Are You Garbage & The Evergreen White w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

(keyboard clicking) That sound could mean a lot of things. And when something's going wrong at home, the hardest part can be figuring out what the problem actually is. At Thumbtack, you can upload a voice message or a photo. And our AI-powered search will help diagnose your project. Plus, the pros we know have over 14 million five-star reviews so you can hire with confidence. Thumbtack, we know homes. Hire the right pro today. (upbeat music) - Hey, I'm Bobby. - And I'm Hymagarsia. - And this is the Bobby and Hymagarsia show. - Woo-hoo. - And I'm Kallaila. - I don't know your voice. - Sorry. - I'm Kallaila, the testosterone in my veins is pumping. I break the mouth. - Are you still in the Hawaiian show? - Yeah. - He knew that he was, I told him he was coming so. - And I didn't know he was coming. - You said you're. - Ha. (clapping) (clapping) - Hi, how are you? - Just those two seats right there. - Are you still? - Go see you again. - You're a new pup, all right? - Yes. - Congratulations. - Thank you. - What do you want us? I think you're gonna go right there. - I think he's in the middle. - I love it over there. - It's cozy. - The Bobby and Hymagarsia. - Who plays the piano? - Would you ever sit in the middle seat in the airplane? - Me? (laughing) - I have an uncle that's one. - I ruined a couple of flights. - Sure. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah. - Here, Hymagarsia, look at this thing. - How's Hymagarsia? Move more. - Not good here? - This is cozy. (laughing) - It was rough. - Good. - Yeah? - You live here? - No, I live with rough. But I just come out here for work. - How many days you have to come out here? - I four days. - A week? - A week. - Yeah, four days. - A week. - I miss a couple of days. (laughing) - I come here four days a week. This is the whole month. (laughing) I come here four days a week when I do come if I come. - Yeah, rough's just a house playing with his girlfriend and playing with his cars and stuff. - Hey, with his girlfriend. - Do you live with Ralph? - He's in love. He's got a new girl. - Okay. - He's got a new girl. - He's in love, okay? - Just to understand the purpose. (laughing) - Thanks, bud. - No, it's not a good thing. - Okay. - Round eye. - GI. - Yeah. - Is it a Sontoku ice? - Yeah, you do a little bit. - What's that? - What? - The floating iris. - Yeah, I don't know what it is. - It was a floating iris. - Billy Eilish-eye. (piano music) - You know what that cans? - I'm gonna put the cans on. - Since when do you play the piano? - I never. Asians are born this way. (laughing) - Do you know that? - I did not know how I did. - Asians are born with certain abilities. - Mm-hmm. - I can't believe a piano. (piano music) - Are you talking about it? - Well, we're watching in play. (laughing) - We're born with Ninjitsu, Tequandoish skills. But it depends on what house you're from. I'm from the house of Lee. We're good at Apacus. - Was your brother a good student in school? - And then he got to college? - What the fuck are you asking shit about my brother for? - Huh? - Yeah. - H Foley. - 'Cause you said you were a bad student, you didn't go to college. - That's I'm so sorry. - I assume that's harder on a Korean family. - Yeah. - It was very hard for a Korean family. - The whole family. - Yeah. - Where's that? - Your eyes are spooky. - Okay. I mean, you complimented them before. And now you're saying they're spooky. - They're not spooky. They're so round and beautiful. - Oh, thank you. - And perfect. - You think so? Let me see. - I got good eyes. - Yeah. - Not much else, but good eyes. - The type of white you are, white desert. I call it evergreen white. - And what's white? - It's very average white. - It's always been this case. - Hit me, where's white? - 400 years. - No, you mean. This is that Paul Revere fucked with people that look like you. - Yeah. - I don't think so, man. - Right down the middle. - You're right down the middle of white, which is great. - Now we're talking. - It's modern. He's modern white. - It's awesome. - Modern white, they didn't look like that back then. - No, if you change his hairstyle, he'd be a baker in the like '90s folder. - The 40s? - Yeah, yeah. - 40s I'll give you. - Yeah, yeah. - He wasn't Paul Revere. - Who are there two in the fucking 40s, probably. - No. - Yeah, yeah. - No. - Where would you be a welder? - In the 40s? - I'm a welder. - What's a tail gun? - B29. - Teach me everything. - Tail gunner, B29. Memphis Bell. - He's big in bombs. - You're in the military. - So you're back in the plane shooting? - I'm back in the plane shooting. - So how much weight has to be in the front for you being the back? (laughing) - For what you guys think? - For what you guys in the front, guys? - Obviously I wouldn't have this weight on it because there'd be no-- - There'd be rash in the back. - Saturated fats and all that stuff. It'd be good stuff. - You know what? - Apple in the 1950s. - Okay, you're right. - You have to eat five apples to equal that nutrition. - I know. And you know what? - And four big Macs. (laughing) - Same big Mac. - Yeah. - Did you sleep all right last night? - So I'm good. - Yeah. - Great. - Yeah. - Back to the house did another pod took a dip. I had a couple of beers. - A couple of beers. - Uh-huh. - Yeah. - Nice. How have you been doing? Are you coming back and forth between Hawaii as well? - Not lately because I just had a baby. - It's a baby. - Congratulations, Bob. - Thank you. Congratulations to you. - Thank you. - Congratulations to you. - Congratulations. - Yeah. - You know babies are interesting. - Sure. - They are interesting. - Yeah. I like when they go, um. - Google Gaga. - When they say something. - Google Gaga. Who said that? - Me. - Me. - Me. - Most people go Gaga, Google. But you want Google Gaga. - Oh it's Google Gaga. - I don't think it's Gaga Google. - I think it's Google Gaga. - What do you think it is? - Let me do it. - Google Gaga. - Or a Google Gaga. - I got to go Google Gaga. - I'm going to go Google Gaga. - Yeah. - If they offered you a look who's talking. Would you do it? A reboot? - Yes. - Yeah, dude. - I'm talking. - I'm going to go for it. - It's a white baby, but it's a career. - I would do the accent. - Speaking of that. You know what blew my mind the other day? I saw a clip of Pat Moriarty. You know who he is? - Pat Morita. - Pat Morita. - Sorry. - Pat Morita. - He killed bars outside of Philly. - Is that Sherlock Holmes anime? - That's Sherlock Holmes anime. - Sherlock Holmes anime. - From Japan. - Well, I really didn't know who it was. - I'm Pat Moriarty. - That was Sherlock Holmes anime. - Moriarty. - Moriarty. - Moriarty. - Moriarty. - I thought it was opium. - Moriarty. - James Moriarty. - Moriarty was his nemesis. Anyway, you saw Pat Moriarty where. - He's American. - He's American. - No. I saw him on a clip. It was like battle the network stars. - Yeah. - He died. - He died. - Of course he's an American. - I didn't know that. He killed that accent. - Oh, he did. - He killed it. - He was in happy days. Of course. - He was Arnold. - But he also had an Asian accent in that. - Oh, he did do it. Yeah, back then you had to. - You had to. - It weren't cast on that guy as a guy from Cleveland. (laughing) - That guy had to be from another country. - Yeah. - Walking in the 50s. - Have you ever met him? - No, he died before my time, but. - You don't know him? (laughing) - I don't know if he's shocked that he just never crossed paths or he thinks you guys all know him. - I want to say something to you. - Please. - Okay, both of you. I love you. Thanks for being here. - Of course, we're happy. Thanks for having us. - You know, Roy Choi, you know, David Chang. - Yeah, I do. - Alley Wong. I do. - James Moriarty. - Yeah. - Gary Moriarty. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I'm saying is that in these days you have gatherings. - Uh-huh. - We have Asian excellence award. - Yeah. - What's the Golden Rod, what is that thing? - Golden Gala. - Golden Gala sets where the Asians gather. So yes, I meet them there. - You meet them there. - Have you ever won a golden dumpling? (laughing) That was my nickname in high school. - There you go. - But, um, yeah, so we, so if Pat was still alive, I'm one of our partners. - You would have crossed paths. - Well, he would have done this podcast. - For sure. - Because I was, I know, you know, Asian actors tend to help each other out. Like you said, you even have comics and stuff that you work with. - Did you know Steve McQueen? - Yeah. (laughing) - I did, graduated high school. - I was actually in bullet. - Oh, you were, yeah. - Yeah, you were the bullet. - I was the car. - Oh, you were the car, am I bad? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I don't know. What Asians do I not know? - Uh, mm. The Asian Mafia is pretty close knit. So I think everyone knows everyone. - Yeah, we have a Lily. - Right? - We have a Lily. Am I part of the Mafia? - Yeah, okay, come on, dude. - Hello. - You're the actress, Suki. - Hello. Suki? - Oh, wait, you don't know Peggy Goo. - Peggy. - She's like Google Gaga. - Hi, high-end Asian. - Really? - DJ, yeah, look her up. - DJ? - Yeah. - That's not real. - No, but she is very like socialite, cool girls. It's like pull up a picture. - Yeah, but she live it. - She's from New. - Age Fuller's gonna go crazy. - Oh, wow. - She's very good. - Oh, she's perfect for me, dude. - What are you at a store? - No, she, hey. What's her name, Peggy Goo? - She's an international superstar. - I'm an international to Peggy Goo. - Have you ever seen Indian dudes in Bollywood? - Yes. - How big those guys are? - Yes. - What's the guy's name? Shaka Khan or something like that? - Shaka Khan. (laughing) - The word was a Bollywood director. - The word was a Bollywood director. - Really? Wow, I was gonna live over there. I lived over there for a year after college. I left over to the effort Sounds like you're gonna blend it in Where can I get some chicken chicken masala? No, no, hey, you're gonna wash your hands buddy. I had to start doing the accent so they would understand me sure We have to change your voice for now What what is that voice you get weater every time we come? I feel like that He didn't just greet me with that voice. He took a hard gear. Yeah, you were in a suit the last time we were here Oh, that's right. The suit era that the suit era. Is that over? Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, now he's doing like numb Namaste Even so go who I like I like the glasses. Yeah, good shirt. Yeah, look good. That's great. Um, so you were there for how long? Yeah a year a year. How many movies do you make? I was fourth assistant director on Musoffer That's not directing pot boiler. That's not directing. Oh, I got it wrong Wait, fourth assistant director. Yeah, that's Pete. That's a PA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a gofer But um, wow, so you know, where did you stay in India? Uh, and juhu juhu beach. It's a very family part of a Bombay Juhu beach. Juhu Beach. Yeah, did you want to get into that? Is that why you went there? No, I Kidnap. What a waste of aggressive I'm just shocked. Yeah, round die. Take it easy. Why do you grow up like you're seven-day Adventist, right? Really? I went to film school at University of Michigan and they came up. What's the seven-day Adventist? They're the ones you can't like What are you reading by the way? You know all these things very educated. It's like a lot of Filipinos are seven-day Adventists Well, they're the ones that they're Filipino like footloos. They can't dance Drink coffee. They don't your vegetarian, right? Yeah, kind of like Mormons, but we worship on the Holy 7th day. You're Filipino Fucking guys all over the place. I'm an Andy in Filipino. I Live in Juhu Beach. Yeah, wait, Kevin. You didn't know that she was Filipino. No, I knew she was He said I thought you looked at her again. Are you Filipino? No, no, no, she was explaining the religion and she said a lot of Filipinos are I thought most Filipinos were Catholic Yeah, Filipinos largely Catholic the whole south of it is Muslim and then I don't know a lot of like Filipinos Americans SDA you law to SDA. Yeah, what's up is that seven-day Adventist. All right, give me a favor. I had a long week Seven-day Adventist. Yeah, is that something with Mormons or something similar similar? Yeah Are we miss representing the religion? Oh, no, it came out like 1844 like it like the late 1800s There was a revival of Christianity in America. Yeah, and it came out of that whole movement Are you still do you still practice a lot? No, cuz you'd have to like go to church on Sabbath On Saturday, okay, cuz they're going back to the Jesus's religion Okay, you know the real stuff cuz you know the Pope at the Antichrist because he changed the seventh day You know if you're ready if you're ready for the end of the world. I can tell you how to avoid it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we really want to know I know all about This is what you were raised in yeah, okay. I want to know. I want to know. What do I do? Well, the Pope's the Antichrist because he changed the Holy Sabbath day to Sunday Whoa, you sent me to Connor all of a sudden bastard I see God's rules, okay? So the mark of the beast is actually worshiping on Sunday When the end of the world comes, you know you did to get saved you got to just force your punts at it If you didn't have a microphone they peed and you were on the street people would think you're crazy Say all that whichever spec. Yeah, so if I went on Saturday's church and stuff, but I didn't believe in God. Is that am I good? Halfway there halfway there you're gonna listen to this guy. What is that? So that's that's there like Joseph Smith It's a woman. Yeah, that's pretty progressive. Yeah, I'm sure that's great. That's great. That's great Wow, not a lot of titty on that do you hand some woman let's pause for this This pause a reflect not a lot of you talking shit about the Pope. You're back in Ellen gee, right? That gobs him so hot. I must have saw give it and you have to do every individual button look at that Those aren't crazy. You got to make all that shit. Yeah, yeah, but those aren't snap-ons. Mm-hmm. You have to go everybody. Oh Imagine being half drunk trying to make a move on her Isn't the lore around like pediculls, you know when women had like multiple layers of clothing in the skirts Apparently that was because it was like the era of like veneerial disease Mm-hmm, and it would mask the smell of the God damn. God damn. I don't know if that's just the lore. I don't know if that's actually true, but Well, you could smell syphilis you could smell Like syrup Yeah, you can you if I smelled gonorrhea and then syphilis would I be able to know the difference this one's tangier. This is syphilis Goneria more oued, you know Syphilis is actually not a gonorrhea would probably smell more because it's like a bacterial thing Yeah, yeah, syphilis is like a long progression like a chronic sickness. Hi, man. Do you have any diseases? No, man But sure about that. You never had you as a praises woman or what We're not cheap. We're not back to what if you a praiser like a like property. What do you mean? We're not shit? Praise her. Oh, praise her like god. Oh like bow down her and pray to her. Yeah, I don't think so No, it's not really don't right. You just read all of her books. You wrote the great controversy, which is all about the big war and heaven the Happening right now, right? Oh wow There's a war in heaven. Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was fighting us Versus Moses like what is it Red versus Jesus Moses drops back passes the Moses So they don't think all that stuff happened in the beginning of time the fallen angels and all that stuff Oh, no, we're not which is wait, which one because why is the devil up there? He shouldn't he be down there and hell. Why are they why is he beefing with I don't remember? It's a long book and I Isn't all access pass I think don't you think pass pass that he has a pass to get up there? Yeah, do whatever he wants angel, right? He's an angel. Yeah, I am you guys are I'm out of my depth on this one Yeah, you really what about dinosaurs? You didn't believe in that religious neither well dinosaurs actually dinosaur Bob came to my Grade school in fifth grade. I learned the dinosaurs were created during the flood and You know why you have different stratas of like dinosaurs is because the fast dinosaurs could run to the top of the hill And that's why every dinosaurs at a different era Like so they're really like the amoebas are at the bottom and then they got filled in with the flood They got drowned and then you have like every little like so it like yeah, right on Bobby. What's your place a song? Thank you, mr Dinosaur Dinosaurs Yeah, really Interesting do you believe this or you're just H don't don't okay. Yeah, don't don't tell him. Yeah, very good good information How are you preparing for the colder season and spending more time indoors in your bedroom? Yes, staying comfortable inside with your helix mattress, correct? Of course, you know, I have rooms Okay, Lenny. Yeah, not as big as Andrew Santino my house, but I mean it's pretty good. Yeah couple at rooms all my rooms have beds all my beds Are helix because wow if I have guests, you know, I mean we have you know if we are going to civil war and in some you know Some bearded man want to spend the night. I would want that bearded man to sleep on one of the best mattress possible. Yeah, good nights rest Yeah, um, it's uh you can you can fill out a little form it's so easy You just take a little quiz and let them know if you're a back sleeper a side sleeper what aches and pains you have And it matches you with the perfect mattress for instance like I run really hot. Yeah, I'm a side sleeper So I got matched with a midnight mattress. I sleep upside down. You do and they have a mattress for that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and has you sleeping improved? Yeah, I did for for for sure because of helix exactly It's it really is the best mattress and I don't know what you Where you use, you know, it's probably some bamboo sticks or whatever, but what I'll or whatever you do, you know I mean, but I'm I'm going to encourage you to get a helix, you know, because the cold seasons coming up. Yeah, exactly I mean perfect season. Cuffing season. Yeah, so um guys if you want the best mattress You want the slip king if you want to sleep like the slip king sleep on helix go to helix sleep.com/belly for 20% off-site wide That's helix sleep.com/belly for 20% off-site wide make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you Helix sleep.com/belly Oh, yeah, this segment is presented by cash app the other day. I was online maybe a couple weeks ago so maybe two weeks ago And I um, you know, I I like to buy cologne a lot, but you know buying cologne online is crazy Because you're not smelling it. I've seen you in action. Oh blind purchase. Yeah, you're blinding it and you're reading the description It says like oaky foresty, but also with a floral scent you know, I mean with a little bit of lavender and Ood, and you think I think I'm pretty sure I'd like this you think you you got I'm and then it comes and you spray it Are you disappointed? Yeah, you feel like a Hungarian Gulag. Yeah, so collilo, do you have any items that you've purchased? I'm a little bit more of a character - Beautiful shopper, but I would say one. - Oh wow, that's fired. - One of my more recent ones. I think just 'cause like, as like a mom, you wanna buy everything all the time for your kid. Like dumb stuff at like three in the morning. - Yeah. - So most of my-- - Like what, a rattler? - Like, for instance, right? You're like, oh, he-- - Three of them are, you're bringing a rattler. - Not a rattler. Like, you're like, oh, he's like, probably doesn't need one for like a couple of years, but let's buy him a whole kitchen set. - Oh, come on. - Why? - I don't know 'cause-- - He's gonna be a culinary genius. - But it's that type of stuff at 2 a.m. when you're like, oh, I've now spent a grand-- - What's the moment, baby socks? I mean, he's a pretty big-- - Got big feet. - Big feet. - He does have big feet. - Yeah, yeah. - No. - That's what I would do if I were you. - So not worth it. - Not worth it. - I think always worth it, because for the memories, for the memories, and just for the silliness of it all. - Hi, Mae. - I go on a website every now and then. - What kind? - Just websites, would they sell stuff? - What kind of stuff? - I'm fine. - Why are you saying it this way? - That sounds so shady. - I bought some-- - Are you trying to think of a hog in me? - My hog in me? - My hog in me. - My hog in me would-- - My hog in me would. - Usually it's about like eight by five pieces of wood. - My hog in me. - Four by five. Four by five. And what are you gonna make? - A hut. - Okay, okay, okay, I get it. That's the, if you're gonna make a hut, my hog in me is the root wood. - Yeah. - Yes. - Is it worth it or not? I haven't got it, but yeah, I think it is. - Great. For a limited time, new cash app customers can earn $10 that use code Secure10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days term supply. Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by cash app's bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by sudden bank member FDIC, discounts and promotions provided by cash app, a block, incorporated brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. (upbeat music) - So there's levels to the dinosaur's fossils as per say. - Well, yeah, the fast ones. - Okay, good, good. I fucked up. - That's what you have like bigger dinosaurs at the end, at the top. - Yeah. - Top of what? - Like the stratus of like the era is like, you know, like there was, like where you find the fossil. - Yeah. - Yeah. - If you dig deep enough, there's like older, is it what you're saying? - The old tiny ones, you know, there's old tiny ones. - Oh, cute. - Yeah. - You know those tiny T-rexes? - So cute. - You know those are adorable. - Yeah. - So the franchise of Jurassic Park. - Okay. - Is that any relation to this? - She wrote that book. - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - The Jurassic Park is factual. - Turned by Ellen Gold. - Yeah. - By that white lady. - Yeah, by white lady. - Yeah, there it goes. - Steven Spielberg. - Yeah. - Have you ever met Mexicans before? - What's up? - Yeah. - Yeah, they have. - Yeah. - Well, you're from the East Coast. More Puerto Ricans. - It's more Dominican, more Puerto Ricans. - Dominican, yeah, yeah. - You got it all, baby. You live in Queens. The most diverse place on the planet. - Yeah. - Whoa. - No dinosaurs though. - Yeah. - Queen. - You both live in Queens? - No, I live in Manhattan. - Manhattan. Do you guys see each other outside of work? - Hmm. - Touchy subject. (laughing) - I mean, let me say something. People seem to think that me and Andrew hang out all the time, but no, it's mostly work. - Sure. - Yeah, we work a lot though. - That's not true. We all hang out. - Yeah, that's true. - This podcast hangs out. - We hang out more, I think. You guys all go out together. - Yeah. - There's always family functions. - Family function. - Yeah. - Family function. - My baby's birthday. - Okay. - Everybody went to that? - Yeah. - Yeah, well, I went. - I knew it. - What about George didn't go? - Everyone was invited. - We're all invited. - Do you guys go together? - Yeah. - Gilbert didn't go. Alex went. - Why didn't you guys go? - Oh, it's pretty far. - Pretty far away. What about you, George? - I was sick. - I can't go out on Wednesdays. (all laughing) I'm teasing you, George. I'm sorry. So you guys don't-- - I feel like he's getting mad. - He's gonna murder you. (all laughing) - On this seventh day, you will go. (all laughing) - But you guys don't think. - No, we do. We'll go to a game. - Yeah. - We'll catch you dinner. You know, but we see each other. When we see each other, he's got the baby and, you know. - We also work like three or four days a week together. So it's like we're together a lot. - Oh, right, right, right. - You know what I mean? So it's not like we're just like me and I'm a lot. (all laughing) Sure. It's not like we're meeting up like once a week to work. - We'll get beers or something? - Yeah. - Do spots. - Do spots. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Are you the more, 'cause in my relationship with Andrew, he's the responsible one. - Yeah. - So you're the responsible one? - We'd be. (all laughing) - So you take on-- - He's Abraham Lincoln. - All right. So you take on what, how many percentage of the work do you take on? - Outside of the show? - No, just in the show. - Nine percent. - Yeah, a lot of the work. - A lot of the business. - Every bit of our success was engineered by Kevin Ryan. - Yeah, and so. - And I'll be honest, and I'm saying this, okay. - This is fact. I think we've gotten far enough now into the podcast here. This is fact. Nobody did what this guy did. - Hey. - Nobody did. - No. - From nothing. - We weren't famous before. - Yeah. - Engineered every strategy. One of the best patrons. One of the best-- - We got a big fight before he came over here. - One of the best-- (all laughing) - Huge cock. (all laughing) - Huge cock. - Yeah, yeah. - First of all, for the loser, we're on day 10 of a row of a trip, so it's just where you know, where we've been living together, just tensions are high. - Please, please, please tell me what the fight was about. Please, please, please. - There's no one incident, just. - I know, but that's what I can tell. Because I know that Andrew, right, you build resentment, right? - You guys getting fights, fights? - Oh yeah. - Now you do? - Oh yeah. - 'Cause I remember we were in Austin together, and we were in the car, and you're like, do you fight? Do you guys fight? We're like, we're also wildly, we come from broken dysfunctional families. - Yes, so normal for us. - So do we! - Yeah, yeah, so it's like, it's not great, you know, it's like we just blow up and then fucking move on. - Yeah, so what was the fight about earlier? - There was a lot of stuff going on, a lot of stuff going on. - You know a little bit of it. - Okay, aside from that. Is it, is it resentment, am I, am I wrong here? - No. - But then if they talk about it, you have to talk about your fights. - They're real one in London. (laughing) - Leap with Leap with Leap with Leap with Leap with Leap with Leap. - Leap with Leap with Leap with Leap. - And we'll lead with LA. - All right, what's your problem, Bubby? All right, you guys go for us and then I will go for it. - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. - I had a rough summer and I put a lot of stress on the boys, I see. - We end up, yeah. It was just, and listen, we've been together for ten years. - But that's not why I said that, he's joking. He really did engineer like this crazy thing. - We understand what you're trying to do. - No. - Yeah, 'cause that's what I do. What you do is stuff that I've done, okay? - Yeah. - So how long have you guys been friends? - 15 years. - Oh, fuck did you, I know, yeah. (laughing) I thought they piped that in from the outside. - What do you know? - School newspaper. (laughing) - So what do you guys like to do in your free time? - Yeah. - We've been friends since we started comedy. We started from around 2008, 2009 and Philly. Ravenland. - Or I'll go first then. - That's it. - And then you go. - No, that's really it. - Oh, so there was no, like, when you guys fight, there's no screaming. - No, of course. - Of course. - Of course. - Or fucking dysfunctional. - Today was a little different, I'd been putting the boys under a lot of stress and it kind of, you know, peaked. - Came out. - Right. - Yeah. - Would you take on some more workload so that resentment doesn't build up? - It's not that. - Okay, okay. - It's not the workload. - Okay, okay. - He wouldn't want me doing this. - Can I be honest with you? - Yes, please. - That was a nothing burger. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your thing was a nothing burger and now I have to do my big thing that London, that's not fair. Yeah, yeah, right? - No, yeah. - Yeah, you didn't give me enough. - Yeah, you didn't get enough. I don't think you should have that. - 'Cause there really is anything, there really isn't. - 'Cause the London is juicy, it's too juicy. - Then hit us. - Yeah. - No. - Why? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's not for you. - Hit me. - Yes, it is. Give me juicy, I'll give you juice. - Okay. (laughing) - Let's juice it out, dude. - Hey, say, this honest, I'm, this one wasn't, it wasn't that juicy. It was, we had a bit of a snack food with doing a Patreon episode. - Okay. - We were like, okay, we have to scrap it and can't use it. That's all. - I've been fucking up all summer. I had a bad summer. - Yeah. - And I've been driving these guys crazy. - Me. - The pressure. (laughing) - An anxiety, mental illness. - Personal stuff. - Mm-hmm. - You know, and I've been wearing it. - 2025 has been fucked for a lot of people. I hear ya. - It's been rough, then. - I hear ya. - It's been rough. - It's okay, man. - It's rough screams, I mean. - Get off of me. (laughing) - Who invited this guy? - It was screaming you? - Rough screams, I do. - Yeah, sometimes. - Yeah, well, your dynamic is different than, 'cause he's best friends with rough bubbles. - Yeah, yeah, I love rough. - Yeah, yeah. - And he grew up together as kids. - Yeah. - That's a little defts like 20 plus years. - Yeah, yeah. - Greg. - I think he just does. - You better hang on to him, like Remodelle. (laughing) - By the way, speaking of Ralph, I've said this the other day, bit of a glow up as far as his look. He's got the hair long now. - I agree. - He looks like a fucking movie star. - Yeah, he does. - And let me tell you something. Action, buddy, cop movie, couple of years. Cam Patterson, Ralph Barbosa. - Oh yeah. - Right? - Yeah. - Are you a casting director? I love that. - No. - But I'd like to have you pay the sergeant. (laughing) - I'll be the sergeant in the movie. - You'll be the angry, you'll be the angry, you know. - I don't know, even though it's sergeant talk. Let me give it a try. - Hellioop, up, up. - Hellioop, hellioop, hellioop, hellioop, hellioop, hellioop. - How do you ask them all to coach? - I don't know. Attention. - Right, did they say that? - No. - Have you ever played a cop? - Get in line. - Pop, Bobby, pop. - Pop, Bobby, pop. - Oh, that was in the military. - Military. You're doing a lieutenant. - Oh really, I thought it was military. - No, no, no. - Like the cop, you know, the captain. - Like captain. - Yeah, we're a bossa. - Captain, get in here. - Hey, Boboza, Captain. - Wait, Boboza, who? - Captain. - Uh, uh. (laughing) - Boboza, I'm glad to see you here. - Let me do it, let me do it, let me do it. Boboza, damn, get in here. - We'll let you know. (laughing) I liked it. - That's all right. - You'll let me know. - Bobo, let you know. - It was a cold read. - Hey, this is Hollywood, baby. - Okay, all right. - It's all cold reads. - Yeah. - I lost it in the room. - Mm-hmm. - Have you been in the room? Can I ask you that lately? Or is it all self tapes? - I haven't been in the room in probably pre-COVID. - It sucks. - No, I don't, I never like the room. - You're crazy. - You like the room? - That's what you have to. You're booking the room, not the part. You go in there, hate going good to see you. - Yeah, yeah. - I said my tape in, I look fucked. That's probably gonna pass the slate. - Yeah. - What, do you do tape, do tape with them? - No, they'll hold do it in the studio. - Sometimes I'll have like one of our producers do it or whatever. - Yeah, do you give them notes? - No, it's usually before or after I've left. He does that on personal time. - Right, 'cause he's more of the actor than you are. - Yeah. - You don't ever wanna do it. - Not really, no. I've never been drawn to it. He did it before kind of comedy or whatever. Yeah, I've never just been drawn to it. - Mm-hmm. And so do you slate? - Yeah, I slate. - I don't think you slate, dude. - I do slate. I've been pushing back on it lately all the time. - You slate good? - I mean, you don't say, what slate good? - Hi, I'm H. Foley, I live in New York, I'm 5'11". - Well, fuck us. - No. - I need this, don't fuck this up with me. - That shit's so dumb. - No, it's so dumb. - You book the room, you book the job through the slate. - No. - Yeah, then what the fuck is that? - How do you do it then? - You just took what he said. - What do you mean? - When he said you booked the room. - No, he's saying that most of the times the casting directors don't get past the slate. - So the slate has to be done. - What's a good slate then? - What? - Yeah, sure. - As a novice, what's a good slate? - Okay. - I don't know. - I mean, this is my theory. Hey, oh, tell me who, my theory is this is that I try to get them to laugh through the slate. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, man. - Sure. - Like, I'll go backwards. - You'll go backwards. - Yeah, yeah. - 5'11". - Yeah, I'll slate my back. - I'll just turn my back. - Oh, you'll turn your whole back. - My whole back, okay. It ups, you know what I mean? Or I'll like start giggling. I'll just do something. - People do bits like corny bits, like I'm in a-- - Yeah, I'll do a little, a shimmy. - Do you ever do the slate in character, whatever you're doing? Or you just, you do it like-- - Hey, get 'em by my pomulee. - What? - What? - Who's that? - Amp, I'm five foot four pomulee. You know what I mean? I'm slate, and I do the, hey, forget about it. - Oh, you'll do that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's good. You're also, you're also body-le. - What do you mean? - You know. - You're a known actor. - No, not a known actor, man. - No, no, no, no actor, you know. You'd be surprised. They go, what have you done? - That's crazy. - No, but that's, that's it. - That's the industry's problem, Bobby. That ain't you. - I know, but there's always been a disconnect. I've already said this before, but there's always been a disconnect between what's going on in the world and what they're doing. - Sure. - Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of like, although last night I was at the comedy store. - Mm-hmm. - There was a lot of Fox people there. - Fox people. - Yeah. - Foxy people. - Fox people. - Okay, from the network. - No. - We're in Hollywood. - They're from the woods. - Oh. - Fox. (laughing) - You like Fox? I like Foxy. - No, there was, and, you know, what? (laughing) - What's happening? - Like Fox News or like Fox News? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Brett Bayer wasn't there. (laughing) I love Brett Bayer. - Brett Bayer. - Brett Bayer, no. - It looks like a cartoon character. - No, I just have, you know, over the years you have relationships with it. - So they, you know, you know, I mean, I said hide it though, you know what I mean. - What were they doing there? They did a showcase thing at the, like Fox News faces or something. - Ah, Fox News faces. - Which those things never work. - Yeah. - What? - That's weird. - Why? - Fox News faces? - No, like, they're seeing the new kids. Like a showcase. - Yeah. - What? - They're gearing up to make a run at them. - Yeah. - We're gonna fresh young hot talent. That's why we're in town. - Yeah, but do you like, like, those kind of new faces-y things? I never was- - We never done any of them. - Yeah, me either. - So they've had zero industry, anything. I'm not even joking it from anyone's ever been like, do this or here's this thing. - Yeah. - Not one time. - Not one time. Kevin Ryan did it all. - Not okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Here's Kevin Ryan, new face. - What do you mean? So you've never done- - Never done John's written Montreal. We've never done- - Netflix hasn't said, hey, come do a show. - No. - No, nothing. - Wow. - We had some big Hollywood meetings this week. - Yeah. - That's a great town. - All right, good, good. - So who? - Suck our dick. - Ralfs. - I'm a cashier next week. Part time training. - Yeah. - Wow. - So you did go today and you're pitching ideas or- - Yeah, but like- - More general. - But like what are we doing? - Yeah, it's just like, they're like, oh, you guys are doing great and you're like, yeah, this is like, you can't. I don't know. - Can you tell me what companies you want? - Kevin Hartz. - Great. All things comedy. - All things comedy. - Oh, that's easy. North Hills. - North Hills. - Would you see it? All things. - Really? - Yeah. - He's the best. - Yeah, great. - Yeah, everybody's great. - Yeah, you guys were with him. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Of course. - Why not? - Yeah. - 'Cause they knew we were doing good. - They knew we were on them. - But Billy was a head of comedy at Hulu for a long time? - Yeah. - Yeah, he was great. - No, everybody was really nice. It's just like very much, I don't know. - Kevin Hartz got a nice place. - Nice joint. - We sat in the- - 70 person conference room. It was me, him and one other guy. - Wow. - Were you nervous? - What? - No. - Go over. - Whoa. I like the confidence. What are you talking about? - What do you mean? I said, that's a valid question. - Nervous. - Yeah. - You know what? - You don't. - Open a mic or would a number on my cheek? - How do you talk? - I, H. Foley, 5/11 from New York. - They never gave us anything. We took it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Huh? - Yeah. - But do you have a plan thing when you go in there? - No, not really. - We're good at winging it. - Yeah, we do have a plan thing. - We signed with new management. We have like an 18 month plan of things that we're out. We're in the process of producing. - Would I have to read for you guys, you think? - Shut up. - No. - Yes. - Never. - Never. - Let's say you write a drama movie and he comes in. - Are you talking us? - Yeah. - He talks to the space. - The area. - And then you say you're trying to make the people laugh? But what if it's a drama role? - Yeah, dumbass. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - You do that shit on Christopher Nolan, it'll fucking bounce you with that weird soundtrack. (laughing) I saw a tenet on a plane. I almost fucking freaked out. - Yeah. - Pull it back with that a little bit. - Yeah, pull it back. - Jesus Christ. - Have you ever seen the new PTA movie yet? - Yeah, I want to see it. - It's out. - I know. - Yeah. - It's like Paul Thomas Anderson? - Yeah, here. It's incredible. It's his best one yet. - Yeah, I heard it's a masterpiece. I hear it as well. Yeah. Do you see weapons? I did not. I did not. - Why? - I heard it's really good. - Do you see it? - Not yet. No, it's too dark. - I love that movie. Don't you love that movie? - I don't know anything about it. - I don't know anything about it right now. - Oh, you're not a film guy. - Not really. I can't watch it. I have no time to watch it. - Say, well, yeah. - He's three months old. - Oh, really? Oh, really? - Yes. - Oh, but you have time to do this? He's a mother. - This is a fact. - Slurping, slurping, slurping, slurping. Why can't you just watch something? - You literally have time for nothing. Nothing. - Do you switch titties? - Sometimes I will, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, you will? - Yeah. - Is your wife breastfeeding? - No, we're doing bottom up. - I'm doing it. (laughing) - Get the good stuff. - Yeah, yeah. - What comes out of their age? Mountain Dew. - Yeah. - Wow, wow, wow. - Is that what you're breastfeeding? - Yeah. - You can't do both, right? - You can't do what both. - You can't do formula. - You can do both. You can do combo feeding. - I thought you said you can't do both. - You can do whatever you want. - I never said anything. - Yeah, but. - A bunch of suckers. Hey, Bobby. (laughing) - All for it. - Yeah, fucking hop on a jet right now and go to Reno. (laughing) Sit alone in a hotel room. I mean, can I ask you guys something? - Please. - Yes. - Give me the three-- - I've seen him. - Whoa. - In the middle of a question. (laughing) - This is like whack-a-mole of an era. - Is that a movie? - Yeah. - You've notes. - Kind of. - Wait, what? Let's see. - Just stickers. - No, no, no, no. - Can I see the notes? - He never shares them. - He never shares them, yeah. - How did you-- - There is mostly stickers on that note. (laughing) I thought, I thought Foley said that it's a bit. Just so the audio listener out there. - Did you know these guys before? - No. - You just started kind of working here, right? - Yeah. - Thanks to Ralph. - Through Ralph. - Ralph came here with Jaime. - Uh-huh. - And he was sitting over there. - Right. - And I looked at him, I go, "What is that?" - He did the same thing in our studio. - Called Security on him. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, you went over there? - No, you came. Remember you came running out? - Yeah, yeah. - So sleep. - You did? - Sorry, we were in-- - No, it's because-- - That's right, you guys were fucking drinking. - Yeah, we were. - But you didn't have them on the pod? - No. - Oh, this guy's gold. - They had just started-- You guys had just started the podcast and Ralph was promoting something. - No, I see. - All right. Um, no, we did not see him. - No. - Can we move on? - Yeah. - It's pretty wicked. - What the fuck is him? - It's a-- - Jordan Peele produced a movie called-- - Oh, yeah. - Oh, is that the ball one? - He's in a position that I don't envy. A lot of pressure, probably. - What a rich famous director. - Yeah. - He's in a suck. - You're getting your dick sucked all the time. - You're sleeping. - Yeah. What, Bobby's sleeping? - Oh, I see. - You're still at the pit bull. - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. - Why do you think he's in a bad spot? Just a lot of pressure. I don't know. I, you know, he hasn't touched your boy. He hasn't text to be back in like a year, yeah, stop. - That's your boy. - He just told me he's busy. - Sure. - With his own stuff. - Come on. - You got your own stuff too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your Bobby Lee dude, what do you keep saying? - 'Cause we love being dumb. - You're our favorite. - You're dumb too, dude. - I am dumb. - I'm real dumb. - Give me three positives now. - About what? - About what? - Anything? - No, if I wanted a baby. - About each one of you, no. Let's say you guys, I'm wearing a cafe. I don't know if we have to be at a cafe, but let's go wear a cafe. I go, hey guys, I'm thinking about having a baby. Give me some positives here. - I got nothing. - I got you. (laughing) - But you're still super early. - Yeah. It's like you started laughing and smiling. Once that happened, the first couple of weeks, you're like, "Dist, what did we do? This is fucking crazy." - Yeah, it's crazy. It's just a grind. - It's just like in your sleep deprived, and you feel like you're smoking mess. Like you're just like up, you don't know what day it is. It's fucking crazy. - Wow. - And then you're like, at that point, you start thinking like, well, this was it. Everybody's like the second you see him, it's gonna be the bed. I'm like, well, that didn't happen. - You didn't happen. - No, no, no. - But once you start smiling, you can connect with him and stuff like that. It's awesome. It's like a, it's very. - So what's your smile like? - He looks like a big fat Irish baby. - Yeah. - Big blue eyes. - Big fat one. - A little guy. - Yeah. - Did you smile when he says you? - Yeah. - Oh, that's so sweet. - Yeah. - So when they smile, and then what else is another positive? - That's about all I got. - They're really? - Really? - Really funny. They're funnier than any walking adult. They're funny. They're weird and funny. - Funny. - They're funny, Bobby. They're funny. (laughing) - Kids that don't fucking face me. (laughing) - Never when my baby just went up to you and decided he's gonna bite your nose. - Yeah. - For no reason. - Yeah, that was cute. - Yeah. - That was funny. - Are you Uncle Bobby or are you Uncle Bobby? - He's Uncle Bobby. - He is now petrified of me now. - I think it was 'cause it was a lot of people in one setting, but it was one-on-one, you guys, he likes it a lot. He was like, if he was facing me, he goes, "Yee!" - He just pulls away. - They go through a stage of like, stranger danger, but it's normal. - Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm just so excited to see him. - I think it's sure. (laughing) - Do you want to have a kid? Woo! - Fuck that, can I have it? - So what the fight in London was about? - You and me kid. - Woo! - Come on. - I, uh, I think, who said this? Somebody said this to me. Oh, your stepdad said this. - Roger. - Roger said to me the other day goes, "Don't have one." - He said the same thing to me. - And I go, right? And I go, "Why?" You go, "You're too old." By the time he's 10, you'll be 64. - Yeah. - My dad had me in his 60s, and it was like, half my life was watching him die, so it was pretty crazy. I wouldn't recommend too old, but you're not in your 60s yet. You're just 50, what, four? - Yeah. - You're fine. - Also, another thing that I, this is what I heard that you need is a partner. (laughing) - Yeah. - You've got to be someone you like too. - I know. - This parenthood is-- - I'd say love, but that's it. (laughing) - But it's like, "You've got to be someone you meet at the bus stop." You know what I mean? - What about you, big guy? You want to have kids? - Yeah. - Yeah. - How old are you? You're young. - We're 29. - 29. - Yeah. - You got a girl? - No. - No. - What happened to that one girl? - I don't think so. - She saw the notepad. (laughing) - She saw the cute cards. - No, the one. - Did you see him? - She was the baddie, the one you sent food to her. - You were dating a baddie? - A girl down here? - A baddie, baddie. - Texas. - Texas? - Single mom, right? - By where you guys are? - Yeah. - You boys are probably doing all right then, ain't ya? - He's doing all right. - I'm sure you're doing all right, too. - Oh no, you're struggling? - You're cool cars. - No, I'm struggling a bit. - You're killing it. What do you mean? - Rob's kidding. - You're killing it. - How long have you been doing stand up? - Two years now. - Look at what you are now. - Yeah, that's a pretty good fucking two years. It took us 15 years to get here. - Yeah, that's a pretty good thing. You should be grateful. - I got a strong grateful notes. - Get the big dog at the bed. - Give me some stickers, will you? - Yeah, Rob has it. - How's it going right now? - Well, you were just casually seeing this bird? Then it fizzled out. - Do you remember who I'm talking about? - Yeah. - Other many, that many. - She friends on me. - How? - She's like, "Hey, I wouldn't fuck 'em." (laughing) - I gotta explain this to you. (laughing) - How? - I think she went back to her baby daddy. - Yeah. - Ooh, what are you doing with that? - Yeah. - Did you try? Did you make moves? - I sent her flowers. - Oh! - He's a sweet young boy. - Oh! - Sweet boy, and I liked that for you. Where'd you meet her if you don't mind me as a-- - Ooh! - On the apps or something? - A mutual friend. - Yeah, yeah. - A mutual friend. But she already had a kid. - She had two kids. - Two kids? What are you doing? - She's 72. (laughing) - Did you make them? That's the move you made is you sent flowers. - Well, she was sick, so I was like, "Oh, and you don't want to be sweet and send her flowers." - And you sent her like soup too, right? Or food? - Couple of cans of soup. Did you make the kids? We're on FaceTime one time. Did you go out on a date with her? - Not yet. - Not yet. - Oh, what the-- - What are you doing? - Nothing! - What do you mean? - You just liked her. - You met her in person? - Yeah, we met in person, but like coffee, but not like a dinner date. - Oh, I thought you guys were like legit dating. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah, she faced-- Oh, I told you right. - She didn't want to choose FaceTime, me, me. - Yeah. - And her kid popped up in the screen, and the kid is like, "Papa." (laughing) - Oh, not yet. - And what'd you say? - In your banger? - Would I marry her? - No, in your banger? - No. - No, yeah. - Kiss her off. - Kissed her off. - You kissed her off a date. - Coffee, yeah. - Did you kiss her? - On the cheek. - On the cheek. - Oh, the cheek. - This guy's a gentleman. - You are a gentleman. - I have to say it. Kind of flowers. Rose, look at Kuala. - She wasn't there. - I don't know. - Peanuts. - No, no, no, the white ones. - Orkids. - Daisy. - Daisy. - Daisy. - Daisy? You can order daisies. - I don't know. - You can order daisies. (laughing) - Orkids. - Orkids. - You sent her an orchid. - Yeah, yeah. - That's nice. - Just one? - No. - That's what you said. - A whole. - A whole. - With moss and everything. - Yeah, the whole dozen. - A dozen. - A dozen? Orkids doesn't exist. - That's a lot of work. - Well, it's some flowers, it was like, it was a sunflower seed. - It's a sunflower seed. - It was a sunflower seed. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. Ranch style. (laughing) - It was an orchid. - It was a bag of Dave's killer bread. (laughing) - Did you go pick them up or did you order them online? - I ordered them. I got them delivered. - I got them sent over there. So you guys were talking, went out coffee, talked to the kid on FaceTime. She wasn't feeling well. He sent us some flowers. - Yeah. - Very nice. I got back on the road and I was like, hey, did they get some dinner and then she's like, hey, I think we should just be friends. I don't want to seem like I'm interested in you. - You go get to suit back. - Oh, Jesus. - Yeah, I would have fucking marched over and never heard. - Let them injure her again. - I'm with Bobby on this one. - You can, friend zone? - Fuck you. - You're talking about, you're right in a closing ass out there on a road? - Yeah, you know what that means, but that's true. - Yeah, you know what that means. - Yeah, yeah. - But like, he knows what that means. - Some people are openers, some people are closers. He's neither. - That's it. (laughing) - We're gonna be working for this kid one day. - But do you know that Jaime wouldn't, he says that he would never even get with a sex worker. - Yeah. - Ever ever. - Oh yeah, can't. - Yeah. - Why? - 'Cause I have to have a connection with her. - Oh, you wouldn't have. - Not just your connection though. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But you also said you don't want to have to tell your wife one day, is that what you said on my pod? - You'd have to have a connection with her. - What do you mean? - Like, I have to feel her. - They can get toke. (laughing) - She doesn't have to feel her, like, I have to feel her love. - You can't do that with somebody you just met. - Real one nightstand. - Huh. - Really? - You can't do one nightstands. - Why? - And won't work. - Good guy. - What? - What won't work? - You won't get hard. - Oh, your penis won't work. - Yeah. - You gotta lay off the coke. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, do you get hard easy? - Me? - Yeah. (laughing) - So easy. - I didn't for a while, but the blood's coming back. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - How about you? - Yeah. - Okay. - Like a lot. - Pretty easy. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What about you? - Pretty good. - Yeah. - Well, you know, pretty good. - Don't I? - All right. - Have you noticed a throttle back as you've gotten older? (laughing) - A throttle back. - A throttle back. (laughing) - I like that term. That happened to me, but it's coming back. - No. - Um, I find it to be very potent as of late. - That's good. - Yeah, yeah. - Your erections are your love. - Love. - Well, I don't watch the porn anymore. - Really? - So I, you know, I mean, the-- - Lear mine. - Yeah, the gun is loaded. - Wow. - Yeah, yeah. And when it releases, my god, it's like-- - Look at it. - It's like a shotgun spread, you know what I mean? (laughing) - Spreads all over the place, you know what I mean? Trying to inspire work. - What? - Nothing. - What? (laughing) - Yeah, it's like Chinese fireworks, yeah. - It's like, you know, when you pee and your whole is clogged up by some calm, and then, you know what I mean, you spray it. - It goes two different ways. - Did that still happen to you? - Yeah. - Okay. - What do you like to say? - I'm not actually gonna mess you this question. - Kevin's a sporter. - Yeah. - Yeah. - When he comes and shits. (laughing) - I told you that and bribe it. (laughing) That's what the fight was about. I shit all over my bed. (laughing) - Yeah. Well, I, um, have you ever done this? I did this last couple weeks ago. - Yes. - I, once I, I stuck it in, I farted. - What the fuck? - What? - I don't think I got it. - And that ever happened? - Involuntarily. - No, it was an purpose thing. - Oh, okay. - No, but it would, it would, we laughed so hard. Did it smell? No, but it was like a cute one too. - And we went, I went slow. - I went, I went, oh, quick one. - Yeah, yeah. And then we both died laughing historically. - Sounds like a nice roll. (laughing) - Someone's, someone's getting friends in. (laughing) - I send her some daisies or kids. - Well, it is nice that you have that where you can laugh. That's that is-- - I laugh every time, baby. - That's a funny that is that you can laugh with her. It's very funny. - You don't have laughs? - No, I'm, yes, I do, I'm saying that's a good thing. - Yeah, I get it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not accusing you of anything. - I don't know, you did. You said that was an accusation. - Yeah. - You don't have any good time? - Yeah. - I mean, do you have laughs with your guy? - Of course. - Yeah, good. - Followed you have laughs with your guy? (laughs) - I do. - Oh, but you go? - Yeah, I'm more shy. Like, my wife won't care. She's like just fart, but I had to like leave the room. - Still, you're married? 'Cause I feel bad for her. That's good. - I'm just saying, I feel bad for her. - I can't fart in front of significant others ever. - Ever. - Yeah, it's not well, fucking. - Ever, you've never heard me fart. - Have you be honest? - Have you-- - If I accident, if I'm in the bathroom and you barge in, maybe-- - You have a little bongo coconut fart. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Yeah, yeah, that's you dude. No, I've never heard it seen your fart. - Yeah. - You've never seen me fart? - I've cleaned your shit, dude. - Whoa, all right, dude. - I'll move to toilet. - In the back of the car. - No, like, he used to shit his pants for fun and I have-- - I got it. - Yeah, yeah. - Old school dogs. - Fun, yeah. - The Prius, right? - Yeah, the Prius. - Yeah, like in public, he would just like randomly, his bowels would just give out and there would have to be some cleaning involved afterwards. And he would be too embarrassed to do it himself. - Don't have a baby, you have a baby. - Why? 'Cause you can't have two of you shit. Yeah, we can go in together, holding hands. You would do that on purpose, like, as a bit. - What do you mean? - Shitting yourself. - No, his bowels would just give out without-- - No, no, no, no. - You want to get into my medical situation, I'll tell you. - Do you have something? - Yeah. - What do you got? - I'm lactose intolerant. - Black, toast, and I get buffalo mozzarella cheese. It's over. - Really? - Game over, dude. - Wow. - You know what's the worst one is ricotta? You put some ricotta in me? Oh my god, it's a blood bath. - What about paratha? - Oh, blood bath. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah. - Benchengo? - Pretty good. - Pepper jam. - Yeah. - No, provolone. - No, it's a decent kind of cheese. - Cooper's sharp. - Oh, the hard cheese that you're okay with. - The hard cheese is nothing, Parmigiano Reggiano. - 'Cause it's raw. - You're fine. - I'm fine. - Yeah, it's raw. - It's the wet cheeses that really do it for me, not the cheese. - What? - Not the-- - No, that's fine, too. Not your cheese-- I don't know what it is about buffalo-- - Because of the milk, I bet. - The buffalo. - The buffalo mozzarella. - You a cheese guy? - Me now, that's so much. - No, no cheese. - I find that hard. - No cheese, no hooks. (laughing) - Fascinating man. - Yeah. - He doesn't, in fact, he's not a complex eater, like-- - You wanna be chicken finger guy? - Chicken tender. - Yeah. - Oh, sorry, an aristocrat. - What's your background? - I'm Mexican. - What'd you get to make from my parents? - He sounded like a Jewish lawyer. - I do. - The name? - No, Jaime, that's how they put it out Spanish. - Jaime, it's like Jamie. - Jamie. - Oh, okay. - Your mom cooked it up? - She did good? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So fine, everything. - Like he, like sushi? - Yeah. - Are you good sushi? - What do you mean, am I good with it? - I'm good to eat it. - You ever been a sea world? (laughing) - I'm good with it. - Yeah, I mean, do you eat sushi? - Fuck yeah. - Do you eat sushi? - No. - I'm a picky eater. I'll try most stuff though. - Oh, you will. - I'll try it. I'll try everything once, but I just, it doesn't connect. - Really? So if we went, Kevin Ryan's in town, and I go, let's go with some sushi. - Kevin Ryan's in town? - What? - Couple of big meetings right now. - Yeah. - But would you get sushi with me? - No, I'll probably not. - We want the noble one time. - Oh, you don't like it? - He's fucking freaking out. I'm gonna give him the fucking apple juice. - I had a bad shot him up, but my ear muffs aren't. (laughing) - Yeah. What's your go-to, like meat and potatoes? - I like a nice chicken parmesan. - That's high-may eating sushi for the first time. - What was it? - What exactly was it? - It was a cow. - It was a California roll. - No, it wasn't. And then he started gagging. - It was eel. - I'm with you on the eel. That takes a minute. - Yeah, that takes a minute. - That's the best. - It's my best friend. - You're yelling at him. (laughing) - I feel like sushi is remarkably gone downhill. - Oh, you think so? - On a mass scale. - Wow. - Yeah. - And you know what? I don't really fuck with it lately either. - Why not? - I don't know. You know what I had the other day that fucked me up too, which I will never have again? Ramen. - From where? - What the fuck are you talking about? - I'm talking about ramen. - You're talking about ramen. - No. I had Sukam and Ramen. - Why? - What do you mean you're not gonna have it again? - Have you heard of Sukam and Ramen? - Yeah. - Where is Sukam and Ramen? - That's when you're Sukam and guys dick. (laughing) - I'm an idiot. - What is it? - Well, you know what? You're toned right now? (laughing) You know what I mean? - I don't like to hear you say that. - What? - You're not gonna have ramen anymore. - Yeah, yeah. - This particular style of ramen. - You wanna invest or her in it? - Yeah, yeah. I know that. - You can, they take your eyes away, wouldn't they? (laughing) - Put Kevin's on ya. - Yeah, I was with some friends and we had Sukam and Ramen. And I was so hungry. - But can you explain what that was? - Yeah, what is that? - I'm gonna tell you now, guys. - What's the base broth of like a-- - It's a lot denser. Sukam and-- - Okay. - It's in you dip the noodles into it, rather than-- - It comes in two bowls. - Okay. - One of them is condensed like broth, right? And then there's a side of noodles with a lime and some chasu pork. And you take the noodles, you dunk it into the broth and you eat it that way, right? It's more of an intense flavor. - Gotcha. - And we thought we all had Seminella. - Seminella. - Yeah, we immediately went to cold shivers, diarrhea. - Wow. - It was bad. - It happens. - It does. - It does happen. - That shit's cooking for like weeks, isn't it? Aren't they boiling that for a little time? - We get the flavor. - Yeah, it was so good. I mean, I never have it again. Like, you know-- - You'll be back. - You know putting pops? - Jello putting pops? - Yeah, the Bill Cosby kind. - Body sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's the biggest mistake America ever fucking made. - What, putting pops? - Getting rid of those. - But they did? - Yeah, they've been gone for a couple more than that. - And it's been all downhill from there. - But when I was a kid, I, when I got sick from it. - Really? - Yeah. - And I never, it was like, I dread them even to this day. - Really? - The thought of them. - Well, they're gone, you don't have to worry about it. - Okay, good. - That's probably why. They probably all recalled. - Yeah, no, they were great. I don't know what happened. We fucked up getting rid of those. It had like a thin ice layer around it. And the buttons on the bottom were so good. They were great. - Oh, kind of put the pops as you have. - I can pull it up here. - There's buttons on the bottom. - It's like it had like a little shelf of ice. - There he is. - Oh. - Yeah, he was a salesman. (laughing) - He was the guy. - Who was that, by the way? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Say what you want. He could move merchandise. Oh, back that he could, yeah. - Yeah. - His voice didn't put him. - Yeah, they're great. - I'll just look back. - You ever have those right? - I had the blue bell. - Hmm. - Well, blue bell. - Yeah, blue bell. - Gotcha. - What do you think of high-end ice cream shops? - High-end ice cream shops. - There's some new ones, like there's, you know, salt and straw. Have you heard of salt and straw? - No. We'll do like that. What's in New York? Like Morgan Steens, Van Lovyn. - Van Lovyn. - Van Lovyn. - Yeah. We'll do that. My wife is all over that shit. - Yeah, yeah. Van Lovyn's good. If you want, what? - I'm a Ben and Jerry's man. - I'm like a Maloney Alarm. - You know, Ben and Jerry Me too. - Ben and Jerry Garcia. - I do the tonight show, guy. - I think it's Chunky Monkey. - I think it's Chunky Chunky Monkey. - Chunky Monkey. - I think it's Chunky Chunky Chunky Dome. - I like that. - From Ben and Jerry. - Cherry Garcia. I didn't know that I had to say one. - Yeah. - That's one. - It's in my turn. - Or even Ben and Jerry, like Baskin Robbins. - Baskin Robbins. - Yeah, sure. - He has good handles. - Yeah, I love handles. - Me too. - Handles is great. They make it there. But here's the thing about handles. And there's a place called Kiwi. We're just redoing the same place every couple of years. It just changes over names. You know what I'm saying? - No. I look as slated to me. - It's the same fucking thing. - I like that. (laughing) - Same exact same person. - But for like five years, it's like handles, handles, handles. - Yeah. - And then that goes away. - They tank it, bankrupt. - Right. - Right. - But I think what you're saying about handles. - Can I defend handles real quick? - No, no, yeah. - Right. Handles, they make it there. - Everybody makes it there. - Baskin Robbins isn't make their ice cream there. - I'm talking about the frozen yogurt places. Not Baskin Robbins. - Why did you bring frozen yogurt when we're talking about ice cream? Handles is frozen yogurt. - I thought the handles was ice cream. - It's ice cream. - No, it's not. - There's a difference. - 16 handles and handles. - Oh fuck, I have no idea what I'm talking about. (laughing) Can I see your notebook? (laughing) - I thought you were talking about 16 candles. - The candles. - It's a nerve frozen yogurt. - It's a very indulgent rich ice cream school school. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'll look at this. - Yeah, what's that? - That's 16 handles. - Oh, there's a place, listen. - Ah, okay. - That's not his fault. There's a place handles and 16 handles. - I think you're right. - You know what? - We're not doing it. - Yeah, we're not. - By the way, what's up with your Joe's pizzas out here? - Is that, that's not good. - The fuck did you guys do it? - You don't think we're gonna go back and tell him? - Yeah, yeah. - What the fuck, they're fucking good. They're fucking, like the rich ones. - It's not, it's not connected. - They're separate though, right? They're not, it's not connected. - That's the fucking same thing, man. - That's funny, 'cause we're starting a podcast called Tiger Belly. - Yeah, but do you know what the Joe's-- - What are we on a fucking star maps bus? You don't think we know that? - We gotta park down front. - A hop on hop off. - Who's that pet, CJ? - Yeah, it's the water. - It's the water. - Yeah, which I don't know if that's really true. - Why is it better? - There's great pizza out here. I mean, maybe in the 50s it was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Where is Prince Street originally from? - New York, I think. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's the water. Lower East Side Prince Street. - Yeah. - Wow, I feel like it's a gift to LA. It is so good. - It's so good. - It's so good. - So good at Naughty Pie. Oh my God. - I don't like the honey though. - The hot honey? - That's everywhere now. - Yeah, I'm not with the honey. - I'm not with the honey. - I'm with the honey. - I'm not with the fucking honey. - What do we do? - Yeah, what do we do? - A little bit here and there, but it's like in fucking-- - Everywhere. - Yeah. - A pineapple, you're in the pineapple? - Do a Hawaiian, of course. - Yeah, I do. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Can I ask you something, guys? - Yeah, buddy. - We're talking about pizza right now. - I forgot, I forgot I was gonna have a pizza question. - Is this about money and pizza? (laughing) So money, we have it. - Yeah. - But pizza. - See? - You don't worry about that, bro, you got cash. - Oh yeah, right. - Killing it. - Pizza. - I wasn't doing it. - Okay, you guys love pizza? (laughing) That you guys, like, are you, like, big on pizza? - The school-newspaper. - We were talking about it for five minutes. - Okay, good. - Questions like a nervous informant who has a liar on them, is about to get found out. He's like, "Pizza, you like being like drugs?" (laughing) You guys do drugs? Where would you get your drugs? - I would like to buy four kilos, please. - It's almost as if he wasn't even in the room, he just pops in. (laughing) - And then he pops back out. - Big pizza, big pizza. - Are you listening to what we're saying? - No, you're not. - I am. - Don't listen to Bobby. Go ahead. - If I wasn't listening, I would've talked about something else. - Like what? - It's pizza. - Like what? - Like pineapples. - I just said pineapples. - Exactly. So, why why you switched the subject? - Say something else. Make 'em work again. - Pizza, pizza. - Okay, go ask for the quote. - Okay, you love pizza, right guys? - Yeah. - I'm going to cut that part here. - Can you say that again? - Can you slate before this and take it from the top? - Yeah. - Pizza is good, right guys? - Yeah. - What the fuck? Are you fucking with us? - No. - Okay, go say that again. - Okay. Okay, I was in New York a couple of days ago. Okay, and you're getting around. - Yeah. - What the fuck? - Okay, and for these flights, business. - There you go. - And I answered the exact same thing. - I was doing spots out there. - New York spots in New York. - Yeah. - Where were we at? - New York comedy club. - Shout out to it. - Shout out to it. - And Greenwich. - There you go. - There you go. - You love that. - You're killing it. - Get that here, move it in. - He's all right. - Two years in, Tiger Belly. - Look at him. - He likes pizza. - And I went. (laughing) - I passed by the comedy seller 'cause I can't get in yet, but I went to Joe's pizza, the one by the seller. - Sure. - Yep. - And I'm being. - Yeah. - So you're original. - Yeah. - Oh, it is? - Yeah. - Very good one. - And I mean, about pizza by myself, and I hear like a group of tourists, fucking tourists, am I right? - You're a tourist. (laughing) - Hey, I'm walking here. - You feel me? - I feel you, dog. - You feel me. - You don't gotta say no more. - What is that? - Am I a tourist in New York? I know where to go. - You're working there. You're not a tourist. - You're not a tourist. - I'm a fast-paced dude, so. - I don't believe that, but. (laughing) - You know, for real, when I'm walking, stop taking pictures of the Times Square, am I Joe's pizza, and I have big ears, I overhear everybody's conversations. - Does he work shopping sometimes? - I know. - I know where you're going. - And there's a group of people. - Are you making this up? - No, I'm for real. I'm about to ask a question. But so there's a group of people. - You can fucking mad with. (laughing) - They're like, tours, they're like, oh, this is the place that TikTok sent us, and Joe's pizza, and the girl in the group said, "Yeah, I love pepperonia cheese, but I wish they had more flavors. Is that the correct term, or should they say more top?" - That was a long way to get it. (laughing) - I do like, I do like the topic or discussion. - A long way to get it. - That woman is what you call a dumb brood. (laughing) Right, scream as flavors. - Yeah, yeah. - Different kind of slice. - Yeah. - But I pizza shop, it's more, I wish they had more toppings, right? - More toppings. - Different variety, I think you would say. - Sure. - That's fucking, you know, what you say. - Unrelated, but why does it say Harry Styles on your note, Cud? - Oh, he's a good guy. (laughing) - He's on the kidnap list next. - It says, "Hi, May Styles." He wants to marry him. - Harry Styles and hearts around it. - Yeah, that was somebody else. But yeah, when did I, like, - You got some choir off, but like the pizza toppings. - You okay, Bobby? - What the fuck is the question? - I thought we answered it, no. - Oh yeah, the answer is, I mean, is that the wrong thing to say? - Yeah, like, oh. - Yeah, no, you would say, you would say top. - You would say toppings, I think, yeah. - That's why I told you. - You don't want to do that shit, though. You don't want that crap. - You fucking comedian New Yorker and L.A. - You could do a slice of pepperoni, slice of cheese, you get out of there. - Yeah, but I told her and like, hey, that's the wrong term. You should say toppings. - Wait, wait, you interjected these strangers? - Yes, because like, he's got to set these broad frames. - What if she goes back and she's like, "I wish they had more flavors." Like, that's not a flavor. - To me, to my mind, I wouldn't even like care. - I would do care. - Because it's fucking correct there. - Yeah, but it's like, it doesn't matter. - I'm like, you're correct in the other time. - What? - Yeah, you're correct in the other time. - You got on this, 'cause this is being out showing all over the place. - Do you want to correct somebody in person? - No, I'm not gonna interject like, hey, by the way, it's not fucking flavor, it's toppings. - I didn't say like that. - How'd you say that? - Excuse me, you meant to say toppings. (laughing) - That's fucking crazy. - I really liked it. - I know this. - It's crazy, I love this. - Did she say, do you work here? - No, she's like, who are you? (laughing) Just, I just have, - You don't run by me. (laughing) - You don't run by me? - Wow. - Okay, here. - Go for you. - Here's another question. - Go ahead. - I don't know the whole story. - Can you cut to the chase and also let me cut the story. - Cut the story. - No, I have to hear the story. - All right, go through this. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're at Panda. - Go to the trilogy. (laughing) - All three godfathers, let's do it. - Okay. I'm at Panda Express with my friend. (laughing) - Here we go. - We're eating. - Is this in New York? - No, it's in Glendale. - Okay. - And is this directed to me then? Because it's Panda Express? - No, it's about us. - It's about us. - It's eating, it's about us. - Okay. - No, it's not about eating. It's about, it actually doesn't take place at first. - Okay, go back to, go back. - Panda Express. - I don't know. - Everywhere, not just in New York. - I got you. - Panda Express in Glendale. - I wasn't saying, you said you were in New York. - Wait, wait, wait. - I thought you got Panda Express out there. (laughing) - Wait, yeah, Panda Express in Glendale. - I was at the Glendale Mall. - Okay, what were you getting at the mall? - Mm-hmm. - What were you getting at the mall? - Eight shirts. - Eight shirts. - Eight. (laughing) - And then, me and my friend, we get an argument because I totally, yesterday at the hotel, I was watching Cable TV because that's all they have, Cable TV. And I was watching the first 48, and she's like, don't you mean streaming? I said, no, they were airing because there's a difference between streaming and airing, right? - Yes. - That's it. - She was like, no, you were streaming it and you were like, no, they were airing it. - They were airing it because it was at APM. - Again, I don't know if that's something that you would correct. - I don't think it would bother me enough to go. - Okay, but streaming is, technically you're running it. - Yes, right? You're technically running it. - Right then, there was nothing streaming. - Yeah. - All the new movies coming out at APM, it's airing at APM. - Yeah, you wouldn't say streaming, for the exact time. - But these new age people, these new age people, they're all streaming. - New age or just younger generation? - Younger. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, do you know what it is? It's these, you have thoughts, right? It's like, we all have thoughts. - Sure. - These small little thoughts, thoughts, a pop-up, right? But we don't take the thoughts, bring it down and say it out loud. - Who's wearing that getting laid? - I do. - I listen. I do think that's a. - That's a guy. - Okay, but like, you just told me there's a difference between. - Yeah, there's a difference between. - You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. - You're really right. - You're right. - Yeah, you're right. - Bar casting. - Don't die on those hills. (laughter) - You know what I mean? - Yeah, but like. - You got more point, shit going on. - I know, dude. - I don't think he does. I saw the notebook. - He doesn't believe me. - Yeah, yeah. - Why doesn't believe you? The people like, when I get an argument like this. - And who was the friend? Just a friend from Berbinc. - And why was it important that it was Panda Express? - Well, this is the thought. I think that's what I'm saying. I thought of, hey, isn't it wacky how we say airs, but it's really streams now? That is a thought. - Yeah, that is a thought. - That story does not need to start a Panda Express. - It does. - Okay, but. - It does, because I wouldn't be able to ask this. What'd you have? - Panda Express? - Nope. (laughter) - Obviously, I had Panda Express. - I had a beef and broccoli with fried rice. And that's spring egg rolls. - Just one entry? - No. - So what was going on? - Oh, it was a double beef and broccoli. How did you guys split the checker, how did you do that? - Is she a friend or would you like it to be more? - No, she's a comedian from here. - Oh, you mean sorry. - But I paid. - Do we know her? - You paid? - Good man. - Yeah. - Good man. - But still, she was arguing about like streaming versus broadcasting. - Okay. - And airing. - I got it. - I got it. - We got it. - Broadcasting? - Broadcasting, we got it. - Yeah. - Is there, do you go to Panda? - Uh, yeah. - What you're doing? - I have my go-to dish. - Yeah, I just do the orange chicken. I'm a, I'm a straight, I like a, I like a, yeah. - I agree. - Chinese baby. - Do you like the new spicy orange chicken that they have? - I don't think I've had it. Honestly, I, I know the orange chicken. I go, I don't even fucking queens. - Yeah. - I still, that-- - I put a knee hole while, whatever it's called. I think that's what it is. - Oh, I was talking about Panda. You, you, you guys have really good Chinese in New York. - Yeah. - So are you guys. - I'm sure you guys have it too. - Yeah, SUV. - This guy. - Yeah. - Some of the best Chinese I ever had was in Pacifica. - Yeah. - Rayman's. - Rayman's. - Really? - If you ever were in Pacifica. - Yeah. - And the rapture's not happening. - Yeah. - Go to Rayman's. (laughing) - What's up, place in San Francisco we go to? - Oh, it's San Tung's. - San Tung's, and you made a call for me, right? - Yeah. - And they give us a little-- - You have to stay, you have to be in line by 430. Like, fights break out at this place. - Yeah. - And you know, it's that good. - I'll never do that. - Yeah. - So, if you guys been to Panda Inn in California. - Panda Inn is the original Panda Express, but they just reopened. - They're high-end, fancy Panda Express. - And you know what, that's another mistake we made. There's a lot of those places close down. In the '90s, you go out to dinner with your Jewish friends, parents, you go to a nice Chinese sit down. They put the crispy noodles and the duck sauce and how mustard on the table. He had a great waiter. He had a drink with a fucking umbrella in it. He'd have stuff going around. The lazy Susan in the middle. - Oh, that's my favorite. - Yeah. - Oh, sit down Chinese. - Yeah. - You still have a good amount here in San Gabriel Valley. - On the East Coast, they're old. - And they're, you know, like the big halls? Like, they're right. really big wrestlers, we still have them here. - I love it. - They're so good. Like Boston Lobster and then Newport Seafood. - Newport Seafood's about it. - But Boston Lobster, so I think the chef, they had, they started beefing, so he left. He opened another place across the street called Boston. Lobster and it's the exact same menu. And it's just as good. - Wow. - It's huge too. - You know what I do, you wanna hear something? I would love to hear everything. - I get a, I get a wanton. And we have these big bowls. I get the wanton, put a couple of wanton in there. - I get salivating, I don't know, I get duck sauce and hot mustard and I put a packet of each in there. - What's duck sauce? - Mix it around. - Hot mustard, the whole thing. - Hot. - Put it in there. - What's hot mustard? - What's duck sauce? - What do you talk about? - Is it the plum sauce, like sweet? - No. - It's the orange stuff. - Okay. - Put that in there and then I put my egg, my shrimp roll in there. And I eat that with a spoon and let it soak in. - Wow. Is this what Chinese food after this? - We should. - You Chinese guy? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're Chinese? - What do you do? - Yeah. - Beef from broccoli? - Beef from broccoli, orange chicken. - Yeah, duck sauce. - I mean, I've been waiting for five minutes to tell you my dish, but. - Go ahead. - Oh yeah, that's right, I already know. - We built it up now and it's like what I say. - All right, it's already chicken. - I know, when I say it, they're gonna be like, okay, let's talk. - It's shocking. - Well, no, it's pretty shocking. - It's not shocking. - Fried noodles and lobster sauce. - No, no, no. - I don't do guessing game. It'll take forever. You'll never guess it. Why not? I'm talking about pan express specifically. - Wow, I know what it is, what is it? - A plan. - Yeah, that's one of them. - That's one of them. - What's the second? - Beijing beef. - Yes, what's the third? - There's a third? - Yeah. - Do you know the third? - I don't know the third. - I always thought it was either cashew or orange chicken. - No. - Kung pao. - Kung pao chicken. - Kung pao chicken. - Kung pao chicken. - Kung pao chicken. - But you got the fucking Bobby likes his chicken spicy? - That's the company wants spicy. - It's Georgia stands up. - That was racist, Bobby. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yet she knows. - She's gonna hurt back then and then I ain't fucking. - Still around, but. - No, yeah, but pizza hut that we can walk in and dine in with your family. - Yeah, I remember. - Yeah, yeah. - Same Jewish friends, eh? - Of course. - Jewish friends. - He's not Jewish. - He said Jewish? - No, when I would go out to dinner with my Jewish friends. - They're coming back. - Oh, the boy. - Wow. - I love the boy. - Yeah. - The old school is like Nistal just such a big thing. They're opening up all over the country. - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because the fucking crust on this is different. - Yeah, it's pan. - I know it's pan. - No, I know it's pan. - All right. - But if there's a butter. No, there's a butter. - The buttery, yeah. - Butteriness to the fucking crust. - Right, there's the buttery. - That's unlike anything else. Pizza hut. Yeah, it's a great old school place. Have you ever been to. - Mott 32. - No, that's what I was saying. - Mott 32. - That's where we went. Remember, there's only four of these in the world and one of them is in the Philippines. The Chinese, the duck place, where they like dance with a duck before. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Remember that? - Dancing duck. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love a dancing duck. - Yeah, which place are you talking about? - That's where I froze. - It's an old school pizza place. - Shakes? - No, X caliber, or it's something like that. - X caliber. - Yeah, caliber. What'd you guys do right before this hit? Right before what hit? Are you garbage? I thought you were talking about the drugs. We were, yeah, we were working comedians. You know, we were. - No, I mean, he was waiting tables. - Oh, waiting tables. And then hosting a New York comedy club. And doing little bit parts. And then he was working the road. - I was a steed. - Yeah. - Door dash. I was door dash when the podcast was like pretty popular still. - Wow. - And I was like, I would be getting recognized. - Why would you still do that? - You get the money, dude, 'cause you put it back in the money that day. - This is Bobby, 'cause the industry wasn't coming to fucking save us. - Yeah. - You're gonna put it back in. Kevin Ryan. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And this guy. - Yeah. - And Panda Express. - Yeah. - And his weird religion. (laughing) - And you're cousin. - And Bobby Lee. - Yeah, wow. - But it was like I had the door in the pandemic so I could wear the mask. And then like a lot of people, you're just dropping it at the door. So I didn't have to see a bunch of people. - Wow. - Just think if you were doing that, what you'd be doing. Fucking rubbing your balls on people's french fries and shit. - And what you're in there, you're hungry, and you're trying with someone's McDonald. It's like, takes everything that not fucking open it up and start eating. - Really? - Oh my god, as a fat, I'm a fat ass, yeah. - Yeah. - Wow. - You're just starving. - You're gonna be fine. - Now, sorry, it's very much sealed. - Here's where I would go wrong. I would deliver a food to a house. And they didn't tip me well. I would know that. - Of course. - So the next time I get that address, then I would do something. - Roaches. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'll give you one shot. - That's it. - Yeah, yeah. - I wouldn't-- - One opportunity. - Yeah. I mean, because when people tip, you know you've been in the service industry. - Sure. - It's inferior. - Of course. - Yeah. - Is it not? - It is. You know. There was times when I couldn't tip well and now we're making-- I make up for lost time and I tip. - Yeah, that's what I've been doing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But even back in the day, I always did 15. I'll leave something. - I'll leave something. - Taking his roaches. - Yeah, yeah. - I always did 15. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - At least. - Would you want 15%? - Yeah. - That's not tipping well. Back when I was poor. - Oh my god, damn, man. I'm just making sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 20, 30? - Well over, sometimes 50. - Really? - Yeah, you do. Bobby Lee. - He's doing this to you picking this up? - Yeah. - He does this weird thing if the service is really bad, that he tips over 100%. - Don't let him know. - Don't tell me. - Or why? - That's the rich man's roaches. - I like that. - Well, what's your motivation? - Well, guess it. No, guess it. Because he's going to get the guy fired as soon as he gets home. - No, no, no. - Guess what the person would be. - I don't know. That's kind of a mind-fuck. - It's like a fuck you. - Because they kind of know they're not doing well. They know they didn't deserve that. - Yes. - So they're going fuck. Does it make them think like I was kind of a dick? And I don't know. - It's this. - I like it though. - If they don't know who I am, people think I won't. - What? - Chip. - I don't think visually I look like a tipper. - What do you mean? Because I just the way I am is. - I've never agreed with anything more. - I do have to say. - I think that they assume all this guy has no money. It's not going to tip. - But not because of your ethnic candy cap. You mean just. (laughing) - Not because you're Asian. - No, it's not the Korean part. - Yeah. - It's just the way I am. - Played back a rack. - Yeah, also I think that. Is that a thing where Asians aren't good tippers? - Not at all. - All right, all right. - Yeah, and in fact, like. - Give me some races that aren't. You have races in your head that won't tip. - Mm-hmm. - What are we doing? - We always sit out loud. This is like the water in the pizza. (laughing) - Yeah, and that's not true either. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - But yeah, but. - Racism is what that is. - The reason why I do it. - I was talking about Italians. - Yeah. The reason why I do it is because I usually do it in this circumstance if I know I'm going to be back there. Right, so I'll give them like a hundred percent and go next time. Treat me better. - You say that to them? - No. - No, but that's it. - That's it bird. - In the tip. - Because that's going to go around. Hey, Bobby gave a hundred percent tip. And that's going to go through the kitchen. So when you do come back in. - I don't know. I don't even know if that happens. - I got it. - Or they're going to be like you believe this idiot. I fucking stiffed him and he fucking hooked me up with a hundred. - Yeah. - Forgot to refill his iced tea. - Yeah, I you do that. It's more of me like you know what? You're a jerk. But you know what? Well, the jerks are just busy. - Jerks. - I mean, dude. Remember that guy, he took a fucking plate. - A bowl of like steaming hot, um, sundubu? - Yeah. - It threw it like a frisbee. - He like slid the bowl across to Bobby like this. - Yeah. - It's spilling over. I mean, it was just so rude. - Aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not how it's done. - Yeah. You know, I don't like that. - Now do you have a cap on what dollar that would be? Like, do you cap the hundred percent? Like, 300? - I think. - You're like, I'm not, you know. - Oh, that's it. - Like, what? - All right, it's 50%. - The most is hundreds. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So at a hundred, you'll do a hundred. - No, but this, our bill was only like 50-something and he tipped the guy a hundred bucks and he put a little smiley face on the receipt. - Yeah, that'll teach him. - I like that. - Yeah. - Well, they have to learn. How do people learn? - But that's not the excuse. You're excuse was actually quite sweeter. You said, like, I think he's having a really bad day. So I was like, okay. - That sweet soul. - Bobby. Yeah, he probably was having a bad day. - Yeah, he was an older man, remember? - Yeah. - And he just seemed really like this gruntled. Like, he hated his life. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was like, I was brutal. - Yeah. - Especially to the end of my career as a server. - Brutal. - You're a better pissed fucking angry. - Yeah. - Lazy shit. - Yeah. - What's the one question they would ask you that would send you over? - Can you stop eating my cheeseburger? (laughing) - Sarah, that's my appetizer. (laughing) - That fucking, people got a problem. Roaches in your coffee. - Yeah. - The one question they would ask me. - Like, for instance, I was like, well, what do you like here? What would you have? What do you think about? - Yeah, you must know what's good here. - Oh. - Got that all the time. - Oh, that's terrible. - Yeah. - What would you say? - Nothing. - Really? - Mm-hmm. - Would you give us a scowl? - Mm-hmm. - Ro. - Ro. - I'll be right back with your cheeseburger, sir. - That's even better. You know what you just said that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know what they got with it? (laughs) - I never did anything like that. - Yeah. - No, it's not that. People are just, people just think they're, you know, they're on their own head. Europeans are brutal, you know? - Oh, they are. - Yeah. - But they just don't know. - Yeah, I see. - Yeah, they don't tip. - Australia don't, you don't. - Well, Australia is not a tipping culture 'cause they pay their servers like $30 or more an hour. - Mm-hmm. - I know what you're talking about. - You're not about that. I get that. That's why we do it in America to supplement their income. their income. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't to make a fucking gesture. - Yeah, I think so. - And when you come over here, they fucking though. - They fucking though. - I gotta push, we've had this kind of, I have to push back, my wife is German and her mom was like, why do we have to tip? I'm like, that guy's making like two dollars an hour. And then she was like, that should be illegal. I'm like, yeah, no, everybody's kind of agrees on that. So the second she, they had no idea. 'Cause to them, their servers get $15, $20 an hour. - Yeah. - So it's like you just tip a dollar away. - They know, they know. - Yeah, is there a pamphlet? They know. - You come to America, like these are the rules. - This is a tipping nation. - Yeah, we're a tipping nation. - At this point, they should, I like, they should know, you know. - They know. - I got streaming. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They should know, they should know. - They do it on purpose, 'cause we're gonna be back and they don't give a fuck. - I think they know, they should tip. I don't think they know why they should tip. They're not aware that the way to somebody brought you so I was over in fucking Paris. I was breaking all fucking, - But you come back to everybody. - But it's every culture. - So it makes sense. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do they appreciate it a bit or no? - Awesome. - Yeah, yeah. - A lot of things you gotta do when you go to France is attempt to speak French. Okay, walk up to them, don't say, "Hey, where's your Burger King?" Paulie Vu Françaix, or Paulie Vu Inglie. See if you'll play. - Paulie, Paulie. - So you gotta say. - Right. - And they love it. And if they don't speak French, don't figure it out. If they do speak French, they'll fucking go to bat for you. I just, I had this lady at the fucking Eiffel Tower. I did that. She walked us all the way up. - Wow. - Howdy, too. - Ain't done. - Yeah. - But I'm gonna take a French class if I ever go to France. - I'd love to speak French. - Bradley Cooper speaks French. - Yeah, I know, he's so good. - Did I do that fucking guy? - That guy. - Good luck, guys. - I hung out with him one day at the restaurant that I worked at. - No. - Yeah. - Nice. - Sweetheart. - Yeah. - Yeah, he grew up in a town, a couple of towns over. - Wow. - Into the private school in our area. - Wow. - The one thing he did say to me is we're about the same age and he knew kids in our school would get recruited. That we're really gonna lacrosse when he get recruited to like these private schools in Philly. And that was his kid Kurt Mueller, shout out to him. That wasn't our school that went there and he remembered him. I was like, "Yeah, we played the cross together." And I was about this size. And Bradley Cooper went like this. - You used to play the cross? (laughing) - Really? - Yeah. - Wow. - Yes. - Do you remember your no? - No. - Yeah, yeah. - But now you guys though, you guys are now in the stratosphere of you're getting some big people. - Yeah. - Yeah, Lee. - Well, we're trying to expand a little more. I mean, we've had a lot of the big comedians. There's a couple we haven't had that we would like. - Yeah. - So, you guys, it's one of the best podcasts in the world. It's called Are You Garbage? - Thank you. - Thanks. - We love them. They're family to us. - We love you. - Yeah, you've had Gary V. Jordan Jensen. - Is he a good guy? - Kumel Nunjani. Dude, you're getting the big ones, dude. - Yeah. - There's Gerbys. Huge is dude. - Yeah. - Wow. - We're expanding out doing more, you know, trying to get more music, you know, just more other people. But like not everybody's good at podcasting as you know that, right? - Yeah, yeah. - So it's like we're trying to, we're trying to see how fat I was in that one at the top, the credit card for all right there. - Yeah. - That was a big boy. He was saying that I wasn't fat. - No, yeah, you're pretty fat. Trying to get some muppets. We're trying to get muppets. - Oh, muppets is good. - Yeah. - Is that your new studio? - Yeah. - You've been there, I haven't been there, I haven't been there. - You don't call, you don't take. - I haven't been in New York since the last time I saw you. - The kids have been there. - Who? - Oh, yeah, I know. - I know, it's been a long time. - Yeah, I'm gonna go. - You haven't been in New York? - I don't like it there. - What are you talking about? - I don't like it. - I like it. - Yeah, it's not my city. - That's kind of nothing to do with it, whether you like it or not. - I've never hooked up with a girl in New York. - I don't think that's what it is, I don't think they like me. - Yeah, I was walking down the street with this guy, and we were going to go watch the Avengers movie. - I think you won. - Avengers 2. - Age of Ultron. - Age of Ultron. - Wow, you're really quick. - James Spader did that voice so well. - And this model came up to my friend and got. - Model. - Supermodel. - Supermodel. - And we would know her? - No. But she was looked like it. - Uh-huh. - So she's not. - Oh. - That was supermodel. - She looks like it. - Hot chick. - I'm with you on this one. - Everywhere in New York. - Let me start the story over. - Go ahead. - A really hot chick. - Uh-huh. - If I go up to feel better? - Yeah. - Okay. - And she walked up to my friend and goes, "Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I think you're hot. You want to fuck?" - No way. - I swear to God. - So he was like a super-good-looking guy. - Yeah, and my buddy goes, "See you later, so I watch Avengers alone." - Ooh. - Ooh. - I've never gotten. Back to New York, either, if that was the case. - Have you ever gotten like a freebie like that? - No. - Have you ever gotten a freebie? - Not like that. - What's a freebie? - A freebie is, you don't even know their name. - You, you got one. - Okay. - I'll tell you how you got one. Remember, she was like, "My car broke down. Can I go home with you?" - Jesus. - Oh yeah. - And hold me for a name, if you remember. - I do remember. - And she lived with you for like two weeks. - That's right. - How did he? - He checked up. - It happened to me. - She was really on. - Yeah. - Or you forgot about her. That's a lottery. - And you weren't even working at this time? - I wasn't even working good. I was just like a car back. You know? - Good for you. - No. - No, you're right. I forgot about that. That was a fucking-- - But then, it's all backfired 'cause what happened was he eventually fell in love, and then he realized, remember, one of your friends was like, "Hey dude, that girl you're with. Don't bring her to the club anymore." - And I go, "Why?" Because that guy had a girlfriend. So I was just going, "Why, dude?" He goes, "I'm bringing my girlfriend to the club." I go, "What does it matter if you bring your girlfriend?" I can't bring the girl I'm saying. He goes, "I'm fucking her too, dude." - Oh. - Oh. - And then I turned to her after the call. I go, "Are you having sex with so-and-so?" And she goes, "Yeah." - How many cars do you have? - And I go, "Who else?" And it was just like, you know, the Dead Sea Scrolls. (laughter) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - But that's still a freebie. - That's still a freebie. - It's still a freebie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a freebie for everybody though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like, I want a freebie for me. - Potluck. - Yeah, yeah, it was a potluck freebie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But she was very, very beautiful. I remember that. I completely forgot about her. - See? - Thanks for bringing that. - You're right. - There was another one there. - I'll give you another one then. - That happened. - She was beautiful, but she had no morals. You know what? - It was his way of trying to slam me. - No, it wasn't. - But it came off so poor. - Because of the porn. - Because it was sex. - Yeah. - Yeah? - Are you a religious man? - No. - Okay. - You just think there's got to be a deep connection. - Yes. - So I was at a coffee being. - Okay. - With my friend Ahmed. - We have enough of this with him. - Yeah. - The pain they expressed. - Go ahead. - You should go back to New York. (laughter) - I thought he was saying it defaultly. - Forget the story. - No, no, stop. Come on, how many times have you-- (laughter) - No, I interrupted you too. - All right, but I interrupted you too. - How many times are you gonna interrupt me? - When I was over there, I-- - You were saying something positive. You should go back to New York. - I'm telling the story. - New York? - Go to New York. - I think you should do Broadway. - You go to New York. - I am. - I'm not doing Broadway. - Yeah, yeah. - How many times? - Wait. - Wait, can I just say something? - Yeah, go ahead. You're not gonna do it anyway. - I was in New York, right? - Oh my god. - This better be good, dude. - This better be good. - It's not going to be good. - I ran the Manhattan Bridge twice. - Wow. - That's pretty good. That's pretty good. And I walked it at 12 a.m. Which was dangerous. - But check, walked up to him. - Yeah. - It was a homeless lady. - Yeah? - Yeah. She was chasing me. - That's why you were running? Not that-- - No. - Okay. - I run it three times. - I was six with a homeless lady. - And everybody said home. - Huh? - He was saying he walked across the road. - It was 12 a.m. Okay. It was 12 a.m. - What are you doing on a bridge at 12 a.m. - Yeah. - Taking pictures of the skyline. - Oh yeah, he's a photographer. - He's a photographer. - Okay. - All right. You're doing your art. I'm sorry. - What are you saying? - And Williamsburg. - You were Ralph? - No, just me. I was saying I was not a comic. - Nice. - Shout out to Julio Diaz. - Ah, what are you doing? Diaz. - So Kib, you've never had-- - Not like that. No. I mean, I never had the body type where a woman would just be like, "Let's go back to your place." So, yeah. And now that I have some sort of notoriety, I'm married. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fantasized? No, probably not. Anyway, let's move on. - Oh, not really. (laughing) - No, my wife is like attractive. - She is. - So it's like very like-- - Nice lady. - Yeah. We had sex, and I was like, "I don't go anywhere ever. I'll bear." You know, is he crazy? - Oh, that's what I want to meet. I want to meet somewhere I'm like, "Okay, this is-- I don't go anywhere else." - Sure. - Well, I also just-- It was mostly like I wasn't going to get a girl hotter than her, so I was like, "Let me just-- Let me lock it in." - Oh, I see. - I see, I see. You don't think? - I don't know. - Yeah, you have like a kind of an Owen Wilson-y kind of-- - I love this podcast, by the way. - No, you do. You have a little kind of like quirky-ish-- - Okay. - Women love guys like you. - You're saying they got a weird nose. (laughing) - Fucked up voice. - Yeah. - No, yeah. Okay, that's a stretch, but I'll take it. - No, there's a little bit-- Do the face. - Oh. - Yeah, there we go, dude. - I see it, I see it, too. - I see it, too. I see it, too. Right, the little bit of the nose, right? Anyway, okay, yeah. - Yeah, but no real freebies. - Yeah. I don't even want to talk about coffee being one. - Come on. - It's not even funny. It's not even a good one, though. - Did you-- Is it a freebie? You hook up with a girl in the coffee? - It was a freebie. - It was a second freebie. - And a coffee being-- During the day, what? - Which one is the coffee being one? - I was with Amen. Amen. red shoes. The Velcro kind. Okay. And I was sitting across like like this. And this beautiful blonde comes into me and she goes, I like your shoes, I think from Japan. And I don't know, and I looked, I took it off. No, but I am. And there was like some Japanese riding. And she goes, yeah, those are the sun sun sun. She like knew the shale. And then she goes, hey, you're cute. And I go, oh, thank you. You're very beautiful. She goes, and she goes, come over tonight and hang out. She gave me her address. This is a white lady. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. And I went over there. And oh, my God. Praise the Lord. She stole my shoes. Jesus Christ. What? You hooked up her? Yeah, she stole my shoes. Yeah. No, no, no, we did the whole thing. The whole thing. Yeah, the whole Shabban. But that was my only second freebie in my life. And that was it. Yeah. Wasn't there another white girl who was like obsessed with like kung fu? I fetishized you a little bit. Yeah, she fetishized you absolutely fetishized you. I've had a couple of girls that were obsessed with kung fu though. You break this board before we have where I went to the house. You had bamboo and like a like a enter the dragon. That's a little weird. Yeah, yeah. Is this lady the lady in the coffee bean? No, who you were? No, this is pre-fame. Really? Yeah, it was pre-fame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was still on Matt TV. Yeah, okay. That's pretty famous. What? You're famous. That's not famous. Yes, it is. That's not famous. Okay, anyway, it's talking about anyone you want to promote you want to promote something? Yeah, we're on the road to back on the block tour. All tickets available are available at rgarbers.com. We each to stand up and then we close out playing AYG with the crowd. We got a special documentary we did. Route 66. Tour bus, the whole crew, we did like I think it was like 10 cities and 10 days type deal kind of good and that's all up on used to for free. Yeah, yeah. All right, give them a