The podcast features a lively, humorous conversation between hosts discussing travel, culture, and personal life across countries like Germany, Poland, Estonia, and the U.S. They highlight the quirks of European social norms—such as German rigidity, Polish construction culture, and Estonia’s long summer days—while contrasting them with American casualness and financial habits. Personal anecdotes explore messy living, divorce experiences, and awkward social moments, such as a near-dating incident in New York involving a shy elevator encounter. The hosts also promote consumer products: Warby Parker for making glasses easy and affordable, and Rocket Money for tracking subscriptions and managing finances. The tone remains playful and self-deprecating, with a focus on relatable struggles like anxiety, poor hygiene, and social missteps. These personal stories blend into broader cultural commentary, illustrating how lifestyle, habits, and expectations vary globally. Ultimately, the episode serves as both a comedic reflection on everyday life and a light-hearted guide to practical tools that help navigate modern adult challenges.
Gang toady's got a limited fourth of July drop coming at you. Mm-hmm. We got some nice t-shirts Show up to the barbecue looking fresh clean and patriotic. Yeah, don't be a bozo available at are you garbage dot com while supplies last Happy fourth of July Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after you're to be clear See I'm your host day trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at toadies in the new edition She's upstairs peeking out the windows Okay, my cause coming in from right next. That's a quick one right there. Well, yeah, we'll throw chop stick and move It's coming at you from right next to me is the CEO of our you garbage bit of a you know international business man He gets around Germany France. Yeah, I would New Jersey Senegal. Yeah, I just got back really you did like shows to no Right now my wife's from there. It's just visiting your wife is German. Yeah. Oh my god Jesus Christ. That must be hell It ain't great when I went to like backpacking trips I would meet other backpacker when you any time you saw a German chick You know she's gonna be like so like strict and like they're like they like rules. They're like oh, oh, you were late You call me back and then they like there was these two German German chicks in Romania and Bokare You know and Bokare's there's like dogs everywhere eating dogs. They're like they're like the ribs are out in the corner You can't even pet dogs that they kick them. They hate dogs. They have a big dog issue. You can't And this is it's illegal to feed a dog. It's like worse than yeah, you can bang a kid when she's like 13 in Romania They're like hey, it's love But you feed a dog. That's like the biggest no-no and these two German chicks to saw a random puppy They're like nice people from Berlin, you know, so they take the dog to like local because they want to take it back to Germany So they want to get it like shot Thank you. Yeah, I'm the year stripped and like numbered and stuff and they go to like some Veterinarian office in Romania in Bokare's and they're like we want to and they're like You want to take a dog they look at dogs like a piece of like yeah a piece of gum on the floor So they're like you want to take this dog to jump there They're like, we don't even have a department. Yeah, we don't even know how to do vaccinate a dog. I need a vaccine I don't have a tetanus shot. Fuck tetanus. So people in the vet's office and since so do what they did They he did in the like in the bag with the dog in the bag and then on the plane It was like a big commotion when they found out they had the dog and they got him to Germany and posted on Facebook crying like Please accept the dog like they fought for a dog Brode Kevin Ryan ladies gentlemen. What's up everybody? She's always just make sure you're ready to subscribe And I think it's full video available on YouTube for about Spotify boys are climbing the fucking charts And then patreon.com the greatest website of all time check. Is she like strict on you? Because I know these Germans are absolute lunatics Honestly, no not much not much now. This is a good does she like him? We'll be right back a German wife hates your fucking friends. No, she likes think though because your friends because your friends bring him back to the level That she took so long to get me out of yeah, no I goes back with his caveman the underthal friends, you know, they all get Neanderthal together like a boy's week and his health for a German wife What do you think we're doing eating deer meat and fucking making cookie? You guys have known each other for a long long time for marriage, right? Yeah, yeah, and you have you guys like like Karen hookers or something Hookers to get some sounds like he's about to give us like some you've done something together You banged like some path past out broad like he's on the road in like in West Virginia like you know West Virginia or something you know ever kill a dog turn that's like a secret between you Yeah, and now you know the key we did kill a guy. I knew you know it sure a deep down. Now we have yeah So you so you know that secret about each other, and that's why we hate that It's like our own little Epstein island. We got dips. Yeah, that's kind of we have Epstein at home Ladies and gentlemen, we couldn't be more excited ever incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today You know, I'm you love one of the big stars. I know Austin Texas. Give it up for mr. Ari Maddie The kid comes in as they say hot guns blazing bang hooker bang When her family looks at your job, do they go like He's got cash. He's talking about doing well. That's when they always tell me real story. Oh, that's what the god damn Gestapo agent. She's from check. Yeah, they're her family Beautiful sweet lady. He's got a very loving happy She was born in raising Germany her parents were checked. Oh, yeah, that's a whole different. Yeah, yeah, so she's Big pocket and a cheat I don't know people are old school check. Oh really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, check you don't like checks. No, I love we I don't know You like it's give me the higher all the thieves and rats of your Anything east you're Croatian Estonian stonian he's just slapped a shit at it, but I have some Finnish heritage. I have some Ukrainian heritage a little bit So we're all mixed, you know, and check and checks are like they're just like us. You're all polished us. I'll pay that for you That's really worse than a jiffy. Give me the give me some jiffy. It's worse than a jiffy. Who don't you guy? Yeah, give us give us a break. Well Polish people are like Like like Estonians go to civilized civilized places like Finland and Sweden and UK to build their shit We're like the Mexicans of them. Oh gosh, yeah, the Mexicans for us. Yes Polish Ukrainian and Polish. That's all they build. They just build you really $1 they build you how It's crazy. I dated a Polish girl for a year and I used to work construction It's a big issue because you would have your license and you're like a nice guy you're on time and then the bosses like don't get cute because I can call eight polish For ten bucks in one room. They love living together Really, I thought they were a little more Of course, I thought they were a little more. I like you know. Oh, it's Warsaw. It's beautifully. I grew up in For a third to eighth grade. I think Dina in Poland. Who's got more cash? You're stoning your Poland Polo have the numbers, but I mean beauty-wise see we're close to Sweden and Finland those businessmen come over and fuck our women So I got to finish that everyone's got to finish that or Swedish dad So the money comes in with the prostitution and all their booze bags That's all they do. They come over and they just get fucked up in our country and it helps the economy a lot who goes to Poland Yeah Let's hang out at Auschwitz. What a great weekend with the boys. Oh, it's just such a good open. Who goes to you like? Yeah, I guess I don't know I never thought of it that way You want to hang out in Poland let like food go bad in their fridge and hang out there I got a bad avocado if you want it. Ari, how the hell you been man. Oh good. Yeah, how you guys We're doing pretty good. Wow. You're out there. You're killing it. You're on the road. Yeah, it's awesome climbing the charts as they say I don't know about that. What's the living situation? Now you still got the same spot. Yeah, in Austin. Yeah, same spot. I have a little house there Texas you can get like a tiny house as much as a fucking one bedroom apartment with a Dominican guy here So did you buy it or you see a renning? No, no, I'm rent by what and what did you have you made any improvements? It's the last time that we seen you Well a little bit of cash coming in don't well any upgrades. You're making a new couch new TV car No, no, I don't even have a driver's license You know, I'm like yeah, can I do like I'm not good with documents and logging in and like going to like doing the stuff So I can drive a car. I've driven cars growing up in the That is such an Eastern I got a car. Okay, get it right. I drive you. Anything with wheels. It's a really rip I don't know how it works. I'll figure it out. I'll go slow just give me the thing I hate that you got to take you got to be like wow and they ask all the questions. What's your idea? I like rift through an intercept Oh, let's go high school I don't know like numbers but I can rift exactly like Poland. I don't know when it was made or who where it's at But I know like the people a little bit figured out. Yeah, that's good You said you were you were getting ready to go to uh to go to Estonia right? Yeah, yeah any big plans over there Well, we have mid summer holiday on the 20th. I'm excited about what does that mean? It's like the longest day so the sun never goes down. It's the longest day of the year That's where you are with the sun don't go down Well, really in the winter the sun don't even visit. So don't worry about that. The sun is a bastard. Where are you in Eastern? It's Eastern Europe Well, it's no, no, no, it's northeastern. I really don't let me look. I really don't know where I thought that was the Arctic Circle The sun doesn't go down but but during the winter we have the gray so it's all gray And that's when you kill yourself and do bad stuff and you drown the kids in the top right for a wife to get home I thought you know, I thought you were more down here. I didn't realize you were up there. Yeah Sure we're moldova look. I really thought you guys you're you're bumping with them all dope. Latvia Latvia your bubble it got you You know what's great to do as as a country that's very invaded all the time get really high smoke 22 balls and start zooming out on Google maps and seeing how big raw shock Yeah, it's oh, it's holy fuck. I didn't realize you guys were. Yeah Get out of real estate every time I look at it I get scared Wow That's parking Holy shit, I don't know as you were that close to St. Petersburg either In Petersburg Florida Way better than the original. Let me tell you that I went to St. Petersburg Florida's beautiful. I love it. It's great I would retire there in a heart. I love it. Love it
In New York as soon as I went to Florida. I was like Joe Rogan. We need seven clubs. It's amazing and the whole I love Naples. Everyone was like oh Miami, Miami. Everyone's coked out. I don't like lots of tension in the air. In Naples I can kill everyone on the peninsula because I'm so strong for those people. And that's when I'm on vacation. That's all old people, right? Yeah, it's all old people. Flexing a bunch of old Jewish guys. Everyone's killed. And everyone's chill. You go to the Tiki Bar. I'm the most alpha guy. The cops who up. He's of all. He's an old guy. I can rule Florida. Now I'm relaxed. At least a band handle in Miami. I saw a fist fight next to a cabana. You know, who fights on her? And it was over a cabana. So your theory is who's fighting when there's when there's cabanas. Everybody relax. Have a good time. But they're all coped up and coped up. Chicks around exactly. So what happened was. Yes, what happened was they go for a dip. But they don't leave a lot of stuff in the cabana. They leave like one shoe or something. You know, so and then a new Reuters saying shows up and takes over. They come back from the ocean and within two minutes I saw a fistfight. Who fights coming out of a dip? How angry are you also fighting in sand's gotta be tough. Oh, fuck that shit. It's really. It's all because of that. Even the guys. Whenever you see a fight, they don't want to do it. I told that to my wife. So now I have to and you're not going to get wet your pussy. Even if I back down and we survive your pussy. So what happened? It's over. And it's over. It's over. It's over. It's a wrap. He's my man, even a man. He's not I can get a Cuban guy who fight people who fight the police. Now that's a man and the pussy saw what happened. So you have to die for the. Yeah, that's. You can fight or you can scrap. You know, you know, I can fight when it's like the mats are down. We warm up. We do the robbers for my shoulder. And you're my friend. I know my friend. And I'm training with my friend. We're rolling around and making gay jokes. Yeah. I can do street 3 a.m. Fucked up. I need a big warm up and clarity. I'm not combat ready. He's got a listen like an M&M song or something to get pumped up. Yeah. When you when you did like MMA or just everything's like I'm always like Alex Perrer. I'm ready to go in there. I'm a Spartan 10 years and I'm a pussy at heart. I'll let my girl get punched before I literally I'm a terrible fighter. I'm a great witness. Are you dating now? You got a girl? You locked in. You playing the field. I did it. I dated a girl for a little bit. You know, you know, that is lost in a fight Miami. Are you both like marriage? No. Yeah. Well, I'm on my way out of the marriage. Yeah. I'm really. I'm married. Yeah. Yeah. You have a little bit of tension around you. You think so? Wait more than last time. Are you kidding me? I'm very relaxed. Your life is about to get you. But is it the money that you're like losing? That's what making you angry. I already took care of it. Really. Yeah. I swear to God. The way I've heard about this American divorce in Estonia. You can leave your wife with two kids on the curb who gives a fuck. It's mine. Yeah. That happens all the time. That happens to my mom too. That's if you have that happen to my mom my step that my step that bought me a PlayStation and I said can we get it modified so I can get the games. Remember you would get the games like for one dollar. He says if we have money to buy the PlayStation. We have money to buy the games like a baller six months later. Six months later. He moved out. So I had no games. No nothing. Me and my mom for fuck. But these divorces here. Yeah, you guys messy. If my no matter how much money I have, if you take five grand from me. I'm killing your cat. You're not taking my money that I work. I did a weekend in West Virginia in front of in cells for this. I was in the double tree with me and the fan thinking of suicide. I worked for this five grand. You're not taking. All right. What is wrong with you? I don't know. I just. I've heard so many horror stories. I get it. I get bad news. I get it. I had to have the conversation with my wife recently. Because we have a we have a one year old and we walked out of the store. There was a crazy guy who was like screaming and stuff. And I'd like. I just had get on this side of me. So mainly protecting the kid. For sure. My wife can handle this. You know, check roads. You should protect yourself. You can make the kid. He can make one of you. What are the chances? He's also going to be a star. I'm flattered. You called me a star. Big bucks. And I just said you what if you know in the rare instance that there's an issue. I go, you get the baby and go. Do not try to prevent. I'm not I'm not an engaging. I'm just going. I think all right. Disagreeze with this. Very strongly. If I have a problem, I look at my boy from the honey. Sock him off by his time. I tell the kid go get the cops. I'll actually I'll go get the cops. You stay with mommy. I'll go get the cops. I'll be right back with the money. I'll win. Do you want to have kids? I guess so. I mean, I want to. Yeah, I would have a fellow. Are you 34 34? That is a guy I can call patina and find some. That's so good. My friends chicks. They're all fuck now. If you're a 34-year-old woman, you're literally over. They call it. In culture. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. These are your angels. These aren't your personal. But these are not. This is a society. It's not my. I'm not. I'm portraying what you guys have done. Also, after 35, it's called a geriatric pregnancy. I don't like that. That's crazy. Right. That's crazy. I go, no, the women didn't sign off on that. Some dude came up. Yeah. A geriatric pregnant after 35. You. But in America, with these female comedians, they have cash. When they got cash, they have kids at 45. Yeah. You have money. Yeah. You can do the fertility. Crazy eggs. Yeah. Yeah. Over easy. And all of my age women, they want to stability. They want to career. They want to drive a license. Yeah. I'm going to need that. I'm coming in with a lime scooter. That's what he texted because I'm parking my city bike. That's fucking. He goes, are you mad? He's driving around the city on a fucking city bike. I guess you have no idea. I have nothing. Yeah. I don't even know. Yeah. So I don't know. That's tough. Yeah. How do you get around an Austin? He's take hoobers. I got a bicycle on my boy legs. Really? I know bird. Yeah. So you're downtown. I don't. I don't like the fact that I have a thing under my ass that I can kill a whole family with another deal with that. Yeah. Yeah. Because I want to drink. Come on. Sure. Come on to chill. Really? I don't like like responsibility parking. Are you kidding me? What? Let me stay here. Where? I'll be back. I swear to God. I don't like that rules around. Who's cleaning your ass? I got that. You're not a rule guy. Who's cleaning ass? Are you cleaning ass? You got a clean lady? I really tried to do this American. Well, I dated for a girl for a while. Oh my God. It's like you reach a new age in life. The beds. It don't look. At pillow. Don't look like it's been pissed off. It's crazy. It's a crazy upgrade because I haven't been in a relationship for a while. Oh, it's I'm a new man. It's crazy. It's things smell. You're an adult relationship. There are so many weird smells in my house that I don't know where they're coming from. Like and women will clean a house clean it like they'll move a shelf behind my shelf right now. There's avatar. I mean it's bad. I don't clean that. I don't see it. You're clean. I mean, you do the best. So I thought about the cleaning lady American American American. You know, you guys. That's American. Yeah, we guys. You don't clean. He's in Europe. It's a big, big boom in business. My wife. My wife doesn't tell her family and friends. Go to Angie's list. So then I tried it two times. I got cash lying around. I'm worried at the paranoia. And also I clean for the cleaning lady. Yeah, you cannot see my default. Yeah, you got to get a presentable place when she's come over to my place. That's very important. And I tell him I'm sorry. So messy. That means I have cleaned for four hours. So sorry to get to this messy. Not normally like this. And the shame I felt like when a cleaning lady saw what's really going on in a single man's life. It's bad. So now I'm cleaning for the cleaning lady and then the whole operation fell apart. Yeah, I'm just a happy pig and shit. Yeah, I'm not going to pretend like I'm better than anybody else. I'm a little pig and shit. Yeah. I do other things. I talk. I walk. Like I'm I have other qualities. Yeah, you have a lot of good quality. My dick works. It's not the biggest, but it works. And it's fun to be with me. You know, I don't have a driver's license, but we'll take line bikes down town and we'll laugh the whole way. He's on the highway. So the chicks, I'm banging right now. They're all coming. Are you aware of your own merch? So the chicks, I'm dating right now. There's a lot of women coming out of divorces right now. And that's when they go for a guy like me. Yeah. Cause I'm a fucking loose guy. Yeah, you're fine. You're at this husband. Yeah, he was an accountant or something. You're like, and I don't even listen to you. I'm like this respectful, but fun. I don't answer the calls. I'm like. Wow, bull. War be Parker, War be Parker, War be friggin Parker, baby. Listen up. If you wear glasses out there, you know the process of getting glasses stinks. That's where War be Parker comes in. People put off getting glasses way longer than they should be.
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Guys, you know by now, rocket money can track your subscriptions, and it has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with a few taps, saving users over $880 million in cancel subscriptions. It has automatic transaction categorization across all of your accounts. You can put your checking account, a credit card account, plus it's got customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns. If you got a big purchase coming up and you want to make sure you know where everything's going, if you have an event and you want to go, "Hey, what am I spending on this, this, this?" You go in, "Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop." You can track all the spending. Listen, I did not grow up with a financial literacy. Nobody taught me nothing. I've had to teach myself, and rocket money has been instrumental in that process. You download the whole dashboard. They've got a lot of features. I get emails every week, "Hey, you have these recurring charges coming up. Hey, I just got one. Hey, what's this charge?" It just came in for $300. It's higher than normal. Get eyes on it. Get ahead of it and it makes you just understand what's coming in and what's going out. It can solidate your checkings, your savings, your loan investments into a single dashboard and gives users a clear view of the financial picture. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel on one of subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let rocket money help you reach your financials goals faster. Join rocketmoney.com/carbages. That's rocketmoney.com/carbages. One more time, rocketmoney.com/carbages. Do it. Huh. What's in your house that makes you feel classy? Or what have you got? What is something, yeah, what is something you do? You spend money on, you know, you buy. That makes you go, "Oh my shield." This makes me feel. It doesn't have to be classy. It doesn't have to be, you know, it could be flying first class. It could be staying at a nice hotel from time to time. I tried those espresso machines, too many buttons and shit. What the fuck is happening? You're like a caveman. Too many buttons. Yeah, yeah, and then an error. You ever see an error on a device and you Google the error in his story that has never happened. Yeah, you get like that. I got out B-94 morning or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, chatchipity is like you're on your own. So I do a French press. Oh, gentlemen. Yeah, I like it takes a while. Do you ground the beans yourself? Of course. I'm a big coffee guy. That's my. Grounded beans, where? The house are done at the supermarket. And even the machine, the middle. Oh, yeah, yeah, I go down to the place, place, place, with like the LGBT flags. Oh, I get the good call. I get the good call, I smell it. But even the Yura's and the Yura, like an E5, which is the regular Yura with the button, has an internal grinder. What I want is this machine. Like the espresso. Yes, but the small one you get at home, it doesn't have enough pressure. The big ones cost a hundred grand, by the way. And they need maintenance. If I'm going. If I'm really going for something, that's my dream. But the French press takes time. You wait, you push it down, you push too early, you feel bad about it. Sure, I like that. You should give it about seven minutes. You don't want the water boil. I take breakfast. I have a nice garden, no shoes inside. So there are some. Shoes inside, very nice. I bet his place looks nice. The way Americans literally come over. (laughing) Just like Austin AIDS. Yeah. You see like the boy. I'll band-aid on there and stuff, it's bad. And chicks are like, what are we doing later? Maybe cleaning up. I don't know, I'll do that. See, I bet that he's real neat. Takes care of him. No, actually not. I think he's crazy. And those are just things that. These are things that bother him, it's messy. But it's messy. Close, merged. There's like different jurisdictions of clean clothes. You know, there's like the chair, you know, the chair. Yeah, the chair. The chair means. It's halfway there. If it's halfway there. If I go like, this, it's pretty bad. But for a friend, it's good. But if I want to hold on to a girl, it's a problem. So that's the chair. That's the chair. Then there's the floor. One might think the floor means wash. The floor means I take the trash out with that shirt. You know, the utility shirt. I got you. I'm right there with you then. And then it's in front of the washing machine. It's in front. You think that means next step is washing, might not. I might walk past it and see it and be like, I'll just put it on a parking lot. Little bit of life. You are a very nuanced, complicated man. You know that, right? I've never heard anybody so eloquently describe the clothes on the chair. It's very good. It's like that is, that is like around the world. Yeah. Everybody that resonates, that is funny. But if you have a wife, the chair needs to go. Wives have two jurisdictions. 30 or clean. Yeah. They don't like that. Oh, don't, so many times my pitch was in. Throw the fucking shirt in the wash. I literally wore it one time to one spot. I didn't even, I didn't even, I was in the Uber. I didn't even walk around in it. I haven't even sweat in it. A very specific kind of guy. But you know women don't like that. Like, I was, I was, I was a little sleepy before you got here. How about you? Why get a divorce, dude? I'm so sweaty too. I came from a steam room. Oh, you did? Yeah, I went to lifetime. No kidding. I never left. You wouldn't have a steam, little shfits as they call it. Then by the pool, I see like a, you know what I love seeing as a man. 65 year old guy. He still keeps in shape. He does yoga and he's super tan, got a good job in New York. That's got a black girl, fine about 28, she's a little chubby. But for him, she looks like an angel. He looks like an absolute ass. You know, like a skinny old guy with a flab. Yeah. I got that guy, not skinny, but like I got the, I got the saggy gorilla tiniest. You know what, when you get older being fatter, looks better. It's a, yeah. The skinny, they're all the skin and, and they see it in hangs, man. You know when the veins are, some of them don't even work. They're like, they're like straight blocks. Like the tracks have been shut down. Like, like the hard dough and the retired little subway tunnel. Oh, you know, subway. They're about to flood, they're about to flood that tunnel. It's not no use, no more. And him, but he's got a young, like, like chubby fat girl. What this is cause a co-ed spa? Co-ed spa, co-ed spa. What's going on in there, anything? Well, for 300 bucks a month, I will look at pussy. Now do you have the one you can go to any lifetime in the country? Yeah. That's a good pass. You got to get that one. Yeah, you're traveling. You're a big spa guy, huh? I think it's a good thing. Or sometimes they reward themselves so they know the rules. Yeah, they look they know what's going on What's going they're like good for you? Yeah, maybe one day maybe a next Friday on my shorter flight. It'll be me It'll be me But then there's people will never be here, and that feels good you put law back there Do you ever take anything from first class? You take like the little kid that they give you the slippers you bring that home or nothing? No, no, I don't like that nice dude. I saw a guy We just find a germany we land in Germany. Lufthansa. Yeah, it's a little backs. By the way, I have those little backs though Yeah, we do take them sometimes I don't want to say they give you nice blankets. I take I by the way, I keep everything I know I know you've taken this back earn the one from here The guy's walking up from coach to get off and he was going through ransack and everything real. Yeah Yeah, crazy. You'll never I was like you'll never you don't you know you don't Don't belong guy. You know you don't he in finance took my slippers one time really? Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, they do have some nice stuff You get some fresh in there some lotion some cream something like that But have you heard about these dark is airlines when it's the shower? That water can't be good though can't be good. It's full of recycle. Yeah, there's no way we got enough water What a fuck would you have to take a shower on the plane? You want to take a shower when you get off the plane? No, no, too, too, so I get that yeah I would take a shower. I would do it for sure you would yeah Why when the fuck else am I gonna get a chance to shower on a plane is there wait hold on is it a shared shower? No, I think it's you no no no no you get a slot. You get a slot a 15 minute slot then you slot So like most people do it right before landing, you know So it's a question of is there one shower or is there multiple showers? I think there's two showers and they clean everything and the bathroom is big big Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen the pictures. It's crazy. Really, but they clean really nice day like between every Bathroom if if you go there's a there's a special attendant and cleats after every person What if you're a turbulence and you're in there and you fucking fall out your balls are hanging out But you see in my little weener Fucking need that bullshit got my hair plugs in coming back Have you ever seen like pictures how flying used to be 70s. There's like a bar area Yeah, you're so nice fresh fruit. That's just I don't know see belts those things went down 119 11 a year versus a bar on a plane You're saying the trade office worth it. I mean Jesus Christ. I don't think that like 9/11 is why I don't have the bars on there You like you don't you when you go to a stony don't isn't it a big jumbo jet with a bar upstairs? What I've never even seen that they don't have that shit no more No, I thought you said there was that that the ones that have the bubble on top they got a bar of day good turn hang out See you make up a lot of some AI videos of a bubble and you think it's real. There's no bubble There's those big jets with the hump on yeah, no, there's more seats up second floor. No, there's no seats up there I think that's all I just took one. I just took one what yeah, yeah, you can boy. Yeah, where to Germany the lifthons It's a lot of time. Yeah, they have one with the second floor that has like There that's an old old yeah, those old yeah, you get sometimes you'll get on a plane It'll be an astray in your hand or your arm as you're like this thing's gotta be I know. Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking 1978 There's still the same model 747's a 320 those are all models from the 70s You got new shit and it thought I got hydraulics a computer shoot down radar on that shit There's like two planes of ours and I'm so two planes. Yeah, okay, you would know if you're getting on that point It's like the air Emirates flight with right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they don't have them You know, you don't have Delta flights don't have them. Yeah, damn hmm. Okay. Look at that In the world of travel, let's say let's see. I have a flight at noon. What time are you showing up to the airport? Are you you run right through you sprint through? I feel like you're probably You're like packing your bag running through the terminal a little bit smelling your shirt to make sure it's still good If I get there five minutes before boarding, I am already in a good time Get to the airport. No, they get to the say boarding 11. I'm so fucked dude. I have I don't even know You're a mr. Flight. Yeah, you get a mate 50 50 every time. I'm so like why? I don't know how Dude time is a weird thing where it's like sometimes so fast and sometimes so slow It's like the way he's living because I don't even know like sometimes I'll get up at eight for a 10 o'clock flight I'll be there like half an hour early. I'm like how did this happen next time I wake up seven I missed a flight. What is that? You can't tell me time is same Good play. I mean it's great. You got good points dude. You really do you ever make ever have anxiety or anything like that or what or anything? Oh, yeah, oh, no, no, no, no, you do you get anxiety? Yeah, you don't worry if you miss that flight. Oh, yeah, I mean I have a full panic attack and I'm always worried It's not my fault. It's not like I'm learning the copy. Oh Catch me if you can I'm not that guy. I'm worried. Oh, I'm fucking oh But then time goes so quick sometimes it's crazy. You literally look at a watch like okay, okay, okay, okay two hours what I just said Yeah, I hit it that I'll give you it's weird. She does that sometimes it goes so slow and then sometimes you talk to your wife and you're like whoa What the fuck we've been in for hours two minutes. Oh my god Okay, I would have picked you for a little bit more showing up early being on time. Oh, no, no, no Being on time look what happens kids a loose cannon. I know you weren't late today I was late even to my high school dude. I have a memory of high school graduation the egg not graduation the exam Mm-hmm. You have to do like What do you examine? SATs we call them so they're unanimous unanimous you now the score. Yeah, everybody Yeah, we said the SATs are like the nation everybody kind of but this is different subjects Yeah, it's English and math English and we're like, yeah Oh, we do like two mandatory. I think it's math and then literature and literature It's not it's like you have to write an essay or something. Yeah, they had that. Yeah. Yeah, so that and that is the most crucial part Which we because because you can be get see that's another thing you get creative on that I didn't know nothing they the topic was like Like they and they are something. I did my own thing. I think I'm then that is or something I don't know. There was something cool like something. Oh, and And I remember that morning. I know it's exam. It's my high school exam the most important day of my life probably do graduate This fucking thing. I look at the time the vibe is off the vibe is off. I go back and I have that thought in my in the bed. I go I miss it. I just went back to bed. Oh shit. It's like half an hour late and Then the teacher do they send like an outside person to look at the SATs to control? Yeah Yeah, it's like a proctor. They don't do that. Yeah, this is a conflict of interest Yeah, yeah, so there's some con there who already closed the door and the exam is going you can't be late So it's already going but my teacher loved me loved me and she goes with Proctor we would say yeah no tractor and then she grabs me and goes up to the tractor and goes to goes to her like Like or he has a difficult family life and and like you know he's from a violent home and he works Did I work at a trampoline center just to bang those chicks and my mom loved me my mom gave me snack I was eating snacks this morning playing GTA before that so she goes he was late because he comes out of town Do those right here? Did you really work at a trampoline place? I worked at a trampoline place What you mean like like where you go in and jump around or you're soul big rooms? There's like a wall since then there's all these like moms with their kids coming around. I would fit on the moms watch the kid I Wouldn't really watch the kids so many kids fucking broke their legs around me That's one time. I think it's on one time. I'm so good. He's a leg snap Anderson Silva, you know, like She's mad because he was so fat and then another fat kid jumped on the trampoline at the and it's an inner shot It's a double in an inertia cow cow and full snap the mom is crying But she's vulnerable emotion. Yeah And that's when are you swoops in and then I Everything's good with that and I feel the lean bone Like between my hands, and I'm holding on to mom. What are you doing later? Where's his dad at? What do you want to say mercy? I'm telling he's gonna be okay. God damn Don't ask you when it comes to literature in Estonia. Uh-huh. Are you doing like Shakespeare and shit or is it more like Russian Russian Russian? Really like so like Dostoyevsky. What was that crime and punishment or what's it in England? Well Warren P crime of punishment. Yeah, law and order Warren peace I would assume war. Oh, yeah, Warren peace. I didn't read any of them. I read the cliff notes and I riff Yeah, that might be so hard American English or American literature is brutal man Trying to get through fucking Warren peace. I would never you give me a million years to read that shit. It's And also I go and also with my generation. I'm playing GTA 3 yeah, I'm the pivoting hookers in an alley and during the day acting like I'm a nice guy and Following traffic lights and then at night I murder hookers. You stomp them. You get your money back You know, it's how you lose 40 for the hooker. But is that really in the game 75 back and you're like 35 what's the 35? Yeah, yeah, you can stomp a hooker to dead and get the money back that's it. Yeah, you're late. Jesus Christ Let's see a stony aversion and then I try to read like a those two where it's like a seven page Heartbreak moment. Oh, yeah, I can't I just murdered seven hookers
went to bed at the best night sleep exactly I unlock two islands and helicopters are after me because I shot cops I'm shooting police officers what was the last book you read or tried to read no no no now on the on the Kindle I read a lot but only autopar I don't like anything made up all about yeah I'm the same way I hate Harry put all that like an owl talks to me and I get the fuck out of here I'm 34 years old yeah I don't like marvels I don't like any it's so we get me a guy like trying to pay rent like a super hero movie or nothing like wrong men will watch like what is it the galaxy guardians right and like a three is clever man shut the fuck up it's the fuck up I'm moving in with this kid with you with the shape I don't know I can't get into like the made James Bond I like because he bangs real that's a real guy doing real shit it's doable it's doable I could do that I don't I don't get to hear they have like weaknesses and I'm like well we'll just write the week that he doesn't have it just like he can he do it can he not do it does he have powers he's not at powers you're gonna save the day let me guess he saves the day and then the doctor man it's like doctor the city doctor man had the Manhattan you know he's like super super super but there's like a pussy also that doesn't make sense do what are we talking about yeah I'll with this guy if I already have super powers and all the biographies could you read all the musicians and all the comedians entertainers like there's a great one by James Brown no it's it's not even his it's manager I think it's called the one if I remember I don't know and there's like it's a great book where there's like chapter by chapter it's like James Brown's account of what happened and then site closed what actually that's from his manager that's awesome and he's like every story's like you know like and do not man no one home with the band being in the 70s as a black man in Georgia was a rough time the police always gave us trouble police pull us over left us in Georgia all night and then you read the manager he had a hooker in the trunk with a shotgun a different account of it you know that's good reading on the Kindle that's good staying you're staying engaged kids a psychopath what are you talking about try to I'm trying to get on his sides it doesn't fucking hurt me no no I'm kidding how often in the gym you know what's the what's the more what's what's what is the daily routine of already I wake up yeah your French threat you do the French press so late bro you're not doing the French press would you leave for the airport are you got I swear to god I swear to god I could go to bed at 1 a.m. or 5 a.m. or 7 a.m. I sleep to 1 a.m. whatever the it's just happens do you do the coffee a task before you go to the airport if you get an early flight you get the coffee the airport no what I get the coffee when I get to the place I take a nap at the hotel and then I go you don't want any coffee yeah exactly because it ruins the fucking flight a little while ago to hang I'm missing the flight I don't need coffee you know you fucking war yeah I need to calm down will you sleep on the plane no I'm I can't do that I don't know it's I'm also like a big you're a bigger guy I'm a big Neanderthal and I can't I don't know I'm so uncomfortable people always hit my leg I don't know if you get the lay flat can you it's a weird sleep it's one of these yeah like turning and shit yeah I'm not seeing shit a guy in 4b is real chill yeah I'm not seeing shit and I'm like a crazy sleeper too I kick good my pants oh my you kicking your sleep I don't know I just move I know I bite my teeth and I don't know guys it got grinds his teeth I grind my teeth oh my god grind it down when you're sleeping yeah it's crazy that's crazy stop doing that it looks insane and then that that was that was so oddly scary you don't let doesn't look like you and I'll never not see it never not see they say get the gum shield dude yeah like worry about your teeth that night just be your real man's man turn them into dust after the steam moments but yeah you don't plunge after you're in that room part of this is close today really I don't fuck get you get some of that 300 back I know it's great how often do you do this be serious on every day every day every day are you kidding me I have to find the song every day oh it's in my culture we have a song on a shower next to each other we built a sauna before the bedroom it's a thing I have to do it you sauna every day every day I'll find a way I mean if there's no sauna I'll fucking figure it how long you in there for half an hour till I absolutely want to kill myself sweat I count down second you sweat it out sweat it out it's good for you yeah I drink a lot too so I gotta do something gotta get it out and then you shower off or co plunge co plunge hour and then you feel great it physically feels good I don't feel good but I feel better than I did before uh-huh so I can now every day every day do you have a sauna at the house no those are not worth it it's not the right experience but I moved next to a sauna place that's a finished sauna in Austin it's super nice very hot as fuck two two ten two ten two ten for 20 minutes oh oh oh you feel so bad good they're banging out yeah and then you come out you become a new person everything that's where all the sins all the creepy stuff you did last week I want to hang out with him all the weird shit you said to that lady he all sweat it out you all sweat it out repent for your sins yeah that's my church it's all boy I know you're a goddamn sweetheart I am I'm actually like so scared dude I'm scared he's the sweetest guy in the world I love I'm literally terrified every time quite ladies man it the chicks all love them even you know I'm always doubtful about New York I like nature I like calmness I'm already an anxious person so I don't need another New York ramping me up you're anxious or like I'm already like on edge you know no yeah we get it so kids of all the time but this visit has been like magical in the sense of stuff that's happened I get it on Sunday take the elevator I'm gonna sit is an M you know sit is an M like that chain sit is an M oh yeah sit is an M what their thing is nice rooftop nice people nice nice lounge area the room are all very like small but functional yeah they got good stuff good beds it's like a traveller's thing and the check in is there's no here's the card you just go papa papa and you take the card that process needs to be completely changed it's insane check in the hotel working person and it's cool and backpackers use it and hippy hippy people use it because they have a rooftop bar open till 2am only for the hotel guests I like very cool I hate no riff riff I hate when you have a nice hotel and then just people from the street I saw you on the plane don't come up here I saw your path it was blue now you go to this when you're in the city like who you've been hanging out with you go by yourself I mean it was the UFC at White House I wanted to see that at the bar I didn't do any spots that night I need to relax for a second so I go and take a few beers at the rooftop bar very nice you burn it make a few beers at the rooftop bar that's it I talk to people at the bar he has to be sometimes I'm scared you chatting people last time in my lifetime this has happened 34 years old I've traveled a lot I've done a lot of stuff I've never had this happen I go to the elevator check walks on I'm on floor 17 she's 15 check walks on she says nice shoes I say nice dress you know I go come I come back quick too yeah she says I got the rest of it is nice too whoa whoa oh hi I'm like where are you going you tell me like that's what she says I mean what are we doing you're James what are you wearing a dirty shirt it was on the chair chair I'm wearing it Paul go looking kid no no but I like that so now I'm trying to figure out is she mentally ill because that seems that seems like this is a guy who thinks people are out to get him is she mentally ill I know I mean I would also agree with you for sure exactly so you just go let you go you try this don't happen you're trying to get one so I talk to her name is Catalina nice girl big titties nice girl big titties laughs great she's got a big round face those are the best chicks that have a big round face the echo chamber it's like a big laugh and their fun personalities and they always suck dick when you see a chick with a head like stewie from family got when you see a chick with a head like stewie from family got a big American football she sucks dick look into it I've said this on multiple podcasts look into it so this chick super pretty so cute big titties I talked to her I tried to see if she's mentally ill I ask her seven times eight she says 56 like wow 56 no no at what seven times you go 56 it also seemed like you were clashing if the you didn't think seven times eight was 56 I don't know it's 81 mother fuck yeah okay so I find out she's cool I tell her I want to watch the UFC that's what I'm doing tonight and I don't want to bring her because I want to watch UFC by my I don't with my friends I can but if my friend doesn't I watch that's the only sport I watch if you don't know I don't want to hang out with you yeah you want them to know so stupid you're gonna ask stupid because you're like oh this is kind of gay yes move on I'm gonna go alone do a bar some watch him drink in the beer and I start getting text message he starts having pictures her in the room like really the whole is out like sexy pictures sexy yeah I picked up one and she's like he said the whole is that first and it's like how about you finish your gale of sport and you come over to my room on the 15th floor and fuck the
You know, I didn't go I was scared, but I've never had that happen. No way. That's New York That's not the New York I live so next day I wake up in Orange if it gets me a spot that Audition at the seller. I've never I'm always scared. I'm always scared to ask I get that I do Joey This is podcast, which is you I'm doing your guys podcast. That's it. This is like a good trip It's like a good trip for the recon girls. There was the border recon day on Sunday Walk around. They can't call me they call me Vanilla And I felt offended like like they're scary. Yeah, yeah, there's an attitude. You didn't go and hook up with the chicken in the 15th floor I was scared. Yeah, but it was hard Follow you're gonna go check out the hotel okay. What hotels in them. I'm here for the fight after the you know after the like after UFC and you know, it's like I'm like a guy that if I need to do something like that You need to happen like the ball needs to get rolling if ice. I'm not like a zero to a hundred kind of yeah, yeah Like like on the elevator and then but then when we step away and I start thinking I'm scared now a little you're going in like Hold kind of you're like going from like oh, we're just gonna go and do this Like come get a drink. Well hang out. She wanted to get a drink too, but I don't want to really like I'm gonna watch the fight Yeah, I mean holy shit Justin Kate. She's reading the declarate. She's not he's not reading, but he's looking at the declaration of independence And then walking out the flight the Spanish guy if she'd just said hey, come on back to my room now you would have went though No, that she kept texting me all night. Of course. No, but I mean right there in the moment on the elevator. No, no, then definitely not really It's scary. You gotta be you gotta head over to head with a second nickels when you get in there. You don't watch I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm so you would you would prefer but the fact the fact that you gave me like Verification or like hit on me. That's sometimes enough. I went to the hotel and jacked off alone thinking of her That's a pretty good philosophy. You know, sometimes that's even better. Just the fact that yeah, cuz usually you talk to girls I got all I mean like for four hours. I gotta. Please. I'm actually a sweet guy. I'm scared. I'm scared. Please, please, please, please But I've never had someone reverse that on me where I'm kind of like a Whoa, yeah, put you on your heels a little bit and she liked it too. She was like I scare and she like stepped up to me in the elevator Like steps right up to me like, huh, cuz she knows what she got And I was like a big Stewie face Those are the best chicks all of my all not all of my ex go actually. Yeah, the two last ones did it and also they weren't the best dig suckers So there's a pad But they got a big laugh. There was laugh chicks a lot of teeth. You need to see a lot of teeth So it's a big mouth. It like rates a lot of reverberation. Those are fun You thought about a lot of things I've never thought about Some girls have a little like a mouse mouth, and you know, it's like it's gonna be like You hear girls that you can't even hear what they're saying. I hate to be a girl like that in a restaurant in New York We get the shit table in the middle. I can't hear you And it's that I can hear from the bathroom Somebody that's rowing another party. What do you want? What if I fall down and the stairs and we need help to this I need a big bitch creates an echo throughout the cave. We're in I'll not say you're at that dinner, right? Is there any dinner you're out with a lady where you're not picking up the check Or you're always picking up the check. I used to not pick up the check due to financial resources Of course, I'm saying now to your your new budding career obviously you'll pick up the check I'll pick up the check because you because that's like what you do, and it feels good. That feels good And also girls are pretty even a pretty girl. That's a content. You don't want to fuck give her the dinner. Just feed her They deserve it. They're out there fucking in an alley getting approached and seeing cock and it's scary being a girl It's scary being a girl. You got to get the baby You got to do a lot of stuff as a girl and you got to be pretty if you're not pretty I don't even look at you It's a rough life as a girl. I'll buy you dinner for all our sins for all our sins if she's pretty But she's she's not nice. That's a turn off. It's I hate that it kills you or kills it You kill even a thank you all of the girls that I've ever dated in my life have always been sweet in the sense That if we go on holiday and I'm picking up stuff for something They've always and it's not that I need it. This is it's not that I need it But it's just a nice little thank you. I don't need you to be fucking just just recognize that it And then you know the things I do to you later at the hotel now I say thank you because I'm also doing some things that shouldn't be done You're so beautiful and I'm I'm a fucking like I look like ass. I mean like a pig. I mean, you know, I'm not like I'm not a lady Ladies are so much more beautiful. I'm very true. I like them a lot. I know. Yeah Oh, have you ever what do you guys prefer like pretty girl? Or let's say you're out on a night and and you're having fun. You're coming back to the game and you're doing well in comedy And you're hitting on a group of chicks one is really pretty a group of chicks. No, you don't know me You're not I'll stop you right there. Your life is a flat. Who wants to fuck me. You're like scouting You're scouting. Okay, and there's a pretty pretty girl that you upfront start noticing because she's the hardest one But she's such even the voice Yeah, no, then I'm out But then there's a joby one in the back and she's gonna incredible at first. You're like wow, you're ugly You know, she's eating wings. Yeah, she's got the mustache illuminating Yeah, I can't no, but he starts laughing. She adds a little tags. She starts a little bit of blue cheese in the corner No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's burping and she's smell and she starts smelling better and better because the pharaoh When you start liking her as a person she's not You go for that girl. Yeah, I mean honestly. It's whatever floats my boat. You know, if I'm feeling it for sure Like if whatever the physical I've whatever the physical attraction. I've banged girls so ugly But there are such fun people to be around That are and then you bang and you keep looking up. You're like don't look down. Just hear the riffs And then you're like, dude, I was banging this one broad maybe like This is like three and three or four years ago, and I brought I don't mean that this was back for that sounds she's an angel But she was late 40s, but an angel And she's so ugly that it's like Like when I'm kissing her I can smell her pussy already because it's like it's bad But she was such a great hang I'm gonna throw up And then I'm banging her keep looking up she kept saying I can't believe this is happening only me I don't tell nobody and then yeah, you close that and then see I think that was a citizen m2 where I met her And then the blinds are incredible on the iPad And it's a full blackout you need a full blackout for this one But then in the morning when there's wow and you see her in the morning you're like wow, what did I do But but the but the attitude is what gets me Yeah, the way you make all that gives me anxiety the way you make me feel is what matters Hmm if I'm scared of you And you're like intimidating and you're trying to do this alpha chick like come on and get me you know like Oh, I don't like that. You don't feel that. I like a chick that pushes me around and tells me you want to I'm gonna suck your asshole to check it's like a do's in a quarter, you know what I mean Yeah, and they have attitude and they're fun and you feel relaxed. Yeah, and you don't feel but that makes you and then what makes you feel good and then it's really based on the The appearance. It's I feel good and then you feel like a prize. Yeah. What's wrong with that? That's a great. That's a perfect you feel pretty I've always been with I'm always the guy like please yeah, you're a dumb whore who got genetically lucky, but can I please get a piece of the bus But like but like a stewie hat Uh-huh. I'm with it. I like that. That's what that's how you that's that's what catch your mojo going. I know it's crazy So sometimes you see like a guy a hot guy with an ugly girl and you're like I know exactly what's happening. She's an amazing person He's the funniest person because if you see a hot chick with an ugly guy, it's money You see how that's what I mean, I kind of got that going on, but I did she was with me before the money I'm out. I've she's hot. Yeah, I'm about not fighting about my way. Yeah, Germans are like German shepherds suit their loyal German wives and German shepherds. They're super loyal. That's a good and they're practical They don't make emotional mistakes. You did a Latina girl She might be in Spain with the girlfriends and there's Drake at the venue. What's the fuck? Something your personal fears and your screwed Your screwed A German girl will look at Drake and be like, ah, you know in the longer like if I calculate Yeah, the money, you know, he's gonna make me you get the jet to Toronto bang me out and that's done But this guy here the next five years looking pretty good. They got a chain and a chain and a chain. She'll break it down. Sure But once he's done the money, you're gonna be in trouble. Yeah I mean, yeah, there's there was a long time in the relationship she made she had the I was I was like a proper loser. Oh, oh She's paying for every she was paying for everything. It's oh my god. She's a real loser, Ari She not cool guys like you're mean. She invested in the she let us the money to start the first studio Seed money is a really yeah, and G-Hard she gave us that's like hot when you're wife
Like go do your love. Yeah, it was very embarrassing dude. It was very a little fat friend guy Be your butt. Yeah, your friends. I ran back to him. I'm like I got it We burnt we blew through it at me. You're like honey. We had joe ideas on oh, yeah, we had joe ideas on it Where's where's the rest of my body? Yeah, we paid her back in full. Obviously once we took me a minute, but whatever Payment plan, you know, yeah, they strained out and you you're like dating now No, no, not yet. Not yet. Yeah, I just to be respectful He's at the Drake concert. Yeah, I mean you don't want to go to East Village tonight where there's a lot of hookers on that one corner Here's the stand. I mean you don't want to do that. That would be this respectful In the middle of a divorce who would want like an angel for like no conversation and all money You need a bar a couple bucks. Yeah, you do a live podcast and you hang around near the door with a chick's walk out Who'd want that that's like this respectful to? Sure, yeah, you're gonna follow through. You don't want to do that. Two things right. Yeah, of course You want to show your patreon number the open-micro girl, so I want to get ahead in the business So your page your numbers to do an open-micro Do you want to show your patreon money to an open-micro that's looking for a leg up? I can get you on I can get you on You don't want to do that. That's disrespectful All right, I got I got one question. We got to wrap it up speaking. I mean I'm interrupted all of your songs. I'm so sorry. It's perfect All right, this is the fun show. Yeah, this is the funniest hour. I've had like four years. Um Do you carry a Venmo balance? Do you deserve to deserve cash in your Venmo right now? He's a Venmo do you know my my My ex-girlfriend set it up for me. I need to go through the website You get to go to see you're going to Venmo.com and login and oh actually I do have a wait. Let's see. Let's see. Venmo Let's see. This is a good question because more fucking into pay me U.S. Balance zero So you don't you're a paying balance Crypto, what the fuck? You got crypto? No, I don't know. Crypto balance is zero true. Yeah, this is bad Jammed up kid. You know what to do? He's back to draw some checks. Obviously the lady goes What are you doing because I just have money and the checking? I have random things I don't even know the card doesn't work. I'm bad with checks man. They usually was dead void it. I know. Yeah That is uh That is a new When you get they you can go and sit down at the desk any time I ever had to sit down at the desk in the bank It was bad. It was not bad. Yeah, it was like we got to talk about this. We're closing your account Whatever whatever you're overdrafted. You're not carrying a balance. They usually want a conversation now It's more of like do you know how we can help you mr. I really yeah, yeah, oh well. I got a Mickey Mouse card They know Fucking scumbag. I got a Mickey Mouse card. I didn't know I signed up for the child's program So my limit is like 500 bucks deposit. I can't even put more you can't put more the time because it's a child's like thing I didn't know I didn't see they just let me I saw Mickey Mouse when I was registering as soon as I see Mickey Mouse I mean maybe you are a child. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, so I'm like Mickey Mickey Mickey and I when I called the line like some There's a problem when I called the line. It's Mickey Mouse team song because they speak to your parents Mickey Mouse Lisa. It is yeah, it's a Mickey Mouse visa and then when they find out that what I want to do with the money that I was like Wait, wait. It's up to your parents and then they go like you want the credit card or the sapphire you want that, you know I say I'll be there tomorrow sure Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I started up one of the funniest Appreciate you coming. What are you coming up? Oh hit them with the dates. It's rm at t.com a r i m a tt I dot com. I'm doing some a few theaters in august. Yeah, yeah, we're trying yeah things are looking Yo, I see blue dots in my dreams. Do you ever see like the empty seats? ah The blue that fever the blue that fever. Yeah, yeah, blue dot Monday. Let me tell you. It's On my mental house. Yeah, I don't get you never check the number. It's about to be over for all of us isn't it? I can feel it coming. Don't you feel it coming? I'm starting so many new kids. Cam is with Eddie Murphy Cam Patterson is on Eddie Murphy now. He's the new Eddie Murphy blah blah blah blah blah. This guy this guy. He's crowd Working Jeff or Kuri. He's selling out the next thing. Uh-huh Madison Square Garden every night is Matt rife. I'm every arena's Matt rife I think we're done guys. I think we're doing like a dying thing. There's already Maddie with the $500 Disney Mickey Mouse card Yeah, I'm gonna be a doctor grins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what are you coming up? You just said he plugged it. I don't know like the numbers But I know it's in dialysis one. Okay. It's one is near Detroit. Okay. That's where I'm at in my career I mean that's like I'm not in Michigan. That's all right. No So come check me out. Yeah, check him out. Are you guys? Give you what he got for him guys. We only have Denver comedy works. Those tickets are almost sold out Are about to be sold out so get them and they'll definitely gonna sell it so get them while they last go He works one of the best. I got a headache. I was so hard. That was fucking funny guys. We love you so much All right, we love you buddy. I'm happy about your divorce. Let's go. We'll see you next week. Yeah, let's yeah, let's not meet open bikers
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The podcast hosts discuss cultural observations, including German strictness, Polish and Estonian lifestyles, and travel experiences across Europe and the U.S.
A recurring theme is the contrast between personal chaos and societal norms—such as messy living, divorce realities, and awkward social interactions—highlighted through humor and personal anecdotes.
The hosts promote products like Warby Parker (for glasses) and Rocket Money (for financial management), emphasizing ease, affordability, and control over daily expenses.
Summary:
S. They highlight the quirks of European social norms—such as German rigidity, Polish construction culture, and Estonia’s long summer days—while contrasting them with American casualness and financial habits. Personal anecdotes explore messy living, divorce experiences, and awkward social moments, such as a near-dating incident in New York involving a shy elevator encounter.
The hosts also promote consumer products: Warby Parker for making glasses easy and affordable, and Rocket Money for tracking subscriptions and managing finances. The tone remains playful and self-deprecating, with a focus on relatable struggles like anxiety, poor hygiene, and social missteps. These personal stories blend into broader cultural commentary, illustrating how lifestyle, habits, and expectations vary globally.
Ultimately, the episode serves as both a comedic reflection on everyday life and a light-hearted guide to practical tools that help navigate modern adult challenges.
FAQs
Are You Garbage is offering a limited Fourth of July drop, including special t-shirts for fans to wear to barbecues and celebrate the holiday.
The merchandise is available at areyougarbage.com while supplies last.
The host shares humorous anecdotes about German strictness, including rules around pets, dogs, and social interactions, noting they can be overly formal and rule-bound.
The host praises Warby Parker for simplifying the process of getting glasses with in-store eye exams and affordable, high-quality prescription lenses.
The host uses Rocket Money to track subscriptions, identify and cancel unwanted ones, and monitor spending, helping with financial awareness and savings.
The host enjoys making coffee at home using a French press, emphasizing the ritual and time it takes to properly brew a cup of coffee.
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