Angry Cops Saves JD Delay From Going Back To Jail | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 233

don't look at me are you asking me to put out a hit because i know people in colorado prisons what the can you say execution jesus christ dude no wonder you kept getting caught i said i was a career criminal i didn't say i was good at it say hi to eli he's racially ambiguous and brandon his hair is fucking fabulous and don't i a dog joke disposition and there's a fat electrician welcome to unsubscribe what is up everyone i have so much to say we got a couple updates the fitness challenge that's what everyone's here for first right for the next couple weeks we're going to be getting all the numbers checking everything and then starting a voting process for the hey who was motivational and all that stuff i cannot stress how proud we are of each and every one of you that participated in this and if you didn't participate and you just helped and motivated people fucking awesome and i want to see this continue everyone just kicking ass taking names holding each other accountable and pushing through awesome job each and every one of you also quick ticket update san antonio and orlando are around the corner so make sure you snag those up come out have a blast we are really looking forward to meeting all of you and we can't wait to meet you in the next video as many of you as we can and something else to keep an eye open for we have finally hit the point in the shoes foot apparel business that uh pretty much once you order the shoes are landing which shoes is that gonna be the ones we've been promising you for a long time the jump out side zips and if you want detail it is down to hey the u goes down and cuts across specifically for that and these zippers reinforced for that also the nice like felt interior so you don't feel it and plus these are still about a month out but we have finalized it that is the purpose of this message the unsub side zip duty boot reinforced heel reinforced stitching thicker sole and we added leather all the way up to reinforce the laces all of the new ones are coming with 550 cord and regular laces and we back that up with the lifetime warranty keep watching and looking out for the fitness updates we promise you in the next couple weeks we will be releasing the winners and the information behind that go buy your tickets now come hang out everyone enjoy the episode we love you keep kicking ass and taking names this is a really quick insert quick riding update i'm so freaking proud i know you all will love this right and just created his first video shot for shot with vfx of terminator 2 he taught himself every aspect of that it is his riding quiz youtube channel which is put a quick link somewhere here if you can go check it out we'll give it a quick watch give it some comments he was so stoked to upload this and show y'all it's seeing these new emotions i've never seen him do and it's all thanks to the support y'all been given i am just so proud of my kiddo and what he is accomplishing ah i just a proud dad holy moly hola everybody hola okay everyone ready for the countdown three two one hi everyone sorry thunder rolls sorry god he does not want this episode to happen this episode is a crime against god i know jesus doesn't want us to talk just thunder to god loves you so much he said don't talk to the police even though after you're all done with this shit acv i don't answer questions i don't answer questions oh my god okay everyone welcome to the unsubscribe podcast i'm joined today by eli i don't answer questions i don't answer questions oh my god okay everyone welcome to the unsubscribe podcast i'm joined today by eli i don't answer questions i don't answer questions i don't answer questions oh my god okay everyone welcome to the unsubscribe podcast i'm joined today by eli double tap angry cops rich i missed you by the way jd delay myself don't an operator thank you guys so much for being here what's up bitches we're back at it again everyone got a break no you didn't but you love this yeah like we're rolling right into the second one we're trying to stagger them and then i'm super stoked for this one just because i have two men of the law and our boy jd i'm nestled in between law enforcement officers right now what do we have 58 felonies yes yes okay last time i was this close to two cops i had a sore asshole for weeks i thought the last time you were this close to cops you had to call me up on the phone and ask me for a favor oh that was wonderful by the way thank you so much i didn't know you were a poetic prolific writer i was an english major i was gonna be an english teacher before i was a cop well that explains it holy shit man should we we're gonna go back to that what i think everyone in the audience is like huh huh rich is that why we get along so well we're both men of literature like yeah like writers yeah back in the day yeah yeah wait what did you go to college for writing too no i just i wrote like 500 law enforcement articles before i got into the youtube thing uh i know rich rich you you did that too i didn't write like 500 articles but i was an english education major and i had to write a lot we're good at telling stories buddy that's true that's one of the reasons why i became an english uh major is because i got back home from iraq and i didn't know what i was gonna do i was like i know i gotta go to college for something and i was like well i'm not good at math even though i enjoy it i go but i am really good at bullshitting which is what english is if you can you can say the sky is purple black and green all at the same time you just have to wax on poetically of why you feel that way and then you're right it's beautiful math is you know one plus one equals two english is i say whatever it is and how i feel and you can bullshit damn and knowing how to use uh a semicolon people don't know how to use a semicolon yeah it's true they all think it's about a semicolon is a super comma yes it is a longer it's just a longer pause yeah is that maybe we didn't know this is how we get along so well maybe we we we kind of on the same vocation like we we were both meant to be entertainers on the internet but we became i don't even know how to use a semicolon i don't know how to use your colon come on you beat me to the colon joke i'm learning so much right now about my friends i'm good beating felons to things hey i'm a little too light-skinned for all that buddy yeah i don't know there's getting pretty dark right there there's some dark spots right in the blackout i'm excited for this episode this is why well that slight tangent they went on about english education yeah i love it what the fuck we just we'll just get that out of the way now how many years of college did you do three and a half i only had to finish it yeah i had one one semester left and it was going to be my student teaching and i think one other easy course and i got picked up by the buffalo police department and they were like hey you want to come in tomorrow and swear in i was like sounds good and that was that was it my buddy was a math teacher and then he became a buffalo cop then was a buffalo cop for years and he was a jump out boy and he was like rich you're gonna you get back home you should just try it out if you don't like it just go back to teaching and i was like okay and then i loved it no shit nobody ever invites me to get paid to shoot minorities what the fuck you can do it for free wait rich you got into policing because you're like yeah i guess i'll try it out my buddy's buddy said i would have fun with it and i was like that sounds it sounds like fun like everybody's watched cops and saw foot chases it was like that sounds like cool you know that's why i got into policing just because it sounded fun i just needed a job and like my grandpa did it and so i got into policing yeah my buddy told me it would be fun and i had another buddy that was in a so one of my friends was in buffalo in the city and my other buddy was in a town adjoining and he was like yeah this is great this is great it's kind of fun you should really enjoy it it's like a mini deployment every day you wear a vest you get a gun uh you get to go chase bad guys you can get foot chases you can car chases it's great that's weird we're like really good friends now and have been for the past decade we're men we don't talk about deep shit unless we're forced to otherwise it's all about like you know our wives breasts and butt sizes yeah this is true bro we've never talked about that before i got into policing because it was you know just the thing to do at the time i needed a job so i didn't know that you were the you were the same way and also that you're kind of a rider that's cool man yeah no shit you as a teacher dear god that would have been a blast and also could be a terrifying yeah i feel like you'd be a mix of those things i feel like that's an appropriate you know amalgamation of like me being an instructor mr high what raise your hand all the way stop being such a coward quavis poor kids yes why are you sitting next to the white women now here oh no shit jessica's pregnant already you breathed on her go back to your roach infested friend's home well shit and you never were like hey i'm gonna go back and finish this though no i got in a fist fight with a dude that was hammered that stuck up or uh that ran from a cab and i was just like this is the best job ever you know fist fights are fun people forget that they're kind of cool you was real you started blowing out every so i'm blowing it out right now wait go talk i just started talking like this and it was okay so we're good now jd blah blah i got it i was like oh we gotta fine-tune that one really quick there can you not do it midway no because it's 32-bit float so once it's like going it's already over my head okay thank you it locks it in yep and you can't change it once it's recording you have to stop it readjust then come back do a quick clap and now we're good ding mulligan start over no that's perfect no hi everybody welcome to the unsubscribe podcast i'm donut operator he's a very different jd yeah and then we got dude cody i didn't know you wrote that many articles yeah i wrote several hundred articles before i started or i left policing and i wrote several hundred articles and that's when i started getting into the whole police youtube thing because i knew how to tell a story and i did that for a minute i wrote for a company defunct company called blue lives matter and i wrote a couple hundred articles for them and that's that's what led up to like the breaking down police footage no shit yeah because i remember you doing your first one and that's when you were like oh this does way better than me playing minecraft yeah yeah yeah way better than playing like csgo or minecraft or stuff like that i just took what i what i learned from policing and i i was a good storyteller and that that's how i started the whole donut operator thing what changed since then oh content's been garbage no i'm kidding we we talked about this on the last one it might be out of order but uh the live shows since you were saying maybe for the two we asked rich remember on des moines we have the possibility of doing two shows oh yeah in one night yes and it was like hey we'll ask cody and we were talking about and brandon was like i was surprised cody said let's sleep on it nick said the same he's like you know he said yes yeah i did i don't think i let him finish it well no he was like what do you think and i just started laughing hysterically i was like what do you fucking think and it was of course yeah richard's gonna go all day long on two shows in one night i told him we know he's gonna do it in between the shows i'm just gonna hand out shots to people so they can catch up to our level yeah i'm just gonna go out there be like you need to catch up get drunk get drunk yeah here's a weed brownie or whatever nicotine you choose yeah let's just start handing stuff out here's five zips put them in now we're going i got nicotine poisoning jd how you been doing man you've been here for two nights in a row now oh yeah no i love texas though yeah i love texas it's a good spot yeah dude like so you know i lived in florida and florida is a great state the weather is great uh the politics are a little more conducive to how i like to live there's constantly adventure you might get killed by something at any given moment now i live a peaceful boring life in oregon uh but you know i get to be with my parents and they're not going to be here that much longer so i'm stoked on that but coming to texas texas is near your parents yes stoked on being near your parents yeah yeah not not stoked that they're not going to be here no no no no no i was like i'm gonna stoked on spending the rest of their remaining time with them and all of that but i was like are you planning another felony no no like they're not gonna be here for long i can guarantee jd's like damn it sounded that sounded bad that sounded hold on hold on mulligan mulligan redo so uh i love my parents but yeah no i love texas man i would like to move out here uh i really dig it out here maybe get a spot out here in the future uh because this is a cool state man and i keep like i've barely been in public but even just like walking through my every time i walk through the hotel somebody's like bro it's you so i feel like texas has love for me which is cool we i mean we have so many people that live here now nico just moved down did he yeah nico lives here now he's like 20 minutes from here nico ortiz yep no shit well that's rad we got uh tex tone tex tone oh yeah he's moving down really yeah we got we got a whole group of boys moving there now i could i could quickly get arrested for stalking asmongold i feel like that's cool aspon yeah no he's still in austin oh that's still an hour away though yeah well it it's really cool because it's like you build a good community community community uh you build a good group of boys and suddenly people want to hang around you and just make themselves better people too yeah it's weird it's like it's their destiny oh god son piker i like he drank from that that's all i gotta say about our future plans i don't know everybody else got so excited cody do you want better sex i love better sex do you want to start having better sex immediately can our new sponsor adam and eve help us with that that's right dump your girlfriends you want better sex start over who needs a real person the best way to get started is head on over to adam and eve.com right now oh this website's so great adam and eve is offering 50 off just about any item cody look what i got for 50 off whoa wanna them just like all adam and eve orders does it include free shipping and rush processing cody can i see you with these tits on don't want your neighbors to see that you're getting the gapinator 10 000 they offer discreet shipping my tits are lopsided they're a little little wonky buddy go did you see this toy i ordered it's called the green goblin was it sent discreetly for free and fast it was and then my neighbors judged me because i opened it on the front side of my car and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry cody don't wait better sex is just a click away lick me daddy so how do we get 50 off that one item with free shipping and rush processing just head over to adam and eve.com pick out a single toy or anything you desire and then just enter code unsub at checkout code unsub unsub dude why is that so weird like when you say it doesn't sound right no yes that's that's right unsub that's u-n-s-u-b over adam and eve dot com this is a specific offer for this podcast so be sure to use the code unsub to get your discount to get your discount bicep the bedroom by bringing more pleasure and satisfaction to it wish i could satisfy my partner i'm sorry can you teach me adam and eve can cody f***ed me i i love that everyone does move here because it is we don't protect any secrets we try to help each other as much as possible in every aspect of the business or social media it's hey have you tried this hey you should do this instead hey can you collab hey do you want to be on this video everyone just lifts each other up which is extremely rare in the business world and then the content world a lot of people are like nope f*** off this is mine yeah you're not learning any of this well that's how like early youtube was as well i talk about this on my stream sometimes like early youtube they would say i don't want to collab with you because you're going to steal my audience like you're going to take my fans from me if you're doing content with me and we just we just try to push each other up yeah here in the our little group that we have here me canyon uh i didn't know he was a freddie wong he used to watch freddie back in the day so we were hunter dude yeah dude hunter loves freddie so we were talking we were watching his video last night and he brought up freddie i was like huh text hunter i was like wait do you like freddie wong he's like oh man he's a goat i was like oh you know him he's like no like do you want to meet him yeah freddie actually loves going to vegas actually we should all go to vegas together because those two would have a f***ing oh yeah hunter gambling yeah with freddie gambling isn't freddie like a really good gambler yeah i know hunter and hunter makes his f***ing voices and s*** oh just love to be there just want to sit on the blackjack table with them and just be like pump up the f***ing lady that's dealing while hunter tears her down and does his voices and then freddie's just like sitting there card counting carolyn you're killing me come on when he's yelling at jesus christ dude because me and uh me and brandon went up there a couple weeks ago to vegas to uh put the range day stuff together and we didn't know hunter was in town and hunter just happened to be at the hotel that we were staying at so hunter comes down on the floor he's he's do doing that he's at the blackjack table like come on come on we're just like yelling at the f***ing at the blackjack dealers and stuff he's the best person to gamble with it's amazing he's just fun to be around yeah he's such a f***ing cool dude hyper talented hyper f***ing talented yeah people are just finding out that hunter her papa meat is meat canyon sad was telling me there was a whole trend of people some girl went viral she's like oh my god i was today your old learning that papa meat and meat canyon are the same person i just found that out right now you said it with your mouth that's when i found that out Holy fuck. Okay. That makes so much sense. No wonder you kept getting caught. Yeah, right? I said I was a career criminal. I didn't say I was a good one. Fuck. That seriously makes me think of the Joji thing. It's like, wait, Joji and Pink Guy are the same person? Yeah, they've always been the same person. Has he come out with a new album? I don't know. He had that one where he was like running on the train. The music video where he was like running on the train going through. I haven't seen that one. It was for one of his more recent songs. It was probably like eight years old now. But he had a really good album, his last album. I think it was his last album. That was one I did not know. Like, I think you told me Joji and the Pink Guy were the same person. Yeah, dude, he's a YouTube OG. And he's one of the few that transitioned into actual a successful career in music. Like, fully. Yeah. He's crazy. He's crushing the music scene or did. I don't know if he still does. He has to. Yeah. I mean, I would still go to his shows. He's phenomenal. Who's the guy that does the song like, please don't bring me down. I forget his name. He used to have the bowl cut and be in like the 90s. Oliver Tree. Oliver Tree. Went to one of his shows. Awesome. You went to an Oliver Tree show? Yeah, he was in Pittsburgh last year. Oh, that's a dude I would love to go see. Great concert. It was cool as fuck. Great concert. Nice, man. He came out of nowhere, too. Cause he, he was kind of with that LA crowd, like, uh, like the Joji scene. So that's, that's really cool that he blew up. You guys know all the OG YouTube lore, which is cool because I accidentally fell into YouTube. And so like, I have like very little idea of most of the people you're talking about. But when we're talking about musicians who came up off of YouTube, uh, fucking Alex Terrible. Oh yeah. Yeah. Alex. Love Alex. He came off of YouTube. Yeah. He was. Wait, what? October 1st. Really? Yeah. Didn't he start out? You're talking about Slaughter to Prevail, Alex. Yeah. He just started out doing covers, vocal covers on YouTube. We didn't talk about this. I'm friends with him too. Are you? Yeah, dude. He sends me his masks. Yeah, we have one. Oh, that's sick, dude. I love him, man. He's cool. I don't know where. I actually literally had a fangirl moment when he followed me back on Insta. I was like, like my wife was like, you're acting like a little girl. And I'm like, I know. Yeah. All of his masks are in the background on my YouTube videos. Yeah. I've seen those. I love that, dude. Oh, that's cool. That dude war maxes. I feel like he's just on every side quest, bro. Like the bare knuckle boxing, wrestling bears, raising bears. Holy shit, bare knuckle boxing. That damage. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. The last fight he got into. Oh, man. Where his nose was pressed in. He was such a G about it, though. So if you guys don't know who Alex the Terrible is, he's the lead singer of Slaughter to Prevail. And he's just, he's a gnarly dude. And he does side quests, like Eli was saying. He does bare knuckle boxing now. And God, that last fight he got in was gnarly, man. Yeah. Dude, he broke his orbital, his, what all did he fucking crack? I mean, God, that boy swole. Yeah, that shit was bad. Look at those lumps. Yeah, he had like brain swelling, like all sorts of nasty shit going on. But just immediately hugged the dude that he just got womped by. You know what I'm saying? He put up a good ass fight, dude. That's what happens when you have CTE and you can't think good. And then he fights bears. He does. Yeah. Every like. Russell's full grown ass bears, bro. He's raising right now. He's, he's like rehabilitating and raising baby bears right now, dog. What breed of bear? Uh, Russian. Russian bear? I don't know. I don't know. Giant Serbian, like bears. Like they're nasty as fuck. Yeah. And they're like, just like chewing on his nose and shit in his Insta videos. It's a purr and shit. And he's just laughing. No, he's cool as fuck. Like I, I hit him up a couple of years ago and I was like, Hey man, I really like, I like your music. Like I listened to it in the gym. Cause it's like, Whoa, you know exactly why you probably wear it. You gnarly motherfucker. But, uh, he, he hit me back and he was like, Hey, can I send you some of my masks? And I was like, yeah, dude, just that, that would be amazing. And he's, he's a, he's just a really cool guy. Yeah. Super humble, super chill. Like his mask. Do you hear what happened to his mask factory? No. So like mask factory. Yeah. So he has a, he, he has this business where he makes these masks, the slaughtered or prevail masks. And, uh, it's out there in Russia and in like a little village and, and the roof caved in and collapsed one of the walls. So his whole production for his mask company. Yeah. It's just trashed right now. So he was like, he had so many people supporting him by ordering masks and he had to come out and go, Hey, I turned off the orders. I'm sorry. I love you guys. Thank you for supporting me, but I, I don't want to like have this be a thing where I can't get them to you in a timely fashion. Thank you for the support and everything. Cause he's just that dude, man. Yeah. He seems, he seems like a awesome guy. And also he loves a berserk. He sent me one of his berserk masks that I'd still need to give you. No, you gave it to me. Oh, I gave you the berserk mask. I think, I think so. It's the black, black one. Yeah. The white. Yeah. Yep. Yep. A hundred percent. Yeah. I appreciate that. I love the new album too. He's got that song. Leaf. That shit. Do not be a. And you just do not be. Like I said, that's my gym. That's the gym shit, bro. That's his gym shit too. If I don't deadlift this, I'm gay. I'm listening to him just fucking Blair in the background. Yeah. I listened to EDM when I work out. Like I like to dance in between lifts. I can't, I could see. I've got the mental image of that. It moved a little bit to the left when you said that. I'm just saying I'm all about his motivational speeches. The entire time I lived, I'm like, yeah, it has some interstellar soundtrack with just people telling me I'm a piece of shit and I need to do better. I'm like, Oh yeah, I am. I was so roll your eyes. I did CrossFit for a while and I liked it. Right. It was a good time, but it was like a really positive atmosphere. And so the coaches there, when you're like doing like the annual competitions and stuff like that, they're like motivating. You and because it's, you know, a positive community, they're like, come on, rich, one more. You can do it. And I told my one coach, Lindsay, who's a gangster. I was like, Lindsay, don't ever give me positive affirmations when I'm lifting. I go, the one thing I want you to say is nobody cares that you're tired. Tell me that. Tell me nobody cares that you're tired. Tell me, don't be, you don't be a bitch. I go say stuff like that. It's just, nobody cares to say nobody cares. That you're tired. Everyone else is finished. Yeah. Everybody, everybody else is going to beat you. You're better than this. Stop. Stop. Have asked. I go, don't, don't be like, you can do it. I go, I hate that shit. It doesn't motivate me at all. It makes me feel like what I'm doing is enough. And that's not it. Tell me that I suck. You know, I'll be like, you do better, you know, then I'll, we're good. She's like, I'll try. So you're ugly. What the fuck? Yeah. So I need my muscles to look good. Her hair. When I got out of prison, one of the first jobs that I got was, uh, being a personal trainer at gold's gym, right? And I was training people that wanted to do bodybuilding competitions. One of the people was, it was a couple and they were doing the 50 and over, right? And they were super nice people, but the, the, the lady needed positive affirmation. And I, for some reason just decided that wasn't going to work for the dude. So I wrote this dude so hard, bro. I wrote him like it was a Diddy party hard. I'd be like standing over him going, this is why your wife doesn't look at you anymore. Lift that shit. What the fuck is wrong? You're pathetic. You're not a man, but he do it, bro. And they short Scott shorter. They both took the comp, bro. They both ended up with gold for the over 50 category. And I was so proud of them both. They were bad ass for that. A lot of the times, all it takes is that just call them a piece of shit or tell them to, they're not doing it. I had one client. He would not listen. And he came in, he was overweight by two pounds of where he was supposed to be or not four pounds. And I remember he got off the school. He's like, Oh, you know what? That stuff happens. I was like, I'm going to fire you as my client. I'm letting you know that I'm not going to have you walk around and say, who trained you? Oh, Eli trained you. I was like, fuck off. This is going to be the last three sessions. Once this runs out, unless you make changes. No, I'm not joking. I was like, you take, you just fuck off. You don't follow any of the meal plans you do Jack and barely push yourself in here. So after this, we'll just knock out the sessions. We'll get through it. That dude next, like two gym sessions, when it talked to me, you'd just be like, feelings were hurt month later. He's down 20 pounds. I was like, holy shit. He's like, that pissed me off. Thank you. But holy shit. It is so cool to get paid to talk bad to people. Like. If I could do that, it's like, I think, I feel like it's like, if you're a personal trainer or you're a drill instructor, those are the two occupations where you could just get paid to just thoroughly degrade and debase people like on the most savage level. And it's totally acceptable anywhere else. You're like a fucking bully. Yeah. I just call it giving them their daily dose of reality. I don't see why you have to put such a negative spin on it. Okay. So, but what is the end result? When you bully people, you make them better or they themselves. Then they are. Yeah. Just standing over his dead body. I told you. I didn't want to hear your feelings. You just like resuscitate him. So he comes back. Get up. Repeat to you. Look, you fell at that also. You can't even die. Get up. That's a heavy part that I take into my working out too, where I'm like, my family's going to die if I don't lift this right now. I have to go harder. That came from like being in the military and like doing the police stuff. It's like, you're a fucking, you don't do this right now, which I'm happy that happened. I didn't fucking myself. Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Well, you're here. Hey, look at this. Harry's Razors. Most razors suck. 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And after your purchase, they're going to ask you how you heard about them. Tell them to unsub. I only showed up. So get that nice clean cut today. I got to do the drill sergeant stuff in a week. And so I'm running because I don't run a lot. You know, I'll do some sprints. You know, it's running is not my bag. I like lifting heavy things. So I know I'm going to have to train privates to and we're going to do PT and I'm going to run with them. It is what it is. So I've been running more and more, especially this month. And I just write notes to myself on the fridge. And it's like, it's literally don't be fat. Don't be a shitty drill sergeant. And then my wife will be like, why are you writing that on the wall? Like, why do you keep, why do you keep like focusing on like, I got to go to the gym today. I got to go to the gym tomorrow. I got to run tomorrow. I'm like, because you don't, nobody respects a fat drill sergeant. Nobody's going to be like, oh, I'm afraid of that guy is like, you know, when I'm running one mile, I will say this though. I have like dry heaved while I've run with privates and like, and like spit up a little bit. And I'm like, whoa, the demon's out. Oh, cause then you get like that natural high. Cause all of your endorsements just went flushing as you, as you vomited. Like I've done that before. And I've motivated some troops where they're like, see me like, and then I just keep going. And they're like, Oh, it's a God. He kept going even though he vomited and he's still screaming. He didn't stop any of it either. You look them in the face and vomit while you're looking at them. Don't look at me. Don't look at me as I'm staring through them. I'm like, I can't look away. He's a monster. I feel like, can we run like political campaigns, like a drill sergeant or a personal trainer, just thoroughly berating the other person and degraded, just beating, bullying the ever loving dog shit out of them. If it's like Tony, could we do it? Have you met Brandon Herrera? You know what? I'm so fucking proud of him for jumping back in, bro. It is about time a YouTuber ended up in an actual position of power and there's no one I would want to see besides him. Cause we've had someone else attempt before. And I'm, I mean, multiple times, like she just got a train ran on her with her failures. You might know her. Oh, Laura Loomer. Laura Loomer. Yeah. She's very bad at her job and life in general. She's bad at being a person. She doesn't look like one. She made fun of a medal of honor recipient. I don't know if you knew that. She talked shit about a medal of honor recipient on the internet. I did not enjoy that. Uh, she, she served our country. I think she's serviced a lot of men that run our country. You know, it's funny with her mouth. I actually saw, um, I was looking through a hundred Biden's laptop and I saw a picture of her actually pegging Tony Gonzalez in a gay bath house. I believe. Did you know that Tony Gonzalez moans when he wipes? At least he, people have said this and he won't, he won't address the allegations. I've heard it. I've heard that as well. So, I mean, I like, I haven't actually witnessed it, but you know, when multiple people are saying something, it does grant clearance. There's a trick. There is a ring of truth in it. Yeah. I mean, there's a ring of truth in the wrong way. The long way. Yeah. But he eats bananas for the shape, not the taste. Yeah, dude. Did you know that Tony likes to have hot dog tasting competitions and he judges them all on mouthfeel for those of you at home? We're insinuating that he's a homer sexual. Yeah. He loves the Simpsons. He's snicker. He likes snicker bars upside down just for the veiny. Oh, I hate that. So he can feel the vein on his tongue. Oh, I hate that way more. I just like the texture. Licking the veiny side. He's like, oh, this is so much better than a Choco Taco. Get it? Because a taco is like a vagina. That was good. I just picture him opening the Snickers, turning upside down, but. Oh, the veiny. That's the good side. The good side. Why are you licking it? It's not ice cream. Go back in your bedroom, son. Don't look at Daddy when he eats his delicious treats. I'm curious what he's going to use against Brandon the next time. Because he tried that veteran shit, which was fucking hysterical. Because you and I and Brandon had just left a panel. Yes. Where we were talking to people how to talk to your buddies and how to not commit suicide. Yes. Prevention panel. And then, hey, this is how we talk. Or this is, as Cody says, it's reaching out. Call your homies. Have those conversations. But. And then immediately Brandon had that joke because he opened for it. And he didn't say the joke. And I told him, hey, you should tell the joke to the podcast, though, because I found it fucking hilarious. And then that one clip is. Because it was we were sitting there and I talked about it last night. It was at SHOT Show. Yep. Right. And me. Canyon was with us on that podcast. Yep. And everyone like we all told Brandon was like, maybe don't say that during the panel because he said it was like when I I am an honorary veteran because sometimes I think about putting a gun in my mouth, too. Yeah. It was like, I think it's tasteful. So we so we said like, yeah, like maybe not say that one. But he just recited it to us while we were doing the podcast later that day. And that's what Tony took and like. ran it on ads all over all over san antonio and you have all the veterans laughing in that we were laughing our asses off at that one because like zach was there like he's a combat veteran you're a combat veteran like rich you were on that one were you there on that one uh i don't know he wasn't he wasn't there for that one it was like me canyon and uh it was you and me and we had zach bell like a veteran with a sign there oh yeah and so everyone thought it was a hilarious joke but we were joking like you you like good job not telling that one but me and brandon were sitting at the texas roadhouse here and we like looked up at the tv and it was brandon telling that joke and it was like tony gonzalez says that brandon hates veterans the dude who spends all his time i was like i was on that podcast what the fuck the dude who gets relentlessly bullied by all of his veteran friends and and we literally you guys stick purple hearts up his ass when he's not looking yeah it's like guys i don't know he can't stand him be like we raise hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to help the veteran community but you know what you know brandon hates veterans it's whatever yeah you're putting money in their pockets then they do more heroin you bastards you should just let them die in the streets like the savages they are oh i wonder what it'll be interesting to see what approach he takes this time because i know he hated it last time so i wonder if he even tries the going on the offensive he's like brandon's cool i would probably start that route if i were him brandon like you guys like you know what brandon's a good guy i hope the best for him this run don't give him all i would do i'd be like please don't and don't kill me right now and instead he decided to he chose he decided to kill me right now and instead he decided to kill me right now and instead he chose he chose like like he's so edgy it's like when you're it's like when like the mormon kid swears in front of you you're like michael that's not one of your words stop trying to pretend like you're cool your first time cursing yeah i sent you that video i don't i don't think i sent rich you remember that video is it the mormons that do soaking or is that the jehovah's witnesses that's the mormon okay that's that's weird yeah that's weird do you guys know what soaking is let's talk about it okay so i've spent a lot of time in salt lake city for obvious why you have as well yes yes i have um soaking is when you put your inside of a woman and then you're you you it just stays there it's just there right that's the thing because it's the movement that god can see but if you're not moving god can't see it god is a t-rex yeah omnipotent god it's like i found a way around his vision yeah that's what i love but you can actually have a friend your friend stomp on the bed it's kind of like the shoe point but it's like the vanilla version of the shoe pump yeah when you're soaking a friend can shake the bed right yeah yeah so the shoe pump is is when uh you are inside a woman and your buddy stomps on your ass to give you more motion so it's kind of like that but you know i enjoyed both of your description but when eli made a face he's just like oh you're just gonna cheat on omnipotent god and he's like this and like pretending that he was god with his eyes closed like god can't see that i immediately thought that you were gonna do like an asian god voice oh they got me this time all these slippery humans hey angel where you at hey hey adam it's not adam and stevie or no sinners am i right okay i knew i should have done this is why i hold back msg for so wrong no when you do it it's racist i know that seems high you can say that okay yeah why the bed shaking i can't see this oh no how come my sons and daughters are coming at the same time even though they're not humping one another oh well i guess i better forget give it next time i'm an asian god not at all very stereotypical adam what's up okay are you happy i need a woman or a partner oh my god okay give me a rib okay there you go and boom have fun with it you're so bitch oh my god yeah oh you're so meaty don't trust a woman i sent a snake she fell for that no more fault for the snake trick adam give me another rib i want to make short ribs they're so good asian adam you ever have your own short rib come here he took two he just i need two ribs i mean he just used one and he tasted the other he's like oh that's delicious okay gonna send that down oh he's like asian god asian god takes one rib from adam he's like okay i made the woman oh i need one more to even it out oh delicious oh so good oh adam short rib so delicious that's how korean barbecue came around yeah do you ever struggle with tiny toiletry bottles no well with mando struggle no more i would not want to spread whole body deodorant on you nick it's because it's gonna get all clumpy in my chest hair but it looks like i've been rolling around in mashed potatoes how well does it lubricate it's developed by a doctor and it works for 72 hours show some respect i'm gonna tell that to everyone at the magic the gathering tournament i wish i was there when they figured out that it wasn't good for 73 hours i like to imagine just a fat guy on a treadmill for 72 hours straight up he's turned time to shower finally fatty curdled thanks to mando it's also named after mount fuji really mine's bourbon and leather because i'm a mando couldn't even get through an ad without a pun what do you want to sell the deodorant or not brandon i'm just waiting for the sweet release of death it's not gonna come for at least 72 hours listen we did a lot of meet and greets during the live tour y'all motherfuckers could use some mando for a strong independent woman you can do everything a man can do you can still use some mando our captain nick dead the cops are coming we've got 72 hours to hide the body before it starts to smell actually does smell pretty damn good this one smells like the body wash smells actually really good i have bourbon leather anybody find the body no but that ditch over there smells delicious there's no way there's a body over there you said we can ad lib jokes on you we're into that this isn't your average deodorant or antiperspirant you can try mando starter pack it's perfect it comes with absolutely everything you need to know about the body wash and the deodorant cream deodorant two free products of your choice like a mini body wash or deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer you'll get 20 off site wide with our exclusive code unsub that's code unsub over at shopmando.com so the mormons have soaking and christians use the the back passage because god can't see anal so anal's not a sin and the catholics just do choir boys right is that how that young christian girls would save they would they wouldn't lose their virginity so they do it in the back door yeah and also it was safer because it wouldn't get them pregnant yeah oh yeah that's true it was like they would still have like their vaginal virginity and they wouldn't be able to get pregnant so there was like a time like when i was growing up when that was like the thing i heard choir boys don't get pregnant either for the catholics out there it depends on which you know church you go to it's evangelical you got a little you know a lot of transitioning yeah oh god yeah yeah it's a new world today like fuck okay since we have you boys on the podcast i know the story how i got him out of prison yes yeah no i want to hear that so well yeah yeah okay so you guys i had a 12 year old dui charge oh god that was i thought that was going somewhere else you are what what did i sign a letter for rich's mind quickly slips into failure you're like 12 year old i'm over here like what the fuck so i have this charge it was literally from the end of 2013 i got a dui for marijuana and then i i shortly after that i was facing a lot of bigger charges in the state of oregon they wanted like 10 years in prison and i was like i don't want to do that i'm just gonna go to florida and evade prosecution it seemed like a great idea at the time i was there for 10 years i recently moved back to oregon after i was able to get all my shit resolved in florida and oregon stopped prosecuting umvs which is what i was facing it's unauthorized use of a motor vehicle so you can steal cars in oregon they don't care by the way just so you know they're not going to prosecute you now so i i put in a motion from florida to have my charges dropped so i could move back to oregon and the prosecutor that put me in prison uh when i went in 2009 and i was like oh my god in 2009 was the judge who signed off on yeah cool we'll drop all these charges so thank you deborah vo appreciate you your honor uh and so i was able to move back but i still had this warrant because i had probation for a dui that i never finished and and in fact i like immediately fucked up like i immediately violated i was crusty back then it was a bad deal i was not acting like an adult not handling my responsibilities and nowadays i like to handle my responsibilities as head-on as humanly possible so i i knew that i had to clear this up and uh so i i went and i got a lawyer and i asked the lawyer like so what do i do with this situation like you know like do i need to pay a fine because in florida you can basically buy your way out of anything i don't know if it's like that here in texas but as i mean as long as you don't a kid or beat up an elderly person in florida if you throw some money at it get a good enough attorney they're like hey we got you but um especially something like a pv or something you know like well we'll get you reinstated or whatever i'm thinking it's it's probably not going to be a big deal but he's like no this prosecutor wants incarceration and i'm like well you know i did the dumb shit i bought the ticket i have to ride the ride you know i won the stupid i played the stupid game so here's my prize i got to go back into jail for a while and i'm like it's any he was like it's anywhere from 30 days to a year and i was like all right well how can we try to get it closer to the 30 days than the year because i'm like i'm not going to be able to get it closer to the 30 days than the year because i'm going to take accountability for my actions but i'd super like to not spend a year in county jail right now that doesn't sound all that awesome uh and so he was like well you know let's get all of your because i have done copious amounts of treatment i've done you know uh inpatient treatment i've done outpatient treatment i've done uh intensive outpatient treatment uh you know in the standard i did uh you know a full sober living six month where i'm you know living there but you know out working every day and you know i managed those places i interned and you know he's like bring everything bring information about your recovery coaching company and bring me letters of character reference and this is where uh cody is going to uh say that i'm name dropping because i'm gonna i'm blessed dude i had people that stuck up for me and it's not that i'm trying to name drop as much as i never in my life would have thought that i would have these types of people actually writing letters of my character dude like because like i still see myself kind of like i still see my past in my reflection and you know they're still i'm still working on that letting that part of me go because i'm still feel like i've got stuff to make up for like i damaged multiple communities for 20 years so i still feel the weight of that on my shoulders and i do everything i can every day to like bring good into the world to balance those scales maybe someday i'll feel like i've made up for that but i'm not there yet i'm working on getting there yeah so i sold jelly roll yeah yeah so jelly rolls his wife bunny they wrote me letters of character reference chris hansen and and this guy right here There are also sheriffs from across the country, in particular, my good friend, Sheriff John Staley out of Lone Oak County, Arkansas. Amazing dude, because I go into prisons and I speak to inmates when they're at a low moment. I go into treatment centers. I have treatment professionals write me letters. But out of all of these letters. Wait, so you were looking at a county year, right? Yeah, a county year was the max. So a county year was the max. You just finished probation, didn't you? I just finished my probation out of Florida. I had two years of house arrest and two years of probation, flying colors, no violations, not a single wag of the finger even. Yeah, just absolutely followed it to the letter, went above and beyond. In fact, my my P.O. in Florida was like, please stop calling me about every little fucking thing. And I'm like, making sure I'm in compliance. And she's like, you're in too much compliance, dude. So but, you know, that's what I felt like I needed to do. To be able to make it through. I don't know how to live like a normal motherfucker at this point in my life. I'm still figuring it out, you know, but like law abiding was not something I was super good at. So, you know, I wanted to make sure what I was doing was what I was supposed to be doing because I was taking it seriously. I was given a blessing. And every time you're given a blessing or really it was grace, it was grace beyond what I earned or deserved. So I wanted to respect that by following it by the letter. It was important to me because every time I've disrespected a blessing. God slaps the shit out of me and dude got hands, homie, you know what I'm saying? Do not like it, just slap the shit, JD go away, give him an inch, he take a mile. Out of all of those letters, why he keep doing this out of letters from me, why does JD keep fucking up out of all of those letters when I went to, so I go to court and I meet with my lawyer outside the courtroom and he's like, you ready to go in today? And I'm like, I'm ready to go in, let's go handle this. This is the last thing I have to do. This is literally out of 20 years of being a degenerate drug addict, career criminal. This is the last thing that I have to pay off. This is my last debt to society, my last criminal, anything to deal with. And I'm like, let's go. I'm excited at this point. Like I'm, I've got three pairs of underwear on because if you go into the county jail wearing three pairs of white underwear, they let you keep them and they don't give you underwear. When you go in there, they just give you a jumpsuit. I've got my white t-shirt on, did not know that certain counties. They let you do that. Um, and I'm, I'm ready to go. I've got like two K in my pocket for my canteen. I'm going to get fat kid in there. Just work out, read and eat. And we walk in the courtroom and he's like, that's a different prosecutor. He's like, hold on. He goes and talks to the prosecutor and the prosecutor's like, uh, he comes back. He's like, the prosecutor knows you from your content and feels like it would be a waste of time and resources to put you in jail when you could be out here continuing to do. What you do. So he wants you to, uh, his, he wants to give you community service, but his one ask is that you talk about this in a way that shows what taking accountability for your actions can do for you. And I'm like, accountability is my whole entire fucking thing. You know, like that's hugely important to me. That's something I live by. And he's like, cool, it's still up to the judge. So we got to sell this to the judge and the judge. Like. The prosecutor goes harder for me than any paid attorney I've ever had trying to convince this judge that I should get community service. It was incredible. That dude went above that dude. And the judge is like, I'm going to read these letters. And there's a lot of them. And he's looking through them. He's scrolling through these letters. And I mentioned those other people because out of all of those letters, the letter he stops on, he's like, I want to read a quote out of this letter. And he starts reading Rich's letter. And he's like, and this is coming from an SVU detective, which shows that this man has made serious life changes. I'm going to agree with the prosecutor on this. And I'm going to give you the community service. You had a jump out, boy. Yeah, like, yeah. And my wife's going hard for you. My wife's in the courtroom behind me and she's crying. This is the that woman is a saint. And this is like the fifth time she's had to go to a courtroom. And maybe I come home. Maybe I don't. And she's, you know, just rode out with me through all of this. And she is not a criminal. She's never been a criminal, never been a drug addict. She's just a rider ass trad wife. You know, she's just the shit, like literally the best. I would not be here today if it wasn't for her. I'm convinced of that. And I get to walk out on my own two feet, ready to go to jail. I get to walk out. The only thing that he read out loud was Rich's letter. So thank you, man. I haven't gotten to thank you in person. I appreciate it. All of that, I know that you didn't go into a career as, you know, an English major. But you definitely helped me. So I feel like that three and a half years you spent in college, it did something good. Right here. I'm sitting. Cool. Yeah. Good. I didn't have to eat Top Ramen and cream bologna. Now, let me tell you what really happened. I get a call one day from JD. And I look at my phone. I'm like, oh, JD's calling me. That's fucking cool. And I'm bullshitting back and forth and talking about some, you know, like, content. Hey, you want to come on my thing? Yeah, I'll come on your thing. Yeah, but probably coming on things that's not the way I should have described it. You guys are doing great with verbiage today. Yeah, right? So. You're talking about your prison friend? Yeah. Yeah. So my wife's just like, who's calling? I'm like, oh, it's JD. What's going on? And I get up from the couch and I'm like, hey, dude, what's going on? He's like, hey, I have a massive favor and I feel uncomfortable asking you about it. You don't have to do it. This is just a request. He's very nice. You're very nice about it. He was really trying to take the pressure off of me. And he's like, I got picked up for an old DUI and I'm looking at spending a county year. Like that's the max. I'm just wondering. You can say no. I was like, oh, do you need me to write a character letter for you? He's like, can you do that? And I was like, fuck. Yeah, dude. You know how many people I put in jail and take one out? Yeah. That's fair trade. Absolutely. So I went to work like the next day and I sat down. And I was just like, your dearest judge, JD delay is a handsome, beautiful man who has served his time with the community and has assisted others in their time in, out and recovering from prison life. And then I, and then I, and then I creamed it up with all the stuff that you want to hear as a Buffalo police special victims unit detective, formerly attached to the FBI safe streets program, hunting violent gang members and seeing the effects. Drugs have had in the, in the community. I think that I kept it short and simple. Yeah. In church. No. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't need. That's fucking awesome. I think I can get one guy out. Yeah. And then he called me up and he goes, dude, he read your letter out loud. I started jumping up and down and I was like fist pumping. I was like, of course it. God is God. God has a good sense of humor. And so of course, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter. I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter. I put in my letter. I put in my letter. I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and it's, you know, I put in my letter and I've done 22 hours of my community service. 22 hours. I had to do more for my disorderly conduct. I have to do 80 altogether. I have to do 60-something. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love that. Oh, God. We were talking about last night about officer discretion. It's like sometimes you don't have to be an asshole to the criminals. Yeah. And you're a super nice guy just writing this letter for JD. Yeah. That's awesome, man. I'm just glad I got all them out. I was glad that you called me. Yeah. That made me happy that you called me. I was like, cool. Well, you know, like, I don't ever want to ask somebody to vouch for me. Like, especially, you know my past. You know my history. But me and you are friends, and I think you know that I'm not going to take advantage of it and go out and do damage to the community. I feel like you, at this point, know me well enough to know that if you help me swerve a county year, I'm not going to be out, like, murdering ladies or anything like that. Might be murdering that butthole. But, you know, that's different. My butthole. Or Tony's. Or, you know, a Mormon butthole. Because God cannot see it. Oh, my God. JD DeLay is gone. I cannot see him while he's inside another person's butthole. That's where I should hide if the SWAT team ever comes for me again. I love it. Tony's butthole. One of my favorite stories that you talked about the first time when we met was, like, you're like, yeah, I hid a pile of clothes. And I was like, that's why I jump on piles of clothes when I used to search houses. Yeah. That's why, yeah, I wanted to, those are other topics. Because it was like, oh, man, from each, we get to break down both sides. It's like your worst chase or favorite chase. Well, I don't know how to say that for you. The one that ended the best for me. Yeah, yeah. What chase is that? Because then it went, like, you guys breaking that down. And then vice versa. Your guys is like, oh, this chase sucked. Or this chase was dope. But here's X, Y, and Z. Oh, dudes that hide behind doors. Yeah. I broke a guy's nose one time. Because I just pushed the door in as hard as I could. Because they teach you that. Yeah, you got to clear the back of the door. Yeah, hit the door as hard as you can. Because people try to hide behind doors. Oh, yeah. And so just hit it as hard as you can. Oh. You're just hearing, ooh. Yeah, and you're like, found him. Marco. Hey, Brandon, do you have Cash App? Brandon, I asked you a fucking question. No, Eli, what's that? Do you have Cash App? Cash App, Brandon. How did you do that? Brandon, anything's possible when you use Cash App. Uh, okay. Moving money should be easy. Brandon, that's why there's Cash App. Wow, this is really easy to use. I have it now. Don't hit me again. Cash App is fast, safe, and way more personalized than the other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through. No extra stress. All the tools are right there to help you cash in. Plus, sending money through Cash App actually feels safe and secure. If something seems sketchy or there's, like, red flags that you might be sending your money to a scammer, they let you know. They'll give you a warning and make you think twice before hitting send. It's like having a bodyguard for your cash. Send your bunny some money with the eggplant emoji. My favorite. Make his friends think twice. Brandon, what are these three drops of water and an eggplant mean? It's a tip for good service. I like tips. Just a tip. Just the tip. And for whatever reason, if you don't have Cash App, just head over to your phone app store and download it today. And use code UNSUBTEN. And if you send $5 to a friend, you'll get $10 deposited in your account just for getting started. Send Brandon $5. His number is 3. No, no, no, no, no. New Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. Legit for reals? No catch. Just download Cash App and use our code UNSUBTEN. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. That's money. That's Cash App. My favorite thing to do. Tell me if you've fallen for this before. I'll just go. I'll just go into like a building, and I'm like, bro, I see you. Show me your f***ing hands and come out. And I'll say it like two or three. I'll be like, dude, I'm serious. I'm not. Don't make me come in there and get you. Come out with your hands up. I can f***ing see you. And they'll be like, damn it. And I'll be like, oh, sweet. Got him. Got him. You know? Didn't see shit. You just cock-bocked yourself on the next time you tried that? I thought I saw a dude one time. I did not. I said it, and I was looking at the area where I thought I saw him. Dude came out of another area. I was like, oh, f***. Yeah, I knew you were there. You get out of the grass. How many of you are in here? It's like I talk about all the time. Policing really is just like daycare. It's adult daycare. So it's like, Eli, when you're playing hide-and-go-seek with your kid, like Rich was just talking about, just like, I see you. And they go, yeah, you got me. It's like. No, I didn't, but. Bro, and imagine being a correctional officer, because that really is adult daycare. Yeah. Like, that's like 100%. I've talked, I've sat and chopped it up with COs, and they're like, yeah, I mean, I'm basically a f***ing babysitter, bro. I'm a babysitter for grown-ass men who all are trying to prove they have the biggest dick. And it's true. Yeah. It's true. There's so many people in prison with complexes, bro. Like, everybody in prison is. has some sort of mental illness. There's, as my friend Grady Judd would say, there's a hitch in their giddy-up somewhere. I realized that at some. a certain point, I realized that, like, most of the. 99% of the people I knew were just kids that got traumatized as a kid, didn't know how to process it, didn't know how to properly place it, never got therapy, including my f***ing self. And so we ended up acting out, and our development stopped because of the trauma, and then we continued to atrophy our development with numbing out, because we couldn't handle our feelings. And then you get to prison, and everybody's just trying to prove that they're Billy Badass, you know? Yeah. Did you drop Grady Judd's name down there? Mmm, somewhere down there. Sheriff Grady Judd. Somewhere down there. Your friend Grady Judd. Somewhere down there, but. Yeah. That's one of my favorite sayings, though. I love it when he says, "There's a hitch in his giddy-up." That sh*t's great. That's just a cowboy thing to say. It is, dude. It is. The Florida sheriffs are like Wild West sheriffs, dude. Him and Chitwood, and then. And then the dude from Lee County, what's his name, Marcino? Which one's the guy that has the photos, and he loves the photos? Grady Judd. That is Grady Judd. Yeah. Okay. That you did the TikTok with that says "illegal"? Yeah. Dude, I facepalmed so hard when I saw that. I was like, "What?" In a good way. I was like, "What the f*ck is happening? What world am I living in?" Bro, his social media person, she is fire, bro. She's like, "I have the perfect TikTok trend for you guys." She thought of it. Yeah. Oh, that's. And so, he's like. He's like, me and him are both lip syncing to this song, "Hello, it's nice to meet you." And he's like, "Am I doing this right? This feels weird. I feel. I don't feel right doing this." And she's like, "You nailed it." And I'm like, I don't even remember the lines, but, bro, that sh*t popped off, and then. Is this illegal? Yeah. It feels illegal. Two weeks of just like, "JD's a Nazi bootlicker," in my f*cking comments, I'm like, "Thank you for upping my engagement. Talk more about my 'Not an Alligator' Alcatraz shirt and make my sales go higher." Dude. Yeah. I have a "Florida Around and Find Out" shirt that has nothing to do with Alligator Alcatraz. Since I joined Bunker Branding. Is that name dropping too? But, since I joined Bunker Branding, tell me more about this, please. No, because Bunker Branding. We planned this sh*t up. Because we own Florida. It's okay if it's advertising for us. So I planned this out like two months ahead of time for a shirt just with an alligator holding an assault rifle with a f*cking bulletproof vest on, and in the background, there's like, palm trees and a Florida ghetto, and it says, "Florida Around and Find Out." I'm just a very Florida-centric person, dude. I spent a decade there. I have an alligator tattooed on the side of my f*cking head. I f*ck with the swamp puppies, dog. They're my people. And so it ends up dropping the day that I fly out to Florida, so that we just timed it like that. We were like, "I'm flying in on the first, and we're doing a new drop on the first. Let's do the 'Florida Around and Find Out' shirt." It's been out for. We thought about this months ago. It just happened to be. It just happened to be the day that they opened Alligator Alcatraz, and it's all over the news, and everybody's like, "He's a Nazi. It's a concentration camp," and I also fed into it a little bit, just comparing how the treatment in Alligator Alcatraz is compared to how we treat people all around the country in any sort of incarcerated situation. I'm like, "Look, this is where the living quarters for them. This is a normal dorm setting. There's three toilets. The sinks are on the toilets," which is something that. God, what the fuck was her name? Debbie Wasserman Schwartz was freaking out. Oh, my God. They shit and drink in the same place. You dumbass performative. Have you never seen what. That's inmate standards. Your sink is on top of your toilet, and she's like, "It's so degrading and dehumanizing the way we're treating them. Their mattresses are fucking this thick, homie. We got like that." You know what I'm saying? It was so crazy, all of the fucking performative bullshit going on, and I was just like, "Look, this is just normal. This is what we do," and then there was a rumor that somebody did a video with pictures of incinerators, and they're showing trash incinerators that aren't on site at Alligator Alcatraz, and there was a TikTok rumor that somebody's cousin said that her friend was contracted to install these at Alligator Alcatraz, and so everybody's like, "They're gonna. They're burning illegals," and I'm like, "First off, you can't burn a body in those. That's literally a trash incinerator." Yeah. We've tried. What are you talking about? Yeah, absolutely. It does not work. Yeah. How many times you got to put them back in there, cut off the limbs? It's just a mess. If you want to talk about how we treat people when they're incarcerated in this country, cool, but let's do it across the board and not just make it about what fits this narrative, you know what I'm saying? That's not fun. incarcerating people i don't think the conditions need to be worked on too much in the majority of places i think what we need to do is start focusing more on rehabilitation rehabilitation and uh i think that like if you have inmates in a minimum custody facility i feel like that's a waste bro put them on community control put them in house arrest so they're working they're working towards building you know their future and all of that at least make it an open option for that to be able to be a thing they're paying taxes instead of just taking up tax dollars sitting in some fucking minimum custody thing. When you're in minimum, you're a few years to the gate. Anyway, let them spend that time doing something productive instead of being a drain. Like I always told myself when I'm in prison, I'm literally on welfare right now. Like I'm taking up people's tax dollars. This sucks. This is stupid. I'm a piece of shit for this. Let, let them give back to society and save imprisoning people for people that just can't be trusted in society. And honestly, if you can't be trusted in society, there's some things that with proper rehabilitation, you might be able to come back from, and there's other things that you can't. And if you are not somebody that can be rehabilitated, we should not be wasting tax dollars on keeping you breathing. There's a very, there are very cost-effective ways to just handle the situation, chalk you up as a fucking loss. If you kid bro, we shouldn't be like oh well you know when he comes out in six months he's gonna not do this again well you know statistically he is uh you know somebody who goes in and does a school shooting why the do you get the chance to come out and do that again fuck that we shouldn't pay for your three hots in a cot when we can just do the you know rope is super eco-friendly and you could reuse that bitch a lot - Rich, I gotta ask you, buddy. - Ask me. - How do we solve the problem with, do you think we should have public hangings like back in the day like cowboy days so you remember they they used to have like everyone to come from everywhere and they would sit there and they would have a picnic and they would like watch the public hangings i think it should be uh put on like pbs i think i think if you have a like a trump cancel that do we still have pbs yeah but we can make a pay-per-view yeah that's what i was thinking give it to dana white bro it's paying for itself and you get to see like will you the boston bomber neighbor yeah it's after mr rogers the public execution it's door the explorer can you say execution execution bring back gladiator shit bro just arm oh yeah we were talking about that last night one chomo with a fucking broadsword and another one with a mace and whichever one comes out on top you you know execution just to double tap to the back of the dome i like the pay-per-view idea now that i said it i like i like the state-run television pay-per-view of like an execution of like somebody that murdered somebody or school shooter or the like the boston bombers yeah oh and the money goes towards the charity sure absolutely taxes i mean honestly bro it goes to like the survivors of uvalde yeah yeah i love i mean texas zaps people too so you you can make a lot of money oh we we did just get into shooting people too south carolina just executed a guy by uh shooting firing squad yeah it's like mormons and jehovah's witnesses some of them are like they can't put anything inside their body and stuff like that so they'll be like yeah the firing squad i'm good to go with that yeah just could you just uh blast me in the chest with some 30 odd six that's what i would be like but they can say in the chest they they can soak though they can put things inside yeah well yeah they're bullet soaking is what they're doing shake the rifle what we were discussing on the other show that we did was uh like trump is a businessman right there's a way to sell this to him as a businessman be like hey imagine the pay-per-view sales put dana white in charge of this shit i see it you know what i'm saying i'm seeing it and you want to you want to get the deficit handled boom we could do that i like the charity idea but if you're actually going to sell it to somebody who can get that shit done make it make sense business wise illegals we we ship them off but they have to do like um that that that asian show where they had to run across stuff oh it's the squid game no no god no that's my game what is the game called uh yeah takisha's castle takisha's castle kashi is it takisha takashi yeah yeah where they have to like run across the obstacles and like fall in the water and if you're like oh no you know remember when they would dub it really poorly oh yeah those are my favorites i love those we do that for illegal immigration if you make it get to stay if you don't you're out of here and it's the fun and make that pay-per-view you know put that on a television show you'll have endless amounts of entertainment for years yeah there's no violence on it it is funny as hell and then if you split it up so it's not just a bunch of mexican and brown people it's not hunger games yeah you're like they die squid games i want five thousand people to try out and i want one to live and he gets his citizenship like brutal damn so i mean but here's the thing is that like they're super focusing on just the brown people that are getting deported oh there's whites i know there is i know i've seen europeans i followed this uh russian chick on tiktok who was like yeah i'm being deported thanks a lot trump canadians too the fuck out of here oh man ice backs snow mexicans yeah snow mexicans i have the frostbacks yeah frostbacks i have uh i want to tell you the story i i accidentally not not accidentally but i have a feud i guess with a an inmate in a colorado prison who writes articles okay so i'll give you the backstory uh are you asking me to put out a hit because i know people in colorado prisons i'm sure you do i have a gang out there that i'm probably make another video on them and and similar to this tell them to politely jd's like i know what you're putting down yeah i got you i got you i'll score i need you to fly a kite real quick and let the boys know yeah we're let that shit so got a mission for you for a cop out here and want somebody dead he's not a small man so you might need a bigger dude so a while ago about a year year and a half ago i made a video because my buddy sent this story to me and he said i'm going to kill you i'm going to kill you i'm going to kill you he's like have you seen this i was like no the story is that a colorado prison system one of the colorado prisons had a vfw in it a veteran of foreign wars uh community in there and so they had a post inside of this prison which is like cool whatever that's fucking cool it's pretty cool and i was about it if you could rehabilitate the people a lot of the people that were the heads of it were chomos uh a guy that held a teacher in her basement for hours and tried to kill her four five times um a guy that killed a college student because he thought she was going to snitch on him because she was moving some ecstasy um do you want to know why that is why they get in those positions because those positions are usually held uh for people who can get clear conduct it's basically there there's incentive levels in a lot of prisons for if you don't get in trouble if you don't get caught with contraband if you don't get caught balling out another inmate's back passage if you assault staff you know and you don't get drs disciplinary reports like in oregon like there was incentive levels if you get 18 months without that shit which is why dudes like um the happy face killer won't fight back when you punch him in his shit because he has over he got his 18 months clear conduct and he got a special fancy cell um but so to get in those positions where you're running shit it usually requires that you have the incentive level to be able to do that just so you and chomos are never an issue for the cops unless a gang sends them on a mission because they're not actual criminals they're creatures they're not people committing crimes they're monsters so i make a video where i say hey and i say this in the video which they choose to ignore i say hey if you are like getting out if you had some drug charges if you stole a bunch of cars and you're trying to flip your life around hey there's things we can come back from one guy smashed a baby on the concrete until it was dead nope yeah that's that's one of their like vice presidents or chairmen's like i said there was like one or two chomos in there um and a guy that like held a woman in a basement in a bunch and then tried to kill her a couple of times like during that time period like choked her out until she passed out and then she came to um so i make a video about it i say hey if it was somebody getting out cool these guys are doing like 40 to life most in life sentences i'm like what do you want chomos and like guys that are murdering like 18 year old college students to be in a veteran of vfw and be a part of the community like you've decided that you don't want to be a part of this community anymore there's standards for being you know a military member even if the veteran status stays with you after you get out yeah so what ends up happening is like six months within six months of me posting the video uh a lot of people in the vfw community are like whoa whoa whoa wait a second we've got a vfw in a prison that represents us it's members of the vfw then there's child in it no no absolutely not so what ends up happening is the they start saying hey listen there's a conduct and we're actually going to be removing people from this vfw inside the prison and eventually oh yeah there's so few people in it that they can't have a post so the post goes away oh no there was that many there was that many people that had like committed serious murders or the kid or smashed the kid's face in the concrete murder is one of those things where it's like who was the victim and what was the reason behind it because there are valid reasons to kill people there's never a valid reason to a kid or a woman there are valid reasons for murder but carry on one of them that i actually like i didn't side with his murder but like i sided with with uh the inmate he had gotten in like some sort of argument with a guy outside of a bar he went to his truck the guy came outside and then he turned around and like shot him in like an alleyway and then drove away the cops pulled him over he's like yeah i don't know what to do with him i don't know what to do with him i don't know what to do with him i killed him and but he owned up to it right him i'm like okay cool you fucked up maybe you're drunk maybe you're high it seems pretty cut and dry probably shouldn't have shot that guy you know and but you copped to it if he would have stayed and and talked to the cops he might have been able to sell it to him in a way where he would have gotten like a lesser charge i don't know about that i'm just saying like he owned up to what he did right he owned up to it yeah right and even though it was a murder okay so the guy that wrote uh one of the articles uh writes about it that i read writes another article in response to my video and he goes basically i have a piece of shit that he doesn't give a about and i took away the vfw from him he was like one of the tertiary third or fourth in like the chain of command like vice president assistant vice president whatever in the vfw and he goes on a little bit of a tant or a rant and it's just like you took away something good from him and it's just like you took away something good from him and it's like you took away something good from him and it's just like you took away something good from him and it's like you took away something good from him and it's just like you took away something good from him and it's just like you thought it was it's just like you thought it was good from us that guy uh we were doing great things doesn't talk about any of the chomos that were in the unit as like the vice president what was his charge his charge was he was a drug dealer and he killed like an 18 or 19 year old female college student because she was moving ecstasy like buying ecstasy from him and then he thought that she was snitching to the cops so we are after yeah no him and like tim and like two dudes like broke into her apartment and killed her no and then like fuck him yeah it's like it's not that's about even by like convict code which is scumbaggery it's bottom of the barrel morality uh no that's a big old no fuck him so so he tells me via his article that he writes which is like a month or two old now i was gonna do a video on it maybe i will again uh yeah that basically i'm scum because i took away his vfw the the dude who killed a little 18 year old girl because he was a drug dealer and he didn't want to get caught oh that dude thinks that you're scum yeah which i could give a shit timbers are shivered over here yeah i feel like he he also talks to like somebody in like the colorado press and i talked to this guy in the colorado press a little bit more of a story so this guy in this colorado news establishment is like hey can i call you up and talk to you about this thing your video that he did i was like sure so i talked to him about it and he goes you know like how do you feel about that i go well i feel like the vfw is retarded for doing that he's like oh interesting i was like you can quote me on that yeah it's retarded and and he did god bless him said it's retarded now what he did with the cop that shouldn't be listened to he's like oh he's controversial but then on this opposite side of the same coin it's like these guys in the vfw deserve a second chance murderers and child blah blah blah well here's the thing is that if they were serious about that shit they should have policed their own community in there boom and that is a major thing in prison is you are who you associate with yeah like it's birds of a feather flock together chimos and bows and punks and rats all have each other's backs like if you are in prison and you are in prison and you are sitting at the same table as a fucking child you are a fucking baby yeah if you're sitting at the table with somebody who women or kills women or children you are that person who you are who you associate with is a reflection of you so they should have had the fucking moral aptitude and the spine to have those people removed from those positions and in prison oftentimes since you don't go to the authorities about things what that means is you have somebody or you personally yourself take them off the yard which means you know if if you want to extort somebody into it you send a torpedo torpedoes are great you can call them a torpedo or crash test dummy you get somebody who's on a bad charge and you tell them hey check it out we are going to fucking give you extra breathing holes uh all throughout your neck uh and it's you're not going to be breathing through them for very long unless you go and do this here's what i want you to do you see that big old fat child fucking fuck over there go take flight on it on him and you don't have to win both of you just have to go to the hole just go and take flight do it right in front of the cops and then they both go to the hole and your problem is solved for a little bit and then by the time he gets out he's not going to have that we talked about the incentive program he just got a dr he's out for at least 18 months and if he ever gets back in you just rinse repeat they should have been policing their own community if they wanted to keep a community yeah i'm sorry but that's that's that is what it is he sounds like he is on some punk shit to me because i mean well look at his charge of course he's going to sympathize with people who kids and lock women in basements and them because he's on that same type of scumbag ass time that's you that's the prison view of it yeah i felt my two cents was that hey listen if you murder somebody but you cop up to it if you did a whole bunch of like you know stealing burglaries and bullshit but you're trying to get out even if you got like a life term for whatever like own your shit but when you've got a bunch of child in it and you're not policing your own you're like oh cool everybody coming to the vfw including like the guy that two eight-year-olds and then got caught with a bunch of child and dozens of kids used underwears like in his house when he got raided a couple years ago and that's what that's the time he's serving like maybe you should not have that guy maybe you shouldn't have the guy that bashes his girlfriend's kid's face like one year old 18 month old into the freaking concrete and then be like oh yeah it fell down the stairs and then when the medical examiners looked or they're like no this baby had its head the shit shaken out of it that its brain stem was removed from it like dislocated from itself is detached like look and i'm and i'm and then you're the back look at what this guy is like oh he ruined my vfw time and i'm like fuck you vfw looked at the situation was like oh yeah remove that that's i don't that's it like you know no business will want to be with individuals like that and then i'm assuming other veterans that were in prison with them probably didn't want to be part of that vfw class either and that's why that's why there's so contrary to popular belief there are a lot of gang members that are are like devout christians and like that no but they don't go to church because there's a saying in prison not everybody who goes to church is a chomo but all chomos go to church and people that are really about that life are not about to go sit with a vfw and they're not going to go to church because they're not going to go with a you know a wrist on this side of them and a fucking diaper sniffer on the other side of them they're just not going to do it yeah you know there's there's certain things that you avoid i liked it at snake river we we had a system where there were certain uh dudes with bad charges that were like they were allowed to go on the yard because they were paying gangs or whatever which isn't my personal politics you're not you you don't deserve sunlight or fresh air if you hurt a on the volleyball court so you'd see just all these weird looking coke bottle glasses triple chins like especially the ones that boys are like some of the most saddest turtle looking frog people i've ever seen bro like they're like it's it's funny because you know you can see it you guys at home can see it if you watch stuff like watch you know jd on and alex rossin's bus and chris hansen's bus you'll see that the people that are into young boys like they're they're mentally retarded bro yeah they're meant they're not mentally retarded they're not mentally retarded they're mentally all there uh do i feel bad for them no i don't i don't fuck them they should be executed but uh you know it's a real life thing that most of them are just completely fucked in the dome you know and then every once in a while you have like the the decent looking uh very charismatic you know youth pastor or teacher or something that but for the most part there's a look so when you see a volleyball sand pit volleyball court full of all these you guys want to play dungeons and dragons type motherfuckers it is hilarious to watch bro like one of them it'll be the first day and one of them's like out stumbling out towards the weight pile i think i'm gonna do some no bitch you're gonna go to that volleyball court get the fuck out of here before we fuck you up yeah nerds the fucking nerds the prison the prison nerds are chomos yeah yeah that's that's literally how it is bro it's fucking crazy fucking lot the prison is you were talking about baby shakers bro yeah there was a dude that uh he was all over the news in oregon he had shook a baby to death we knew he was coming we didn't know what what institution he'd land in because there's i i think maybe like 16 17 prisons in oregon last time i counted i don't know give or take they might have shut some down um but he ended up landing at the prison that i was at and he immediately asked for pc and the cops were like no baby shaker no and when he came on the you the the the block the cop announced what's pc for protective protective custody that's where they they put you in a solitary cell and you sit there and you fucking rot in a solitary cell and they you don't get a lot of access but it's still inmates making your food it's still inmates bringing you your food it's still inmates doing your laundry so they'll like put broken glass and human feces in their food they'll they'll put uh there's chemicals that they can put into your your laundry so that when you put it on it's fine but as soon as you sweat like the the moisture activates it and it gives you horrific chemical burns like sometimes they have to take you out to medical and you'll be walking across the control room floor and somebody will just take flight on your punk ass but this dude they refused him pc and announced that this is the baby shaker coming in right and so like everybody knew this dude was a baby shaker bro and he ended up falling up a flight of cement stage and he was like oh my god i'm gonna die let's just say tragedy it happens a lot and it's horrible he he he was super fucked up uh and and non-verbal when the cops came and took him out and they took him and they just took him to the hole they didn't even take his ass to medical they just oh he's on the floor all fucked up covered in his own blood looking retarded they dragged him to the hole he ended up dying of an aneurysm in the hole damn yeah not sad about that similar the way that the baby probably died yeah oh no yeah isn't that poetic though it is poetic poetic i just like all the guys were like what happened he fell up the stairs it's like the sound of a gravity the sound of a skull bouncing off cement i'm sure you've heard it i've done it to myself before yeah let me tell you it's not cool when it's yours it's cool when it's a baby shaker you can like it's like you have an out-of-body experience i bounced my face off the most unforgiving thing in the world which is black top yeah i've done that before and i thought i broke the whole side of my face and that was me falling over and I hit the pavement and that blacktop just jacked up my face so yes i i've i've dealt with that as a drummer i wish that i could go and record the sound of that dude's skull hitting the pavement and then have it like on on a fucking you know mixer yeah and so you should use it as an alternate snare drum like bro speaking of of of cops hitting their heads bro i like will always and forever i'm sorry deputy white when i escaped from county jail which it isn't as cool as it sounds because i did not get far and i was i was in the work release area right but they told me i needed to pack my shit up i'd been in work release for like months and deputy white was super cool to me he was always respectful he was super cool he told me and he's not supposed to he broke protocol to allow me to go pack my shit up he said delay you had a warrant come from portland from loma county we need to roll you up the rest of your time over in the in the county jail and then we're going to transport you to so i'm going to let you roll your own shit up and i was like okay bet so i went upstairs to my little room and i threw like my discman this is how long this ago this was in my cds and like three cartons of cigarettes into my backpack and snuck around the little guard station and made a bolt for the door when because they had to buzz you in and out when somebody got buzzed out as soon as the door opened i ran right past them and so they're running after me and they're running after me and i'm like right and then i see co's coming from the other direction from the jail like their response time was impeccable and i'm running and i run through a parking lot and to get in the parking lot you have to jump over these shrubs that are about yay high but there's a little tree with some landscaping wire running and deputy white a guy i genuinely like right behind me jumps and his foot hits the landscaping wire and he goes and i'm like i stopped and i'm like deputy white are you okay he goes just stop delay and i'm like no and i fucking start running i get to the other side of the parking lot and cop cars are pulling up opening the door raining down on me and i just throw my backpack in the air and i'm like i'm just playing let's go back to jail and i get down right and they put my hands behind my back they cuff me up one one co has his boot on the back of my head pushing my face into the pavement as hard as he can and like six of them just boot mosh the shit out of me bro just kick the shit out of me meanwhile there's a lot of people out there just witnesses because this is out right in front of like this restaurant and they're just boot moshing the shit out of me in front of all these civilians who are like they're like gasted bro and uh they take me and throw me in the hole and they come to me at like it's hard to tell the time in the hole but to me it felt like four in the morning i also probably had a really bad concussion and they're like hey if you sign this we won't press charges for escape and that's five years in prison and i'm like so i can go home and they're like yeah sure okay you can go home and i'm like what does this say i can't even read i'm so fucked up bro they fuck me up and they're like it just says that you're not gonna what is it rich if i'm chasing you and ass whoopings coming with me yeah dude no i'm not blaming them like i deserve to have my ass whooped for that and i and a cop got hurt bro a cop got hurt i didn't physically touch him but a cop got hurt because of my actions i i deserved an ass whooping i'm not complaining about that i'm just saying it's hard to read you know so like they're like it says that you're not going to sue us or try to press charges for excessive force and i'm like okay cool and so i signed this shit and i'm like can i pack up and go home they're like no stupid you're gonna stay here in the hole until we take you to portland to go face those charges and i was like shucks i just like i was gonna go home i'm gonna make it on foot i'm sure i will run as far as i can on your planning wasn't very good no dude no no that's i said i was a career criminal i didn't say i was good at it when that door opens i can make a run for it where am i going i haven't thought about that and it's it's funny because when i went to prison in oregon it was after that and they still let me go on outside work crews so i go from being in a maximum security prison where i'm sleeping with a tiny shank under my pillow and shit and like i'm ready to flush that bitch if i hear the doors crack and it's a co there so i don't get a three to five year charge for having a blade and then they they move me to a minimum and the day after they move me there they're dropping me off in a park with a chainsaw and i'm like that's a change bitches i love chainsaws you know what i'm saying like let's actually go let's fucking go i'm like i'm like i got a big girl that could drop off tobacco and liquor in these bushes for me so that we could get drunk while we're out here and smoke lots of cigarettes i was like this is great but it was like a culture shock but they let me go on the cruise with that on my record but when i got to florida i was just in a county jail and they had work crews that were going out and i applied and they were like no you're denied and i'm like why the fuck am i denied bro like and they're like oh you had a you had an escape and i'm like no no i signed a paper i signed a paper they're like you i'm like fuck god damn it you running around with a chainsaw is just like doing that reminds me of like giving like a 17 18 year old brand new private like any sort of yeah equipment to like hey go mow the lawn over there here's a chainsaw to get done some branches and they're like oh you're like go go private well i've bro i've worked for tree services and shit i know how to run a wood chipper or a chainsaw but did i tell you guys the last time i was here did i tell you guys the story about how we we made a dude stuff a dead bird's head in his oh i'm drawing a blank yeah i don't believe i've heard this story before i'm on that work crew and we're working in parks and there was one dude on the work crew that we didn't like because he was he was a snitch and so nobody fucked with him nobody trusted him but i had a big girl that was dropping off uh tobacco and alcohol in the bushes and then we would pack it up like me and me and uh the south side or wedo we would pack it up into you know plugs for everybody else to stick up their ass and bring back into the side themselves and then they would get in there and they would open it up and they would split it in half they got to keep half of everything they brought in there we got the other half so that we were in there smoking the whole time that we're there yeah you know and selling cigarettes for canteen we we had multiple people's boxes full of food and shit like that we were balling out on tobacco tobacco was my hustle in prison so this dude that's a snitch keeps he knows we're doing some shit but we're not telling him and he keeps begging he's like please let me in i really want to smoke and finally wedo one day is like hey i found a dead bird and i'm like okay he's like let's make him put this up his ass i'm like dog that thing's too big he's like i'll cut its head off so he uses pruning shears to cut his head off and he fucking i'm just mentioning pd from dumb and dumber tape what'd you do with pd i took care of it pretty bird pretty bird the head falls it up in two sandwich bags just like we would with tobacco and then takes the finger of a glove you wraps it around wraps takes another finger wraps it around the other side ties it up tight takes it to the dude and tells him look you got to give us half when you get back in the institution or we'll never fuck with you again right and we're all on the same unit so we get back to the unit and he goes to the bathrooms and everybody's like standing outside the stall just listening just we're all just like enthralled we're like yes this dude's got a dead bird in his ass he's to a bird bro screamed i will never forget his scream i cannot hit that pitch dog he screamed like a full-on female and freaked out we hear the toilet flush he steps out and wedo's like where's our half bro and he's like he's a piece of shit we ended up getting him kicked off the work crew too it was cool i mean prison life is a little different than i'm used to well no it almost sounds like barracks type shit it's like we're gonna make this dude do this yeah it's like he he's got crabs we're gonna make him light half his pubes on fire and oh does that go with the crabs it gets ready to go to big lighter that dude prison's wild dude prison sounds just like barracks life though i mean prison is terrible and it's stupid and i hate i hate to admit it on the internet i always try to let people know how like how degrading and disgusting it is and how it's your own fault and how you're leaving your family hang like literally you're leaving your family hanging you're damaging your family like you're damaging your community it's not it does it's not a rite of passage it doesn't make you a man it means you were a fucking scumbag and you were sloppy enough to get caught but the part i don't talk about on the internet because i'm not trying to encourage motherfuckers to do it's also kind of fun and hilarious sometimes it'll be like 90 boredom and then there'll be like eight percent fun and then two percent extreme violence so it sounds exactly like it's just like boot camp barracks life god i demand the fucking wild to me i'm like that sounds terrible all of it it's like the japanese prisons when you uh read how they operate they are perfectly clean no one's out of line and they have the most simple punishment when you fuck up or doing no birds and buttholes no birds and buttholes tell me what's the punishment yeah oh so they are very strict so you have to keep your self-esteem and your self-esteem and everything you do extremely organized like your shoes go in a place everything goes in a place and it has to be there every time a ceo comes by talks to you anything and you get in line you walk in that perfect line and they they do not deviate from those lines and when you uh when they talk about oh why does everyone behave so well it's like oh well if uh if they fuck up or let's say their shoes are out of place or even a pencil is not in the right place they have to self-reflect it's like okay well what's that mean oh well you just have to sit in the you know traditional like samurai on your knees this oh well you sit there for it can be a one week to a month oh fuck me that's it you are expected from when you rise tell you go to bed to sit and you cannot get up on your knees in that position and stare at the wall and they don't give you a time frame starts at a week and then it can go to a month and even further they're like so yeah you're like oh well you just have to sit in the you know traditional like samurai on your knees what do they do if they don't oh uh do you know how their executions work even i've i've seen like a thing where it's like a guy in a room and they go in and behead somebody i don't know it's a hanging but they don't even they don't even tell you when you get executed that's another thing if you're on uh what is it death row death row there is no telling you the date the time it is they will just come to your room and walk you to the little hanging room and you just hang and then they leave wild when you see how they operate their system it's like whoa so wait if you don't if you don't reflect they hang you i actually let's see what happens right because like if you're like get my shoes are off and they're like you need to reflect for a week and you're like fuck you i'm not going to what's that movie with uh jared leto the where he's a world war ii veteran do you know what i'm yeah yeah he he becomes like a gangster he's like becomes yakuza afterwards no no no i know what you're talking about yeah like he he stays in japan and ends up becoming like a yakuza yeah he ends up like killing one of his former dudes that he worked with like one of the officers that he worked with i need to watch i don't think i've seen that one dude you're so heavy into like japanese stuff and you haven't seen that one no it's fucking cool is it a cool movie it's actually is a cool jared you say leto i say leto jared leto is a leto whatever he he's good as a secondary character because he's he plays a person you can hate very well but yeah i i would i'm hesitant to watch him in a movie where he's the main character just because he doesn't he can't carry a movie on its own morbius and yeah it's a fucking cool movie show what's what what is that movie with jared leto the outsider yeah yeah because he's in because he's hot and he's in japan yeah because he's the outsider good job show so if we take the reins from savannah when doesn't know what she's doing typing in shit in bing probably have you seen that jd i haven't the outsider would uh jared leto leto i say leto i don't know i had a bad i had a bad experience with him so i just sort of wrote him off tell me more about your experience with jared leto i mean it wasn't even necessarily my bad experience it was a young girl's bad experience that i knew when he came through and did the pre-fontaine movie in eugene oregon he did one of my friends really dirty uh and kicked her out of a hotel room without her clothes and she narrowly escaped without getting assaulted so i just from then on out i was like fuck jared leto you know well that was a random story so allegedly allegedly allegedly she gets kicked out of a room with jared jared's like you're not getting your clothes bitch you yeah he wanted to go farther than she wanted to go uh and blood sacrifice likely he's a demon i mean and now it makes a lot of sense all these allegations that are coming out because it's something that oh are there allegations i don't know there's so many allegations right now he had that weird island thing anytime a rich white dude has an island and he did this like cult experience you can come be in jared leto's cult and everybody's wearing white robes and shiloh buff did a similar thing with his acting uh classes yeah yeah so it was like this this leto fucking island experience i just don't trust white people that own islands at this point bro yeah like shiloh buff did some crazy shit i knew a guy that was an actor is still an actor and he shiloh buff was having some sort of acting class thing going on and it wasn't a cult but it was ran very cultish so these people paid money to get trained by shiloh buff and it was like this acting course and shiloh buff would you know teach them how to act there was the normal seas of acting right but surrounding the acting and in between he would be like extremely manipulative to them and like talk down to them and try to get them to submit to his like knowledge power or whatever and the guy that i knew was like six six and not small and shiloh buff isn't that tall and you know shiloh buff was like fuck you you want to buy you know it's like trying to like intimidate him and he's just like okay okay little fella um was this years ago yeah it was years ago this is this is an old story about yeah that's why i think like six years plus there was a period i know he john berth also one that like gave him a reality check i believe yeah is that the punisher yeah that he was like hey you're being a piece of shit you need like during um the brad pitt movie fury yeah was it during fury babe oh that's when they were all together yeah shy him brad pitt and the other guy that survived fury i know he helped him later and then he had him on the podcast yeah that's when shiloh buff also talks about like being a piece of shit he was like yeah i had an ego my childhood blah blah blah i start taking accountability for shit well he you guys know tom hardy is terrified of shiloh buff and tom hardy's a big dude and he is you know what i'm saying he's why is he afraid of shiloh buff so they did that movie lawless that was about the bonder up bonder root brothers yeah and i guess shiloh buff flipped out on him and came very close to attacking him and tom hardy is just like i don't fuck with that dude that dude freaks me out i don't fuck with that dude he's like i'll never be in another room with that dude i don't like we we finished the movie and outside of filming our scenes i was not around him i don't want him anywhere around me he he scares me and i was like watching this interview of this dude who's like plays badass like you're bane bro you're not allowed to be afraid of little men what he's also like a bjj like yeah yeah he's very good i think he's a brown belt he's brown i think that's what it is he fights a lot what is that new old show the bernthal that's one of the funniest people i've ever met in my life like i i would think the hall see that one yeah drop that one he's been doing it to me for the last two days straight all right and i've been letting you slide dropping all these names i had to do at least one let me tell you that was comedy perfection because i was i was gonna do it i was gonna do it and you started looking over and we both looked over that was perfect i just thought you were looking at my dick again not again also fuck all of you we love you cody that was perfect timing the two of us oh it's so good what is that new show that that fucking uh tom is in that's the the british gangster show if you guys watch that rosnan and yeah if you guys haven't watched that yeah the gentleman yeah i haven't watched it i should watch it yeah i haven't watched that one oh just real quick so consequences for breaking rules prisoners may lose visitation rights personal belongings access access to the prison store and work assignments uh serious or repeated infractions lead to placement in a punishment cell is that japan yeah i don't know what a punishment cell well it's like the hole bro it's solitary you need to fish heads and they call it the punishment hole and this is harsh conditions and limited contact be like you got to go watch the outsider tony knows a lot about the punishment hole cool that one i yeah and it's after world war ii yeah okay i'll watch that one so he's a soldier that that gets arrested in japan and it's it's kind of cool i'll watch that one later put it on the list when you are in like boot camp or the army like whatever the case may be what are the punishments if you fuck up there do they have like solitary confinement do they have like loss of privilege if you go to jail yes your article 15s you'll get punished you have like 7 day 14 day and 30 to 60 day right so what what is it what does it entail when you get lop do they call it lop loss of privilege no they have different you have jail army jail which is you fucked up yeah army jails yeah but that's actually every jail is a very bad if you actually break a law yes that's not just big rock to little rock you are doing manual labor yeah so like like in prison there's there's different procedures that you could do like outside of solitary confinement solitary confinement fucking blows bro it sucks but it's absolutely necessary because there are genuinely evil people and they're doing genuinely evil shit so like i'm not complaining i went to solitary multiple times i deserved it every time accountability yada yada yada but like they also have if it's a lower level infraction they give you loss of privilege uh they call it lop and that you have to sit on your bunk and you you can only leave your bunk if you have to go to the bathroom or if you're going to a a call out where they have you like going to an appointment uh or if you are going to chow other than that you're sitting on your bunk the entire time if you're in a dorm you're in your cell the entire time if you're in a cell uh block type situation god time would go so slow it does go super slow i've i've done a little bit of time on lop for sure um and so sometimes they'll do like a step down where you do like you know four months in the hole and then you do three months on lop afterwards and so you're like it feels like absolute freedom you're like i'm not in a solitary confinement i'm in a normal cell and i'm allowed to have my top ramen and read books that aren't the bible this is the best thing ever guys you oh yeah imagine spending months at a time in just a cement room with a bed and a toilet that has a sink on top and all you can read is the bible and they bring you like the old king james and you're like fuck oh another good movie count of monte cristo oh yeah this is great it's one of my favorite books yeah it's solid fantastic book and also we read nice a good movie it's one of my that is such a good movie we need to watch really cool the not not the like the old ones really good yeah henry cavill young henry cavill yeah he's the son really yeah well oh the the bastard son that uh yeah ends up like being his like the prisoner son for the it's his son the main character's son that had out of wedlock yeah yeah yeah she had a little age yeah she what's it uh what's what's his uh woman's name oh my gosh i'm blanking on it it's been you a couple years since i last read it not valentine you you've seen the movie though well i've read the book like i've read the book several times i haven't seen the movie yeah but he plays he plays um uh oh my gosh he plays the count of monte cristo's lover his love's son right from the marriage that yeah happened after he was sent away from the bastard the asshole that sent him away to prison to get rid of him so that he can marry the girl okay yeah at the end of the book he's basically just hey go on a ship and figure your life out like i did come back and maybe you can have some money yeah he spends uh what made me think of that like jd was talking about being in like solitary confinement in the movie he's i think he spends what 10 years with nothing in his cell the count yeah yeah and then he then he meets the guy in the cell next to him his celly yeah because the celly goes to the wrong hole he's like oh yeah fuck man i've gone to the wrong yeah his celly was trying to tony his celly was trying to tunnel out the other way and he accidentally ends up in his cell and so he's freaked out he's like what the fuck this dude just tunnels up through his cell old guy yeah but he he spent like it was like 10 to 15 years there just looking at a wall like with nothing then they start teaching reading writing how to fight all that yeah and then he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die it's such a good movie man it's such an underrated movie that no one watches anymore in the book it's the count of monte cristo actually meets his the guy that teaches him what to do because he they like talk through like a hole in the wall like there's like a hole and they like start talking after a while he's like they're both basically political prisoners for no reason and then the count who's not the count at the time but he digs to through the wall or digs another hole to get to his uh buddies adjoining celly and he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die then he teaches him everything during that time they also he assists him in burrowing out but then what ends up happening is he has like a big seizure and he's just like i'm not for this world like they're gonna kill like i'm gonna die um figure figure it out bud try to try to save yourself he's like okay so he used the body he dies you know and in the count's arms counts like fuck my friend but then it's also like i can use this and then they take the guy they put him in like shiplap and then he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die tie it up and they're just gonna throw him off the fucking yeah rock island and he pretends like he's he's the corpse he changes himself with the corpse and throws the corpse in his room and gets thrown off and then mixes so that's still billions of dollars that's still like the the movie then because that's still how that has one of my favorite parts of the book is uh the count of monte cristo was just like how long is the travel to so-and-so's place a day and a half then i shall take my slumber pills and he and and like it's described as he pulls out a sat fire that's like bigger than his palm that he had hollowed out that he just like flicks an opening for it there's a bunch of sleeping pills in it so the count's like so loaded he's like ah a sat fire the size of a golf ball hollow it out just carve it out so i can put my pills in it i mean he's in that movie when he buys the fucking estate yeah he walks up he's like this is not for sale he's like man it's a one treasure chest out of like 15 and he goes like okay it's it's yours and then he comes in on a balloon yeah yeah and the movie yeah he comes in an air and a hot air balloon yeah what kills me is everyone the entire movie like he keeps talking to people and they're like how do you know this he's like well napoleon told me that yeah napoleon bonaparte told you that he's like yeah and no one believes him the entire time he's like no it actually fucking happened god so that's a cool napoleon i might know a dude so that that actually holds up because even today they're still they talk through vents in the wall yeah in there that's what's happening right now to brian coberger uh he's in solitary confinement but everyone around him coberger the dude who killed those four college students in idaho in idaho oh that's he broke into a house a sorority house oh yeah and murdered these little girls while they were fucking asleep three girls and one of the girls boyfriend yeah and uh so he thought he was some genius like master level dude nobody is we still nobody has any idea why he chose them as victims he refused to tell anybody he's just a weird narcissistic crazy dude like all these bitches on the internet be like my ex is a narcissist you wouldn't be on the internet saying that if he was because he'd kill you calm down becky but this dude's like that real life dude and he's a tiny man inside i thought he was tall i thought he was tall no but i mean on the inside oh like he's small on the inside yeah like those those victim impact panels with the families of those girls particularly the sister uh and the mom like that sister must be a fucking therapist or a psychologist because the things she said to that dude like she did a psychological workup on this dude and just degraded him in the most effective shit i've ever seen in a courtroom i was gasping i was like yes get him question for you how do they treat someone like that in prison because they hate them bro they're torturing him right now they can't get to him physically so yeah they're through the vents they're keeping him up all hours of the night they're literally people are working shifts to keep him up and they're they're telling him what's going to happen to him they're telling him you know as soon as we can get our hands on you we're going to fucking you with a splintered broomstick we're going to fucking stab you we're going to kill you and they're just they're mentally and psychologically torturing him which is what you do when you can't get your hands on a person i was in the hole for a while and they put me next to a child and i had literally nothing to do so i made it my life's mission to try to get this dude to hang it up i wanted him to epstein right so i'm like he tried to influence him i'm doing like it was influencing i'm doing like little kids voices adam and shit like why did you take my childhood away like just non-stop 24 7 going at this dude through the vents fucking this dude up bro and and then eventually i got to where like i'm like you know what's going to happen when you get out of here man like it's it's going to be bad like look i'm being a friend here you just you should just end it bro and you should just end it and he tried and fucked it up and the guards the ceos found him trying and they took him to a button achy cell for 72 hours all they do if they if you try to it's like if you go to a guard in there a ceo and you tell him man i'm just having this ideation and i'm really struggling mentally i really need some help they're like cool we got you cuff up and they take you to a cell where they strip you butt naked and there's nothing in your cell except a camera pointing at you and they keep you there for observation for three days and then they're like okay cool you're better and they brought him right back to the cell next to me again i was like lit i'm gonna get right back to it dude you know what that makes me think of have you watched the matthew mcconaughey um true detective yeah remember he's sitting he's you should just yourself yeah the first opportunity you have just yourself you do a great matthew mcconaughey do you guys know how to talk like matthew mcconaughey no dude do i need benzos okay so you don't touch your teeth with your tongue you don't you should just oh my god yeah i was like wait don't put your teeth to your chin i did a soft i did a soft country accent and then and then i didn't getting older and they just stay the same age you should just i started watching that that's right that's mcconaughey and woody harrelson right yeah yeah yeah the first season is amazing oh watch that the first season skip the second season skip all of them you said last time it's just the first one was good the first one's amazing the female one was okay but the other two fell way short yeah he actually matthew mcconaughey's character reminds me of you kind of in that first one well all right he just drinks the beer and it's all oh i can't say anything because you haven't watched it yeah you'll binge watch it's very good it's there's a couple ones we need to watch do you know who taught me how to do the matthew mcconaughey voice it was a it was a uh congressman that taught me how to do that you guys you guys are assholes i still haven't caught up to you doing it to me yet but i'm an asshole you guys are assholes was his name tony we can name drop tony without doing that to each other like this is why i'm not talking right now everyone's like why doesn't cody talk this is exactly why i bully ethan 10 times more than you get bullied on this thing and ethan doesn't shut the fuck up so you can absolutely talk more it's just a mind over matter thing so i like i don't i don't i'm not making this claim myself but sources have said that tony actually has a prolapsed anus that looks like a fucking meat sock bro uh and that he can actually golf with it that it hangs so low like i'm not sure if that's true sources sources have sources have said that his prolapsed anus looks like a carp's mouth yeah i don't make the face please that made it way worse richard's like a carp's mouth yeah just imagine a carp's mouth like extending like intestine and then picking up a golf ball and then like swallowing it up into the he calls it his little rose oh god that's why i can't drink four roses that's the reason yeah i went to a scary mirror thing at a at a carnival and tony pulled down his pants and i saw four roses hey speaking of which have you guys ever looked at your own assholes as very little as possible but have you have you ever seen it i realized that's the one part of my body i'd never seen as much as i've seen it in my life i've never seen it in my life i've never seen it in my gooch in my asshole so literally just talked about it's like the worst thing to last episode we started it with being the worst thing to look at yeah it is the worst of god's creation is a man's butthole i looked at my own bro i literally like i put a mirror on the floor and i heard this before hop to the squat and got the right angle don't ever do that by the way i've not been the man since yeah it's it's not a good thing god this is okay i didn't realize you guys had just talked about this no i was just speaking for personal experience if you bend over and look at it like spread your cheeks and look at it from like in the bathroom mirror you'll get an idea of what it's like to be tony gonzalez yeah or a correctional officer i've told this story before i think guys the count of money cristo is a great movie thank you thank you there could be assholes in it too whoa well okay so i went to uh this is a couple years ago i went to scare right and he went to the restroom i was like oh surprise autistic kid so i went to the bedroom and i was like i'll cover myself up in a sheet and i'll like he made a mess so i like covered myself in the sheet and i hear him walk in the room he's like okay i'll wait for the tablet to turn on and then i'll and i'm waiting i'm like okay i think he can't i don't maybe he didn't come in i swore i heard him walk in no tablet though huh and i go like this and i like lift my shit up i'm like what and he has pulled the mirror out no it was his tablet and he had the camera on reverse and he was squatting over it looking at his butthole i was like what the fuck and he's like oh why are you in here no shame i was like what no huh not turning the table what are you doing he's like making sure my butthole is clean it's like daddy can't be mad i was like oh that's proper hygiene i guess are you don i love him so i did not need to know about your cleaning ritual nope i did not but i also didn't have to break into your room to try and scare you it's kind of a wash right there dude my my mom caught my brother trying to fart on a candle one time just okay she walked into her room and like he had a candle up to his like right up to his asshole he's probably like 11 what are you doing yeah what are you doing trying to solder this thing closed mom trying to get that fire i think on that note cody you can close this out bye everyone thanks for joining the unsubscribed podcast i was joined by eli double tap angry cops jd delay myself donut operator thank you guys for hanging out we love you it's all very sexual tony fuck you you