Anderson .Paak (+ Special Musical Guest)

This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep. If you go to helixsleep.com, you take their sleep quiz. It takes like a minute. Are you a back sleeper? Are you a back or side sleeper? Side. Same? Funny you ask, okay? Thanks. Because I used to be a side sleeper all my life, but the last three weeks, both my sides hurt. I forced to sleep on my back, and I never could, and I'm doing it now. And the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. Also, I've told you about this. Are you putting a pillow under your legs? No. I'm telling you, Dad. Put pillows under your legs. It puts pressure off your lower back. I love Helix mattresses. They will mail the mattress to you. Aunt Lauren has one. Right. Teddy got one. Teddy got one. We got one here and in the guest room. We got one here and the guest room. People are loving their Helix. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get a 120-day money-back guarantee. Go to helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. 20% site-wide. That's helixsleep.com slash TISO. helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. You know what I mean. What's the site? Do it. Helix Sleep. helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off the site. Hello? Hi, Ray. Anderson's here. All right. I will be outside in less than 60 seconds. Okay, cool. All right. Perfect. Bye. Let's get funky. Good boy, Stane. Anderson, what can I get you to drink? I got waters, teas, coffees. Waters, dude. Room temp or cold? Room temp. My friend? Thank you. Sorry, I'm painting some shit over here. I had to block everything off. Nice. That silhouette looks familiar. Yeah, I'm doing a Mortal Kombat theme in here, and I have a whole bunch of, like, big Raiden action figures. Right. Get over here. What's up? What's up? That was Scorpio. What is it? Get over here. Oh, Scorpion. Yeah. What's up, Alvin? Are you bringing gifts? I am. I was plotting when you stepped up into someone's house, you should. Well, you know, it's funny because I have something for you, but let me focus this up first. Dude, Cowabunga. Yeah, I figured if you know Scorpion, you know. Yeah. My second favorite artist after you. Mm-hmm. You got my socks? Here, let me have you look into the lens for a sec. All right, good? Oh, yeah. What are the golden headphones? Um, it was this new, uh, uh, we just, my podcast just won some awards for, it's called the Signal Awards. Congrats. Uh, thank you. Does it feel good? You know, this is going to sound really ridiculous, but as award winners, it's just, it's a novelty at this point. You know? I mean, you win stuff and it's just like, I don't do it for them. Right. I'm glad they appreciate it, but I just do it as an expression for myself. Don't make no awards for that. That's, actually, you're right. Which is a big old bummer. Just do it for the love. Yeah, who would give that, though? Mm. The man upstairs. I live alone. Hello? Hello? Yo. Also, this is going to be controversial, and we can edit this out if you feel strongly against it, but I truly believe that God's a woman. I believe it, too. Yeah. So now we can say whatever the f*** we want and save it for the rest of the show. Yeah. Theme music. God is a woman. i want uh do you get high depends you don't have to gummies gummies i wanted to take one Yeah, shoot. Yeah? That'll help. Yeah. That'll help. Yeah. Cute. I know these ones, too. This brand? Yeah. Free plug. It's by far my favorite. Mm-hmm. Wild. All right. You've been enjoying, right? This episode is sponsored by PrizePix. Anderson, give me one sec. Daddy needs to make a little bit of money. Yeah. Download the PrizePix app today and use code TISO to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TISO to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks. It's good to be right. I eat Factor. My mom eats Factor. I've actually been meeting a lot of people recently who use Factor. You can head to factormeals.com slash TISO50 off and use code TISO50 off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor. hey anderson it's only new subscribers only varies by plan one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active do you want to see me do stand up well ricky's on the loose tour is in effect and i am working on my hour wanting to get it to the place that i'm ready to film my special i have a lot of cities that are not announced yet but here's what we have so far in march i got houston texas in april i got austin texas in may i have cleveland ohio and dallas texas in september i have portland oregon we got some more coming up spokane washington st louis philadelphia pittsburgh washington dc maybe nashville i'm still finding out so go to rick glassman.com to buy tickets to my show and also you could sign up for my email list i don't spam you all i'm going to do is let you know if i book a show and i'm coming within 50 miles of your city so if you want to come you could come again that's rick glassman.com to get tickets and to sign up from my email list now back to the episode is like this with everyone you know when people ask i always tell me yes please oh tell you yes wouldn't it feel better if i said no oh yeah you're right to be honest with you i don't know how he's like with other people because normally when people walk in he gets so scared of their energy he like runs away and he'll piss and shit everywhere and he vomits and then for like weeks he has blood in his stool i've never seen him like this they say they're just like their parents well that's an anti-semitic kind of we have bad stomachs because of the inbreeding in eastern europe but we're okay is that a pickle on your uh on your um thing or is that a could be looks like a almost like a peanut with no it doesn't centipede caterpillar caterpillar yeah it doesn't look like a peanut much to me what does that mean to you um i like the color green it means uh you know greens for the money honey i was actually just there's a beautiful woman leaning over and i was playing with one of her nipples with the flaps the flaps yeah that's what i thought oh the nipple you're saying the nipple was a flap no i thought like her like you know undergarments were right there oh i was picturing her bent over and this is her nipple okay yeah so the titties were coming down yes nice no bags telling you god's a woman man god bless her so i'm gonna ask you some hard-hitting questions and um i've seen some of your interviews and people are very nice right to you and you are very nice person this is not that kind of podcast all right how many people have you slept with and what was the most money you made in a year and don't tell me which is which okay just tell me the two numbers and I'm going to guess which is which. 30 mil. And what was the most money you've ever made in the year? Okay. That's a fun clip. I think we can call it. Let me get my gift and if I like it, we'll stay. Did you say your mom told you to always bring a gift? Yeah. Do you really bring a gift every time you go to a podcast? Yeah. Is it always this? So this is your podcast gift okay yep you spelt my name wrong have you been no to the andes yeah no you'll love it i would but i'm scared because i hear everybody there has really great breath and whenever i'm just like i get a little insecure because it's cold there and when you have hot bad breath you breed like everyone knows oh there's something what is this yeah speaking of which that's fucking crazy reason for the season these are like the musical artist wet ass mouth is that what it stands for yeah the mints or the music the mints what yeah i got something for you real quick what's that over there sorry i thought i saw um pretty cat you don't have to open it now really i like it can i yeah if you want to look at that fred siegel you know they closed down i know i missed that that's where i found out about cool brands same really yeah you know this is a corridor sweater i went to the corridor shop to get it you know how i found out about it red seagull did i tell you that already what you know about beanie seagull uh the mafia man the philadelphia rapper um he knows about him beanie mac i i uh i don't know if i should bleep this because a lot of my audience thinks i'm like they look up to me i don't know a lot of things you do you'll know a lot of rap i've seen you go off i've seen you go off on a lot of hip-hop i just got lucky all will combine you'll leave the world shook this right here it is one for the books yeah no such thing as halfway crooks yo lamar go ahead and sing that hook Okay, there you heard it With auto-tune, it's perfect Once we have it dialed in post My man, Lamar, I'm really doing the most Yeah, you took that song in a whole new direction Where were you inspired with those inflections? Yeah, I'll be spitting the truth Look at my erection I'm telling you, man, it points in each one direction One direction, two direction, three direction, four One pock, two pock, no pock, no more Yeah, his name is Clarence He went to a public school Psych private school, yeah You got that operatic sound Like Bugs Bunny with the glove Raising it around and holding it up His shirt unties, the guy's breath turns wide And his face red and hides And he puts it up like a jack-o'-lantern You jack, I'm jack, three jacks, no jack, none No jack, no jack, no jack, none I can put the low jack, low jack, low jack on my Run, run, so I will always find you Look left, look right, bitch, I'm behind you Damn! Surprise, I'm inside you Wait, no, no, no, no, no That didn't sound great I love it I love the hip-hop that you know, too It's like, that's like usually me, like I know these three years Exactly And I would kill it How is that you? You have to know everything, you're part of it No, I don't, I know very little Was there a period of time That really kind of That is your point of reference Obviously you know more than that, but what is that period? Is it 2000? I think it's like, anywhere from like 93 to like 2000 Oh, you started young, you're 40, right? Yeah You're a little bit older than me 11 years Really? You're 11 years older? No, I'm going to be 30 In July Wow Yeah But I love Mortal Kombat And Ninja Turtles From when they rebooted it Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, absolutely Older brothers and sisters, I suppose I remember when people started liking rap Because I'm from Cleveland And people love Bone Thugs-N-Harmony I'm going to miss everybody It's 99, it's where you're from You're going to straight from Cleveland You've got a great voice I was kind of scared of them Why? Because they used to talk about Ouija boards and stuff And like Yeah I don't know I was scared but also obsessed And that album, East 99 It was like, wait a minute What did they just say? Ouija board And like, it was kind of like Are you still afraid of Ouija boards? Do you have them? I don't Good But I used to use them Because that's how I practice talking to women I see I feel like I would have a hard time If we were having a meal together To know if there's the difference between you Understanding something Versus eating a delicious food Does that make sense? But my first rap album was If you could call I mean, I guess it's an album But it was pretty curated It was Tupac's Greatest Hits So which is, I guess, a few different albums I got that at the same time About Backstreet Boys Millennium Because at my Jewish summer camp I was introduced to both of them And I thought both of them were very cool And it wasn't until I got back to the real world Of not at summer camp That I found out people judge you If you like rap Mm-hmm And I thought, well, I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I mean, what kind of rap? No, my brother made a little bit of Poked a little fun at me For wanting to get a Backstreet Boys album And I wasn't like, who cares? I had no idea What are you talking about? This is just as cool as Changes Yeah, true And they had great They had bangers, both of them But you got that Tupac album after he died? Yeah, it was in It must have been after he died Because of my age That's what I would have been I'm like, you don't have the actual All Eyes on Me or like No All Eyes on Me is on the Greatest Hits Though, I think Mm-hmm It's a two-part album Right, but not the full album, huh? Mm-mm Will Linium? Were you into Will Smith back then? I saw it That's right I've been into Will Smith since You were probably 30 And I was a little I was a little I was 19 Yeah, just a little tight You were even earlier than that Right Yeah One of the first songs I remember listening to To memorize Not because I heard it so much But listening and rewinding It was It was Wild Wild West and Rough Riders Those are those two songs Here we go Oh, no Wild Wild West, yeah Thump it to the Wild Wild West We're going straight to The Wild Wild West This is awesome Going straight to Wow Now, once upon a time in the West Man, man, lost his damn mind in the West Loveless, putting up a dime, nothing less Now he must put his behind to the test May I? Because it's It looks like something I'm familiar with Is this I'm doing it Yep, I knew it She and many crickets I hope it's literally Um, animate two, three, four ravens Sitting underneath Hey, I know that looks like a video game, but You want to hit them? And it's, I do That's a beautiful kid So, shout out to my friend Christian Who does the sound mix for this Who knows your friend Or something, I don't quite understand But he found out He even came over and he found out What heights you're supposed to be at So, um, let's put up a little video Of Christian going like this Christian, you did your big one Um, is this I mean, I want to get to it It looks a little I know, I was thinking of moving the drink fridge Um, I'm sure we could figure it out I could I don't want to mess up your lighting Here, I'll be right back to you while you get back there I want to say going like this could work, but Just be careful I don't want you to Try going from the side first If that doesn't work, do that Okay Yeah, that's, uh Fridge I mean, you could Yeah I see, there is a Ouija board Yeah, I'm not going on that side Okay, don't get behind me Yeah, that's fine Um Shit i mean Maybe we can I'm kind of over it now How about we pop this instead Do you want me to open that? Yeah, screw it You led me to drink It's room temp, I have cold stuff Am I opening this? I like it I gotta figure something out I might call Christian Tell him to move it over maybe yeah do you normally have people do that for you i assume yeah yeah i also um i also am difficult so i'm not gonna i don't want to that's why i knew i wasn't like made to really be a drummer drummer it's too many parts um while i open this i still want you to answer me sincerely like uh what got me into rap was was dj cool dmx and tupac that was all within the same time dj cool sorry maybe edit that out let me clear my throat do you remember that song let me clear my throat oh yeah some of y'all know it some of y'all don't but while I got a minute here that's fire I get goosebumps I remember when I first heard that as a kid it's like a live concert it's crazy dang that was my first explicit album i was uh at the time the only albums that also i'm sure not me but a lot of other people before that were getting cassette tapes yeah my first cassette doggy style what's doggy style it sounds rough now i'm not much of a drinker i'm not sober i don't drink much um the last drink i had was actually on whiskey ginger i think i had a sip of scotch and i was drunk so um we'll bleep anything that needs to get bleeped and uh we'll keep in anything racist but okay should we go straight from the tip no i mean fancy teat that's party style i mean yeah jack i don't know my my ocd doesn't feel comfortable with that yeah you got you allow me that's a nice bottle of fred siegel i'll tell you that how's that no no oh yes like that's what they do in korea do it yeah do you You're also not supposed to hold it. You gotta let go. You're not supposed to be sitting. Stand. You're not allowed to be wearing a hat. Raiden. Thanks. Or don't come back. You know, my brother once said a cheers that just popped into my head, and I haven't heard it since I was a teenager, and I'm sure he took this from something. It's a little graphic, but I'm going to say it. To smoking blunts and stretching cunts. - Cheers. - I don't mean. Whoa. - It's fire. - Why did they close? - I don't know. It's sad, I still see it. - Pun not intended. - It's tough, man. - So I wanted to watch your movie and your people said they were gonna send it to me, beforehand and then i'm calling them out i never got it so i can't talk about it now but before we i forget about everything that we're doing and we just get high and drunk and i force you to play music with me um i don't want to bury the lead could you tell me a bit about it because it's coming out i think this week it is k-pops it's about a washed up musician that finds out he has a son that could be the next k-pop star starring myself and my actual son and i directed it co-wrote it have you directed before it was my first never even a music video no i did i've done is that you or is that me it's you i've done a bunch of music videos actually that was how i i didn't hear what you said you did or didn't i done yeah yeah i done did it i did about 10 music videos before i uh went and pitched my movie to the people that gave me the money for it because i was like i need something real let them know um but that was it is it a comedy yeah family comedy no one dies it's wholesome bleep it spoiler alert sorry where is it coming out uh amc theaters specifically amc yeah all the amc theaters exclusively and then uh is that a new thing i've never heard of something like that before yeah i don't know i think they do i mean i think that works because now people can actually see it right versus i mean if it's at some boutique thing and like oh yeah i just meant i meant to only be to have a theater chain have an exclusive right to a movie as if like pacific theaters can't have it i i mean if there was gonna be one it'd be amc yeah is it all amc's it's like 300 of them when's the last time you went to a movie i went out of here to a movie where like to the movies uh two nights ago i went and i saw uh i saw um not get help uh oh yeah is it called get out rachel mcadams yeah no help send help send did you see it nah bro it's fire it's really good i don't love scary movies because i um i get scared and it affects me when i go to sleep and if i have to go to the bathroom i might not until the sun comes up so i was a little concerned but it's a horror comedy and i think the only reason they call it horror is because there was like five moments where it was look away graphic that's what gets me you're saying it's no good yeah it stays with me i don't know it's really funny though are you a tough critic with movies i'm a very judgmental person and with that being the bell curve i love movies even bad movies to for me to be like you this is a great movie maybe i'm a tough critic but for me to say i enjoyed it it's very easy to enjoy a movie if it's bad it's fun if it's great it's fun if it's something unique it's inspiring if it's something bad that's that's i've seen a bunch it's gonna be like oh i could do this and there's oh that's how i feel about movies what about podcasts like guests when you have a guest in like i don't understand the same way um it's harder to judge things when you're part of it and i would actually love to get in a conversation with you about this okay um i have a it's the ability and the um the uh and the uh the kind of understanding of being fully present is almost a religion to me and to be in that pocket not for better or worse but just to be here how do i get there how do i stay there how do i shine in it and when i'm watching something i might be present watching it but i'm not part of it i'm this so now when i'm talking to you i might like be in my head is this am i talking too much am i not letting whatever it might be i'm not present it's a lot easier to judge when you're not present does that make sense yep could you talk on that i mean yeah um it's it's like when you take that's what i think what leads to like taking edibles or um does that help you be present drinking and stuff uh it can yeah it can enhance for sure it can help you get out of ego or whatever or you know just let go um or you know drums that's what that was one of the first things that like zeroed me in or like zeroed me out well which one i felt sometimes i feel like freedom i feel like close to that lady god i feel like like you know they say this all the time like i'm a vessel but when it's hitting right it's like that's how i feel on the drums what is that is that because it's it's also very you're you're you're you're like having this um you have to be a clock and you have to be the foundation if you're playing with a band you're the foundation so you really have to be locked in as well um so it's kind of a dual thing do i love music i play the piano i haven't been playing much i almost wanted to set up and do stuff but i don't want to get in the way um if you and i become friends and you come back on here again i want to start playing the piano more and i want to i want to rap and sing and do shit with you here i love that that being said um wait i already forgot what i was saying what we what what did you just say i'm being oh timing yeah or clock i have a hard time playing with other people right i have a really hard time playing with other people and you know it's what's funny about drums is that i feel is that everyone plays like their personality like the the how you are is how you are on the drums do you have a hard time like being around other people too or like being when i'm just gonna play by myself yes but it wasn't a choice i actually have a joke in my act about this and i've said this on the podcast before so i get insecure if i say it on stage now but i was never really bullied as a kid i also was never included and i didn't know that i just took everything at face value so when when i got older i looked back i realized i didn't really have friends growing up and i just thought everybody was busy so like i'd never played i didn't play with kids much um and i wanted to uh but i don't have a problem i don't think being around other people i have a problem because when i'm playing the piano if i can't hear me i can't play and if i hear other people i can't listen to me ah that's why you have a hard time that's what i mean by yeah it's okay no not drums piano right oh so that you weren't saying about drums i've never played the drums oh okay um it's one drums and football were two things when i was growing up i was thinking like if i if i did this i think i could be good at it i think i could be i think i'd be a good football player never attempted it no i played basketball on the piano yeah those are their opposites basketball piano drums football do you know any beatles songs on the piano no but i could play anything if i'm not nervous are you a beatles guy i love you dude i'm getting i'm not angry i'm getting um disappointed that i don't play the piano much anymore and that i didn't want to set it up i don't want to set it up and the fact that how down you are i mean you can't even get back there that's really like that's discouraging um i have a friend that i that i'm gonna text to come over at some point during this who could play with us is that fine that works um i want to figure out where you get back there uh do you think if because there's a balcony back here if you could go out yeah but it's a second story i can climb it and then i might have you um bars and tone i want to figure this out this episode is sponsored by better help and in march better help wants to acknowledge international women's day which if i'm not mistaken means women who were born internationally so if you are an american woman perhaps this does not this is not your month invite listeners to pause and reflect on the roles the women in your life play hello hi dad could you hear me yeah mom and i are outside looking at the moon it's unbelievable oh well mom i'm actually recording a commercial for better help and better help wants to acknowledge how march is international women's day or month or something and even though you're technically not an international woman you i bet the difference excuse me i'm very world worldly you know mom i've been like when you were in therapy things were you you were happier oh yeah it was literally i i think i might have told you once i felt like it was a sneeze that needed to come out and finally did it was you don't know that you have to sneeze and it just won't come out and all of a sudden you sneeze and you go oh my god i feel so much better you know sometimes when people have to sneeze you could look into the light and that is also a metaphor better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the u.s which might not be that helpful for all the international women happy international woman's day and happy americans woman day you know what i'm gonna make it world women's day that's better mom is it fair to say that um your emotional well-being matters oh my god nothing matters unless your well-being will find support and feel lighter in therapy sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash tiso that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash tiso enjoy the moon mom okay it's gorgeous that's full moon everybody you're gonna your spirits will rise just looking at that trying to get to the we got to get to we got to keep it moving ma all right love you love you bye mom i have a question after a long therapy session do you ever get hungry well vicky i i don't know if this is good for your commercial or not but i get hungry no matter what well what do you like to eat well i like to as i like to are we doing factor because i'm doing i'm eating a factor right now what i tell you yes we're doing factor i'm not kidding i should take a picture to show you that i just opened i believe you where i'm telling people we love it i'm having pot roast shredded beef and mashed potatoes and carrots and broccoli. Their food is as good as any I've ever been to and I know that sounds fake but it is the truth I have been ordering it and eating it and loving it and when you see the portion and you think you need more trust me you are full after one portion of dinner I'm telling you it's I'm having mine tonight well obviously you know how to order mom but if you want to order head to factormeals.com slash tiso 50 off and use code tiso 50 off to get 50 off and free breakfast for a year eat like a pro this month with factor they say they're just like their parents new subscribers only mom so the free breakfast ain't for you varies by plan one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active so enjoy your factor enjoy your pot roast ma wait oh I unplugged it I hung up on her well hey I tell mom I accidentally hung up on her sorry that's all right I gotta I gotta open the gate um is that what you refer to as taking a dump no that means I have to open the gate this episode is sponsored by price picks let me say thank you so much for listening to the ads this is this is the game this is how this stuff works we advertise some stuff if enough of you buy that stuff then they will continue to advertise and it helps me make money and continue to make the show so if you want to fast forward I understand but if you want to help support the podcast get some of these things you know sign up for price picks use the free use the free promotion just use the money if it works use the house money if not stop using it I mean I'm just gonna be over with you just get on there on any of these things and use it or don't use it use it or don't use it or don't use it I get it I'm peddling stuff this is the game baby this is how it works and you know this if you don't like it don't buy it don't use it but if you like it buy it use it let me tell you a little bit about price picks you get fifty dollars instantly in lineups when you play your first five dollars price picks is 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just want to try it and walk away download the price picks app today and use code Tyso to get fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup that's code Tyso to get fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup price picks it's good to be right play responsibly be responsible and as I always say make sure you just brush your teeth wash your face take care of yourself in whichever way you can maybe that means factor maybe that means eating well go ahead maybe that means better help doing a little bit of therapy it doesn't have to be this it could be anything enjoy yourself and enjoy the rest of this episode is sponsored by helix sleep you go to helix sleep.com you take their sleep quiz it takes like a minute are you a back sleeper are you a back or side sleeper side same funny you ask okay because I used to be a side sleeper all my life but the last three weeks both my sides hurt I forced to sleep on my back and I never could and I'm doing it now and the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a helix mattress also I've told you about this are you putting a pillow under your legs no I'm telling you dad put pillows under your legs it puts pressure off your lower back I love helix mattress they will mail the mattress to you aunt Lauren has one right Teddy got one Teddy got one we got one here and in the guest room and the guest room people are loving their helix mark if you want to try one at your place you get a 120 day money-back guarantee go to helix sleep.com slash tiso for 20 off site wide 20 percent set site wide that's helix sleep dad slash tiso helix sleep.com slash tiso for 20 off site wide you know what I mean what's this do it helix sleep.com slash tiso for 20 off the site this episode you did it fuck yeah dude yeah could you close the the door also I want to sit okay um let's so I have another placement of a microphone that I could put if this is in the way am I doing both that's extra you want me to you actually want me to vocalize I mean if yeah of course I have an unlimited budget here I should get it should I get a different way to have a microphone for you I thought you were gonna rap yeah but what do you want you or even right now they're missing this no I gotta get a microphone I got the neighbors is I already warned them okay um is this could you could you do this or no figure out something because I could also get a c-stand for this one we don't need that this is kind of right so we're doing it we're not Neil Peart here let's just take it like put it up here all right brilliant actually let's go so so so , so, did you see me trying to hear better and go quieter yeah dude so I don't have the uh confidence to um to freestyle right now I don't have the confidence to um to freestyle right now I don't have the confidence to um to freestyle right now I will I will I will I would love if I could be in the audience of I would love if I could be in the audience of I would love if I could be in the audience of you for a minute you for a minute you for a minute could you do that for me could you do that for me could you do that for me is anybody on raya in here they didn't let me on why not I don't know they didn't let me on why not I don't know they didn't let me on why not I don't know really yeah we'll have to send you a really yeah we'll have to send you a really yeah we'll have to send you a referral I have like 13. referral I have like 13. oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah raya let's get him on here please clip it raya let's get him on here please clip it raya let's get him on here please clip it throw it on your page we'll forward it throw it on your page we'll forward it throw it on your page we'll forward it to them to them to them and how has your time been on raya about a month ago I started going on about a month ago I started going on about a month ago I started going on dates I made a conscious effort and I've dates I made a conscious effort and I've dates I made a conscious effort and I've been meeting people been meeting people been meeting people yeah not more so instagram and a couple yeah not more so instagram and a couple yeah not more so instagram and a couple believe it or not believe it or not believe it or not live in person I've been approaching live in person I've been approaching live in person I've been approaching you take them to the same date place you take them to the same date place you take them to the same date place I have gone the only yes but that's not I have gone the only yes but that's not I have gone the only yes but that's not a thing a thing a thing well there's one restaurant I've gone to well there's one restaurant I've gone to well there's one restaurant I've gone to two dates at uh and there's a movie two dates at uh and there's a movie two dates at uh and there's a movie theater where that's the same movie theater where that's the same movie theater where that's the same movie theater I always go movie date bleep it theater I always go movie date bleep it theater I always go movie date bleep it nice my favorite I'm going on one tonight nice my favorite I'm going on one tonight nice my favorite I'm going on one tonight oh withering heights let's go oh withering heights let's go oh withering heights let's go and that's a romantic one right every and that's a romantic one right every and that's a romantic one right every movie's romantic when you're on a date movie's romantic when you're on a date movie's romantic when you're on a date with me with me with me straight to the top baby sneaking in snacks I used to but the sneaking in snacks I used to but the sneaking in snacks I used to but the podcast has been doing well podcast has been doing well podcast has been doing well I'll bring my own water but they don't I'll bring my own water but they don't I'll bring my own water but they don't mind that classy any kisses on the first date yep any kisses on the first date yep any kisses on the first date yep you're goddamn right um I don't make you're goddamn right um I don't make you're goddamn right um I don't make out on the first date usually though out on the first date usually though out on the first date usually though it's happened gentlemen it's happened gentlemen it's happened gentlemen I'm scared I'm scared that they might I'm scared I'm scared that they might I'm scared I'm scared that they might be kissing me more than they want to but be kissing me more than they want to but be kissing me more than they want to but they're they're they would feel they're they're they would feel they're they're they would feel uncomfortable to not kiss me right do uncomfortable to not kiss me right do uncomfortable to not kiss me right do you connect to that you think yeah you connect to that you think yeah you connect to that you think yeah thoughtful thoughtful thoughtful consider it consider it consider it yeah all the things yeah all the things yeah all the things what about you what about you what about you I've been having a good time on Raya I've been having a good time on Raya I've been having a good time on Raya I was married for quite a long time how I was married for quite a long time how I was married for quite a long time how long you've been single you don't know the timing you don't know the timing you don't know the timing uh roughly two years uh roughly two years uh roughly two years so that's how Alvin would say it so that's how Alvin would say it so that's how Alvin would say it dog years dog years dog years two years and is Raya your main source two years and is Raya your main source two years and is Raya your main source of income of income of income right now also dj right now also dj right now also dj meeting people in person meeting people in person meeting people in person Alvin's my uh ones and twos to meet a Alvin's my uh ones and twos to meet a Alvin's my uh ones and twos to meet a woman do you have a song about Raya or are you do you have a song about Raya or are you do you have a song about Raya or are you just asking me let me see let me see let me see pretty deuce five out of north pretty deuce five out of north pretty deuce five out of north carolina toe headed bar with a smoke show body chicken and fries we at the bob white chicken and fries we at the bob white chicken and fries we at the bob white counter and we was catching the vibe first date and we was catching the vibe first date and we was catching the vibe first date on Raya where you wanna go amc where you wanna go amc where you wanna go amc Fred Siegel Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. this is when this is when people figure out that your genius is and and why you rarely film when you're doing stuff is just looking around saying shit exposed do you watch family guy no uh then never mind i know the characters though um peter griffin uh they ask him his name and he can't give his name i don't remember the setup but it's something like that so in a panic he looks around to try and like think of a different name to say and the first thing he sees is somebody eating some peas so he goes uh pee and then he sees a woman crying and he goes tear and then he sees a flying griffin and he goes griffin so he ended up saying the same thing if if this were the writer's room when they pitched that joke we never would have seen that joke and i want to let you know uh peter griffin love it i like that you told me that you didn't like something i like that so much and i feel closer to you it's hard for me to do that it's hard for you to tell people you don't like something why'd you why'd you do it no but you you told me the truth yeah i feel like like something special with you i can like be myself and that so the way you please me isn't by making up exactly uh uh the way let me word that differently um if we were going to hang out and you were going someplace the way you would get me to come would be if um that you know that i would be uh happiest um the most pleasured it being authentic instead of telling me something right do you tell people they have a booger in their nose yeah good two three four let me see that you got something in your nose oh which one left nostril i meant which nose okay he's going all the way now that's how you please me now don't tease me it's only one way to please me gotta take it easy be yourself what else i got a little sneezy for cheesy the bees means i'm pleasing everything it's for reason i'm insecure be yourself please me bees knees but she's these crazies yeah squeeze me and squeeze me wanna hold it then you needs me you bees me now i was on raya for 19 years the cold since hope and mobe's tears now i'm drunk so nope top and culp these years when i hold a cup cups i snuck these beers now i drink it to the holy the moly you ask a moly you keep the pit in when you storing guacamole guacamole it goes brown not that that's bad it ain't me getting a malt sneeze it's malt sneeze malt these no bees i'm coming alive it's time to open up would you start not give a yeah okay oh okay i want to be able to sing i'm going to try and sing you ready hey is this a good groove dude you're it's um it's all the good versions of intimidating does that make sense it's it's it's intimidating because it's supposed to be i don't feel less than i feel like this i i feel exactly what i am not as good you know it has nothing to do with how bad i am but dude your voice and the way you do everything you're doing feels crazy i'm glad you have this because i feel the same way about you like to have like a regular conversation i can see how your brain works it's like the good intimidating like i'm like but now i feel like yeah i'm watching something now oh i didn't understand what you were saying that's such a compliment dude yeah it's like i can't oh my god this dude is like a genius he's going i'm trying to be funny i'm trying to do all this like thanks for this because uh it's a level that is such a nice compliment and then now i'm seeing you like when i'm on the kit you like turn into like a kid you're like so like you know it's crazy thank you you're crazy it's it's it feels like like i see people go on stage and sometimes they have a band sometimes they play the drums sometimes it's just a drummer and they're just keeping a rhythm and that's fun this feels like you're actually talking you know what i'm saying like conversational yeah and the way you saw me go like this and then you just very subtly changed your thing i mean anyway i i i'm not i'm not against gushing i don't want to gush right now because then it's hard to go back from gushing but do your energy and everything you're doing is incredible thank you man that means a lot from you maybe you will make me come to see a live show right um soon yeah do you want to stay there for the rest of it even while we chat fuck it do you mind no cool have you ever had a a first date where when was the last time you had a first date where you were nervous um i don't i don't get nervous on dates it's like a i i'm like you never did i'm excited yeah same i used to get very nervous you never got nervous you know what there was there was a day where i was a little nervous yeah why because this person was like i really i looked up to them i thought they were really like you know i was a little starstruck oh was it raya uh-huh was it raya i'm not gonna say any names no no no did you find this person raya um uh no they weren't a riot thing this is pre-riot wow how'd you guys meet well i got a call one day i had a star one day go ahead yeah i saw a star one day yeah she said you want to come over and play i said okay so you can tell she said usually i don't do this i know we're working together and all but um i want to know if you want to come over and have a date you know we can have a nice little dinner at my place i can have the private chef come over fix us some real nice you got any dietary restrictions i said i hate water chestnuts no beef no pork on my fork but other than that i'm good she said okay we can do sushi 8 p.m sharp i thought you're doing your chef's making the sushi that's what i said i said that's pretty ambitious you want to do sushi like private chef does she know who your chef is does she know my chef yeah like is he able to make sushi good it was her chef oh i missed her understood why you were saying you don't like water chestnuts i don't like water chestnuts she asked me if i wanted to wait so she asked you out yeah oh i almost got confused got it so she asked you out now do you have a water chestnut allergy or you just don't like i don't like the texture but if they're there could you push them aside i can't i'm easy why bring it up she asked if i had any dietary restrictions i would prefer not that's not a dietary restriction i feel you anyways i get to the place it's a big nice house like huge right she comes down the stairs and what's she wearing it's a nice beautiful like glittery jersey dress kind of designer thing what team what team it's okay oh nice some sort of louis vuitton kind of situation with some heels oh when you said a jersey dress i was picturing my grandma has like the chemise browns drew like dress it's not a real sports team this wasn't your grandma's type of sports team or a dress that's kind of like how when i um have a blue chew advertisement they say this isn't your grandfather's blue pill i had my blue shoes on me that night don't you hate those blasted things because once you start taking those things those enhancements you can't go back to having that regular damn is that is that what the saying comes from so is it just that all black people just take blue chew and that's why they say once you go black you never go back i think they're actually talking about black guys never going back to not taking exactly there are so many black women i would have approached if i knew that exactly but now you know it's not too late never too late maybe i'll get on bumble exactly Exactly. Maybe get unhinged. Maybe get unhinged. Maybe make some friends. Maybe I'll drive a Benz. Make some ends, split some ends. Oh, I got to turn my alarm off. That sounds a little illegal. I have a question. Yeah. What you, the way you just switched, what you just went to there. Yeah. I, I wanted to say what I'm feeling without needing to debrief anything. Yeah. And if it makes you feel a certain way, please tell me why did that make me anxious? But the first one didn't. Yeah. The tempo. Why? Uh, you know, I'm playing a lot of notes. The body's probably ears overwhelmed. The tension was rising in the, in the, in the groove. The BPM rises. This is kind of, you think it was the speed then? Yeah. And then maybe, yeah, it's making, I'm getting anxious. Like in the movie, this is the chase right here. Is it, is it a good anxious? You don't like that? No, it's no, no, no. It's not, it's, it's, I, I don't have a problem in discomfort. I mean, awesome. But as you were doing it longer, my anxiety was going down a little. I think it's like maybe when you're accelerating, you're going back like this and maybe because of I'm so sensitive to drugs. Did you just taste something? Enhancements are kicking in. I can see it in your eyes too, that you want me. Um, I'm trying to, uh, uh, what is it? Um, uh, what is it? Uh, Rick, here's a groove site. Shit. Here's a groove. Slightly transform. Just a little break from a norm. Something to break the monotony of all this hardcore dance. Now it's gotten to be a little bit out of control. You know, this team, the boomers, booze and grooves romance. Give me a soft summer mix. It ain't broke. It ain't. Try to fix it. Don't fix it. Just the base and let the Alpine blast pop in my TD and let it run around. Put your mix back, look back. Cause it's summertime. Summer, summer, summertime. Summertime. Summer, then, then, then run wild. Time to sit back and unwind. Oh, summer. Come up and bend and unwind. So, um, what it would have made you feel more comfortable in that first date if, if, um, your date put a set of, uh, said, do you mind sitting here for a second? And you had the whole date behind a set of drums. I would have got laid first night for sure. You don't want to do that. Nah, cause then I wouldn't have talked to her again. Is that true? Yeah. And you know that. That's how it goes. Yeah, I do. And I tell them too. Now I do. So you say, just so you know. Don't you give me that. What's that? Don't you give me that first night. Don't you do that. Not if you like me now. You've never gotten into a relationship with somebody who you slept with the first time you met them? It was rare. It was rare. You know, that's where our, if we were, that's kind of where I put them, you know, like that's, it ends up being like maybe a situation ship kind of thing. Oh. You know, I've gotten into a fair amount of relationships where. Before we met, we FaceTimed for months. So the first time we met, we had sex, but. The anticipation. We had been gotten to, getting to know each other for a little bit, but yeah, I don't know. I don't usually, I don't even usually make out on a first date for real because I don't know if they really want to. And I don't know if I really want to. And it's, have you ever had sex with somebody who you haven't made out with? Yeah. That tempo would make me anxious. How does that happen? You don't kiss them? Is this like a, is this like a prostitute situation? No. I mean, some, you know, some people think that's really intimate and sometimes you just don't, I guess you don't get there. But I've had times where people were like, let's not do that. Let's just do that. This. Let's not kiss. Yeah. And like some people were like, let's not go down each other. Just strictly. There's one person. And I hate those one person. I remember she. Um, prefers women. Um, just probably why she liked me. I was going to say you have a. Very feminine energy. No, I can. I can. I think it's because I'm so safe. I think people think of that as feminine, unfortunately, because they don't think of it as masculine. Right. But it was just, uh, and I, I mean, I'm saying this is fine. Uh, so I have, I'm always been very attracted to Asian women as a Jewish man. It's my birthright. Um, I had never at the time been with one. And she is beautiful. And sure. She doesn't like men, but she liked me. See, isn't that cool? We can turn them out. Something about you. I thought you gave up on all mankind. You know, she actually messaged me today. Well, she messaged me today. She lives in, she lives in, uh, um, in Tokyo. And, uh, she said, oh, it was a year ago. She posted something when she was in LA. It was a year ago that we got together. And that's not when we had sex. We had sex before that. But we, you know, you have sex with somebody, you stay in touch with them. Yeah. Um. You do. Not everybody, but you know, you, I haven't, I'm not going to unfollow you because we had sex. Right. But if I'm in a relationship with somebody, I'll unfollow whoever you want me to. But I want to understand your intention of why I'm comfortable making you feel safe. If it's not at the expense of me feeling controlled. Right. So, uh, she then came over and she was attracted to me and like was touching me and stuff. And, and. And, uh, I said, as I often do the first time, oh, I said, uh, can I kiss you? She said, no. And I, I didn't feel shut down because she said no. And she grabbed my leg above the knee. And she said, uh, I don't kiss men until I really get to know them. But then she started touching my cock. I said, me so sorry. I shouldn't have gone in that quickly, but I'm a little confused with what you're doing to my dickly. She said, why don't we go upstairs and get a little prickly? I took an edible. I felt a little silly. I never had sex. Auto-tune it. With an Asian. I always wanted to, to, to. I never had sex with an Asian always wanted to, wanted to, wanted to. There's this motif where girls cross their eyes when they suck your dick. Have you noticed this? It's like from anime or something. Like some girls will go like, go like, like I see it in pornographies. They go like this. Yep. Or something. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Well, I've seen it when like maybe dudes are hitting it from the back and they're like, it looked like they're in a euphoric state. Yeah. Never went up with the dick though. Which makes sense though. Cause you're, if you're looking like something at the dick and it's like right there, your eyes would go across. Yeah. They're looking at you. Yeah. Also generally, and this is like, usually when a woman sucks my dick, she's, she's a, she's pretty far away from me. Right. So like the focus from looking at me to having to look down. It's, it's just, it is. I. You are super tall. No, no. That's you. Cause like. Oh yeah. Like it's not quite, she's on the couch and I'm here, but I'm standing right where the ottoman is. Right. Anyway, she made noises that I thought was racist. It really turned me off. She made a racist. She was going like, like she was doing like, like it sounded like. I thought she was saying like anti-racist. Anti-Semitic things or something. No, no. That would have turned you on. Fuck me, you fucking Jew. Fucking Jew. Fucking Jew. Okay. That's not my kink. Also, I don't know if I want, I might want to edit out everything we've been talking about just now. Right. But we got to get, we had to, you know, to get there. I feel like if I talk about this now and we stopped talking about it, I'm going to probably want to talk about it 30 minutes later. No, it's fine. It's just so funny. Like I got to get to know you first. Anyway, that's what it was. It was too. I, I like playing with you and doing this. I don't know if I like having this be a public thing. We'll figure it out. But I will say, right. The point of that was, and I ended up having sex with her and she didn't want to make out with me and I didn't feel connected. I didn't feel, I didn't feel present. Yeah. Disconnect. It's not intimate. That's like, it's real transactional kind of. Yeah. It's the only time I've ever done it. Yeah. That's why I don't like strip clubs. Because you have sex with them, but they won't kiss you. No. I said that though, so that's what it is. The reason you don't like strip club, well, you said it. And I don't want to waste everyone's time. Do I get to edit stuff too? Yeah. All right, cool. Good edit. Yeah, just want to make sure that was right. So I want to have my buddy come in. Okay. And I'm going to make a lot of requests. Cool. My first request is that you, in this order, feel very comfortable saying no and feel very comfortable also making requests. Cool. Okay? Yeah. I am now, I know this feeling. This is a feeling you get when you find out that you're at school and a friend is going to play over after school. And you know after school, they're coming over on the bus. Yeah. And like, you don't know when this is going to happen again. I don't know when the if is going to happen again, let alone when. And I'm getting it. I'm getting really excited. And I feel myself needing to calm down. That's so cute. Okay. I want you to play and rap. I think I want to do Wild Wild West at some point. Yeah. I want to ask you guys to do some Disney shit. I want you to play. I want him, if he knows the words to it and can play it. I want to hear Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I want you guys to play and sing it. I want you to do it a certain way. And then I want to say, could you guys stop for a second? Could you do it, but could you do it more like this? Right, right, right. And I want to just like ask you guys to do stuff. Human jukebox coming by. Is this a thing? It used to be a thing. All right. Well, listen. Let's bring it back. I'm going to go. I'm going to go get him. Anything you play, keep it recording. Yeah. I don't want to miss a thing. Nice. When do we want to swap these lenses? Oh, yeah. I want to swap the lens. Thanks for whispering that. There's like an animated character that you, like, right. Do you get that? There's somebody who really looks like. I thought he looked like Benson Boone if he, if he didn't know how to flip. That's what Benson Boone would turn into if he couldn't flip. But there's a lot of people with that structure and stuff. That Benson Boone structure, like that tribe of white. Oh, maybe, maybe one of those guys, the handsome guy, the neighbors from King of the Hill. Yeah. Or is it someone out of like, yeah, it is someone out of that, that world. I'm going to, I'm going to get it soon. Yeah. Who do you usually get? When I was really young, I would get Mac Miller before I had any face. Yeah. And that was really fun. I can't keep on losing you over complications. Gone too soon. Wait. We were just singing. Hence, you know, don't do. Dang. People that know me best. The key that I won't forget. Too soon. I can't keep on losing you. Can't keep losing you. How many mistakes do you take when you leave? I wish I fucking knew more. And I use every bone in my body. Dude, me. Yeah. Hey. What's up, man? Cool glasses. Wow. Great drinking wine. It's a special day. I'm doing all kinds of crazy shit today. Don't fall asleep. Don't no way. Cause I miss you, babe. And I don't wanna miss a thing. Cause even when I close my eyes. I'm gonna never finally see. Do your thing. Do your thing. Do your thing. Doesn't it suck what's going on in this country right now where, you know? Tell me about it. Fuck ICE. Mm-hmm. Fuck ICE, more rights for the, for the immigrant. Fuck ICE, more rights for the immigrant. Prototype and I'm anti-genocide. What's the price of your soul? Money can't buy. Gotta be something in this world money can't buy. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta be something in this world, yeah. No selling mine. Buy, buy, buy. Why? Cause I don't wanna miss a thing. Oh my God. Angel with a halo on her head. Unless you wanna go crazy, go ahead. Took a couple land yay-hoes to the head. Now I'm in the back of the Waymo getting head. Oh, are you kidding me? I said, I said, now I'm in the back of the Waymo getting head. Do you think humans are obsolete? Not anymore. I did until I met you. But it's gonna take a lot of, yeah, a lot of people are gonna lose their jobs. Are we willing to rest the time? Or are we obsolete? I'm beginning to think I'm prepared for wartime. The computer versus me. You see, I'm beginning to think I'm prepared for wartime. Get where you're gonna be and we'll. Computer versus me. How you feeling, man? How was your day? Pretty good so far. Pretty good. Are you on Raya as well? No. Cool. No. I do it all in the real world. That's what I'm talking about. No apps. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Old school. Raw dog. Like, how you doing? Pull up. Straight walk-ups. How about you? A little bit of both. Yeah. I'm adjusting with the times. But I'm also on my caveman shit, you know? Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Like, pull up. Do a walk-up. How you doing? Where you from? Where you going? What we doing tonight? Pretty eyes. Pretty fly. Mm-hmm. Do you mind if I. Try to get to know you? Can you go straight a little more? I'll move the microphone. You just go somewhere. So sick of the apps. Can we take it back to a time where we can unwind? The time that. when Fred Segal was open, you know, like the good old days. You can get a corduroy shirt. You can get a corduroy pants. You can do your dance. You can feel entranced. Does this make you anxious? This is perfect. Everything is perfect. You're a genius for this. This is like. Testing level? You want a sip? Thank you. Thank you. I have to change the setting. I hate to do it, but I have to stop the audio for one second. You guys can keep talking, but people at home are going to miss this. You guys can reveal some secrets. Audio is out now. And we're back. I can't believe you guys said that. Yeah, that was pretty out. Louder. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. How can I sleep when I'm chasing dreams? How can I eat when I'm full of grief? There is a peace I have yet to reach. I'm on the break of a quantum leap in the event of emergency. Do anything to protect the family. They say the human being is obsolete, but I got an update. The pewter can duplicate the apple that we know when we're rolling, rolling, rolling on a river. You just made up some words, right? That's my favorite part of the music, too. Rolling on the river. And we're rolling, rolling, rolling on the river. Yeah, we're rolling, rolling. Go ahead and roll out. One more time. Yeah, Jack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. , yeah. Yeah. Everybody get your roll on. Everybody get your motherfucking roll on. Roll on. Everybody, everybody get your roll on. Everybody, everybody get your roll on Everybody get your roll on Everybody get your motherfuckin' roll on ♪ And we're rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river ♪ ♪ Yeah, we're rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river ♪ Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Good. Welcome to the Wellness Roof Chats. We've been expecting you. Please. Have some shrooms. Touch grass. Perhaps an Asian bitch. Do you partake? Hell yeah. Just to let you know, this will be about $150,000 a month. I'll be a guru tonight. I'm good. Yeah. No, you don't have a choice, sir. Go ahead. All right, give me a hit. Yeah. Do you want me to hit? It's the retreat. Oh, yeah, I'll take a hit. That'd be great. It's the retreat. All right. How fun. There are certain times during this podcast that I've felt, in this particular way, literally so grateful. Because of this. You know, like, there's no way this happens without the podcast. And I'm sure people will enjoy it, and I hope that they do. But, like, this is fucking crazy. It is. This is so fun. And we're having, we're drinking wine. We're smoking spliffs. Mm-hmm. You ain't stretching cunts. Not yet. You wouldn't get it. That one we just used with Brent and Adam. So, it's a little smoke. So, you're making up everything? Yeah. Well, yeah. Thank you. Well, that's it. Thank you. Thank you. That last one, rolling on the river. Yeah. You made that up just on the spot? Yeah. That kind of felt like a vessel on that one. But, yeah. That's crazy. That, for sure, was me. Like, just off the top. What does that mean to you? My mother was a gambler. Oh, right. You spent a lot of time in Vegas. Mm-hmm. And your father was a Rolling Stone. He was. Mick Jagger? Your dad's Mick Jagger. I think. And your mom had a gambling addiction. Yeah. It's kind of a match made in heaven. Was that you playing with her kids? Did you say a C7? Yeah. You got it? So, was it a C7? Let him smoke his drug. I miss smoking, man. It hurts my throat. I quit, too. So, I don't smoke anymore. Oh, my God. That's what she said. Jesus, George. I just want a little. I quit. I made a bet with my mom. She couldn't quit Diet Coke. And she was like, you can't quit smoking. And I was like, what? Let's do it. I watched that old joke of a betting open person that you could get them to quit gambling. But it sounds like the real joke is the relationship you have with your mother. One, two, three, four. You hear what he said, mom? I heard him. Yeah, I don't like that shit. So, why don't you hurt him? Yeah, I'm going to hurt him real bad. Use your words. If I was that tall, I'd be an NBA star. You would never see me driving no stupid car. I would chill in the motherfucking bar like, hey, what's up? If I was that tall, I'd be riding with Goliath. Chilling with the motherfucking new riots. You would always probably see me on riot. But you know, we ain't going to kiss on the first date. Because what I say, I'm too tall for the look anyway. I don't know how about it, what a play. I just do the shit because I'm all this hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see, when you're tall like me, you overlook all the hating and shit. Ain't no debating. Ain't no debating with a bitch. What I say, I mean. You know, I'm so sick, it might get you squeamish. Yeah. You know, a black man told me one day, he said, I ain't never seen nothing like this. What was his name? His name was, I believe his name was Tootie Ray. Tootie Ray. Yeah, Tootie Ray from around the way. Was that the guy that he played the violin? Yeah, he did. They made a movie about him. That's right. Jamie Foxx. Yeah. Robert Downey Jr. I believe so, right? Yeah. Yeah. What was that pitch meeting like? Honestly, I think they got fun and just off of the, like, FaceTime review. What is the face that you're saying? The face of the two stars? Oh, you've never done a movie on him? No. Yeah. Never done a movie like that. It shows. Just shows, yes. A few, actually. I hate it. What you been quite a big fan of? What you been call it? Yeah. Thanks, man. You know, it's that we actually took the IP from a candy bar and they turned it into a television show. You know how much I made per episode? I was going to say, I can tell. You were cut out the deal, weren't you? No, I had a good deal. Do you know how much I made an episode? How much? A hundred grand. Talk about a payday. Take a break. I'm not that tall. I would have all the candy bars you can dream of, yeah. A lot of candy bars. You never seen, bruh. I'm talking Snickers. I'm talking Heath bars, yeah. What you gonna call it? These are the greatest candy bars. Bueno. Bueno. Que otra? Kinder. Kinder. Hmm. Kinder bueno. Mmm. Fuego. Roger Dago. Okay, bro. Where's Swaygo? To Winnebago? I'm having a halo. Hey-ho. Oh, shit, cops. Lay low. If I was a little bit shorter, I wouldn't be a basketball play-er. I would have developed later. I probably would have thrown a football. I wish I played football when I was younger. Maybe girls would hunger. I would hug her on our first date instead of look away because I am scared of people not telling me the truth, not being not rude. Be rude, but tell me who I am, dude. I don't even know if you're lying or if I'm flying. I took everything literally. I realized that my parents lied to me. Then I realized that everybody lied to me. It wasn't my parents. It wasn't the community. It was human species. Trying to people please. I don't like people please. People please, please. If I pleasing me and understand who I am, see, I am somebody who has a little blankie because you are wearing outdoor clothes. Ho, who never knows bows. I have bought new clothes since Fred Siegel goes. So I took a sip for my situation shit because if you kiss and fuck on a first date, that's it. I miss a thing. Permission to shake the hands of the bravest man's daughter I've ever met. Phil. Um, Bruce Willis. The science guy. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Explosion. Boom, boom, boom. Chemistry and boom, boom, boom. I'm talking to Eli, the science guy. I wish I was a little bit taller. Wish I was a baller. Wish I had a girl I would take spoiler. Wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four. I wish I was like six foot nine so I can get with Nayoshi. And she don't know me, but yet she's really fine. You know, I see her all the time. Everywhere I go and even in my dreams, I can see her ways to make a mind. Because I know she's living far. Her first friend's tall and he plays ball. So how am I going to get with that? Because when it comes to playing basketball, I'm always last to get picked and sometimes, sometimes never picked at all. So I just hang up on the walls or the bleachers with the rest of the girls that came to watch their man ball. Damn, y'all. I never understood black was a. Don't say it. Skit, skaddle, skababble. Got hit with a bottle. Been in the hospital for talking that mess. I confess it's a shame when you're living in the city that's the size of a jungle and nobody knows your name. Glad I came to my senses. And I quit, quit, but I get, quit, and I get, quit, got to get, quit, to the coming, to the being a together, right? But when I asked her out on Raya, she said I wasn't her type. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl I could call and spoil her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat, but I do, in fact, have a six-four Impala. What do you drive? A Q5 hybrid electric. Hybrid. Hybrid. That's what I say right before I make a sandwich. Hybrid. Hey there, jelly. Don't be cheesy, Swiss. Before I get my blood work, I say hi to Mayo. Mayo Clinic? Ah, that went over my head. I think it went under your feet. I appreciate the benefit of the doubt. All right, okay, anything you guys want to plug? How are you feeling? Can I offer you anything to drink, anything to whatever? You know, I brought some water, although, you know what, actually, that wine does, it's just sitting there, you know? Yeah, do you mind? Yeah, it's, um, it's tasty. It really is. But I also think, I also think, because I've decided that I'm drinking it, like, it's opened a different thing, like, oh, then have some. Do you have kids? No kids. I have an ex-step-kid. Does that count? That's awkward, huh? What your relationship is, it counts. Where are you going with the PS5? Yeah, exactly, right? So, um. You know. Yeah, I know. Anderson, this is George. George, this is Anderson. George, nice to meet you, man. Yeah, great to meet you, bud. Crazy, man. George, um, along with some of my best friends, John Brenton, and Allison, we all lived in the same building when I first started this podcast. Um, and George was about, when I first started the podcast, it's because I have a lot of funny friends, and I wanted to just have my friends who lived in the building with me just come over, record it, and turn it into something. I asked George to help, because at the time, I never listened to podcasts, and he did. Hey, help me out, like, I want to edit this down, and he said, just keep it all, like, that's what podcasts are. And I didn't feel comfortable with that at first, because in podcasts, there's a lot of, it's not something curated. And George, I know you know this already, but I'm telling the audience and you, gave me the confidence and the structure of this to decide, oh, it's okay to not be funny all the time, just make it a long-form thing. So George helped start this podcast, and then years later, I started having more musicians on, and like, one of my favorite things to do, and that's why I told you beforehand off-camera, in case somebody ever doesn't want to share the time with something, is meet a musician, and then let them meet my friend. And I love the way he makes, I used to go to his place, like, at three in the morning after shows, I'm stoned, he, I don't know if he slept, and I would just go in, and he has all these guitars on the wall, and I would say, will you play me this? And like, I would, like, human jukebox shit, and then he turned me on to Tom Waits, who I never knew about before, Paul Simon I knew of, but I wouldn't say I was a fan of his, I just knew Paul Simon songs. And, um, uh, uh, what, what's the Paul Simon song that I love? American Tune. American Tune got me into him. Do you know that song? Um, it's one of my favorite songs, um, and by the way, I don't know how this works with everybody, but if at any point you feel you just want to listen, listen, but if at any point you want to play a little something, uh. Actually, no, I'm a little chilly. You're chilly? I was like, I was going to ask you to make it colder. Yeah, I see you sweating a little bit. Yeah, it's just hot. I'm putting it back. But maybe it's this. Yeah. This is kind of. You want to take that off? It's warm. No. It does look nice. Yeah, it looks nice. Um, so this is a Paul Simon song, American Tune. I've now listened to, on my playlist, there's probably nine different arrangements of this. It's one of my favorite songs. Well, many the time I've been mistaken. And many times confused. Yes, and I've often failed. I've always been forsaken and certainly misused, oh, but it's all right, it's all right, for we've lived so well so long, still when I think of the road we're traveling on, I wonder what's gone wrong, I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong, and I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed and my soul rose unexpectedly, and looking back down at me, smiled reassuredly, and I thought, oh, I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong, I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong, I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong, and I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed and my soul rose unexpectedly, and looking back down at me, smiled reassuredly, and I dreamed I was flying, and high up above, my eyes could clearly see, the Statue of Liberty, I dreamed and my soul rose unexpectedly, and looking back down at me, smiled reassuredly, and I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed I was flying, I dreamed I was flying, I'm from Oxnard, California. - Dude, I'm from Camarillo. - Stop playing 805 on me. - 805 all the way, baby. - Yeah, that's how it feels, man. Like you got the vibe for sure. - Amazing. - This is like, man, yeah, I grew up with Oxnard and Ventura. - Yeah. - Camarillo, wow. - Yeah, and my folks still live there. - How was it growing up there? 'Cause I always wondered like who young lives here? - It was beautiful. I mean, we were in Santa Rosa Valley. - Okay. - I don't know, it was good, you know? Quiet, boring. - Yeah. - Don't wanna live there now, that's for sure. sure right but um you're a kid where you're like i'm getting out of this town kind of yeah that's how it was yeah early early on there was a website called camarillo sucks.com wow it was just there was an early website and it was just stories of why camarillo sucks so much hilarious we're 805 you know uh my first time i used to come to la all the time because my my mom's parents lived here and they lived in camarillo so for the first 20 years of my life when i've been to california probably 10 15 times i was either at the airport or i was in camarillo what i told you that once before that's crazy because when i when i when i drive down that hill i still get nostalgic and miss them because that that was that's away from the airport you're from camarillo i'm from oxnard which is right next to the next town over do you think if you're from camarillo your mom would have been uh better with her money uh well i don't even know if she lost i just figure over time i have to imagine right otherwise you don't call it a gambling problem you call it a gambling skill nobody says you have a problem with the drums but they probably do say i have a problem talking too much while you're playing the drums two three four don't play let me talk i want to understand you know why is it that people are just trying to control other people you know i mean as a drummer yourself don't you like to keep your own tempo um i like to play to my own beat you know what i like to play to something that feels good not just for me um for everyone else two three exactly hold on i think two three three four play i don't want to miss the thing though oh yeah yeah you start it or you start it play me my song true to form no i'll tell you what i do want george here's what i do want i really want it to be at least for a little bit close to it i don't want it to be a ballad before it gets funky as shit i want to hear it i want to hear it and then i want to i want to see it i want to see it go away but what's a good key for that song that's a hard song hey man if you don't want to do it i got uh live tyler's husband outside who could probably play it i could stay away slow it down please go ahead breathe in you want to sing no please why you're far away dreaming i could spend my life in this sweet surrender burning stay lost in this moment forever every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure don't want to close my eyes don't want to fall asleep because i miss you babe and i don't want to miss a thing because even when i dream of you the sweetest dream will never do because i miss you babe and i don't want to miss a thing and i don't want to miss a thing i don't know the verse feeling your heart beating and i'm wondering what you're dreaming yeah you go and i know that you're pursuing yes i could hear your voice underneath the basement i can't believe that bitch is alive i know i'm not that terrible of a guy but i don't want to fall asleep don't want to know if it's really me i miss you babe and i don't ever miss a thing even when i close my eyes the dream i realized i miss you babe and i don't want to miss a thing i don't want to miss one thing i just want to be right here right here with you just like this i don't want to fall asleep it happens don't want to push it don't want to fall asleep call the cops on me because i miss you babe and i don't want to miss a thing even when i close my eyes i still realize i miss you babe and i don't want to miss a thing no babe and i don't want to miss a thing yeah i miss you baby come back to papa don't want to miss a thing say baby i'm sorry i know i haven't been there lately but i just want to say this one thing when you're looking up at that big red moon in the sky and you're hooked up with some other guy you're hooked up with some other guy and you're hooked up with some other guy and you're hooked up with some other guy and you're hooked up with some other guy i hope that you know i really hope that you know that i can't let you go and i don't want to miss you and i really miss you and i want to kiss you come on baby i don't want to miss a thing and i don't want to miss a thing and i don't want to miss a thing and i don't want to miss a thing bring it home to papa pardon me miss allow me the pleasure to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man i've ever met and gentlemen when you stand on my front line just know this is not just what you're doing for you and i but for the life rights of our children's children i swear on my sweet mummy's life that if it's him versus i then we must unite don't worry about missing a thing because you see we are that thing the joy that brings the telephone that rings yes the ice the necklace that blings the little child that brings and sings the bee the bumblebee he stings that man with those beautiful eyes he must be chinese i'm forgetting her name is ling believe it all blur it all whatever it is however it is pardon me miss pardon me miss permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man of the bravest man i've ever met and boy are my arms again i don't want to close my eyes i don't want to fall asleep cause i miss you babe oh i miss you babe i said detroit i miss you baby i miss you baby and i don't want to miss a thing i said i don't i meant it when i said i do not i don't want to miss a thing i could not and i would not i don't think you heard me detroit i said i and everyone goes could not would not motherfucker i should not been playing in the same room too much i was going to say pale too much i wanted you to say pale too much and for a second when you were like this i thought you were saying oh i know what you're talking about i'm like there's no way and then yeah oh no i got you missus ling it's one of those yeah dude i know this isn't the best this can't be the best time i've ever had ever but i'm not going to say it's not the best time i've ever had but like it's up there for me can i tell you guys a story about something about my mom and it'll take four minutes sure would you say no you looked away i'm not gonna do it yeah what's going on with your mom When I was a kid, and pardon me if I've said this. I know I've said this on stage before. If I said this on a podcast, I get insecure if I'm repeating a story. But when I was a kid, I remember going to Jim's Open Kitchen with my parents. I don't know how old I am, but I'm less than 10, but probably close to it. Let's say I'm eight. Okay. Great. You're eight. I like it. The great eight. And my mom had an omelet. And I remember she said, this is the best omelet I've ever had. And I remember being so psyched for my mom and curious why my dad and my brother weren't. I don't know how many omelets my mom has had. I'm a kid. But like, that's crazy. This is the, like, are you, like, I was, I was curious. The next time we went to Jim's Open Kitchen, my mom again said, this is the best omelet I've ever had. And I remember being blown away. But not only were the two best omelets my mom ever had, back to back, out of all of them, these are the best. I also remember thinking how dope it is that she had this one this time. Because otherwise, it would have the best omelet. That she ever had. And if she had the one that she had before that, it wouldn't have been as good. Because the second one was better than the first one. Same omelet, same restaurant. Same, same restaurant. Different omelet. Different day. So I thought my mom had the second best. She had the best omelet she's ever had. Then the next time, that became the second best. And she had the best omelet she's ever had. So I was thinking, so if she had this one first, she would have only had the best omelet she ever had one time. And I remember questioning the logic of that. The chances of that being fucking stoked for my mom. Then she said, this is the best. Something I ever had. And like that, it was all, it all, my eyes were open. And I realized, my mom's lying. Right. I didn't resent it yet. And I said something, if it's still in there, about noticing my parents lie. I remember realizing, I think my parents are liars. And now it's like, are my parents liars? Or are just people liars? I don't think my parents lie than most people. I think I just learned when my parents lie before I learned when other people didn't. So I couldn't see it. So I believed everything. So, for a while, I was. I was a bit resentful of not believing what my mom says. And then I, as an adult, I realized something. That my mom truly believed it was the best omelet she ever had. And I believe that. My mom is so here and present and appreciative and grateful and loves things. I mean, you know her enough to believe that. She truly had the best omelet she's ever had. And I'm sure a lot of omelets she has are probably the best. And it made me think of this. I'm like, well, I can't say this is the best time I've ever had. I don't believe that. There's been so many times I can't even think about. But right now, this is the best omelet I've ever had. And this is fucking awesome. Yeah, man. I like how you brought that home. That was great. Two, three, four. Bring it on home. When the story's taking too damn long. Bring it on home. Bring it on home. Bring it on home. Bring it on home. Cause you've been going on about it too long. Bring it on home. Story's too long. Story's too long. Story's too long. If I was a building, I'd be seven feet tall. Cause too many stories and I don't want to fall. If you fall from a short stoop, you don't get hurt. But you don't see how beautiful is the earth. You gotta go high to get higher. Get high to go low. Oh no. I know if the story went too long, for sure. But I told you before, Tom. He said, go for it. But I noticed you looked away. You look down and I say, I won't say what you're saying. Tell the story, stay, go ahead. And I fell safe. Then the beat. I can see that I'm losing you. You're looking away. Checking your phone. You've been on Maya all day. Cause I'm talking too long. And I don't want to understand why. It's time to bring it on home. But I don't want to talk too long. Time to bring it on home. Story's too long. Story's too long. Bring it on home. Why don't you bring it on home? Why don't you stop being an asshole and bring it on home? You've been holding us hostage with this fucking conversation. Bring it on home. Story's too long. And now an excerpt. You asked me to read you something. I said I will. Take a moment. Have a pill. All the other drugs are in my cell. I've got the whole system. But I got hope. Chapter 5 tells us we got hope. Dope. But I don't give a shit. It don't float. That's a fun movie. It's a fun story. But I got bored. The story's too long. Story's too long. Too long. Too long. Too long, dude. I learned how to drive without them. I learned how to shave without them. I learned how to shoot hoops. I got pretty gam, too, didn't I, Uncle Phil? Mm-hmm. That's right. Who needs a dad? I learned how to fight without them. I had 14 birthdays without them. He never even sent me a card. To hell with them. To hell with them. ♪ I forgot her. So I had to sign her. It's my motto. ♪ Wild Wild West, Jim West, Desperado, rough rider ♪ ♪ No, you don't want nada, none of this ♪ ♪ Gunna-da, none of this, brother runnin' this, buffalo soldier ♪ ♪ Look, it's like I told ya, any damsel that's in distress ♪ ♪ Be out of that mess, we'll see me, Jim West, with three pride ♪ ♪ Check the flow in the bod, watch your step, we'll flex ♪ ♪ Get ahold of your pride, swallow your pride ♪ ♪ Don't let your lip react, don't wanna see my hand run hippy ♪ ♪ Yeah, with Artemis, from the start of this, front of the game ♪ ♪ James West, Tame of the West, so ♪ ♪ Remember the name ♪ ♪ I remember the name, and I remember the fame ♪ ♪ Back when yesterday came, I thought I would be famous forever ♪ ♪ But then Sam rang, Sam rang, yeah ♪ ♪ That was the album that did it, motherfucker ♪ ♪ That court case, quit it, yeah ♪ ♪ You know, when I staked, and I thought, and I thought, and I thinked ♪ ♪ And I rocked, and I fought to get to this spot ♪ ♪ Kinda makes me, um ♪ ♪ Feel like ♪ ♪ We're going straight, mm, to ♪ ♪ Wild West ♪ ♪ We're going straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west ♪ ♪ Straight, straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west ♪ ♪ We're going straight to ♪ ♪ Now, once upon a time in the west ♪ ♪ Man, man, lost his damn mind in the west ♪ ♪ Loveless, picking up a dime, nothing less ♪ ♪ Now we must put it behind to the test ♪ ♪ Then through the shadows, saddle, ready for battle ♪ ♪ Bring all your boys in, you come to poison ♪ ♪ Behind your back, all you riffing, you're dead ♪ ♪ And front and center, uh ♪ ♪ Now where's your lip at, kid? ♪ ♪ Who that is? A bad brother, bow for your health ♪ ♪ Looking damn good, though, if I could say it myself ♪ ♪ You say that he's a something, something, lip it again ♪ ♪ Front and center, now where's your lip at, kid? ♪ ♪ Who that is? ♪ ♪ Head on your hip, head on your slit ♪ ♪ But don't you dare put your hand on my clit ♪ ♪ Until we kiss, we going straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west, we going straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west, we're going straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west, we're going straight to ♪ ♪ The wild, wild west, we're going straight to ♪ Wild, wild west, going straight to wild, wild west, going straight to wild, wild west, going straight to wild, wild west. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, wild, wild west, do, do, do, do, west. The state doesn't touch a bull like Elliot Ness. The track hits your eardrums like a slip to your chest. Back of Westport or Jimmy in the city, it says, we in that sunshine state with a bomb ass envy. A place where you never see a dance floor empty and pimps be. On a mission for them greens, leaning mean money, making machines, serving fiends. I've been in the game for 20 years, making rap tunes. Ever since honey was wearing Sassoon, now it's 95. And they clock me and watch me diamond shining, looking like I robbed Liberace. It's all good from Diego to the bay. Your city is the bomb if your city making bank. Throw up a finger, you feel the same way. Trey putting it down, but we're going straight to wild, wild west. We're going straight to wild, wild west. Wild, wild west. Wild, wild west. Wild, wild west. We're going straight to the wild, wild west. Do you watch baseball? Can't stand it. Damn. Because I love it. Right. Always sit when I watch baseball so I can relax. Yeah. Why do you ask? Because it's America's pastime. And the back-to-back champions don't play around. It's filthy, bro. The Toronto Blue Jays? You tried it. Nelly Dodgers? L.A. Yeah Dodger Blue Mmm Doyer Blue Mmm Is it interesting to think of being blue as something happy? Mmm And how much we've allowed the language of other people To dictate how we feel about ourselves You know, if there was no word for stress you'd feel it you just wouldn't know how to define it do you think we need to define things like feel it more i think when you define things you could pinpoint where they come from easier yeah so you think it's important to give things a name i think it's important to understand the names you give things why do you think they call it stress because backwards is the only word that says street streets streets stress stress stress stress stress you know mama think mama thought mama fought let me re-talk mama thought i had Tourette's syndrome when i was younger why is that because i was tweaking out geeking out i was seeing what all the fuss was about and i tried to explain like it's just a feeling like but i think back then the teachers kind of wanted to like label something yeah but they didn't realize what i was doing the sounds that i was making it's beatboxing mom yeah if i were a teacher and i heard some child doing that i my first thought would be that might be Tourette's or yeah so did you have 15 years of Ritalin just because my beatboxing you thought it was Tourette's i'm just kidding when you got off Ritalin did you start beatboxing to a higher bpm yeah you've heard of dougie fresh right dj cool yeah yeah also go watch my movie february 27th k-pops in all amc theaters k-pops family movie our i don't know bring your ex step son it's probably perfect for that probably not no i think so let's bring the family together hey kid you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome i'm leaving your mom and i'm taking the ps5 with me now listen you don't give me those sad dog puppy dog eyes because i tried and i'm gonna tell you another thing never really liked you this is not how this is if you're watching this we all really love you seriously but you got heart kid and i think you're gonna be all right but listen me i gotta go why don't ask why kid just know that i tried kid taking the ps5 but what if i don't like it you don't get what you like you get what you negotiate but should i fight it well you can hide it i might have already well just keep it steady steady as you go steady as you blow steady as you blow steady as you blow thanks dad you got it champ i mean george george well i guess i'll go work at the dog store he got into drugs his ex step kid something that he never did was a great baseball player always slid home damn time damn shame shame shame shame the kid was never late not for a meal for a date anybody seen timmy timmy timmy timmy he's usually here what's up with all the hate my name is george i'm leaving you my name is george i don't believe in you george do me a favor kid drop dead like that's that's what you were doing that's what you were doing i don't like that i don't like this song i'm so sorry i don't like it at all i'm just like that's what he sounded like that was the narrative i was trying to show you how mean that is but you brought you brought yeah yeah uh could i ask that we at least have another like do you have to go right now could we do this for a minute yeah i love it time is it it's 3 10 i mean i remember i was playing the piano and um my grandfather said do you know how to play next door and i didn't i didn't i thought i remember thinking i don't i don't know that song that language maybe and then there's another time when i figure out he goes do you know how to play somewhere else yeah oh my goodness traffic yeah do you know another time wow yeah playing traffic is one that he would say yeah that's a great one i loved my grandpa his grandpa was like a musical legend i didn't meet that grandpa but when i was thinking about that stuff but the other one the other guy yeah my my grandpa sid um he worked with a lot of people but uh from 1959 until after he uh or did all of ray charles's arrangements and and uh he was the he was the conductor and uh uh but that was not the grandpa who said go play somewhere else that was the grandpa who would listen to um video games and uh and uh and uh and uh and uh and uh and uh and he was the one that would play the video game music and show me how to play on the piano but they both loved me the way they knew how oh wow they're both musical no one of them was the one that would drink and then the one no he wouldn't drink but he would but when you you get when your grandma would give you a gift and your grandma would say uh go tell poppy thank you and you'd say thank you he'd go what i get you yeah that's pretty common that's a universal one yeah but the other one was an autistic music genius and the other guy was uh he was really popular at the country club so i got the best of both worlds you did and you play piano i play the piano yeah i was saying because i haven't been playing since we played oh really yeah i i don't i just i don't i need to have it in a place where it's accessible you know i remember when i got a water cooler and i put it in a place where i'm like i walked by it a lot and it started me drinking water all the time i drank water but now i drink i try to get close to a gallon a day nice it works thanks yeah it's a tough feat i used to do that you don't do anymore no tequila your skin looks good really takes one to know one well i drink a lot of water and i'm 29 wow you don't look a day over nine could you turn this into something disney yeah yeah maybe you'll be in my heart come stop the crying it'll be all right hold my head hold it tight my arms are rolling safe and well then i will be here don't you cry so soon as so so so so well will you guys stay for another hour keep me going it's sure and warm this bond between us so it can't be broken i will be here don't you cry because you'll be oh man will you do it will you be my heart i'll be there from this day on now and forever i can't hit all the chords because what do they know they need each other keep you safe and warm we'll see in time better do better do it again do it again better this song's so fucking hard actually what is that joint it's a phil collins uh tarzan for tarzan yeah it just changes keys every like everything oh man dude i'm laughing so hard thinking about like to do a cut of talking about like you know i didn't growing up like i wasn't hanging out too many people and then it'd be like be better be better the will the will smith mom got it just the fucking body dude it's crazy you killed that by the way what's the difference between being funny and being annoying i really think it's the receiver yeah isn't that crazy it's not up to me if i'm funny or not it's up to you yeah which sucks unless we're all on the same fucking frequency the issue isn't who you are it's the frequency you live on the issue is the frequency yeah and that's the nurture part yeah that's the fuck and that's not a blanketed statement because where you come from depends on who you are and who you are and who you are and who you are and who you are defines not only who you are but what your relationships are so when you leave that place she's still jenny from the block yes wow preach let me clear my throat could you just do the horns yes have mercy babe i hope you don't mind have mercy babe i hope you don't mind Some of y'all might get this. Some of y'all won't. Some of y'all drink wine. Some of y'all don't. Let me clear my throat. Some of y'all like smoke. Some of y'all like choke. Some of y'all like. Hey. Have mercy, baby. I hope you don't mind. Have mercy, mercy. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Lord have mercy. We're in the jungle where we broke so high. Chilling in the motherfucker, feeling so fly. We be in the jungle and I'm kissing some guy. Guy, guy, guy, guy, guy, hey. I'm in the jungle and I'm feeling so fly. I'm in the jungle with a new bow tie. I'm in the jungle and I'm. Fly as me. You can never be fly as me. Oh, funky like you didn't brush your teeth. Oh, who you thought you got up on with me? Fly, fly as me. You got to be fly as me. You ain't never seen fly the fly like me. Oh, fly, fly, fly, fly, oh. I wanna fly like an eagle. Let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle. Let my spirit take me free. Carry me. Will you marry me? Will you stay with me? Don't make me beg and plead. 'Cause I don't want to waste your time. Just a dude that's waiting in line. But I'm still a fly guy. I don't want to waste your time. No, I don't want you to tell me to leave. But you're saying you don't kiss on the first date. But you're feeling right above the knee. I don't want to be fly as you. And I try to do what I gots to do. But they telling me I should go back to school and learn something. Maybe get a degree. But you say, hey, we're moving up above the knee. And I, ooh, I'm starting to feel a little squeezed. Ooh, I know you want to visit tease me. I want to go above the trees. I want to go and smoke some tweez. Oh, no, you know how to please. Oh, you really know you know how to please. I feel like I've been playing this. Eventually, I just get to the same beat. I was looking up. I can't remember. What is the Space Jam basketball song? Oh, yeah, that's what the clip I've seen you do. Where you spit that flow from that. Oh, have I? Yeah, you're like, we're at the Jams. Yeah, I'm trying to remember what it was. What the hell was it? Yeah. Do you remember? No. Ah, it's, yeah, it's. I know it's LL Cool J and something. Mm-hmm. Shit. Anyway. Awesome. I need a girl with. Okay. Yeah, it was. Can we do a. Yeah. What is it? I need a girl with extensions in her hair. Bamboo earrings. Is that a round-the-way girl? At least two pair. A Fendi bag and a bad attitude. That's all it takes to get me in a good mood. In a good mood. She can walk with a switch. Talk a sashay. I love it when a girl ain't scared to do her thing. Standing at the bus stop. Smoking on a lollipop. Wait. Yeah. Once she gets going, it's hard to tell. It's hard to tell. Yeah. I know. I know. Yeah. Once she gets going, it's hard to make the hottie stop. She likes to do with the rap dance. She's sweet as brown sugar with the candy yams. Wait. I know this. What is this? Come closer. Use it that way. I got to understand. You're from the round-the-way girl. I need is a round-the-way girl. That's the one for me. A flat. I don't know. It feels right. She has a good personality. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Rainbow Connection. Can we guys play that? I don't really know that one. Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what man he on her side? What Beatles do you want to play? You brought them up a couple of times. No, maybe that's too big. Can we do something? No. Nothing. Dude, never. Oh, look how angry. Never. We can't let other people judge things we like. You're right. We're at where it affects our behavior. For the benefit of Mr. Kite, there will be a show tonight on trampolines. The Henderson's will all be there. Franco, Pablo, Fred Astaire. What a scene for the man who takes his something off the rack. She's in the heart of real fire. And tonight, Mr. K is finding the bill. Yeah, maybe I should have picked the fucking hardest. Yeah. Oh, okay. And then. What a scene. It's okay. There's no way I can do this. Something in the way. Oh, that's a good one. There we go. Yeah, I would love it. Should we do that? I love something slow. What's it called when you. Let's see a second. Oh, please do this. The long and. Oh, yeah, baby. Let's try. Both, I guess. Winding road. Oh, wow. That leads to your door. Oh, my God. It never disappears. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. Oh, my God. It left a pool of tears crying for the day. Don't leave me standing here. Let me know the way. Many a times I thought that I many times I've tried. Still, I know you never know how many times I've died. Hey, but still they lead me back to your long winding road. It always will be. I've seen it time before. Don't leave me waiting here. Let me know the way. Something in the way she moves. Tracks me like no other lover. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't leave me now. No, I believe in hell. Something in the way she shows. And all I have to do is think of her. Something in the smile that shows me, me. Don't leave me now. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You're asking me, will my love grow? I don't know. Do that again. You stick around and it may show. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to leave you now Don't want to leave you now Just snap out Don't want to leave you now You know I'll be leaving now I don't want to leave you now Don't want to leave you now Don't want to leave you now You know I'll be leaving now Don't want to leave you Don't want to leave you Don't want to leave you No, I can't leave you I don't want to leave you I don't want to leave you I don't want to leave you No, I can't leave you No, I can't leave you alone I know I should leave you alone Just can't leave you alone You know I'll be leaving now You know I'll be leaving now Leaving now Leaving now Now Now Now Now I don't even like eggs. This is the best omelette I've ever had. This is incredible. This is so fucking cool. Could we do a little bit more? Please. Is that okay? Yeah. Should I tell, I don't know if, I think somebody from your group messaged me, posted, can I make up this number? Can I make up a half hour? Yeah. How many hours? Are you sure? Maybe I'll say 25 minutes. Yeah. Set timer for 24 minutes. Have a wham. Yeah. Thank you. There is a young, that was just for a second. There is a young trailer who dies by the road. His father and his lover are his only companion. He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the kitchen. There is a young rebel. Yeah. Did you do that? I love that. Did you just ask people to play stuff? Do you know this song? Do you know James Taylor? This is Chips. You got to make me a playlist. He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyon. He's waiting for the summer. His pastures are chained. And as the moon rises, he looks at the moon. Bringing a ribbon and glasses of beer. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. What is that? It's mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. I don't know. You know, I hear it. I don't know. It's a good night, moonlight lady. Rock-a-bye, sweet baby Jays. Green, greens, and blues are the colors I choose. Won't you let me go down my lane? And rock-a-bye, sweet baby Jays. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Now the first of December was covered with snow. And so was the turnpike from Spurton to Boston. And doo-dee-da-doo-doo. And the straighter I've crossed in there's some life behind you. And sometimes I'm more to go. You know this one? You know I need your love. Oh. You gotta hold on me. As long as I got your love, you know that I'll never leave. When I wanted you to share my dreams, I had no doubt in my mind. It was you, woman, right down the line. You gotta hold on me as far as I can see. Something's coming over me. You really made me believe. Mmm. I don't know this part. It goes, new key. That's the jam, though. What, what, what, what, like, ballad, slow, you could sleep to, you could slow dance to, you get emotional to, what do you know? It must have been love. Ooh. But it's over now. It must have been good. But I lost it somehow. But it's over now. It could have been good. But I made it not found. Make a whisper On the pillow Or take my mic out, just keep going. On the ground Start over, but I'm not in it. I can't have that. No, you're helping me though. Girl, it seems like silence In the bedroom When you're around Touch me now Change Fantastic Be the sound We gotta find out who's doing it. I don't know this part at all. Touch me now Close my eyes No, but that's awesome. And now we're going back to the chorus. It must have been love But it's so Over now It must have been good But I lost it somehow It must have been love But it's over now From the moment we touched To the time it ran out Lay a whisper On a pillow Lay a whisper On the ground, lay a whisper on the ground. I'm standing there, all around. And there's silence. You stand before me. In the bedroom. All around. Kiss me now. Just you doing it. I close my eyes. You hear the sound. This one's for all the marbles. It must have been love But it's over now It must have been good But I lost it somehow It must have been love But it's over now From the moment we touched To the time it ran out Lay a whisper Can you take it all away When you shun it in the face When you take it all away When you take it all away How does the verse go? It's the rock thing, sorry. I don't know what this is. What is it? It's Philadelphia, born in. Oh, shit. Can you take it all away When you shun it in. Shun it in the face When you take it all away When you shun it in the face The context is. Yeah, take it and shove it. ACDC, I think. Which is what I say every time I make a sandwich before I use the toaster. Okay, valid, valid. What about in my. For my comedy special, you're in the audience with a drum kit. We only cut to it three times during my joke. I do a little corny thing and we hear that and everyone at home thinks it's in post. But on the third one, we reveal it's you in the middle of the thing doing it. I'm pitching it. I don't know if I want to do it. I don't know if you want to do it, but I want to do it at the moment. Also, you could be. And I could say, sorry, it's a plant and we don't even see who you are. You could be like a plant. We can have you as a plant. And the special is called Plant Drum. Mm. Do you like it? That's great. I just need the rest. So there's one song I want to get on here that is something that I watch on my podcast a lot. And it's a I Don't Want to Grow Up song. Would you do it? Yeah, with drums? I don't know what that would be like. So this is a song that I watch my podcast. Sometimes I rewatch clips of certain music things. This is one of the main. And when. Alan Stone sang that Stevie Wonder song. I forgot what it's called. Oh, yeah. But like. Place in the Sun? Place in the Sun, yeah. So good. But this, I love this song. I didn't know the song before him. And I don't know. know how you could do this what it would be like but this this will be the last favor i ask could we try this yeah so just go i don't know do you have any any any direction um i don't know i don't know let me let me tune my guitar real quick good when i'm lying in my bed at night i don't want to grow up no nothing ever seemed to turn out right i don't want to grow tell me tell me how do you move in the world of fall it's always changing things made me wish i could be your dog yeah when i see the prices you pay i don't want to grow up i don't ever want to be that way no i don't want to grow up to see like folks turning to things they never ever want the only thing to live for is today so i'm gonna burn the hole in my tv set i don't want to grow up come on open up your medicine chest i don't want to grow up no i don't want to have to shout it out i don't want my head full out i don't want to be filled with doubt i don't want to be a good boy scout i don't want to have to learn to count i don't want to have the biggest amount no i don't want to grow no no no no no no no no no no no no yeah when i hear my parents fighting i don't want to grow up they all go out drinking they all go out drinking all night and i don't want to grow up i'd rather stay here in my room nothing out there but satin glow i don't want to live in a big old tomb on grand street when i watch the five o'clock news i don't want to grow up they comb their hair they shine their shoes i don't want to grow up i'll stay around in my old home hometown i don't want to put no money down i don't want to get me a big old loan work my fingers to the bone i don't want to have to float a broom fall in love get married then boom how the hell did i get here so soon i don't i'm getting so much protein another amazing song who's that that's that's tom waits isn't that fucking great dude that was so fucking that was fun that was so cool thank you thank you so much for doing this man for real thank you so much thank you man i needed this holy shit this is fucking awesome man beyond um i met uh one of my now best friends sal vulcano do you know who that is he's one of the impractical jokers guys okay there's been one time i've been in a relationship i've had on my podcast that i could remember where somebody came over for the first time and i was just i'm just like i'm in love with him i'm like he's the kindest funny like i had such a good time and i'm feeling that again now i dude for real i this is i'm this is so great man and i'm so glad that you came into this i mean whenever you come here i feel something like this same man but like dude and i'm sorry if i'm sorry to if i'm talking too much and doing too much and asking too fucking dream situation to be able to do something like this dude thank you thank you i'm so sorry that i can't let you out this way i'll get the step stool again i'll go out the same way i came in it's all good um so k-pop um k-pop is there anything you're doing a tour now too right yeah i don't know how many people are watching this that like i don't know how much of a help this is for that but we're sold out so don't even bother but yeah we are going we're going you and bruno yeah so cool it's gonna be amazing my parents are obsessed with bruno mars and they they they play uptown funk almost every day and that's their they dance around that's their exercise and the dancer on the house to uptown fun they're still together yeah ah they're the cutest they are the cutest and um i went to the casino with my dad the other day and it was easy we left we got together we do i tried that with my mom but it didn't work out do you still gamble well can i make a bet with you sure i'll pay you a hundred dollars i could do a backflip wow we didn't shake on it oh yeah well we could have ended the podcast with that fucking awesome thing and it said it was me apologizing and then doing something that i already apologized about so you can't see them on tour in 2026 unless you go to a second party thing where they're going to charge you something that's too expensive or you can hit me up and we'll see i might charge you really expensive we'll see oh that's right you love me you love just like if people hit you up for a gig or something you'll take cash or some nipples from a tall woman bending over all right i'm gonna let you out i gotta take a polaroid so i'll have to do it here thank you so much man um george it's great thank you thank you outstanding super fun i've never done like that kind of i know right saying like that and like just flow songs like scoot do blubbery blue scooby oh yeah