Ari Emanuel | Club Random with Bill Maher

Well, I've been doing this a long time, and the technology never really changed. It was always paper, panic, and a producer who reads fast. Then Claude showed up, and now I have to admit, the machines are pretty useful, which is a terrible thing to have to say out loud. Claude is the AI for problem solvers. It's the collaborator that understands your entire workflow and thinks with you, not for you. Whether you're debugging code at midnight, building a financial model, or strategizing your next business move, Claude extends your thinking to tackle the problems that matter. For problems worth solving, get started with Claude at claude.ai slash random. That's claude.ai slash random. And check out Claude Pro, which includes access to all of the features mentioned in today's episode. Claude.ai slash random. I don't know about you, but I'm a big fan of green in all its forms. Get it? And for fellow lovers of, well, green, the Club Random merch store has you covered. Grinders, papers, and Zippo lighters, all designed to support your relationship with green, wink, wink, whatever, and whatever philosophy comes with that for you. Head to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. His own agent just talked to him on Monday. Listen, this is your shtick with him. On Monday. I know, but it's his own agent. There's a way to talk to Donald Trump. You know, I don't like the war. Tell him. You can tell him. You can tell him, and I will. And is the author here? I'm here. I signed that book for you. I read that book. Hello. Hey, buddy. Boy, do I have a lot to talk about. Oh, boy. No. No, well, first of all, before I get too stoned, and forget why we're here, which is to plug you, because you're an author, you know, we have a lot of riff-raff on the show here, Ari. We have, like, actors and fucking agents, shit like that. But a real author? That's a special day for me. Thank you very much. But first of all, the cover, it is the most badass picture. I thought I had a badass picture from when I was a pot dealer in college holding up my pot. This is a. See, you know where that was? It's 25 years ago. Mark's doing Letterman. At Ed Sullivan. Who is? Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg. Mark. Four. We don't know all who you are. I know who your clients are. Which you never get on this show, by the way. Thanks for that. Go ahead. Okay, man. They're laughing outside. Well, we may return to that. We'll come to that subject matter again. So he's doing that, he was doing that movie Rockstar with. Yeah, I remember. Jennifer Aniston, right? I liked it. It was cute. It was right around. It was, I think, nine hours ago. Nine hours ago. It was right at 9-11. It was the weekend before. He did it on Thursday. A guy takes that photo. Never saw the photo. All of a sudden, it popped up. I love the photo. Oh. My wife sees that photo. The publisher does the whole print of it. My wife doesn't like it. Stod, who's my wife, you know. She says. Sarah. Well, everybody calls her Stod. That's terrible. She's a lady. Call her by her name. She likes it. I know. Your first wife, your first wife was also called Sarah. You have a type. At least on a name. You're so cheap, you didn't want to change the towels. So she then does that with this guy, Rodrigo, who is like a genius at book covers. He's up in Central. That is a genius book cover. And he did a great job with my wife, Sarah. It also reminds me that the people, maybe they were misled by the picture on the cover, they all are missing the point, as the media always does. Yes, you talk about rage. It's not really a book about rage. I mean, you have your anger spilling over. That's just you. It's also really funny. I mean, your ghostwriter did a great job. This guy, JR? I was kidding. It sounds like you. It really does. I don't know how much he contributed, but, I mean, it's so you. Yeah. We spent 10 years doing it. Okay. Well, it's really funny. And, but, yeah, it's not about rage. It's about honesty. You know, it's a guy who just does not have two fucks left to give. I mean, you did it all, from the mailroom to the boardroom, and now, you know, when you're mad at somebody, it's just honest. You just, you. I hope, here's what I, from you, which is actually important. I hope you laughed a lot. I was shaking with laughter sometimes. Really, because it just, sometimes you caught in the act of being yourself. Sometimes a brilliant phrase, a line, this funny, funny line where your first wife is pregnant with your first kid, but you've, you know, has always taken on too much to chew, and you're like, but now people are depending on me, depending on me. People in the office, people in Sarah. Did you write that line, or did the. He did. J.R. did. That's why, well, you were smart to hire him. You know, did you ever read Shoe Dog, the Phil Knight book? No, what's that? He wrote this great book about Phil Knight, incredible, and then I read the one he did on Andre Agnew, Oh, the Nike guy? Yeah. He did the Andre Agnew book, which is, I think, his greatest book, and then he wrote Tender Bar, which is his story about him and his family, and once I read those, I was like, this is my guy, and I met him 2016, the day Trump gets elected, and he says yes. But I must tell you, like the first 300 pages of this book, I'm thinking to myself, wow, if I had known all this about. Never. this fucking maniac, I would have never signed with him. Are you kidding? And the last 100 pages, I'm like, jeez, I hope he's still a maniac, because he sounds like he's kind of mellow now, and I thought I hired an animal. Why do you think that I'm mellowed? You say it in the book. No, here's what it is. Ari, as a client, it was a little nerve-wracking hearing, like, do I still have it in me? It's in the book. I know. And, like, I don't know how much longer I want to do this. Why didn't you tell me that before I signed up? But listen, here's what it is. I realized the following, and Sarah Stodd, however the fuck you want to call her, right? She said to me, and another person said to me, he goes, when you're on the field working, with any of the businesses that I do, you've got to be on the field. When you're off the field and we decide to go on vacation, not that you can't work, but you've got to give yourself some time. That's kind of what I was referring to. I never did that before. I was always on the field. I never was on the field playing chess about every class. Oh, yeah. It was insane. The amount of suffering you did, it was shocking. It was one of the many things I learned that I didn't know what was going on. When I, before I was with you, I knew you and friendly and, you know, always trying to get me to sign. But I had no idea you were doing as bad as you were doing sometimes. I thought you were always like a mogul. And then I read, like, oh, we're, you know, I'm a middle seat on the flight to Hawaii. And, you know, like your office smelled like hamburgers. Because, you know, but, uh. Well, you remember, we didn't have anything. There was, there was four agencies. CAA, ICM, William Morris, UTA. And then we started. And ICM, when we left, we were four little guys. They blew it up on the New York Times. All of a sudden, we became an agency. And we had no money. Nothing. To buy the tickets, the Jeffrey Kasper story, to $500,000, to buy those basketball tickets were like, they were like the billboard on Sunset Boulevard. You had the Laker ticket. Yeah. See, this is, you're a genius here. Because, again, I thought you were this big mogul because you had the Laker seats. Yes. It was brilliant. Because that picture says everything. But really, what I find out is behind the scenes, you're like, you know, scraping. We're rubbing nickels. And also killing yourself to get it done. Yes. So, so that guy, is that, I mean, part of what I do love about the book is that it is a love letter to the job of agenting, which, of course, gets a bad reputation. I mean, I could tell you many, I'm sure you know all the agent jokes. You know, the agent, the guy who. Here's my, here's my belief. I was, Rick Rosen was really the guy with Conan O'Brien. This is, in my opinion, one of the great agent stories. Jeff Zucker makes a mistake. He thinks he makes a mistake with the Jay Leno. Jay didn't have an agent. He had a lawyer. I, I. And, and Rick Rosen and me, we do our job for our client. And Jay was out. I, I've told this story from my view, which is the same view and I, what I've said is. And that's called, that's called being an agent and, and he, and Conan's incredibly talented. When I, when I have counseled people who ask me about the business, young people, you know, they want to be mentored very often. Yeah, yeah. And they listen. They listen a lot. At least until they stop being a stripper. No, I'm kidding. Anyway, so, like, one of the things I tell them is, you absolutely have to have someone talking for you. Whoever it is. It can be your Aunt Mildred. It just can't be you. So, agent, manager, and I said, Jay Leno's problem was he didn't have an agent. And no, they fired him for the crime of being number one because what NBC had in lieu of Jay's agent talking to them was this snake named Ari Emanuel who was in the ear saying, don't you want to look to the future? Jay's getting old. He's only number one. "For how much longer? Don't you want to get a haircut?" head of it and that worked i mean that was one of your i thought big successes although i thought it was really stupid on the part of nbc i mean they fucked up the whole thing well i i we can go through the history of now it's not yeah but that's what our job is to yeah well is to package put things together make sure people get along and try and navigate that that situation there is a there is a no again agent joke sharks yes but there is a type my manager mark ervitz is this type i'm pretty sure you're this type they just really want to be somebody's protector okay so every january i watch people announce the 10 pounds they intend to lose they buy the skinny jeans and download the new health app and by february that app is tucked in a folder called health that nobody opens you willpower versus your metabolism after 50 is not a fair fight that's where weight loss by hymns comes in with access to fda approved glp-1 medications including the wagovi pill 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brother on this show i had your other brother now i'm plugging your book am i your agent or are you mine i mean really i appreciate you really you're doing a great job you're an unbelievable protector okay but it is you have this uh instinct call it i don't think you care about this but famous and you know you don't want to be the star you always want to do and yeah and i think you you talk it's very charming like you say they're the bumblebees they spread the the agents you know you need somebody to put those things together and to spread the whatever even even with all the bullshit i think representing people that are incredible artists there is a business aspect that is an art form right and if you do it well it is if you do it well and you have taste you can be very so are you still that it's oh my god yeah okay i mean today today was aaron sorkin i mean his his movie that's coming out on facebook it's pete berg's movie that he's got coming off mosquito bowl any other clients on your list today well you're asking me but today was those were two movies coming out that was working on it and it was sure i mean i can't bust your balls too much i came i have a job yeah i've had it for a long time you know and i'm not looking for another one we're looking for one more we're looking for voiceovers and animation oh you didn't you didn't forget actually i actually sent mr gervitz last week a whole thing about it would i not people would i not be great as a bad guy villain yes i mean i would be but they probably won't do it because of politics i think you're wrong i think they're gonna do it great that's what i love about you your optimism i mean you do you do have this love affair with the business starting at the by the way we have some things in common like i also was a delivery boy before gps with a map did you have the dark did you have the thomas guy cursing people for not putting a clear number on their house how about this how about there's no street light sometimes that's what i'm saying it was the very dark this was i was the delivery boy for westwood corners uh liquor and drug when you were doing stand-up when i was 16 when i was in high school yeah i don't think you're even supposed to do that have a 16 year old deliver look definitely you're definitely not the only job is 16 i'm gonna mow the lawn or i'm gonna take the snow and i'm gonna shovel from seven to nine every weeknight i would go there and i would you know the liquor store make tell me please tell me please tell me i made more than two dollars an hour so at the end of the week i think i made more than you yeah okay you're i made 50 i made a base of 200 in the mail room plus 15 cents a mile well i mean look uh we all like money and you know you you had some line in there about there are times when the only thing in my eyes was you know you had some line in there about there are times when the only thing in my eyes was visine and dollar signs yeah visine and dollar signs yeah visine and dollar signs yeah but i also saw you do things but i also saw you do things but i also saw you do things just think about this book it made me just think about this book it made me just think about this book it made me think you're think you're think you're even more of an animal than i thought you even more of an animal than i thought you even more of an animal than i thought you were but also more of a human were but also more of a human were but also more of a human because you like there are moments like because you like there are moments like because you like there are moments like where you do where you do where you do i think it's because we have the same kind i think it's because we have the same kind of parents of parents of parents brought up by liberal parents yeah you brought up by liberal parents yeah you brought up by liberal parents yeah you know punching know punching know punching never punching down no you you fight never punching down no you you fight never punching down no you you fight with a lot of people but it's always with a lot of people but it's always with a lot of people but it's always punching up punching up punching up and when kanye was anti-semitic and when kanye was anti-semitic and when kanye was anti-semitic you know there was money on the table you know there was money on the table you know there was money on the table with bell gibson who's a client and uh with bell gibson who's a client and uh with bell gibson who's a client and uh kashogi yeah so the the kashogi yeah so the the kashogi yeah so the the journalist in saudi arabia with his journalist in saudi arabia with his journalist in saudi arabia with his head cut off head cut off head cut off so you stood up for the jews you stood so you stood up for the jews you stood so you stood up for the jews you stood up for an hour up for an hour up for an hour no i gotta give you you know props for no i gotta give you you know props for no i gotta give you you know props for that for you know you you you the that for you know you you you the that for you know you you you the there's a human in there we're still there's a human in there we're still there's a human in there we're still looking somewhere we're still trying to looking somewhere we're still trying to looking somewhere we're still trying to find that on occasion we're looking find that on occasion we're looking find that on occasion we're looking uh but also a crazy person yeah i mean uh but also a crazy person yeah i mean uh but also a crazy person yeah i mean like like like wow i mean some of the tirades and the wow i mean some of the tirades and the wow i mean some of the tirades and the which ones which ones which ones well i mean again nothing everybody well i mean again nothing everybody well i mean again nothing everybody doesn't do you just do it openly doesn't do you just do it openly doesn't do you just do it openly when i walk in the room you know it's when i walk in the room you know it's when i walk in the room you know it's you know where i stand yeah and you're you know where i stand yeah and you're you know where i stand yeah and you're not afraid to tell somebody go yourself not afraid to tell somebody go yourself not afraid to tell somebody go yourself i mean just as a hello like practically i mean just as a hello like practically i mean just as a hello like practically i mean i mean i mean you know you you you don't like to lose you know you you don't like to lose you know you you don't like to lose you know you know what you know you know what you know you know what you are the uh perfect example of uh you are the uh perfect example of uh you are the uh perfect example of uh you know if you i'm sure you've read a you know if you i'm sure you've read a you know if you i'm sure you've read a million scripts and you had to like i million scripts and you had to like i million scripts and you had to like i took a script writing course once and took a script writing course once and took a script writing course once and uh like uh like uh like here's the main thing i took from it the here's the main thing i took from it the here's the main thing i took from it the character needs character needs character needs a desire a desire a desire and a need and a need and a need they're different yeah when they come they're different yeah when they come they're different yeah when they come together at the end that's like if it together at the end that's like if it together at the end that's like if it comes together it's perfect like rocky comes together it's perfect like rocky comes together it's perfect like rocky his desire is to win the fight his desire is to win the fight his desire is to win the fight his need is to be loved and be able to his need is to be loved and be able to his need is to be loved and be able to even if he doesn't win the fight so he even if he doesn't win the fight so he even if he doesn't win the fight so he at the end he loses the fight at the end he loses the fight at the end he loses the fight but gets but gets but gets adrian adrian adrian spoiler alert for those who haven't spoiler alert for those who haven't spoiler alert for those who haven't caught up if you haven't seen i am rocky caught up if you haven't seen i am rocky caught up if you haven't seen i am rocky here's what happened 1976 yeah here's what happened 1976 yeah here's what happened 1976 yeah for the need the need is for the need the need is for the need the need is listen i had incredible parents like listen i had incredible parents like listen i had incredible parents like you had no parents you had no parents you had no parents um they taught me so many great things um they taught me so many great things um they taught me so many great things just by their actions just by their actions just by their actions but there was zeke the smart one rom the but there was zeke the smart one rom the but there was zeke the smart one rom the artist and then there was artist and then there was artist and then there was you're the third one and it was a you're the third one and it was a you're the third one and it was a desire to get an identity and this desire to get an identity and this desire to get an identity and this is business that we have entered is business that we have entered is business that we have entered had all the makings for me to get an had all the makings for me to get an had all the makings for me to get an identity and i would have identity and i would have identity and i would have as i said the pete bird i didn't have as i said the pete bird i didn't have as i said the pete bird i didn't have plan b i only had plan a plan b i only had plan a plan b i only had plan a i was going to do anything to make plan i was going to do anything to make plan i was going to do anything to make plan a work and i would have gone as in the a work and i would have gone as in the a work and i would have gone as in the book book book to sickness to get the planet yeah but to sickness to get the planet yeah but to sickness to get the planet yeah but what makes the book interesting to me what makes the book interesting to me what makes the book interesting to me besides the stories and stuff but some besides the stories and stuff but some besides the stories and stuff but some of that is because i'm in this world so of that is because i'm in this world so of that is because i'm in this world so i know these people it is but it would i know these people it is but it would i know these people it is but it would be interesting to anybody be interesting to anybody be interesting to anybody um but the fact that you have this um but the fact that you have this um but the fact that you have this this burning desire and yet over and this burning desire and yet over and this burning desire and yet over and over again there's some line over again there's some line over again there's some line on the order of you know but the high on the order of you know but the high on the order of you know but the high never really lasts never really lasts never really lasts um don't you think that business is um don't you think that business is um don't you think that business is always always always interrupting what i'm quoting you oh i'm interrupting what i'm quoting you oh i'm interrupting what i'm quoting you oh i'm sorry what an sorry what an sorry what an because it's a great line it's about because it's a great line it's about because it's a great line it's about like uh it but this it's another some like uh it but this it's another some like uh it but this it's another some merger you pulled over so merger you pulled over so merger you pulled over so but it didn't hit the spot wherever the but it didn't hit the spot wherever the but it didn't hit the spot wherever the spot is it remains untouched you know i spot is it remains untouched you know i spot is it remains untouched you know i just thought that is a certain type i'm just thought that is a certain type i'm just thought that is a certain type i'm somewhat that type somewhat that type somewhat that type but you have that to an extraordinary but you have that to an extraordinary but you have that to an extraordinary degree like degree like degree like why how come every time i achieve this why how come every time i achieve this why how come every time i achieve this thing that i so desperately wanted i thing that i so desperately wanted i thing that i so desperately wanted i find out it didn't make me happy find out it didn't make me happy find out it didn't make me happy that's an interesting character but that's an interesting character but that's an interesting character but that's and that's desire versus need that's and that's desire versus need that's and that's desire versus need yeah yeah yeah and you know something i'm i'm trying to and you know something i'm i'm trying to and you know something i'm i'm trying to get better at it i don't look in the get better at it i don't look in the get better at it i don't look in the rear view mirror i don't know if that's rear view mirror i don't know if that's rear view mirror i don't know if that's my upbringing or this need to constantly my upbringing or this need to constantly my upbringing or this need to constantly prove myself you're obsessed with prove myself you're obsessed with prove myself you're obsessed with digestion digestion digestion you eat worms right here for you i you eat worms right here for you i you eat worms right here for you i brought them for you oh brought them for you oh brought them for you oh please i did i brought them for you please i did i brought them for you please i did i brought them for you what form do they you're not talking what form do they you're not talking what form do they you're not talking about like just like a bird or a fish about like just like a bird or a fish about like just like a bird or a fish i'm gonna show you don't eat it now no i'm gonna show you don't eat it now no i'm gonna show you don't eat it now no i'm not gonna do it now i'm giving them I wouldn't have done mine in the morning. Are they made into pills? No, it's a liquid form. Oh, it's a liquid. It's Microsoft, and you just swallow it. I see. Okay. That's less gross than I thought. Okay, great. So anyway, you're obsessed with digestion, and your whole life you have made yourself miserable up until recently because you constantly eat something you cannot digest. You couldn't, William Morris, you wanted it, you ate it, you swallowed, but then it made, because you, oh my God, if we don't get bigger, we're going to die, and you're going through it, and then it was IMG or AAMG, whatever this fucking alphabet soup of things, and I've got to go public, I've got to get wrestling, and every time you do, you're driving yourself almost to death, like no sleep, and flights you don't want to be on, working through pain, like you're on the phone with Obama, and you've got a needle in your back. I mean, just like crazy shit. Yes. But you, because you're not digesting, because you ate this thing. Because I'm having the worst. But then you, then you can't, you have to, and, but then, but you eventually did find a way to digest them all, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. You know, folks, half of modern work isn't work. It's 60 browser tabs, a wall of sticky notes, and remembering where you put things. That's not a career. That's a scavenger hunt with health insurance. Now our team hands that to Claude. Let's it run in the cloud and does the actual job. Built by Anthropic, Claude features powerful tools like deep research. Instead of surface-level search snippets, it analyzes dozens of sources at once, delivering thorough, fully-sighted reports in minutes. The club Random Team used it to build custom internal trackers on the spot just by describing what we needed. Zero coding required. It makes you realize how much time you are wasting doing things the hard way. For problems worth solving, get started with Claude at claude.ai/random. That's cloud.ai/random. cloud.ai/random. But along the way, it was a messy soup. I can't believe you think it was worth it. I mean. Definitely worth it. Really? You know. You describe a lot of misery. It was a lot of craziness, and it came out at the end a beautiful story. Even though, at the time, I didn't believe it was going to be, because it was, you know, it's all over the place, physically, emotionally, but it turned out okay. Well, it turned out great. I mean, you know, obviously, yeah. I mean. But during it, it was hell. I mean. Well, how about the flight to China? And he didn't book the lunch. That really. Of all the things. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. That really. That really. endeavor he then said nope i don't i even though we then announced it we all agreed to it okay guess what i'm not even arguing with what you are talk what you do i'm on the same page people kind of have to earn their wings not every day if someone has been your friend for a long time you give them a lot more rope than someone who you know if someone's late the first time you're supposed to meet them okay you're dead right you're gone like the first time this is somebody you've met yeah yeah but if it's somebody you've known for 10 years and you'll give them a pass even though we hate both of us hate waiting yes we also both don't like you don't say goodbye no i don't say hello yeah like when i i was like unless i haven't seen someone in a long time but like at the office like i saw you yesterday why am i saying hello again like what happened in the last 14 hours of your life and mine i agree with that yeah i know but uh no i i think the idea and you you talk about it eloquently i thought this thing about happiness is not breakups break offs as you know thing not everybody stays the same and you don't have to feel bad about um refreshing the friendship you know all these things whether it be a marriage whether it be a friendship you you have to be a participant you can't be an absentee person in in any of them you have to and if you don't want to be okay i'm good i'm good going i i'm i'm comfortable that way so look five minutes of the news these days and you can feel your blood pressure climbing that's not an accident that's the business model you can't fix any of it but you can't keep an eye on your own numbers so head into the holidays already doing something good for yourself and try 120 life a once a day functional drink with ingredients that support healthy blood pressure it's simple drink it check your numbers see if it's working if your numbers don't improve you get your money back no hoops no awkward emails no fine print it tastes great it's a blend of super fruit juices and the powdered version has one gram of sugar smart if you're watching blood sugar too and listen this deal is only happening this week so don't wait go to 120 life.com that's 120 life.com and use code random 25 for 25 off or even easier text random 25 to 511 511 try it risk-free for two weeks if your blood pressure doesn't come down you get a full refund that's 120 life.com code random 25 or text random 25 to 511 511 before this 25 off deal ends at the end of the week these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease message and data rates may apply it was quite eye-opening aria i must say to find out from your book that like for years like i knew you for years you would call me quite often when are you going to leave that dumb agent of yours you would you were like trump you unnecessarily insulted him he's a great guy and i'm not going to lie to you i'm not going to lie to you i'm not going to lie uh but just you're trying to get me to sign and i have to find out you do that with everybody that's how you did it with your both your wives you are just you cut you just don't stop yeah you're like yoko wait yoko yeah i i did this well listen i did i a few years ago the new york times asked me to do a book review for this book about the beatles i guess it's known i'm a the beatles i could have lived with a hundred but okay so it put some light on details or instances i thought i knew about that with new details that was a good part of it and one of them was that i did not realize that yoko you know it wasn't like a chance meeting with john lennon really yeah she what according to this book she used to jump into the car like he would follow him play she wrote him a letter every day and got it to indy uh when they were in india you know she she love bombed him her way she she wanted to get her a beetle first she wanted paul oh and first linda wanted john you know when you want a beetle we don't care which one we can't always board everyone's first choice just eat the chicken oh so so the fact that she was just so he's very funny time how persistent she was you know and i'm i don't think oh yoko's the dragon lady i like yoko but you know i think she she she wanted a beetle she wanted that guy and and uh and she was just what he needed at that time she kind of knew how she was older than him by low she wasn't a kid she knew how to you know inscrutable asian ways of getting something no but uh but she wrote a letter every day every day when they were in india like kind of i i'm not sure how she made sure it was delivered i don't know maybe some connection in the east that's incredible i know but that's you are you you're just like i'm relentless you like and i'm relentless i was laughing out loud when you talk when you were talking about how uh stod no i'm sorry she's too much of a lady sarah sarah the second um when you when you were trying to get with her and you're very desperate it's very funny uh either you or the guy wrote a funny line about your guy calls you up and says i want you to meet someone who a woman i like her already it's true i said that you said that see there you got one for yourself okay it's funny so and of course she googles you uh sees that you're 55 or something she's 28 and she's she's you know i i know sarah quite well now she's awesome but yeah she's like she thought william morris was a cigarette company no i swear to you swear to you that she thought it was a cigarette company to be fair at the time it was and a halloween store yeah uh but i know i didn't stop no i mean she's and and she was a girl who knew what she wanted i mean it would make actually a good movie because you know movies rom-coms have to depend on i mean you got 90 minutes to fill going from one place to another like you can't like each other at first you have to hate each other at first she didn't exactly hate you no she was indifferent she was just yeah you're too old like you were not in the pool of men who are able to court me yeah and this was just not gonna fly well i don't think she knew what she was up against i know but when you wrote so it made me go into signing mode i was like wait a second i did i did see what happened to me i went i see what happened to me now yeah all those years i said no no no no no no no no no and next thing you know we're being married by larry david and where were you married somewhere in central back central that's where excuse me so we had the second date she says she's going there for the summer because her father has a place there i said i'm going to be in europe i'm going to come take you to dinner and cut to she goes no i said i'm going to show up you'll either and i'm going to text you that and then she shows up and and this is after she said no to you a million million times yeah so i had a fly to san trope yeah i mean i mean why were you so sprung on this without knowing it that well well the minute you see her you realize how beautiful she is she's she's a beautiful physically beautiful woman and and emotionally she is well put together you're right for each other she wouldn't be right for me um but is there a woman right for you oh yeah you know i love her yeah okay so um and i'm set and they're what they what those two have in common is they are the two very confident self-assured yeah so self-assured and not afraid of her and she's a beautiful woman and she's a beautiful woman and she's a beautiful woman or not yeah so that's they got their shit together confidence and so there's no uh and you can't rattle them and and you don't want to no no you cannot rattle them and exactly scared to rattle them or try to i am not scared she is as and i've seen it in her business she is as tough as it comes yeah that's not my time yeah i'm saying that's for you because you want to challenge all the time and you're going to take over this and you're going to take over that and what three letters are left that i haven't taken over b i want all the alphabets that's it all right take over bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches are they buyable oh god yeah so are you done buying things why don't you no probably not what what is this latest one you got so there's the niederlanders - Then you know, the theater people? - And then there's the Schuberts. - Of course. I'm at Broadway now. And then there's this company called ATG. ATG? Yeah. Sounds like a government agency. Well, they're the largest footprint in the theater space in New York, London, and all over the world. Oh, they're bigger than the Nederlanders? Yeah, yeah. What a shame. Yeah. The Schubert's in there. I got to be able to, I got to open the mouth, but I got to swallow them. You're doing it again. You know how many fucking worms you're going to have to eat? Well, I guess now it's easier because you got all this money behind you. Like before, it was like, you know, you were just on a limb. But, jeez, the Nederlanders, you know, I did a, I got a Tony nomination. Part of my anti-EGOT, I've lost all the awards. I mean, I was nominated for a Grammy, spoken word, you know, all of them. But Broadway. When I was there in 2003, Nederlander, Schubert, those were the names. And they had been for a hundred years, right? Right. And now, now fucking you come in with your, oh, Jesus. Why do you say it in that way? No, you're right. I mean, change happens. Yeah. You know, this is, again, you're either a new friend or a dead friend. That's not true. No? No. No. With most of the people, something transpired. No. And I take a lot of responsibility for some of them. You know what? As I said before, when I flip a coin on you, it does always come down on the side of your parents. You had the same kind of parents I had. Punching up, not down, that kind of thing. Yeah. So, folks, let's talk about Medicare for a second. I know, nothing gets a room going like Medicare. But seriously, are you or a loved one still on the same Medicare plan you signed up for years ago? Well, know this. Plans can change every year. And most people never look again after they sign up. It's like a software update. Something changed. Nobody knows what. And we all agree just to hit agree. But being on the wrong plan can mean doctors and prescriptions you thought were covered. Aren't. Luckily, there's a smarter way called chapter. No more guessing whether your plan still fits. No more wondering if you're overpaying. They'll compare every Medicare plan nationwide for free in about 20 minutes. People have switched saved on average eleven hundred dollars on health care costs. The plan you never check is the one that ends up costing you. Click the link below to get started or call chapter at nine eight four two one seven. Click the link below to get started or call chapter at nine eight four two one seven three six four three. That's nine eight four two one seven three six four three. So I do basically trust that when you make these changes, you know, it's like it's inevitable. Change is inevitable. And, you know, hopefully it's not just for revenge, although you do have a thirst for revenge often. I mean, this. I'm. I'm seeing. I remember something you were buying where you it was hundreds of jobs and maybe thousands and billions of dollars on the line. But you said to you, the most important thing was wiping that fucking smile of some guy's face and another guy who laughed at you. Yeah, you really don't like it when people laugh at those remarks. William Morris was like, it was very funny. You're like, Jim Wyatt. This guy was laughing. That big, important. Him. He's going to buy a little old me and then you bought them. Yeah. See, that's the thing. The people you hate. I know. I mean, I don't know Jeff Katzenberg. Well, you seem to hate him more than anybody. And many people do. But I don't know. Twice he's called me to have first lunch and dinner, I think, first. And then we had lunches like 15 years apart, maybe 20 years apart, but out of the blue and seemingly with no agenda, you know, a little. Hello. But I should get you coffee instead of tequila. But they tell me that, like, he has like three breakfasts every day. He just talks to a lot of people. So I was like, sure. I mean, Jeff Katzenberg, he's a legendary guy. And, you know, and but you fucking hate him. I mean, well, here's what happened. It's pretty simple. You know, those basketball tickets that we couldn't afford and they were like the billboard on Sunset Boulevard when we started made us look big. He went behind my back. We had a contract and he tried to take the tickets and I wasn't going to permit that. You wouldn't. You would never do that to somebody? No, definitely not. Because you do say at one point. I definitely would not. Something about like you. I think maybe you were leaving one agency or plot. You know, the one. The plot. OK. I need a talent. This is an endeavor. Yeah. But this is like a plot. No pun intended. That plays out constantly with agencies. A bunch of agents within the agency become a plotting nest to start their own agency. And you say like. And it gets to a point where you're thinking, um, are they going to, you know, abandon and stab me in the back or am I going to do it to them? So it's not. No, but that's different. You admit that it's in your mind. That's different. That was like where we're starting a business. We had these tickets. They became the hot tickets. We own the tickets. He goes behind my back, tries to say ups the price. We could barely afford them as they were fine. I got him back. He calls me. Then there was another incident with him buying. He did something that was bad. Then the last piece, as much as we can say, but no, no, no. I'm going to say the last, the last piece that put me over the top. My brother works for the Obamas. He's a chief of staff, right? Yeah. I know Joe Biden through my brother. He says, I can get you a meeting with Joe Biden, a million dollars. I said, do you think I need to give you a million dollars to, so you can tell Joe Biden that I gave you a million dollars to make me with Joe Biden. Okay. He goes, I have all the relationships with Joe Biden. Wait, then as. As you've said, and I said a year before Ruth Bader Biden, well, you know, we're all saying, okay. Yeah. And I'm calling him like, Hey dude, you say you got his ear, right? You're the man you're talking to him all the time. After that last day, I said, you got to get them out. Silence. Then the election's over. He loses. I wash my hands of politics. I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not in it anymore. I'm, I'm, I'm moving on. He gave us Karen Bass. He gave us this, and now he's just moved on when you sit there and you say, and most of the things he does is not about the situation. It's about Jeffrey and the situation he's first and foremost, that shit. I don't like, I do not like it. And he did try to fuck us over twice. Fuck you. I mean, I could give a fuck about all of this, but you asked me. But I know, but it's funny in the book. I mean, it's funny when you're, uh, there's that moment where you get back together with Sarah after, oh, by the way, here's a little something that caught my eye. You mean the breakup with Stott? Yes. Breakup. Okay. So you're very mad at certain point. No, no, I was. Wait, no, no, no. Let me finish my sentence. Yeah. You didn't hear my sentence. You were very mad, uh, that I guess it was William Morris sent Harvey. Weinstein of all people as their errand boy to tell you that they were going to buy you, right? Well, it was, wasn't he the messenger? We were like a month old. I think it was right. He calls up to the peninsula, shirt, food, everything upside down. And he goes, you're making $10 million. You're going worse. I've sold the company. You're going over. We've just started the company. You're going over to way more each one of us. You're going to make two and a half million. Why him? I don't know. Exactly. He's not part of William Morris. No, he was, he was at Miramax. So why him? I don't know. Okay. So you're mad that he is this errand boy out of left field. But then when you break up with her, you have your own therapist. Do it. That was a pussy. I was, that was the one time worse than the Harvey Weinstein horrible that she got back together with me. She's insane. I was so depressed. There's not the, why did you do it to begin with? Cause we didn't go public. I turned 60 COVID was going on. Everything just seemed like the whole world. My whole, everything. I just, I didn't know where I was. I really kind of was law that, that period in COVID I was lost. And then six months later, I realized, fuck this girl. I miss her. The liberals overdid COVID. They really did. And that's a good example of it. Look how much it, it was not necessary to be this fucked up about. There's a lot of things. It was a dangerous thing that could be, wouldn't it be for you with your earthworms? It sure wouldn't have been for you. So you should have never got COVID. You should have had, of course not because you fucking do cold plungers and earthworms. And what else do you do crazy shit that you do, right? You're up at 3:00 AM, like doing crazy shit. Yeah. I mean, I'm like barely turning the light off at 3:00 AM. Right. Okay. So you're going to, there was things that they did wrong. It had never, it was a novel. It was a, it was a first time virus. They didn't know what they were doing and there was a lot of mistakes made. How did that happen? However, do I did I did they need to close the beaches? No. OK, dude, I think that mass at the time what they knew they were doing the best that they could. OK, was there a lot of screw ups? But on the other side. They did get to a vaccine that I shouldn't say a a shot that you had to take on a quarterly or yearly basis. Jonathan Swan was on real time the week before and he was saying, like, Trump, who always is the luckiest motherfucker. The one thing that is so consistent about his life is good. He's lucky. It's great luck. Just the inside straight he pulled to win in 2016. Everything. And Jonathan Swan, and I think he's totally right, says, how lucky to have lost the 2020 election. You know, because. Yeah, all the shit hit the fan and he could blitz blame it on Biden and say, oh, look, we're things really that because most of his term wasn't with COVID. Yeah. You know, so. But I mean, by the way, speaking of the president who you talk to a lot. I talked to him on Monday. OK. And you say some things in the book that are almost word for word things I've said. I'm not saying you're stealing from me, although you'd be wise to. But just word for word. Words like I can't beef with half my friends and I don't want to hate half the country. That's almost exactly what I said in my last special. And, you know, talking is my religion. Keep talking. That's what my mom thought of me. It's so interesting to me that Larry David, like I'm the devil because I talked to him, but his own agent just talked to him on Monday. Listen, this is your stick with him. I know, but you must recognize the hypocrisy there. Somehow when it's his own agent doing the exact same thing, this is then we don't play the Hitler card. We don't play the Hitler card. Just admit that. It's true. Look at how we do health in this country. You turn 40, you go in for a checkup and before your pants are back on, there's a statin in your hand like it's a mint at the end of dinner. Nobody asks about your life or explains anything. They see one bad number and ship you to the pharmacy. And the pill usually only goes after your LDL. Your HDL, your triglycerides, nobody's looking. So you're taking a daily pill for a fraction of the problem, and you do it because you think that's the only option. Dose for Cholesterol is a clinically backed supplement made with plant powered ingredients shown to have positive impacts on cholesterol, blood work markers, HDL, LDL and triglycerides when taken twice daily. And for once, it's medicine that doesn't taste bad. The club random team is here to help you. The club random team is partial to the mango. It uses eight powerful ingredients to help maintain healthy cholesterol, including CoQ10, pomegranate, peel and turmeric. Ready to take control of your cholesterol? Head to dose daily dot co slash random or enter random to get 35 percent off your prescription. That's D.O.S.E.D.A.I.L.Y. dot co slash random for 35 percent off your first month subscription. It's a crazy hypocrisy. You should have this conversation with Larry. I would actually because you guys are so similar on so many things. So many things. I wish you guys. And that's what I hate about the purist left. Purity. It's the easiest thing to be. And by the way, you know you're not a political sophisticate when you immediately go to the Hitler card. That's just one way. There's a few others. But yes, purity. I just can't take it. I can't. More than anything, I can't take it. And you and I are on the same page. I'm having the conversation. And I'm having dinner with him again next week. I'm having a conversation with him about this about this rebate that I think needs to happen for California and for the country. And I think it's going to be a good thing. And he's on board with it. He called me about it first. And I said to somebody. And it's true. He's 80 years old. This guy. And I don't know if you felt it. He's a workaholic. He he's the guy works like. Well, in his way. Yeah. He's and a lot of that work. Is toward things we don't approve of. Let's go. Oh, no, no, no. OK. You know. And we'll tell him. And we'll tell him. You see, I'm when he. I told him. It's so weird. You know, after the first dinner, he was. I went back to doing what I do. And, you know, for people who. I don't want to scream. He's a low rating. Well, it never stops. He tried to stop me from getting the mark. He said, are you only call me because you're the president? I said, yes, that's true. You're the president. I got to get things done. But then, like, he just out of the blue, let's have dinner again. I was like, great. And he was like, really nice. Like, I promise I won't say bad things about you like I did the last time. And I texted back and I said, you know what? You're the president of the United States. Say whatever the fuck you want. I'm just glad we're talking. It's just that it's like being called a hockey puck by Don Rickles. It's just what he does. Hopefully, you can have this. Hopefully, you can have this much of the last conversation before a decision gets made. Correct. I agree. I guarantee you get nothing from not talking. If the odds are low from talking, they're still in the realm of possibility. But there are some people you won't talk to. Yes. There's some people I won't talk to. But they're not the president of the United States. Yeah, but there are people that you say to yourself, that's a bridge too far. It blows my mind that there are people in this world, and lots of them on the far left, who just would turn this opportunity down. a private dinner in the White House with the president, just a few people, say whatever you want. You know, I've heard people say, well, you know, I don't like the war. Tell him. You can tell him. You can tell him. And I will. I keep telling people he needs more people like us. I agree. Not less. You need to talk to him. I will. Yeah. And you do too. I talk to him. And I'm sure you do. And I'm sure he listens to you. And, you know, not if you like call up the phone, like you're talking like a Karen on the complaint department hotline. No. Hey, the thing you did. No. But like there's a way to talk to Donald Trump. There just is. Yes. And he's. And that's OK the way you have to talk. Well, I've heard people when I did the first one, I heard people say, well, you're humanizing him. OK, he's a human. I get it. He's a very flawed one, as we are all under Jesus. Can I ask you, when you say, I'm just thinking about this, when you say the far left, who are you referring to? Woke. Like what? I mean, what do you what do you. Are you saying is it is for you? Is DSA far left? Of course. Doesn't get any further left than that. Right. People who people. You got. Yeah. I don't think they're Democrats. No, they're not. Yeah. And Rahm makes the same point. Yeah. I think they want to. Also, DSA beats Democrats and Democrats want to beat Republicans. Gaza is a genocide, is a lie that they are making everybody say. If you if you if you don't know history, you don't know facts. I think it on my show. Do they do you think they know who came up with the word genocide? Whoever came up with any side. So genocide is created 1944 by a Jew that went through the Holocaust. And he came up with the word to kind of because there was no word for what it was. And then it was approved by the I think it was the U.N. and in Iraq. And it was a word for what happened to the Jews. There was, I think, four million Jews in Poland ended up forty four thousand. Three million. Yes. Three million. Yeah. That is a genocide. That is it. That's exactly. And I think they want the word genocide because it's such an evil word. They're trying to take a word that was for what happened to Jews and they wanted to put it on Israel. So that they're a bad country and people. So that it becomes a non-existent thing. It gives. If you believe someone is guilty of genocide, it gives you permission to hate them. Who wouldn't hate a genocidist? But. And I think you've done an amazing job laying out the facts. The facts. Yeah. I mean, three percent of the population. It's terrible. It's not a genocide. We can have the conversation. Yeah. About the situation. You can hate Israel. You can hate Jews. You can hate. Just don't change the meaning of the word because the word. That was created by a Jew. Tremendous power. Yeah. I mean, just go through what side always means. Fratricide. Kill your brother. Homicide. Kill yourself. Matricide. Kill your mother. Patricide. Your father. Genocide. A whole people. Right. And if they wanted to kill a whole people, they certainly have the means to do it. And most of the people who died were because they are an enemy, not like many other enemies, where they use their own people as shields. Well, I would say the following. You know, I think, you know, I think you think this, like, and I've said this. I gave a speech about Netanyahu. So my brother gave a speech. Oh, I saw that in the book. And my point of view is, guess what? I think we should free, you know, Gaza. It should be free of Hamas. From Hamas. Yes. When they say free Palestine. Who do you think is oppressing it, you morons? And my father was born in Palestine before we. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. You know, all of it was Palestine. And the U.N. made it. Palestine. When you said Palestine in that era, people thought you were talking about a Jew. Jew. And it was through. through through jordan and when the u.n decided to give this strip of land they said don't fight then they captured land who gives back if if if if if in ukraine they get a plot of land you can you know wherever you want the ukrainians to win a plot of land you think they're going to give it back in a war no but the israelis have to get it back they are consistently asked to do things nobody else is ever asked even to do like when you're in the middle of a war feed the enemy give them polio shots trunk i don't i don't remember uh any other enemy doing this you know you're in a war and i think what they're doing in the west bank net yahoo is disgusting it's disgusting what they're doing the west bank is terrible it's it's a terrible right and i said that it's bullying it's it's it's more than bullying yeah it's what happened to jews yeah in poland and we're doing it there yeah yeah it's disgusting i agree and so let's all get off this word because that was a word that jews created stop trying to label right and let's have the real conversation as you said let's have conversations that are from a place of and i'll have it with anybody yeah but the problem is how did el saeed come to your show is he you know he said he was going to but we have not been able to as he had get a yes like an actual i think that would be a great conversation oh i do too oh i can't wait to have that conversation because the truth is that when we talk about these issues it gets very nitty-gritty in the details and we kind of miss i'm sorry but the big picture which is forgetting the islam of it all i don't know if you're going to convince people who have a religious fervor behind their beliefs of ever really wanting to come to the table it is a doctrine in islam i mean many believe the whole world needs to become muslim but certainly any land that used to be muslim has to be reconquered spain many still refer to it as andalusia el andalusia because yes i'm talking about islamists because that's what it was when it was muslim for 700 years before it was i didn't know that oh really yeah i didn't well when the muslim army that swept out of the desert after muhammad's eth in the seventh century they conquered the whole world in a hundred years and you don't do that with pamphlets no yeah and they got as far as the pyrenees they went all through north africa then through spain and so spain was muslim from basically 700 to 1500. so you know there is a belief that that needs to become return returned and i think it's the same thing with places like the way i think we you and i agree on one thing religious extremists are bad yeah but it's not equal how many religious extremists there are in each religion and how extreme they are they are more extreme in islam and there are more of them that is just a fact there are absolutely extremist christians and extremist jews yeah but there's only 15 million jews in the whole world true we're talking about 1.6 1.8 billion people who live in societies that have rules of behavior and often law that are completely different from what we're used to when we're talking about 1.6 billion people who live in societies that have rules of behavior and often law that are completely incompatible with the west like women as equal citizens homosexuality sometimes being illegal you know in the jewish constitution homosexuality is cool not in hamas not in the gaza in the jewish constitution you know in in our in our in our religion you know yeah i mean the orthodox in your religion still don't let the women in the same part of the temple right that's true you have to separate you separate it out you have to separate you separate it at the wall no all religions have it yeah just but it's just it's just disingenuous to say well because they all have some of it it's equal it's not an equal problem yes there are really weird things that the jews do like until recently a rabbi sometimes bit the end off of a baby's dick and would give him the child herpes oh that i did what that's true we'll be right back after a word from cheerios so yeah yeah did you ever think this is where like 10 years ago for a podcasting was like everybody did you ever think this would be like as big as it is yeah you know i like to hear people here's what i'd say i i talk about in the books i read this book life after television by george gilder he talks about distribution it's going to expand and content's going to expand in the different forms of content it just went from so if this is just part of the continuum of where content has gone and you're now in you have these things called micro dramas you know these one-minute dramas that mainly for women you know and they're they devour it so so i think this is just part of it and how it's going to evolve with ai and everything else who the knows that's so that's still like very interesting to you like where the business is going and to stay ahead of it yeah because when you stay ahead of it you can make money at it yeah and then i have this whole thesis about live and this is like live i think live entertainment is the opposite bet of where ai is going right and i do also think the movie and television business is going to explode because costs are going to come down because of ai and the movie intelligence there's going to be more free time you know my son leo my my youngest he's 23 or 24 he works at polymarket he goes you know what they call thursday dad no what do they call thursday thursday no it's called baby friday and people now it's four day work weeks thursday night they're going out they're booking restaurants they're booking hotels or leaving town and he goes i bet you very soon dad wednesday's baby thursday really yeah and so you're just gonna have more and more time you're gonna consume more content content is going to be podcasts content's going to be books content's going to be movies television micro dramas live and you mentioned if we did this live oh if i did this people would go crazy but like with a good gas yeah people would go crazy why don't you book it that's one of the one of the things one of the things isn't that what you're supposed to know listen one of the things we're doing when we when we officially close atg there's a dark night on monday we have to wait for the no no it's sick it's six months old atg atg okay so they're dark on mondays they're dark mondays you know because right yeah and our whole thing is theaters are dark we're gonna on mondays we're going to book stand-ups podcasts etc because i agree with you i see yes you'll come in and you'll do it because i think people are going to want to see they they would love to see this live i did atg in college it just made me fall asleep but um okay okay a atg all the way but i think don't you think people are gonna in the theater business want to see a live podcast i do well it depends on the one but this one is not like other ones and you have to like hello get that word out there yeah hello really isn't i i spent a lot of money putting this together and so there's cameras all over the place and we never feel like there's anybody else here no that's just not the feel i get from any other podcast no every other they're right in your face it's just a talk show it's okay that i'm not putting them down i'm just saying would you do this if i only had someone to say would you do this live somebody who was like promoting me someone who cares you're going to do this live protecting me thinking about me would you do this live if it was the right uh person yes and uh it's i mean the right guess the right guest it's it's um it's a 50 50 for me because you think it would change with an audience exactly that's the whole reason why i love this is because it is just the most intimate it is what i've tried to do from the very beginning in my career how do i get the most real conversation that goes anywhere i mean somebody said on on our anniversary show he gets the green room conversation on the show yeah okay i'm glad i people think i want to go even further that's what this is this is further this is no different than if there was no cameras you're sitting at home i can't think of one thing i said to you or you said to me which is the definition i'm a great guest that we wouldn't have just said yeah because we did forget but like yes would that Of course, for the same reason why Margaret Mead said when she studied native tribes, like just the act of studying them changes their behavior. Right. You know. So the act of, if you had this and you had the audience, it would definitely change this. That I know for sure. Hopefully you would have a guest that would go for it. But could it retain 80%? I think it could. I think it could. You know, if the money was free, you would take the 80. You are talking to the last two guys in America who care about money. I love the liberals out here. Did you go to the George Lucas Museum opening? What? Oh, you had beef with him too? No, I just would never do that. Okay, why? I mean, of all the things to get the. I've never seen one Star Wars movie. I feel like. Have you seen a Star Wars movie? Be honest. Be honest. Officer, could I just please make my case? Yes, please. Because I feel bad about this. Because I think George Lucas is a great guy, and he may have said a nice thing about me once or twice. And unlike you, I have tried to watch Star Wars. And I just cannot. I don't get it. But I so, like, give respect to success. You know, there's lots of things that are massively successful. And let's just say it's my flaw. How about this? It looks amazing. It does? The museum? Oh, the museum, yes. The museum looks amazing. I know. It looks incredible. It does. It does. And I'm sure it is incredible. I just always think when they do something like that, and I think it costs like $2 billion, and it's every liberal in town. I'm like, aren't you the people that are always talking about how the poor people need more? But yet we have the money to build, like, this monument to how great an artist we are. I mean, I'm sure it's geniusly done. It looked incredible. But, like, what actual change and positive change in life is it going to bring? Yeah, maybe it inspires someone to be an artist. But people in show business are so full of themselves about how important art is. One of your greatest lines, I think you were going to the. Go on. Going to the Golden Globes, and they were wearing the pin. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's. That was going to change something. Well, it's like. I mean, it's like MAGA hats for liberals, you know? Yeah. But I just never. That's not my type of movie. No. And Marty Scorsese told me great stories about when he was writing it, George. It was incredible to hear. It's just not my type of movie, so I've never seen it. So, you know. I'm not sure I'd ever go to the museum. I don't know. I do want to go to the Geffen Museum, the new Geffen Museum. He's someone you're not beefing with. No. He's been incredible with me. Yeah. He has always. One of the great things about David is, like, you ask him a question, and he just distills it down to, like, the right answer. He has one of the great lines. I mean, I've been told this line, I think. Like, in this business, you pay for loyalty, and sometimes you get it. Yeah. Yeah. And that would be. That's true. Yeah, true. Almost every business. And these people. But again, back to punching up. Like, the people you beef with, I never feel bad for them. That is what really is the saving grace of this book, of a guy who you think is so filled with rage. And there is a lot of rage. But it's funny rage. But, like, I don't care. Like, Jim Wyatt. I think I may have been with ICM when. And Jim. Well, maybe when you were there, in the 90s. Weren't you there for a minute? I was there. Didn't you go there from. I was there 92. Yeah, it could have been. I could have. That could have been my. 93, 92, 93 to 95. Because Bernie Brillstein's daughter was a. Lee Brillstein, wasn't it? Right? Yeah. I was there when she was there. Okay, well, then you were there when I was there, I think. Because she was my age. Well, I was about this big. Because I was an. I know. Well, so was I. Yeah, I mean, so was. Yeah. This is the 90s. And you were just on the road. No, I had done sitcoms in the 80s. You know, I came out here in 83, and I did a Tonight Show. Here's a new performing monkey. And then he'd wave you, he'd wave you. And I'd get. All that bullshit. Seems like from the Civil War era. I mean, you know. To this day, if I hear, like, a band, you know, like an old. The kind of band he had. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I start sweating. Because I just go right back to standing behind the curtain, you know, like, waiting for the curtain. How nervous were you when you. Well, of course you're nervous, because it's a Tonight Show and Johnny and. Do you remember what your act was? One time I fucked up real bad, and they were real mad at me. I did jokes about Reagan, and Fred DeCordova thought he was Reagan's best friend. And I got yelled at after the show, and I thought my career was over. Did Johnny not like it? Johnny, I'm sure, is the one who saved me. Hmm. Because they were mad at me. They were mad at me. The producer and the segment producer. And I think he was the only one who could have stepped in and said, Well, you know, comics, young comics. I remember when I made a joke about. What was the routine that you did when they said, Okay, this guy, we want to bring him? He had been shot. I guess I thought that was funny. And I don't know. They had to cut two minutes out of the show. Wow. Yeah. It was okay. Pete Barbuto. Did you still watch, like, religiously? Oh, yeah. It was everything. I remember, you know. It was everything. When we would jump in my parents' bed, all three boys, and, you know, when they let us stay up late, and you would. Of course, you would watch Johnny. We had the same experience without the bed. That's a little weird. Oh, yeah. My parents are now going to get arrested. We turned out so badly. But I do. Yeah. But I do remember gathering around the Magnavox TV for. It was that thick. Yes, it was a piece of furniture. Yeah, yeah. The TV was a piece of furniture. Yeah, yeah. And. And the antennas. Yeah, with the antenna. And, like, Don Rickles was on. Like, it was a big thing in the summer. Because in the summer, you could stay up late. And in the summer, Johnny took the show out to California. Remember that? I don't remember that. Oh, yes. Like, in the early 70s. So. No. The show was still in New York. Yeah. Until, I think, 72. But they would go to California for three weeks. You know, the guest list, of course, was great. You get all the stars who you couldn't have in New York. And then, of course, you did it. I loved, on social, seeing those old clips and the old stand-ups and the people on the. I mean, it was just. It was it. Yeah. It was. But I remember watching. Like, if Don Rickles was on, I have that memory of, like, come on, he's coming on. You know, like, everybody was okay. Gather around. You know. I know. Or, like, I remember when Bob Hope would have a special, because my parents are World War II era, and both were in it. So, like, he was the World War II comic, and they didn't like the way his politics got conservative. But it was still Bob Hope. And when he did a special, which he demanded to do four times a year in NBC, it was like his, you know. Oh, no, that was the whole. I mean, Johnny fucking hated him. Really? Oh, yes. Because he took him off. No, because I remember being on the show with Bob Hope as a guest, and Johnny bitching to me backstage before the show went on. Maybe my fondest memory. About Bob Hope? About Bob Hope. About, you know, because he was an 800-pound gorilla at NBC. He was the only thing that was bigger than Johnny. So he didn't ask when he could be on The Tonight Show. He just said, Come on. And he didn't do any preparation. His appearances were actually terrible. He was just lazy and old and wouldn't, you know, like. It was just terrible. I've told this story before, but, like, one time, this time I was on one of them, and Johnny was like, Okay, we've got to do something to get something out of this guy. He just had a bunch of stills from his career. You know, here I am in. Vietnam. Road to Rio, here I am in Vietnam. And one of them was Bob Hope in a sketch dressed as the Pope, with the. Big Pope hat. And Johnny shows it, looking to Bob for comments, and Bob goes, Yeah, there I am as the Pope. Thank you, Bob. I couldn't notice that. Insider story that adds so much. You know, in Pete Berg's movie, Mosquito Bowl, which I hope you see soon. Is that out? It's coming out on Netflix. That's your oldest friend. That's your boy. Yeah, yeah. Peter Berg. There's. Because it's. Couldn't even get him on this show. I think he's coming on this show or the show. He wants to come on the show. So there's a clip of Bob Hope when he went to Japan. Japan? During the war. Vietnam? No, Japan in World War II. Oh, World War II. Yeah. And it is incredible. He gets the live footage of Bob. It's crazy. Crazy good? Yeah, you can't believe it. In his day, he was good. Oh, yeah. And he went to all these guys and, I mean, it was just. He lived to be, I think, 100. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, he was, you know, phoning it in, but he was so legendary those last 20 years. Yeah. Reportedly, I'm saying reportedly, don't sue me, but I've read it, got a hooker every night. Like, he was on the road every night. Wow. Doing, like, charity gigs that. He was paid for. It wasn't like charity. He was getting paid? Well, I've gotten paid for charity gigs. People will pay you, and they'll make more money. They'll still make a profit, I think. But he was then getting hookers every night? I mean, this is what I. Alleged! This is alleged. But, yes, I think that's, you know, he was a hound right up until the end. The one thing I liked about him. No. But, I mean, we shouldn't gossip. I mean, he's an American legend. My parents, you know, had mixed feelings about both him and Frank Sinatra because they were the two World War II guys. And then they both became Reaganites. Oh, yeah. And my parents. Personally, I'm proud of them. I'm sure it was the same in your house. Oh, my God, yes. Nixon, Reagan. No, not, no. Yeah, but was there anybody more powerful than Sinatra and at the time, you know, Johnny Carson? I mean, those two guys were, I mean, they were. They were unbelievable. Unbelievable. I mean, at his height, I think Johnny got 17 million. Then. At 1130 at night. But, I mean, that just bespeaks of how much the world has changed. Of course, there was no video games. There was no internet. No, there was three networks. And three, there was nothing else to do if you weren't asleep. Yeah. You could watch him. You could watch the other guy who was always a sacrificial lamb who was going to not succeed. Dick Cavett, whoever they put up against him. Alan Thicke, you know, lots of people, talented people. Not so great one, Jerry Lewis. Yeah. You know, anybody, Joan Rivers, whatever. And Johnny would just easily dispatch them all, you know. He had his thumb on all of America. He was like. Oh, he was incredible. Well, he was cosmopolitan in a way that very much appealed to. Where is he from? He was from Kansas. Where is he from? Nebraska. Nebraska, yeah. But he was cosmopolitan in a way that appealed to the coast. You know, and the hip people. And his jokes were just touching the line sometimes. They were crazy. But he was a Nebraska kid. So that, he spoke to the whole country. That's what they don't do anymore. That's what I keep still trying to do is speak to the whole country. The whole country doesn't want to speak together. A lot of them don't. And then they could handle it together. But lots of people from both camps still want to talk to me. And that's not true of a lot of people anymore. No. You know. And. You know. As I said before, we're on the same page there. You've got to talk to people. And it's just. It's exhausting hating. Isn't it? Well, here's what I. Who would know better than you? Here's what I would. It is exhausting. It's exhausting. Yeah. I mean, it's one of the things in the book I talk about. There was a period of time when I realized I cannot keep on going with rage. I can't keep on going with hate. I can't keep on going. There's sometimes I, like, I have to do it. And I go after Tanya or other people. But I can't keep on doing it if I want to get. If I want to grow and get bigger and feel better. And so, you know, I was on a path to kind of try and do that. And so, I didn't. I'm not there. You've got to keep on working on it. I don't want you to be there yet. If you're still working, you've got to be somewhat rageful. Rageful. No, I mean somewhat. You know, it's like one of the funniest things I've got to say in the book is it's a little. It's a book within a book, really. Or it's something. It deserves more than. Just the space you give it about when you are first portrayed as Ari Gold. The character from Entourage, which is, of course, everybody. Even the people in Nebraska knew it was based on you. You're Ari. It was Ari. And then this mental thing that you go through where, like, wait. Am I more this character than the one? I'm imitating the guy on TV who's imitating me. Is that me? Was it leading? Did it take a TV show for me to see who I really am? This very weird thing, right? It was weird. It was really weird. And the real Entourage guys, like the one that the characters were based on, would actually hang around your office? Yes. That's crazy. I said to Doug Allen. The creator. Yeah, the creator of the show. Did I bring a phone into my family? He was, no, that was me. I was like, because I didn't realize. Which? Did I talk to you about this? And then people would ask me, hug it out, bitch. And I was like, okay, I'll hug it out, bitch. And, like, it was leading. I was following. I was following. You don't know whether your character is more real than you. But it did help in my business. I noticed that, too. At one point, you said something like, you wanted to get this deal or something. You were like, like a performing monkey, I did my best, Ari Gold. Yeah. But, you know, that's the worst thing you ever did. I mean, it's like, you know, yeah, you took advantage of. It was part of the shtick. It's like a pretty girl taking advantage of being pretty. I mean, it gets so much hate. Have you noticed that? What? Pretty girls. Like, it's like almost politically incorrect to be pretty anymore in America. It's like, what about the girls who aren't so pretty? How's this? You're going to make them feel bad. You don't feel that way? No. Watch TV late at night. You know what? You know what? I want to see late at night, like before I go to bed. So I always watch TV before I go to bed. What are you watching these days? Well, you know, many things, like a movie that came, that was in the theaters recently would be my first choice because they come on Voodoo, I guess that's Fandango, whatever it is. It's like, I love that. I used to do that in hotels when I was on the road. You know, a movie that was out three, I keep waiting for The Odyssey to come on, but maybe that'll have to be a little longer. But most of them come on. Or something I don't even know. I never even knew about it, but they made it. Somebody gave money for it, and I watch it, and it's like, oh, this is pretty good. You know, I like this. I can see why the public, it wasn't their thing, but I liked it. It was a historical thing. I just watched one about the Peasants' Revolt of 1381. Now, I could, Andrew Garfield's got quite a cast. Is it good? Yeah, for me. I mean, but most people are not me. I see 1381, and I say, you have my money now. You know, that's, you. You're going to tell me a story I don't know, and I'm going to lose something. Oh, my God, I'm hard already. 1381. But, yeah, it's, if you like. So, where is it where pretty women, where am I, what am I watching? So, like, I watch more than one thing. I've got a great attention span. So, I've got, like, about an hour, maybe an hour and a half to watch TV. It's the last thing before I shut out the light. Not the way you're supposed to do it. I know. I understand. Blue blocker glasses, maybe that helps a little. Maybe it helps nothing. But, anyway. Aren't they supposed to be red? It's when I'm. Is it blue? Yeah, blue. Block out the blue. Okay, whatever it is, I'm going to do it. Because I like to watch TV. It's the, you know, the passive time of the day. So, yeah, there's always, I mean, they talk about this town dying. Maybe the town is dying. But not the entertainment industry. There's more shit than ever on streaming. And it's going to be more and more and more than it's ever been. It's crazy how many things. I do not lack for things to watch. Or I could go back, I'm watching. No, but where is this place where pretty women. Pretty women are getting killed. Okay. Nowhere. And that's the problem. If you go through, like, this. So, like, I watch one thing and then I watch another thing. Okay, now I want to go to sleep. The last thing I want to see before I go to bed is a pretty face. Now, maybe that makes me a pervert. If it is, fuck you, I don't care. I like to see pretty women. I like them. I'm a heterosexual. There you got me. So, like, there's 50 movie channels. From 501 on my thing to, like, 555. If I scroll through all those, very often, I cannot find one pretty face. Really? Yeah. It's like, they just, you know. And then, you know, it's like. Sometimes you do. Oh, my God, there's Keira Knightley in. What's the one? The classic one she did, you know, with Mr. Darcy. Pride and Prejudice. Pride and Prejudice, yeah. So good. Yeah. And you think. Isn't it beautiful? You think now there's. Potentially. Yes. I see so many parts. It's like, really, you couldn't put a cute girl in that one. Would that kill you? It's just wrong. I'm going to now pay attention. I'm going to do that tonight. Don't tell the wife. No. She won't be watching it. You know what I saw last night? Norm's, you know, they did a documentary on. Norm Macdonald? Yeah. Oh, I loved him. Oh, wow. What? It was the last 15 minutes. I haven't got to. It was kind of crazy. I didn't know him that well. I mean, I watched all, you know. Wow. What a life. What a comedian. Oh, yeah. But what about the life? I don't know about the life. I mean, it seems like it was. He's very secretive. Yes. So I just knew. And you can never figure out. Like, I didn't realize that he. I didn't graduate high school. I didn't go to college, but he did go to college. And there's all these things that, like, there was a curtain around him. Look, most comics. We know each other. You know, maybe we didn't. Yeah, you're hanging out before you go up. Not always. Like, he and I know. We didn't start exactly at the same time in the same city. But over the years, yeah, you get to sort of be. It's very quick. It's like two cops meeting. They know what the world is. Right. So, for each of them. And the same with comics. Him? I have no idea. I don't think I ever. I don't remember a long conversation. Just. It was just all about the work and who are you. Right. I mean, he. I don't know. You could. I could tell you. It could be Batman. You didn't. And I didn't understand the whole thing. He got very heavy. What? At the end? Yeah. He got, like, from where I knew him to. But maybe that was part of a. Of a thing. Treatment he was on? I don't know. I haven't finished the last 15 minutes. I fell asleep. I'm going to finish it tonight. But that was. You have to see it. It's on Netflix. So, why do you think the worms do it? Because, like. So, here's your life. Unpasteurized goat. Gold yogurt, I think, is probably. Here's what it is. you um to to stay healthy you need less and less inflammation in your body there's an answer to that that's not exactly that which is inflammation is a symptom yes it can be very bad but why do you get inflammation because there's some place your body wants to get more help to inflammation is widening the road so that you can get more of the good stuff you can reduce the the time by which your body is inflamed right if you don't need in the road to be widened that's the goal right you don't need it so it itself is not the problem no i agree with that okay so the vagus nerve does not go from the brain to the gut it goes from the nerve the vagus nerve vegas so there's a nerve that travels from it's named after vegas that it's not just like the town it's that way well how is it spelled i'm dyslexic you're really actually asking me to spell it okay so you you it goes from your gut to your brain and the problem in our lives right now is our guts are too everything around us is just a little bit too clean like we all everything that we eat everything is a little bit too clean and what we eat clean clean where our bodies are a lot cleaner and we have started to with all the things happening in our gut kind of the body starting to kind of eat itself because you're too clean too happy too clean this is a very very different theory than i've ever heard that we're too clean yeah even the people who eat mcdonald's all the time actually all those foods that's the one thing kennedy is doing right trying to get rid of all that i think food that has all those but how can those people be too clean how can even because it's just it's just not healthy for your gut it could i know it's not healthy for your gut it's just not healthy for your gut it's just not no but why too clean i think this is too dirty just from what i'm breathing in the air just stuff i can't even avoid the world is toxic no no the world is not toxic well the world is toxic but how our bodies are um it there's constant cleaning of everything we're just you need you need your body not to eat at itself eat at at at things that are not healthy for you that they that they go after that are not clean that's the worm yeah and the worms kind of create instead of a yeah because your body's like this idiot ate a worm i've got to go kill this so the body kind of doesn't have to eat it yeah itself it it actually takes care of all the things that are not proper in it you don't want a leaky gut do you have a leaky gut you don't want one no it's what you eat that causes a leaky well so those are things that cause inflammation and cause a problem so what you want to do is kind of like keep your body healthy in the way that the things around us are not permitting us to do okay but you know you could literally spend every minute of every day doing something for your health really i spend about three hours doing that okay to me that is a lot see that's a that's just a different choice from two different yeah but i feel good about it i i i know you do and it's includes cold plunges and yeah saunas saunas yeah light beds. Light beds? What's that? A bed with light? Yeah. That reduces inflammation also. You're really big on this inflammation. Yeah, I am. Well, you look very healthy. Thank you. I mean, you do. And I agree with you. You need about, you try and get about seven to eight hours of sleep. You do? Yeah. Hard. I don't know. Can you get through the night? No. Hard. Yeah. When you say get through the night. So I'll get to bed at like 10 o'clock. I try to get to five. Not easy all the time because I get to- Get to 5 a.m.? Yeah. 4.30. Oh, that's when you get up? Yeah. No, that's- You go to bed at three. Well, I try to get into bed at one. That's when my, one of those mattresses that cools. Yeah. And then you do the hour of TV. Then I watch TV. Yes. I mean- But you don't get up until 10 or 11. It's that. I mean, well, I think it's important if you can, and we're very privileged people, to get up without an alarm. That's what I- I never get up with an alarm. Really? Never. Never? Never. But you also wake up when you're supposed to? Yeah, I get up at 4.30, five o'clock. Holy fuck. Okay. Well, I have to sometimes set the alarm for noon. Could you sleep past eight hours? Well, in bed past eight hours because- Because it depends on how much time I need in bed to get that sleep. That's the problem. It can easily take me an hour to fall asleep. Wow. And then get up in the middle of the night and not even- How do you do the show, this, read all the books you have to read? How do you do all of that? Well, I mean, first of all, I'm not on the road anymore. I have way more time than I ever used to. This takes only the time I'm doing it. Do I look like I'm prepared? No, but I mean, but you have to, if it's a book, you have to read the book. If it's for your show, there's always people out with a book you have to read. And you've read all those books. No, there's a lot of reading and a lot of writing. I do it all week. I don't go out in the week. I mean, I'm working all the time. I just work different hours. I may get up at 11 or noon, but I'm going to put in a full day. I mean, look, the one good thing that happened after COVID was I only go into the office one day a week, which I love that we stay connected that way, but we don't need We have one Zoom meeting and the rest of it, I do at home and send stuff back and forth to the writers. And, you know, we've got it down to a fine oil machine, but, uh, you know, I, I put in the time and I love, I love it. I mean, uh, look, there's careers and there's jobs. We've both had jobs like delivering shit without GPS in the dark with a fucking map on your lap. I once was looking for a job and it was right off the road. I could have, I'm lucky it wasn't into a telephone pole, but it was definitely right off the road. And, uh, and, but then careers, you know, people who have careers are lucky because that means sure you work, you work hard, but you like it. A career you like, a job you have to, cause you like it. And it's bringing you, I say to somebody, somebody always said, I said, would you have a, a, a job, a life, a life of purpose and meaning or a life of pleasure? I'd rather have purpose and meaning that actually gives me pleasure. And, you know, this whole thing about, I just want a pleasurable life and, but no, it's not pleasure, just hanging out. All right. We have a clip of your next beef. Who would you like to, uh, would you like to, before you. I don't need any help. I can figure that one out, I can figure that one out. Before you go, would you like to plug hating anybody? Who would you like? No, I'm good. There's a long list. You must be promoting. I should get in the ring with the UFC. I'm telling you all these guys who you didn't like. The Jim Wyatt's and they just all seemed like boat shoot wearing, you know, just the kind of, I don't know, they just, the way you portrayed them, Eisner and, uh, oh, Mr. Ovitz and just, just these pompous, I mean, you can be an agent and it makes you a great person. It could also just pump you up to be such a prick. I mean, a lot of what you're talking about doing in the early part of the book is like you wanted to change the agency culture. Yeah. You think you did? I think I did. Yeah. It's not perfect, but let me- So your, your place isn't full of those types? No. You wouldn't- I, I, I wouldn't put up with them. All right. Well, I hope you're not planning to hand me off to any of them. No. I, do I not? I, I text you an, I, hopefully enough, I'm seeing you on Friday, to how much I love the show. I know. All right. Thanks. Thank you. All right. That was fun. Did you have fun? Did it look like a- Did it look like a hit? Yeah. Okay. Who, who could act that?