An old school Christmas and Hanukkah episode with Joey and Lee

what up beautiful people uncle joey here with my favorite motherfucking kato lee syatt for another fun-filled episode of the church of what's happening now new edition it's december 23rd it's the jingle bell edition jimmy crack corn and i don't care anyway we're back jack what's up you've been what why do you how do you do that you're the only person i know with songs they just get stuck you've been singing that like like like an autistic kid for like 20 minutes that's all you need is just that's all you've been saying message after that jimmy crack corn you don't care that's all you need to know my favorite one is the asian one oh please i got like 20 songs i just sing to myself i have a good time people i have a good time i have problems but who gives a fuck you look like we were talking about you torture and there was one i'm thinking back there was one in la that you would do like i want to do you want to be a gypsy or something that you would just break just like i would love to spend 10 minutes in your head and just see what you just sing songs that no one's ever heard of like do you want to be a gypsy what is that it's black sabbath song is it yeah the gypsy okay i have sabbath song i have no idea you want to be a gypsy come on now oh my god i love it it's a great thing what's going on man how was your weekend what's happening everything's good that's it it's christmas week it's wedding week you got a big fucking week i've i gotta make sure i fit into the tux you got four more days you can run you can make it to toronto who's gonna and you can hang out with mendoza and you can hang out with parents i'll hold you up there oh if i just listen if you're out there and you're thinking about getting married fucking a lope just just do it just a lope just you her and a judge yourself i told you i specifically told you did not tell me to elope you told me don't get married i told you don't get married right now give it till some time because everybody would go into shock and they did and now now you have you know so we'll deal with it at the end of this week see what's really going on and i'll see you next week oh my god he's wet he got a green tuxedo it looks like a jewish kermit the frog and shit i look like i look surrounded by indians on fucking believable it's gonna be great i look i look good as hell no you don't oh yes i do no you don't you can't wait to see it knock what i can't wait to see what you show up in dog i'm you never know you're gonna wear an indian outfit oh do we i'm coming in there with a fucking gas mask on you know those gas that people like in lioness when they throw wait till they see me with that gas mask on with a little bong hanging out between covid and the sandals and the dry skin no one wears sandals you wear more sandals than i do i've always seen you wear sandals anybody see me wear sandals yeah around the house you're kind of fucking being stupid again nobody wears fucking sandals i wouldn't put a pair of fucking sandals on if you paid me not the ones with the strap not the other ones i don't even fucking put on flip-flops no never no that's disgusting we live in a real world dog i'm well look at me with flip-flops i'm added to a bar like i'm headed to the beach what the fuck what are you a retard what are you a fucking idiot but you're your whole thing is like you can't want and what if i stomp on your feet first how often do you get your feet stomped on listen listen don't worry about the stomping on the feet don't worry about nothing we just don't wear sandals where we come from okay that's it that's what does that even mean that that's what that means no one from new jersey wears sandals my fucking people the people i hang out with those faggy sandals not one of them that i grew up with or hang out with wear those faggy sandals with the straps or birkin stockings that's not allowed that's not in your code you know you fucking young generation you don't think about shit i don't want to sound like an old guy but there's got to be a code to your life things that you'll do and things that you won't do and you just have to pick things and test yourself when i was a kid everybody went to quintessence i was the hot bar pussy quaaludes i made a fucking point that i was not gonna go to richfield park and make believe i was in new york city that's what they were doing they were going to richfield park everybody's richfield park nice no it's a fucking armpit across some fucking you know it's it's it doesn't really matter where it is george it's just what matters is that they were trying to do this fucking disco this new york city studio in richfield park and i refuse to go and you have to like when you say to me with joy what was the point of it just a discipline i ain't going in there i'm not going in there i get having regardless of what happens you forget i was the dude that they called from the thai restaurant to have a meeting from cbs and i turned the meeting down because i was not walking to eat in the thai restaurant i got nothing against thai people i just don't want to smell that fucking food i'm a very unique kind of fucking character yeah unique is one word because when i say something i stick to it and that's it when have you ever said anything about thai food i didn't i just i'm just throwing that up so you understand how deep my fucking jimmy runs there's no you can't there's no well she wanted to do it in my world there's no nothing so what happens if scorsese calls and says i want to eat thai with you listen let's be fucking realistic that i don't eat thai i'll say around the phone i don't eat thai and i can't smell that smell that's it that's it we don't deviate every time you deviate you're taking a beating in life you're losing in life somewhere else you have to stick to something i agree with you have to stick to something in your life you have to have some fucking respect like i'm not gonna eat that because my grandmother didn't fucking feed me that like something you have to have something you have to stand for something as a man we're not women and children we're fucking men so you know you do something we do it we don't take the one o'clock flight because it was cheaper when your wife is a gazillion and owns a building that that's not even fucking in my thought process to wait for six hours because that's how our business is done our business is not fucking you know we'll leave it to because that's our business we're comedians we have a business and we stick to that code every fucking moment of the day i don't deviate i'm getting hit up by cameo they think i don't want to do cameo i'm not gonna deviate he'll ask me at once oh you want to do a card show i'm not i'd rather not sit there and say oh really you like the longest yard me too i'm not doing it but there's things as a man that you have to stick to see i get like i don't eat ranch so if you order ranch at this table you have to move you have to go to another table and that's it and later on in life when you get older you'll see i had a bro in the middle of all my junkiness when i was a dead cold junkie i had a rule i did not snort coke on new years since 1980 i'd snort coke 364 times days of the year just not on new years there was just something not snorting coke on new years and i stuck to it so here's my question though because i get like the professional stuff but like that like you like there's strange things that just are like life things you're like no sandals no coke on like you how do you pick these things discipline this is a discipline you're i don't want to look like that guy i don't ever want to feel or look like that guy i don't want his look on my fucking face okay you can tell he's broken he's just like his wife's fucking fingers are bigger than my hand she weighs 400 pounds she's got a starbucks this big with whipped cream and he but he never he never had the chance to say i'm not doing that i'm not doing that i'm not doing that we feel as americans we got to do everything i'm not doing that i'm not and people get mad at you for three days but then they'll respect you later i'm not doing that why not because i don't want to fucking walk up two flights of steps really you yeah i'm against fucking steps and i'm just saying there's rules as a man that you have to stick to this is what we do there's no like well i'll go this time oh i'll go to the arab pizzeria no no no no have you had to break any rules with like because of mercy or anything or do you like you you just don't break your rules no no because i know every time i break the rules i'm gonna fucking pay for it maybe not here but three steps down the line so for me that rule will never be broken and there's things i do like that people don't even know and they don't even have a they wouldn't understand like i'm old school i'm an old school marlon brando guy tom hanks got an oscar for having age in that movie and he went up there and started crying i didn't fucking fuck with tom hanks for 10 years after that because of the age of the crying because of the crying at the academy awards i just i'm just not tolerating that because he wasn't crying for him he was crying for people at aids or whatever the fuck he was doing on that whatever the fuck you know i'm saying like to all the guys that have died with spots on their eyes i don't give a fuck you know so i didn't this is just personal shit i get it but have you lost like friendships or girlfriends because of this stuff because like Some of your rules are unique. Very unique. But at least I'm not mind-fucking myself. What does that mean? George has a business. Okay. He'll think for three hours what pizza he's going to get today. That's a long time. What new fucking haunt he's going to go to. Just because he thinks he's in the area. He's got to stop at the popular pizza place and talk about Italy and all this shit. That's three hours of his day. That's in his mind. That lives in his mind. I only go to one pizza place. So you don't have to make that decision? I don't have to make that decision. I don't get mind-fucked. But what do you do with the rest of your day? I'm living in the moment. I'm not worried about fucking, well, let me catch Clemenza's. They have good pizza. Well, Dave Portnoy went there. I'm not going in there. I'm not going in there on principle now that Dave Portnoy went in there. What's your issue with that? Just because he's a skinny fucker. He's a fucking Jew. What's he know about fucking pizza? He knows about business and a lot of other things, but he don't know about pizza. But we just bought into it because he's a white dude on a website. We got to stop this shit. This behavior is fucking god-awful. Has it gotten worse? Oh, yeah. Look on Instagram. Just go on Instagram. Every third thing is Dua Lipa. I don't even know who Dua Lipa is. She's beautiful, but does she even sing or she just does this with her hands? And jumping jacks with fucking a bikini on. Everybody's got a fucking bikini on. Nobody forgot about singing and just singing. Get a flute or ukulele. No, they go up there with a bikini and right away they fuck. She's six foot one. She got pussy for days. She's six foot one? I don't know, but look at her. With the boots and the whole fucking thing. I mean, you know. That's fucking. Well, do you think the internet's made it worse? Like, is that what people? Oh, fuck yeah. We're creating more fucking billy goats than ever. Is that what you. I don't have to. Yeah, I don't have to go out to get recruited now. You could get radicalized in your living room. And when I mean radicalized, I'm not even talking about terrorist shit. I'm just talking about. Oh, my God. That's I love Birkenstock. You know, you don't. You never had him on. You just see him and your girlfriend has him with the red. You know, that's it. We just created. It's like Nick said. People don't go out to get fucked up. No, they go out. They get a bottle and they sit there and do VIP pictures for Instagram. And they flag gang signs. They never even broke a bottle. And they're all these little black kids. Never done nothing. They grew up in a fucking white neighborhood and their fricking gland gang signs and shit. Who's in a gang? Who's in a fucking gang? None of years. Yeah. It's like social media is pretty like it's it's created fucking retards and the youth buy into it. They buy into it. My daughter. My daughter's fucking an idiot. She's 12. You know, she's 12. We were all idiots at 12. Yeah. Well, different kind. You were not me at 12. I was doing things. You were a genius at 12. I was making things happen at 12. Weren't you robbing bikes off of trains? Everything. I was robbing shoveling snow, fucking doing dirty jobs in North Bergen where they had no fucking permit to do it. Fucking we did everything. Holy shit. So, but do you see like the internet and stuff messing with Mercy? Yeah. Like she started wearing those. Glasses like Tom Segura. And I had to tell her like three, four times, don't wear those glasses no more, please. You look like a fucking idiot. What glass? Does she need glasses? No, they buy those fake glasses to look intelligent like that. Like they fucking read books for a living and I got to sit there. Oh my God. He looks so smart or goofy in LA. They get the goofy glasses. So they look even goofy. Right. That's what they want to do. When you see him at interviews, they wear the glasses. They're huge. With the frames. And shit. And you know. What about the ones with cameras in it? Those glasses? What do I know? What do I want a camera in my fucking thing for? You don't want to like, if you can record. What am I, a secret agent? I'm not fucking, I'm not James Bond. I'm going to walk around with a little apple and I'll tell you, it's a great idea. It really is. I saw, I saw Brian Redbans. Oh yeah. He has all that shit. Redban has like, I don't know how old he is, but he's like 15 year old me. Like he has everything that I would. I would want at like 15. He has every cool toy. He has like four different cars that are just, each one's cooler than the, it's like Redban's living a fucking awesome. It seems like he has all that tech stuff and I love all of it. It's amazing. I would love to see you try. Have you ever tried like VR or any of those goggles? Oh, all the time. You got to see me at night. That's why I smoke pot. Cause I have memories of my mind. And you just turn on that and that's our dual reality for you? I need to put VR and fucking make believe. No, no, I got met. That's a good thing that this youth is not going to have a memories because everything's in their phone. They're telling you they're making memories. Let's make memories. Who says make memories anyway? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that. We've become a fucking disgusting, faggy fucking system. Let's make memories. They always say that tonight was like a movie. The best memories I've had was when I had $3 in my pocket and three idiots got together and we walked from 80th street and got a bottle of vodka with gay. And you drank and then you fucking got picked up over here and you ended up in the city snorting Coke till four in the morning. That's the best nights I had. So you can't plan a memory, right? Yeah. Not plan a fucking memory. The concerts I was excited for. I have no memory of the concerts that I went on a whim. I, they were the best concerts of my life. Yeah. You know, so all that shit, like we're so stuck. The youth today and a lot of people were so stuck on our phones. Like anything can happen. We take the phone out to tape. It's stopping. You're not going to watch it later. No. If you come up to me with that phone and show me like, this is a little kid crossing the street. Put that away. I don't think I ever look at pictures after I take them. No. It like, like I was going through the fucking concert with the thing. Oh yeah. I'm not. And then, and then on the way home, the car breaks down. You can't call nobody because you got no fucking power. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's just Jesus. It's too much. It's a lot on your system. I think. I think that the internet is a lot on your system. Fuck yeah. And I feel a lot. Listen, today is the 18th. Yesterday, it was two months that I got let out of the hospital. It's already been two months? The last time. Jesus Christ. Okay. October 17th. I was in the hospital from like the 11th, whatever the fuck. I was in the hospital from like the 13th to the 18th. So today's the 18th. It's two months. And I got to tell you something, guys. I have changed my life. I've moved so many pieces around. And one of the pieces I moved was no computer in the morning after I come back. You think that was affecting your health? I wanted to change things around. Okay. You can't end up in the hospital four times in one year and you keep doing the same shit. That makes sense. You know, if you notice, I told George to stop making hot dogs. You know, I was 300 and something fucking pounds eating four hot dogs on Monday and then we go eat again. They were good hot dogs, too. Yo, they're great hot dogs. I miss them. Me, too. We'll give them a break to the fall, the spring, you know. Yeah. You know, I get up early now. I'm fucking napping a lot. I've stuck to this fucking workout for the T. And like these boxing workouts I do, I look at the whoop afterward and it's amazing. You've been talking about boxing the whole time I've known you. You like boxing. I like the workout of boxing. That heavy bag is fucking tremendous for you. When you're an old man and you drill boxing, it's great because you have to remember numbers. Oh, okay. So you start with a 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 5. You know, you always have, as I'm getting older, that's good for my cognitive health. That makes sense. I'm remembering those things, you know. I'm remembering numbers and combinations. And that's what a lot of people don't do. They start talking about dementia. Well, you didn't do nothing. Right. You fucking sit at home at night and you think your mind works because you get three things right on Jeopardy. And that ain't it. No. That ain't it. So everybody can brag about dementia. Well, you got to work on it. If you don't want dementia, you got to work on your fucking memory. That means you got to write every morning. You got to fucking, you know. This is it. I've taken supplements to the T. For the last two months. All my medication. Like, I don't miss one. Like, I get lazy. I'm like, I'm not taking my medication at night. I don't want to open up another water. I'm one of those idiots. Right. No. I stuck to all that shit. I eliminated, like, eight people out of my life. Wow. What, were they just bringing you down? They were just, it wasn't going nowhere. Wasn't going, let's get together. You're never going to call me. I got no babysitter. What are we doing? What are we doing? Every two days. You call me. Let's get together for dinner. That ain't going to happen. My house starts percolating at six o'clock. I ain't got time to go to dinner with my wife and my daughter. She got practice. She got this. She got that. I got time for it. So, what are we doing? Oh, I can't wait to see you. Oh, you're not doing nothing. And, like, how do you feel differently than you did before you went in the hospital? I feel fucking the best I felt in 2025. Nice. I don't have anything weighing me down no more. No thoughts. No intrusive fucking thoughts. still recovering. Listen, man. The reason why I'm sleeping a lot is because I'm healing. I was still recovering from just a change of scenery. I'm just learning this now, that that was a whole fucking different world I was in when I got off the plane. Just a change of scenery. Having the Comedy Store 15 minutes from your house for 23 fucking years and going there whenever the fuck you want, that got pulled from me. I had a couple things pulled from me. 23 years of living in L.A. and then moving somewhere is very hard. It was hard because when I was up there a couple weeks ago, I was like, oh shit, could we left quick? I think he told me in March and then in August we were gone. It was only a few months. But also for you, the scenery I'm sure hurt or made a difference. My heart was broken. But even just to go from, you were nonstop between the podcast and comedy and acting. Two fucking worlds. It was like someone pulled an emergency brake on your life Two worlds. Yeah. My friends, my relationships, you had people that you knew that we went to eat there. Like all that shit went out the fucking window. So I had to make adjustments. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea. First, I couldn't do comedy. So it was like the last five years have been fucking like a mental health fucking test. And there was a lot of times, that's why I stopped eating the mushrooms last year. Because I'm like, shit's not right. I'm hearing voices and stuff. Well, when you don't, when you don't measure it and you eat it by handfuls, that's also a different story. Most people don't eat it by handfuls. You know, I took the, I have an addictive personality, as we all know. I can say. We all have an addictive personality. Yeah, fuck yeah. And dog, I'll take this party from one thing to the next. You know, and that's what I've been doing all my life. Take it from one thing to the next. You know, fucking Valium. And then we switched up to Quaaludes. And then you fucking, I don't do Quaaludes no more. Yeah, because they don't make it. You know, everybody's like, well, I don't do Quaaludes. Oh yeah, because you're eating acid. You're eating fucking Percocets. You're eating this. So I went from like one drug to the, you know, it's like lately I haven't really smoked a lot of reefer. No, good. What about, do you think you ever got addicted to work? Like you, like that's how you. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I can see that. You know, now I know why. Because life is fucking boring. Life is fucking boring, man. This is, you know, it's like, it's very, it's very different. We're like a normal everyday life to like touring, doing like just comedy. Even when you're not touring. I don't know if it gets monotonous to after you do it for 30 years, but you know, it gets more normal for you. But most people like everyone, I work at nine to five still like people. Usually they get into the office between eight and nine. They're home by six and then they're done. And they're, it's just, and like that's when our night's just barely starting at six o'clock. Listen, let me take a breather here real quick. Okay. Let's talk about bioma and some fucking blue. Bioma. Bioma and some blue chew. Cause new year's is coming. You want to set bitches straight. Let's take a breather. We'll be right back after blue chew and bioma. Yo, uncle Joey here to talk to you about bioma. Listen, lots of people struggle with their weight and energy. Your gut health has a lot to do with that. Take better care. Yourself in 2026 with bioma. Bioma is a gut supplement that has prebiotics, probiotics and postbiotics. So you can get everything acting like it should. If you know what I'm talking about, what you do is you take two capsules before breakfast and you're good to go for the day. I've been on biome of a little science project for eight weeks. My color's better. My poop smells healthier and I'm feeling so much better. Even my gut has flattened a little bit. I've dropped 13 pounds. So I don't know if it's bioma or jumping up and down. Bioma also calms your brain fog and anxiety and mood swings. So when your gut is better, your life is better. Feel like hell? Bioma's got your back. To get started, just click the link in our show notes and pressing code Joey, J-O-E-Y, to get 15% off your gut's comeback. Who's better than Uncle Joey and who's better than bioma? Nobody. That's 15% off. Your first order when you use code Joey, J-O-E-Y. Just pressing the link in our show notes. Happy holidays. Hey, Uncle Joey here for Blue Chew. Listen, guys, it's time to level up your dick and ball game. You follow me? The holidays are coming. 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Now, with Blue Chew Gold, if you think you slung dick before, forget about now. You know how people say they got skeletons? That's what you're going to have in your closet. A bunch of skeletons like that dude in Milwaukee. Anyway, visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. I want to thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast and for always having my back. And don't forget, if you want to sling dick with three hands, Blue Chew is the Captain Kirk of the Enterprise. Happy holidays. Kick this motherfucking mule, Lee. We're back. And don't forget the. Probiotic. Bioma. Bioma for the January 1st. Jump on it. Right now. Start that because I started it. Yeah, I've been on it. It's been great. My God, it's tremendous. I feel good, yeah. Nothing sticks around. No. And when something bad goes in there, like lizard meat by mistake, it comes right out, dog. And it smells horrible. The bioma surrounds it and just takes it out of your fucking muffler. But anyway. That's an image. 30 years ago, I had a dear friend that was involved in rehabs and whatnot. And I was like, "What's up, man?" And he was like, "What's up, man?" fucking do a background check, they gotta check my pupils, Fools, you know, a blood test. No. How many times I walk out on construction saying, go, dog, you need help today? Yeah, come on. We need help for six weeks. Okay, we got a job for six weeks. Can't do that no more. No. That's crazy that you could do that. Yeah, I could just walk into a place, shop right. Now you got to go union, you got to do that. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But think about you're 25. You're going to be, in 25 years, you're going to be 50. And then 15 more years after that, you're going to be 65. I really want you to think about what you really want to do, number one. And I want you to think it all the way through. Don't look at the Department of Statistics to see what's going to be the highest paying job in five years. Right. You know, what you want to do. And then remember that this is the reality of it, okay? The reality of it is whatever you decide to do, you're going to have to do from nine to fucking six for a few years. Then you get more responsibility. And you're going to be there from nine to nine. You're going to have a kid. You're going to be married. And guess what? What? This is it. I know. That was your time on this fucking planet. And then you work all your life. They give you a watch. And a year later, you're shoveling snow and you're dying in your driveway at 66. What the fuck was the glamour of that? You were always waiting to fucking pay bills. You were always worried about. You were always worried about paying a light bill and a water bill and being a standing fucking civilian. And what the fuck just happened? You're at the funeral going, what the fuck? I'm in my own casket. And I'm like, what the fuck was this? I worked all my fucking life to get a watch. Right. And you don't even like watches. $2,600 a month from fucking a pension. And I'm still going to be fucking short. What the fuck? So I decided right there. This is drugs, no drugs, whatever. That if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do what the fuck I want to do and not worry about any of that shit. And if it happens, it happens. Remember, there's no debtor's prison. They will not throw you in jail for all the money. They won't? No. You just won't talk to people. People won't give you cards and shit. You can't go into a hotel room because you got no credit card. But there's no debtor's prison. Right. Okay. So you're going to live your whole life chasing that mortgage, chasing. Can you imagine? Okay. That's like, what? Welcome to your new home, Lee Syatt. Okay. So we got you a fixed rate of 3.8 and it's. Oh, fuck somebody for 3.8 right now. Shut up. And it's a 40 year mortgage. That is the scariest fucking sentence that you'll ever tell a guy like me. Why? 40 years. It's a long time. Every night you go to bed. Huh? I got 38 more. And nothing's going to change. The mortgage is 2,800. That's what. You can afford your wife's got a set budget. That's it. I got 40 years to I become an owner. All these little things are fucking positive. But at the same time, they should make you think about it. Like I'm not going to own shit till I'm fucking 50 or 60. Unless my mother or grandmother or father or somebody co-signs a loan for me today. Today. What are you going to get? Oh, and dude, no 20 year olds are buying houses now. They're lucky to buy a house by the time they're 40. So these are the things you got to think about before you make any fucking decision. Well, I want to live a conventional life and go to meetings every Tuesday with a shirt on. Hi, guys. We brought donuts and bagels. Okay. Today we're going to talk about sales tactics, you know? Well, here's the thing, though. And I know you're not talking about them directly, but like, I would say that's probably 95% of the people listening have like a day. Like, do you think everyone should work for themselves? Or like, what do you what do you think they should do? Like, what do you think they should do? Everybody talks about two words. Everybody. You could talk to anybody. No Satan. And nobody really wants to do it. That's be happy. I know. What makes you happy? You know what makes me happy? Snorting coke and holding my knees like that. And some chick sticking a tongue up my ass. That's what makes me happy. That's it. What else? Dude, I can't tell you. How I love playing with my children. I love throwing them in the air. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're talking about getting your ass eat here with a coke rock. And you're talking about playing with your kids. What are we talking about? So everybody has different needs and wants. I guess so. But I want you to know what you're signing up for. Where does the coke rock go? In your asshole. Oh, OK. It melts in there. You put like a little cup in there. And then she comes and fucking goes out with her whole mouth in there. Well, I'm sorry. That's not my point, Lee. My point is that fucking these are the things. I was a fucking. Listen, I'm still a loser. I just laugh at people now because they haven't. Figured it out. When you're a loser and you know it, but they haven't figured it out. You're like these poor fucking bastards. They have no idea. OK. Oh, this was all luck and fucking hard work. But it was luck. Yeah. I'm going to tell you that God put an extra chromosome in my brain to make me think. No, no. There's 200 people funnier than I am. I just did it a little differently. And I'm very proud of that. I learned. I learned from the best. I had Ralphie. I had Rogan. I had a lot of great fucking people around me. But think about beside comedy. Like, what else did I want to do? Sell things, I guess. Sell. You were going to sell cars. I didn't want to be married. I know I didn't want to be married. I know that once you get married and you get that green light to go, it's like fucking. You go nuts. You go nuts. Like. I want to get divorced. Yeah. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised I married Terry. It took you a while. Oh, nine years. But I'm surprised. I'm fucking till this day. I'm like, I don't know. I did because I was so turned off by that. Like, that was not going to be. Listen, I'll be married, but don't ask me no questions. Like, you just can't ask me questions, man. It drives me fucking crazy. I'll be home by five. You'll get the rent. But just please don't ask me a question. Oh, my God. I would love to. Like, I wish I had the balls to tell people stuff like that. You have to. Because if not, your life is going to fucking be a nightmare. And I'd rather piss two people off than walk around wounded because whatever the fuck. Yeah. And that was the decision in getting into standout. It wasn't because broads or money. It was because I was going to be in a car by myself. Yeah, that's great. Isn't that great? Smoking pot. You're going from city to fucking city. Why would I want somebody in a car? I don't feel good. I'm cold. I don't really want to drive to Iowa tonight. I don't really give a fuck. You could get out of a fucking car. I'm one of those people. I don't have time. I have a mission. We have a mission we're on. And on that mission, you know, when you get there, you got to be serious. Like, it's a fucking serious mission. You know, I was in L.A. five or six years before I realized what I was. Involved in. Like, I didn't know. I always knew about the comedy store and I knew about. But I didn't know. And then one day I was like, wait a second. This is not the minor leagues. No. If you got problems, go back to the minor leagues and learn how to pitch. Recuperate the ankle. If you got problems, don't come here. If you go there, it's because you're setting that motherfucker on fire. And you're doing it for four fucking years straight. And if nothing happens in four years, then you quit and you go back home. And stop putting yourself through this drama. But give it everything you got. Tell everybody to shut their fucking mouth. Shut up. Because you don't know. Shut up. Shut up. This is my fucking life. And that, I don't think people really think about that anymore. Like, that depth of what do you really want to do? We have a country that is the worst because I expect an 18-year-old to make his mind up for his life. His career decision. For life. I know. That is the biggest sack of shit ever. This is why I like St. John Vianney. What's that? By the time she graduates high school, she's got an associate degree. No way. Go work, bitch. Go work for a year. So she only needs to do two years of school? What do you want me to do? I'll tell you what you're going to do. You get free rent. I'll pay for the car. But guess what? You have to get a full-time job. I don't know what to do. Go sell fucking cars. Go get an education. Get an education in the real fucking world. And then come back. And you'll tell me what you want to do. But for me to tell you, hey, you should become a psychologist. And all of a sudden, you're in your college. Now you met the girl of your life. But you didn't look at her mother because her mother weighs 500 pounds. So now you marry her. You knock her up. She's 500 pounds. You can't go home and fuck her. You pick psychiatry. You hate your clients. You hate what you do. You own 30,000 fucking student loans. At least. You might as well shoot yourself. You're not getting out of that. Unless you hit the pick five or what. Isn't it a billion three this week? 1.3 billion. That's what you're going for. Right. You're not getting yourself out. Delivering packages at UPS. Making cheeseburgers. You know, you're not going to get yourself out of that fucking dilemma. You know what the crazy thing is? Is delivering packages for UPS. They probably make more than the psychologist. Oh, now they are. Now they are. They make a lot of fucking. And like that's. I got to be honest. I grew up in a place where those kind of jobs were looked down on. Because what. But North Bergen, Cliffside, Hutchins County, blue collar. There's nobody here driving a Lamborghini or fucking, you know, everybody fucking gets up in the morning and works. Whether it's that car wash behind McGuire Chevrolet, that's been there for fucking ever. Bubble car wash has been there, and he would never hire none of us. So we started breaking the signs and shit. That guy was pretty smart. He's a fucking dickhead. I don't know what his name is. He was a young guy when we were kids. No, no, no. What the fuck happened? Fuck. It's crazy. But think about it. Like, these are the things that I was a fucking retard. I was out of prison. Already I was thinking of these things. Go on, look at this guy. He fucking, it's brutal. George and I were talking on the way here. Okay, so I'm going to own a business. Listen, these geniuses opening up restaurants now, you might as well take your money and light it on fire. We drove past 22 restaurants on Bergen Line Avenue, okay? 22. Three, four people in there, but they're not rocking. So what's the use? Peruvian, this, that. You could get a thousand milkshakes on Bergen Line Avenue. Oh, yeah. I don't even think there's enough milk for Hudson County. All the fucking milkshakes on Bergen Line. Forget if you go to Cliffside. All the Arabs are making milkshakes and fucking banana boats, and they switch. The Palestinians make the best hot chocolate. In fucking, dig that. Don't tell me that. I'm going to have to go in there with a trench coat and a hat on. Dog, I heard the fucking, he was telling me and George, they give you a big whip with whipped cream and shit. Oh, nice. Okay. They put marshmallows and Hershey bars in it. Forget about it. They're trying to get me. They're trying to lure me in. But that was my decisioning in this fucking glorious life. My decision was not to fucking be successful. My mission was just to do what the fuck you want to do. Keep your fucking nut low. Instead of being Johnny Bananas, just buy any hell of a lot of card. They're not paying your bills, so they don't need, who gives a fuck? As long as the card takes you from point A to point B, it's got a green bumper, Joey. Listen, all right, get the bus. No, no, no, no, I'll take the car. All right, then. Right. You know, you keep your fucking, a one-bedroom fucking apartment or a studio, you know, and you get bitches that have a big apartment like you did, you know. That's it. That's it. I had no idea what I was doing. But whenever I tell people, like, everyone's been pretty supportive about me doing comedy, but everyone, like, whenever I'm talking about eventually when I get to just do it full-time, how great it'll be, and everyone's like, well, you have this job, this and that, and I'm like, well, it's not, I have so much more fun doing comedy. Like, what I love is, and people are like, oh, no one likes their job. I'm always like, wait, like, I have nothing against people who work jobs, because there's people at my job who, like, love what they do. Like, if you genuinely, like, George, you've been a framer for, I don't know how many decades, three decades, like, hopefully you love, if you love what you do, I don't know why people just accept that they're not going to. That, to me, is the problem, because you can love a job, but if you, like, are just accepting that you're going to hate every job that you have, like, waking up and being like, fuck, I got to be there in an hour. It's called work because it's not called play. You might not like it, but it's not called play. You might not always have fun. Okay, it's called work. Right. It's called work. And then those are the same people that go, I can never get a raise, because it's a job for you. It's not something you love. I wish I had that blessing. Like, I trained with this guy for four years, no more. But it was a 40-minute block. That's what you paid for. It was 40 minutes of workout. I don't know how many times I was there. It was an hour and a half. And he's fucking pushing down my shin with a fucking stick, and I'm yelling, holding on to a ball. You know, I admire that. That's a certain love for a job. There's no money on it. You want to pay me what? 30 grand? I'll do it for $2. Yeah, this is fun. Like, that's, when you go into your job and go, I wish, if they didn't give me any money, I'd love this. Because you're swamped. You're busy. You have people you're talking to all day. I love that shit. Oh, being busy is way better than having way too much time on your hands. And that's what I said, you know. Yeah. When you do stand-up comedy, man, it's, or any art, whether you're a painter, you're an artist, like you fucking draw pictures and shit, it's a different world and it's a different discipline. You know, great comics, not me, but great comics, fucking Mitch Hedberg would get up at 8 and write till 10 facing the sun and then take an hour break and then write till 4. Fuck. You know, but that's a certain, everybody has their own thing. Have you heard what Eminem does? I saw like a clip or something about it. He's like in the studio like 9 to 5. Just every day. It's your fucking job. Yeah. Whether it's stand-up, you know, I love these guys that they think that stand-up is going to a bar at night and picking up chicks and you see them. Yeah. They all drop off. They just drop off like flies because it's like anything else. If you want to be good at it, it's a fucking commitment. So it's a commitment. People just think this when you're doing comedy, zero to three years, there's a bunch of people in that room that you're not going to see after four or five years because it becomes something else. Now they have to look at this differently. It's called either shit or get off the fucking pot. People, people get stuck. I think. Don't you? Like they just like they're waiting for something or like you were saying, like they have a mortgage or whatever, so they can't leave the job right now. Listen, I read that book twice a year, so I don't get stuck and I still get stuck. So I can't imagine the regular American with shit getting thrown at him all day. This, that, this, that politics, your fucking insurance bill. You know, I can't imagine. And that's resistance. We have natural resistance. Yeah. I'm not good at jiu jitsu. I'll never be good at jiu jitsu. I'm too old. I'm too fat, you know, whatever, but I enjoy it, but I'll never be good at it. But I already know that going in there's people. I know that for me to get to the level I need to be, I have to be there seven days a week and my body couldn't recover from that. I'm too old for that. I'm not shooting testosterone or any of that shit. When I did comedy like you, my first 25 years, I didn't even ask him what I was getting paid. I still don't. I'm doing comedy. I know it's not going to pay my bills. Whatever you're going to pay me, whatever you're going to pay me is not going to change my life. So yeah, I wouldn't even ask him what you're paying me. It's either going to be a hundred, $150, $75 with a cocktail drink or dinner. There was no reason to ask because I loved it. You know, after I got 15 years, you have to start managing, you know, everybody will ask you, Hey, come do this for a hundred bucks, bitch. I get two grand now. I'll do it one time, but that's it. Nice. Yeah. And it's, it's not even that I don't care about the money. It's like, it just does. I get so happy when someone asks me to do a spot. I'm like, Oh shit. Fuck it. It's like you're going to do standup. Yeah. It's like someone asked, like asking me for, if I want a blowjob or like, it's just like, because usually we put a price on everything. Oh, fuck it. Right. We want you to go to Brooklyn. We've told, you know, everything's got a price on it. When somebody tells you about comedy, even if we're losing money. Oh yeah. But my friend, until I met Terry, I lost money. Terry was the one that said, just don't happen to him. We got to tighten that fucking ship up. We got to tighten that up. Pedro. Anyway, real quick, the fucking Christmas holidays coming. You got a lot of fucking games this week. A lot of sports action. This is it. This is it, Jack. Oh, it's great. You got an NBA thing. You got football, college football championships, hockey. This is when the world you want to be with DraftKings. We're going to talk to you about DraftKings. We'll be right back. Hey, Uncle Joey here for DraftKings. Listen, the holidays are heating up on pick six. DraftKings' newest fantasy pick'em game. Tremendous. Make sure your NBA picks and get a shot to win big cash prizes this holiday season. This is how it works. You ready? You just pick more or less on two or more player stats. The better your picks, the bigger your payout. Dig? DraftKings Pick 6 is now available in most states. They just joined the party in Texas, California, and Georgia, Jack. So download the DraftKings Pick 6 app right now. Ariba. And press in code Joey. J-O-E-Y. Again, J-O-E-Y. New DraftKings customers. I'm talking to you. You could just play $5 and I'm going to give you 50 in Pick 6 credits with code Joey. J-O-E-Y. Ride the upside. In partnership with DraftKings Pick 6, where the crown is yours. Fuck that. You're going to put your Santa hat on. That's what's yours. Happy holidays from Uncle Joey, the church, Lee Syatt, and DraftKings. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18 and over. Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick 6 not available everywhere, including New York. I'll see you next time. Boarded as non-withdrawable Pick 6 bonus picks that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. We're back, Jack. Two more days till Jingle Bells. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ almighty. Where'd the fuck did this year go? That was quick. Dude, it just started. I remember it was Christmas last year, like two weeks ago. And that's what I think it is about being busy. We were talking about before the break. It was a busy. We did a lot this year. Like, you did a lot this year that you weren't doing in 2024. Your 25 was very different. Very different in many ways. And I'm happy. I'm happy that we put together a nice little crew. You know, we got the Titan Aviation, who's fucking great, you know. That was crazy. And that helps a lot, you know. Listen, guys, that airport one. Anyway, let's not talk about that. I was telling you before that I read that book, The Art of War, The War of Art by Steven Pressling, whatever his fucking name is. And I started reading it twice because this year I felt like I was giving myself bullshit excuses a lot. And I was. So I read it again and I felt a lot better. My first three years of comedy, I had no idea. My first two years of comedy, I had no idea what I was doing. And I told somebody, I told Becky last night at the dojo, I go, you could do eight spots or you could do two spots. Who stopped spots with a purpose? So for years I did comedy with no purpose. And then I started doing comedy with a purpose. Everything led to something. Everything was a bridge to something else. And that's, those are the nights you have to perform every fucking night and all that shit. But what I'm trying to say is even though I was stuck, I really wasn't. So people sometimes, people sometimes in life think they're stuck, but they're not stepping away to look from a different direction. There's a different, there's something different there. I've been thinking a lot about that recently because I'm, I'm basically where you are. I just, I'm really loving standup and I'm, I'm getting better, but I'm just doing every spot that I can. And I've, I've been just, I don't even know the answer at all yet, but I just keep thinking like, how do I turn this? How, how do I become actually more professional with this? Cause I'm not even, I'm not trying to headline and tour. I'm, I'm, I'm having a lot of fun with what I'm doing, but just to make, cause I'm not really, there's not really like a business other than getting funny right now. I don't really have never, I haven't done any of that yet. I think that you have the right attitude because I think if you get into standup now, there's so many bases to cover that you don't know what to work on. Do I work? Do I work on social media? Do I work on my special? Do I do this? Do I do that? And the rule number one is just get funny. Well, Joy, when do I know I'm funny? I don't fucking know. You'll know when people are fucking dropping in your shows. Yeah. You'll know. But even then, like, you know, I'm doing comedy 12 years. I'm as funny as all these dudes at the comedy store. No, you're not. Cause now we're going into experience. Now we're taking something else. You got funny. You figured out how to do it. You got to write jokes. You figured out how to pull a set together. Okay. Now guess what else? Now we got to work on this. Now we got to work on that. So there's always something to work on. Yeah. So for people to think that they're stuck, like if somebody says to you, I feel stuck in my life and you haven't launched with them and you could go, well, let's take a look at what the fuck's going on here. But it's, it's hard to find the right people to tell you what's going on. Cause like a lot of times, cause I've been lucky to be around. You and headliners, I hear people at my level say things that I just don't seem right coming from what I've heard, but like they're giving each other advice. I'm sure I give shitty advice to some young comics. Like it's, it's hard to know who to trust, especially when you're new at this. Listen, man, there's a lot of people out there posing like whatever, you know, and they take kids money and they fucking, I see it on Facebook. I see it on Facebook comedy where people always say, oh, I don't know. I'm always teaching classes. I've never heard of these people in comedy over 25 years. I didn't bump into this person one fucking time. Okay. I bumped into almost everybody at least one time, even Cosby one time. Yeah. In Colorado, Colorado Springs. Dude, did any of your friends start a class and like, they were just terrible. There's one guy that I know, very nice guy. One of the worst open micers that I ever met. Started a class. Yeah. I'm like, what is he? Now? Listen, I'm not going to knock them because again, sometimes those guys see what we don't see. Their genius is that, and they didn't have a genius to do it themselves. Maybe. I see what you're saying. What's the guy, the guy from the Lakers and yeah, the guy I always think Riley. No, not Riley. No. The guy from Chicago, Jackson, Jackson, Bill Jackson. So you can't, but I think people, I don't like people who take open micers. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like, I was an open miker and nobody ever took me for a ride because I had street sense, but a lot of people try. And the people who tried are the people who don't last long. They're just trying to get $2,000 from me or a thousand for material. And you're like, what do you perform, bitch? Across the country. I love when that, when that someone's intro, he performs across the country, you know? And it's like, that's why when I, when I did this, I want to do it correctly. I want to do every state. I want to host. I wanted a feature. I want to, you know, whatever you got. I did. I didn't care about the money. 500's good, but 750 is better. Yeah, of course. You know, 800 is good, but 950 is better, but the plane's 300. But who could, cause like, isn't it fun when you see yourself getting better? Like a couple of weekends ago in La Jolla, the first night I didn't do well. Like I did well in San Diego the night before and then Friday night in La Jolla, I didn't do well. But in La Jolla, it was an audience that I wasn't used to, like a, just a type of person, I guess. And I did, I did not very well the first show, second show, I got them a little bit better. And I went back and like completely changed my set for Saturday and just not like trying to force certain jokes on them if they didn't. And it went, Saturday went great. So it was cool. Cause I've had, I've had weekends where it's just like, if I, if they don't get me, they all like, I'll just keep doing the same material over and over again. And they, they, they, I'm like, they'll like it this time. And they, they still don't like it. So it's, it's just, it's fun. Even though like, and the money's not great or whatever to see like little growth is fun. Growth is fun, man. Listen right now, what I was just, you know, telling you guys the last eight weeks for me have been phenomenal. That's awesome. They've been painful at times cause I had a fucking back off, but at the same time, I did everything I had to do. And I'll tell you, that's why I'm really good with the boxing. It's not that I'm a better boxer. It's not like I'm going to beat somebody up. No, I'm working out more proficiently and I'm, I'm working in zones three and four, which I never did before. Like now it's like, yeah, like you went up to zone five today and now I understand. And I'm like, holy shit. When I got out of the hospital, I went into that fucking boxing gym two days later, three days later. And I just did three, three. Three minute rounds. That's all I had. And now I walk in, I do 10 minute walking on that hard fucking one. Not the regular one. The one that you propel yourself. Oh, I hate that one. Have you been on those? I've been on the bike version of it. I hated the one with the arm thing, the fan bike. I have seen the treadmills that just, yeah, it just moves. You just move. I've never done that. 10 in the beginning and 10 at the end. 10 minutes? Yeah. And then I do like. In a row? You can run for 10 minutes? Yeah. In the beginning and the end. When I first walked in, I could only do two minutes. Damn. Now I could open up with 10 and close with 10. I've been way too scared to go on that thing. No breathing problems, no nothing. Do you ever fall? I take my fucking things. What? Do you ever fall on that contraption? No. I hold on. Oh, you can hold on. I hold on, but I stand straight, so I don't slouch. Okay. I stand straight, so you don't look down. It's a lot easier when you fucking wallow up that fucking thing. I see those Olympians and stuff, like speed running on those. Treadmills that don't have no motor. I thought I would die. I fucking hate the treadmill. So I saw the growth. Right. Today, when I was reading it, I even showed one of the trainers, because he keeps asking me about whoop. I go, take a look at this feature. They'll show you where you were the last three workouts, the last three boxing dates, and compare them and say, this is what you did this time, so next time when you work out, work on this more. I'm really proud. I'm fucking ecstatic, man. Dude, this time last year, you were about to be in the hospital. Yeah. And so you weren't feeling really well. No, I wasn't. And I remember when I went in the hospital last January, I wasn't feeling fucking good at all for a while. And somebody showed me a picture that we took. I just bumped into it. She goes, do you remember this night? Where was this? I go, I think that was at Cousins. It was at lunchtime. Dog, it was a picture of me pale. Like, I haven't gotten no sun. Like, I was living in a closet. I'm like, that was last December. Were you having breathing issues? Or, like, what was the issue? Remember when Josh played at the thing? Jersey? We went. Yeah, yeah. And we ate the mushrooms and stuff. That night was the beginning of it. That night I must have pissed no shit 10 times from my house to that thing back to my house. I had to pull over on the fucking turnpike and hide behind my thing and pee. I was on fire that night. And then it just went throughout that. And that's what I was doing. I was pissing. Since I'm outside, I'm just getting the top off. But I'm holding it. And then it just builds and builds. So who the fuck knows? I'm just happy we ended the year off healthy. Fuck yeah. We could do the fucking podcast. And, you know, we did some dates this year. And it was great, man. I'm already working on my goals for next year. I'm very excited for next year. I took a break from writing a book. I'm going to restart that in January. I have to call it. Good for you. Yeah, but I had too many things going on for eight weeks. You know, guys, my body's to a point where I do what I get up early. I jump on it at about 1 o'clock, 1230. If I don't go to jiu-jitsu, I come home 1230. I go back in the computer room. I make some notes. There's some people I still got to call by 1 o'clock. If I get up, I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go eat lunch. And I'll get up and go, I'm going to bed. That's okay. I got to go to bed. I'll sleep till fucking 2 o'clock. I'll get up, take a shower. Mercy comes in at 240. I'm looking like Frankie Valli. Nobody gets mad. Yeah, no one needs you to work 12 hours a day anymore. But do what you find fun. And you love writing. I'm going to fucking bring, we're going to show these people. I'm going to bring one of my notebooks from 2018. Oh, good Lord. And I want to show you Monday through Friday. All your schedules? Monday through Friday. It was live. It was live. It was live. It was live. And you guys will fucking die. And I was 57. 56. And I was fucking putting in hours, Jack. Hours. I remember that the week would end when I lifted on Thursday morning. I was going home to take a shower, eat lunch, get my luggage, and get to a plane. And I would go like, fuck, I didn't even do anything. The whole week? Like, it was one thing to the next. You got to take mercy to martial arts. Remember? You got to have five. Yeah. So we'd get out at 6, eat dinner by 7.30. I was in the shower. You got to be at the store at 8.30 or whatever the fuck we were doing. A podcast, Monday and Wednesday, Sunday. I mean, it was constant. And I think that, making that move and all of a sudden being around all the fucking time just did something to me, man. I'm not used to, I like being busy. And I like my mind off things. The only time I ruminate on losing things is when I'm bored. Like, I'll ruminate on losing things. I'll ruminate on something that happened in 1995 for two hours. Oh, yeah. I'll go, what the fuck is going on? You know what it is? I'm bored. I'm sitting here like an asshole. Uh-huh. You ever have like a shitty minimum wage job? When it's slow, it sucks. It's fun for a little bit because you get to hang out, but then it takes eight hours to finish one minute. When it's busy and like the restaurant or whatever is busy, the whole day goes by like nothing. It's great. Again, it's like anything else. If you hate your job, you look at the clock every 15 minutes. You go, God damn it. Only 15 minutes went by? Motherfucker. If you love your job. Right. You're like, it's already 12 o'clock. I haven't even got my day started yet. There was a scene of that in The Sopranos. Who was the gay dude who had to go on the run, Vito? When he was on the run working at like the place. And he was talking to himself. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Save it. It's got to be an hour. The sun moved. Fuck. 18 minutes. It was great. So you hate your job. Yeah. That's how it feels. When you like your job. I mean, listen. If I paid you 30 bucks an hour to come in here in the daytime at 6, and sit here until 3, walk into the door and just tell you the phone's going to ring. But this is a laundry operation. Like, you know, phone's going to ring today. Anybody call? I come at 12. I bring you a sandwich. Anybody call? Nah. They'll call. 3 o'clock. After six months, you're going to go, Joey, not for nothing. I'm making the best money I've ever made in my life. I can't do this no more. I just sit down there. Or you'll go, fuck this Cuban fat fuck. I'm going to start my own business down here and start calling bitches. In the meantime, I'm going to bring a kettlebell here. I'm going to do some kettlebell swings. In the meantime, I'm going to bring the little midget bicycle that George got outside and do the bike for eight minutes. You follow me? Right. So what the fucking idiot looks at as a losing proposition, the savage goes, you know what? I'm getting that money. I might as well do something else. This is the time. What I want to do. I want to call businesses and sell ovens on the phone. It's the time to do it. I keep getting these fucking things from jobs for some reason, like Christmas jobs. You get like text alerts. Oh, yeah. Fucking name. They make 500 a day. I don't know. They actually make 500. Even if you make 250 because you're a retard, that's $1,250 a week. Okay. That's 4,800 a month. It's not bad. You can't live in New York. No. Uh-huh. You can't live around here. No, but you listen. But if it's part-time. Yeah. You combine it with something else. If you got one part-time job that makes that type of fucking penis. Yeah, that's nice. You might as well get you a night job delivering booze or whatever the fuck you do because it all goes to the same place. Can you imagine having a great job part-time that makes geese and then you had another job that paid you all cash? Nobody knows nothing. All cash is dude. I remember the first time I got tips. I was like 17. I, to me, it was rich. Cause like, which was a tip dude. It was the, it was the best. Honestly, paying. I got paid $10 an hour to work takeout at legal seafoods, which $10 an hour to me back then. Like it's not even minimum wage. Now that was way over minimum wage. Minimum wage was like eight 25 and I was getting 10 plus tips. Like, and I would walk with like 20 to 40 bucks a night, which when I was like, I was like, I was a teenager plus the 10 bucks an hour just to serve out clam chowder. It was awesome. Think about getting 10 bucks and I went after three hours. You just robbed the joint. That's the easiest money I've ever made. Oh, how about I go fill an application and rob the joint while I'm filling the application? What name do you put down on the application? I didn't, I just robbed the joint. Oh my God. Why not? You know, but these are all the things you have to look at the end of the year. Like what I want. For my life. If this is what I want to keep doing, you know, I'd rather you be broke and be happy. And like I was telling George on the way here, people have this, you know, this, uh, belief that, well, if I put my money away, I open up a business, then I'll be rocking. Well, guess what? It doesn't work that way. That's going to take 10 years of hard fucking work. And yes, at the end, it's yours. That's great. At the end, that is yours. And nobody could take that away from you. But how many people have the patience to do that before they go, fuck this. And it's also a lot of fucking money. I'm going to go work for my brother-in-law, you know. Like to rent a space. I can't tell you how, like walking around New York, I go to the same places all the time. There's buildings that have been vacant the entire time I've been here. There's a lot of open spaces for like restaurants or bakeries or that shit in New York. A lot of people shut the fuck down. Yeah. They shut down after the pandemic or before, you know. And operating costs, they fluctuate. You know what they put in Grange Village? What? They put a Randy's Donuts from LA. Okay. Yeah. They put a Randy's Donuts. Are you going to try it? You ever go there? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go over there just to get a Randy's fucking donut. Leave me alone, okay? You got to get your priorities straight. Two hours to get a donut. This is good. Yeah, let's take an IG picture so we can show everybody. We came over to the city and wasted four hours of my fucking life to get a fucking donut. To be cool. Look at me. I got a donut. It's from LA. Look at me. Have you been there yet? I was there last week. Everybody wants to be Johnny Goomba. Not me. Fuck that place. All right. So next time we do a podcast, you'll be a married man. Jesus Christ. Or we'll do a podcast for two weeks and we'll do it via Zoom, via Toronto. When you run, when mom breaks the news to you. Mom's going to break it heavy to you. Oh, my God. No one's breaking. Yeah. You going up there Sunday? Yeah. Wait till she fucking lets you know what's cracking. You're going to go. Oh, shit. She's going to go. Yeah. So get your passport and let's do this. I got my passport here. I'm always ready to go. We won't go nowhere where there's Indians, just in case. Oh, Jesus. John Wayne don't like Indians. Merry Christmas to all you motherfuckers and your families. Uncle Joey and Lisa, I love you. If we don't see you, I love you. If we don't see you next week, happy new year. And we'll be back ready to rock 2026 with a whole different fucking attitude. All right? Have a great holidays. We love you. Say you love them, Lee. I love you guys. Love you, cocksuckers. Stay black. Take better care of yourself in 2026 with Bioma. Bioma is a gut supplement that has prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics, antibiotics so you can get everything acting like it should, if you know what I'm talking about. What you do is you take two capsules before breakfast and you're good to go for the day. I've been on Bioma for a little science project for eight weeks. My color's better. Feel like hell? To get started, just click the link in our show notes and press in code Joey, J-O-E-Y, to get 15% off your gut's comeback. Who's better than Uncle Joey? And who's better than Bioma? Nobody. That's 15% off your first order when you use code Joey, J-O-E-Y. Just press in the link. In our show notes. Happy holidays. You follow me? Tremendous. You ready? 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