Any Way The Wind Blows ft Colum Tyrrell | Son of a Boy Dad #451

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We're working with High Noon, and it's going to taste great. You're going to have a good time chatting it up, a little bit of crack, a little bit of the crack. That's it. A little bit of the crack while we're having some High Noons. Sounds fun. It does sound fun, and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what that word means over there. Although I've never entirely understood it. But what I do know is that High Noon is a drink that I absolutely love to drink. Whether I'm on the beach in the summer or mowing my lawn in the fall. Firing the painting lady. Whatever I'm doing, it all goes down better with a nice cold can of High Noon. I'm a big fan of all the flavors, personally. I like the vodka. You're a tequila guy. Love the tequila. Love all the flavors. I like mine over ice, but I'm not sneezing at a High Noon. If you're handing me one, I'm guzzling it. You know, I'll tell you around. When High Noon came in to partner with us, I was pretty excited because this is one of those situations where I've been a fan of the product for a long time. And it's not hard to sing their praises because it's entirely genuine. It's a natural fit. And if you want to learn a little bit more, go to HighNoonSpirits.com. And enjoy the episode. All right, ready? All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is November 4th. It is Wednesday. It is 1220. Are you laughing at what they just talked about or how sticky his hands are? I'm just looking at Colm. Colm always makes me laugh. Oh, good. Thanks, Francis. I don't mean that in a mean way. I just know that whatever you're about to say is funny. Oh, yeah. You think so? My hands aren't sticky at all. Well, you didn't actually text me back again. Second time in our relationship. This is two times you haven't texted me back. What are you talking about? You'll have to. I've got you on a short leash right now. I said, hey, can I come over for some coffee? Like the new thing. Like the new thing. And he was like, yeah, absolutely. Anytime you want. I go, what's the address? Oh, no. Empty promises, Francis, Mr. Empty. Oh, you're going to hate how this is about to go for you. What happened? Did you send the address? You said, yo, man, did you stop touring? What's going on? Oh, no. This is before that. It's a really nice text. And I said, hey, pal, I'm just taking some time, but it's intentional. And we talked about that for a little bit. And you said, good to know the pod's been great. And I said, we want you on. You said, I'd love to. Next month, I've got a ton of big pods lined up. It'll help with the algo. And I said, what about Monday? Okay. I think I sent that without having read or we sent them simultaneously. And you said, I'm out of town until the second. Unfortunately, I said, damn, okay, all good. Are you on the road? That's so much time away. Ha ha. You said, on the road every weekend, busy for no money, the opposite of your life. Compliments. And I said, well, you're a damn good comic. That's pretty cool. I watched your Kill Tony set today. Pretty wild. Just so good. You said, it's pathetic. Ha ha. But I need views. Just being privately so self-effacing about everything. That should be like everything I ever say. It's pathetic. Ha ha. But I need the views. That's my whole life. My whole life is just, it's pathetic. Ha ha. That's like, I type in I and the Apple phone, iPhone finishes it for me. I need the views. Yeah, no, we know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need the views. There's nothing in here about coffee. See, that's how long ago it was. That's how long ago it was. Every single time you've texted me, I have responded. We have had an issue one time, too, because we had an issue one time, because I text you asking you something, nothing back. Then he texts me like nothing had happened. Oh, yeah. Hey, should I audition for the seller? And I go, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to help this guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, did I really say that? And then a week later, he goes, no text back. And I go, oh, you want to play the no text back game, Francis? We have a scoreboard here. Yeah, yeah. Bro, those must be DMs. I remember, no, this was a long time ago. Because I. This was before you even played the seller. He's at the top. He's at the top. The earliest text that I have with you is February 21st of 2022. Everyone's watching. Everyone, look, scrambling. If you're ever playing poker, this is the face he makes when he's lying. Hold on a minute. Take it. Now I'm going to go. Get him out of the game of Texas. Hold him. You'll rinse him when he makes this face. Should I fold? I'm going to go into our DMs. We must be communicating there. Maybe it was on Twitter. My phone deletes texts after 12 months. Was it on WhatsApp? Doesn't yours? Doesn't everybody do that? No, I got mine set to forever. No way. That's crazy. Yeah, that's a lot of that's like a mental. What if someone dies, though, and you want to go back and like repost their text messages like you were best friends? Bro, since I. What about the cloud? What about the chat? You create this. Yeah. Make it look like me and Kobe knew each other. I'll be very complimentary about my jump shot. OK. Oh, I was right. The shirt is my last engagement. No, I found GoPro. This is it was all in the DM. Ah, so this doesn't count then. Well, no, you were right. The call comedy. Our thing was there. But what was the thing before that? It's just us constantly going back and forth. I'm looking for this coffee thing you're talking about. He would never pass up the opportunity to give you a cup. Cup of Joe. I was I because I saw you doing your little knock, knock, doing your little thing. Cup of Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't see anything about. I'm seeing. Color. Rogies. There's a lot of purple on Francis's side, though. To his credit. To his credit. He's Francis is writing you books. I didn't know you guys had such like a personal relationship like that. Francis is. I got it. I got to reach out to something. You two. You two are busy. Don't throw me in this. You're cycling all around, flushing or whatever you're doing. I was trying to get you on. You're on a bike in the Bronx. For some reason. I'm always on a fucking bike. Fucking dangerous. Oh, come with me. A war-torn the Bronx. I witnessed a drive-by at 2 p.m. on a Monday. On a Wednesday. It's like cosplay is having a dangerous life. Are you still doing that? Going around? Yeah, I'll go around. How many places have you got left? I mean, there's a million places in New York. What do you got? You found it? Here's the problem. All right. You responded to a story that I posted. And you get a lot of replies. And so you wrote, brother, let me come over for an espresso sometime, please. And I said, dude, come over anytime. Fantastic. And then you wrote, I'd love to. Where in New York do you live? And I didn't respond to that. And I think that probably had to do with it because it was a story response. Yeah, right. Well, you didn't want to. All right, buddy. You think you think I'm one of these college chicks? Buddy, buddy, come on now. Francis, I know Frankie. I know you. I know you a long time, buddy. You think I'm one of these hinge dolls? The next time. Hit me with the disappearing message you hit me with. If you want to come over. For coffee. That needs to be a text, not a DM. Okay, fair enough. Now, but I don't even know where you live. I don't even know what part of. Brooklyn. You're in Brooklyn? I'll tell you on our. I'll give you my address on our text message. Not story responses on Instagram DMs. I'd love to come over. Text him right now. Text him your address right now. Do it right now. And we should do an episode. I was thinking this earlier. We should do an episode from your apartment, Francis, with the coffee machine. Okay. Make some coffee. As a guest. Yeah. Like, mic it up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just put it in. Just ask it a question. Leave a blank. - Silence. - How was the neighborhood? Is it good, bad? What are we talking? - What do you think? probably the best if i was to guess yeah that's what they both yeah yeah are you ready yeah how'd you how'd you nail that what about really anywhere else that screams francis to me in brooklyn i've lived in a couple places in brooklyn yeah i lived in brooklyn heights for a long time heights is also the second i love brooklyn heights well you wouldn't have said williamsburg uh williamsburg's a little too you know yeah it's expensive it's fucking rich now yeah rich kids with they got like louis vuitton stores there now i know but that's like that's not oh that's not that's not you that's not me that's new money i don't like that that's influencer money tech yeah exactly yeah a couple of hippie chicks i don't think i've ever been to williamsburg no i've only been to brooklyn really a handful of times honestly not really my not really my scene out there no i don't think you've gone deep enough i think you've been on the on the edges of brooklyn no no i've been deep where i've been to like bushwick really for comedy of course holy fuck yeah come on now barely made it out barely made it out i've done some shows in brooklyn i i think i've only done a couple though and they were all really i did really bad on them so i just was like i'm never going back these brooklyn crowds i did like uh i did like uh when when mullen and adam friedland did that show together hot moms or whatever yeah yeah what was it funny moms funny moms yeah funny moms yeah i did a show myself yeah i bombed bad at that show nice it was like dudes in the crowd holding like skateboards and shit you were there it was june and everyone wasn't being yeah yeah there's only two genders well it was like it was like they did it they like went up together similar how we used to run it over at tuesday social yeah and they went up together and then i had to go first and it was like well they all saw who they wanted to see yeah and now they got to see me it was the day newton john died and someone was like in the crowd was like of course they should have canceled the show yeah yeah they're like through the whole vibe off that bitch from greece died oh you said that oh yeah yeah someone in the crowd was like that bitch from greece died and nick was like nick thought they were talking about stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember that that's so funny it's like we won yeah i mean they were on stage for like what it was and it was so funny and it was all they were killing and then you went up they had like a script like someone gave them a script and nick and adam like acted out the whole script wow and then i had to follow that and just bomb you went you went to a seven show ever yeah let me show these kids got rocked rocked immediately and then i left my deb it was like a trans bar and i left my debit card and i just never picked i just canceled it you don't go back to that no way unless you want to go debit card as though he had other things at the time that was what he used i was trapped years yeah i was locked he didn't have a credit card yeah rockland trusted to send me another yeah you had a poor week yeah yeah those crowds they probably just it was like a lot of come down fans yeah yeah and they probably thought that no matter what they were funnier than you yeah and they probably were honestly at the time like you weren't right i was very young when i did it yeah they're all there for nick and then yeah he finishes little nick part of the show and i was like here's some idiot you've never heard yeah yeah so oh man well i i uh obviously you know your special just came out oh yeah please please that's why i'm here please check out my new special bells and whistles it's on youtube why don't you ever comment on it on youtube on my own stuff yeah i'm banned well i come on on my own i can pin my own comments on youtube but i'm banned from other people's channels somehow i don't know exactly you must have said some hateful shit no i actually don't think i did i don't know a single person on the planet that's banned from all youtube comments i can't i know it's funny because i i don't even know what it is because i leave comments and like no one's engaging at all and then i i go on to my fucking burners and i go see i can't find it yeah yeah i think it just automatically goes to like uh restricted or something like you have to go through with the yeah maybe you have to like go through with it yeah i don't know i don't know dm the producers or something and be like hey buddy leave my comment my comment set up my comment is this sucks ass yeah i keep seeing you tweeting being like please leave a comment i can't yeah yeah it helped actually the first couple of times because loads of people were leaving the comments but i'm definitely shadow banned or whatever on the comment what did you say you must have said something i don't know if i might have been spamming my own content like i might have just said hey thanks for having me on the pod go check this out but i also did get my youtube banned like this is this is this is what i actually i don't know what i said because if you watch the special i'll talk i talk about it a little bit but there was they just got rid of it because of an episode of my pod but they never said what it was now one of the things i said was that something about the jews running something about the jews running the media for sure right but that was like tongue in cheek that was a joke and then i also said that we i said that at the end of the year i said billionaires we should have a thing with billionaires where they we put their names on the hat and we pull a billionaire out of a hat and then this is before by the way live execution we live stream the execution and we all get to watch it at home pay-per-view all the money the billionaire's money and all the money we raise goes towards children's hospitals oh so billionaires are allowed to continue but one of them at random yeah gets publicly murdered i don't hate that i think another will happen next week i mean you got a pretty low chance of being picked too how many billionaires are there like a thousand maybe there's like three thousand probably thousands two thousand would be my guess two thousand i think this is kind of america this is a good idea two thousand or no three thousand three thousand four hundred twenty yeah and you could be a billionaire and that's fine yeah but one of yours will be fucking beaten with a shovel at dallas cowboys stadium rodeo yeah yeah a real fun silly and then the money of all the all the kids in hospital with nose things that'd be great and where would this be this would be a pay-per-view like it wouldn't be on like because i'm thinking it would be on like kick like i don't know i think yeah maybe like fucking or like super bowl halftime show logan paul can handle it or something one of these paul brothers isn't logan paul a billionaire he's got to be close well he might well now he has to park the bus at 9.99 yeah now he's got to say hey anything else because then you'll have you'll have a lot of people that are strategically close not even close broke boy i think that prime prime fell big time oh really i think it went the the valuation of prime fell hugely because i wonder why kids lost their teeth all these children i know 22 with cavities now they're in the hospital with the nose you're you're you're that raising the money you're a sip even a sip of prime oh my god i honestly haven't it's like the equivalent of like um you remember when you were a kid and you used to have those popsicle sticks like the like yeah and like it would melt and you'd be able to like drink it it was like the equivalent of that it's disgusting it's nasty and then they say it's like full of electrolytes but it's like the worst kind of electrolytes or something yeah because electrolytes is like a kind of a wide term and like there's some of it that's good for you which is the sodium i think and then there's a bunch of it that's crap and they just have a fall to the raft crap yeah the word electric being in there is what's selling it that's doing all the heavy lifting for me it was logan paul hasn't done me wrong yet no no for me it was i saw the drink i thought of the king of course have you guys had the mr beast chocolate bars feastables have you had the feastables or feastable feastables or the lunchables the chocolate bars are what mr there's a bangladeshi guy right out front that has three bars of it they're all also feastables it's not enough bars that he like actually stocked up it's like he like bought these from somewhere else and is reselling them no i've never had them but i know there was a thing that was happening where people were going to the grocery store and just destroying them setting them on fire we're going to the grocery store and just crushing them and putting them back on the shelf and like i think he had to like do something about it that's good yeah it's good marketing low-key like long term if enough people get together you could really hurt them oh yeah did you see the video of the guy working at the you know target or something like that where the prankster that comes in and like plays the sound on his phone as though he's stolen money via cash app or something oh no the red baron delivery he was like he had a red baron pizza shirt on so he like worked in pizza in frozen pizza oh is that right yeah yeah yeah and the guy this one of the pranksters comes up does it to him and he start he's like let's go outside oh shit oh wait i i knew i know i do know what you're talking about the headline i saw on this clip was that like this guy that something he's raised nine hundred thousand dollars in donations from people i have no idea if that's true or not i bet it isn't but like that people hate the prankster so much and liked this guy so much for standing up to him but they gave money the guy had a compelling story he's screaming he's like oh i see what you mean i got three kids and a mortgage i can't pay off because i'm supposed to be here and you're fucking wasting my time yeah yeah i did see that - Yeah, this guy. - Oh. Oh, well, there you go. He's raised $784,000. So the prank is I pretend, I go, please. And then you start to panic and think that you've stolen money from my wallet. Exactly. Which I guess, having not seen this. Why don't we run this scheme and you do it to me and then I'll freak out and then we can split the GoFundMe. Oh, this is the real scheme. Yeah. You think it's easy? Yeah. I've got grandkids. You're going to go screaming. I've got two podcasts. I'm 82 and I look like this. I mean, it's not a bad idea. Split the wallet. I think so. This guy's coming up. I mean, he's talking about I missed bedtime. Yeah, he's not missing shit now. I liked him. I liked him. But, you know, you never know what to believe these days. $700K for getting pranked is pretty. It's a lot of money. Who looks at him having gotten $200K and then goes, I'm going to add more. Yeah. Like, I'll give him. Babe, get my wallet. He's good. If he needed $20, I'd give him $20, but this is crazy. Get the platinum. I'll DM him and go, hey, pass it on. Should love, baby. Yeah, right. I almost also. I got a fellow content creator here. I think there's like, I think there's this, which is, you know, great that he's getting money and can solve some of his issues. But I would also like to see more of a penalty for the pranksters because we're all sick of them. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree. Although a good cash app prank like that's not I mean, that's kind of like at least it's more modern. Yeah, I mean, honestly, of all the of all the pranks I've seen, this wasn't the worst. I don't like the people that just like go throw milk jugs. I don't like that. I don't like screaming in a woman's face. Yeah. Like when like the Nelk boys did the ice one. Yeah, they do all sorts of stuff where it was like they were like ice is around the corner and it was like a truck of ice. They all dress up as Mexican dudes like running for their lives. And they're like, we got them. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's a little dark. They kind of didn't get them though. But now Nelk boys are doing like a cinema shooting prank where they all have like exploding heads and stuff. And they got kidding, kidding. Sit back down. Enjoy the movie. Sit back down. Sit back down. Yeah. Enjoy your popcorn. With Nelk boys. I did like there was one I think it was like Target or somewhere. This dude goes over to a guy who works there and goes, my buddy's in the bathroom and he locked himself in. He can't. So the guy goes into the bathroom and opens the cubicle and the guys that some random dude is in there. Shit. What the fuck are you doing? And the guy who's camera runs out. So he just convinced the guy who works there. He's like, my friend's locked inside. Yeah. And it's just some completely random dude having a dump. That is pretty good. Yeah. Seeing someone like seeing like the keys opening the door. You go, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck the hell are you doing? Yeah. What the fuck is happening? I got walked in on the back. I was like, I was somewhere recently in public and it was like, uh, I got walked in on bad shitting. Oh no. And it was like a door that opened up like into like a crowded like main area. Like, uh, like it was like a shopping center and it was like the public bathrooms, like right in the center of it. And I'm sitting, I'm taking a shit and all of a sudden dressing room, I'm taking a shit to watch the bathroom. They sit down, they sit on the chair instead of a fountain. They're just looking at the bathroom. Yeah. I mean, it is a really jarring experience. Like just like sitting there. Shitting, not really thinking anything. And then all of a sudden there's like nine people looking at you shitting. Dude, our old office before this one in, we had a bathroom, there were two bathrooms, I think that they opened, they just opened into the like editing team. Yeah. Yeah. It was like the editing team, the business team and like the CFO was like right there. Yeah. Yeah. All those people that were in the back left. And, uh, one time I was in there, I thought I had locked the door. Hmm. Right. Shitting. Trent opens the door all the way. Oh, and I'm just sitting there with like my dick and my fucking pants at my, I was like, I'm in here. Sorry, Trent. And they, they never open a little. It's not. Trent opens it like he's starting a lawnmower. The thing comes off the hinges. Like he's going to catch his girlfriend cheating on him. Yeah. Like snatching a package off his porch, ripping that door open. And by the way, these were coed bathrooms too. Yeah. So it was lucky in fact that it was Trent and not, you know, yeah. He'd be fired if that was Casey Smith or something. Yeah. That would be bad. Yeah. Yeah. It is just like, it's just a, it's something that you really never get over. You know, how did you, what did you do when I got, when you got caught? I mean, I did, I did what Francis did. You just let out some sort of noise. Some sort of a scream. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Yeah. You're talking to a beer. Someone's in here. Trying to get a black bear away from the picnic. Easy, easy. Hey bear. Yeah. And then he closed it and I, you know, you don't finish shitting after that. No, that shit's ruined. Yeah. You're done shitting after that. So then I got up and then I was like walking around and I kept on like running into him and we just like, wouldn't make eye contact. Oh, at the mall? Yeah. You could see him? Yeah. You saw my foot look? No, it was like a small, it was like a small little shopping area. Could you sketch his face? Do you remember his face to this day? No, he was a big guy though. Like I remember what he looks like. Oh, so he's a real shitter. Oh, big time. Yeah. He was looking to get in there. Well, I, I, I've been, I've been caught during a shit, like almost post shit. Yeah. And, but I'm standing up. Which is worse. My ankles are still around the ankles. Oh, that's not good. Oh, you stared away. So you're just full dick out. Standing away. Yeah. Well, it was like, I think it was just full ass. Oh my God. It's the most amount of ass. Cause it's all leg. Yeah. Yeah. Little hip in there. That's horrible. And I think I'm just like, oh my God. That's the worst one. Like the front of a sunblock bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Like a toddler in the beach almost. Do you stand to wipe? I guess it depends on, it really depends on how I'm feeling that day. What's going on. Yeah. Yeah. You're a hybrid. There's a lot of conditions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hybrid athlete. Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Who said you can't have things your way? On DraftKings Casino, spin. Your way with Flex Spins. Exclusive casino spins that let you pick the slots. New casino players get 1,000 total Flex Spins, including 100 Lightning Link Spins. Sign up with code BOYDAD and play $5 to unlock 50 spins a day at varying values for your first 20 days. Then you choose how to use them across more. 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See terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. Ends November 22nd, 2026 at 1159 p.m. Eastern Time. Whatever you try, I mean. I think there's a Jack Nicklaus movie where someone walks in on him shitting and he goes, Acupado. And so someone told me about that and he's like, you got to do that. And I got to the point where I've been walked in. I've probably been walked in on three or four times. But one of the times I hit someone with an Acupado and looked them dead in their eye. They probably laughed. That's horrifying. They probably laughed the whole building. The whole building? Yeah. Another time it happened to me. Never entering another room again. Just killed himself outside. Any room ever. He's just outside his house. But it happened at an airport. The latch was broken and a fucking dude walked in and I was like, yo, someone's in here. And he's like, well, lock the door. And I was trying to yell, explain to him that the latch had been broken as he walked away. I've been hit with that. And it's actually I actually got hit with that specifically at the at the restaurant across the street from. The train station in Hudson Valley, of course. Yes, yes. And I remember specifically going to the bathroom and the dude walking in and then I walked out and he goes, lock the door next time. Don't you think I tried to lock the door? What do you think? I was sitting there just being like, hopefully someone walks in on me shitting. Yeah, there was no lock. The lock did not work in a rush. No time. Yeah, no time to lock, buddy. If you know what I mean. Too much money to be made. The more the merrier. Get in here. No, there you are. I'm almost done. You write a sub stack like white people who lock the bathroom door and there's five reasons why I don't like the bathroom door. Did you give it to him afterwards or do you just give him the money and grumble? Do you just grumble? I grumbled. I grumbled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's easier because you but you probably thought about that interaction for a cool half hour. Of course. I mean, I just told you exactly where it went down. Well, you didn't because I was definitely curious. Where was that in the Hudson Valley? Were you visiting me? No, this was like the train. station you know what i'm talking about the restaurant across the street street from the train station oh there are there are a good amount of trains this was like years ago i was with oh was it uh was it um poughkeepsie when you did laf no whatever the closer to albany i think it was was albany then could have been albany dude i bet it was respectfully i bet it was laugh it up in poughkeepsie because there is a restaurant right next to the train station there no no i know that train station i'll never forget that one okay that's poughkeepsie valley that's poughkeepsie valley poughkeepsie is a flash grenade getting off that train you're like oh i'm here we're in it that poughkeepsie feels like a old fucking like brit it feels like birmingham yeah it's like a british fucking industrial town it really is yeah i remember doing a show as those old wigs and stuff yeah for sure the cops walk around with those big black fucking police hats the bobbies spinning a little stick what are you yeah classic but billy clubs are they are uh i think billy clubs are like the really short one or is that a blackjack what's the thing where you just like hit someone in the back of the head and it like kills them 99 i don't know we used to in ireland because they didn't have guns but they did have i can't remember what they called but they slide out like a fucking like you know like a lightsaber kind of toy and that's like a baton isn't it i can't remember what we used to call it nightstick yeah it was so there was a cool term for some sort of like nightstick is some sort of paddy dagger or something you know yeah yeah you'd have to give it a nice name before the cops beat you in the head with it but it would slide out and then a shillelagh is not the answer god damn it and then uh what's a shillelagh shillelagh is like an old um musical instrument that i think we used to use as a uh as a weapon i believe i've never heard of it's like it's just an american yeah oh hit a bit of my shillelagh i don't really know what it is but it's like this leprechaun-y type of walking stick wasn't there a show called shillelagh law or some shit like that yeah i don't know what it is but it's like this leprechaun-y type of walking stick i don't know i've never heard the noise until i moved to america it's like an american looks like a big pipe looks like a bunch of potatoes on the end of a stick yeah like one of those rain sticks the amazonian rain sticks potato stick so you guys were getting hit with this shit no you you're that looks like it would hurt a lot to just get banged across the head with classic yeah look up shillelagh law afterwards you shake hands it's a good game yeah yeah go for a pint none of this not not not like the kids today you hey calm yes sir is there any part of you that gets annoyed by the unbelievable sort of renaissance and glomming on of americans to guinness now and no not really no i'm i'm a guinness guy i'm glad to have the word spread oh really okay i love guinness okay great thing ever yeah i mean i like guinness it gets a little snobby for sure but everything kind of gets a little snobby right but guinness is the best guinness is how does it get snobby what do you mean people are just like a little bit of a snobby but everything kind of gets a little snobby right but guinness is the best they treat it like it's wine a little too much they're like oh this travel this travels well yeah they pour a great if they don't pour it in the right glass and things that and the other but the you once spent like maybe two hours breaking down the science of a guinness to me yeah yeah then do you don't think you're not snobby with it i know i do know i'm snobby with i'm just saying that's the that's the bad i were telling me about the pipes in the fucking course i was spreading the word and now look at it everyone's on everyone's on it the minute collie started drinking them i was i was a snob about it too sure but once you get to ireland and drink them good you go fuck oh what's better than that we had some what do you mean drink them good because it's the best good one yeah the the best quality in ireland for sure it's just like the you don't agree i don't know but it's just like uh it's it's beer from a tap sure it is brother there's a science to it yeah a lot going on but i've had wine is just it's just i i asked you for a bottle or i asked you for the best guinness places in ireland and you gave me a bunch of them and i went to a bunch of them and then i got a guinness across the street in new york and i'm like yeah oh these are both guinness yeah there's a real chick opinion right there you don't have the palate of a man not not like me and my boys here i'm gonna get him back on the wagon you're gonna drink in the zero zeros just to get a taste of it i love this place pours a great zero zero you need a little alcohol in there though in fairness oh yeah yeah guinness is incredible you will have some points and you are not invited uh i my golf club has a really delicious guinness but i do wonder to what degree is that just that after a round of golf it tastes great i'm in the setting and the mood to make it taste great yeah i mean isn't the big thing i believe you told me the big thing was if like the foam like hugs the sides of it that's a good sign i mean you're drinking it and the whole thing is cloudy all the way down if the foam just slides right down and it's a clean glass that's a bad pint they fucked bad pint they told us over there and that's coming from the pipes yeah well they said that that's probably something to do with the detergents or something that they're using that's the detergent but the pipe they do almost like the best guinness you'll have is like it comes straight out of the keg so you don't want it like the shortest distance between the keg and you want it to be selling a lot on saint patrick's day if you go into the worst pub anywhere the guinness is pretty good because it's flying oh yeah so much yeah it's fresh it's not sitting there that's why it's good in ireland yeah you never put it down but there's also just a high quality like they won't they tolerate bad pints really so even if you go somewhere that's pretty normal they'll be doing it all correct i was more charmed by the atmosphere of everywhere i drank you sent me to one place that uh you everybody you get your own drinks in like a like a confessional of like a catholic church everything is like sectioned off yeah it's kind of nice though loving an irish pub is great because you walk in and then they just have like a half a wall yeah there's just walls so everybody is in a small way and sass i sit beside you but just it's like a little wall just don't look don't look yeah like urinal walls yeah yeah yeah a little half urinal wall in the middle of the thing yeah why is that just i don't want to look at them it's nice to know someone's there but you don't want to have that little frosted glass in between you wait so you guys just have like barriers everywhere yeah have a look in the bar have a have a look in the next time you have some irish pubs even in new york you'll notice just random little nooks and crannies and dividers and stuff and that's the whole that's the beauty of it all i like that little privacy can't wait i'm going back to ireland yeah you guys got many irish fans um i'm sure we got february dublin i was there in may and i was stopped by people who knew me as frequently as i do oh yeah in new york oh you should eat a big shepherd's pie in the office yeah oh you need a big stew in the office would you eat a gallon of shoe come on now frankie you bollocks a big shepherd's pie huge shepherd's pie i'm eating i'm eating this 20 gallon shepherd's pie shepherd's pie is incredible it's the best and it's really good i do remember the season anytime my mom was making a shepherd's pie though i was always furious why is that because it was always frozen it was always it was always she couldn't make it from scratch now never we're having shepherd's pie tonight missed our fancy over here i can't believe you're doing your mom like that not all of us you know it was i was very young we didn't we didn't really eat them when i got older you should make it you should whip one up whip up a little shepherd's pie yeah maybe i will tonight you know what i had you needed to would you would you even attempt it hell no not even come close to it making a full shepherd's pie it's only like fucking four ingredients really something like that yeah but the pie crust and all that seems like it's just potato mashed potato can you mash potato no you can't boil it i never learned how really i never learned how to mash i think it's the most simple thing that ever does it does it does a map youtube oh yeah yeah then i get all my recipes out of there i'll just ask claude sure yeah whatever claude how do i mash the potato how do i microwave a hot dog yeah but then claude doesn't claude gets you a recipe from anywhere it doesn't look into the like the person i want to judge the person true the recipe oh you want to see if it's like i'm not taking something like yeah some chick from kansas hell no she's like this reminds me of the time that i didn't mean it well you could ask claude you could be like make me a traditional shepherd's pie you know from ireland yeah no chicks from kansas none of them none of them none of them none of this chicks you know what country i went to that was great recently england bro don't make me laugh don't make me laugh let's let's wrap it up here check out the special bells and whistles for this protestant lover it's such a good time in england oh yeah did you did you like the king you fucking rome was saying though he was saying the guinness you lied me better he said the guinness in england's better of course this guy knows nothing no these were the guys who were like especially what do you usually drink yingling or something like that yingling or some other fucking soggy cardboard beer from fucking philly yingling tastes like fucking grass yingling is nasty that's the taste in your mouth after you clean your lawnmower anyway the wind blows for sass when we were talking about when we were talking about you're like one of those things on top of a barn that points at the wind when we were talking about the king of england he was on his knees so hard me you were sucking so hard and then columns in here you're like oh the fucking king column no i'm surprised you didn't wear your little tinky blinders that's crazy you were loving the king i had a i had an up the raw sticker on my phone for damn near three years what happened oh it's gone now started becoming it started liking england yeah of the king yeah Yeah, I'm an Arsenal fan now. Okay, good. I love the King. Arsenal. That's so funny. Disgusting. Yeah, it's my team. That's my club. You can't be an Arsenal fan. That's my home club. No one's an Arsenal fan. No, they're like dudes from like Ethiopia. Yeah, yeah, big time. His case was that the Irish, or that the King of England shouldn't marry an American. He should only marry a royal. Yeah, this is big. This is big. He's a royalist. He's like- No, my thing was like if you're born into- This was a big thing. This is why the guy- Yeah. This is why we have the current- But my whole thing was like if you're- This is like a big event, actually. If you're born into the royal family- This is what a podcast would have been like in 1952. This is exactly the talking point. But if you're born into the royal family, and there's one rule, which is marry someone from England, just do it. Yeah, there's loads of rules, sure. But that rule, I don't think that's written in stone. That's a good- Societal. But it's- It's like, I don't know. It just seems so easy to me. Yeah, but then the point was that he fell in love. The guy was supposed to be king. He was prince, whatever his name was, and then he fell in love with some tart from England. Third marriage, by the way. This is the one who abdicated? This is the guy who abdicated, yeah. From King's Speech? Yeah, he left so that he could- Be with the lady. Be with the lady, yeah, yeah. Although he did end up to be a Nazi in the end. Remember? He was quite Nazi-ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is like in that day and age, kind of hard not to be kind of- Yeah, he is- You know, you're rubbing shoulders, but a lot of ideas floating around. Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not really listening. You're drinking champagne. Yeah. You're addicted to some old 1950s drug. Yeah. Yeah, he did that, so that's why the current king and queen and all these people are actually- Because his brother- They weren't even right to be in throne. His brother then took the throne, not wanting it. That's the very fuck. And then his daughter was Elizabeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who then was queen for 80 plus years. Yeah. Her dad was the stutterer? Her dad was the stuttery guy, yeah. No way. So she has a little bit of it in her blood. The stutteriness? Yeah. Maybe. She's gone now. She's dead now. She's a little stutter step, if anything. She can break your ankles. Yeah, she's a wicked crossover. Yeah. She looks like Allen Iverson. She runs a clean out route. Yeah, she's like JSN. The royal family's interesting because their whole business is just to keep public approval. Yeah. It's like, that's what their job is now. It used to be cool to be a king or a queen or whatever. And now it's like, it's a full-time job trying to convince people to keep like supporting you because they don't really have a product. So they have to go all day, every day. They're just going to children's hospitals, shaking hands. Yeah, yeah. Looking at the numbers, looking at the numbers. It's kind of a crazy. How much money does the royal family have? A lot? Yeah, I think so. I think it gets cloudy though between like what's state and what's there. It's all theirs. They're using it all. And is it not the case though that England, is there a large contingent of British people that says, fuck the fact that our taxpayer dollars are going towards booking a palace and all that? Because I was under the impression that like people loved the royals and they loved that aspect and the pageantry of it all. I think they do. I think it's like a 60-40 split. Oh, I was wondering. Something like that. 88 billion it says. I believe. I believe. They're worth 88 billion. In their assets as well. So do they own Buckingham Palace? I don't know if they have. I don't know if they actually own it. I'm assuming the country owns it. Yeah, it's still like a place of residence. But yeah, I guess it kind of gets cloudy as to like what they own officially versus the country because I don't think that's the country's money. It's owned by the crown on Netflix. That's crazy. They got the rights. They probably had to buy it so they could film the show. I can't believe that everybody's just bending the knee. I bet you guys are in your booths talking so much shit about them. Oh, yeah. Muttering to yourselves. You guys probably thought about going over there a couple times. Should we go over there? Fuck shit up? We fucking teach them what's up. This new generation don't take this shit no more. We did. We went over. Fuck some. Not me. The IRA got over it. Blew up some innocent people. That's right. That was, yeah. Let them know what's up. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Yeah. We're not fucking around over here. You don't like us? I'll blow up this guy. I'll blow up this car. Yeah. The sisters. Do you know who I'm talking about? No. That then got arrested and went on hunger strike. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. We're not allowed to learn about women. Did you watch that movie, Sins of the Father? It's on the side. They cut that out. That one. Who the fuck is in that? Daniel Day-Lewis? Which one? In the name of the father? Sins of the Father or whatever? Yeah, yeah. I've seen that. Yeah, yeah. Daniel Day-Lewis is great. You guys love that? You guys jerk off to that? No matter what. You must love that. I'm more of a my left foot type of a Daniel Day-Lewis jerk off guy. What's my left foot? Great joke if you had a gut at it. You must love like St. Patrick's Day and stuff like that, right? Mm-hmm. I like the whole week. So like leprechaun. Yeah, like leprechauns. Like is that like. So what's up with leprechauns? So tell us a little bit about like leprechauns. Yeah. How'd you get it? How'd you get into comedy? How are the audiences different here than they are in Ireland? When you were performing in Ireland, like were there leprechauns in the crowd? Is that something like you have to like get used to? Do they interrupt the show? Because they're very mischievous. They're always up to no good. You don't have to put up with this. They interrupt the show and I go, sorry, what was that? And they go quiet very fast. Oh, yeah. And they go, oh, really? Get a light on him. Oh, yeah. He'll drive by, heckle. Sorry, you know. And then someone goes, I'm sorry, my mate's a little, he's a little leprechaun. Comedian eviscerates leprechaun. Yeah, destroys leprechaun. He's crying at the. How did you, how did you end up on Rogan? Just, he's a big fan. Really? Big fan. Was he a fan of Tuesday Social? He didn't know. Because you didn't, you didn't bring it up on the show. As soon as I let you go, I've been flying. Like, like a fucking pelican who had like some sort of. You know, this fishing wire. I would have been down to keep it going if I knew we were going on Rogan together. If the big, I should have wore my son of a boy dad shirt. You should have. That would have been huge. That'd be, you got the Rogan boom. Oh, that would have been unbelievable. Francis. Well, we brought, I brought it up. I said, oh, you know, we should talk about son of a boy dad. And he goes. Yeah. No, no, no. I'll set that out. And then we came back to talking about how we love the IDF or whatever. Whatever we were talking about. I can't even remember which side we took in the moment, but. I was getting, I'm getting it from both sides. You know, I'm getting it from both sides. That's good. These fucking Jews versus the anti-Jews are all, they all need to fuck off. What did you say? You said something that got clicked. It was horrible. It was bad. You were like, they should just finish the job. We were talking. We were talking about how it's a genocide. And at the end I go, they're never going to quit. We should just, they should just wipe Palestine off the map so we can all move on. And I don't have to hear about Macklemore anymore. And that was like the over the top facetious kind of a statement. And then that got clipped. And everyone was like, this guy should be dead. And then meanwhile, all the other side are also going, it's not a genocide, you fucking. Yeah. Yeah. They don't even like that. They don't even like that aspect of it. They hate it. They hate it. But I saw a lot of people be like. You Aladdin lover mother fucking. All the other crazy shit coming at me. And I'm like, I can't win with either of you. Rogan's reaction too. He just goes, oh. He goes, you're a bold boy. He said something like, you're a bold boy. But people were like, he's Irish. Like, if anyone understands. I don't know. I don't really care if they kind of took it. The only thing is, I was trying to say the opposite almost with it or whatever. I don't know what I was trying to say. You're joking. I was joking around. You're making a joke. So the only part was that I was mad that people misunderstood what I said. But I'm not really mad that some dickhead on Twitter is like taking 15 seconds off. You certainly can. You certainly can't tell Joe Rogan to cut something. Maybe. Has anyone? Do you think? I'm sure they have. People have maybe. I know things get cut. But someone said that to me going in. Just goes, just so you know, if you happen to say the wrong thing, he'll just go, we can't talk about that. And then they'll just cut that out. Like what? Interesting. Because we did a little peek under the table there. We did a five hour ep. Five hours? Yeah. Yeah. We were really getting into the nitty gritty of that. All right, guys. Let's take a second and talk about our friends over at Rock and Roll. Rocket Money. Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app within just a few taps, giving users any way to stop paying for things they don't use. Let me just get out of the copy for a second and just talk to you guys as people. 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Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash boy. That's rocketmoney.com slash boy, rocketmoney.com slash boy. Did you guys smoke cigars? No. Well, we did three hours. I was kidding about the five hours. Yeah, yeah, I know. No, we know cigars. No, I don't touch that stuff. I'm all about my health. Oh, really? Are you? You still on that? Cigars, no. Him and Lev are always on the porch smoking cigars. Are you kidding me? You're not on the cigars? Am I on them? Look right here. Look right in front of him. Every episode, he's the cigar man. Then I go in, I say, I don't smoke cigars anymore. He goes, yeah, me neither. Bad habit. I mean, I'll smoke them from time to maybe like a couple of years. From time to time. Lev was texting me yesterday saying that he's addicted to nicotine and it's from cigars. He was like. He was like, I haven't smoked a cigar in a week and I'm like super anxious. Yeah, because he's like. And I was like, he's chewing them. He's eating them like a jerky. I think that 100% of the people that are addicted to cigars get cancer. You cannot be. That might help Lev a little bit. A routine cigar smoker. A little sores around the mouth might actually lead to some good. Yeah, you end up having. One step backwards type of scenario. Too much to eat because I've got cancer in my mouth. Good news is I've lost the diabetes. Do you know that Ulysses S. Grant smoked 20 a day? Oh, yeah. His whole like whole campaign. That's kind of cool. Through the war. And then like at some point he's like, I might need to cut back. And he went to like 12. Yeah. 12 cigars a day. Sure. Yeah. I mean, that's just you got to be just chain smoking. Around the clock. Yeah. It's kind of. At least they stay lit, though. You know, you can put them down for a little bit. It's kind of cool. Kind of cool to like live like unhealthy and just go out at 60. To. Yeah. Kids leave them all behind. Here's the thing, though. It's kind of cool. I think that I live with all of the unhealthy things that I could possibly want. What more could I pile on that would like take 20 years off my Wendy's for breakfast? When you get up at 20 cigars, you need to get gout and not in a good way. You don't need to get gout like from rib eyes. You need to get gout from Taco Bell. That's the that's the real sweet spot. Because rich, really rich people are really poor. People that both have gout, but they both get it in different ways. The King's disease. It's the King's disease. Yeah. You get it. I'm sorry I won't be allowed to walk you down the aisle. I just can't stop eating chalupas. Yeah. Nice Bordeaux with my Tacoma. My feet are swollen from my breakfast, from my Taco Bell breakfast. Cut the toes out of every pair of shoes I ever owned. Churchill was like Churchill had a crazy diet. Yeah. Whiskey. Did you just go to the Churchill war rooms? Of course. And then you see it's like diet and everything. And yeah, he'd go visit people. And when they were like they were during World War Two, they're doing like North Africa campaign, I guess you call it. And he'd go visit them. But he'd have all his like special food shipped in. Oh, really? Like he also made some cuts. He had a rider. Yeah. He made some cuts where it went down from a bottle of whiskey today to like half a bottle of whiskey. Yeah. But it would still be pints and champagne. Yeah. And everyone else was like eating like scraps and like whatever plumpy nut type of like old rations. And then he came in. And he was like, he's fucking tuned up to half the time. He was wasted. Yeah. Yeah. He's like wasted all through World War Two. Oh, of course. Just locked making decisions. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Maybe you need that. And a bedpan. Like we went to the war rooms and there's a bedpan under his bed. They had the original. But like he's. Yeah, it literally was. It was untouched. The bedpan that he was. But he would shit in a fucking bedpan after having a rump roast every night. After having a rump roast and a fucking gallon of whiskey. I don't know that. Does. Is. Is there a decent drop from the bed to the pan? Like. It's gotta be. Are you lying flat in a bed and you're shitting? I always thought that, but that can't be it. That can't be. That can't be. It's gotta be like. Do we invent vending? It's gotta be like. In the 70s? I bet he just puts it on a chair and sits on the chair. You think so? I think it's a hole. Like a masseuse. Instead of the hole for the face, it's a hole for your ass. In the middle of the bed and you shit and it just lands in a bucket. I don't hate that to be honest. And then you're. And then you're poor. And now I'm Eliza Doolittle comes in. Yeah. I'm here for the bedpan, Mr. Churchill. I mean. It's gotta be. Will we. Will we see Christmas, Mr. Winston? I don't. I don't. No. Rebecca. Bring me out of the rumpus. Yeah. I mean, I would assume they would just like probably sit on the side of the bed and just kind of let it free fall off. Sit on the side of the. What? With their legs flat? Yeah. And you're saying there's a hole in the bed still? No, no. Like kind of hang your ass off the side. The opposite. How are you going to do that? You're going to have. You're going to have to get your legs flat like this. No, no. Like sit sideways and kind of hang the ass off. Like Mission Impossible. Yeah. Fucking hang off of your ass. No way. There's no way that's possible. I mean, I think I would have a lot easier of a time with that than laying flat and shitting. Like I'm a baby. I need to see what you're talking about. Like I'm a newborn. They're in my. Bedpans are like that deep and they're. Imagine a seat cushion. Yeah. And so I would think it goes right on a chair. You treat it like a toilet. You're saying it's pretty close to the hole. Yeah. You're right on the hole. We're getting hung up on the whole bed part of the bedpan. I don't think. You don't think the bed's necessarily involved. No, it's the bed in name only. There's no way. There's no way. They definitely used to. They would have called it a chair pan if it wasn't. It's a bedpan because it's in the bedroom. It's under the bed. It's a bedroom pan. Which is crazy that if you have to shit at 4 a.m. And you just slide your shit under the bed and try to like get a couple. I think these guys have a hole in the middle of the bed. Don't you think that we would have seen that? I think they have a hole in the middle of the bed like the way a masseuse has it for their face. And there's pipes and that's how they make the get in. They go to night and they sleep shit. Oh yeah, that's also possible. And they plump. Yeah. They don't even know it. They don't even know they're shitting in the hole. I mean, that could be a thing. I mean, you know, if they don't have toilets back then, they probably were a lot more just like open with their shitting. It's like a mini golf course. It's like the last, the 18th hole of mini golf where you don't know where the ball goes. It just goes deep into the pirate ship. Yeah, you kind of just loosely are just shitting all day like a dog. I heard. Just walking and shitting at the same time. Every room you go. Away from the pan. A bucket of shit. I got caught away from the pan today. Had to go in my trousers. Anyway, we're attacking Tunisia from the west. An Eisenhower on the line. Empty my pan. I'm going to look like a fool. My pan's full. Yeah. I mean, you think you wake up in the middle of the night and you shit and you just go back to bed with that shit just in the room? I don't think there is no going back to bed. You are in bed. You're staying in bed. You shit in the bed. It falls right into the pan. Are you wiping your ass? With what? Exactly. No, no. You let it crust and it flakes off. I saw a news story this week. You let it dry in like muddy pants. Just clap it together like the bottom of shoes of your cleats after a lacrosse practice. Tour! We'll fight them on the beaches. We'll fight them on the trenches. getting baths from a nurse and it was because he was pretending to have down syndrome and he got caught how do you pretend to have down it's like pretending to be black yeah pretending to have down syndrome it was getting like baths like getting a diaper and was getting like bathed by a nurse yes and he was using it for like sexual arousal but that means he was so committed to the sexual arousal that he was just shitting he was just shitting himself yeah that seems like a long length to get like i i feel like i would just go to a strip club or something don't be a pervert rather than being like okay i want to get off today so i'm gonna have to first shit myself all right here comes the first step covering myself in shit i should be easier no first time probably hard but then once you once you do shit and you get over that and then you get off on it yeah after that you go that was surprisingly easy that was actually surprisingly very easy for see now we've got a pervert alive yeah and it's kind of like arguably is it like i guess it's like it's like it's not legal is it just to pretend to be it's special i would go ahead and wipe your ass it's gotta be illegal no no because what's to pretend to have she's a nurse she's paper hour she could she could theoretically you validate it i mean is there a fraud happening she he would but he's being paid but he was using it for sexual gratification but she's a lot okay and she doesn't a guy on the beach who's in defeat medically then but if you on her like if i lied and said i have alzheimer's and i need a i need a live-in uh nurse like just because she's being paid doesn't mean that i could be like yeah i'm like smashing windows and shit if somehow you definitely can you can definitely do whatever you want with the nurse you can definitely do whatever you want with the nurse you can definitely do whatever you want with the nurse you can definitely do whatever you want with the nurse sorry but you can't it's okay go for it i would imagine that if somehow you you're getting an insurance insurance you know write off or something like that to pay for that nurse because you have alzheimer's then yeah that's fraud but like otherwise you're hiring somebody and paying them a rate why why is a private employee why does it is it is that a private employee though yeah i think i think like a live-in nurse or like an at-home nurse these aren't like government appointed people but what you're saying is she should be getting paid the prostitute rate she's getting paid the nurse rate she should be getting the no i'm saying i don't think you should be able to use a live-in nurse like a fucking like just a task rabbit that's kind of what they are no your employees are all task rabbits i mean they have to have like their license and shit to wipe an ass yeah well she didn't even know he didn't have down syndrome what yeah i mean she shouldn't be a nurse that's like a visual yeah you should be able to pick up on that immediately i think so the pic he kind of looked close he figured it out are you guys sure he didn't have down syndrome and was like i can i can milk this a little lean into it no they went to his family they went to his family and they said the family said that he didn't but he also was getting he's covering himself in shit again isn't he right we knew this was gonna come again the nurse complained after he was because he was getting hard so that's basically sexual harassment and uh he was complaining that she wasn't doing a good enough job washing his his yeah so how long did this go on i don't know i i didn't i don't know that part but that means that he was shitting his dick that means that that's what was going on there yeah he was shitting himself he was covering his shaft with dick densely god that's so funny covering your shaft and dick they're covering your dick and shit and then being like well my dick's got to get clean and he has to go yeah how is this gonna get cleaned yeah he has to look away because she's she's buying it she's so close and he's just a normal dude yeah yeah kaiser is a fully functioning guy so as soon as he walks out yeah i'm gonna hop on the game pulls up cassie she walks in on him sitting on a toilet normally yeah yeah no no i mean a chair i'm playing how daddy should no more yeah it's tough okay she comes home he's showering he's jerking himself off i mean yeah that's uh that's got to be illegal in a lot of ways there's probably some yeah there's something there but i just i bet he's getting an insurance i don't think it's a long crime i think it's i think it's fraud in for the insurance and then it's probably sexual harassment I don't know. I don't know. There's something. You agreed to do a job. The guy. Well, you agreed to do a job and it wasn't the job. What was the job? Clean a guy with Down syndrome and you end up just cleaning the regular guy? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like that's when they kind of upcharge you on weddings, even though it's the same job. It's just like a regular thing. It's kind of a corrupt kind of what's the, you know, what's the thing got to do with it? You know, we can't lie about having Down syndrome and really like to really even be a passable fucking card for that or something. Yeah. Look, guys, I don't know. What is the benefit? There's no like. Well, also, she's a Down syndrome specialist. She doesn't work with anyone. She'll only work with Down syndrome. Yeah, true. That's how she probably got her master's degree so she could jerk off. Am I not? I don't want to like I don't want to like be disrespectful or anything, but like you can see when someone has Down syndrome. Whoa, whoa, whoa. But it's very easy. It's very apparent. That's a little early for this kind of there's no mix up. There's not like I don't know about that. Type in Down syndrome people who can pass. And also it's like people and that will put us and type in normal please. Let's see. You can have non-visible internal symptoms of Down. So it's like you have some variation of Down syndrome. Also, this is going to have internal Down syndrome. I mean, that's clearly what this guy. If she wasn't if she sideways syndrome mosaic mosaic, that's like the IPA. I say Down syndrome, the latest IPA. This is such a nefarious act that the brothers with Down syndrome would never do something because they're so wholesome. They wouldn't do anything like this. And honestly, this guy should feel that's also even worse. He's using the innocence of the Down syndrome people to get off to get his sexual acts off. He found a loophole. He's creating a bad guy. They should give this guy the fucking they should give him the chair. Yeah. And the firing squad. That should be live. The last firing squad before he gets impeached. He's warm up for the billionaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of small, more local criminals. We work up to the big, the big execution. But what if it was someone too big? Like what if it was Elon? And that would be massive. We guys, we can't really we can't have the first one be Elon. No, no, that's that would be. I think it'd be nice to be more like a lifetime achievement award. Yeah, that's true. That is true. Yeah. The billionaire. I love the idea of the pitch meeting for the guy trying to raise money for that streaming service. Oh, yeah. They're like, look, one day, Elon. And they're like, well, who have you got lined up so far? Well, OK, we everybody has to start somewhere. Sure. We have a guy who's been pretending to have Down syndrome to get his rocks off with a live in nurse who only works. He only works with them, but you can trace the line, you can see the domino, the little domino. We're asking $50 million right now. Before Bezos gets executed. Yeah. This could be big. It's kind of good. I think so. The American public has an appetite for it. Everybody watch that guy free solo that fucking building, hoping that he would die. Yeah. There's like a darkness. Remember that guy jumped from space? Oh, yeah. Red Bull. Red Bull. Yeah. And they were alive for that, right? He was like in an astronaut suit, wasn't he? Yeah. That was sick. That was pretty cool. That was awesome. How long did that go off? For like three minutes? Yeah, it was very quick. I've rewatched that video sometimes. It's a banger. Because he literally, he starts in space. Yeah, he's way up there. And then he's just like, just falling. Like, it's insane. Yeah. You rewatch it? You got to get your math right on the gravity there. Oh, yeah. Because. You're either landing or you're on fire. Or you're going up there. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Or no, you're just. You're going the other way. Whoa, fuck. That's crazy. And then you're out there floating. That would be horrifying. Just jumping. It's like, guys, I think I'm getting further away from the earth. Am I falling still? You just slowly start curling away. Yeah, that first gust of whatever. Anti-gravity. Pulling you to the side. Did you guys see that movie Gravity? That was a good movie. Yeah, yeah. With Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. It's a classic. It's a good one. That one was actually. I actually liked that one a good bit. But I also watched it when I was really young. Because there was another one that came out that I hated. Maybe it was that one. I think Gravity was. Gravity. I think it sucked ass, I think. No? I remember it being good. I remember seeing it. I watched it with my grandma. The Martian. The Martian's a banger. Yeah, the Martian. It's a little too silly for me, but I do like it. Good book. But I don't love the scenes where Matt Damon is like playfully explaining how he's surviving. And it's like, bro, you're by yourself on Mars. You wouldn't be making these vlogs being like, today we're growing potatoes from urine. You're freaking the fuck out. I'm lost in space. No one knows I'm here. After a while, you got to fucking. You don't turn to the camera. I think you do turn to the camera. After a while, you're like doing like fit pics and like progress videos. Get ready for me. Just like taking your shirt off and like, look how lean I am in space. Only eating piss potatoes. Yeah, that is true. It was written by the. It was a book. It was written by the same guy that did Project Hail Mary. Oh, really? Yeah. He's just writing about that same shit over and over again? Dude, he's a astrophysicist who like, you know, decided he had an idea for a book on a novel on how someone might survive being stranded on Mars. And then he was lauded for the accuracy with which he presented that scenario. Oh, really? Yeah. That's pretty cool. The piss potatoes is a real thing? I guess like the botany behind growing a potato on Mars with. Yeah, that was like, and then the physics of how he gets rescued and all of that. They were like, if that were to happen, it wouldn't happen. But if it did, he's got it pretty bang on as close as it could. Project Hail Mary is some goofy slapstick. That one's a little more goofy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Way more. Kind of. There was like an air to that movie. I didn't like an attitude. There was a beat to it. That was a little too. Like, I kind of went in with that vibe, though. It was like campy. That was one of those ones I decided before. I saw it that I wasn't going to like it. That's another one. Clemmer said it was like the best movie of the last 50 years. Yeah. I think me and Clemmer just don't see eye to eye on movies, which is fine. This episode of Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by Kraken. Kraken. Everybody has that one friend who thinks he's an absolute genius trader. Well, Kraken is giving you a chance to prove it. Kraken lets you trade over 600 crypto tokens and 11,000 stocks and ETFs. Now, Kraken lets you trade over 600 crypto tokens and 11,000 stocks and ETFs. pass, you have the chance to unlock a $1,000 funded account. And if you get funded, you keep 80% of the profits. Normally, the challenge costs $20. But Son of a Boy Dad listeners can get it free. Here's how. Sign up for Kraken with code SONOF1000. That's S-O-N-O-F-1000. Then deposit $200 and trade $200. Unlock your free challenge and see if you can pass it. Download Kraken and use the code SONOF1000 today. I feel bad. I kind of went a little harsh on him the other day. No, they said that they had a show talking about what you had said about him, where they were like, we're ready to go to war. And then they listened to all the points you made. And they were like, actually, Clemmer is a bad guy. Actually, he is fucking dumb. You know what's a great movie? Bounce and Whistles. Call him Tyrell on YouTube right now. Oh, yeah. That's a classic. Go on IMBD, leave a five star, four star, whatever they do over there. Go check out my crew. On IMDB, four stars would make it probably one of the worst specials ever. Oh, it's out of 10? It's out of 10. Fuck. Can I change? No, you listen to him. Can I change what I suggested? No, you guys listen to him. You said we don't do edits here. You only got one chance. This isn't Rogan, bro. Oh, quick follow up, by the way. Some guy DM'd me and was like, dude. I know exactly who your TaskRabbit was. She came in and did some work for my aunt, and then I had to go in and unfuck it all. Oh, really? So I think she does do a bad job. He got scammed by a TaxRabbit. People were saying they think it was a scam. I was saying I thought it was a scam. Did you go cheap? Because when they give you all the people to choose from. No, she wasn't cheap. She wasn't cheap. I chose her because she had the most positive reviews. That's probably the best technique, actually, is go, I don't go cheap because people expect the worst. I'll go over the top. People assume I'm great at TaskRabbiting. If I say it's $100 an hour, they'll go, this guy must, if he can demand that, he must be a good guy. But they weren't. They were terrible. And then he ended up having to pay her. They, them? $360. They got you with that shit over there in Dundalk. That's what started the problem. That's why he clicked on it. He goes, hey, I can screenshot this, show this around, let people know I'm a good guy. Is that for all of you or just for one? Right. It was just a chick, wasn't it? Just a regular chick? Yeah, but you had to pay her 350 bones for nothing. You paid her for two hours and a chick. She ain't even wet the brush. She said she was homeless. Yeah. Not even a dip. Didn't bring her own paper to put down on the ground or anything. Didn't do anything. No newspaper down or nothing? She didn't have any. She didn't even take her shoes off. She didn't have the supplies. You got Donald. I had to bring, I'd give her everything. And then I, as she was like, okay, so do you have plastic? Cause I got to protect your furniture. Yeah. And I was like, all right, we need to talk. When you said that, were you like, sit down? I sat down. I sat down on the counter and started swinging my legs. I was like, look, I don't know what to tell you. I've lost all confidence. I tried to be very gentle about it. You were like, get the fuck out of my apartment, man. I said like, I'm sorry, but I think it might be better if we go home. I said, I'm sorry, but I think it might be better if we go home. I'm going to go another route. It's not you. Wait, you hit the Obama in the Oval Office. Can we pull up that photo of Obama looking disappointed in the Oval Office? That's exactly what I meant. No, Francis was between two countertops and he like lifted himself up. Yeah, like that. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. That's so funny. Just looking at your shoes going, this isn't really working out. Look. I need someone who knows how to task rabbit. And you don't. Yeah. Someone who can really paint. I don't know if everybody. Everybody's a rabbit. Maybe you're not really a rabbit. She was so accepting. It was as if she saw it coming. I think she did. The more time I've had away from the conversation, the more I'm on the side. Was there not even a part of you? Because first of all, well, I don't task rabbit anything. But if I was, I'd already feel a little bit like either emasculated or something in there. And then to also get abroad would be like almost salt in the wound. So like, do you think your own little weirdness? Your liberal progressive bullshit fucked you out of three hundred fifty dollars? It was not clear to me when I hired the person that it was a gender neutral name, Jamie or something photo from far away. Couldn't tell the gender. I guess that's what I would have my name down. Yeah. Next thing you know, there's a chick fucking doesn't know how to use a ladder. So you had to get her a ladder. He did borrow a little pink, got a lot of nice little pink one. She wouldn't even get a little Toys R Us pink one. One on one having to fire someone at your own apartment before they even start a job is pretty. That's just got to be such an awkward moment. But don't you think you wish you had like some like Dino, some old like fucking hell? No, you would rather fire. No, but you wouldn't fire him. This old school. But what if you it would have been worse if it was like a jacked dude? Not even jacked, but like heavy balding. Yeah. He's from Brooklyn. He's from fucking. I just drove all the way up here from Brooklyn Heights. I came up down. I mean, yeah, that guy's putting up a fight. I live on Penne Vodka Avenue down in Brooklyn Heights. Penne Vodka. The most Italian dish. Yeah, yeah, of course. Penne Vodka. They didn't or a lot of people said, why didn't you hire Spud? Is Spud still doing that work? I don't. I genuinely don't know. What would it? What would it? What would it cost me to hire him? He makes more on Patreon than I could afford to pay him for a week of work. Yeah, I don't know if he would. Are they still doing that? I doubt it. I feel like they're always like they it seems like, yeah, you would assume they're not working anymore. But then every time we talk to them, it seems like they're very much still working, or at least they are still living the life of the job that they do. They're like the I-95 commuters or whatever, who just like they quit. They quit working, but they just drive in their car every day so they can talk on headsets. Dude, I could see me asking Spud to do that and it being that scene from Goodfellas where he's like, hey, didn't you used to shine my shoes? Yeah, I don't do that. No, one of the highest earning people on Patreon. OK, things have changed. I don't paint walls no more. OK, OK. I didn't mean no harm. I mean, they're paint my fucking house. I mean, they're always covered in paint. Billy and Spud can be old. I heard there's never seen him without paint on their. There's a story of these firefighters who's there's this huge blaze and the firefighters didn't see a lot of action. And one of the firefighters, like you really wanted people to know he was in the blaze. So he got on the floor and rolled around. Oh, classic. And that made the fire spread to like three more houses or something because he was trying to steal some valor. And I think that Billy and Spud might be doing something similar, just like doing run bys from like real paint. Sites and just like getting a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rub a little espresso on your shirt. Yeah. Here, throw some on my knee. Throw some on my knee right here. Put it in. Cut me. Yeah, cut my face. Splashing each other like a fucking Jackson Pollock. Working man. Couple of working men. They got soft hands now. Soft hands counting money. Two point eight billion dollars a year on Patreon. Working men. I'm fucking happy for them. So goddamn happy for them. Happy for those guys. So what are you going to? Are you just not going to get it painted? No. Some people hit me up. Oh, that was a bit of a bad signal, huh? Well, no, I didn't mean for it to be. But, you know, I do have all the supplies now and I need it painted. So you have all the supplies. And I bought all the paint for her. I had to buy it all for her. Did she show up, look around and said, OK, this is the materials that I need. I'll be back tomorrow to fix it. No, she said in advance. She didn't even look. So because I can kind of get that where the deal is, are you supply materials? I'll show up. I'll kind of tell you how much you need to do. And then we can get going on Monday. That sounds right. That would have been the right thing. But she didn't. She showed up. All right, let's go. Yeah. Stuff at 2 p.m. She showed up and was very surprised that it was more wall than she thought. Wall and ceiling. Did you try to? I gave her the square footage. You did? I prepped her. No, I wasn't trying to under. This homeless woman was like, I've never seen so much wall. This is the most wall I've ever seen in my life. What the fuck? You only need one. Now you're showing off. So this is the inside of the walls. I've never been on it. She's completely homeless. That's so funny. Poor of them. That's crazy. Francis, they're going, would you like a coffee? Do you want to get started in this room? He's like Penn Station homeless. Starts eating the paint off the brush. We only have 16 gallons of that. She's going one brush, one lick. You're really an artist. Nice. She's like completely insane. And it took him about four hours to go. I think I'm not supposed to say something. Yeah, you made her sound better in the story. She was actually crazy, but you made up a. He felt nice. but yeah no she wasn't she wasn't crazy what was she was she wearing like painter's clothes or just like furry fucking slippers and no yeah she got the slides on you know just like a pink bathrobe shower cap tinfoil hat all right yeah yeah you're going to there here's 350 dollars forget I just made croissants spin her around three times so she can't get back well that was the thing too you said she couldn't figure out how to get to your ad he was like she was looking down on on my home and was like I can't figure out how to get there and I was like it's in sight so funny what do you mean just drive to what you see so she came over couldn't figure it all out he had to go meet her I had to get in my car to go get her she's parked next to a cemetery on the side of the road she's sitting down on the ground you picked up the wrong person are you my are you my painter meanwhile there's a guy beside her head to toe full ladder Jimmy's paint Jim will paint there yeah you grabbed the wrong person get it get it oh that's so funny where is this guy being the wrong person is so funny she just went with it it's just an actual homeless dude he's got no idea where he's going yeah is that your cardboard what you need cardboard for the yeah for the furniture you need that right yeah you get the cardboard to cover the furniture yeah bring your dog bring your dog but like somehow that guy ends up being like a virtuoso oh yeah yeah it's like I give him the brush he's like oh yeah and it all comes into focus it's like a goodwill hunting style yeah that would be great so wait and did she refuse to leave unless you paid her $350 no or was there just it was the easiest easiest way to get rid of them we I I had to she had a two hour minimum on TaskRabbit so she had to couldn't she had to say that she'd finished the job and then I gave her $200 on top of that so I paid her rate for two hours and then gave her another $200 so I gave her $360 I don't know it doesn't make sense to me she drove all the way up yeah but that's part of the two hours she didn't finish the job though you just she didn't not only she didn't start but it was easier for you to say job completed than to say it became a thing where I was like I would rather pay I felt bad sure I felt bad classic she wasn't she didn't seem to be doing that well no and I had I had brought her to do the job it's like a cat wrapped around her neck I brought her to do a job that was gonna take her like four days of work it was a big job yeah and she was completely not up to the task and I realized I'd rather call it a severance fee or something like pay this person to get them out of my house get out of my building yeah yeah so now you're stuck with the old beige walls or whatever you want to get changed I've got like totally my walls are all fucked up and you're renting? no it's my place okay but like anyway if there's anyone up in like the Dutchess County area that knows that does interior paint whatever I'd love to talk to you I know there's a comic that does it still who? Rufa Rufa did painting for years and years I'm sure he still does it you know Rufa? mm-mm kind of whatever okay where would this woman have gone in between days? just outside? no she had a home which was which was confusing to me she said I'm between homes right now and I took that to mean I'm homeless but then she was like well you wouldn't say that to anyone without trying to suggest you're homeless yeah but hold on this is where it got confusing she goes then in a few minutes later she was like I live in a really small house a really small house on a farm and then I can't find a new place that allows my two dogs I have two dogs I can't they won't let me and all of her stuff was in storage so I didn't know if she was like maybe she was like squatting in that house past her rent or something like that and looking to find a new place she was probably going to squat in your place if you had just let her like she was probably hoping to get a good squat in on you like if you had gone out for more supplies or something like that she would change locks immediately I don't think you should say I'm in between homes if it's just like I'm looking for a new apartment yeah that suggests homelessness yeah that suggests you're living on the street if you say you're in between jobs you don't have a job yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah in between homes no you're at a home you're looking for a new home and she went down to the local bar at this farm this huge farm in Brooklyn and she went back to her farmhouse in Brooklyn tiny and then no she went to the bar and they all they drank they drank good that night yeah the bar hasn't been that busy in a long time she walked in all the drinks are on me boys and they all did a little yeah 350 didn't even change a fucking thing yahoo there's a guy willing to pay you not to work just show up looking really confused Daniela and they go another one did it again Daniela oldest trick in the book I'm sick of these little small time we gotta go for a bank we gotta work our way up these small little hustles ain't paying the bills you gotta be stuck there pretending to pay in houses for the rest of your life yeah fun times you gotta be careful well you know and what were the reviews surely she she had a lot of good reviews right but she was arching crafts and stuff the most the most good reviews there you go but who's hiring her not only that photos of the work she had done painting can you bot that maybe or something there's like a botting situation I can't imagine I think she was I caught her at the wrong time in her life but you said arts and crafts so you think she was going around making like paper mache fucking things for kids mobiles and like snowflakes to put in the window and shit like that but people are hiring people for that she just tried to level up on her skills she added a new category I can paint she's like I have finger paint yeah yeah yeah like oh paint imagine you I do I do you go over I do turkey hands you just got a handful of paint slapping the wall like one of those Indian street festivals where they yeah I should be able to just get this done nice alright alright you guys wrapping up out of there yeah I gotta do another show let's go let's get out of there check out my special please check out a special listen to cockfight yeah are we allowed to promote cockfight oh yeah for sure just about listen to cockfight listen to watch bells and whistles listen to Rogan Matt and Shane Pete Brosnan's best interview I listened to the Matt and Shane I haven't listened to the Rogan yet though you gotta crack that open I'll crack that open save a Saturday night a bottle of wine on the terrace a cigar and Guinness yeah cigar and Guinness well thanks for having me guys I listen to you guys I listen to this pod all the time I love it episode's over huh I'll see you guys next time bye