Ari Shaffir + Britney Furlan (Carolla Classics)

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Welcome to Corolla Classics, I'm your host, super fan, Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like to gain access to the entire archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the newer podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen ad-free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. Alright, let's get to the clips. First, we have Adam Corolla Show 2750. This one's from 2020, with Brittany Furlan. Brittany Furlan. I was with Furlan Lee at the time, along with Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. Handball, Brian! Do you have half-chub right now? I want to know. Alright, we're going to talk about something we were talking about before, which is a few days back, bad neighbor experiences. I have a million of them, I hope you all do. I know Gina and Ball do, too. I'm going to think about a few of those. Also, just talked to Andrew Yang. And even though he. He's out of the race, his message continues, and we've locked in a day for next week, so. That's great, because we have not seen the last of him. I think he's just getting started. I agree, and I think the era of that style of politician is hopefully forthcoming. The day of the Brylcreem and the smart pantsuits and stuff like that, I've said it for 25 years on Loveline. Just bring me some policies, whatever works is going to work. Let's get rid of all the politics out of the politics, and let's just solve problems. Approach it like any engineer approaches any problem. You can solve traffic. You can go to engineer guys and go, what's it going to take to solve traffic? But then it goes to Gavin Newsom, and he's not so interested. No. We are the traffic. You talk to any guys out there where there's a problem. They'll tell you. I don't know how to solve it, but they'll go. Then they'll pause. They'll go, but the implications, and I don't want to get into my constituency. Bad optics and blah, blah, blah. So I just want to get to that world where you just solve the problem. Right. And somebody goes, well, that's not fair to people driving Gardner trucks with four bald tires. And you go, I'm sorry the computer said we have to get you off the road. Like, whatever that thing is. Yeah, and I mean this as a compliment to him, so I hope it comes across as one. But Andrew Yang seems to lack that P.T. Barnum quality, and I find that to be a huge relief. Yes, just the facts. Not going to win him any primaries, but it's a nice quality. Yes, it's sad that people, it's not, you know, it's like you take some great band like the Jayhawks. It's not their fault they're not bigger. It's everyone else's fault. It's their fault. The people are like too fucking dumb. They want corn dogs. I mean, it's like you walk into an AM, PM, and they got these big signs. It's like you can get two items for $2.49 or three for $2.99. We got a churro stuffed corn dog with, you know, cheddar cheese and bake ads or whatever. And you just look at that sign and you go, who buys this? Like, who? There's an In-N-Out burger across the street. We'll pay an extra $2 and get a double-double. And it's like, evidently, they're moving product. Macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese. All right, so there's a lot of those people. Unfortunately, Andrew Yang doesn't ring their bell. But hopefully, someday, soon, we'll. I hope we evolve that way, at least. We can't evolve toward the smoke and mirrors and the P.T. Barnums of the world. Is the Yang thing happening soon on this show? Yes, that show will air on Wednesday. Oh, you've already spoken to him. I spoke to him. We have locked it in. I want you to nail him down on an endorsement. That'd be big news. Yeah, except for he dropped out. No, not nail him down on who he's endorsed. Oh, he's not there yet. Who he's throwing his support behind. Put a pin in that, Brian. I have it for the news. Oh, okay. Oh, shit. All right. I think he's endorsing a Roomba vacuum, because that's the kind of guy he is. He can't. And I think it's working a little bit. Like, I think the non-answer Elizabeth Warren, you know, arms are for hugging and not for arms races, and I'm going to have a transgender nine-year-old decide who's going to run for run HUD. Right. You know, I think that stuff, people are starting to wise up to that and go, I don't know what that means, but it doesn't mean anything. The proof's kind of in the pudding, too, because Warren ain't doing so great. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I feel. Last couple of votes. I feel like whatever Bernie is, he's Bernie. You agree or you disagree, but he's saying what he's saying. Right. The guys that have been peeling off and dropping off Andrew Yang aside have been. The Kamala Harris's and the Cory Booker's and the Elizabeth Warren's, that sort of identity politics, never really know what they're saying, always shifting and shaping to whatever room they're in front of. I think eventually people are just like, it's going to be down to Bernie and Trump, two exquisitely different ideas, but both super authentic, like, here's what we're doing. And we just couldn't get that out of Warren. And I don't get why she doesn't get that eventually when people are saying, who's paying or how are you going to pay? Pay for Medicare for all or healthcare for all, like, whatever. At some point, you need to spit out an answer because you're essentially saying, I'm going to be the new offensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers. They go, what kind of offense are you running? You're running a spread? You're running an I-formation? Oh, no, we're going to score some points. Right. Out of what formation? The formation is going to lead to points on that board, let me tell you what. But the draft is coming up. Should we get an H-back? Should we get a slot man? Get ready to dominate that draft. But with who? The excellent players who are going to point on the board. Am I right? Okay. Let me just try to nail you down. Are we looking for a possession type receiver? Do we want to spread the defense? Yes. And yes, we are going to dominate. You're going to see a lot of lopsided scores on that board. It's not the same guy. The one's a kind of Randy Moss. The other's kind of a Wes Welker. Why does it have to be a guy? Okay. All right. But are we looking? Okay. Point noted. But are we looking to spread out the field? Or are we looking for more possession? We're going to spread our lead. To triple digits. We're going to beat. That's right. We're going to beat teams by 100 points. But what? I don't. Okay. I'm unsure. Do we want to run out of the shotgun? Or are we going to put the quarterback under center? You're looking for specifics. You've heard of the run and shoot? Uh-huh. Run and shoot and run again. So are we passing? Are we pass-oriented? You heard of the West Coast offense? Yeah. This is West Coast and East Coast. And flyover? All everything in between. I think that was implied. Okay. We need a quarterback. Are we focusing on a quarterback who can run and run an option? Or with a guy who can stretch a field with a big arm? Points on the board. Points on the board. Okay. Well, I'm out of questions. All right. Now, eventually you go, do you want this guy running your offense? As I don't know what his plan is. I guess. I don't even know what I heard. Now, to offset that, do you know, you know, everyone has their slogan and everyone always has this, you know, their slogan is what makes them. Do you know what Andrew Yang's slogan is? What's on his shirts? What's on his hats? It should be, no slow, all go. It's better. It's one word. Oh, math. Math. That's right. And it says, make America think again. Oh, it's an acronym. I like that. Well, anyway, we will have him on Wednesday of this week, although he called it next week. Uh-oh. So now. We'll see. That was almost a deal breaker. I got angry. I don't like him anymore. I'll see y'all at him. So we'll do that. On more disturbing news, I was sitting around watching a commercial with the sound down on my rowing machine. Oh, Max Pata. I took a picture of the rowing machine, Ace Man, the man who taunts me. Ace Man was up on the board last night. Just, just doing that thing. He did that thing like when, when, um, let's say, uh, God, who, who was the guy trying to think of who was the wide out? Sean Jackson. Okay. That part where he breaks away for it. He's looking back at me. as he's heading toward the end zone and flips the ball right as he crosses. There's a guy on my rowing machine. His name is Ace Man. And he's always right ahead of me. I don't know if he knows when I'm going to do it. Do you have to row in certain groups? Can you choose a new group? I don't know how it starts. Does it start the second I start? Brian, it's probably him. What if he had a head start? He's always right next to me. The rower's in the mirror. The rower's coming from the house. So when I'm staring at it, and I was like, it's going to shut off. But as soon as I stopped rowing, I grabbed my phone real fast, and I tried to take a picture of it. And did I get a picture of him? Yeah, I got him. Is he ahead of me, or did I pass him? He's ahead of me. He's ahead of you. God damn it. Who is this mystery rower? This Winklevoss. Ichabod Crane. That's right. With a canoe. This ghost of the night taunting me. It's like a. You know, they go like. He gets alert when you sign on. They go, yeah. That's possible. No matter how far you run, you'll never get away from your past. I feel that way. No matter how hard I row, I'll never get to Ace Man. It's like from the Shelby doc when What's-His-Face found out the other guy was racing, he'd just go there and race and pick up points. Yeah, Brock. One of the things I love most about the day is that during dinner time when we're all in the kitchen, we love to listen to music and dance while we eat I mean, it's probably a bad habit for my kids, but I love it. And we love listening to Amazon music. Like, that's where we go for like our dance sessions around our kitchen counter. But you can also on Amazon listen to podcasts, audiobooks. I've seen that they have Verity. They have A Court of Thorns and Roses, Project Hail Mary, making it easy for you to listen to your favorite books or podcasts. Music, podcasts, audiobooks, all in one app. Found out we're. You guys, the alarm goes off. Yeah, Shelby would try to sneak away to some obscure race and pick up points and Brock would go to him. Ooh, la la. Ace man ahead of me. He's a lot better than you. Yeah, I got 6,000 meters, 6,038 meters and he's got 6,086 meters. So he's right there. I mean, if I had another 30 seconds, I'd pick up the pace a little, I'd get to him because you can. If someone's less than 100 meters in front of you, you'll get to him. There's also the Grizz up there and then there's Anna Marie, which I don't like the chick ahead of me rowing. I was about to get to her and sink her canoe. You showed Del G what's up. That's right. Again, Grizz. But Ace man is ahead of me and I don't know where Ace man comes from and I don't know if they just get on the same time or maybe he's just hovering. What do you mean? Maybe he's like downstairs in his basement and he's just eating his food and he gets an alert on his phone. Yeah, I think he might get a notification. There's a one second, there's a one minute countdown. Like a warm up, whatever. He may get some sort of app or something. He may dive on there. He's in his kid's play. That's right. His kid's school play. All of a sudden his phone lights up and he goes running out. Gotta go! He's going like Clark Kent, like he's getting into sweatpants as he's running toward the car. Anyway, Ace man's up there taunting me. In the bad news department, as I was sitting on the rowing machine, I was watching TV. When you watch TV with the sound down, especially commercials, you really. get a good idea of what's going on. I don't know why, you're just rowing and staring at them. And it's called the Discovy and it's a commercial and I'll show you guys the commercial. It is like. Remember we were talking about. We've seen this one. Oh, did we show this one? Yeah, we played this one before. Oh, I didn't play Drew's commentary on it. That's what I wanted. I was thinking of Movantic. That's the opioid-induced constipation one. Which is scary now that we're doing this. But so the pills are on top of the pills with the pills. But I'll play a clip of what Drew had to say about this because in my sort of Ivy never stops and nature never stops. There's no free meals. Like you go out there and you have sex and something like AIDS comes about. And then at some point, you take a pill. Now we can go out and have unprotected sex again. Mother Nature doesn't just throw in the towel and head home. Mother Nature starts working on ways to come back. Finding a new host. Finding new ways. Mutating in different ways. So I'll play this little idea I put before Dr. Drew and what he thought of it from our show. I'm not a pharmacist, but I do believe very strongly in biology. And I do it like insects that become resilient to pesticides and stuff like that. I believe that if you get the human body on this pill and on this pill too long, or we stay on this pill or everyone gets on the pill, somehow AIDS or the virus, some version, it might not be the same one, has a way of mutating and jumping. Great. Because the virus is trying to survive. Right. Its survival is dependent on the host, which is us. And if the host is killing it, it will find a way to survive. It will find a way to adapt to that. That's called resistance. Right. So a form of super AIDS will then emerge. Probably. If too many people are doing this. It's an interesting and a serious concern. Yep. Wow. Yep. You hear that, fellas? I just made an interesting and serious concern question. Using your crystal brain. Using my crystal brain. Well, every time I see a weed or blade of grass popping through a sidewalk crack, I'm like, yeah, man, nature, man. Look no further than ivy. Just stand back and watch it. It just goes. It just starts taking over everything. No, that's evolutionary biology, man. That's it. But if you want to understand why anything is anything, just look through that prism. This is the internal version of Purell. I just think wiping stuff on stuff and eliminating stuff instead of building up strength to it. We're putting on a goddamn condom. And also unintended consequences. Like, whoever this community is you're worried about, this is going to be a quick patch, but this ain't a big-time fix. That's a good point. There's a lot of other venereal diseases out there and many things to be spread, as well as getting pregnant and things like that. All right, so we're talking about neighbors. Oh, boy. I got some PTSD thinking about this. And I really started drilling down on just how many crazy and. The word, I guess, would be unreasonable. Unreasonable neighbors. You go, why would you do that? Why would you expect me to do this? You're talking about sociopaths, you know what I mean? Like, people who are in their own world and no one else exists, even though they're literally bordering other homes, other domiciles. Right. But I started in the Hollywood Hills under the Hollywood sign. This wasn't, you know, a shantytown in South Africa. This is, like, the Hollywood Hills. And I had an Israeli nutty cunt next to me that was just out of control with her son, her 19-year-old sack-of-shit son, right next to my house. Directly across the street was, like, an old couple. And they had. At some point, there was a sewer main or something burst. And the first two years I lived in the house, they just had the whole street blocked off. They just had the whole front of the street blocked off. So we'd have to sort of enter from the backside. And everyone had to kind of park. They had to park the wrong direction because the front of the street was blocked off. And everyone would just come in the other way. And the old neighbor. And we were doing work on the house. And the old neighbor from across the street was like, you're parked on the wrong side! Like, turn the car around! And his whole thing was, there's a house that was next door, across the street from his house. I bought the house for $350,000, which sounds nuts now, but it was in really bad shape in 1996. Completely rejuvenated the house. I mean, I essentially restored it like you'd restore a vintage car. Perfect. I did what I do. But in that time, it was going to take six or eight or nine months. There's going to be some trucks parked because we got to redo the stuck-on. We got to redo the place. But the good news is, for you, the neighbor, your comp next door just went up $200,000. This guy had to back his car out of his driveway. And because the street was blocked off and we couldn't come up that direction, trucks. And he. All he had to do was like a two-point maneuver to get out, but he still had to do it. And he would just like yell, like, come down and move your trucks. You know, come move your trucks. And it's like. Or. Or just back it up and do like a put it in dry and then back and do it. Do that extra maneuver. You do it here half the time and you're backing out. And there is a context for it. The street's closed. Is this less an outrage that construction happens to be going on? And we're only that way because the street's been closed off by the city. And at some point, you know, I'd see like my guys, and they'd be walking down to the street, like moving the car, just. Oh, he was like a retired guy at all the time in the world. And I was like, just back. And at some point, he was like, tell your guys to move the. And I was just. Again, it's noon. It's Wednesday. We're all working. You're retired. You're taking your Oldsmobile for a walk and you're getting some groceries and it's easily done. You got to back it out and you have to go forward once and then back it out again. And now you can go. If the street were clear, you could just go down to the bottom, but the street's blocked off. Anyway, it's a certain. point i had to like yell at him like hey man i'm coming down there to talk to you because enough is enough and he was not like all right don't do that forget it stay where you are and that was it but it got to the point where i literally had to threaten threaten him the israeli neighbor right to my side i literally had to threaten her i was just like i can't i we can't talk i will not listen to you anymore you're not allowed to talk to me her beef kebab she was generally nuts loud and insane a lot of coming over a lot of you're making noise a lot of when i realized that she had jumped the shark her and i had jumped the shark is um she had a a wrought iron fence in front of her house and that wrought iron was stuccoed pillars and then like 10 foot of wrought iron and then stucco pillared and then like 10 foot of wrought iron and then stuccoed pillars and then like 10 foot of wrought and then you know colored stucco pillars and at some point one of the stucco pillars that was 10 feet away from my garage had where the wrought iron was like bolted into it you could see the rust trail like going down it is just what happens you don't maintain it or paint it or leave it outside and you we've all seen that stucco look with the wrought iron it's like dripping down it's just like a brown drip right and then at some point she's like hey uh you gotta paint my fence because see this drip here that's when you guys put stucco on the house over there like that's what this is and i'm like are you gotta be kidding me like it's so clearly just rust it just took place over the course of 15 years you know i've been here for four months and she's like you guys did this now you gotta paint it and i was like all right well thank you now i know you're insane or liar or whatever it is um but at least it's been established her son her son was the worst her son was the fucking worst she was the worst she was the worst the old people person who lived right next to the old people with kathy bates she was a delight really she was nice i never had any real oh that's amazing and the couple that lived right across the street on the other side street on like the hillside of the street were uh slightly older alcoholic couple okay and i like an alcoholic couple i mean they were like they all the enablers by the way brought me in like at noon like i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like hi new neighbor and they're both like drinking like a tumblr smear it off you know i was like noon you know like wednesday and i was like okay and then they're like good news we got a star trek room i was like well i moved in the right neighborhood because nobody fucking loves star trek nobody loves you mean star trek yeah and i was like okay and then we went into the star trek room and these people are 60 and they showed me the mandolin or the loot or whatever the hell spock played a loot i'm so proud i'm so proud not to know this harp i remember them he's holding up this shitty man there's only three of these and i was like i wish there was just half a month so glad it's a vulcan loot a vulcan loot yeah yeah i i just remember loot like he played the loot yeah i'm like i'd like to go full el cabong on both you luscious you're that nerd and so we're just like standing in their star trek room and they're like we're home all day we like to have a cocktail you want to come over have a cocktail i like a cocktail and uh hang out strum yeah the vulcan loot if you know what i mean that's like a mini harp but they were cool they you know no they they're nice enough they were the uh they were the like 63 year old couple who drove a miata you know what i mean like we we don't have money but we like an open top and uh did they did they both have ponytails no they both just kind of look like dick vermeal like they're kind of lesbian they look like a lesbian they look like a lesbian couple like dick vermeal looks like a lesbian we're gonna score points that's right what's that again points on that board what's the point again we're running on a spread shotgun east coast south coast they both golf coast you know when a couple gets in their 60s their hair goes gray and they both get the short haircut they look an awful lot they both just look like dick vermeal i don't know right so uh and they play the loot and uh drink so the couple across the street was just kind of a complete bust and they'd come by they'd go like come on come over have a cocktail play the loot i'd be like i'm running late i gotta get up to the house that's a win though that couple i like to drink small car doesn't take up much parking you know to get them for holidays they were fine but the people to the right the people of the left of the house and the people in front are horrible and then you just get a bottle of beer enough of course we had the crazy speeder horn honker guy oh is that the guy i i don't know who the guy is still i mean was that the same house same yeah he would he would it was a very tight street it was called uh west shire street it's a very small street it's a mile long maybe half a mile in full length but uh this guy would have this it was a tight mountain street and i and sometimes when you're climbing out of the car the door would like be open and you turn back to like get a box or something out of it and this guy would just speed past you and ride the horn right when it got past you and you thought you're gonna die because you thought someone had just was gonna clip you it was a tight street and i sing the neighborhood i never i never knew what the person yeah keep going a little bit down it it's a big retaining wall it'll turn right and keep going we just passed kathy bates's old house and i would park it's a tight street see so i'd park in front of my driveway you can see the stucco pillar and the crazy cunt and live next door i'd park in front of my uh garage door and i would be getting stuff out and the guy would just speed by and lay on the horn you know that thing when someone lays on the horn when you're standing in front of their car it's startling right it's meant to be heard through other cars on the freeway the guy did it to me like three times over the course of like two three times fool and it's like and he'd speed off he's just speed off and i'm like why is he driving so hard and why is he doing the horn thing and he knows i'm like getting stuff out of the car and one time i was in the house and i just heard the horn honk and it was lynette and she was like there were tears in her eyes she's like she's like i thought the guy i thought it was gonna get hit by i thought i was gonna get hit by a car okay i'm gonna kill him now i'm gonna kill him i'm gonna fucking kill this guy like i've like no more and i ran down the stairs and i jumped in my car and i was like i'm gonna fucking find this guy and i'm gonna fucking punch a hole in his face i don't know what he's doing i don't know why he's doing it but he scared the fuck out of me like three times doing this and he just scared the shit out of lynette and she's like practically crying now because it startles the shit out you think the guy's hitting you yeah i just jumped in my car i'm so glad i didn't fucking find him i jumped in my car and as soon as you go up the road there's immediately a t this is like a fork like and i was like fucking right or left right and i just went left and i said i knew i was behind him i couldn't tell what he was driving i didn't know if i was gonna catch up to him or see a guy getting out of his car i was going to fucking kill this guy because he'd done it a bunch of times and i again just like the guy backing out of the driveway or the israeli cunt i was like why why we live in the neighborhood we're fixing up a house you gotta see these people we deal with this we walk our dogs like well what are you doing this for that's just a that's the tip of the iceberg the tip the next house i moved in had the crazy old dude who i said i wouldn't care if his fucking house caught on fire and then and then the guy and then it caught on fire i didn't care and then the guy up the the guy the guy above me who would throw a gay party gay pool parties and uh it was the guy said like hey let's go in hams he's on removing the tree or whatever never i paid never never paid me back and then the lawyer guy behind me he's like hey let's go in hams he's on removing the tree or whatever never i paid never never paid me back and then the guy behind me who got the mudslide and the pool and kept sending me letters saying give me ten thousand dollars or i'm gonna sue you because i know where you live um after i moved those are just the first two houses i lived in they the the one in lake hollywood had three bad neighbors around the the gay guy party guy was the least of my worries the old guy was a bad dude and the skeezy lawyer underneath me was was a bad dude and that was for a second and that that's just how we rolled that's how we rolled and i broke through my whole yeah i don't know i made the argument many many times it is it is as my concise thoughts on racism when they do a study out of uh the new york times or whatever it was and they go we take 101 uh black black men or teenage boys and we ask them write down the number of times you experience racism in a two-week period and then get back to us and it's six thousand times it's not really racism it's the cunty israeli chick who lives next year or the guy who honks the horn yeah or the fucking neighbor says he's going to sue you or wants to hedge calls building and safety on i mean there's just ass there's just a fucking assholes they're out of control assholes and there's tons of them there's tons of howie mandel built what do you do that did he hurt you howie mandel seriously told me he built a mega mansion across the street from a smaller house that i had in malibu on doom drive i was literally across the street spent all the time that's the house his son like shot the rap video in and stuff like that if you can kind of remember that beautiful multi-million dollar home ultimately sold it i said why he said my fucking neighbor such a fucking pain in the ass i couldn't take it anymore like the guy was constantly coming around i constantly tell me like turn something could you imagine just going to your neighbor's house all the time like hey hey turn your name hey i heard you guys were in the pool hey it's it's six o'clock you guys are barbecuing what's happening on it max bad had a fucking crazy neighbor like downstairs from him like oh yeah where do they get this shit what would your neighbor do uh well he he would he got upset when i would whenever i play guitar and then so one time i just stopped playing guitar i just started flipping a magazine he comes back up and he goes i still hear you oh my god i'm just uh i'm just reading a magazine he's like oh you're making noise i don't underestimate my hearing i have very good ears also hey douche you're living in an apartment you're 45 years old yeah you have to expect some level no this old guy live in a apartment you live in a fucking apartment you have bought you people underneath you you have people above you common walls shit happens or hey when they block off hey old fuck when they block off the street at the end when the water water main breaks and they blocked it off then you're gonna have to do a three-pointer to get out that's not on me who are all these people and don't you want to fucking get older their parents and go next fucking job yeah really this is who you shout out this is what you let this loose in the world this thing this is your contribution terrorizing all of us yes i i have a story very similar to this only i don't want to be a one-upper i think it was worse and it was more recent um a couple of a couple of stops ago i moved into a really nice fourplex and a really nice part of time you know mid wilshire where it is rampant with transients now but it's very beautiful houses and um and so all was well the neighbors were nice i met everyone and the woman upstairs said hey it's so nice to meet you do you want to exchange phone numbers the last girl who lived here didn't she you know she's such a bitch but do you want to exchange phone numbers because our water pipes are connected so if you wouldn't mind like we kind of have to take turns like taking showers and using the water and i just got there and i wanted to make friends and i said of course how hard can that be so for one year multiple times a day it went from i am so sorry can you just i hear you're doing dishes but i'm trying to take a shower and i just got like this cold shot of water to hey like yelling out the window hey turn off your water i'm trying to take a shower this was every day i would if god forbid i was washing my face or brushing my teeth or use the dishwasher while she was in the shower i get a text all caps punctuation i just got scolded with water who are these people and thank you and we didn't have air conditioning and this was during the rolling blackouts and i had to go to a hotel for a couple days because it was just it couldn't take it in that apartment and i had a ceiling fan and it was your one relief where you just kind of lay there naked on the bed and you have a ceiling fan and that's about it um she texted me um excuse me but the buzzing from your ceiling fan is keeping me awake can you please turn it off i text her back i'm sorry i'm roasting down here i don't have and then she showed oh well i guess i'll just get used to it you it's like you try to do the right thing and you get punished yes by it you know what i mean should you try to be reasonable at a certain point with the israeli chick and the guy across the street i just went fuck right off yeah you fuck off get out of my face don't ever talk to me again i had to do that because they'd never they would never stop i literally scared them to not talking to me this is not really what you want with your neighbor it gets the job done it's effective the old man that guy's fucking house got on fire i was like fuck him roast burn baby gina yes i will say this and since we are one upping each other when that neighbor told me to be quiet that was the first time i ever met him i didn't know he was living below me oh that's and then yeah and then he comes back up five minutes after that time and goes are you watching porn and i go wait what are you talking about i was like i hear you watching porn you're watching and he's yelling it now you're watching porn i hear it i hear it and he starts moaning and and i'm just like in other windows just kind of peeking at me i'm like oh great now i'm the local pervert oh we forgot about there's one key element here these people have unlimited time yes unlimited energy and when you do things like oh fuck i'm gonna just cut this tree that's not on his property it's not on mine it's on the vacant lot but i know he's gonna have something to say so like we're gonna wait and do it till thursday at uh one o'clock when they that knock on the door like what do you do you just home all the time you're just home all the time laying you're always there yeah you're in a fucking three-point stance just waiting for cold water or buzz of a ceiling fan or the sound of porn and can i just to chris's point um i was told by another neighbor when i moved out that our pipes were never connected so i don't know what to believe and i got back at her in a similar way to chris uh because my windows were open because again we were roasting and i was skyping with my boyfriend at the time who is now my fiance who will appreciate me telling this story and uh it was late and uh we were having a very very loud hot and heavy conversation with lots of laughing and lots of lots of sex talk and the windows were open and she texted me this is very very uncomfortable for me but i don't know if you know this i can hear you so if you could please close your windows it was the greatest so confucius wants to know all night dealing with that confucius wants to know what the sound of two titties slapping together are i know i had the gay guy next door goes the gay guy next door again this weird informational thing like you would never like if you heard someone having sex like you would never like the gay guy next door he like came by and he goes uh yeah you may want to think about putting some drapes up because uh i can see everything and then he like paused and he goes and i mean everything like i don't know why are you saying that to me why why are you alerting me to this information and by the way you guys are throwing a george michael themed gay pool party in the back and guess you could see everything but don't go there and announce it to you the fuck is wrong with everybody they're like adults that's so good my bad neighbor story i had good luck with neighbors my entire life until i moved in with christy and we had your bad neighbor the upstairs downstairs dynamic like you guys were talking about so my my thing combines the upstairs downstairs dynamic with what you were saying which is how these fucking people are why are they always around why how are they always always home so our upstairs we're in the downstairs unit for for for a unit complex very small uh upstairs neighbors were extremely shady it was a couple a youngish couple our age may a little older uh who had one kid he was like six or seven and they were extremely shady he was always on the phone and you know how they have those um staircases that just echo everything it amplifies everything he was always on the phone making shady deals like in the stairwell no but like you could hear because it would echo through the stairwell and one day the cops came and we could hear the whole thing because they had this conversation in the stairwell the cops came to his door their door and talked to them like are you so-and-so and he's like yes why who's asking the whole they were like investigating mail fraud like there were there were several businesses and several identities being mailed there and they were like investigating mail fraud he's being very dodgy about it but the upstairs dynamic thing was they were always rolling balls or some sort of thing for their cat and moving furniture like played with the seven-year-old could play with the cat and they're moving things and rolling things and and all of us then they would fight and then they were screaming and they would throw what sounded like pots and pans like off the wall and they would the walls are off the ground that's good for the kid and of course it would reverberate throughout the entire complex the people that have and i i believe it's a kind of stupidity like the no situational awareness like literally we're having a screaming match when clearly everyone can hear us i'm glad you mentioned that because one this happened a lot as you can imagine we live there for two and a half three years what at one point it became too much for for christy to bear and christy marched herself up the stairs to their unit and as they're yelling and screaming they're screaming and throwing what sounds like pots and pans um she bangs on their door and it all stops and all silence and she bangs on the door again she goes excuse me it's your downstairs neighbor and silence she goes we can hear you and she's saying loud like we could i was trying to communicate we can we can hear you guys please stop yelling and throwing things nothing more the rest of the night we got up the next morning an apology note right inside our doors we're very embarrassed because you've been good for two years how embarrassed can you be well the apology note is that we're very embarrassed because we're very embarrassed because we're very embarrassed is still a move toward the light yeah i got a note chris has a note that was on his car from uh one of my other neighbors by the way uh this neighbor this neighbor who chris parked in front of by the way in the when i was explaining to you guys like eventually i have to tell these people to fuck off because um olga eventually told this middle-aged woman just fuck off no more talking to me i i i have a car i park it on the street it's illegal you're not allowed to come out you're not allowed to call like like literally like a building inspector was coming to my house to look at something else like i was doing a kitchen remod and she was like trying to flag him down like hey tell these people they can't park on the street and he was like that's not my job and they can park on the street how do you make it to 63 years old and go this is ancient burial ground yes what i've claimed this in the name of spain it's a street i've annexed it my flag is here there's no signs up for street sweeper there's nothing it's just it's called a street and you're allowed to park on it it's not your street uh sorry the the note so chris you got multiple notes from this yeah i did so we we were at a practice for long beach grand prix so i came over your house and we all uh took one car over but while we're at the practice i'm getting a text from rob who's working on your house saying this lady left a note i took it off she left another one i took it off she left another one and then uh we uh and then we uh got back to your house at night and we pull up and uh i get in my car i turn the headlights on she's standing right in front of my car that's a horror movie 10 o'clock at night yeah all in one day and the note says this is a weekday with no action tuesday morning there's nobody coming or going there's not a block party there's no it's not like my daughter's back in town or the movers have showed up he's parked on the street part of his bumper goes into this five foot wide walkway and it doesn't driveway doesn't obstruct anything in any way it's a curb it's like please don't park your car right in front of the walkway well it's not right in front of the walkway it's not right in front of the walkway it makes it difficult for my guests to use but what guests are we talking about and also there's a driveway you just walk up the driveway can't access the house when you go hey marta where are you i kept driving i came by i tried to i i i looked and looked for a place to walk up i thought i could get a cherry picker and lower myself into the chimney but uh turns out you got a you got a fire shelf there and i couldn't make it in so i drove home jesus fucking christ and like she was waiting outside the house waiting because the pounce because i dropped because i dropped them off at 10 he dove into the car and she was there i mean it wasn't 12 seconds so did you know i i expected to confront her just because i'm always anxious about that stuff anyway and i still just got in push the start button before i even close the door and second the headlights go on she's right in front of me did she knock on the window oh yeah she yeah she just yeah she did she came up to my car i'm like just looking straight like god god this is all day this is literally you spending the entire day in the car and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my just staring out the window waiting when to pounce this is rule number one always home yeah always home ready to pounce and rule number two is like what are these people doing living their lives without my permission how dare you like who's doing what and how come i wasn't consulting yeah jesus christ you reminded me of another incident involving my super shitty neighbor who shady not shitty he was shitty but shady who didn't pay his bills i had multiple multiple accounts being sent to his house uh we had the downstairs unit right alongside you know how la apartments have like you know the driveway to go back to the carport we're right by the driveway and we hear i don't know some sort of banging or banging or mechanical you know clicking whatever blah blah middle of the night uh you know midnight whatever it is and all of a sudden uh we uh we we hear our neighbor yelling out the window hey what are you guys doing my car the the right back is being repossessed yeah we've had that we had a neighbor is repossessed in our in our alley are there they have any shitty people shitty adults yeah are you guys are you guys overwhelmed on how many dumb fuck shitty unreasonable piece of shit adults there are i've always said this like i think at one point that was broken with me i never knew adults would be this stupid when i was 11 that guy's an adult he's got a car he's a pharmacist or he's an engineer like whatever it is after high school i had no idea i'm gonna be unreasonable fucking dumb and super entitled which i don't think was around when i was a kid now everyone's been creatined up with entitlement all right gina go uh heat up bye your uh delectable offerings all right uh we'll take a uh quick break and uh we'll do eat your feelings right after this it's time to check adam's voicemail adam it's ryan in chicago exciting news sid and marty croft will be honored with a star on the hollywood walk of fame on february 13th thought you might like to know mahalo you can leave us a message at 888-634-1744 oh man finally the genius of sid and marty croft you're looking at the people like taking a pickaxe to donald trump's star and you're like hey come over here they've ruined more childhoods than ethnic cleansing they really have and i know that sounds like an extreme right example but but think about how many people saw those that's right ethnic cleansing is you know it's it's few and far between it's devastating when it comes about but it's not world this was everywhere this was an epidemic sid marty croft far out space nuts and all their nonsense nuts they're sigmund in the sea monsters oh just junk junk land of the lost and never it didn't i when you started talking about this i had no idea we were talking about because it didn't stand the test of time it didn't go into repeats it wasn't like forced upon my generation like you know flintstones were maybe or you know those kinds of things scooby-doo i guess all right well maybe i should show up there i should show your respects oh you know what i should do you know what i'd like to do i see those groups you know i sit around and i watch this and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna like tmz and stuff like that and i go jessica simpson was doing a tour lecturing about her book she's got a new book coming out and then at some at some point some nutty broads jump up in the audience you go first murder first murder like holding up signs and they're yelling first murder and there's a part of me that go ah those broads are nutty but there's another part of me it goes wait a minute how come i don't get to be in a group like what's my group i'm gonna get them on to me you know what i mean like show up and you know what i'm thinking here's what i'm thinking more i'm not really into fur you know one way or the other i'm not going to be taking a cruise on the rainbow warrior or any of that kind of stuff i'm not i don't have a lot of black lives matter i don't have a blue lives matter i'm not i'm not a tribe of the cause base but what if my thing like uh what pita does like with the fur and stuff what if i dumped buckets of red paint on undeserving talents who are getting a start in the industry oh like when city when sid and marty croft and those two colossal old hacks come doddering up to get their fucking thing i just come running out yelling you ruined my childhood i get middle-aged chicks that cry with me and your your form of art is junk you poison my brain of a mock funeral for your childhood yeah i do it i do it like when the guy from dow chemical is you know giving a speech and someone goes you poison the water i go you poison my brain yeah with your your horrible art i think you could get a substantial number of people behind this give me imdb on sid and marty croft and then what's the date because i may show up tomorrow it's today oh today today all right let's let's bring it home then i gotta get my bucket of paint well why not protest their horrible art no that's reasonable someone walking around looking like corella deville that makes no never mind to me but my boy my brain has been permanently poisoned by sid and marty croft we're hailing them as heroes by the way would you like to hear the entire theme song for land of the lost because it's in my bean i can't get it out really rather not i can do the whole song i can't do the pledge of allegiance i can't do grand old flag but i can do land of the law do god bless america can't do it america the beautiful nope what america the beautiful amber waves are green home on the range i can do the bugaloos theme song i can do the lidsville theme song i can do sigmund and sea monster uh the lost saucer i can't do far out space nuts land the lost electoral woman and dinah girl jesus they're just a never-ending they're just a hamper of shit that was bottomless and that's all they did and and again their their chances of doing anything today are right up there with uh bob koozie getting back into the league it's a different game it's a different game it's good so sorry i'm angry shall we what do you got gina grads your feelings brought to you by butcher box she could not stop beating the sugar and the grains then our friend betty held her lose the weight she gained now she's cooking healthy meals at night and ever since what do you think so far shot of that artichoke in there good and the pesto with the part with what's in there what cheese is in there parmesan the pesto is toasted pine nuts basil olive oil parmesan and garlic now you're talking dawson says no room for parmesan i like it begs to differ i know i like it a lot um so i uh i was inspired by um a pta meeting we had to go to and i we had to get a tray of those like pinwheel sandwiches and i was like well i can't eat these my fiance can't eat these so i was like what if i just made a pinwheel made of meat that sounds like something we could all enjoy that's a picture i took a meat wheel a meat wheel so i made these pesto chicken roll-ups uh just took the chicken breast pounded it flat with a meat tenderizer moisturizer put pesto on both sides homemade pesto all the ingredients all the directions are on my website grainfreecomfortfood.com super easy and um you just nothing sounds difficult no very difficult and complex um so you just put pesto on both sides of the chicken breast once it's flat and once it's pounded out you take i like i was like what would be a nice mediterranean complementary vegetable i chose artichoke hearts and a little bit of um cherry pepper pimento and rolled them all up cooked them for about a half an hour and it's done so i like to cut them in half because i like to be able to see the middle and it's just something uh a little different and i didn't always like pesto but i really like it now and chicken breast is pretty flavorless so i thought this would be nice to to complement didn't like pesto i didn't like pesto i like marinara and i like cream sauces didn't have time for pesto basic bitch i love pesto now and so i've made it with with broiled shrimp and i just thought this would be a good idea and i'm like i'm gonna make it a little bit more delicious and i'm gonna make it a little bit more delicious and i'm gonna make it a little bit more delicious and i'm gonna make it be kind of a fun family night uh really truly not difficult uh meal everyone could make the uh pesto with the parmesan kicks it up into the next good i'm glad here's parmesan's great my biggest argument was against pine nuts did you put those in there i toasted them myself yeah toasted pine nuts and and brought it all together it has a nice fat a nice nuttiness i like it that way with a and i'm glad you guys like it pictures are amazing i see them online and god bless you're doing the lord's work and uh hey man ladies get in the kitchen fellas get in the garage or both get in the kitchen or both get in the garage because i just you know when i hear you talk about this and i see your like level of engagement you know people need engagement i think that's what's going on we're doing like kind of a passive engagement which is like i'm watching c-span and getting angry boy am i pissed but that's not really engagement it's sort of a your relationship to the pieces and the parts that need to be toasted and pulverized and crushed and it keeps you in the moment it clears your head it's very therapeutic i have a great time doing it and i'll tell you the people that dm me the most well those are dick pics but the second most are dudes mostly telling me i've never cooked before in my life i just made this for my wife my girlfriend it was a huge success so that's me i haven't been cooking forever at all we're all just kind of in this together these are good basic starter recipes and i'm glad everybody likes them and um i like what is behind i i like the engine behind cooking for people you know i was just i've always realized that that's kind of jimmy so he's a very caring person and he likes to be like of service and that's why he likes cooking he doesn't like cooking because he likes cooking he likes cooking as he likes offering things to people and go try this and we were literally i was just looking at a text from him and andrew yang at the same time but um he he's like i'm coming to see him interview uh huey lewis tonight at the grammy museum and downtown and august is coming and huey you know whatever and then he's like we should go out and eat afterward and then it's like okay and then he of course is like i found a korean barbecue place we're going for korean barbecue that's his thing like i want to make you happy yeah i'm gonna set it up and you know he's paying my god win win win yeah it's just it's a good gene to have there's also the opposite of that gene it's like fuck it hey good dude fix yourself let's do what you want like i i used to say to my mom all the time i'd go there's nothing to eat in the house and she'd always go if you're hungry you'll eat and then she'd like walk out of the room which is the exact opposite of the jimmy yeah okay i'm gonna take tarragon and uh i'm gonna take uh pepper and i'm gonna take uh cocoa powder unsweetened and i'm gonna mix it where's my mortar and pestle mom so i can make myself some fucking dinner yep like it's the it's the exact opposite of that gearing and that's and my jewish grandfather would be like oh come have partake you know right and that's the thing that we we do with a kid because of course you're gonna sit down with a four-year-old and he's gonna go why fill in the blank i don't want chicken i don't want this i don't want that but i know he's gonna look back and go when he's with us there's always a home-cooked meal and we always eat together and i hope he remembers that when he gets older i don't i don't think people fully realize the all the implications of cooking and what that means well beyond food caloric intake and nutritional value i i can tell you my mom's version of that didn't exist in a bubble that was their entire right it wasn't it wasn't like well jimmy's this way with food but if you want to borrow 10 bucks good luck or if you want some we want them to help you out on a project good luck you're on your own like no no it's an all-encompassing kind of way right gestalt a way of being you know i think people don't realize it but it's a nice way to present that you know it's it's it's it's it's it's almost a concrete way of being you know i think people don't realize it but it's a nice way to present that you know way of going here's who i am you know i mean absolutely and then what happens is is those young people they don't sit around and wax poetic about oh my favorite grub hub driver was named uh jose i think that guy would bring me the most man i remember that guy once oh i miss that guy i told him uh del taco and then we struck up a conversation about noggles coming back it was magical i'll never forget it that's why i became a physician right no there's none of that it's all about what mama made but could also be about what mama didn't make that's right so uh you have all podcasts about them just you're listening mama and john mayer if you're listening i got a new song for you just as an addendum since valentine's day is tomorrow i say fat most years to booking a reservation with that horrible prefix menu this actually might not be a bad valentine's day dinner so um go on the website grainfree comfort food.com or on instagram and and pick something to make at home because it really is more of a special night and you're not wasting money on a prefix that you didn't want anyway one max right down uh how uh not for today but brad williams made off with my filet mignon what from uh saturday night it's an issue all right i told mike i wanted it back but so far not heard from him so far not heard from him so far not heard from him i don't know why yeah it's a very sad state of affairs for the ace man you just remind me to tell you that story tomorrow can't wait all right um let's see we'll take a break uh britney who i saw furlan lee tommy lee's new wife um i saw backstage with tommy at the gore hills canyon gore hills canyon club tommy look my face i'll uh do a one-on-one with her we'll do that very interesting woman right after this britney furlan lee is here i saw her last at the gore hills uh canyon club um she's got a movie to plug got a podcast to plug we'll talk about uh that there's this photo i'm dead backstage and uh i just watched the doc american meme which is very interesting uh that sort of chronicled a few people britney was was one of them yeah it was very insightful and interesting 94 on rotten tomatoes up on netflix if people want to take a glimpse in that world uh spy intervention is the name of the movie and it's available on digital on demand select theaters starting tomorrow and uh the podcast worse first with britney furlan as well we'll talk about all that uh but let's first talk about you and how you uh got into this world oh my god i mean in the doc they showed you had a tough although i don't know how much of it was tough and how much of it is self-imposed i don't mean to sound like a douche but i mean your family was a little fucked up but reasonably sort of something i know your mom was bad it's pretty fucked up what was your mom definitely like um your dad seemed okay my dad raised me so my mom and my parents got divorced when i was really young and my mom just is kind of i mean uh we'll have to be careful what i say because i don't want to it's in the dark get sued by my mom but yeah um it's you know it was a complicated childhood it was a lot of violence a lot of uh fighting a lot of um just really ridiculous stuff that shouldn't like a young child shouldn't have to go through and um i think it kind of just set me up for a lot of what i ended up dealing with later in my life like a lot of anxiety and a lot of like depression and i mean it's just been like a crazy ride but i i'm so grateful that i was put into therapy and stuff like right away so i was able to kind of get at it right away before you know it got really bad so right yeah yeah i mean so just for people to know um for a period of time you're the most followed female on vine until they they shut down yeah how many i don't know seven eight million i had 10 million followers on vine yeah so i i mean i so i kind of I kind of had this crazy childhood. I mean, a lot of people have obviously just some really traumatic, really bad stuff. I won't go into detail. But yeah, so then my dad raised me. It was just my dad and my brother. And my dad was kind of this, you know, funny, goofy guy. And my brother was really funny. And so I kind of grew up laughing and trying to like, you know, use comedy to kind of live my life and cope with everything in my life and what was absent in my life. And so I was like class clown. I did theater, all this stuff. And then I was like, Oh, I want to go to LA when I graduate. And I want to do comedy. And I want to do movies and TV. And that's what I want to do. And so when I was 17, I packed up all my stuff. And I went to LA. And I struggled for a really long time because I had no money. I was broke. You know, people were like, join Groundlings or do UCB or whatever. And I was meeting all these people that were doing that stuff, but I couldn't even afford it. I couldn't even afford like $400 a month for classes. I was just like, All right, well, I'll just hang out with you guys and maybe learn some stuff. And then I was doing open mics, like, you know, comedy store, improv and all that stuff. And when I was starting, it's so funny, because the people that I was with when I was starting are all like huge, successful people. And that was like Chris D'Elia was starting and, you know, Gerard Carmichael and like, Esther Bavitsky at the comedy store. And like, we're all doing open mics and stuff like that. And then I started dating. I started dating a stand up. And then the stand up that I started dating was like, Well, I don't want us both to do stand up. It's too competitive. Really? Yeah. And so I was like, My feeling is like, well, then be better at stand up. Right. But I was so insecure and just wanted to be loved, which is like all the childhood shit. So I was like, Okay, yeah, I'll stop doing stand up and you can do it and I will go to improv. And so I started like hanging out with improv people making videos, whatever. And then, you know, a couple years later, Vine came out and took off. Can you ever the fucked up mom? Yeah. I got a fucked up mom to yours is a little more proactive. It's a little more docile. But either way, the fucked up mom that does that that leaves a mark. It really does. Dad is bad. But fucked up mom leaves a mark, right? Well, because you don't have that nurturing. You never got that. Well, I never got that nurturing. Like, you'll be okay. I love you no matter what. I check in with you. I hug you. I kiss you like kind of thing. It was always like, you know, okay, for instance, I'm probably gonna get so much hate for drama from this. But like, so this is an example. So I remember being like five years old, and getting a bath. And my mom was giving me a bath. And she was like, Do you think I should leave your father? Right. And I was five. And I was like, I don't know, like, I'm five, dude. And you're giving me a bath. And then she's like, his giant horse cock just doesn't fit inside of me. And really, and blah, blah, blah. And like, just that's like an example of just like, the kind of bullshit that I that's like a and that's like the light, lighter version. It's like, I'm like five. And I'm like, Oh, horse cock. What even? Oh, like, but I've always said, when a guy abandons the family, the father, the husband, or is sort of checked out, or maybe even verbally abusive or something. It doesn't mean he's nuts. It just means he's kind of a bad dad or self, selfish or self centered or whatever. Right? When the mom is that way. She's nuts. Yeah, there's issues. Yeah, there's an issue. Yeah, there's a million and one examples of where's your dad, he moved to Florida when I was 11. I never saw him again. He's a bad guy, but he's not nuts. Mama who left, like when you talk to people like Tucker Carlson, his mom just abandoned the family. That woman is nuts. There's something deeply wrong. Well, I think some women just don't have that maternal instinct. And it's like, that's what kind of makes them like they don't care. It's like all about them. But usually, usually, they experience some form of abuse. Yeah. And that's why I like I kind of don't get into it because she had a traumatic childhood. So whenever I talk about like what happened with me, I'm like, well, she went through it. Her, you know, her father cheated on my grandmother all the time, you know, and like, she was left at home with my grandfather at night. And my grandmother worked nights at the hospital. And my grandfather would leave my mom at like three and the house by herself to go cheat on my grandma, you know, just like crazy shit. Chaos. Chaos. Yeah. And so many people replicate that. Yeah, just go into another relationship. And they just do it again. Right. And then becomes generational. And then they blame like, oh, I didn't have a good childhood. So, you know, that's the reason why. And like, my childhood was fucked up. And that's kind of like what I get when I when I talk about it. She doesn't like me talking about it. But I'm like, I'm just, it's true. Like, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. But how do you not replicate that chaos? How do I not? Yeah, well, I did a lot. I did a lot of self work that my mother didn't do and doesn't do. Like, I don't know now if she's in therapy. She said she's in therapy and working on herself. And like, who knows on Medicaid. Or not, hopefully. My dad got me into therapy literally as soon as my parents got divorced, which was when I was like, five, six years old. And, and what happened was, is I started developing OCD. So I don't know what from the stress I think I was going through was like, I don't know if you know about this. But basically, like, if I had to go downstairs, I would have to touch my turn my lights like on and off eight times. And then I could go downstairs. And if I didn't, then like my whole family would die. And, you know, if I didn't unplug the blow dryer eight times, then the blow dryer was going to catch on fire and the whole house was going to burn down. And so I started doing these rituals, right? Do you? I have a little bit of that. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I find myself counting things. Yeah, counting is part of it, too. Yeah. Like, if you're in a room, you just start counting all the tiles, like how many tiles are here and that kind of thing, or how many dots? Yeah. Yeah. Little. I'm not. It's not bad for me, but little rituals. Mm hmm. That usually try to get me to do more than I was doing or something like that. But I don't know if it's a trauma of a bad mom that brings brings a little that out. I mean, I just think it's any trauma. I think when you're a child and you're being exposed to things that children should not be exposed to, it's going to create issues. I mean, I didn't all of a sudden, like, you know, I'm literally a little kid. I don't know about OCD. And all of a sudden in my body, I have this feeling that it's going to create issues. If I don't, you know, if I bump into somebody and don't bump them eight more times, then part of their germs are going to go into me and I'm going to become them. So you come out, you start, you become this fine superstar. And well, it's true. And you can get paid a lot of money. I was making so much money. Yeah. Well, how much money can you make? So something like that. I worked with so many huge brands. I worked with like Wendy's. I worked with Domino's. I worked with. Procter and Gamble and did a bunch of their brands, Benefit Cosmetics. When I was at like 10 million followers, I was making like $100,000 for a sponsored video. And that's a six second video. And how many of those would you do per week or month or whatever? Well, I would usually get one branded video a month. And that was like one really good year when I would like do and sometimes two, but it was usually one. But then obviously this. Pressure to churn out material. Yeah. It's interesting because I have thoughts about it as well. You know, it's like Johnny Carson would go to the Tonight Show. He'd roll up there at 530. You know, he'd start taping at seven and he'd do the show, smoke a cigarette, drive back to Malibu or go across the street to Chadney's or whatever it was and have a steak and then go home. There wasn't this sense of like, what are you creating? You get home. Or what about the drive home? Or what about the walk to Chadney's? Or then what about a quick shot after the show? Some backstage, you know, whatever. So this 24-7, the lights are always on. The door's never locked. It's a 7-Eleven. It's not closed Sundays. There's no holidays. It's just as much material as you can churn out, you churn. And when you're not doing it, you're thinking, I'm falling behind. Yeah, you do. Someone's going ahead of me. And so then you get sucked into this weird treadmill. Yeah, like a hamster. Right. Like a shitty hamster wheel. And the way show business used to work is, you know, shows would just be on sabbatical. Like we're going to do, we do 11 episodes and then we're dark. There's no dark time anymore. No, there's no dark time. On the internet, there's not. You have to impose darkness on yourself, essentially. Yeah, I have to like take breaks. I mean, my husband's like, would love me to take more breaks. More breaks from my phone. You know, obviously, I make all my money off of my social media. So it's my job. Yeah. So I'm constantly in the rat race, per se, with all these other people that are constantly putting out videos every single day. It's a new video every single day. It's a new meme or it's a new this or it's a new that. And so I'm, you know, I have to keep up with that. Or, you know, I fall, I do fall behind, you know, I mean, just on Vine, like I had 9.8, 9.9 million, 10 million followers. followers, we'll call it. And when I left Vine, I went to Instagram, but I didn't didn't tell everyone oh come follow me on instagram right but all the other viners did and they had some people on vine that had less of a following than me now have like 20 million followers on instagram because they went and were like hey come follow me on this like i you know and promoted the shit out of it and i just didn't think that way i was kind of like oh it's over and like that was fun and i'm just gonna keep doing instagram people that wanted to find me on there could find me you know and it just it's just non-stop though it really is well look you're gonna have to govern yourself i do yeah i do now yeah and tommy lee who is um he's always struck me as one of the most sincere guys ever he's really sweet and sweet and almost childlike he's a child he's a child right like i know him a bit i don't know him he's licking my face i don't i i don't you know i'm not one of these guys who goes i'm friends with tommy lee because i'm not friends with him but i know him he loves you and he has got such a childlike sort of spirit to him like it's it's super sweet it's super authentic yeah and it it exudes when you get around him yeah you get that feeling it's beautiful that's like part of what made me fall in love with him what is that like who i don't know anybody is that way like i know good dudes i know generous people but i don't know that weird sort of it's like a child he's like the he's the most like euphoric giddy um he is like his personality i would say is like he's a 17 forever 17 year old boy yeah he ain't goth he's like 17 you know schools out for summer right kind of 17 and like fun and has all this energy i mean he wakes up at 8 a.m every day even on weekends he goes running he does boxing he you know he cooks himself breakfast and he's like i don't know what's going on he's like i don't know what's going on he's like i don't know what's going on he's like i don't know what's going on he's like i don't know what's going on and he's all happy and cheery and has and then he could stay up till like 2 a.m like he has this like exponential amount of energy it's kind of weird i do believe it's something everyone can work on but what he has is a wiring and he doesn't take anything he's not on an antidepressant he doesn't do any drugs like he doesn't even drink anymore he's just him yes kind of amazing i mean especially me because i take an antidepressant and i'm like god i would kill to fucking want to wake up at 8 a.m and i'm like i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on and like go for a run right now just to have that feeling to be like oh i need to run it'd be great you know yeah yeah i'm i'm envious and i and i i those same people i know i i call it's the people want to go to the wine swim 100 laps at 6 a.m like what the fuck i don't get it i don't get it either i'm gonna go on a limb and say we have a sense of humor and thus we're night owls and we think in a different way it's better to be awake at night i think no well they've studied sleep patterns and personalities and types i've talked to doctors about this and uh there are people that are genetically wired to get up in the morning and there are people that are genetically wired to stay up at night and there's a few different encoded kind of wiring and i don't think it's a coincidence that comedy clubs aren't open at noon you know what i mean like this shit all takes place at night into the wee hours you know people are up on stage at 1 30 in the morning like i was at the comedy store a night ago or whatever and it's like i was looking down the list like so and so 1 30 you know like yeah and there's people in the audience so the fact that it is it's called a night club yeah yeah not a morning club yeah yeah right it's it's there for a reason it attracts those people right and uh maybe we're those people i think so i think i've i mean i've always been that way since high school like i've been i will stay up i just i get become alive at like 9 p.m like that's when i finally wake up and then i'm like i'll stay up until like three or four just right but you have to i think the key is you can be whatever kind of person you want to be unfortunately life is going to impose a schedule yeah i hate that and if it's like there's one flight and it's the only flight that goes to milwaukee and it leaves lax at 7 a.m well then guess what night person get the fuck up yeah no that's the worst i mean it's so funny because we're talking about this movie spy intervention that i'm doing and it's such a fun movie it's an indie movie and we shot it in new york state and i remember like i love doing films i love acting that's like what i came out here to do right so i love it but then it's so funny because at you know when you're doing films and tv and stuff it's you have to get up so early i mean i had to be on set some days oh i had to be on set some days at like 5 30 a.m and i'm just like what the fuck like it's so not me and no matter how much melatonin i take the night before i'm just like fuck i can't go to sleep like it's just not my schedule you know what i mean yeah but i would get up and do it but i was just like god like can we just do night shoots like it would be so much more convenient honestly the early bird shit fucks me up it really does completely great it was fun i don't think i don't i think one thing i've learned is you're not supposed to do night shoots you're supposed to do night shoots you're supposed to take melatonin it's not good for it doesn't put you asleep oh it can keep you asleep but i i think magnesium is what you're okay i think you're shooting for as well it's it's a curse i'm the exact same way can't shut it off and it's but look some people never turn it on so at least you got something to try to shut down i try to think about that when i'm like you know i'm like god i'm so jealous of these people that are so proactive they don't take anything they're just fucking living their lives i'm like hey but at least i like have a sense of humor you know at least i have that look you got a you have a motor and a lot of people are what we call flat liners there's nothing there so you have that so that's good now what we have to do i think a motor it's like it's like a firearm it's like a pistol like is it good or is it bad and the question is who's holding it is it a gangbanger is it a cop like who's holding it i mean like is a bank robber is it security right your motor can be used for good or can be used for good or can be used for bad and the question is who's holding it is it a gangbanger use for evil true it it can turn on yourself or you can be jimmy kimmel and be always out there you know creating and producing and and always smiling and laughing and using that motor my face would hurt like just always like hey it's so good to see you it's good to see everybody yeah all the time i'm gonna see him tonight be happy to see him i mean honestly i i watch talk shows and just the fact that they just laugh at everything that people say even when it's not funny i'm just like god it's painful i i couldn't do it no i couldn't do it i couldn't be like oh yeah that's great you know i couldn't do it he's genetically gracious yes that's who he is okay that's nice i'm not yeah you're not either not at all if someone says something that's not funny i'm just gonna be like okay cool anyway it would be the worst late night host just making people feel like shit all the time nice try buddy so um the feeling and uh i have a lot of thoughts about this subject okay the subject is moving backwards okay and the folks that never had any success in their life are like constantly pushing okay to try to find some success true uh the folks you and i are in this same category are we well you had 10 million followers i had you know two shows on cable tv yeah but you're traditionally famous i'm internet famous that's so different you're like a real famous person i'm like one of those famous people that are like oh yeah she had a bunch of followers like no one cares well to be fair to you and and and and um and uh i should say not fair to me look i run into people all the time they'll go like you know hey what are you up to these days you know and i'll go i'm doing a podcast or whatever writing a book and i'll go like oh okay hey buddy kibble's killing it man and dead there is that there's a lot of that yeah you gotta deal with it i mean that's how that's show business okay but let's be honest if you died right now and i died you would be on the news i wouldn't probably be anywhere maybe perez hilton would wait a minute what if you killed me i bet you'd get some coverage then chris you got kitchen can somebody let me stab adam so i can just get some press i'm just kidding um but no i'm being serious like that's how you i could feel like no name kills national treasure news at six seriously they'd be like that internet chick i guess the vine girl vine star murders adam corolla wife of tommy lee exactly not even a name dead i mean i'm honest about it it's whatever there's so many people famous on the internet now it's becoming like it's like who cares well i mean i'm looking here at uh time declared you to be one of the most influential people on the internet 2015 obama barack obama kim kardashian yeah with justin bieber so the job is to get up every day yeah and to sort of pedal that bike but to not obsess over who's in front of you or who's behind you you just get up and pedal the bike that's the goal not to compare right and not to compete you're in your own lane you're not right you're not against anyone you're not racing anyone and and and for you you're married to uh a baby man And child. Who makes money. Yeah. He's very successful. Yeah. Right. Now, I don't know what Tommy's income is, but you don't need to work, do you? I don't need to. You don't need to. But also, I got married and everything stays the same. I pay my own bills. I pay, you know, car insurance, health insurance, everything for myself, my phone bill. I never once was expecting that just because I'm marrying someone who makes a lot of money that I'm going to all of a sudden get a free ride. And that's what's funny. A lot of people are like, oh, you're a gold digger. I'm like, bitch, I pay all my own shit. The only thing I don't pay is rent because it's not my house. You know, it's my husband's house. You know, it's his house. He bought it with his money. It belongs to him. What's the majority or the lion's share of Tommy's income? What do you mean by that? Is it royalties? Is it touring? Is it producing? Is it playing? Like. OK, so Motley Crue is really real. They were really smart when they were with Elektra Records and they were leaving them. They they demanded Elektra was, you know, they had some disagreements in that. And Elektra was owned all their songs. And then they said, OK, well, we'll leave early and give you back whatever if you just give us our rights and our back to our songs, our ownership. Right. So they're one of the only bands that own their music and they own their, you know, their catalog, which is worth so much money. Like so, so much money. So he constantly, you know, whenever someone plays a Motley song or whatever on TV, he gets like thousands and thousands of dollars for that. So he's got mailbox money. Yes. He doesn't have to do anything, to be honest. But he is so proactive and he's still so healthy and, you know, you know, obviously tons of fucking energy. So they're doing this tour. You hear about it? The stadium tour. I heard something about it. Yeah. So they're going on tour again with freaking. I think it's a Def Leppard, Joan Jett and Poison and Motley Crue. It's going to be fucking insane. It's already sold out. The thing's not till June. It's like sold out in like 40 states. And do you go along with him on the tour? I've never gone along, but I'm going to go along for this one. I'm going to check it out. Have you figured out the accommodations? Like, how's it work? Do we fly in first class? We have a private jet. Do we have a jet that we lease out for the whole tour? They've done that. They've done that. They have a, they all get these crazy buses because that's the easiest way. So like they'll fly to like wherever the show starts. I think it starts in Florida or Miami. Right. And I think what they do is they'll all fly there and the bus meets them there. And then they kind of venture their way back to Los Angeles on the bus. And so you take a bus and you know, you get like two or three days off here and there. But for the most part, it's like he said, it's like perform, you know, get on the bus, sleep, and then you wake up in the next state or city. Then you perform again. And it's like back to back to back. And they get like sometimes a day or two off in between. So it's pretty gnarly for like three months straight. And I'm excited. I think it's going to be fun. I'm like never gone done this before. Yeah, it's, it's, it's exciting and grueling. I think it's so I was like, aren't you tired? Like playing for fucking two hours a night, just beating on drums. And then you go to sleep. And then the next night you got to do it again. Like, aren't you sore? Like, I don't know how he does it. He's like a machine. They're probably going to what take turns headlining or rotating or whatever. I think Def Leppard and them switch back and forth between who's headlining. But then, then it's like Poison and Joan Jett play, I think, at like 40 or 50 minutes. I don't know. I don't know how it works. But yeah, so you know how it is. It's like, they're all these big bands all sharing a stage, which is insane. I mean, and, and I went to the press conference. And I mean, everyone's like, they're so ready. I mean, like Brett. Michael still looks great. Like Joan Jett looks great. They're all still loving performing. So it's going to be a crazy show. You should come. All right. The L.A. show. Yeah. When you do that. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to go. Yeah. So you have this childhood that's less than enviable. Right. You come out here at 17, which is really young. Right. Especially a girl coming out to this place. By yourself. By yourself. And I moved to downtown L.A. And this was 2005 downtown when there was nothing. There wasn't even a grocery store. Yeah. I don't know what year. What year is a Staples Center built? Around then? I think the Staples Center was there, but it was like there was like nowhere to eat. People don't realize downtown was scary, vacant, Omega man shit. Like there wasn't anything going on. It was weird. It was like apocalypse now. Yeah. There was, it was just nothing going on and dicey and weird and not sort of what it is. Staples Center opened in 99, but it sort of began the process of rejuvenating downtown. And now it's awesome. Right. But you were there during a scary time. Yeah. Because I thought downtown L.A. was like New York City. Right. I thought, oh, that's where I need to be. Right. I had no idea. No. Yeah. So you, you have a resilience and a kind of a core toughness and the motor we talked about. Mm-hmm. And you also have the. Mm-hmm. You have the experience. Yeah. Like you have the been there, done that, highs and lows to reflect on. So you're sort of well-equipped at this point. Yeah. You've also done a lot of therapy and self-reflection and. And still doing a lot of therapy. And you're, you're in good shape for the next step. Yeah. I mean, I'd like to think so. It's not like I don't have my days. Like there'll be days where I wake up and I'm like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that? Am I dying? Like I get like a weird. Pain somewhere. Do you ever have that happen? No. You wake up and get like a shooting pain in one part of your body and you're like, oh, this is it. It's an interesting thing. I, I'm curious. I think if you grow up with a mom that's not nurturing and doesn't really pay any attention to you or whatever. Yeah. You can either go into a slightly hypochondriac mode. Oh, for sure. Or you can go into my mode, which is like, nah, don't care. You don't care. Don't care about anything. You're not scared of dying. I don't have any thoughts. I don't have any thoughts about my health. At all. No, I mean, I don't have concern for my well-being. No fear. I just, I have a high threshold for pain and I don't think about that. Do you feel good most days? Like you feel regular, like you don't feel like anything's wrong. You don't get hot flashes. You don't, you know, get a fast heart rate, nothing like that. I'm trying to think. I, you know, I do think about, well, how do you, how do you feel? And you go, well, I don't know. How's everyone else feel? Like, I, I don't know. I don't have a yardstick to measure other people's, I don't know where the starting point is. Like, can we set a mark for how everyone feels? And then I would know if I feel good or bad. Well, if you're not thinking about how you feel, if it's not coming to your mind, like the forefront of your mind, you're probably good. Because the thing is with me is I constantly have like, my body has like physical reactions to anxiety or stress. And so then I'm constantly thinking about it because I'm like checking, doing a lot of checking. And like, oh God, I'm like, my heart's beating really fast. And like, then I'll start thinking about that and that kind of thing. But if you're just living your life and you're not even worried about it, like you're not worried about like, oh, I'm feeling hot or my hands are numb or whatever, you're good. I think you're good. I, I, I think there's a danger in checking your own gauges. Oh, for sure. Too often. Oh, for sure. Like am I running hot? Am I running cold? Am I oil pressure too high? Like what's the RPM at? Like if you're just staring at your dashboard of life all the time. Waiting to overheat or blow a gasket or something. I like cars. But the point is, is you have to kind of, when I race cars, there'll be a gauge and it'll be a water temp gauge, you know, and, and there'll be a little sticker on it and it'll be like, if it starts getting above 220, it's, it's gonna, it's getting into a bad zone. Right. So you wanted it between 190 and 200 or something like that. But if it's hard. And then, so. So you do your race and when you're on a straightaway and there's not people around you so close and whatever, and everything's vibrating, making a lot of noise and stuff, but you will look down. Right. You can, you can glance and check the needle and see where it's at. But if you just stare at it, you'll crash. Yeah. And it's kind of a metaphor, but it's like the gauge is there and you should check the gauge, but just glance at it and then back to, back to the task at hand, like getting around the next corner fast. Here's the thing that sucks for me is that I have like a very severe anxiety disorder. So I'll wake up sometimes because my heart is pounding out of my chest. And then I have like an app that my doctor was like, oh, just download this app and make sure that it's not over, you know, your heart's not beating over 130 or 40 or whatever. Right. And sometimes it is for no reason. Like I'll just wake up out of sleep and my heart will be literally beating like 150, you know, beats per minute, 140. Like I just ran or something. And so that's the kind of thing that happens to me. It's not like I'm. It's not like I'm. It's not like I'm looking for it. It's like it'll just happen. And then I'm like stuck and I'm like, fuck. And I'm freaking out. I'm like, what do I do? And it's, it's weird. It's like, it just happens. And I have an answer for you. What is your answer? Valium? No, I think I'm pretty sure I can cure your problem. You can. Oh my God. If I just come on your show and you fix me, I'd be so happy. I do. I look, I fixed Dr. Drew when he had a panic attack. I have them all the time. I had one on the way here. I could feel my hands went numb because I was I was tired, I didn't sleep well last night and I was driving started thinking okay i'm really tired right now and my hands my anxiety just manifests physically so my hands literally will go numb like i could stab them with a fork and wouldn't feel it and so i'm sitting there and i'm like fuck i'm fucking having an anxiety attack and i'm trying not to think about it you know and i'll i do all these like things like a deep breathing app i have valium for emergencies but hate taking drugs so i hardly ever take it um and then i do this thing where it's like um mind mindlessness or whatever you just say mindfulness whatever you just say a word over and over and head in your head picture oprah talking about it you just say the word like blank over and over again in your head so you can't keep thinking but i would love to hear how you cured dr drew of his panic attacks well i just yelled at him told him we had had time to get back on stage and perform and he got up and he went and then he was out of his head he wasn't he wasn't left alone with his panic attack yeah he was given marching orders you yelled at him yeah it was sort of like if you were having a panic attack and then all of a sudden you saw like a runaway train like heading at you your panic attack would cease your number one thought was how do i get out of the way of this mountain lion or this whatever like if you were having a panic attack let's just say you're in your living room and you had a panic attack and all of a sudden there was an earthquake you wouldn't be in panic attack anymore you'd be like i gotta find a door jam or i got the the the decorative plates are gonna fall off the top of uh tommy's uh cabinetry and the kitchen you know yeah you'd be somewhere else and like i just yelled at dr drew to get out of his panic attack get the fuck back on stage i'm talking you sit there let's go and i throw him on stage and he stopped having his panic attack but that's not what's going to cure you okay help me what's going to cure me um where are you guys living are you up in the hills calabasas yeah you're in calabasas you got a swimming pool we do you keep it heated during the day or in the winter months no okay should we we can it's a heated pool no are you talking about cold showers and cold punches take that plunge you're like the fifth person that said this to me is it true it'll it'll it it's so good for you physiologically really but it's better for you mentally what does it do it it it gets you first things first uh i do it every morning i everything the first thing it does is it gives you something to do like i gotta get up i gotta do this now there's a there's a part of it like we talk about we're night people right i go to bed at 12 31 o'clock regardless of what the next day holds and and i i do a lot of up at 5 30 meet that thing with the uber to the lax and then the flight that leaves that i do a lot of that so when i go to bed at 12 31 o'clock and the alarm goes off at 5 15 i feel like shit i mean i feel sluggish sluggish as shit and oftentimes that can stay with you throughout the day like this kind of crazy sort of malaise you're in like weird kind of cobwebs like you're not a hundred percent you know and with what we have to do is like you gotta get on a plane you gotta go over to this thing you got to go to this guy's show or whatever and you're like in this weird echo chamber of of of there's there's fog in your head you do a lap underwater in a freezing pool and you pop up the other side you're fucking awake you're fucking awake you're wondering i don't care what time you went to bed the night before and what time the alarm went off this time you pop out like you pop out you big inhale with like the cold water coming off you and you're naked you're fucking 100 awake wow you do that every morning every single morning you throw yourself in the pool i walk in i go down to the deep end i go underwater i go back and i pop up and you're 100 awake now there's a physiological thing that's going on with the cold water it's it's good it's good for inflammation it's good for everything it's like why all the athletes sit in the cold in the cold water tub after the game you know professional like cryotherapy there's a there's a bit of everything but the the main thing is is you have broken yourself you're in charge of you you know because when you have the panic attack that's you out of control that's the panic attack taking charge of you you going in the pool it's like in the documentary and as it happens so often young girls like yourself you end up cutting on yourself that's a way to sort of try to control something negatively but you're trying to control it this is a positive version of you controlling your life and you know the number one answer is it's fucking cold i don't want to do it yeah i know that's that's the deal so cool i hate being cold that's i hate it too that's the deal but it is you physiologically and psychologically just taking control of your life just shocking your system and it just shocked you and also when you're walking when you're walking out and steam's coming out of your mouth in the morning you're not thinking about anything he's just staring at the pool like you're not going oh where's my instagram account or anything you don't have any thoughts other than what you have to do does it work the same if i was to turn my shower on cold and got in a cold shower or no do you have to throw yourself in the pool the thing about the shower because this is what dr drew does okay it leaves the door open for cheating a little bit okay i mean it's kind of like a snack well to a diet like well these are low fat fudge brownie cookies like yeah i know you do but it's cheating it's cheating shout out to snack it's bullshit well we're shouldn't you get a hundred thousand dollars i should get a hundred thousand i'd do it for 80 grand snack well what i'm saying is is it's great but if you're eating fudge you ain't on a diet true this is the the part in the shower you get to control that the temperature and you find yourself being very good to yourself so you do like i'll get some hot water going just get my court up a little bit now i'll give myself a little shot and then i'll bring it back no no no it's got to be freezing cold you got to go for it you got a pool i do you're in calabasas you're in the exact same region i am in terms of outdoor temp it's cold cold at night fucking freezing people don't realize that they think oh you're in california like it's so hot you must be like your tank tops like all the time huh and i'm like no dude it there's like frost sometimes you know people don't realize that now here's the deal yeah there is no negative side effects there's no nothing bad you're not gonna get a cold you're not gonna get anything you'll get nothing and if you'd like the entire journey round trip to be under three minutes it's totally doable you can never do time as an excuse okay so the entire from you walking out that sliding door in the back of your toasty warm hacienda to the time you walk back in with the towel on under beatles song so you don't have to stay in there a certain amount of time just jump in shock your system get out i would walk in the shallow end but with purpose don't ever slow down okay just walk it right in don't stop don't stop go to the deep end go underwater drown myself back in drown yourself oh jesus had a kid drowning his fucking how horrible oh it's horrible that house was built on a indian burial ground that house jesus christ that's such a sad that's where all the horrible most horrible shit happened to him at that house like all this shit malibu malibu yeah yeah horrible he said like they told them when they bought the house that it was a burial ground like you know and you know uh he said that it was just always bad vibes there just always it was just really negative i remember that yeah it's like a kid's party i know and he got in trouble for it but it was crazy because he had like uh he had hired a lifeguard who didn't do their job he hired a lifeguard for the day and the kid the kids what happened was the kid's nanny was like i'm gonna go take uh go check on my dog or something and left the kid there was a kid that was specifically for that you know the nanny for the kid that drowned and the lifeguard and the lifeguard and tommy's like i fucking hired a lifeguard a paid lifeguard to watch everybody and he's a fucking idiot and it's like it was horrible yeah yeah is that 15 years ago god it's got to be more than that because i mean maybe before you came to la oh definitely all right so let's get back to you not drowning in the pool i'm telling you you're tomorrow britney ferling drowns herself told adam carolla told her to unknown actress floating in tommy lee's pool after advice from pod king adam carolla goes awry news at six adam carolla told her to go shocker system dead i love it now do you want to you're never going to follow up on this i what the cold plunge yeah i will i want to i want to do i want to i want to do a like a five day in a row commitment doing yes and see if it's changed my life five days okay now do you go all the way underwater head underwater everything okay you got to get under i'm gonna do it five days i will do it i promise we're gonna you can ask tommy i will do it i'm gonna get up i'm gonna walk myself into the pool drown a little bit and then get out go under go under just go five days in a row okay and see how my panic attacks are i yes you're a mentally tough person well no you're both i mean no no all right i will tell you you're like so weak are you kidding me But you've got a crazy work ethic and you know how to push yourself. You can push yourself. I push myself through it. So I would see you like a 1960s Jaguar, which is beautiful. Oh, thanks. Performance is great, but the wiring's a little tricky. Dead. Truth. It could start raining and your fucking car wouldn't start. So all we got to do is fix the wiring. Okay, cool. I'm down. Then we got the beautiful part. We got the performance part. And then we just work that wiring harness out a little bit. I went and had my brain shocked, and that still didn't even cure it. You are capable of pushing yourself and achieving and being tough on yourself. I'm trying. You do that pool five days in a row. Okay. And no cheating. Get underwater. Wouldn't it be crazy if you fix me? I will. Out of all the money I've spent going to doctors that are just trying to put me on drugs. Just give it to me. I mean, save that money. Adam Carolla changed my life. He told me to go get underwater in a pool. I will change your chemistry. I will fix this for you. Wow. I fixed Dr. Drew. Does he do it every day now? No. He's a pussy. But if he ever has a panic attack, I'll fix him. It's crazy to hear that Dr. Drew has panic attacks. First off, you find out everyone just has their foibles, right? Right. Everybody's human. But not you. You're like, I don't worry about how I feel. I don't worry about dying. I'm just me. I just live my life. I have concerns. I have thoughts. But I don't bury myself in them. You seem normal. I feel like it's too self-indulgent. Yeah. It's counterproductive. Does it make you happy or does it make you money? Try to think about that. Sometimes you can't help it. No, I know. You know? Do you, though? It's like a, I don't know. I wish I could just be like, eh, who fucking cares? And I tell myself that to try to trick myself. Sure. You don't care. Right. And then that little voice in your brain, it's like, no, but you do care. Like, you know, you do. You really care. You know how you can drown out that little voice? Icy cold water coming in your ears. Drowning out that little voice. You're going to shock that little voice. I can't. You're going to drown that voice. I love it. I love it. Five days in a row. I can't wait. I'm going to do it. I know you are. If it works, I'm going to be so happy. It's going to work. Like, it's going to change my life. It's going to work. Okay. Yeah. I'll let you know. Yeah. Okay? Five days in a row. Honor system. I swear. Scouts honor. And Tommy better thank me, too. He should. I mean, it's so funny because I'll have, like, a panic attack out of nowhere. And mine are so crazy. Like, my whole body starts shaking. Where are you physically when you have these attacks? Anywhere. Throw yourself in the pool if you're at home. Yeah. Because my husband doesn't think I'm, like, mental enough. I'm running out and throwing myself in the pool. Your panic attack will cease the second you hit that frosty water. I read to stick your head in the freezer. Really? Yeah. They were like, stick your head. Go stick your head in the freezer. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Wait. Tommy said he read that, right? No. Tommy's just like, what's wrong? Like, what's wrong with you? Tommy's so normal. He's like, why are you shaking? What's wrong? Like, he doesn't get it at all. He has no anxiety. He has no stress. Like, he's just like, I like drums. Like, he's just so regular. He's like you. It was born to drum. I tell people this. I use it. You can tell Tommy. Yeah. I say this all the time. Um, it's funny because, uh, Franklin, our next guest is standing in the, in the wings there. Wow. I met at the Alan Parsons show as the drummer for Lenny Kravitz. Oh, cool. Good drum talk. But I was saying whenever somebody says, why do you like building or like, why do you like comedy or what do you do comedy? Where'd that come from? Is your dad a builder? Is your dad a comedian? Or are you in so much pain or you wanted acceptance or had to win over the bullies, your school using comedy or whatever? And I go. Tommy Lee, when I asked him where this drumming come from, he said, when I was five, I banged on pots and pans and I said, okay, that's what you do because you're a drummer. And I liked the comedy. I was banging on pots and pans, but I was doing it with jokes and I was doing it with building. It wasn't anything that doesn't know I was in so much pain or I was trying to win over whatever. It was just about, that was what was in me. But I always use Tommy as an example. Like what's different about comedy than him banging on pots and pans when he was six. True. Which is probably true. That's what Tommy told you about. Yeah, he did. Yeah. He's had a great life. He really has. Well, now it's better with you in it. By the way, worse first with Brittany Furlan. It's my podcast. If you want to hear more neurotic talk. I'd like to, I should be doing your podcast soon, right? I want you to come do my podcast. Yeah. You talk, people come on there and talk about the worst. Bill Burr just did it. I'd love to do it. Burr Kreischer did it. You talk about the worst shit that's happened to you. And it's, you know, sometimes it's sad. Sometimes it's funny. It's whatever. Spy Intervention is the name of the movie. Yes, that I just did. It comes out tomorrow or Valentine's Day. It's out in select theaters. And then in about a week from that, it'll be on iTunes and DVD. If you guys still use those. Video on demand as well. Video on demand, yeah. All right. I'm going to follow up. We're going to do this five day. We're going to do it. Five day plunge. Yes. The Adam Carolla health advice. First things first. You're tough as shit mentally. I saw that video. I know you got it in you. And number two, it's three minutes door to door. Doing it. You want to do it? Jump in. I'm going to do it. Get out. I'm going to do it. Underwater. All right. I'll send you my pneumonia bill. We'll take a break. We'll do the news right after this. Give me the news with Grad. News with Gina Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East. Celebrity Trump meltdown. Deep news with Gina. Gina Grad. The news with Gina. Well, first, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you both eating that during the theme song. That makes my day. So we talked about Andrew Yang. He has dropped out of the presidential race soon after the polls closed, actually, in New Hampshire Tuesday night. He told his audience in a Manchester ballroom that the campaign couldn't find a way to move forward. But his crowd already chanting 2024. Yang's message of universal basic income with his freedom dividend and the value added tax, along with his net zero emissions initiative, seemed to appeal to supporters online across the country. Yang says he's definitely not ruling out a 2024 presidential run. And as to who he's going to endorse in 2020, Yang had this to say. Well, right now, we're still obviously like reflecting on our own campaign. I'm going on the record saying I will support whoever the Democratic nominee is. And this process is very important for voters to make their voices heard and see what the direction of the party is. So no endorsements right now, though. So other candidates have been reaching out to me over the last number of hours, which I appreciate a great deal. Hoping for business. Yeah, basically. And I mean, again, saying I will I will support whoever is picked. Yeah, he kind of won me over when at some point early on, he just went, look, it's not really about calling Trump a Russian spy or beating Trump up. We need policies. We got to win on policies. I'm not interested in that. He kind of did what Bernie did with the emails. Yeah, Hillary. By the way, they're authentic people. They both just went like, look, I'm not here to tell you what's wrong with why the other person is worse than me. I'm here to tell you why I'm better than the other person. It's a weird way to run a relationship or an ex-wife or current wife or anything, you know, just shows character. Make the case for you with your with your policies. I like that immediately. I liked it when Bernie said, you know, forget about Hillary's email. Yeah, we're here to move forward. That's right. Rose McGowan was, quote, displeased. She was disgusted by Natalie Portman's Oscar dress, which was adorned with the names of female directors who were snubbed this year. Rose McGowan is on my short list of chicks that we're going to get a lot of entertainment from because when super smoking hot chicks get old, they go nuts. All right. Well, go nuts. She's her and Pam Anderson. They're going to go. They're already there. They're getting there. Yeah. Joint forces. Rose has been helped along with some with some bad publicity. But yeah. So you think why? Why would Rose McGowan hate on this? So, you know, all the names of the women are embroidered on this. All the nominated women on the Cape, the female directors who were snubbed embroidered on the Cape. Why would Rose hate this? Well, in a scathing Facebook post, McGowan called Portman's, quote, type of activism deeply offensive to those of us who actually do the work. The former Charm star accused. Yeah. They're having a circle. We're not doing enough. Circle. Well, the post. It's a woke off, everybody. Let's see who has to eat the cookie. It's a walk off. So she says lip. Woke off. Home run. Lip service is the problem. Fake support of other women is the problem. She encouraged the Oscar winner, quote, and other actresses to walk the walk. McGowan wasn't alone, by the way, in calling Portman a hypocrite. Many people on social media pointed out that the star has only used one female director over her eight projects made by her company. Guess who that female director was? Hmm. I say. It's almost a trick question. It's a trick question. Caitlyn Jenner. It's her. It's herself. It's herself. Oh, that was the only female director she's used in her production company. So Rose is trying to make a point. Yeah. OK. I don't know. I don't know. I like the cape, though. What year is it again? 2020. What's going on? All right. Let's get that hat. Let's have a march. OK. But remember, the good news is none of this is going to matter because we'll all be dead in 10 years. Yes. Yeah. Or 11 or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's coming. So says AOC. That's right. Macaulay Culkin defends. Michael Jackson in a new interview with Esquire. This is just going to keep going. keep coming around every few years the home alone star tells the magazine that the singer quote never did anything to me i never saw him do anything and especially at this point in time i'd have no reason to hold anything back he's passed on uh sexual abuse allegations against jackson research a strong defense well never did anything to me there hold hold hold on but you're right i mean but he wants to make it clear that it never happened to him of course this all resurfaced after leaving neverland uh colkin who is the godfather to jackson's daughter uh says he would have seen something by now and or said something by now if he'd been abused he said if anything i'm not going to say it would be stylish or anything like that but right now would be a good time to speak up and if i had something to speak up about i would totally do it but i never saw anything okay so michael probably had the no names up and coming right uh cardboard refrigerator box sidewalk dance floor guys who he knew you know busted family he knew he could work that one out prime targets not the brand new star of the home alone not the biggest star in the world in 1991 that's that's that is not that's a well-guarded target you know what i mean that'll get you a lot of buzz that's potentially dangerous so he probably had this thing where he liked just hanging around with that young it guy but then if it got physical he'd go with the young no name right guy so and also i don't know how old macaulay is but when you're 11 you don't really know shit that's going on per se no and and walking around jacko's comfort over the woods light going what's going on here what's all this about then yeah uh and to your point another pal of michael's cory feldman also said michael never touched him now cory feldman has been famous since he was born so that's that's a very uh similar issue there right uh have you heard about this dude lawrence ray he is all the time he's been famous since he was born he's been famous since he was born all over the news right now ex-con financier lawrence ray has been charged with allegedly running a sex cult and money laundering ring out of his daughter's dorm room essentially this story is insane so according to prosecutors in new york ray moved into his dot it says dorm room but i've read other articles that they were you know in an apart a shared apartment co-ed apartment uh at sarah lawrence it's like uh what do they call the dorm monitor the resident r.a r.a comes in it's like i told you no toaster ovens no hot plates and no sex cults all three of those things yeah student housing could be like suites right i think it was more like that uh so this was in sarah lawrence in yonkers new york in 2010 he began acting as a mentor lecturing the group and boys and girls on his personal philosophy conducting therapy sessions during which he learned can i say something to my black brothers they're always talking about getting profiles and stuff like that so i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story and i think it's a great story oh there's a white version of this i mean you see this guy and you go oh yeah throw away the key you know he's up to something oh for sure yeah oh yeah there's a white dude who's bald but you're going oh yeah he did it oh yeah and more probably i don't need to hear anymore so he allegedly used this uh psychological torture and violence physical violence to keep these victims under his thumb forced him to do his bidding prosecutors say he made at least a half a million dollars in the last year and a half million dollars in the last year and a half sex trafficking money he made another half a million by scamming the victims into draining their parents bank accounts and i heard a little more on this he would basically it sounds similar to things we've heard about scientology like someone has to sit in the hot seat and tell all their secrets and if they don't have any you make them up and that's how you gain trust with the group but then he uses it against you and you know we've heard this from you know leah remini's show and all these things and then he starts charging kids and he says you touch my duct tape you ate my cereal you broke the you know the radiator and so that he gives them an itemized list one of the lists ended up being forty seven thousand dollars and the kid went to his parents and said i need this money i gotta pay back mr ray they said are you kidding go fuck yourself so the kid threatened to kill himself the parents paid and so he was not only turning some of the kids out but extorting them directly through their parents well this guy's a deplorable character no no doubt but you don't fuck with the guy's duct tape i knew i was gonna leave the duct tape out i don't know maybe that's me but he's a bad guy right and deserves to be prosecuted but that rules are rules i understand duct tape is kind of a personal item and don't get him wrong he's a bad dude you're gonna use some of it then you need to uh put it back right don't use very much if if max patter ripped off a foot of duct tape his neighbor would come up like what's all the noise about masturbating so hostage situation here this dude this this happened last year but he just got he got charged in new jersey so this i like to do i like to yell what year is it i just say how does this stuff continue yeah i'm so confused well that's the thing you take a young impressionable group of college kids and the dad comes in and he's like the mentor then it's is it a slippery slope i don't think i would have fallen for it but who knows i'm also curious impressionable there's so many it's an un it's it's a cavil there's an unending supply of johns right just sure middle-aged dudes are like i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'll give you some money yeah blow job who are all these guys i don't question oh the other thing i heard that he did to one of the gay roommates who he really didn't want to be gay um he he made him have sex with one of the other girls you know and he'd watch sometimes he'd join in he'd bring the landlord in to join in on the uh on the fun and then when the kid came back and said i really i still think i'm gay he made him put on one of his walk to the mailbox come back and then like use a bunch of sex toys on himself while the kids laughed because he made like it was very handmaid's tale like come on keep laughing at him like very very very disturbing this is only getting it worse when the trial comes that's kind of remind me of my downstairs neighbor al oh my god and the crazy oh yeah and the crazy perv moved out like the unit whatever he just came up the box of dildos and butt plugs and spank magazine like inflatable dolls and stuff just whole box and he's like hey sounds like you guys could use a helping hand so here's a box of butt plugs and giant novelty dildos and vibrators and stuff that's been clearly up people's assholes you know i was like here you go drop it off drops it off and then he's like i hear a lot of action going on up here at night i was like yeah that's that's not me that's my buddy chris he's like yeah well next time when those youngins come by you send one down oh my god i'm like okay we'll see how that works hey stacy yeah it's a middle-aged guy you'll recognize him because he's got these uh thick horn rim glasses he's wearing a windbreaker that says santa neat on it he's got a lot of pomade yeah so what i like you do is go down there and suck his dick yeah okay do us a favor what are you 18 19 yeah go down there blow al yeah he's got his dog skipper with him but he's not gonna bother you yeah go down yeah he has some really attractive characteristics he likes to keep the uh roll-up hose bib thing the the the thing that's made out of uh pvc he keeps it in his kitchen for safekeeping why is that he's got a lot of why is that safekeeping you leave it outside could get stolen okay you know what i mean i mean i guess that's smart yeah second item um so does he like do you owe him money or something or why am i doing this i just kind of on the honor system you know he came up said why don't we send one of the gals down and i you know i nodded you thought he saw me you thought i'd be willing he's wearing a the santa nita he has two santa nita windbreakers there's a red one and blue oh does he own santa nita racetrack he looks like he was in the lords of flatbush like but without a speaking role uh he's got a ham's beer koozie that's pretty worn out so you'll know it he's had it for a while i think these things are meant to be turned over but he's uh so he's down there so so if i see the the hose and the koozie that i know i got the right that's al's apartment and skipper who's skipper i'm sorry that's dog oh dog the dog will be in there with us uh he goes everywhere with skipper i guess he does everything with skipper and again will i be like um compensated or a little something called satisfaction job well done yeah i wouldn't call him elderly but i wouldn't call him young okay so this is like a meals on wheels thing yeah yeah okay hey you might if he's outside he'll just be doing that move where he waters the lawn with the hose and his thumb over it oh to really get the yeah sprays it out that way he's good at that okay yeah talk to al i'm back in 15 there you go it's the guy lived under us jesus christ fucking al he used to lift his windbreaker up and he had a pistol stuffed into his fucking pant line it's crazy shit who are these people he's i'm sure he's long dead he probably died in that probably sorry where were we if you're having a hard time finding a job you may want to cut back on your social media posts for a while employers are looking at your social media presence and according to a study from penn state if you come across as self-absorbed or if you do a post a lot especially about controversial stuff you are definitely less likely to be hired another bad idea of course is that you're not going to be hired you're not going to be hired you're not going to be hired you're not going to be hired you're not going to be hired you're not going to be hired posting about all the drinking and drugs you're doing penn state professor michael two says quote in 2018 70 of employers reported looking at social media sites to help them evaluate the potential employee and 60 have eliminated candidates on the basis of negative content it's important for job candidates to be aware of how they portray themselves on social media well i mean think about it like you go up and look at the guy and he's got a bunch of pictures after they completed the tough mud or obstacle course or something like that and he's got a bunch of pictures of volunteering at the soup kitchen yeah whatever you see a bunch of that you go okay that's one person and then And you see the other person that's doing the keg stand and you go, that guy may miss a few days, over a couple of days. Yeah. Interesting. Look, how much do you really need to see of a person these days? You know, it's a kind of it's a thing where it's my you come over for the first date and you want to use the bathroom and you go in there. And as you're shutting the door, you see the mirror and you see the guy kick the dog. Right. You know what I mean? You go, is that that's who he is. Yeah. You're not interested. Date's over. Date's over. Like one little gesture, one little thing that you don't need that much. Right. Now, if Olga does it, I'm in. Yeah. Well, I mean, when I saw Paulette Garagos from seven blocks away, just walking down the street and she didn't know I saw her and she just stopped, picked up a piece of garbage from the ground, held it in her hand and was just kept walking. And I was like, oh, that's a good woman. Yeah. That's a good woman. She's picking up garbage. And there's no trash can. And that's all you need to know. That's all you need to know about her. I know she's not up to something horrible and I know that's a good civically minded whatever. And then there's the bitch who's putting the notes on on Max Pata's car. That's all I need to know about her. I don't I don't need to know that much. I'll go online. Let's see what I need to know. All right. What else we got, Gina? The price of a one kind of a premium Disney theme parks day pass has shot above the two hundred dollar mark for the first time. The so-called one day park hopper where you can go. Go back and forth between Disneyland and California Adventure now cost two hundred nine bucks on peak days, usually weekends up from one ninety nine. So another ten dollars. But that's not it. They have now have a five tier pricing plan that apparently depends on the time of year, the day of week. So just to put it in even more perspective, since 2000, the price of admission to Disneyland has jumped from forty three dollars to one hundred fifty four dollars for a new single day ticket price at the park's busiest day. It just charged five hundred. And that's because it's heroin. They got you by the short hair. Your kids are going to they want to go. They want to go. They want to go. What are you going to do? Well, there's nothing you can do. And that's the crazy thing, because we've said in the past, like, well, it'll, you know, eliminate it'll thin the herd. You can't afford that. People are coming now more than ever. This notion of like, you know, we're going to do to get people to get out of the cars, we're going to make gas more expensive. Like, no, it doesn't work. People still are getting in the cars or we're going to quit smoking. We'll raise the price of cigarettes because they just buy cigarettes and forego something else. That's who we are. Yeah, that's how we roll. If you have kids and those kids are dying to go to Disneyland and it's one hundred and eighty nine bucks versus one hundred twenty nine bucks, there's nothing the parents going to do about it. Just save up to go. Yeah, you're going to get it on the calendar. Right. You're going to tell a kid something. Maybe buy less food in the park. I was going to say the good news is once you enter the gates, everything is free. Oh, wait. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. I got this stupid guide. I can't believe that. Six hundred bucks an hour with a with a minimum of five hours or something. It's it's it's it's insane. It's insane. And also, remember, I was talking yesterday that no one can really answer questions anymore. We're talking about going to Potluck and Comedy Store and how's it work? I just never got anything. First thing out of my mouth, the first thing out of my mouth when they said, you're going to get one of these guides and she's going to lead you around. All I said was, is I am going to feel. I'm going to feel really uncomfortable just walking past everyone going to the front of the line, cutting, going to that family, been waiting an hour and a half to get on the Matterhorn ago. So you're all. Yeah, I'm a rich guy here. You remember from the man show. And we're just going to step right in front of you. I said, I don't want to do that. I don't like the way that looks. I don't like the way it feels. And they just went, oh, no, no. We have a separate door that we don't know. They thought about that separate door. And I go, I go, OK. And then we just go to the Matterhorn. We just walk past. Everyone go to the front. And I go, we're just walking past. Yeah, that's what I work. That was a separate door. OK, I feel like I brought you. Yeah, I don't. It's not a specific scenario came up. You better have a cast on. Yeah. Anyway, I'm telling you, if you guys ever do that. At some point, who are you talking to? I know anyone. No. Within the sound of my voice, someone successful. When they break for lunch, that is the worst 20 minutes of your fucking life. Like when they're just standing there and they're getting getting paid like Mark Garagos. Billable hours are trying to bail Chris Brown out like fucking billable hours. And they're on the track. And and and then the wife is buying shit for the chick is charging me 600 bucks. And I like you want a water and a corndog. Yeah, I'll have a water. No, no, you go get your own. Go get your own. And then I keep yelling ever and up, ever and up. Here we go. We're going to eat the corndogs on the way to Space Mountain. And they're like, hold on. I'm going to relax. Let him relax. We went on our feet. Like, I'm like, here we go. I was running that thing. I ran. I'm trying. I'm trying to think of there was a five hour minimum. Is that consecutive hours? Take a break. Punch out for lunch. I ran that thing like fucking Paul Bear Bryant ran his training camp in Alabama. I was like, everybody out. The Junction Boys. It's hot. Keep marching. Fourth quarter. Here we go. Here you go. Half speed. You get hurt. We want a Pepsi. You'll cramp up. Keep going. Fourth quarter effort. Let's go. Jingle jangles. Last guy to Space Mountain's out. You're running bag laps. I was on my feet like, yeah, I was like Arlie Army like at Disneyland. Of course, my experience was wrong because I'm like, we're not sitting down and eating. We're on the fucking clock. Let's go. Go half speed. You get hurt. The rest of your left to eat. Last easy day was yesterday. I wonder what she makes because she ain't making that money. That's not going in her pocket. It's weird that she would have to buy her own. Food is the employee of the of the park. Yeah, it's like it's a discount. This is just this is just Lynette going to the window going like, hey, Sherilyn, you want to walk? Oh, you have a nine dollar water. Awesome. I'll tack that on your bill. She was just like, sir. Lynette was being nice. She's like, oh, yeah, why not? Yeah, sure. Six hundred nine dollars an hour. Not like she had a rucksack or anything. And and then and then the worst. Then you get to the end is like, well, we got a tipper. And I'm like, OK, hold on a second. I feel the same way about the mistake. This is like you have a GED and you're making one hundred twenty eight bucks an hour. Work it out with your employer. You're 19 years old. You make six hundred dollars. You can pay like a like a high priced attorney. Let fucking Walt Disney tip you. Let them settle you out. And then they get that thing where it's like, yeah, they only make like thirteen dollars an hour. Like, OK, well, that's not on me. That's not on me. I'm paying him six hundred. Like, what's. Does she go on the rides with you? No, I don't. That would be a bridge too far. She doesn't get to have fun with you. I don't think so. You sit here and wait. Yeah, there's the famous picture of all of us going down. Oh, that's right. Bear Mountain and Sonny looking. Everyone was on brand except for, I mean, Sonny was scared shitless. I don't think she was in there. Yeah, I don't think so. Would your kids ever go to Disneyland just with their friends without a guide? You think they'd be over it? I don't know. I do remember we'd get to the end of like we'd go right to the front of like Space Mountain or right to the front of the Matterhorn. And I'd go, all right, here we go in the car, in the toboggan. And Sonny would spaz up and go, no, I'm scared. I don't want to go. And I'd go, in the toboggan. Here we go. And then Lynette would go, he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to go. And all of a sudden we're having this thing where I was going, don't say anything. Just in the toboggan. Here we go. And now we pay to get to the front of the line. And now we're arguing in the front of the line. And they're going, we're going to run. And he's like starting to cry. And she's going, he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to go. And I'm like, don't do that. Get in the car. Yeah, it was awesome for me. That sounds fun. Great. Look at little Sonny. It was awesome. His eyes are closed and he's covering his ears. And Natalia's laughing her ass off. That's not the guy next to Natalia, is it? No. I don't know. And Lynette's like leaning over trying to help Sonny with her ear. And I'm just marveling at the whole mess. That's basically, that's it. That's the entire world. That's my entire world. It's funny that you're the rich guy who paid for this because you do look like a child predator that lives in a trailer park. I had a beard and a beanie. I was going with Hobo. Thank you. He could be a predator. Let's bring it home, Hobo. I'm genius. Gina Grad. Wait, who's your boho? Sorry. The news. Enter from the backside. Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Until next time, Adam Carolla for Brittany Furland Lee and Gina Grad and Paul Bryan Sink. Mahalo. I'm the local pervert. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, man. O'Reilly. Love these guys. Going to get into it with O'Reilly. Because I've got a car race coming up in about six or seven weeks. It's time for prep. You want to keep your car on the road? You do it with O'Reilly. There's not many issues I can't figure out. But if I can't, I always go to O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online. So you never worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're in a jam or not, they're going to help you. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one-stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right, Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at OReillyAuto.com slash Adam. That's OReillyAuto.com slash Adam. Hello and welcome to Pluto Phone. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto. where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Shut up. Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fetch. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. All right, that's Adam Carolla's show, 2750. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla's show, 1036. Ari Shafir, Dr. Bruce, Alison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from 2013. Check it out. Good day, Alison Rosen. Hello, Adam Carolla. Good day, bald Brian. Yeah, bitch, I halfway love your stank ass. Brian is going to do a little hooray for Baldy Wood. He's got a movie. Say the movie just so we can tease people a little bit. The incredible Burt Wonderstone. I saw it over the weekend, so you didn't have to. Can I tell you that before the show starts, Brian told me what he was going to do. And I said, oh, how was it? And he refused to tell me. He informed me that I could find out during his segment. He's got a little something called journalistic integrity. That's what you call that? It'd be nice if other people, it'd be nice if it was contagious. It would be nice. All right. I don't know what you're talking about. I got back from the high desert where I was over at Willow Springs Raceway, starting my first training for the Celebrity Grand Prix, the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix, which is cool. Spent a little time with Michelle Rodriguez. Got some Fast and Furious dirt from her. She's coming back. How many questions did you barrage her with? More than she could answer. She did this thing where I'm like, she's like, well, yeah, she's coming back to Fast Six or whatever it is. I want to know about, I heard rumors that The Rock had run out of arm butter and that they had to go to the rainforest and harvest more carnauba wax. And that's shut down principal photography for a number of weeks. But it was just a rumor. Right. You know. So she's coming back. And so she did this. After the kidnapping movie and the G.I. Joe movie, there's like a worldwide shortage now for arm butter. Arm butter. Yeah, The Rock has used it up. Okay. If you want to know where to put your money, forget about precious metals. Arm butter. Yeah. That's why I support fracking. Yeah. For butter. Well, the thing is, is in good times and bad times, we're always going to need arm butter. That's right. That's right. It's recession proof. It's like the people who sold the jeans to the people who are panning for gold. Mm-hmm. Levi Strauss made them many years ago. I remember because Ray did a book report on Levi Strauss. Ray did a book report? Well, he did an oral presentation on who made Levi jeans. I remember that. And I remember gleaning a lot of information from Ray doing his oral report when he was 17. That was 17? I thought, I was thinking this was like third grade. No, no. Could have been 18 because he's held back a grade. He was in third grade. So it was funny because she was saying, well, my character died, but you never really saw her die. So you don't really know. So she's got amnesia or whatever. And I was like, well, I did kind of see Vin Diesel when he, during Fast and Furious 3 or whatever it was. He did go see you die as he walked through it. In his mind. But I didn't want to weigh her down with too many geek Fast and Furious details. So we got out on the track. Because you want her to think you were cool? Yeah. Well, it is one of the few places on the planet where I'm cool because I won last year. And they all have to watch the night before. They have to watch the footage from last year's race to examine the race. So I get to be the one that won. So I get to come back. It's one of the few times I get to enter a group of, you know, actors and athletes and stuff like that and be the cool one. Because while I'm not the cool one off that track or out of that arena, I'm the cool one there because I won the year before. You literally have street cred. Literally street cred with Michelle Rodriguez. So she was real fun and real nice. And we hung out. And that was fun. And we got some time in the new car. And it's just fun going out and flogging cars on a track that someone gives you. Normally it's an element of, a lot of the problem with going out and doing racing is you're driving. You're driving a car. It's your car. It's not insured. When it's on the track, it may be worth a lot of money. More importantly, the guy you run into's car may be worth a lot of money. And you just don't want to fuck with other people's shit. Well, this ain't your money and it ain't your car. Bang away. And bang we will when we hit the streets of Long Beach in about three or four weeks. So, a couple things. I don't even know where to begin here. Let's see. Dennis Prager and I did a show in Northridge, CSUN, Cal State Northridge, on Saturday night. It was perfect because I said to, thank God, Mike August and I hit a sports bar, Arcane's in Simi Valley, before and sold a bunch of Mangria and took a bunch of pictures and had like a Mangria party because then when we got to the gig, I said to Mike, so are we selling Mangria? They have Mangria? No, they do not. Well, they have a bar? Yes, they have a bar. So, they're going to serve Mangria at the bar? No, they're not. Why not? I don't know, he said. I said, well, what happened? Well, I called them like I call every venue and every theater and every club and every place we go to that has a bar and says, you know, Adam Carolla's coming in town. Stock up on Mangria and make some money and make his fans happy, by the way, because they will go through 10, 14 cases on one of these shows. And I said, well, what was the answer? And he said, no answer. And I said, well, who'd you talk to? It was like just one of the lower level people over there. And I said, well, why don't you talk to the manager? Did he send an email to questions at theater? Yeah, and they said. Contact us. They said, no, no, you don't get to talk to that person. We're not, we're not carrying your booze. We have a bar. And I said, well, I don't get it. And he said, you don't get it? They're Cal State Northridge. They do whatever the fuck they want. They don't care. Oh, do they not have to turn a profit? They're just. They're owned by Cal. It's on the campus. It's on the campus. It's not. That's my whole point. When you go to the Irvine Improv, somebody owns the Irvine Improv and the person that owns Irvine Improv. What's fucking make money. That's why I started Irvine Improv. So you call the guy who owns Irvine Improv and you go, here's, I'm going to make you some more money. And he goes, I'm all ears. And you have a negotiation and then you sell Mangria. And the good news is the guy who runs the Improv or any theater I play around the country, because this is the first theater. Where we're not allowed to serve Mangria. Shocking. California owned by the state. The guy who owns the venue or the people that own the venue, they want to make money and that's good. We want to make money. That's good. And then the consumer wants to give us money because they want this product, but only in California do they get to go. No, thanks. And you go, why not? They go, because we said no. And then moving on next, next topic or actually, no topic moving on. And you realize it's this times a million in this soul crushing. Well, there's nothing, there's no buddy to speak to. There's no, well, I'm going to the other college that my friend Rob started across the street and we'll show you. No, there's just no. And they're not in on it. They're not, they have no incentive. They don't care. They're not there to make, they're not there to make you happy. They're not making any more money. If you sell this man, Greer at their thing, they have a bar, they have their beverages. Nobody wants to be hassled with, you know, filling out a purchase order or making a phone call. So the answer is no. And the upshot is they get no extra money, but they're impervious to that because, well, then they don't have to find a place to put it and they don't have to count it. All those extra things. None of it's their money anyway. Like they don't give a shit. They have zero. Is that going to endowment? And that's what brings you guys out or something. I, I have no, I have no idea. There's a fisheye lens view of the evening. Really beautiful theater that I'm grass. I'm guessing a Chris Max Pata took. You can check it out. Adam Kroll.com. They have no incentive. They don't care. The person you're talking to doesn't get a taste of however many bottles they move and just doing the right thing. Meaning, Hey, look, there's going to be a lot of people that come out. Maybe 500 people that might like a glass of Mangria. How about them? Don't give a shit. Not interested. Not don't care. So this is the one time. And we've done this all over the country. The one time we cannot serve Mangria is at a Cal state owned school. Make sense to everybody. Even if it's not doing the right thing or taking care of the performer, all that, that could have funded maybe half a scholarship for a year. Like that's not their scholarship, not the person you're talking to. Yeah, no, I agreed, but don't give a shit. If the policy was different, maybe they don't be more. The policy is you guys need to leave us alone. That's the policy. We get money whether you show up or not. And that's how it goes. But somehow we've decided that this way of doing business is somehow noble, even though any society that fully goes now, we have a balance here, but you fully go this direction. You basically become North Korea. Korea or Cuba and you fucking people stop working like the they fall off into the ocean but anyway so uh first time for no man gria also first time with dennis prager wanted to light up a cigar because a fan gave him a cigar on stage and he wanted to light up a cigar and uh somebody came out from the wings during the performance and uh said no no can do his hand interrupted i want to know historically i feel like like in vaudevillian days if you wanted to walk out on the stage without a cigar somebody would grab you and put a cigar in your hand mr burns your cigar what are you talking about crazy here's a cigar not there somewhere else baby but like the notion of a comedian not being able to hold a cigar in a place that is 400 million cubic feet uh fan gave it to him i'm just saying it's just progress and how much do we want to focus on and what percentage of dennis prager's fans would be upset and who'd get bronchitis and i know we look at ourselves as heroes like oh the guy who walked out onto that stage and told dennis prager to put that cigar down he's a fucking hero and to fight against i don't know what but this is somehow incredibly progressive like this is the future this is not and i don't like that direction i like the direction when it comes to you know uh certain certain things involving uh rape rape civil rights things like that but certain things it's now just getting to be this total fucking i hate to say nanny state but let's just decide what's important and not important and focus on it and again california if you spent let's say one millionth of the time that you spend on smoking related issues on traffic related issues i think we would all be collectively happier yes yes okay speaking of traffic please everybody get a rape dar detector because i drove uh to laguna i mean i drove to uh uh the fuck button will willow springs and it's in the desert and it's 85 miles away and i was supposed you know but it's like you know i'm doing the sunday morning drive and i was out last night doing the mangria event and then doing the event with prager and then afterwards signing the books and doing the whole thing and i got home pretty late and i did not want to get up at seven and drive out so my plan was get up at 7 30 and then haul ass but even though uh you know the uh sequestration is going on nice uh we've not cut back on highway patrolmen and there were 80 of them parked by the highway patrolmen and they're not cut back on highway patrolmen the side of the road some on motorcycles some just sitting there with that fucking radar gun that i hope they all get testicular cancer from although uh unwilling now they're built into the cars and they just sit there and bust people because there's no traffic on a sunday and people are doing what they want to do which is safely going 82 miles an hour on a brand new fucking stretch of highway and a brand new cars that can handle it and then some for the car i'm driving 80 miles an hour is is dogging it's a warm-up it's war it's war it's a warm-up and so i fire up the fucking radar detector and then i drive down there staring in my rear view the entire time looking for cops behind me i know and looking for god just head on a swivel but i'm gonna do 85 or 90 all the way out there because it's in the middle of the fucking desert it's 85 miles away it's sunday morning i'm running late i want to get there at 8 30 in the morning and if i go 63 the whole way it's gonna take me an extra half hour to fucking get there so i crank up the radar detector and it goes off like a christmas tree and i void every one of these fucking chicken shit pussies who sits there by the side of the road and i don't get any tickets now just slow down when you hear it and speed up and slow and yeah that's it's a whole but i can't it's not like i can sit and talk to the person and enjoy a ride on the highway that my tax dollars fund i have to fucking drive there like a paranoid they essentially make you into a criminal it's it's basically it's kind of what the irs does like they make you do things well you know do nothing they'll take 50 do something which is try to knock that down to 38 and then then you start well it's my car it's not really my work car but i can deduct it as my work car and that's my office and really do a whole lot of business there but i could deduct that they essentially make people who wouldn't mind doing the right thing into if not you know criminal at least people that are breaking the law and that's what i did i broke the law on my way to by the way i was wearing my fire suit so it really would have looked awesome if i got pulled over well because they said you know bring your fire suit from last year if you could and bring your shoes if you could and i was like i had them and then i kind of thought well i could go there and then change but i'm going to be running late anyway or i could just look super spiffy when i got out of my car and my toyota fire suit as if you always wear it that would be a good look was there a race going on today did have a couple guys and 18 wheelers give me weird looks but um yeah so the radar the rape dar detector is uh all of 300 bucks it's the price of one ticket i recommend it highly um and i will be using that the next time i go out there to train um people should know i got the valentine one by the way which seems to work very nicely um the valentine radar detector yes sorry yes it works oh that's the name of it valentine i thought somebody was sorry valentine one um i had something funny and you guys can bring up the uh book cover paperbacks coming out pretty soon and there was a whole controversy about you know did on the back of the book not talk about material the whole part about uh i was a carpenter like jesus except for i didn't couch the elderly which um i feel like um was funny walked up like 10 ways to sunday because first off no one including james babydoll dicks and my agent understood the joke it was a series of uh insane surreal emails starting with my publisher who said uh hey i asked everyone on my floor and by the way it's a picture of me from my early years framing um i do remember where i was i was on the west side framing a um um an office above a garage for an evil architect's house see yeah no i didn't the guy was super nice oh but who knows the exception that's a cover up his truly evil heart who knows what he did after i you know i packed up my bags and left on a friday that's exactly nothing but putting tipperillos out on his uh special needs kid the entire time and then monday morning boom but uh put get rid of the tipperillos put the blanket over the kid's head and that's how they operate adam that's what they do so it was uh it was a picture of me and uh hanging out and with my tool bags on building someone's house and it says uh me in my early days i was a carpenter just like jesus except i didn't gouge the elderly so um this is the updated version this is the updated version well first off the first version said comedian adam carolla in his early days as a carpenter is just like jesus except he didn't gouge the elderly and they were underlining he and jesus and stuff like that and uh somehow the the joke got lost um i got a message from my publisher saying i asked everyone on the floor and it turns out that no one could think of any instances where jesus gouged the elderly and then she said i'm not familiar with the old testament or the new testament but i still couldn't find anybody who could find any sort of information about jesus in the bible about jesus gouging the elderly and i said uh well that's a that's the joke though that's the joke and she said well it's very confusing nobody nobody got it and then i said i think this is confusing to you i'm not sure what the rest of your what's going on with the rest of your floor and then she said uh then i talked to uh james baby doll dixon and he said baby not only did jesus not gouge anyone but especially the elderly let alone let alone the elderly and i do enjoy it when people make the joke for you i uh i i do i do i do enjoy that part of life um uh i i think we have an email i don't know uh yeah sorry mike lynch who's phoning it in actually just sent us this uh email exchange between himself and the publisher uh-huh you want to read it there allison yeah uh okay just got off the phone with adam he likes the joke and wants to keep it but thinks it could be clearer if we don't keep it phrased and laid it out this way above the picture me in my early days then the picture and then below the picture i was a carpenter just like jesus except i didn't gouge the elderly note if they if the italics on i doesn't look right because of the crayon themed font we should go with underlined the i needs to be emphasized and then below that the joke is that adam is implying he's better than jesus and accusing jesus of unjesus behavior i hope that clears it up but adam says said he wants this as the final version of this joke and cover right and that was three weeks before the deadline to go to publishing this is april 16th 2012 and uh yeah and they publish the more confusing version that they were confused by instead of the one that made it very clear uh even though you know you couldn't have been more clear yeah so this this paperback version is almost exactly what you wanted originally well no then we came back to the paperback version which has not come out yet and they said what are we going to do with this joke and i said well what we're going to do with it is you're going to print it the way i then modified it which you forgot to do the first time and they said uh okay and then they did it and they underlined jesus and a whole bunch of other stuff and i thought all right here we go uh mike write them back again and say just i underline i and that will help the confusion um i don't know why especially good people insist on engaging in the underline i all right i'll do just like jesus underlined as well um i'm not sure and i'm not sure if they're ever gonna have they ever gonna hear the answer that's exactly what i was thinking of even though i didn't say that at all when i shot you the last email oh i forgot to tell you also underline just like jesus please right so now i think we have it cleared up because mike then reiterated just underline the word i and that's going to help convey this what i thought was a pretty simple joke but apparently it's much more complicated than i know well not all of us are familiar with the bible anyway what was funny is last night we were sitting uh signing autographs and all that kind of stuff and at the very end of the autograph line came a woman mike august is doing what mike august does and he's taking pictures and he says uh she's wearing a uh usc hoodie that looked like sad it had been around the block just a few times uh with her in it possibly a little behind it oh my god and she was clearly disheveled and if not insane on her way to insanity and she said she was holding the book and she was pointing at the back cover and she said i don't understand what you're saying about my savior jesus christ i studied the bible and there's nothing in it that suggests that jesus gouged anybody and she was a crazy person and i said uh well i happen to have gotten hold of some papers and some invoices and things like that and i'm not saying gouge but some things were padded he's he would do what they call tnm time and material and even back then a sheet of plywood was not 129 bucks and and i can go down to home depot and get one for 31 bucks right now and she's like you got hold of invoices from jesus's work and i was like yeah i got i got hold of some i would like to see those invoices i said well i keep them pretty close to the vest but i'm not saying he stole money from people but he worked on tnm time and material and i can tell you that some of that stuff looked padded to me no do i read aramaic no but i know someone who does i trust him right and he said uh so we had a funny exchange with her for you know way too long but just because i was having fun and then she took her crazy uh shriveled body and she shuffled off toward the nearest exit talking to herself and we started walking back to the dressing room and mike said wow wow man that uh that's sad that chick is nuts that is that is that is crazy and i said well mike you agent think exactly the same as the crazy woman the joke made as much sense of the as much literally as much sense there are the exact there's one thing they can probably agree on which is nobody understands they're both literalists when it comes to that joke i said that is crazy not the fact that there's a crazy human being out there no no no no no no so uh i think the book did you sign her book did she want you to sign it i think the book uh uh by the way uh comes out april 15th so uh tax day spend that tax refund yeah so uh enjoy that all right let's bring in uh dr spaz shall we oh oh wait you know what all right shall we uh do a little movie review i'm i'm into this hooray for baldy wood he will tell you if a movie is a movie movie's good brian will review the flicks that he's seen up on the big screen or in his netflix queue before you spend bucks remember his taste sucks he loved that train wreck piece of shit transformers too hooray for baldy wood lynch never left i saw the incredible burt wonderstone i'm very curious about this movie this is in theaters now it is directed by a guy named don scardino don is a veteran tv director most notably and recently from 30 rock uh it stars steve carell steve bishami jim carrey olivia wilde uh although they're the stars of the film but that's kind of like saying sharon tate was the star of the manson family murders right this is a horrible this is an excruciatingly unfunny film about an aging magician and his blah blah blah it's uh 38 percent of rotten tomatoes there's head trauma in the first 20 minutes so uh that tells you a little bit uh this is a movie that's going to be a big hit in the next couple of years the song abracadabra by the steve miller band also plays a prominent role in the film which should also tell you a lot it is it is worthy of its 38 honestly i'm kind of surprised it got that much uh i laughed exactly five times i know because i started making notes on how many actual like out loud laughs there were five times is it the kind of thing where they took a concept that sounded awesome and just couldn't sustain it or what happened you know it's it's weird because they take you take a movie like anchorman and you go how can you sustain that for an hour and 45 minutes but yet they did it and then you take a movie like this and you go well it seems like a cool idea but it also seems like somewhere around minute 21 i might be getting bored i there's there are three three things i want to say about that one this script has apparently been bouncing around for a few years and the various forms has gone under over a dozen rewrites so i assume there was at one point a kernel of a good idea here right um but it's gone through a bunch of character changes a bunch of acting changes a bunch of writing changes um the film was an hour and 50 minutes which why why why does a comedy like this need to be an hour and 50 minutes we're in the era of the longer than it needs to be movie movies are just too long especially comedies yeah and again i wish i could go well the reason they're longer is because when they show up at the cineplex instead of showing them uh six times a day they could show them nine times a day but it's like oh no that's the opposite yeah you literally when you put an hour and 50 times a day you could get a seventh showing if you remove that 20 minutes so also it's not cheaper to make an odd choice it's a weird choice i say all the time where if a movie is a hundred million dollars and it's an hour and 40 minutes it's a million dollars a minute so take 20 minutes off that movie make it a better movie and save 20 million bucks i've never in my life walked out of a movie saying it was too short i don't think i ever ever had that thought i've wanted more from you movies we never thought that was too short yeah no i it's a it's a weird thing that you could take it it's like it's like it's like it's like you're going on a first date all you have to do is not kick off your shoe and put your big toe up the chick's cunt during the salad and it's like we're going for it wait to the dessert for at least at least wait for the flan if only to act like a lube but something and it's like nah gotta do it i don't know why comedies have to do it why do they have to do it just just go i made a comedy and it was it was 89 minutes long because our producer just kept going speed it up speed it up speed it up literally like we're sending her cuts and she was in new york and she was like i wanted to kill myself when you guys were in the museum it never ended i it was so long it was like a dirge and i was like thanks sweetie but that was her whole thing was just like get it go and don't ever have anyone go yeah it started to lose speed to like it it was good but it was too long all right by the end i was kind of ready to go oh i don't know whether you're performing or making a movie or writing a song like have everyone go oh i wish there was a little more you know yeah agreed this film was a lot of those parts which is let's get on with it but there's nothing to get on to the movie so far beneath it starts i think everyone can agree steve carell is at least very good i think we all like steve carell we do steve buscemi best character actor maybe the last 20 years jim carrey benny objective measure a huge comedy star the biggest maybe the last 20 years he's he's he's our white eddie murphy which is apt analogy he's amazingly talented somehow looks better with his shirt off now than he did when he was 25 wow um sexually a little bit all over the place from a i mean doesn't seem to just have that as someone who's had sex with him i'm saying he doesn't like get married and just have kids and you know call it call it a day he says girlfriends and then seems to go a time without him it doesn't you know he's a 46 year old guy with like no kids and stuff like that like like i don't know what's going on sexually with eddie murphy and i'm not sure what's going on sexually jim carrey they're both they both seem to have a little bit of a body dysmorphic issue or something or they're a little skinnier than guys should be in their middle age and they're wildly talented and pick fucking projects like they took scripts spread them out all over in a sunken living room and then hired a drunken donkey to shit randomly on one that is their process for picking out scripts when you hire the drunken donkey is it your responsibility to get him drunk yeah yeah you don't you can't get a drunken donkey well they don't drunk well the first off the donkey never finds your house if it's loading oh good point yeah yeah yeah you have to get the drunk donkey drunk okay yeah yeah yeah they don't pre-drunk the donkey that's not safe to travel with they're not do they recommend what to use to get the donkey drunk or is that up to you too well it's kind of up to the donkey they have recommendations you know what i mean the good thing about donkeys is they don't really turn that huge snout up at just about anything you put in their donkey ball but the things that i use to bring a donkey's alcohol level up faster let's say and then have them you know plateau and sort of maintain that what i start with is a rye whiskey mix i don't want to tell you exactly what i mix it with once i get there proprietary secret and then i i level them out with and once we get there we just sort of steady them up with malt liquor throughout the evening i think you said too much but maybe i've said too much so that is the technique that now these both guys super skinny super talented seem to look they're sort of sort of turning into chicks in terms of like they they literally look better now than they did 20 years ago yet their fucking taste in movies are horrible like they're they're picking movies i don't know and you know oh well you know they have money they have everything they need they can write their own ticket it's interesting it makes you wonder if they don't know what their own strengths are i i i really don't think that no matter how incredibly talented you are that makes you good at reading scripts plus you have outside forces saying hey this guy signed on hey carell signed on hey so and so buscemi signed on don't you and next thing you know you start thinking about what you'd look like in the outfit i'm guessing jim carrey was thinking a lot about the chris angel type you know what i mean credit where it's due jim carrey was the best part of this film that's like saying the best part of the hindenburg was the view right it's not it's not a huge how many of these do you have chambered i only have two more all right so get ready for him something with the titanic in the deck chairs i was gonna do that i was gonna do the shrimp was the best part of the titanic i thought i was gonna do the shrimp was the best part of the titanic i thought i was gonna do the shrimp was the best part of the titanic oh go ahead olivia wild is in the film though i could use a little more of her in my life she was she was uh not tough to look at i cannot recommend this film or even endorse it however uh i want to recommend something with steve buscemi um here's a little trivia that might blow your mind steve buscemi never nominated for an oscar i believe it but he's still one of the best i mean i just picture him in fargo fargo the big lebowski ghost world reservoir dogs he's good in so many movies yep and i wanted to recommend reservoir dogs then like everyone's seen it then i thought this movie's 21 years old a lot of our audiences never wasn't alive when it came out so i'm going to recommend reservoir dogs it's uh streaming on netflix it's on amazon click through if you want to get it 96 on rotten tomatoes quentin tarantino's first movie wrote and directed it a great movie stars a young steve buscemi uh a younger uh harvey keitel michael madison uh the late chris penn tim roth great soundtrack great movie you've seen reservoir dogs saw it in the theater the way you should see every movie without a whole lot of fanfare leading up to it with philip the juggler the late great phil the juggler when i was living in santa monica in a shitty rent control department we walked to the theater it's like i heard this one i kind of heard something about this it was one of those oh it's the closest theater to my apartment and saw it and went wow this is awesome and it's the best way to see a film agreed do you have an outro we do not nice job then let let my outro be heaping praise upon you thank you uh dr spaz is here you know miss dr bruce we'll bring him in see if he wants to play nice e-voice mm-hmm you want to make some more money in 2013 e-voice gives you one toll-free number that rings wherever dr spaz is dropping things already all right let's have a good time in here wherever uh you are the beach the bar doesn't matter sounds like you're at the office you never miss a call you're a pro yeah speaking of pros i said the word pro as he capsized a cardboard container filled with samples of inhalers on my desk um all right so where was i ah only 10 bucks a month 10 a month but right now my listeners can try e-voice for free free six months free go to e-voice.com promo code adam or just go to adam crawl.com and click on the voice the e-voice banner all right bruce what's going on with all the noise can you just sit the shit down and start talking what are you doing what's going on over here okay all right huge stack of papers he never gets to struggling with the headphones what's going on what's happening well as i set this up let me start with uh my first salacious story maybe my first salacious case of course based on my personal experience sure with the um where's my song get the song out of the way because i hate the freaking song just do your thing do your thing the song comes annoying annoying annoying uh super glue with jail in his hair he's not too bad he's got good lenses but real bad phrase so call him bruce but there's another name we call him bruce all right dr spaz what do you got for us okay uh super glue is uh something that we now use a cyanoacrylate compound to close minor lacerations that's why it was invented no no well now now a little shit on your boy yeah it's your show i was invented to close wounds i don't know about that that's what i'd always heard actually maybe it's just a myth i really don't know why it was invented but i thought you chose to disagree with them i chose what are you kidding me i told you why it was invented it was do you just wait for do you do this to anybody else do you abuse any other no i tell other people when they say things like um uh muhammad al-adhaar and i go his real name is cassius clay they don't go all about that i go no that's what his name is no that's why it doesn't happen with other guys because they go they say that's an interesting point i didn't know that and then we move forward with the conversation they don't go let me make a point here please you know what's going to happen when you take my train of thought even a small fraction of an inch off track i'm going to go raw well so i didn't take your train of thought anywhere i pushed your shitty rusty train with the square wheels another foot down the fucking line okay my news resolution i'm gonna take any crap from you on this show so let me just move on with my story find out what now we got to find out about uh it's not relevant to my story i wasn't making it part of your story i was with all due respect can you shut the f up when i'm trying to do my thing all right it's just okay you bring this you bring this upon yourself alison i think you've been in therapy enough right yes oh now wait give me my psychic state you do understand what bruce does here it's because it's called a self-fulfilling prophecy pretty much like i have to come in here and be verbally abused by adam otherwise i don't know i'm alive so i will i will i will create these scenarios that then make it that self-fulfilling prophecy so easy to just agree or move on or go oh i didn't know that anyway he enjoys it that's maybe you must always interject a factoid that says subtly i'm smarter than you enjoy well i'm saner and that'll get me a lot further in life but um not enjoy needs you crave it that would suggest he enjoys it okay so subconsciously with the uh super glue the issue is we commonly see super glue accidents where super glue is the patient picks up an eyedropper thinks it's their eyedrops and oh really wow with the eyelid so on the other hand it's now more commonly being used as a weapon for instance uh i have a colleague from brazil and he was describing a case where a husband came home unexpectedly found wife in bed with another man and at gunpoint had his wife put her hand out poured super glue in and then put the intruders or the uh other individuals penis in the hand and the penis became glued to urban myth well when you say colleague One of his friends that was not such a good friend. That's like seagulls calling the other seagulls that are on a dumpster colleagues. Number one. He's not. He doesn't look like he was a colleague. There's another case that is better documented in the United States where an individual that was having affairs was found out by a girlfriend to be married and then other girlfriends were found. And when he went to the hotel for a tryst, he was expected to be he was tied to the bed and other individuals came in and his penis was super glued to his abdomen. So these cases do occur. I have. By the way, I did. This would be I'd just go ahead and shoot somebody or shoot myself like this whole hang out. Let me get some super glue. Stop asking questions, whore. Probably. I don't need lotion. What are you doing? By the way, the battle wound. The battle wound is a popular myth because it was originally developed in World War Two for setting gun sites. So there you go. Here's a coincidence. Did you know that there's there's a gluing the penis to the belly story in Reservoir Dogs? You remember that? There's a story. Oh, yeah, there is bizarre coincidence that you brought it up. Yes. OK, so, Bruce, what happens when this happens? Well, in general, and the reason I brought this up was not for this salacious nature of the story. But if this happens to one of the ace broadcasting listeners, you can. You can use a Vaseline type greasy compound to dissolve the superglue. So, in other words, if we have a kid come in, we superglue a wound. Many times the family expects us to put some sort of ointment on it. Those ointments will dissolve the superglue. Now, why would you superglue a wound instead of stitch it, though? Because it's easy. I mean, because it's less traumatic for the patient. OK, you're not anesthetizing it. And it's a limited number of. Well, if you're going to cut and the cuts like sort of they flash. Slappy skin nature and just put it down. And you've all known what the two fingers in the superglue feel like. But this is like why drywall when you can do lath and plaster. This is just a lot easier. Now, I'm not sure what the medical superglue cost. But when my kids get a cut, they get the Kmart superglue. I think it's got to be the same. Yeah, the same crap. OK, so the next thing I wanted to discuss was these are nicotine. Of course, we're not on TV, but we have some little bottles with nicotine liquid that are used with electronic cigarettes. And this is becoming extremely common. And from an ER standpoint, what we are seeing and it's described in the literature, kids are getting hold of these things. And as you notice, this is. Oh, I guess I put my glasses on because I can't see. Here's a chocolate mint flavor. Here's another chocolate mint flavor. Here's pepper. Pepper. Pepper. Pina Colada. And they can't spell. Clove. Pina Colada is not spelled correctly. I don't think so. One word and there's no tilde. Yeah. One word. Wow. Caramel mocha. Well, I was going to say they're making this shit in Mexico, but then I realized that's the one country they wouldn't fuck up Pina Colada. Right, right. Now, another three Pina Coladas. Maybe that's it. All right. We get a whole bunch of different flavors. A lot of different flavors. What's the. So meaning you can get your nicotine dose in your nicotine inhaler that you just handed me. Yeah. And you can get the flavor that you want. Right. You want to try that there? What flavors? I guess I find it. Well, you put your mouth on it. Yeah. And then you press on the button. And then you inhale it? Yes. Press on the blue button there. Oh. Jesus. Is it vapor? Oh, my God. That's the cyanoacrylate. That's good. That's good. So seriously, these are left around. People don't understand that nicotine is really a toxic compound. It is potentially a life-threatening poisoning that can occur. And now what's happening are kids are getting. There's no safety caps on most of these things. Kids are getting in drinking. Yeah. Drinking it. And you get some real toxic. Can I make this just general observation? I don't know. You can just shut your mic because I'm going to make sense here. So you're going to have difficulty with it. But I don't know about that. I'll talk to Allison. You know, this thing of like kids are getting into having copier toner and they figured out. That, you know, licking toads gets them high. And then they all figured out that there's these things called bath salts. And then we got to get our drinks down to 16 ounces because kids are getting fat and kids are this and kids are that. At a certain point, in order for us to sort of move forward with our society. Don't leave all this stuff in the grasp of your kids. Let's do a little parenting here. That that'll help because then folks who need whatever. It is the kids are getting into. We'll be able to get that. We won't just outlaw everything because every kid is fat and strung out on Nick or rats. I mean, it was honestly like I said to my I said to my son. I was I was actually proud of him. I don't mean actually, but you know what I'm saying? I was proud of him because I said to him on Saturday. I said, what's your favorite drink, Sonny? What do you like? What do you like the best? And he said, well, my second favorite drink is root beer, he said. And I said, well, what's your first favorite drink? I thought I was going to say Coke. And he said, water. And I said, why is water your first favorite drink? Doesn't sound very good. And he said, because it's healthy. And I thought, wow, good. Somebody I paid did a decent job on this kid's fucking head. And that's all we need is parenting. You know, it's all this kids and the video games, kids and the fatty foods, kids and the fast food kids and the high fructose corn syrup kids parents. How about we? We start parenting and then we don't have to worry about what the kids are getting into. I mean, my kids, theoretically, once a good job is done on them, parenting are not going to be trying to cook up meth when I am out of the house using, you know, common household ingredients. Now, is Olga considered a parent in your house? Yeah, I pay her. I pay her to parent. Because if he's watching you, I'd expect him to include red wine on the list. So what flavor was that thing you inhaled? You got to open for me when I go on the road, Bruce. This is just a contrast that. Yeah, it's funny. And this is my last show like that. All right. Just shut up. Would you? This just tasted like a bunch of nicotine. I don't even know what this was. I know this flavor didn't. I tried smoking a cigar once. It wasn't any better than that. So this this Allison is asking you and I'm asking now, what flavor was this chocolate? This was chocolate. Yes. Why did I? Here's it's speaking of pina colada. I've got my teeth cleaned and they do the thing. You want the wild mountain berry? You want the fuck? And I'm always like, how about the stuff that tastes like toothpaste? And they were out of that. Always go there. They're out of that. And they had the pina colada and the thing. And I would say to him, well, what's with the wild mountain berry and the pina colada? And they go, let me do this. A lot of people. First off, a lot of people versus no fucking person on the planet. Like, do people wander in off the street and just get into this stuff? And kids get into it. You have a air compressor that's running a hydraulically powered right angle drill that has a little suction cup, a little like weird cup on it, little rubber cup. And then some chick of suspect origin, some part of Vietnam I'm not familiar with, dips the thing into the thing. And I get a sandy, pumicey sort of somewhat pina colada. Like, what if somebody just said, hey, we have a pina colada, but we've gone ahead and replaced the rum with silica sand? Would you go, oh, no, that's dynamite. And the best thing about it is hours later, you'll still be picking little chunks of it and you'll find sand. Yes. So here's the thing. I like chocolate. I like pina colada. I also like brisket and pussy, but not in this form. Not in this form. You listening on Walla? So this notion of like, well, people like fucking triple chocolate fudge. Yes. Yes. But not in an enema form. You know what I'm saying? And as a matter of fact, you're now taking something that I formerly enjoyed and making me not want a pina colada because I'm associating it with the dentist. Because it's not at all like, oh, yeah, if I close my eyes and with a little imagination, I feel like I'm eating chocolate. I can hear the Jimmy Buffett song and the palms. Blowing on the beach. No, I'm in a fucking chair in Glendale and I'm being attacked with this fucking this. This you make the sound. That's right. All right. And the little sucker thing that sticks to the side of your. But if you made it in the flavor of what we're all used to, which is tooth fucking paste, then it would be a little less distracting. And I don't think you'd have any complaints. And nobody would ever say, where's the pina colada? All right. You want to try the pina colada? Last story, Bruce. Last story. OK, here we go. This is from a Forbes article from January. Why rating your doctor is bad for your health. And I think this is this touches upon issues that are near to your heart. For instance, the reimbursement to hospitals under Obamacare is going to have a much larger percentage based on how happy patients are with wait times, with physician attitude, with a number of factors like that. I really don't know. Honestly, when people bring up Medicare and Medicaid and Obamacare, like I really don't know anything other than I'm sure we're all being gouged and for every dollar. We put in, we're getting back like three and a half cents worth of actual care, and every other country does it better than us, since the insurance companies are all fucked up, everything's a mess. But every doctor I speak to doesn't seem to be fond of Obamacare. Right. Why is that? Well, because it's decreasing reimbursement. It's a very complicated system that's felt not to be improving care to the patient but making the whole system more complex and more bureaucratic. So, for instance, what they're looking at right now, 1% of Medicare reimbursement is dependent on patient satisfaction. What direct results of surveys given to patients about how happy they were with their care, with the doctor, and it's going to double to 2% under Obamacare. You know what? I was having this fantasy the other day, and I thought to myself, you know, we have the folks on the right and the folks on the left, and then there's the lobbyists. We have the lobbyists who work for the insurance companies, and then there's the guys, you know, there's the good guys and the bad guys, the in-between guys. Everyone's got an opinion. Everyone sort of wants what's best for everybody, but nobody's willing to agree on how to go about what's best for everybody. And then you start mixing in other factors, ethnicity, sex, and age, and things like that. And now it really gets heated up. And you may have ideas on how to help. You may help inner city black folks, but you're white, so you cannot express those ideas. And the same works for other ethnicities and other things like that. Yet we still have these problems, and they affect everyone. And I just started thinking to myself the other day. I thought I would like to appoint an international committee of people who did not have a fucking dog in this fight. Like where they could just go, look, we need smart people of all. Genders and all ethnicities from all around. But by the way, I'll take a to you. I don't need 80 of you. I'll just take a to you and we'll mix it up. Give me a Japanese guy and give me a black woman and we'll make mix all mix it all up. And then you guys come over here as as non citizens of this country, but just of people who are very advanced learning degrees and much, much, much credits and experience in the in the brains department. You guys sit together. Go. We're going to start throwing problems at you. And then you give us the answer, because whatever answer you give us, you're not going to have Al Sharpton come march on you because you're just the smartest people on the planet who've come up with an answer to try to solve some inner city violence. And we'll do the same thing with Medicaid, Medicare and Obamacare. And they're not going to be any lobbyists. You are impervious to anything. You don't get lobbyists from insurance companies. You don't get lobbyists from big oil or big anything. You just sit. You sit there and we're going to talk. I want you. We'll have a whole fucking I'll get one of those dry erase boards and I'll just write energy independence. Go. What do you want to do? Fracking. Good or bad. Don't worry about people from Exxon. Don't worry about farmers. Don't worry about anything. I want to know. Let's look at it and we'll give you some. We'll give you information on anyone. Good. Violence in the inner city. Broken families. Failing schools. Go ahead. Obamacare. Just go down the list and then you tell us you're super smart mixed race. And gender answers to everything. And then that's what we're going to do. And everyone's going to agree in advance. All right. These people are no obligation. They don't have a dog in the fight. And again, there's no lobbyists or anything. So they're just going to go. We think Obamacare is great or they're going to think it's not working. We should switch to an independent whatever flat tax. Is that a good idea or a bad idea? By the way, I don't want the government telling me what the best tax is because they're the ones who take the tax. So, you know, I don't want the government. The guy, you know, the guy runs the vending machine thinks it'd be a good idea for her to set the price of snicker bars for like five bucks. But that's not the guy I want in charge of that. Independent counsel. From all over the world. But none of you can reside here at any point. Tell us what you think. What if Bruce made it onto the panel? That would be one. I was thinking we should do like a fantasy pick. Objectivity. One of the problems. Would you guys be willing to go along with their picks? I don't know. I don't know about the not living here, though, because I feel like they're super smart. It's better that they don't live here, though. They just take a look at a problem and there's no history. And I like this idea. It's a great idea. I disagree with you need aliens because every human being has some viewpoint that represents a special interest, I would say. So you're not going to find people that are perfectly objective. But what special interest when they live in Hungary? How about this is a compromise. Dual citizenship. So they are. I don't want them. I don't want them here. I just want them to look at statistics, look at test scores, look at schools, look at data, look at whatever. It'll be like a math problem. Yeah. Just go. How do you solve this math problem? And then the super smart people tell you how to solve it. And then that's it. And you can't cry that they're whatever ism is causing them to come to these conclusions or that they're in the pockets of big oil or anyone else. Can I share a clinical vignette with you, please? OK. This is several weeks ago. Seeing a woman that comes in abdominal pain. Her weight in her mid 30s. Testing is done. Probably more testing than is necessary because of issues with liability and unhappy patients that don't get the test they want. Patients come in with belly pain. They want CAT scans. They want ultrasounds when these are not always appropriate. So after extensive testing, CAT scan, ultrasound, lab work, I informed the woman that her only problem that I could detect was a fatty liver. What is fatty liver, doctor? Well, it's fat that's deposited because there are other. But in her case, she was obese. Fat's deposited in the liver. The liver doesn't expand. You're making me hot. Keep going. Same. Yeah. Pain from expansion of the capsule of the liver. And the patient becomes upset because you've shared with them something they don't want to hear. You've shamed them. You've spent all this time and all you're telling me is I'm fat. And the patient leaves upset. Now, in my experience there, it's very distressing. And you think, well, maybe the next time. You'd want to couch the diagnosis in different terms or you. And this is in a situation where many tests were ordered that, again, probably in a perfect. If you had your panel running this, the accountability would be different. You'd you do just the right thing. But was that what was causing her like does a fatty liver cause fatty liver can cause severe abdominal pain. And another case today, I had two other physicians come to me, say the patients here. They we know this patient. They've written us up because we didn't want to give pain medication. Can you see the patient because we've both been written up by her. So I see the patient and it's someone that wants a narcotic shot. And did she need the shot? She has a long history of pain. What would be better for her would be gently confronting her with the reality that she probably has. Well, I was going to say, aren't patients the last ones who are in any position to assess the kind of care they received? I mean, obviously, you know, if something fucked up happened to you, but like I, you know, I have endometriosis, had surgery. And I feel like the whole thing went well. But at the same time, the guy stuck his finger up my butt, knocked me out, caused me pain. I didn't enjoy it. I could write, you know, I was in the parking lot, by the way. Oh, yeah. I mean, the actual medical care. No, what? What he delivers, what the mean girls called her, by the way, they're engaged. I think that's a hate crime. What's happened the last 20 years, more and more of what happens to you is the questionnaires are sent out and even things that seem ridiculous that are not related to quality. You care are taken up at the patient's perception that something was too painful or inappropriately done, then the doctor is many times taken to task and has to explain that. But all right, here we go. OK, that's good. Yeah, OK, good. I know this has been health watch with Dr. Spaz. I don't feel like I've ever really questioned the doctor or even said, like, what are you doing or asked him a secondary anything? I don't know. Everyone's got some. It used to be doctors. Here's the problem. Doctors used to be doctors, and that was fine. Now everyone's a fucking expert. Everyone has the Internet. And then once you sprinkle in some of the wisdom of the Orient, now you're fucked because you're like, look, you need to get on Lipitor. My life coach says, OK, great, great. Yeah, yeah. Wind chime over there whose real name is Steve says what again? And they have to fucking compete with. Well, you know what? I'm going to do acupuncture instead. And it's like, um, you have scabies. Well, I think it can be controlled through through through good vibes, you know, and now you have to fucking do battle with every fucking nutty broad who's hooked up with some sort of fucking new age healer. And it's just my aunt knows someone who cured themselves, right? But in the Old West, they'd be like, go get the doctor. And then the doctor would show up and the doctor would be like, here's what's going on. And no fucking hippie walked into the. Cabin and went slow down. I was I was on the ultra net there and I read different and I had a friend who lived in Dodge City who knew an Asian dude who cured it with just a whisker from a cat. You know, I mean, I just feel like you just go for the doc. Like, didn't we just grow up watching movies and stuff like go get the doctor and then just the doctor would show up and no one ask him, well, wait a minute, where did you learn that? And I disagree with that. He was just the doctor, right? Well, the most extreme. example is one emergency room with poor survey scores. They were offering Vicodin. goody bags to discharge patients to try and improve their ratings. Wow. That's how extreme. Wow, where is that? Dr. Bruce, is it within swerving distance? No. No. Different state. East Coast. All right. That was a joke there, Bruce. You can Twitter him at Dr. Bruce H. Ari Shafir. I hit that right, right? You did. Yeah. He's coming in next. Skeptic Tank, name of his podcast, available on iTunes. We'll talk to Ari next. Yeah, back with Ari Shafir. Skeptic Tank, available on iTunes and available on chill.com, website arishafir.com. Good to see you, Ari. Thanks. How are you? Well, I've decided I want to start. Every greeting took a lot of guts to show your face around here, but you know what? I respect that. And then every exit with, hey, yeah, see you later. Don't beat yourself up. That's not bad. I like both those. I feel like I've given you a certain upper hand in almost every relationship. The interview will be all about you, and then when they leave, they'll be like, fuck, I could have improved that. Yeah. But my don't beat yourself, the worst thing you could say to a human being. All right. All right. Do you ever get, after you got off stage, when somebody said, I thought you were funny? There is, there is. Like fully acknowledging no one else liked it. There is a weird energy protocol slash posture that people have when you sucked on stage that is palpable when you walk off of stage. And yeah, underlining the I. They don't know how to treat you. Yeah. You feel like a cow getting led to slaughter. They're like. I like when they go right to the, don't worry about it, it's a shit audience. And you're like, I was, I wasn't going to say like, what? So you basically, they'll just skip right past the part where you're bombed and blame the audience. Let's just assume we can both see what happened. Right. Do you ever, do you ever have it where you get off stage though, and you're, you thought you did well. And it turns out from the feedback you're getting from people that, that apparently that wasn't the case. I am, I am lucky. And it's like, I always say this at the beginning of your career. You're a band and you're playing at a county fair and the audience is filled with people who want to be at a county fair. And if you're good, you're good. And they'll like you. And if you're not, but they're not there to see you, it's much easier when you become a band and a performer, because there's a thousand people in that theater who paid money to see Adam Carolla. Thus your batting average goes way the fuck up. It was just a thousand random people who came to see comedy or eat cotton candy. You're fucked. And, uh, thankfully I don't have to deal with that much anymore. I've saw a magician at the county fair and he was making like corny jokes and it became so offensive to me. Really? I just wanted to punch him. I don't feel like I'd see hanging out at a county fair a lot. It's girlfriend stuff. You know, whenever you're like dating somebody, you got to do stuff like to pretend like you give a shit. Let's mix it up a little. Let's get, let's get some freshness in this so we don't hate each other. Yeah. Have you, have you, um, now you've done a lot of standup. I'm assuming and, and now you have your audience, like they come to see you a little bit. I get like half depending on where sometimes I'll get no one there to see me. So if I got like 10% of the people there to see me though, everything goes better. Yeah. And, and that's why, you know, Bruce Springsteen does four hours on stage because there's a whole bunch of fucking people who are there to see the boss. And if they're at the county fair after our two, even if the boss was, they'd start filtering out. You're not chocolate covered bacon. What are you doing wrong? No, but you think, I mean, I always say like you went back in the day when Oprah would do her show, that audience would be going nuts and laughing their asses off when she said almost nothing like Oprah, Oprah has a lot of things, but funny. Ain't one of them. She's just not. She thinks she's funny because she has these seals flapping their fins together and all she does is go into the deep tone voice or, or little makes a little joke about it. Goes in a little, a little ethnic thing or a little sassy thing and they all go nuts all the time. That is actually her crowd, but she's, but what, how would that work in front of a crowd of folks that don't know you or had a decent sense? I said he used to like pop into the comedy store and people didn't know him and they would just walk out angry. They would hate him. This is way too dirty for me. The guy's selling out giant theaters and stadiums, right? I always hated with a college professors made jokes and everyone there is like a captive audience. They have no choice. They don't have a laugh. Uh, everybody who is forced to stand up in front of a group of people eventually will say something funny or attempt to say something funny. Um, rabbis will do it. Flight attendants. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, that's annoying. You go to like, Oh, shut up. Personal wealth managers like all the in and by the way, and that's why I always say spoken words to cop out. Cause it's really going. I'm going to do comedy. I'm going to do comedy, but I don't want to be judged by the same yardstick. You measure comedy. So I'm going to tell a series of funny stories where you're not really obligated to laugh, but it's spoken words. So don't judge me. Uh huh. If you want to laugh, you're more than welcome to, but if you listen to their stories on all the spoken word stuff, they're just long form jokes without punchlines sprinkled in, but they're the attempt. Is it humor? Yeah. Uh, Ari, by the way, you go see a lot of spoken word. That's all I do. He just snaps. That is my county fair. What? What is it? The county fair. What is the county fair to you? I got all the big players at the spoken word scene. I got Henry Rollins in my car right now. He's the only one I know. Well, that's the, that's a smart move. Like go, go spoke spoken word because everyone will know who you are. Like, like that's the only one I know too. Are there any spoken word shows? Is that still going on? Oh, well they'll do those like KCRW, you know, funded, you know, publicly funded radio, whatever, where people will tell. Stories. Yeah. I feel like it's been replaced with storytelling nights and storytelling shows. Yeah. Yeah. Um, also, uh, Ari does, uh, a little bit called, uh, the amazing racist. Uh, tell us about a couple of those, uh, funny bits. Well, there'd be things like I would go down to, um, uh, pick up a bunch of Mexicans at a home Depot to say, come help me fix my deck. And then I drove around for awhile and then I drove to an INS building and I would jump out and yell, let me grow as they all scattered out. Yeah. Different directions. Cruel, but funny. Yeah. Things like that. I, I took, uh, we have it. Do we want to check it out? Check it out. How long is it? Uh, by the way, I, I did a man show bit where I picked up a bunch of day laborers and took them out for makeovers. Really? Yeah. Like legally. So what we're going to do is we're going to go over there and talk with them a little bit. Okay. Just look at them over there. Just standing there. Like animals. Oh, let me work. Let me work. I feel like I'm gonna die. It's going to be way too long. One of them will speak English, otherwise I don't know how to communicate with them. All right. Well, fast forward to the part where we get to the end because this, uh, again, people are probably listening while they're walking their dogs. Uh, I love that. Give us some other, uh, got some other, other good racist things. I went to a, I went to a Jewish market, dressed up like a priest and try to get people to sign a petition. I went to a Jewish market, dressed up like a priest and tried to get people to sign a petition. I mean, I'm not asking for the job, but if I was auditioning for the job, that would be one of my first orders of business. Let's put this stuff in writing. How are we going to handle the Jew problem? Yeah. First be like, all right, everyone, demount. You can get off your horses. This is a Ramada Inn. There's really no room for this. And then I would sit down. I appreciate for brand consistency's sake that you took your horses here. It's not necessary in the lobby. Leave them outside. Yeah. Let's get them watered, get them outside, and tie it up out there on the hitch and post. And then I would talk about everyone knowing about your, you know, the whole thing with the blacks. Wouldn't you say our? Our whole thing with blacks, but not the Jews. Like, I feel like you're dropping the dreidel on this one, and there'd be, like, no laughter, and then I'd go, just the fact that I have to explain that joke shows. That we haven't done the research necessary. That you people are not caught up on this. To properly hate. We've got a long way to go. Right. Woo. It's going to be a long night. Yeah. Yeah, so. I was on one of their websites, some white power website, when all those videos came out and said Jew boys got the right idea. They wanted to appreciate the works, but not the artists. All right. Jew boy, you want to hang out and do some news with us? Yeah, sure. Let's get to that. Is it sad news? Good news with Allison. It always goes a little sad. You should read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. You're Allison. Allison. That's real good. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zip It Cut. It's Allison. Allison. News, Allison Rosen. There's an article here, Adam, that I think you will find interesting. It's about how Breaking Bad is bringing all this business to Albuquerque because tourism is booming. People are going to the restaurant that is the chicken place. And do you watch Breaking Bad? Sometimes. Okay. Gus is the chicken place. There's an actual restaurant. There's a restaurant. What is that? Yes, that is right. Is that what it's called there? Who knows? I think it is. Well, yeah. Oh, no, no. That's not the real name of it. I always complain that I drove Brian Cranston from here to the Burbank Airport because he did the podcast and he's a really super nice guy. He's from out here in the San Fernando Valley. And I drove him to the Burbank Airport after the podcast. He said, I'll call a cab or something like that. I said, I'll give you a ride. It's on the way, practically. So I started giving him a ride. I said, where are you heading? He said, I'm heading to Albuquerque. And I said, what's in Albuquerque? This is, you know, like four or five years or maybe four years ago. And I knew probably second season of Breaking Bad, but I didn't know where they shot it. And he said, oh, that's where we shoot Breaking Bad. And then he said it was supposed to be shot in Riverside. That's what the original script was. Riverside. Signed up for Riverside, but because of taxes and blah, blah, blah, we go in Albuquerque. And then I just think, yeah, now they're going into what? Season five? Season five. And then there's a whole bunch of tourism and it's all. And meanwhile, Riverside's going to go bankrupt. So here's the problem. Riverside is like, we're going to go bankrupt. We need to raise the taxes so that we can get more money from Breaking Bad. The problem is, is you need to lower the taxes so you can entice them to fucking not go to Albuquerque. Sorry. The restaurant is called Twisters. Twisters? Twisters Burrito Shop. And there's a pastry shop that sells. It's like donuts with blue crystallized sugar on it. Because in the show, the meth is blue. That's the kind of meth they make. Somebody gave me some rock candy that was blue. Really? Yeah. Was it from Albuquerque? Yeah. Perhaps. Maybe. Perhaps it was. Yeah. And then also stores sell crystal blue bath salts. I don't. The notion of rock candy. Yeah. First off, it's not like anyone was ever hiking and went, man, I wish I could eat that fucking pebble. But no, I know it's not going to go down. I'm going to have trouble passing that. Passing it. That geode over there. So first off, don't make a candy out of something you really don't want to eat. Yeah. In the first place. Yeah. It's just cat shit candy. Oh, no, no. It doesn't taste like cat shit. It's sugary. It's like, yeah, but I never wanted to eat it, the rock candy. And then you just melting sugar and putting it in a shape shouldn't really be called candy. It's barely a shape. It's barely a shape. It's shaped like a gallstone. It's like, oh, what's raw sugar? It's tiny rock candy. Yeah. The fact that you figured out you can melt sugar. And then just let it cool in a pool of water doesn't fucking make you into a candy. It's still better than black licorice. That's true. Really? Yeah. Black licorice is the. Well, licorice. I'm okay with black licorice. Licorice is gone now. It's all red. Like, I mean, it's all not licorice flavored licorice. We call licorice licorice, but it's not really licorice. We've gentrified licorice? We got rid of the black? It's a red vine. It's a Twizzler. Yeah. It's definitely more. How do you feel? And that's why you probably hate black jelly beans, too. Yeah. Everyone does. That's before we found artificial flavor. There's a few of us who are okay with that. Right, but I'm saying, people, we need to hate the Jew beans as well. Do you understand what I'm saying? The light blue ones. You guys are completely dropping the ball on this. What flavor are they? Have you guys taken meth ever? Like, gefilte fish. Yeah. How was it? It was good. Was it, really? Yeah. Is it, like, instant? Like, as soon as it hits you, you're like, whoa, it's meth. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about it. Like, just speed. Just, like, snorting speed. Yeah? Yeah. Is that it? Well, somewhere around, like. I don't know. You know that part where people go, I didn't sleep for four days? Yeah. Not sleeping. I want a drug where I sleep for five days straight. That's why he's an alcoholic. Yeah, that's why I'm an alcoholic. Because the meth is like, yeah, you're up, but then when it's time to go to bed, you're still up. And you ain't going anywhere. Yeah, and it's never like, I stayed up for four days and I built this house. There's never anything productive that happens at a certain point. No, no, no. I picked all the hair off my right forearm. That's what I did. All right. At least you got it. At least you got something done. Yeah. I remember taking an Adderall and trying to clean my apartment, but instead of just tidying up, I just had to rearrange everything and take everything off the shelves, and it was just as messy as before, just different. Yeah. And by the way, meth sounds so. Wait, trash? It's got a bad rap. Yeah, it just used to just be speed. It was just called speed, and it was like. Speed sounds better than meth. It does. Now, why did you do it? Tell me what you're on. Because I have friends who got to the point in their cocaine addiction where they decided speed was better for them. I never was addicted to anything. I was just always like, count me in. Like, well, have you got something? Why? You know, it's Friday. What's up? Listen, I had to hit a crack, like crack cocaine at like, I don't know, 6.30 in the morning. Today. When I got up. No, I was living in an apartment with a couple guys, and one guy was working like a night shift, and he came back, and he came home at like 6 in the morning with some white trash dude. He worked at a paper mill with, and they were just sitting in the kitchen, like smoking. Again, it wasn't really crack. It was just like smoking cocaine, you know? And I was getting ready to go do construction work, and I just walked into the kitchen, and they were like, hey, you want to hit off the pipe? And I was like, yeah, I've hit off the pipe. I took a hit off the pipe, and I went to work. How was it? Do you even know what it was? It was just like smoking cocaine. It was like, you know, like taking five shots of cappuccino all at once. And then being really beaked up for 20 minutes, and then no one laughed at that. What did it do to your emotions and stuff? Did you feel cool or awesome? I had a kid out of wedlock real quick, and that was it. That was it. That was all I did. Did you really? Just two. Really fast. It's a cliche for a reason. And then be like, I should stop. That was it. No, it was just like, I don't know. It was cocaine. I was smoking it. I don't know. I had a friend who said he did crack for a while, for like two years. And he was like, no, I never liked it, but there was a guy who dealt right on my way home. Yeah, that's kind of how I was. Just convenient. Yeah. And I knew I wasn't a drug addict, and I knew, by the way, cocaine was, you know, like 100 bucks a gram, and I was making eight bucks an hour, like, cleaning trash on a construction site. So I was doing the math. Couldn't give up. It's going to be a bad fucking drug to get strung out on. Yeah. All right. Where were we? Well, this is sort of indefinitely not a Jew news. A Greek soccer player has been banned for life from the Greek national team after he celebrated his birthday. He celebrated his goal by making a Nazi salute. Wow. Really? Yes. Wow. He's all tatted up. Here's the best part, though. He claims that he didn't know that that was what that represented. He detests fascism, according to him, and his coach said that he has no idea about politics. How can you know enough to detest fascism and not be aware of the Hitler salute? Yeah. Interesting. And plus, who, like, does that look like a high, what's he doing? A weird high five? No, he's doing the fucking Hitler salute. Well, hold on, Jews. Yeah. Reel it in. Let's see if he's in action. If he's going all the way up. Just a little bit. This is preposterous. I have, when I moved into my house from 1929, the bathroom floor and the upstairs bedroom or off the upstairs bedroom had a mosaic tile. Of Hitler? Swastikas. You guys, you Jews always step on people's, they're swastikas. They weren't perfect, but they were pretty damn close. And I realized it was just a design the person was doing. It was a repeated design. It's an Indian thing or whatever, but there were swastikas. They were basically swastikas, but obviously that person didn't know what they were doing because this was 1928 that they did this. Yeah. Or. It's been a good look. So, I don't, first off, I don't know where he was doing this, what stadium he was in. Because you can do. I'm not. I'm not defending the man, but let me do it for like 20 minutes here. First off, I talked about. 25-year-olds who have never fucking heard of, like, George Carlin or, you know. Christy McNichol. Christy McNichol. Imelda Marcos. No, but, like, you're making references, and there's 25-year-olds who have no fucking idea what you're talking about. So I want to see. Let's see it, actually. I want to see the guys move. Oh, that's kind of. I don't know. It would have been worse if he'd done the whole from-to-shoulder thing. He did a little flap at the end, which was, like, a little wavy thing. I think he could have fucked that up. That wasn't Heil Hitler. That was Hitler's All Right. Yeah. I want to. So he pulls his shirt off. He kicks the winning goal. He's running out of the stadium. He's flapping his hands around. But here's the whole thing. If that's what he's interested in, we'll know it. We'll see. What I'm saying is we'll see tweets and Twitter. I'm from the past. Yeah, why would he deny it later? Why would he do it like. No, I think there'll be a history of something. It almost seems like. I was like, maybe he wasn't doing it when I see the video. I don't think he was. Yeah. Where was he? Athens. Oh, okay. I remember when I was little and I was watching a lot of Daffy Duck and my parents said something about luck, and I was in the back seat of a Suburban. I was like, luck schmuck. Right. And they were like, Ari, you don't say that. Yeah. And I was like, don't say what? I didn't even understand it was a word. Maybe it was something like that with him. Yeah. I do like the picture of whatever brown guy was sitting next to him giving him a look like, dude, you're nuts. Well, I have to. So. The whole Heil Hitler thing rarely exists in a vacuum. Can we agree on that? What I'm saying is you can't suck Hitler up into a Dyson. No. There are going to be comments, tweets, blogs. Tattoos. Tattoos. Ahead of time. There are going to be things in the last five years where this guy said something about a black teammate or a German something, there's going to be something. So, if there's nothing, then. You don't go just straight to Heil Hitler at a televised soccer game. You don't go from like. Out of nowhere. Yeah, like you don't go from Doug Benson. Yeah. Just sort of. Straight there. Just sort of hanging out to Heil Hitler. We need a progression. Well, maybe on the way there. There's going to be some clues along the way. Maybe on the way there he stopped by some sort of Jewish store and didn't get his proper change back. Yeah, they will do that. Yeah, and then immediately. You know what? Fuck those people. Quickly throw out the game. Right, right. Well, see, that's like the white pride guy that I accidentally dated. The thing that was so confusing was that he denied that he was really part of the movement, but he had the tattoos and he had the music and the Confederate flag and the guns, but he was interested in me. And it was. But. And he said that he's like, you're just. I know what your problem is. You're just trying to categorize me. Like the rest of you. Exactly. But I asked him, did he, you know, and he's like, well, I raised my arm. Hmm. All right. That was a celebration. I don't think he's. It's hard to. It's really hard to. That's a tough one. If you don't do the from the shoulder up, then he just went, you know. And he didn't. I believe. There's got to be a heel click involved there somewhere, too, which I did not see. Also, he has a get rich or die trying tattoo on his belly. And I would think he wouldn't get up 50 cents. Get rich, kid's a Jew. Oh, I see, get rich. Okay, I got it now. Here's the thing. It'll all be in the history. If I see some tweets and I see some whatevers, then he's that. And if not, then he didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I do feel like Doug Benson's going to be pleased that you used him as the other end of the spectrum from the Heil Hitler guy. Away from. Yeah. You can't go from Doug to Heil Hitler. There's got to be a paper trail. Look at the Hitler pens. Yeah, like, you know, I knew OJ did it when I heard 911 calls of his wife going, he's going to kill me. You know who this is. He's going to kill. Then you kind of go, oh, yeah. I've called before here. Yeah. But it's interesting that he was banned for life from Greek soccer. That guy's banned for life for that? Yeah. He's banned for life for that? Yeah, yeah. Greeks weren't even. I could see it in Austria. Yes. That's a lot. Even if he had made the arm movement, should he have been banned for life? No, fine. Fine is plenty. Well, okay. There's a lot of things. Some people like soccer. you always think about. I always feel. Like, Michael Jordan in the height of his game is never going to be banned for life from anything because he brings so much to the game and he wins so much. He's an incredible player. So it's like he's going to get fined. He's going to get suspended. He's going to be disciplined, but the league needs him and the team needs him and he ain't going anywhere. So the first thing is when a team just cuts you or bans you for life or whatever, first impulse is sort of like, do they really want you on the team? I know you scored a goal, but was that your first. First goal? Yeah. Like, you probably weren't a goal-scoring machine. I've usually found that the guys that. Look, whatever, whether you're Microsoft or you're the Chicago Bulls, when there's one guy that's really making you a lot of money and doing really good for your company, there's disciplining you have to do and you have to do the disciplining just so people see you discipline them. But you can let it go. But you would like the money more than you like the banning for life. And so I would suspect that either they know something about this guy, and the sort of white supremacist thing, or he just sucked and they're looking for an excuse to cut him. Madonna asked the Boy Scouts to lift the ban on gays. She was speaking at the GLAAD Awards and she said, I can build a. Well, she was saying that she wants to be a Boy Scout, but saying she had been turned down even though she has the qualifications. I can build a fire. I know how to pitch a tent. I can rescue kittens from trees. Most importantly, I know how to scout for boys. I think they should change that. Change their stupid rules. And she was, you know, dressed like a Boy Scout. She's such a hero. Have. Do we talk about her being a blowhard? Yeah, we do because I saw that footage of her at the Buenos Aires soccer stadium or wherever she was and she was doing, like, sound check in the rain and somebody was smoking and she was like, put that cigarette out and then she's like, I'm walking off this stage and I'm not coming. It was like an open soccer stadium and somebody was smoking a cigarette. Like, it was windy, it was rainy, and it was outdoors and she was, like, doing a sound check and she kept, like, saying, I this. Like, she starts everything with I will. Like, if you look at all her, sort of, life proposals, it's a lot of, I wish I could be a Boy Scout. I would make it. I need you to. I, I, me, I. If you want me to, I, I. Just sort of listen to people who are narcissistic and there's a lot of, I, me, me, I. Remember when Julie Roberts announced one of the black people for Oscars? Denzel Washington, maybe? She was like, I love my life. Denzel Washington wins. Do you remember that? Yes. How could you make this possibly about you right now? Narcissists can't do it. Here she is. Where is she? Her. It's Buenos Aires. There you go. Is that her in the coat? I think she's going up on stage. It's so windy that the umbrella was turned from an Audi to an Iny. So, it's really windy and it's rainy and it's during a sound check. I didn't see him. If you're going to smoke cigarettes, I'm not doing the show. No! Fuck you. You don't care about me? I don't care about you. Yeah. See, it immediately, hold it, pause it for a second. It's like, listen, somebody's smoking because they want to smoke. It's not me. It's not, you don't care about me? Yeah. See how immediately everything turns into an attack. Everything gets sort of internalized. It's a fucking photographer smoking 80 feet away. With someone like Madonna, is that because the last however many years of her life, 35, 40 years, have been, literally, everyone she's come in contact with, 95% of the people she's come in contact with have been there to serve her. Yeah. Employees on payroll, record, you know what I mean? Like, is it just sort of a conditioned thing? I think she was like that from birth is what I'm saying. Yes. I think there's no way to know. I'm just curious what your hypothesis is. What gives them the motor is what creates a success is what turns them into fucking animals when they get that success. So the initial thing is that they had that seed to begin with. I think everybody's got that seed, though. Like, everybody could be Uday and Hussein. Yeah. I can just rate people on their wedding night. Like, hmm, let me think about it at least. Yeah. Well, here's, here's what, and then when it goes unchecked. Yeah. Yeah. I got away with it. Yeah. Maybe this should be my regular Tuesday. We all know, we all know people, I say this all the time, who if they just got a half ounce of juice would turn into fucking complete animals. Like, like so glad so-and-so's not famous because so-and-so would be a fucking huge douchebag. Are you listening, Brian? So-and-so would be a fucking animal. I have a half ounce of juice. Come on. And it is easy to get carried away with yourself when you're Madonna, but she's definitely a nature nurturer. Well, let's see. It's from Chile, by the way. Let's see the rest of it. So she says, you know, you don't care about me. I'm not going to perform, basically, is what she says. I can't sing if you smoke. Entiendes? Outdoors in a 20-mile-an-hour wind. Don't smoke. If you love me. She's walking off stage now. If you love her, you don't do it to her. She just took this Evita thing too far. Is the Entiendes thing kind of racist? Because she had the whole thing in English, and then she punctuated with Entiendes. What's Entiendes? Do you understand? Oh, we didn't understand any of that, but that I understood. They're there to hear her music. They obviously know some English. It's like when I order Italian, I always end with capiche. Can you look at Madonna now and imagine a time when you used to jerk off to her? Yes. Did you even comprehend that, really? I was never into the material girl, personally. I understood why others were. Even when she had that naked book with all the pictures? Where she was smoking in them? Yeah, exactly. I did beat off to that, but it was to the cigarette. I really wanted a cigarette. All right, one more story. There's a Kickstarter to fund a Veronica Mars movie. Yeah, I heard about that. And the project reached $1 million in the first four hours and 24 minutes that it was online, which makes it the fastest funded project. At this point, it's crossed $3.6 million. To make a Veronica Mars? I saw it. Everyone, speaking of things to jerk off to. She's the high school private investigator? I guess. I don't fucking know. She's not really in high school, so you're allowed to jerk off to it. Somebody. It's part of the rules, by the way. She's fake high school. That's right. By all means. So like Andrea from 90210? Oh, fuck yeah. Wait, Zuckerman? Yeah. Nobody beat off to her. I know. So somebody tweeted me this, because I'm working on my next movie, and I want to use Kickstarter, one of these things, to get it funded. And they said, look, this is amazing. And I actually watched a video that they did, and it was cute, and it was funny, and all that. But I think Warner Brothers owns it. Or Warner Television or something. They gave their blessing. Oh, really? Well, this is a weird, slippery slope thing going on. Yes. Because the whole idea is, I'm going to start a micro-brew, except for you're owned by Coors. So wait a second. Yeah, I feel like this could just turn into the kind of thing where it's a way that movies get started to get attention. And because people who donate on Kickstarter, then they get something in return, and they feel like they're a part of it. And I don't see why every movie, wouldn't be on Kickstarter. Right. Because if you're a producer or you're a studio, you deficit these movies. You go, look, I'll give you $30 million to do a Veronica Morrison movie, and I'm betting I'll make $60 million back. But if someone goes, eh, why not just let the geeks pay for it, and then we'll still own it. Now it sort of flies in the face of this whole sort of indie, you want to do this documentary, but you can't get it done because you're not a studio. Yeah. Now it's with a studio, and the studio's going, fuck it, I don't want to pay for anything. Let everyone pay for something. You want to see the Zippy and Sluggo movie? That's right. Time to cough it up. Get busy, nerds. Get $10 million to start with. Start dancing. Yeah. It's interesting. I think I know the answer. Was this a popular show? Did people like the show? Obviously some people did, but apparently. I think there's a lot of fan sites and stuff like that. I don't know. It lasted like two seasons on the WB, and then a season on the CW or whatever it is. But I don't know how it works other than, this thing made like $2.6 million in like one day. And with 26 days left to go, I guess out of the 30, they've made $3.6 million. I could just pay for this already. That's already a budget for a movie. Because they were asking for $2 million, so they've already met and exceeded their goal. I think it was one super fan who donated $3.6 million, and then the rest just chimed in a little. I can't wait to review this. World's most expensive windbreaker. This is Veronica Mars. I love that. Let's bring it home, baby girl. That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, cunts. That was the news with Alison Rosen. Two seasons on UPN, and last season on the W, W, W, W, WB. That's when they joined forces. Nissan and Datsun. Yeah, when they told me to. Yeah, Nissan was just always Datsun. Datsun was always Nissan. They just finally dropped the Datsun part. I thought they bought it. I thought I remember them buying Datsun. They were buying Datsun and then slowly getting rid of the name. No, I think they just went with Datsun. They're always Nissan. I'm a Nissan geek or Datsun weirdo. I probably have 13 Datsun race cars or something like that. That's my first car was a 200SX, a Datsun. Oh, really? Yeah. Those are the big drift cars now. Tokyo drift? That style of drift? Well, yeah. Good enough. Tokyo. How did you feel about them going on with the man show? Oh, you know what's weird? All right, stop music. Jimmy had feelings about it. I had no feelings. I'm- Dead inside. Dead inside. Awesome looks so over. I'm kind of on the outside too. I mean, to be fair, I'm consistently dead. In and out, yeah. In and out. Straight through. And I was like, well, you know, we did 100 episodes and now we're going to move on and do other things. And they can just- They can just go do whatever they want. I mean, they'll fuck it up. Yeah. Because the producers are hacks and everyone- You were done regardless though. Everyone's a hack. Yeah. Yeah. And they're never going to do it right. But we put the template in place. I mean, it couldn't be easier. It was four seasons of here are the juggy dance squad girls and then the thing with the trampolines. That's how bad producers are. This thing was laid out like an Ikea diagram for a very easy end table. Like, all you need is plug in two dudes. But as per usual, they didn't get the joke. They thought the joke was guys making fun of women and drinking beer. So it got a little bit mean spirited. But the producers were hacks and didn't know what they were doing. And they didn't produce the first four seasons of the man show. I'm sure they took credit for it. They were just the producers. The fifth season is what happens when they produce. And that's why it came out like shit. And there's, you know, Doug and Joe are both good. And the show- The show never really found its footing, even though, like I said, the tough part of the show is the beginning when you're trying to figure out the format. A lot of trial and error. Yeah, Hollywood gets these ideas of like what black entertainment should be or what dude entertainment should be. And none of us do that. It's- Or the version of dudes hanging out. Well, the dude version of Hollywood is like it's done by a gay alien. It's like, this is what dudes would act like. This is what I would act like if I wasn't an alien and sucking cock right now. This is what I would do. And then you get the stupid- Because everyone in Hollywood, no one- It's like the blue collar version of Hollywood is written by guys who went to Princeton and Yale. Who have- Letterman wrote Good Times. It's like, why? Why in the world would this guy be trusted to write anything about a ghetto? Hey, he knows what it's like to grow up on the mean streets of Indiana. All right. Ari Shaffir, thank you so much. Skeptic Tank. And my special is available now on chill.com. And the special as well and the podcast on iTunes. Oh, shit. Little quick business to do. Allison Rosen is your new best friend. New episode available on iTunes or our app this week's guest, John Daly. John Daly's really funny. He's very funny. AllisonRosen.com is where you can go. We're going to be doing some live shows coming up at Amalfi and Phoenix coming up. A couple of shows beginning in April and also the 5th. And the 6th. And watch those shows and watch how the, as I like to say, how the fudge is packed. See it live. Also, new pricing for my Mangria. BuyMangria.com. We figured out how to ship that stuff at a discount. So, until next time. This is Adam Carolla for Ari Shaffir. Allison Rosen and Paul Bryan saying mahalo. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 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If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Mean Girls. Shut up. Titanic. And so much more. They're free. That is so fetch. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.