Andy Daly Returns

(upbeat music) - Hi, my name is Andy Daly, and I feel-- (upbeat music) - At peace about being Conan O'Brien's friend. - Well, I got news for you, shouldn't I? - I don't really. - 'Cause I'm gonna rock your world today. You're gonna leave here a show. - Yeah, I know, I already feel that. (upbeat music) ♪ Fall is here here now ♪ ♪ Back to school ♪ ♪ Ring the bell ♪ ♪ Bend issues ♪ ♪ Walking loose ♪ ♪ Climb the fence ♪ ♪ Hooks and pans ♪ ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ - Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Sona is not with us. Today she's on an extended vacation. I think it's gone on quite a long time, but she's in Hawaii. She's having a great time. Of course, not me, here, holding down the fort while she gallivants and probably promotes her new book, which she'll be talking about soon here on the podcast. But I am sitting here with Matt Gourley, no vacation for you. - Yeah, wait a minute. - You can't go on vacation. - Why not? - Well, because you have a new born. - Yeah. - Well, pretty new born, six months now. - Almost six months. - Oh, by the time this comes out. - Six months, yeah. - Okay, yeah. - And we will have already gone on vacation by the time this comes out. - Now, where do you go? Sona went to Hawaii, where are you gonna go? - We're going to Carpentaria, which. - Beautiful. Carpentaria, California. I spend a lot of time up there. I love it. - Beautiful place. - It is gorgeous. - Wonderful people. - Chill vibe. - Yeah. - David, you're never to go on your David Hopping is filling in for Sona. David, you were never to go on vacation. You know that it's in your contract. - Yeah, I don't know why I didn't read the contract. - Where would you go? - Well, you can't read, David. That's one of the reasons. - But I knew I should learn. - Yeah, it's still time. - Yeah. And I've been all over the place, traveling a lot. The Mick Jagger interview, which was just such a bucket list thing for me, came out a couple of weeks ago. I'm so happy about that. And I went to London for that, because when one has a chance to interview Mick Jagger, you go to the mountain. - Yeah. - You go to Mick Jagger, and so I went there, and I was really envying one thing about London. - What's that? - I was walking around and I was noticing that people dress like adults, and people were wearing jackets, and it was starting to heat up a little bit. It wasn't too hot yet, but I'd been to London and other times of the year, where it's chilly, it's crisp air, people wearing pee coats. People were dressed like James Bond and a James Bond. - I know. - With the guys dress up, the women look great. People are wearing clothing. - We align on this. - Yes, and then I come back to LA, and I'm gonna say it right now, I'm looking around the room, looking at you first of all. You look like your mom just dressed you for summer camp. I'm wearing a t-shirt. - You have a Han Solo jacket on. - Yeah, yeah, at least I have that. No, I'm trying to put on some kind of clothes, 'cause I don't wanna just walk around. Here, you could bump into, I don't care, what station of life they're in. Everybody is just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and big puffy sneakers. And then you ask them, you don't even have a-- - Did you wear your big puffy sneakers? - I know, I don't want to bring up here. They're too big, first of all, to get up there. - Okay, but sneakers in general, and I just think, I don't wanna spend my days like this. And so I'm starting to think that maybe I should just start wearing suits around, but this heat-- - It just looks ridiculous, too hot. - It's not just the heat. It's something else-- - No, I'm saying it just, but that, even if you want it to. - Forget the heat, forget the heat for a second, because yes, it's gonna be hot for a couple of months in the summer, but most of the year, it's 72 degrees here. You can wear a light suit, can't you? Why aren't we doing that? Why aren't we dressing like adults? - Whoa, take it as your children. - I feel like I act like a child, because I'm dressed like a child. - Wait a minute, in New York, I act like a child as well. Okay, scratch that, but I do wanna start wearing a pea coat, and I wanna walk around, and I want to meet people for a gin cocktail, you know, it's like five o'clock in the afternoon, right? - Well, you're an angle file. - You like all this stuff. - Yeah, yeah. - I know, but don't you, I mean, I know you're a bond fanatic. Wouldn't you like to dress a little better than you do? - 100%, I wanna wear a sweater any day of the week, but you can't here, you just can't. I get really irritable when I'm hot, and I can't do it, you know. So we're seeing you when you're not irritable? - They fuck you, man. - Okay, all right, I'm glad I get Mr. Sunshine here. - I think if I could offer a different opinion about why people dress like they do in LA, I think a lot of people in LA are very concerned about their appearance, and they work out a lot. So I think they want to show off their hot bodies. - Oh, really? - Yes, I think that people are wearing a lot of tank tops, they wear a lot of shorts, they wanna show off their glutes and their pants, and their bison. - I'm not sure that's it. I will tell you this, when we, I did the show for many years in New York, Rockflower Center, with Jeff Ross, he wore a suit every day. And then we came out here, and he was still the producer of our show, and the next thing I know, you know, he's wearing granemals. You know, I don't know, you know what I mean? He's, you know, and he's, he's got those sneakers that don't have laces through the wall. - You're gonna bring those? - Well, it just drove me crazy. You know what I mean? This guy fought in the Korean War, and he's, and I'm just wondering what the fuck happened? He, the minute we got here, he was here like 10 minutes, and all adult clothing went away. And he was writing home letters to his parents, saying we went on a canoe trip today, and I'm like, what happened to us? - If you had it your way, would you be in a bowler hat? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not a bowler hat, not a bowler. - A peak coat and maybe some boots. - Yeah, or just, I mean, you can get a lighter suit. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am, you know, of an age. - I agree, I agree. - And I think that sometimes the clothes inform your attitude. And maybe, you know, I'm a guy with grown children, and I'm still walking around, you know, dressed like I work at a bowling alley. What are we, what are we doing? What are we doing? - What are we doing? - The chain starts with you, you know? That's what they told me, that class I told you. - Should we do like a team cocoa, like shopping trip, where we all buy-- - And then charge it to the show. - Charge it to the show. - Yeah, I think we should just, we make Jeff Ross. - Or should we just start with that? - Ooh. - This isn't about me. I'm realizing now this is about Jeff Ross. - Yeah, I feel like an extreme makeover situation. - I just think it's time that we started. You know, what happened to that? Why did we, you know, and, and Blay, I'm sorry, but, you know, you say it's all about our bodies, but you don't have to wear a who farted t-shirt, you know? - Yeah, okay, okay, okay. - It's very tough. - First of all, to defend myself here. Defend yourself. - Go into attacking. - Go to youtube.com/chimecoco, and look at every rehearsal video you were in, which is you wore the same Guinness t-shirt for like 25 years. - I know, I know, and you know what? That was just because I think Guinness is an amazing product. - Okay. - And if they want to send me some free Guinness, that's their business. - I think first, they say free Guinness, but whatever. That's not the reason I'm saying anything about Guinness. - That's hard to say, but can I just point out the fact? If you look at like all the billionaires, like look at Bezos. This guy's just wearing a t-shirt, and like none of the, none of the richest people in the world are dressed up. They're just wearing t-shirts. - That's my point. - That's my point is weekbrows are here. - The tech bros aren't, so maybe everyone is dressed up. - This makes me, this makes me, and I think the tech bros, I have no problem with them having most of the world's money and spending it eating bald eagles. That's their matter. That's their concern. You gotta let the free market do its thing, okay? But when they walk around and they're wearing these gap t-shirts and cargo shorts, I think they're letting the side down. - The West has been casual Friday. - Yes, the entire Western civilization has been casual Friday. And I think we need to pull it back. - I agree. - And maybe this starts to lead to better behavior. Maybe there'll be more consideration for others. Maybe people will start to have better manners. I mean, this might inform, and I'm not talking about, you don't have to spend a lot of money to change the style of dress a little bit, you know? I mean, maybe people accused me of being in a bubble, but I don't think a proud of suit could cost that much, and everyone should have one. Just kidding. That was a fun joke for me. I enjoyed it. You see, I said I'm not in a bubble, and then what I did is reveal that I am in a bubble. - But no, yes, play. - I completely agree. I think, you know what, I think if you, I think if you look good, you feel good. - Oh, okay, that's crazy. I don't believe that at all. - But it's because to start with you, if you want to see that you got to be the world change, you want to see that. - You have to be, and then glad you brought this up, if I was talking to Oprah the other day. (laughing) And she said, "Konan, you need to be the change you want to see." And I said, "Okay, maybe I'll use it on the pod." - So on a day like today where it's 90 degrees, you would wear a pure focus about the weather. - You're just saying, you can't tell it. - If you want to do it, you can, you just sweat a lot. I'm that serious about it. I want to get a big long tweet coat. I'll get him with this one. That doctor who might wear it. - Oh, yeah. - Not a doctor who, guys. - Oh, wow, I'm discerning. (laughing) - I'm gonna discerning consumer of bullsheddery. - He traveled in a phone booth. Anyway, it's a tardis, dude. - What's that? - It's a tardis. - He's not a phone booth. It's a tardis. - It's a tardis. - Isn't it a phone booth? - Quips to him. - No, it's in the, it looks like a phone booth. - This is angrier on the inside than the outside. - Here is angrier as someone would be in like a drive-by shooting, but you're a bit, because I misidentified the phone booth that the goofy science fiction doctor gets into. - It's a tardis. - Please wrap this up. - I'm gonna wrap this up. (laughing) - He wears a suit, by the way. Doctor, who wears a suit. - Interesting, yeah. - I, what I need to do, I guess, is start dressing. like I'm James Joyce, it's 1915, I live in Dublin, and it's January, and I need to start doing that near the Mexican border, okay, and I need to do that. I just need to own that and do it, and so I need to do it. And I will do it. - Well, I look forward to that next time I record, you'd be coming in sweating, yeah. - Okay, I will. All right, let's get into this. My guest today is an actor and comedian who hosts the Andy Daily Podcast Project, which is available exclusively on his Patreon. I'm gonna need to make something clear. I think pound for pound, you can't be funnier than Andy Daily, I just adore the man and he's been involved in so many of my projects over the years, and he's been in so many great iconic television series, and he makes me really happy. Thrills here. Andy Daily, welcome. - I'm gonna start very quickly by telling you that here it comes, first of all. - I was shocked. When the Daily Show first came on, he sued the Daily Show. He said that they had stolen his name. - Well, they did. - No, we put an eye in it to make it sound like it's a show that's happening every day. - It was a show that happened every day and still is. I thought that was one of the most craven things you've ever done, and he's-- - Because I said they don't agree. - He got six million dollars, and he's been pretty much living off of it. - He's also sued like one day, Daily Supplement. - Yes, Brands. - Oh, yes, that's right. - Most supplement brands can't aren't safe anymore because so much money has to be, that would normally go into research and development, go to Andy Daily. - Yeah. - It's terrible what you've done. - It's not terrible because people, I don't want people to think that I'm responsible for those vitamins. I have nothing to do with them. - Okay, but it's spelled differently. - If I wanna come out with my line of vitamins, which I'm very well-mighted. - Daily Daily, it's gonna say Daily Daily. - Take your Daily Daily. - Yeah, I can't have it confused with everything else on the market. - It's fair. - I'm gonna make perfect sense. - I'm gonna make it clear right now. Andy Daily is one of my favorite people. - Stop it. - I'm gonna just say it. - No. - I'm gonna say just a little more. - Just a little more. - No. - Very funny. - Stop it. - We used you like a pack mule on my different late night shows over the years to do really funny things. - Okay. - Just, you're just not a compliment. - Also, listen, no, but like a pack mule, were you funny? No. But you can carry very heavy loads in very dry temperatures for a long time. At very narrow canyon in clients. - I was concerned coming in here that you were gonna pay me too many compliments. - No, no, no, no, that's it. - Oh, Karen. - But, you know, every time you're on something, whether it's Silicon Valley, Vee, modern family, Black-ish, you show up in so many great comedies, you're always excellent. Now that's it for the nice stuff. Now we get into the real stuff. - Because you know what happened last time I was here? You paid me so many compliments and I was just basking in them. - I'm really enjoying them. It was a great moment for me. And then at the end of it, you said, "And is there anything you'd like to say back to me?" It was like, and you had nothing. - I had, I really had a work. - Yeah, no, I remember, I went back and listened to that. Nothing. 'Cause I've asked many guests. I mean, I just interviewed Mick Jagger for an hour. - I know. - And I listened back to it 40 minutes of the interview with Mick Jagger is me demanding to know what he thinks about me. - Okay. - And it wasn't good. - Do you know, I listened to his interview with The New York Times and I think he kind of sub-tweeted you because somehow they got onto the topic of comedians. And he said, "You know, there's some comedians who are just always on, they can't stop." He said, he didn't mention you by name, Conan. - And you sure you were talking to Mick Jagger or was that an old British semen in 1780? - He's proving Jagger's point. - Do I need to work on my Jagger impression? That's literally the first time we've ever tried to impersonate Mick Jagger. - No, I thought I was in the room with him again. - I really did. - Very good. - Oh, I'll tell you something. - Right. - Supposed, post-traveling, no if the traveling, no if for me. - Pardon me? - No, I'm just sort of taking it back by anyone, but Jagger impression just now. - That was my Jagger. - Oh, it was? - And I just talked to him. - Oh, I had it wrong. - For an hour. - Okay. - Humble, man. - That's not a humble brag. That's just a brag. Shut up, Conan, talking to himself. - Well, it could have been more than an hour. - Oh, Shazbot. - Oh. - Mark's back. - Yeah. - Let me tell you something. - All right. - You're funny. You're fast, you're a chameleon, but who are you really? I've known you many years, and you know what? There's no one in there. - That's a good question, 'cause we're friends. - Yeah. - And I don't know if I know you. - Well, exactly. - You're friends with Gourley? - Yeah, Gourley and I are buddies. - Aim, hire. (laughing) - You're a zing. - I'll go alongside on that. - You could do better. - You know, I know. - I know, I think. - I know, 'cause I was a great director. But that was Ilya Kazing, is what I gave him right there. And I think that was worth going back for. (laughing) - I love a joke that you first have to give a preamble lecture on who and what the subject did. - Of course. - Maybe people, many people don't like him because he ratted out some other artists. - Yeah, you almost got blacklisting. But anyway. - I saw you self-added. That's gonna hurt the ultimate punchline. - Well, let's take a digression into the blacklist there. - I'll tell you something. Again, back to this theme. Andy Daley is the comedy pack meal. You're so good at, again, carrying dry goods, beef jerky through desert climbs. But also, you're a shapeshifter, you're always funny. You're an always funny fella. - I did once, I was once offered a role in something that wasn't much on the page and my agent told me like, but this is what you're good at. When there's not much on the page, you can really bring something. And I thought that's a bad reputation to have. Like offer me parts that are poorly written or underwritten or just no good at all. - Yeah. - And this guy can do something with it. - So you'll probably end up in bad for a lot of times. - Yeah, a lot of times they just send you blank pages. (laughing) And then sometimes if it's a commercial, they just ask you to make up the product and then they'll go make it. (laughing) - I don't know, but you know what to make it. Send it to Daley. - Oh, we'll come up with something. - With Quizzle Gum, you get a spousal of a Quizzle Dizzle bezel basil. Okay, let's make it. Sounds fantastic. Andy, can I call you Andy? - Yeah. - Okay, Andrew, you, I like that better. - You and I have known each other for how many years. Would you say it's been 30 years that we've been working together? - It feels like 50, but I would say, (laughing) probably 1996 is when we first got to the world. - And we have some things in common, okay? I know you're an animal lover. - Oh yeah. - Do you have a dog? - I have two dogs. - You have two dogs. - Yeah. - I have two dogs. - Really? - See, we're gonna have a good podcast interview. - This is great. I think we got it. Do we got it? - Are we done? - We're done. - Well, this has been Andy Daley. - Wait, speaking of things we haven't common. - Yeah. - I was recently misrecognized as you at Traitor Joe. - My God. - Yes, I was. - Yes, they gentleman walked toward me, looking like he knew who I was, like we were friends or something. - And you were like, "Here we go." (laughing) - You got out your autograph pen. - Exactly. - And 'cause no one walks in autograph anymore. But then as we got closer, he disengaged and smiled and said, "I thought you were Conan O'Brien." - Oh, interesting. - Yeah, wow. And I thought, "I did nothing to earn that insult." - Oh, hey. - That's terrible. - I welcomed you into the bosom of my bosom. And you. - You called them a pack mule. - No, that's a compliment. That's a compliment. When you're done with the pack mule, you shoot it and leave it for dead. - Yeah, trust me, when this interview's over, I'm putting one right between his eyes and then we're moving on. - No, but I did explain to him. I didn't say he's really, the first thing you notice about Conan is how tall he is. Just FYI, if you're out there in the world looking for Conan, rule out anybody of like a normal age. - That's why people who know that often think I'm Jane Lynch. That happens a lot too. I mean, I get, I occasionally get misidentified, but not often. Mostly people just know it's me. Or they know, I know he's famous for something and I love it when people say, "Are you one of those movie stars?" - Oh. - I say, "Oh, no, no, I am not a movie star." Not at all. You couldn't be more wrong. - Would you say if somebody says, "Hey, are you famous? You could say back if you have to ask." The answer is no. - Right, but then they might get offended. - Yeah, I know. - They might think I'm being snarky. - That's why I say nothing. I turn around and walk in the other direction. - Oh, that's really rude. - Oh, well, then I don't know what to do. (laughing) - It just puzzles me. Well, I got to keep this going now. Listen, you-- - What's happening? Are you okay? - I just suddenly realize that I have nothing to live for. - Oh, my God. - But wait, that sometimes just comes on me and I just have to wait it out. Hold on a second. - How long does it usually take? - This could be hours. - Oh, dear. - No, it's gone. I think I'm good now. - Shoof. - How did you feel during that? Were you worried for me at all? Or you just thought, "I can go." (laughing) For a second, did you think I'm gonna stop and talk to Conan and help out? - No, not at all. No. I was just completely thinking about myself. - You have two dogs? I have two dogs. I heard that you got a dog when you quit drinking. Is that true? Oh yeah, that's about right. - Well, let's share. - What was the thinking there? - Well, 'cause I got a dog to have someone to drink with. (laughing) I've had seven golden retrievers die of cirrhosis of the liver. (laughing) - Yeah. - But what is very common in the breed, don't blame yourself. (laughing) - So what was the thinking there? - It was more that I kind of realized, I guess I was sort of had more time on my hands and was a little bit bored, but also I felt like I'm not gonna screw it up. Like I can take on some extra responsibilities. - Okay. - Now that I'm sort of not. - Embibing. - Yeah, and sort of having a being a black out drunk three days a week or so. - Oh, yeah. - Okay, I did not know that. - I did not know that. - Okay. - How long ago did you make this switch? Did you get sober? - 24 years ago. - Oh, good for you. - Yeah, yeah. - That's an impressive response with when he met you. (laughing) - It lines up exactly, actually. - Wow. - That's an incredible achievement. - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. - One hour, that's fine. - I eat a lot of chocolate. - That's okay. - I just replaced the one with the other. - Yeah. - No, thank you. Yes. It was like-- - But did the dog help you get sober? Or was it more of those things where, because I find that my animals, we have two dogs and three cats, and there's just animals everywhere. And I love it. I just love, 'cause as you know, I'm very tactile. So I just like to grab a golden retriever and wrestle with them on the floor. - Yes, me too. You might not guess that about me, but when I wrestle with the dogs, and I bite my dogs, I bite them all the time. I'm constantly biting my dogs. - Can your dogs and put out a complaint? (laughing) - It'd be great if you took your dogs in and they say this dog has human rabies. (laughing) Remember that time you bit a bat and the bat got rabies? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - Every time he brings it up, what part of their body do you bite? - Like their faces. - Oh, wow. - I'm just constantly-- (growling) - I-- - They love it. - They can't get enough of me. - I do a crazy thing for years. I would see my golden, and I would wrestle them on the ground, and sometimes I would yell at the dog, you shot my president, (laughing) and wrestle him to the ground, like he was in a salient. And people would hear me do that and go, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" And I just thought of a story. And another thing I would do is, it's really funny to, I would point at my dog and go, "Embezzler!" And they make this guilty face, like I know you've been stealing funds, and just the idea of a golden being caught, embezzling, and it could take some finesse for a golden, you know, to get into your books and manipulate money. - But they could do it. - You could do it. - I often will get one of my dogs, like we're down on the ground, and I'll just get face to face with her, and I'll say, "Come away with me." (laughing) The others don't understand us. (laughing) They don't understand what we have. (laughing) - And you have two dogs, so then how does the other dog feel? When you say to that dog, "Come away with me." The others don't understand. - Physically happy to be off the bed. - Yeah, out of my sights at that moment. Just like, "It'll be me next time." - I think my dogs understand how comedically needy I am, and so there, and goldens are bred to absorb all of your stuff. - Yeah. - And I think when I leave, they just apogues across their forehead, like, "Marsh, you!" - Oh my God. - Oh my God, 75 bits this morning. - One of our dogs is a golden retriever. - Yes. - Yeah, they're great. - They're great. - And I don't mind the hair all over the place. You know, people get all these doodles now. They're hypoallergenic. Not me. - No. - No, I like dogs. It'll make me really sick. - I was just thinking this morning, I wouldn't like it if when I reach into my drawer to get an article of clothing to put on for the day. If it doesn't, at that point have dog hair on it. - Yeah. - That's my only. - It comes out of the dryer with dog hair. - No, but just in the process of folding it and all that, there's hair everywhere. - If you come visit me at my house, which will never happen, you open the door and just golden hair, comes pouring out onto anyone who comes to see us. - Yeah, I don't mind that if I wear it for two seconds, it'll be covered in hair. But if I can take it out of the drawer, not hairy. - No, this is why I primarily buy clothes that are golden. - Oh. - See, show what that one's in. - Yeah, that's my. - And our house is painted gold and all gold rugs. It's very trumpy, but for different reasons. (laughing) - Trum came by and he was like, this is pretty good. - Anyway, it's for the goldens. He's like, okay, I got it. (laughing) He drops in all the time. - He's like, so that's just a long day. - I'm gonna fight the champ. He's that's what Trump said to me. I'm gonna fight the champ. (laughing) - I gotta do what I gotta do. - I gotta do what I gotta do. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - I'm curious, because I like the origin stories. You must have been an odd young fellow. And I can relate. You're just a perfectly normal kid. - A perfectly normal kid. - Amazing athlete. (laughing) You played your quarterback for the Rams for like eight years. - You know what, actually, when I was in high school, I wanna find out how alike we were when we were, when we were little comedy freaks. - Yes. - Okay, well, this is a story I actually told once on the TBS show, and I gave you this piece of information. - That's okay, those things are old and destroyed. - No, I know, but I gave you this piece of information about myself, and your response was to say, what an ass. And so I'm gonna get clearly in stick with you. - It did, and I'd like to give you an opportunity to just, I'm gonna tell a key again, and give you an opportunity to have a more supportive and empathetic reaction to it. (laughing) - I think I can do it. - Okay, all right. When I was in high school, I wrote for the student newspaper, and because I did, right, for the student newspaper, I wore a fedora to school with a press card in the hat band. - Sure. - That's the information. - Fuck you. (laughing) - Wait a minute. - Is that? - This is what you do, you project, because if you didn't do that very same thing, you're just upset that you didn't think of it. - We established a long time ago that I attack people for my qualities. - Yes, most of my attacks on you are things that I have guilty of, and I always find that's the greatest joke of all. I attack others for things I have done, and now it seems to become a national craze. It's a national craze, trust me. You know, you come up, you're a crook. - Wait a minute, but I think it's one of my great joys in life is going after other people for being nerds and freaks when they were kids. - Yeah. - No, I totally, I remember, I mean, I've talked about it, but all I wanted when I was a boy was not a baseball bat or a glove or a football. I wanted office supplies, because I wanted to like, type things up, and fire off memos. I wanted a stamp that said void and cancel, and I started to gather these things, and I remember all I wanted to do was to have official papers to write up. I wanted a pneumatic tube also, one of those things, you poured, and it goes shooting off. - Yeah, so you're firing off memos to other rooms of the house. - So I am just as bad as you, and I was, bullies should get in time machines now and go back and beat the shit out of me more than I was beaten already. - You didn't get it bad enough at the time, yeah. - No, no, I got more than my share, but I still think when I think of these things now, I think, nope, I didn't get enough beating. We need bullies to get into time machines. Instead of going back and stopping World War II from happening or other things, they should just go back and kick the shit out of me. - Yes, it wasn't enough just to throw the hat in a tree. You have to punch me while you're at it. - Yeah, so that happened? - Well, I spent a lot of time chasing after that hat. - So you were the hat, and you were bullied, I'm guessing. - Of course, but I was just looking for scoops. - You're supposed to not, when you're reporting-- - You were looking for scoops. - That's what I said. - I'm looking for scoops. - When you're reporting, you're supposed to not be the story. And you were kind of like-- - Exactly, you're right. - So all of your articles that you wrote were reporter assailed. (laughing) Kat Stolen, like every time you picked up an anti-daily, daily newspaper. (laughing) - My column was called The Daily Muse in the US. - Yes. - Oh my god, oh my god, The Muse. - I think I've told this once, but once I was walking with my brother Luke, and I was kind of smart, and my brother Luke is to this day a thousand times smarter than me. He was just this incredible brain. And I remembered we got stopped near this area in my neighborhood called The Point, where some of the tough kids hung out. And we got stopped by some kids, and they were sort of shoving us and saying, "Hey you guys are back then, everyone was queer." You know, they'll call you queer. Like, hey, pushing you and saying that. And the insult back then was your mental. It was a Boston thing, but mental meant, you know. Your mental just means you're all screwed up. Hey kid, what are you mental? And they pushed my brother Luke and said, what are you mental? And he said, "Hmm, well, mental is Latin for of the mind, so I thank you." [laughter] The fists flew fast and hard. I remember he was just at my heart sinking when Luke had this super silliest look on his face. Oh, Latin is, mental and Latin is of the mind, my good sir, so I thank you. And then when you made an example of a peregric victory, there it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wrote about this in your column. Yeah, yeah. That was the one scoop you ever had. Fellow nerd beaten after quoting Latin. [laughter] It was a peregric victory for sure. Yours most sincerely on the Daily News. You goon, I love that. No, no, I am you and you am I. As Bob, I would say, at an alternate universe. Here's, I have a question for you because I was thinking about, somebody was asking me like the first laugh I ever got out of a crowd. And I remember very clearly, in fact, I think it might be my first memory that I was in nursery school and it was a very special job to get to carry the Dixie Cups full of fruit juice from the kitchen to the room where everybody was. Like that was something, every day someone got selected to do it. And it was my job to do it that day. And I legitimately dropped. I tripped and dropped this tray full of Dixie Cups. And everybody laughed as though I had done it on purpose. And then I played it off like I had done it on purpose because I really enjoyed the laugh. But I wonder if is that a common experience? Do you think for comedians to like, yes, to get a lot? Like, yeah, it was not an intentional joke. Yeah, but I had to. It was so much like I got in a lot of trouble for dumping juice on the floor. But that was better, but you got the pure heroin hit of a laugh. Yes. And no one forgets their first hit. Yeah. You know, I mean, I'm in the same way. Do you remember yours? - Yeah, my first big laugh was 1998. - Oh. - The show had been on for five years. - Yes. - And I remember it saying to Mr. T. - When it was to W, that was the big laugh. - No, no, I love it, my first big laugh. It was our fifth anniversary show. - I had never had one like, no. I remember very clearly I was at a little school in Brookline Mass called the Michael Baldwin School. We just called it the Baldwin School. And it was just K through three. I would have been, I don't know, maybe second grade. And my dad had taken me to a revival house and shown me a Charlie Chaplin film. And I think it was maybe modern times or something. And I just was just, oh my God, that guy's funny. It was a silent film with the music. And I saw it and my dad knew I was into comedy. So he took me and I was, so I took a little walking stick to school and out in the school yard. I was doing a routine where I was walking with the walking stick and it was a total accident. I crossed one leg, you know the way when you use planta cane, like the planter's peanut guy, you kind of cross one leg over the other in a saucy way. - Mm-hmm, a junky pose. - A junky pose. I was doing a little stick with it and a bunch of kids were around in the playground and I sort of doing it for them. And then I crossed one leg over the other and accidentally hit the cane with my foot and it went, "Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, "spinning and kind of planted itself in the brass." And the kids thought it was an accident. But I got the biggest laugh because it looked like I'd been up all night practicing a really cool thing. And they were just like, that was awesome. And I had that whole floodgate of, yeah. - I know how. - I'll try to do some of these things on purpose maybe. - Yeah, and I realized that I needed to be a prop comedian. Mm-hmm, to this day, to this day, wherever I go, I have my trustee. I got the Gallagher estate and I bought all his props. So, he was, there was an auction of Gallagher belongings. Didn't we look over the key? You could buy one of his hats that had hair attached to it. - That's right. - He remembered, I was watching, I think I was watching Rip Taylor, the comedian Rip Taylor used to do prop comedy. And he'd be like, "Oh!" And he was on the Merv Griffin show or something and I was watching him and he just, oh, he had a trunk full of just crap, just junk. And he pulled out what was a mannequin's arm and duct taped to it, crudely, was just a tennis racket. And he just pulled it up and held it up and went, "Tennis elbow!" (laughing) And I remember being a kid, watching daytime TV and I went, "That's awful!" (laughing) You can't just, no, you can't just take-- - What was his show, the like $9 beauty pageant? Do you remember that? - I don't remember that. It was like a daily show where they would just do a beauty pageant and he was the host and he would crown, just-- - I don't remember anything of his other than thinking, you can't just take two nouns and duct tape them together. Because if you do, it's so nihilistic. You know, you can just get a piece of glass. And, I mean, I'm just trying to think of, you can just take anything that has two words to it and tape them together and then announce that's what it is. And I remember just thinking, if we go down that road, we're dead as a species. And, sure enough, Retailer died, many years later. - We probably would never have described his act as nihilistic. I don't think. - Yeah, we do. - What do you do? - I do nihilism! How? - Maybe we got him to do something on our show once and, yeah, so Frank Smiley got him to do a bit for us. And I just still had PTSD from his tennis elbow routine. (laughing) - I take him away, get him away from me. - I know that you're doing your own podcast and have for quite a long time. - But you guys have how you guys got to know each other. - Do you know each other before that? - We knew each other from, first from my podcast, Super Ego, which we guessed it on and then-- - Which is, by the way, so many times I'm with you and fans come out of the woodwork, bypass me, and they know Super Ego with this guy. And I'm like, "What the hell is going on?" What am I, Johnny? - What am I, Johnny? - Liver? - Yeah, yeah, maybe. - You may be. - That's why I don't walk with Matt Gorley anymore. Super Ego is just an hour long podcast that we talking about how your chop liver. (laughing) - Playing out the case. - But no, that's, so you guys work together. And I mean, do you have any insights into what makes this man tick? Because any daily fascinates me. It's, I've just never not seen him be funny. And he's just really-- - And it kind of seems effortless. - The check is gonna come do on these compliments. I know they-- - Good already have. - Oh. - You've let us down many times already tonight. (laughing) - I'm looking for scoops, looking for scoops. (laughing) - He's my friend, so I don't even have to say this. We're already friends, but I find him to be. - Don't say the funniest, don't say the funniest. - Don't say it. - I'm more hanging by a friend. - You do like a bitch. (laughing) - Along with David Hoppy. (laughing) - One of the funniest people, now, along with yourself. - Truly one of the funniest people. - Hey, put me in the same category with this guy. I'm very happy. And that's the last compliment today. Now I go after you again. - All right. - I think you're really pale. - You know what else he is? - What? - Generous. - He's so funny. - I know. - Don't, don't, don't, very generous. - Really generous. - He's just a generous, comic partner. He always gives you room and-- - Shut up. (laughing) - This is why I have such a hard time coming on this. - Shut up. - Shut up. - Shut up. - Shut up. - And that's why I'm making this point. - Shut up. - He knows how to do it. - Shut up. - He understands. - Shut up, shut up. Shut up. - If you get one laugh, I will die. (laughing) - That's always been my comedy philosophy. If I'm on stage with anyone and they get the slightest laugh, I will immediately die. - Of course. - But imagine the nose, the emotional nose bleed, I felt coming from Andy to work with Andy. - I'm doing this with Andy Richter once, but I said, "I've come up with a good comedy character. Let's do it." And my guy just said, "Shut up." So instead of, "Yes, Andy." And he'd say, "Oh, all this is a nice cookie shot." We got shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Fucking shut up. And scene. - It would work. In an improv scene, it would work. These days-- - Nihilist. (laughing) We've talked about this before, but your comedy rants, your monologues, where you tell stories as characters. I've listened to those and I don't wanna repeat things too much from the last podcast, but you inhabiting the body of a guy who's like a leprechaun. And the stories go on for about 25 minutes and there's always so much intelligence behind them. There's the up with people kind of guy who's, it you clearly, quickly realize that his whole family's been like murdered and sexually assaulted. And he has to show up now. And he's late because everyone was being, he just got away with his life. His all his family is gone. And he has to be enough with people, guy. - There's a character he does called Don Demillo that when we're doing something together and he goes into Don Demillo and he goes away. And the posture comes in and his eyes go out and as he always comes in. - And then you're a little Don Demillo? - The theatrical director, Don Demillo. (laughing) - He's the ladies and gentlemen. Wonderful to be here. - I direct the Rockets and the Radio City Music called Christmas Victoria. (laughing) - That's just Fadaddy. (laughing) - Is that your big claim to fame the Rockets? - That's the whole thing. - Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He doesn't mess around with the, you know, the pageant, the live nativity scene in the baby's ear. (laughing) I focus on the Rockets. (laughing) Beautiful girls with the legs. - All exactly the same heights. (laughing) - 'Cause that's weird. - It's a little strange that there's this holdover from the Zigfeld Fathers in the middle of the Children's Christmas Show. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Oh, I took, we took our daughter when she was little to that show. And it is really funny. It's like, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh. And there's Santa and there's elves and everyone's having a good time. And then bring out the girl. - Yeah, bring it. (laughing) Bring out the girl. (laughing) - Kiss girls, kiss your kiss. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - You gotta give these kids their monies where. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We have a rotating cast that's 300 girls on a saveite. (laughing) - That creeps me out. Like you, you have to. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's very specific. - Yeah. - Weird. - We should tour where you do that character. And I do my shut up guy. (laughing) - Let's try right now. - Let's see. - Let's see. - Let's see. Hello, shut up. - Shut up. - Yes, hello, Conan. - Shut up. - Shut up, Conan. - Shut up, shut up, shut up. I just wanted to ask you, shut up. (laughing) - And it works. This reviewer walked out after one minute. The brilliant Andy Daly did his best. But Conan's shut up guy. (laughing) - Who was 10 times louder in the speakers. - Yeah, yeah. - For a reason, we soon found out that Andy Daly's mic had been cut on O'Brien's orders. (laughing) All right, ask me some questions, come on. - I'd like to hear about penis beach, please. - Penis beach. (laughing) - What? - Didn't you write the famous penis beach sketch? - Oh, nude beach, it's called. - Oh, I thought it would call penis beach. - Let's not be crass. - All right, all right. - It's a sketch that I worked on with. I think, well, Robert Smigel. It started with Robert Smigel's idea. - Okay. - I believe. - Matthew Broderick was the host. - Well, we had it. kicking around for a while because we couldn't get anyone to do it and there was a big controversy because the whole concept of this sketch was a guy's really nervous. It's his first day at a nude beach and his friends telling him, you know, get over it. It's not a big deal. And everyone has strategically covered genitalia. And was this because they were just then allowed to say penis on national television that I remember? Well, it wasn't clear you could yet. It's how I remember it. No, we used to do it. We did it in Chicago at the, it was at the Victory Gardens theater in Chicago summer of 1988. We did a show there called Happy Happy Good Show. And this sketch did really well. I would, I think there's a guy who's on stage and he's holding a beach ball in front of his dick. But other than that, we're all naked. And he's nervous. It's his first day at a nude beach. And I think Robert Smigel is counseling him and saying, you know, don't worry about it. It's just the most natural thing in the world. You'll even forget your naked because we just hang out and we talk. And then I think I walk in and say, and I have a guitar, strategically placed. And I walk in and say, hey, Bill. And he goes, hey, this is my friend Steve. And I go, hey, Steve. And I go, hey, penis, looking good. And then he goes, I don't think so. And your penis is looking pretty good too. Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm using a new cream, you know, whatever. And then other people walk in and all we talk about is penises. I believe there are over 30 repetitions of the word. Oh, I get 30 is serve it if that's in the first minute. And then it gets down to, hey, what would you do with your penis? Well, I found a really good regimen for my penises to, you know, and that's where it's all we talk about. But as if we're just talking about the weather. And then I think my big contribution was it should end with, hey, let's sing a song and it's all about penises. And it's just the word penis penis penis. And we did this sketch and it did really well in Chicago. Then we took the show to LA. I did well in LA. And then we took it to SNL and immediately we're in a room with NBC brass. And they're saying, you can't do this. And it took a while. But then I think Matthew Broadrick came on the show and we had insisted. We, yeah, we took a stand. We fought for it. And we got it. We got it done. Uh huh. But isn't it one of the only sketches that was edited out for the rerun? Like it doesn't. I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. That's something I heard. Not for the tape delay in the West Coast, but for the second airing. Yeah. Right. They kind of have a cause of complaints. Yeah. There were a lot of complaints. And I remember when that aired. Yeah. When we talked about that in my family, we loved it. It was a big thing because, you know, later on, people would say, you know, because we would, our defense was it's part of the body. And we're not saying anything gross about the penis. We're just mentioning penises. Right. And so, um, but yeah, we were, I mean, I like to think we were like Rosa Parks. Can we edit that? We took a really brave stance. But also, I am under orders, Conan, to ask you about the Taylor Swift wedding. I'm, I'm sorry, I don't want to, I take no pleasure. You know, we, I haven't talked about it. My wife and I did go to that wedding. You did. Yeah. I have. So my daughter is, she's 19 and she's heard some rumors about the wedding. Can I run these by you? Okay. See if they're true. And I've been very discreet because I respect their privacy. And I, uh, I do. I'm just laughing at the thought of them having privacy. Doing a while. I'm gonna try and square. I know other people have talked, but I'm changing. But I, I will answer your questions if I can. Okay. All right. I have heard that some guests were required to arrive at the wedding five hours before the wedding began. That is one rumor I heard. I don't think that's true. And I have heard that there were, I showed up five hours early, uh, to a warm about, and no one was there. No one was there. And then someone said, can you just start unfolding these seats? And I said, sure thing. So, and I, um, I helped with floral arrangements. I got there very, very early. You did. They asked you to. I think that's the reason I got invited. Was they know that I'm a good worker. You were willing to help out. And my invitation did say, could you show up early and bring work clothes? The dress code is janitor coveralls. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, well, I guess so. And then I was like, why is they including a mop in the dress code? But they did bring your own mop. Yeah. Basically, her rumors all kind of have to do with like, there was a tear of guests who had to get there early, did not have chairs. And, um, I had to spend all this time without their phones, like five hours waiting for the way people gave up their phones, which is I think a good idea. I mean, first of all, I will say this for me anyway, I would like my phone confiscated all the time. I am so much happier when I don't have my phone. You know, when I'm with my wife, she always has her phone. So if there's God forbid, someone really needs to get in touch with us or something happens or our kids need to talk to us, yeah, she has her phone. But I think it's now a great luxury not to have a phone. I agree. And I think they should be taken away from all of us. But yeah, I don't, none of that sounds familiar to me. Other than the phones, none of that sounds familiar to me. Everyone had a seat. Why? These are important questions. No, they're not boring because they get the imagine there is a ceremony. There's a tropian wedding. No, no, there's a ceremony where everyone is seated. Okay. And some were punished. I remember I was dressed as a custodian and did not have a seat. Right. Okay. And I was the only person that gets to the heart of the things that she's heard and is concerned about. Yeah. Yeah. I did. No, there's the part where you sit and you watch this wonderful, beautiful wedding occur. The ceremony and Adam Sandler was brilliant and really sweet and perfection. And I've I keep bothering him because we're friends. I keep telling him how it's one of the finest things I've seen a person do. He just hit the tone. He was funny. He was sweet. It was perfection. They were lovely. I just was very heartwarming. The whole thing was just absolutely beautiful. And people have have said this, but I'll just double down. It was really sweet and real. And then there's like a reception where there's places to sit, but you didn't want to sit. You know, mostly people are standing and talking and there's music like musical chairs and that chair was taken away every 10 minutes. And then if you couldn't find a seat, you had to leave. That is true. That is true. And the weird thing is the person taking the chairs away was Taylor, which I thought it was just that she was busy taking chairs away. And it was I guess a prank that Travis talked her into. And no, everything you're saying is insanity. I don't know is your is your is your any chance that your daughter's dies reading the daily the daily news. I feel like looking for scoops, Conan. Yeah. Your scoops are so crazy. Yes. It's been well documented that McCartney played and Stevie Nicks. And it was just fantastic. He would play my favorite thing is McCartney's playing a song. He's playing. I want to hold your hand and a guy just then went, Hey, Conan, I just want to talk to you. So on your budget, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I like missed a chunk of it because, you know, I'm not I want to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But didn't he also stop every once in a while and then everybody had to sit down. That's true. There's always a point. He was playing the musical chair's music. He was providing the musical chair's music. Oh, yes. Yes. I was here saying. And so she would give him a high sign. He would stop. Yeah. And then everybody had a seat and play an iconic Beatles on these never played live before. And then he would stop. Taylor herself would rush over. Yeah. Remove all these chairs. And then Paul would and she'd say go Paul and he would start to play again. Wheels on the bus. And then I remember I saw I saw Lord Michaels fall because he thought he had a chair. And he didn't a lot of people were going down. A lot of people got very badly hurt. And they were they were helicoptered out, which has not been in the press, which is weird. Well, it was a blindfolded musical chair. Yeah. No, that was the fun part. I guess. Yeah. I didn't get what that was for, but it was so that we would sit. So yeah, a lot of people got hurt. I thought it was a weird use of McCartney to make him sing Beatles classic. He's doing like side two of Abbey Road, right? He's stopping every he didn't. He's saying for hours and hours and hours and everyone the chairs kept getting taken away again by Taylor herself. Yeah. Who at this point is drenched in sweat. Yeah. And then people just start sitting down and breaking their hips. Everyone broke their hips that night. My wife broke her hip. I broke the left side of my hip. And then I broke it. The right side later on when I got drunk with my dog. And because you know, you got to talk it down with someone. Sure. And yeah, it was that was a crazy night. Is this the kind of, well, you know, you go and say who won musical chairs. Great question. This is a great question. It was Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper went and then he was such a dick about it. Yeah, he anticipated he was going to win because he's very good at musical chairs. So he had these t-shirts made that said I won fuckers. Wow. And he's had a t-shirt cannon. He was firing them, but not into a crowd. He was walking up to people's faces and point blank t-shirt cannon. Yeah. And so I saw him shoot. I think do a leap of right in the face with a t-shirt cannon. She went right down it. She'd already broken her hip. I mean, it was and then yeah, at one point they opened. I didn't know they could open the roof of Madison Square Garden, but they opened it up and it just it was all helicopters hella-vacking people out. Half of them hurt with because of the musical chairs and then half of them shot in the face at point blank range by Bradley Cooper because he had won the musical chairs with t-shirts he had made beforehand an anticipation of his victory. So my point to you is that I can't believe none of this got out. My daughter has some inklings about it. Yeah. And I saw you at one point I did want to get some treatment for something else unrelated to these other accidents I just had some a chill fish. So I was being hella backed out and I looked down and I saw what I thought was you wearing a press hat. And you're on 33 you're on 33rd Street. And you had a photographer with a flashbulb in his head. Yeah. Yeah. And and but I kept waving to you because I thought this was a finally a big scoop and you wouldn't look up because I guess you have neck issues. You can't look up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't it's just fine. I just can't report anything that's above like eye level. And that's why all your all your scoops were about, well, I'm still looking right at eye level. Yeah. And I see nothing of concern here. When most every celebrity in the world is being hella backed out with a dangerous injury right right above you. Well, that's for someone else to cover, I guess. I'm just like whatever the daily news is not going to cover anything that happens that I have to crane my neck up or down or to decide. You can only see you have no peripheral vision and you can only see straight ahead. This is hurt. You're reporting. I agree. But there's nothing can be done about it. Many times you'll be out and something amazing will happen and someone will say, oh my god, look at that. And you'll say, only if I could. Yeah. So that's, you know, I think I've given the most accurate reporting of what happened is that way. What kind of wedding you bring a gift to because I mean, you don't have to say I brought a rice cooker. And you know what? It was used. You sure when I had in college, they don't make these anymore. And I'm not even sure it's meant to cook rice. It's a good chance that it's something that you heat infected scalp with infected scalp infected scalp. Yeah. You know, if you get those boils on your head, the way I do sometimes. Oh, so you put it on your head. Yeah. Okay. I thought that was a running a scalp that was not attached to a head. Yeah, me too. But had somehow become infected. Mine's still attached. Okay. Yeah. Um, yeah. That's a good question. What was it? What? Gifts and all gifts. I didn't do a gift. I should have. I think you have a year after the wedding. Do the etiquette to do that. But they didn't have like a little clause in their imitation that's like, please, no gifts. We're mega billionaires here. They were. First of all, that's just rude. You're assuming she has a lot of money and you're assuming he has a lot of money. That's not cool. I don't think that's rude. No, your first of all, that's just, oh, everyone in entertainment is just super wealthy. I think they're barely getting by. And for you to assume that because she sells out tours all over the world and has been one of the probably the biggest star in pop culture for the last 15 years that she has money, that's a terrible assumption. I guess you're right. It's very, it's narrow-minded of you. And I think an offensive. I'd like to apologize to them because I think you're right. And that, wait, I'm sorry, you're an asshole. There you go. For a minute there. I thought we're losing him. We're losing the pain for a second. He's back. He's back in all systems go. Okay. If you ever faint instead of smelling salts, they're going to grab me and put my head right next to yours and you're just going to be completely out of it. And then you're going to go, you're an asshole. And then you'll be, you'll have the same heart rate as an Olympic athlete. Do you want to apologize for anything? No. No. No. I can't think of anything I should apologize for. You you came here today. Yes. No, I was asked to. Yes, you were asked by our bookers. Yeah. Okay. And then I did try to stop you. Oh, okay. I didn't know that part. This is my favorite kind of podcast of all because it's all just foolishness. What do you mean? Fall the wrong and flop and it makes me really happy. It makes me so happy. This is the most substantive interview I've ever had in my life. I know what you're talking. You thought this was like 60 minutes. Yeah. This is a real grilling. This guy's really drilling into me. I want to mention again, you're the host of the Andy Daley podcast project. Oh, yeah. I'm Patreon. And how can you never have me on that? What's the problem? I actually have. No, I know, but bananas for bananas. That's part of it. Oh, yes. Yes. I did do that. But you know, you could have me back. That's all I'm saying. And I'll tell you something else. Yeah. I don't remember gunning a chat. Oh, really? Yeah. Probably true. That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I just says, yeah, that's, yeah, that's probably true. Hey, wait a minute. If you never paid me for that, I catered your party. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I'm assuming you're Taylor Swift wealthy. Yeah. Again, that's just rude. Yeah. I guess it is. You know, all right. I'll send you a check and I'll invite you back. And this time, I'll pay you before also the scoops I just gave you on the T-Swift wedding. They're huge. Wait until you see the Daily Mail get a hold of this. You know, Daily Mail. Yeah. I mean, the British tabloids love this stuff and they'll, everything I just revealed is huge. Yeah. We should monetize that. How so? I'm not sure. Well, I'm not going to Daily Mail for their name. Yeah. They should not. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're going to win. I think you're going to win. You're going to win. I'm going to win their lawsuit. Yeah. I mean, it's, say it, the Daily Mail, Andy Daley. It's the same word. And your mail. You know what? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you don't even, quote, email Jason. You don't even need a lawyer. You can just get in front of a judge and say that. Yeah. How are you going to dress as a lawyer if you, as a, when you're a reporter, you wear a hat. What are you going to wear? Are you going to wear an English, a barrister's way? The Daily Mail is a UK-based newspaper. Yeah. You're going to have to go to the England. Yeah. I have to. I got to show up in one of those wigs in a robe. But still put a little press thing in there. Yeah. We're, we're a backstress wig with a little press card and go, I'm here for justice and possibly a scoop, but in your, but in your terrible British accent, obviously for justice, and possibly a scoop. Possibly a scoop. Possibly a scoop. It could go either way. Oh, I always. It's your false. In the second grade, the first CD you ever bought was Rod Stewart's. Do you think I'm sexy? That is true. It was not a CD, though. It was a, it was a vinyl record. You bought the record. Do you? Of course. Why would a kid in second grade buy? Well, I had to chew. I was at the same goodie. I didn't know the answer to the question. He just played it for girls individually. To get there for it. I just love him inviting a girl and sit down, sit down, Abby, and she'd sit down and you would, you'd be wearing your press hat with your card and you'd put it on, if you think I'm on it and you think I'm sexy. And you're just looking at her and then you take the needle off the record and you go, and no answer the question. So the question. No. Next. Next. There's a line of 900 girls. I had, I was trying to choose between Alice Cooper's record because he had been on the Muppet Show and I liked his record. Yep. And, and Rod Stewart's record. And I chose Rod Stewart because that song, do you think I'm sexy, was the big hit at the time? Sure. And I assumed the whole album was going to be that great. It really was not. But I did bring it into my second grade classroom. Probably the reason I remember it's the first album I ever bought is that we were allowed to bring in our, our favorite music to play for the class. And I brought that record in. And it has a rather provocative album. Yeah. Do they let you play it? Yep. They let me play the biggest song. And then you did the penis sketch for the whole class. And you were in drop to three of Tuesdays. Yeah. And it cuts you exterior school. A child is thrown out the window. A second later his hat is tossed out after him. You are a force for good. In the universe. Thank you. Andy B. Daley. Close. I just love to give you a nickname. A middle initial. I have no idea what it is. What is your middle name? It's letter J. The consummate asks. God bless you. Please come back very soon. I will. I'd love to. And shut up, shut up, shut up. Okay. We have some important topics to discuss. And it involves a show called Big City Greens. Yeah, baby. And I don't know much about this show. But, Blake, why don't you take it away and lead us into it? Big City Greens. I coupled my friends Chris and Shane Houghton have a great show on Disney Plus. And they asked us Matt and Sonan myself to do voices on this animated show. And we did. And it was great. Do you realize you punch certain words there? Completely unnecessarily. What do you mean? They asked us to do voices. He's a voiceover artist. Thank you. I am emphasizing certain words because it adds to the drama. I did it. That was pretty good. This is an audio medium, by the way. Sure. Yeah. Sure. We have microphones. I just want people to continue listening. Oh my God. But do you want to say what you said right before we started about my voice? I just said it's better when I, because you suggested maybe you start off the segment. And I said I don't think that's a good idea because people listening will think it's an amber alert. It's very funny. Yes. And you'll start looking for that. Show you at a camera with a certain license plate in the highway. See if little Billy is okay. But so, so, Blake, this is, this is exciting. Happy for your friends. They have this show. And I guess it's a, it's a big deal. Big City Greens. I love Big City. My daughter and I love this show. I love this show. Well, I think there's room for us all to love it. No, I mean, I mean, it's like one of those kids shows. It's not, I don't even know if it's a kid show technically, but it's like very funny. And I think adults and kids can enjoy it. When my kids were little, there were shows that I watched with them that I loathed because, you know, they were really little and they, they wanted to see, oh, I don't know, Dora the Explorer or Kau. Um, no shade to Dora or Kai. No shade. No shade. Well, I just think they should tell us what disease does Kai you have. Okay. That's right. You got to come forward. I thought it was creepy. They would do that thing where they'd go like, what should we do to find our way? And then Dora would kind of look around and look out at the screen. And this was the chance for the kids to go map and should say, that's right. Map. I was driven mad by this. So I used to shout out the wrong thing. Like what? Okay. Yeah. Dora would say, how do we, how do we find our way? And Dora would want me to say map and her eyes would dart and look out of the TV at me. And I would say, uh, you know, spatula and should go. Of course. That's right. Map. And I enjoyed it because it made it seem like she had lost her mind. Uh, so no, I wasn't having that. Kai, you, uh, I swear to God needs, uh, needs help. Kai, you need help. But then my kids got a little older when they started watching these two shows that were just brilliantly funny. Teen Titans go and gumball. Yeah. And these shows were fantastic. And I thought these shows are funnier than most of the edgy comedy, uh, that I that served up to me. Big city greens is like that. Yeah. Big city greens is like, well, great. I'm gonna check it out. Yeah. So his word girl on PBS. What's word girl about? And I was like, why is this so funny? And it's really short. But it's like Ellie Kempers in it. Amy Sedaris is in it. Oh great. Yeah. It's like like a lot of high pedigree people. It's awesome. Um, it's on PBS. We also have, uh, they sent a picture of Matt and Sonas characters. Oh cool. We're, we're produce. That's our, that's our enemy. We play the villains. Oh my god. That is so cool. That's great. You have a, Matt has a t-shirt cannon. I'm lavender. And I'm, I just have a dick look on my face. Oh, I'm glad you finished that. So they spent hours. You know what they did? They spent hours studying Sonas. Yeah. That's right. We're mass produce. We're the bad guys because the whole thing is about a small farm in the middle of the city. Right. And they are at the Farms from what I remember, which is like the Oscars for farms. No spoilers. And believe us, the synopsis. Okay. And then I'm gonna say one. I play farmer Zachariah. I'm in the middle. Oh, they didn't give me any lines. I think I'm also that guy on the left. Wait. Wait. Did you start this whole thing by touting your vocal skills and how it's an audio medium and your friends. Yeah. That's your friends wrote a part for you. You don't speak. What does that tell you? Well, what does that tell you? Maybe they're listening to the podcast and realizing that's the sixth time he broke my boat speakers. They just had me grunt and just do a bunch of grunts. Do one. I was like, but also, I will say to your point, Conan, they had me, this is not a joke. They probably had me do 12 or 13 takes of grunts. So I guess I'm just terrible. Yeah. I'm pretty bad too. They have me do a lot of take. But how many grunts? How many times do I have to do grunts, man? I mean, you can just do a grunt. I mean, you do a good grunt. See, that's, that's daring. Cut print. Okay. Well, they're going to take that from this and put it in the shell. Yeah. You grunt. No, you grunt. You grunt, bitch. Oh, that's it. That's a good grunt. That's a good grunt. Yeah. Okay. Terrible. No, I love when I do improv. Like you're supposed to be super supportive of everyone around you. And I'm like, no, bad choices. Okay. I look at us because I'm in Toy Story 5. We're all getting. You had to. I knew you were going to mention that. No, I'm going somewhere with this. The point I'm making is that we are all getting voice over work. And it's because of this podcast, people are hearing our molyfuelous tones. And they're like, give me some of that. I want that in my movie or in my TV show. You know what I want to do? What? ASMR audiobooks? audiobooks? After dark erotic fiction. Oh, the lady was ready. Oh my god. You'd be so bad. The lady would be like KG. I'd be so boring. Wait, was the most erotic thing? You can think of the lady was ready. The lady. Wait, that's not my wife says it. The lady was ready. The shoe salesman approached. What are you looking for? I'm thinking of something that's comfortable, but I could potentially wear it to an outdoor garden party. We had this for them and the lady was ready. The lady was ready. Somewhere out. Somewhere out there. There's one person going. That's my jam. Would you put a lot of like crunching noises and stuff? And isn't the idea to have different tones? I guess that's kind of but you might be thinking a little bit more of mukbang. No, I wasn't because I've never heard that before. Well, I forgot to say to you explain about mukbang in the Korean episode of Conan Without Borders. It's where you. I don't know what mukbang is. So how could I have done something that I've never heard of before? People eating on mic. It's disgusting. Oh, it's awful. Yeah, yeah. I think it was called mukbang. Yeah, it did me go to a mukbang. Did we go to a mukbang? Well, can you? It's encouraging to swamp, yeah. Where the ladies are ready. You're a fool. Which one are you talking to? So, Blay, when and where can people see this big city greens episode starring Matt Gourley, Sonom Obsession, and a silent Aaron Blair? I'll right now on Disney Plus. Great. Check it out. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom Obsession, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Leo. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and BritCon. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com/Colon. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are down the lead.