Armchair Anonymous: Study Abroad

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman. Hi. This is a prompt that originated with an experience you had, which was studying abroad. I studied abroad twice. Best times ever. Best abroad ever. Best times ever. Best studies ever were abroad. You know, one thing on my first study abroad, that's when I first found David Sedaris. Oh, really? I, before going, went to Target with my mom, got a book for the plane and the trip, and it was Me Talk Pretty One Day. Oh, really? That was your intro? And it was a perfect one because he is talking about language. There's some travel in there. So, first entree into Mr. Sedaris. Mine was Carrie Read Naked and told me I had to read it. She read naked? That was his first book. Oh, Carrie read the book naked. Yeah. Yeah. And told me. Recommended it. Okay. You have to read this. Yeah. I said, okay, I'll do that. Let's keep talking about it. Happy birthday, Trishy and Carrie, by the way. Aw. They just, yeah, they just had their 50th. The twinsies. Happy birthday. Yeah, I love them both. Okay, please enjoy Crazy Study Abroad Stories. We get support from Quince. I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait. I'm fully. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers. Give me the boots. Give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince. Because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at $60. $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real. But it is because they go straight to the factories. They skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. 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YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com slash premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel any time. Now let's get into today's episode. Remember one thing. You gotta know. I'm gonna keep on shining. Hi. Can you hear us? Hi. I can hear you. Is it Blair? It is. Blair, where are you? East coast of Florida in Satellite Beach. Your shirt says FSU. Is that north or south of Daytona? It's about an hour and a half south. It's about 20 minutes south of like Cocoa Beach, Cape Canaveral, where the rocket ships take off. Yeah. Just a little north of Fort Pierce? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Today was a college day, so I had to represent my college. And you're doing it well. Today's college day? Uh-oh. Well, what does that mean? Study abroad, so I figured it was. Oh, duh. Yeah, yeah. We're just catching up. I'm about to start my period. She's, yeah, she's all a tither. A tither? I can understand. She's upside down. Okay, you have a study abroad story. Okay, so this story takes place in the spring of 2005. I was a junior at Florida State, and I went and studied abroad for the semester on semester at sea. Oh, hold on. I need to know what goes behind that decision, because that's a little different than go to Europe and have some fun. Right. Well, studying abroad in Florida was not ever really a thing. You know, I know a lot of people as juniors, they study abroad here. It just wasn't even really an option. But my cousin, she was going, and we were at a wedding together a couple months before it started, and she was like, you should come. And so we looked into it, and it worked. So I signed up and went with my cousin. Coincidentally, there were a couple people from high school that I knew going on. And then there was a couple, you know, other people that I knew through these connections. And what kind of ship is it? Is it like a cruise ship, a working ship, a cargo ship? So it is a small cruise ship that they turn into a school, essentially. So like the ballroom, the casinos, all the auxiliary rooms are turned into classrooms. When you're sailing from one port to the other, you're in class. So it could be Monday. It could be Sunday. You're in class. And they had classes that, you know, you could take towards your major. So you were just kind of continuing your education. And then when you got to port, you were in port for about a week. And during that week, you didn't have to go to class. Oh, fun. Okay, I'm now in. Yeah, you love cruises. I kind of thought she was going to be on like a fucking fishing vessel, like a maritime academy type experience where you're a crew of a boat. Study abroads are supposed to be fun, not stupid. Yeah, so there were about 600 students. There was a group of retired people who could have paid to go on and they just sailed with us and they got to sit on any classes they wanted to sit on. And then they got to travel and go around the world. Oh, boy. So our itinerary was we started in Vancouver. The plan was to go South Korea, Japan, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Kenya, South Africa. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is a dream. Cruise around the world. And stay in all these places for a week. Yes. Yeah. And then we went Brazil, Venezuela and finished in Fort Lauderdale. So fortunately for me, I got home and I was home. It's literally a trip around the world. It's the whole semester from January to April. All in all, spoiler alert, it was a wonderful experience and something you can't ever replicate in your lifetime. So we took off from Vancouver in January and the plan was to go across. Across the Pacific Ocean and land in South Korea. So this was almost a two-week journey. Pacific Ocean is very large and we're crossing the Pacific Ocean. And as soon as we took off, day one, the seas were a little rocky. Everybody was seasick. Oh, great. So there were barf bags in every railing of every staircase. I don't want to go anymore. You're out. Yeah. I'm still in. I am terrified of throw up. So this is my worst nightmare. I would open my door to walk out to class in the morning. And there'd be trails of vomit in the hallway. Oh, my Lord. This is like that movie. Yes. What's it called? The Triangle of Sadness. Ding, ding, ding. There were men posted near all the classrooms with like buckets. So people didn't make it to the bat. I mean, it was a nightmare. You had to carry your tray of food and, you know, sit and eat and like hold your food while you ate it. Everything was a hassle. How was sleeping? Would it wake you up or did you sleep right through it? At the beginning, sleeping was tough. Eventually, it got a little easier. Yeah. Rock-a-bye baby by the end. Right. And once the seasickness wore off. And you kind of got your equilibrium balanced out. Yes, exactly. Do you have a seatbelt in the bed? No, but we probably needed one. You should have. It's like when you're on a plane. They tell you to keep your seatbelt on. Well, that leads me to about a week into this trip, we were in the middle of the Pacific. And three storms had come together and made one giant storm. Oh, my gosh. And we woke up in the middle of the night and my bed had detached from the wall. I slid across to the other side of the room. And the foot of the bed was on the other side of the room. And the foot of the bed was wedged under like the vanity. So, it had completely moved to the other side of the room. TVs had fallen out. I mean, everything was demolished. So, as we're waking up to this, we start to hear the sirens. Get the life vests. Remain calm. Get in the hallway. So, we put our life vests on middle of the night. We're sitting in the hallway just waiting and waiting and waiting. We don't really have any information. Eventually, they call again. Remain calm, but you need to report to your muster station. So, we go to the top couple floors of this cruise ship. Now, meanwhile, I'm about a week in. I don't know too many people other than the handful of people that I knew. So, here I am thinking, I'm just going to die by myself. You know, on this ship with nobody that I know. So, I go up to whatever floor I was on and I'm standing on the landing. They're separating men from women. They don't want to hanky-panky. No, it's a titanic situation. They want to get the women and children off first. As they should. But what if it was because people were like, fuck, we might die. Should we bang now? And they were trying to limit hanky-panky. It is a college study abroad. I don't think anyone would be paying. I'm not paying attention. There's a lot going on. So, it's a good time. But then I'm standing on the landing. I spot one of my friends and we run into each other's arms. And I think, okay, at least if I'm going to die, I'm going to go down with Jenna. And Jenna and I are going to survive. You know, go through this together. Oh, my God. You guys are the Jack and Rose of the study abroad shit. Are those the character names in Titanic? Yes, how dare you. Okay. Now, quick question. I've been on a few cruises. And Mustard Station, this means like we might be getting into the boats. How are getting into tinier boats going to be? We're advantageous in an enormous storm. Don't we want to stay on the big old cruise ship? Well, we never got to that. I don't even know if that was the plan, to be honest. We just had to get. get out from below. And we had to get up on the top decks so we could do whatever step was next. Jenna and I are standing there. The sun's starting to come up at this point. So the boat's rocking and you look out the window and all you see is skies. And then you see ocean. And then you see skies. Later on, I heard that if our boat had tipped just a few more degrees, we would have capsized. So eventually, here's where the men and women come in. I don't know if this is their intention, but eventually we're moved to the rooms that we're going to sit in for the next 12 hours while we wait for this to pass. I was in a room in like the dining area. So we had to sit where the men had their legs straddled and we had to sit between their legs, basically sitting in their lap because we're swaying from side to side so bad. And this is like your guys' acting exercise. Yeah, breathing in each other's mouth. I told you it was not real. Are you so in a state of life and death this doesn't cross your mind? Or are you thinking, I hope I get assigned to a handsome man? I was just thinking that. Yeah. Do you get that? Yeah. Do you get to pick your partner for leg sitting? Then the last thing that happens to them before they die is they don't get picked. I know. That would be horrendous. That's so sad. It did run through my head like maybe I'm tied to this person for life. Meet cute. Yeah. The ultimate meet cute. And it didn't go that way. I couldn't pick out this person to line up now. And since we were in the dining hall, we were next to the kitchen. And in the kitchen, you could hear all the pots and pans and plates and everything just smash and then smash from side to side. Oh, my God. This really is triangle of sadness. Yeah, it is. For hours and hours this went on. So, you know, everyone's delirious. We're hungry. They're passing out cheese sandwiches because they can't cook. You know, it's just a nightmare. So, what actually happened is the waves were 30 to 50 feet. Oh, hold on a second. 30 to 50 feet. Oh, my God. Five-story waves. This is a true nightmare. What was your fear level? Had you come to peace with I'm going to die? Like, what was the journey over those 12 hours of just how afraid you were or were not? Was everyone shockingly calm? What was the vibe? I remember people being shockingly calm. Now, keeping in mind, we'd been on the boat for like a week dealing with this kind of weather. Obviously, not this extreme, but we'd been in it and we knew that the seas were rough. I had heard at one point, if my memory serves me correctly, that this was the first time that they had done it across the Pacific in the winter. So, they were unaware of how the storms would affect the boat. So, what happened was a 50-foot wave hit the bridge, shattered the glass. The whole control panel was electric. So, it shorted out the control panel. They couldn't control the boat. Two of the three engines shut down. Oh, my God. We basically had to just sit there and wait it out and wait for the storm to pass in order for the Coast Guard to be able to come out and rescue us. And you are like a week out from port. It's going to take the Coast Guard an eternity, I'd imagine. Yes. It took a couple of days for the Coast Guard to come out and then they had to tow us back to Hawaii. And we stayed in Hawaii while they fixed the boat. Now, an interesting fact, when we were going to Hawaii, we were going to Hawaii. We were going to Hawaii. We were going to across the Pacific. We had crossed the international date line. Are you familiar? Yes. So, we had crossed this and then the next day or that day, whatever the timeline was, we had to cross back over it. So, the day that this all happened was just a lost day. So, people kind of say it's like the day that never happened. It was a Monday. We went into Tuesday and then we went back to Tuesday and then it's like the day never happened. So, we really were out in the middle of the Pacific. So, they towed us to Hawaii and we stayed in Hawaii for about a week, figuring out a plan of what to do. So, we ended up missing South Korea and Japan. And then they took the 600 students from Hawaii and they flew us to Shanghai. From Shanghai, they flew us to Hong Kong. Hong Kong, they flew us to Vietnam. Oh, so now it just became a flight. Oh, I love this. Now it's luxury. Study at air. Yes. And they had to put us up in hotels. Oh, my gosh. So, this is a blessing in disguise story as well. So, once we were in Vietnam, the boat was fixed. It came and met us in Ho Chi Minh City. And when port was done, we got on the boat, we set sail and we finished the semester and everybody was fine. And you hit all those locations. Wow. Yep. So, then we went everywhere else. Oh, my Lord. We went to Cambodia, India, and then continued on. And this was like the first couple of weeks of this adventure. So, when you're a couple months in, you kind of forget about it, scarred everybody pretty badly. But you just went about the rest of the trip and we finished the trip. I think there was a lot of fun. There were two people from what I've heard and looked up that got hurt. One was one of the people that worked on the ship, hurt his shoulder, must have banged into something. And then one of the retired elderly passengers hurt their hip. No students were injured. Maybe a handful, if that, went home after this because you had the option. People were traumatized. Yeah. I might have been out after that start. I think I'm going home. Like, because how many warnings was this one person need to go like, oh, yeah, this is not to be trusted. I'll probably go on the flying part. But once the boat comes back, I'm like, I think it's time for me to go home. Yeah. Now I want to go. Now I want you to pay for me to go home. Yeah. Fly me home. Did you have any romantic liaisons on that? Well, no, unfortunately. I had a boyfriend at the time, not on the boat. So, yeah, none of that. Well, actually, so my cousin, who I went on the boat with, met a guy on this boat. They, you know, were friends first and started dating. And now they're married with three kids. Oh, my goodness. So, it was a meet cute. Oh, my God. Do you think she was in the legs? Quite possibly. I wasn't with her. So, I don't know. I don't remember. But she can clarify for me. They now live in Amsterdam and have three kids and they're happily married. So, something great came out of it. Yay. Started adventurous and ended adventurous living in Amsterdam. One more question. During the, like, legs and back and forth, was there puking again? Yes, some. But the extreme that if it had been calm and then this happened, I think it would have been a totally different situation. But I think at that point, we were all used to it. Everyone's already out of fluids at that point. They had puked themselves out. Well, Blair, that's a wild study abroad story. I didn't not expect we would have an oceanic portion of this. Me either. Yes, yes. I figured that somebody on my semester had to call in. So, hopefully, I did them justice. Yes. Great. I'm glad it was me that called in and got picked. Do you have any idea if they stayed in business, that organization? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're still sailing. I get emails all the time about, you know, the next adventure. And, you know, when I was doing some Googling to get my facts straight for this, it said spring 2027. So, they're still ongoing. I know that after our semester, the host school changed around a bit. Because, obviously, there was a lot that went along with that legally and everything that happened. Yeah, it's still going. I get emails to go on reunion tours. Would you ever do this trip again? No. I don't even love a cruise anymore. We've gone on a cruise as a family, and I do it to appease the children, but I'm all set. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with you. It's a little fishbowly, a little claustrophobic. Yes, very much so. Well, Blair, it's delightful to meet you. Yes. Thanks for chatting. So nice to meet you guys. Thank you for this. Take care. All right. Bye-bye. We get support from our presenting sponsor, YouTube Premium. Now, you already know I'm a big YouTube person. It's incredible on its own, but Premium makes the whole experience feel enhanced. Like, you don't realize how much better it can get until you try it. The biggest game changer for me, background play. I love long, two-hour deep dives. You name it. Motorcycles, travel, cars. Cooking. Cooking shows for me. Cooking. Listen, with Premium, you don't have to keep the screen open, so I can lock my phone, slide it into my pocket, and listen to a podcast while I'm folding laundry or working out. It's also completely ad-free, meaning when a narrator is building up to the climax of an insane story, there's zero interruption. And for travel, offline download saves the day. I love this one. Relying on airplane Wi-Fi can be a gamble, so I just download my favorite videos before takeoff. 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So, we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up, and one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers? Which is a fair question. Yeah, so Instagram has got something called teen accounts, And they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Sleep mode is genius. Right. And here's the thing. For anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens. I am really glad Instagram is helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at Instagram dot com slash teen accounts. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace. And I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of. What they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours. But at some point, you're ready to put it out there. And that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling. Analytics, everything you need to go from. I've been working on this to here it is. Come find me all in one place. No code, no stitching together. A bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace dot com slash DAX for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello. Hi. What fake name would you like? Whatever name you want to use for me. You don't have a favorite name. Is there? Like, let me just say, if I hadn't been named DAX, I think I would have wanted to have been Justin. You're obsessed with the name Justin. I am. Every Justin I've ever met was so cool. My cousin being the coolest of the group. That's nice. I wanted to be named Sky. Oh, like the Paw Patrol character? Well, it was pre-paw. Pre-paw. I think we should call you. It's dangerous, right? No. Is it too tough? Should I just randomly pick a name? No, I want to call her Rachel. Rachel. Perfect. But there's a stress involved, Rachel, because we do this often. And if someone has some association with a name, like, let's just say their grandmother was named that. And then you're like, oh, my God, what do you think? I look like a grandma? That's why I picked Rachel, because Rachel's one of my best friends. Oh, thank you. Wasn't she also a member of the Friends family? Friends, yeah. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. My goodness. Okay, great. So, Rachel, are you allowed to tell us what part of the world you're in? Yes, I'm in the Midwest. Ah, wonderful. We love the Midwest. I'm just keeping my name anonymous because I couldn't get a hold of all the players in this story. You know, being respectful. That's great. Yeah, that's very ethical of you and very Midwestern of you. So, Rachel, you had a study abroad experience. Please tell us all about it. So, I'm going to take you on the way back machine, truly, all the way back to May 2002. It was an exchange program between my university here in the U.S. Big Ten University, right? And university in Northern Italy. So, this program ran from January to June. So, long period of time, like time for us to get to know all of Europe, all of Italy. And classes were Monday to Thursday. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, we got to go off, travel, do all the things, right? Spend all the money, be 20-year-olds in Europe without a care. So, by the time May rolls around, we are on a super budget because we're like, okay, we have pretty much spent all of our money gallivanting around Europe. But we've still got all these weekends. Where are we going? Where are we going to go? So, we figure, hey, let's take a slow train down to Naples and then let's get on a ferry and go over to the island of Ischia. I don't know if you guys are familiar with Ischia. Most people go to Capri. Educate us on Ischia. It is an island in the same area like Bay of Naples. They're famous for hot springs. So, like on the edge of the sea, you can actually boil an egg. Most people like to sit where the waters mix. Wow. So, we're like, okay, slow train, cheap, ferry cheap, free hot springs, we're in. Can I ask you a really quick question? Yeah. It's an Amanda Knox question. She was in Northern Italy. No? Is that where she was at? I don't remember what part of Italy. I'm just wondering if you were in the same area or if when that case came about, it rung particularly poignant to you having done a study abroad there. What year was that? After. 2007 in Pergia, Italy. Okay. So, nothing. When that was happening, you weren't like, oh, that could have been me. No, I definitely thought about it. I was like, ooh, like younger woman. This story also kind of leads a little bit, right, into some concerns about that. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's tell the story and then we'll figure out the parallels. Okay. So, we go down to Ischia. We get to a hostel. The hostel owner's like, hey, good news. It's not really touristy season. So, all five of you can go in one big room because there's me and four friends, right, that are also there from the same university. You can go in one room together, be in all the bunk beds, have a great time. Super. So, we go out during the day. We see all the hot springs. We come back and like Italian time, like 8.39, we're like, we should get dinner. So, we go down to the guy at the front desk of the hostel. We're like, hey, we need a restaurant recommendation. No cell phones. No internet. No Google. No Yelp. He says, well, the restaurant across the street is actually pretty good. And we're like, that's a restaurant? It doesn't look like a restaurant. And he's like, yeah, it's a restaurant. It's got super old stone building, no windows, two giant wooden doors. So, we're like, all right. Dude says it's a restaurant. We'll believe him. We'll go over. Let's go over, open the giant wooden doors. And it is. It's a restaurant on the inside. There's only one other party in there. So, not a big deal. Server comes over, seats us. All good. So, we order our pasta. And again. We're on a big budget. We order one house liter of wine. It's like four or five euro. It's all we can afford. As we're eating, suddenly the server brings over another house liter of wine. Right? Comes in a little pitcher. And we're like, excuse me, sir. And our Italian's pretty good at this point. We're like, so sorry if you misunderstood. We didn't order that. Actually, we can't afford it. Right? Like, we're straight up telling him. Like, we can't have the wine. He's like, it's okay. It's okay. It's from that table. Over there. So, we look over and there's a long table lined with men on both sides. And one guy's sitting at the head of the table. Sorry. And is that all girls? Five girls. All 20-year-old girls. And a table full of men. Age range of the men. Are they in their 40s? What are we talking? I'm going to guess 35 to 60. Okay. Nice mix of men. Nice mix of men. Exactly. That's what we said. Let's look at that nice mix of men. So, as we're eating, more and more pitchers of wine appear. Like, liter after liter of wine. I'm not really sure. I'm not really drinking that much. I'm not a big drinker. But my friends are pretty inebriated. One of them says, we should go say thank you to the table of people that have been sending us wine. That's what you do, right? Like, a bunch of 20-year-old women. You're like, let's go to the strange men that have been sending us booze. So, we go over there. They're like, hey, sit down with us. Like, eat with us. So nice to meet you. Let's introduce ourselves. So, we're like, sure. So, we sit down. They've got tons of food. Tons of alcohol. We go around. We do introductions. They introduce us to the man at the head of the table. They said, he doesn't need a name. La Pertutti. Which means the father for everyone. Oh. Okay. So, this is a mafioso situation. The father for everyone. Right? The padre. The godfather. 20-year-olds know nothing about mafia. Right? Like, Sopranos may or may not be out. We can't afford HBO. It's not happening at that time. Yeah. We're like, oh, nice. There's a father figure for the neighborhood. Right? That's so sweet. So, things are taking hours. We're having a great time. Eventually, I realized two things. One, no one else has come in the restaurant. Two, suddenly there's really loud music. Like, dance music playing. Oh. All of the kitchen staff has come out. All of the wait staff. They all want to start a dance party with us. What? They're like, everyone get up. Dance. Everybody's, except for me, is, you know, pretty three sheets to the wind. So, they're like, yeah. Like, get up. They bring over tables. Everyone dance on the tables. My friends are on the tables dancing. Oh, my lord. There's a moment where I'm like, feels like it might not be the right thing for us to be doing. So, I'm in my head and I'm like, I need to touch grass for a minute. I need to go outside. I need to get a deep breath. I need to figure out, like, should I be grabbing my friends out of here? Is this a danger moment? You are so me. We should have named you Monica, not Rachel. Yeah. Maybe we have to retrofit the name. So, I go over to the big wooden doors. And the big wooden doors, like the handle is one of those big iron rings, right? Like a bull nose. You can picture it on the old door. So, I grab the ring and I go to pull it. It doesn't move. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus. And I'm like, oh, God. Okay. So, maybe it just has to turn. Right? Like, maybe I'm just a dum-dum. Old door. So, I turn the knob. Nothing again. The door is locked. And it's locked from the inside, obviously. Yeah. Because no one's been outside. So, I'm like, okay. I have to figure this out now. Now, panic alarm. So, I see a server actually doing restaurant-y stuff. And I was like, hey, sir, I don't feel very well. I think I need to go outside. And he just ignored me. I know my Italian's good. He's ignoring me. He's just doing stuff. So, I finally, I'm like, I think I'm going to be sick, like, right now. And he was like, oh, okay, hold on. So, he grabs me. He grabs me. Walks me quickly over to the door. Goes in his pocket. Pulls out keys. Oh, my God. So, either he was the right person or they all had keys. I don't know. Opens the door. Shoves me out. Slams the door. Shut. So, now, I've lost all visibility to my friends. So, I'm like, all right. They can't see me either. I'm going to hightail it over to the hostel and try to get some help. So, I run across the street to our hostel. And I start screaming, like, in Italian as I'm running in. Like, I need help. I need help. My friends I was with need help. And the guy at the front desk is like, "Oh my God, what do we need to do?" I'm like, need to call the police so he picks up the phone he starts dialing and he says where are your friends right like where do they need help and i'm like they're in the restaurant and he stops and he looks me in the eyes and he says which restaurant and i said the restaurant across the street and he puts the phone no no no no no and he says i can't call the police and i was like screaming in italian like why why like why can't you call the police and he goes well they own the police are you kidding this is horrifying oh my god you were right most likely right like this is some type of nefarious family or group so i did what any other 20 year old you know american would do at the time i called my boyfriend back in the u.s to talk about it call the police at home have them help you i actually married this man so he was like oh you're gonna tell the restaurant story so i called him and i'm telling him things like i think we need to call the embassy he's like i don't know that we're there i also don't know how i would do that you know he's like 21 years old back in the u.s this is good thinking on your part i'm freaked out i'm like these are my friends i don't know what's happening to them so i was on the phone with him for about probably two hours or so when i talked to him he's like i think it was two hours that's pricey well yeah yeah back then cards at the train station let me tell you i knew how to get the cheap stuff so i could call him but still still more than another liter of wine which i probably should have just bought and avoided this whole situation right so all of the sudden the door bursts open and my friends come running in and they are distressed you can tell like they are sweating and they are freaking out and i'm like how did you get out oh my god i've been sitting here freaking out but i didn't want to go back to the restaurant and then there's nobody here to tell the story you know like what's happening and they're like we um were almost taken to switzerland they said all the men there were talking about yeah they have wives and kids but there were secret tunnels and they were going to bring them to switzerland now remember we're not in northern italy anymore like we're down the coast now so switzerland's not down the block they're going to take them to switzerland they've got homes there they're going to have great trips and they're like eventually we convinced them we had to go back to school on monday and they let us go okay good so they were in the business of trying to buy their way into some action and they were like we're going to bring them to switzerland and woo but they weren't into assault as it turns out yes in that case oh thank goodness so we went back to the hostel room and those that needed to sleep it off slept it off i stayed up i was like freaked out right i'm like this is right across the street i don't know who's still there at first light i was like everybody get up we are getting off this island and we are yeah forget boiling an egg in the water who cares i have been to italy thankfully many times since never once have i gone back to ischia never once that i have wanted to go back to ischia well it was lovely meeting you yes lovely to meet you too great to chat with you have a great day okay bye hello hello oh hello oh for you were a ghost for a second can we give you a fake name or is she are you nina what did you want to call her what do you think oh oh oh oh one two three olivia really look like olivia munn yeah i've gotten that yes you look a lot like her enough so that you could be her right now trickiness nina where are you i'm in santa monica oh my goodness a stone's throw wow in a six-hour drive also docs i have to say i just moved but my apartment before this was on 14th and santa monica boulevard that's where you lived i lived at euclid which is 13th in santa did you live between santa monica and colorado or santa monica and broadway santa monica and arizona over arizona so you were north you were one block nicer exactly where are you from though i'm from rhode island oh rhode island so monica respectfully disagree with the little brother yeah i thought that might come up you know i mean i think it's fair enough but it's small but mighty yeah of course a lot of little brothers are i've yet to hear who has big brother and monica is only saying everywhere's got a little brother and i think only new york city has big brother energy and what else los angeles california has big brother energy new york has big brother energy no other places do too i think georgia has big brother energy all the places everywhere you live has big brother energy i think a lot of places in the south have big brother energy i don't think many of those have little brother energy okay i'll go through each i'm just kidding the more that i think about it i love little they always come out a little bit better they get to learn from the big one that's very nice of you to say they mature earlier too sometimes steal the girls from the older brothers i know some stories there's a little brother present you know i know have you ever stolen a girlfriend from your brother that's not your business or his exclusive okay nina you have a study abroad story i do have a study abroad story okay so it was december 2016 and i was studying abroad in barcelona best study ever and my friends and i decided to do a weekend in stockholm one of my girlfriends had friends there and so we were planning to stay with one of them and his family so the first day we got there and we hung up we'll call this guy james the one who was hosting we were hanging out with james and his friends and so we went to his friend sam's house and from the start everything was super fun like we were at sam's house and we were hanging out with james and his friends and so his parents were amazing so warm so welcoming sam was awesome so kind he had this adorable relationship with his little sister and just great vibe family-oriented person really cool like this is a great day so later that night the plan was to go out to the club with james and his friends including sam so we were about a van of like five to eight kids and initially we just wanted to go straight to the club but at the last minute sam insisted on stopping at this house party most of us didn't want to go we didn't know anyone there we didn't know where it was we just were like no like what's the point of going let's just get to the club but he just somehow overruled us like our opinion did not matter he had his like set on his party the party itself was like pretty boring pretty forgettable we were only there for maybe like 15 or 20 minutes until sam abruptly decided it was for you at this point something about him felt different like his demeanor had totally shifted yeah i'm already i'm like sam just needed to stop and i'm like i'm gonna go to the at a house to get drugs before we go to the nightclub is what it feels like why do we need to do a pit stop here if not to get something but i'll stay out of it okay i was wondering when you might jump in but here we go so he was yeah suddenly like tense and like distant and like cold like also felt like he was somehow in charge of us like nope like we're going we're leaving now let's go just like this eerie energy so we did though we made it to the club we all had a good time kind of lost sight of sam like my girlfriends and i were just dancing eventually we're ready to leave and our host james had already left so we held a taxi of our own and we're ready to go home we were tired and then suddenly like sam reappears and said he was gonna join our taxi home and like he loves to stop he loves pit stops but the taxis were like incredibly expensive for some reason i don't know if that's still the case in stockholm but they're really expensive we were tired we were already like kind of freaked out by this guy and just wanted to get home so we were like just get one of your on your own we're gonna take this one we're three girls so we got in the car and started to pull away and then sam just like jumps in the front seat and we're like no what like please can we get out of the car like we're just tired like you just want to go home and he just like ignored us as though like he couldn't hear us as though he didn't exist and then he said something to the driver in swedish that we couldn't understand we were like a little panicked but we were like what's going on like where are we going but we're like why is he being so intense and secretive and controlling and so we go for the ride and we're still hoping that either it's gonna be like a short stop or maybe not so far away we also asked the driver like can you take us home first not sure what he can understand but he and sam again completely ignored us it was as though we were like ghosts in the car like hello like what's going on and so when we started getting a little bit louder and he's like hello like please let me get out of the car and we're like oh my god we're like oh my god we're where are we going sam just goes put his hand up with his hand like to silence us and then just goes like shut up oh wow okay he like gestured the driver to also like not respond to us and so now we're getting like really uncomfortable what we do do is call one of james friends who speaks swedish who's awake and we're like here like talk to the driver for us and so we tell him what's going on and he's like immediately like furious he's like give me the driver right now hand their phone to the driver driver talks for a second hangs up nothing he's hanging up and he's like still no response we're still going the wrong way and again they're both just like ignoring us so for the next 20 or so minutes we're just like quiet obviously imagining pretty bad outcomes until we pull into this like dark empty parking lot and sam like jumps out tells us to stay put and disappears so we're just sitting there in the cab in silence the driver starts moving the car like forward and backward abruptly just jolting it forward back forward back and we're just like what we're just like jolting for like what this is like the creepiest like eerie most random thing ever and then he's just like creepily left ew he like locks the car door and we're like no no no like we're not gonna be locked in this car door like sir please unlock the car door and then he just starts locking and unlocking locking and unlocking like the little thing just like up and down up and down and we're like dude what is going on and he's again just starts kind of like laughing like what like are you just trying to scare us or like what is this sam returns gets back in the car without a word and just like told the driver to leave and continued to ignore us on the whole way home like where were we where are we going until eventually they do drop us off so we do make it home and we run inside we're like oh that was weird go to bed and then in the morning we like wake up and we tell james's mom like about our night we're like this is what happened like how weird is this and we told her like the area that we were brought to and her face just goes kind of pale and like freaked out and she's just like i cannot believe that you guys were brought to that area that's the most crime-ridden part of stockholm we call it the murder capital guns are pulled out all the time like we're just so happy that you're okay and and she's like that boy sam who has a childhood close friend is like never allowed in my house ever again and so we don't have too many answers to what happened except the last weird part of that is like the next day or so he starts messaging us on facebook and starts harassing us and demanding that we pay for the drinks from the night before and we're like no dude wow i think sam was an addict i think sam had an addiction yeah i think he needed to stop at the first house to get some then he was really irritable because he needed more by the time he got out of the club get in his own cab we don't know because he probably is broke from being an addict and didn't have any money to pay for a cab i'm guessing i think the weirdest part because we were like no we're not paying for these drinks like we just paid a couple hundred bucks for this terrifying taxi ride yeah and then he just like got super dark like started calling his name using misogynistic slurs all these anti-semitic oh my god stuff that was just terrifying we blocked him what did james have to say about his friend sam did he have any explanation we didn't get any answers james was just freaked out he was like this is crazy like this guy's not my friend anymore made that pretty clear but we had the same conclusion i mean it's more like upon reflection later like okay that's definitely dog related but i think the creepiest part or like the saddest part was just seeing him earlier in the day and how he like transformed beyond the lies just into this like gargoyle monster yeah drug monster yeah so scary yeah and i wonder what he told the cab driver like maybe he would pay him extra like what did he tell him to make him go along with this good question also the cab driver is gonna know what part of town he's asking to go to so why is he willing to go there maybe he wanted a little something something let's this not reflect on stockholm as a city what a beautiful place it was christmas time there's always an adorable christmas market oh cute do you fly or take a train there from barcelona we flew we flew everywhere we made like lots of different thoughts went to like 10 or so countries i think train sounds so much more charming we just didn't have the time we were on student schedule we were like 48 hour trips yeah right wow wow thanks for sharing i'm glad you made it out of there could have been a horrible ending thank you both so much take care bye hey guys hi is this noah this is noah how are you wonderful noah you have a robust head of hair congratulations it's a real accomplishment yeah it is it is as someone who's fighting hourly to keep mine it is it's impressive i think we're in the same boat okay and it's a gorgeous swoop yeah it's got a good shape yeah it's nice thank you that's kind of you to say i appreciate it no where are you i'm in a suburb of boston okay wonderful please let us in on your study abroad i'm just a shade younger than you dax this tour takes place in february of 1994 okay great so this is your graduation year maybe no the year before so i was a junior so you are 93 like me yes okay oh no you were a junior in 94 i'm 95 i'm 95 okay okay okay yeah okay so i studied the russian language sure when i was in high school i had a wonderful russian language i had a wonderful russian language i had a wonderful teacher who happened to have a relationship with a school in northern russia eight hours by train north of moscow this small to mid-sized industrial city called petrozavodsk or pz is what the way you said it was great yes you nailed it does this put you in the arctic circle are you that far north south of finland and i went there in the wintertime it was pretty cold our exchange program it was reciprocal so i had a student come and stay with us in the first semester of the year and then i went and stayed with the students and i went and stayed with the students and i went and stayed with them the second semester of the year so by the time i got there me and this guy were already butts great and really quick when he was at your house we're only five years out of the wall falling at this point right so this is like a probably a new program and are you speaking to each other in russian when you're at your house or english no my russian was so much poorer than his english okay his english was great okay okay sure and it was his ambition at the time to become a doctor so i was like okay i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this so he was a dialed-in student i go to russia in february of 1994 and i live with his family his father is a neurosurgeon wow and this is gonna pique your interest monica i want to tell you something right up front there's gonna be a thing or two about this story that's probably gonna be a little bit bothersome okay yeah but i'm gonna tell it anyway don't tell me yet but i'm just wondering if that means like sexually or if that means like maggots oh yeah but we're gonna find out or the wrong college neither of those things the dad is a neurosurgeon who makes two thousand dollars a year two thousand a year oh my god oh my goodness and the mom is a nurse who makes less than that so it's rough inflation is rampant and we lived in a seventh floor walk-up tenement one bedroom they were a four-person family and i was there too so relative though to other people were they like living high on the hog was that good relative to the non-neurosurgeons okay i think like projects i mean medical professionals i think at that time in that country were paid very poorly there was no communal electricity in the building seventh floor walkout the elevator was broken parents slept on a fold-out couch in the apartment and my friend and i stayed in the bedroom all that is to say things were pretty economically rough at the time yeah so we ended up having a career day i tended to hang out with the russian students i bonded with them more than all the other parts who were there with me at the time but this city pz hadn't had a lot of american tourists so they were like really happy to have us there yeah sure it's exciting yeah you're from the movies at that point kind of yeah and so i go to career day and my host dad sort of shuffles us off i went there with another one of my fellow american students and he sort of says younger surgical staff take care of these guys show them the ropes okay so monica sorry but things are going to get a little bit sideways right now we get a tour of this place and the first patient they take us to see is a woman and they've cut out half of her brain oh okay do you get an explanation for why they did that not really she had a terminal brain injury and the gnarly thing about this is that they didn't put like a prosthetic back into her head they just took the flap of skin and sewed it back onto her head so she was pretty much missing this ah and was it squishy no i didn't touch it but presumably it was sunken in and misshapen i imagine right did it look like like if you touched it it would be squishy i would imagine that it might be a little squishy and it was enormously dented i'm guessing oh yeah it was like they took this entire quarter of her head out so that was a little jarring yeah was she conscious like was it a successful operation she was in a vegetative state the next patient they take us to see his name is ivan and the reason that i remember that is because as you're probably well aware there's a significant booze culture in russia and this guy i think was a bit of a bruiser at the bars sure sure sure so he got into a fight and somebody hit him in the head with a hammer a couple of times oh yeah wow oh yeah i'm remembering now that he's a neurosurgeon okay yeah so you're gonna be brain related horrible head stuff the surgical staff takes me over to see ivan and ivan's pretty banged up he's being held to the bed by bed sheets they tied him down they don't have formal restraints and they have a bed sheet wrapped around his head which is bloody because he got hit in the head with a hammer yeah yeah it's also the kind of bar where people have hammers at their disposal but they keep saying kaktab yazavut ivan kaktab yazavut which means what's your name and he said niznaya niznaya which means i don't know and so they were just fascinated by the fact that this guy couldn't remember his name and as soon as my american counterpart saw this guy she fainted oh straight to the ground like a weak i was kind of nervous too but i just kept talking my way through it sure nervously i mean you're in high school like this is a lot also you've gone everywhere else is in spain and italy eating spaghetti and you're in uh tundra Where people are making $2,000 a year. You guys have already self-selected. You're a specific group. I had a wonderful time. Sure, I can. The people couldn't have been kinder. Yeah, I can tell you're built for it. A few days after that, we go to a discotheque. I was closer with the Russian kids than I was to the American kids. So we're partying at this discotheque. It's very, as is the case with many discotheques, very dark, very loud, a lot going on. You're allowed to drink at that age there, I presume? Nobody really noticed. Yeah, they have bigger things to deal with. One of our friends hasn't shown up yet, and we're looking for Sergei. He's not there yet. About 30 minutes after we arrive, he enters the discotheque, but he sort of lurches in, and he's got his hand on his side. At this time in Russia, the Russian mob is everywhere. And so he comes over to us, and we don't really know. We're dancing, having fun. He says, they got me. Maybe the rest of the Russian kids who I was with already knew that he did this kind of thing, but we're all like, ah, whatever. Sergei, chill out. Just party. With us hanging out. And he says, no, they got me. And he pulls his hand away from his side, and it's red. Your first thought is hammer attack. I know about this. They got you with the sharp end of the hammer. So immediately, I'm like, whoa, hang on a second. We sort of hit pause on everything with our whole group of friends there, and we're like, Sergei, what's going on? What happened? He worked part-time for the Russian mafia in the city, and he mugged people. And gave a portion of the proceeds to the mob every week, and got to keep part for himself. And apparently, either the week prior or maybe this week, he had forgotten to pay them. So they caught him outside of the disco and shanked him in the side. Okay, so they've stabbed him. He's dealing with a stab wound. And he's in high school. He's a 16-year-old boy. Yeah. Okay. But he's tougher than most 30-year-old American men, I'm sure, at this point. Tough as nails, dude. I mean, don't mess with him. So my friend, his dad. His dad is a doctor, right? So he says, okay, we're going to fix this right now. He's been working at the hospital since he was like 12, because Russia. Yeah. This is crazy. So he says, we're going to the hospital right now, and we're going to fix this. The hospital is within walking distance from the discotheque. So we walk to the hospital, and like I mentioned, the electrical grid is a little bit messy. So we kind of quasi-break into his dad's office, and my buddy finds a suture kit, and some antibacterial ointment, and some cloths, and cleans up Sergei's side. Wow. And stitches him up. Wow, sir. That's your dream, Dax. That is kind of my fantasy, yeah. And that's really. We went our separate ways, and I don't think we ever talked about it again when I was there. And presumably this young man recovered. It was a successful. Oh, he was fine. I saw him at school the next day. Oh, my God. School. Like, he's getting stabbed, and then he goes to school the next day. Yeah. I mean, look, I just want to remind people, you do not get to choose where you're born. No, no. And to whom you're born to. Ain't that the truth. It's so important to remember that. The full circle part of this story is that my friend did realize his dream of becoming a neurosurgeon himself. And is one to this day. You're kidding. And you guys have remained friends? It's been difficult. I mean, obviously, things have gone a little bit sideways with Russia. Yes, yes, yes. In recent years. But we were until about 10 years ago. Contact with each other. And in fact, he had a residency at Yale for three weeks. Wow. And he came to visit us. So I took him to New York City, and we hung out for a little while. Oh, that's nice. Fun. It was great. So he's a neurosurgeon in presumably Moscow or something, in a big city, maybe? No, no. He's still in the same city. But now we make more than $2,000. Yes. He has a proper house, and he is supporting his family. And the economics of that area have improved. Yeah. Wowzers. Wild. What a bizarre and wonderful decision you made. Yeah. To go to Russia to study abroad. That's an experience. I actually didn't really want to go, but I went anyway, and it was fantastic. Wow. Oh, boy. Well, Noah, this is a delight. You're a delight. Take care, brother. Okay. Take care, guys. Bye-bye. Bye. What a nice man. On three, who we reminded you of. Okay, hold on. No, you don't have it? I got one. Okay. I'll do one. You got it, Ron? Yeah. You want to join us? Yeah. Three, two, one. Paul Giamatti. No. Yes. Paul Giamatti. Yeah, I can see it. I can see it. It was the voice. If he's listening, it's not that he looked like him. It's just the voice was very Paul Giamatti. He had a similar happy face. He was great. Oh, he was. Well, people are out there. They're studying. I don't know that this prompt made me want to study abroad. It's the best. Anthony could have called in because he pushed me down the stairs during a study abroad. He regrets it. Okay. Intentionally or actually? Kind of. He was trying to save himself. What? We were being chased. By what? Police. Because we tried to get him. What? Yeah. Monica. I know. I know. You're saving so many layers of the onion. I know. You've really paced yourself up nicely. Okay. So you ran from the police in what city? Only a little bit. So we were in Cannes at the Cannes Film Festival and we were dressed up because we were trying to get into all the premieres and we couldn't get into any of the premieres that night. And so we heard that there's two fancy hotels there that the stars stay at. Sure, sure, sure. And so, you know, you kind of want to go and look. You want to look for the stars. And then so we thought, oh, we'll go up to the highest floor you can go to. Yeah. You're the reason they put the key. Exactly. You got to use your key to use the elevator now. Correct. Yeah, yeah. And I don't remember if we happened to be in the elevator with someone who was going up to the top or something. We ended up in the top and wandering and then some police came up there and Anthony freaked out. Okay. He panicked. Just by the vision of seeing them. Yeah. He really felt like he was committing a crime by trespassing. Exactly. He overreacted. Exactly. He overreacted. And then he said, run. Okay. And then I was like, oh, my God, I guess we have to because now he's really making it seem like we've done something horrible. So then we're starting to run and I'm not running fast enough. I'm probably wearing heels and we're running down the stairs and he just pushes me to the side. Oh, wow. Kind of a force majeure situation. He pushes. It was. Yeah. He pushes me to the side. Did he change how you looked at him? He just deserted you. He did. Oh, my goodness. And. He really showed his color. I. Yeah. And then they run past me. Oh, okay. The police. Yeah. Well, now he's made himself look like he's a thief. A suspect. Yes. I know. And then I just. Did he get away? They didn't catch him though. They did not catch him. I just walked on out and then he was just standing there looking like, you know, puppy dog. Uh-huh. He hates this story. Sure. Who wouldn't, you know? He's grown to really hate it. One day, randomly, he was like, oh, my God. I was like, I just want to say I'm sorry about that. I know. I would prefer you stop telling the story. I'm never going to stop. No. You've earned that right to tell that story. All right. Love you. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay. Great. We don't have a theme song for this new show. So here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. I'm a fire rhyme dish, I'm a fire rhyme dish, enjoy.