Annie Lederman

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Go to helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. 20% site-wide. That's helixsleep.com slash TISO. helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. You know what I mean. What's the site? Do it. Helix Sleep. Helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off the site. Autofocus. Engaged. Another day at the office, Alvin and McCone. Oh, my goodness. The audio-only people don't get to watch what Alvin's doing right now, but his tail is moving in a way that reminds me of the opening of Back to the Future. John Michael, I don't think we need anything for this cold open. In fact, I wouldn't even keep in the first 20 minutes of whatever Annie's running her mouth about either. Just kind of keep some of the funny stuff. But Annie sells two things, not necessarily in this order. Comedy and sex. What are the two things that, if I sold two things, comedy and something, what would the other one be? Magic mind? Yeah. She's here. Hey, comma, coming, period. It's going to be a good app. I was checking out the Warby Parker website, found some glasses, really wanted to show them to you. Disappointed they haven't arrived yet. Right now, you could buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off additional pairs at warbyparker.com slash T-Y-S-O. That's 20% off additional pairs when you purchase one pair at w-a-r-b-y parker.com slash T-Y-S-O. For people building a long-term portfolio, the question isn't what is Bitcoin? The question is, how much exposure do I really want? I mean, how much do I want to invest in this stuff? What makes. What makes sense for me? Download Cash App today. Visit our link in bio. Bitcoin services by Block Inc. See the Bitcoin disclosures at cash.app slash legal slash podcast. Ricky's on the loose. I am on tour. And the last tour date I have scheduled for the year is in Salt Lake City, November 13th and 14th. Salt Lake City. If you want to get tickets, go to rickglassman.com. I'm adding new dates starting next year. rickglassman.com slash tour. You could sign up for my mailing list. I don't spam you. I'm just going to let you know if I add a new date. And if I'm coming within 50 miles of your city, I'm trying to up that to 100%. But right now, I'm only going to notify you if I'm coming within 50 miles. So you can be notified if it's like, oh, I'm going to be in town that date. I want to check Rick working on his hour for his special. I want to go. rickglassman.com for tickets. rickglassman.com slash tour to sign up for my email list. Back to the episode. Annie, you're so funny. Would you like a Magic Mind? I took one. I take them before every podcast. They're already recording? I mean, they're amazing. I love them so much. Oh, no. I mean, I'm being serious. I'll have one, sure. Extra strength or regular? There's an extra strength? Yeah. Damn, I've been out of the game. Yeah, extra strength, baby. Going to need it for this one. Hi. Hi. I love you. Let's see where you'll be so I can focus this. Good. Yeah. That'll work just fine. Oh, it's dark. Don't give me the sleepy one accidentally. I've done it a couple of times. No, no, no. At night, when I meant to take the sleepy one, I took the time-release extra strength. I know. I used to get Xanax from my dad and Adderall from my mom, and sometimes they'd just get in the same bottle. So that was always scary. I don't know if it's women or if it's women in L.A. or if it's women in L.A. that I know, but they all take pills. From my parents. But it feels, I only like my parents' prescription. So I don't take them that often. Does that feel like a little baby earthquake? It happens all the time around here. A little rattle. And that refrigerator is, a little sensitive to it, the cups on it. I'm going to keep the dryer going. I think it's okay. Fuck it. Who cares? You love to do laundry. It's real. This is a real podcast. It very rarely happens. Life happens. Alvin pooped on the rugs in my bathroom. I gave him a new food the other day. That's why. And I went to the bathroom this morning to go to the bathroom, and I saw poop all over the place. Oh, my God. Were you sure it was him? Did you get scared another dog broke in? I was like, "Bleh, bleh." Ooh. And I got poopy bags. I picked it up, and I sprayed and I washed. And, you know, for dog owners, especially new ones, if you're not new ones, you're probably not going to change your behavior. He didn't want to do that. He had an upset stomach. I didn't wake up. He didn't do it in the bed. And I could tell he was a little scared because when I went downstairs to get the cleaning stuff, he stayed upstairs. He never does that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so then after I cleaned it up, I said, "It's okay, and I'm sorry if you had a little bit of a stomach ache." Did you do a little like, "Thank you for finding me"? I always do this to my dog. "Thanks for finding me in this universe." Oh. I feel like he came to me. You know? Yeah. You know how they're too perfect? Do you know how what? They're too perfect. Is your dog perfect? Oh, yeah. It's perfect. But you know what? My dog, he humps so hard sometimes that he poops, like poop comes out onto our bed. I feel like that probably happens to a lot of men with you. Oh, yeah. He'll jump hard. Yeah. And feel nothing. Would you like to plug any tour dates before we forget? Oh, sure. I got to pull them up. Do you mind? You can edit this part out or slow it down. We can't. Oh. We can't do slow motion because the card that I gave Macon, actually it's only 190 megabytes per second. Macon, that's your last name? My first name. That's your first name. What's your last name? Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Corkery. Where are they? Well, I know that you're going to be in-- No, I'm always on tour. You're going to be in-- In Los Angeles. Great. Well, I'm glad you plugged your dates. 28th, I got an Annie Lin and Friends at the Comedy Store. It's going to be fun. Joel McHale. Heard of him? Ooh. I've heard of him. Have you had him on? A couple of times. He's a good guy. Yeah. Chelsea Handler. Jeez. Have you had him on? It's a her. It's a her. Yeah. But I get it. Are you sure? Haven't seen her in a while. No, I love her. We love Chelsea. Well, I did TV shows with both of them. I used to do her panel, and then I did this thing called The Soup Investigates with him. I'd like to have David Spade on, too, but he's doing a movie. I wanted to have all of my-- I'm sorry. Did you-- I thought-- I said, will you name drop some stuff, or do you want to do your tour dates? But this is the-- this is the lineup. Wow. Is David Spade on it? He's on the next one. Right. Sorry. But I'm just saying, I did all those television shows, so. And now you're telling them because they don't know, right? Maybe they don't. They're all-- they've been over for a long time. I'm sure everybody watching this knows that you did something with The Soup once. It was called The Soup Investigates. What is the difference between The Soup and The Soup Investigates? It was a spinoff. Oh, that's right. And didn't that, like-- It was huge. Didn't you-- Yeah. I got really famous off of it. No, but what-- didn't you have a negative experience? Negative experience? No. Oh, that was the audience. There was a live audience. It's going to be a good episode. Joel McHale's very good with live audience. Just added out all of her stuff. What's that? That would be-- you just see me reacting to you. Okay. So I'm going to be in a comics roadhouse. Have you done it? Casino? Very fun. I'm sorry. It's a sticky glass. I'm sorry. That's messed up. That's real cuckery over there. It's okay. Just pick it up. Could you get it? Corkery. I'm going to be there October 23rd and 24th. It's going to be so fun. I'm going to be-- Hey, hey, hey. Guys. Wake up. Sorry. And he's plugging your dates. It's always boring to plug dates. No. Watch this. What up, everybody? You know me. What is this? MTV? And I just got back from Tacoma, Washington. I'll be in Salt Lake City November 13th and 14th. And if you want to find out when I'm coming to your city, sign up for my email list, because I'm adding new dates this year and next year, and I'm excited to show you my hour. That's rickglassman.com. Figure it out, Andy. That many dots? Yeah. It's an ellipsis. Heard of it? There's no way there's an ellipsis in here. No way. My tour is called The Ellipses. Okay. Well, I just go to my website. I'm going to be in Connecticut twice. I'm going to be at Comics Roadhouse. I'm going to be at the Funny Bone. I'm going to be in Albany, New York. I didn't even know about these things. I'm going to be in a lot of places. I'm always on tour. How about this? We'll just put them up right here. Yes. Why did you do this in the beginning to me? Because people do it at the end, and you think people are going to finish this episode? I'm done. No, you do it at the end. You put it in the beginning. Clip it out. You think people are going to finish this episode? I'm done. I haven't seen you in so long, and then I saw you so many times this week. Yeah. This was the first week I called in my avails to the Comedy Store. Oh, my goodness. It's been fun. Yeah. They put us on right near each other, too. Yeah. You and me and Faheem, I've noticed, we're always in the same area. Mm-hmm. I did four shows. this week and it was really like it was my first time since getting past where i'm like oh this is like this is the vibes this is the comedy oh your blanket fell behind your head well i'm making a blanket statement i mean i've been going to this place for a long time uh and it's fun you you had a lot of can i say what hot babes with you last night is that okay to say out loud sure but none of them were i don't know i didn't think they were like sexual romantic i'm just saying that you did have a a lot of my audience i say this all the time it's socially awkward men and beautiful women it really is what it is it was like uh people were like whoa glassman brought like a lot of coincidentally there were different groups of friends that were in town and or wanted to come you know like hey can i get two tickets and then other people and then it's like to the point where i'm like iron maiden or to your show i don't understand i think the audience might get it to iron maiden two tickets to iron maiden i've got two tickets to iron do you get it i think the audience would have gotten you know things but you know how like do you ever see the thing online where people go they'll go like it's been and then someone will just go three weeks like everyone kind of just knows the song i don't know the iron maiden song you know it's a what is it weedus i know i'm trying to think i ain't got to take it he does like a girl voice i'm gonna i'm gonna because it's gonna be making a buzzing noise i'm gonna turn it off now no i mean this teenage dirt bag thank you you kind of were considering were you considering whether you were gonna leave me hanging or no i was trying to rip through the song yeah it's like yeah to get all the i know but it gets in there that's why i'm surprised he doesn't know it it's one of those songs that sticks can you say your full name again my name is macohan corkery macohan corkery it's cool it's like a yeah what's like a nickname for you m dog people in high school call me cork cork okay i have family members that call me mac mac okay i'm trying to get the engagement back up on this episode listen you call me over here on a sunday at 11 30 in the morning i'm doing my absolute best it's okay uh i uh i can only be myself i i'm just really distracted by that sound now and i thought it was a dryer and it's a washing machine and i don't want to open the washing machine midway you can't just pause it i think that's what opening it is i don't know what i mean there's different machines i'm gonna open it you guys could do your i know it's been so fun more name stuff you can do some more name stuff i love it do you think rick's family's last name was glassman when they came over to this country what was your family's last name when they came to this country wasn't glass man right was it hi you know i don't know you definitely would know this you don't know this no unless i i i i uh i'm going on i can't remember her name i know allegra cole what is eva mendez's name and hitch i don't remember and i'm dating eva mendez why would i be going to what's the place called the island oh yes great movie holds up good movie yeah are you friends with will smith no i know him yeah uh we recorded something together before i started this podcast and we recorded like a podcast and we didn't get to finish it it was at an agency that i was at before long story short i met him years ago what kind of at a bowling alley in kent's ohio okay i think he was there something with lebron to be honest with you but i almost bowled a perfect game and he was there and saw it yes and i didn't talk to him because i saw him you were winning too hard i'm just like trying to keep everything going years later so an agency and i told him and he remembered and blah blah blah he remembered that was how well you did yes i have the first 10 uh 10 strikes in a row i was two away from a perfect game so you couldn't get distracted by it not even will smith could take you out uh well something did but i bowled a 288 okay and uh we recorded we were gonna then do finish it later and then it never happened and then blah blah blah so i'm like i'm holding on to this and i want to do a part two and have it as one episode why don't we do it at the end of the why don't we just end the podcast now and you i'm not gonna there's a lot of lore behind people have really been really wanting to see this will smith thing and i've been holding on to it since 2019 i'm not gonna with all due respect yeah you can just end i mean blow it on on an annie letterman episode you know i get it i get it are you going to do it you friends with will smith i'm not what about david spade dear friend i like david spade he's pretty cool huh i asked him to come on this podcast and he said that he was scared too why because you're gonna tease him he wasn't sure yeah it's like you don't know what's gonna happen you gotta be on edge sometimes not me though no we're chill yeah i feel real chill right now sweats i was wearing this last night when i saw you were you yeah it's a new shirt and i just feel like i only wore it for a show so i can wear it the next day i did four spots the story this week i wear the same pants to every show i wear the same over shirt to the first three and i was about to wear it to the fourth one i'm like just don't do it i true because when i'm on the road i like to i don't want to i like i like having a uniform i bring enough for every show but sure enough after i've worn one you're not schvitzing or anything on stage so i i usually wear a shirt and then a shirt over it so yeah okay i would always change the undershirt but the undershirt is like a jacket do you think this was like problems burt had and then he was like i'm just gonna stop wearing a shirt no i think that was something i think that's something different i think that's more of like um he takes a shirt off the way seinfeld wears a suit i think it's brand awareness and comfort i didn't know that seinfeld always wore a shirt suit really what if i thought seinfeld was shirtless this whole time they just trade places um more to wear in randolph no i like to wear a different outfit each time which is stressful if i had a uniform you're kind of like is it like a steve jobs thing so you can focus on the art the craft is it really though uh yeah because i already have it hanging in my closet sometimes i'm like i don't want to this is good i was comfortable in this i'm so you're bringing a just a like a weekender bag no i have no i i bring i have to check a bag just for all my bathroom stuff okay i bring a lot of stuff what do you bring like a squatty potty bidet uh no face stuff and hair stuff it's a lot you said you got a laser the other day were you joking zerf okay well you know that does sound like a fake laser i believe you but xerf yeah i tried i tried on my face and what did happen i don't know i don't know if anything i don't know if anything happened how long ago did you get it the uh earlier this year okay because don't sometimes they take a while it yeah i don't i don't know i've never done anything like that really you're advanced what have you done why do you look so good why do you look so good annie i had the camera be on me when she was picking her nose so nobody i wasn't i was going laughing i was going yeah show that who picks their nose you got to go in with a finger if you're gonna pick your nose absolutely this is character assassin i'm gonna tell spade to never come on the show that's fine that's fine i don't i don't want people to come on the show as a favor to me i want them to come on a show because there's a mutual exchange of value you know i want you on the show to help the get all of the um all of the what what is your audience just women that take pills yes yes yes i want to have women that take pills uh and then this helps you because now you're getting a lot of the guys that don't realize you're toxic yes male audience you probably have a significant male audience for a female comedian right you know what my first my first kind of credit that i started getting audience members from was um no opie and anthony so i had those boys young for that no you're my age i'm 30 oh that's right you're 30 i forgot what was opie and anthony all about they were radio guys that like really pushed the limits right they were shock jocks is that still a thing no like opie and anthony yeah no they broke up a long time ago no a shock jock still a thing i don't think so do you ever do morning radio when you go on the road i just did morning radio in philly philly oh it's great you did yeah wmmr love those guys isn't it so good so fun yeah but no i don't normally do it like shock jockey they get it's not really like messing around with people i don't know what they do i don't know if they do prank calls are there any podcasts that like shock jocks um i what do you think not really maybe i should get into shock jockeying what do you ever do how would i do it do you ever do like prank calls um like when i was a kid yeah you grew out of prank calls they're still fun i think so let's do a prank call who should we call david spade he wouldn't have your number right i don't think so we could prank him you could start 67 you're if you're gonna prank call somebody what are we gonna do we're not prank who we're gonna fucking prank call who we're prank calling sometimes i what i used to do is i used to prank people and say is your refrigerator running and if they said no i would be like oh all right never mind thank you and if they say if they would say yes i would say well you better go catch it and then they'd be like if I ever find out who did this, I'm going to. And then I hang up right away and we would laugh. Did you call back? Oh, I would call back and then I would call back in a different voice and I would say, is last name Butts, first name Seymour there? And they would go, let me find out. And they would go, is Seymour Butts there? And then we would laugh and I would hang up. Yeah, it was like The Simpsons. They took that from me. Sucks. Were you a Simpsons guy? I'm funny, aren't I? I don't think there's any funny white people that didn't grow up watching The Simpsons. Is that fair? Yeah. I guess, what would black people watch? Bebe's Kids? Oh, Bebe's Kids was good. Wait, Bebe's, thank you for reminding me of Bebe's Kids Ruled. Yeah. Bebe's Kids was good. Martin was good. Yeah. I met him for the first time a couple nights ago. He was there with Arsenio Hall and Howie Mandel and I don't know Martin, so I'm not going to go up. Right. But that was one of the people where I felt like, oh, I'm a freshman and they're the seniors, you know, citizens. I know. They're a little older than four years, yeah. And I was just standing, I wasn't there and Howie said, hey, come on over and meet. And I go, I don't know. Like, I was legitimately nervous. Yeah, I think I was, I was nervous because like, it didn't like, it's not organic. It'd be like, if you're going to flirt with somebody and like, it's, you know, but if somebody be like, hey, I want you to, I want to introduce you to Rick and I'd be like, hey, I have a, I have a crush on you. You know, like, what am I supposed to do with that? And I said, and then Howie introduced me. Oh, he's got a really great podcast. And then I felt uncomfortable. Like, did Martin think that I asked Howie to ask him to get on my podcast? Yeah, like he said it. So I'm like, Martin, it's, you don't have to worry about the podcast, you know? And he goes, oh, okay, blah, blah. I'm like, listen. Meanwhile, I was like, I wasn't worried about your podcast. I'm not even. Probably not. It's been famous a long time. I understand. I also didn't remember until after, and I would have said it to him a few days before. This was, I don't know, Tuesday. The weekend I was in Houston. On stage, I was talking about Blue Streak oodles and noodles. Like, I was just referencing him. And then I met him. And then I said, it was nice to meet you. And then I backed out like this. Did you say oodles and noodles? No, I forgot to tell him that. But I just, I just got out like, and I didn't want to linger. And I paced back. This was in the parking lot right by the door, the door where the, you know, the red rope is. And I was, I walked into the rope, like legitimately, like a nervous guy. And I went, oh, oh. And then Arsenio's like, well, no, don't make it, you know, da, da, da. And I moved the rope. And, and then I said, no, no, I'm just kidding. And he laughed and I laughed. And I was like, I don't think I've been nervous. Like that. But you landed it. Sure. Yeah. You got a chuckle out of him. Got a chuckle out of him. But I'm, I realized what made me nervous was me projecting what somebody else would be projecting as my intention. Okay. Yeah. You were, you were like too many steps ahead. I would say that I was, I was just making, I would just say I wasn't present. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Yeah. And they're like, oh, right. That's a feeling that we have as humans. I don't find myself in situations too often that other people brought me into. Right. Well, I feel very, I get really starstruck around random people and then I know things about them. And then sometimes you'll, you'll remind someone of something and then I'm like, am I making them feel old? Oh, by saying my grandmother used to love your stuff. Oh, my grandmother. I used to sit with my grandmother and she would, like Pat Sajak, be like, oh my God. Yeah. My grandma loved you, Pat Sajak. I do actually like Pat Sajak. Yeah. Very funny. Miss him. Ryan Seacrest took his job. Ryan Seacrest is great at his job. He's got, which one? He's got a million jobs. That's what I'm saying. He's a great host. Have you had him on? No. That would be a fun one. No. He said he's not going to do it until Spade comes on. He was, well, maybe you should have him on together. I would love to. I would love to have a, a Ryan David episode. Ryan. Okay. Yeah. You think Ryan's billed before Spade? Yeah. Okay. Okay. What has Spade done since Tommy Boy? I mean, he was great in it. Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2, Grown Ups 3. Yeah, but he didn't, he didn't. Grown Ups 4. Those aren't his movies though. Benchwarmers. Is that the Theo movie? What's the Theo movie? Oh, what was that? I haven't seen that. What is it called? Bus Boys. Bus Boys. I didn't see that yet. I even forgot it was out until just now. Well, let's watch it. Do you want to do like a mystery science theater of it? Yeah. I'm very, I feel too present. Great. I'm very tapped in. That's the magic mind, baby. I've been feeling very self-confident. You could just say confident, right? I'm not critiquing you. I'm really asking. No, I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't know. What is the difference? Can you look it up? Well, no. He was actually going to do it. Yeah, it's going to be, it's a waste of time. Just listen to one person. It's a waste of time. It's just, you're confident. Well, cool. Martin was a, Martin was a big one for me when I was a kid, but I wouldn't say I was starstruck. I was, I was uncomfortable that I was. But isn't that the feeling of starstruck is the uncomfortable part? Maybe. Cause you're, you're used to seeing them on it. You're almost like it's the. Maybe. Yeah. Seeing them in person. But if Howie didn't bring me over there, I'm glad he did. I thought that was cool. I met him. But like if, if like if we were just in the same green room, I wouldn't feel that way. Cause I wouldn't feel obligated to say something. And you and Howie together are, is it like. We touch. Oh, you touch. Yeah. We could touch. Okay. Cause you both have. Issues. I think Howie is one of the nicest guys in showbiz. I think he's so funny. I'm a big fan of his. Yeah. I, but I've been seeing some clips of him where he's doing some stuff and I don't know what is the context, but I'm almost positive. Not excusing anything. I don't even know what it is, but like his intention is coming from a, a pure trying to be funny space. He's like cranky. Yeah. He's like, he's also Canadian. I feel like sometimes Canadians are sillier than people think they're being. They don't understand. Canadians are very silly. People mistake a Canadian. No, but I mean, he's, he's, you know who I saw the other day, John Lovitz. Oh, I don't know him, but he's so funny. He's so funny. The critic was one of my favorite shows. No, it's the number one. And that's what I'm always, I always, I go, well, what was your favorite thing you did? And I just want him to say the critic, but he says they might be bringing it back. I've heard that. Which would be amazing. A lot of bring backs. Hey man. Anything new coming out? You got anything new coming out? Yeah. I'm a guest on the HBO series rooster. Oh, you are. Yeah. And a guest is what? Is it recurring or just once? I've done three episodes within the first five episodes so far. They're still writing. I don't know how many I'll be in. Okay. Do you feel pressure to do, well, to get back on or you're just like, whatever happens, happens. You know what? I, maybe I'm, maybe you would call this self-confidence, but I feel like I just, I know how to do this job and I'm good at it. And I don't even think about like, I better do this or I better not do this. I just, I don't think about it any different than this. Like I want to be good in it and I'll try to do that. Now, were you a child actor? You know, it's funny that you say that because I, I think so. Cause I feel like you give a child, I think so, but I wasn't in anything. Does that make sense? Were you a play kid? No. I mean, I just, I would, I would perform. Family was sitting there laughing when you were a kid. Mom. Ricky. Mom was laughing. Your dad wasn't? I think your dad's very into you. Yeah. Yeah. But, but when I was a kid, but he wasn't a laugher. When I was a kid, I was taking pottery classes and playing magic, the gathering. My brother was a baseball player. And I think my dad always thought that I, I was a fucking loser. Yeah. But was he, but is your brother older than you? Yeah. Cause that would be worse if he was younger and just came in and just took it. Dominated. I'm going to call it. But you have a basketball. Yeah. I started playing sports when I got older, when I wanted my dad's approval. But you didn't want it when you were little. I didn't know how to get it. I was too busy playing magic and making pottery. I'm going to call my dad and ask him. Do you have any of your pottery around here? I made everything in here. Hello. Hello. I have you on the podcast and I'm, it's talking with Annie Letterman. And, and do you remember how, when I was a kid, I would play magic and take pottery class and you thought I was a fucking loser and Matt would play sports and stuff. You exaggerate some, but I never thought you were a loser. Oh, I was 100% joking. Wait, what did you? I know. He's like, I didn't think you were a loser. I thought you weren't that cool. I exaggerated some. Tell me where the truth is, dad. I didn't think you were a loser. I just thought you didn't like sports. What's the difference? I don't know. A big difference. But now that I like sports, do you think I'm a winner? Yeah. Yes, of course. Even though you're calling me in the middle of the Browns game. Oh, I'm such a loser. All right. Sunday, football Sunday. We'll go Browns, right dad? Yeah. Well, you know, the Indians made into the, you're not allowed to say that anymore. Wow. The Browns. Oh, right. Okay. Cut it. Yeah. Say the African-Americans and, oh, are you talking about the Browns or the Guardians? Guardians. Guardians. Yes. Yes. So the Guardians did, they won the big match. So, now they're going to go to the semifinals of the World Series. Yes. I know that because I want, I want your approval. Annie, you have my approval. Thank you. Annie's more of a man than me, right dad? I am pretty masculine. She speaks very highly of you. I do. My dad just got pulled over the other day. Okay. Dad, by a fan? No, by a police officer because he wasn't wearing, well, dad, do you tell her? Well, he stopped me and he asked me my license. It says, it says here, you need, corrective lenses. And I said, well, I have contacts. And she said, I don't care who you know. How do you work? Anywhere are you going to be? Where are you performing next, Dad? Come to Comics with me. Roadhouse. I'm going to be at the casino next weekend. All right. In the lounge. Oh, wait. Are you performing or just gambling? No, I'll be performing in the lounge. Oh, that's amazing. Does your dad gamble for real? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I love gambling. What kind of gambling? I'm going to go see him. We're going to the casino tomorrow. Oh, that's so fun. My dad's dead. I wish I could gamble with him. Yeah. Sorry about that. Did you call your dad on purpose? Yeah, but not because of your loss of your dad. I wish I could call my dad. He was very proud of me. All right, Dad. I love you. Except my gambling. I'm going to try and watch some of the football game and talk to you about it so you think I'm straight. You guys have a good time. I'll see you tomorrow. Nice talking to you. All right. Love you. Bye. All right. Take care, Andy. Bye. My brother, my twin brother works in sports. He works in. You have a twin brother? I have a twin brother. Does he look exactly like you? No, he looks like the cartoon Doug. Does he wear a midriff? No, no, no. But I will forever. I know. I was the only molested twin, so. I'm the only one that dresses that way. Oh, no. Your dad died and you were molested. That's why you take pills. No, but I don't take pills. If you're thinking about long-term investment, where does Bitcoin fit in? I've been investing in Bitcoin for a little bit now. A little bit now, I would say, is around 2017. I've watched you go like this. And I've watched you go like this. That's about what I've seen in the past nine years. And I strongly suggest taking profits along the way. But I am doing this long-term. I'm not here saying throw all your money into Bitcoin. But I am saying it's something that I invest in. More investors are thinking about where Bitcoin fits in a broader portfolio. Not as a short-term trade, but as long-term exposure to an asset that behaves differently from traditional markets. 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Do you think that's what it is? Since my dad died? No. Well, incidentally, but. Oh, the pills? Yeah. Well, I am completely sober for the first time in a while. Yeah. It's really working out. You know, I was requesting. I requested to smoke weed for a bit on Ben Gleib's show tomorrow, and I don't think I'm going to do it. You can't. You wasting your sobriety on Ben Gleib's show would be like me wasting the Will Smith episode on yours. But, you know, I'm from Philadelphia, so maybe that would make sense. Were you born and raised there? Yeah. Where did you spend most of your time? Chilling out Maxon on the playground. Did I skip a line? A line of Maxon, I'll cool. A line of what? Chilling out. Exactly. Cocaine. I still do that. It's not a pill. All right. Well, thanks for coming over. No, but so I'm saying I watched. So my twin brother is a sports producer. So he works for, he's like the Celtics guy for NBC Sports in Boston. He does the pre and post show, not the P show. And he, so he, you know, always does the pre and post show. He's into sports. I always wanted his approval. And so there was a time in college where I would watch SportsCenter, memorize all the sports stuff. Why did you take the thing, the headphones off? But what was it? Was it you wanted to like? I was aware of your voice in a way that I was like hearing it in my headphones. And when I was like. And you weren't present. You were listening to me as the voice in the headphone. Yeah. Yes, I do. I take them off. I put them on sometimes. Yeah. I'm just interested. There was a shift. But I, and I would memorize stuff and it was working. You're shrill. No, no, I'm kidding. I like that show. I actually just watched it for the first time. I didn't even know about it. But why don't we try to stay on what we're talking about for a minute. Aidy Bryant. I think you're friends with her. Nice. Why am I friends with her? I don't know. I guess she seems like somebody to be friends with. She's popular. No, you know a lot of people. It's cool. We all know a lot of people. It's a matter of do we have relationships with those people? Do we get deep? Yeah. And that's what I'm trying to have. I'm trying to develop this relationship with you. I want to hear about your twin brother and try to stay awake. So anyway, you were watching the blah, blah, blah Celtics. I tried and it worked, but I couldn't, I couldn't uphold it. I just, my heart is not in sports. Yeah. So there you go. But I understand that desire to be. You seem like you play softball. What part of me? My shoulders and my mustache. Do you have a mustache? Not right now. Well, nobody has a mustache right now. I work on it. How so? Laser? I know there's no lasers. Really? You look like that with no lasers. You know, when you walked in, I thought to myself, holy shit, this woman looks like she goes through a lot of lasers. Well, you get lasers. I mean, isn't it funny that you're the boy that got lasers and I don't, I'm the girl that didn't? The boy that got lasers. Sounds like, it sounds like a book from a series that people love the author. Oh, I love Donald Bush and stuff. Have you seen the boy who got lasers and the girl who didn't? Yeah. It's like the girl with the dragon tattoo. Have you had any work? Like any, like not necessarily like. What would you think? No. I'm actually shocked. That we're even talking about it? Oh, no. Yeah. It looks like, it looks like you've refused it to everybody's chagrin. Ever. Doctors have been trying to give it to me for free. Annie, I'm begging you. You don't even have to post about it. You're the type of woman that they take the headphones off when we're podcasting with her. Let me just do something for you. You put them over your eyes. Have you, like, do you do anything? Like, do you, have you done like any lasers or any, what's it called? Botox or any filler? Have you had a tit reduction? No. Really? That's just all natural. You didn't ask if I got a boob job. That's interesting. Oh, you're asking if I got top surgery. Did I get top surgery? Yeah. I'm assuming that you had to have those. Yeah, it was tough. It was tough to, it was tough to run. I was a runner and it was hurting my back. Yeah. Yeah. To get a reduction. Yeah. I went from an ACOP to a, yep. I legitimately had a penis reduction in my early twenties. You do have a, an energy. Thank you. I had to have it brought down three inches. Okay. And last minute I was, I was scared and I said, can we just do one inch? And if I want to keep doing it, we could. And it's a lot of people still think it's too big, but I'm not going to go through that again. Now, when you say penis. When you say people, is it like you're showing it to a lot of people or is it like people one-on-one? Yeah. One-on-one. It wasn't like the group last night. No, none of those people are romantic people. I didn't say romantic. Well, I'm not going to show somebody my penis if I'm not being romantic with them. Okay. Before I show my penis, I always pull, put my jacket in a puddle. And then place it on top. Place it. See, this is why I think you're, you should have work done. I will. Imagine how successful you would be if you were prettier. What would you? a red laser and you could show me. Do you remember that show with Lorenzo Lamas how people want to get done with like a red laser. He'd be like, Lorenzo Lamas. I swear on my life. Lorenzo Lamas is that. The renegade. I can't picture who that is. Oh, he'll come back to you. I'm just too young. I know. Lorenzo Lamas. No, I don't know this guy. Did you like hanging out with the reality TV people, my friends the other day? Dee, who we met. Isn't Dee incredible? So I got into Survivor season 50, which was last this year. Yeah. It was last season. There's one current and it was the one that just finished. Yeah, they do two a year, right? Jeff Probst is out in Fiji. He's just in Fiji all the time. Dude, I would love to have him on as a guest. He's the best. I met him once in a coffee bean. Did you. I freaked out. He's like my guy. He's your Martin. He's my Martin. But Martin's also my Martin, but I've already been through it with him. Man, the old Def Jam with Martin. It's like that is. People say now is the golden era of standup. I think just because. I've heard a lot of people say, I think the amount of people that are going to shows is probably more than ever. I mean, how many people. Madison Square Garden was for like Andrew Dice Clay. I know, that's unbelievable. Now it's Tony Hinchcliffe, you know, Wednesday through Sunday. People are buying tickets. But like that, like watching that. I just, the show was like, we only, our parents only let us watch The Simpsons and Martin. We were only allowed to watch an hour of TV a week. And it was The Simpsons and Martin. I think on the weekends we were allowed to watch. Just when he would do, what was the character's name when he would put the shoes on his knees and he had the snot coming out? I don't know. And it was Shaniqua? You're thinking of Shanaynay, but that's not the same person. Shanaynay, oh, I said the wrong one. Shanaynay is the other one. No, he would play the different characters. Shanaynay and then he was the kid. What was the kid, Degrasco or something? I don't, I wouldn't remember the name. But that was a big thing in the 90s where you would put shoes on your knees. And it was funny. And it was funny. Hey. It was funny to me. Yeah, absolutely. But I'm a regular sized person. You know, if you were to watch Martin today on BET, which I often try to when I'm on the road, the amount of commercials brings that show down to about 16 minute episodes. Wow, well, they were good. Jam Packet. Yeah. A lot of people complain. Always a big laugh. A lot of people complain about my podcast. Excuse me, our podcast. That there's too many commercials. And I'm like, you know, YouTube this year or last year started doing commercials a little bit different. Oh, they just put them up? They just put them like in, right? And I used to be very specific about where I would put them. And then it's just, it was too much work because like, I don't know if people are even noticing that I'm putting them in funny moments or like at good mark breaks. So then I stopped doing it and let them choose. And then YouTube then started putting a ton in. And I noticed that the ad revenue was legitimately like, holy shit, I'm making like legitimate money from, and I'm not changing this. It's less work for me. And people are like, it's too much, blah, blah, blah. Like spend $5 or $15. I know, it's like coffee. It's like a coffee from Starbucks. Coffee from Starbucks. But I'm not, I hear you, but I'm not not doing it. Yeah. It helps, really helps cover my, and listen, I know this is inside, as my dad would like to say, baseball. But this stuff's expensive to run. You got McCone running the cameras. You got clip stuff. I hired a booker recently. I got John Michael editing. I got Tom animating. We got Christian doing the sound mix. Yeah, buying props and stuff. This is an expensive show to produce. I know, I'm a prop person too. It does get expensive. Um, Annie Wood. I don't think I've ever been on Annie Wood. Well, I'd love to have you on. I, uh, I'm going to bring it back. It's been on hiatus since the death of my dear father. It's dead. It's hard to not talk about. You know, you're close with your dad. Are you closer with your mom? I'm very close with both of them. Both of them. And they're close with each other. Yeah. They're still together. Your parents were together. Yeah. I know because your mom was the one who had to throw out all his pills. I know. Did you meet my mom? She's been around a lot. Probably. She's been coming around. She's kind of become a momager. She comes on the road with me. Probably. But if so, it's been a while. I'm not sure. I feel like I maybe have at the comedy store. Yeah. She comes and hangs out. How long ago did your dad pass? Earlier this year, right? February 25th. But he went brain dead on the 23rd. Could you, do you want, could we talk like. If you want. Well, what does that mean? What, what happened? He had a stroke. He had the flu and he went into the hospital and he had a stroke and he went brain dead. But I was on a comedy cruise. So I had to wait a day to get off and get off in Mexico and fly back. The timing was tough. The stroke happened because of the flu? No, I think he would have had his, I don't know. I mean, I think it worked out very well because he wasn't, my mom didn't find it. It was, you know, he's in the hospital and, and he was very peaceful laying there. And then we got to watch him. You shared some of the texts that he had with you. Good. Yeah. Funny. Supportive and funny. He was very funny. That's the part that sucks. Less laughs. It's hard. It's very, it's changes my life, your life when someone like that dies. So it's different. It's hard to be as, I don't know. It's not like I'm not focused. I just don't, I don't care about the things I used to care about. It's not the same. Because things don't matter as much. Like what? I don't know. I was like, I was more stressed before my dad died. And maybe it was because I was like trying, I was, I felt more pressure. I wanted to like impress my dad who was fully impressed by me. There was nothing really to do. And then when he died, there was like a peace. And, but it's also, I don't know. I kind of was just, just trying to make him laugh. So not to be too serious here, but it sucks. It's like hard to be on the road. And I'm like also carrying like a lot of heaviness. You're trying to be funny. Yeah. Like right now. Are you trying to be funny right now? No, you want to be entertaining on things, but. Well, it's never stopped you before. Thanks. What a luxury to be friends with your parents. I know, isn't it? I didn't realize how much of a luxury it was until I became closer than enough people who aren't. Yeah. Some people don't, they just don't, they don't have that connection. And that sucks. And maybe, I mean, I guess everything's works out the way it's supposed to. It doesn't work out for people, but when you, I do feel very lucky, but it's the other side of it is like very sad. Yeah. I don't imagine you would want to have changed that. No. My mom was like, I feel like your dad did you a disservice by talking to you and being so close with you. And I was like, no. What's the logic there? I don't know. I think she was just trying to say something and try to make me feel better. So I don't know what she just thought like, well, because it was like, it's such a, it was such a. It's such a shakeup because I would talk to him all the time and he never didn't pick up. He's like, you're, I mean, your dad, does he pick up every time every single time. So FaceTime me, FaceTime me when he's taking a shit, talk all the time. And if he missed a call, it would always be like a text and hit me back. So it's just, but the disservice is what, as if you were relying on him. I think that's what she thought. It was like too close or something, but I don't think so. It was very fun. He was funny as fuck. Just always good jokes. If I was like upset of something, he would always, he could just get me out of it. So, but now I have to just do it myself, which is good. Was he the funny one or is your mom funny too? My mom is funny, but it's more like she doesn't, she just won't go like super mean with no punchline. And you're like, she doesn't quite get it. She doesn't know the landing of the, or the callbacks and stuff like that. You ride that line often. I don't know. I think, I think I have a, I have a aim. Sure. Yeah. Sure. No, my mom will just go like, we'll just, she'll just go like, Annie sucks at all this stuff. Oh, geez. And everyone's like, what? And she'll be like, thanks for being funny. No, it's a joke. And you're like, what? Everyone's like, oh, weird. But my dad, like my dad would have, like, I think I might've told you this joke before. Cause I was trying to explain my sense of humor, but I gained weight once on a, it was like a family vacation. I gained weight. My brother used to always like make fun of me for gaining weight. And it was always before. I was doing a TV show or something, but he had, no one was saying anything. I was just waiting for someone was going to say it. I was like, fuck, someone's going to say it. And so we were on a lake and I was diving off of a dock and my dad goes, oh, look, it's Annie weight gainess instead of Greg, like Lou gainess. Like you can't, I mean, it doesn't hurt your feelings when it's a joke at all. It was very funny. So he would always just be like that. You feel that's the, is that the rule? It doesn't hurt your feelings if it's funny. Yeah. My rule. I don't know if there's a, if I'm laughing. I'm not, my feelings aren't hurt. Do you think that everybody else feels that way or there's some people that don't feel that way? I mean, obviously there's people that don't feel that way. Has that been an obstacle you think in your life? With us? Yeah. No, no, not that. I mean, not that much. I don't really feel like, I don't really feel, um, not really. I don't think it's, I mean, I, you know, I tend to really only be around people that have, that are laughing and senses of humor. Well, what about when you're on stage? And no one's laughing? No, I'm just poking fun. They're all laughing. Yeah. You got to laugh. Man, that's brutal, man. Like, like the way you framed it of like, uh, you would talk to him all the time. And then you said, now you, now you have to do it for yourself. Is there something like pretty about that? That like, have you learned how to, kind of regulate yourself different? Sorry, I'm just going to have to get emotional. I'm like so sad. It sucks so bad. It's just like, you know, it's good. I am learning to do things on my own, but it's like I would so much prefer my dad to be here. It would just be so much better, but I think I'm at the part of my grief where it's like, you know, I have to just like not long for a thing that can't exist. Like it just can't. And he died so well. I'm like very proud of him. He was really worried. He didn't want to get dementia. He didn't want to be like mean to people. And he got to die in a way where he just, he went out really with like a lot of dignity. He was very peaceful. I felt very complete with him in the sense of like not having anything unsaid because we talked so much. And he was always very like expressive of how proud he was of everyone. Like every one of his friends like had messages from him just saying how much he loved them all the time. And he just always wanted to make people laugh and feel good. And he just got out. He never lost his mind. He never like, he fell once, like right before he went to the hospital. Like he never was a burden for anyone. And so I feel really grateful and happy for him. And I feel, so I was 42 when he died and he was 84. So just everything felt really perfect. You mean because it's half? Yeah. I just thought it was like, there's just like things like that. And there's just, every time I like want a picture of him doing something, I find it, like I just have so many videos of him being funny and there's just, I'm not, I wasn't robbed of him in any way. Like a lot of people will tell me stories of their parents dying when they were young or like dying in a car accident or having dementia and being drawn out. Like I just wasn't robbed of anything. So I feel very lucky like that. But like our laughs like calibrated, like we just made like a sound together. We just had the same, you know, there's like no one else like that. So it's like fucking sucks, you know? And then it's like, this is my job and I want to entertain people, but I'm also going through this very like real human thing. So it's just kind of navigating this place that I'm in. So it's definitely different, but I do feel like I'm getting to a place where I'm not like, I feel, you know, I do feel his, his presence right when he died. Like I had a lot of crazy signs where it felt like direct messages from him. And I went and I did ayahuasca and he was like telling me things to say to my mom. The signs were before you did ayahuasca though? Could you give examples? Okay. So I had a really cool one recently too, where he left me something behind that was really cool. So, okay. So he used to make these, he would leave love letters for my parents. My mom and he would draw little pictures for her and he couldn't draw. So he would draw like little stick figures and he would write jokes on them, inside jokes. And it would be like, you know, all the days of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And my mom blew them up and she has them in the kitchen and she turns them every week. So she still sees them every week, but he would draw these pictures and they're on their first date. They were on a blind date. And my mom brought the first thing she said to him, she had an orange and she asked him if he wanted an orange. And so he would draw on all of these pictures. He would draw, he would draw oranges and he would say like, I'm always with you. And so that was kind of his thing. And he was 10 years older than her. So he kind of knew he was going to die first. So he was just leaving like little things for her. And then I would just see fucking oranges everywhere after he died. Like it would just, like not obviously orange trees and stuff, but there would just be oranges like on a wall. Like I'd be like, dad, I really need to see you and there'd be an orange. So that happened a lot. And then I went for, it was right when I came back to LA after he died. And I went on a walk, I was walking my dog and the wind just picked up crazy. I was going to pick up my dog's shit and the bag blew away. And it made me remember my dad would do the phantom scoop. He didn't want to pick the shit up. So he would bend down and pretend he was picking the shit up, which is, but it's so funny. It's like, you're already like bending down such a dick move. Like just pick the shit up. You're doing the hard part. Yeah. You already did the squat. But so that made me laugh. So I was like, okay, so I'm like remembering him. And then I was like, all right, dad, I feel you here. And then the wind picked up crazy. There was just like things blowing everywhere. It just was so obviously him. And then I saw something glistening in the grass. So I went over and grabbed that and it was just a piece of trash. And my dad. That reminds you of what? My, no, no, my dad was a litter. He would litter. Oh, it's just, you know, it's like you're telling the story and as it goes on, and then. He didn't pick up shit. No, no, no. So we saw a prostitute. She looked like, you know, a sex worker. That was a boy that he hooked up with in Vietnam. No, but so. You just keep revealing these things about your dad. He did this like, he littered. It was funny what he did, but I always pick up trash to undo what he did, but he would, he was a binge eater. You're keeping up for your dad's carbon footprint. Of course. So he was a binge eater. So he would go get like a, like a six pack of cupcakes and he would eat the icing off them. And then he would, there was one party called it the trail of shame where he would throw all of his like trash that he didn't want to eat. The food or the wrapper? Both. It's bad. I don't know. He sounds like a wonderful person. He is a wonderful man. He is a wonderful man, but he had flaws. And so I, so I pick up the trash. Whenever I see trash, I pick it up. So I, I pick up the trash. You always did that? Always. Yeah. Just because your dad released it? He was a litterer. He was a litterer. And I was like, I can't allow this. So then, so then I went to throw the trash out. And, and when I looked up from the trash can, there was a white truck. You saw your dad in the garbage can. Yeah. He was like, no, but there was a white truck. And there was one tag of graffiti on it. And it said bear, which is what my nieces and nephews call him. So it was just like right in my face. So stuff like that. And then he, so he, this is gonna make him sound bad again, but so when I, he was very. He used to hit the homeless. He didn't hit the homeless, but he was very mean when I was little. He was very like verbally abusive. And that he was, he was mean. Made me a comedian. But then he, he just did a lot of work on himself after he retired young. And did a lot of work on himself and just became a really nice guy. Started taking pills. Well, he took medicine. Hit Xanax to sleep. Hey man, I don't take it. I've tried it. It's magic. Yeah. I never really liked Xanax that much. I snorted it in high school. I stole it from my dad and snorted it. I feel like people either like Xanax or Adderall, right? Yeah. I guess I'm the more of the upper. I try to not be on anything though. I don't need uppers. I'm already up. Except for right now. But anyway, so he, okay, so when I was little, the joke was he called me a cunt when I was little. It's funny. It's funny. You guys don't get it because you weren't there. It's not funny. Listen, it wasn't funny when I was a kid, but you know, we kind of alchemized it when we got older and became friends. And we were at the post office once and he, and this, we were in a fake fight. We would just like antagonize each other. And so he was trying to get me to hurry up. I was writing a letter to my friend and we were just not really fighting. And this old woman thought we were fighting. So she came over to me and goes, you know what, young lady, you're a real itch. And my dad went, she's actually more of an unt. An itch. I know. I've never been called an itch. But my dad very quickly called me an unt. So then I got him a mug that said unt. And then the, the handle is the C. And so I was missing him. I was staying with my mom and I was missing him. And I was like, I'm going to drink out of the unt mug because that was just our mug. And I went and I found it and there were like little like Santa chocolates in it that he had left to like surprise me. Whenever I found it. Isn't that sweet? They're so cute. Did you, are you going to wait until Christmas to eat them? I'm never going to eat them. They're so, I just put the mug back. I was like, fuck. Oh. That's so cute. But he was very like spiritual and sweet and really like, he did grow. He was just had a very tough childhood. When do you, do you think he got those chocolates? Yeah, I don't know. It must've been during the previous Christmas. Yeah. He thought I was going to find them obviously when he was alive, but it was very nice to find them after he died. It was like such a cute little like present. And then he like, he just, he like, so he was so angry when I was little, so pissed off. His dad left him. He was beaten. He was just like, had a really fucked up childhood. And then he, he started just doing work on himself. He started going to this men's group and just doing stuff. And he just became so, such a sweet, like loving, funny person. And so he had this box, this wooden box, and we were going through it. It's like a, it was like a puzzle. You had to pull all the pieces apart. So I'm like, oh, I wonder what's in it. I thought it was going to be his weed. And I'm, you know, it takes me a couple of minutes and I open it and it's just, do you remember those angel cards? Did you ever get those? There's like these cards that have different, they'd be like grace or say different words on them and you would pick one. Is that kind of like that, what's that restaurant? Cafe Gratitude? Maybe. Yeah. Where they, everything's called a different thing, but. Put up the Cafe Gratitude menu. But you would pick one and that would be what you're supposed to focus on for the day. Relationship, friendship, something like that. And so just the only thing that was in the box was the one that said light. And it's like sweet. He was just always like trying to look at the light. So a lot of sweet stuff. I mean, he did call me a cunt. My mom always, I have a video of my mom. And he littered. And he littered, but. And he littered men. And he littered men. But his memorial was like really beautiful. He just really, he had a nice, beautiful impact on a lot of people. What kind of men's group? What does that mean? It's called New Warrior. It's called the Mankind project, so it's just. I don't know, men getting in touch with their feelings. But he was, like, sponsored a lot of people, mentored a lot of people. And there was just a lot of crying men at this thing. They were drumming. I don't know. It was probably cultural appropriation, but it's sweet. Which culture? Native American, I would say. I feel like the Africans drummed. Yeah. Who drummed first? Well, the Africans. I think the Africans existed first, right? They did? Yeah, and then they crossed, eventually they migrated east and east to where then, you know where Russia and Alaska kind of meet? Do you know that Russia and Alaska meet? Do they? Yeah. The Bering Strait. Yeah, the Bering Strait used to be, I think it used to be connected. I'm not sure. I mean, but even now, like, it freezes and it's like 150 miles or something. It's not that far. And that's where humans migrated. In fact, humans and dogs migrated. Around 15,000 to 20,000 years ago over there. So as humans entered North America for the first time, from that way, dogs joined them. And then they were domesticated and they got smaller skulls. They're so cute. My dog has the smallest skull in the entire world. Like a half skull. I have a song about it, but I probably shouldn't sing it. Oh my gosh, of course. I'll put my headphones on. Okay, so he's got, my dog had mange, so he has these black eyes. So he's got bald black eyes. Does he drum? Oh, eyes. Eyes, yeah. Black eyes. Well, I mean, he's half black. He could. Parts of his body are black. But so he, so we go, Baa, baa, black eyes, have you any skull? No, sir, no, sir, it's just half full. Will you sing it though? Well, there'd be not much more. Baa, baa, black eyes, have you any skull? Do you have songs for Alvin? Yeah, but they're like, I feel very vulnerable. No, they're very vulnerable. Don't be vulnerable on this episode. This is the laugh one. You are my little boy that I love. I am so lucky that we met. I hope you're happy. I love you so much. Now may I kiss the side of your mouth where it's a little wet. Did you make that up or is that real? I mean, what's the difference? I don't know. I think in the, I would want you to tell the truth. I just made it up, but it was all real. But are there other ones? Are there other ones? I sing to him, but they're made up. But they're not a specific one. They're not a specific one. There's no repeats. Really? There's no bangers. Not that I'm aware of. I can make an album. Let me hear another one. All right, wait, I don't remember them now. I put myself on the spot. We can call Todd. Todd's a good singer. I'm on Rick Glassman's podcast, and I sang the Baba Black Eyes song. What is another Randy song? I can't think of any more. Nothing but tears today. Is he watching the Browns game? He's watching sports. Coming. I know. Why are you masturbating to the sports? I was sleeping. Why? Did you burp on the podcast? Yes. Todd, you don't have another song? Todd, do you litter? Let me think. Todd doesn't litter. No. Just ratings. I don't know. I know. The ratings are going down, Todd. It's always about how he's gay or something. And it's just about all that. He is. I would call you a cunt. I mean, you turn out great. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Thanks so much. No, I appreciate it. That's fine. It's interesting that you're blaming him. Well, I can't remember either. I know. There's so many songs. Well, it doesn't sound like it. Our dogs make us feel so happy. But yet, some people don't want dogs because they don't want to pick up the dog's poop. It is very weird. It's very weird to. Maybe it's one of those things you forget how good it is to have a dog. Because my nieces, they just got two kittens, which I'm not saying there's anything wrong with cats. I think cats are great. But a dog is like a whole thing that loves you, comes to you, needs you. Some cats are like that. Some cats truly are. Yes. And for those of you that are listening, that are like, "No, my cat's like a dog." Yeah. We agree. But what you're saying is it's like a dog. You're comparing it to the thing. Yes. I do think they're so separate. It sucks that they get compared all the time. But they got two kittens instead of one dog. And I'm like, "What if you had just gotten one dog?" We don't want to walk it. But you enjoy walking it. You like taking care of it. When you look at it like you have to walk the dog, you forget about taking care of yourself. You need to go on walks. Yes. It's a delight to wake up in the morning. Oftentimes we'll wake up and I go through some sadness that lasts a while. And I would just not only not leave my house for days, I would just stay in bed. And I would then like part of my self-soothing care was ordering an acai bowl and eating it in bed. Just at least open the windows. It's like all the things you could order, though. Yes. Yes. I'm like, "I got to get the fuck out of the house." I've said this on my podcast before. Our podcast. That one of the main reasons I. It would give me an excuse to go outside. And now I'm outside all the time. And they're happy. They're excited. They're so happy to go on the walk. I'll talk to Randy, too. I'll be like, "It's a new day, Randy. Aren't you so excited?" I teach him little things like he's a person. I'm like, "It's a whole fresh slate, Randy. What are you going to do today?" And he prances and he just runs over to everyone. Everybody loves him. Yeah. And then he's running into big dogs, which is hilarious because he's little. Does he litter? The cycle's over. It's done. Wow. I made my dad sound like such a piece of shit, but I think we all have our duality. No, you didn't. The only thing that I think was. Was the cunt. No, that's how he talks. The littering. The littering. Yeah. I dated a woman, of which is still one of my very close friends, so she's a wonderful person. But when we first started dating, I had gum out the window. Chewed gum out the window. Which is the dickiest litter of all litters. It's insane. And I said to her. I asked her why she did that. Yeah. And then I set a firm boundary where I was willing to walk away from the relationship if that happened ever again. But you would've stopped because you stepped on the. No, it was out the car window. We drove past. And I don't think she litters anymore. Okay. But you don't know because she's gone. I'm not with her anymore. Were there other things? Was that like, you know, the way you do one thing is the way you do other things? That's how I thought about it. To me, what it represents is. This is not my space. Because you wouldn't do that in your house. So I don't care. So it doesn't matter to me. Right. Which to me, which is so not fair because she's so wonderful, is. To me, it read as a lack of empathy. I'm going to destroy your home because your home doesn't matter to me. Right. Or, well, this is nobody's home, which is also, to me, a red flag. But maybe some people aren't thinking about it. I don't know. But like littering. People are like, oh, you could tell who somebody is by how they talk to a server. You know, or like a stranger. It depends on the server. Yeah. Have you ever had just a piece of shit server? I've had servers that are bad. I've never noticed. I never care if they're bad, though. Do you care? Oh, yeah. But does it matter the level of dining? Yeah. I mean, I'm not. If you're spending like a lot of money. I'm not not tipping them. I don't like the tension of a very expensive restaurant. You know, I went to a nice restaurant last night and they come over and they fill up your. still water. And they only fill. They fill it up 40% of the way. So then when it goes down to 20%, they fill it up again. So they're never really filling it up. I could do it. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, no, thank you so much. Now we're waiting seven seconds. Yeah, and you're interrupting. Correct. So what I now do is I say. Thank you so much. I'd love to. Please don't. I'd love to fill it up. And I've asked people questions. People dining with me, so I don't speak for them. I've asked servers. What it is is it's people like to be served. Right. And people like to be served in different ways. I don't like that. Well, it shows they're like being attentive. They're watching. Yeah, well, then how come I had to wait 12 minutes to have the. So thirsty probably, right? Yeah, well, I. We're waiting a long time. Table next to me was also waiting a long time. And I just. I got up and I asked somebody, "Hey, could I. We haven't placed an order yet." "Oh, I'll be happy to do it for you." "Are you sure it's not the bill?" "Yeah, please." So I asked, "What's the order?" And then the server doesn't check on us. But the supervisor. She referred to herself as a supervisor. I assume that means like a manager in 2026. Yeah, I remember her as a supervisor. Or guys managers and women supervisors. anyway and there's a whole thing and it was basically the supervisor took care of us the entire way and then they dropped the bill and like I gotta leave a tip now that I want to be like give this to the supervisor I don't know you I've never even met you I've never even met you and yeah that upset I go someplace but they tip pool a lot too so you don't no I don't think that's a thing anymore no someone told me that everywhere in LA tip pools a waiter that I had recently oh well which sucks because I never wanted to be in a tip pool when I was away were you a waiter yes you were good yeah yeah Kevin James once came to the table King of Queens and it's fun to name drop I'm not because the story wouldn't make sense I think I have a like a Torezzi like tick that I do this a lot all right did you used to do cocaine no so you still do sometimes do you no have you ever yeah never done it I just do magic you don't need it you don't need it you do well I can tell you as someone that doesn't need it you don't need it when people are bad at their job it stands out when people are good at their job it stands out even more but can I tell you I wasn't a great waitress as far as you get the food you want but I got great tips and I had fun like wait wait wait people wouldn't get the food they wanted if you ordered waffles you might get pancakes why because I have ADD I was distracted I would try my best did you write it down sometimes I wrote it down but sometimes I would play a game okay and you have to understand I had regular my my whole section was full what was the restaurant Life Cafe went out of business on Tompkins Square Park everyone wanted my brunch section they came to hang it was fun but I had a table this family okay I'm still friends with with some of them I would love to see the whole family but they would bring me presents you should get them on your pod yeah when you bring it back I'll have to have you on first I gave you the first one anyway the silks Brad Silk I'm still friends with okay so he's an amazing artist so anyway shout out to Brad Silk amazing artist he really is it's true okay so their table will come they're a large family and I would say do you want me to write the down what you're getting or do you want to see if I can memorize it with all of the modifications and get it right if they agree to that then that's fine and it was a fun game sure and I could do it but if someone was in front of me at the computer I'd lose all of it I had to do it immediately but I could remember I don't know what they wanted but I know it was breakfast you do that sometimes sometimes I go oh there was I don't know if it was a turkey burger or a regular burger and you didn't go back I would have to go back I would lose I would I would either get it all right or I would lose everything what does lose everything mean I would completely forget every order it would be gone did you only do this with the silks no I did it with a couple people did you ever work at Sonics and did they join you there no isn't Sonic Sonic though isn't Sonics what I think it's Sonic not Sonics I was just thinking of the Silksonics I know yeah okay but I just was like just there was like the franchise yeah there's lots of Sonics there are Sonics you're right yeah okay yeah no I never worked I never had the roller skate job yeah you look like you would be somebody that would have roller skates and you'd be chewing gum and you'd be like what can I get ya I think I would have been great at that yeah not great but you would have done it I would have done it I did have roller skates I used to roller skate around in college the dorms what's the biggest mistake that you made as a young woman I don't believe in mistakes okay I really don't I don't believe because I sometimes I get into a place where I'm like oh I probably shouldn't have done this or that but I do think that there's divine timing and everything happens to teach you something else and it's all connected and I have complete faith that everything is like working out the way it's supposed to and that's the thing that helps me when I am anxious is to feel that way but it's interesting my niece is 14 and she's such a sweet good girl she loves learning and going to school and she's in acting classes and stuff and I was like hanging out with criminals doing drugs like not really guided in any way so I sometimes I'm like oh that's tough that I was out there but it taught me lessons and stuff and I'm proud that my niece isn't like that what did it teach you? I know make it up I'm like make it up I know the difference between a Newport and a Newport like no I just I don't know I had to be pretty grown up when I was young I saw a lot of crazy shit and what did that teach you? that is , peace just comes from within that taught you that? yeah I think so I didn't get from my surroundings you learned that peace comes you learned that peace comes from within because of hanging out with drug people you don't think you would've figured that out? you don't do you think your niece doesn't know that peace comes within and she never will? well maybe she was just taught that yeah maybe she was just taught that from within but what I mean what you can you can look at your past and go like I don't go hang out with I mean I go to raves but I don't go I'm not like hanging out with criminals and you would've had things been different no I'm saying I learned to not hang out with criminals and your niece is gonna start hanging out with criminals because she no but I'm okay I see what you're saying but if there there's nothing she doesn't have to fix a thing that was off what do you have to fix? well I don't want to hang out with criminals I was hanging out with criminals when I was young alright well that's your time thank you for telling me what you learned for somebody who made no mistakes no but it's but that's not what I'm saying I mean I don't know it's not would you get your phone off your vagina? it's on my fupa not my vagina my vagina's here it's near your vagina this is this is up here this is like a belly it's still you know signal going to your vagina thank you for will you please not put it near my dog's vagina? thank you you see a picture? yeah your daddy with his cowboy hat yeah thank you that was his character oh he buck fuck buck fuck? yeah put the hat on sound buck buck fuck pretty good right? yeah it sounded like the man liked to rhyme he did he liked to pun he liked to rhyme he was good he was quick he was Mensa I would have liked to have learned more I would have liked to have learned you know enjoy reading would have been cool so kind of like but how could I change it's like you can't change things it's not I don't want to change things I don't want to look at you know you can start reading right now it's tough yeah you can change I found out I found out my whole family they all share books with each other like everyone's reading the same books and they just never have included me in it yeah I'm like when did we decide reading was for cool people? I thought it was I thought we all thought reading was for losers no and nerds no everyone reads I'm the one that yeah yeah well listen you got your own stuff that you got to deal with you're picking up litter I am picking up litter you're not hanging around druggies I am trying to read I am trying to read it's just you know I have a kindle I bring it with me everywhere opened it twice yeah I'm not trying to read and I'm not going to pretend I am those glasses make you look like a real reader well what do you do like when you are before you had Alvin and you were depressed would you what would you would you watch TV? eat, masturbate, and watch movies and not much has changed watch movies not TV now I eat, masturbate, watch movies and take walks yeah you go out at night not necessarily in that order go out at night what's that? but don't you think it's like we do a lot of things that are like high energy and then you do kind of need to just lay and recalibrate you're talking about doing shows or just living? well everything you do yeah because I think acting, everything it's like a lot of like I think I'm a high energy person yeah and I happen to be in that career I don't think it's a coincidence but I don't I don't necessarily feel like going out on stage or doing acting I'm like this a lot of travel a lot of been a lot of travel recently like this is what people do, huh? like going out on the road coming back working a day here going back on the road the next day yeah and then doing something on that part of the country so I stay a little bit longer and then doing stuff and then coming back here and it's like it's like I want to like get together the past two years all the shows that I've done and see how many I've done and where I visit and just like look at it and be like whoa this hour that I'm working on literally was there's all of the things I think that would be cool for me to see yeah because I've been working really hard on it I know it's fun it's such a fun job it's so cool and it's fun to be able to travel to like random places that you would never have gone do you rent a car when you go? I have but usually not I only do if I'm like I was just in Portland and then I drove to Eugene but like if I'm not driving someplace or like I was in Toronto and then I drove to Buffalo and then to Cleveland and they're all fun McCone just came with me to Philadelphia oh fun and he came with me to Denver Helium? yeah yeah fun did you like it? yeah it was cool yeah Philly's cool maybe if we have anything here we could swipe to a little bit of at least what did we just reference? we just referenced Philadelphia for some reason you were doing the radio show the radio show So yeah, we can show a little of that or something. - Now, do you. Do you have the energy to like go out and do stuff or do you just kind of lay around? I always think I'm gonna and I don't. He doesn't. You're tired. I like the idea of it. Yeah. No, it'd be awesome to go and like visit whatever they're known for. I toured the UK and Europe for a little over three weeks and there I made a point to do it. Like I hired tour guide and I drove to this and I did like, I did that. And I'm so glad I did. But no, like McCone would go and do stuff and go do there. And Mike Lenocci comes with me and he would go do stuff. No, he would does with you maybe. No, he doesn't. I would drag him out to do shit. Yeah, but I mean, what do you know? You do a meet and greet after? Yeah, every time. It's fun. I'm genuinely so grateful. I know, it's so cool. And surprised that they're there. That's incredible. And I want to take the picture. I want to take a picture with each person. I just don't want to do it all at the same time. I know, it's just, it just extends. It's just like a long. It makes the show longer. It's more draining than the show. And I still think, I still choose to do it. I don't have to. No, I know. But I, one time I didn't do it. And then it was so sad. Someone DM me and was like, I brought you something. I'm like, oh, I'm so sad I didn't do that. I've done it a few times. Like if I've been under the weather. Yeah. And I go back and I'm like, this is unbelievable. It's like flying first class. That's amazing. And then you get to think about your act. Cause the way it works is after the first show, you do a meet and greet, 40 minutes probably. Is that about right? Yeah. It's 40 minutes. And then the next show starts. You have to go on stage again. Yeah. Yeah. And then you do that again. Yeah. And then it's midnight. And now I want to eat. Are you good with boundaries in the meet and greet? What do you think? Like. Yeah, probably. What does that mean to you? Like for me, like sometimes people are like, we have to go. I'm like, oh. Oh, you linger? Like I'm chatting. Yeah. Yeah. I am very interested. People will start telling me stuff and I'm like, I want to hear the rest. People tell me crazy things. I'm like, what? I understand. I do follow up questions. I sometimes want to, but like I have another show. Yeah, I know. Exactly. I know. No, I did one so long once that they were like, we're calling you up for the other show. Like the show had done the. Yeah. Cause I just couldn't stop. Miss Pat posts videos of hers. Have you ever seen them? Uh-uh. Have you seen them? I'd love to. Yeah. She posts videos of her meet and greet. McCone recorded some of them. Maybe we'll share some. We're going to eventually post these things on Patreon and blah, blah, blah. But, um, but Miss Pat like has, like, I think it's part of like, it's part of what she does now. I think I've just seen random clips, but it just looks good. She's mic'd up for it and blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're just, they're just good. She's like roasting a little bit. It's really funny. When McCone does it, he sometimes uses a wide angle lens and he gets really close. And I, I get uncomfortable because. What if people don't want to be on camera? Oh, I know. There's so many things I would do if I didn't care about people's feelings of being on camera. It hinders my career. You think that the reason that your career is being hindered is because you just care too much? I do. If I didn't give a fuck, there'd be a lot more things I would be doing. No, but like, okay. So for instance, I hang out at my mom's retirement home a lot. And there, I'm like getting the most. Your mom owns it or she's at it? She goes to it. Okay. She's a member. But she's way younger. Because she moved there for my dad. Now I'm talking to people. Yeah, she lives there. Did your mom and dad live there together? They, only for eight months. So they had just sold their house and they moved. Oh, I have another sign for my dad. That's so crazy. So, okay. So they had a house. They lived in the suburbs of Philly. And then they moved to this place in New Jersey, the retirement center. And then my dad died eight months in. But it was perfect timing because my mom got comfortable there. She's friends with everyone. And just to finish that, I, there's, I'm talking to people who are 101 years old. Wow. And they're telling me. It's like crazy. And I want to like. They must eat a lot of beans. They're just eating whatever's there. Kind of. I'm saying to make it to 101. Maybe. I've been. What do you call it? Eating more beans. Fiber maxing. But anyway. With foods or supplements or both? Foods. Great. I've been eating a lot of beans, but you got to also water max. Because then you could just. You got to what? If you don't drink a lot of water too, you're in trouble. But okay. So. I want to do a thing where I like interview these people and stuff, but I feel nervous to ask them to put them on camera, but it's like incredible. I've been wanting to do that too. It's just the most incredible stories. And I'm like, they don't, they're at an age where no one's like going, well, what was your profession? What did you do? They have these huge, like, like principals of schools, like just doing all these incredible things. They're telling me about their, their, their husbands that died and their wives that died. It's just like crazy. Some of them are funny. Some of them are like. You better not get tattoos like that old, you know? So if you want to talk to people that used to be principals and people whose husbands or wives died and they're sometimes funny, check out Annie's new show. Yeah, I know. But I just have to, I have to break the barrier of, I don't want to, there's even like a documentary I want to do. And it's, I just feel weird asking people to tell me the information they need on camera. I need a producer to do it. I think what I know, what I was doing when, when, when McCone was there was at the end of the show, I'd say, Hey, I'm doing a meet and greet line or recording stuff. I don't know. I don't know what we're doing with it. If you don't want to be on camera, tell us beforehand, we'll put the camera down. Or if after we could blur or cut anything, I don't care about any of that, but just know if you're coming up that we're recording. And then like, I feel like that's the best I could do. So maybe you could do that instead of just using metaglasses. The issue is that people kind of tense up too when they know they're on camera, which I'm not going to do that to people. I'm not going to wear metaglasses, but. I have a trick. So, and so McCone, next time we do this, that I'm going to have him wear just a full green suit. It makes people more comfortable. That'd be cool. And you look over and it's just the camera floating. No, you just look over and you see a guy in a green suit. I think it's funnier. Okay. So the other thing that, okay. So Todd, my fiance and I play this game called geo-guessing online. Have you heard of it? Try to guess where people are. It's Google maps. So they'll Google maps will just send you anywhere in the world, anywhere in the world. And you have three minutes to figure out where you are. You can walk around and, and guess. It's so fun. Okay. And so the day after my dad died, we were playing it and it dropped me in this and I go, that looks like my, where my parents just moved from. So I guess it and it's right. And I'm able, it was one block away from their house. So I was able to walk over to their house and it was when they took the image from when they were living there. So it was my, my mom's car in the front, my dad's car in the front. And then there was a tree covering, but my dad was 1000% behind there in his office. Man. Do you think that's a sign from the heavens or is that Google? Being very invasive? No, I don't think it was Google being invasive. How would they have known where my parents lived at that? I wasn't going, my parents lived in Windmar. I know, but they don't, they don't know. They do. And my brother found. I think it was a real sign. I think so. I mean, that's where you ended up. Yes, I am. But they had, yeah, it's just, my brother found a book my dad had given me in college and it was like inscribed for my, I'm like getting like messages. It was just a lot of cool stuff. Huh. What does it mean? I think that they're just with that. They just wanted us to know that they're still with us. I definitely, Bobby Lee was on the, the cruise. And I remember, you know, being around when his dad died. Was this the workaholics one? Yeah, it was the workaholics one. And I remember being around. So I was like, I just wanted to talk to Bobby. Like I was like, get me to Bobby, you know? So he just said. Why did you want to talk to Bobby? Cause I was, I remember talking to him when his dad died. And so he was just like. The two things I can tell you are he's never left me. And I know I'll see him again. And I feel exactly that same way. Like still here. And I think they just like give you those signs. If you're open to them to just like, let you know, they're not really gone. Yeah. And I do believe I'll see him again. And I never was like religious or thinking about that, but I'm like pretty positive that I will, that we all kind of get back together somehow. This is just my life now. Trying not to cry everywhere. Why do you always try not to cry? Because I try to, you know, I really like to entertain people and make them laugh. Is what I really like to do. But you know. Do you think you kind of got into the wrong thing? What? Like maybe you're not somebody that's able to do that. Yeah. Maybe you should get into just like street sweeping. No, you know what I always think about? The tin men. Being like a tin man. Why? Because you get attention, but you don't have to do anything. It's hard to stay still. It's like impressive in a way. Oh, the people that… And you get to huff a little paint. The people that paint themselves silver? Yeah. Have you ever tried it? No. I mean, it wasn't out of huffer. No, I meant being like miming. Miming? Just in a… Like summer camp, we would do some miming. Quaker summer camp. Was that religious? Yeah, but Quaker's not really. It's like a light religion. Is it? Yeah. What does it mean? That's the oats, right? It's like a hippie… There's oats. Yeah, the oats guy was Quaker. It's just like a very hippie-ish… It's like Unitarianism. It's like God's in the form of an inner light that's in everyone. So just peace. and seeing the good in people that sounds beautiful well i did get molested so yes sometimes not seeing the good in people um when were you molested no it's fine just talk about my dad call me a cunt have you talked about this uh on your podcast on podcasts a bunch yeah in the decades so if people want to hear about your molestation where's your mark maron's podcast i did a pretty in-depth one about on his oh yeah if you want to check out uh my last station store go to wtf will you give them the cliff notes it was my teacher i took him to court um what your teacher what what kind of art teacher how old were you 15 how old was she that would be fun how old was she how old was he it's always him she's like 26 you don't think it's bad i don't think you're going it's not that bad i saw your face go not that bad you didn't i think that's bad in fact i know that's bad he had dreads to his even if the age wasn't that far apart just the fact that he was your teacher is bad let alone the age you know what happened what did you guys do he wanted to draw me nude jerked off on me so you agreed for him to draw you new but i didn't want to it was like a pressure thing because other people were doing it was this right around when titanic came out right it was a little after when did titanic come out 97 96 or 97 yeah 98 i don't know yeah maybe when did titanic come out it was like 98 when that happened or 97 but so so so you're 42 right so you were 14 so this was two years after titanic came out maybe yeah do you ever think that if james cameron did that put that scene in you wouldn't have that wouldn't have happened oh with the drawing yeah i'm seeing the connection now um he drew you naked you got naked where was this at his house fuck how did you get there my mom dropped my parents they dropped me off what did they think they were dropping you off for to get tutored by his wife but they would get me weed and alcohol oh so he was married yeah and they were like grooming us hold on a second did you lie to your parents i didn't tell them that we were smoking weed and drinking but did you know but what did you know they got my parent they got my parents to tutor you in art what were they gonna do no she was my she was my she was my um she was my english teacher oh that fucking sucks man and then they're just real people they're teachers and they were doing that well there were white people with dreads there should this is where they go to jail one night in jail but his lawyer was my uh his daughter was on my softball coach was my was on my softball team i thought you looked like a softball coach i was a baseball i played boys baseball too pick me um but so yeah no so his his lawyer was like my mom's personal trainer's ex-husband whose daughter was on my baseball team and he was sometimes the anything because he like knew us so he got him all like he got my parents to sign some plea deal it seems like he just kept getting off huh yeah he got off all over me that's that's a conflict of interest for me i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't have interest no i know it's fucked up and then my mom just told me two weeks ago that because i was like just star was the wife there yeah or she wasn't there during that moment but she was around so did he draw you naked first there was a drawing yeah do you have it no that would be cool and then what then he just took out his he sat on the back of my legs and jerked off on me oh my gosh what were you feeling in that moment complete shock i couldn't believe it yeah i was like so fucking shocked and you don't want to say anything because you couldn't i couldn't it was like it was almost like i couldn't even believe it was happening to the point where i was like don't say anything it's not real i got up i like got him off me got up i didn't even wipe the cum off my leg i just put my pants on i had to go work to work i had a job at color me mine it was my first job i ever had and i literally did that to you he literally colored you his he did he colored me his he i like to think he jackson pollocked me with just white paint you know so many puns but just it's not okay no it's not okay but it is did make me an artist but um but the worst part was not that was like traumatizing but when i did take him to court he got all the kids like against me everyone called me a liar that actually was oh so he said it didn't happen yeah and then he like he pled guilty but then he got not he pled guilty to what but he said he didn't happen he said he didn't do it but he made it like he was he was only pleading guilty to like get this plea deal or whatever so my mom told me two weeks ago because i was starved for just people to to defend me but nobody wanted to talk to me about it they were just so guilty like my parents were so guilty because it was i mean they should have noticed that the maybe the dreaded white people weren't the ones to let their daughter go to their house do we know if they did anything else like did something happen to them later on i found out um well he i found out a lot of other stuff in the school so there's some things i'm working on but um i've just found out a lot of stuff like it's a system it's like the whole school for a long time a lot of fucking quakers man but they weren't quakers i don't really it wasn't a quaker school but i'm just saying the quakerism and my parents that are would say like okay our instinct is maybe like don't send our kid over to these like dreaded people's house and stuff they're like oh no people other people don't trust them we'll trust them with our kids it was like the quakerism was kind of bad kind of got in the way i've seen too much good in people in a way but um yeah so my mom told me that that the lawyer's ex-wife who i do have a relationship with she she's like oh yeah no she reamed him out and was like it's so fucked up you did that like why would you do that to annie she was just like a kid and that he was like yeah you're right i shouldn't have done that i'm like i would have loved to have made that offer i shouldn't have been his lawyer right and i'm like wow i really would have liked to have heard that i just had no one really on my side call him i know no i there's a lot there's something i'm there's something happened for patreon i'm excited to see no there's some things i have some ideas so well i've gathered quite a little yeah i don't want to get cummed on yeah what if that became my thing and i was like you have to come on the back of my leg it's the only way i can get off i don't think that would be that hard to do it's an easy one yeah i mean what i mean you if there's some just you know like we could take this out if you want where do you usually like to be cummed on it's like i like a like it to be like a shower no we'll take this out i don't have a funny answer for that you know but what's the real answer the real answer i don't have a plate i don't care yeah so then i mean that i i think when it was closer to that i would have been a little triggering yeah i think that i've done a lot of like work i do feel like before i didn't want to really like i didn't want to do anything about it because i wasn't like i've done a lot of healing work you're in a men's club now i do a men's group yeah known as comedy in the la scene i mean yeah in a way you know i hear these things i think i'm i think i'm so far removed from other people's lifestyles while still being in the same place as them that when i hear stuff sometimes that all sounds like cartoons to me oh yeah and like there's drama and there's beef and these people did this and these people are accused of this and that these people don't like these people and you have to be this certain way and da da da da da and like it it not that i don't believe it but it almost it feels like um like uh what's real who doesn't like who is i believe it's difficult being a woman as a comedian blah blah blah blah blah right but also the blah blah blah is it and i believe your experience what experience i'm not yeah not you as particular but just like women they talk about it's like oh you know when he cummings used to talk about it quite a bit of like you know you have to be a certain way and i i both believe you and like this is being one of you want to be i know it's not that simple but like i would go on stage and i would do things that everyone that would confront me with would be like that's not comedy you know don't do that stuff and i never thought oh i better do something else right maybe it would have benefited me somewhat but like i'm it's a level of like yeah well if you believe in yourself and you like what you're doing self-confidence no but kind of i mean i don't know what the difference is but that's what i was kind of getting at that i have gotten to a place of like where i don't external things don't when you're looking for external validation then those people can change you and they can move you but it's don't you just want to be yourself and the things that you like and yeah i'm not somebody who who who subscribes to the idea that you should be avoiding external validation i understand it's not sustainable but we're tribal people and we go up in front of an audience and to pretend that we don't want to be liked and accepted i think is is a lie but it's a different no no no it's not a lie it's a difference between is that like okay so when my dad died i take took this hit right because i would call him and he would make me feel better and he believed in me external validation and then i did ayahuasca with my mom a couple weeks ago and i was like I had done it in Brazil right after he died and I had had a direct communication with him and I was wanting him to come back. I was like, dad, come back, help me, like give me these things. And I was wanting my mom to like, to, you know, to do this, this medicine and then to like be thinking about me and then go like, oh my God, I can't believe I dropped you off at this teacher's house or like to, to like give me these like apologies or this stuff. And she didn't, I mean, she did some, she was loving and nurturing, but it was like, she didn't do that. And my dad didn't come to me and I went, oh, somewhere I stopped believing in myself and I just truly didn't believe in myself. And so then I'm out there trying to like, get like people to tell me I'm good. And it doesn't matter. Like nobody can love you more than you love yourself really. And so I just, I kind of got that lesson and it's just been a profound and nice two weeks. Where it's, it's so much, it was two weeks ago that I did the ayahuasca with my mom, where I realized that I had like lost faith in myself. Yes. External validation can't replace self-acceptance. Well, you want to, yeah, you want to, that's the most important thing. But loving yourself and then. Getting external validation. It's okay. Enjoy, enjoy dessert. Enjoy the dessert. Listen, I love it. I love when I have a great set. I love when I, you know, have a successful weekend. It's great. It's great to sell out. What makes a successful weekend for you? Selling out? And feeling, yeah. And like, like crushing and selling out. Yeah. That's fun. Cool. That's great. But it's, you know, but also if I have a new joke that works, that feels like a successful weekend. It's, I don't know. I'm just trying to go easy on myself. I've been tough on myself. I don't want to like, I want to enjoy my life. I don't want to worry, regret, feel bad all the time. I mean, allow myself to if I do, but. Yeah. You got to get out of the house sometimes and take a walk. Yeah. And sometimes you got to fucking brain or bed rot and not do it. Cause you're fucking tired. Dude, when I wake up and I don't have something to do that morning and Alvin is next to me, sometimes Alvin will like get up and like start licking me and like, and if I want to go back to sleep, I'll be like, let's go back to bed. And he'll go back to bed. If he doesn't like, oh, he needs to go potty. Right. Um, but if he's not even getting up on me and doing that, and just like, he like looked at me like he's tired. It's truly like a, are we doing this? Yeah. Let's fucking, let's do this. Let's go back. Let's go back to sleep. That's nice. I can only imagine what it feels like to be sleeping next to somebody that you love. And when it's, you get, you're getting up. And then if she were to look to me, like, whenever I'm in a relationship, they're always wanting to get up. They get up before me. And then I get up. But if it's like, Hey, do you want to go back to sleep? It would feel like them saying like, do you guys, do you want, like, do you want to play over? Do you remember that as a kid? That feeling? Did you do that? Yeah. When you get to like sleep in on a Saturday. No, I'm saying when you come over after school and you guys would get a note that they could go on your bus. And that, I don't know about the bus. I went to Quaker school. So yes, we all lived in nothing. But the Quakers were good. But, but the school, my high school was a, it was for juvenile delinquents. Oh, you were a juvenile delinquent? Not really. Put me there. Right. They liked the art program. Well, that can't be true. No, they did. The reason they put you in the juvenile delinquent school wasn't because you were an issue, but because there were rapists that taught art. Well, they didn't know about the rapists yet. Didn't they? Google knows everything. Google doesn't know. Google knows. Google knows what they've been looking at. Google knows their emails. Oh, I see what you're saying. Google. Yeah. But this was, you know, we didn't have cell phones back then. Yeah, it was a different time. I went to a special school for troubled kids. You did? It was called PEP, Positive Education Program. PEP? PEP. It sounds like they're mocking you. Yeah, mine was, it was like juvenile delinquents and kids with learning disabilities. I mean, I was not good. I mean, I was smoking cigarettes and stuff. I wasn't like. You were smoking cigarettes is not what brings you to that school. There was something else that brought you there and it wasn't the art department. And I'm just saying it might be something worth asking. Who? Who? My mom. Your mom, yourself? There's no, you just, at some point you go, I'm not going to get any. I'm not going to get any answers from these people. Well, it sounds like. I gave her the ayahuasca. I thought I'd get some answers. I don't. Is she avoiding or is she lying? I think she avoids a lot. Get her on the phone. For what? I'm going to talk to her. About my school? Why you went there. Yeah. Ask if it's okay. And if so, hand me the phone. I'll tell you the interpretation I have though. Here's what I'm going to guess. She's going to say, well, Annie was so bad. My mom wrote a book. My mom wrote a book about how horrible I was. It's like. She wrote a book? She wrote a book with my therapist about raising troubled teenagers. And in the, in the opening, in the introduction, it's about how terrible of a teenager I was, how horrible I was, how it was this nightmare. Can we get this book? And then, yeah, I mean, she didn't sell them that many. She didn't sell that many of them. You should sell them such a thing as your merch. I did think about that, but yeah, I could. But she. She did with his therapist who was like a weird creep who like only, he would only do work with troubled teen boys. He now only dates twinks and he. Fuck. This is what I'm talking about, about I'm so close to all these things and I hear these stories and I believe them. But like how I'm so grateful that I'm not like in that world. But my mom. What the fuck? And then she goes, and then she's like, and then that this therapist like changed, made me like. A good kid. And it's like, no, my dad retired. And I started, I got attention from my parents and it was like my dad and I had the best time. Man. But they, I realized actually in Ayahuasca, cause I was taking on a lot of that where they were like, you were this terrible teenager. And, and I was like, was I? Probably though. No, but this is what. You have vibes of a troubled teen. Can I tell you, but can I tell you what it was? They called me a cunt and a bitch when I was a little kid. Yeah, but that's. And when I, but when I, when I got to like. But who's that? Your dad? My mom and dad. So when I got to a certain age, when I, like had a little autonomy, I was like, oh, I can give you back the respect I was given. So it wasn't like I was like out of nowhere, this crazy, given this like beautiful experience. It wasn't your fault. I understand. But you were a trouble. They, that they raised. Yeah. Yes. They raised you to be trouble. My mom went recently. She was like, I was just such a good student. It was so easy for me. I guess it was just the way I was raised. And I went, yeah, I was a terrible student. It was really tough on me. I guess it was the way I was raised. And she went, oh, got her. You should do it. You should do, uh, uh, uh, crowd work where you put your mom in the front row. She comes from, she would. I'm saying, and just like. But my relationship with her now is just full acceptance. I love her. Say that I want to ask questions. Hi Annie. What up bitch? No, my friend wants to, we're on a podcast and he was like, ask your mom if it's okay if we talk. And so it was funny for me to call you bitch. Oh, hi Annie. Hi mommy. How are you? I'm good. He wanted to ask you some questions about my teen life. It's about school. About school. Your teen? About high school. Is it okay if I ask a couple of questions? Okay. Why not? Yeah. And if there's anything that you guys talk about that nobody's okay with, we could edit around. I've been crying about dad on the podcast. Mom don't. Um, I went, uh, I had to go to a special school when I was younger for, uh, for, for some troubles and we were connecting on that. And Annie told me that she went to, uh, a juvenile delinquent school. What, what age or grade around was that? Now, Annie was not a juvenile delinquent, but she did go to a school where a lot of people went because it got kicked out of other schools. Right now, was that something that the school wanted her to do or that you wanted her to do? What? Go to that school? Yes. Well, you know, and when she was in seventh grade, she had to drop out of school because of her headaches, because she had these terrible, terrible headaches and we had her tutored at home. So it didn't seem like a good idea to send her back to the same environment, you know, like the noisy, you know, crazy environment of a big high school or junior high. So you, you guys thought that the headaches were because of the school and not something else? Um, well, we didn't know what they were from, but they seem to be brought on by, you know, stress. So we thought we'd go through a school that, you know, was more. And the school that you found was for juvenile delinquents or was somebody who referred that? It was, it was for anybody that had problems in school. Got it. I think it was for kids that didn't like going to school basically. But her problems weren't behavioral. It were migraines. No, they were, she was not feeling well. At the other school. And, you know, we thought a smaller environment would be good for her. Did the headaches go away when she left that first school? Well, yeah. Annie helped me here. Did they? I mean, weren't you getting them even, aren't you getting them now even? I get really bad headaches. You know, when you're an adult, you know, they're coming and you can manage it a little better. As a kid, we had no idea what was going on with her. Yeah. But yeah, it was, I think it was a car accident that we got in. Well, I don't really have many more follow up questions then because the way this was presented was that you had to go to a school for troubled people. But the truth was, you had to go to a school for troubled people. You had to go to a You just got headaches, so you went to a different school, and there were troubled people at the school. Yeah. It was an alternative school. It was like, you get kicked out, you get sent there. Was Annie troubled when she was younger? Was she troubled? Yeah, Mom, you're being, like, very polite. Well, after we sent her to the alternative school. Well, I started hanging out with criminals. All my friends were literal criminals that had, like, burned their schools down. I was like, Jesus Christ. I was, like, such a good kid compared to them. Annie, you got in trouble at the regular school, too, so. We smoked a little cigs here and there. You hung out with kids that were not the greatest at the regular high school. But now I'm friends with them again, Mom, so let's be nice. It sounds like Annie had a headache, so you took her out of school, and then she gave you a headache. Annie and headaches, they seem to go together. What can I say? I mean, I think you said all you needed to right there. Love you, Mom. Everyone says the same thing. Annie and headaches are like cream and. And coffee. Coffee. Sugar. If you want to. If you want to find out when I'm coming near your city. Oh, you just were there. If you go to rickglassman.com slash tour, you can sign up for my email list. I thought it was dot, dot, dot. So that sounds like. I don't even know who you are, so I guess I should look you up, right? You'd like him. You might have met. I feel like you met. I think. Oh, wow. She said, I barely know who Annie is. I know. I'm just learning about Annie as an adult. We are. You know what? No, we're bonding since my dad died. It's never too late. It isn't. What a luxury that you guys. I can't wait to do that now. It actually is incredible. It really is. It's like having, you know, like a best friend to hang out with and go traveling with. Well, now I'm crying again on the fucking podcast. Why do you think that's only happening now? Because her dad died. I'd say. Don't you, Annie? Yeah, he did take a lot of it. He was just. He was always there. And he was like her best friend. And so in his absence, she's got a new best friend. Right, Annie? I know. It's been very fun, Mom. I'd like to ask a question that there's no subtext to. But it is curious to me that because Annie had a best friend, you didn't feel or want or whatever it is to be that role. Right. I think that her father understood her really well. I mean, they were. There were two peas in a pod. Peas in a pod, I could have said, instead of cream and sugar. Sorry. Yeah. Or, you know, he was cream and she was sugar. Peas in a pod. Who knows? Right. Either way, it was. They were very, you know, like you sat them down on a couch. And if you turned a tape on, you would just get a comedy show. It was relentless. You know, like the jibes back and forth. And the, you know, the sense of humor was so. So similar that it was, you know, kind of crazy. And they both had the same kind of, you know, they would go down at the same time and up at the same time. So they could, you know, console each other. I hear their laughs were, were like a harmony. It was really, it was like, it was like two hee haw, you know. Is that how he identified? As his laughing, they were laughing. His pronouns? Yeah. Um. So whose idea was it to become now, try to become best friends now since he's passed? Well, we just knew we were, we were going to right from, you know, the week after he died. We said, you know, no more screwing around with this. We're, we're just gonna, you know, trust each other. I think I, I've been thinking about it. Like, I feel like my dad gave me his like ability. I like can see my mom through my dad's eyes now. So there's like, I don't have like the same resentment. I had before for things. And I kind of just see her like her cuteness more. Do you think it's time that maybe we write a new book about Annie? I didn't know there was a book out about her. Mom, the one you wrote? I heard that you wrote a book, a book once. No, I didn't write about her. The beginning is about me. No, I, I, I, in the introduction, she never read more than the introduction. So, you know, it's interesting. I thanked her for being the person that helped me grow the most. And I, I was very sincere about it when I reread it after she got so upset at it. After it was already published, I went, oh, this could really be read the wrong way. You know, like. Do you have it there? Yeah. Why don't you read it? Would you read the opening for us? So we could, I really want to hear it. I don't, I don't have it like with me. Oh, wait. I could. I don't. No, there's a copy to tell you the truth. They're in boxes. Okay. Could I convince you to go look? It was just like, I just want to thank my daughter, Annie, for, you know, basically, it sounded like for putting me through the ringer. What I meant to say was that, you know, like I could not have grown and developed as a mother without her. You know, like she just really. Made me who I am. Anything you want to plug? Well, not the book. Apparently. We just turned it off now. Tell me for real. What was the book? What was going on? Well, no, I mean, it really, that's exactly what happened. I was just thanking her on the introduction because it was, it was very heartfelt that, you know, like I am not the same person that I was. If I just had. You know, the boys and he challenged me and she just made me a better person and that's what I meant to say, but what I can't, when I rewrote, you know, with her eyes when she was so upset about it and I reread it, I said, oh shit, it makes it sound like she's, that's just such a hardship, but that's not at all what I meant. A little one. It's okay that she was a little one. We all, we're all imperfect. Right. That's cute. And mothers and daughters. We, you know. John Mayer said it. I think it was fathers, wasn't it? Fathers be good to your daughter. Fathers be good to your daughters. Mothers be good to your daughters too. Yeah, whatever. Mothers and daughters. It's like cream and peas. Yeah. Two creams of pod. Sour cream in your coffee. Yeah. Well, hey, listen. If you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but. No, I will say though, while my mom's on the phone, not that she hasn't heard this, but even though it's been so devastating for my dad and I, it's like, I'm hanging out with her in this retirement home having so much fun with her and just, I never would have, it's just some of the best times of my life as well, so. She's helping me see this place is not so bad. It's so fun there. Yeah. I moved here because of my husband, because he wasn't really going to be doing stairs. I was worried about him in a house, you know, falling down the stairs or something. And then he died about eight months after we moved here. And it's, you know. I'm here, but I'm not going anywhere. It's in New Jersey, right? Oh, there we go. Yeah, the people are, you know, it's just the people are old here. Is it the same one as in The Sopranos? That'd be cool. No, it's nothing like that. It's just an apartment building where everybody is 55 plus, but Scott and I used to joke that it's 85 plus here. Yeah, people were very old. Like Annie's good friends with 101 year old. I love her. I know she doesn't always remember me. Yeah, that's the woman that eats her beans, right? No, he doesn't. That's his joke, mom. Oh, no. You're not going to understand the reference. Blue Zone stuff. But she's not going to understand the reference. It's for them. It's for them. You're right. Well, it was nice meeting you. And I'm so glad that we called because I like to hear. All sides. I like to hear two sides. Yeah, of course. At least. I know there's more. Right. And there's definitely a happy ending here, you know? Well, that's where the problems first started. What? Happy endings? It's a jerk-off joke. Yes. Yes. I'll explain it to you later, mom. Okay. Well. Seems to be a little sarcasm or something going on here. No, we need to be joking. No, mom. Yeah, I'm just being dead serious. So, well, we are on a comedy podcast. I do try sometimes. And I am being playful. But, God. But Annie was telling me the story of when her art teacher had a happy ending on her. You know, mom, when you go to a rub and tug, like if you go to get a massage from someone, it's called a happy ending when they jerk you off. And since my teacher jerked off on my leg, he said that's where it all started. And that's not okay. That's not okay. To me, that's not a happy ending. It's a sad beginning. That was terrible. Yeah. Yeah. And. And, yeah. Fuck. A lot of sadness and regrets and hurt all the way around on that one. Annie says that she's never made a mistake in her life. No, but I didn't say it like that. I'm just saying I don't look at my life like with regret. I look at my life as like, what have I learned? What can I, how has it informed me in the future? But what have you learned? A lot of things. What the fuck do you want me to say? A lot of things. She's learned to be. Adorable to her mother. I do. And how to sell out her weekends Well let's get back to it Was she bored When you decided to go on your podcast Is that what's going on here Yeah probably No I I wish I had a podcast to go to It's boring as shit here in the rain You should start a podcast Call it 55 plus Plus plus plus Plus plus plus Yeah that would be really exciting Some people might die When they're on It is crazy It's like people are dying We've been to a lot of funerals Since I started hanging out with my mom We lost three people that I knew In one week here I'm sorry My fiance says I'm funeral maxing I know I keep finding all these little Prayer cards There's a lot of prayer cards A lot of prayer cards in my wallet Well thanks for being part of this podcast Love you mommy And for sharing your stories Well thank you Well thank you It was my pleasure Alright that's rickglassman.com To find out when I'm coming near you He was already in Sally recently mom Bye bye thank you Bye It's cute right Oh yeah That was thank you That was actually very interesting That was like informative That seemed lovely Thank you Will you please not put that on your pussy I don't want to have kids We have to break the cycle Do you want to have kids Oh yeah I want kids now You be a fun dad Thanks I think I'd be a good mom I'm a great auntie Well It's true I believe it Way less pressure Being an aunt Is less than having a dog Being an aunt yeah As far as responsibility Sometimes I bring my dog to be an aunt What do you mean Sometimes I bring my dog with me When I go to my You know That's a lot A lot of juggling Yeah well that's true Does feel good to give him back But it would be fun I would like the trials and tribulations Of being a parent But I don't know that'll happen Because of your age No I have frozen embryos I could do it anytime Have you ever thought about Selling them as merch No I thought about giving them To Josh Potter for his eye Like maybe the stem cells Could fix his wonky eye I don't know enough about He has one eye that's out I just feel like there's stem cells In the embryos Oh and yeah I guess you could Do that Yeah Or I could donate them To a gay couple Which is I did actually check that off Why a gay couple Why not a straight couple That doesn't have Because I I don't know I'm an ally to the gays I'm a That's good They need more They do I think so They do I think gay people need more allies I'm an ally to the gays Are you Is that what you're saying like that What is that Would people make fun of the way I'm saying You just It's just We just want to This is a heavy podcast Can we No no I'm not I'm not questioning You're burning me That is a gayish way to sit It is That's what they say It's gay It's fine I don't think you're gay I'm not concerned About any judgments And if you thought I was gay I would say thanks For being an ally You'd say yay I'm just saying My dad rhymed I grew up My dad crosses legs like this And it's more comfortable than this For you A lot of people No Todd said it's gay too I don't know man I think if you were truly An ally for the gays You wouldn't say things like that You wouldn't You wouldn't find ways Of finding things that Were jokingly less than Because of Because of the sexuality But why would you think It was less than You said it's more comfortable It's more than No to me it is Maybe it's straight men Trying to like Like putting on A way that's less comfortable Because they don't want to Appear feminine Because gay men Girls cross their legs So maybe it's actually That is what I think it is That's why I say that So maybe men are having the less Maybe straight men Are having the less than Stance And I'm actually saying gay Like you're sitting gay Then why not instead of saying gay Why don't you say You're sitting authentic You're sitting the way You want to sit No matter who you're attracted to We've just unpacked it Maybe next time I will say that There it is I don't see that As a mistake That I said that I say I learned You You Mistake doesn't mean You can't learn from them In fact Not only are they not Mutually exclusive They often go hand in hand Yeah but I think You're pulling apart A thing that I'm trying I don't know I feel comfortable With the way I explained it I'm not saying Like I have a perfect I'm not saying I have a perfect record I'm not saying anything like that I'm just saying for myself I don't look at things As mistakes Like if I did something different Who knows where I'd be And I'm comfortable There's a difference between Regretting it And recognizing it as a mistake I feel like you've made Tons of mistakes Since you got here I mean just the way You were talking about The way your mom talks about you You made mistakes She's That's a very different way That she's talking about me right now Interesting I wish you saw her last week With my shaman Jewish? Yeah Shmoly the shaman Ashkawanga What did you do? What's it called? Ayahuasca Ashkenazi Ayahuasca It's pretty cool Ashkenazi Ayahuasca Ayahuasca And you need to have somebody there And don't you poop your pants? You can't Well People don't usually Which wouldn't be a mistake No You're Yeah You're meant to do it It would be what Was supposed to happen Right I don't think I've ever done Ashkawanga Ayahuasca You'd remember if you did No I don't know man There's been a lot of drugs And shamans That I did stuff with That I don't remember What did you do? I did Ayahuasca once Oh yes I have The audio only people think I have Because they don't see me Going like this They definitely think you did it They think you forgot Is Ayahuasca for libtards Or do people that like Trump do it too? No I think people that like Trump do it as well We're all the same Interesting Well what are you? As far as what? Are you libtard? No Middle? Middle boy? Left center Left center Yeah Left center Yeah Left center I think that A lot of There's a lot of gross out there I think there's a lot of gross out there And My My values Line up with What seem like Liberal ideas Of Of the time But like I mean Brother You know what I mean? It's just tough out there Well all the extremes are a little tough right? Yeah Some extremes Are a little tough Don't like You know On either end of it What is the hard part to navigate My algorithm doesn't help me on this Is like Seeing that If you don't agree with me on How I feel about this, this, and this Then you're not allowed to agree with me And how I feel about this, this, and this Or change your mind I don't like that either Yeah Or people are really mad at people that change their mind You would never change your mind You only change your mind when you're mad at people You'd never change your mind if you made a mistake So you'd probably never change your mind No, it's a growth towards another direction So Growth I don't think I really I'm not gonna like Budge on this I don't think I'm being crazy Of course not You didn't make a mistake Or I just I don't I don't Yeah A lot of people know Of all the comedians Annie Letterman's the one that's never made a mistake Look Okay So People could look at things that I've done And say that I made a mistake But I look at them And I see the divine timing of them Yes I've done things that have had consequences That end up being the fucking perfect thing That could ever happen So you're grateful for your mistakes I'm grateful for life being a process That we're all growing at and learning Mr. President What I'm asking you is Did you win the election in 2022? I don't think this is the same thing as that I don't Because I just I can get into those thoughts And that makes me feel like Like resistance And like not Great So it doesn't service you to define your mistakes as mistakes Instead they are things that happened That you learned from Yeah You've learned from every What other people would call mistakes That you won't Because you've learned from them You've learned from everything Of course We all Yes Everything moves us forward Please tell me about some of the things that you've learned From what others maybe refer to Self-trust You haven't I was living I was in areas And like in this business Like you have a choice, right? If you want to get into certain areas You have to like act a certain way You can't Tell me Don't you think? I believe you I don't know Tell me Like if you Like you can't be You can't have a gossip channel And also go Like Perez Hilton Used to have a gossip channel Where he used to go like this And he talked shit on a bunch of Actors and stuff But then he started being friends with them And then he kind of got in this weird area of it Okay That's pretty specific But sure So you can't like You can't be mean to people And then want to be friends with them I think it's a pretty global Of course, right Or like air stuff out You can't be like airing stuff out Yes And do that So then it's like What is your motivation? Do you want to be someone who Tells the truth Is honest Is like sharing an experience Or do you want to be someone that's like You know like playing a part to fit into a place that maybe you don't belong in. Sounds like high school. Not my high school. No, not your high school. A regular high school. But you went to a weird high school. I went to a regular high school, by the way. Do you know what we were called? We were the Lions. Do you know what kind of Lions? The Orange Lions. Ah, there he is. Yeah. And there is my dad with us. But then I went to a special school in ninth grade. And I got out. You ended up as an Orange Lion? I went to Orange. Then in eighth grade, I was in specials class in Orange for troubled kids. And then ninth grade, I had to go to a different school. In high school, you went to a regular high school. But then I came back at the end of ninth grade with my ear pierced. And people were like, where were you? And I was like, I just was at another school. Did they pierce it for you there? No, I got it pierced because that was the time. I got my nipples pierced when I went to my special school. How did they do that? We went to a place on South Street Tattoo. And this woman, Sue, just, we would say, we're 18. And they didn't check ID? No. And then they took our baby breasts and pierced them. At Claire's for two summers in college. Yeah. And I would pierce earrings. Yeah. Yeah. I would pierce my ears and nipples. And whenever a young woman would ask me to pierce her nipples, I would ask for her ID. Yeah. Did her parents have to be there? Yeah, I did a few with her parents were there. But I just did, I said, I just did the parents. Did you use the gun? No. I did it old school. Wow. I used my dick. Don't write in. No, I would never pierce a nipple of a woman who was under 25. Oh, you want her frontal lobe developed. Yeah. Listen, I'm not here to tell you about when you should start hormonal treatments. If you're looking to transition or this and that, like that's a, that's a, that's a philosophy that, that I could, I understand the debates on both sides. And, and I'm not, I'm not able to speak on this, but I can speak on as somebody who pierces nipples literally for a living. If you're not 25 years old and you're a woman, I'm not piercing your nipples. Your meeting roots are going to get really long. Why? You're going to be piercing nipples. I feel like you're just advertising. I'm not going to be advertised to be a nipple piercer. Sometimes women will ask me to sign their bodies. Unless all your fans are under 25. I don't think so. My demographics on, on my social for my advertisements show that I am a straight up 50% women, 50% men. I know, it's beautiful. I was actually there when someone was talking to me. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Um, and, uh, 25 to 34, nobody younger, nobody older. I feel like I have more men than women. I would like to have more women. Easy. Just be, um, softer. You think that's easy? It is. It is for me. No, I've been quite soft. I think I've been the softest one in this town today. You know, it's funny that you say that because whenever I'm around you, I feel like I've never been softer. You feel soft around me? I've constantly, I don't think I could maintain an erection even thinking about you. That was soft. But that's the type of stuff I do to loosen up women before I pierce their nipples. I do feel like, I do feel you're not attracted to me and I think that's why we can be friends. Do you feel that other people are? Sometimes it's weird. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes people are very weird to me. And you think it's because they're attracted to you? Well, I'll hear them say stuff about me on podcasts and stuff. There were two male comics. Like Annie can get it? No, there were two male comics that were like. Hey, before you go on, remember, is this something we want to talk about? Yeah, I don't care. Okay. I have no regrets. No mistakes. Um, that's my new saying. No, but I, so two male comics once were on a podcast and they were, my name came up and they're like, oh, she's so fun to sext with. Just like write her dirty stuff. Never. I've never even texted with them. They just said that thing. And then both of them are very odd with me when they see me, but it's fine. No, it's not. It's just weird. Is it Amir Kay and Benji Aflalo? Imagine. No, I love those two guys. Me too. They're good guys. I haven't seen Benji in a long time, but I always liked Benji. Benji had a kid. He got married and had a child. I know. It's shocking. But I know a lot of people with kids. I know it's weird. I mean, I guess it's normal. I'm the weirdo, but. I'm still, I mean, you're 12 years older than me. I don't like that you're making this lie. I'm not. Well, because if you're 30, then I'm 30. You're, I'm 33. Okay. I mean, I know you're 42. Your father died when he was 84. I'm 43. Are you 43 now? Yeah. You turned 43 this year. Did you turn 41 or 42 yet? I turned 30 in July. Go get another laser if you're keeping this up. Zerf. X-E-R-F. Is it real that you're, did you really get it? I got it. I don't know if it did anything. And maybe I just have to do more. I did two, two treatments of it. Really? Yeah. It's kind of like Morpheus 8, but less painful. But did they, did you just go in for like a routine thing? And then they're like, go get this thing. Where did you, where'd you hear about it? Yeah. Oh, I've been curious about it for, for years. Because you like doing skincare stuff. I do like doing skincare stuff. It does, it is cool. It's fun, right? Yeah. I remember Whitney told me about Morpheus 8 years ago. And I've always been like, which one? And then there's all these new lasers that keep coming out. And Korea's at the front of all this stuff, man. They really know what they're doing. Korea's where it's at. But everyone goes to Turkey. That's for hair. No, they go for a lot of things. People go for a lot of stuff. I thought Turkey was for hair and Korea's for skin. No, they do the good products. I don't know about the, I mean, I don't know if they're, what the laser situation is over there. But people go, I get a lot, in my algorithm, I stop for facelifts. So I see before and after facelifts nonstop. Oh, yeah. I love them on men, women. I see them all the time too. I love male face. I love clocking a facelift in person feels very fun on a man. When you see a little scar. By the ear? Yeah. Yeah, listen, I'm- I like people doing stuff. I think it's fun. I think it's, you know, like- It's crazy. If you could know how it looks after and you were confident, more people would or wouldn't do it. But watching the in-between is like such a freak show. I love it. It's like people are really stapled together. Yeah, it's always scary. It's so gross. Have you seen these CO2 facials? No, what does it look like? It looks like they've been burnt. Their face has been burnt. It looks like it's like, it's like hard to look at. I think I have seen them where people will do like, they'll show like the day progression. How long does it take? I think it takes a few weeks before you could come back. It looks like you were a victim of something. Wouldn't it be cool if we were rich? Well, I don't know what your financial stuff was. I'm doing great. No, in the beginning of the pandemic. Because so all the like celebrities got like crazy stuff done because they had downtime. You know, if I could go back to do stuff with money and during the pandemic, I am really disappointed in myself because I had, I invested into crypto a while ago and. Before the pandemic. Yeah, not too long. Yes, 2017 is when I got into it. 2016, 2017. And I've watched it do this before, you know, and I remember it takes some profits and I did, but then I like, I use those profits to buy magic cards and comic books and stuff, you know? Yeah. And I, I could have sold and bought real estate at a 2%. I know, I know. And then re-bought. Yeah, I bought Yeezys. Oh. I fucked up. Well, no, you didn't. What did you learn from that? Right, I did learn. What did you learn? Don't buy Yeezys. Don't buy Yeezys? Well, I learned, I did learn financial things, but I don't think, well, yeah. Is that okay? Do you think that was a mistake to feel that way? I mean, I see the point you've been trying to get to the whole time. Trying to get to. Did I give it to you? You don't need to give it to me. If you did, then you would be making another mistake. It would be a mistake, yeah. You put yourself in quite a cream and peas. Pickle? Pickle and dill? All right, let's end this. Only because. It's been five hours and I've cried several times. Do you feel comfortable with everything? Do you want me to edit anything to maybe like fix your posture or? Oh, shit. Are you even in frame? Holy shit, dude. You are so low for this. Have I been like this the whole time though? Yeah, you know what? It is what it is. It's fine. I was. But we're going to do it one more time. Yeah, let's start over. Yeah, let's start it over. What's up, everybody? It's Rick Glassman. And as you already know, today's guest is Annie Letterman. I have something to say because of the way things are framed and me kind of like not having monitors. Annie is both low energetically as well as her posture in the, Yeah. This is a Sunday up. So I'm going to do that again. It's Rick Glassman and our guest is Annie Letterman. Because I don't have monitors, Annie is a little bit low in the couch and the framing is just, it is what it is. I want to give a heads up because I feel like people might be watching this and being like, what the fuck is Annie getting eaten out this entire episode? I got very, well, I think my phone was, I think I was up more for a lot of it. Enjoy the episode. John Michael, that'll be the cold open. I'm wondering if that's right before Annie comes in or at the very, very beginning. But also you might be like, hey, man, you know, we frame this up in a way where we think it looks good. I'll take a look. But either way, we'll keep this in at the end. It got lower probably when my mom was on the phone when I got a little bit more. Do you think that was a mistake? No. - Okay. - I don't believe in mistakes. We've already plugged everything, right? Yeah. I hope I got them right. Well, if you didn't, then the audience will learn. Yeah. Theme music? Papa Roach? No. Scoop-dee-doo. Great. Blubber-dee-blue. Scoop-dee. Oh, yeah. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Scoop-dee-doo.