Am I The Asshole? (Part 6)

For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7up-rising. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Today, we're hopping right back into it. Am I the asshole? Man, I love doing this. Let's go. Am I the asshole for connecting to the AirPod after my niece swallowed it to see if it would play in her stomach? My immediate answer is no. When my three-year-old niece swallowed my sister's left AirPod, everyone started worrying right away. I was trying to lighten the situation, so I connected the AirPod to my phone and put my ear on her stomach to check if I could hear it. Surprisingly. I actually did hear a little sound coming from inside her, which made the moment a bit funny for me. But the people around us didn't really find it amusing. They all looked at me like I wasn't taking things seriously at all. I mean, you weren't. All right? There's a child who has swallowed an electronic device. I don't really know what happens. I don't imagine an AirPod could do that much damage. I do think this is a normal thing to do, though. I do think that for a second, you've got to be like, "All right, let's see if we could hear the digestive tract right now." Or track? I don't know which one it is. But whatever it is, you know, hers is banged up. I think you're a bit of an asshole for sure, but you're definitely, you know, curious. We're all curious. Can we hear anything? You know? Am I the asshole for walking out of the restaurant and leaving my friend? Ooh, it depends. I can't wait to hear this. My girlfriends and I went to a restaurant two days ago, and I was the designated driver. When the food came, I went to take a picture of my plate, and before I could even take the picture, one of them used her fork and stirred up my food. I got upset and asked her why she would do that, and she told me it was cringy. It was cringe to take pictures of food. I could tell the other girls were uncomfortable, but no one stood up for me. All I wanted was a damn pic because the plate was presented beautifully. I got upset and just walked out of the restaurant and drove home, leaving them behind. When I got home, I asked who paid for my meal and zelled her the cost. They started texting me that it was just a joke and that I was immature and that it was wrong of me to leave them behind considering I was the designated driver. Am I the asshole? Kinda. I don't know. Like, eh. It's a little dramatic for me. You know? Does it mean that much? It's a little weird that you're like that upset that you're gonna get up and walk the fuck outta there. That's a little strange. I mean, is your friend a fucking idiot? Is your friend a fucking idiot? It's a little weird that you're like that upset that you're like that upset that you're gonna get up and walk the fuck outta there. It's a little weird that you're like that upset that you're like that upset that you're going to get up and walk the fuck outta there. It's a little weird that you're like that upset that you're going to get up and walk the fuck outta there. You're gonna get up and walk the fuck outta there. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7-Up, flip the sip. Can't have this. Can't have this. So you're not the asshole. She's the asshole. Way to set your boundaries. All right, before we continue with this video, we do have some sponsors. 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It's an app that I've used for so many years. They sent me to the World Series. SeatGeek is amazing. Whenever I buy tickets for anything, it's through SeatGeek. I go onto their platform, and they show me. The transparency is something that I like. When it's dark red, this is a bad price for a ticket. It's overpriced, so stay away from those. But the green ones and the dark green ones, those are fairly priced. And I like that immediately off the bat, I can tell in an area that I want to sit in, like, oh, I should sit in this row. This is a better price for this ticket. It's great. And they have a ton of events on there at any given time. Any sort of concert or Broadway play or sporting event or whatever the case is, they have tickets for it. If there's tickets for it, it's probably on SeatGeek. So right now with the holiday season just around the corner, give the gift of tickets to something, which I'm going to do, by the way. Don't tell my mom. And use the code Joe2025 for 10% off of your ticket to SeatGeek. So your next set of tickets, you can get 10% off by using that code Joe2025. So go to the website or download the app. Joe2025 is the code, and you will save 10% off of your next set of tickets. Enjoy. Am I the asshole for telling friends and family I'm broke when they need money? I've had several instances where friends and family members borrowed money from me. They either never paid it back, or I had to really pressure them for the money. The issue is they all knew I made good money and saved. I started telling people I was tight when they would ask, but they wouldn't believe me and kept harassing. So I opened up a new bank, and only put $20 and funded it with just enough to cover bills, groceries, so that the account always just had a few bucks in it. Anytime someone asks, I show them this account. And when they started asking where my money went, I would say I developed a spending problem on alcohol, strip clubs, and casinos. This is like a completely unnecessary thing that you're adding to the story. You literally could have been, I invested the money, and now I can't get. You could make up so much things. You're like, actually, I'm a degenerate. I'm an alcoholic. I frequent strip clubs. And, uh, casinos. I like gambling as well. You know, anything. I've indulged in some. I've bought a lot of guns. That's what it was. I spent all my money on guns. And it's now gotten to the point where they are very worried about me, but little do they know I'm doing great and have more saved than ever. Am I the asshole for this? I don't think you're an asshole as much as you are, like, kind of a genius and an idiot at the same time. If you don't want to do this and you feel like, ugh, there's no talking to these people, they're not going to accept the fact that I don't want to lend them money, that conversation's too tough, I'm going to open up a bank account and put 400 bucks in it. You're using that. I mean, I think it was very unnecessary. You could have made it anything. You had the world at your fingertips and you chose to make yourself an alcoholic who indulges in casinos and strip clubs. Dude, what you're setting yourself up for here is, like, you've got to be really invested in the lie. So they're going to be like, oh, we've got to send you to AA. They're going to have an intervention. And you're going to have to sit there and everyone's going to be like, we don't like the way that you've been. You know, you've been doing it. You've been down the wrong way. Like, you've got no more money. Yeah, I would say you're a genius for the first part. The second part, I would have gone a different route. Am I an asshole for being a dick to my daughter's boyfriend? My daughter is 16 and in high school and recently started dating a guy. Fuck this guy. Okay? 16? You're dating my daughter? He hasn't necessarily done anything bad, but I just don't like how he looks. He has a mullet and thinks he's so cool. I heard him telling her once that he's not too worried about his future because he's charismatic and good-looking and he knows he will find his way and doors will open. I want to knock this little shit down a peg. I mean, that's a legitimate reason why not to like somebody. You're like, all right, bro, like, this isn't the real world. You got your mullet. You're lucky it's in style now, but when I was a kid, this was white trash. This was horrible. No one liked this. So you just wait. You wait until the mullet gets out of, you know what I mean? Out of style. You're just going to be another white trash guy with a mullet. Not as charismatic now. His parents don't let them hang out at their house, so he can only come over to ours. When he's over, I'll constantly ask him for help with random tasks like taking things down from the attic. When he's over with her, I'll start doing housework or sawing things in the backyard. He recently ate dinner over and I intentionally cooked such a gross meal. I try to make their time in the house kind of miserable. I sense my wife may be on to me, but I do feel bad for my daughter because I can tell she's annoyed, but I feel like I can save her from this douche. It's one thing to be not thrilled with the dude that your daughter's dating. It's a completely other thing to be like, I'm going to cook a gross meal and I'm going to go in the backyard and just start sawing shit in half. Like, what are we doing here? I mean, in this day and age, I think that all you can really do with a 16-year-old is kind of warn her about these types of guys. You know, they think the mullet's going to last forever. They're not thinking ahead. You know what I mean? You think he could skate off of his good looks? It's not going to happen. Okay, it's not going to happen. Like, you can only warn them about these types of things. You can't really, you know, do this stuff. I also think that I would rather my children spend time at my house than spend time at my house. I would rather spend time at my house than somewhere else because I could keep an eye on them, you know, make sure they're not getting into trouble. I definitely don't want to make my house a place where they don't feel comfortable or whatever. I don't want to create a divide between me and my children. I have none. Where they're like, they can't talk to me, they won't understand, they won't. I think this is a bad route to go down. I would rethink the strat. Am I the asshole for making my sister's gender reveal cake gray because no one told me the gender? That's not where I thought that was going. I bake as a hobby and I'm actually pretty good at it. My sister is pregnant and wanted me to make her a cake for her gender reveal. I asked her to send me the info so I could prep the inside classic pink or blue filling. She says, oh no, I want to be surprised too. Someone will reach out with the gender. Well, the deadline came and nobody ever reached out to me with the gender so I just made the entire cake gray inside and out. It looked like a block of cement. The reveal day comes, they cut into it and it's just gray. My sister and her husband are pissed. She pulled me aside and asked, why did you make it gray? That's so passive aggressive. I told her no one reached out with the gender so I had no data to work with. My mom told me I embarrassed my sister and that I should have tried harder. Am I the asshole even if no one told me the gender? Yeah, there's a very easy way to not do that. Also, you making the outside gray is nuts. It's just, you know what you're doing. Like, now you're being a bitch. You're going to make the outside gray and make it look like a block of cement? That's crazy. All you have to do is reach out. All you got to go is be like, hey, you know no one reached out to me. The thing's in a few days. I don't even know what fucking color to make this thing. This is very easy to avoid. Even if you're going to go the route of like, I'm going to make this joke. Still dumb. You make the outside gray. You make the most unappetizing piece of cake in the world. You are an asshole. Am I the asshole for telling my friend she reached her max potential looks wise? Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you outside of your brain with this? How is this a question? Am I, am I an asshole for telling my friend she'll never be as attractive as she was when she was younger? Could that be, could that possibly be seen as mean in some way? What an asshole. Do I even need to read this? Asshole. I have a friend and she's obsessed with her looks and constantly trying to find new styles, change her hair, new makeup. It's kind of tiring how often she is trying to improve herself. This person's fucking miserable and you're jealous of your friend. Oh my God, my friend's always trying to improve herself. Who, what kind of friend are you that that upsets you? The other day I told her that I think she has maxed out on her looks like she is as beautiful and as sexy as she could possibly be. She told me that was extremely mean because she doesn't feel that confident about her looks and that I was basically saying she's like a 6 out of 10 at best. I don't know. I thought I was being nice. Yeah, you probably thought a lot of stuff but you're wrong, Betsy. Alright? This doesn't sound good. I mean, I get it. You have a friend who's very vain and they care about their looks a lot and blah, blah, blah. If anything, that should tell you clearly someone's dealing with an insecurity about their physical appearance. I'm not going to throw fuel on the fire. I think it's one thing to be like, you are so beautiful. You are beautiful. Don't even worry about it. Blah, blah, blah. You being like, hey, this is as good as it's gonna get, bitch. So get comfortable. Don't be goofy because it's all downhill from here. You're gonna be a pig soon enough. How do you think that is a compliment? Come on. Am I the asshole for telling a potential employer the truth about my friend? Ooh, mystery. My friend put me down as a reference because we used to work at the same place. The issue is she's pretty lazy. I know for a fact she waited until the last minute to work on projects when we would work together. We live together, and she doesn't keep her room clean, and I always have to remind her to do the dishes and pick up after herself. So a potential employer called, and I did list her good qualities, but I also listed her flaws. She thought she was a shoo-in for the job, but she ended up not getting the job, and I do think that it could be a good lesson for her to work harder going forward. She said, keep my room clean and stuff, whatever the fuck. You're a child. You're a kid. You're a person. Do you think the appropriate course of action is like, I'm going to take away money out of your pocket. I'm going to take a job away. She puts you down as a reference, and you're going to go, Yeah, no, she's great. She's organized. She does not do the dishes, though. She's not someone who you can count on. What do you think was going to happen? You are a piece of shit. Not only are you an asshole, but you are the piece of shit that comes out of the asshole. You are both. Congratulations. That's a horrible thing to do. That is a crazy thing to do. If I put you down as a reference, just go with the hits. Don't tell them bad things. If they really push for a bad thing and say, Oh, he's a perfectionist. You know, he works too hard sometimes. You know, this is where you lie in your life. This is called being a friend. This is craziness. Well, there you have it, folks. We got two solid assholes there at the end in this video. I don't know why I did that, but what an amazing video. Thank you so much for everyone for getting to this part of the video. Don't forget to subscribe. We will see you next time. Coca-Cola for the big, for the small, the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts, the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new Coca-Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.