Armchair Anonymous: Jail

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Randall Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lilly Padman. Hi there. We are lucky that we three don't have a story about this topic. This is, tell us about a time you ended up in jail. Knock on wood. Oh, I'm so glad I never got in jail. I can't believe I've never been in jail. Listen, you have time. All the people we talked to were nicer than me and they ended up in jail. It really was not fair. Yes, yes. Please enjoy times you ended up in jail. We get support from Quince. Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language. Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. 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Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Fondio. He's dapper as hell, if that's him. Could be a magician. Could you hear us? Yes, and I appreciate that. I'm not wearing the same outfit. Oh, yes, dad. Is that photo of you, you? Those are some new headshots. You're not a magician by chance, are you, Monica? No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm not. But hey, real quick, let me address the elephant in the room. Last week, I had an earache, and then, of course, that goes crazy, and it's migrated, and then here we go. I'm sorry. I had a little bit of this. Palsy? Yeah, how'd you know? They said it was super common. Oh, wow. Yeah, Bell's palsy. I've had a couple friends get Bell's palsy. Is that what they said it was? Yeah, not only is it that, but I was in the ER on Friday, and I'm hanging out waiting for the doc, and that's when I get the email, hey, welcome to the show, we're going to have you on. Well, Jordan, you're in great company, because I often do the show with 65 scabs all over my face from my high fricator in 2000, so we let it rip here. Yeah, we're fine. Jordan, where are you in the country? Beautiful, one-time beautiful Austin, Texas. Oh, we love it there. Oh, we sure do. And why do you have a sound booth? I'm a professional. It's the P's F. Sure. Professional. This is why I'm not working. I told my agents, I'm like, I'm not working. I'm a voice and on-camera actor. Okay, great. I have been in a film or two with Ben Affleck. Oh, shit, he's my number one. But he never has palsy, so. I was hoping y'all would interview him when he did the movie Hypnotic, and somebody would bring up the armored guard. Oh, well, that's on him, not on us. If we ever talk to him, we'll circle armored guard, for sure. We would love to have him on. Okay, so you have a going to jail story. So, yeah, I grew up here in Austin, and this took place early to mid-90s, I want to say. I was just going to college, and my best friend at the time, we'll call him Jimmy Gregg. That's close enough to his real name, so he can take credit. And his girlfriend, Leanne, the three of us were like all best friends. And the next day, he was leaving for the Navy. So, it was a big night. A send-off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The rest of us, because I'd never been to college before, and couldn't even believe I'd made it. Yeah. We kind of had a little bit of a punk streak to us, you know, misfits and all that kind of stuff, combats, and, you know, we were that kind of crowd. So, we're out in Austin, and we decided to go off, like you said, the big send-off. We went out with the intent of just going to town, just destroying the world. So, we hit 6th Street. Again, a street would, back then, was much smaller, and, you know, we grew up on 6th Street. So, we hit all the bars, and that's just what you did. You didn't call your friends. Where are you going to be tonight? You just, what night is it? Wednesday? Oh, that's going to be Acropolis, or Sanitarium, or whatever. Yeah. So, we all go out. Everybody's freaking out. You guys are leaving in college, and Japan, and the Navy, and all that. So, it was a big night, and we danced our little hearts out, and it was great. Any drugs involved, or just drinking? No, not so much. Definitely in the scene, but, you know, he had to go to the Navy. Sure, sure, sure, yeah. At some point, the music stops, the dancing stops, because in Austin, 2 o'clock's last call. But we were nowhere near done, of course. So, the three of us go out, and somehow, we get some Everclear and some Gatorade. Which is an old skater trick. When we used to skate half-pipes, that's what you would do when you had no money. So, we got that. One of us is like, dude, to the rooftops. So, we literally started Batman-ing the night. We go up in all the buildings. And again, Austin's different in the 90s than it is today. It's 30% of the size it is now. Yeah. So, you get away from 6th Street, the whole town is just dead. Oh, wow. And this is probably a Tuesday or Wednesday night. So, we had the whole city. And we're literally running around rooftops, and I don't spend a lot of time on rooftops at 2 in the morning. It was very interesting. There's paint cans and tar buckets. Some of the views were unbelievable. Thrilling. So, as we're running around the rooftops and stuff, a couple of weird things happened. The first weird one, we go up some fire escape on a building we knew well, but never been to the top of it. And, you know, I look over, and this is just one of the weird things. There's some, like, sliding glass doors, but it's not like in a wall. Like, if an elevator shaft were to extend up onto the roof, and one of them is a sliding glass door. So, my buddy kind of opens it. It's unlocked. And so, you know, he goes over and sticks his head in. He's like, oh, my gosh. And we're like, what is it? An office building? And he's like, no, it's some dude's game room. Whoa. Okay, you're on a residential rooftop. I guess. Yeah. Again, this is all new to me. So, we run in, and he's got a refrigerator. We don't want to. We're like, oh, okay, let's not get crazy. But there was a couple of beers in there. Okay. It was a game room, you know. So, we're kind of wrapping up, and we decide, you know, we got time for an energy, and our eyes are just open enough for maybe one more fire escape. One more rooftop. We get up the top of this one. It's pretty nice. This one's not beat up and run down. This one's swanky. It's got like a catwalk and stuff. And there's this giant air conditioning units, you know, those 70,000, they're the size of trucks. Yes. And so, we're running around, and we're flipping switches, and it's like, you know, I'm like, this can't be good. But that's what you're looking for is, you know, stupid adventures like that. And there's a skylight. The roof is that rubbery textured stuff. And I fall over, and I. I hit the skylight, you know, and bounce off. And my buddy, who's about to go, you know, Navy and all that, we're punks, and he's like, starts talking shit to the skylight. So, of course, the three of us start beating up the skylight. Okay. Oh. Okay. You've gone rogue. You've gone chimp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full chimp mode. Yeah. We've crossed every line you can think of. We're attacking skylights. Anyway, I get up, and we've actually done a little damage, and one of us might have kicked it, and it might have shattered. Oh, wow. I remember at the time thinking, yeah, I thought those would be a lot tougher. We had a lot of hail here in Texas. So, it shatters, and I fall through it. Oh. Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I caught myself in the corner of it, and I don't know how. I mean, I, like, fell towards the corner of this rectangular skylight and turned, and I just caught myself, and they were dying laughing, and I'm, like, laughing. And I look down, and I'm like, I think I can see desktops and, like, copying machines, like an office. Yeah. Jimmy Gregg says, we've got to wrap it up. He's a bigger dude. And so, he just reaches down and just kind of grabs my jacket. in my shirt and just yanks me out. And he's like, no. get the fuck out of here the sun's coming up so we're all staggering down the catwalk and we go down to the very bottom and the sun is barely starting to come up and we're just like i love you man gonna miss you and leanne love you too and clearly the night's over that's when we hear it you know freeze hands up the whole night so we all yeah it's not the first time that's happened to us but we're just like keep walking um all right and then of course we're like one two three and we take off oh that's bad advice okay oh it gets worse oh great and as we're taking off i look on my left shoulder and he's got his gun drawn and he's he's ready to shoot so we're running we're running and it's just one cop so we of course we know you know we got to go our separate ways just split we'll meet back at the car i pulled down this one alley off not too far from where it was and i throw my hat in the trash i had an over shirt on i untucked my undershirt i had my jeans sucked into my combat boots i had a padlock dock chain necklace i you know did all that threw it all away anything i could do to change up my appearance and then i run and i hide behind a dumpster just hoping that he'll fly by me and i don't even know if the cop was going to come after me jimmy or leanne because he couldn't go after all of us well it was me and i'm tucked away hiding and he immediately runs up and he pulls his gun out right behind me and he's got me up against the wall and he starts yelling at me he's like where have you been you know what are you even doing and i'm like crying panicked freaking out then it hits me i turn my hands up and i'm like dude there are these three fucking punks that just went running around they're fucking with me the two of the dudes started been beating me up and stuff oh wow yeah 100 and i'm like i'm just trying to get back home man i don't know what's going on i mean they roughed me up pretty bad and i had my shirt untucked and i've been partying on i look pretty roughed up and so then he's staring at me for a second he's got his gun drawn and then at the last second he puts his gun away and he's like all right yeah we're looking for their asses too are you okay and i'm like oh yeah i think so so i take off running i go around the corner and i'm just skipping and i'm like this is gonna make this already crazy story even that much more exciting i couldn't wait to tell them when i get back to the car what just happened yes so i get back to the car i'm euphoric that it worked they're not there yet but it is what it is but of course i have to pee beer ever clear whatever i go around the corner to pee in the bushes real quick and as i come back cop car everything they're all standing there and one of the cops has got his gun and he knows my name and everything and they just cuff me up throws me in the back of the cop car leanne's already in the back of the car okay she sang like a bird well he threw them under the bus well but he didn't give any names that's true yeah and she says that jimmy and i saw you get busted and we were up in a parking garage they were fine oh they were like we came down because we didn't want you to have to go through this by yourself oh so that's sweet yeah that's kind yeah that's what i said we all get booked and we get locked up separately jimmy had a really really wealthy stepfather who is very excited about him leaving for the navy the next day so there was no way that guy was not going to bring in the top attorneys and get his kid out of there step kid so i never saw him again i mean oh he was successful at getting out he got out okay great out the next day and so i never got a chance to say goodbye or anything like that years later of course we did but that night no and then there's leanne because they walked her past me too and i'm like you're making it out and she's like yeah her old man she also came from some old money i think he's a scientist in motorola or something so he sprung her pretty quick and i was happy that two of the three of us were out and then there i am kind of hanging out and a lot more time goes by and i'm like what why is mine a guard you know we don't know so i found out later on that the skylight that basically i took the credit it turns out that that skylight wasn't over an office building it was over a six-story atrium of a bank oh boy yeah so not only did they try to pin attempted bank robbery on us oh boy yeah yeah yeah but if i would have let go i would have fallen to my death for sure yes so old jimmy greg saved my life that day wow and what'd you end up getting did they charge you with anything at the end of the day the day yeah that was the end of summer because i was getting ready to go to school all that summer i had gotten a job because my father wanted to teach me about mutual fund investments and so he's like spend this summer raise some money and i'd raise a couple thousand dollars he's like we'll invest it while you're in college and then you can do whatever you want you know as a graduation present i was saving up and investing to get myself a harley for when i graduated well that night obviously all that money was cashed out given to my parents and i still owed them money and i still owe them money and i still owe them money and i still owe them money like 700 bucks but miraculously and i was still 17 i think all charges were dropped i just had to replace the skylight which those are a lot cheaper than you think well you got lucky very and you didn't have to replace the two beers either they didn't come after you for the two beers that's funny because when i got this confirmed with you guys i was writing my notes down and i was like now we have google earth so i went and tried to find it it's still there that weird slide sliding glass window thing wow one of these days i might go in the building and be like what is all this sure go check it out like this coming through the front door for once well jordan be well i wish you a speedy recovery and um you actually made our day by having this condition it'll be very memorable remember if anybody listening gets what's it called again bell's palsy bell's palsy it's only temporary hang in there yeah stay the course all right brother great meeting you bye take care with the spark cash plus card from capital one you earn unlimited two percent cash back on every purchase and you get big purchasing power so your business can spend more and earn more hello hello can you hear us i can hear you guys can you hear me we can hear you but we can't see you okay oh there you are okay i'm here what a shame it would have been not to see you you're so cute that's true look who's talking listen it's a shame we can't use your real name because it's a very cool name we're not you want to see monica isn't that a great name it's a very good name yeah yeah okay so what fake name would you like please choose for me okay i'm gonna go with brandon i was gonna say alex nope although alex i was gonna say chris so we're going we're going with chris chris where are you i am in the southwest i'll keep it a little vague nice sure as you should i mean these are jail stories we should accept the the anonymity yeah yeah not everyone's dying to get those stories out like i would be oh yes you have a cute shirt you have an armchair shirt i'm wearing the swag i couldn't get into a closet so i had to show up with some merch oh it looks so good well we want to come find you in the southwest you're so cute you're in merch okay chris you had a jail experience and for the listener like on first glance judge a book by its cover not what i'm expecting right i would agree and responsible but you just never know who's gonna end up in that jail it can happen to any of us mine takes place in new york city july 2018 i am a fresh college grad just graduated that may and i am going out in manhattan with my three best friends dreaming did you go to college there or you've gone there on a trip i went to college on the east coast and my job is in the city all of our jobs are in the city so we've moved into apartments now and we're starting our life in new york i love this we're 21 22 and as any 21 or 22 year olds would do in new york we go to the lower east side to all of the staple bars where 22 to 25 year olds drink which is a hair of the dog pianos but we end up at mr purple and if you don't know mr purple is a rooftop bar it's on the 14th story of a beautiful lower east side building and it's got great views of the north and south side of manhattan oh sign me up monica was just there i was just there i didn't know about mr purple you gotta get over to mr purple although it sounds a little young like a younger crowd i can't go okay no it's not your vibe we're having a great time three of us are and i see my fourth buddy we're gonna call him patrick he's in the corner behind the outdoor bar so the bartenders can't see him the bouncers can't see him it's pretty secluded i'd make eyes with him though and i bring over four beers two coors lights for me two coors lights for him i ask him what's going on and he's upset about it that he likes that doesn't like him and they're married now good job patrick but he hammers the first beer like in record time and he takes the bottle and he winds up and he throws it across the street the block is about 30 yards i'd say but the building across from us is probably nine stories and so the bottle lands safely on the building across from us shatters what a blessing of solidarity. I obviously had to do the same thing. Sure. Roundup, landed successfully. All is good. Listen, had I not been kicked out of the Milford Plaza Hotel at 10 years old for throwing shit out the window, I would be judgmental. But I am not in a place to judge. Everyone was drinking, but it is very dangerous. Yes, we can judge. I've told the story many times and I've omitted the fact that I also threw. Oh, good for you. Yeah, well, good. We're not judging you. We applaud your honesty. I judge myself. So Patrick hammers the second beer and he winds up doing the same thing, but he slips and the bottle goes straight 14 stories down towards a busy block in Manhattan. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It lands about five feet from the bouncer at the bar across the street. We're looking down at this guy. We're 14 stories away, but in my memory, it's like I could see his face. And he can't idea. But he sprints across the street right to Mr. Purple. He asks for Mr. Purple. I need to speak to Mr. Purple immediately. Not Mrs. Purple. I need Mr. Purple right now. I look at Patrick. I'm like, it's time to mobilize. We find our two other friends within like a minute. But by the time we were heading towards the door, the bouncer is waiting for us. The biggest bouncer I've ever seen. And he's grabbing Patrick by the collar. And now he is escorting us to the sidewalk. When we get down there, it's him. It's the bouncer from across the street. And then there's two undercover cops that showed up. They're all really cops that are off duty or on duty in the bouncer scene in this area. And they're huddled and they're talking about what to do with Patrick. I'm not in trouble for some reason. But Patrick is because he threw a bottle at another bouncer. And while they're huddled, I hit Patrick on the side of the arm. I look at my other two friends and I say, on three, we're going to make a run for it. Guys, why are you guys always doing this? I can't judge. I've done some running. Jesus, no. And this is Anthony, too, running from him. Why do people run? You got to get out of there. You're in denial. If I just vanish, this didn't happen. Oh, my God. Okay. They all nod their heads. And I say, one, two, three, and we disperse. And at the end of the block, I get to the end of the block. I look back and all of us are dispersed except for Patrick. He's so hammered that he really hasn't moved a muscle. He's just standing in place. He's really upset about the girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still dealing with that. Oh, my God, Patrick. Kind of wants to be in jail to suffer, maybe. So, I start walking back. I'm not going to abandon Patrick. Oh, nice. While I'm walking back, one of the undercover cops just tackles me to the ground. Oh, wow. I hit the pavement pretty hard. And then he rips me up by, I had a beautiful blue polo that I loved and just ripped it in half right off my body, basically. Oh, Jesus. Took me by my hands and started to. Started escorting me back to where Patrick is. He takes one look at Patrick when we get there and he says, let that one go. We're taking this one. And he throws me in the back of his car. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Okay. Do you think he just liked your shirtless body? Oh, he wanted to see you shirtless? He wanted to see you shirtless and was like, oh, yeah, I like this one. Well, let's rip his off, too, and then send him on his way. We'll decide. Yeah. So, now we are in an undercover cop car and we're on our way to what I find out is a booking unit. It's a single cell and they take my phone, my wallet, my keys, my inhaler. Those are the four things I always have on me. They throw me in the cell. I'm alone, just kind of in my own thoughts, thinking about how I just jeopardized my career. I'm like doing push-ups intermittently for some reason. You've seen that on TV. Are you shirtless at this point? I'm shirtless. They take my mugshot, 30 minutes go by, and two new cops, actually uniformed, come and they're like, hey, we're going to escort you to a new facility, the Manhattan. No, I'm not in criminal court. And that's where you'll spend the night. So, they put me in their car. I'm handcuffed again in the back of their vehicle. I'm so sorry to beat a dead horse, but have they given you a shirt? No shirt. Dumping you into Gen Pop is dangerous, but continue. Oh, no. They throw me in the back. We're pulling out of the parking lot and onto what I could only imagine is like the East Side Highway of New York and lower Manhattan. And we hear this, da-dump, da-dump, and we look behind us and something falls off the back of the car. And the cops pull over to the side of the road and they get out and start picking up something. I'm like in my handcuffs looking back and forth. I can't really see them. And they come back with my phone, my wallet, my keys. My phone is shattered. Oh, no. My keys are fine. But my inhaler, I have asthma, has been run over. Oh, no. And it's now unusable. Oh, no. Oh, does that give you an immediate asthma attack? Just knowing you don't have it? I feel like that would. The anxiety of it. Yeah, it does inspire. But I'm fine at this point. But they ask, do you need an inhaler? And I say, yes. I don't know where we're going, but if anybody has a cat or a dog, I'm going to be in bad shape. So they drive. Now we're deviating towards a hospital. We go into the back of a Manhattan hospital where there's a bunch of other detainees or inmates. Everybody's chained to some sort of apparatus, these like bars on hospital walls. There's no folks that aren't in trouble in this section. Yes. They get my inhaler. They throw me back in their car. And they're kind of huddled up just chatting amongst themselves. I think talking about how they're going to tell this story to their boss about the deviation that we had to take. And they come to open the door and it's locked on the passenger side. And then they come around to the driver's side and it's locked. And they've locked themselves out of the cop car. And you're in the back. And I'm in the back. This is a real keystone. These guys do not know what they're doing. This is a bunch of rookies or something. So I'm handcuffed and a light bulb goes off. I see my moment to get out of this whole thing. I am like, if I can unlock this car and get these guys out of trouble, I am like so free. And so I am handcuffed. I take my shoe off with my other foot. Between me and the front seat, there's plexiglass and a little square opening. Yes. I maneuver my body to get my right. Leg through that opening. Oh, my God. And with my big toe, I'm able to reach and flip the lock of the door. Oh, my gosh. You're like a trained gymnast or something. Not at all. The will of the moment. The cops get in. They're ecstatic. I'm like, all right, fellas, let's lose the handcuffs. Yeah. Oh, you did. You already went into sales mode. Right. Let's get on a first name basis here. Yeah. That didn't work. Was it Glenn? No. I don't know where you got that name. It's Sergeant. Riley. So we carry on. They take me to the next location, which is the Manhattan Criminal Court. Below the court is something that's called the tombs. It's where all of the cellmates, inmates for the evening reside as they wait for the judge to show up in the morning. And it's really early still, probably like 1030. I'm the fifth person there. I am still shirtless. They never shirted me up. And it's very cold stuff. Forty seven degrees. So that nothing grows. No bacteria. We have three guys who were pulled over for the intent to sell prescription drugs who decided to take as many as they could before they got arrested to try to reduce their sentencing. Oh, my God. They're falling out. There's an older gentleman who is like a pro. Every cop knows his name. He's clearly been in there like every weekend. Yeah. For the past 10 years. So it's us five to start. And I'm thinking this isn't so bad. The guys that took the prescription drugs are starting to feel it. They're peeing all over the place, kind of passing out. Oh, my God. The old guy pulls out some weed from his coat pocket. Get up. Get out of here. Wow. The three guys take that from him forcefully pretty quickly. They smash out the light above us and they start trying to smoke it. It's not coming to fruition in any form or fashion. But that was the start. And I thought this isn't going to be so bad. But soon realized that more folks were coming in. And in about two hours, we had about 200 guys down there. Oh, Lord. Stop. Oh, my God. So it's just a revolving door of bozos coming in. It's a revolving door that goes one way. Nobody's going out. I am shirtless. I quickly pick up the name Ken Doll. Then a few events transpired throughout the evening. I was okay for the most part. Dax, I think you'd appreciate this. One of the rambunctious cellmates of mine kept trying to fight one of the correctional officers. Oh. I was really letting him have it. And the correctional officer at one point, I thought this was kind of a Dax move, took off his gun, put it down, opened it. He opened the cell door and said, if you want it so bad, come and get it. Let's party. Yeah. It's party time. The guy just put his head down and he sat down. Perfect. And the other things that happened were they handed out food, which I didn't get. Everybody just started taking advantage of me right away. But they took my sandwich and my apple. Oh, no. Oh, now Monica wants to protect you. This is so sad. Still shirtless. You didn't even do anything. I hope you keep remembering he's shirtless, though. You, I know, will not let us forget. I want you to also keep remembering. But why? - Wow, that's just unfair. run i wish you hadn't done well so they take the sandwich they use it as a pillow the apple is actually kind of innovative they used it to pass quarters back and forth between the cells you stick the quarters in the apple and you can send like 15 from one cell to the next so that other guys can make calls oh that's nice you can also get your credit card though to make calls so i asked for mine which was apprehended from me quickly by another cellmate and about 20 guys used my credit card to make calls i waited in line you got bullied you got bullied by the time that i did get to the phone i remembered three numbers my mom and my dad and my ex-girlfriend so i called them in that order my mom and my dad did not answer my ex-girlfriend did she took a collect call from new york state and i pleaded with her to just get in touch with my family to i don't know even what to do try to get me out of this yeah and because she's an angel she did that and i got in touch with my uncle later that night because of the calls that she made the next day they chain gained us up to the judge i was the first in or one of the first five i was the last out oh and he sentenced me to six months probation non-reporting and i didn't break it so it's all off my record oh wow you just had to plead guilty in that moment is that what you had to do they give you a lawyer about five minutes before you see the judge yeah are you shirtless when you're in front of the judge they gave me a shirt thank god dignity yeah what pissed me off was like you had this shirt the whole time and you had to wait till i saw the judge just six months probation and no record six months probation no record what did your buddy buy you to thank you for taking the fucking rap for him he was at home in bed kind of curled up in a ball thinking about his girlfriend nothing could take his mind off of that girl the funniest part or maybe the most cosmetic is that girlfriend that i called who was an ex we rekindled after and we've now been married everyone got what they wanted i got jail you got me cute this is lovely i could tell by the way you were talking about her she's still around you could yeah that angel great to meet you yes great job chris thanks for letting me tell my story yes it was a pleasure take care bye i love it when men wear our shirts men wear our shirts wear our shirts where are our shirts can't find our shirts it's got ripped oh yeah wow shirtless that was a real dangerous move yeah they shouldn't have done they should not and people were sleeping on his sandwich they made it a pillow that feels like a real fuck you because it's not like that's really helping now yeah it's not really cushioning your head a new york city jail sandwich i bet it was a piece of cheese cheese i'm sure it was hello hello can you hear us can hello how are you is this erica this is yeah where are you i'm in denver okay and are you from denver or did you relocate there originally i'm from oregon oh okay moved to denver in first grade so i guess i'm kind of from here yeah yeah first grade that's quick in definitely and um was that what year you got first grade no i was 21 oh good age for that perfect age tell us all about it okay so i just want to preface this with the fact that i'm a sober alcoholic i've been sober thank you on november 29th it'll be 16 years 16 years get it girl good job yeah on the day this happened i had been drinking an excessive amount when i say excessive i probably had a pint of picardy a six pack of beer and two red bull vodkas wow okay that's a good that's a good base that's a fair amount it was a lot yeah and you're 21 and it was the 4th of july oh yeah we're asking for it so some of my sorority sisters and i were living in an off-campus house at our school because we were all up there working for the summer and during this day we had been to the pool i mean we had done undergrad activity that night we decided it would be a really good time to shoot mortars off of the pool and we were like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna the firework type of mortars yeah we had driven to wyoming to get fireworks because they're not illegal there yeah they have the good stuff there yeah so we had a bunch of mortars we were lighting them off and i'm sure this attracted police attention to our area so it was about two three in the morning myself and five of my friends decided we were all going to light off roman candles at the same time okay yeah we all get together put our wicks in the center flick the lighter and mine is the only one that lit okay and it's pointed directly at your friend because you've put them in a circle well correct yeah so everyone bailed okay circle yeah and i'm like firing these fireworks off everywhere the end of the alley there's a side street and it was one of the main side streets in our town and fort collins colorado by the way is where i was at csu so our alleyway backed up to this main side street and i was shooting it down into the street this roman candle and a police car slowly rolls by and one of the projectiles tanks up the driver's side window oh that could put you into like felony territory i think yeah we just escalated yeah yes yeah so all of a sudden there are five police officers surrounding me i have no idea where they came from like i said i think we were attracting police attention because we were being idiots and throwing mortars off around like really old wooden buildings too in a dry climate yeah oh god and fireworks completely illegal i think the only thing you could do that year were sparklers because it was so dry in the fire yeah it was so high yeah the little projectile out of the roman candle tinks off the driver's side window of this police car and i just freeze pretty stunned as to what just happened there's five police officers all of a sudden coming at my back and they're screaming at me to drop the firework meanwhile there's a police officer coming toward me from the front and i was gonna hit him if i dropped the firework oh yeah i decide to throw it oh okay okay i throw it it hits him oh my goodness no oh my god really now it looks like you are attacking the police yeah it spirals out and just starts wildly shooting roman candles so now everyone's on the ground oh officers myself the 25 people that were back in the alley partying with us we're all on the ground no one was injured thank god but i was arrested and i was trying to reason with the police officer that it was the fourth of july sure sure sure what do you expect there's an exemption on fourth of july also like you are the definition of getting caught red-handed oh wow oh yeah yeah i'm trying to reason with him telling him it's the fourth and he's like it's 3 a.m it's the fifth oh he put me in the back of the police car i sat in jail overnight was bailed out by my mom the next day who could not quite wrap her head around what i had done was she used to you getting in trouble at this point or was this new this was new i had never been in trouble i'm a lawyer oh okay great it was a nightmare i was arrested for reckless endangerment endangerment of a police officer the endangerment of a police officer was dropped and i just had to go to a bunch of classes oh like don't drink classes yeah like don't drink and don't shoot off fireworks that feels like a one hour course max anyone teach a course on fireworks in here and then they dropped the reckless endangerment off my record which thank god because my husband and i have an adopted son and we want to be able to do that because whether that had been a felony i imagine yeah and not a good one to have on your record either oh no it's not not when you're trying to pass the bar and do all that and i get a baby yeah so you know when i told my in-laws that i was going on this podcast they were laughing and they were like you control anyone in our family and we'd all have stories okay good you're in good company you've landed in the right family yeah i landed in a family filled with sober alcoholics oh great we've all had there'll be some stories some dust-ups yeah yeah for sure well erica it's a delight to meet you on i'm always so happy when i see that someone who shouldn't have made it made it yeah and thank you for talking about addiction and alcoholism openly oh it makes it less shameful for the rest of us well thanks for chatting with us yeah thank you for having me by the way dax you met my husband once and you called him hot and that really made his day oh god he asked you a question at the live podcast when monica was a guest oh denver yes when she was a little tipsy on stage well i was i was doing great you didn't get arrested that night that's true yeah yeah and you had this really drunk lady dancing on him and he was trying to ask a question i don't remember this oh my gosh you called him hot and that really made his day oh god i stand by it i stand by it he's obviously hot well tell him we say hello okay we'll do all right take care bye bye be careful out there don't go to jail well not one of the stories sounded fun yeah can you even believe i've never spent the night in jail the amount of luck i have this is insane it is shocking oh would these people have been no every one of these people didn't deserve to go well maybe erica they need to get her off the streets that was god knows what else was coming after the mortars uh they might have got her just in time before she set a building on fire i mean i also think our first guy he was wreaking some havoc yeah he was he's not he deserves some moments there yeah uh all right love you do you want to sing a tune or something we don't have a theme song for this new show so here i go go go we're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries we'll get some suggestions on the flyer ryan on the flyer we are supported by allstate checking allstate first could save you 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