Are Men Becoming More Accountable? with Dale Moss

Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, "Where they funnier was I just funny?" - It was at the martinis. - Yeah. - I think you were funny. - Oh! - Oh, okay. - Damn. (laughs) (upbeat music) - This podcast is a dear media production. - Hi guys. - Hi guys. - Welcome back to another episode of "Girls Gotta Eat." - August 3rd, July is over. We had a legendary run. - It's my favorite month of my life. It's my favorite month. I just, I can't believe it. (laughs) We did a lot. We were recapping the month. We were like, "We did the most." Never had a July like that. But we have Dale Moss today, Reina's new man. - No, we were talking about Reina's. - All Reina, Reina, you guys had a moment. I don't know, I thought it was very funny. I'm so rooting for you guys. - He could be the third in your couple. - And say the thing to say. - I think it's a respectful thing to say. - I think him and Shashank could have a great time together. - Oh my God. Anyway, we are glad to have him back for you guys. You've been requesting it for years. So we have Dale today. - We answered the burning question of, was it a date? - Shashank, I love you. - So much disrespect. - I actually said he did a day. I have something so nice to say about Shashank. People are gonna be like, "Why didn't he succumb now?" - Well, I'm sad, girlie pop. So yeah, I'm just saying what we talk about, do we? All right. Well, or think of her as okay right and do right. Thank you to BetterHelp, see reviews and decide if it's right for you at BetterHelp.com/GGE. And article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/GGE. - And thank you to Butcherbox. Get $20 off your first box and free shipping plus your choice of ground beef, chicken, or sirloins in every box at butcherbox.com/GGE. And thank you to Zeni. Get 15% off at zeni.com/podcast with code podcast15. And quince, get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com/GGE and app exclusive offers when you download the app. - Ooh. - So yes, as August starts, I look back on the best month in my life. I'm July, which I just, we went to do a beach with our annual trip. This was very early in the year for us. We typically go like late August. And I didn't really any plans for July as of early June. We, I think we planned our trips like mid-June. Yeah, I think early days we would go to doing July, but then I really just started to prefer August. And it's always great. You know, I love a September, I love June. I was there for Memorial Day weekend, but this was like, was a little early for us. And I think even some people in the town were surprised at what we surprised the town. This is the most when we see listeners of the show. And it's so special. As we love you guys all over, but it's just so fun to run into the girl's got to eat community in Dewey for eight years running now. And it's just so fun. And I mean, I saw a girl on the street and she was like, oh, you guys usually come in August. It was pretty funny. People know that we're not usually there. So we surprised everybody. We were there for my brother's birthday. And just that was the time that worked best for us to go. And it really was such a special trip. I was having a lot of feelings about it. So we invited some new people on the trip. First of all, Shashant came. He was the only guy on the trip. He was the honorary girl on the girl's trip. And we brought Megan, who was new. And some people who usually do come, didn't come. And I don't know, it was driving out Megan to meet you guys. And I was just thinking about like, you know, what we have sold women about their lives if they don't have children by a certain age or they don't get married by a certain age. And I feel that you and I speak about this a lot, but this was really representative of that to me where I just thought like, here is me. And one of my closest friends driving down to meet up with my best friend. And we're all going to like share this condo. And my life is so full. And I didn't need a ton of money to do this trip. I don't need a partner to do this trip. Just like this is the thing that matters to me the most in life. And I never thought I'd be like 40 sharing this like condo with like my best friend and her husband. And two of my other girlfriends were single. And I don't have kids. And like my life feels so full. And I've taken a different route than other people have taken or that society tells women to take. And it's just I had a real moment of like just gratitude for being able to do that. And having life not have turned out the way you thought it would when you were young, but it's like better. Oh my gosh, yeah. And I mean, yeah, I'm married, whatever. But like all my friends are single. (laughs) - Four, three. - Four, three. - And like I've taken all these trips with all these single girls. Like it's crazy and it feels so inspiring at this age. And you know, I'm a couple of years older usually. But everybody is still late 30s, early 40s. And the France trip, the Dewey trip, we went to this concert, which we'll talk about. Like it's me and a bunch of like a hot single ladies and I'm just like the married woman. And I'm like, this is pretty dope. You know, and I say to Shashank where I'm like, he's younger than me and all his friends, most of his friends are married and having kids. And I'm out here with like all my friends are single. I mean, we're always like running around New York. And of course, these are women that I've chosen to surround myself with in recent years, women that want to live life in a certain type of way. And of course, I have tons of friends that are married with kids too. But it has become like more apparent that I'm doing really fun, amazing things with women who are not tied down in any way and who are all living their best lives and are just like happy and hot and crushing it. - I mean, all of our friends are single. - And our other two friends that we were with, our friend Laura threw a pool party and our friend Lee came down and neither of them were with their husbands. I mean, while their husbands was back at their house, the other one was upstairs in the house, but like it was just us and all these girls and like no kids and your nephews came over, which was very cute. But I don't know, I just, we saved all the time. You can just choose a really, I guess, you know, quote, quote, alternative path in life with the norm and still this like really full, special, amazing life. And I'm never lonely for one minute. I'm not wanting for anything. I'm just, I felt really grateful and happy. - But you know, like the first friend that gets married in like your 20s and she's like, I'm the first one and then everybody's single and run around, why how is that me? - At 43. - I don't know. - Literally how, how is it really, I mean, I don't know how this happened. I mean, honestly, my friends have really all done me a solid. None of them are married, none of them have kids. I mean, and you married somebody who, just like, he is part of the curl group. I mean, most of our friends almost all of them are with people that I really like. Wait, Tyler. No, I'm kidding, I'm not kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding if we do, like, less to that, but. But like, I wouldn't invite them on a girl's trip. Like, I think there's this wide range of like partners. You have like, of male partners. You have the male partners that just kind of sit there and say nothing and they're just a piece of furniture in the room and I don't, I don't hate it, but I don't need it. And then you have like male partners that just need like, so much attention. And I definitely don't want that. That's gross. Why, you're in a group of girls and get to talk too much, mansplain, get it, like, speak out a turn. No. No, I don't, I just, I don't want that. I just, I don't need like, a extra piece of furniture in the room and I don't need somebody that wants a lot of attention. He's just like, right up the middle, he like speaks what's spoken to. He said something funny and goes back to his phone. Like, he's just happy to let you shine. I mean, let this be an example to all men. I think that's really the only person I want around me in a group that's somebody's true. And you guys are like dead ass when you're like, shush, shush, come. I'm like, what? Like you and Megan will be like, well, like, it'll be a three of us and someone will be like, I wish Shushank was here. I'm like, y'all, okay. I mean, it's so flattering. And he's just so chill and easy. He's the easiest person to be around and when he obviously contributes something to a conversation, it's valuable. And he just kind of chills and he gets along with everybody, but he does have a dewey personality that comes out. And dewey Shushank really came out on this trip and we were at the starboard one night and this singer and band. I love her name's Kristen and the band is Kristen and the noise, but she didn't have her whole band with her and she just had two members of the band. And this is someone I've been seeing and looking up to since I was 19 years old. I mean, younger probably. She's been playing in and around Delaware and dewey Beach for so long and she's just has the best voice. She's just such an icon and she has become a fan of our show. So the first time I realized she knew who we were, it was at this, I think it was a starboard staff party I was tacking along with Matt and I'm like, I can't believe it Kristen is like a fan of mine. Like, I'm a fan of yours. Like, it just is one of those crazy full circle moments. And so she's playing at the starboard Sunday night we go in and she's just like, girl's gonna eat in the house and she's just being so funny and then she came over and talked to Shushank and he was giving her requests and she was playing and at one point she was singing Lana's Morris that you ought to know and we were all like right up front and singing along. Shushank hands her his phone. - Not actually. - What are you doing? - No. - Shushank, that is the Kristen and the noise. What are you doing? - She grabs it. - She grabs it. And then she turns it around and is filming herself. We'll put this on the screen. It's also on my Instagram. And is like filming herself with all of us. Like she understood the assignment immediately. When I saw him hand Kristen his phone. I was like, "Sir?" And he knew they had like a moment. I just, I feel like I watched it in slow motion. I was like, "Everything I thought about you is wrong." Every single thing I thought you were so cool and gassy up and you dain't hand your phone to Kristen in the middle of this. Like, "What is about to happen? This is so crazy." He knew and she knew and we got this really fun video out of it. And of course, like, it's, you know, it's a casual chill vibe. I just like some. concert and you're just like bothering the performer. You know, like it really went off and we were talking to her and stuff like that. But people like he has like when he gets some drinks in him, he really does kind of become more outgoing and he'll like be dancing and like, you know, rocking out and it just was very fun. I feel like everyone's like, I really love Dewey Shashank. I'm like, yeah, I mean, we've had one night where he did pass out. It was the night we got engaged and he did have to go home early and pass out with his shoes on. But that was the only time that Dewey really defeated him. Hey, well, it was pretty good. I mean, it's the most defeated I've had been on a trip too, but it was just so special. And I feel like I owe you guys an explanation if you're curious how we do down there. So, so we were at the first night. We always go to the jam, which is live music. It's really fun. It's our first stop if you want to, you know, you can figure out where it is if you guys want to come stock us. But we're there and Megan, our friend, sees his guy with a shirt that says, I love mentally unstable women and she's like, you got to get a photo with this guy. And so he doesn't even turn around. I'm just like, I'm gonna take a photo with you. I take a photo of like my face with just his back and then he walks off, never to be seen again. And I'm kind of drunk and we're all just like, we should be posted right at hard launch. Obviously, that's not my boyfriend. Obviously, it's just a funny joke. And I posted it and all of you guys commented and I feel like I got some of you guys excited and I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much. I love that you're excited for me. That is not my man. He did, however, I will tell you guys, find me. He found me. He's slid into my day at DMs. He said, hey, that's me. He sent me a photo of himself wearing the shirt. He was like, why can't I see you again? I mean, they always find you. There's always a way. I'm sure someone sent it to him. Yes, that knows us. We have a large fan base in like the Philly, Delaware, DC area. So somebody just, he was wearing an Auburn hat, right? Auburn. Yeah, so somebody definitely just like sent it to him, but he was in my DMs quick. And listen, you guys, I did try to meet up with him and then he said he had to go back to work. And then if this guy is a girlfriend. Oh, God. Listen, anyone can have that shirt. It's just they sell it on the internet. I just thought you guys would obviously know it was a joke that I'm staying an extra assigned that says I love mentally unstable women, which I am. But it made me laugh really hard. I'm so sorry to break your heart, guys. Yeah, so we just wanted to set the record straight on that. But it really was such a great trip. I just something about it this time around. We just had such a good time. Everyone was like, this has just been the best. And everyone just felt really grateful. And we did this big boat trip with all our friends and family and mass friends for his birthday. And my nephews were on it. And it was just wonderful. So I was just feeling really a lot of gratitude on this last trip. I just I really felt it. I just felt really emotional about it. But this is the thing I value the most. More than Santa Pay, more than these other things. And I'm just glad to turn out this way. And I just would like to say that for the second year running, I am the Puntune boat flip cup champion. No one can beat me. I am a frack I at heart and no one can beat me. Yeah, I mean, I can't argue with that. Reyna, we play musical flip cup. It's so fun. We did it last year on my bachelor out on the same boat. We did it again this year in a Reyna one again. I think you are the right height. Yeah, I agree. You don't have to bend over as much. Like your eye to eye with that solo cup. I know. I'm just full of it. And your nephew Aaron was like, hold on my hand. Dancing with me, walking around. It's so cute. But like the music starts, you walk around dance around the table. It stops. You take your drink. You flip the cup. That's musical flip cup, obviously. But Reyna was kind of in charge of Aaron. I had like showed him how to flip the cup when it was FD and we had to fun time with it. That's on my Instagram as well, Ashes. But then Reyna was like walking around with him. And I was like, he's going to get some alcohol. Like I was like, I feel like no, I hope where I don't know how much you were really paying attention. I was like, there's no way Aaron doesn't get some high noon on this boat. I paid attention. I mean, I just, you know, I'm scared of your sister-in-law. I feel like she's the kind of person in the world, but I don't want to get her hurt on drama. I'm kidding. But there was a point where we were like joking. We were like, is this safe to do? He's my little black charm. I love him so much. Yeah, he was just sweetie. So it was really nice. And then after that, we, I came back to New York and I was there for a minute. And then we went to this concert. If you guys spotted us in Edmonton, Canada, which Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is a place I had never been, and we went to the Post Malone and Jelly Roll concert and Carter Faith was also on the bill. And this was a tour that they have been on, Post Malone is touring all over. And Jelly Roll did this North American run with him. So this was like close to the end. Like we were at like the third to last show. And we had a blast. I mean, they're both so talented. We just love them and had the best time. And a lot of people like I posted some of my Instagram links and photos and people were like, what the fuck were you guys doing at Edmonton? Why didn't you tell us that you were there? So sorry, we'll give you a heads up next time. And it's just, it's nice to see a place that we haven't been and we know we have lots of listeners in Canada. So maybe we'll come to a show. So Nayshoshank has family there, you know, he's been a number of times, but we had never been. And it was just, it was great. The concert was incredible. I can't recommend it enough. It's over now. That bill like Jelly Roll and Post Malone, but we're glad we got to see it. Yeah, it was amazing. Honestly. Well, you and I performed with Jelly Roll on stage at the goddamn cottage him in LA. So we actually have performed with him. But I've never seen Post Malone live. It was, he performs with no shoes. I was like, that is brave. He yeah, he is shoeless and yeah, Jelly Roll is so kind and wonderful and they're just both so talented. But Post Malone is up there, no shoes. At one point he poured a beer into his hat and drank it and then I think he was even like that didn't go as well as I thought he was going to go. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How do you sing and smoke sings? I mean, I love sings, but I couldn't do it. I think he's so talented. He can do whatever. He can be drinking. He can be drunk. He can be no shoes. He can be smoking a cigarette and he's still performing in situate like he can just pull it off. I mean, they both are. Carter Faith is incredible too and yeah, so sweet and she has an amazing voice and it was just an amazing concert and you know, we had a great time at Edmonton. We had steaks. Both nights we were there. That Alberta beef. Thank God. We ordered the same steak. Both nights. I was like, I need that steak. I love steak so much. There's something about it. It was better the second night too. Also, we learned how young Post Malone is and I did not realize, did you know he was that young? I think 31. Well, I guess when he first, he's 31 so we start his career 10 years, not 11 years ago. I didn't realize he was a child star when he first came out, but it was great. We loved it. It was. It was really fun. Again, I have never spent so much time with you in my whole life. It has been a lot. Well, I also had one more thing I wanted to announce. I know you guys always love to know what's going on with my body. I lost a toenail and I, it's rough. Realized his toenail was coming loose like a couple weeks ago. And it's like from running, which is like, how fucked up is that? You're trying to do something good for your body. I know. Be fit, be healthy and you lose a toenail, it's a runner's toe or whatever. So I had noticed that it was coming loose and I was at the point where I was like, it's about to fall off and I don't want to rip it off, whatever. So I went to my nail salon in New York. It's called Golden Tree. That's where I've always gone. I was excited to go back there and visit my own stomping grounds and I go in there and I'm like, going to get a pedicure. This was like before we left for Dewey. And I'm trying to talk to the nail tech about what we can do about the toenail. And it is tough to have that type of conversation with a language barrier. What are we going to do about this thing on my body? What type of surgery are we going to perform on an appendage when we really are not able to communicate? I mean, I think that they see this stuff every day, this has happened to me. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to just trust her. Sometimes you can communicate better that this was not really one of those times. I was like, I feel like we're not. She was saying glue and powder and I'm like, sounds great. And then I was like, I guess we're going to do it because she was trying to take it off. I was like, don't take it off. And I think she knew what was best. And so I was like, let's leave it. Let's just like patch it up. I was just being a pussy about it. So she mentions glue, she mentions powder, she goes to town, she does a powder dip, whatever she glues it back on. It looks perfect, right? I mean, you I saw it. It was the best of all 10 of them. Was the fake toenail or whatever the fuck she did. I'm like, she crushed it, like we go, we went that night, oh, we forgot to, we need to talk about Chicago. I want to mention Chicago. We went out to Chicago that night and the musical. And I'm like, this was perfectly done, you know, no notes. And what, a week later, I went for a run in Dewey, I ran to yoga and the second I got to the yoga studio and took off my sneakers, the toenail was loose again, lost the toenail, lost my toenail and plant. So anyone can like feel my pain on this. It is so brutal. And so then I just had to like take it off myself. Mm hmm. It's re-growing. You've got to start painting the skin. You can try to. I put a tip on it. I have the first time I put an acrylic nail on my toe. It was a real reckoning moment for myself. - It's a humbling experience losing a toenail. - Yeah. - It's starting to grow back. I'm not gonna paint my toe. It's just what it is. I'm just gonna embrace it. And so the middle toe on my left foot, it's just, it's there and it's bare. - It's bare and it's proud. - It's bare and it's bare. But anyway, so I just wanted to throw this in. That night, a jog by memory, we saw Mateo Lane in Chicago, the musical. He plays Billy Flynn. It was incredible. He's such a brilliant, incredible talent. And so we just wanted to mention that. But is he in it anymore? - No, I love the theme of this intro. We're just telling you guys about stuff you can't do anymore. And that's okay. - Oh no, but you can't lose a toenail. - He's such an amazing talent. I just, Chicago was my favorite musical. I don't really actually care about musical theater. That much to be honest, if you guys do, great. It's not typically what I spend my money on. He was so phenomenal. He did a short run, I think six weeks maybe. And I mean, we've just, we've known him for so long. We've watched him just ascend to a level of fame and greatness that's just been so phenomenal. I'm so proud of him. I just felt like I was gonna cry when I saw him come out. And he was saying how wonderful the crew was to work with. And if you guys have the opportunity to see Chicago, I mean, they're an interesting musical because they typically have, I forgot what he said. Stunt casting where they have like a famous person, like, you know, what do you live in? - What do I live in? - What do I live in? He just was so phenomenal. So that was my first time seeing Chicago. People have seen it multiple times. I understand why I really loved it. I didn't know too much about it. Like you've seen the movie. I haven't seen the movie. I didn't know that it was just really all song and dance and a really minimal set. And the focus is on the choreography and the singing. And so anyway, I just congrats to him. And sorry, you can't see him anymore. But again, like it's one of those musicals that they'll be. Someone you were really interested in seeing will probably star in it in your lifetime. That's how they do it. - He said he wants to do it again. And I also think I came home and watched Chicago 'cause I love the movie. - I'm obsessed. Okay, well, we are just gonna talk about our partners and then we will get into a Dale Moss. I am telling you guys about Zenny. So we love this. I wear glasses, Reyna sort it does. I never know what you're doing. - I wore them the other night to watch TV and I was like, "Oh, that's what stuff's supposed to look like. "This improves my life a lot." So if you wear glasses or sunglasses, you might know how it is. You don't wanna replace them until you absolutely have to because they can be really, really expensive. But Zenny is changing that. They are an online eyewear shop with stylish prescription glasses, sunglasses and customizable lens options at prices that make it easy to own more than one pair starting at under $30. So you're just gonna go to zenny.com, pick a frame and enter your prescription, customize your lenses and they ship right to your door, no store visit, no pressure. 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And so you can just like stop overthinking dinner and focus on making something that you're going to love. But your box is 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-cut seafood, and more. All source to standards they can actually tell you about. They've already done the research and made the tough sourcing decision. So all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. So we just love this. I mean, you, I'm sure you got yours too. And you've just been like enjoying it. It's just so nice of like a freezer and a fridge stocked. Oh, we got the bacon too. We had the bacon and our burrito. And Shashank made BLTs. And what have you been making? It's just nice to have like a freezer stocked with everything. I came back, I have like ground beef, I have top sirloins, I have chicken, I have scallops. So I just have all these proteins that are really great in the freezer that I can grab, which I love. Yeah, we did a chicken parm. The chicken was so, you know, chicken can be a little weird. And so I just really trust the quality standards that they have in place. And if you guys want to go look on the kitchen sink's Instagram, we do like a chicken parm. Shashank made it like all table side. And that was with the butcher box chicken. And so we are really just so obsessed with it. So I just think this is like the way to go if you, no matter what you have going on, if you live alone, you live with a partner or a family, this is just great. If you are looking for an easier way to get great meals on the table, give butcher box a try. Go to butcherbox.com/gge to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins in every box for a year with free shipping always. That's an insane deal. So that is butcherbox.com/gge. Again, butcherbox.com/gge for those items of your choice. Be sure to use our link so they know we set you. And let's get into it. All right guys, we are very excited to welcome back our guest today. He is a model, a television personality, a former pro athlete, a partner, and a team, a private member's only dating platform. He gained widespread fame in 2020 as it contested on season 16 of ABC's The Bachelorette, where he won the final row, please log in to the show, back to the show, damn us. This is a full circle moment. So I appreciate y'all having me on. He gained popularity on 2018 when he gave out a girl's credit. For real, it's crazy to think back just early stages and it's been awesome just to see the growth and everything y'all have done. So I'm so proud of y'all. And yeah, it's full circle moment. Let's go. Welcome back. Welcome back. We met you at a party and we were like, come on. Yeah. We did. We met you at a party. It's like me. It's spring place. Spring place. Yeah. It was a long time ago. Yeah. It was like, let's have a bond. Here we are. Yeah. I was like, he's hot. Let's have a bond. Let's go. I was here for it. It was fun though. I remember that episode very, very clearly. Yeah. So what happened in eight years? I mean, a lot of life has happened. There's so many transitions that we go through, right? Yeah. The show and then there's business. There's relationships. But life is really good right now. I'm really focused outside of the stuff front facing. Really building business behind the scenes. We've got a team. I'm a partner at a team, which simply put, if you think of, like, a Raya, but with a health and wellness pillar. We love it. We're launching in the city. It's going crazy right now. So that's been really fun. And, you know, I'm just really investing into things I'm passionate about. And the ones that I'm able to, you know, have ownership to be able to scale these businesses. I mean, there's a lot of dating apps out there. We love something that doesn't focus on drinking. Yeah. What was the idea behind this app? You know, I think one of the biggest things is people underestimate the value that our relationships have on our overall health and well-being. And like, dating apps have desensitized us to human connection. Like, it's swipe culture. And there's so many options, but that's not like really building a relationship. So we launched a team with the idea that if you can. create a space with people with shared value, shared mindsets around their health and their well-being, that you're getting them one step closer to alignment. And like we say, we're like the official dating app of wellness, but wellness is just the common ground. And then when you actually get into the product, it's human connection. So that's really the basis of it. You know, it's been like an awesome ride so far where early stages, but we've got a lot of traction. And it's been fun. I've grown a lot from the process. Is it available or not? No. So we're taking applications. We've got about 12,000 people on the wait list. Okay. So people aren't using this app quite yet. So we built this in a very intentional way and we have to be accepted on the platform. Totally. So we're doing on boarding now. I think we've onboarded 4,000 people. We've got about 12,000 people in queue. Yeah. We're fully launching with our live events. The app's going to be fully open here. And roughly, we hope like a month. Oh my gosh. So can you tell us a little bit about how we just jumped right in, but how it works, like how do you connect an app? Yeah. So I mean, if you think about like a traditional app, a lot of the baseline features are very similar, right? It's what people are used to. The onboarding phase is a lot different. It's really asking a lot more about what's your day-to-day like, your health while it's routines, fitness, how you grab yourself. Well, it's very funny because I think about like field, which is like, are you into like cucking or choking? That's right. And then this is more just like, do you like peloton or running? I was actually going to get on that app. I love field. But it is like, you have a field in field. Do you like being put in a cage? Do you want to get peed on? Do you want to be a third in someone's couple? And I'm like, fuck yeah. That's fucking dope. And Dale's app is like, what's yoga flow? Do you like to run the West Side Highway? Yeah. This is a thing though. It's not like people that don't drink. I love a good cocktail. I don't like that. I turn up. But I do know that like where I ground myself is like doing the hard things, like putting in an effort at the gym, and it's really all about alignment because I think like in having an identity, most of these apps don't have an identity. You know, Raya's like value proposition is exclusivity. These niche ones that actually catch on are, you know, doing really well. And our whole thing is to get people together in real life. Like real life. I love that. We just think that like so many of our friends are sober and they don't drink. And it's like, they have to introduce the idea that they're sober rather than meeting through some other type of activity. Yeah. They drink on a first date. I always do because I think it just lowers my anxiety, but it's crazy that you like walk into meeting a stranger who immediately impair your judgment. You're like, I want to actually like lower my inhibitions to remember things, see this clearly. Yeah. Side if I want to sleep with this person, see this person again. Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funnier or was I just funny? Was that the martinis? Yeah. I think you were funny. Oh. Okay. But in the most, in the best way. You guys, first of all, we need to talk about your relationship status, Dale. So someone sent me a real, did someone make a real of you being single? Oh, live. Yeah. Okay. So that's what made me want you to have. We've always wanted to have you. We've been asking for years to come back on. And there was like some points where we always said you on and then you like couldn't come on and talk about your relationship because of the bachelor, like, we were so good to cancel on us, whatever. So we've been wanting to have you back on for a year, so Claire was like, no, no. But there was like, we've acted too crazy. Someone sent me this real of like Dale is single and looking and she was like, you guys should have him back on. And I was like, you right. So yeah. Yeah. I've gotten so many messages. Because of that. Yeah. Well, it's interesting because like you, you look at, you know, the real and there's comments and stuff. But then actually like the DMs and everything like that. Like a great friend. Yeah. I've been seeing a lot of this. Leila, like man on the street is going up to people like working out, typically working out and saying like, are you single? How are you? What are you looking for? Yeah. So this is your friend that just was like, yeah, it was a fun thing. She'd wanted me to do it for a while and I've always been a little bit reluctant. But you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, like, you know, I am single. I think anything is going to like kind of naturally happen in due time. But I was like, this, you know, this could be fun. Let's put it out there. And honestly, the response has been great. I've like, I'm not going on, I haven't gone on any dates or anything from it. But people truly, like, you see how much people are like yearning for connection, putting themselves out there. You see the yearning for the yearning. So what are you looking for? I feel with the relationship, obviously we have to be like very aligned. I love a woman that's career driven that really goes after, you know, what she's passionate about. I think that is a level of understanding that someone can relate with me because sometimes I don't know when to turn it off. And you know, I've also realized like proximity for me is a big thing. I've done distance relationships for long time. I travel a lot. I move around a lot. And really just like looking for someone that I can build a home with, right? I'm 37 years old. I'm pretty clear on what I want as far as a future. And it always goes like to my partner first, you know, kids and all that stuff can, you know, come after the fact. I think I'm also just in a place where I feel very comfortable and secure opening up and like experiencing like new people and like just put myself out there. So we'll see what happens. Okay. So you've had some public relationships. How do you mean my question? Oh, okay. So in terms of a public relationship, you've had these past public relationships, like even your relationships that weren't from the reality TV or from the bachelor, we're still public. Yeah, without a doubt. Yeah. People know you're dating like I'm curious your thoughts on that or is that okay? Would you rather have it differently the next time or is it easier to be with somebody that understands that that is also the nature of what you do and them? Yeah. I think it's really like a case by case situation. It's funny because one of my relationships literally came from the podcast. We know. No, we're aware. It's every man that comes on the show ends up just an avalanche of pussy. So we talked about, this was your accident, the break up was public. Yeah, yeah. And so we mentioned it briefly on the podcast and she sent us a nice message and she was like, I don't know if you knew that I messaged Dale to she's lying to your DMs when she heard you on our show. Yeah. From the 2018 show. Which is crazy. Like she's like way later and then went back and listened every episode once she found the podcast. That's amazing. Shout out to her. Yeah. Um, you know, I think the public side and everyone handles it, you know, a lot differently. The show creates, and I think a lot of people in reality are dealing with this, right? When you go through ups and downs, like everyone in your life has to go on the ride with you, whether you like it or not, I think in a lot of situations, people are focused more on regulation than the actual relationship because of the stresses that go on around it. Me personally, back in 2020, that was like, you know, an eye-opening thing, but I've had a full career, like whether it was sports, I've been, you know, in front of the camera, I've been in a lot of unique circles. So I had a life in this New York scene well before. So the public aspect was never really too difficult for me to handle. But I think you just really have to understand how you're going to protect and preserve like the relationship because like not everyone, everything is for everybody. And I think also like some people handle it really well. You know, previous relationship, you know, it was definitely public, but we never had any issues. You know, we communicated about everything. We always came to each other first. We had each other's backs. Now, sometimes stress, anxiety, it can build and uncharacteristic things happen just because of the pressure and stuff. So I've definitely accepted that my relationships are probably going to be public in some aspect, but that's also why I'm very conscious of like trying to protect the other person so we can build without them feeling pressure, especially if they're not like the public eye or anything like that. I mean, you've trained for this. I mean, you were objectively on the craziest season of the bachelor at that's ever existed. Yeah. It was, I mean, Taylor's insane. You guys didn't see it. It was in 2020. They left the show together. I mean, Claire was like on dates with other guys to talk about Dale. It was Chris. So what was Dale up to today? She was like sniffing your boxers. And then they were like, "Dale, you have to propose." You were like, "Wait, what?" We just had a guest before this. We were talking about it with her, because we said we have Dale boss after this. She was like, "Wait, what?" She's an incredible like author and she's like, "I also love reality TV." Yeah. And I'm like, "Wasn't that the best season?" The best six episodes of the show ever ever. Well, I mean, it was wild. Like when I look back at it, it now. Yeah, but what do you feel like looking back at it? You know, I going into it, like everyone's like, "Oh, is this stage?" No, like there was nothing stage there, right? And we also had a lot of time to, like, because they shut down the filming and we had a lot of time to, like, get to try to understand someone and, like, you know, see the things that we'd like, because on social, even if you weren't talking, you could see it. And honestly, this is actually interesting how it compares to, like, dating apps. So you form and you see these things. But the reality is, like, I also had an insecurity that you could make it work with anyone if you tried hard or not. Okay. And that, like, I wanted to be the best possible partner for someone. But sometimes people just aren't the right fit, or there's life situations that are going on that make it, like, really tough. Like, we were in the pandemic, we were, you know, a lot of things. But I learned, like, a lot from that season. But it was crazy, but it shaped the way, and I'm, you know, grateful for it. It changed the way I look at relationships as a whole. And I think it helped me, you know, show up in a different way, and, uh, also, like, put more boundaries. Because you feel, like, previously, you felt like I can make it work with anybody. Yeah. I was like, honoured. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, I've always had this, like, I've always been a provider, you know, I've all sisters. My dad was not in the picture a lot when I was growing up, you know, struggled with some addictions and things like that. So I've been paying bills at my house since I was in eighth grade, you know? And like, I always wanted to be that and do that and make sure, and I had this belief that if I, like, you know, I'm going to be a part of it. didn't execute, my family would fall apart. And you know, I think that's something I had to grow out of. And I think it's also like that kind of mindset in a lot of ways is a lot of things that men are struggling with today. Like your identity is built on your success. When the reality is like most don't even know how to express themselves emotionally. And I was very fortunate to have women in my life. And I have women in business that are like my partners, my agents, like my team. And that was like a big gift for me. But even with that, like the pressures of like wanting to provide, it took a long time. And I'm stubborn as hell to like actually let go and say, Hey, like, I don't have to be all these things or I don't have to have everything figured out. So again, when you get everything stripped away after a relationship, you you have two options. Either you grow from it or like, I don't know, you just keep going down there. Yeah, you spiral. So I am interested in that though. Like, are you a person who previously has felt like love is enough? Like I will make it work no matter what. And has that ever caused you to stay in a relationship kind of past its expiration point without without question. Because my parents were together for 45 years. And like there were times I prayed my mom would just, you know, separate just because it was chaotic at times. But I also saw them stick together because they were friends. And they really loved each other. But like I never like believed in divorce. I never wanted to get divorced. It was just one of those things. My dad would always like say like he didn't believe in divorce. Got it. Yeah. But uh, yeah, I've definitely stayed in some, you know, some on the public side trying to, to weather the storm and like see if there was a way like, you know, you could figure it out. But the reality is like sometimes it's just not a match. But I've definitely got to the point where if I'm not feeling it, you know, let someone know quickly, I move through things pretty quickly. You know, I've had to learn to not just like go into the shell and just isolate and just completely cut out like everybody as well, you know. Mm-hmm. Why would you cut out everybody? Post break up or in the relationship? Not in the relationship, but I think the in-between, right? You know, I've never been a big, like big data. But I also, I feel like we're in a world where people won't commit. Like they're very fickle when shit hits the fan. Like, you know, they blame other people. So I think that was just like, and that's just from some of the experiences I've had throughout life. And again, those are like protective bears that like I had to just grow through and realize that I had to also make better decisions on who or what I was like drawn to. You know, it's like a woman like they don't want a man to try to like save them, right? It's like how can you add to their life and how does it make sense naturally? And for me like, you know, I had to learn that. Like, I don't I don't need to solve every single problem, especially in a relationship with anything. I think a lot of women are like, I just want to hear like, man, that sucks. Instead of like, here's the solution to this. Yeah, yeah. You see a lot of people in that push and pull because I think a lot of men, they're like, the value I can bring is explaining to you how to fix them. I said, you're like, but I'll save you. Which is valuable in a lot of situations, but I think a lot of women are like, no, I need emotional intelligence. I need somebody to say like, that sucks. And I'm so sorry. You know? Yeah. Well, let's talk about this and this emotional intelligence and this modern masculinity. And I love hearing from you because you have sisters and like, you see women on your team, very Jalen hearts of you to have a all female team. But we want to talk about this and we were just talking with you. You're watching off campus right now. And I think that has really brought this version of masculinity that women are craving right now where you can have a strong athletic masculine dude. You don't need this Timothy Chalamet looking dude. But he can still like this guy can still have feelings in about. He still looks like Jacob. You can have both. And I think that you've probably embodied that for a long time. You've embodied that for a long time. But like, are you seeing more of it? Like we just want to hear your take on this. Yeah. So I'm not all the way through the season, but I've gotten up to episode six, but it was really eye opening because it shows like what healthy relationships could look like. But also like the men in that I think they're patient, there's times where they could get angry or you know, pop off on someone and they don't. It's like, what's the best interest and how do we figure this out together? And they're like really respectful in it. And I think like I do see that with men a lot nowadays. I think a lot of men are maybe it's just a circle as I run and like it's hard for me to also at the same time be around a lot of men because I just feel like I'm geared a little bit different. It's funny that you feel like that because you were a pro athlete. Yeah. So you grew up on teams with men. Yeah. Which is great. But it's just like there's certain things that we're like I'm not out like trying to chase anything. It's things happen naturally. Like it is what it is. And I've also been like around like so many women we're building like this dating app. And I've had so many conversations. But it's really interesting because I think a lot of men just don't know how to express and how to communicate. And I think like there's a lot of confusion on like what they can and can't do. I've heard more in the workplace right even complimenting someone and like some fear around it. But overall like what the writers and the directors are doing on off campus is really like saying like this is how like a relationship could or should be and from a woman's perspective is saying like this is what I'm looking for. And I think it's like it's a great blueprint because you know it's it's truly like that's something that I would hope that I would have in a relationship that patience that communication. Yeah. I just think it's it's it's sending a pretty clear message if anyone's actually going to like pay attention to it. Do you feel like you men in your circle are like trying like are you seeing a shift? Yeah. I mean like the ones like probably too many softies. No, but like they won't ever admit that. But they want more out of a relationship. Right. If they're in a tough situation they're scared on like how do I navigate this? Do I push through? Do I exit? Do I leave a lot of like my close friends because I'm an open book like you know when I've gone through breakups I communicate about it. You know I've had friends see me just ball my eyes out. I've never seen me cry in my life. Like male friends. Yeah. Yeah. But also in those states like they're there for me. They talk through things. They share perspective. They check up. So those things definitely do happen. And like I've been pretty fortunate with that in my life. But that's also what I look for in friendships and relationships like you know we've only got so much time and it's like I can only fuck with like so many people. But if it's like if you're not checking some of those boxes we're not on the same page. I think you know pop culture gives people permission to be a certain way. So if you see these examples of men it allows people to like be more like that. Yeah. I don't know. I hate to say like men are getting better because I never want to say that. And I don't know that I believe I think they're getting better hours. I think we have a like disparity. But I've noticed this like tried and a couple things in we were talking about earlier but I wanted to hear your thoughts. You wanted to hear your thoughts on it. It's first occurred to me on the summer house reunion when I was watching Jesse and Jesse saw him and KJ really turned their backs on West and West hadn't really done anything directly to either of them but they were like you have no integrity. And so I can't fuck with you anymore. Like you have heard people around you. You're a liar. You don't seem to like copped anything. So like I can't fuck with you. It's not like obviously Carl was going to take Kyle's side. But like these other men that really were West friends sat on stage and were like I don't fuck with you anymore. And then Ashley and I saw this example kind of recently in a breakup where this couple we know broke up. And I think we didn't really know whose side everybody was going to take hers or his and his behavior was deplorable. His male friends were like I cannot support this or fuck with this. I don't hate you forever. But like I am not gonna I'm not on your side for this. Yeah I just can't have it that I think that's a common thing. Like you're seeing more. Oh without a doubt. I think like so like broke code code. Yeah let's talk about it because like I you know dealt with broke code. I think some people just don't want to get involved in other people's shit in their relationships. So I don't think it's sometimes broke code. I think it's more like you're an adult handle your business handle your and also in like a day-to-day relationship. Like you're not in someone's house and all this shit all the time right. But I do think like the conversations I've had many friends that have distance from some of their other friends. Yeah. Because they're like I don't get down like that. Like that's that's grimy. I can't trust you if you're doing this or like you're married and this happens like I can't be a part of it. So I think that's really a thing. And on the summer house side those are relationships that have been built for a long time. And you're also like messing around like on the inner workings. Like that's a that's a that's a tough thing to accept. So I think that's something that's a lot more common. I've seen people check the other person even if without their significant other knowing and saying you know you got to clean your shit up. You got to like figure this out because like one she doesn't deserve that too. I can't be a part of it if they're married and like they're running in the same circles. It's like we can't like don't involve me in this. Yeah. This is just it's just messy. Or like it's integrity and it's character. Yeah. How you do one thing is how you do everything. Like I don't know. Can you have a a guy friend that's fully cheated on his wife and he's still going to be an honest good friend to you. Maybe. But I think people are like this is who you are as a person. Yeah. And so I can't like I can't trust you. But I think a lot of people have always been like a lot of men have been like boys will be boys. I'm not getting involved. That's my bro. Not my business. Yeah. Not my business. He's a good friend to me. And I am seeing that less than last. I think that like women hold men accountable. But like men have to hold men accountable. Your peers have to hold you accountable. It's time all day long. I can say men are fucking trash. I'm a man. That's important also. But I think your friends and your male friends need to say like even I can't watch this and support this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean right now I had a friend that did some stuff that we just like could not look at her the same after. And it was tough. It was like she's done anything to us personally. Yeah. But I can't fuck with this. Like we can be cordial but like I like character matters. Well I think it's a real thing. And I think like those comrades Conversations do happen all the time though. It's like hey, you got to address this you got to you know Yeah, get your ship figured out and I think if there's like The gray or the confusing point. It's like at what point do you interject and like right? What role does that play on the relationship? Like, you know, is it is it your place to tell John's wife that hey? This is going on or is it do you press John and say You got to get this cleared up. We're going to distance ourselves like this is your responsibility because I think that's his Responsibility, right? Yeah, it's like the the dynamics like no one wants to be around chaos and no one wants to be around That type of behavior, especially like people doing it consistently. Yeah, I don't I mean I don't know that I'd be the person to tell somebody's partner I don't want to be involved in that type of drama, but I I can't be friends with you The distance is naturally gonna happen. I know we've talked about that like what if I was Cheat on my husband. I can't when you say things like that. It's just okay. What it was like rena you got to support me girl I don't I would really it would harm our friendship because I would be like I'm so team shashong on this He doesn't deserve this Don't even suggest it, but no, I mean if one of my friends was objectively doing something just so Amoral so like just about of any real character. I just would be like I this will materially affect our friendship Right, you know also don't tell me about this, but now we're in a dynamic where I'm like don't tell me about your life And people like when you're judging me. It's like well, you're doing something that is worth judging Yeah, or like it's you're in the middle of it and then it's like I'm not gonna be your like Sounding pod or whatever for something that like I can barely like listen to you Yeah, I can't it's right. Yeah, it was interesting though with summer house I feel like we saw this reckoning like I feel like Jesse is sobbing on stage was this like what the matter coming to terms I think I think it's not male behavior here's day like I think that is a true like authentic Representation and I think it's something that you know is common like guys are more in tune I'm not saying that they they have it all figured out and I think like a lot want to be like even more open more vulnerable Things like that, but something's got a shift like we talk about like loneliness and all that like what's the deal? Like why is everyone single. I'm single. Yeah, but you have a track record of long-term serious relationships. You're not pathologically single Yeah, like I'm not someone who's like going on a million dates and it's all like falling through if anything like I Especially now like I'm looking if I meet someone like are we gonna have a potential to really build a life together? Yeah, I'm also very secure like you know with myself and where I'm at with my career and the things that I'm focused on I also know that sometimes I'm not the easiest person to be with just because I'm on a plane You know 60 times a year and moving around but I think like a lot of the things that I've done Personally and stepped away from certain things in business and even circles is to create more space So I could actually like invest in the things that matter or relationship in the way that I would like to whereas before I I don't think I always did that Okay, just gonna take a quick break. I am telling you guys about Quince were obsessed August great time to start thinking about how you want to look ending the summer and Going into the fall. I mean, I am so excited about Quince cold weather. 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I know So three older sisters as well. How involved in they are are they in your dating life? They have approved and like women easily Have they ever really not approved of a relationship? I gotta know my young sister is that's my ace We communicated about a lot of things. Okay. She's definitely got her opinions. Yeah, ultimately she just wants me to be happy But she knows it in and out, but she'll also check me if I'm wrong Yeah, like what the fuck is wrong with you get your shit together. Stop acting stupid. Okay Yada yada yada, but if she's not feeling someone oh They're gonna know like they could be on FaceTime and I'm be like, you know FaceTimeing someone and I'm like, hey, I'll be right back And she'll be like take her with you It's not the older ones as much as the other. No, no, it's a my younger one is but she's just protective right and she knows and she's seen the things I've gone through behind the scenes and relationships and like where you know I feel like I've just taken like a high road or not created chaos She's been with me through through everything. So she's just very very protective But I love that you know, she's that involved but I also at the same time Make my own decisions, you know, I don't I don't share a lot of my personal stuff with all of my family for a very specific reason I think how would you know the time all these people? Yeah, yeah, exactly But you're not like a group zoo? A group of people want to like protect you, right? So I don't I I don't even talk too deeply with it I have a select group of friends who I'll really dive into with it but uh because everyone has an opinion and it can sway and I believe like if there's too many cooks in the kitchen Right, you don't even know like put the books like but is it hard to get those sisters approval or are they pretty open or do you have to work for? I think my family's like really accepting Okay, sure. So I think if anyone if they show up if they invest time Easy going like across the board. Okay. I think in South Dakota are they all over where so I've got two down in Georgia in Atlanta and the Restor in South Dakota. Okay, so but yeah, they're they're uh I've been getting Text and everything or if they see something they don't like or have they been like Dale seriously? This you can't what do they think about the vassarazzi? I mean my sister was really excited, you know right away I think but whenever she also saw like all the stuff behind the scenes and like some of the stresses that went along with it And she just I think that for her she wished I hadn't gone on the show because like everyone goes on the ride with you Whether you like it or not. Yeah, and they don't know all the in and outs. They don't know like the time you spend with Your partner or whatever that they never see But I think it was just a lot of stress on her and it was also Really tough for her to see like, you know, there's positive comments, but there's also negative. Yeah, and like That's really really hard for anyone, you know Especially if they're they're not used to that space. So and it was during COVID I think you wouldn't even more captive audience I think I could get that time was the most viewed season in the history of the show I mean, it's deserved to be it was like I mean, we'll see what happens with Taylor Frankie Paul, but like are they gonna air it? Yeah, TMZ broke Well, I'm about the time this air is it will have started airing maybe but you're five episodes to help me Do you remember how I was I was four? We didn't even we didn't even do the reunion. They did the reunion Uh, we Why couldn't believe what we're being served it was insanity But when you're in it like I was there and I was like I feel like I'm just like being myself And sometimes like because there's times where people are so polished and put together and and whatever, whatever. And I feel like I was just like kind of being myself. And maybe I was like a little naive to like production and cuts and edits. But I was like. - They're like, "Dale, you have to propose now." - Okay, so I wanna hear your feelings on reality TV. Are you done? Would you do more? I mean, you did Bachelor of Paradise after years, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, in the franchise, that was like so fun for me to go back. - I made that decision last minute. - Okay. - And honestly, and I've said this before, but like, I was really worried about being like, emotionally numb after my relationship ended before the show. - Right. - It took a lot out of me. And I think I was legit concerned. I wasn't dating, I wasn't seeing people like that. And I really wanted to let go of control, also like just experience something and kind of put myself out there. You know, I have a role within the franchise over the last X amount of years. So it was cool to, you know, kind of dive in, but also from like an insecurity standpoint, I'll go back to that. But truthfully, like, I was like, I'm gonna stay away from Bachelor, you know, this or that. Like, I'm done with that. But it was a fun experience. - Yeah. - I have a lot of like friendships, relationships from the show is great. I've really like, my time on a dating reality show is definitely, definitely probably done. - Okay. - I think I've outgrown to this. - Aged out. - Aged out, but also like, I've just moved on for a lot of other things. - Would you say that breakup was the hardest, toughest breakup you've had? The one with what we talked about that found you from our show. - Yeah, without question. - We, I'm interested in how men handle breakups. I think I know how women do and we've been through that, but like, how did you work through that? Like, what got you through? Like, what advice do you have, you know? - I think the biggest thing with that, and like, like, she's, like, we're on great terms. I know she's, you know, fine with me. She's got a touch and base on it. But we, like, really loved each other. - Yeah. - We honestly had a really strong, like, great relationship. - Yeah. - But it was a, you know, pretty eye opening because we're both going through tough things in our personal lives in life at the same time. - Okay. - Right. And when that happens, sometimes there can be a disconnect or you can develop resentment because you're not able to meet someone else's needs or vice versa. And there was a lot of push pull. Eventually, like, we truly cared about each other enough to say, like, hey, we gotta, we gotta pause this 'cause this is not who we are. This is not how we show up for each other. And it was tough. And I think the reason, like, it was so tough, you know, looking back at, like, at that time, is 'cause we weren't bad people. We really loved each other, but, like, the dynamic just, wasn't working, it wasn't sustainable. And, like, that was really tough. It's like, you gotta separate, but you, this is someone who, you know, at the time, or, like, you believe you'll spend the rest of your life with. Yeah, that one, like, that frickin' rocked me. - Yeah. I mean, breakups are so hard when it's not, like, somebody doesn't cheat. They don't betray you in a really terrible way. Your friends don't hate that, you know? - Not a little, yeah. - Yeah, there's nothing, like, so tangible. Like, there's not an event. - Yeah. - That you hate a person. Like, this, like, slow drip is really, it's tough, I wouldn't have validated. It's, like, really the worst breakups. And you're, like, I do love this person. Like, one person. - Yeah, and, you know, I think back to, like, I'm a master compartmentalizer. I could have the worst thing in the world happen to me. It goes in the back of my brain. It's, like, nothing ever happened. That's something that I would do a lot of times with, like, loss and relationship. But, like, this one, I made it, like, I really let myself feel it. - Yeah. - And people saw me in a state that they'd never seen me before, but they also, I saw a side of people that I had never seen any for it, because I allowed them to actually, like, be there for me, which is something that, typically, I never would do. - Do you feel, like, as a performer? I feel like she and I have to do that. Like, if something really bad happens to me, I have to get on stage and talk to Matt. Like, do you feel, like, as a performer also? - Yeah, I know a lot. - Like, a lot, right? So, like, in my day to day, but I remember, like, there were times, like, I could do control. I was, like, I'm fucking done right now. But it was, like, the best thing for me, like, growth-wise, to let people support me when they could. - Yeah. - And it helped me move through it quickly, like, you know, - Totally. - Yeah, understood, like, this had to happen. It's just, like, with the point, but I move through it, like, really quickly, rather than something dragging on. And also, like, I know I left nothing on the table. And I think we both felt that way. But yeah, you gotta feel it. Otherwise, you're not getting through it. - Well, that's what women do. Women feel it, and we cry. We get the pain out of our body. We talk about it, and, essentially, with our friends, and our family, and our therapist, and men bottle it up, and then it comes out in these ways, various ways, you know, years down the road, or, you know, everybody knows the story of this guy who got his heart broken when he was 20, early 20s, and he never-- - Yeah, I don't understand. I mean, I'm not, like, shading anyone there. I just can't. - No, it's, what you did is healthy. - Yeah, it's good. - It's just, like, that's how you actually get through it. It's, I don't know, it's not with you forever. - It's interesting. - A future relationship. - Like, the male loan is not a pandemic. Like, you guys could help yourselves, you know, by talking about your feelings with each other, and instead of just, like, drink it out, fuck it out. - Yeah, that old, what is it, get over, get, get under to get over, or whatever? - Yeah, like, get over if I get under it? - Yeah, I mean, I really go through their things, but, like, yeah, you got to work through your shit, and, like, this is coming from someone who would bury stuff for years and years and years, and it affected me in a lot of ways that, you know, I just was causing myself so much more problems, and, you know, issues than I needed to. Yeah, you got to feel it for sure. - Yeah, and then I always feel like that worst, terrible breakup, you will never actually go through that again. I mean, hopefully the next person you find, that will be the person forever, but it's just, like, my breakup like that, I was like, I can get through this, if it were to happen again, I, like, know I have the strength. - Yeah. - Like, the moments of, like, despair, crying on the floor, I feel like I could die. I just think you do it once. - That's, like, like, so spot on, 'cause I hear a lot of people say, "Oh, I'm afraid of hurting someone, or I'm afraid of getting hurt." And I'm like, you know, after some of the things I've gone through, whether it was the loss of my mother, or like some relationships, I was like, I can get through this shit, one way or another. It doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt, it's not gonna suck, but like, also, if you're gonna get to the levels you want in anything, you gotta be willing to go through some pain. - Right. - You gotta be willing for it to, like, crash and burn at some point. - Totally. - And then pick yourself up, so I've kind of embraced that. Like, let's go. - Well, the pain's just not gonna kill you, and I remember my first really bad break up the worst of my life. I thought I was gonna die from the pain. Like, it was just so bad, every single day. I just like, couldn't sleep, couldn't shower, couldn't leave the house. I was so depressed, and I pushed through it. Like, eventually you don't think about it 100% of the time. You think about it 99% of the time. Like, that's a win, and you know you'll get better. And if you really have pain like that, and if you lost a parent, like, you know that you can face other pain and overcome it. - I know, and people just, they try to avoid it. And I like, I can think of a, I don't know, I'm like, looking at a woman or a man, even, and you're like, 30s, and they're just so scared to go through, and it's like, it's coming. - Yeah, you gotta go through it. - We all get fucked up by that. - Oh, yeah, and I'm telling you, it fucked me up. Like, you have a bad break up or whatever, but like, some of my friends, they're, (laughs) we'd be in a group, they'd be like, oh, don't fuck with Dale right now, he's on edge. He's working through his problems right now, but they knew like, I was like, whatever emotions were coming for, for a little while. Like, you know, three, four weeks. - Stay away from Dale. - Oh, it was all over. I was like, tell people, don't come visit me right now. Because like, you're not gonna get the best version of me. Like, I gotta work through this. - Were you leaning on like guy friends? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, it sounds like you have a strong circle of male friends, which is like, so healthy. - Yeah, my friend, like Duncan, who's a psychologist, but he worked with me through a lot of things. I work, you know, we really, I've been very, very fortunate to have like, very emotionally intelligent men in my life, but also like, even my father, like, we talk through things, like my closest friends, and it, the funny thing is, like in the moments where I was not expecting to open up, or I was visibly like, I was, I was not okay. The amount of people who I didn't even have that relationship with that came and like, kind of consoled or nurtured, or like, talk through things, and then they opened up about their situation. And like, our relationships and bonds got a lot tighter through that, but you have to like, let them help you or be there. You gotta let yourself kind of fall sometimes. - Yeah. - And be vulnerable. - Yeah, so that tightened my bond with a lot of people, but it also let me know that like, whatever on a relationship, like, if it's the right person, I'm not afraid, like, going all in, 'cause worst case scenario. - Totally. - I'm gonna be all right at the end of the day. - Yeah, so we asked you what you wanted to talk about today. One of the things you had written was that Weiman have raised their standards, and it's just changed dynamics with relationships in general and men and how they have to show up. So let's talk about that a little bit. - Yeah, I think, like, literally men, cars, credit cards, like, success, like, I think they've always banked on that as far as, like, also the personality, trait and value, but, like, women are making more money than ever, a lot, like, then most men, right? Education, you're looking at, like, their position in the corporate world, so you have people who can provide for themselves, like, point blanks, simple. So, what do you bring into the table? - The joke is like, all you can bring to the table is your personality now, so like, what do you got? - Yeah. - I mean, like, a supportive partner, an emotionally intelligent partner. - That's not a personality. - Yeah, sure, sure, sure. - Oh, but it really is, like, they talk about, like, emotional intelligence and things like that, but I think, like, and in general, too, like, this is not, like, a control. Like, I think, back with, like, my grandparents, my grandma never worked, and, you know, my grandpa, like, provided for everything. People were kind of tied to each other because they needed each other to even survive. - Sure. - Like, that's not the case anymore. And I also think, like, this old way of, like, thinking about masculinity, toughness, control. Like, you gotta be tough and resilient and everything like that, but you don't have to bury everything. But it's also like a respect thing, right? Just how would you show up and how, how are you gonna treat people in your day-to-day? But yeah, I think, you know, there's been a big shift. And I think that's a big reason why women are now, like, not choosing men, where, before it's men choosing women. - Well, what do you bring into the table? - Yeah, I mean, the amount of incredible women, I know that are single. I mean, there's such a despair. between incredible men that I know that are single and incredible women, I mean, half of my girlfriends, a lot of them, almost all of them in New York, are successful, beautiful, interesting, they work out, they have hobbies, interests, they're talented, they're all single, that's not the case for the man that I know, so women are choosing to just be solo. - I've heard, it's like so many conversation, they're like, I don't even care if I'm dating right now, because the pool is so bad, or I'm good, I'm sufficient by myself, I don't need anyone for it, so unless they're bringing something to the table, it's not worth my time. - Also, I don't wanna be a man-hater, I think partnership is the most beautiful thing in the world, it enhances your life, it's the best feeling, romantic love is the best feeling, you could ever feel. But I think that women just have leaned back and they've just said, if it costs me my peace, it's too expensive. - So you're a natural provider, you said. You kind of alluded earlier that maybe in the past, you've maybe had a little bit of a savior complex, I'm not accusing you of that, but just in general, wanting to provide, and now women don't need as much providing for, so have you thought about that? Like kind of had to reconcile that, 'cause you want a strong independent woman, but you also want to provide. - Yeah, I mean, I think I look forward to it, because I like, and I know how I should. Let's go, stop the podcast, let's get it. - I'm trying to say that on the podcast. - You're positive, positive. - Honestly, I know I'm strong and independent, but I can be silenced, and I am ready. - You can pay my bail. - Yeah, I don't need to pay my bail. I'm all set. - Let me adjust how I sit real quick. - If you guys should go to-- - Maybe you should bring your backpack. You guys should go on a date. - Let's go on that. - Get back back. - Okay, a lot of fucking care about my standards. Let's find out if you guys want a date or not. Okay, that was important to me. Eight years ago, you invited Ashley to mind, but you and me, you had an advance, it was a premiere, it was a towel. - And then Ashley came with a backpack. - Yeah, I was just like, hey, come, let's hang. That's the thing, like sometimes I'll be like, I don't even consider, like, is it a date? I just wanted to kick it. - You know, maybe she shows up with a purse or a backpack, and then I'll know. - Well, it was weird, 'cause if I had a-- - Okay, I would just check the backpack. - I'm like, I hope this is a date, but I'm my backpack. Like, I don't know, so, yeah, we met, and then we had the podcast and then you invited me to, whatever it was, some, it was the movie premiere after part of your self. - Yeah, yeah, that's how, that's how. - And I'd been out all day, I don't know. I checked the backpack at town, like, I don't know. And then I was like, yeah, I don't know. I didn't know what the vibe was, but I'm more friends. - Yeah, everything worked itself out. - I bought her a backpack for her birthday a couple years ago, and it was a huge miss opportunity, I mentioned this. - We mentioned this in the podcast. It's been like, girls gotta eat lore. Like, did Ashley and Dale go on a date? I don't know, you tell us. And then, I would see sometimes in the comments, like, if I would comment on your post, which, like, your post, with your partner at the time, I'm like, you know, I'm hyping you. I'm in support of it, and people would come back to me by backpack emojis. Like, you know what, I'm gonna, I need to get a red backpack. But, like, truly, I just was, like, I just wanted to, like, kick it, like, get together, and get to know you. I didn't consider it, like, get to know you. - I get it, no, this is a friend zone situation, I get it. It's fine. I'm married. - It was. - I was, I wasn't dating, like, really anybody. Honestly. - Yeah, I'm like, now, where he's gonna pay my bills, and he's just gonna hobble me. - Let's go. - We talk about this, 'cause I quote Kiki Pomer all the time, with her saying, like, I want partnership, but I don't need a man's money. So that's not what I need for a man, but I need support and love. And, like, I think of what my husband provides for me, and, like, he doesn't pay my bills. - Yeah. - You know, like, I make more than him. This isn't, like, a secret. That's not our dynamic. But, like, what he does for me is, it's invaluable. Like, his support for me, like, I feel like I'm at the point where I can't, I can get through the day without him. But, he just, like, supports me so much. Like, I am fine on my own. I was fine on my own for 40 years, but, like, I do need him in a lot of ways, you know, and I would be fine with him, of course, and I wouldn't, he is the best. He does, he does a lot, like, really supports me, and he is, like, emotionally intelligent. He does all the things. So, it's just, like, I think some relationships have had to be shifted with a woman who doesn't need your, like, financial support, but she wants your, like, emotional support. And, you know, you could be there in that way. - Yeah, I agree entirely. And, like, acts of service is my thing. So, like, I like doing the small things. And, I think, like, nowadays, the small moments and the small things are so rare, because people are moving in all these options, but they're the most important. So, I've never had, like, a worry about how I can show up for someone. I look for someone who's driven, successful, who has their thing. I want to be able to support them in that, and not by, like, trying to, like, be involved in every aspect of, like, the business, but just so, like, I can go on that ride and, like, be there with them. So, that's not intimidating to me. I think, like, for me, that's kind of, like, the baseline. They don't have to be doing, like, the most elaborate thing. They just have to be, like, really, really passionate about it and work hard on it. So, yeah, I mean, I look for that heavily. - All right, well, guys, if you felt the bill, slide in, detail to you. (laughing) No, I have a question for you. You travel all the time, you're always on the road, you're always in an airport bathroom, taking a selfie, that's just, that's a thing. - They like popped off randomly, so I was like, let's just ride it. - It's like that, yeah. - And so, how do you make a partner feel secure in the relationship? Do you have to even think about it or is it natural to you? Like, do you have to kind of think, like, I need to be consistent in text or whatever it is, because I'm gone all the time and-- - I make it a big point that even when I'm not there, like, they're a priority in the relationship. So, that could be the text. That could be, you know, the heart here, that could be this or that, 'cause I think a lot of times when they're separation, it's like you have your life when you're together. Obviously, there's some shifts when you're not, but like as far as like, insecurities about like, what they're doing, or I've never really had anyone try to like, control my movements outside of like, maybe a few moments. - I think different rules apply to different partners when we've set this before, like, I think if somebody's with you and they feel like you wanna be with them and you're intentional and you're trustworthy, then post your airport selfies, you know? - Yeah. - You just seem, I mean, you know, I've never dated you, so that's that one month, but like, you just see that one night, one month, one night. - It was a glorious night. - You seem like a solid partner. Like, is that the feedback you get mostly? Like, I don't see you as like a woman wondering where she stands in a relationship with you. - Yeah, like I don't do well with gray area. And I think like in some of the relationships what, like if there was gray area, I made it pretty clear that like I'm clear on like, this might not be where it's at. So, and if I'm investing in someone, like you're gonna know it. And I'm not afraid of like, doing too much or all this stuff, like I'd rather do that and let them know where they stand and how I see 'em. - Ladies, he will love love you. - I mean, he's been like picking up the phone and calling to talk to someone. Like people are like, I, like no one ever calls me. I've never experienced this. - Oh, I wanted to ask you this. I just saw a clip that you did a podcast recently who said like, you'd be calling people. They're like, what's happening? - Yeah, it's like, I love that. - I like to hear someone's voice and check in. And like, yeah, there's this, but like, you know, pick up the phone. Like, I'm not trying to keep tabs on you. I just want to hear your voice and see how you're doing. And that's like such a foreign thing. Like, you're texting for like a month at a time and like, you barely know that person's voice - Right, you know, I want to get on every single day. Oh, I've been personally been together. Like, Ashley doesn't call me. Ashley, we probably called each other. I don't know, it's an emergency. It's like I'm really serious. - Yeah, we like really need to talk something. Like, something's really bad. Yeah. Have you, like, call if you ever called someone and they're like, so flustered. Like, someone you're newly dating, do you just call? Like, just, yeah, I mean, I think like, there's been times, like, I literally, I can hear it in their voice when they're like, they're so shocked. Yeah, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, why are you calling me? - Yeah, she called me. I would be like, what happened? - Yeah, and it's like texting. And it's like, look, like, I'm just going to pick up the phone, this is easier. And truly, like, they're shocked. Multiple people have said, I've never had a guy call me in the first, like, week or two. Like, how they do his text. And I'm like, just quick check in. - I want to surprise FaceTime. But like, only if I'm sleeping with somebody, everybody else now, right? At the FaceTime thing, with anyone, like, no one has my location outside of like, I think one person. - Oh, really? - It's not even like a hide thing. It's just like, 'cause I don't look and see where my friends are. I have their location, but I never look at it. And like, they're random FaceTime's. - You don't like random FaceTime? - Sometimes. But it's a whole, like, if it's like, all the time, like-- - I don't think we're randomly FaceTime. They're the only people that-- - My brother with my nephews is the only real FaceTime. - My sister-in-law with my nephews. My brother better FaceTime-y. - Yeah, my sister, she FaceTime's me, like, go off and, like, I mean, I think it also, like, if, you know, I'm in a relationship, FaceTime-y, like, all you want, or just, you're probably gonna get, "Hey, is everything okay?" I don't know, I just don't. Like, the random FaceTime's are just one thing that-- - Well, you're a millennial. Like, and you're in that, you had to grow up calling girls on the landline. You know, and their dad could answer. And I think that's like a very millennial thing is like, we do want to talk to the film, but like, the FaceTime generation is really-- - Do you actually talk about FaceTime? 'Cause I just say, like, let's tap in, like, what's that? - Oh, but we have a long distance all the time. - Like, today, like, when you're here-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, you guys will face that. - It's, like, also, like, reminiscent of our previous long distance relationship. Like, so we, so it's, like, hard to say. - Yeah, like, are we doing it? 'Cause it, like, brings us back, or we really want to see each other. - Oh, like, if you're seeing someone, that's a different one. - That's different. We're romantic relationships and your nieces and nephews. And that's what I'm saying. - That's, thank you. - Like, I don't really need to FaceTime my friends. - What are friends FaceTime? I don't want that. - Well, yeah, usually, you know, it's some random, like, other person who's on there, that I probably don't want to talk to. - Well, right. - Oh, right. - Like, oh, I just got with this person. - No, like, you got to meet a fan. - Or, like, I'm, you know? - Or, yeah, sometimes, and I'm like, hey, what's up? But, like, can you, like, just clear before-- - Never do that again, yeah. - Or they're out, like, fucked up. And it's, like-- - Uh-huh. - I don't mail comedian FaceTime you once. And he was like, I want you to like talk to these girls. I was like, you FaceTime me to get pussy. Don't do that, you're the pain. You have to do a meet and greet. Can you just do this on your own? You want to watch it? - I've had people where they're like, will you take a picture with my wife? And I'm like, yeah, totally, like, you know it's, but it's kind, right? But then he's like, dude, I'm gonna get laid tonight from this. It's crazy. - That's crazy. - Like this is fucking weird. - Exactly. - God, it's such a funny thing. - I swear, that's, I've had that happen like multiple times. - Wait, I also forgot that you FaceTime would have to wear that Boston show. - Yeah, what I called it, oh my God, people went crazy. - So that's the night I met my husband, by the way. - Oh, wow. - And that show was like, blives forever. - It's a crazy show. That's the night that I met this guy that I rode a whole comedy hour. - Yeah, that was October 2021. We were all in costume. - Yeah, I remember that. - I was wearing like a taco because you have the whole taco cut. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, that goes way back. - Is it crazy? - I don't wait for that. - Yeah, so I went in. - Are you heirs by this, Dale? - So I went in for something. I thought it was Broadway. I talked to a modeling industry, right? You could do something great. And then you have some random, and I walk in and they have all these costumes. I was like, what the fuck? And my agent's like, do you just get through it? Like, they're paying you really well. It'll never see the light of the day. And I'm like, and there's like multiple. I was like, I'm not doing that. They had some weird shit in there. But the taco and-- - Wait, so what year was this? - 20, whoa, probably 17. - Okay, so yes, so if you guys don't know what we're talking about, I'm going to see Dale's a model. And these, once you kind of got fame on the reality TV, people found your old modeling photos from Party City, and you're wearing this taco costume, which I own-- - I own one as well. I'm not going to lie. - You don't like her to shoot. - No, they sent it because they thought it was going to be funny. And I was going to do this whole thing. And then I was like-- - So these pictures came out, whatever. Bottom line is, that's what I dressed for that show in Boston. And we called you anyway, and you know, you were off the top of the match. - Taco day. - You were a little clipe of it, and at the end of the episode, we had this great reel of us calling you. And Ashley's in this taco costume, and you pop up on stage and the audience goes berserk. - Insane. - I remember that show. - I'm actually answered, Shashank's the audience. Like, I can't compete with this. - Oh. - I came here to try to meet this girl. - Oh my God, he's talking to other guys in front of me. This guy would fall in love with this filming it. Like, this is really crazy. - Yes, exactly, it was so funny. Well, Dale, this is so lovely. - Yeah, this was amazing. - Thanks for coming back on. And tell everybody, whatever you wanna plug. Like, can you direct people to set that up? - Trying to get on the app, or? - Yeah, I mean, you can see things I'm doing on social media, Instagram, a little bit on TikTok. But A team, truly, I think that we're building something that's gonna change the way that people connect. A team.co, you can download it in the App Store and A team.co on Instagram. So, and we're launched here in New York City. - That's awesome. Oh yeah. - Do you know Bobby? You do. - Yeah, Bobby West Side. - Adonis, I hate you. - Adonis and everything. - Okay, I love this. - We're gonna work on some stuff together here pretty soon. - Oh, great. Okay, well, you guys don't want to find us girls. Gotta eat.com, girls gotta eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina is Raina, dot greenberg, Raina greenberg.com for her tour tickets. You can watch full video on Spotify or YouTube. Watch this one for sure on video. We recommend it, share it with a friend. And we will see you guys Thursday. Have a good week guys. Bye. (upbeat music) ♪ Raina, raina, raina, raina ♪ ♪ Raina, raina, raina, raina ♪