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Anything Goes (Part 4)

67m 56s

Anything Goes (Part 4)

The episode of "Destractable" blends satire, absurdity, and absurdly specific facts into a chaotic, comedic narrative. It opens with a surreal take on penguins causing global warming through increased breeding, followed by a satirical breakdown of human interactions, such as Wade being ignored by James during a farewell. A heart monitor mishap at a hospital is recounted with dark humor, revealing bureaucratic errors and personal embarrassment. The show then turns to AI, criticizing OpenAI’s Sora video service for being unprofitable and ethically questionable, especially after a Disney-related lawsuit. A political joke features a candidate snorkeling in a flooded city street, while another absurd incident involves a massive pipe in Japan growing overnight. The narrative escalates with a fictional Italian man emerging from the pipe and a global evacuation, culminating in a New Zealand story where teens accidentally donate illegal items to charity. The segment ends with a mix of real and fictional events, including a wife-carrying race in England and a “hemisphere joke” about age. Throughout, the hosts use exaggerated, over-the-top scenarios to entertain, blending deadpan delivery with wild, illogical premises. The tone remains consistently humorous, relying on irony, misunderstandings, and surreal twists to deliver a chaotic yet engaging experience. The episode concludes with a tie in points, highlighting both the absurdity of the content and the show’s commitment to comedic overreach.

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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to "Destractable" this episode. Mugging Mark Jetsett blows off the boys, then talks robot talk. Wagtastic Wade gets dismissed by James, mistaken for a situation alien. Shaved, sued by Disney and street snorkels, booming head bob, describes doggy dogfisting, chide's concrete constructs, slam sawdur, and carpet bombs proliferating penguins from flatulence maxing to talking whys. It's time for anything goes part four. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to "Destractable" the show where you're going to laugh and laugh and laugh because of these two funny gentlemen right here and sometimes me, this one's named Bob. No, that, I guess this one's named Wade, and that one's named Bob. Very funny, eh? Yeah, and don't forget about our editors. Editors make them laugh. Ah, fart noises never get old. Good one boys. Good one, good one, good one. Who's okay? Over here, judging farts. Who are you to judge farts? Are you the host? Seriously, are you the host? Who's host? I don't know. That is a good name for an episode. We judge each other's farts. That's such a good name. God, brings me back to the fart, Jeannie. There's no other level to it either. It's just judging each other's farts. That's a tough one. I think that one has to have homework, right? I feel like you have to record every fart you do for like a week or a month or something and then we bring them in. So we can talk about it. That's a tough one, but I feel like that'd be worth it. We've seen the tick talk about the guy who's trying to fart Max. What's he like eating beans and stuff? Oh, man, who's eating so much more than beans. What does it mean to fart Max? Is that a phrase? Well, the video is like, he's like, and now welcome to episode 39 of Fart Maxing. I've got some super kimchi here along with some fiber and some pickled juice and some some high-starch beans for maximum volume and extra fart beans. Yeah, and then he got some spicy peppers in there. I think there's going to be the greatest concoction I've ever had and it just turns to him on the toilet being like, I am in the most pain I've ever been in my life. Fart Max failed. I'll get him next time, boys. I kind of hate that. Yeah, I'm glad my algorithm didn't think that I was super into that because I only saw two of his videos. Well, now that we've mentioned it, it definitely will show up. That sounds like a much funnier version of the, have you seen the day 300 of spring dog medicine on my hands until I couldn't punch through brick walls, guys? I forgot about that. Yeah, what happened to him, is he? He's like still going. He's over here. It's awful. Literally, he does it and his hands sound like they're made of God. I don't even know. Somehow glass or something. It's horrific. Why would you want that? He reached a point where his hands are so calloused that like they give off the heavily constant static charge. So if he just holds his hand near rice, he can like levitate rice because his hands are so fucking, his hands just still like are infinitely statically charged because he's just fucking shoving them and bucking to rice 24/7. Oh man, that's really funny. Wait, you need to spend either way more or way less time on the internet. You're not seeing the right stuff. I think the answer is more to see that, but I'm going to go with less because I don't know that I want to. There's nothing wrong. Look, it's concerning because I wouldn't want it and I don't know who's going to ever going to let that man touch them in the rest of his life, but it's fascinating that this guy is so dead set on having literal hands of steel. He could beat Superman in a hand toughness competition, presumably oddly specific. So a bunch of nerds just raced into the comment section to tell me how stupid that was, but I bet he could do it. I really could do it. I bet he, I mean, he's obviously gaining superpowers right now. Just hands. Nothing beyond hands. The rest of him is totally normal, but his hands, you don't want to let him touch you. You don't want to let him get a hold of you. What is in the dog medicine? That's what makes me confused. So I don't know what it's made of, but it's for dogs who have like, I don't know if it's damaged to their pads of their feet. It's stuff to toughen up the pads of their feet, right? Oh, for the pat right, that makes more sense. You spray it on dog's feet if they have like a wound on their pad or if they have like soft pads and they need to be tougher for walking outside or whatever, like, right, right. Okay. It's, it's for that. So it's literally for like, toughening skin of no fucking idea what it's made of. Why does it just wear gloves? Because then his hands aren't covered in dog medicine. What are gloves biome? Yeah, think before you talk. This guy, why don't we even invite him to this? I'm giving you a minus zero points. Why go for dog pads? Why don't like bug ex-go, ex-go skeleton? Ex-go skeletons, eh? Yeah, there's like hate out with James. Bugs, a bug ex-go skeleton since. I feel like every time he's brought up lately, I get a little lumped in with the, and wait, really is like a two or three year old dude. We went to dinner the other night. Oh, yeah, we don't have to. God, that was so funny. We really don't have to relive that. What happened? I want to hear about that. James has always sort of known Wade as Molly's husband. He crushes on her hard. He loves Molly. And then we're like, and this is Wade. And he's like, yeah, hey, I'm like keep talking to Molly. He's become increasingly dismissive towards Wade. The longer they've known each other. We were out at a restaurant. And we were getting ready to leave, I think. And ever so everyone was standing up and sort of moving, making our way out. And I was like, James say goodbye to everybody. Like, you know, give him a hug or whatever. And he ran around. It was like, bye, bye. Got everyone except Wade. And then he's standing right in front of Wade. And I'm like, hey, buddy, did you forget anybody? Like, did you, did you say goodbye to everyone? And he looks up at Wade directly. Looks right at me, regards him. And he's like, no, and walks away. It was brutal, man. He thought about it. He was like, I don't know that guy. Shit. See ya. That's very funny. It was so funny. When he first started saying goodbyes, Molly and I were standing right next to Bob. And James cuts right across in front of me to go to Molly to say bye to her first. He's like, but she out of the way all. He's like, don't touch me. I gotta talk to Molly. I am an obstacle in between one of his many love interests. That's fair. I'm giving you a pity point just for that way. Thanks. He needs it, man. It's stuff out here. Hey, you need that. Yeah, it's real tough. How is your life, though? Well, we prepared for a couple more pitties. I finally went to see a doctor and had an EKG done, because I was having those heart palpitations. EKG came back clean, which was nice. That's always good. And then they put me on a heart monitor for 48 hours. So I was wearing a heart monitor, which I thought would be really disruptive and annoying. It actually didn't really bother me at all. Other than the fact I couldn't shower or bathe with it, which was kind of gross. But otherwise, didn't really bother me. But I turned that in before we went to dinner. Over the weekend, I turned that in on Sunday. No one's called me. No one said a thing. So I'm guessing I'm okay, or they lost it or something. If it was bad, they would say it would ecology right away. Definitely, you're totally fine. Well, let me rewind to getting the heart monitor. Okay. So I go see my normal like family doctor. And he's like, all right, we're going to do an EKG. I'll just do some normal tests. And you seem fine, but you know, just to be safe, you give me a prescription to something. I figured it was called just in case I needed it. Probably should have looked into that more. So I've got some medicine. I should probably be taking that. Yeah, you might want to learn about that, but go on. Molly, it wasn't there to tell me it was important. So I forgot it. My bad. But then he's like, let's get you on a heart monitor for a couple of days. Just to see what's going on. So I had to go to a hospital to get the heart monitor. They didn't do it there. They scheduled me an appointment to go to the hospital. I walked in with Molly and the doctor had been like, yes, we'd be really quick. They're just going to put a couple of like sensors on you. You'll carry the heart monitor around to be easy. You should be a quick appointment, whatever. Then they'll have you drop it off. Cool. So we go to the hospital and I check in and they send me to another place where I check in again, make sure I'm in the right spot, double checked in. Molly and I sit down and the lady comes back right away and calls my name. I was like, man, so fast. There's no people waiting, but they wanted me first. This is excellent. And Molly starts to go back with me because after the, I forgot that's questions about my medicine, the buckle. She's like, I will be with you every step of the way from this point on. So she goes to go with me and the lady that calls my name is like patient only. You have to wait here and the look Molly gave. I thought the lady was going to die on the spot, but she called firm and made me go back by myself. And I was like, well, they're just putting on a heart monitor. How this, it's going to be fine. Like whatever. They take me back to a room. It's a big room. I'm just like, man, there's a large room for a simple thing. But okay, that's fine. Is there an audience in the rafters? Is there like a circle room? It's an operating theater. There's three other nurses in the room. Oh, good. And they start strike it up a conversation with me. They're like, this is your name, your birthday. Oh, happy early birthday. It's like, oh, thank you. They're like, I'm a pro fourth. That looks like birthday. I'm a pro fifth. It's like, that's weird. We all have three, four, five. And they're all like, oh, well, we're just we're excited to have you here. And I was like, great. Why are there so many of you for this? Are you so excited? Why are you excited? Never seen a freak like you before. Wow. Yeah. That's like, I'm just here for a heart. But hey everyone, yep, I like chatting with people. There's people I got an audience I'm happy and they sent me down keep asking me some questions and they're like all right Well, this is gonna be pretty simple procedure. They'll take about 45 minutes or so and I was like procedure 45 minutes These are words that don't sound like putting on a heart monitor come to find out they were gonna be doing some like super Stress tests or something and the only reason they figured out that I wasn't the supposed recipient is I guess They finally saw through the gray in the ball that realized I wasn't 78 years old But for the first however many minutes. I guess I convinced them I like that part of the conversation was about your birthday too. You sure was so they were thinking about that and they in their head They were like man. He looks great. Wow. It was born in the 50s. Wow They had my name right too. So they must have had the right cover sheet but the wrong back sheet or something I don't know but they had they had a good mixture of correct and very incorrect information There's a deaf 90-year-old in the waiting room named Wade just say they'll call me any second now Oh, is this what performs the test? Yeah, you take this you go home and we'll call you a couple of days Really thought I was getting more done than this the doctor said they would be more nurses Always always love attention. Yeah, same. You're all the same. So when they finally figured out that I was the wrong patient This is like 10 15 minutes in another nurse comes and she's like hey come with me Sorry, we really know what we're doing here today. I promise. It's just it's a little hectic and I'm like okay good So can I have my wife come back? They take you to another room with a huge machine that says anal probulator and they're like all right lay down face down Wait a minute. Which way are you? Oh shit it was wait date the hospital. I should have known we scheduled by name I always tell them that's a terrible plan They had the lady that came back and got me she apologized for the mix up I was like my wife come back and she's like this will be too fast. No, you don't need her and it's like She takes me to the equivalent of a broom closet. This is a much smaller room. There is barely sitting room in this one I've really missed the nice big stress test room, but this room felt a lot more apt for the very minor just Get out that happened and then she was upset I've got like I'm not a super hairy person. I do have a little bit of hair on my chest and she was like I was hoping you'd be one of the hairless ones and I was like, excuse me. I forgot my razor. Give me a second I was like okay, so then she leaves and then she comes back with like a little handheld like a razor and just like All right, that'll be good enough, but she was very upset that I had any amount of body hair I guess I was supposed to be a Olympic swimmer when I came in but I wasn't quite prepared She looked at your head and was like I really hope it carries down. I guess so. Yeah. I felt shamed this guy hates hair I felt very shamed for having any amount of chest hair, but then she put the I think it was like five sensors on Pressed a couple boo-doodies on this beeper thing put it in my pocket and she's like all right Here's a paper right down when you have any issues right down the time. Here's where you return it. I'll circle it Okay, fun. I walked out and I Molly looked like that girl from Willy Wonka who ate the blue candy Was like swelling into like red rage over time. She was very unhappy. Oh, okay, not she wasn't like swelling up She was a human blueberry. Well blues. I guess the wrong code. She was turning red with rage I'm trying to say I just did it wrong. You know wrong color wrong fruit wrong movie probably Okay, I walked out and I was like look. I've got the and I mean she looked like her eyes were about the shoot lasers because one I was a lot faster than 45 minutes But she thought she's gonna sit out there for 45 minutes - she was there to go with me And she kind of had a hectic morning to make sure she could go to the appointment just to be shoved in the waiting room And then I started telling her about the mistakes and how like oh, yeah, I could go to this other room You could have definitely come back to that one. Oh, I should have never said those words because man oh man We got out quickly and it was probably for the best because she was not a happy camper with being dismissed by the people to be the wrong room And all she's like I need to go make sure the right things happen. No, we've got him We're gonna go do the stress test on your 78-year-old husband I the context could not be more different, but man Do I feel that rage about not being allowed back in the room? It was during Mandy's pregnancy Which it was during like COVID time so everything was weird and it was it's a different context because I understand that they have rules about like oh, let's make sure let's give the woman a chance to be Separate from the man who's accompanying her to make sure that like if she has a problem She can talk to us because that is it like that's a reality That's fine, but man every fucking time we did anything because Mandy had like a doctor's visit or more a week during her pregnancy And every time we'd be like well, can I go with her for this one? She's really anxious today because you're gonna jab a needle into our our fetus baby in her belly And they're like no, you wait out here. I'm like okay. Thanks. Great. I'm glad this isn't stressful for anyone I'm sure my wife will love handling this by herself. I fucking hate that again totally different context and I understand Generally, but oh my god, I hate that so much especially because like for this one All I didn't have to go with you She wanted to go with you. She was trying to like help or you know just make good for them to be like oh you you're not allowed Okay, yeah, they just mister like I mean they were very like just like no you'll wait here Yeah, well, they do it. They must do it a hundred times a day because every even at the maternity Doctor, they were just like you can't come in get out here like I was an idiot and I should have known that I'm like Did this my first time ever doing any of this? So I why would I know that okay? No, I feel that very deeply whatever that rage Molly felt that's the worst, but it's fine They didn't only almost did the wrong thing for you very close, but yeah, no, not quite They got you good enough, which is what I look forward my medical procedures. Yeah, love good enough Whenever I go to the doctor, I'm like hey, I got this lump. I don't really want you to put too much effort out But could you take a good enough look at it that I'll probably be fine and I really appreciate it. It's all my insurance will cover Well, they did good enough and then of course I had the the best least stressful no palpitation weekend ever And then I turned that thing in Sunday and then yesterday my chest was just I we were sitting down We were watching a movie while I was watching a movie and all of a sudden my chest was like remember me. Yeah, so And again, another like two hour episode She's just manufactured it. I don't know what it would be But you should have sought out experiences to like stress yourself out So when you take it off and turn it in you're just like God, what a weekend they'll have to believe me. I didn't know watching a movie would trigger I don't know like maybe I was warm like my cat was sitting on my lap. Was it a scary movie? No, it to be honest It was a few good men Like Tom Cruise movie from the 90s very yeah, it's not very scary at all very mild courtroom drama Like I would say it might have been because you were sitting down because that kind of have a pretty heavy effect on heart symptoms like that But I have fight it hard to imagine context in which I think you'd be standing up So I feel like that's your natural state of being well one of my mistakes I did go on a walk on Saturday and it was a nice warm day I got like halfway into this walk like 20 30 minutes into this walk and I like for whatever reason I had like a No cartoon flashback of like reading the paper me holding the paper And it's like try to avoid activities that may cause you to sweat and it's a hot kind of humid day And I'm halfway into this walk starting to like drip sweat from my bald head. I was like oh no I was like I got a walk back. I just like look and there's this hill and then the hill grew as I looked at it And I just was like real slow walking back like kind of how standing in the shade for a minute like yeah Wouldn't want to sweat that might get my stickies to unsticky. Why have I done this? I mean a little surprised you didn't just laid out into the shade and call Molly to come pick you up I'm not a quitter. I was gonna make it back Hey getting picked up and being brought back counts as making a back. I'm pretty sure I don't know I that doesn't sound like finishing the walk. Whoa finishing the walk is not what we were talking about Making it back home safely is what we were talking about. Anyway, that's it. As of right now I still occasionally have a little chest burp fluttery feelings. No pain. Everyone just keeps asking how the pain is It's like if I had to give it a number it'd be like a one or two. There's not really pain It's just like I kind of noticed that it feels like my chest drink a lot of soda and is burping in the wrong organs Oh, it's nothing. Oh, nothing at all. No pain. Just burping into my spleen. Just you know random gas pockets going into my liver It's it's like a weird fluttery fluttery. Like I don't feel I don't know my pancreas is jumping today But you know it's not bad Whatever I'm alive for now. So that's good. We're all alive for now. That's the promise. Thanks Joker. I don't know why I was I heard a problem coming out of your mouth at the edge of that one I thought he's gonna say pro that's the problem. All right. All right. All right. The fun. Now's a time not for fun I was having so much between being blown off by James and wearing a harmonica. I can't wait for the less fun Oh, you get bad to be blown off by me because I was struggling. Excuse me I'm gonna blow you off so good. Oh, man. I hope that's not a markiplier promise. We'll both we'll take turns blowing you off Exactly guys my heart can't take this so I was traveling internationally and that's my excuse for Not coming up with the perfect as crime which is something that I made a very bold proclamation that I would have ready And it would be like it's gonna be the perfect as crime This is where it would be awesome if I suddenly said just kidding and unleash the perfect as crime upon you And then like informational packets would be hand delivered to you in your office doors and so get ready for anything goes part whatever Never mind, say out. I even thought about doing that other episode where I was like the opposite of the one I did before, but I'm going to save that because now that we're doing weekly, there are more opportunities for things to have happened in the wider world, you know, international events and what not gaming news of various types that have occurred, horrible upsets that have plagued society that are being put to the forefront. It's time to break it all out because boy, howdy, I couldn't figure in the rest of the perfect discrim out. Again, I was traveling internationally, I did, I did a flight out to Thailand and that's a 20-hour journey and then did it right back, stayed one day and turned right back around. That's a lot of flying for one day. You didn't, you'd think if I was up on a plane, you would be able to just like brainstorm and think. They're right. Trapped in a room with nothing but your thoughts and a writing utensil. You're right and I sure did. I know that sounds rough, but I have to do the same thing this week, only it's eight hours and I'm driving and it's nationally, not internationally. I'm traveling nationally and I'm traveling less, but it's basically the same. Internet, not internationally, internationally. Internationally, in a side of a nation, not international, international. Just to give you guys some more time to get up there, you know those little delivery robots that prowl the streets that fall off the curb and go, please help me up, please help me up and nobody helps them because they're like, fuck you, we're a little robot. I haven't heard that. So I always thought those things were like little and weak and they could barely drive. Just in the past few weeks, those little delivery robots have smashed through bus shelters twice. Yikes. They've smashed through the glass of a bus shelter, just one of these things look like a lot. They look like very large remote controlled coolers. Yeah. Yeah. They're not like car size or anything, but that is stronger. I would have thought they'd be little pushovers. I would, it seems bad that they could cause that much damage. You want to see a video of it? I have one. Yeah. Yeah. It was a joke, but there was a whole, I think it was an NPR journalist who did a whole piece on this place in England, which was one of the first cities to implement this sort of like delivery robot scheme as, as like a citywide service kind of thing. And literally she, she has a, she did a very long like journalistic look at it. And there are, she had all these clips of them like falling over or getting stuck and be like, hello, I am stuck. Please pull me out of this mud. Like being really like kind of funny, but kind of noxious and none of them destroyed anything. Yeah. Well, the uprising has begun. So beware. That's not good. Yeah. Check this out. Oh no. Oh no. Does he realize oh, he blinks God, I hate that if they're going to have a blink, they should have them do like a little, like he's an animal, like he's all blink, blink. Whoa. I'm just carries on. So I'm hoping that this isn't like, because you never know these days with like AI videos and whatnot, because there's a little bit of a jump there, but it seems like it's not. It does have a weird sort of jump and it's real. It's kind of ton of aliasing, so it's pretty hard to tell. This honestly looks like it could be like OTR and Cincinnati. Do you know where this is? Is it some like St. Louis? This is Chicago, Chicago. Okay. It looks like some Midwest city. Oh, they ripped off the study to begin with. So it's right. That sounds right. Yeah. That tracks. Anyway, so that was one of two incidences. So watch out for those. They're apparently have way higher torque than you could possibly imagine. Low speed, extreme torque. They will break your kneecaps backwards and then keep going. I have also seen videos of those things getting absolutely fucking demolished in crosswalks. Because they do have to, they cross roads and they follow, they follow the rules of the crosswalk without any of the human intuition that keeps humans alive. And there are plenty of clips of people just not stopping and turning right on red and just like because they're little guys and they don't destroy cars, cars and destroy them. And I will say this, I will never order from one because I'd be embarrassed to meet it outside has anyone you guys or in the audience ever ordered from one of these things. I think the only context I can imagine that and then see this as the thing too is I was a lazy college kid, but I have seen that these are popular in like college towns where it's like you can order you order some food or you order some something from a convenience store type place and it brings it like brings it to your dorm because you live because you know, that's big business. There's however many hundreds of kids all living in one building. So it makes sense for them to, but even still, even in college, I was such a lazy college kid, I could still walk up the street to go to the gas station or walk down the other way to go to the Kroger or whatever, like it wasn't that, wasn't that hard and it would be very embarrassing. Also, this was presenting, but the place, the hall that Mark and I lived in our freshman year of college, do you remember the big fucking steps from Calhoun Street down to get into sit-off? Oh, yeah. Yeah. The two levels down there. I just love the image of one of those things getting to the top of those and to just be like, all the way down, trying to get to the dorm. You see would not be an ideal campus for those things. No. Every 50 feet. There's another stairs up or down. Our steep hill or, yeah, well, they've got the torque for hills, apparently. Yeah, I mean, they could just plow right through one of the walls or just, you know, now some of UC's buildings they could probably get through the walls, those are some old buildings in some spots. Do you see their tearing down the old cement sadness tower, whatever, like Crowley, whatever that one was called? Oh, no. Why? It looked like a Soviet prison. It's like the largest single, poor concrete structure, yeah, something like that. It was an expensive and huge pain in the ass to take down. I did hear that. It was obscenely expensive just to remove that building. It is a full of concrete. It is one big slab. That thing probably doesn't want to come apart. They're just like the wheels of progress. I don't know. They're getting rid of it so they can build some new building that'll look horrific or be really stupid in 30 years. I don't know. I think it was honestly as much as it's been really difficult to remove. I think it was so old that it was like parts of it were uninhabitable because it was no longer like it was no longer watertight and there were literal. There were like areas that were just quite quarantine off because they were flooding or every time it rained, it blew whenever rain. So as much as it's hard to take down, it's I think it was also just a really old shithole because it's just an old building, but hard to fix potholes on a building and it's hard to rewire something like that, probably. I've never seen a concrete patio slab last for more than a decade. I have a hard time imagining why a concrete building was ever a good idea, but so it goes, hey, you know, dams can last, but, you know, whatever. That's true. Now we're getting into the real competition, so anything goes, guys, entertain the audience at home. They are yearning, yearning for the comedy. They were promised it. Oh, that's what we're supposed to be. I've been doing this whole time. Oh, should I flip to see who goes first? Oh, I suppose. Headbob tails weighed, well, usually see other way, but I'm going to switch it up this time. Whoa. Oh, headbob. That's me. I'm headbob. Bob. Actually, you go now, even though we technically offered up this since and anything. Hey, I got good news. I love good news. Sora is shutting down or has been shut down. Yeah. Right. This is the sign. The bubble is bursting if you, I don't know, I'm verging on a Trump impression there. But if you don't know, open AI has many services and open AI is the company that runs ChatGPT. One of the things they had that was terrible to behold and shocking to look at was a service that would generate videos from text prompts so you can make a video of Will Smith eating spaghetti, so on and so forth. This was called Sora and it has been or is imminently will be shutting down. Those reasons for this are not as victorious as I might have hoped, but still, you know what? I feel like it's a win for society. This is probably the biggest, like most widely known AI product that I think I've seen going offline because it's not, I mean, the reason it's not good, it's because it's not profitable. But it's not like they had an epiphany and they were like, oh, this isn't good for people, is it? Oh, we are sort of stealing copyrighted works to, yeah, they don't give shit. They have not come around on any of those issues, but it's shut down because probably speculation is that open AI is looking to do an IPO and initial public offering essentially to become a publicly traded company. It's what you do to then have, you know, be on the stock exchange basically. And when you do that as a company, you have to open your books to the public. You have to open, or at least to investors, you have to open up your books and people have to look at how much money you're making, how much money you're spending, are you a profitable company? Apparently, while the results of it were pretty crazy, technically speaking, and pretty terrifying humanly speaking. Apparently it was costing them something like 50 15 million dollars a day just to run the compute power required to run Sora as a service, which just again, generates short video clips from words. So you just tell it what you want. I want a video of a person wearing a trench coat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I need to generate this video, whatever. But 15 million dollars a day, I can tell you, I don't think consumers are paying 15 million plus dollars a day to get videos that they can post on their Facebook page so that their grandma will like it or vice versa. Yeah. Because it was such a money burning garbage fire, they were like, let's shut that down. So that investors will actually maybe invest. But anyway, I just feel like that's generally a victory for human entities. Human? What's that word? Human entities. Human entities. I'm a human man. And that's a victory for us, human entities, human and human. I think this rides on the co-tales, not if, wait, unless you were going to say something about the Disney thing of the Disney thing. Okay. No. Okay. The Disney thing. So this is simultaneously coming along the legs of open AI had a Disney deal for like a billion dollars. It was like Disney was like, yeah, you can use all of our property to train your AI. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. And that was a week or two later, Disney was like, we're getting out of the deal. I can't imagine why. Not sure what terms, but also I'm like, who did Disney with thought it was a good idea? Like, yeah. Who allowed that? Disney is so protective typically of their stuff that that's wild. They were like, yeah. Use it. Yeah. Well, who would do something bad with an AI product? It's only use for good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. See how it's making the world better all around us? It's so good. They just didn't like the AI dizz hub, the one. I think he's going for a mashup of porn hub and Disney and he called it AI dizz hub. I totally came with you on that journey and I do. I respect how accurate that is because 100% the first query that they had, someone was like, oh, they have Disney IP in the in the video generation thing. They could Elsa sucking off like immediately. The absolute first thing that someone typed in was something horrific with some Disney property. 100%. Olaf's nose, but it's actually a penis. Olaf's sex robot, Dildo knows help me step Snowman. I'm melting. And then we got sued by Disney. Yeah. It's on the way. Allegedly. Allegedly. We're being allegedly sued by Disney. No, no. Allegedly all the things we said before. Oh, yes. Allegedly that stuff. I said. Yep. I gave you a point for AI dizz hub. So it's on the record that that was your idea, Wade. That's Wade's idea. Yep. Yeah. That was the Wade's point. Wade's idea. That's just go after him. Just go after him. Wade invented that. That's why it's an LLC for limited liability company. How quickly can someone change their name? You just switch with that old guy. That's true. The guy's like, I got the wrong test. I'm being sued by Disney. This is a terrible week. If AI kicks down your office door like you're arrested, you're just like, what, you must be looking for that younger way. Oh, look. I don't have any hair. Look, I won't. I am. Oh, I must be a guru. Oh, guru. Are they set a goal? Oh, yes. I must be a guru. Oh, guru. Fear me. Who? All right. All right, fun times over for you, Bob. You've got enough points. Not nearly. Wade, your turn. Let's turn the globe a little bit or go into Johannesburg, right over in South Africa. There's a Merrill candidate who's really trying hard at the city to root for her, vote for her. And by doing so, she decided to go snorkeling as a big campaign vote for me. But do you know why it's effective? Because where she went snorkeling was just like an average city street where they've had a water leak for years that they haven't fixed. So she went snorkeling in this big pool of just pissing out water that's been wasted for how many years? What? I don't know how long it's been going, apparently a very long time. She put some chlorine tablets in first and based on the pictures, it certainly doesn't look like it. She did look for fish in the muddy, gross looking water, but I don't think she found any. Oh, I think I got one. Another turn. Damn it. Oh, fuck it. Damn it. This place is known as the city of gold, apparently. The pool has been there for about three years. They call it a pool of water. And it looks like just mounds of dirt with like a house across the street. And there's like water kind of, maybe it's water she's splashing out. Look at this really shitty little like do not cross tape line to keep people out half collapsed. And then this picture. Oh, maybe I should share the picture. This is a single boot in the background. No good boot. There's a single boot. There you go. See her splashing. There's the little tape line and there's the boot. Oh, there's a boot. There's a boot. There's just a boot. I forgot the hole. She's running for mayor thing. This is just some rind. All right. She's running for mayor. She's running for mayor via AP news, which is all my comedy news. I always take it from them. That's really gross. I'm sure there's only good stuff in that hole. Is she in the lead? No clue. This was the event. The article just came out a few days ago, so I'm not sure that they've had any kind of election since that. All right. Okay. Well, that's horrifying. Well done. I'm going to give you point. Don't know why I did, but I'll give you one. Okay. All right. Back to you. Did you guys know that penguins fuck? Yeah. I have a loose idea of it. Wait. Do they lay eggs? They do lay eggs. I'm going to blow your mind about birds if you want to go down that path. I don't know the details of it, but I was just trying to make this article sound exciting. Guys, I figured out who's causing global warming. Oh, man. Everyone is all up in arms that it's corporations, viewing carbon monoxide and other greenhouse gases and record unprecedented levels and blah, blah, blah. They're mowing, they're mowing to carbon gases. I said spewing. Oh, spewing. I heard mowing. Okay. Never mind. Anyway, it's not them, guys. It's penguins. Specifically, king penguins that live in a sub-antarctic island chain have found a 40% increase in their breeding success rate thanks to warming temperatures. The change in climate has allowed their breeding to begin almost a month earlier than it normally does. And this has increased their breeding success rate, which has increased their proliferation as a species. It's 20,000 king penguins that live in a sub-antarctic island chain. They're doing this so that they can more effectively bang each other and make new generations of penguins. It's just science. Okay. And so they're fucking so much that it's causing global warming. Oh, no, they're just causing all of the extra emissions and stuff and oil. Oh, so they are. They're making it happen so that they can have more babies. They were concerned about the great king penguin replacement theory. So they're just dominating the world and doing whatever they have to do so that their species may prevail. Humans be damned. Humans and other inferior species, really, all of the rest of us. It's these penguins, guys. It's definitely not corporations or anything like that. It's definitely not humanity. It's these penguins because I can tell you what, climate change is not helping humans have any extra sex. We got that. We're pretty much maxed out on that. Sex maxing. Yeah. We're sex maxed. But these king penguins have figured out that causing climate change will get, I mean, a 40% increase in sex, 40% is pretty good. Imagine. Think about it a lot. It's a serious issue. And I think we really need to address it by which I mean, we should probably carpet bomb these penguins out of existence, and that will probably solve all our problems. I've been on social media too long. My first thought was how many people are going to be like, when you recent 40% more sex imagine, they're going to be like, well, 40% more of zero, still zero. Where you on social media that's populated by all of our parents. You know, Twitter said to only dads who tweet mode. A bunch of just sad like, oh, man, a lot more sex. It could multiply my amount of sex, it's still zero. Ways only social media is just our slash divorce debts. Set a subreddit. I'm going there right now. And 100% is. It's got to be, that sounds like something real. I'm sure it's a happy, fun place, got 10,000 weekly, oh, man, it's people asking for help. Oh, that's not funny. It's supposed to be funny. Come on, reddit. I didn't expect it to be funny. Who would have thought it would be funny? Oh, man, it's talking a lot about jobs, poor Christians, all right, listen. I wasn't looking for actual divorce dads who are, look, I was thinking, we've talked about them before. Graham Barrett on TikTok and how he opens packs of divorce dad cards. That's what I was thinking our slash divorce dad's would be, all right, where's the funny one? Slash divorce comedians, real divorce dads, or I don't know, whatever it is. No, just just divorce comedians. Well, it's not just all of them. Oh, maybe. Look, if Brian Regan can't make it work, I don't know who can. So I've seen that guy here, good things for me too. He is probably one of the defining stand-ups who shaped the type of jokes that I make on a daily basis, so. Yeah, same. You have all you have him to thank for all of this. You're welcome. Maybe that's why I haven't watched. He's going to be in Ridgefield Connecticut. Connecticut, what happened to both Connecticut? He's going to be in Connecticut. Connecticut. Ridgefield, I saw CT and I was like, God, I hope this is Connecticut. He's going to be in Ridgefield CT. I rolled, gambled, and I made it. I mean, your other options are what California and Colorado? Look, I don't know how many sea states there are. You guys sing the little song. Look, it's actually Texas. It's the commonwealth of Texas. Come on, get with it. Common Texas. How about common Texas? You know, 1580 BCT before common Texas. So they keep time down there. Oh, the sweet calendar joke, thanks. Yeah, all right, cool. How many points is that worth you? Oh, man, a million and a half. Me just took the lead. All right, wait, keep it going, wait, whose turn? Yeah, it's wait. All right, listen, we talked about some horny penguins. What about horny steel pipes? Because there's a pipe in Japan that grew 32 feet overnight and nobody knows how. What, wait, what? A giant underground pipe rose 10 meters out of a construction site overnight. And everyone was like, who did, who did this? As of the release of this information, which was a couple weeks ago, no one knew why it happened. Is this in Tokyo? No, in Osaka. In Osaka, there was a steel pipe. Except for how wide the pipe, it looks like a bridge support. This is a big pipe. Something happened that caused it to rise 32 feet out of the ground. And everyone was like, I did some work last night. Show me the pipe. You see this pipe? You see this pipe right here? Oh, what the fuck? Apparently this part was like down here. And it just whoop overnight. This isn't just like a pipe going horizontally. This is a pipe. This is a pipe that looks like, I don't even know what to equate this to. A tunnel? It's like the Willy Wonka elevator, just the thing that is around the elevator holster. You know, the holster. Yeah, yeah, the elevator holster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Came up out of the ground. I think they're just leaving one important piece of information out of this article that makes it all make sense. When it came up out of the ground, it happened overnight, so not a lot of people were around. But when it came up from emanating from all around, but also from nowhere, it was just this classic sound that just went, oh, that would have had a much better description of what it is. And then an Italian guy jumped out of it. Is this a big promotional stunt for the Super Mario Galaxy movie? Super Mario TV. Chris Pratt's going to come climbing out of the pipe any minute now. Hey guys, it's me Mario. Wahoo! Hey Luigi, you like, you know, it's a high, you're, high jumper. Wow, brother or it's much more serious. And all people from Italy are evacuating to Japan via this pipe right now. Osaka is the new Rome. A tan Italian guy climbs up out of the pipe and goes, "Ah, Adios Mio, but an Italian, help me!" We will trade you our pizza for some hobot traits of pizza and hobotchi. That's what the hobotchi sounds really good right now. If you guys want to go hobotchi, let's go after videos recording. Please. Oh, can we record videos at hobotchi? Can we just do an episode that's just our reaction to hobotchi? Just a camera set up and we're just like, the flame or whatever. And we're just like. Have you seen that video of like, it's a bunch of guys just that threw like a Molotov down a long, big, empty pipe. And so it's some kind of mesh on top. So some of us standing over and they're filming down and you see it go down way, way far. Super far down. Just falling for like five, six seconds straight. And then it hits the bottom and. Like this wall of flame comes up and all the guys are just like. Just like naturally. Just because it just comes out as a human thing, just. It was very monkey-like. That's 100% how I would react if I was standing over that what had happened. I'm not even. No judgment whatsoever, I get that. Yeah, just something like that reminds me that we came from apes. Would they drop it like a propane pipe? Why is it a big boom? I must have done like a big dig hole from a who knows what. Yeah, had some gas in the butt. It was wasn't a good idea. I assure you this, especially standing over it. That was fucking awesome. What are you talking about? I know from history of growing up that Molotovs were never a good idea because I had some friends that were like, "I don't want to have to start a campfire. What if?" And then it always went downhill from there. Yeah, there's a lot of awesome bad ideas. Great name for an episode too. We should definitely do awesome bad ideas. We should give out awards for them. Maybe name them after some classical scientist of some sort. All right, awesome bad ideas. I'm calling that for a few trips and that's great. That's great. Oh, I didn't realize you were dibzing that. I'm dibzing it. All right, well, well, if you want to beat me to the punch, I'm not going to be too upset. I won't remember. Unless it's the next episode. I don't even remember what the thing that I'm supposed to do, the opposite of the thing that I did before, you know. I don't even remember that. I don't even know what you just said. I don't either. I found a new sport for us to participate in. It's not what it sounds like. It's called the wife carrying race. We all have those now. And I'm pretty sure our wives would let us carry them. And I'm pretty sure they would encourage us to race while doing it. Yes, they would. If you win the race, you get a barrel of ale. I mean, where do we sign up? This sounds pretty awesome. All you have to do is go to, yes, this is a real place. Dorking in Surrey, which is in England. If you go to Dorking on the right Sunday of the year, you can participate in the wife carrying race. It's a real place. It's not too terribly far outside of London from the quick glance of the map that I took a minute ago. This is not how I expected them to be carrying. I'd like to find a picture of this. Yeah, I know. It's not about aesthetics. It's about efficiency, Mark. It's inglorious. It's about sending a message. I don't know what the message is. I was like, a dog chasing a car. I guess wait, are you looking up at the picture of this? Oh, I see it. The more I think about it, I'm more like, yeah, I guess. Be a lot more awkward if they flipped around the other way. So for listeners, also because I'm not sharing the picture anyway, the picture is of a guy standing pretty upright. And his wife is like face down over his shoulders. And his head is like between her legs. So her legs are out in front of him. And he's holding your legs. And then her top of her body is hanging down his back, kind of like a backpack. But then she's grabbing around. So she's holding onto her own legs. And sort of like helping him carry and balance. It's effective. I think the worst part of this is, it's a quick race. But the woman has to be basically upside-down the whole time. You must get a terrible head rush. If he stops all of a sudden, she's going to break her nose. How hard do you think his ass is? I don't know. Based on what I'm carrying and running, probably pretty firm. I don't think this picture is of the winning couple. But the winners this year were two finish. I think it's finished, right? Yes, two finish people, team-u, two-venant, two-venant, two-venant, oh man, no chance. And the Hata, Leinonen, Leinonen, 0% chance, those are right. Both finish, apparently a finished couple, in one minute and 45 seconds. Which is pretty fast. It's not a very long race. We could do distance racing. I feel like I'd be better at distance racing. I'm not really a sprinter, you know? No one has disadvantaged at this. There's no height advantages. There's, I feel like we would all be on pretty good footing. I mean, any, if anyone's a disadvantage to me, because I probably outsam in the worst shape of us in terms of just like running ability. I actually don't know. You've been walking every day, right? I swear, I have not done any cardio at all. Because if I do any cardio at all, I am dead for the rest of the day. I go up a hill and I'm out of breath. It's truly terrible and I need to fix that. I hear if you go up enough hills, it gets easier. And you get to listen to Kate Bush while you do it. I get that one, but I'm sure it's funny. That's that stupid stuff. Was that from Strager Things? Well, that's where it's known for them, either, yeah. Oh, oh. If I only could. But Kate Bush? I'd be running up that hill. I get you, okay, yeah. Say it, God, we had no episode where I got critiqued for saying God so many times. Do it. But I didn't get critiqued. Who critiqued? God? Did God critique you? God God halfway through episode was like, "I can't, man, I fucking can't." But I'm gonna skip this one. Is this asshole gonna keep doing callbacks this whole time? I've listened to every other episode. I'm gonna skip this one. I can't do it anymore. It's fucking guy. And neither is my son. Jesus, pack up. We're going home. I'm gonna confuse him with another way at the hospital just to show him who's boss. Oh, that bitch. Let there be 10 ways of varying ages at this, or ex-visit. Let everyone for the rest of his life think that he's 70 years old. And people say Old Testament God isn't the real one. I do it. All right. Wait, do you have one more to close it up? Did you know in New Zealand, you can't own a gun before 8- and you can't possess marijuana or distribute marijuana unless it's medical. But apparently if you're a dumb teenager, you can accidentally donate your gun in marijuana to charity. So there were two teenagers in New Zealand that were apparently getting their car fixed and they had a backpack full of goodies that they actually left right outside of a charity donation center. So whatever someone saw the backpack, they're like, oh, someone donated a backpack and they went to go through the backpack and found a lot of weed and air pistol. What else was in the bag? Oh, it's some other shit in there, whatever, too. I think money, I think there's a bag of money and I think the person who found the bag and found all this stuff was like, I don't think we can put this up in our charity place. So I'm just gonna call the police. The teens came back later, very upset. They were very agitated that they left all of their weed gun and money at the charity donation center. I don't think it ended well for them. If I had to guess, I don't know the full result, but how old were they? I don't know if it gives their exact age. I just get teenage, I think they're under 18, but they're in New Zealand, so that means a day older than us, but younger. Not great. A day older than us, but they spin the other way when you punch them. Yes, what? That's funny, that's where the point is. (laughs) That's a hemisphere joke right there, baby. Oh, fuck. Ah, good one there, good one. I think because they're under 18, I think that a lot of the details are probably sealed whatever because they're juvenile. What's the gun law in New Zealand? My only knowledge about it is that it's fairly strict and I believe an air pistol is not necessarily like a, not like an air soft gun, but it does shoot like, well, it shoots with air, it's air propulsion, but it does shoot like bullets still, not like plastic BBs or even metal BBs. I could shoot bullet shaped projectiles potentially, but I'm not 100% sure. And I believe New Zealand has very strict laws about gun ownership and registration and stuff, but I don't actually know for sure. I would imagine so it says that people under 18 can't possess air pistols without a license and adult supervision. So, they also found a police scanner in their bags. They had a police scanner, drugs, money, air pistol. Oh, okay, this is a criminal duo. I mean, these guys just wanted to be cops. They were like, oh, we'll listen to the police scanner and we'll have this weapon just for safety and they must have listened in and beat the cops to a drug bust and apprehended the drug dealers and they were gonna take all that stuff to the, I'm sure that's what was happening. - Eros, they're heroes. And they were hanging outside of a charity so you know they're good people. - Yeah, what kind of criminal hangs out outside a charity shop? That's cop activity right there. - Yeah, that's cop, that's hero activity actually. - Yeah, I know what they're doing. - Air rifles, I knew could be powerful. There's a video called an air rifle that's more powerful than a firearm and I was like, there's no way. And then I see them shooting it on them. This metal target is like, it's a 72 caliber air rifle. - Two caliber. I don't even know what that means but I know it's big. - 70, yeah, wait. Does that mean it's bigger than a 50 caliber like sniper rifle? 'Cause those are big. - Yeah, 0.72 inches. - So I guess a caliber is like, that's what that is. - That's like a small artillery shell, what the fuck? - You should see the ones that shoot air artillery shells. - Air artillery, nice. - Thanks, thank you. I'm so scared you're gonna beat me to the joke 'cause I was like, air artillery. Just wait for Bob to give me an end. - I'll give you an end. - Give me another pity point. - Hey, pity win is still a win. - All right, I'll give you air artillery. Okay, okay, I got you, buddy. All right, we're gonna wrap that up there. Well done, boys and boys. Bob, you got dog hand man? - Dog hand medicine. - Dog hand medicine man. That's right, dog hand man. That's what it is. All right, you got Wade Dismissor, anal probulator. Goodbye, Crosley Tower. Sora shutting down, yay. Global warming from Penguins. Mario pipe, wife carrying race. - Hemisphere joke. - Yeah, got that hemisphere point. - You got total of nine points there. Wade, now do we count this interrupting point? - I don't know if the episode started. - Baby, did I interrupt again? Do I get a point for that? - No, it was a minus point. - It was a minus point. - Oh shit, no, I didn't do the rewind. - Yeah, no, I think Wade's right. I think it counts. I think it's on something there. - All right, well, I guess it's in there. So that's a minus one on the interruption. - Oh, I fell for it. - You got minus zero for think about what you've done. I don't remember what that was. - That could be a lot of things. - Bad, this was, this was what started off real rough for you, didn't it? - Yes, it did, but you got the James Pitty Point which negates the interrupting thing. So we're gonna go from your EKG champion. Molly didn't tell me it was important. I was hoping you'd be one of the hairless ones. - Yeah, she was. - AI Dishub, which your lawsuit is in the mail. Snorkel and poop water, Japan pipe, Italian evacuation tube, very funny. And New Zealand and air artillery. It's nine to nine. - Also. - Oh. - That include my minus one? - Yes, that did. - I shouldn't have let you have that air artillery point. - The air artillery really got you there. - I shouldn't have let me have that minus one. - Okay, well he'll spin it, I'll go to the viewers, we'll get one spin and then it'll be a tie. - Oh, I have to do that. - I'm just saying you're like, "I can't wait for Mark to pull the wheels up." (laughing) - Right, right, right, that's my thing, I do that. - We've gotten rusty only doing one episode a week. - I know, after how much we were recording for two weeks, especially when Mark was like, "Oh, I'm gonna be bathing in blood for the next three weeks, so we'll have to get ahead." Doing one a week feels like, "I don't see you guys for months at a time." - Yeah, but lots to catch your point, it's great. - Yeah, that's fun. - Even though we've actually been doing games and still spending time recording. - I told you I was gonna talk about something before we hit record that I didn't even talk about. And now I'm not gonna. - Are a saver for the next one. - If you don't win. - All right, the total number of spins shall be - Oh, two, two of them. - Would you like to add, sir? - Made the judge make this face. Made the judge make the Mark face. - We're not gonna, we're gonna, what is the Mark face? - Also, just so it's on recording, I'm gonna slowly scroll this list 'cause I didn't notice, and I don't know if it's always been like this, but I click this shuffle button every time we spin the wheel, just to mix 'em up. The other button in this pair of buttons is clear all. (laughing) - Oh, God. - We're the one fucking click. I could just stop hovering over. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no! - Anyway, so I'm just gonna get this on video. I'm just gonna scroll this list. - That's good, that's good, yeah. - I'm sure nothing bad will ever happen. We're on 101 entries and I've still never accidentally clicked the button that deletes all of the entries, but I'm sure it'll be fine. - And there's just save that for us somewhere 'cause it sounds like we won't still know where it is, but save that for us. - All right, two spins it is. - Yeah, see, anything. - Oh. (laughing) - It's so funny, it's just that. - Hey, Wade, you made me make that face 'cause of the poop water. That was literally, it was like, oh, yeah, that's good. - No. - Have we ever had the days at addition come up? - I don't think so. That was a less than 1% chance of that happening. Way back in the beginning, when we had less entries, I think it happened, but it's been a long time. - Well Bob, here comes your point. - A point for Bob and a tie for Mark. A point for Bob and a tie for Mark. Come on, wheel. - Oh, lie points don't count. We don't have any lie points. Does that mean we respin or does that mean it's useless? I forget how we've done this in the past. I'm good for a respin. I feel like if it doesn't apply, which this doesn't, there are no lie points. - Bob and I would have taken the win. - Well, I guess it doesn't count. Move on, we've won. - Most personal attacks. - I got attacked the most, I don't know who it is. - Yeah, but is this to the attacker or a tacky? - I don't feel like I lobbed a lot of personal attacks, but I do feel like Wade got picked on a little bit in this episode, so I'm confused. - So Bob, you have a point for Wade Dismissor. I'd say James made the most personal attacks, but either Wade was getting attacked. - I think this usually goes to the person who does the attacking. - Okay, if it does, then that would be to Bob and it would be a tie. But you're the judge, I guess you rule how you want it to go. - I mean, I think the word of law here applies to most personal attacks, meaning that they did the most, which would be Bob for having Wade Dismissor there. So I think I have to call that a tie. - My son did that, I get credit for that. That's true. Given that he's half your DNA, therefore half you are still worth one whole point though, right? - Yep, yep, yep, it sure is, is it? - Okay, I thought you were about to lead that into, and so it's one half of a point. - Yeah, I could convolut this to get out of the wheel, but I'm gonna-- - Does that mean we have to do the winner wheel spin? - Yeah, brave. Mark is feeling brave. That is-- - And for certain, my head says it's at 23%. - I have a rundown, it's 23%. - So plus 2%, so at a solid 25. - I think we had after, no way. - We had after, yeah. - So 23% of 360 is 82.8, 83. - That somehow looks a lot more reasonable than 87. - That's more like what I thought it was gonna be. - Let's throw down, gentlemen. - The wheel of fate. (suspenseful music) (suspenseful music) - Oh, come on, man. Oh, God. Oh, my God. It was not even close and that it was actually back to one man show. What the fuck? - Oh. I thought that was a man. - All right. That's brutal. Well, Bob, good luck. I'm not even gonna be in town to help write it. - That's not good. I'm the worst at writing these things. - Oh, well. The Bob Mark show. That's okay. All right, my own show. - Mark, you're right. Mark, you're right, you're on one man show. - All right, my own show. - You get you. - I'll get me. - It resets to 6% then. Is that the deal? - Yes, it resets to 6%. I could have been completely arbitrary in my judging of those previous wheel spins. I feel like this is my entirely my own fault. Nobody wins. Well, I guess, wait, does this kind of me win or not? - Yeah, I think it's nobody wins. - Yeah, nobody wins. Or both of you guys win. I can't remember. - Whoever does that in the subreddit, tell us. - Tell us how we do our own shit, please. - Tell us how this show works. - God, we need to print out Bible Constitution, like little Bible-sized constitutional pocket constitution. - Yeah, it's a living constitution by which I mean, I don't remember. - Anyway, congratulations, guys. You somehow did it. I think you did it. You did it. You both did it. - We did it? Is this a good thing that we had that had happened? - Mutual, neutral speech. - Neutrally assured destruction. - Wait, your speech first. Mark, listen, great episode. It was weird from the start. I knew things were weird last week when my heart was acting up and James dismissed me. It only makes sense we'd have a weird ending on this episode. So prepare yourselves for not weird, but just one man to show, I guess. - Yeah, well done. - I'll be okay. - I'm fine. Ignore the fact that I miss the beat button there for a solid dead second. I'm fine. Everything's fine. - Whenever I face you, we're doing this. Is this a bittersy die? - No, that's just the face I make when it feels like I'm about to cough up my tongue. - Oh, I don't like that. - Neutrally speech. A non-loser speech. We'll call it. Honestly, I feel a little bad. I feel like the winner's wheel is always a gamble and Mark was very fair in his point judgments and was very. Didn't do like I do and we's a lot of things and make sure he doesn't have to deal with the wheel, but it's because the wheel should have been in his favor. And he really just, he really just got it right on the chin there, but you're a trooper and an honest man and probably more honest than I've ever been on this show. So you have to respect it, but I have to feel a little bad because you didn't deserve it. But we don't all get what we deserve, do we? - No, we do not, I think. But hey, next week, I'm gonna get something. - Aren't you? - Yeah, I. yes. It would probably be good. - Probably, probably either that or we'll forget. - Yeah, I'm gonna text five minutes before I'm gonna be like, "Hey, I'm gonna be late and also who's hosting?" - Fuck, no, no. - That sounds right. - It does. All right, thank you everybody so much for listening and are watching to this podcast. Be sure to follow the podcast for more episodes. You do that by clicking the follow button wherever that is. And also click the follow button on these lovely gentlemen. It's in the middle of their faces. If you can't find it, then you need to update your device because there's an important security enhancements that you probably need. Have a good day. Listen more distractable, podcast out.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The episode features absurd and satirical content, including fictional events like penguins causing global warming through increased breeding.
  2. Wade is mocked for being dismissed by James, who ignores him during a goodbye, highlighting interpersonal tension and awkwardness.
  3. A heart monitor incident reveals a mix-up at a hospital, where the wrong patient is admitted and the experience is both stressful and comically mismanaged.
  4. The show critiques AI technology, noting that OpenAI’s Sora video generation service was shut down due to high costs and ethical concerns, including alleged Disney copyright violations.
  5. A bizarre campaign by a Merrill candidate involves snorkeling in a long-unfixed city water leak, turning a mundane situation into a satirical political moment.
  6. The team humorously links climate change to king penguins, suggesting their increased breeding is the real cause of warming.
  7. A Japan pipe incident—growing overnight—leads to a fictional Italian man escaping and a global panic, blending surrealism with absurdity.
  8. A real-world event in New Zealand, where teens accidentally donate guns and marijuana to charity, sparks a comedic narrative about legal violations and unintended consequences.

Summary:

The episode of "Destractable" blends satire, absurdity, and absurdly specific facts into a chaotic, comedic narrative. It opens with a surreal take on penguins causing global warming through increased breeding, followed by a satirical breakdown of human interactions, such as Wade being ignored by James during a farewell. A heart monitor mishap at a hospital is recounted with dark humor, revealing bureaucratic errors and personal embarrassment.

The show then turns to AI, criticizing OpenAI’s Sora video service for being unprofitable and ethically questionable, especially after a Disney-related lawsuit. A political joke features a candidate snorkeling in a flooded city street, while another absurd incident involves a massive pipe in Japan growing overnight. The narrative escalates with a fictional Italian man emerging from the pipe and a global evacuation, culminating in a New Zealand story where teens accidentally donate illegal items to charity.

The segment ends with a mix of real and fictional events, including a wife-carrying race in England and a “hemisphere joke” about age. Throughout, the hosts use exaggerated, over-the-top scenarios to entertain, blending deadpan delivery with wild, illogical premises. The tone remains consistently humorous, relying on irony, misunderstandings, and surreal twists to deliver a chaotic yet engaging experience.

The episode concludes with a tie in points, highlighting both the absurdity of the content and the show’s commitment to comedic overreach.

FAQs

AI Dizz Hub was a fictional mashup of Disney content and porn, proposed by Wade as a joke. It gained attention when the first generated video showed Olaf's nose turning into a penis, leading to a lawsuit from Disney.

OpenAI shut down Sora because it cost around $15 million per day to operate, making it unprofitable. The shutdown was likely due to plans for an IPO, as the service was not financially viable despite generating controversial and impressive AI videos.

Delivery robots in England were reported to have smashed through bus shelter glass, demonstrating unexpectedly high torque. This raised concerns about their safety and potential for causing significant damage in urban environments.

King penguins in sub-Antarctic regions have seen a 40% increase in breeding success due to warming temperatures, leading to more frequent breeding and increased population growth—ironically linked to climate change despite being a misattribution of the cause.

The wife carrying race is a real event in Dorking, England, where couples carry their spouses face-down over their shoulders in a race. Winners complete it in under two minutes, with the race being physically awkward but effective.

A steel pipe in Osaka rose 32 feet overnight, with no known cause. The event sparked speculation, including theories that it was a natural phenomenon or a prank, though no official explanation was provided.

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