Ari Shaffir's Epic Journey: The Day I Left w/Guest Host Ari Matti | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

♪ Where you been and where you goin' ♪ ♪ This is our Reese Travel Show, yeah ♪ ♪ We're gonna talk about travel today ♪ ♪ It's you be trippin' yeah ♪ - Welcome to "You Be Trippin' Everybody." This is a travel podcast. Every week I go to a different place, pretty much. Once in a while we do a theme episode. My guest interviewer today. - Go host. - You're host. - You're official. - I host it. - There's no more Tom Sigour on "Burt." - Yeah, I'm the unfortunate double. - This is mine now. - The double heart attack having happened just last week. - Yeah. - "Burt's" obviously from "Fatness," Tom from "Noverdose" in "Iowaska" and they both go on long with the kings and we're back. - We're back. - R.A. Squared. So I'm taking this trip. That's what we're gonna do this episode. I'm taking this backpacking trip. R.E. has been on this podcast before. He did a visa's episode. So this is gonna be a two-parter. I'm planning this backpacking trip. Would you've done on a larger scale? - No, we've both backpacked through the same locations. I haven't done Latin America either, like properly. - Yeah. So I'm doing this. Let's talk about what I wanna do is talk about what I'm planning and then we'll do another one I get back. Let's talk about kind of what happened. - Wait, give me a bit of parameters. Everyone's telling me different stories. One guy's telling me there, you're gonna be for 10 years in Guatemala. - 10 years in Guatemala, okay. - Like tell me the timeframe. - Well, what else do people say? - Let's see here, but let's see. - Oh yeah, I was telling him about before we started the camera's massive side beds. New York is super skeptical scene. They think you're back by the end of the summer. Like people are super skeptical. - By the end of the summer. - Yeah. Then there's over as others on whether you visit for a second or side beds, you know. That's what I'm banking on. I don't think you'll break. I believe in you. - What's I'm gone, I'm gone. Well, I mean on this, on the backpacking trip? I don't wanna come back in the middle. - Okay, so what's the timeframe? So I've heard different stories. - What have you heard? - Like till, well yeah, it's like one year and then you're moving to London to start an art degree. Then I've heard one about, you're gonna start a new festival in Dublin, Ireland. Yeah, then I heard a DMT clinic in Lake Atilante, Guatemala. - Lake Atilante, what do you call it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Atilante, what are the fuck? - I'm going till late February, early March, backpacking through South America. - See, that's what I'm saying. You're gonna do that. That's not even a year. That's literally like seven months. - Seven, eight months. - Yeah. - Which to be fair, in terms of like show businesses, just like any other job that, you know, it's not a lot of people can just take seven months off. So it is a risk. So that's why the skepticism is it wasn't it? - Yeah, when you talk to people who are like, what do you mean, you can't go more than a week? What do you do for, and so they can't even comprehend it. You can comprehend it. - Yeah, but I also have that it's like even for me, whenever I travel, like every year I do this, where I go next summer, four months in Brazil. I'll do jujitsu and I'll only speak Portuguese, you know? That's my, but then you start doing gigs and stand up, it always. - Yeah, life, you ever see revolutionary road? - Never. - The most depressing movie I've ever seen. It's about just like lost dreams and like not, always wanted to move to Paris, never got there. I got a promotion maybe next week, a little to next year, we've got to do this and then it just doesn't come to fruition. And it's so sad, it's your life, just go away. - But tell me about this, the-- - I met the guy who, Sam Endes, who is it? I met the director on an interview once. I'm an audition and he was like, I'm like, wait, I know your name, what have you done? And he said, I'm like, oh bro, you sent me into a five year depression. Like legitimately wanted to kill myself, 'cause of you. - Although the movie makes you want to kill yourself. - Is it Sam Endes? Who did revolutionary road? Okay, so what, so go ahead, what were you saying? - I don't know. - Okay, so this is the trip. - Okay, oh, oh, so, seven months I get it, but they each shall stand, I don't know, maybe for-- - No, it's hard, it's hard at the time. It's hard to carve out the time, for sure. But like, you can carve it out. - 100%, and I do get, dude, when you start telling me this plan, I started planning shit, I'm excited. 'Cause I don't have to go to the map until I reference it. Well, by the way, BTW. - I totally wanna do shit like this too. And Latin America just was the next plan for me too. And just before we started it, recording all the places to go first. In Latin America, we're all going to the same town. - That's where I'm gonna start. - It's so funny. - So my thought was, I wanna do, I'm kind of a hippie, I was gonna do solstice to solstice. You know what solstice is? - Like a. - Get there, get there with your words. - It's like, solstice is like, midsummer to midsummer. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the longest day of the year. - Exactly. - Okay, so now you can go to the map. - Huge in Estonia by the way. - So I wanna do this, the highest point. - Fuck, is that? - In North America. Uquiyagvic. Also known as Barrow. - Oh, so Barrow. - Also known as Alaska. - What? 24 hours of sunlight. - Yeah. - Did that already. - That's in Estonia and Finland too. It just happened. - Did they have it 24 hours though? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have a, it's midsummer, yeah. - Does it, how high does it get? Is it the same? - No, we're not that high. - It's close to look. - It is, I don't know what we have. That's what I'm talking about, yeah. - Yeah, oh. - I'll do that next year. - And then I grew up in Northern Finland where there's a month of that, you know. - Wow. - That's what people go insane. - People go insane. - I get it, there's a lot of insanity here in Austin. - Okay, and then I wanna go all the way to the tip here. - What? - So this is six months? - Well, yeah, but I have to skip some. - What? - Well, I'm skipping all of Canada. I'm skipping all of United States. - And then I can see a tunnel in the middle. Okay, here we go. This is where the plan starts falling apart. - No. - I mean, I'm, okay, so. - This is what the comedians are talking about now. - Okay, all right, yeah. - Correct me anywhere. So this is where I'm starting. This is where I wanna start. - And-- - Oaxaca. - Nier Oaxaca, but in this bay of beaches, called Watuka. - So you wanna go to Puerto Escondido. - Pluraceneros is the tourist spot. - It is. - So I don't wanna do that. - So you wanna do that Metzcal or whatever the fuck. - Oh, Zipolita, yeah. - Zipolita. - Okay. - There's this Masunta. - Yeah, Masunta is the one I thought. - Is it with a nudist? - I think the other one is the one with the nudist. - Play Zipolita. So these are all like bays. - Yeah, that's where I'm going. - Yeah, there's a bunch of them. There's also an airport right here. - Watuka. - Watuka airport. Yeah, so I'm gonna fly there. All these like 20 minutes away. I don't know how you get when you land in a foreign place. I get scared. - What do you mean? - The outsiders, like they're gonna rob me or like hustle me or whatever. Until I get to my hotel and like get set and then like let me take a walk around. First day I'm like frightened. I don't wanna land somewhere at night. - Is it like an American thing that they all tell you how the outside world is trying to kill you, get you and everything? - Yeah. - It is, by the way. I've known a lot of people that the Americans, the first time they leave somewhere, they literally think it's like fucking, like some fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where it goes into fucking Colombia. Collateral? - Collateral? - Collateral, you know? - Collateral. Collateral. - Collateral. - Collateral. - Collateral. - You've gotta blow up a fucking. - Anyway, it's like around there. So I wanna just go to one of these beaches. - Yeah, fuck yeah. - Just, here's my plan. - Go to the nudist one and show me. - I'll go to the nudist one for sure. 'Cause dude, listen, everyone is turned on by nudity but no one's seen balls like mine. So it shocks them. They're already going like, I'm gonna see some, you have a range of what you expect, you know? And then you see these fucking clackers, these knee clackers. And they're like, what? - Uh-huh. - Yeah, I try to mix it up and show people. - Yeah. Yeah, that's the plan. I'll start there. - That's so fun. You know what, I've been researching for the best. - That's so funny. That's one of the places you think it got. - Out of all the places, yeah. - Wow. So that book vagabonding up there? - He talks about it when you start traveling. He said, he says, "Get thee to a beach." And I never done it before, but that's what I wanna do. So what do you, say it again? - Get to a beach. - Yeah, oh dude, that's all you want. - Why? - I don't know, I'm a big ocean guy myself too. - I think just for the relaxing feel, just for like the lack of time. - I'm gonna clear my head of all the responsibilities here and all the fucking, I gotta do this, I gotta do that at a time. Like move, move, you gotta move, you gotta move, pacing. - The last break I took was maybe three years ago, I took three months in Thailand and bro, something went awry. - Oh, this? - Yeah, that's the one. - This is the airport, yeah. - I just couldn't stop thinking about stand-up. So, and I was just stressed. - What do you mean? - I don't know, I went for like three months, I was maybe I lasted for two months, I did like a month in Thailand and then a month in fucking Australia. - When was this? - Just like three years ago, that was my last like, like one that I did like that where I'm just planning. - And how long did it take you to feel like disconnected? - There were stretches, it just keeps coming, it's, it goes in and out, you know? - Yeah. - And it was just hard. I also did a dramatic mistake of like having all these devices near me, you know, I would still say a nice resource that had Wi-Fi, I would make it convenient. I didn't take enough chances, you know? - Yeah. - Okay, so that's what I'm doing. Get a new phone, dude. But Mexico's the nice start, nice beats relax, lower the blood pressure, breathe some ocean air, get a nice fucking Mexican torta, bring you a little corona. Yeah, you're on the beach. - That's America's, what do you know? - Sports club. - No. - No, it's like a random and submiss print. - Yeah, that's a fucking scam. They're like, "Yeah, we're here. Come check us out." - I'm got it, I'm got it. - Come get us. - Oh, no pictures, sorry. - One review. One review sports class. - This place may be close. - Oh yeah, I can confirm that. - They're literally selling organs and children. - So you get a nice beer. You get maybe a taco that's not the most ethnic taco, but they'll meet you halfway, it'll be a little westernized. - But this isn't, listen, there's one place down here that's for tourists and there's like eight places that is not for tourists. - We're talking about you're going to Latin America. You're going to do the jungle in Colombia. So this is what we're referring to. I'm saying, this is a nice crossover from a white western, so you need that. That's a great idea. I love that, I do that too. Like if I go to, like when I went to fucking, all of those towns near Tulum, you know, just to fucking visit those, I did that same. You go to can't go in for two days, just to relax. - Yeah. - You know. Hey guys, Brick and Indus today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest Ari Matty. He is a non-citizen and I believe should be deported. All of his friends voted for Donald Trump in order to get him deported as a great prank and so far, Trump is not followed through in his promise with Ari Matty, so he's still here. And he's in Brookfield, Wisconsin this weekend. March 19th through the 21st, then Brea, California at the improv headliner. Look at this guy with his website, it's still sucks. I forgot if this is number four. He is the worst headliner. Oh, because he has killers of Keltoni. Just put your dates, idiot. El Paso, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Colorado, Nashville, Tennessee, West Hollywood, California at the comedy store, and Austin, Texas at the comedy mothership. Well, he's a headliner, apparently. Get all tickets at AriMatty.com, ARI. It's just like my name, M-A-T-T-I dot com. Oh, and then La Jolla, California. Well, okay. He's also on Instagram at AriMatty Comedy. Follow him on there as he makes his journey back to wherever the fuck country is. Once Donald Trump gets off his goddamn ass and gets rid of this guy. So I can be back as the number one Ari in comedy. That's it, guys. I'm about to leave. Let's get back to the episode. Me and my incredible kind of nerve-wracking journey into the South. Let's go. Yeah, when I started at Myanmar, I was like, hotel one night, and then like, now let me go host those. Exactly. But let me get in, let me get safe. Okay, make my bed, whatever. And then like cool. So what I think I'm going to do is, this is the only one I'm going to get ahead of time, a hotel waiting for me for five days. Not a crazy, nice one, but a nice one. That's exactly what I'm doing. And so I can land and say, I'm going to this hotel, it's already set, put my bag down, it's not like, oh, you fall or whatever. Dude, when you land at the airport, and someone's waiting for you like this. Oh, no. Some little Mexican guy with a sign. You watch all the other tourists, they're all, you know. 'Cause it's all scams, you know? Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Master. Oh yeah, Mr. Mr. Mr. You the death. All these tourists, you know? Oh, yeah. 'Cause you don't know what is a scam, what is not Mr. Now drive Mr. Oh, don't Mr. go into a fucking van, they go straight, sell your organs in the face. You know what I'll do sometimes? You know I'll do sometimes when the airplane gets off, everybody goes and then goes out the double doors into the Mr. Measters. I'll stay inside and I'll wait for a while. I'll let them all blow out. And then they're all gone, no plane just landed. I'm waiting there for 35, 40 minutes. They all clear out, now I'm clean of the Measters. Now come out. But you know what happens now all the time. No, I don't know what that is. So what happens is you go fuck some for Mr. Measters, you go fuck you, you act like you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm doing here. And then 45 minutes I go, Mr. and I go back then. Hey, are you the Mr. Guy? Yeah, I really actually do need a cab. I've had that so many times, I had that happen in Cancun where I'm like $100 downtown. Get the fuck, get the fuck out of my way. And then you can't exit the airport. There's like a closed area in Cancun where they don't let you out. And they're like, oh no, it's $100. No, no, they're like, yeah, this is, 'cause that's how, that's the system. Fuck. Anyway, so I'm gonna go there for, I decided until I feel relaxed. How do you see a hotel of Google? I've got one to it. It's a nice, the Barcelo Hotel. Over here. It is, oh, you mean down there, okay. I don't know. I've Google that Barcelo Hotel. Barcelo. 'Cause it's so close to the fucking, you get straight there, look at that. Yeah, look, you can, right from here. Mm-hmm. Wait, and then there's a second airport. That's kind of small. Yeah, this one is like with a propeller and it's actually, they sell your organs. So it's this one. And so you can go down through here or you can go around through there. So the Barcelo, and you have right there, you have this like nature area, which is also cool. Anyway, whatever. I'm gonna stay there. I'm not looking to see anything or do anything. You know that thing that Americans have of like, or what should we do on this trip? I wanna rid myself of that. I've never been that. You're not a man. It gives me so much fucking anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. But I do plan a little like, I just love looking at vibes. Yeah, you wanna see what's available. Should I want to do this? Yeah. But not like, I made a reservation at this restaurant. I made snorkeling reservations for this time. I don't wanna let you. But you never really know, you know. Sometimes people like, even with, even with the Kain Kuhn, I don't remember people like, that's the most touristy place ever. But I went like an hour out then. Shoot. To the cenotes. Yeah, so you never know. Anyway, okay, so you land here. So what's the plan next? So then, from there, I'm gonna go into Oaxaca. Once I feel relaxed between three and 15 days, I don't know. With the new highway. I heard about this place. Oh, no, somebody told me about that. So here's what I've been doing. So you mentioned the dots on the map, right? You made, I did mention the dots on the map. Before we started. Here's why I have those. Every time I've talked to anyone in the last two years, once I knew I was doing this trip, from anywhere there, I say, give me a recommendation. Give me your favorite bar in your town. Okay. Give me a fucking cool hike. Okay. 'Cause everybody's like, well, Buenos Aires. I'm like, I know. I know. Are you from there? What's your favorite bar? And they go, oh, this place has a Tuesdays, where they have a two-margarita Tuesdays. I'm like, okay, I'll mark that down. And so if I'm anywhere near it, then I can try to find it. Uh-huh. So this is my first place, San Jose de Pacifico. It's kind of where mushrooms were like kind of made popular in Latin America. That's on the way into Oaxaca. Yeah, Oaxaca has been super, like, the new hotspot amongst backpackers too. Really? Yeah, because it's like a very, the architecture, it's agriculture, it's super safe. There's no cartels. Yeah, I skip all the, I mean, Mexico City's all the way up here, but the cartel should, it's way up here. It is, yeah. So it's like, I don't want to go, I don't want to do that, and I want to be able to, you know, whatever. So tell me about, okay, so I-- So Oaxaca ended Chiapas, which I've only heard from in Guatemala, everyone's like Chiapas was the best, most fun place. Really? That's what they all were saying in Guatemala. Wow, okay, okay, okay. And then over, and then over into Guatemala. Uh. And then I don't know. Uh. Maybe Belize, maybe El Salvador. But in Guatemala, are you going to that lake at the Lante de Volcano thing? Yeah, I'll go back there, I've been there. I'm such a retard, I planned a trip there, but I had the same thing I had to cancel. And my friend that I was supposed to meet there went on such a piece of shit. He's like also a backpacking guy, you know? And we both planned, and he was there for three weeks on my recommendation, and he said it was magical. Just like I knew it was. Yeah. I've heard such a, that the volcano has magical energy. I've heard like that the community there is cool. It's hipsters. There's a lot. Yeah. Where's Oztitlan here? Uh. Yeah. There's all these different, whatever you want. So there's high level like influencers. I did learn. Yeah. So you can say it. Any of these things. Any of these things. And by the way, it takes like hours to get across. Yeah. It's not just a little lake. It is massive. It's massive. It's massive. Yeah. It's super beautiful. And also Guatemala City. I've heard it even. Cool. It's a great clear of it. Yeah. I heard it was dangerous. So it's like. I guess. I guess. I guess. Um. That's like the American dangerous, you know? Yeah. No, they were like Guatemala. So he's like being sitting out of there and teagot. They're like this one region. It's okay. The rest are like gangy. I don't know. Maybe. You'll join a gang. Yeah. Like, why a kill is like dangerous? In Ecuador. There's just a couple cities that are like shitty. So Guatemala also interest me. You know what else really interests me? Tell me if this is in your plan. Buenos Aires. Oh, yeah. I'm a super big Buenos Aires guy. I make you see a racist in Buenos Aires. So you know, if that's even like an option, you know that's like a thing you have to do now. They're playing Buenos Aires. They're playing São Paulo and they're playing. São Paulo would be crazy too. Yeah. And they're playing somewhere in Chile. Santiago. I want to see even one of those spots. Oh. Chile. I've heard it's awesome to us to work with a lot of Chileans. They were super cool. Also, uh, Argentinians. I used to work in Australia a lot. And they started showing me pictures of Buenos Aires, the parties. I remember I got really fascinated. The cycling there is big. Yeah. So here's what I'm going to do that I haven't really done before. Before when I went like Asia, when I met you. Uh-huh. It was hostile life. It was backpack alive. I was playing pretend or whatever. But here, I'm like, I'll definitely do a lot of hostels. But also, if I feel like staying in Buenos Aires and like going to a nice restaurant, I'm just gone. Moral. I'm going to like do nice things. If it's like, you know, I'm not going to do the $15 a day stuff. No, that backpacking shit. That's over for me too. Like in some sense that I also, yeah, there's amazing restaurants, cuisine. And if you can afford it, of course, take the experience, take the fucking rides. If you meet some, you know, sometimes people say like tour guides are hacked. But if you find that guy that's recommended. Yeah. Like I went to when I went to Tulum. Do I have a friend there? Who lived there for nine years and he goes contact this number, you know, you just contact him And it's a guy who gives you a quad bike, you know, ATV and we go to a cenote that's like three hours away It was like magical so it was also pricey, but if you have that option, there's nothing bad with that Same thing with hotels and restaurants absolutely dude the wine you're gonna have. I don't know if you're a big wine guy Oh, I'm endosa, right? What? Yeah, oh the whole day. Oh my God. I'm pretty excited about it. Sheila has amazing wine Are you going to look whoo-roo-roo or something? First country to legalize weed. No really ever yeah, really apparently it's backfire politically But so here's what I was thinking about Uruguay So I got to be down here for the solstice right in the December and then come back up There's a carnival they have all these different carnivals and they have a real low-level one in Uruguay In February, which is like more family oriented. I'd like that, but chill chill. I love chill. Yeah, and I kind of want to maybe do that So I'll definitely go to Uruguay. I've heard better things about it. Oh, I heard about this some guy outside the cellar told me about this place Tell me I marked is one of the first places. I'm on Paloma. No Cabapillonia. What the fuck is this? It is it is a hamlet. It has no Palonia has no roads leading to it Yeah, it said it gets no electricity What yeah, I love this wow now now this is what we're talking about. Yeah No electricity. Just a few places And you can just get oh my god, what wild horses. No, okay, so okay, so what's the problem? You're gonna Look at this. Okay. Anyway, so I want to go there. I'm so pirate. Yeah, I've just been hearing about these places What about Brazil or Colombia? I'm also fascinated. Never been to Colombia personally But that's also like a big highlight for me that I've read about Medellin so much Like everyone says yeah, dangerous all that but there's so much other shit around it No, here's what I'm excited about Medellin because I went there first Spanish class That's what I took spent my first Spanish classes in Curitiba supposed to be amazing. You know Curitiba. No, where's that it's like a shore in Brazil It's where State of Panama, Brazil. We're going to start hearing first about because they're fucking shoot the box camp is there It's like a kickbox in gym, but a lot of backpackers have told me it's actually really cool vibe Okay, hold on You can get it from South America Rex hold on. So this is what I do Boom now to say it, but I usually am able to say who gave it to me For real for sure. Yeah, no. Yeah, some Paulo more. So Paulo more. Mm-hmm. Yeah, in my head. I would go the same I talked to Raffi Baustos. He's from he's from near Sao Paulo. Oh, yeah Black Greenwald is now living Maybe Sao Paulo. Maybe somewhere else Paraguay. I'm interested in some of these places. Just don't call to me at all and some really do so El Salvador. I'm kind of excited about because It used to be super dangerous and now I guess it just got very undanguous and so it's not gonna be touristy Yeah, I heard great beaches and shit. Wow It already sounds so fucking El Cuco Yeah, you know Turner Sparks. Yeah, so he just went there really? Yeah, and he goes it's like so safe like what he did do that Just vacation. He went to make a travel video. Mm-hmm. He said this is a place called Bitcoin Beach It only accepts Bitcoin because they're so like advanced like we're doing our own dollar standard Whatever can and then he went there he goes yeah, but there's no Wi-Fi here so we can't change We can't send Bitcoin to each other. That's it. That's a dream hilarious. Yeah Anyway, give me what your questions are about this trip and tell me like what's the okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay, so we go there a Peru Peru. Yeah, sure So I'm gonna go on there's a lot of these plays the only thing I'm definitely definitely definitely gonna do the rest Or like I'd like to do that. Mm-hmm. I'd like to go to Uruguay But if stuff gets really transferred if I end up living on a farm and in Argentina for a while I might not get it to Uruguay, you know, but the only thing I'm definitely gonna do is I'm gonna hike to Machu Picchu. Oh Shit, yeah, that's the move for sure But tell me about like any psychedelic shit or like I probably do for sure All right, yeah, especially if you're on Peru and all that you got it like I didn't echo it last time But then and also you can probably get one of those fancy ones now. I've heard it's like crazy What do you mean like the way they set it up for you and the views they give you and the shaman and the rituals I've heard it's like the premium Johnny Depp shit. What do you mean like describe it? So it's like you pay more of course, but for you pay more, you know, you're a multi-million, you know, I'm not I don't know what the standard of everyone that got two milliliters But anyway, you can totally get one millionaire get something pretty awesome. I reckon I did it It was 80 bucks. It was an Ecuador. It was not awesome, but it was very authentic. Yeah 80 bucks It's like you have a tent in the woods, you know, not quite a tent. That would have been nice Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I need a puke in a bucket You know in here somewhere and those fancy ones you can like puke kind of like a child or something on a trip extra Yeah, pay extra a little I think I think the spirits Know your rich to there like the spirits will be like this guy Like the spirits that visit Ron white are very different than the ones visited you for 80 bucks. Yeah, the spirits that visit the Ron white They're all high level. They're all the other Ron rights. Yeah, they're the VIP shaman the white Ron rights It the crazy thing about the Amazon is spread so far, but it's look at this look at this it goes into Ecuador It's all this so tell me about the Amazon. Is this also a consideration? You got to get like shots and shit. No, it's my favorite place in the world. Have you been there before? Yeah. Oh, you got to get like shots Yeah, I got them. Oh wow You know as funny I was on stage and I was my arm is sore from getting them. Mm-hmm one of them one of the vaccines Like nice the other you could feel it all going in like killing it. Yeah, I'm like oh and I had to hold my I was like So I was on stage. I was like oh, sorry. I got vaccinated today people started murmuring The color of the little boot a couple of people cheered I was like this is odd and then I said I was like fuck this fucking vacated So I was like why are you doing that don't do anything? And I was like no Jesus Christ. What the yellow fever of accident doing like you shitting me right and he goes oh Yeah, I don't like guys. You're too politicized. I'm going traveling where there's malaria concerns and you're still living in 2020 Oh, you mean the malaria vaccine? Yeah, it's actually an important one. Oh, you mean the one that I don't want to get dangay I'm sorry if it doesn't match up with your fucking science, but I'm gonna do my best to not get it. Yeah, sorry Yeah, I'm still good on rabies But okay, okay, okay, so wow, yeah, Amazon is amazing. That's wild, right. You're gonna be like getting you're gonna go to like But I want to go to like different parts of the two. He's gonna. Amazon breathes The everything's just breathes really the whole this sounds all the time crazy sound everything's dying and living dying and living crazy sounds You get these frogs are like outside your winter like what the fuck And the next day they're all a little further and they can't but like what's making that noise? Yeah It's great to get this size like those lizards that scream the little ones You always hear them in like in like Thailand and stuff and it's like oh, yeah And you see what it looks like. It's that big Dude the first time you hear that yeah lizard scream. I'm literally like There's the fuck out of here. No, that's that is funny when you go to a new place and you hear a new animal Yeah, just hear that and you're like they're like oh, it's a little actually butterfly. It's a little butterfly Here's what I'm excited about I'm excited about seeing some places. I'm excited about being lost. I've recorded 52 episodes of this podcast Jesus, so I'm good till till I mean next July august Um, and then it's London right and then it's London wow and that's gonna be so exciting too, huh Yeah, but honestly, it's not even on my mind right now of course you're so because it's so in this god This is so fucking awesome. Yeah, are you taking so tell me this yeah, there's also some things that backbackers do here like they take a boat from Place to place. Yeah, okay, so so tell me about this good question. So tell me about this two countries. I got a mess Venezuela. I'm obsessed with boats Venezuela because they're taking like I've heard like political prisoners now like you don't have to speak out You just go like hey, you're America. We might need you to trade. Let's just drop up charges and then Honduras not look. I don't know. There's this place up here. These islands. It seemed really nice so maybe Cox and whole whatever but but I don't know it's too dangerous So if I'm gonna be in the south I just a girl from Honduras once she had a giant scar across her face to ask what the scar was She was like, you know Can can is there any way to set that to country music? I kissed a girl from Honduras once she had a scar across her face I asked where the scar was as she said I know I mean tell me that's not at least a post-malone version of country That's that's a lyric, bro Autotune then make me auto-tune it a-i-it rip it play it Yeah, right here. So here I can miss I can miss a Honduras and go straight to How long is the boat? I think a few hours from here to there. Oh Here to there. That's it. Yeah, fairies What's the best ones Indonesia? Yeah, everything in Indonesia those fairies are awesome because it's always like there's bermanese like people without passports You know, they're like hiding under the deck So it's like a real experience. I think I can get from here until like to right there And then bypass and then go to Chinatenga or something like that. Jesus Christ. This is so fucking fascinating What I'm excited about is not having any time constraints and so if in Guatemala I only want to hear before into like the central and And the mountains up to this town, I definitely want to go back to I didn't get to the west of the east I mean in the north where all the ruins are So I'll get to there to call and all those places fuck believe right kinder. Yeah Kinder Yeah, I don't know fuck. Are they speaking English so it's less? Mm-hmm exactly. I'm just like big investments there It's like one of the it's like a Panama city. I've heard you know, it's like just a big economy. Oh, right Nicaragua has all its cigars that could be fun. Oh, God. I heard Panama outside of Panama cities Just really fun really and really like really beautiful and naturey Mm-hmm, and then I wouldn't mind seeing the canal in action, but that's about it for Panama City The canal in action. What's this? Bocos del Toro's So South America Rex. Well, okay. Anyway, that's something Wow What is this? Oh What yeah, I don't know who the fuck talking about this, but this looks fucking badass Tell me this won't be fun to be here. Yeah, this looks like somewhere where Vin Diesel gets a mission You know, he gets he gets the call. He's got to go back in he gets the call. Yeah Shaky somebody's video dude white people are crazy. They just feel many things. They better be a tsunami coming or otherwise There's no reason for this level of shaking us Hold your arm. There it is Oh, I mean yeah, it's just like dude you're gonna run into so many places chicken buses But you know what you can never predict a vibe so you never know and I bet Isn't the most exciting part since you have such an unlimited time constraint. Yeah, you can totally vibe it out I've had so many dude so many trips have been where I vibe The vibe is right and I just stay there. Just I'm having a good time. Well, I move on. Yeah, there was a play and You wanted to right what you party to right so maybe in I reckon I've heard crazy shit out of friend Who went if you're gonna go to the if you're gonna go to the Guinness factory in Dublin you better go get some coke in Medellin Yeah, I've never done it, but to be honest if the It's got what I've never done it. Yeah, I know I had a And I was back packing My first opportunity to lower your voice so the one woman doesn't hear you and know other woman will hear it There's ladies around, you know, I don't want to say it's a reach. I don't want to say Okay, yeah So there's a backpacking it a hostel. I made a Guy from Switzerland that I convinced to do a Muay Thai fight even though he's never had one Yeah, cuz he was so coked out and ready to go. Yeah And we went to one of those you know those bars that everything's made or not of ice, but it's like in Thailand And there was a formula. I don't want to say his name, but there was a formula one driver there who I spoke finish with because he's also finished With his victorious secret supermodel and they had cocaine on the table and I don't know why I just said no, and the I left the party early and my Swiss friend with his swollen eye from the Muay Thai fight the night before He just got KO. I just convinced he was so I'm called you can do it. Yeah, I said dude. It's more about spirit than like the No literally and he like No, literally, and I'm cornering him in a remember that barring called beepy where you can just fight And there was like a Thai fighter in the ring and they say we're missing an opponent He's like that this many pounds. I'm like. Yeah, you're similar. He was not he was way smaller than the guy I go. I mean you got you know, he's got the technique. You have the heart Uh, and he got hit so bad immediately so and he's waiting his next week. Oh, he's waiting for his so he has to you know He doesn't want to do the face time because he's yeah, I mean this is before a wedding like this So he's in that ice bar getting coked out with this formula one drive and the victorious secret model He stays in the photoparty and just like shit out the fucking victorious secret. He he fucks the F1 drivers girlfriend to form your one driver's No way really whoa So I said no in that moment so every time I have to say no now I feel a strength within me to say no because I said no And you messed out crazy night, but you missed out. Do you regret saying no? This is bad. Don't say that but yes You regret saying no or you're happy you said no, I don't fucking know, but I used that strength to say no What I don't understand the point of the story. You're saying it could have been bad for you Or it was bad for you to not do it could have been so fucking awesome. Yeah This is a negative story you're telling me about not doing cocaine. This is a negative story. I guess it is So you're gonna do coke in Medein Yeah, 100% the party is I had a friend who did the same thing as you yeah, and what happened was the classic go to Medein meets a girl Stay there for a year just doing coke parting with his hooker Listen if any girl says hey, uh, do you need a wife in America? I'm like, yeah, I do Um, prove your case They're gonna be so hot. So here is they're gonna be so fucking hot dude Fuck and you can fucking win out of rubber too because dude third and fucking what what what what what are they gonna find me? I'll just look the same. Yeah, I'll just look the same. Do you even have a name? Um There's one fucking hot Like somewhere there in the nightclub in the hills dude the views are amazing Where is just I went around around Medein wants to go to Spanish class. I forget the name of the town. But it's right next to it Here's what I'm looking forward to in Columbia There's one restaurant that had the best teacher one I've ever had the best what Cheater on Cheater on you know teacher on his it's the best bro You know teacher on it's like when you get beat off by a massage therapist. Yeah Dude, it's so fucking good, but I could do like ecstasy or something. I've never done that either Why have you never done anything? I don't understand. I don't know. I think I would be in real trouble I treat I tried oh look at that Look at that. This is for you dude. It's like little teeth of meat. Dinosaur spine. God, it's amazing Oh my mouth's watering just looking at your dick. I mean looking at this What What is it? Hey, bro. Usually you think this is good shit Yeah, what do you mean? It looks amazing. There's no this is an upper debate, bro. I mean I'm I'm just a bit okay I'm not saying it like I like this weird food. This is amazing. Hmm Anyway Gonna get that and then I'm just gonna go south. Have you heard about any place that I should definitely go to? I mean you're talking to about some of them Yeah, well, Buenos Aires, Medellin, Buenos Aires. That fucking Atylanti. Well, Atylanti. Yeah. I've heard that's like amazing Uruguay, Chile Yeah, so apparently well, we'll see if it happened or not. We're gonna try to get the YMH Entire family here to go down to meet me in Chile. Wow, that's awesome, dude. Right. Well, Tom's the next box. He's gonna pay. Yeah, he's gonna pay. He's gonna pay Yeah, take Tom to go to Bolivia and get him kidnapped dude. Yeah, he's not gonna do it. By the way, if I hear Tom So go as in Bolivia I'll contact the cartel and leave him a hint Haha, you have a lot of people close to Mr. Rogan Look at this get him get him Yeah, that's what you should do get him all kidnapped dude Look at this. Maybe I'll go here the San Juan Bautista island way out Tom so girls like thank Sorry, you got my kids kidnapped in Bolivia. Well Tom, you should have thought of that before you play in the trip I didn't invite the kids Tom. That was just a bonus for the kidnappers To be fair in my dream in life my dream in life is that you get kidnapped Yeah, and you go like underground for four years. We have the funeral and then you like return and then you have cool stories That'd be good for the podcast too. It would be good for the podcast So wait, let me ask your question. What are people saying that I'm not gonna make it through South America? Did I kind of come visit the middle of it? Yeah, you're gonna come by the end of the year There'll be a new year's fucking babush, you know It's so funny how people want to but why do you think people want to believe I'm not gonna do This isn't even like I'm gonna run a marathon It's actually like I'm planning a trip and I like you won't make it like I won't make that's not even a debate It is actually a pretty short one. I thought you were like full two years never again to be seen Yeah, if we're something like that I could see I'm like it guys. It's seven or eight months. I just did six in Ecuador But within those seven you were telling me about you're gonna fly over America the eagle is gonna be calling When am I gonna fly over America because you told me you're gonna go to fuck fuck where I already went there. Oh you Yeah, I was gonna start there and then fly straight to atulco, but then I was like let me enjoy my last New York summer So instead I was like I went up there. I meant Alaska. Yeah, I want what you did. Yeah. Oh, yeah So tell me you crazy crazy crazy. Oh show you this like cold cold cold. No, it got up to about 60 and they were all bitching about the heat They were bitching about the heat 60s hot 60s hot. Yeah, look at this look at this. This is I've heard every time I see you your facial hairs is crazy. Don't look how light that is Check out the time. Yeah. Oh, don't do come to a stone. Yeah, this is really yeah, this is all 12 18. I know. Yeah, that's when people you don't know Or you just I was watching the sun be above the horizon and just going like what the over the ice in the water It was just so nutty. Yeah They had a big whale like celebration whale hunt celebration. What do you think about this? What? But definitely go to places during the winter where it gets a bit colder too, right? I remember every time I'm back back for more than a year in a stretch. Yeah, the heat. I get sick of it At some point I'm literally I remember I went like to the north of Thailand too for that just to have some sort of a winter I mean, it wasn't cold, but it was fucking cool like cool and rainy and fucking well, okay, so I'm chasing the summer So this is gonna be like down here is gonna be the hottest day of the year there for among them So like I'm as it gets colder North America. I'll be in the heat there But there is the mountains the andies that gets cold I Wanted to a city in the north of Guatemala where they have these great weird like Like a to mezcals and It was like frigid at night But it was in the mountains and it was like Yeah, yeah, I don't buy some fucking Jesus candles to light them up just to have some heat around me But then you breathe in that freshness. It is fresh the freshness Dude you're gonna believe it's such fresh air. It's gonna be crazy Especially the Amazon is and all that shit, dude, I think you need a fuck of course But yeah, but I mean the air is gonna be those are the lungs of the earth man. You're gonna say yeah Yeah, yeah, dude that's gonna be a mate and you're gonna just be in a fucking get on one of these boats Hold on 8k 47 do drugs fuck a hooker Yeah, I'm a little worried about the danger there than Southeast Asia. Oh for sure seems way safer for sure This seems the crime is like not crazy crazy, but definitely and you're getting to a age where you're an easy target Like if I see your face as a cartel member. That's what you go for. Yeah, yeah You wouldn't go for you or even Brian Simpson you would go for like definitely not I'm not gonna fight back Me and Rogan weren't we're in a real UFC. Mm-hmm Seth Rogan and He was real worried. He gets worried about everything but he gets real worried about kidnappings They were the kidneys are real thing and we had a bodyguards slash driver Bulletproof car and and he was like to people get kidnapped all the time the guys like downplaying it I mean we've had this on the last podcast that we did together, but but he goes the driver goes guys You're not easy targets. This is 15 years ago. Mm-hmm. Your guys are in your 30s and 40 like they're looking for an old man Exactly you want to look at the old man? Yeah, the kids want to get karan pop back completely out of money and desperate desperate Maybe they'll try to get you but like they'll just wait till the next guy. It's not gonna fight back Yeah, Joe your shoes. I don't want that huge and also. Oh great. I get in that Rogan. I guess 74 Navy seals are coming tonight. Yeah, he's one of them. Yeah, we're gonna try to get him the Florida grandpa Kailah who looks like you You look old with this hair cut like this whole shit. You look like an old Captain sir. You look like a guy that goes down with the ship Right, he looks like the guy like I'll stay Like yeah, like you I could you can I'll hit you with a baseball bat over the head. Yeah in my head This is your story you have like a you're like visiting there and people miss you You're maybe maybe a fiance back in America and that's the guy you'll get a million dollars from grandpa from Florida You can get a million dollars. You don't think this guy's a wild car with this hair cut This guy's like I don't know if he's nice or when you start speaking then I'll get creep the fuck up Yeah, you know I have you know I have this you've even heard of a flavor saver you've heard that term like it's that the hair It gets stuck here so that when you you know why it gets stuck like it pussy pussy flavor gets stuck and you save it It's a flavor men are so gross and disgusting. I agree. But here's why are you I don't like the flavor. You don't like pussy flavor No, not later. I mean that's Dale. I like fresh plus. Yeah, everybody like sure everybody likes to name your children's book Everybody likes fresh plus. Yeah, washed young everybody likes my I don't so After 30 gets a little twang. Hey, it gets. Yeah, it gets a little like should put this in the fridge I know yeah, he's paying for it later. I can't remember eating pussy in my 20s. Being like it stays like nothing It's nice like nothing and now I mean tastes like something you can smell it. Anyway. I don't want that saver flavor You ever smell a gross pussy while you're kissing her like you can smell it because it's because in backpacking Crank a shower in backpacking culture a shower hasn't been seen in weeks sometimes sometimes that's where you fuck in the shower. Yeah Fuck in the showers. It's the right thing to do Let's have your own dorm or your own like no one else is in it. Mm-hmm. Be a gentleman go fucking a shower and Last off it last then as well. I did so anyway. Now no flavor at all saved Slides right off. Mm-hmm warmth flavor. Mm-hmm and Oh What's oh, that's me Yeah, if I kidnap you and you start talking about flavor saving, I'm letting you go. Yeah, if they kidnap me I'm like I don't want to fall asleep. Oh boy. Take me to the boys. Yeah, where are we kidnapped? You guys take me to the resort? I'm willing to pay that is true. You could be a you can do a lot. Where's Epstein Island? You can do a lot of 100% you can be up there. No one would ever Where's Epstein? Oh, this is it little same James Dude, how crazy is Google? It's like you put in Epstein Island. It knows it's like I got you It's cuz oh, it's up there Wow, yeah, wow. There's one review. What's the view? What's the view? What's the review? It's got a one-star review reviews boom. Here we go. How do you two years ago one star? David King David was the one that didn't open is going on so he just went to bed to early Jesus Christ you're going to the Amazon. It's big, huh, but drugs drugs So look at this man, not man. Oh, yeah, yeah There's whoa, it's a big city in the middle of the Amazon. Yeah, it's in the Amazon That's where you land to go to the fucking Amazon, right? Oh, yeah, it's all the like drug shit happens. Wow See read that quick facts start reading it my now's on the banks of the Here we go, and he can you help with that? I think my now is on the banks of the white guys can't say that it won't just tell me if I'm allowed to say it or not black and Spanish You can't read it. Sorry, the text is too small. I can spell it for you if you want what you go ahead All that is that help? Oh, yeah, the nigga river That's a mispronunciation Nobody is saying that It's a major deposit boy For the surrounding major deposit for the surrounding Amazon. That's yeah, all my friends that I've gone to the Amazon have a land that that's where you land man Oh, can you read the sense that I think I read a lot I can't see Just east of the city the dark negas got brown. Maddie's solimos river the dark Negros negros Yeah, real negros Convergence of the brown. He's like Wow, maybe I thought oh wow, but wait, that's the word we have for the inward in Estonia, too So we don't really have the angry inward, which is kind of shame you don't yeah, I'm just a neutral neutral like black and Spanish Boom Get out of here you fucking bye-bye Haha By the way, Brazilian say the end bomb like even the white guys dominicans in New York say it They said so casually, dude. I'm a friend who's literally his grandpa was half a minute and he drops it Hey, he go instead they replace with guy so I told that guy over there not to go like I'm like you're not black Yeah, but they're like shut up this and they go this is crazy right now. I'm like I'm one. It's exciting. It's exciting. That will be nice I'll tell you what I'm scared of Yeah, so tell me all the anxiety that's because okay right now word that's career wise. You don't feel nothing, right? No bit right do you do it? Yeah, yeah, it's I've made a decision already What about if you go up somewhere? Have you thought about that? No, I'd same thing I had one of it was how your show in in in Cambodia That's my fear why I Didn't want it. I don't want to go up and then sit on a bomb for two straight months if I bomb in New York now Which happens all the time? I'm getting on that night or quickly the next day and I'm washing it. Okay, so that anxiety none. Okay Okay, no, but career wise I've just I've made a decision to give up a certain amount of money for some of this free A lot of money. Yeah, yeah, and so I already made that decision so of course I'm gonna fall behind again to a degree But then again as a person the development you're gonna go through. Yeah, this is gonna be like on brand I'm brand of like you can absolutely have an angle I bet the special you're gonna come back is like you did a candle once can be small Brazilian children in the back Yeah, yeah, maybe all the little boys I had sex with dude already go for kids, dude I'm already gone. I have a kind of reservation in two different places. That's great. I heard the results are really nice It's the fancy boys But you got it there's something that are pronounced with zoots and that's this Yeah, because it's like the cute way to say it because that's like a code for that's there's children fucking here I think there's children fucking in every resort Sometimes I say these things too seriously and people think I'm being serious. I'd like to say here you'd be tripping I've never fucked a child Both boys and girls. Do you have any questions about this trip? Yeah, I'm a bad. I think it over for a second. What food are you looking for it to the most? I've kind of been a whore. Besides the teacher owns besides the children. That's a good question There's kui in Ecuador and all through Peru. Can you pig diarrhea? I'm a little worried about the diarrhea, but I don't have any way. I just deal with it to be a man. Yeah, I am Worried about any motorcycle trips. Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take my pets for sure fucking awesome. Yeah, for sure Yeah, so dangerous. Uh-huh, so dangerous. Uh-huh. And then hikes. I'll be going on some hikes and when you're a person Don't put your hand outside of the bus. You know, they like chop it off in a machete. Take your watch So don't do that. I don't think I'll wear a watch Yeah, don't do that and then also like who does that when you stand next to that when you stand next to the train stop somewhere Yeah, don't be on your phone like be on your phone Like this you on your phone and then they do this push you in and you're like, hey, why'd you have to push? You could just take it. Yeah So don't do that. So don't and don't look around too much. Yeah, listen I'm not worried about the danger part of it. Uh, I am worried about Not really about what about much to be honest. I'm just like I'm like I want to get to things but also like I'm a little worried about like re-adjusting into hostile life. Yeah, dude But I'll be fine. I know that'll work fine after a week. I'll be like I'm used to this now It will 100% and then letting go will actually feel amazing once a Guatemala couple December's ago and I stayed in hostels and it was like I got my own private for one or two nights Exactly, and then though I went on a hike and came back to like there's no private stuff I'm like give me a dorm. It didn't matter after date, too. I was like this is fine Everything switched off everything did switch off Just give it a second. Yeah But okay, okay, okay, the anxiety and then of course, but it's gonna be like exciting. It's gonna be very exciting Isn't it crazy that You know it's my number one anxiety when I travel my passport. Isn't it funny? Oh, that's an anxiety Yeah, that a piece of paper on this day and age a piece of paper if you lose that in Paraguay Yeah, what do I do your Paraguayan now? Yeah, yeah pretty much. No, you are. I got to find an embassy Also if you lose your wallet, I got about five hours left before I'm starting to need food and I don't have a wallet or or a passport. I'm actively dying You're dying till yeah, you get somewhere. Yeah, how do I get a new ATM card? How do you even start with this happened? Who do yeah? I'm like oh, I got a steal some bread. Mm-hmm Well, it's still the energy to do it Here's one thing I'm worried I haven't finished all of all the work I have to do before I leave so right now I have this anxiety of like Did I take care of everything so I can actually just come out good but the feeling when you're on the plane and Seven months of no plans. Yeah, that's what that's why you're a backpack grandma backpack Her kai legacies are back. There's people who love that freedom. Yeah, look at them with good good questions It's like your host you read it you pretend it's your question. Hey, mr. Shafir. Welcome to it. We are traveling with Ari Maddie So mr. Shafir yeah, you can see him on Netflix and YouTube please Give it up Thanks, thanks So, Ari tell me about this trip. It's gonna be an exciting. What's the packing situation like? Good question, Ari One backpack Over you really yeah, what's the fuck? What do you mean like the big one that you throw? Oh, you still check? No, don't check you gotta get it just just overhead 45 liters. Well, I got a 70 that's a 55 the main pack That's just small to fit in the overhead tell me the model It's an osprey far point 70. They change the model So I had to go eBay an older used one to get this proper model with a zip up. Yes with a zip up back Yeah, attachment. So it's a 55 liter that has an attached 25 or something right touch 15 at that's 15 Yeah, it's it's so good The new one it doesn't It doesn't zip for paint yeah, four point seven ever seen boom Yeah, yeah, no, that's the one I had in Asia. I actually left one did my last four point I'm so pissed off still about this is in Kuala Lumpur Airport. Oh, you know why why late on the flight and they tell me He can we can let you on through the back, but your backpack's got a go because it was too big for the overhead Then I had to just leave it What do you mean so they couldn't check it? No, they said that's the option either run now lead this year Yeah, so it's this. Oh, that's fair of you. It's not as a checks one Yeah, so it's that so everything's got to be duplicate boot duplicatable So like hiking shoes that can double as like go out I cannot see per their tone You know, there's there's new ones I can't fucking remember the new model that my friend uses it's called naked something It's apparently see the zipper kind of sucks like on all ospreys because you know how securely it's trapped It's gonna be great for the Amazon because that means it's probably got the fucking humidity protection But wait, what are you saying? What what don't you like the access? You know, I love like all and a big zipper. They have a small zipper that might give you issues. Oh, no This one slips all the way up and around yes, but the zipper's eyes. I love the big train tracks I hear you can pull it through the clothes like when you need it shut. Yeah, no This did eventually break on my other one. That's why I had to get another one That's what I'm talking. Yeah, so it's everything so it's one one pair jeans, which people like don't there's all this red So don't get two pairs of jeans one pair. Yeah, no, but some people say don't even pair jeans They take too long to draw. No, no bro. You're gonna go do a restaurant. Yeah jeans are actually they're horrible to sweat Then but they're actually great to sweat then like the smell is included smells comes into them The smell is included. Yeah comes in and out jeans are supposed to be fucking you watch maybe three weeks in America And the dirtier and jeans are perfect to get dirty with oil, but children's They're not jean it adds to that's why it gives history and then we sell them jeans first in that skank face Come children's high will be sad. I miss this game. What I'm here yet jean one pair sneakers light as possible a pair of flip flops. I'm actually bringing the birthright Great for backpack and also you can literally go like fucking shove them in there. What's that sure you? Super big size big cock. What size you know? Are you American size or European and everything? Yeah, but I know you are everything, but Oh here we go. US 11 US 11 these are light huh dude crazy literally like brand of this brand of these It's a it's a it's a ID does don't expensive either and they're actually running ones see continental in the bottom The grip is great. You can catch the flight not slip Continued no dude get these pro. These are backpacking city. I literally went to the store. This is the lightest shit dude this in a backpack No, because it's a running one every shoe feels weird at first. No, it's like the toes go up about It's my toes that go up about Yeah, I guess you don't want to be a fast agile and mobile with all against the cartel. Sorry my bad dude. Um, sorry my bad dude Sorry my bad dude. I guess you don't want to be fucking super fucking fuck Yeah, get some converse super heavy. I was getting some new balance new bounces. Yeah, sure. They're like that Yeah, although this is a horrible car. Never get anything white. What's your backpack in dirty so ugly? You get like an off-white new balance. You know what I can't stand that is the hookers because they're I get they're comfortable But they look like you're a tourist dude. They're calling attention to you if I see you in hookahs kidnap city Knap city. Oh, yeah, get the guy or this belly or this bag. Oh, and this look you know this look Yeah That's every tourist focus this back If you weren't like this. This is how you walk around area you walk around like this Fucking yeah, new new balances and you just walk around like this and you stare everybody down What are you gonna do about it? If you go the wrong way you got the wrong way you don't turn around don't turn around Go up and around this is the worst shit to do near cartels. Oh Yeah Yeah, and you see all our comestats me amor. Yeah, you kids are late. So they think I'm not even gonna do this trip That's a crazy thing whatever fuck them. It doesn't matter. They're were they're retarded. I went to Colombia's Independence Day here by accident a party That was here. Yeah by accident. I went to a bar continental and they had the Colombia's Independence Day Oh really at the continental and they just know how to fucking party I got so excited because this was just when you texted me that you're going on that trip What the fuck city? Where is this dude? There's all tied to these. This is Chile Yeah, but are you gonna be some fucking I'm then I'm not going out here. That's too far, but oh it's Easter Island. This is Easter Island - Tom Hanks, you're gonna speak with a volleyball two weeks in, dude. - What? Look at that. That's a. - Yeah, but we can find these big, it's like, you know what I found out about it, but you know what's the number three? - No, you can't find Easter Island statues anywhere. - You know what you're gonna find about backpacking that always happens? And when they go, this is a great temple. You're like, it's a temple. - It's a temple, see it. - It's just a beach. - Templed out, temple doubt, beat it. - Yeah, temple doubt, exactly. - Um, I don't know, Easter Island was Chile. It's kind of wild. - What the fuck, how far that is? - So yeah, here, at this point, I'm gonna make a decision to go right or left to get around the Amazon this way, you know, or down this way. You guys have any other questions in there? - Well, okay, so the packing, continue, continue. - Oh, okay, so everything's got up to purpose. So one pair of slacks, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, one pair. - The Converter? - I got, Bert, fresh free waters. - What? - Power converter? Get a good one, don't get a cheap shitty one. - Get a good shitty one. - That breaks, I'm gonna get another one. I'm gonna get, I figured out anything I can get there, I'm not gonna worry about that I might need, I might not need, I'll get it there. Shoes I need, and I don't have my size, they don't have 11 in places. In Ecuador, I was like, hey, I need it, they're like, you're not gonna find that here, and you can stop looking, you're not gonna find it. It wasn't a guy trying to sell me out what he has. He's like, you just won't find that in this city. - Yeah. - So for like, shoes and shit, I gotta get, but for anything else, I'm like, I'll just go to store and get it, you know? - For sure, yeah, for sure. The passport is the only one you gotta get there. - Passport, I got that, I got my passport renewed, I got a new one, told them I lost the other one. So I could keep all the, without them clicking through it. - You mean the one they cut off the corner? - Yeah, I think so. - Yeah, but I don't do that, I want it. - I like that, that's a past life. You close a chapter with it. I have all those old ones, dude. All those big visas that they will give you, you know, Jesus Christ. Jew fart. - Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, I'm just kind of excited to see all the different cultures and things. And like, like Heather told me in Wilhaka that when people are getting married, they just carry around shot glasses and you're supposed to like, just walk around and people like fill up your shot glass for you. - Yeah, they roofie themselves, it's great. - So that's the trip, that's what I'm planning for the trip. I mean, we'll see what it ends up being like. - But how about this, you have to do a meet, meet the trip podcast somewhere. Dude, I'll fucking come visit you soon. - Yeah, absolutely. - We gotta do a meet trip. We gotta do like a recap where I come there. And then-- - No, we're gonna do a recap at the end of this, and so this is like what I expected, and then when we come back. - Oh, 'cause you don't wanna mix, you know what? Stay out there and don't come back. - I'm still not coming back. I might do one out there. Oh, Neil's coming, Ryan and Neil's coming to Maksha Peacha. - Yeah, he was telling me about that. - Yeah, so he's gonna do that trip with me. Somewhere here, here, somewhere like that. - I'm still thinking about your fart, it was like really bothered me. - That was a bad one. I'll give you that, I'll give you that. It was not a great one. - I almost got into a fist fight last week at the airport 'cause I kept belching next to me, and I saw the particles fly out of his mouth, and it was like a cool American dude, and I kept giving him like a European stare. Like, and then he said, what, and I dude, I went off. - You are farting, that's what, you're belching all the time. - And then I put it on Twitter, and apparently everyone's, okay, everyone's against me now. - Yeah, he can't talk to people. Jesus, can't tell me anything like that. - I'm fucking over the line. - No, I just posted what happened. I said, "Man, balcer is in public. "I fistfight, who's wrong?" Me, turns out me, everyone's like, this is America, you better learn the language, the language of what, pukin' shit, and cheese. - I'm excited for the, a lot of thermal hot baths. - Cheese, you know, so much thermal hot baths. - Yeah. - There's so many volcanoes up and down here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, that's the fucking, - Augusta Malas. - Maybe a helicopter trip somewhere. It would be ironic if he dies in a helicopter, wouldn't it? - Yeah, what? - I know one I'm tweeting that day. - Colin told me, that's you tweeting? Just a picture of you doing this. - No, I can't remember your famous one about the black guy, but you did someone, I remember like it was controversial. - Yeah, it's hard to remember, but yeah. - A millionaire died, everyone's sad. - A millionaire died, for once they're sad. - He lived in England, maybe, huh? - He wasn't even playing anymore. It wasn't like he lost out on stats. It's like a Brittany Griner gets kidnapped. Like, she's not a whole famer anymore. She's not an all-star currently. - Also a woman gets kidnapped, sell her. Why was she stuck in that fucking. - I think she was, I think it was all a ruse. I think she was having trans surgery, and then she didn't want to do it here in America, so she like, she was like, it just takes a while for the recovery time, so she's covering it up. Augusto Males, I don't know, I'm just gonna have fun, eat new foods, to really get lost. - Super diary, super diary. - Eat some other travelers. Nah, I'll get some diary up, but nothing crazy. - Okay, okay, okay. - It's all well more built off than people give credit for. Lima's a real town, real city. All these hotels are real cities. - For sure. - For sure. - I'm gonna go to Brazil and do it in Brazil. - Maybe I'll take some glasses. - Yeah, you should, I mean, it's the fucking spot. - Yeah. - It's not bad, actually. - Yeah, you can ask like Eddie Bravo. - I can ask Eddie Bravo for a little help. - He'll hook you up with like, you might even go to, 'cause I think they're from real, the great city family. - Oh, really? - Yeah. Oh, but you don't know if you're going to Rio. - I probably will, but even if I don't, I'm sure there's other things I could do that. - For sure, yeah, but just anyway. - So Nicaragua smokes cigars. I've found some gar wraps that go visit my father, like factory, go visit the, you know, Estrella factory. I'm like, okay, that's good. - Wine. - And wine for sure in Argentina, I'm looking forward to. - Cheese, straws, meat, dude, notoriously good meat. - Wow. - 1884 restaurant, I've got so many recommendations. - Yeah, Buenos Aires is gonna be an absolute, I've heard that that's a crazy spot for party. - Really? - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm definitely doing some drugs. - You really are bad. - You should've got somebody that's been there. - Been there is, yes, going on this trip. What are you excited about for this long-term trip? You've been there. You've been about to go on a long trip before. - True. - So maybe we start. - Hello. - I mean, you couldn't have done a worse job. - You guys should've given me more, it's like my website. You guys should've given me more. - Interview about what I'm expecting for this trip. You've done nothing. So, it's an hour in, we've already done it. - Okay, so you're really excited for this trip? - Sorry. - Want my money back? - So you're really excited for this trip? - Anyway, that's all the stuff I'm expecting. I don't know. - What might break the trip? - I want to see some indigenous, what might break the trip? - Good question. - Question. - Malaria, robbery. - Oh, really, robbery? You would, wait, let's describe robbery. Somebody takes your shit or you mean robbery, gunning your mouth with your feet getting, get it on the ground, put, you know, yeah. - And which is, I've had friends who've had that happen and you just have to fucking, that might get me, like, if I get back to the hostel, my stuff's gonna, if I get off a bus and they're like, hey, where's my stuff? Like, oh, I'm like, motherfucker, all my shit's gone. That would bother me. If I really was put on the ground with a gun on my head, that might get me so scared of traveling. - So scared. - That I'm like, I don't wanna be here anymore. - If you're alone, the upside is, you get on the ground and you, you know, you're soil yourself, you give all the shit. It's a traumatic experience for you. If you're out there with a girl, she sees you, soil yourself and be a bitch. She's never gonna come again. - Yeah. - And you're never gonna be a man again. - Yeah, that's not great. - So that's back. - Yeah. - Uh-oh. - I had a friend, I had a friend who was, what's this? - I don't know. - You keep opening your eyes and being like, oh my god, look at this. Yes, it's another place. - Oh, I thought that. - Every time he opens, it's like a regular city and he's literally like, can you believe that's, it's building next to an ocean? - It looks cool. What are you talking about? - Yeah, it looks cool. It all looks cool. - Yeah, I'm gonna see it all. - At a friend. - Yeah. - Hippy, hippie, hippie. - I believe you're at a friend. - Yeah. - He got robbed. - Where did his wife, soon to be wife? The answer. - Yeah. - Just to go on the trip before the big marriage. Everything's wrong. What happened? - It's fine. He's just reframing another set up. - So. - I'm a consummate professional. Don't ask him pay for his share of pressure of pizza, he won't do it. - Really? - It's crazy. - It's crazy. - It's crazy. (laughing) - It's crazy. - It's hard to start with that. (laughing) - It's not a black stereotype. That's a Jewish one. - It is? - Yeah, any Steinberg. - My friend. - Yeah. - Pianca, soon to be wife. One last big backpack in trip before they continue with their lives. They do X to C exact. Just a magical experience. Wife is swimming in the ocean. My friend is on the shore. Wife comes out, starts trying. He goes, "You know what? "I'll just go into." Goes in the water, looks back. Wife is on her knees. AK-47. And leave these guys with like ski masks. And the AK-47, the back of the wife's head. Like this. - Oh. - She's got her like, "Okay." (laughing) - You're gonna take some time. - Yeah. - Because you're pretty. - You can tie it, yeah. - So he's like, "Fuck, okay. "Maybe he's swimming on your back." (laughing) - That'd be funny if you saw your husband. - Yeah. - It's taking an extra second. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's the weirdest thing. - It's a little time and come back up, gonna, yeah. - So he comes back out. Bangala, bangala! You know, these guys, Bermonees or something? - Yeah, Bermes. - Okay, get on, he gets on his knees, you know. They go, they go, they go, whatever money. They, whatever. you know, and this whole time when the AK47 is the back of the soon-to-be-wife, the answer is head. My friend is like he's standing there and they're like kids, three of them. They're like children. Only one has a gun and in his head he has a big rock here and he keeps thinking about tossing this rock, you know. He doesn't do it. Thank God. It's just tough. Yeah. I mean, it's just tough. Yeah. But the fact he didn't do it, you know, this is a bad omen to the wedding. You know, we're like going into a marriage. So then he for a year, you know, his traumatic experience, of course, and for a year, you know, you don't fuck your girl right and your girl also looks at you because he couldn't attract me. The pussy knows that you didn't throw the rock. The pussy knows. Like she, of course, is like, of course, honey, it's just tough. Who cares? The pussy saw you be a bitch, so it knows. So then they have to fucking and I think they're not married anymore and that one might have been it. So there's that. So I got to get an aka 47. I know so I could be that guy. And always throw the rock. Wife gets shot in the head. You move on. You move on with a hard dick. Yeah. It's like I know I'll step up. You got to step up. So when you get in a situation like this, you know, believe your leave me scenario. Go for a shot. Okay. I got a question. Yeah. You you get any sort of protection out there. Like you get in pepper spray. You get in fucking you're gonna get a knife. You can get in the gun. Anything. Nothing. You're just raw dog. I know the problem is that once you get a gun or a knife or pepper spray, now you're saying, I want to do this as a fight instead of I want to get away from it. Listen, it's like, it's like, yeah, take the money already with a knife or I'm gonna lose that fight. Now it's a knife fight that I'm gonna lose. What if he gets the knife? What if he gets your knife? You want to get to my knife? Oh, how about? And also that escalation of all you want is the escalation. All you want is the escalation. Yeah. If you're gonna shoot me in my fucking hair, I'm not one of those guys. But I guys like do it. I'll be one of those guys. I always push my woman up front. I didn't see it push the woman. Push the woman push the woman. The escalation. I'm a bitch. Yeah, I'm like, hey, let me show you. Listen, I get what you want. I can show you pictures of my vacations to Barrow, Alaska. You've never been there. I know you live in the Amazon. Let me show you what a real American traveler. This is the key to my hotel. There's more rich people there. Get them. Please don't. What? So I'm like a bitch, you know. I'm never that guy. I was like, what can do it? Do it. You won't. That's such a crazy thing to do. I wasn't gonna, but now I guess I have to. My old podcast producer, she went with her father, Estonian father, first time abroad. They go to, what's the, what's the one in Brazil there? Real? Carnival. Oh, Carnival. Yeah, they go that. And I go to that. And during the papapa, papapa, everyone, chicks, pussy, drinks, and she's with the father and the father's having a great time like man in his 50s. All of a sudden, baseball went to the father's and blood everywhere. On each of them with your dad, you know, on your lap, bleeding, ha, ha, ha, ha. Everyone's stepping on you. Night, man, night, man. Night, man. There's so much blood. Blood loss. The ambulance gets stuck in the crowd. Ha, ha, ha. They're shaking the ambulance. Your dad might die. He ended up being fine, but it's just like, it's a bad start. It was like literally day one of magical backpackers, but your father damn. It's like, so she does get crazy. I am a bit more worried about crime here than I was in Asia. So, yeah, so I don't Asian are also small like get them. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. You know, there's less gangs there. There's more like junta's, which is like not my issue. Yeah, yeah. So that's my worry. Yeah. But being alone is better, but if you're with somebody, it's going to be big trouble. You're going to witness horrible crimes down to the person you love the most. I don't know. Hostels are like in South America. And they cut your eyelids off. And then what? For why? Do they use duct tape to put you to a pole? Yeah. And then they your wife in front of you and cut new holes in her. That's like a thing I've heard too. Where's that? I heard it's like very popular in Bolivia, Brazil, maybe some in Uruguay. It's like a popular crime. They'll do. And then they'll show your organs for later. Let's Google them. They might cut her like pussy off and save it in the fridge for later. A man's guide who helping a woman who has been taken care of. Central America of Salvador, Guadalupe, Honduras, and Salvador, exactly where you go. You do all these places. I'm going to skip Honduras. That's a lot of Salvador and Guatemala. Great. Reports also detail the prevalence of sexual assault as a weapon of war and persecution. Various regions. Great. Me and Mar. Anyway, so that's my trip. I'll be back. We can do a second part of what I actually did. You can talk and terribly host that too. Ask me no questions about what I did and just get on to you knew what you get into. I thought you were going to be like, tell me about the trip. What are you planning on packing? What are you going to do? I asked all those things eventually. They told you. I asked all those things. I'm excited about the Amazon. I'm excited about some drugs. I'm excited to fucking decompress and just relax and not be part of it. I'm excited to see all these kinds of sonas. The food. Different regions. And you're going to be a stranger nowhere. What does that mean? It's like exciting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm very excited to not be recognized. It'll be recognized very very little. Yeah. And I love the thought of like that if I got murdered here, no one would leave them. No, not even a few. Tony wanted me to go on kill Tony. He needed somebody else for this week. And I was like, yeah. And then I was like, actually, I'm about to go be anonymous for, you know, a better part of the year. No. No, that's why I'm okay. Yes, you. Yeah. But I was like, I want to go be anonymous. And I know you're, you got too big. And I don't want to go in there because it won't be off for three weeks. I'm like, I know. I'll be in fucking Guatemala then. I don't want to be known like 74 times. I know. It's time to go Batman. Not lately. Right when it's on your mind. It's always a jump in popularity. You might get more recognized when I do a kill Tony. I don't know about. Well, surely there'll be some fucking students in Colombia that will recognize you because they're doing coke and they'll yell. Yeah, we're just other backpackers. Heather, you got any questions about this trip? Okay. Yes, better host. No, I'm excited to go see your Wohawk in a shot glass there. You send me a talk of a place in Wohawk. Oh, you've been there. Yeah. You went for a wedding. Yeah. A lot of people have been there for a wedding. Buy no second or two people go for weddings. Anyway, we'll say, yeah, but definitely come to visit. Yeah, somewhere I'd love to do this is so exciting. And also like when you zoom out, just zoom out. Yeah. Isn't it crazy? How big? It's so big South America. This is the United States. This is so crazy. That's from here to here. Yeah. Pretty much. That's the US. And that's like double double. And you go down and this is all uninhabitable by anyone who can't fucking make a meal out of ants. Oh, it's literally like. Yeah. Jesus. It's going to be so exciting. Yeah, I'm excited to go back to some of the places I've already been like that one cheater on restaurant. For sure. Like this different places I want to just go back to a place in Ecuador near this market town. There's one house needs to do yoga. You know, to follow the whole fucking club. I want to go back so bad. Other places are new that I've always heard about. The best part about backpacking is telling other people where to go later. It's like the most you feel so good. When I was in a city in like a temple city in Myanmar and this Israeli girl was like, hey, we did a three day hike. We just came from there. We stayed in the monastery one night. We stayed in the village. And I'm like, oh, and then a few people were like, let's do that. And then you just hear from other people what there is to do. My fucking favorite is when some I found look at somebody's Instagram stories and they're like in Slovakia. And I send them a restaurant. And then you get that text like eight hours later. They're like, dude, he was so good. What the fuck? Yeah. That's all you want to travel for. Yeah. And I really Latin America. Also, like, dude, even when I was in that Colombia's Independence Day party, I just looked at Colombian people partying. They just partied. Colombian party bus is like that thing. Latin Americans, whether it's fuck, I know, Portuguese, Spanish, I don't go fuck. Just that blood. It's like the way they know us up. There was about 20 people in that bar. And for 25 minutes, it was that song, you know, that song time. Macosta, Marijuana, Macosta, To. Macosta, Tejas, Macosta, To. Macosta, Colombia, Macosta. And you just sing along. Yeah. For 25 minutes. Yeah. And then it's pretty good. Yeah. And I'm there with like, I'm there. Los Umbres G. Is that Los Umbres G? Who knows? I'm there with like a date, you know. We go to the bar. And these guys come up. They make her compliment like, oh, what is that smell? And then the guy looks amigos. Comes closer to me, smells me and goes, oh, that is nice too, you know everyone's friendly No, it's creepy to my fucking girl that I'm dating here. All right, a white guy would be like, yeah, you gotta hot these ass You know they know how to be sexy and they'll have to live The fat chicks on the beach in Rio were so hot There was such hot fat chicks and they were so like like just put it out there Latin American fat girls are you kidding me? Yeah smooth fat smooth fat no one knows smooth fat Be fat, but be smooth smooth fat smooth fat and health underrated fat. I can tell they squirt. Oh Because you can tell yeah, yeah, how can you tell you can just see by the built of the hips Like if I ask this fat from the front you know when you see it the fat sticking out Yeah, you know that pussy comes like a hydrant dude. There's so much humidity and Health around that pussy Like those skinny girls, you know when their legs are really separate. They like it's like a mannequin and you can see it's like a Like a wound of an axe the pussy is like wound of an axe. No no no skin. No, nothing. It's just like a man Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna accent. It's fucking hit a mannequin. You can tell dry a shit Soma. Yeah, you need some you need to do you need to do a little loop it up for 16 minutes to even start fucking you know we're still agmiders No, if I'm in caves, you know the little things that come down and go up so the ones that come down because the dripping came and it made I think go go like it to go lower and lower and lower with more drips now. That's what pussy is a good dripping pussy is loose and it Leaks out. It's not the axe wound. It's the extra shit coming out extra shit Calagmites because they're wet. Yes, exactly. Yeah, our stalactites and the pussy in Brazil Columbia, you will see it would be absolutely crazy You know when you see like an ass and you're like this is illegal Put it away get away from you lady Yeah, put it in yeah, put it in Brazil in my China. Let's go. Oh, and they all wax too. I'm a repeat. So I love it. Okay. Okay. What are we talking about? Wait, who will get to this? I guess so wait. I thought pretty wild What what what she doing down here? It's a stray razor blade. Do you fuck it? What? Razor blading or butt something I like that Okay, wait, is that even a human? Oh, I mean good technique though That's oh, it's only fans obviously dude. Yeah, you think this is like Okay, well, uh, okay, this this is what I'm talking about this kind of a China Yeah, this is the kind it does not squirt this that's been squirting. Oh, that's cool. It's pretty square Yeah, this it's like nah been dry. No stalactites. Mm-hmm. I don't know. No, no, you can see some you can see some coming out some starting to form Nothing All right, let's shift back to back to Google maps here Okay, here's a good here's a good one here's a good one what of these is a squirting one and one is Not just makes me know I want to have sex this makes you not pussy's not like pussy's disgusting Not like a daytime thing to see it's like pizza. Yeah Pussy's like pizza it's a nighttime activity like I need one shade of a candle to see this animal But with the all these bright lights that you set up it's a little much it's a little much Yeah, it's when you get when you get a prostitute in Tijuana Bobby these advice is like hey look closely because you're gonna Take him outside before you go to the hotel and you see them in full light You want to see my full light Well, I got catfish two one time you fucked a catfish like a chick came up. She said sorry, and you're like you're not a dude No, she said sorry. Why? She opened with sorry because she used all these AI pictures of herself But it was like 3 a.m. She look ugly as fuck, but it was like 3 a.m. She was the only fish around so I just banged her anyway No, I mean yeah, I'm a guy. You're a nice guy Well, I think that's the good end of this first part of this podcast You're gonna see crazy tits crazy ass. I'm yes, I'm a hostel chicks too. Oh dirty dirty dirty dirty in a different kind of way that you can imagine it's like It's kind of hot, but it's like it's like caked on dirt. It's like a it's like a funk that's on them sometimes. Yeah, they smell used to It's like about the nature all the hikes and stuff It's gonna be excited about cool cities the rock and rolls in in Latin America. It's cool You know what I don't like about Amazon. I was like in my head snakes and stuff like that. I'm terrified Sure, there'll be like big spiders that to scare you. They jump at you. You know that yeah, I'm not I don't like that and a snake dude Oh, have you been have you seen like a big boa? I've seen a big boa across the road, and it's like scary as fuck You can see a big ass on a big boa Fuck yeah, that'll be an insect. I would like fight you and you did what about there's like Jaguar's in the Amazon I don't know what's a Jaguar. Oh the black cat or roar That's not bad. That's way closer than that bird noise What do you think it's better? So Jaguar super scared they like jump out of the tree. It's not like the the cartoon We're seeing a chance with you. What was the cartoon? Which one how they have these butterflies though in the Amazon there's a cartoon of a boy who grew up in the woods and had a friend who is Buma. Oh what? Jungle book. That's a there's a boomer there. What's this killed you? There's a blue morpher. I saw this one. I'm sorry. No. Oh no. It's just a beautiful Yeah, that's that it's this bright bright crazy blue and you can't see it like that. Yeah, and then it opens up its wings and Then it's just this shocking bright blue that you can't even understand. It's like electric Anyway, things like that. I'm pretty excited. Oh fuck yeah. Well, there's that in Brazil. There's the butterfly forest. Are you going there? Go go Brazil butterfly forest Blue more for Brazil. Also, okay. Well, it's just like yeah, it's like a thing like You say the word and then it's the thing everybody look at this. It's covering a fucking tree. Hmm Jesus We're talking about the monarch butterfly one maybe the biosphere or whatever. What's that? It's in Mexico. It's not It's not the man look at this Fucking covering it. I don't want that. That's disgusting. The brown color is disgusting And I and I don't want a big body, you know, in the body if you actually look at a butterfly the body is disgusting. They just got fly clothes on The Atlantic Forest in Brazil is globally. See if it eco region with a high diversity of butterfly species Hey, you want to hear something funny about American politics? So your friend works at the forest service and they get they keep getting all these emails bounce back Saying cannot send cannot send because they mentioned in the emails about the forest protection services the word biodiversity An Elon Musk Somehow got a bunch of power in the government and said any mention of diversity will not be allowed So literally when they're saying biodiversity which means which type of frogs are in which areas a monarch is trying to fuck Yeah, biodiversity kick it back. We can't have that So now butterflies can't focus. They're so scared of trans people Somebody getting a DAI higher than they're fucking up the whole forest service All right, anyway, I think we did it. So dead. Oh, look for that. I'm gonna look for that That's beautiful, dude. Butterfly freak. Okay. Yeah, I'll look for that But this whole trip should be fucking badass. I don't know. I'm excited. And Uruguay the weed weed weed weed weed weed Country first and illegalize of her. That's amazing all these fucking. I will be smoking a lot of Mota. Oh, yeah, yeah, that mod. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good. Just just weed down there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they called yeah Right, right, right. Maybe go to some music festivals. I don't know Yeah, it's like that fucking the middle there is the most exciting though. It's just yeah It seems so dangerous Bolivia to like, I don't know. It's just I'm excited to actually learn about some seem on Bolivar He's somebody I've never really heard much about but everyone dates a whole country near after and all the banks in him after him It's a street. Have you watched that documentary? That's a Netflix about Brazilian politics about Lula and all that shit It's like crazy. Oh, it is like it's not even it's like they they send him to prison like manufacturer stories And the guy to present to for an enemy of like yeah, yeah, yeah, just a president. They put they put the president in jail in jail Because they found like a discrepancy in his in his books. Jesus. Yeah, it's so corrupt and they're gonna kidnap you Yeah, well anyway, buddy. You should come visit. I would love to so I'll be here at the end of December Down here, okay, and that means and then I want to be here on the equinox around here. So that's That is September wow late September October, so between here and there is three months So if you pick a place you want to go to Tell me and I'll tell you about one I'm gonna be there fuck yeah, you know Tell me then I'll be like Like, all right, it'll be in this couple of weeks range and then like, and then like, if you get a ticket, I'll make sure to be there then. - So Roper, he's a show stopper. - Robert's malaria, malaria again. If it gets too annoying, I'm like, I'm just over it. I could see maybe stopping, but I also could see like, I'm gonna shift, I'm gonna go back to Laos. - I'm gonna tell all this to draft kings just so we can make accurate. - Best. - Over and under. - Do you think I want to make it through this or do you think I want to make it through London? - Oh, nobody believes it. Well, the London one is, you're going against a whole world right now, brother, buddy. No one believes that shit. But this trip was like 60, 40, I've heard that. But the London shit, you can literally forget about that. If you'll do that, you'll prove the world wrong. - It's so funny because I've been telling them, and I'm like, you know, you guys said the same shit when I moved to New York. You were like, what are you doing? You're like, make it, you'll be back in no time. And now it just seems so matter-of-fact. Oh yeah, New York, of course, it's a great spot. But it wasn't that before. You don't think London's fucking awesome? These guys have never been out of there. - Tony Gale. - Fucking five star hotel. Tell me how the streets are in town. - Well, if you're in Chile and the mosquitoes are hitting and you feel uncomfortable and scared, and then Tony calls a buddy and we're doing Kanye West. We need you on panel with Kanye. - I bet I can't do it. Can't do it. That would be nice though. Do it down here, Tony. Do it in Buenos Aires. - Yeah, sure. Let's get Kanye kidnapped too. - Let's say Kanye kidnapped. Can't spell kidnap without Kanye. - No, you can't spell it without Kanye. Oh, dude, I gave him a hooker once in Thailand for too many mosquitoes. - Yeah. - I went in there and I was like, this is just a coming in. I'm like, "Lady, honestly, I want to, this is so fucking uncomfortable. Get a fucking fan. Get a fan." I gave him the money anyway. - Yeah. - Listen, I can make $3 anytime. - Yeah. - It wasn't necessary, change your life. - My favorite is when I over here Ford has haggle hookers in places like this. - You want to do your best. - It's $8. That was Bobby these advice. They're 60, put 80 on the table. Put 80 on the table. So they know they're going a good job. - Yeah, for sure. - You already getting tipped. - You're, yeah. - Yeah, if it's seven, give him 10. - Yeah. - Suck it, dry. - Yeah. - Not the children's book. - You fucking hooker. - All right. Well, Ari, I'll be back with a different hairstyle in fucking March and we'll do the end of this. - Is this what you're going with? - No, I'm gonna shave a bolt. - Yeah, shave everything. - Yeah, before I go on these trips, I just go completely bare. Fools, I miss cut. - Yeah. - Just the cut you look like, right? I miss. - I don't know why. - You look like a certain cat. Like, especially when you're bald. Yeah, it's this cat. How, it is a crazy resemblance. It's literally crazy. You're literally that cat, yeah. - Yeah, it's crazy. - It's crazy. - Why? - And right now you look like a good actor from Gangs of New York. - What's his name? Daniel Dei Lewis. - Yeah, he's like Jewish. - I don't think Jewish. - That's the final pun of the episode. Everybody, I'm going to a country where puns are not allowed. South America. It's one of the most beautiful countries in the world. - Dude, if you're gonna die in this trip, this is gonna be so fucking cool. - But this is gonna be so cool. - This is gonna be so cool. - I'll make a lot of fun. - You will. Put the episode out anyway if I die, but it'd be funny to be like, this is always last recording. It's just you talk about chicks get, - Yeah, just like such a bad host. - I'm like, look, that wasn't a good one. - All right. - All right, this was, we are traveling with Ari Maddie. Give it up for our first guest, Ari Shapiro. - Thanks, thanks Ari Maddie. Thanks for having me with your traveling. Okay, all right, part two. - Part two in a week or two or three. - Well everybody, that was the episode. Thank you very much. I am out of here. I'm nervous, I'm going on this trip and whatever. Thank you very much to the YMH network for producing this podcast, Alan Kaffee for Editing. Thank you, Ari Maddie for coming in. He is on tour right now. You can check him out. Brookfield was constant, March 19th to the 21st. I'll take it's at AriMADdie.com. Brea, California, El Paso, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Nashville, West Hollywood, and Austin and LaHoya. And follow him at AriMADdieComedy.com. I'm out, guys. I'm going to have to let you tell you. Next week's episode, we're making my return. After eight long months on sabbatical, traveling around, I come back. Tom Segura is the guest. He's going to be interviewing me about my trip and at the very beginning of the episode, I have a pretty humongous announcement to tell you. Oh man, I want to tell you right now, but I can. Legitimately massive announcement on next week's episode of the beginning. Please subscribe wherever you're watching a listening. You be chipping pod on YouTube. You be chipping pod on Spotify and follow us on Instagram. At you be chipping pod. Guys, next week, it's a fucking big announcement. All right, I'm nervous and I'm out. Close this fucking studio down. It's sad, but I will hopefully return and I'm going to kill by Joe Gilles and Maggie.