris. It was my first time on a motorcycle. - You're in a movie now. - Shuffle law. - Yeah. I didn't know we were going on a motorcycle. So I had a mini dress on. It was like blowing up in the wind. - Wow. - It felt so right and free and it felt so safe with him and like very proud of myself for not staying in turmoil with Jack out of any obligation. I just felt like I used my past experience to propel for it and learn from it. So I was able to spend the next week living with Henry. He brought me back to my hostel the next morning to get my stuff and brought it to his house. And we truly had the summer fling, like falling in love, experience despite the expiration date. He was on his break in between getting a promotion in the military and I was going back to the state. So it was kind of a great sweet spot for both of us. We had some of the best and most athletic sex of my life cooked together. We went for runs in the park. - All the things you were promised, you did end up getting. - When we departed, it was very sweet. But I feel like you truly raised the bar for my physical and emotional relationships. I keep throwing myself fully into the summer flings because it's corny, but it is also like collecting Pokemon like you. - Love it. - But they teach you and your back pocket for a few. - That's great. - I say go as hard as you can until you shut it down. - I just do what you want to do. - When you get married and you have kids, you want to be a lame bed and going, oh yeah, I did it all. - Yeah, I'm working on it. - What an exciting summer. Thanks for telling us that Hannah. - Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me. I'm such a fan of the expert on expert's day. I really appreciate you guys giving a platform to scientists right now. - That's so nice. - Our pleasure. Have a blast in Berlin, we're jealous. - Take care. - Bye. - Hello. - What fake name are we gonna say? - I was actually gonna see if you wanted to pick one out for me. - I immediately wanna say Sarah because you look like my sister in law, Sarah. - You do look like Sarah. - And I love Sarah, so we're off to a great start. - Okay, perfect, I love it. - Okay, so you had a summer fling. Well, maybe you've had multiple summer flings, but you have one in particular you're gonna tell us about. Set the stage for us, what year was this? - This was actually last summer. This is for a fresh fling. - Yes, so my best friend's getting married. It's a bachelorette party. We're all college friends. So we're going down to her future in Laos Beach House. It's like a yacht club in Ciestike, Sarasota area. So we go down, we're having fun. It's the first night. We all have our different outfits on and we have the theme going, everything. I like to drink tequila. And when I drink too much tequila, my friends tell me that I get my tequila goggles on. - They're helpful. - Well, they're deceiving, they're deceiving. - Well, I'd be sure helpful in that. You shouldn't be so picky. - Why? - Because, why do we hang up on like, oh, you didn't have the perfect nose, but when you have a good amount of tequila and you're like, yeah, I ain't give a shit about all that stuff. - I mean, it's the irony is that the glasses do the opposite. They make your eyes really bad. - Well, exactly, which is kind of like healthy. That's my point. - Okay, yeah, we're going to agree to disagree on that. But for a fling short, go log. - Yes. So, we're going out to this club. It's a very well known club, so I won't say the name. And when we walk in, it's just our bachelor at party. And I'm like, you know what, it's fine. We can make it fun. It'll be great. So we're having like dance battles with this other party that came in and like we're just having fun. And then I noticed that one of the bouncers keeps like looking at me. And I'm like, looking back and I'm like, guys, I don't know, like I think he's giving me the eyes and they're like, absolutely not. You cannot do this. They don't have their tequila goggles on. But in my head, when I have something I want to do, I'm going to do it. So, we're flirting and he's like, do you want to go out to my car and smoke a cigarette? And I'm like, sure, why not? We're on vacation. We're having fun. I'm one of the only single girls in the party. So I'm like, who cares? So I go out, we're smoking a cigarette in the back of his van, which he also lives in, which is important in the story. (laughing) - Do you want to go back, do you want to go back? - I was you to say, do you want to come out and smoke a cigarette in my house? (laughing) - So, we go out to his home and we're sitting in the back and we're smoking a cigarette. One thing leads to another, we do have a quickie in the back of his car before going back into the club. - Right. - This guy's got a mate. He's living in the parking lot of the club and he's allowed to leave during his shift and entertain in his van and then return to work. This seems like a dream. So we go back in and all my friends are wind up near the pool table and they're like, what did you just do? And I'm like, don't worry, it's okay. I'm the chaotic friends, they're very used to it. I'm like, we're still gonna have a great night. So we're still flirting throughout the night and then I go over to him and I'm like, hey, by the way, we're about to leave. He's like, great, take my number. He's texting me, I'm not responding. So I'm like, I'm with my friends who cares. So he's like, but I really want to see you later tonight and I'm like, okay, so we get back to the house at like 2 a.m. And all my friends are like, don't go. He could kill you. He lives in his van, like we literally don't. - He lives in his van. - Literally. - That's such a deal breaker generally. - It is what they tell you to avoid. Don't get in someone's van. (upbeat music) - So I share my locations with all my friends and I'm like, okay guys, if I die, like you know where my body is or at least my phone. This guy comes and picks me up at like 2.30 in the morning and he's like, oh, can I just park my van at this yacht club? And I'm like, I don't know if I want to do that. I don't want to disrespect like her future in laws. Let's just drive somewhere. So we're driving through C.S. to key and T. Parks and he's like acting all fidgety and I'm like, it's everything okay. Like my friends have my life. location in case you're gonna do anything. And he's like, okay, well, if the cops come, I need you to say that you were driving because I don't have a license. - Okay. - And I said, but you live in your van, so like, how do you not have a license? - Yeah. - So I'm like, why don't we get out of the residential and like go somewhere else? So we end up going near the beach, and it's like a little grove thing. So we parked there for the night, we're having beers, we hooked up, and he keeps telling me over and over that he's on this reality show. And I'm like, okay. But he never tells me the name of the reality show. He just keeps referring to himself as his nickname on the reality TV show. - Okay. - So you're with a very interesting gentleman here. - And so I'm like, I don't really care what show you're on. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. Like, let's just figure it out. (laughing) We fall asleep in the back of the van, I slept in his home. (laughing) - What a gentleman inviting you to stay over. - Yeah, he didn't kick you out. - I know. - I don't know how he's gonna make your breakfast in the morning, but let's see. - The bride sister texted me at 4 a.m. and she's like, are you alive? And I'm like, yep, I'm still good, I'm great, I'll be home soon. So he takes me back, fast forward a little bit, we're at brunch, and all of the girls are like, okay, like tell me about it, like we're all together, so I'm just like going through it. And I'm like, he kept saying he was on some reality show, but like, I don't know what show it is. I'm like, well, this is his nickname. Like he keeps saying, this is his nickname, and that's all he's referring to himself too. So we looked him up, and he was on Redneck Island. - Oh, okay, I never even heard of it, but I feel like I know exactly what the show is. - It's pretty self-explanatory. - Wow. - And I was like, yep, that's him. I remember those tattoos. They're making fun of me. He calls me while we're at brunch, and he's like, hey, you wanna hang out at the beach today? And I'm like, no, like I'm with my girls, I'm over this. We're gonna have a bachelor at day. So then we end up going out that night. It was Wig Night, which all the bachelor's are doing. I have an 80s rocker mullet on. And all the other girls have long curly hair. And I'm like, whatever. So I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb. So we go back to the same club, 'cause it was the best club. And I'm like, okay, maybe he's not working tonight 'cause he was working yesterday. I walk in, there he is, and I'm like, ah, yes. So we see each other. And then he's like, hey, I'm gonna get us a hotel room tonight, so we don't have to stay in the van. And I'm like, no, like I have a flight tomorrow morning at Florida. I'm just gonna go home. We end up leaving that club, never talked to him again. Fast forward a week, the boy part of the trip is going down. And like we all went to college with them too, so people are engaged and married, and like dating the whole group. And so they all know the story, 'cause we're all friends, and the girls told him. So they go to the club, and they ask for this man by name, 'cause I know his name at this point. And they're like, hey, I so and so here, like we just wanna take a picture of him. The manager looks them all that in the face and said, we have never had anybody with that name working at this club. - Oh my God, he was just posing as a bouncer. - No, no, no, no. - So no one is able to go out to the parking lot. - And they told me that. I was like, did I sleep well? - Ew, that's so scary. And then so he went also back the next day. He wasn't working the next day. - He went back there. - Yes, oh my Lord. - If I were you, I would have had to watch as many episodes as that show as possible. - Me too. - Yeah, did you do that? - It's actually funny. I've never even looked up where to watch it. I'm like, I need to bury this in my task, but then when I saw this prompt, I was like, I have to do it. - Okay, listen, I'm gonna watch it. - He is on a reality show. And yet he's still pretending to be a bouncer. - He's a man of mystery Monica. - This is hard for me. I guess I have too high an opinion of people on reality show. - I think you do. - I want to remember, I was on a reality show in a one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica. And my license was very much in jeopardy of being reposed. (laughing) - This is fantastic. - Yeah, this is really fun. - You accidentally had sex with this celebrity. - Yeah, you fucked a famous guy. (laughing) - Yes, could I do a quick shout out? - Of course. - Yes, please. - So my sister, she's my best friend, and we have weekly debriefs about armchair anonymous. I told her that I submitted for the prompt. She does not know the full story. This is the first time she's gonna hear it. She said, don't tell me if you get on it. Just give me a shout out. So this is my shout out to my sister, Lauren. - Oh, that's wonderful. - That's so fun. Shout out, Lauren. - Hi, Lauren. Oh, that was lovely. Thank you so much. It was great meeting you. - Thanks, great to meet you too. - Have a good day. - Have a good day. - Have a good day. - See you too. - Bye. Hello. - Bye. - Hi, how's it going? - Good. Oh, I love your voice, it's raspy. Thank you, I'm kind of sick, so it's not normally like this, but it's cool to see you guys. - You should stay sick. - Well, no. - I think that sometimes like I've either been really sick or I threw my voice out 'cause I was yelling too much and I'm like, yeah, I wish my voice was-- - Sick voice is cool. - It is cool. - What name should we come up with? And I feel like it should mirror your voice a little bit. - Phoebe Buffet. Phoebe's good. - It was holding call field sister in Ketcher and The Rise. It's got a really good literature history. Okay, so Phoebe, you had out summer fling. This is very recent just a month ago. - This summer? - Yes. - Oh, hot off the presses. - So to set the stage, I went to Europe with my best friend and her boyfriend this summer and we did a couple different things, but one of the pieces of the trip was going backpacking. I had gone through a breakup earlier this year, so I was kind of manifesting like some hookup or a spicy make out or something on this trip, but when we were backpacking, I was like, oh, it won't be that. It'll be like at a Spanish club or something like that. So we signed up for this group trip. It was with a bunch of strangers to go hunt to hunt backpacking. So it's essentially like little mountain cabins and they have a bunch of cots and so you're sleeping with a lot of strangers and then you backpack during the day. And you do like group meals so you don't have to carry any food or tent or anything. So it's kind of like bougie backpacking. We sign up for this group trip and my expectations are very low. I've done group trips before and it's been entirely women and maybe like one random middle aged guy. But when we got there, there were three guys in their 20s and 30s and my friends and I were scheming really, okay, maybe one of them will hit it off, we'll see what happens. And so we got on the trip, we take our little taxi up into the mountains and the way it was set up was we stayed in a hotel, a hut, a hut, a hostel, and then another hotel. So it was different combinations every night kind of all over the place, but really fun. So the first night we're in a hut and there was like 30 people and trying to suss out the vibes. One of the guys and I seem to be vibing with each other a little bit but he's very artsy, very in his head and I was like, I don't know if this is mutual or not. So I'm just filling out the first few days, the second night that we're in a hut. It's like charling the chocolate factory style. It's like one long mattress and it's my best friend, her boyfriend, me, and then this guy who we will call Ryan. And we're like kind of nudging each other in our sleep but without really acknowledging it. I'm like, I wonder if I should make a move. I'm like, no, it's too risky. He might be foliously asleep. I don't know if these bumps are intentional so I don't do anything. And then the next day we are in a hostel and I kind of dropped a clue to the group earlier. I was like, oh, I'm gonna go for like a night time walk. This evening, if anyone wants to join, try to go see the stars because the sunset really late where we were in northern Spain. So you didn't see the stars until like 11.30 pm. So I say that a few hours before the end of the evening and then don't really bring it up and then it's an open invite to the group. And then later that evening, we're both getting ready for bed at the same time and we both walk out of the bathroom at the same time. And I was like, oh, hey Ryan, do you wanna still go for a walk tonight? And he's like, oh yeah, sure I'll go. And so we go for a stroll, but then it's so beautiful. I'm like enamored by the mountains. I'm like get distracted and then get too nervous to make a move. So I'm like, okay, maybe the next day. I can't tell if he's flirting. He's just very polite, very friendly. And he had also gone through a breakup earlier this year after like seven years. So I was like, we're in the same boat, but maybe he's not at the same place with healing from his last relationship. So I was taking it safe. And then the next night is our last night in a hut and we called it the Pizza Hut because they have like fresh pizza when you get there. - Ooh, do you wanna take this trip? - It's amazing everyone should go. It's called Pico Seiropa. So I get to the last hut. And again, it's like 30 people, a bunch of strangers coming in. There's trail runners, there's young hot people everywhere and older hot people. And one of my friends was like, Kelsey, instead of Ryan, like you should go after this guy who's like openly talking about his open relationship with his wife. And I was like, oh, maybe, maybe not. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, we'll wait and see. And so we get these assorted caught numbers. And it's numbered for a locker and then a caught for you to sleep in. And you're like right next to each other, maybe two inches of space at night when you're sleeping. My friend might grab to me randomly, key number seven. And then her boyfriend had grabbed key number eight. And then she's like, put it back. And then Ryan came up to the hut later and happened to grab key number eight out of the 35 beds that there are. So I was like, okay, that feels kind of serendipitous. And so we're going to bed. And there's like a random old man snoring super loud in the corner. And there's like 15 of us in this room. And I was like, okay, it's now or never. I got to make a move. I could so. beautiful outside but I was like I can't whisper because this is such a cramped quarters like someone's on my group trip is going to hear me ask this guy if he wants to go make out outside and then it's going to be just weird for the whole group the next day because we had 12 people that were all strangers traveling around Spain together so I decided to type a note out on my phone as we're going to bed and so I type out on like this maybe way too bold of me to ask and I might be reading the vibes wrong and no offense at all if you're not feeling the same way but would you want to wake me up later once the stars are out and go make out outside oh and he had already fallen asleep oh my god oh no so he like kind of woke up startled and he was like yeah that sounds nice and I was like okay that doesn't sound convincing and then 30 seconds later he's like I'm so sorry I was just waking up that does sound really wonderful we should go do that and I was like great okay then I fall asleep for like an hour he nudges me awake and then he's like to still want to go outside I'm like yeah so we tried to quietly come out of this hut even though it's like creaky wood everywhere and so many people and we walk outside and we're looking at the stars and it's just a ring of mountains around us that's like you're in a planetarium with the stars above you and it's just picture perfect so we're just chatting and I'm like getting distracted by the stars again and he's like so did you want to kiss yes so we start making out and it's immediate chemistry romance vibes are very high we're very into each other and after a few minutes I stop him and I'm like wouldn't it be so crazy if we had sex in the mountains under the stars this laying out on these rocks and he was like yeah yeah that would be amazing and I was like okay again he sounds a little hesitant and then I was like are you into it like we can totally keep making out if you want I'm like have you like sucked with anyone since your last relationship and he's like yeah I like sucked with someone it's not bad and I was like okay what is it he's like I just don't think I'm going to last very long yeah very very honest yeah yeah flattering yeah I was like oh I'm flattered and also it's 1230 and we're laying on rocks so it doesn't matter yeah and then he was like also I didn't bring a condom and I was like don't worry I have some no you I love this you are so prepared I mean like a type A kind of yeah yeah this is very type A summer flame yeah I'm gonna be prepared for anything and it's just funny because people were making fun of how heavy my backpack was he's like oh so this is what you're carrying and so I run back to the hut and I get the condom and then we lay down in the grass fluffy who's on their back so the other person can look the stars oh wow they're respectful we go back to the hut sneak in and go to bed we kind of fall asleep sort of holding hands a little bit and so the next day we're like hiking with our whole group the whole day we're trying to be sneaky about it because we don't want to throw off the vibes of the group trip and so I don't even tell my best friend that's on the trip with me until like 7 pm that night like okay maybe that was a one-time thing and then that night we're in a hotel because it's the last night that we're with the whole group and I can tell at the end of the night he's kind of lingering in the lobby I was collecting money to tip our guides and he'd already given me money and I walked up to and I was like so should I come to your room tonight and he was like yeah yeah let's do that and so I go up to his room and then we have specs again and it's wonderful and we fall asleep talking about our breakups and it's just like very therapeutic and I forgot to mention I kind of like snuck out of my room again I was rooming with this girl from Poland and I just had to tell a little white lies like I'm gonna go hang out with my friends you can leave the lights off like don't worry I probably won't be back for a little while and then I was able to like sneak back in at 5am and no one suspected a thing and then we were done with the group portion of the trip they're driving us back to the city in Spain where everyone was flying out from and everyone was flying out that day except for my friends and then Ryan and I was like again what a great coincidence this is we're going back to the town and we meet up in the city center and we're like okay well we have to do something fun today we got to like you hanging out so I meet up for this like six course lunch and then we go to a beach and it's a topless beach and it's my first topless beach ever and so we're laying on the beach and it's great and did you go topless of course you have to did everyone all your friends no and Ryan was very respectful I didn't make a big deal about or anything but I was like okay bucket list checked that evening we all went for late night Spanish dinner and we're having drinks and talking about like childhood trauma all four of us together and then it's kind of unspoken that I'm going to go back to his hotel with him instead of my friends Airbnb and so we're walking back and we just hiked like 45 miles and so we were a little tired we didn't really want to like full on go dancing and we stumbled on at 11.30 at night this like Spanish contemporary dance performance in front of this old town square and there are hundreds of people watching and all these lights going off and it was so beautiful and then we're they're just in time for the finale where this very slow Spanish song started playing hundreds of people are singing along and starting to slow dance and it was like a movie set oh my god I'm in love I know we got to say he writes films I was like he's gonna have to make a movie about this and then it turns into like a DJ set at the very end and we go down and we're in the dance circle and then at midnight they like cut it off it felt like a very Cinderella moment and then we we're walking back to his hotel and we're just like humming in the streets singing and dancing and everything and we go up to his hotels spend the night together again falsely like talking about our lives and childhood and everything and in the morning we go out for breakfast and we're walking around the town and it's really lovely and then we realize like I'm like well I have everything and you're flying out today and I'm going back to my friends to like say goodbye in the middle of the street like it was a movie like with people rushing past us and I put my hand on his cheek and gave him a really soft kiss and I was like bye Ryan turned around walked off and then was skipping and like smiling back to my friend's place and that was that I'm well done I'm so happy for you I'm so glad you have that was it were you like love sick after like did you miss him no it was crazy it felt like the most perfect thing that both of us needed post long relationships being over let's you know your heart still works oh what a happy story I know I'm really moved by that he is an American he loves in New York call me I wonder if you guys don't ever have another rendezvous I know we have each other's phone numbers and his birthday was like a week after the trip ended and so I texted like a vague message or I was like I hope our paths cross again someday and have a wonderful birthday and everything and he just kind of reiterated that so it just kind of felt like a little bow on top of a little rom com yeah that's a beautiful summer playing yeah I feel like I'm on my period or something you are like crying yeah yeah yeah I'm like are you literally have a tear does looking your little face you know it's featuring my little Delta you know a trip like that I was like I love this person she's like Delta oh they're all like Delta literally I have that thought Monica I was like man if I could just see everyone was Delta I would just love everyone so much yeah wow this took such such such a crazy turn okay wow yes that was all the things that were happening to me it's going to let out the emotions you're so sweet I like that's me too me too well thank you for letting me tell it yeah thank you so soon this will all be okay don't know yes who's on their period me and I'm not a tear inside but I am not I do think that was such a special story that made me so happy give me shout out yes my friend summer she's wonderful she also listens to like every armchair anonymous episode and we talk about it all the time big shout out to summer summer summer we love you thanks for listening summer fling really ding ding ding yeah perfect thanks for chatting with us yeah have a great rest of your summer bye bye oh well that was great all right that was that was fun that was hopeful love you do you want to sing a tune or something I run this enjoy.