"Animal Style" (w/ Caleb Hearon)

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwanyu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa de Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my food days, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scam them. What? I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin, and we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said. Wait, they said that? Yeah, yeah, they said that. The best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff, give our input on it. That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener. Listen to Out of Character on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes I just feel like a burden. You're a bird. You fly. You're a morn. And we are Out of Character Podcast. Dude, who messed up the clip? Look, man. Oh, oh, I see. Am I online? Oh, and look over there. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, yeah. Let's culture these guys. Ding dong. Ding dong. We're hands and feet. We're talking pedicures, manicures. See now. How we like to hand nails. Yep. The hang-ups that go into scheduling them. So, uh, I, I go like, my nails become like, um, Pyka, is that what it is? It starts to flake. Like, I, I, I peel layer by layer of keratin. So, I guess what we're all saying is we're nail-biter's here. This is a nail-biter community. I've since been reformed. I've since reformed you. They look amazing. I have to say. No, I don't know about that. They look great. And that's that you have such a nice jewelry. You want people to notice it clearly. So when everyone looks at your fingers, it's like, they better be together, those little cubes. Sure. Sure. Um, but you are, you're, you're chronic with it. You are a chronic buyer. You're a chronic buyer. That is how my anxiety manifests. That's right. You know when I was a little boy, I was flexible enough to put my toe in my, and toenail in my mouth. And then my mother saw me sit, saw me doing it one time. I was like seven or eight. And she was, she sat me down like I had like, done something really wrong. And she was like, I want to talk to you about what it is you've been, been doing. Was the fetish born or killed in that moment? I guess killed, because she, it was like, it was really serious. It was like, I really want to talk to you about your behavior. It's like, I've been doing drugs or something like this has to stop. You have to stop putting your foot in your mouth and biting off the toe. Now. Don't worry. I don't do it anymore. I can't, I'm only because I can't get it up there. We, we're talking to our guests, I bet you could. All right. We were talking to our visual medium, can that put his own foot in his mouth? This is what it's all about, he can. Where our guest is, it's the habit is returning as he's saying, because he's dealing in with a stressful sort of, he's in a stressful situation, where nails get bitten. Yeah. I, I'm not, oh my God. Oh, he's wearing uggs and a matching sock. Am I supposed to be talking? No, hold on one second. Hold on one second. He's talking, talking 15 seconds. Our guest is wearing uggs and it's, that's not all he's contributing to the culture. That's not true. Um, so true. So true. You already know it. You, you know what? You love it. Yeah. It is, it is the current sort of current fucking raining. The current fucking raining. Model comedian on HBO Max, which I did have to double check it is back to being HBO Max. Just going forward, we all know it's back to HBO Max. Yeah. It's, it's not HBO. It's not max or it is HBO, but then it's not max. It's HBO Max. It's Valerie cherishes HBO Max quite and, uh, he's in this movie that is coming out soon called the Devil Wars Prada 2, 2, there's the sequel, the sequel, um, that actually is the sequel. If there's any sequel, that's a sequel. It's Devil Wars Prada 2. Absolutely. You're in the sequel. How's that feel? Okay. Let's bring him in. This is our good friend. Everybody, please. Well done, Kaelberin. You know, our listeners have been begging for all they want to hear is you, not us. Well, you guys refused to have me on. That's not really true. See, this is, and this was a bit on your pod. Do you, let's unpack this? Did I do this bit? I think you, I think you, and you were talking with someone about how- Did I do it a bit about me not coming along? I was just thinking like, we never invited you. Oh, that's really funny. I mean, you guys have been avoiding me like the plague. What is it? I feel this is true. I honestly, I feel that what it was was there was an era where we were kind of doing guests not like on the Zoom, and I was like, this has to be an in-person thing. I don't do. I really, I hate the Zoom part, guys. No, you've done it right the whole time. I won't do it. I won't do it for mine. It scares me. Do you guys, did you, because I hate it, I feel like I'm not being charming. I feel like I'm doing a really bad job. I just can't connect or Zoom. Right. Based on the example, the cases, the cases that you, the data points that you've collected this far, which is what? Like a handful of times. When I did them, because when we did, when I had my show keeping records with Shelby Wolsey back in the day, back forever ago, we would do Zoom episodes where we really did Zoom episodes because both of our dads died unexpectedly. So we had to be in different parts of the country. Sure. So obviously, maybe it was like profound grief. Yes. Maybe it was like us both being in psychotic grief. Yeah. That was really good. But I really, I do not feel that I did a good job on the Zoom episodes. I just hate it. Because you were psychotically grieving. Yes. Could be. Psychotic grief and also the lag. Yeah. I hate, like, because also with the zoom of it all, it's, especially like during the pandemic, when we started, it was like, okay, here's like a pretty big guess that we've booked. But of course, they're never going to see us in person at that time. So they got on Zoom. And having a lag with like someone that you're trying to, and like, you know, impress or that you respect. Yeah. You can't have a lag with camera DS. Oh, you can have a lag with camera DS. No. You can't do it. No idea. We can ask you guys a question. Yes. I've never gotten to ask you this and I am curious about it. And it's obviously okay if you don't want to talk and we can cut. No. Let's talk. We're not cutting. Have you? Look. I'm just going to ask. Go ahead, okay? Don't be afraid. You guys are so cute together. Was there ever a moment? Was there ever a moment that we romantically sexually and more or considered even? No. It would be like siblings. Totally. Totally. You know what? You know that feeling? Totally. It's like if you and Shelby were to. It's a little different, right? As siblings in grief, it's a little different. Any two gay guys are like, huh, of course it runs through your mind but then quickly relationship becomes what it is. But I do think it's that thing of like, so we're working on something together and I was talking to one of our collaborators on it and it floated through my mind like, huh should our characters have like a thing that they explore and then our friend was like, well, the thing is like with you guys in a show that's about two gay guys, it's like, if they don't kiss, you kind of have to say why. And I was like thinking about what the why was and I'm like, oh, the why is like platonic friendship. But then once you get on that track, it's like, well, is it more interesting to explore it because of that is that the surprising thing. So what I'm saying is, Bowen, there's something I wanted to tell you for years just getting can you imagine? That would be so awesome. If you guys have any big reveals that you've been waiting to do and you want to do it in the episode where I'm here, I would really love that. Oh, this is going to do numbers no matter what. We don't need to do a big reveal. We're going to say that for like a clunker. Imagine we needed like a sweeps episode of the podcast, and it's like, it's like Matt and Bowen getting engaged on Los Colatries, that's like when there's like a lion loose and wisteria lane. I would love that. I would love to be part of that. We can officiate when it happens. You guys should. First start. You guys should start. Absolutely. People have done it. Wait, can you tell everybody what your nail journey is? Oh, my nail journey. Yes, of course. I'm so sorry. I will get off track a lot during this. My nail journey is that, okay, so I kicked during COVID, I kicked two habits. Well, around COVID. Yeah. Nail biting. I was a horrific nail bider would bite shit down to the nubs, bleeding, bleeding, crazy stuff. Yeah, we're talking nubs. Doing that. And then we're talking, it's giving nubs. Yeah. And then my fear of death, I really got over hypocondrium. The hypocondria fear of death was wrapped up in one thing. Really kicked that. Yeah. I was like, that's probably just going to happen to me someday. Probably. I'm not certain, but it feels like it. Probably. So I kicked those, but yeah, I'm back just like last week. I started picking up my nails again, and it's, it's crazy. How did you kick it to begin with? Picking and biting. Oh, yeah, yeah, picking and biting. I just stopped. Whoa. Cool turkey. I just stopped. I was like, no more. I had to be really mean to myself for a minute. I was able to be sweet to myself. But I had to be mean at first. Every time I would pick up the finger, I'd be like, Caleb Daniel. Yeah. Caleb Daniel. Put it away. Ah. And I put it away. Here's the thing. They are filthy. They shouldn't be in there. No, they shouldn't be in there. And I'll tell you what I don't love is the sort of casual way a mother will just watch her toddler pick something off the ground and put it in their mouth. I guess at a certain point, it's like, you're exhausted. Yeah. as a mother. - I guess that's what it is. - Don't the babies need it? - Because they need it. - The germs. - Yes, yes, yes. - Yeah, you don't want them to have no germs, right? - Right. - Certainly it's not a judgment. All the moms out there, it's just, it shocks me when I see something on the ground that then goes in the baby's mouth. - Yeah. - Totally. But I'm a nail-biter, life-long. - How often are you guys eating something off the floor? - Just let's get into it. - I ate my Luxoproof the floor the other day. - Which one is that? - What is that one? - It's Glamour. - That's Halapram, that's SSRI. - SSRI. - So it just fell on the bathroom floor, it's a terrible place to fall. - Yeah. - And yet? - You need to love the bathroom floor. - And I feel, every time I take something off the floor five-second rule, I'm like, well, didn't they do a Mythbusters on how that is absolute garbage? Like, it's not real. Like, the five-second rule is like, it's dirty to put that away. - On your bathroom floor, Bowen. - It's really bad at Bowen's house because he's constantly missing the toilet bowl. Bowen, it's like a hose. - Wait, what? - It's like, it's like, it's like in those crazy movies, we're like not- - You open it up. - Not crazy. - We're not like a fire and spatter job, but it's like, oh, that's like Bowen in the bathroom because it was a big ol' and I kinda don't, sorry. - Oh my God. - What was on of the bathroom floor to fall on? - Pretty close to the bowl, yeah. - Really Bowen. - Pretty close. - Oh my gosh, this actually is deeply good for me to hear because that's the kind of thing I would do, but be ashamed to talk about. And you're standing in bravery right now in a way that actually will move many in the community. - Can I really get vulnerable here? I feel good with everybody in the room. - Okay. - Just if anyone were to witness me digging in my nostrils for shit, I would be dead. I would move planets. I would go away, I would leave this earth. - I don't even have a lot of shame about it. I'm in my nose. - Can I tell you something? Can I take a step further? - Please be vulnerable. I feel comfortable with everyone, but one person in this room. - Yeah, and I'm not gonna say who. - No kidding. - And you brought them here. - You're right. - It's Michelle. It's my assistant. She's doing elder abuse today. - No, I'm in my nose, obviously crazy style. And not only would I be embarrassed for someone to see me in the nose, I'd be embarrassed for them to see what I sometimes find. - Yeah. - 'Cause let me tell you something. - Animal style, hair. - You're in your nose crazy style and what's in there is animal style. - Animal style. - Do you ever feel your nose like this and be like, oh, there's something really in there? - Yeah. - And then you get in there and what you pull out is pretty long and hard. - Yeah. - Can I say that? Has that happened to anyone? - Absolutely. - I think we all have a nose and we'd all be crazy ridiculous fools to say we haven't dug in there and found something crazy style, animal style. - You ever just sit, you ever just sit in somewhere and you feel something, you feel something hit your shirt and you realize, you realize it's, you realize a little bit of your wax is falling out of your. - I never had that happen before. - Well, it's really gross. A lot of bunch of people just shook their head nose. So obviously I'm pretty suicide. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. - Can't remember how-- - Can't remember how-- - Show his head no so violently that it was borderline judgmental. - Nick. - No, no, no. - That is so bad, that sucked. People in the comments say if you've had earwax fall out and you felt the weight of it hit your shirt. (laughing) - I didn't negotiate you off the ledge because I too deal with ear stuff. - It happens. - Like, you ever take your AirPods out of this? - Oh, that's, it's like, oh, that's covered in the stuff. - That was like the glamorous girl version of what I was talking about. If people were being really honest with themselves, sometimes a little chunk falls out. - And I have to get up on the cross for all of us, but yours was so normal and I should never be ashamed of that. And also to be fair, you do shove those AirPods in there. - You shove them in there. - I want to know more about earwax if you're willing to share. - Totally. - So there have been a couple of times in my life. It's not zero, it's probably not north of 20. It's probably somewhere in the zero to 20 range. I would say plus, definitely north of five, south of 20. I have been sitting somewhere. I have felt a mass leave my ear. - It's while you're sitting down usually. - Totally, there's been some sort of shift movement, ruffle shuffle. - Yep. - I feel a mass of something with weight. - Yeah. - Leave my ear and fall on my person. I feel the weight of it hit my body, not unlike a punch landing on my body. - Yeah. - And low and behold, I look down. And yes, it's a little glob of earwax. - Yeah. - All that to say, I want to ground everybody in the fact that I am human. - Yeah. - And I have a body that produces things like earwax. I'm not here to, please believe me when I say this. I am jealous because my earwax gets logged. It doesn't, I wish it clumped. And I'm sorry, is that an okay word to say? - Clumped. - I wish it clumped. I wish I had nuggets of earwax. I have a disgusting thin film that stays there and will sediment into its own layer fused with my skin and the rest of my dermis for the rest of my life. - I was gonna say, I think I'd rather be Caleb and having it fall out because at least then there's the relief of knowing that that said mass is no longer in your body, then go through what I know, my sister goes through, which is to have sort of blockage because that becomes ear infection. And that's the worst thing that could ever happen to a human. - Or having no ability to defend herself or step in. And then just you being like, she has blockage. She's in trouble. - Talk about me. - Yeah. - Oh wait, no, I thought you meant your actual sister. - No, no, no, no, my sister's in my right. - I thought you were bringing up a biological sister who was nowhere in the room and I was like, that's insane and I'm completely addicted to that. - Yeah, I mean, I would then call her my biosister. - You're my sister, she's my biosister. - It's making it seem really fucked up when I ask you this. - Can I? (laughing) - Can I, speaking of bio, which I thought was a term that we like didn't really, this is like a prefix that we don't really use anymore. - Yeah, apparently people, so I was out yesterday with my friend Ian and we were at this place and then these two pups come in, two guys and it was like a little fun daytime sort of party thing at a space, two pups come in. - You sure? - Guys, guys, and they're in their pup outfits. - How puped are they? Just the head or are they doing the whole thing? - Head and torso. - Totally. - All like belted up, all puped up above the waist. - Puped up from the waist up. - Puped up from the waist up from the waist up. - Kind of like a douchy lyric. - Puped up from the waist. - Actually, it is? - It is? - It is. - Very, very alter ego. - I don't know my girl. - So, and I might be totally butchering this, please. I hope this makes it to threads and they have a lively spirited debate about this. - I will. - But, I'm sorry I'm crying. - Okay, so, I'm really crying. - So I cried, sorry I'm crying, we could be crying. So, apparently, people in the community call, like, canines, bio dogs. (laughing) - So, I'm not sure about that. - Bio dogs is so funny. - Just gonna have to, like, it just begs to have the terminology changed five years from now 'cause it's like what we used to call, like, afab queens, bio queens, and drag, right? And now it's like, no, that's an afab queen, great. Or that's just a drag queen, no need to, like, if you want to get tunneled, like, and funneled down into drill down into, like, the, oh, that's afab person dressing up in female drag. - Great. - This is a piece of information. There, every once in a while, a piece of information about our community makes its way to my doorstep that asks me, how progressive are you? (laughing) What are your values really? - How do you feel about bio dogs? - Bio dogs. - This is a moment where I have to ask questions of myself and I'm not, I don't have the answer. - No, we're not gonna answer them here. And I, again, might totally have butchered that. - Yeah. - And I'm not gonna say who told me. - Yeah. - I was in, but I'm not gonna. (laughing) - Ended it. - Yeah. - But I, I, I did, I'm with, I'm with you, I'm like, wow, I don't know. - Yeah. - And I don't want, 'cause I feel like it's a dog, it's like a right-wing dog was told to be like, keep that shit in the bedroom. But I am like, but I don't know how much of that should, should, should you know, cross the threshold. - It's a great question. There are, I do think there are things like, look, gay guys, I love us. - Yeah, anyways, I have questions about us in many ways. - Always. - There are things that we do and say and know that were only meant for us, I think. - Yeah. - Once it breaks containment, I do fear that, I don't fear, I don't feel that straight people can fully understand what's going on with us sometimes. And so sometimes straight people learn about a thing, particularly conservative people. They learn about like a very niche gay thing. And I'm like, maybe you were never supposed to know about that, I'm so sorry. - And also it's like, I, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go here, because you went there, I'm gonna go here. - We're being vulnerable today. - I do believe there should be separation, between the straight and gay communities because I don't need to mix with them. I find their morals really in the gutter. I think they're all cheating on each other. I think all straight people are liars. - Yeah. - I've never met a straight woman that isn't cheating on her husband with someone she just met on vacation. - We're looking at the women that, you all cheated on, I don't know your, I know you have all cheated on your partners on a vacation with your girlfriends. And that's why you wanna go back to Antigua. That's the only reason why, 'cause I'm afraid, people are cheating. - People are cheating. - And they're lying. - You guys, okay, friend of a friend, wow, this is juicy. - Go. - Friend of a friend, she, woman, her husband, mega dickhead, like military asshole. - Like a bio man. - Bio man, bio man, mean conservative homophobic, all the bad things you can think of, this guy sucks, he's the worst. It was revealed to me recently at a lunch, no less. Lunch is the best place to get. - Yes, absolutely. - Dinner starts to feel a little, it's like, oh, it's night, we're being kind of nefarious. Lunch is like, we're walking in the light of golf. - And honey, it's lunchtime. (laughing) - And honey, it's lunch right now. - And honey, I think my lunch has been served. - What do you want? - Wife, cheating on military husband. - With? - With a man 10 years younger than her. - Right. - It's not agent appropriate, by the way. It's all good, they're like, they're all in their 30s, 40s. Cheating on a man 10 years younger. - Uh-huh. - And a lot, cheating a lot, cheating regularly, carrying on a video. Very explicit affair, waiting until the kid leaves high school to leave him to be with the other man. Yeah. Planning to cheat. Planning to cheat. That's a whole other world of it. Planning to cheat, but how long can she keep the plan under wraps? Oh, I don't think he's very bright. Okay. Yeah. I think she could really do it. And women are very conning. Yes, they are. They use it for good. 10. Women are very conning. They think they're very smart on vacation. But she. And you know, one time, I was talking to a straight woman and she was confiding. She felt she was confiding in like her gaze that she had cheated on her new husband, with someone she met on vacation. And I'm listening to her and it took everything in me to not be like, you know what I hope is happening? I hope your husband is cheating on you. Do you hope that? If you are cheating on your husband gleefully and like getting away from it, yeah, I hope he's cheating on you too. Yeah. That's mutual cheating. Yeah, I would hope that someone isn't just getting cucked up. So true. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Yeah. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Yeah. Cucked up. Cucked up. Yeah. Cucked up. Cucked up. Cucked up. Yeah. It can be relaxing. It can be museums. It can be museums. Don't forget. It can be museums. Don't forget. That's actually a really good one. Those are like the three vacations. Cheating or watching museums. Yeah. You can break them all down into like so many different activities. And now, a vital break from our sponsor, Vital Proteins, you know the blue tub you've probably seen everywhere. That's Vital Proteins, collagen peptides. Now, why use them? Because they're the experts. And number one collagen brand in the U.S. I'm talking about ingredients backed by science and shown to be effective. I mean, when we hit about age 30, our bodies naturally produce less collagen. And collagen has a lot of benefits, a lot. Collagen peptides are a simple well in the supplement that supports healthy hair, skin, nails, bones, and best of all joints. And it's easy to use, add a serving to whatever you're already drinking. Morning coffee, afternoon tea, daily smoothie, weekly, whatever. I use Vital Proteins collagen every morning. I just mix it into my coffee or smoothie. It's super easy. And it's become a simple part of my daily routine. But however you do it, consistency is the key. It's crazy how something so effective is so easy. And right now, you can get 20% off your next order by going to vitalproteins.com. And using promo code "Losculturistas20" that's "Losculturistas20" and check out. Huge thanks again to our sponsor, Vital Proteins. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I thought you said it was proven by science. Never said that. I just said it was good. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my god, Lexi. It's called "Don't Lie To Me." I'm Lexi Iwaneo, where two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa de Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not gonna get any worse than fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. And I've always got something to say. If man were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're gonna talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Lier. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamor and Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? And the Scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s, all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents, tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to scam goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana, and we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast. The improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is foe journal, I don't know, I think I sort of foe journaling. Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. Yeah. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton Classic? No! I've been dying too! I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audrement Donalds at the Wonderland bookstore, 14. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland bookstore yesterday, and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Jack 30. No way! I have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Katrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear he'll get the elbows here, the eyelashes hate each other. You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast. I know. There's a lot of them to listen to these days. How are you going to get to us? Well there's a specific reason why you should listen to us. We are the best podcast in the entire world. I swear. I know. Bold. But why don't we list some of the things we might talk about on a regular episode? So sometimes we'll talk about, I don't know, the Uber driver we just had. How nice they were, or if we tip them or not, come and find out. Sometimes we'll talk about that weird news story from last week. It's the one you're thinking about. Trust me. Or maybe we'll talk about music and what's happening in the underground, or drama and music, or TV shows, or the Met Gala and what the actors wore. What we're saying is we're not afraid to talk about everything under the sun. And if you want to see what that's like, come join us. It's a place where everyone can hang out, anyone, wherever you're from, whatever you're like. You're welcome. Listen out of character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you an itinerary vacationer or are you a cheater? I'm a cheater. Oh, that's the binary. Well, I was an experiment. I don't love an itinerary, even though the last trip I took friends on was very, was mostly itinerary driven. But actually, no, there was moments of loose unstructured time. Matt pertinent to you in your story. Matt is a newly white guy who loves Asian culture. I've been to Asia, like, pretty much more than America this year. Are you wearing kimonos yet? Cause that's where it usually ends up. Do you have swords in the house? Here's what I'll say. I learned how to dress myself in the hotel, last hotel that we stayed in and the outfit that they gave me. Oh, yes. Yes. That was cold. That was cold. That was cold. It was, it was like a modern tatami sort of like Reocon sort of thing. And when I stepped out in the garb, yeah, and I saw myself in the mirror, I said, I belong here. Wow. And that's why I'm having what I'm calling, I called it to you my big Asian year, big Asian year. Yeah, it can be a very Asian year for you. And I think a lot of white guys who go down the path of being obsessed with Asia, I'm obsessed with these guys. Most of them have never been. Yeah. That's one part of the issue. Right. It gets into samurai swords pretty quickly. Sure. It gets into kimonos pretty quickly. It won't get there for me. It usually gets into an ironic facial hair. And right now your facial hair is looking very handsome and normal. This is kind of where I stay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'll go somewhere crazy. You guys both look great. Thank you. I don't know why I have to say. Thank you very much. And I was just admiring these frames. Thank you very much. Are these new frames or these sort of signature frames? I want to tell you I've been wearing these for a decade plus. And yes, these are the signature frames. These are the ones. Thank you. And it's seeing them in person that really is the high impact. You guys are special. What are you guys talking about? You guys are special guys. I like seeing you on this little couch. I like being in the room with you. Really? And that's why we have to do it again. I see you so often in my phone, but to see you, to see you, we see you often in the phone. This is nice. This is really nice. Can we just take a moment to say this is nice? This is nice. We need to go to dinner. It's like a jacuzzi being here. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. I have to say that one thing about where I was just at, which is puket, you don't even need a hot tub. Yeah. It feels like a bath, wherever you go. Is that true? Well, I guess it would have helped me, how do you mean? I guess I went there at the perfect time. because and I'll tell you something and let me ask you this question. Is it possible that there's more salt in the water and the sea water there? Of course it's possible. - I felt so amazing. I literally, I realized that sea water really does heal. Ocean water heals. - What happened to you over there? - Do you guys feel me? Anyway. - Ocean water makes fun of us! - I have the most incredible vacation in Puket and when in the ocean and I literally left being like, okay, note to self, you have to go in the ocean. - Yeah. So this is the thing, this is so well observed, by the way, this whole white guy in the Asian culture thing. Like I've really thought about this ever since, like just whenever you bring it up because it's like, there's so many different ways to be white guy in the Asian culture. Can you like the Hassan Piker thing where he goes to China and now he's like, China maxed to the gods. - He's not white though? - Oh sure, we'll take that out. But you know what I mean? (laughing) I've been cleave it in. - There are many ways to do it. - We're here from him. - I was like, how are you white or what? Okay, can I say, we're saying white guy in the Asian culture, but it is, it literally can apply to me. - Oh really? - Or like I go, I'm like one of these like weebie guys who like goes to Japan and loves it. I go to China and I love it. I go to like, I have not been South of China crazily. - Yeah. - Or north of Australia, north of South China. - Well you loved parts of China. - I loved parts of China. No actually, this past summer I was like, I see it all. - You see all of China? Why not see it all by sea? - I see the gamut of what this can be. And it's pretty crazy. - You described your experience at Disney Shanghai as not being great. - 'Cause the kids are shooting on the street. - That are shooting on the side of the road. - Yeah, 'cause they're shooting on the side of the road. - Because that's Chinese culture. It's like, they're from the countryside where it's like, you adjust the kids squat. There's a little pocket. There's a little like clip on thing at the butt. And then they just squat and they should on the. - There's a clip on thing on the butt and they should in the park. - It's a little square. - There's a flap on the butt. - Uh-huh. - And then they shoot on the ground. - And they shoot on the ground. That's what I meant. - I thought there was something or sceptical to capture the moon. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - But it's just going straight to the ground. - Nothing of the sort. - That's Chinese sort of. - Not digging it. Hope that's okay to say, not digging it. - No, no, there's nothing to do. - I don't want that at all. - No, there's no, there's no, like, you can clutch your pearls. - Meanwhile in Puket, you once. Any person that you talk to, there are any women that you talk to there. Sometimes they'll just come up and they'll go, "Ca." - And that means? - That means, like, thank you, like, hello. - Capcomca, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just love "Ca." I just love "Ca." - That's really sweet. - So when you're like a feminine woman, you go, "Ca," and then the men go, "Ca." - Well, it's more clipped. - And there's a lot to be said about that by the way, if we want to dig into it. When I'm abroad, people mostly say to me, "Move." (laughs) Or get out of the way. - And do you? - I try my best. - But those places are so small. - I know, that's the thing. - If you go to another country, they're not used to seeing a guy like me. So they're very, very interested in me getting out of the way. And I share that interest with them. I don't want to be in the way. It's one of my least favorite things to be. - Who wants to be in the way? - Oh, I hate being in the way. Love attention. - Some people love being in the way. - Well, they're addicted to it. - Some people don't know how to not be in the way. - There's being in the way, and there's being on display, and I'll pick the latter. - Hello. - And that is my housewife's tagline. - Hello. (laughs) - That was really, really beautiful and powerful. - Thank you. I didn't know I had that in me until just there. - I knew that you had it within you. - I guess I should have more self-belief. - I knew that you had it within you the whole time. I never doubted it for a second. How long have you guys been doing this show? - 10, we just did 10 years. - This actually is, we're very much in the midst of our 10 years, and also our 500th episode was, we were supposed to do like a big showcase episode for it. Like we were gonna do the 500 best things in culture, stupid list, and we've totally missed it, and now I don't think we can. - We're well over 500. - Where's the time? - Literally, where's the time you do a podcast? - I don't know, I certainly do, but I don't know how you guys do. - No, no, no, no, you don't. - I'll say when you, when I have, there have been times that you guys have put out this podcast that I have said, surely someone's gonna step in soon. Like you guys are so busy that I'm going, there's no way this is happening still. It seems like it's so hard. I don't know how you guys do it. - Well, and you know what's funny? Like we thought like, oh, Bowen's up, doesn't know. Now the podcast can like be something like that. Like we'll do a fresh every week, and it can always be topical, and it hasn't been able to be bad. - Yeah, banking is the name of the game. - Banking is kind of, it has to be the name of the game. - Any tricks for you when you bank? Like don't talk about-- - Yeah, tips and tricks. - Don't talk about the kickcat robbery that just happened. - People are always trying to bring up the kickcat robbery, and I hate that. Now just like, just chitchatting. Like I feel like, I'm so lucky because it's just me and a guest. And so it's just my schedule to mostly worry about. I mean, Nicole who engineers the show and chance who produces it, like there's two. But mostly I just get to ask questions, I just throw questions out, and then I go, that was so interesting what you said. - I have found the last few like big discourses that have happened, I have had like really, what seemed like really unpopular opinions. Like for example, the Timothy Chalamet stuff with the ballet and the opera. I think people were being insane about that. - People were being completely insane because they're a little tired of him. - Yeah, that's not fair. - And that was really what it was about, the chapel rone of it all. I could not believe that we just took what this one person like put on their Instagram as total fact, as total Bible, and kicked her ass again on social media. Only for the security guard to come out and be like, guys, she never asked me to do that. I work at the hotel. I thought there was a problem. So I went over there. She did nothing. - They have a particular problem with chapel. It's so, to me it's so funny because every chapel discourse is like, she will literally be like, she will literally be like, hey guys, please just don't chase me down the street. I'm going to dinner. - Right. - And then the whole internet will be like, you stupid, ungrateful. - Yeah. How dare you, you dumb, ungrateful bitch. - You, you, we, you're gonna take you down. Don't come to real. - Yeah, yeah, they're your band from the same. - You are disinvited from our great, it's like, - Contrarten. - It's really crazy. And also chapel is a Missouri girl. And I have to tell you, this was never supposed to happen to us. - Oh, this poor girl. I'm like, this, I, it's just so, I'm like, give that girl a break. Give her a break. - I've been saying it the entire time and I'm just like, but because you wanna know what else, it's so boring. Like it, all of these things are just so boring. - How should we treat Missouri celebrities? You, chapel, Nikki Glazer, John Ham. - You know, Nikki still lives in Missouri. - Yes. - I love her. - I love that about her. - Nikki moved back to St. Louis. You know what, the way you should treat us is, I think, I get pretty lucky. Everyone's pretty nice to me. I think most, I mean, it's gotten a little weird recently, but most of the time, I think people are very like, hey, sorry, I love your stuff. And then they run away. I love that. And I'm happy to take a picture or whatever, but I think just like what I mean by that is like, I don't know, it would be pretty jarring. A lot of these people who get famous, like, they did have some kind of preparation. They had, they grew up with money or they went to like a big fancy school or they like, they, they were around rich people at some point in their life. Like when you really come from like rural Ass Missouri and this shit just happens to you, totally cool, awesome privileged life wouldn't trade it. But it is like, I really feel for Chapel. I'm like, that is a fucking crazy experience. It's a very, very different, weird thing. And I'm just like, yeah, I wish people would give her a break. That being said, Chapel, Love You Girl, please tune out to this part. The memes about it are very funny. I can't escape the fact that the memes are funny. - Always good. - The memes are good. - The Zelda one is really good. (laughing) - The Zelda one. - It's like, it's the great fairy from N64, from Rock Green of Time, pulling Link's hair, like just found this. And she's like, she looks like Chapel. She's got red hair and all this like, trellis-y stuff in her. Yeah, and it's that, that made me laugh. - The memes are really funny. You also vote every once in a while. You will pop up on my phone, posting something that I have never heard about my, like you'll post like some kind of cartoon figure I've never seen in my life. And you'll be like, back at it with this bitch. And I'm like, I don't know what these little games are, but I want to come play with you. - Oh, yeah. - I want to come play your little games. - Please play. - I don't know them. - Come, come, come. - And I want to be involved. You have so many fun games. - This is, I'm really settling into this new life of just like, I can, maybe I just, I just, I'm a little concierge for people. - Maybe you should get on Twitch. - That's Hassan's, that's Hassan's domain. - Leave it to Hassan. Leave it to Hassan to be on Twitch. To be talking about politics too much. Leave it to Hassan to be too much. - That's too much. - About gay guys too much. I said this, I said this when I went on a show. He was talking so freely about gay men. I said, Hassan, you better fuck a man or hush it up. - This is what I would agree, and I would say absolutely first in line for that. - You want to fuck a son? - Oh, deeply. - Oh my goodness. - And can I say, I think all these people like coming for his son want to fuck him too. - I'm sure he's here. - Holy. - I like him. I like his son. I don't need to, no offense, brother. I don't need to fuck him. But I think if, I think if he wants to-- - I don't need to fuck him. I would just be first in line if there was an option. Like if there's going to be a sweepstakes. - I think if he wants to keep talking to the Austin, the little gay guy on his podcast. - If he wants to keep talking to Austin, crazy about gay stuff, he needs to fuck somebody. - Has he been talking crazy about gay stuff? - No, just like he'll be like, he'll be like, when I went on his show, he was like, Austin's a selfish top, and I was like, let's take a pause. - So what do you think that means? - Let's take a pause on that. - Let's take a pause on selfish, right? - Let's take a pause. I want to talk to everyone about what we think that means. - Okay, wait, straight. - Quote unquote, guys, and this is again, Hassan, I believe men. - Totally. - But like, straight guys are, they love to talk and bandy about our little terms, and multiple men at SNL, well-meaning, great guys would just randomly turn to me and be like, God, gay guys really have it figured out. You can fuck whoever you want. - They love this. - And I'm like, stop. - They love this. - That's not true. - Gay, straight guys love to, we do not have a figured out. I don't know if you've noticed. It's not going well for many of us. - No, yeah, no. - We personally, I'm chilling, but my straight guy buddies will love to tell me nothing more than like, they'll just really, in a moment, of like, weird introspection, we'll just be at lunch or something, and they'll be like, God, the way you guys can just get a blowjob on command. And I'm like, hey, no, true. (laughing) - Hey, what's going on? Your wife is in the bathroom, what is going on? Like it's really insane. - But do you know that's what I'm saying? - Hello. - It's like whenever I feel like there's - Why is the bathroom cheating? - Judgment towards our community. I'm like here's the thing, we're just so out loud and proud and exuberant about our mental illness and about like what's breaking us down and has us broken as a community and individuals wherein. But like the Straits are so like repressed about how about what they're bullshit that they end up doing duplicitous, mean nasty things to the people they love the most. Like they have not interrogated why they would make some of these choices because they haven't had shame. - Yes. - Are you guys doing monogamy? Can I ask that? How's monogamy working right now? - I'm not familiar. - Me and my boyfriend are distanced. So it's like. - Where's he live? - London. - Oh good. - But very abroad. Like. - Good God. - So it's kind of like, it's kind of one of those things where it's just like, you know, you figure it out. You're riding it out, but it is, you know, it's never easy. - Monogamy for you? Well, I don't know. This is what I'm thinking about. I was in an open relationship most of last year and I was always kind of making fun of open and I was like, oh, I don't really want to do that because I wasn't dating anyone. - Right. - And then it came down to date someone and I was like, oh God. Maybe they really, they're on to something over there. I can't be carrying on multiple relationships. That's not for Caleb. - No, no. - No, not that. - Open was fun. I don't know. There's some, look, I do get a little jealous. I'm not gonna lie to you. - Of. - Monog. - Of other people. - Oh, no. No, in open, I will say, like there are a lot of people that are open that are like, I love when my man comes home and tells me about this hot guy that he fucked and I'm like, not me. - Right. - I don't like it. It doesn't turn me on. I don't like it. I don't mind it knowing that I'm gone as much as I am and whatever, but Monogamy is coming up a lot lately and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on. - Is it coming up a lot? - In my head because I'm like, I want a family. I want a family. - Oh, you do, you do. - Eventually, yeah, I want kids. That's a big goal of my life and so I'm like, what am I going to be open with kid? Like I'm going to have a kid and be like, going out to see, I don't know. - I don't do it. - People do it. - I don't understand that, but people do do it. - I also, yeah, every once in a while, of course. I get swept away with the idea that I'm going to meet someone, yeah, I don't know. You guys ever get that idea that you're like, oh my god, I'm going to meet someone that makes it so easy and fun to just lock in forever. - It's total free. - Am I a total freak? Is that the craziest thing you've ever heard? - No, no, no. What if having kids is like the glue that makes the open work, that makes the open work or the monogwer? - Well, this is a great question. - That locks you in, yeah, what? And we'll never know. That's what I'm curious about. I don't know, but I'm just wondering about it all. - I feel like also another thing is like, I'm now 36 and I don't think I require or have the urges to be like thinking about being on the prowl in the way I was, like just monogamy in terms of energetically makes more sense, because I'm like, yeah, that sounds a lot easier and I don't have to deal with someone. You know what I mean? Nowadays it's kind of like, it's not like it was where I could just hop on a dick when I was 25. I'm just like, okay, what's going on? Yeah, I've had lunch and dinner, but is someone knocking? 'Cause I'll answer. Now it's like, okay, let me do the mental math here. Like, I don't know. - You guys are on Grindr. - I am having it. - I'm going on it again. And I am about to shut her again. I'm just like, there's nothing here. - Yeah. - Truly. - Also because, are you showing face on there? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm getting banned a lot. - So am I. - I get banned from Grindr. - You know (beep) - Yes. - Yes. - I have to text (beep) - Oh, that's so funny. - Who works at Grindr. - This poor sweet soul who has no business getting these nasty vile texts from me. (laughing) And I text him and I go, I'm an Oklahoma city I'm as horny as I've ever been and I've once again been banned from Grindr for impersonating Caleb here. Which, can I say that of the gay guys who impersonate, I have to imagine that Caleb Herron is not high on the list on Grindr. I don't feel like that makes a ton of sense. - I say the same thing to the guys who are like, you're cat fishing. I'm like, a femme Asian light. - You guys hate fat people on here. You hate Asian people on here. Like, no, I wouldn't pick Caleb, you know? I wouldn't pick like, that doesn't make sense. - No. - We wouldn't fat cabbage that way. - We wouldn't write. - I know who you catfish as when you do it. - It's never yours. - It's never me. - Yeah. - It's hot. - It's hot. - It's hot. - It's hot. - I got banned one time because I was in the Tampa area and they were like, we knew it couldn't be you. I was like, no, I'm just weird in here. - No, I just had to go to Tampa. - Like, actually, just sometimes come to Tampa. It's like a thing about me. If you had just sent me a message, we could have gotten into it. I would have told you all about my part-time Tampa life. - Yeah. I do have fun on Grindr. I am like regularly meeting people off of Grindr, I would say. But I'm very specific about it. And I'm very like, yeah, I don't think, it's not how it was when I was like 20. - I know. It's really? - When I was 20, I was like, I was like, who, I'll do anything. I was doing anon when I was 20. - What? - Wow. - I was meeting strangers without face pics when I was 20. - Great. - Yeah. - Can't be doing that anymore. - That's Chicago 20s, you're in your 20s, you're doing anon. - Say that. - Say that. - Say that. - I had like a, I had like a, like a really crazy six-week period on Grindr, when I was in my like 26, 27. I had a six, when I was seeing like, I was seeing like, I was just say like four or five guys a week. Like I was just like, I had discovered it. - Yeah. - And I was just like, I am honest. And I was like, I was having like a little sexual revolution in myself. I say it's a six-week period because it had to end. I got syphilis. - Of course, totally. - That's the bottle then. - The pirate STI. - That'll happen sometimes. - Yeah, an STI that we truly should not even be saying if it's not in a pirate sex. - I thought it was a joke. - I was like, yeah, syphilis. Oh, sure. - Yeah, it's just like, no one gets that. - Got it. - Matt, I heard a story about you on the way over here today. - What's the story? - My assistant, Michelle. - Yeah. - We're driving over here together. Shout out, Michelle, love you, girl. - Shout out. - So sorry about everything. I'm a nightmare to work for. She used to work at a restaurant in Brooklyn. - Uh-huh. - And I have to confront you. - What's the rest? Oh God, what happened? - I came in and she said you were not very nice. - I wasn't nice. - No, I'm kidding. She said you were a total sweetheart. (laughing) - God. - I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, he's the loveliest person on earth. - First of all, A, I am industry. And so I go in there and I'm like, I make sure that everyone knows that. - He's been on the other side. - I, I, I, by, when I say I'm industry, I mean, I'm restaurant industry for 10 years. Like I, but I was so shocked to that I was possibly capable of that. - I know. Well, no, I'm totally kidding. - What's the restaurant? Dinner party? - Okay, yeah. - Okay, yes, yes. - For somebody's birthday, yeah. - For somebody's birthday. - Said you were lovely. And I just thought that was really sweet. I was really scared because when she said I was like, oh my gosh, like I, I love Matt. I hope this is a good story. 'Cause I will say when I hear, when I hear like, somebody be like, oh, Renee Zellweger came into my coffee shop. I feel bad that Renee got the poll. But like any celebrity. - We only say her because she's no just lovely. - She's lovely, she's lovely. - But it's like, they'll say some random celebrity and they'll be like, oh, they were kind of rude to me. And I'm going, I don't really believe that or listen to that only because it's like so many times I'll hear someone say that. And I'm like, it sounds like they were just like, kind of in a rush and having a bad day. Like they didn't like dress you down in front of everyone or something. They were just like, I spent a lot of time. You know, and it's like, that's not mean. That's just being a person who has 20 things to do. So I wondered. And then it was that you were lovely. - Well, I'm happy that that ended the way it did. That story because I will tell you people acting crazy like that in restaurants. I can't abide by it. Bowen and I had a beautiful night at the Selco once. - Oh, really? Do you remember I faded nightbone? - Of course I do, but do we talk about it? Because I think it was the best case. I think things happened exactly how they should have. They were meant to. - Well, it was funny 'cause you were writing for SNL. - Mm-hmm. - And oh, the Z years ago. - This is 2019? - Yes. - This is my time. - After my first season, you were screen testing. - It wasn't your first, your first season right? - Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was screen testing for the show and I was like, I was like, Boeing, can we go out and get food after my thing? And we, Boeing took me to the Selco and I was like, I feel like I was like, you're gonna be on the show, right? - Did you tell me that? - I feel like we talked about it. - Yeah, and I was like, and even back then I was like, I don't know. I think like, I just literally was like, they would never put an Asian person on. - And I was like, they're not gonna put two gay guys on. - Right. - So I left that meal being like, Bowen's getting on the show and this was a fun exercise, but like, I'm not getting this job. And then that is what happened, but it was, it was so, you were so sweet and lovely to me. And I was nervous about the things. - I was terrible to the staff. - You were horrible to the staff, you've berated that. And then Matt came in just to be mean to them and left. Didn't even like, have a bite with us. Came in berated them left. - Yeah. - Awesome. - I made sure it was Michelle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Give Michelle out of here. Get out of here. - Fuck you. - Bring her in, get her out. But it was so lovely and sweet. - That was nice. - That was Chicago days. What was the year, what was the year post that you defected from Chicago? - Chicago. - I left Chicago if you can possibly believe it in May of 2020 to move to Los Angeles. - Well, at that time, that was kind of, that was the time. - That was the time. - 'Cause LA was a, quote unquote nicer place to be at that time. - Totally nicer, you could be inside. And I was driving for Uber Eats at the time. I had no job. I quit my job to do comedy full time in January of 2020. - Right. - I'll have a laugh. And I thought I thought things were on the up and then COVID happened, nothing happened. I was making no money. So I was driving for Uber and I was like, I'd rather be driving for Uber with the windows down. While people were dying left and right all winter. I was like, let me get out there. So I moved to LA, then love. - Yeah. - I mean, it's all like, we're just little paths diverging in wood and then meaning back up again. - Isn't it so cute though? Like guys, we've been doing this for a minute. - And that, it's now at the point where it's just like, oh, how long have I known Bowen the answer is 17 years? - Jesus Christ. That's crazy. - It's gonna be, - That's gonna be half our life soon. - That feels crazy just to quantify your adult life is. - Met you in 2008, so we ran up and say 18? - Technically, technically. - And a couple of years you guys will have had more of life knowing each other than you did before you knew each other. - Yeah, you know what I mean? - That's where I am with New York City where I'm like, I've spent most of my life here. It's the only place I've been an adult in. Am I robbing myself of something? - Don't know. - How do you mean? - By saying, "Oh, I haven't lived anywhere else." - But he knows where he's going when everything goes down. - Where are you going? - Ontario. - Really? - Why is that? - Lake Mescoka. - Just lakes, there's no, there's no, there's, if you look at all the map overlays, it's like no wildfires, no tornadoes, no earthquakes, no floods. - He's got his like, trepour. - It's interesting that we all gotta be preppers. - No, it's interesting that it is because you talk to people and you gotta realize some people in your life have fully prepped. Like we are, our friends who's a couple, I was over there at their apartment like a few months ago and they go, "Yeah, we're both getting guns." And I'm like, "What?" And they go, "Well, when the grid goes down, we both need a gun, 'cause in case one of us goes." - Yeah. - I was like, "Excuse me?" They were like, "Yeah, well, if one of us goes, if one of us goes down, you need someone to cover." I was like, "You guys have really thought about. " - What are these people with these lesbians? - Yeah, guys. - See, it's the lesbians that are doing it to me and I heard something even more concerning recently. I was like, "More concerning than gun if you can believe it." I was like, "A lesbians house recently." They told me that they said, "Yeah, several of us just got walkie talkies." - I said, "I'm not paying attention to them." - No. - Very clearly, I'm not tapped into what you're saying. - For their compound that they're already like. - I said walkie talkies. - If it comes walkie talkie time, give me the gun. - If it comes walkie talkie time. - I'm not giving me the gun. - Well, I go like, "If the grid goes down, I'm out." - I'm sorry, I'm killing myself. I'm not doing walkie talkies. - I am not doing walkies. I'm not doing generators. I'm not, 'cause then what, we're camping. And I hate that. - I'm not camping. - My love, when my wifi goes out, I almost jump out a window. I'm not surviving when the grid goes down. - Not at all. The things I find the space in my heart and soul to complain about my current present life. - Yeah. - You wouldn't want to see me. Also, it can't be that those things are called walkie talkies as the technical term. - No, no. - There's gotta be a more technical term, right? - Whatever it is, when the grid goes down to those nails, bye-bye. - No. - God, don't do close-ups on them. It's really embarrassing. - I'm not doing walkie talkies, I'm not doing survivalist stuff. I will come to the lake with you for a little bit, if I can still drive, but if the grid goes down, I know. - I'm not doing it. One of my friends drew a map, drew a hand drawn map. - Hot. - My guess of how to get from New York to this piece of land that their family owns in Pennsylvania, in case we need to escape. I said, yeah, I'm just not, I'm obviously not reading the things you guys are reading. I'm not, I can't be involved in it. - We're running different races. - Yeah. - Like, you're trying to fight with people. I'm like, again, fighting with my microwave to work. - Yeah. - I'm like, what's going on? - I'm a different child. - Oh, the whole grid is fully working better than ever. - Yeah. - And I'm barely survived. - The grid is up. - Yeah. - And I'm barely getting by. - I mean, in theory, it's Ontario for me, but it's like, who know, like at that point, I just, I just hope I'm there when shit goes down. - Yeah. - Which is so unlikely. - Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. - Oh my god, Lexi, we have a new podcast. I'm Lexi Iwano, where two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. - I'm not getting any of you, I'm fighting. - That is wild. - Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. - We're gonna talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. - We're best friends, but we don't always agree. - Because you told us how accommodating you are. - Obviously I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Liar. - Listen on the iHeartRadio app. - Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care. - I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up, comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. Each week I bring on incredible guests, like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Deppery, Lamor and Morris and Nicole Byer. - Ooh, I scammed them. - What? - I could talk to you for an hour. - You're a generational yapper, like me. - That's why I had to make yapping a job. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to scam goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. ♪ Scam goddess ♪ - Hi, this is highly-breakman, Angel Jaretana. - Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. - And we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast. - The improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. - Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. - What I try to do is foe journal. I don't know, I think I sort of foe journaling. - Yeah, it's reading, it's called reading. - Yeah, so we don't like to use that word anymore. - Okay. - A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. - Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? - No! - I've been dying too. - I'm so sorry, I'm seeing a reading of Sadako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audrement Donald at the Wonderland bookstore, '14. - That's crazy, I went to the Wonderland bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. - No way. - Patrick of the last bookstore, though. Kim Catrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. - A panel of Eurovision participants. - And we do a little Halloween sometimes. - Does the Pope dress up? - He winks on Halloween. - He gets right up next to the microphone. - I hear he'll get the elbows here. The eyelashes hate each other. - You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. - Listen to artists on artists on artists, on the IHIRD radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin. - And we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast, I know. How are you gonna get to us? Well, there's a specific reason why you should listen to us. - We are the best podcast in the entire world. I swear. - I know, bold. - And how nice they were, or if we tip them or not, come and find out. It's the one you're thinking about, trust me. Or maybe we'll talk about music and what's happening in the underground or drama and music or TV shows or the Med Gala and what the actors wore. And if you wanna see what that's like, come join us. It's a place where everyone can hang out, anyone, wherever you're from, whatever you're like, you're welcome. Listen Out of Character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. - What do you guys want out of your life? Can I ask you an earnest question? - Yes. - We think gay guy, we've been vulnerable. What else can we be, earnest? - I think we can be all sorts of things. That's really what this podcast has. - What do you guys really want? - What do I really want? You know what? - What's the point of this? - I think I would like to, I think I'd like my life and I like the way it's developing and I want it to continue. But I stopped, like I said, the other day I was like, I don't really believe anymore in making plans after like six months, like six months ahead. It's like, I can see my schedule and I can see what I'm doing for a few months. But like, I couldn't wrap my head around a five-year plan or a grand plan for my life because I feel like that would weirdly be limiting. I'm like open to things 'cause I've surprised myself so far, I think. And then in terms of like, you know, the romantic stuff and like all of that. Like I think that right now I'm in the mode of like, I just want to follow good feelings and what is meant to be will be. - Yeah. - But I can't, I don't know, I can't, I can't, it's not that I can't make goals anymore. It's just that like, I don't think it would be useful for me. I'm just kind of like, let's just see. - Like everybody's feeling that way. - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't think anyone can see the future. Which is a real, I don't know if that's new or if that's like always been kind of happening or what, but I really don't think so many people living right now that are like, our age are younger, are really thinking 20 years from now and going like, I know what that'll look like. - Because this is the first time in society, someone was saying this on like, Al Jazeer or something, this is the first time in society where we are mourning the future in advance. - Right, that was pretty scary. - We're not, this is the first time as a people that were like, oh, 20 years from now, well, that's so uncertain that like, I can't, and that puts you in a crazy existential funk where you're like, what the fuck am I supposed to do now? If like, there's nothing to reap like in 20 years. - I just watched this incredible documentary called "Join or Die." Have y'all seen this? - "Join or Die." - "Join or Die?" Has anyone heard of this? - Let's join or die. - It's so wonderful. This guy, and I don't remember anyone's names from it. Sorry. But this researcher research for a long time like governments and societies and little different like regions and I think mostly in Italy at first and then he came back to the states, he's from the states. He basically did research on like what makes people feel cohesive, like what is the basis of community, like what makes rich community where people feel bad into their democracies and like what is that thing and he basically started charting it with like involvement in social groups like Kiwanis or the Elkslag or Choirs or like Choral Groups or you know these things that we used to have so many social clubs like the women's suffrage movement started out like a women's social club and like many of like W.A.B. de Boise's like speeches came out like social clubs like places where people gathered to be like part of like societies and things like that space is exactly but the as as like mistrust in the government and like disenchantment with democracy has gone up and like a pretty straight line inversely association with like groups has gone down and I was so fascinated by this. It's a really good documentary, it's a Netflix shout out you guys, shout out, you doing great things, love y'all and all the streamers and all the streamers by the way, I just love you guys, I hope everything streams forever and it will and stop sending movies to theaters by the way and it was really really good though it was it was really fascinating and I was like oh yeah we're really not in groups anymore. Because and like the perfect sort of recipe for whatever like little manipulative things is like there's there's no reason like we're less and less motivated to go and seek out these spaces and clubs and stuff because we're on our phones and also there's not there's no real belief I think on the on a mascot just was reading maybe yesterday morning about this town I think it was in Oklahoma that their city council and their mayor, you're obsessed with Oklahoma by the love of Oklahoma can't get enough of it, yeah, cannot get enough of it. Shout out to Oklahoma. Um, Oklahoma readers, what are your other ones Katie, Katie? Oh yeah, Oklahoma, yeah, I can't do it right now, but I was reading something that this town they like approved a giant like AI data center, the city council and the town like got together and like marched into city hall and turned in like a fully signed petition to have all of them recalled everyone on city council and the mayor entirely put up for like a recall vote immediately and it was like the surge of like they do not want this fucking business center. They're being sold out by their officials, but it's you need, it needs to be on that kind of scale for people to believe that we can affect change because we can, it just needs to be scaled down to where it's like manageable to take bites, yeah, like somebody was saying like the other day, it's like even with the, the protests like I feel like we were often hearing like this was the largest protest in history or like this was the biggest day. Like it still feels like when you zoom out and look at what's happening in the world, like they're, I understand that thought of like, okay, well, how many times have we heard that and yet it feels like the world is getting worse and worse and worse. But then when you think of community on a small scale, it's very easy for me to think about like people walking into a town hall and like making change because people would be forced to listen. I think what's like so shitty is it's like it doesn't matter anymore how large like a voice we are saying we don't want something we're so separated from the people that can make change and make power and they're so siloed off from us that it's like totally fruitless. Yesterday, they did, they did like attack the Australian, the Bronx and someone was like, it was great. Like it was just like people who already know this but like, yeah, but what they were like so like, I don't know, like it felt like interesting like it, we weren't sure like where this is all going. Oh, the fact that you guys even like gathered is kind of like the win, right? It's like what you're saying. It's like these movements start out of literal like biomass, like living, breathing creatures like coming together for whatever reason. Yeah, I'm really have two minds about it because I feel also that I had this conversation with a lot of friends after like 2016 because it was a very funny experience for me as someone who had lived my whole life up into that point in Missouri that so many of my friends on the coasts for the first time were being like, we got to pay attention to the middle of the country. I was like, oh, were you guys not? I was like, oh, I was. And so that was really interesting to me. I learned a lot from that moment. And then I have this kind of feeling that I'm like, something is going to have to give eventually with the fact that like so many people like leftist, like good-hearted people who really want a brighter future for all of us. We say that things are so dire right now and we say that like this is really as bad as it can get. It is so existential. And then the truth is that if a bunch of us moved to other places and started like having hard conversations, I think we have the winning argument. I think good people who want a better future that is not controlled by a handful of billionaires actually have the winning argument. And a lot of working people who don't vote the way we think maybe they should agree with us. Yeah. If it's so existential, a bunch of us are going to have to move to places like Ohio and get to work. And we're not doing that. And so that's okay, but we're going to have to like eventually do something about the cognitive dissonance of the statement that things are existentially dire and we have to make take drastic measures. And then also nobody wants to move to West Virginia. The thing is though, I feel like yes, it's okay that people don't do that. But if that's not going to be the case, if we're not going to engage with them in like a real way like that, then we have to at least I think make sure we're not siling, siloing off in a media way. Right. I really want, and this was almost and I don't think so, honey, for me, but it's not. But what I really want is for Democrats to start being who Republicans say they are. Yeah. Republicans keep saying that Democrats are these like transgender leftist radicals who want to like destroy the billionaire class. And then you cut to Chuck Schumer, and it's like he's not on estrogen, he's not sucking dick. He's not doing anything for working people. But there's just nothing. And then their whole pitch, I got to do some whole pitch is like, hey, I'm not so different from the Republicans. And it's like, well, bitch, can you be? Can somebody be? What does is? Does anyone have any interest in being different than these fucking creatins? Like, yeah, it makes me feel fucking crazy because you look at a place like Missouri where Trump wins by, you know, 14, 15, 20 points, whatever. And then abortion, they pass the strictest abortion being in the country and then they put it up for a referendum and the people vote it down by three points. So that's a 20 plus point swing between Trump winning and a very contentious, progressive issue winning on with the same voters. Same thing with legalized marijuana, same thing with raising the minimum wage and giving people paid sick leave, all very leftist ideas. They're winning on the same ballots that Trump is winning. So we very clearly have a candidate problem. Yes. The solution was people like Gavin Newsom coming in with like a slick haircut and not wearing a tie. So we think he's regular. Yeah. Spare me. Coming in and parroting the same things they're talking about, we've already had that choice. We've already had that choice and it didn't work. So I just feel crazy all the time. I feel fucking crazy. I mean, I was watching something yesterday about like, well, it looks like Kamala Harris is running again. And so that means that her and Gavin Newsom will be at the top of at the top of the polls. And I'm like, well, that just sounds like a lot of wasted time. Guys, why? Because let's run someone crazy. Let's run someone. Let's run a fucking like kooky leftist art teacher from like Middlebury, Ohio. Let's run someone nuts. Let's just go crazy with it. I just don't think, I'm sorry, but I just don't think Kamala and Gavin are going to do it. No. I mean, it's just never going to happen. Because it just goes back to the thing of what people didn't like, I think holistically, was that he was the type of like, you can even tell in the way he does his hair and the way he talks. He says things like we need to be more culturally normal. And that's going to like fix our problems. I'm like, what exactly do you mean by that? He is like so slightly or he thinks he's so slightly homophobic, meanwhile, it just is homophobia. Also, any, any Republican with any level of like, acumen is going to destroy him on that culturally normal shit. I know he thinks he's courting middle voters. But brother, you grew up rich in California. Yeah. Your culturally normal thing is not going to fly in a in the middle of the country. Like it doesn't fly with me. I'm like, culturally normal. I don't feel anything like you. And it's not because I love trans people, I do. But it's like, I don't feel related to you at all because you're like a slick career politician who you want to be president so bad that I'm like, ew, ew, I hate it. That being said, I think if gay guys with podcasts were president, this country would be all such a good place. Yeah. God. But he's always, you know, I'm confident we can do it. I think we can do it. That's how we make a great team. Rodgers, Aaron, looks good on a loan Supreme Court, you would be incredible in the Supreme Court. You would be incredible on the Supreme Court. Yeah. I. You in that robe. I was going to say thank you. Thank you. Why'd you want to push back so bad though? No, no, no, I was just thinking I was like, uh, because he wants to move to Canada. I want him to Canada. I don't want, I don't want any of this. You have to think of culturally normal. Oh my god. Wait, we haven't asked him. How many of us kill of the question, which is how did you become culturally you? Um. Kill him, Aaron. What was the culture that made you say culture was for you? Okay, let me ask you, is this supposed to be one thing? No, it can be anything. It can be like, it can be Missouri, it can be like a movie, a show, a song, a singer, it can be any. Yes. Okay, I have so many things to say. But, um, wide open spaces, album by the chicks. Wide open spaces. The album by the chicks. Yes, yes. Formerly Dixie. Formerly Dixie. We're not doing that anymore. The album has everything. It has, it has your mom and your aunt, Scream singing along in the car. It has heartbreak. It has killing a man who cheated on you. Yeah. Sorry, abused you. Yeah, it has. He probably cheated too. It has, it has, it has fun dance tunes. It has fiddle. Wide open spaces by the chicks is one of the greatest pieces of art we have ever seen in this country. Thank you. Thank you. And it really is what the American project was all leading to. Since then, who knows what happened? Why don't one space is by the chicks? God, I love those ladies. - Yeah, the American project ended and failed when the whole fucking thing happens. - Yes, when they got in trouble, by the way, most people don't even remember this, when the chicks got in trouble. - They were right, not only were they right, but they didn't even say anything that crazy. It was one concert in Paris or London. We're in Natalie. - Yes, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're in Natalie says, "We just want you out at Yaldano, "we're on the good side with you. "We are ashamed of this war, "and we're ashamed of the President of United States "is from Texas." - Oh, that's a fucking softball. I've said crazy or things like that is insane. They were right and they should be, "Oh, God, I love them so much, I could cry. "I love them, they're so special." And Natalie Mainz is so principled and so talented, and I love her. - Yeah, I love them. - I love that. - And you know what's crazy is it's like, the gas lighter album? - So good. - Which I also love, which was their most recent album. Like I hated that it got tougher for her. - Yeah. - Because her fucking husband, the guy Adrian Pazdar from Heroes, which was such a disappointment as a hero's fan, that he was such like a, you know, what is it, tights on my boat? - Yes, there's no that. - Like that was so disappointing. I'm like, wow, this woman couldn't even catch a fucking break in person. - Brought her backstage at the Hollywood Bowl? - Yeah, it's disgusting. - Adrian Pazdar, it is on-site, brother. It's really on-site. - If I see you in the streets, we need to have minimum a strongly worded conversation. - Maximum glove up. Let's boss. - He's not on the streets anymore. - He's just scared. - He's just scared. - No, there's no way. - But White Open Space is this, when did you encounter this album? - White Open Space's came out in the late 90s, so I was very young. I mean, most of my early, my mom is like my biggest inspiration in the world and like pretty much everything good about me is because of my mom. And most of my like music taste comes from my mom like blurring songs in the car and us like driving somewhere. I mean, we just always had to go somewhere. Like we always had to go like, she was always rushing to get to work and drop us off at the babysitter or like we had to go to like, they just feels like we were always driving 'cause we were. And yeah, I just, she would play, I feel like I really came to understand when I got a little bit older, that like country music by women at that time was really giving framework for a bunch of women who didn't have like a formal education, giving them a framework for feminism. And it's like they were sitting around chatting like that, but it was the feeling of like, I never saw the women in my life so alive as when they were listening to the chicks and Shania Twain and Jody Martina and Martina McBride, Faith Hill. Like the list goes on and on and on. And we in Womack, like it just really, yeah, it made them light up in a way. And I think it's because it was like music for them about their lives that was so empowering. And so I really fell in love with that music because I saw all the women in my life like come alive to it. Yeah. And yeah, the women in my life were always just genuinely for the most part funny year and like more vibrant and interesting than the men who were talking over them. And the talking over women thing has become like kind of like, it got like beat over the head nauseatingly, I feel like to a point. But there really when I was growing up was like these women couldn't get a word in edgewise and they were funny or in smarter. And that drove me fucking insane. And yeah, seeing them like listening to like the chicks and singing along, I just felt that there was something going on that was like very special. And I fell in love with it because it was just the best feeling in the world. See, and I also wonder in the aftermath of all that happening, how frustrating that must have been for women who probably were being told by their husbands. Like we don't fucking like them anymore. Like we're burning their albums and doing the CDs and like how shitty it must have felt. Yeah, I also feel like I don't want to make sure that when I say that there wasn't a formal education around feminism, the women in my life were feminist in ways that people who have only studied in the classroom could never, like their feminism was still important in real and powerful. They were taking stances and making swings and stuff. I just mean like-- Formally. Formally. There wasn't this thing that I experienced when I went to college where a bunch of people were sitting around talking about ideas and being like, this is why this should be this way. And like this is an example of this. Like it was more just this lived experience of like, yeah, these shitty annoying men. Yeah. Like ruining your life at every turn. And you just kind of having like, I think like, yeah, I don't want to be-- there are many women I have known in my life that have had to stay with a man because they just could not afford to live with them. And the things you have to put up with to be in that situation, yeah, the one of the only times I saw them feel really like-- liberating up was when they were listening to this kind of-- Because they were-- It is liberating music. Yeah, they were telling stories of like what it might be like to like, I think that's-- there's a catharsis in being like, what if we just killed them? Like, there's like, that's why I love that music is like, you live in a different world for three and a half minutes. And like, for three and a half minutes, people were living in a world where it was like, you know, I could thoughtically had this experience in listening to this song where I fucking killed my husband with my best friend. Or I got, I got, I helped my friend that I'm seeing struggle out of a situation. It didn't actually happen. But it could thoughtically and like, you know, metaphorically-- Someone in the lead-- Right, but it's like, the thing in my music is that it is accessible. Yeah. You don't have to like, at the time, you don't have to like, pop them in the lead in the VCR and like, watch a story or a parable portraying like, feminine power in this way. You can just like, turn it on in the radio or you could like, pop the CD in the cars, you're driving as it's like in the weather of your life. Like, like, just is in the climate of your life. Yeah. Like, that's the tricks are fucking major. I'm, I'm, I need to go back and really give White Open Space is like a full list, like, track to track listing, 'cause I always go to fly. Fly is my-- Travel on them. Incredible on them. But White Open Space is your right. Like, that is like, just the three of them on that cover. Just like, light on their feet. Well, that was like, that end fly, where like the, White Open Space is in that where like the peak, commercial peak, peak. Yeah, and the music was great. Yeah, but not, but also I'm, but not ready to make nice was also, but what was, oh, I can't take the long way. That is just like, that's the album of the year when where you're like, fuck yes. Yes. At least that was like the only bit, like the vindication that we could have hoped for at the time. Now I think long term it's like, of course, we're all like on the same page about the chicks. It's unfortunate what happened to them. But like, them winning the album of the year for taking the long way and I thought Gaslighter was like, I loved Gaslighter. I was like, I feel commercially it did well, right? I think so. It was deep in the pandemic, where it came out. I don't know how much it was like. Yeah, I don't know. I remember I would listen to it constantly when I came out. I loved them. How do you sleep in night? Oh my god. That music video's great too. In Texas, man. Oh my god. I could, oh yeah. Yeah. Also, another one, did you guys ever see, I'm always evangelizing about this? Did you guys ever see Monique's Queens of Comedy set? Yes. This set changed my life. Wait, and also did you, I'm sure you've seen the one where she went to the Women's Prison? Yeah, no, I don't. Oh, there's, she has such an incredible set and a Women's Prison, where she goes and it was just, they were living for her and I was just like, people don't talk about her talent as a standup. They don't talk about her talent across the board enough anyway. They disrespect her at every turn. Every turn. She's been ahead of it at every turn with you. But relationship's up with like, I'm not shaving my fucking legs. Hello. I'm not painting for an Oscar. Yes. I'm not doing this shit that you're telling me to do. Yeah. Monique is everything. Her Queens of Comedy set was one of the first times. I mean, I grew up in such a like, fatness was either like a bad thing or a joke. Like, best case being fat was a joke. Worst case in more normal was it was like this horrific thing to be like, oh my gosh, if you were ever, if anyone was fat, it was like they were dying to change it. It was really seeped into like my personhood. And Monique was genuinely the first time she opens that Queens of Comedy set. She came out and like, she was a big fat woman at the time. And she came out in this like leatherette, like sexy, slinky little thing. And she walked out and she was like every fat bitch in this room should be on their feet clapping for me right now. Yeah. She was like skinny bitches don't have what it takes. Yeah. Like it just like, the fat would it take. Just stay just don't. She just like went in and I had never seen a fat person like own a room like that. Yeah. And it was genuinely one of the first times that I was like, oh, maybe I don't have to hate myself. Like maybe there is a reality where I can just like myself and feel confident. And I owe so much of my like six, like any success I have or any like confidence I have on stage. I genuinely owe at least in part to watching that set for the first 100%. It's so good. If you're listening to this, readers, publicists, I'll be home to publicists. I'm coming to you now. If you have not seen this set, go watch it. It's really fucking amazing. Also like that set 100% and then this prison set I'm referencing, I'll never forget one of the bits in any early standup I watched at that time that stuck with me was hers from that prison set. It was her reckoning with homophobia. And I remember at the time, the homophobia that she was feeling, and I remember at the time I was probably like 14, 15, 16 years old. So hyper aware of when someone was being homophobic, especially in a standup comedy set because I really wanted, I respected the art form and knew I wanted to do it someday or something like it. And she went on this run about how like she was pretty sure that one of her sons had a gay friend. And she was like, and this gay kid's coming over and I'm like, what the fuck? And then she did this run about how like her son looked at her and was like, what do you care if he's gay? He's a good person and like I love him and like it's not a big deal. And she was like relating it to how she knew a lot of the women in the audience were lesbian. She's like, who here's gay? And there was like, yeah. And it was just like this way to reckon with this ugly thing about her that she recognized was a part of like the fabric of what she thought at the time, but like was she was working through it in a real way that didn't feel icky as an audience member or it didn't make me feel shitty as a little gay boy watching it. I was just like, this is how you, I think, you know, walk through through like a phobia that you had and maybe this could be a note that, you know, every iconic male, straight comedian that's, you know, aged up now could take. But it was just more interesting for her to unpack what she needed to unpack than to be like, this is what I don't get. This is what I don't get. It was just, it was more developed in your right, I think is because it was her womanhood that was allowing her that lens. She actually gave permission, she really gave so many people permission to be themselves. Yeah. Genuinely. I love her so much. And she gave us the iconic quote, the Horde jumped out. The Horde jumped out. Your behavior was Horde like, Horde like, and the Horde jumped out. And jump back in. And Charm School was, we owe, we owe so much to Monique on Charm School, and it's not even like top 10 of what we owe her thank you for, but God damn, she was so good. But God damn, she was so good on Charm School. That's why there's no rules. Because it was after Charm School that she won the Academy Award. That's why I say there's no rules in entertainment. You can do anything as long as you're good enough, because Monique like hosted Charm School, and then after that won the most prestigious award. Within like three years after Charm School won. And deservedly so. By the way, didn't do the whole campaign bullshit. Yeah, no. Just completely annihilated any job she's ever been given in a way that is also singular and memorable and real star quality because there's not another Monique. No. There's not another Monique. In so many different ways, there's not her like vocal delivery, her cadence, her like her point of view, her bravery, her courage, her choices artistically. There's just not, she just doesn't get the credit. And she played a horny inappropriate freaky legend on the parkers, and we have to thank her for that. She was chasing that man down the halls. It was inappropriate, but really funny and I love her so much. I would also say one of one of the top 10 things that I think we do over four is in beer fest when she was, when she said, I'm a break your dick off, when she was riding someone clean us. I'll never forget the beer in her performance in beer fest. And you can, it's supporting actress nomination was deserved for Beer Fest as well. A film that I'll remind you exists. Beer Fest. When did that come out? And it had to be 2006 or 2007 because the peer pressure that I must have felt to go so much. Beer Fest. Beer Fest. And only be described. If I was there, it had to be during a time where it was socially advantageous for me to attend the film. And so. And if I was seeing Beer Fest that I slip movie theater and must have been 2006. These are phenomenal answers, Kayla. Really? I can go on and on and on. Yeah, these are, those are two that really stick out to me. Also the movie "Miscongeniality." Of course. Of course. If you give some favorite elements of the film. Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock is, once again, one of the best things that we have to offer the world as human beings and in the universe really. I would hold her. I would put her in a very small class of people that we should show to the, we should give her work to the aliens to say this is what we can do on the discovery. Yeah. This is what a movie star is. Bring that back. I mean, she really is so. There are a million, million moments. But really, I was rewatching it recently. And one of the moments of "Sacatch Me" has been she's on the plane, okay? She's going to get her makeover and she's watching the videos of like the Queens. Yeah. Like she's trying to learn how to give an acceptance speech and she's like, she's like really going for it. Yeah. Yeah. I just was like, God, to be as like, charming and genuinely good at acting and also fucking DNA funny as she is. Yeah. Many people think they have it and they judge. And they judge, I will never forget the way she says when Benjamin Brad brings like his like hot new girl to like the bar and she's eating ice cream. He's like, I'll take a gin and tonne and she'll have and then Sandra goes milk, milk. So good. So many people. Yeah. We just don't have an acceptance speech. Schattener, Kenny Bergen. Oh, Candace Bergen is so fast. We can't as Bergen stands up and the crown is perfectly on top of the head. Yep. Yep. The direction of the film. We're not directing films anymore. No, we're not. The crown should be placed. Yeah. Honestly, that was good. And I also like Benjamin Brad. He was an iconocodia of the time. Michael Cain, legendary performance. So good. He says me. He says me. He says me. He says, the year we lost, the girl was a deaf mute. You can't be a deaf. You can't be a deaf. So funny. Please. This woman has no talent. Legend. Legend. You desist. Disassist. So good. That movie is amazing. It's amazing. It's incredible. I just had, oh God, I just took the flight back from Thailand and they had like Sandra Bullock's entire discography. Thank God. And I did, I did choose to watch discography by the way. Her sound. Her unique sound. Oh, imagine she had like, she was famous at one point where she could have been like, I'm doing music. Yeah. Remember when Reese with a spoon flutter with that after walked the line? They were like, well, you know she, she's so good in the line. But they were like, maybe she'll release an album and I believe that that was like flutter with for a second, but no. Because this is the hour when ScarJo was coming out with music, like the girls were, the girls of that ilk were coming out with, with, with song. It happened for me. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Have you heard her song, burial? No. Sorry. So mother Mary, she's done a song with Charlie XCX, Jack Antonov, and I believe she co-wrote on it. Yes. Oh my god. It's cool. And like sort of Gaga, Charlie XCX pop star and her other movie coming out next month. Yeah. It's called Mother Mary with Mikaela Cole, where she plays like, it's like, it's like a sapphic, like pop stars, like sort of like weird, freaky, deaky little. And by the way, talk about another person that we should just give up to the aliens to show what we're capable of. And half the land. And half the land. And performance in, of course, everything. But we can, we do not talk enough. Richard, are you married? About what's that now? I think I'm getting married. Okay. But let me, let me raise you this. Her performance in, Brookpack Mountain. Oh, please. Her on the phone when she just goes, she just makes a little noise. Hello. It's called acting and we don't see it enough anymore. No. She's so goddamn good in that movie. She's so fucking good in it. She's incredible. Everyone else got all the air, but like, and I also appreciate that movie for what it did for Michelle Williams. Yes. And she deserved that. Yes. But Anne got lost in the conversation and she was giving a great blonde performance. Yes. She was phenomenal. Yeah. She was phenomenal in that movie. And I, yeah, she really is. What was the one you were saying? Rachel got married. Rachel got married. I haven't seen it. Crashed the car. Oh, I'm just going to love Rachel getting married. I'm going to watch her out of it. She's like, in recent interviews, it's been like, I, like, they asked her like, what's like an under sung role of yours? She's like, I'm really proud of Rachel getting married. And as she should be. I'm going to watch it. I got to say too. I did recently watch, rewatched the clip of I Dream to Dream and you forget she did it in one take. Yep. It was done live in one take right there in her face and you, you think like, because lame is kind of when you look back at it, people are like, oh, if he about like the, the very close-up singing and sort of the way it was done, she killed it really singing and using her voice and acting it in a way that was. Revolutionary. She's not fucking around. Can you tell us about the big film? That was part of two. Yeah. Do you know what is so funny, you guys? I had kind of like sworn off auditioning for the moment when that audition came through. I was like, I'm not really auditioning right now, I'm really tired of like going out for stuff. Yeah. And and just kind of like not really, I felt like I was self-taping all the time. We all go through arrows like that where it's like I'm self-taping constantly. The things I end up getting are from a friend anyway. Right. I just was like, I can't do it for a moment. I need some space to breathe. And then this one came through and I literally in my head was like, if someone asked me to put $5,000 down on if I would get it or if one of you or like Benny Skinner would get it, I almost did not audition because I was like, this is so one of those guys. Like I was like, they are good. This is like a map bow and Benny and I taped for it anyway and it was so fucking fun. It was so cool. And I, I, by the way, someone should put us in Benny and I'm going to be the four of us. Please. Well, we'll write it. Hello. Someone write down that we have to write that. Someone take a note. Someone write this phone. Can someone just write that down? But it was so fun. It was a crazy to be a part of and Ann is so, like I most, I think Disney people will tell us if I'm allowed to say this or not, but most of my stuff is with Ann in the movie and she's so phenomenal. I think the Disney adults would tell you. Disney adults will let me know. Disney adults will let me know what I'm allowed to say. You can see it. Anything's possible. I don't, I don't. They're wearing that. Um, I almost wore a Mickey waffle sweater today. You and Ann, most of your stuff is with Ann. She's so lovely. Yes. She's so lovely. I, I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her until the film, warmest, loveliest, most energetic. Like, really made me go inward about how much energy I bring to work. Like, I was like, I need to step up. Like, if Ann hathaway is as busy as she is and she's bringing this level of like, I think I'm a warm, energetic person, but she was bringing it to the point where I literally at one point was like, Ann, I just have to say like the level of energy you bring every day is psychotic. I do not know how you're doing it. Like, I'm so in awe and I'm like, how do you find the energy and she's like, I just tell myself that I have it. And I'm like, you are on another level than me when I tell you she's going before shots, she's going into like what's supposed to be her office and being like, hey, guys, can we talk really quick? Like, can we collab? Like, I think this vase would be different for her. And can we move this over? Like, a true fucking artist and not in an annoying way in a way that's like genuinely respectful of everyone's craft, like, knew what everyone did. Like, yeah, I just was very her and Merrill and Stan, like all of them. watching them work I was just like wow this is really I knew it would be cool because I'm a huge fan and I like watched the original as like a closeted 11-year-old boy in Missouri and like it yeah I could cry like it was just so sweet and cool but she was she was a delight and such a true talent it's crazy a true pure talent going from like conversing like this to being like all right and speeding and then just fucking into it acting like I don't know it feels sometimes silly to compliment people on the things that are like yeah they snap right into character and they knew all their lines but it's like she's so busy and she's operating at such a high level on and off the camera I yeah I'm I'm a huge fan and I'm very inspired by her oh my god that's not no this is this is so worth talking about like yes we're talking about someone who's like acclaimed at their craft but it's like it's important to talk to like kind of pop up in the hood for other people and just for us like among amongst ourselves amongst friends it's like oh because then it like gives it a reason for being that it like motivates like if we're lucky enough to like be in front of the camera again in that capacity then like yeah like you're inspiring my ass to be like oh yeah you can be like collaborative in that sense and like way in because I am so used to like the pecking order of the call sheet or whatever and I'm like okay like I'm not I'm not like number one here let me like let everybody else make the decisions for me but it's like but I'm just saying like please talk about this stuff yeah it's really inspiring I'm like very I fucking love acting so much and getting to watch people do it at that level and people who have like or look if if if in half the way or a male street or Stanley Tucci wanted to be nightmares on that set yeah they could totally get away with it and people do and they just opt not to and I feel like yeah I just feel very inspired by that and it makes me even more frustrated with the people who show up late and don't know their lines and things that I'm like look if in half the way can show up on time be kind to everyone in a fucking 20 mile radius and like genuinely give warmth and attention to everyone and know her lines and kill the performance and care I'm like you we you can do it too you know what I mean I'm and I'm mostly talking about men but yeah I just am so inspired by her work ethic and yeah being part of the movie too is really fucking cool so excited you know what's kind of what movie to is kind of like it feels like there's like a reassessment of it happening is interstellar hmm it feels like it keeps coming up yeah and like over the past like six months or so I keep hearing people being like actually have you watched that because it's great and she's one of the best parts of it where she's she has that I remember she is that rant when you first watch it's like a very random where they're like banging their heads against the wall but how they figure out like the time space continuum or whatever and half the way is like the only woman in America who could sell this but she's like her eyes well with tears she's wearing that like pixie cut she's like what if love is the answer wake it up and I'm like I like on the page I'm like huh and then I'm like what and like I'm full sobbing I'm like what if it's love yeah what kind of was love by the way the alert it was love he's in that little library yeah I'm supporting yeah yeah yeah yeah crazy fucking movie it's a crazy so I at the time I couldn't hear it right like because the sound like I mean I we usually have some guys in here who like are down to clown with Chris Nolan movies they're not like you know here you are all right he doesn't really like it is really Nolan no I can't fuck with I watch the dinos documentary the dinosaur documentary on Netflix recently do you guys see the eyes I didn't press play wow don't watch it stones no what the fuck is going on what happened with the dinosaurs there's a part of this documentary it's narrated by Morgan Freeman obviously incredible choice hope he got paid a lot I'm sure he did it rained for a million years at one point I guess what so what the fuck are you talking yeah yeah that is so crazy I shouldn't know anything about that the passage of time like I literally almost had a panic attack I was so scared they start talking about the dinosaurs basically the fact that humans exist is crazy and our lives are so small just so you know and the idea that it rained for a million years is gonna go ahead and be something I should have never heard about and this is separate from the ice age which was by the way a whole age hello where it was ice hello and the dinosaurs by the way they were here then they weren't now maybe their birds I'm not can't be involved they they do say that they were likely birds they were like well it's just that any color we like applied to them is just is conjecture yeah like and Jurassic Park it's like that's not what they looked like they might have had feathers babe yeah we don't know they could have had feathers it's really scary but the idea that it what's oh I'm gonna try to cry because the idea that it rained for him is so crazy what do you mean by that rained lava first of all a million years happened right let's start there yeah the documentary first thing it does puts up it puts up an earth clock takes it back to 260 million years ago that didn't happen in my personal opinion do I mean that no am I I just can't process the idea that there's been 260 million years what do you mean by that what can you process that like like where do you fit into that the 1400s is yeah yeah yeah totally from on Caleb's timeline everything started in like the 1400s they were speaking English which can you imagine being alive at that time when you're always filthy everyone's sick and you're probably gonna die from like a sword right but I understood some things like I understand like the little hats they wore understood maybe some things they were saying I get the fashion but I'm scared of everything that happened before that and I'm scared of everything that will happen after this yes I think I think it's because there's no meteor portrayal of it of dinosaurs of of the years that was raining you you should have on like a whatever extra screen you have lying around put on like me sezoic era screensaver yeah and you should just see what like what the world might have looked like back then yeah just just there yeah ask Google AI what were the vibes during the million years of rain give me vibes give me million years rain vibes because you've seen the 1400s on TV and in movies yeah and you can you can you can you can you can process that because you pictured it yeah I think you have not pictured raining for a million years which of course you have it because what because there's because do you okay so I guess the way you're talking right now going it feels like are you guys comfortable knowing that it rain for a million years I can believe I can believe that it happened but the dinosaur documentary it's just one one movie not not about parts yeah it's like part it's like a part it's like episodic it doesn't show you guys out at all to like think about like okay no it stresses me out a lot it's been friends for 17 years right imagine that hold it rain it was raining first of all and would never stop would never stop during the whole time you've been friends right and then let's say that goes on for basically another million years at least though then you were you are born into a world where it rains and you never know life where it doesn't so actually you'd probably get pretty used to it yeah that's a really good point I wasn't born in the rain so I have trouble understanding it scary I can only lock in to stuff if I'm stone now if I'm watching oh don't watch the perfect neighbor let's go oh that's oh my neighbor also Netflix shout out it's it's it's it was an Oscar nominated documentary that I put on the other day which is it's it's entirely police body cam footage that they strung together to get a narrative and it's I can't even get into it I didn't know what it was about and I I put it on and I had been too stone to watch that and I I wasn't I had to lay down for like three hours afterwards it was yeah horrifying but what's better high on Netflix is age of attraction don't know it I thought you say I thought you're gonna say age of I went stone is the best film ever what's easy for track age of attraction is a Netflix Netflix television series that is new basically it's about all these singles get in the house and no one can reveal their age the one for age the one question you can't ask is how old are you until you make a connection and then you go to the promised room and you put a promise ring on each other's fingers to each other then it's it's like it's basically loves blind you find out the yeah at that point you're gonna move in together and only then after you've made the commitment to move in together can you reveal your age and it's like you know wouldn't you know it like like people that you have would have never guessed where 60 are like people that look 35 are really 22 and then it's about like okay we've just realized this person that I've been getting to know for four or five days that I thought was maybe within a 10 year age range for me we actually have like a 33 year age difference and what does what does that knowledge do and what is the dynamic how does it change when we're living together with that knowledge when I introduce you to family members that come in and what's great about the show is it starts like love island where they're coming into the villa and it's like they're blown out and they're make it was perfect and it's like they're perfectly like you know airbrushed and like the filter is on and then once they start living together it becomes like a real docu series where it's just like I just don't understand how can you be celibate but last night like ride me and have an orgasm just be I just don't understand like why we can't go there and she's like if you can't understand my celibacy then what am I even doing here he's like you're not celibate we fucked we basically fucked I just didn't put it in you she's like I can't believe you'd even say that on camera she wrote him no penetration and came not that it's the detail no I am I'm confused but there was a moment you have to watch it yeah like and it's just it's crazy it's like it's it's the way it devolves and from one type of reality show into another I think is kind of a flip on the form in a way that I was appreciated and like I was in because it was so silly and stupid and then once that disappeared I was just like I couldn't believe how personal the They were getting and what it was picking up. And I'm just like, wow, we're in it. In a way that like after the honeymoon phase of meeting someone, you're then in it. - Yeah, in that cell of a. - But they like really, they went hard when it came to like, you know, mapping in terms of the way they were shooting it. The way that the people were feeling at the time. Like it was good. Get high and watch it. - I might have to. I'm really, yeah, for nothing else, I'm wondering if maybe you would do me the favor of sending me the timestamps of the celibacy stuff? - Yeah, but the thing is, it's so much better when you've seen what a contest before it. Like I can't even describe to you that like the way that they're filmed and like it goes from full a love aisle. You tried to watch it, right? - I tried, but I've not gone to like the look and feel chef. - You felt it had like a little bit of ink. - I was just like, I, this is not like grabbed me yet because I think you need to wait for the actual reveals where you're like, oh, even eyes of your thought that this person was 40 years, you know, older or younger, or whatever, I mean, like I, yeah, I guess I should give it up. - The biggest age difference is 33 years and there's another one that's 27 years and like you really can't, like you're blown away when you find out that's what it is. - Oh, I don't believe it. - Yeah, I mean it, you're really blown away. - You mean it? - Twice I was blown away. Twice I was blown away. The rest I was like, okay, yeah, I knew that I saw this coming. - See, 'cause I have the gay guy skill of like, you know how they can age trees with rings? - Yeah. - I can do that with torsos now because of being on grinders since I was 17 years old. - Right. - Like if I just see a torsos, I'm like 43. - You know how you can tell. - You need to get the list of, we need to give a list of gay powers. - We need to give a list of gay powers. - Oh, there's a list of gay powers, have you heard of this? - No. - So it's like, it's like any gay man has like six of these like 80 gay powers. - Yeah. - Maybe I have the list of-- - Matt, Matt reading, telling, aging man based on their torsos, like, you know. - Torso aging, he's doing that. - So I don't have the list of gay powers, but the gay thing I do have is my Ariana Grande torsoset list that I made when I was high on the plane. - Ah. - And I said this to him when I said Ariana Sateless, my version spelled with a B. So it says my version with a heart. - Hello. - And I think it's perfect. - I really believe you. - His encore's were insane. - This is my Ariana Grande concert. Intro into the world, short version, into yes and, into be all right, into true story, into supernatural. Then she takes a break because she deserves it. Then we go back into the past. Breathe in, one last time. All right, think about it, dangerous woman. Take a little bit for a break. Yes, it's time to honor positions. - You know that we do. - We do positions. - 'Cause she deserves it. - And POV, after POV, I'm sure we have like a beautiful like montage and like an eternal sunshine montage into the song, eternal sunshine, twilight sign, twilight zone. No tears off to cry, break. This is when we're being a slut. Into you, break up with your girlfriend. The boy is mine, seven rings. We need a break. It's wicked time. Popular, into every different show. There's a different musical theater cover. Into think about it, Ariana, the way. Break, God is the woman, break free. Thank you next. Down, encore is imperfect for you and we can't be friends. We can't be friends as the encore works. Imperfect for you doesn't make sense. - I think it becomes awesome. - Of course, I love musical, different musical theaters song every. - I think it, I think we'll see something like that. - It could be fun. - I think we'll see something like that. Drown on a plane. - I grew too high on the plane. - Really addictive. - I could have done real work. This is what I did. - Your team pinging you up to the right knee. - Hey, XYZ, can you check your doc you sign? - Please doc you sign. - I'm busy with my version. - Please do, do, do, do, please sign, sign, sign. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. I'm Lexi, you want to? - We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. - I'm not gonna get any of your fighting. - That is wild. - If men were just honest about this, they would be so much more peace in the world. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Lie. - Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - I don't really care. - I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up, comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts, the True Crime Comedy Podcasts, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. - What? - And the scams run the gamut. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. ♪ Scam Goddess! ♪ - Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana. - Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonnell. - The Improvized Character Comedy Podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. - What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know, I think I sort of faux journaling. - So you're, so we don't like to use that word anymore. - Okay. - No! - I'm so sorry, I'm seeing a reading of Sudako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audrey McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore, 14th. - No way. - Patrick of the last bookstore though, Kim Katrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. - It's right up next to the microphone. - I hear you get the ovals here, the eyelashes hate each other. - Listen to artists on artists on artists, on the iHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin and we're the host of Out of Character. It's a podcast. I know there's a lot of them going around, but why should you listen hours? - Well, we're only the best podcast in the entire world and we talk about pretty much everything under the sun. For example, music we're listening to, underground music, trending music, drama in music worlds. Yes, sometimes we even talk about just everyday mundane situations in our lives, like the cool Uber driver we just had for the food we just say that is surprisingly delicious. Or we'll talk about the Med Gala and the looks that they wore. Are they awesome? Are they trendy? Come find out. - Because our opinion matters. And so does yours. And this is a place where all of our minds can come together and connect. - So what are you waiting for? Come connect with us. Listen to Out of Character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. On the iHeard Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. - It may be time, it's time. - Okay, it's time for, I don't think so honey. This is, that segment we do. - Oh my gosh, okay, yes. - It's time. And so this is, we put one minute on the clock and we sort of shred. This mic has been drooping the whole time. I think it's not worth it to fix it now. - That's okay. - But I do just want to say, I think it's probably okay, right? I sound okay. All right, that's a little BTS for y'all at home. - You have something? - Yes, I do. I do have something. - Okay. - This is Matt Rob. - I don't think so many times starts here. - I don't think so honey. You asking me if I talked about you in therapy. - Oh, this is not of your business. I don't, and the thing is like, be prepared for the answer. 'Cause you might ask, did I come up in therapy and I might be like, yeah. And then you might be like, oh, and then either you're gonna ask me what happened. I probably won't say, but you're gonna intuit that it probably wasn't great. Or that you were a long discussion. Or you're gonna be like, oh, cool. And then you're gonna spin out for hours about how you came up in therapy. And I don't think so honey that I'm gonna tell you. So you're gonna be alone with that spinning. Also like true narcissism revealed to ask, did I come up in therapy? Even as a joke, my therapy is my therapy. Your therapy should be your therapy. I'll never ask if I came up in your therapy. But like, and I just feel like at this point, it's like what happens between me and Stacey is between me and Stacey. And you have to respect that relationship. And it's one that I've built over time. We have our thing, you stay at home. If you're asking, you probably are in my therapy. And that's one minute. Wow, beautiful, I liked that. Thank you, it's happened a couple of times and I'm like, do you want the answer? I don't think they do. I don't think they do it. A guy? It has been, three people have brought this up to me. Have I come up in therapy? I haven't asked you that question. No, I don't think you've asked me did. You wouldn't have said I come up in therapy. You do come up once a session. - Sure, sure, sure. But it's the equivalent of lurking on a message board or searching your own name. - Yeah, it's like, you don't wanna know. - I actually don't wanna know. - It's better for you to not ask and it's better for me to not tell, just stay out of it. - Yeah, I just stay out of it. - It's my business, my version, my version. By the way, when I say you come up in therapy, it's just because you're so constant in my life, so you're always there. - And can you see that I did not inquire further? - I don't know. - Just. - And those are boundaries. - My version, my bestie, my boundaries. - Boundaries, my version. - And boundaries, my version. - Taylor's version. - Taylor's version. (laughs) - Anyways, are you ready? - Yeah, okay. - It's actually pertinent to this thing we were discussing earlier. - This is Bo and Yang's, I don't think so many as time starts now. - I don't think so many. Q-tips aren't supposed to go in your ears. - Wow. - They keep telling us this and yet no amount of PR, of messaging, of whatever, it's too late. - Yeah, they're in there. - The bell has been wrong. We cannot unring the bell. You're never going to win, Big Cotton. I'm so sorry. It's okay. This is what happens when it's, it's, it's not, I don't know who released Pandora from the box, but this is all we're gonna do with Q-tips. We're not gonna clean our keyboards with this. We're not gonna do rafts with this. We are going to stick this in our ear, whether it's good for us or not. And it's the only thing that's digging these little, is hitting these veins to get that ore out of Mike in ours. Q-tips, there's no point. There's, it's fruitless, it's futile. Let us do it. Stop it with this, because then you're gonna get me angry 'cause I don't like being told what I'm not supposed to do 'cause guess what, I'ma be doing it. And that's why I'm in it. Bowen hates being told what to and not to stick in any of the tolls. - Tell me what to or not. - Don't tell me what goes where. - I'll put shit where I need to put shit. - Exactly, and the thing is, like, you're right, it is the only way to really get in there. - Get in there and get it out of there. - I'll do a pencil every now and then. Oh, goodness. - A pencil. - Bowen. - A pencil. - Like the eraser side, of course. Pardon? - I need a fine point. - Bowen, you are doing a scantron in your ears. - Bowen, that's really bad. I want you to go back to cute. Now, I'm definitely like, if you didn't like his, I don't think so, honey. Now, have the context that without the cute tip, it's a pencil. - It's a pencil. - There's lead. - There's lead in bones. - Bowen, that's so scary. - It's also crazy as a noted fan of the television series, girls, that you would shove anything in there that could perforate in your drum. - Nothing smaller than an elbow. - That was hell. - Nothing. - What? - That's what she says. - Nothing smaller than an elbow in there. - Becky and Baker. - Hello. - Becky and Baker, Jim. - Great star. - Love her. - A great star. Okay, well, that was me. - Okay, my turn. - Are you ready? - Okay, I think so. - Okay, well, this is the moment people have been waiting for. - This is Caleb Harrins, I don't think so honey. His time starts now. - I don't think so honey, innovation where innovation is not needed. - Oh. - Enough. We have done too much. There's so many things that we already know about. I'm gonna start off by saying car door handles. - Yep. - We figured that out in the 1960s. - Oh my God, thank you. - In the 1960s. It is a little thing that you pull that opens the god damn door. - Yep. - I've had it, why is it a button now? Why is the button hidden? I have to rub my hand around the entire frame of the door to find the button. - Yep. - So I have to knock on the door three times and enter a troll's riddle to get out of the fucking vehicle. - Yep. - No more new car handles. - 30 seconds. - What else, Diet Coke? It was working. When I asked the restaurant if they have a Diet Coke and they say we actually have a house made, artisanal Italian, we all have something else and it's a fucking problem. - Yeah. - Diet Coke at the restaurant. We are innovating things at the Blackberry. Should have been where we stock with phones. - 15 seconds. - Why are we on iPhone 17? The Blackberry was a perfect phone and we ruined it. Plains are getting smaller. Why? You guys already figured out how to make maximum money for us and make us more uncomfortable. - Yeah. - The overhead bin should get bigger, the seats should get bigger, stop innovating things that do not need to be innovated. Thank you. - And that's one minute. And it is at this point that I will say first, this is a, we needed to talk about this. And I wanna talk about hotel lights. - Hello. - Oh my God. - It's not the first time it's come up. - You need to put your key in there for it to work. - Oh, forget it. - Oh, I'm so sick of it. Hotel lights. What was the other one I was thinking of? - Toilets everywhere. - Toilets? What's going on with toilets? They won't stop innovating. They wanna know what, everywhere does self flush now. And they're like, oh, we'll just hit the button. The buttons are getting smaller and they're hiding them at different points on the toilet. - Yes. - They're guys, they're putting out new toothbrushes every day. - We've certainly figured it out. - Out. - We have figured it out. - There are things that we just figured out. No new car. Now if you wanna put the car in drive, you don't pull it, you just turn like an O-N-L-E-D know-up. - No. - Stop. - They're even coming for our shit with the glasses. - Hello. - Don't innovate on the glasses. - What's happening with that? - They're fucking Ray band metas. - Yes. - It's like crazy. - No, nobody ever wear that in front of me. - Yes. - Ever. - Ever. - Ever. - Using AI to like respond to emails. - Yeah, forget it. - You go make like any class. - $85,000 a year to respond to emails. The least you can do is fucking hit the keys, bitch. - Yeah. - I have had it with the innovations. Knock it off. - Knock it off. - No offense to anyone who's using. I just don't like it. - No offense to anyone who's an innovator. Anyone who identifies as an innovator, no offense to you. - Just directed at the right thing. - 10-year gap. - 10-year gap on innovations. That's what I'm asking for. - I truly agree. And there was another, there was another one. Oh, with email, I hate seeing at the bottom of Gmail the suggested responses. - Sure. - Never makes any fun. - No, I'm telling you sometimes it'll be like, well, that's a perfect response. And that's a perfectly lovely response, or a good response to this email. And then I actually think about clicking it. I'm like, no. - Can I just tell you? - The principle? I'm not using your answer. - I auto-populated one on accident recently, 'cause you know how Gmail now will just like, if you accidentally hit tab, it'll like type it out for you. - Devil. - It typed out scarily exactly what I would have said. Like lowercase like, hey y'all, dashed at, like it is my exact email voice. It typed it out for me. Word for word, what I needed to respond. I deleted it, and where you talking to? - Yeah, I mean, I'm not doing it. - No. - I'm not doing it. It's scary to me. And I hate to notice. - I'm just marching into the Oklahoma City Hall. - Yes, it knows me. - I always say Caleb, you have gorgeous Asian eyes. - You know what, Bowen? Thank you for saying that. That is so beautiful and special. - You have a gorgeous lash length on a beautiful brown almond adjacent eye. - People often think that I am not white, and I'm not gonna lie to you about that. Sometimes people think I'm Pacific Islander, sometimes they think I'm Hispanic. - Why would you lie about that? - I would never lie about that. And that's what I'm telling you. Sometimes you guys, people think I'm not white, and every time I receive it as a beautiful compliment, and really don't know what to say after I say, unfortunately I'm just white. Of course I think being white is an embarrassment. It's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. And also, we can't deny there are privileges. - No. - That's all you have to say. - Do you guys wanna unpack white privileges? (laughing) - I was thinking today was the day. - Yeah. - It's time we did that. - It's time. - That's for next time Caleb comes on. - Yeah, you will return and also we should do dinner. - What's your dinner? - I actually don't know why I thought you were an LA person. - Well, you used to be-- - Yeah, you were. - That's why I thought this. - Now I am a New York person. I can eat dinner whenever we'd like. - There we go. - We're going to the fly. - Look at restaurants. A real jerk is coming through. - Three real jerks are coming in. - But just, oh my God, we leave and we get a terrible reputation. We were only lovely. - Oh, there'd be fun though. - Oh, it'd be kind of fun because at least we would know the truth. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's how I always feel. (laughing) - I know the truth. - When I hear rumors about us and I always am, I go, I know the truth. - At least I know the truth. - The truth of this episode was that it was a blast and you gotta listen to so true. You gotta watch this special. You gotta watch Devil Wars Proud of Two. - You do. - To be promoting Devil Wars Proud of Two. Just congrats. - I'm also funny for me to be promoting. It's like, I think they've got it covered. (laughing) - I don't know. I look at that cast. Listen, I'm like, yeah, sure Lady Gaga, yeah, sure, Rachel Blutton, Caleb Heron. - Hey, hey, we knew who we wanted on the show. - We got cast. - Thank you guys for having me. - We love you. - We end every episode with a song. ♪ What a big spaces ♪ ♪ Room to make a big mistake ♪ ♪ She needs new faces ♪ ♪ She knows I stick ♪ ♪ No, I stick ♪ ♪ I stick ♪ - For more of that, listen to the album and song, "The White Open Spaces" by The Chakes. - Bye. - Yeah, yeah. - "Lost Culture" is "The Production" by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players in My Heart Radio Podcasts. - Created and hosted by Matt Rodgers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosniay and produced by Becca Ramos. - Edited and mixed by Duck Bame. - And our music is by Henry Comersky. - Lisa, tell them about our new show. - We have a new podcast. I'm Lexi Wanyu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. - And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. - I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of SCAM Goddess Podcasts. - The True Crime Comedy Podcasts, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. - Ooh, I scam them. - What? - And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. - Start listening to SCAM Goddess on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ♪ The scam goddess ♪ - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin. - And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said. - Wait, they said that? - Yeah, yeah. They said that the best podcast would two best friends who jabber and talk about topical trendy funny stuff give our input on it That's what you've needed. I think up until now listener listen out of character on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Sometimes I just feel like a burden you're a bird you fly you're a man. We are out of character podcasts dude You messed up the clip. Hi. This is Kylie breakman angel Jaratana Jeremy Cole hangtash McDonald and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast the improvised character comedy podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants and we do a little Halloween sometimes. He he winks on a low end. You can I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other You've never seen it least so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists every Thursday on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts This is an I heart podcast Guaranteed human