Anthony Cumia & Jim Norton - Thanos for Minorities - Episode 951

-Fill her up! -You're listening to the gas digital network. ♪ When you hit that bomb drop, blah, blah ♪ ♪ You know what to do, helping up the pit ♪ ♪ Bitch I'm coming through ♪ ♪ Big J, the battle rap champ ♪ ♪ All up in your ass with the strap, red attack, tag ♪ ♪ When it's easy in the building ♪ ♪ You better believe, never forget ♪ ♪ Okay then, got nothing on Steve ♪ ♪ Puerto Rican rattlesnake, venom in your face ♪ ♪ Natural born killers, lead you to skanks ♪ ♪ Why put the gun on fire? ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] [ Cheers and applause ] -That was out of nowhere. -What the fuck is that? -What's up, everybody? Welcome to your favorite podcast. To my right is always, it is the great Steve Renazizi. [ Cheers and applause ] To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez. [ Cheers and applause ] -We've got life. -And I am Big J. Oakerson. And we are the legendary Legion of Skanks. Thank you guys for being here. Three, four -- three, four life. [ Cheers and applause ] -Can't believe we've been doing this for 15 years together. -Unbelievable. -I think coming up on 16. -That's crazy. -Yeah. -Coming up on 16 years, you guys came on a very, very, very, very fun night. We are packed, sold out here at the stand. Comedy Club. -Shall we bring our guests out together? I think that'll be fun. -Whatever you think, Jay. -Yeah, everyone's going to get so fucking excited for this. You know they have a new podcast together. -I know. That's why I thought it'd be fun to bring them together. -Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You know our guests from wow, Compound Media. [ Cheers and applause ] -Serious XM. -Magnitude 3K Rock. -No, no, no, no, no. -W&W, W&W. -We were on K-Rock for a minute. Don't fucking tell me. Hold on. -Breathe minute, I think. -Don't say no. They were 100% on K-Rock. -Maybe. -Yeah, they would walk from serious XM to K-Rock. -Settle down with your fucking cigar balls, huh? -Fuckin' damn. -I'll tell you. [ Laughter ] -You might know. [ Laughter ] -From a new show, you might know I'm from a little new show called The Anthony and Jim Show. Let's make some fucking noise. For Anthony Cumia and Jim Norton. [ Cheers and applause ] -Legendary. Fuck you. Anthony, so happy to have you on the show. -I heard you say 16 years and I'm like, "Where?" [ Laughter ] -Natorious racist pedophile. Anthony Cumia. -Here he is. [ Cheers and applause ] -This is what it is. -Yeah. -He's not the only one, Lewis. That's true. -Oh, hello. -What? -Thank you guys so much for being here. -Yes. Thank you for keeping it a comfortable temperature in here. -Nice. [ Laughter ] -The problem is that -- -The air conditioner's loud. I know. 115 degrees on uncomfortable. -The problem is ONA fans and legionist kanks fans are so fat and they breathe out of their mouth so much that it creates some sort of like vacuum of hot heat. -Can we really not have air on? Is that what it is, too? -Yes, probably too loud. -No. -It was cold. So Alex had them turn the air off. -Oh, you're cold, so. -Oh. -Fuckin' petter legs. -So where they're on? -Pecker legs over there is fucking cold. So I guess let's fucking tone it down a little bit. -Yeah, Alex, maybe stop wearing short shorts, you fucking hoe. -Oh, yeah. -Stop being such a chilly whore bag. [ Laughter ] -Try? -Jesus Christ. Isn't that a sweater so we can't even see her hard nipples? -Oh, great. -And it's old nipple. That's all she's got. -Oh, my God. Now the hot chick waitresses are fucking hipster boots. -I know. What's going on here? -What's going on here? -He's upside down. -Backwards Bizarre world. -It really is. -Hey, it would be nice if I had a drink. -But, uh -- -Seribal Paul, where are you? -Yeah, he's gone. What have they done? -We have a -- The problem is we hung. -God, Gary Intern has cerebral palsy. -Yes. -Oh, right. -Yeah. -Could you spill him a rum in cold ring? -And Dandruff, by the way. And Dandruff. I'm looking at that black shirt. It's filled with Dandruff. -Beer Dandruff. -Beer Dandruff, sure. -So what? -I'll have a mic ultra. Do you want me to go get it? Like a chore. -I'm going, thank you anyway. -Seen a half hour. -You should have asked them to bring it to. -Yeah, exactly. Remind me to get him a hurricane for his birthday. -Seribal didn't want you to get it. -How are you the fuck up? -It's kind of like -- We're really returning to the days of shock-shock radio. We have retorts. [ Laughter ] -I'm excited to have you guys. You're a brand new show. I mean, let's plug it real quick up top of the Anthony and Jim Show. Very, very cool guys. Finally. -Not a moment too soon. -Yeah. -No, yeah, sure. People were clamoring for this nine years ago. -Oh, yeah. -Do you know how many people have said like a strike when the iron's cold? -Got it. [ Laughter ] Everyone thinks I'm making a clever joke. It's like, "Oh, we got it. We waited a long time. Too bad. It's here." -That was Jim's nice way of saying, "Heard it, Lewis." -Oh, yeah. -You hit him with the joke. -That was amazingly fat. -Yeah, that wasn't bad. -That was bad. [ Cheers and applause ] -We have a -- There's like a slingshot for him in the hallway there. -Oh, wait. Could I get up? [ Laughter ] -No. Once he gets moved, but he's fine. -Yeah. -When in motion. -Yeah. Well, look, I'm very excited to have you guys here. I think -- Guys, I think we have something missing off the notes. -Oh, no. -What's that? -I'll go -- -Sense to your ear. -My birthday? -I'll tell you in your ear. -See, your birthday, Jane? -No. -Oh. [ Laughter ] -I know. Now I feel terrible. -Oh, don't. -What's this guy have? [ Laughter ] -Ooh. -What's missing off the notes? -Keep going. All right, yeah. This is distracting. -Yeah, yeah, sure. -Yeah, yeah, sure. -So, uh, another subject, guys. -Yup. -While Lewis has a whisper conversation with the guy. -Keep going, he says. -Yeah. -Keep going. -That's bad shit. -Yeah, I know. -Do you have to walk away if you want us to keep going? -Yeah. -Here we go. -Yeah! -We go home. -Yup. [ Cheers and applause ] -The battle snakes piss us. We are on our way to a possible incident. -Who is that guy? -Who is that guy? -Everyone's going. Everyone's getting it. That is Lewis J. Gomez, my friend. -The other guy looks like Hitler when he's at the Eagles' list. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -That's Jim Mike, that's our producer. -He's about to be killed. -He does a little daytime theater as Hitler from the thing you said. -Oh, good for him. -What's Lewis over there? He's aspirated. -I don't know, but we're about to get Lewis in rare form. -I mean, very normal form. -Oh, man. -Is he like the boss of the company? -Yeah. -He's the boss of several couples. -Yeah, he's the boss of several companies, if you can believe it. -Welcome back, Lewis. -Look who's back. Boss Haas. -Sorry. Would you have to make a sales phone call? -Jesus Christ. Take your fucking hat off. -These two nads. -How many? -We don't show hot books here. -You're the boss. -Get a bunch of stew nads working for us. -Yeah. -Was there something missing from the sheet? -100%. -Did you have to go over there and just start fucking throwing haymakers at people? -Yeah, what happened? -What happened over there? -Remember the game we were going to play was he good? -Yeah. -It's not on the sheet anymore. -But if you remember, you could have just said it. -No, it's not that. It's a bunch of prep. -Oh. -I can't remember. -Everyone just blinks. -You can't pause that long. [ Laughter ] -But we're going to make your earn it through a game, apparently. -Yeah, dude. -This is the antidote for AIDS. -Look, I'm very excited to have you guys here. We have a bunch of fun stuff on the show today. We are going to actually pick our ugliest pussy winner. We didn't get any more ugly pussy submissions. -Do you have ugly vagina? -I tried to do that contest on something. We couldn't get anybody to send in the pictures of the-- -We got six. -Oh, that's so good. -You got cockpicks. Let's be real. [ Laughter ] -From you, thank you. [ Laughter ] -We were all disappointed in ourselves because we said -- we called the contest -- the ugliest pussy contest. And then 19 of our first 20 submissions were pictures of Lewis. [ Laughter ] I got to be honest, I was disappointed in myself for not seeing that coming. -Yeah. -What's an ugly pussy? Look, is it -- what does any pussy look like? -I'm not just saying what is a pussy look like, Jim. [ Laughter ] -What's an ugly pussy? Your wife's cock. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, imagine a beautiful cock. That's an ugly pussy. -That's not an ugly pussy. That's a tiny pussy with a really big clip. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] -But I like the ones that look messy. I like the fucking big clip. -Oh, you'll love them, then. -Oh, no. -You'll love our contestants. -It's like an explosion in the stake 'em. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, an M80 in a mailbox situation. -Yeah. -Like someone who survived a shotgun suicide attempt. [ Laughter ] -Drop chewed Hava Bubba on the barber shop floor. -Well, you got -- I mean, you guys were, like, the fucking kings of crazy contests. What was the craziest contest you guys had? Obviously, the fucking of the church got you fired, which was crazy. -The thing we did a lot was the Whiffle Ball Bat Challenge. -Sure. -We would have girls come in, and there was a -- I think it was once a year we would give out the trophy, and take a Whiffle Ball Bat and see how -- -The barrel -- the barrel -- -Oh, of course. -Yeah, of course. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] -Of course, the barrel -- -What is this? -It's real radio? -Yeah, of course I am. Guys, I'm going to self-medicate from that. I don't-- I feel bad about you. We'd bark it off with a sharpie and put it in a case. It was a very, like, weird thing. It was called the Motley Crew Challenge, because Motley Crew had done it or something. We called it the Motley Crew Challenge. Yeah, and it was great. It was a-- Who have the deepest pussy? We crowned Jim. So his ass, Jim just didn't throw it. I was so embarrassed. Something about Jim, my pussy. I took a size queen from day one. So look, we're just going to pick our way. We thought we're going to have more to go through, but we probably don't have more to go through. See them? -Well, we weren't pleasant about them. So we're going to do this real quick. Let's just show Jim and Anthony. And I mean, I think I know the winner is already. I think there's one that really stands out from the rest. But please, give us a view of-- So this is April. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait. That's an ugly one. We agree. -I agree. We all agree. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one is that? -That looks like a regulation-- -Pussy. -It's a fine pussy. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, OK. -Hailer. -I mean, that's fine. -Look, the contrast's a little off of-- -Yeah. What do you want, gold, the bloons falling out of it? That's your pussy. But you can see, like, she's got a couple little white dots over there. You're going down on that, you're like, what are these white dots? But I'm the lips. -But he's right. That's the exposure issue here. -That's yeah. -Yeah, yeah. Her pussy is fine too. -It's fine. -Look at the white dots. -What's this? Now, this one's weird. -Now, this one's a little gnarlier because it looks like there's like a crystal in it on the right. Let's get a little weird. Oh, god. Yeah. -It's much strange. It looks like one of those things. Like, it looks like someone tried to plug in one of those Superman crystals and get a message from back on Kryptop. It looks like a metal target when you hit it with a 30-odd sentence. Yeah, that's so far in the first place for me. That's a really ugly-- -It's kind of fat and round. That could be a coax boon in her pussy and the spoon parts hanging out. Could you zoom in one more time, please? OK, yeah, it could be a coax boon. There could actually be a guy still inside snorting off it. That's weird. Yeah, it's so weird, but just his chase. What's wrong with that? It's a fucking-- -That's a good one. She's just a fat pig. That's not even that ugly. That's the thing. A lot of times, they're just pigs. They're fat. Most of the time. You could tell just by that. Yeah. Well, her pussy is framed by her, the fat from her thighs and belly. So you see-- -Yeah, yeah. -Jace, we sure want to go after the good humor truck. Because these girls are fat. Because these girls are fat, they just think they have ugly pussy's-- And they're right. Because-- Nice bunch, stupid. So far, there's not one pussy. You would be literally one beer away from fucking. Yeah, it's fair. It's fair. -Her pussy. -Oh! -I present you more. -I present you K. -Yep. -All right. -Hey. -Woof. -I call-- I call your one beer. -Yep. -Oh, yeah. And I raise you K. Anthony would fuck her if her name was K-K-K. [ Laughter ] Yeah, that's a really ugly-- And you could tell she's heavy, because like the way our fingers are put, like, lifting it up so you can see it. By the way, if she was a-- a fucking defensive lineman, she would be telling which direction she's going, because she's leaning right because of the white, the white fucking-- -Just go. -Yeah. That pussy flew into the train center. -She is a lineman. I'm pushing a C-T-E. [ Laughter ] -What angle is this shot from? I can't tell whether they took the picture. -Yeah, I know. -Wow, is that ugly? It looks like someone got a bad one, yeah. -And this is Carrie. -I can't see. -How can I even see? -It's a lot of her problem. We can't really give it a score, because it's just a black hole. -Yeah, there's smaller-- Smaller pussy's orbiting it. -Fucking crude. I was so that every one of these women look like they live in absolute filth and squallery. The backgrounds and like the beds and the bedrooms, or it's really not good. -Yeah, it's like you're waiting to get a job. I have to look halfway a house or something. It's like you're first like you're trying on your own. -Yeah, she's snapping a picture of pushing. The picture of the dog is shitting on her pillow in the back. It's fresh peanut butter on his lips. -Yes, is that it? Is that everybody? -That's everybody. -Yeah, I mean, I think it's-- -I'll tell you my vote right now. -It feels like-- -It's all of us. -It's okay, it's obviously possible. -Yeah, either Kay or the one with the lamb head on. -The lamb head, yeah. -Did you notice that? -Well, the weird bubble that's coming out of her pussy is fucking me up a little bit. -Yeah, yeah. The projectile coming out of her fucking head. -Whatever, I don't know what it is, and it's bothering me. -It's a cactus leaf. -It looks like an asteroid smash into her fucking pussy. -I can keep going and just deciding what things look like. -That's it. If I make it biological, it looks like her urethra is below. -What? -Her vaginal opening. -I'm just looking at that. -That is not how it works. -Oh, wow. -You're saying the clip parts in the bottom. -Yeah. -It looks like it's supposed to be on top. So she's either doing a headstand and not too bad, or she's the way she is. And it's terrible. -We may have flipped the photo. -You're absolutely right. -Oh, god. -The clip? -No, no. -Her legs are that way. -The spoon. -Yeah. -The spoon is covering where the clip should be. -Thank you. -And the clip and piss hole are below the spoon. -Thank you, doctor. -Sh. -I was part of the radio show with clip and piss hole back in the 90s. I'll be in my office. -Can they lighten the photo up at all? Is it possible for them to lighten that? -No way, Jim. Hold on. -Yeah. -I say that about the country. -Do you want to go over there? -Yes. -Someone over there, Lewis. Get them to lighten up the photo. -I mean, well, you know, we do a meeting every week. We talk about things. We say things. -Oh, I get it. -It's fucking crazy. -I get it, dude. -I wouldn't have. -Kill two of them. I don't care. -Everyone in the green room was so impressed with our meetings. And now we like fucking idiots. -It's fucking insanity. I mean, I think we all agree. -Yeah. Kays puts these in nightmare. -Kay, you are. -Yes. -What did she win? A news. [ Laughter ] -Kay, change your name for Skankfest, though. -Yeah. -Yeah. -She won Skankfest Golden Tech, and nobody wants her there. -Yeah. -Oh. -I don't know if it was the only contest we go, I guess, K1. All right. Next week, we start the prettiest pussy contest. We just did this. We got this out of the way so we can get to that. -Yeah. -Contrast it, compare. -Well, that is. -Same shit. -It's so good. -That's terrible. -It looks like my dad's asshole. [ Laughter ] -You? -Yeah. -It does. -It does look like your dad's asshole. -Andy. Andy, what was the ugliest pussy you ever saw? -Oh, my God. The ugliest pussy I ever saw. [ Laughter ] April 9th. -Picture it. -Like this. I was in the Navy. -I was probably too drunk to remember. -I can be every pussy you see. [ Laughter ] -The valid point. -Oh, Jesus Christ. -Yeah. -No, they're all, you know, they're all a little weird looking, a little alien looking. -Yeah. -But, yeah, I don't really, I don't really have an ugliest. -No, I have a little story. I'm sorry. -They're all pretty good for the most part. -They're all pretty good. -And they're all pretty hideous. -Yeah. -Like they're all nice and they're all. -Yeah, yeah. -At the core of it. -It's how girls feel about Cox, too. -It's a direct hole into your body. -Yeah. -It's kind of gross. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -That's what I say while I'm fucking. -But I'll prove you wrong, though. I'll look at your pussy. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, yeah. -We ball, you know. And it's a mystery when you hook up once you get in. -You don't know beforehand. -Yeah, you're like, "Ah, she has one. [ Laughter ] -Be it false advertising. You and your post-op shit. Hit the road, sister. [ Laughter ] -I won't say what I was surprised in my life. Was that sometimes the tiniest chicks who I thought are like the best bodies I've ever felt up with? -Have the beefiest. -Oh. -Yeah. -Well, the meat's got to go somewhere. -Jimmy would talk about liking a beefy meaty pussy. -Yeah. -I do, I like it. -Yeah. -A skinny girl with just an embarrassing big fat. -Yeah. -I've seen it a lot. -I've seen it a lot. -I've seen it a lot. -It's like Rocky's eye before he has to make it a cut 'em. -Yeah. -You have to, like, origami it before a picture of your bathing suit. -It looks like Rocky's eye, and it smells like the gym. [ Laughter ] -It's not a cock, but you still have to tuck it in your ass cracks so you fucking think of a girl. [ Laughter ] -Yeah. -I like that. -Rook, we have a few things to talk about here. We are, by the way, we are hooking up Steve Renazizi and Anthony Cumbia to the light detector test today, guys. -Let's ask Steve if he's mad at me. [ Cheers and applause ] -I got no lies. I got no secrets. -No secrets. -Never told a lie. -It never told a lie. -Look how small that Pinocchio knows is. [ Laughter ] -Oh, boy. -It's all right, Joe. -Yeah. -Oh, you just talked to Drink on Steve. -Yeah. -Two shots. -Oh, wow. How does it feel? -Good thing I want to know. -I feel terrible. -Right. He's never feel terrible. You're like, "Oh, dude, fucking casualty of war." -Yeah, you stink like the Keela. -What did you just drop? -Lighter. -Yeah, a lot. -Why are we wearing headphones? We don't need headphones. -I know. I'm sweating. -No, no, no. -Well, if there's something on screen. -We are notorious for screaming over each other. -Everybody hears a pro, dude. Everyone hears a pro. -Yeah. -Well, I'm going to wear my headphones. -Oh, yeah. You're not just fell asleep. -Oh, my pro. -Tell us if we're screaming over each other. -Okay. -What's that? - People love that. - No, I'm kidding. Give me a favor, Lewis, can you use police to show? - Yeah, can I, please? - Guys, all at once, your favorite date you've ever been on. (laughing) - I don't wear headphones, I'm gonna kick your ass. - What happened with, if I gotta come back over here, you're fucking has gone through that table. - I mean, it's just crazy that I would have to even say this to them, it's the thing. - Where's the thing, where is it? - It's not gonna be on the thing, it'll be a little bringin' up eventually. - So, let me remember it, I wish I had it on the sheet, so I could- - Do you know, by the way, they put the questions on mine and then scribble them out. - It's just crazy. It's fine, Steve. - But I love it, I just crossed it off, so I don't go up a chance to look at it. - I love their mistakes, how do you feel? - We're gonna get to our line detector soon, but I wanna talk real quick about Mario Lopez sharing an AI video of his 19 year old niece. This was like a thing that he's in hot water for. - What? - He's in hot water. - They're in Spanish. - Dude, it's different. - I better put the cans back on. - You better put cans back, say? (laughing) You're not gonna be able to hear what Mario Lopez is. - All right, here we can, it's in the room. - That's his daughter? - Get the fuck outta here. - I can't take my niece anywhere. - I can't take her anywhere. - Hey, I, oh my God, look at you. - It's so good. - You're a mess, the mustard. - Yeah, that's supposed to conjure up my head. - Asian jizz. - No, thank you. - Why is he getting shit for it and they said it was sexual? - I guess it's sexual. What are people saying? - She took two dogs in her mouth. - It's pretty sexual. - I don't fucking need AI, you retards? - No, for sure. But I mean, it's a weird thing though, one to me. - Yeah. - Did he make it? - That's what it, that's that's what it. - Did you want me to make it a story? - Oh, he shared it. - Yeah. - That's kind of funny. If it's something stupid in AI, you share it to show like, yeah, this didn't happen. - I fucked her. - Anthony put mustard in her mouth. - That's different. This throws people off, that's it. - Anthony heard 19 and he's just defending this blindly. He doesn't. (laughing) - Yeah, 'cause he's buzzing. - Help the old broad out. (laughing) - Me, meesh. (laughing) - Yeah, that didn't strike me as sexual. I made it some-- - Nah, it was just messy food video. - Yeah, it was, where's just the idea of a hot dog? - Yeah. - You know, dumb broads, if I may use 1950s vernacular. - Dumb broads, for your-- - Ding mats. - Yeah. They think food is a sexual thing because of that stupid movie. What was that? Nine and a half weeks. - Nine and a half weeks. - Yeah. - Oh, we made the popcorn. - The popcorn. - The refrigerator and they pulled out food. Get the fuck out of here. - Yeah. Totally nude, missionary style. Greatest sex ever. - Yep. - Just like my grandma did with me. - Put your legs together and on my shoulders so I can't see your dumb face. (laughing) And fucking take my seed. - On your stomach or on your side. - That's it, you get it. - Was that fucking-- - Did you hear it? - Yeah, this was-- - Oh, is there a mustard on those lips? Do you see mustard on those lips? (laughing) - Maybe that-- - I always come home and I put my hand on the TV and you know what, it's always hot. (laughing) - Just call me late four supper. - No, I mean, food is weird. - Food for sex? - It's never sex. - I've never liked it. - No, I don't, I mean, I've done it but very like-- - It's juice. - Whip cream? - All of it. - In high school, my girlfriend had a carrot that we kept in her fridge. - And I would use it on her like, I use it on her for like a month and it's just sort of-- - It was too cool. - Wait, you used the same carrot for a month? - I used the same carrot over and over. - Yeah, I mean, put it on his dick and put it in front of the horse's mouth here. And then I used it in the winter. I put it on the snowman. (laughing) - Did it start to run-- - So it was gonna get a coke nose, it was bleeding? - Yeah. - God damn, I can't believe I even go, get the carrot, the carrot, the carrot, get the carrot. - Yeah. - And they went, "Carrots did." - No! - What's that? - I wanted to turn her on, and she was fucking me as I was using baby carrots or shoving them in one by one. - I don't like food and sex, just never. It's never a sexy combination. It's never fun. - It's a wickedness and a lot of cleanup. - Yeah, I feel about lingerie or anything. It's their thing. - I like lingerie. - It's a speed bump to what you wanna get to. - All the stuff, caring about the, caring about the, by the way, I'm big for a play. But like, the obvious for play, it doesn't have to be a seductive dance or a fucking thing. - No, you're pussy for a whole bunch of time. - You know, you don't do it for a play with force. - A is pussy, you're not. - Is that what you? - I like lingerie. I like to some of the thigh highs. I like a little bit of a dirty poem. - Oh, got it. - Pat crotchets. - You're trying to be attractive to a guy. - I have course. - Hey, yeah. - You need all the smoking mirrors to distract you from this giant cuff. - Don't look over here. Don't look over here. - Oh my god. - Jim, you probably like fucking big share head pieces and a kind of stuff. - Hey, come on, guys. (everyone laughing) - That's not enough. - No, this is going into the gutter. So I'm like, so lingerie, not full-fledged lingerie, not a bunch of different pieces and layers. I don't need a garter belt and stockings and then another vest and all this other stuff. - If I try to chick-hot, I think the hottest thing is just her fucking panties. - Yeah. - The one she wore that day. - I think it's the hottest thing if I like a chick. - Get down to those, quick. - Yeah, if you walk out of the bathroom and she's already naked in bed, it's fucking awesome. - Yeah. - What do you do with a little show? Ooh, look at my high heels and fucking get out of here. - Oh my god. - Take your clothes off, you punks. - Having, having to nod at a woman humiliating herself while dancing in front of me and lingerie, I go, all right, I'm biting my lip and I'm gonna tell all my friends, you're a doofus. (everyone laughing) - Any woman that fucks me is humiliating herself. - You've been humiliating herself. - Cerva Paul, can I get one more shot? I still want one on Steve's. - You call him Cerva Paulsy? - Yes, Cerva Paul. - Cerva Paul. - Paul Paul. - Well, no way. - They have to call him, you don't want to say, hey, CP. (everyone laughing) - It's my name. (everyone laughing) - Wow, what a coincidence. - Yeah, Anthony, his biggest disability is the color of his skin. (everyone laughing) They didn't notice the cane. - Is he a white guy? - He thought it was a pimple. - Yeah. - Yeah, he thought that was when the cane was four. - I didn't know he's easy, I think he's a white guy. - No, he's not a white guy. - No, I didn't. - He's a white guy. - Give a good one. - Here he comes. - He's liking it. - He gives a new need to stutter step. - I'm gonna say Hispanics, I think his parents drank tequila when she was pregnant. - He's got cerebral palo. (everyone laughing) - I don't know. - Spanish joke. - It's good, I like it. - Cerva Paulsy? - There we go. - Thanks, Cerva Paul. Make sure you put it over me first. - It's good, no, I'm driving. I don't need too much. - Yeah, don't worry. - That's braces, crutches. (everyone laughing) - Pus. - Yeah, you okay? - It was said while holding something flammable, you dragged that over here. - I know, it's not flammable. - It's a movie, man. - No, son alcohol is flammable. - No, it was a joke. - Those playing alcohol is flammable, but I think there's no alcohol at all flammable enough to flick a cigarette at it and burn. Is that true? - No, one 51 will light completely up. - You flick a cigarette at it. - Out of 51 right now, fam. - Yes, it is. - So are the cigarettes. - No way. - You don't think so? - What's that? - It is a 151. - Gasoline, pull out fire in the end though. - I'm dousing G Mike in 151 and I'm flicking my. - Yeah, that was a light up. - Mike, it's only $3,000 that's fucking true and I'll give you 2,000 of it if I win. - It's 75% alcohol. - I would owe you 1,000. - That light's right. - Ever clear we'll light up fucking like that. - Yeah, like that. - Yeah, we'll do it, but that's the best. - Booze, that's a chemical. - Oh yeah, yeah. - No way. - If that happens, head falls off. - I'm gonna fucking kill somebody soon that way. - I'm gonna douse them and go. - Just douse them. - Dude, I'm gonna get fucking go. - Pink, dude. Ever clear? I will light up. - I drank that. I was so like messed up. - Guy who interrupts, doesn't have a story to sell. (laughing) - You ever seen a friend on a fire? - You mean Everqueer. (laughing) - G Mike, do me a favor. Put on Steve's already dry, amazingly waterproof pants. (laughing) And fucking let him douse you with one 151. - Evercrawl it. - Evercrawl it. -What are you saying? You saw in a movie. -You were the moon shiders? The fucking bar. -I'm just saying, no, I know not all of it. But 151, you use it. I worked at a Mexican restaurant, and we would make something. -Wow. -And we'll again. And we'll again, it's so mean. -We will again. -The only reason it was mean, because he wasn't even kidding, he really meant it. I saw him, he wasn't even trying to make a joke right now. -No, no, no. -He will again. -He will again. -He will again. He will again. -He will again. -We just manifested it, bro, and I believe in that, because I'm not doing it. -So we used to make fried ice cream, and the way they would make the fried ice cream, if they have an ice cream ball, they'd roll it in cornflakes, then they put it in the freezer, then you would take it out, put it in a little dish, dalsine and 151, a little bit of whipped cream, light that bitch on fire, and it was a flambé. -Yeah, you would use that with a lighter. -You'd get it through like a cigarette. I always assumed that something that's flammable, a cigarette could lighten. -A gasoline? -I'm pretty sure in Robocop, the guy takes a cigarette and the gas pump and makes a blow to it's impossible. -I didn't throw a cigarette into gasoline, and it'll put it out. -It won't light. -No. -It'll put it out. -The vape for real. -Give me some gasoline. God damn it. -My dalsine has your body and 151 and a half of your body and gasoline, and let me shine lights up first. -And I will give you two of the, now we're betting $4,000. I'll give you three of the $4,000, Mike, if you doubt something gasoline, and 151, and let him flick of cigar you. -Do it! -He said. -He's looking it up right now. -Yeah. -You watch too many action, Mike. You see looking up and finding out I'm right the slow motion cigarette like drive this color. I'm gonna shoot your Gas tanks. We all want maybe maybe I wouldn't make a bet like this over a Zippo lighter. Right maybe you're not betting your life on it like you You're not betting your life on it like you get a Zippo lighter because it's a Zippo on a Zippo lighter into gasoline You don't think it's gonna light it on fire. Maybe do that's crazy. Maybe I'll bet your $4,000 a Zippo gasoline will light a can of gas on fire. I said maybe. Yeah, Lilith. Yeah, hold on. I don't speak indefinite like you You speaking pure definite for sure. So if that's gonna light it gasoline or 151 prove it for $4,000 We already looked it up. Oh, throwing it. That's a big fucking G. Mike. It's a dumb bet. That's not gonna have to be something else I bet you can't jump a thousand feet in the air but I could Yeah, I bet you can't long jump farther than me You definitely can you could definitely long what have you ever seen me did me long jumping is the funniest thing on the planet I can go exactly three and a half Buddy, I don't sell out though. I'm not gonna sell out I'm not gonna fucking jump where you're like sell you put your feet in front of you and eat shit like that Oh, that whole thing. You're talking about just a broad jump forward. Yeah broad jump forward. I can be in that for sure down to Bet me $4,000 but you can beat me in it. Yeah, I'm betting on this is right and then you go first Yeah, man, I'm a little bit of a bitch It's all about mass No, I'm not I my my body does not propel forward that Lewis doesn't have Lewis is Lewis is tough who is to fight. He's got all that and he's got like the he's got the motion of that down Lewis doesn't have sports grace at all Basketball he didn't play sports growing I'm never dead. I'm not taking you as a long jump or either I'm not saying I'm a long jump, but I'm just saying Lewis as he just told you if you told me triple a basket bump in that accord it would look hilarious I think it's just physics. I would go with you just based on mass and gravity and motion going forward I didn't hide your show momentum. Anthony might not be seeing Monjaro Jay you might still have You might still like me when I was a fluffier lady. I'm more cuddly bitch. I lost bets in my life So maybe this one I'd lose - no, I 100% would lose. I'm not that wouldn't be the one Well, we have to figure out something before skankfest some sort of contest a limp contest But Steve we're gonna do a gun in the butt challenge this year Steve you will do it. You'll do the challenge. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Yes, he's a good We have so we don't think about this other guy, but he wouldn't do Long jump I long jump to high school. I would track in high school. What I will long track and feel I ran track and field in high school Really did you do the long jump? Yes, really? Why is he running, but I just wanted some attention Drive the lies down the lies, but there's no bit behind Yeah, there's no reason to lie. Who cares? He was a champ. It was a suck of pole, so fun. I did oh, yeah I did Anthony and Jim's podcast and it's so funny They were Jim was telling stories it so when I came into New York and Keith brought me in Kevin up Jim was like an already established guy working it so I never that worked that really well for me Fantastic, okay, you got on this radio show you love But no fuck now I forgot what I was gonna say Oh, you're coming into New York. We brought you did our show is a lot of fun. Oh, no It's stories Kevin Kevin Hart Kevin Hart Kevin Hart Oh, yeah Keith was involved there was a key for us up coming in. You had fun on our show Wait before the show wait before the show on your way in you were in traffic Traffic I'm sorry. I think I'm doing radio with Bruce Willis You're doing a podcast with Bruce Willis what are you fucking brood? I sure would fact that I just said radio What if I come back to him? I mean Bruce Willis How was how fun was die hard? What's die hard? Let's show him a clip Dude Just I want to say Joe. I want to hear what Jay was gonna say he doesn't remember he drinks and smokes too much This happens three times an episode, but he's fucking you'll get sure he'll figure it out. All right guys Let's take a quick moment and talk about body brain coffee. Come on. Yeah, baby Now hyped up is this crap for body brain coffee. I didn't want to talk about the coffee Coffee's great naturally supported testosterone and mood and brain function I want to talk about the brand new body brain creamer that just officially went on sale today guys Go grab the body brain creamer which sex perfectly with body brain coffee. It's got quarter-set mushrooms rodeo Rosé a collagen peptide see it MCT oil coconut milk powder base. It's absolutely delicious. It's made in a warehouse with naked black women Yeah, so make sure they don't steal the ingredients show it up their pussies. 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Yeah, Ultras a nicotine substitute alternative I want to look badass, dude, and I also want to go without no tropics and add dude You want to go what you can be this one dude do tropics? Well, I think I do tropics and adaptogens and adaptogens, Steve their pouches Like that's not real adaptogens. Yeah, they're good. It's a good thing. They're real for real Yeah, dude, so instead of using a nicotine pouch, they have a new tropics. They have alpha gpc Which is an extremely powerful new tropic. Okay, uh b12 vitamin b12, which I beat that shit. Yeah, dude So you put a little pouch in your lip that's that you're a little buzz and got great flavors I use the tropical flavor. They also have mint. They have a blue raspberry, which is absolutely incredible Love that they energize you. They they give you super So instead of taking a fat nap in the afternoon and I pop one of these bad boys in and I'm playing volleyball with my boys That's absolutely okay. Now we're talking dude. 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So with the thing that they left off the list that I think they've now prepared What was in it what what was the actual thing which I hope to fucking god they prepared yeah because the fury or about to unleash on them It's gonna be next live dude So Alex We did this last time Anthony was on the show and I thought it was a delightful bit. What is the name of it? Anthony kumia compliments black people -Yes. -I love it. -It is. -Oh, my God. -Some people speculate this may have been the best thing for your -- for your third act. -Fly the act, exactly. They invented the light bulb for fuck's sake. -Yeah, so in this segment, we've compiled some great videos from the Internet of Black people being black. And Anthony, it is your job right now to do the opposite of what you would be doing on Twitter. -Doin' what they do. -I love them. -Whatever you do on Twitter, this is not that. We are going to look for the good in these people. -Before you judge early, remember, they're a musical culture. -Like, I can do that. -They're a very musical people. -They're very musical people, but their body's going to move. -We've got a few blacks in the room right now. It's fucking crazy. -Oh, my God. -They're waving. -We put them on camera so we can have you here not to cancel blacks. -Just stop it. -I used the term "Chut the Builder" uses it. [ Laughter ] -He's using his a verb. He's using his a verb. -Yes, he got it. -You got it. He's going, "Shut the fuck up. We got a good thing going here." -We got out of jail today. He got your donation. He got out of jail today. -He did. -Yeah, yeah. I'm a million down, you're right. -I guess that he came here. He fucking donated the $1 million to "Chut the Builder." -Anonymous benefactor. -It's the funniest thing ever. -Great. -My ex-wife told me she was working with me this weekend in governors, and she told me when Anthony had a bunch of shit coming down on him for racism, that they got him to sponsor my daughter's soccer team, mostly black players. And it was like, "Hey, this looks pretty good, I guess." And he was like, "Sure!" So my daughter played a season with like, you know, Anthony compounded me, he, he, he, uh, yeah. My daughter, my, my half-Hispanic daughter, and all of her fucking black teammates. By the way, my daughter, the goalie, just getting shells. -I had a choice with my million dollars. Childhood leukemia, "Chut the Builder." -You're trying to get a guy. -He's out. -He's out, yeah. -Sorry, sorry. We have a few different videos now we're going to bring out. -All right. -Do you remember your, it's your job to find the good in these people? -Can we get multiple screws? -Of course. -I think so. -Leave your cane behind and bring back two Michelot Boltrus. -And a peroni. -Yeah! -And a peroni. -Seribopal, this, if you believe, let's leave. -Let's leave. -Let's give it a challenge. -It's a spirit. -It's a spirit. -It's a spirit. -It's a spirit. If you believe, you can fucking do this, Seribopal. ♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha >> I think that was second. >> Oh, jeez, can I have the chode, a bottle of chode? >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Oh. >> Didn't bring the peroni. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> You forgot the peroni. You fucking retard. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you, Peter. >> Thank you, Peter. >> Thank you, Peter. >> Thank you, Peter. >> Thank you, Peter. >> I don't think you're a piece of shit. I think you're great. >> Why don't you do a little fucking dance, spider? >> Dance the peroni back here. >> Do you ever see that in Goodfellas? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that was awesome, dude. >> That was sick. Damage him. >> Jim, that was sick. >> The poop, a fucking breaks. >> The big sweaty hand on the break handholder, that's right. >> All right. Video number one, G Mike. >> Oh, I better pay attention. >> Easy, easy. >> Easy, easy. >> Oh, boy. >> Now I gotta find the good in this. >> Is he whacking off? >> Is he playing with his dick? >> Don't act like you didn't find the good all that. >> Oh, he's looking at a fat woman. >> He's looking at a fat. >> He's looking at a fat white woman and playing with his dick, Anthony. So you have to compliment this guy. >> All right. >> Is she white? >> Maybe not. >> She's not white. >> So I gotta find something good in this. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, it's not gonna be the aisle because he picked candy, it looks like. >> That's tough. That's tough to know. Oh, the store is owned by Jews. >> [LAUGH] >> Shit, no, wait, wait, wait. >> The show is called About Black. >> You have the compliment black people. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> So you're complimented this guy. >> God. >> He's filling. >> Come on, Anthony, you can do it. >> I'm trying. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. This guy's an honest man. He's doing what everybody wants to do. And they see a nice ass in the store. This man is an honest man. >> Okay, he, yeah, he's a, >> No, you gotta use your own answer, but I was just showing you how he knows. >> I know, I know, this is tough. >> All right, he's doing it where it says there's a mob thing, like wet posture, a little. >> Yes. >> So at least he's taking into consideration. >> He's considerate. >> People safety. >> He's considerate. >> That you could slip on jizz. >> Yeah. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Damn, Anthony, that was hard. >> That was hard, that was beautiful. >> I knew you would do it if I just believed. >> Yeah. >> All right, let's pull up another video. >> All right. >> Here we go, and here it is. >> And. >> Fire and wear it in this. >> Uh-oh. >> That's on World Star. >> Whoa. >> Oh my God. >> Holy shit. >> All right. >> He's back. >> Whoopsie. >> He's back, he's back. >> Anthony, I feel like I can give you this one as a lob. >> Yeah, I got a tag. >> That guy's probably going to commit a crime. And now he's been slowed down a little bit. >> That's right. >> Yeah, so we can say that this guy's doing the Lord's work. >> Yeah, he goes, you probably a pedophile or drug dealer. >> Now, there's three or four people I could say. >> You know, one of you just a compliment each of them. >> Just the guy, okay, look, this guy's like, come on, man. He goes, go kill him, do not kill him. >> Let me kick his ass. >> You think he wants to tap in? >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. >> Come on, man, he's the way. >> He ain't even a white girl. >> [LAUGH] >> Chill, bro. >> That ain't even, that ain't even a white girl. >> You kill a brother. >> [LAUGH] >> Kill a white bitch. All right, and what about the, what about the guy is getting beat up? >> The guy that's getting beat up, I think everyone else wants to help him. He's shirtless on a hot summer day. So obviously he needs a hoodie and a ski mask and things to keep him warm, bro. >> Can we say? >> Anthony, you have to compliment him. >> Yeah, by the way, no. >> Anthony, keep in mind, keep in mind, he's wearing khaki pants, which does indicate job of some sort. >> Stop. >> He has a job. >> You could steal anything. >> [LAUGH] >> It's okay. All right, he's unconscious. Hey, he can't commit a crime. >> Yeah. >> [APPLAUSE] >> There you go. >> He is currently not committing a crime. >> He's not committing a crime and I don't think he will in the next like 10 minutes. >> That's true, man, which is a record. >> That's good, that's good. >> Man, I'll tell you what, this is already not going how I thought it would this fast. We are cooking through this. And what about the guy who is beating him up? >> Is beating him up? Well, he's resilient. >> He seems to be, yeah, he's very talented. Yeah, he's very talented and he gets back in this obviously stolen vehicle. >> [LAUGH] >> But he is beating a criminal with death almost. >> He is, look, I don't know the circumstance. >> Until the road worker guy was like, come on, young brother. >> The guy on the ground may have complimented a white woman. >> True. >> So he might have been upset by that. >> And that would also upset you so in turn, that's a compliment for him. >> There you go, man. >> All right, yeah. >> [APPLAUSE] >> All right, one more, let's do one more video. >> Thank you, black guy who turned in Emmett Till. >> [LAUGH] >> Anthony, I think this is one that you actually shared on Twitter, right? We have one that Anthony recently shared on Twitter. >> One of the thousand? >> Yeah, this is it. I saw you sharing this one, that's why I was inspired. Because on Twitter, you had no, you had no compliments for these people on Twitter. >> Yeah, really? >> No, no, on Twitter, I think it was something like the only thing. >> I don't even think about it, good, bad and different, I just post them. >> You speak, you speak from the heart. >> Whatever's happened, the videos happen. >> That's right, it's true. >> Call me, you see him. >> Let's get some compliments going. >> Let's say, right? >> Can I say something before you watch this? I want to say, there is, the problem is there's no market and there's no one filming. The wild and wonderful whites. The dribs of white society are pretty equally fucking hilarious. >> Wow. >> But no one's getting like a camera on them the same way. I watch a lot of baddies, which is, The worst of the worst black people fist-biting each other with their titties out. As complete garbage, it would be absolutely as funny if you had a bunch of toothless dumb fucking low-billy bitches. Look, Jack, you are so right because, let me tell you why, no one's getting a camera on that. On my way here, so many hillbillies tried to fuck me. You're absolutely right, Jack. You're right, we're being run over by hillbillies. Yeah, yeah, that's it. You know, when I go to take money out of an ATM, I'm like, "Hey, hillbillies, holy shit, let me run across the street, slap your door lock down, hillbillies!" Damn, dude. What I said was even more gay than drinking a diaco drink. Oh, shimzass. All right, so let's do this last video. All right. All right, it's a casino. Yeah, this is on a cruise ship, Casino. Yeah, I guess Carnival was booked. Pause, first of all, to consider getting involved in a long-term problem with somebody when you are locked with them, and only a couple of other thousand people in a very short square space. So you're going to see them in a hallway, you're just going to come across them. Let it go on a cruise ship. That's the place to let it go. We almost did get into a fist fight with 3 days grace on a cruise ship. He threw fucking wine at us. Dude, it told us to shut up. We've told him so many times that I'll give you the abridged version. Who's 3 days grace? A terrible stupid fucking gay ass band. I hate everything about you fucking slap. Great song. Great song. Great song. Can I tell you something? I recently watched a video and I'm proud to report and I mean this. When that song came out, he was not in the band. Wow. It's not even the guy. It's that guy to the far right who looks for all types of purposes like he's a Legion of Skanks fan. And he should be. So we're doing a live podcast on a cruise ship 13 years ago for anybody who we were. We're super, super early in the game. We're literally in the middle of like a hallway. They put us to do a live podcast. Nobody wants us to be there. They're waiting for a DJ with the, one of the like the basis from that band is supposed to DJ. So we're doing a horseshit podcast. Nobody's laughing. Nobody's listening. The audio doesn't even work. So at one point, the guitarist is like, get off the fucking stage. You guys stink. Oh. And everyone's on his side. Everyone's like, yeah, fuck these fucking losers. So then we start calling him a fag. I'm like, fuck you, faggot. So he comes over and he's got a glass of wine. And he went to go throw it in Steve's face. You remember the Steve? Oh, I remember. We're like yesterday, dude. It was Steve. He went to go throw it in Steve's face. But you know the way a wine glass is shaped like a bowl. So he went to go throw it at Steve. You a wine glass is shaped just like an aim directly at my face for some reason? Oh, we have the video. We have the video. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Before that, this is the aftermath. So he goes to throw it at Steve. Steve looks weirdly like Dave Smith in this video. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, really. Damn, dude. That's young Steve. Yeah, young Steve. You got fat. Thanks. I know. I know, baby. So did young Steve's getting there? So he goes to, all right. So imagine we're in that configuration. Imagine he goes to throw the wine glass at Steve, right? Yeah. But it hits the bowl and it spins directly into Jay's face. Oh. So Jay is literally covered head to toe or head to chest in red wine. And then we say we're going to fuck you up. Then this video happens, right? Go ahead. So by the way, he's not backing down. He's like, I will fight all three of you right now. Hey. He's being sort of walked away. He's doing this. He's going, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's being casually walked away. He was probably looking at Dave and going, I could fuck him. Yeah. Yeah. Steve, I was scared. I tell you something. You know, it's funny by this. I don't know. It's a very funny comedian named-- Go ahead. Richard Ronovich. Richard Ronovich was our guest. He was opening for Jim Brewer. Jim Brewer was also on this boat. Oh, wow. It was one of the heavy metal cruise ships. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Richard was on this show. He was on this show. So he was on this show. One of our commitments to the weekend was to do two stand-up shows. And a Legion of Skanks Live. I think we wanted to do a Legion of Skanks Live. And we did in this place. And after us was going to be a DJ who was the drummer for three days' grace. He was not hammered because he was about to get ready to work. But his guitar player was fucking hammered. Red wine hammered. Yeah. The man who used to have the hammered. Dressed like a pirate and he came over and fucking, and he came over. If you're drinking red wine, you're willing to watch somebody bleed. By the way, considering what we were doing, we had a handful of fans there. And a few other people just sitting around. It was fun. People were laughing. They were having good-- he just became-- he was hammered. It was all his ass. People weren't-- you're remembering wrong people. We weren't murdering in any sense. No, no, no. The audio wasn't connected through the speaker. You don't understand. Like, you don't remember how bad it was. It was horrible. People were-- Come on, Jay, remember it. Steve, you remember-- The audio was horrible. People were furious. You're not supposed to remember it that way. I must be wrong. It's two versus one. We were all three versus that. [LAUGHTER] Making Steve be the decide that we were all there. Yeah, it's true. Clearly, Steve says we were there. So we guys-- We were in there. Long story short, they separate us, right? Then the promoter of the event-- This is crazy. This makes me angry to this day. I had to look at this promoter in the face five times. So listen. The promoter of the event comes out-- this is his idea. He was like, I'm going to go up to the Legion of Skanks and go, hey, you know what? What's his name again? Barry Stark. Barry Stark. He goes, Barry Stark wants to-- he feels bad. He wants to apologize to you guys. So we're like, all right. All right, we'll do that. James is still dripping red wine from his nose. I'm still dripping. [LAUGHTER] He goes over to-- he goes over to Barry Stark. And he goes, hey, just so you know, the Legion of Skanks feel really bad. They would like to apologize to you. I see you, bro. What? Yeah, he double fucking played us. Why he catches us? I'm actively looking for him. Christine sent Lewis and Dave to be like, stop J. Yeah. He's like, he's like looking for. He's like running through the club where there was a karaoke going or something. He's running the looking for him. So they kind of catch me. And as they catch me, the guy from the boat, the guy who runs the whole thing came up to us. He was like, yeah, he wants to apologize to you. And he'd already talked to him and said that we want to apologize to him. And they bring us to a back-- Like a-- Yeah, a little hallway. And we get surrounded by-- I mean, 15 security guards. Oh, shit. It's crazy because they knew there could be a problem. And then we stand there. And it's kind of me and him talking at first. And I'm sitting there just waiting. I go, well, all right. Go on. And he goes, yeah. And that went, what? He's waiting for your apology. Yeah, I go, I go. So I'm the first one to say I go. I don't know the guy. Danny said you guys wanted to apologize to us. He goes, fuck you, fucking fat. That's the three of us. He goes, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Dude, I mean, we're sitting there going, like, oh, we have to-- So then Lewis, four had to four had to wait with them. And then security's way, way involved. And then they started forming us basically. Everyone gets, like, has to be forced to be in one weird-- they having a prison, but it's a hotel room. Yeah, they're like, we're going to put you in. We're going to put you in the basement. You're not going to really-- Yeah, you know where fucking Leonardo DiCaprio and Titanic were, the van, iris, go. Oh, you can do his draw, fucking, portly iris, chicken, a fucking car. And we were handcuffed, and we had ballgags or a mouth. Do you remember in that movie when the band was playing and they were all jumping off the ball? I mean, that was so nice. Fuck that, man. That was nice. That was nice, fucking shit. Watch the available Anthony and Jimmy shows. There will be no more. I cannot work with this man. Let's do some plugs. Oh, wait, we didn't finish that video. Then we'll do plugs for the line of that. We got to compliment this lady. Hmm. I bet she says it again. Yeah. And again, Anthony. Anthony. I don't think that makes you a genius. It rhymed with her lessons. It's all it takes. I mean, look, she's consistent with the way she communicates. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tell this bitch, that's the bridge. Tell this bitch get out of my face. She's nodding your face, leave her alone. Trying to play wheel of fortune slots. Here we go. Uh-oh. I mean, to be honest with you, she did tell her to get the fuck out of her face like 10 times in a row. Yeah, the problem, the only problem with that logic, Lewis, is I don't see a point of this where she was ever in her face for a second. We missed, I've seen the lead up to this is not the whole video. This is part of the video. She's in her face. Yeah, the other woman came up and pushed her and slapped her. And said, "I bet you won't yell back at me." So wrong. Okay. I thought she was in there. I think it was a little bit. I thought she would yell at me. That does change the narrative just a little bit. Oh, let's go. You know what, dude? Big change away this week on the bonfire. I just think so too. That kind of hundred. Sir, if you contact the show, leave this gangfest tickets for sure. Oh, yeah, that got rules. Yeah. So Anthony, you have to compliment this woman. Well, keep in mind what Jim said that she had previously been attacked by her. Yeah. That was very shocking. Beside the fact that security later took her down to the bowels of the boat to Ro. Yeah. I. Yeah. I do think. Yeah. It is almost Star Rules on Carnival these days. Of course. I will say. Because I know a little behind the scenes, the captain was having a problem with the boat listening to Star Bird. They put her at the port and it just sold everything. Wow, that's good. Sorry. She saved the boat. She saved every one of the boat. Yeah, so we owe her the crew. Also to be here, to be fair, we did bring her here tonight. Best stand up. It was a mess. She's got her wig. She's still beautiful. Oh, great. You, sir. Ma'am, you save the corner. You save the corner of the dream. Yeah. You look un-beweavable. (Laughter.) Let's do some plugs real quick. We got to hook up Steve Renazzo and Anthony Cumea to the very, very terrifying lie detector. The accurate lie detector, FBI-grade lie detector, doesn't he have? We're going to find out. We're going to use to the bottom of these fucking sabotages today. The lies. By the way, just so people know, I wasn't asked to do it with the people I think I said no, I won't. No, no, no. No. You're such an open book. What could we ask you, Jim? Are you a fake? Yes. Okay. By the way, what are these things? Have you ever had gay thoughts? I'm having one right now, Jay. (Laughter.) Literally, we're doing me, T-Bag and Cumea laugh, and I fiver. We talked about, "Oh, I'd hate that band." We talked about doing all three of you, but there was a consensus that you're a fucking, there's no way, there's nothing we can ask you that you haven't just admitted already. Yeah, I know, I know. That's like a superpower. Yeah, use me. I'll take the power. I'll take the power. I'll take the power. Yeah. I'll take the power. So let's do some plugs, Jim. What do you plug in my friend? I hate dates. Obviously, the brand new Anthony and Jim show. Go subscribe to that link now, guys. Yeah. Do it the best in the best. Yes. Patriot. You guys did for years and years and years. Show us like Legion of Skanks, gas, digital. We don't even fucking exist. You guys paved the way. So you really love you guys. Yes. We really love you guys. We love you guys. We really love you. We really love you. I'll be a Knoxville and Dayton in a little over a week. I gotta push it. Dayton again. Come on, Lewis. Dayton, place in Ohio. I can marry you son of a bitch. With two bad knees and a dream to be coming. I got a dreams game dream. Fruit. Anthony. Oh god. WABC Radio Sunday night 8-11pm. WABC. How is it that I'm the only one out of all these motherfuckers that has an FCC compliant broadcast radio show. What a bunch of dumb fucks at WABC. Is this a good OB impression? Oh, it's more. It's radio one AM radio. Oh, it's all. Enjoy your 20 views on your video, my friend. Oh, it's always in the beach though. Always in the beach though. Always in the shore. Yeah. Generation. Generation of wealth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's go ahead and let's see. Go first. We're going to hook up Steve from the line detector. All right. All right. Steve Renzi.com for dates. I'm hit by guys. The mothership coming up. I got hilarities and Cleveland. Check out the website. Also right now. Cameos. Almost done. Fantasy football. So get your cameos in now. And I'll do them fucking real quick for you. And you're stupid fucking Lee. I'm going to pee real quick while you guys. Yeah, good luck. The bladder of a hummingbird. Yeah. He really has. I said to podcast to piss breaks. He pisses and shits out of the same hole like a Robin. And other things happen out of the hole too. And I don't want to go into. Jim is a cloaca. Wow. You did good in school. Didn't you? Big day. That's my sister's name. Cloaca. Cloaca Jenkins. Big day. Big day. Big day. Big day. Comedy.com for all my dates. Grace. The upper life tour happening right now. Look for a senior you. It never ends. I'm on the road every weekend. Coming up. We have Mark Reley's comedy cast. The first time there in like eight years. Royal Oak Michigan round started to Troy. Please come. Fucking see me. I want to see if I can go out that weekend with the dads against Predator guys again. Those are the guys who beat up the fucking pedophiles. Yeah. Fuck them. They're fun. Yeah. It's just sickness. You're outside of your Anthony. That's so quick. Guys guys guys guys guys guys. I got a little bit. This might be it. This might be a good fucking. I just. I just. I just. Take on my eye. What do they call that with a fucking. And they're my conflict of interest. Conflict of interest. Yes. Albany coming up also. All over the place. I don't know how you. Let's do this. I look at your dates and it's like. I'll tell you exactly. You can day one day off. I'll tell you why. 26 weekends in a row. I just came off at one point. I'll tell you why. At some point they're going to realize. This is ridiculous to pay us for what we do. I just go up there and talk about balls for 45 minutes. When they pay me. I'm like, what? And they want people came. All right. Whatever works. Whatever works. It seems fucking amazing to me. Of course listen to the bonfire five days a week. Faction talk. Series six. I'm going to be in the great Robert Kelly. And. Robin. Right over here. I can't see it all story wars coming to a senior you as well. I go to my website. Lewisusgangs.com. The right on me this tour. I'm off in this month. But next month I'm back on the road. I'll be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Portland, Maine. I'm very excited about that. Rochester, New York. What the fuck? Vancouver. Portland, Oregon. North Charleston. And more. So you're in South Carolina. How far are you from North Charleston? Like a hundred miles. Okay, never mind. Too much. Greenville. Okay. So Anthony won't be there. And. Will I be at Skankfest, you motherfucker? I, I spoke to Jim about. Hold on. Hold on. I'm pinning you down right now. I want to be at Skankfest. You fucking swaps. Oh my god. Oh, what happened? What happened? I'm not even. I'm not an owner of this thing. Look at this. Look at this. And I do this. Whoever shows. I haven't had hand in one person being booked for the show. That's not true. Per son. Mike Fenroya. Ten years in a row. Mike Fenroya. This will be Mike Fenroya's second Skankfest. That's not true. Third. Jay said to me, Mike Fenroya has only been on Legion of Skanks one time. We looked it up. It's been 23 times. Well, let me know. It's not because he's a whop. Um, go to my website, Lewisofsank.com. Get those seconds. Oh my god. So the squad is high enough. Maybe I'll find one of your hidden fucking tips. No. Look, we. But dip. Dip. Saps. I'm not working. I am working on Anthony Cumea being at Skankfest with Jim Norton. I am working on this. As we speak. As we speak. We got to find out how many yards away from children the venue is. By the way, I don't piss and shit out of the same hole. Oh, I did say that. Make sure you go to also if you love the show, we do a bonus Friday night show. Just the three of us every Friday and I call the Friday night hang. So subscribe to gassage or do you get that? Plus you get the uncensored. Not this week, but. Yeah, we're. But you get the uncensored ad free version of the show. Um, and you get access to the undermine library over 900 episodes that aren't available anywhere else. All ad free uncensored censorship sucks ads fucking suck on these shows. So make sure you go, go subscribe to gassage. It'll use the promo code LOS grab my book knives and spoons and God bless America. God bless America. God bless. God bless. Beautiful America. So, uh, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it's time for the Legion of Skanks. Line Effector test. Yeah. [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Uh, so we have Steve right now. So what they do with the line detector is they hook up Steve and they're asking his baseline questions. Right now they're getting his heart rate. They have a bunch of monitors on him right now. GMike, we actually had to pay about $8,000 to get him certified to do an FBI grade line detector test. Wow. This is a very big deal. [Applause] Oh, he's certified to do this. He's certified to do it. He's the only person on the staff that is actually able to administer this test. [Applause] By the way, if the electricity goes out, he could just do it with his fingers on your pulse. [Laughter] And his mouth on your cock. [Laughter] And he says, are you going to come and then you're lying? No, no. [Laughter] [Laughter] So Anthony, what's funny is we did ask Anthony before the show. I didn't want to just spring it on. I was like, "Will you do the light detector?" And I was like, "Hey dude, it's fun. Don't worry. We're not going to try to fuck you." He goes, "I don't care." He's like, "Ask me fucking anything." Which is crazy. Because with me, when I get hooked up to it now, I'm like, "Guys, do not ask me this long list of things." When you've done a show with Jim Norton over the course of many years, there are days when you're like, "Whoa, there's sure nobody has any news to talk about." And you just start talking to him. about your life and your personal life after it all comes out, I don't think there's one thing I haven't discussed on various radio shows that I would be like oh shit. So you're very confident that you're gonna pass this line of tech. No lies being told today. Oh I'm not confident I'm gonna pass it. I'm just saying I don't care what you ask me. I may lie. But we'll see, we'll see. On site. Yeah. Where are we at right now? Do you Mike with Steve? 30 more seconds to ask him his first question. Very cool. Very good. I'm very excited. Yeah. You're the first Lewis? Sure. Sure. Sure. Why not? I see these on the crime shows like because when you stay in hotels, what do you watch? You watch forensic files and everything and they you know this is legit. I saw them hooking them up with the thing around. This thing is breathing. Yeah. Okay. A lot of times the police will use a lie detector test to eliminate a suspect. Sting! Even though it's not admissible in court. It isn't. Very good. That's what our new podcast is like. Fun facts with two cruds. We are ready for our first question for Steve Ranesee, Jake. Awesome. Steve Ranesee. Long to 15 years this guy. I've never known Steve to be a liar. Ever in my entire life. So I've never even gotten worried he lied to somebody else. Question number one. Stephen, honestly, level with us. Were you in the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001? Oh no. Is that a sir hand, sir hand? Oh no. This building three coming down right there. Yes. We're going to calibrate this thing. We're calibrating it. It's all, it'll just pull up Big J's Day. It's a more time. One more time. I just want to make sure that they need to reset for a moment. Yeah. September 11th. Famous to receive. Ran from the Twin Towers. I don't know. Who didn't? Where were you at at 9/11, Anthony? I was in Brooklyn. Yeah. I was running for my life. I thought the buildings would, yeah, I was on show road. I saw the whole thing. But I was like, yeah, I'm fine. I was standing underneath one, telling people, come on, I got you. With your ass in the air. Oh, right. Yeah. It's terrible. I kicked a couple asses on flight in '93 and then I fucking parachute out. I made sure we got the, yeah, I got the people that were in the aisles, the guys in the cockpit, everybody else took care of, but I fucking shooted out of them. My car broke down. I had the 20th hijacker. I'm sorry. Sorry, bro. Traffic traffic, man. I can't fucking match. We make it go away. Zacharias, we are ready for our second question. All right. Steve, family man, you got to be family. It's great. Love your family. Love your kid. Love your wife. Steve, is there an amount of money you would never speak to your family again for? Yes. Affirmative. Yes. $250. I have it in the cup holder. Preferably cash, but I'll take like credit cards, statements and credit cards. Steve, by the way, you're sweating right now. Well, I've had this, it's not, it's really cutting off my, sorry. Yeah, please. I'll try to stay still. It's 150 degrees, and I don't know what the next question could be. Why are we going to have air conditioning? What if we don't? He was talking about it in the tower. It's a big place. It's a big place. It was so hot that day. I got to stay still. You ready? You ready? Okay. Okay. Steve, do you feel there is a woman in the past that you've dated that might have been the one who got away? And you're married, remember? K from the pussy pictures. No. Wow. That tells me he thinks his wife is watching. I believe him. His wife is, he told me he warned his wife. I'm doing this just so you know, some things might come out into the air. Yeah. What about you, Jim? Anyone in the past might have been the one who got away? It's hard to say. I never really wanted to be married, and this was an immigration thing. Oh, Jesus. Is she from Transylvania? Well, not now, but like old transsexual Transylvania. No, Lewis. Fucking Nelju. It's actually a stupid question. Nelju. Steve, do you see the Legion of Skanks as an overall career downgraded? Any comedian that would say no is lying. No. Don't we have to see if he was lying? Yeah, they will. At least he said it. Yeah. You know what? I don't care if he's lying. She's a stupid machine. He loves us. Just words. We are ready for our last question for Steve Renazizi. We can only do five. We set it up for five. Okay. Um, yes. Um, let's see. Oh, this is a good one. This is great. Do you think that you're funnier than Mike Feeney? Oh, someone gets the joke. Yes, we got it. Yes. Yeah. Uh, Steve's gonna wait till he's done calibrating, right? You're all good. Ladies and gentlemen, we're time for Steve Renazizi. Get a shout out to the lot of Dr. I give you the F-D-I. Steve, was that a, how annoying was that? How frustrating? It was frustrating because, well, the first joke got fucking destroyed by that the smash of the glass. That's true. That's true. But yeah, also it's hot over here. And as soon as I heard you say something about my wife, I was like, here we go. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That flying colors. You're all good. Even though you thought of a very specific woman's name when we said it, I don't know if you're, you passed with flying, I still feel it in whisper today. I feel like you waited out in your head and you're like, no, no, I'm good. But I think that's where he fucking catches me. I think you're going to get inconclusive on that one. Maybe it'll be, it'll be a lot of truth lie or they sometimes say incline illicit. You know, that means that he's lying. You have no real thought. You get real thought. But he's like fucking pinching himself or fricking himself with a needle. No, I have no, I didn't, I didn't chat CBT on the train right here, how to beat a fucking lion at that time. Yeah. Good. That's good to know. I don't have a tack in my toe right now, tapping it. That's good. That's good. That's good. I like the way they're in square. I guess what did they, the questions he asked me to get a base. Yeah. We're like, have you ever, like, it was like, not like, you know, do you live in New York? It's like, have you ever stole something? It's like just horrible questions about what is it? Jimmy, is there a reason for that? Because he knows that the answer is yeah. He's like, obviously, yes. So you just want, and I'm not going to lie about that. But literally it wants to see how people's heart rates act when yeah, yeah, yeah, something stressful. Yeah, but they're not simple. Like, do you live in New York? Are you a man? Yeah. It's like, they test your stress that was over your shitty things. You're done, right? That's what Jim Norton said to his wife on their first date. Do you live in New York? I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. And it's cute that you think I would actually pay for the date without knowing already. They put the sensor around her dick. You have to glue two sensors together. You don't. So I'm going to give him the result you see before you hook up Anthony, are we doing Anthony first? Yeah. All right, yeah, we'll be over there. Oh, yeah. Anthony, the great Anthony, come here again. All right, great. Fearless. Fearless. Yeah, when I did it, I was terrified. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, he's been through the Norton bird trials. That facade. Guys, let's take a second to thank our sponsor, Brunt Workwear. Oh, baby. Brunt Workwear. This episode of Legion of Skanks is brought to you by Brunt Workwear. You've got to check out the Brunt Workwear. potty of gold sweeps takes from now to on September 18th. Brant is giving away one lucky winner 50,000 bucks baby. Holy shit. Yeah, entering is completely free, but every dollar spent earns more entries. Just create a Brant account or use your current one to get started. It's a very, very simple and these are amazing boots for sure. They have all kinds of workwear, but they started off with the boots, which they sent us, and I wear them so much. They're so comfortable. Yeah, like a worn-in pair of sneakers, the second you put them on, great for the workplace, great for home, great for yard, whatever you want. But you don't even have to buy them. You can just enter the sweeps without buying them, but if you buy them, you get even more. More points. 50,000 dollars. I know our fan base. We look at the demographics. 50,000 dollars would be life-changing money for anybody that listens to the show. And by the way, Brant, Brant Workwear, Brant Workwear is like going out nice outfits for these people, too. Absolutely, go on date night. Oh, this is the local Italian spot, run by another fucking tonseless hillbilly. But for a limited time, Legion of Skanks fans can get 10 dollars off at Brant when you use the code Legion of Checkout. You just hit the Brantworkwear.com and use the code Legion. While you're there, make sure you enter that Brant Potty of Gold sweepstakes for your chance to win one more time. 50,000 dollars. That's everyone in the family's teeth getting fixed. 50 large. One more time, Brant Workwear.com. Use that code Legion. Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank GLD for supporting the show. I'll tell you in a best fucking jewelry on the Planet Chains, earrings, rings, watches, elevate any look. I'm going to spend, I'm leaving tonight to go to Spain. I have my Cuban link chain. I'm walking around. I'm going to look like a fucking million bucks. You're going to get robbed. No way, dude. In front of your son, he's going to see you at like a bitch at gunpoint. Please, but no, please, don't look Papa's pants. Papa's being his pants. I'm embarrassed. I'll tell your mom what it was. That's not going to happen because James also has a Cuban link chain. So if they try to rob me, I will push James in. Oh, that's awesome. That's an easy take. You can traffic him after you take this job. They're valuable. You can see and feel the high quality craftsmanship and every GLD piece, and they have real golden, every piece in handset stones, really great, very weighty, amazing quality pieces. And all you got to do right now is go to GLD.com, okay? Because not only do they have great deals, they give you a lifetime warranty. You're going to give this to your grandchildren. You can't replace your son, but you can replace your chain. This is generational wealth. You're passing town to your kids and your grandkids. GLD.com is a website code skanks, is the code you use to say, "Get this. 40% off. Holy shit. Get it out." jewelry. That's what control. How do they make money? I don't know. Once again, GLD.Jues, they figured out. GLD, three letters, GLD.com. Use that promo code skanks, 40% at GLD.com. All right. We're worried. Cook the books. They're definitely cooking the books. So Anthony, asking his baseline. It's stressful as shit. Once we realize it, it works. Yeah. It's real scary. I know. I was like a couple of my cow fuck. This could be a lie. I almost got Lewis to confess to pedophilia. No, no, that was your plan. And then it turns out I was in a pedophile. Luckily. Yeah. What happened to not be a pedophile yet? Luckily. Yeah. But he had no idea. Luckily for the kid, you know how awful that would be. I'm going to keep this between us doggy. You said anything I'm going to kill your parents. I did feel bad, but I did think about it and they were like, "Well, what if it would have come up that I was a pedophile?" I go, "Well, I should know that, so I could stop dealing with you." Sure. We were going to give it all up over a lie to take to the pedophile. Yeah. It was all over. Yeah. Well, Lewis, if he's definitely confirmed pedophile, then this thing we got on Amazon. Wow. We got this thing on Jeff Bezos's Amazon. So I mean, if it says Lewis is a pedophile, I have to fucking abide by that. No, you know. Absolutely. Try to do a more episode together. Try to keep his piece of shit off the streets. We're also doing shows in the date in the waking hours of a child. Jim, what's the last big lie you got caught in? Last night, I was okay. No shit. No, not a terrible one, but my wife knew that I was fucking watching porn in my office. And when she came in, I switched to our Patreon real quick. As she goes, "I know you're fucking watching porn." I'm like, "No, I'm not. You idiot, you're wearing glasses." And I saw the reflection go from a white screen to a black screen immediately. So she caught me watching porn less. Not a big deal, but it's still nice. You're not allowed to watch. I'm allowed to watch it, but it's I spend too many hours and you know. Well, it's like the "I am right here" thing. Why are you jerking off? Yeah, I wasn't jerking off, but I would have if it weren't for you. Well, that's actually researching? Yeah, okay. Watching porn without jerking off is serial killer shit. No, I like the stories. You're like frame 738, it turns her to the side. Yeah, as soon as he has passed the STEM and freeway sign, I can come. See, what's the last big lie you got caught in? I mean. No, not that one. No, not that one. That's the last one. But you know, it's funny, because like I did that stern interview and he was like, "Well, what's the other like, you know, have you ever told another lie before anything else you want to talk about?" And I was like, "Yeah, but not right now. Like not today." Like, I think I laid enough out today, right? He goes, "All right, I'm bored of that shit." Yeah, I'm like, "Look at me a break, dude." But like, yeah, all the normal shit. Thank you. I mean, there's, I mean, I guess, I don't want to say it out loud, but like, maybe I had a business dinner that I wrote off that wasn't that technically. A business dinner. A business dinner. Any bite I eat is a business bite. Yeah, I mean, if I. I'd never put a dinner on anything other than my fucking business card, for sure. It's all business. Yeah, it's all business. If I don't eat, I can't do business. I need to fuel myself for business. Hot dogs are business. Yeah, man. I used to write off escorts as business. I'm going to talk about it on the radio. Research. It's fucking show research. Writing off an escortis. Can you do that? Actually, no. No, there's got to be a. I mean, can you take a shot at it? It's a crime? You think a shot at it? What if you took a business? What if you took a business trip? You took a client to Amsterdam or to legal? Worth legal. And you buy them a fucking hooker. Can you legally write that off? Hey, boss, if you're getting them one, your minds will jump in the one next to you. Probably. Well, for spitball, what if we buy a boat and do a podcast on a boat in international waters, and we kill hookers and, you know, interview people and do stuff like that? The children, animals. Yeah. Taking the possibilities, dude. Can we write off the gas? Oh my god, dude. Skankfist, uh, fucking 11 at sea. Now, hear me out. We can have bare-knuckle fucking fights. Dude, international waters is. I mean, isn't that completely legal? We could do whatever the fuck we wanted. We can get a couple of girls to make them breeders and we'll just fucking go out of fantasies. Yeah. Could we be head someone in international waters? I think we absolutely, I think with zero prosecution, absolutely we can kill someone's head. We didn't, um, maritime law. I think that's fine. I think you just can't have weed. Would you guys. Where's the bits out to the fans? Like, um, apparently there's like crazy story that I've gotten a few suggestions of people to do. But I think it may be too hardcore for the show. I want to put out to the fans that are watching this at home. There's a story of a bunch of Asian kids that were torturing puppies. And apparently there's videos of it. -Right. -Should we cover that on the show? No. No. Yes! No. Ah! One guy, these guys barely mean their no. This guy really means his yes. That's true. He does mean his yes. I would say no, but I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I always go whatever, I don't give a shit. Yeah, maybe not today, but maybe not. Calm down. Let's see, we're not doing it tonight. We're not doing it tonight. We're not prepped. Yeah. And then you hook up your dicks to a thing and see if anybody gets hard. [ Laughter ] And if they do, they're a hero. It makes me furious that they hired male waiters for us because we sexually harass them. -Yeah. -Do you want his hat? Just when I. Boo! Just when I got back to my leave of absence, they got fucking. Sir, do you want us in here? Sir, do you want to go to Jamaica with Lewis? Yeah. [ Laughter ] Do you know there's expectations on that ticket? Yeah. Well, you're not going to free trip to Jamaica. You're paying for something. Gas, grass, or ass, dude. No one arrives for free. Anthony Kumi is ready for his first line-attack question. [ Cheers and applause ] Anthony Kumiya, if you had the power to snap your fingers like Thanos, and half of the racial minorities disappear instantly. Would you do it? Yes. Yes. Half? [ Laughter ] Boo! [ Laughter ] Hey! Hey! But all of you are like me and this guy, we're gone, too! Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe. Yes. Yes, okay. Do you want? Do you want? No, there's a chance you lose the good ones. You don't have to get the pick and choose. Some of the good ones are going to go. Yes, he's. [ Laughter ] Yeah. Oh, man, oh, are we ready, uh, let me know when we're ready for the next question. He'll give us a thumbs up. God damn it. Anthony butt is, uh, I would never, I know the answer, never mind. Anthony, unfazed by the way, man chill. He loves it. Not sweating like I was. We're ready for question number two. All right. Anthony, have you ever done anything gay for your own pleasure? No. All right? No. You did it for your uncle's pleasure. All right. We learned to ask the question that way because we wasted a question on one of our interviews. We said if we ever done anything gay and the officers, he was like, yeah, yeah, my uncle, he molested me. So then we had to reconfigure the question to avoid that. Yeah, you had pleasure. You caught out. Yeah. But without saying what gay is, that's a great point. I mean, that's me in the mirror. We haven't said what gay is gay. What is gay? Anthony, do you think the age of consent in your state is too high? Yeah. Yeah. I live in fucking South Carolina. But regardless of whatever state, yes. He would say yes in Afghanistan. Oh, fuck me. Oh my God. I really, really love this fucking lie detector. You know, you know, you know, famous incident at the comedy seller a while ago where you were asked to leave in your old security guard club, soda, Kenny was the person there. If club soda, Kenny was not there, could you beat up Bill Burr? I had a gun to be fair, so did Bill's wife. Oh my God. She did. She did. 50, 50, 50, 50. Really burn and bridges. 50, 50. Yeah. I think I could, no, I'm not in fighting form these days. So no? These days. I saw you when you were younger. You know, I was like, "I'm not in the middle of the night." I was like, "Yes, I'm not in the middle of the night." I was like, "I'm not in the middle." I was like, "I'm not in the middle." I was like, "I'm not in the middle." I was like, "I'm not in the middle." Our resultant. Ladies and gentlemen, the line detector resulter in. Let's go with Steve first. Steve might be. I think I'm fucked on that gay one. You were. We all are all on up. That's what she said. No. This is the kind of stuff you're going to get on Patreon. Jim Michael. Question number one. You asked Steve honestly, were you in the twin towers on September 11th? Steve said, "Yes, he was." The line detector test determined he's telling a lie. Stolen Valor, Steve. That's because I was shocked by the glass fall before it. It reminded me of BTSD. Okay, it does make sense. That does actually add up. It does. Glass breaking. Goddamn it. It does that. I understand. Fuck. Question number two. You asked Steve, is there an amount of money you would never speak to your family again for? Steve said, "Yes." And a lie detector test determined he was telling the truth. Thank you. Thank you. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, man. That's cool. Yeah, man. He recovered from that world trade center question. That's cool. We all agree, sir. Fucking crazy, Steve. You're family. He's being awesome. Your voice is. He left. You told me he left. You told me he left. You're a dude. I mean, is it worse than I don't say the truth? Nope. But at least they know now. Yeah, they know. Trust me. If you asked all of them, there's a price they'd walk away from me. It's much less than what I walk away from them. I agree. You shouldn't even feel. Thank you very much. Steve, hold your son. 17 and 14. Oh, they're almost killing me soon, dude. They're fine. They're trying to drown me in the beach every day. It's fucking weak, dude. They are totally fine. Yeah, I'm all right. Your kids are totally fine. Those ages fine. Yeah. Both boys. Both boys. They're not going to strangle me in my sleep. They are fine. Question three, you asked Steve. Do you feel there's a woman in the past you dated that you would consider the one who got away? Can I phone a friend before I get the actual answer to this one? No, go ahead. I'm sorry. Steve said no. The lie detector test determined. Yes. He was telling the truth. Yeah. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Thank you. Thank you. And this will be the first episode my wife ever watches of this show. Sit around. You make her watch the question. Can you just watch this for a second? Please. This is a lie detector test. You're paying attention to the wrong thing again. Again. I know. This is why I can be paid to leave you. This is the thing. Yeah. Maybe I love you. Question four, you asked Steve. Do you see the legion of skanks as an overall career down for Steve? Come on, Steve. I'm telling you. Come on. Steve said no. He's telling the truth. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve said no. The lie detector like no one had. Final question. We asked Steve, do you think you're funnier than Mike Feeney? Steve said no. Yes, the lie detector test determined he was telling the truth. Yeah! If I failed that one, I would have killed myself right here. Honest Steve, honesty guys, I love everyone, I love Mike Feeney too. Like Feeney's a man, very funny. They're always funny, just not as funny as I do, exactly. Yeah, and your current state of financial, your current financial state, you love your wife. That's right, dude. Steve Rennazese, one lie, four truths, very good, very, uh. [cheers and applause] 100%, technically, 100%. Dude, how psycho would it have been if I could have got the first one? Oh, that would have been the thing. I would have been like, "Hold on, I want a lot of money back." [laughter] "I want a lot of money back." This boy washes out the Legion of Stance career down, great question, like, "Wait a minute, it is a damn great." "I'm back, baby." All right, Anthony Kumio's results. Oh, here we go. Question one, "U.S. Anthony, if you could snap like Thanos and half of the racial minorities disappear instantly, would you do it?" Come on, no whammies. Anthony said yes, and the lie detector was undetermined. Undetermined. [cheers and applause] I think it was because, in his mind, he was like, "Half is not enough." Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really believe that. What's the point? He knew. At the rate they reproduced, it'll be fucking back up to a full strength in a couple months. 101,000, it's all the same shit. [laughter] Papa? Question two, he said, "You were asked, "Have you ever done anything gay for your own pleasure?" Oh, this is gonna get you down to fail, this one. Anthony said no, and the lie detector test determined, he was telling a lie. Wow. Oh, my God. Anthony, you. [cheers and applause] Very gay. That's what he did with those balls. We just met, you lied to me about being gay. [laughter] She looked like a girl. [laughter] Okay. That's fair and acceptable. Oh, wow. I knew I loved you for a reason. [laughter] Question three, U.S. He said yes, and the lie detector test determined, he's telling the truth. [laughter] Wow. [cheers and applause] This jesterly internal defiance. Peto, peto, peto, peto, peto, peto, peto. Listen, gay peto, gay peto, gay peto, gay peto. You're an adult at 13, hey! [laughter] Lakhiam. [laughter] Question four, U.S., if club soda Kenny was not there, could you beat up Bill Burr? He said no, and the lie detector test determined, he was telling the truth. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, go. Fucking mick. [laughter] Man, drunk it. No. And the final question, U.S. Anthony, do you think Opie is talented? Can I bet on this one? [laughter] He said no, and the lie detector test determined, he was telling the truth. Wow. He really meant this. [applause] All right. [laughter] Opie sucks. Opie sucks. Opie sucks. I rather sucked and be gay. [laughter] I guess he wins again. Yeah. Did you grab this bitch up? Yeah. I'm a fun show. Everybody makes you check out the brand new show, Anthony and Jim. [applause] It's finally here, everybody. Make sure you check them out. Thank you so much, Jim Northern Anthony, Kuhi for being with us tonight's show. Thanks guys. It was fun. Thank you guys so much for listening to Legion of Skank. Thank you so much for being here. We'll catch you guys later this week in the fight. Oh, no, no, no. Vacation week. But we'll be back here next week live. And nope. We have another show, though. Yeah. We have a few different things on Friday. But we're back. Where are you going to find that? Yeah, tune into a two-minute episode. [laughter] Next Tuesday we'll be on gas. We're not here at the standup Monday night. I'm going to vacation. I'm going to Spain right after this. I'm very excited. I'm very excited. It's fun. Yeah. Tuesday night, a very special episode. We'll be back. And that's it. Hell yeah. Until next time, everybody. Peace. Peace. What a fat gay guy. It's so fucking awesome. And comedian Steve Rann is easy. The Legion of Skanks podcast.